#like i only know about this shit because i was married to a jewish man for 11 years

[manns-cape]

doing a show at this ~diversity theatre~ spectacle has been good for me because it let me speak with a french-senegalese performer/director/choreographer who i had my eye on for about a year prior. it was amazing having an excuse to see her working process for a few months. i really look forward to helping her career.

on the other hand, lmfao at some of the implications i've seen, working at this theatre, that racism as a thin-- conventionally attractive-- asian woman is like. an impossible barrier to get over. ... i beg to differ .... the difference of opinion between myself and the other performers in this show-- who are asian women who only consort with and work with other asians-- is a very large bridge to gap

every single actress in this show, besides myself, was born and raised in korea or china. they are all on-board with the shit-show "anti-zionist" riots against fucking saba-nur cheema, who is an asian muslim, and her husband, meron mendel-- an israeli-german jew. both cheema and mendel literally just wanted to facilitate discussion and *mendel himself is a huge advocate for palestine*

i asked whether they've listened to cheema-- like she's an asian muslim herself. and they all got VERY AGGRO that cheema isn't "actually" asian

and refused to explain why, lmfao (.... cheema is brown)

[jewish-vents]

As a proud Jew and a member of the Iŋalit Iñupiaq people I have never felt as seen as reading a Choctaw Jew's post on here. Christian missionaries hauled my people off of our lands and killed most of us and they didn't even inhabit the land. They didn't even build shit there, they just took it to take it, and I'm supposed to go "ah yes America has no colonizers" and not laugh when these people say "Hebrew is a colonizer language"? Motherfuckers, MY LANGUAGE IS EXTINCT BECAUSE OF YOU! You know who didn't ever try and force a language on anyone? The Ashke Jewish man my great-great grandmother fell for and married. People really expect me to be onboard with their fact-free zero colonialism rewrite of history while my people's lands remain off limits to us, illegal to even visit, the US government holding onto it on the off chance there might be oil there even though they never bothered to even drill for it in over 70 years.

"No other religion acts like this" first of all please read up on Islamic imperialism and get your boot off the neck of my indigenous Middle Eastern brethren and secondly Christian-governed Alaska wouldn't let Native students attend school with "American" children - that is literally how the law phrased it - unless we abandoned our language, our clothes, our songs, our stories, our religion and even traditions as basic as sharing food with poor families in the community. You wanna know how my great-great grandmother met my great-great grandfather? They were both arrested for violating the law and "indoctrinating" children into "Native, anti-European practices" by which I mean THEY WERE BOTH ARRESTED FOR GIVING FOOD TO POOR PEOPLE. They were both arrested by CHRISTIANS!

And people mistake my brown skin for proof of goy status and want to talk shit about how the only good colonizer is a dead colonizer. You're white and you're in ALASKA, you might want to rethink the words coming out of your mouth when most of your ancestors came here to mine gold and get rich and mistreat indigenous people. Even if I accepted the idea that Israel is doing colonialism, which I do not, nobody moved to Israel to get rich and rape indigenous women with impunity to the point where there are words in Inuit languages for gangrape done by white men.

I don't want to hear another thing from a white goy in Alaska about Israel being colonizers when the US bought Alaska from Russia. We were colonized twice for you to get to be here and tell me to my face how colonizers are bad. AND THEN people want to say my Ashke ancestors were colonizers. Fleeing Russia is not colonization, one, and two, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY LEFT?! For fun? What, they heard our weather was nice and wanted to come visit?

I am going to need white goyim to learn US history before they open their mouths.

I'm sorry this is long and I yelled/capslocked but I have had to bite my tongue so many times to not cause a scene because I don't want the university to come up with an excuse not to let me graduate due to poor conduct. It is so tiring. I feel like I'm holding my breath all the time. Graduation is tomorrow. Shabbat shalom.

.

[eye-in-hand]

Alexander, 27 (18+), ✡ autistic bisexual trans man, married to my platonic companion and in love with a gorgeous man, thank fuck they get along lmfao ✡ Deep in the depths of Jewish conversion.

Feel free to message in English, Russian, Spanish or Italian!

Art blog: @sova-dozhd

Fandom blog: @flut-flut

Book blog: @look-books

Header Image: Fanny Baron Rouah (fannybaron1 on insta)

I do not have anons on, if I can show my face while talking about politics you can show yours. Stand behind what you say proudly or don't say it at all.

And I have a lot of political opinions, but since I post about these the most and it's gonna give me the most shit lmfao:

All indigenous peoples have a right to self determination in their indigenous lands. All of them.

On Israel and Palestine: Note: These are not up for "debate". I am not spending any more time arguing with fascist hamasniks on tumblr dot com.

I am not qualified to have an opinion on how to end the centuries old conflicts in the Middle East. I urge people to listen to those in the region who support Peace and coexistence, whatever that may end up looking like.

Jews are indigenous to the Levant. You can not settle or colonize your native land. Israel is a land back movement.

The far-right of Israel speaks for Jews about as much as Trump speaks for me as an American. Which is to say he fucking doesn't.

While the conflict centers around Jews and Arabs, there are other groups of people in Israel and Palestine that also deserve safety.

Hamas is using Palestinians as human shields. Hamas and Hezbollah are terrorist proxies of the Iranian regime, and Arab colonialism is just as awful as European colonialism and has resulted in numerous native cultures being erased.

To actually care about Palestinian lives you must condemn Hamas.

The UN and UNRWA are arms of Hamas and the Iranian regime.

I will not engage with historical revisionism, propaganda, or Nazi rhetoric on any topic, but especially Israel/Palestine. I will not engage with terrorist sympathizers. And I will not engage with anyone who claims Israel is committing Genocide when that is not a proven fact and everything says the opposite of that (like the Palestinian population actually growing. Which you know, doesn't happen during a genocide.). I will not engage with anyone who refuses to accept that Jews are indigenous to the Levant, and Arabs are indigenous to Arabia. This does not mean I support killing Arabs in the Levant, as I believe anyone should have the right to live where they want. I just support Native rights to self determination in their indigenous lands, no matter how long they've been forced into exile. My position on Israel is not founded by Religion or the Torah, it's founded on archeological fact. If you ignore these facts, I am not engaging with you.

I will not engage with Kahanists either btw. Equating all Palestinians with Hamas is racist.

On Ukraine and Eastern Europe:

Слава Україні! Героям слава!

Westerners really need to get a grip on not supporting the USSR/Russia or Russian supremacy.

Communists are not the opposite of Nazis - the USSR did not fight the Nazis because they cared about human rights.

Here at home (the US):

Trump is a fascist.

You do not get to not exercise your right and responsibility to vote and then bitch and whine that you don't get what you want.

America has a real problem with the alt-right and the rad-left. The average person is incredibly radicalized.

Russia interfered with our election because Trump owes Putin's friends money (or government secrets, take your pick).

Misc:

I'm neither a capitalist nor a communist because we need an entire re-hauling of human society and the only way it'll ever get better is to demolish the economic system all together. However this is an idealized world view and not the reality we live in right now.

I support unions, a 4 day work week, paid maternity and paternity leave, and not having to work when you're sick!

Anyone or any movement that tries to get you to hate an entire group of people for traits they were born w is trying to sell you something.

Trans people exist, deal with it. Someone else's identity is none of your business.

Support victims regardless of gender

Whiteness is a western social construct but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect people in different ways. We need to be open to talking about race if we want to take a stand against racism.

To truly be anti-imperialism, we have to stand against it regardless who is doing it.

Pro choice. If abortion is murder every twin that ate their sibling is a murderer. Sound ridiculous? Because it is. A fetus is not a baby. Abortion saves women's lives.

Waiting for a revolution is not going to save you. The "revolution" is not going to save you. To protect each other we need to engage with positive social change!

Politics are not sports, you don't have to choose a "team"

Being safe from bigotry is not conditional. I don't care how much you disagree with someone. You can disagree/hate someone without being discriminatory.

Most Importantly:

Value human life. Value companionship. Value peace. Value understanding. Value communication. It's harder to be radicalized by hate groups when you put loving human beings over ideologies.

[heyftinally]

Taylor only has one thing when it comes to the opressed olympic. It's the fact she is a woman. And swifties use that for any criticism against her.

" Oh you just hate succesful women."

She isn't black, She isn't gay trans etc.., She isn't disabled, She isn't poor, she isn't jewish, she isn't muslim, etc... etc...

Swifties also need to learn that a black man is not more privileged than a white woman. They seem to think that she is always more oppressed against any other man.

They could literally think that a homeless black man has more privilege than the billionaire white woman. All because he is a man.

🔔🔔🔔 Ding ding ding, we have a winner, folks! You hit the nail on the head.

Taylor Swift has weaponized her white woman tears and "oppression" to her own benefit, and this is exactly how.

None of her fans seems to ACTUALLY understand how oppression works, they just take the pretty little buzzwords that they think are synonymous with "I'm a good person who's right" and parrot them like a $2 children's toy (half the time while sending death threats and racist/homophobic slurs, which makes it even more ironic)

Taylor Swift is not oppressed. She's just not. Honestly, yes, even though she's a woman - and before any feral Swifties come at me, I AM a woman - she's not oppressed, and I'll tell you why.

"Billionare" overrides most (not all) other categories. As soon as you're a billionaire, nothing else matters, because you can buy your way into and out of anything. Combine that with the facade that the entire world worships her, and guess what? Nobody gives a shit that she's a woman. She's not oppressed because a few people she's never heard of make jokes about how much she sucks - she DOES suck, but those comments have zero impact on her life. She doesn't even know they exist. In Taylorland, everyone loves her no matter what she does - even if she's best friends with/dating bigots.

In order for someone to be oppressed, systematic situations have to negatively impact their life on a day to day basis. Disabled people can't get married without losing their disability income. LGBTQ+ people are still getting murdered in the street for just existing and having their right to healthcare taken away. People of a variety of ethnic minorities still get denied things like loans at a higher rate than white people. Women get denied promotions because they're not men.

None of these things will ever happen to Taylor Swift. She can quite literally pay to access a "perfect" world, because she gets to pay her way out of normal life.

If someone makes a sexist joke? She can have that person fired and hire someone else.

She can pay for as much private security as she wants, so being safe is literally never a concern.

She can pay for private travel (and kill the planet every ten minutes), she can pay for private staff to handle her every whim and worry.

Taylor Swift has effectively paid her way out of oppression, because she can simply use her power, her money, and her legion of feral fans to get whatever she wants.

Someone makes a joke she doesn't like? Clearly it's "oppression" and now that person is "canceled" at best, or getting doxxed and sent death threats at worst.

Taylor Swift isn't oppressed because she can pay to fix nearly any problem in her life, so her biggest "problem" is people not unquestioningly worshipping her 24/7, which is what she weaponizes.

And fans will still claim that she's more oppressed than a black disabled homeless man, because they don't understand oppression OR intersectionality - all the know is worship Taylor and harass.

[kick-a-long]

i feel crazy. i think Biden might have done a dark Biden that no one has noticed. i'm playing around with it as a conspiracy theory, but it's not something that's ever going to be proven one way or the other.

it's very weird for biden, an old guy who has been in american politics forever/lived through the iranian hostage crisis, and harris, married to a jew and a lawyer with experience with criminals and victims, both democrates, to not support Israel. it's pretty much a given if you know the situation and voter opinion among hard core christians, that all american politicians support israel. even if you want to say, "no, israel is the aggressor and biden was ashamed to support them." in an election year? against attention whore, liar and lower than mud, trump? you think he would alienate much more reliable older and more conservative dem voters who have been adults during the trump and obama years (a much more conservative time) and who are much more supportive of israel regardless of facts? you trust politicians to do the moral thing even if it ends up with trump reelected? that's the definition of letting the devil win for a pyrrhic victory.

so why were they so weakly supportive on it, especially considering that the far left wasn't really a place to pick up votes? this sounds crazy but did biden intentionally give lukewarm support for israel because 1. it's pretty hard for an anti-authority movement to keep rolling when it gets support from the authorities, taking the air out of the anti israel protests. 2. as a way to show that israel is more independent than the rumors. that israel is a middle eastern country first and an american ally/lapdog a far second. 3. that even without an american administration's media support or direction, israel can handle it's own war tactically and offensively.

the pagers thing was a level of flashy and effective that's very rare in war. that kind of move usually only works once. it takes a huge amount of leg work and burns contacts but isn't as realistically effective as just doing a normal war. the pager bombs were a psychological attack as well. first it's impressive, clever and intimidating to the right americans and MENA muslims. it's pretty hard to go back to work as a terrorist when you are hearing exaggerated or real stories about dudes like you losing their dick and balls, especially as a macho man who wants to die for the cause not loose his balls for it. it's even harder to convince you're wife and parents that they are risking grandkids. idk if that's a cultural thing that carries over but i know for a lot of parent, the kid is an adult and you could care less if they live or die (especially if you are cool with martyrs) but you need grandkids like crack.

anyway. israel is taking hezbollah out like it's been planning the war for ten years. it's quite the message to send lebanon, who hates hezbollah and also hates israel, and american muslims, who probably hate hezbollah much more than israel even if they have been taught to hate israel, that israel is maybe, just might be, a potential liberating force from iran and can put together slick war shit in under a year. that americans are "skeptical" of israel. it's not like the dems were going to bleed jewish support after trump has been an open antisemite and supported literal neo-nazis CONSTANTLY.

maybe the surprise was that hamas was even involved since the IDF assumed hezbollah was the one's who were going to attack on oct 7? there's no way hamas's attack wasn't a surprise. the loses were too high putting it mildly, and terrorist attacks always make israel unpopular.

idk. maybe I'm coping because i don't love how wishy washy about antisemitism harris has been. it makes voting for her a bitter responsibility rather than a celebration of voting for hopefully the first female president. i also have a bias because i like to think that biden is a tactical genius. i like to think that harris is also on that level of tactical, given her history i wouldn't be surprised. I've known lawyers like that. smart about logic but also the tactics you need to move up.

well, if wishes were fishes... it would be pretty cool if it were all a thought out plan. real A team. time will tell if they get elected and there's peace (or peace adjacent) in the middle east. i don't think anyone will ever know if biden planned or nudged or just wanted to appeal to the hip younger generation.

I'm going to head cannon it as my personal conspiracy theory in any case if Harris does get elected and if a few MENA countries suddenly don't hate Israel as much. It's all so confusing and there's so little info i know about arab and/or Lebanese/Syrian/Yemeni/Iranian culture. especially what those terrorist orgs are actually like internally and what the citizens of those countries really feel about them. i know some history but that doesn't tell you what they think is funny or rude, ya know? whatever.

vote harris 2024.

[starrclownshazbinblog]

can we get more general angst :3 i breathe off angst

When I was writing that post I was thinking that no one would even like that post because why would you wanna know sad facts about my rewrite.

It's one of my top liked posts.

Ya'll really like sad stuff huh. Good thing I'm a artist!!

TRIGGERWARNING: GENERAL DISGUSTING TOPICS. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Henroin did everything he could to help Angel when his wife died. Angel, Molly, and Arackniss's mother also died in child birth because she was a POC. Angel cried over his shoulder multiple times. He didn't shame him, he just helped his baby.

Husk's father was extremely abusive to himself, his mother, and half brother.

Considering Vox is Jewish and lived during World War II he never got to be as out there as he wanted too. Yes he had his own small TV show but if he wasn't Jewish, he would have more funding.

Most people didn't like Velvette's fashion brand when she was alive. Velvette is a chubby girl, no one liked the chubby fashion designer's clothes for plus sized people. (This was me just venting at this point.)

Madame Pentious struggled alot as a human woman. She is a undiagnosed Autistic person. This caused issues in her life because she didn't know how to fix the internal problems she has. She was also around alot of things that triggered her sensory issues.

The smudgy dark lines that run down Mimzy's face us runny makeup. Mimzy was crying pretty hard when her manager chocked her up. Hell decided to remind her she died crying.

Valerie's limbs can break off VERY easily considering she's a porcelain doll. If this happens when she's alone or outside she can't do much about it because she can't speak. This causes her to panic. At one point this happened and Valerie tried to scream for help. 2 hours later Angel found her exhausted on the ground from screaming and crying. It wasn't pretty.

Considering Nifty has undiagnosed ADHD, she runs around alot and can forget things easily. This lead to other school girls calling her stupid for being so clumsy and forgetful. They told her no man would want her. This only strived her obsession to getting married and being wanted.

Valerie was bullied pretty heavily in school. For a matter of reasons, being Salvadoran, being lesbian (no one knew yet, they were just assuming, having a accent, being incredibly skinny. School was hell, so was home. The dance studio was her only safe place.

Angel used to struggle really bad with English. He's not from America and his family only spoke Italian so he didn't learn English when he was a child. He had to adapt pretty quickly so his family would fit in. Angel still gets upset if he messes up a English word.

Both Angel and his wife Carmilla are queer. Angel is gay and Carmilla is a lesbian. They were friends so they decided to get married so they can fake being straight. They didn't want to be kicked out of the mob or worse, murdered. They then had their daughter Isabella because of social pressure. They didn't want Isabella but they worked through it together. Isabella never got to meet Carmilla.

All three of the Spider Siblings died from suicide. Angel went first, then Molly, then Arackniss. They couldn't stand being away from each other.

Lucifer has the ability to take the magic out if Charlie. If this is too happen then Charlie falls lifeless, like if you cut a puppets strings. This happened once when Charlie and Lucifer got into a bad fight about her hotel. Lilith demanded he bring her back to life. He did very quickly, it was just a mistake. Charlie still hasn't forgotten it.

People rioted when Alastor's radio broadcasts began to take off on air. They weren't comfortable with a black man having unapologetic and truthful radio show.

Cherrie is obsessed with being strong enough to defend herself because she used to get the shit beaten out of her.

I could list more but I wanna be silly 😋

Asks are open, art is here, feel free to follow, reblog, ask questions, and things along those lines.

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[rametarin]

One thing I'm happy about:

It used to be okay to make fun of southern whites (and, really, the caricature was also intended to hit non-southern whites, from Europe to the colonies) but it was most acceptable to single out former-confederate southern states and 'the pockets of confederate resistance.' I you know what I mean) for being inbred to the point of retardation and full of so many congenital recessive traits from bad breeding and shit genes that, in the absence of breeding outside their family, they'd fall over and die in a few generations.

But then the usual people that'd aggressively insult southern whites, or then conservative whites, and call them retarded incest babies, started emphasizing their relationships with people from other parts of the world.

The rest of the world takes a much, much more lax view on incest than modern, liberal western capitalist democratic republics and still put stock in family bloodline purity over reality. Much old world culture and intracommunity hegemony relies on this notion, and cousin marrying is common. So to be so aggressively, unambiguously hateful towards "the products of incest" and those that willingly engage in it, is to hate fundamental aspects of foreign cultures.

And the byproducts of hard incest, recessive genes and diseases resulting in missing limbs, teeth, other congenital diseases, becomes ablism and a cry against eugenics, turning people that mock such characteristics into people more similar to eugenicists and Nazis than they'd like.

It used to be making fun of those things was alright if it was under the pretense of reasons why southern whites are bad, but now in the wrong mixed crowd it's like catching buddies in friendly fire. They can't do it. They have to overcompensate and take the high road and go, "jokes about incest hurt other cultures and jokes about retardation and missing limbs from recessive gene expression is ablist."

This sounds like a little thing but societal norms and standards, man. People could still consider themselves progressive despite talking to you like you were a cannibalistic mutant with gills and scales, from 3-10 generations of sister fucking, insulting your intelligence and calling you the equivalent of untouchable genetic trash, and that still be considered an acceptable progressive dig because, "only racists (white supremacists) engage in incest."

They wouldn't dare say shit like this to people that weren't white, because it would be taken and aikido flipped to being perceived as a comment about how "all black/asian/Jewish/etc people are inbred genetic trash." And rather than get caught in THAT industrial cutter of a non-starter argument, just never ever use incest or birth defect as a way to mock minorities, unless they wanted to invite accusations of racism.

Hilariously, greater participation and recognition of a diverse world made it more like playing minesweeper to do this. But, it's still considered some degree of socially acceptable to call white people retarded inbred sub-humans. They just have to be well insulated from consequences in their own sub-cultures.

[homosandhomies]

My favorite solo from each main character on glee (because why not)

SUE: Vogue. “WILL SCHUESTER I HATE YOU”

KURT: Rose’s Turn. Chris Colfer rarely got songs that highlighted ALL his vocal strengths. This song used everything. He had a strong head voice, an amazing mix, and he can EMOTE WITH EVERY INCH OF HIS LIFE. No wonder he got the Golden Globe.

QUINN: This Is A Man’s World. This scene is ridiculous, but out of context the song absolutely slaps. Diana can BELT and she deserved to do it more.

ARTIE: Stronger. Probably my favorite Britney song. Kevin ate. That is all.

PUCK: Only the Good Die Young. This song is so fun and I think Puck’s voice is very underrated. A good ol’ jam. Thank you for repping the Jewish community king ❤️

WILL: Sway. It’s a shame that we never talk about his voice because HOLY SHIT MATTHEW MORRISON IS INCREDIBLE. This man is so talented and we never acknowledge it because of Will Schuester’s shenanigans.

BLAINE: Somewhere Only We Know. You can hate Blaine all you want but you can’t deny the POWER of this song. The love in his eyes is sickening I am not okay right now

FINN: I’ve Gotta Be Me. Given the fact that Cory didn’t have any singing experience before, this song makes me so fucking happy because you can see how much he had grown as a singer, but also how proud he was of himself! Look at him go!!! (Bonus: If I’m bending the rules in terms of what qualifies as a solo I would 100% make his Paradise By the Dashboard Light. That was his undoubtedly his very best vocal performance. It’s SO FUCKING GOOD it makes me go batshit.)

RACHEL: My Man. “She may be difficult but boy can she sing.”

BRITTANY: Run the World. The dancing is definitely the more impressive part of this number, but it still sounds great! This song really highlighted Heather’s strengths, when most of her songs weren’t very memorable in my opinion.

MIKE: Cool. Maybe Tina should be a professional vocal coach because damn look at him go!! Idk why an Asian kid wanted to play the role of a leader of a white supremacist group but at least he sounds great 🤷‍♀️

MERCEDES: I Will Always Love You. Literally every single Mercedes song is perfect, so this was the hardest one for me. This means I had to base it on acting. And she DELIVERS here. It should be illegal to be this talented.

TINA: Because You Loved Me. The fact that this is one of TWO solos that Jenna actually got to finish infuriates me. She was ROBBED because she is an amazing singer.

SANTANA: Nutbush City Limits. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, MISS NAYA RIVERA. HOLY SHIT. Finn saying before the song, “They say that true divas aren’t really mortal” is so true. This woman was an absolute icon and I will always be blown away by her talent.

JAKE: Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself). It’s so EARNEST and HEARTFELT and Jacob Artist popped off with the acting. And the falsetto!! God it’s just beautiful.

EMMA: Getting Married Today. This is a trio, not a solo, but it’s so fucking good that I HAD to do it. That is literally one of the hardest female songs on Broadway, and for some reason they had Jayma sing it even FASTER than the original version? I can’t imagine the stress of trying to do that, but she was perfect.

SAM: Copacabana. This is just a really fun song! Everyone’s having a good time and Chord sounds amazing.

RYDER: Your Song. This is my favorite Elton John song, and boy was it done justice. The acting is really good in this scene. The mix of anxiety and earnestness coming from Ryder is adorable. He had great chemistry with whoever that girl was. (On a storyline note, I hated how this all developed though. If it had gone my way, Unique would confess it was her, then Ryder would sing this directly to Unique.)

KITTY: Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours. I just really like this number. Obsessed with Becca’s high notes.

MARLEY: Wrecking Ball. The cheating storyline with Bree was so fucking stupid and shouldn’t have happened. That being said, Melissa ATE what they gave her and left zero crumbs. She really came in like a wrecking ball.

UNIQUE: I Know Where I’ve Been. THIS SONG MAKES ME GO FUCKING CRAZY!!! THE TRANS CHOIR!!!! THE ACTING!!!!! THE FUCKING HIGH NOTE!!!!!! IT’S JUST SO GOOD I CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!!!!! This is the best part of season 6, full stop. THE most underrated Glee song ever. I will not accept criticism towards this opinion.

[allycat75]

Just a reminder, Boston Dumb Fuck, your normalization and tacit approval of antisemitism will not go away once you break up with the little Nazi wifey, as fake and forced as it was.

(Please note, for this example I am singling out the precious wifey's antisemitism, but you could substitute any of her other dreadful qualities that you have quietly put your rubber stamp of approval on: racism, fat-shaming, arrogance, laziness, entitlement, ignorance...)

I keep reminding you of this moral failing because antisemitism and Islamophobia is getting worse and the little wifey and her putrid friends are probably downright giddy (I can almost see that little smug face of hers now, until I vomit in my mouth a bit and it snaps me out of it. You know what that is like- I suspect you do that anytime they force you to kiss her).

If you think putting out a break up article, that will probably be neutral or even kind toward her, will be enough to clear the Karmic damage, you really are broken. You will be forever tied to her, having knowledge of her beliefs and behaviors and worse than doing absolutely nothing, you ran straight toward it and "married" her instead, something you had set up previously in your brand narrative was supposedly sacred to you. You wouldn't have just anyone be your "wife", so she had to be special, right? There is no plausible deniability for you here and a "divorce" doesn't erase your hypocritical decision.

If you have any hope of nurturing a soul back to life, you need to come clean. About everything (to the fullest extent you can)- why you did it, what you got out of it (or were supposed to), what was fake and how it was all orchestrsted, how you became everything you hated and used those you respected and loved. And for what? Two dubious roles and a car campaign (meanwhile Jinx is embarrassed by you and you had to whore your way around Washington, DC to see if you could somehow recoup some costs for the pointless ASP, making you look like even more of an irrelevant joke).

So, back to the whole antisemitism thing, below is an article describing what it is like to not be a coddled man-child and be afraid out of your fucking mind because everyone wants to do you harm for a conflict you have no part in and do not support, causing a bit more that just some cyclical sadness. I don't care at this point what Hollywood "makes you do". If it is really that bad and you aren't helping bring it to light, you are perpetuating it and abetting everytime they do it to the next person. Woman up and do something right, if you remember how to anymore!!

And here is an incident in your own backyard from only a few weeks ago, just for shits and giggles:

[edducard]

Danni I want you to talk about everything right NEOW.

But I know you need specific questions, so I will ask you to talk to me about your Edd bc I know the least about your version of him

oh yaya time to talk about his big spanish hispanic jewish family!!!!

he's the youngest of 6, oldest 2 aren't named or designed. I have not much of shit on them yet lmao!

Edd is the baby child of the family and was super super dotted on by his mama and he and Elain, the second youngest, are the closest, her kids r named after him! Edwin being obvious but emily's middle name is manuela which is the female version of edds middle name, manuel! He's a gay man he's the gay uncle. We love tio edd.

Next up is Sofia who's a transwoman who works at a tattoo shop in london. While Edd is learning spanish to speak properly w his family in spain sofia has cut contact w most of the family since transitioning for various reasons, but she still texts edd here and there. He's pretty much the only one that still has contact w her and it how the family still knows she's alive. she loves her pug furbaby Moonshine. May or may not have a crush on a local ginger lady who works at a diner near her work.

Rodrigo, aka Felipe, has the typical brotherly relationship w Edd. Loves to bully and tease him and is pretty cool w his whole gay thing, even if he says some fuck up shit every now and then. He's trying. Worries a lot abt Sofia due to them being so close as kids, doesn't know abt her transitioning tho and Edd's not sure if he should tell him or not. Mama calls him her little filly (as in the horse) and was definitely into mlp (thanks to edd getitng him into it)

Speaking of mama! Here's Reina, Edd's mother who never quite felt right in her relationship with his dad John. John is an orthodox jew and she was very iffy on getting a divorce just because she "felt weird" about it, but when Edd was about 7 she talked to John and, shockingly, he agreed to the divorce but wanted dearly to stay in the kids life, which of course she would let him. They still lived together up until Edd's teens before Reina moved out into her own house. They had moved to the UK while still married, shortly after having Elain, so Edd never really experienced living in Spain where the majority of his family resides. He also can't speak Spanish very well but he's been learning!

Elain had moved back to Spain after meeting a visiting spaniard and marrying him, resulting in her having two kids, but it really wasn't long before they divorced. Turns out he had a mistress she was unaware of who was also pregnant so she slammed that divorced hammer quite fucking fast and took custody of the kids. Edd swears he'd kill the guy if he ever sees him, Elain tell him not too because she want's to be the one who kills him lmao.

Reina isn't orthodox but due to growing up w John who is, Edd seems to... think... she is... so whenever she visits he's in a rush to clean up the house. This shit should have been kosher YESTERDAY! BURY THE BACON IN THE BACKYARD GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!! She tells the rest of them she actually adores bacon and is always slightly disappointed whenever Edd hides it from her. Tom tries to tell Edd about this but he just... wont rlly listen... it's ok it's not like it's rlly hurting anyone.

[alarajrogers]

Correct me if I'm wrong but In "journeyman of magnetism" Magneto implies that Gabrielle Haller claiming he wasn't Jewish but in fact Sinti to the UN was some sort of deliberate disinformation campaign or psyop as she knew full well he was Jewish in UXM 161.

In finding a Doylist explanation for 'the retcon' what led you there?

Yes. He's been obviously, blatantly Jewish since Claremont started establishing it -- non-practicing, but a lot of what he says makes no sense if he's Romany. So before that retcon was re-retconned, a whole lot of us were absolutely sure that the whole thing was wrong... and the entire "Magneto is Romany" identity thing came from Gabrielle Haller, who is an Israeli ambassador who survived the Holocaust. Throwing Magneto's Jewish identity under the bus to prevent a resurgence of antisemitism (similar to what we're seeing since the attacks on Gaza started) and protect Israel and Jews worldwide is exactly a thing I still believe she would do if necessary. (Rude to throw the Romany under that bus too, but in the world of Marvel, Dr. Doom is Romany; any extended harm that may come to the Romany people from being associated with a supervillain, has already happened, and Doom has made a big thing about his heritage and about protecting his people. Latveria is probably full of Romany people who migrated there because Doom wouldn't let them be treated like shit.)

Personally I am annoyed that they got rid of the name "Erik Lehnsherr" (which was never either a Jewish or Romany name -- it means "lord of the land" and neither group was allowed to own land -- but if it had to be one or the other it made more sense to me that it might have come from a gentile man marrying a Jewish woman, since Jewish identity is carried from the mother, at some point in the past.) They could have gotten rid of the Romany thing without getting rid of the name. "Max Eisenhardt" is just... it's one of those too-apropos Marvel names, given that Max and Magnus mean the same thing and Eisenhardt means "iron strong" or something like that. It's got the word "iron" in it, is the point. (Some people at the time claimed it meant "iron heart" but that's inaccurate, German heart is "herz"; hardt means something like "hardy, brave, strong" in names.)

But even if it was Magneto who set up the Erik Lehnsherr identity... Gabrielle would have known better. Romany didn't go to Israel, and in Israel, Magnus probably did practice Judaism, at least enough of it to not stand out.

Part of my entire problem with the removal of the Erik identity, aside from the fact that it had already been assigned to him in the movies by that time, was that in Age of Apocalypse, David Haller addresses him by that name. If he only used it for a brief time while he was hunting for Magda, and then ditched it to be "Magnus" when he went to Israel, why would David even know it? Also, Charles calls him that name. Charles has been inside his head, Charles has to know his real name. Does Magneto consider "Max Eisenhardt" a deadname? Why would he? He got rid of the name because he was wanted in the Soviet Union for murdering half the town of Vinnitsa, not because he wanted to reject the memory of his family. (Not then, anyway.)

[beardedmrbean]

Oh about the thing of a world where Jewish people aren’t told about what Hadrian did to Israel hence the modern Jewish diaspora

While they aren’t taught that in general schools, hmm feel like this is a sitcom joke

Jewish child: Mom why I have to deal with my annoying cousins again? What this holiday about

Mom: It’s about when people try to wipeout our tribes and we survived!

JC: Wait wasn’t that the last holiday we got together?

M: There a lot more ,but I can avoid next the family get together without your grandma guilt tripping me

Actually if I remember correctly the night in museum sequel had a pre Moses pharaoh couple in it and they mention they thought their Jewish slaves were fine.

But Ben Stiller (a Jewish man) character pointed out to them that it actually sucked for his ancestors and their former slaves made holidays reminding how bad it was.

And the hoteps-waaaaait

Oh…the Tutankhamen phenomenon, actually I saw a National Geographic magazine irrc at Walmart. And I sent it to my friend that the irony of how the Egyptian erased Tut names from records and pretend he never existed. But now millions of people had, have, and will say his name

But the Egypt phenomenon, I think people don’t really know Tut is an extremely recent find. Like only a century old. He was important to the Egyptology because he tomb wasn’t constantly looted and body barely meddled

But then we learned the truth about why he wasn’t touched. The cult of aten, the priests of Ra, why he was never brought up in previews pharaoh list. Only for most Egyptians having a vague idea that there was this heretical pharaoh prior to Rameses

But something got me wondering about people idea of Egypt…wait y’all think the Egyptians couldn’t get as corrupted as the Roman’s or Chinese? King tut is a prime example how corrupted they could be with how they exploited and treated him after death

Actually you can go to tut tomb in origins dlc and there some words on a tablet they translate to “May he be remembered!”….the tragedy it’s wasn’t his direct civilization that made sure he is remembered today. It was though who came after long after ancient Egypt died

Oh tangent, but I’m getting terrified with how so many people have a 10 year old comprehension on non white civilianizations

Also yes a lot of the slave trading African kingdoms are gone….buuuut everyone knows their descendants are running around.

Also for me, I like to sneak around without telling my identity. So I know how much horse shit most SJWs are. And while this harder, I can easily sneak into Internet forums or chat groups of native Africans and realize the tricks and exploitation. Of course not all, but I got a bitch snap of reality how they basically CRINGE when a black American comes their way

Tbf the black Americans they loathe are usually the same ones I loathe too

Also you mention the passive aggression, here the thing, if they try the con artists shit, I will hint at me going beyond the surfaced levels.

And if they don’t stop, I unleash my knowledge of the Dahomey on them.

Also which African countries asked for slave reparations?

Fuck them

No seriously fuck them on Satan cock

It was YOUR ancestors that sold my ancestors for guns. MCU Wakanda, pan Africa bs, Obama bombing the living fuck out of your ass. The Congo shit, ALL OF THIS STARTED FROM YOU!

I would rather marry a direct descendant of Robert Lee or President Davis at a confederate theme wedding than give one penny to these activists asking for refunds

Jewish child: Mom why I have to deal with my annoying cousins again? What this holiday about Mom: It’s about when people try to wipeout our tribes and we survived! JC: Wait wasn’t that the last holiday we got together? M: There a lot more ,but I can avoid next the family get together without your grandma guilt tripping me

Really one of the best ways for everyone to keep track, Jews and Gentiles alike.

Actually if I remember correctly the night in museum sequel had a pre Moses pharaoh couple in it and they mention they thought their Jewish slaves were fine. But Ben Stiller (a Jewish man) character pointed out to them that it actually sucked for his ancestors and their former slaves made holidays reminding how bad it was.

I don't remember if I've seen the 2nd one or not, Ben and Owen get together and fart out a movie whenever they feel like hanging out for a month or so same way Adam Sandler does it, which is fun since they get to give lots of people work the same too, it's a good formula.

Nice that he tossed that bit in with the Pharaoh

But then we learned the truth about why he wasn’t touched. The cult of aten, the priests of Ra, why he was never brought up in previews pharaoh list. Only for most Egyptians having a vague idea that there was this heretical pharaoh prior to Rameses

There's a lot of stuff going round from that time, Akhenaten and all that and people theorizing connections between the cult of Aten and the Israelite's, since monotheism and all.

Hyksos is the people of the 15th dynasty of Egypt, but they were northern Egypt at the Nile Delta, 16th and 17th dynasties were going at the same time.

Theory runs with Joseph having established the area after his whole thing, not sure if the timelines work too well or not haven't read a whole lot on it, yet.

Also yes a lot of the slave trading African kingdoms are gone….buuuut everyone knows their descendants are running around.

That made me look for something and find something else I'll need to read in a little bit.

Why slave descendants want the Benin Bronzes to stay in US

TL:DR; I'm guessing is.

Also which African countries asked for slave reparations? Fuck them

That was part of the question, looking at benin, states bordering benin might have a claim but they should make it against benin.

Also these areas

But might be more the Afro Iranians, Afro Palestenians, and any other of those groups that may exist in MENA as a result of being sold into slavery that will want to collect from those

It was YOUR ancestors that sold my ancestors for guns. MCU Wakanda, pan Africa bs, Obama bombing the living fuck out of your ass. The Congo shit, ALL OF THIS STARTED FROM YOU! I would rather marry a direct descendant of Robert Lee or President Davis at a confederate theme wedding than give one penny to these activists asking for refunds

Harsh, fair, and funny.

Congo will get theirs from Belgium, they kinda deserve it after what Leopold did, think they've gotten some already.

[kaesaaurelia]

Thinking about the temple I went to briefly in college where a minyan was "any ten willing adults who made it here despite the weather -- sometimes we only get eight, though" because it was Central Illinois and they were mostly interfaith families, vs the shittiness of my mom's childhood rabbi who said he'd marry my parents without requiring my father to convert, then like three months before the wedding said, "Oh, actually I don't do interfaith couples." Thinking about the girl who deadass got up in front of my French class and argued passionately that every country in the world should follow rabbinical law (which version? idk, her version) and try boys old enough to be bar mitzvah'd as adults so they would be subject to the death penalty. Thinking about how exposure to that one single Central Illinois temple's idea of a minyan would've killed her stone dead.

Thinking about the neighbors that lectured my parents about "not raising me right" because we had a Christmas tree so I was clearly not being raised Jewish, and the next year, thinking about how my parents got the most obnoxious neon blinky star and put the tree in the window that faced their house. Thinking about my dad's family that kept giving me Jesus-themed presents for Christmas until we stopped talking to them, who could never acknowledge that my mother had a law degree. (Thinking about how my great-grandmother on my mother's side got her doctorate in French literature after her first husband died and she married her second husband, who was a rabbi. Exposure to my mother's mother's family would've killed my dad's family stone dead too, maybe.)

Thinking about how I grew up being made fun of for not "looking Jewish" even though that's not how anything fucking works, but my mom was adopted and didn't convert, so to lots of people she's not really Jewish and neither am I. Thinking about how in middle school my best friend (also Jewish, no adoption history) and I used to be mistaken for twins (so I do look Jewish, even though that's not how anything works), and about how now she and one of her other best friends (white Latina, like my mom's biological mom) are mistaken for sisters. Thinking about how both of us signed my friend's ketubah when she got married even though her other look-alike friend is goyisch, because the sweet old lady from her temple who was going to sign it got lost on the way to the lodge and, it being an interfaith wedding in rural Illinois, all the other Jews who got there that early were related to her. The rabbi said she considered it valid as long as the signers were unrelated adults, and as a female rabbi I assume she also has faced her share of accusations of Not Good Enough.

Thinking about how recently I had to explain to my doctor how I, a white woman, could have sickle cell trait. My doctor seemed shocked and appalled that an interracial union could produce pale-skinned descendants. Thinking about how my whole life has been an exercise in arguing about how little biological ancestry matters until suddenly it does -- suddenly it's a medical issue you're facing, a mystery kidney condition where they can't diagnose it and you maybe get a kidney removed for no reason and continue to suffer on and off (what happened to my biological grandmother), or, if you're lucky, you have a heads up that the doctor isn't very good and can convince him to hold off on the operation long enough for the Afro-Caribbean intern who knows his shit and has seen this before, to diagnose you properly (what happened to my mom), or you're me, thankfully you just have chronic anemia, mention the sickle cell trait, are disbelieved at first, and then are lectured by your doctor about the primary danger of sickle cell trait: if you have children (presumably with a white man) you are going to have to explain this VERY CLEARLY to him beforehand so he knows you didn't cheat on him, because why would he trust you?

(Thinking about the nurse who told my mom I might "come out black" because she had sickle cell trait, and how my mom had to be prepared to defend her fidelity to my dad.)

Kidney issues? Anemia? Well. I guess angry husbands are a greater health risk to women, after all.

(Thinking about all the times my mom has had to fight for barely adequate medical care; about how many times she has argued with the doctors, half-conscious, about one of her various life-threatening conditions, and forced them to listen for once to the sick fat woman who thinks she knows things; about how many times I could have never been born if she hadn't argued. And thinking about how hard it was to be raised by someone who still to this day can never acknowledge she might be wrong, and I'm not saying this justifies what she did to me, but goddamn, if I'd been fighting for consciousness that many times to yell about insulin or whatever, I'd be hard-pressed to back down, too. I'm not planning to have kids, by the way; the kidney issues are way more likely. Not that he asked.)

Thinking about my great-grandfather the rabbi and his ham bone seder, there being no other bones available for the seder plate in that town in rural North Carolina, and then I feel I have to clarify, no, he was my step-great-grandfather, and my mom was adopted, I'm not really related enough to him to claim him as an ancestor. But then again, what kind of rabbi would look at a ham bone on a seder plate and say it was good, and then look at me and say we're not family? I might not look like him, I'll never know, but I know my mother takes after him because we had a dog toy on the seder plate once and if that's not likeness I don't know what is. I don't think he ever doubted his own Jewishness; some of his family fled the Spanish Inquisition. But I think he'd think I was Jewish enough.

I don't know Hebrew and I didn't grow up going to temple, because that one rabbi sucked and all the other temples in town -- and we were arguably spoiled for choice -- were much more rigid in their interpretations of the rules. I never got bat mitzvah'd or even confirmed. Most damningly, I hate arguing. But I can, and I will, and I come from a long line of people who had to argue to survive, and also one guy who got caught in the middle of hog farm country and had to put together an unplanned Seder. And so, I think, if the ham bone was good enough, and any ten adults who made it to temple in a blizzard can be enough, probably so am I.

(Thinking about the time when I was four or so and learning to set the table, and I asked my father -- who is not Jewish -- why it was important that the forks be straight, and he said, "It's so they know we're Jewish." That one isn't a deep thought, my dad is just a troll. But I was probably eight or nine before I was like "hang on, that doesn't seem right..." and when I got older and tried to read the whole Torah for myself, I kept a sharp eye out for mentions of silverware.)

[regret-breathing]

last night i had a dream that my ex girlfriend was getting married to Armie Hammer. I was invited to the wedding, and invited to be her maid of honor, because we were secretly sleeping together and she needed moral support from her lover while she got married to her awful fiance. Also because like, even if we hadnt been sleeping together I imagine she wouldve brought me along because in the dream she had like. Just gotten back from the ISS (or dream equivalent, she was an astronaut in the dream, she isnt an astronaut in real life), and was not really prepared to be in a huge public event after being in space for a considerable amount of time. you know how it is when you come back from being in space after a considerable amount of time.

this is loooong so. yeah. the rest is under the cut.

anyway so I’m at this wedding, helping my secret lover get ready and helping keep The Fucking Hammers (who were giving extreme Bluths from arrested development energy) at bay as much as possible. wedding’s being held on this GOOORGEOUS little secluded island off the coast that they own (ew), we’re enjoying the sea air, we’re eating bonkers delicious food that probably cost enough to feed me for a year, when she fills me in about The Book.

Apparently in my dream world the Hammers have this whole ritualistic practice centered around The Family Book, a massive ancient tome supposedly containing the signatures of every Hammer dating back centuries, as they sign some sort of oath or contract when they come of age. Think like. what if the eagens from severance had the same unsettling religiosity but it was more antisemitic blood rituals trope and less corporate strategy. there were holidays about this book there were seasonal traditions about this book they were on some wild shit with this book. according to dream-ex “all old families like them have something like that”. i dunno man this book feels a lil fucked up, and again a little too close to some antisemitic tropes idk why my heavily jewish brain did this to me.

Anyway so she tells me all this because apparently it’s Hammer tradition that as a part of weddings, they have a private ceremony before the legal one where they properly induct those their children choose to marry into the Family, and so have them Sign The Family Book. i’ll be expected to go and serve as Witness, because i’m the maid of honor. she says it like it like it’s some great and incredible honor, to see the book signing ceremony as an outsider (and of course be sworn to secrecy as long as i shall live).

I’m like o.o maybe tell ppl that before they accept being your maid of honor, but fuck it! in the dream i love this girl so i’m like, in for a penny in for a pound i’ll go to your scary blood contract party to help you stay calm during it. so after everyone getting ready, she’s in her beautiful wedding dress I’m inexplicably wearing the himemiya anthy red wedding dress from utena (but without the crown or gloves) and i gotta say this is the first truly unbelievable thing in this dream so far. i wouldve worn a suit it wouldve been great and i got some audacity but i knooow i wouldnt roll up to my secret lover’s wedding in an anime wedding dress thats just gauche. and reeeeally obvious. im a bit buffooonish at times but im slicker than that.

So we’re all prepped and pretty and it’s wedding time, dream-ex is understandably anxious, i’m understandably anxious, and someone waylays us in the halls of the (seriously goooorgeous) venue to let us know it’s time for the Book Signing. we follow them to the chamber, and it is Weird in there. Basically, picture a very large cavernous room, totally dark in there, no windows, inky almost cave-like blackness. at the center theres like a corporate looking metal-and-glass conference table with super tall backed matching chairs, illuminated only by these blinding spotlights that blare down at each seat at the table, a double wide one encapsulating the two seats at the head of the table for the couple getting married. i like just woke up im glad i still remember this because it was an insane visual.

the whole collected living Hammer family is gathered around the table, all looking solemn and almost grim, they turn to us and beckon us warmly to join them at the table, she is seated to the left of her fiance at the head of the table, and i am next to her across the corner because i guess thats where the witness goes. Armie Hammer (first time i see him in the dream) is wearing basically the same fit he wore in Sorry To Bother You, except with the biggest Sonic blue high tops you ever seen. vividly remember these shoes. it’s kinda swaggy. He is also clutching the largest clearly hand bound leather tome i ever seen in real life, with slighly mismatched pages, dark almost black leather, with notably a large brownish stain on the spine where supposedly Grampappy Hammer fatally struck a rival with it and they’ve respectfully never cleaned the stain to remember.. something. i think there was a reason. this was an anecdote people were telling the whole fucking time. heard it like 4 times over the course of the wedding. miserable vibe. So he’s clutching this book tight, barely acknowledging his fiancé (dick move but i guess he was swept up in the ceremony), only occasionally mumbling to his best man, his brother (i have no idea if armie hammer has a brother but my dream said he did so im going with it).

i dont remember how or why but i guess dream-ex made an excuse to leave for a second?? or maybe im misremembering and i got there first and she was late?? or something?? but i pretty clearly remember getting there together so maybe she made an excuse to go to the bathroom or something i dunno. either way she steps out for a moment and im like. pretty heavily spooked by being alone with The Collected Hammers And Their Fucked Up Book in this Creepy Weird Ritual Chamber. the vibes are Off. theres sort of awkward chatter and I try to participate but Armie Hammer gives me a Look when i try so i shit tf up. Eventually dream-ex comes back, and she’s visibly more anxious than before. I try to discretely check in on her and she brushes me off, but sort of slowly takes my hand which is a little weird because we’d agreed not to do pda around the Hammers.

Then. Fucking. Okay. If you’re ever in this situation for whatever reason. DO NOT. DO THIS. TO ANYONE YOU LOVE. But yeah so she’s taken my hand, takes a pause while the Hammers look confused at her, and before the booksigning can begin she says she has something to say, and fucking TELLS THEM ALL THAT WE HAVE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR. I am flabbergasted right, we’d agreed that she was gonna go through with the wedding and i was cool about it because i woudlnt want to fuck over the Hammers they scare me. but yeah so she totally blindsides me with this, and i get it right i woudlnt want to sign their fucking book either, she probably made the right call, but cmonnnnn at least let your secret lover know BEFORE you tell the richest people ever that youve been screwing behind their backs WHILE THEYRE CARRYING THE MURDER BLOOD BOOK. So the Collected Hammers are shocked right, i’m surprised but kinda impressed by her absolute audacity, she’s doing a great job of appearing calm even though by the grip she has on my hand she’s freaking out, and Armie Hammer is just utterly confused by this turn of events. And she takes it one step FURTHER. she tells them that she fully intends to marry ME that day instead of Armie Hammer, when we’re on their private wedding island, with a wedding ceremony they paid for, surrounded by 100% of living Hammers and VERY few other guests, and I WAS NOT AWARE SHE WAS PLANNING THIS. and at this point, yknow what, i gotta give it up to dream-ex. brass fucking balls. looking Known Cannibal Armie Hammer in the face and telling him shes been fucking around on him, that hes not getting married today, and that some fucking dyke is gonna steal his girl right in front of him, all while he’s holding The Family Book no less. He’s gone from shocked staring at her, to death glaring at me, and im pretty sure hes gonna murder me with the book, or maybe his family will kill me with their hands because theyre looking Agitated, but he sort of sighs and just tells us to get out. And we do! we leave the spooky vaguely antisemitic corporate ritual chamber and get the fuuuuuck out of there.

admittedly not very far it’s not like we leave the island or anything, all the boats are Hammer boats. we go back to her dressing room and i’m like forreal we’re getting married today?? she seems relieved not to be marrying into the Hammers and doesnt seem like she thinks we’re about to die so i decide not to be unhappy with being blindsided like that. shes like yeah and im sort of giddy, theres some smooching, etc etc etc.

So we go to the much more normal wedding ceremony, which I’m expecting to be empty because like 80% of the guests were Hammers or Hammer adjacent, but it’s a full fucking house, and it is some WEIRD energy in there. We get married by the priest (who I’m pretty sure looking back is the priest from the season 4 finale of Peep Show), irl i wouldve been pretty salty about having a christian wedding but i guess when youre stealing someone else’s wedding and are pretty sure theyre gonna kill you because Armie Hammer is still holding The Book, you try not to be a stickler about it not being a rabbi. So we get married to utter silence from the host of Hammers and a modest amount of dream-ex’s family, it’s awkward, theres a smooch, yaaay woo should be the end of the dream right? right?

wrong!! because my brain hates me and wants to put me through MORE torture, for some reason instead of just getting on a boat to the mainland and finding somewhere Not Full Of Hammers to celebrate, we fucking go to the reception! for some reason!! and inexplicably, so does the entire Hammer family. It’s a nice party, the vibes are BAD but the food remains excellent the drinks are frighteningly expensive and the decor is tasteful if a little bleak, we’re sitting very awkwardly at the Big Table completely surrounded by Hammers and Armie is still holding the fucking Book for some reason, I’m trying not to look too frightened so i can make sure dream-ex is okay, i give us plenty of excuses to leave but dream-ex steps on every one of them, insisting on staying in the Hammer Zone. We do try to stay around her small number of guests though, spending time with her parents, answering lots of bewildered questions about how the fuck this happened, generally avoiding the Hammers as much as possible who for some reason DO NOT LEAVE. I dunno i guess it’s their island so whatever but if i were Armie Hammer and my fiancee ran out on me and then stole my wedding and claimed squatters rights to stay there I think I’d just go home???? maybe that’s just me but I’d definitely bounce if I were the Collected Hammers.

Oh right another awkward wrinkle— dream-ex is an astronaut in this dream right, so she’s been back from the ISS for a while now, and part of why she was getting married at all is because either the following day or two days later or something she was either going back up to the ISS for another shift up there or maybe to the moon??? i remember people mentioning the moon, but i dunno because like, they dont stay on the moon forever, doesnt seem like astronauts stay on the moon for even a full day, so it’s not like a Getting Shipped Out To War thing where you get married before you go because you might not come back and if you do youll be gone a while thing, right?? it’s a moon visit not a moon stay, right??? i think???? but from my memory people kept bringing up the damn moon so i gotta assume it was a moon trip even if that doesnt make a lot of sense to me. I dunno near the end of the dream is where i forget a lot of it. but yeah so she’s getting asked questions about the moon, I’m getting death glares from the family and sniffing my food for poison, we both look fantastic, she’s kind of getting tired of me hovering around making sure she’s alright which isnt a great sign for the marriage but yknow what it’s been a long day no reason to read too far into it.

Eventually, I take a little smoke break because she seems like shes getting overwhelmed by me being there, and I call a different ex of mine (one who i actually talk to in real life as opposed to dream-wife-ex who i havent spoken to irl in like four years minimum) to complain about the Hammers because hahahaaaa they never got to do the ceremonyyyy so i wasnt sworn to secrecy about their boooooook naa naa na boo boo.

And that’s the whole saga. i don’t remember what happened after that but i think i woke up pretty soon after. weird fucking dream.

but yeah if any fancy dream interpreters wanna tell me what the fuck any of THAT means do let me know.

[noodlyappendages03]

We had a wonderful night together. DD took me for a spin in his sports car and we picked up burgers and had a sunset picnic in the park. He looked really sexy in his Ray Bans. He took me to a picnic table overlooking the river and we had dinner and talked and laughed over some goofy things. Before that, we had incredible sex. After dinner, he led me to this old oak tree that had a romantic canopy of leaves and proceeded to make out with me under the tree, hidden away from everyone. It was like something out of a romcom movie - just us, covered by a thick canopy of oak leaves under a live oak tree so old all of its branches touched the ground, creating a bubble of foliage. It was just us in this secret bubble, lost in a kiss. We plan to bring a blanket next time so we can go back to our secret spot. 😉 Later, we continued our romantic stroll, holding hands and talking, and at one point we sat on this bench and kissed passionately. We talked about our childhoods and turns out DD had lived in Nairobi, Paris, New York, New Jersey, Wellesley, MA, Houston, Denver, and here. He loves to travel, much like myself.

After dinner, we went back home for some, uh, dessert. The man made me come 6 times. That's a new record. The gummies made us feel so relaxed. DD gazed into my eyes and kissed me so much I could hardly breathe. We curled up on the bed and cuddled. He wanted me to sleep over and we were so comfy nestled in each other's arms, but it was a school night. That date was the most romantic one I've been on in a long time. Maybe the most romantic date I've ever had. No one has ever taken me on a romantic picnic and a walk hand in hand to these picturesque, beautiful places.

He told me wants to get married again, but for the right reasons. He had a shotgun wedding at his ex's insistence. According to him, he gave her everything she wanted. And he really did - left his hometown, bought the house she wanted, had a baby (she wanted kids, he was done but changed his mind for her), and had the wedding she wanted. Turns out he wanted a big fat Jewish wedding with a woman he loves and not a quickie wedding to make an honest woman out of them. He was honest and visibly heartbroken over the whole thing.

I'm down so bad for this man. Trying not to fantasize about marrying him and smashing the glass at the ceremony. 😂 My life has become very Charlotte coded. Also, he's considering leaving the job for not only $, but for me, to avoid potential conflicts of interest so it wouldn't jeopardize my job, yet we could still be together. Imagining the looks on everyone's faces and the clutching of pearls when we hard launch our relationship and I bring him as my date to the holiday party! 😂 The thought of me saying, "This is my boyfriend, DD. You may know him already." They would lose their shit over the big reveal! 😂

I also found out he talks a big game but the recreational drugs he bought were 5 mg gummies. Microdose stuff. The gummies at the CBD shop are stronger than that! Also, the marriage talk is because of his Jewish upbringing. I didn't know that dating was with the intention of marriage in some circles, which is why he was so quick to explain. Jewish men are not like the men from my spiritual background. They are much more egalitarian, which I love. DD also mentioned how it hurt him to hear how I was treated by my boss behind our shared partition. My boss is not as kind to me as his is to him. He wants to defend me so much but knows that would blow our cover.

He is really keeping deep cover when we leave work to avoid suspicion. It's because if DD looks at me, he goes completely gaga and makes serious heart eyes. Someone would be bound to notice. ☺️ He gets a bit shy around me the morning after our nights together, too. It's cute, really. I managed to sneak him a big smile this morning and he smirked, then put on his "all business" face as he walked past so nobody would notice. I told him I had an amazing time on our date last night and said I would love to see that tree again. He said he wanted to as well - it was very nice! 😉 I'm looking forward to our next picnic. I've got it bad...

[oncillabrigade]

Alright, for @beeceit and anyone else curious:

Machatunim is the Yiddish word (and I think also the Hebrew word? My family are only Yiddish speakers) for your kid's parents-in-law. They're sort of like your counterparts on the other side of the wedding party. So if Kon, son of Lex Luthor and Clark Kent, married Tim, son of Bruce Wayne, then Bruce's machatunim would be Lex and Clark, and vice versa. (Well, Bruce is just one person, so technically he'd be their machitin. That's the masculine singular, meaning your kid's father-in-law.)

In Ashkenazi Jewish culture (aka Bruce's heritage on his mom's side), your machatunim and all your child's other in-laws are people you consider part of your family, which I think fits with B saying "I'm still pretending that you wouldn't hurt me this way" (an extremely Jewish parental take imo).

Because machatunim is a Yiddish word, there's no one correct way to spell it in the letters English uses. Yiddish is natively written with the same characters as Hebrew. But don't worry: YIVO is here to help!

YIVO is the Yidisher Visnshaftlekher Institut, which is Yiddish for "Yiddish Scientific Institute," and their mission is to study, celebrate, promote, and preserve Yiddish and Ashkenazi culture generally. They have come up with their own standardized way of writing Yiddish with the Roman alphabet... and a lot of people hate it because it's ugly and unintuitive for English speakers (the majority of YIVO's community).

For instance, how does one pronounce the word" khanike"? The way that I, someone who's been around Yiddish my entire life, would guess you say it is "kuh-nayk? Cha-Nike, like the shoe company/goddess?"

And I would be wrong! It's said Hanukkah. Khanike is how YIVO suggests you spell Hanukkah.

Another example: here's how I would describe saying machatunim to English speakers:

1) Say "macha" like you're combining the word matcha with Mach (as in the unit of speed)

2) Say "tun" with the same u as in "put" (or the double o in took)

3) Say "im" like in "let's get 'im!"

And there you have it! Machatunim = Mach-uh-TUHN-im! Not a perfect spelling, but pretty decent, right?

Meanwhile YIVO spells it makhetunim. Not as bad as khanike, but personally I look at that and think "must be a pharaoh's name," not "ah, yes, this is a word I already know in Yiddish."

So who the hell put YIVO in charge of this?! Well, no one. Jewish culture and religion both reject central authority and encourage the traditions of asking questions and entering into honest debate and discussion over differing points of view. Some Jewish historical communities even required that if a jury were unanimously agreed that someone was guilty of a crime that was punished by death sentence, they should not be found guilty on the principle that if not a single educated, adult Jew in a group has a different opinion, there must be facts missing from the discussion.

All the same, humans gonna human, and people get defensive around practicing a culture that's been under attack for literal millennia. Lots of Jews in the US (and elsewhere, but I'm speaking to my USian experiences) love to play the "I'm less assimilated than you" game and hold knowledge of "correct" Yiddish over each other's heads. YIVO unfortunately plays a role in that. If you're fighting with another Yid about what spelling to use in the synagogue newsletter, the person using the "standardized" spelling invented by and for American Jews is gonna have the edge.

Thus, I'm suggesting that:

1) Bruce, a man who questions everything as a Jew, a detective, and a contrary little shit, would have a BIG problem with YIVO declaring themselves the ultimate authority on Yiddish, and an even bigger one with people who use a well-intentioned cultural institution's attempt to preserve and revive the Yiddish language as a cudgel to attack other members of the Jewish community.

2) Dick got this lecture for the first time (but not the last!) when he was a third grader who wanted to know how to spell "Happy Hanukkah" on a card for his legal guardian... He has still not recovered.

And now, Jewish Batman nerd... AWAY!

Bruce: Connor Kent, the only reason I haven't become your step-father and ground you for your insubordination is because that would make Lex Luthor my in-law somehow, and my heart can't handle that.

Tim: Uh B? Kon and I are-

Bruce: Don't say it. I'm still pretending that you wouldn't hurt me this way

Connor: I feel about 50% offended

Tim: Well, you're 50% Luthor, so that makes sense