#like i sit here and i do nothing
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can i just not be depressed, cmon brain lets get up and do something, you havent turned on your pc in like a week. cmon up get your ass up stupid piece of junk lets go you cant just sleep all the time. lets go up and at em, lets go you piece of shit cmon lets get up and off the bed, cmon you can do it
#the depression hits :/#idfk like im not sad depressed#like the i have no motivation for anything depressed#like nothing seems fun#nothing is giving me serotonin#like idfk#like i sit here and i do nothing#and i can barely force myself to stay awake#idfk#im not really doing bad...but im not doing good#and idfk why#like everything just feels like its weighing down on me#and i feel like im being crushed by the weight of everything#like you know when you are just so overwhelmed that your chest gets tight and its kinda hard to breathe#everything seems so overwhelming recently#i feel like theres always something invisible weighing on my chest...some lump in my throat#i feel like someone else is pulling the strings#like im not fully in control ever#i keep lashing out at people who i care about and it makes me feel like shit#and i really cant have them leave me...#i only have her left and all i can do is be an asshole?!#i cant stand myself#i just want to...idfk...#i want to be ok again#im just kinda tired of being too much but not enough#and theres even more shit that weighs on me constantly#im an anxious mess and i cant deal with talking to people much anymore...but im so lonely...and i need people#i really just want someone who i can sit with in silence and who will hug me#oh shit this is my last tag i can use um...im not ok lmao 😄🔫
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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Wei Wuxian eats a watermelon. Yep!
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#nothing out of the ordinary here. Just good fandom fun#Watermelon discourse has been going on and I want to let people know where I stand.#This came about because I wanted to experiment with translating the (traditional) PD-MDZS style to a digital format#and while sitting there thinking of what to draw...my inspiration came to me.#This is the equivalent of sneaking vegetables into the spaghetti sauce but its important to get your gotdamn veggies#I'm not very good at organizing my thoughts (evidence: the tags of every post on this blog).#but please do not look away from this moment in history. One person cannot solve it and no one expects you to.#Even if it is just spending time doing some research on the situation and history. Or boosting posts that are more articulate#Any action helps! ANY action! Everyone has a different level of capacity for this and that's okay. Anything is fine. Dont let it be nothing#Anyhow. did I like doing this digitally? Yes but its mixed. It was faster but also spark the same joy I usually get while drawing#I will have to get over it very quickly though. You will all see why in a few days
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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I love jimmy. I really do.
He's an amazing horrible disgusting character and I love him. He has a deeply flawed psyche and a weird inferiority complex that feeds into another hero complex. So utterly consumed by guilt caused by him and no one else. So bad to the point he convinces himself, TRULY, convinces himself that this is curly's fault. That everything up to this point is both his and curly's fault. Almost like he wants to become him so badly, be everything he represented, become apart of him (the cannibalism). But yet is repulsed and envious.
He takes advantage of Anya because he thinks he "deserves" this. That he is owed. Even in death she is exploited by him, her comforting words used to justify the horrors he put himself and others through.
And funnily enough when he blames/shits on curly...he's somewhat correct. I can only assume curly has known jimmy was a POS for a while, the way he isnt infuriated at jimmy when Anya confided in him-the captain- and all he says is something along the lines of "I know him, he'll take responsibility"
Curly could have stopped pitying him, throwing him a bone, and this might have never happened, but to some extent, he was compliant. Liked, well, I loved jimmy too much, too much to cut the bullshit bc just like jimmy, he didn't want to take responsibility.
So they send others to do it and suffer for them.
#ironically enough i think curly's ending is fitting#he is forced to do nothing but sit back and take in what he failed to take responsibility for#everyone on the ship fails to take responsibility to some extent#but those two fuck up big time#esp jimmy#mouthwashing#i ship them in a “i love you so much i wanna become you consume you hate you” way#very “Brutus” and “Closer” type relationship if i had to make a Playlist#i know they hate fuck nasty and cried about it later and acted like nothing was wrong 2 days after#i like this game a lot surprised there isnt more fics of it#also sone of what i wrote here isnt exactly canon but speculated by me
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;3
#ninja showdown#my immortal soul#first ninja x chase young#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#chase young#rc9gn#xiaolin showdown#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#me @ me; how many art tropes we gotta draw for those two? also me: yes ;)#listen. LISTEN. the world is kinda shit right now and im sad and so im drawing a lot of these two rn to comfort me#but instead of drawing all those great angsty soul-tearing ideas i had. do you know what my brain decided?? DO YOU???#it saw a picture of Chase with wet hair and went: you know what would be very cool idea??? ;))) and i promptly sketched almost 20 pgs#comic where absolutely nothing actually happens but 14 of the pages contain half-naked wet men!!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT#somehow its not even the worst thing i drew because right after that???#my brain was like heehoo what about some love spell/pollen trope?? ;3 & i kid you not i doodled some of it and now im just sitting here#with my head in my hands wondering wtf am i doing as i stare at a doodle of love spelled first#so ye guess what im gonna be working on this month lol
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Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?
no
#anonymous#ai has nothing on an over-caffeinated human being copy pasting & taking screenshots past 3 in the morning & queuing everything#no but on a serious note most of these is the product of years of compilations stuck in my drafts & old files as a student#been going through my old bookmarks as well (bc need more space) so there may be random study notes or tips sometimes#thats also why i have a lot of grammar related stuff that i used at school --- still handy notes though#as for the requests i usually do them in one sitting & queue them -- not claiming to be an expert on those topics#i just try to look for the best sources i can -- which is fun bc i learn a lot as well &#i always appreciate when people send me more info or corrections#this genuinely made me a bit self conscious of my posts tho like do they look AI generated#just shoved a lot of queued posts back to my drafts lol will try to edit them better soon i know its a mess here !#also acccidentally clicking the 'shuffle' queue messed up the chronology at one point -- so been trying to schedule posts#instead of adding to queue ---- but will reorganise when i find more time#but yeah most of these are my literal notes -- excerpts / literally copy pasted from my references that may be quite outdated#that i need to delete but still wanted to save elsewhere
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Do not let the Protestant Work Ethic Beast in your head win!
You are not alone! You are not the sole difference between death and life! You are a person who will at some point need to take a break!
That is why there is community! That is why there is organizing! Do not despair because you, alone, are not currently boots on the ground fixing things! Do something, but do not let that something be collapsing!
#I will not be firebombing a walmart I have a dad to care for#Rn Im at work keeping the lgbtq center at my school open and cheerful#That's all I can do rn#that and tell yall not to kill yourselves#if you do I'm dragging you back cause I'm not doing this shit alone#Fuck Trump and his mama we aren't letting doomer shit win#You really wanna kill yourself over a bitch ass christian piss baby?? You're gonna let that man be your 13th reason?#It will be awful I will not lie to you. It will be miserable#But he is a bitch ass motherfucker and a coward who stands on nothing but his crumbling wealth and the hatred of his fans#Take a breather. Refresh. Drink a cold fanta orange with me cause that shit fucking slaps rn#Then get on the ground and get shit going whether that's packing your bags to go to a safer area or getting ready to throw hands#But the last thing we're gonna do is sit here and act like no one will survive to see another day#Cause I will. I will see the next day if it kills me#we will see another day and that day will be another one closer to palestine being free#that will be another day closer to ensuring human rights for all#another day closer to progress and a separation of church and state#another day closer to the rest of our lives#Do not collapse but I am here to pick you up if you do#And if I'm not someone else is#fuck it we ball#ex christian#religious trauma
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Heartbreaking: “problematic” danmei everyone told you to avoid is actually pretty decent and has mildly interesting things to say about poverty and class
#nothing here is groundbreaking or even particularly deep but I do love seeing politics in my silly little gay books#idk. I genuinely think injecting your stories with politics makes them better#even if it’s relatively surface-level stuff like ‘poverty is violence’ it still hits different than#fiction that goes out of its way to try to be ‘apolitical’#(it never actually is apolitical. it just exposes what the author considers to be ‘too controversial’ for general audiences)#erha#2ha#the husky and his white cat shizun#anyway erha hasn’t been anywhere near as traumatizing as people on tumblr make it out to be#like it’s not light reading and you should probably read the trigger tags before diving in#but it’s also not The Most Evil and Problematic Book ever y’know?#cleaning out my drafts#I’m trying to kill cringe and fandom purity culture on this blog so I’m trying to be brave and talk about more controversial things#this has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time
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I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌
#pix habla#fnaf#✨💖 even if you don’t like frogs and I post about frogs does that make sense#i see some yall not liking some of the stuff I draw and just kinda wonder ? why you still follow lol#i won’t take it personally#even if it’s a mutual heck I’ve even told my friends to unfollow if they ever need a break from my blog =w=👌#because It’s nothing personal >>#i used to ok so funny story xD I used to follow a friend in middle school on social media#and we were good friends but had nothing in common in what we posted about =w=#like she loved Beatles fanfics (don’t ask do not ask idk I didn’t read past the titles)#and i loved sonic :v#and like#thats aigh ? you don’t gotta ? follow a blog that doesn’t bring joy no matter if you’re close or not#i would honestly hate it if I’m making anyone upset or unhappy#so yeyeyeye I’ve said this before in other fandoms but like >>)✨✨💖 put 👏 your mental health 👏👏👏 FIRST ALWAYS👏#Stay safe y’all ✨👌 have fun be free#we’re all just… sitting here… online 😔 ain’t nothing to it
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b'elanna torres is donnies all time favorite star trek character you cant change my mind
#tmnt#tmnt donatello#tmnt 2k3#tmnt 2003#tmnt 03#2003 donnie#donatello splinterson#03 donnie#03 donatello#2k3 donatello#if i just sit here making shit posts i will at least not feel like im doing nothing#shits rough man anyway#something something donnies some kinda he/him lesbian trust me#turtle trek#I SUPPOSE#art#my art
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#soooooooooo we gonna talk about how yosuke enthusiastically jumps in to tell yu that hes the same#so ive already talked a million times about how yu and yosuke's types are basically each other and that how their r/s is so defined by their#attraction to each others kindness and reliability and all that but im just#kanji's expression is sending me here LFMAO especially because kanji is low key the one that kind of points out their closeness the most#tatsumi “hey let me in on this conversation” kanji#tatsumi “whos your partner now!” kanji#1000% kanji knows they're into each other he knows they're flirting without realising they're flirting#like never ever forget kanji's own sensitivity to the people around him and HE KNOWS. WHATS. UP.#but also the way no one else except kanji intervenes lmao#lmao i think chie yukiko and their class president are just really used to what souyo are like together (embarrassing not-pda pda)#so theyre just ah business as usual theyre doing that thing again. this is minor. trivial in the grand scheme of everything else they do#its got nothing on them passing notes or the way yu turns around to smile at yosuke and yosuke smiles back and they just sit there smiling#at each other in absolute silence. their classmates know to just walk around them and leave them alone.#class prez knows if he has to tell one of them its their turn on duty its a lost cause. they'll make up for it later as they always do#but for now he knows he'll have to get the broom and sweep the classroom floor himself#ok i jest none of that is canon (is it) but thanks to the sample bias i have from this scene#i am on the floor laughcrying at how everyone at the tables just#watching souyo flirt shamelessly like ah theyre at it again. why did hanamura-kun even suggest a group date hes clearly already dating-#he's good with his queue
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Anytime someone is apologizing in author’s notes for mistakes because English isn’t their first language i am picturing me holding their face in my hands so gently and saying to them “do you know you’re my hero? Do you know English is my one and only fluent language and I still catch mistakes in everything I write? Do you know how incredible it is that you are confident enough to write and post something in another language? Do you know that I’d kill for you?”
I am constantly in awe of people writing outside of their native language, especially when it’s English, because English is such a fucked up conglomeration of languages with contradictory rules and letter sounds that are unfair and stupid. Keep doing what you’re doing. As far as I’m concerned, the autocorrect in my head can keep mentally fixing whatever minor mistakes you make and I’ll keep getting fed the quality content
#I genuinely don’t know how you guys do it#some of you just DO IT#like it’s NOTHING#and I just sit here in AWE
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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sorry for being so chatty i’m just finally feeling more alive and am so happy to be off work lol. also i can finally eat whatever i want now that my gallbladder isn’t calling the shots anymore 😈
#rambles.#trying to figure out what i want to order tonight 🤔#the world is my oyster. but a very small oyster because we have like 5 restaurants here in hicktown usa#and like two of them don’t deliver so. i would have to go pick it up#which i super don’t feel like doing rn after putting on fresh pjs#i only took my two regular days off + one sick day for my surgery. so i really just want to sit here and enjoy doing nothing
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i like to put them in pulpy badends. bring your trophy boytoy to work day at the seedy organized crime underworld
#probably no one else on here is Like That but shrug emoji#this is months old i just kept sitting on it but i DO want to post it for archival purposes if nothing else#and just for ~*me*~#persona 5#akekita#auverse#mobwife badend#as usual shared with @ floodbender
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