#like i hate telling people it but it still feels like *my* name yknow

[ei-mugi]

even though its not even the name i prefer to go by and could be called my deadname every time i see my legal name written or said somewhere i go HUH? THATS ME. my name is common but that doesnt stop me

[bastardlybonkers]

i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one

his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.

ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication

ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)

Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing

I really like both ships, actually!

For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.

Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.

I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.

Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!

But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.

Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS

Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.

And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.

The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.

However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.

I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.

The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.

NOW FOR KABUMISU.

I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.

There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”

I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.

But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..

Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.

I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.

I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.

After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!

[yuukiiqwq]

Dandelions: Sukuna Ryomen x Reader

His heart beats only for you while yours beats for someone else, so he made a wish on a dandelion, hoping it would come true.

Context/Warnings: Fem!Reader, Soft!Sukuna, swearing, unrequited love, flower language, a bit suggestive

Wc: 2.7k

Part 2

It's not like he wanted to fall in love with you. It was actually your fault. You weaseled your way into his life and then his heart. If only you had left him alone, then none of this would have happened. But you were too god damn stubborn to leave him alone. It was all your fault.

It was so stupid how he fell in love with you. Sukuna absolutely hated cliché stuff. And here he is going through the stereotypical cliché plot. He even told you how much he hated it. He remembers telling you how he rather die than read those stupid romance books you like to read. They were full of stupid plot with disgusting mushy feelings. Basically, it's the same thing in every story. He always felt like his ears were going to fall off listening to you talk about those stories. Recently, you started to read this one-shot called Dandelion. Something about a guy having unrequited feelings for a girl for years and the girl liking someone else.

Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Sukuna remembers how he met you. It was a few years ago, back when they were still in school. He was minding his own business and then you fucking popped out of nowhere. He wouldn't tell you but you scared the shit out of him when you suddenly appeared.

"Yknow, smoking is bad for you."

He turned around to see you at the door smiling.

"Y'know, not minding your own fucking business is bad for you," he scoffed. "Get out of here. This is my spot."

You walked up to him and snatched the cigarette away. You tossed it onto the ground and put out the light.

"They can cause many health problems," you say as you crossed your arms. "And I don’t see your name anywhere on this rooftop."

He glared at you– "Listen here, you brat. What I do has absolutely nothing to do with you. So skip along to your friends and go bother them instead."

"What if you are my friend?" You said smugly. Your eyes were shining with mischief. "And since you said to go bother my friends, that's what I'm doing."

"You must think you're so fucking funny," he snarled at you.

You put your hands on your waist– "I am actually very funny."

He took a step towards you and towered over you. "Leave."

You looked up at him with a deadpan expression.

"No."

"Last warning. Leave."

"Make me."

News flash – He wasn’t able to get rid of you. He was unsuccessful no matter what he did.

You decided to bother him every single god damn day. Somehow, you always showed up at the rooftop whenever he was there. You just wouldn't leave him alone, so he decided to ditch the rooftop. To say he failed was something he didn’t want to admit. He didn't fail. He just decided to ignore you. But then you showed up in front of his classroom. You somehow found his classroom.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and quickly tried to leave before you could catch up to him.

Mission escaping the brat– failed.

You were a fast little thing. You immediately caught up to him and were now walking side by side with him. This caused a lot of people in the hallway to stare at both of you. You two were an unexpected duo to see together.

"Sukunaaaaaaa"

Great. You even found out his name. Amazing. Whoever told you his information is dead. He's going to kill them.

"Sukuna, if you keep looking like that, you'll end up being super ugly. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend."

Sukuna turned around to face you– "You trying to pick a fucking figh–"

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence as you stuffed a mochi in his mouth. Where the fuck did that mochi come from?!

He quickly chewed the mochi and swallowed.

"Did you fu–"

"Was it good?" You quickly interrupted. "It's a new flavor that came out recently. A friend gave me some to try."

"I don't car–"

"It was a limited edition sale. My friend camped outside the shop for a whole day just to buy all the stocks."

You continued talking about it, and Sukuna wanted to just smack you. You were so annoying.

"I am going to smack you if you keep talking."

You immediately stopped talking and walking. You looked up at him and grinned mischievously.

"Wow, Sukuna. Didn't know you were kinky like that. It's ok, though! I like it rough, but take me out to dinner first. Bedroom activities can come later~"

This caused him to explode in anger. You were teasing him. He immediately stomped away from you. He could hear you laughing as you tried to catch up to him. Fuck. You were annoying as hell. Sassy and challenging him in every way.

Your eyes were gleaming with mischief. Did you have to say that? Now he wanted to put you in your place. Bend you over under him and–

Oh fuck. Now you implanted a curse in his head. Fucking minx.

After months of you constantly pestering him, he grew used to your presence. He started to enjoy it. Wait, no. He meant he was just tolerating you.

Yeah. That's right. He's just tolerating you.

"Sukuna! Stop!!!"

Sukuna immediately halted– "What's goin–"

"You almost stepped on some dandelions," you say as you knelt down to the floor.

Sukuna felt like he was going to pop a vein. He can't believe you stopped him for a weed. Can you let he walk to a restaurant in peace?! It was fucking Saturday. He should have never allowed you to follow him home back then.

"Are you fucking joking with me right now?" He looked down at you as you pluck the dandelion. "You stopped me for a fucking weed?"

"First of all, it's a flow–"

"It's a fucking weed."

"It's a flower!" You huffed. "And it's a wishing flower! You make a wish and then blow away the seeds!"

"Great, now you've gone crazy. Just the thing I need from you. As if you're not annoying enough."

"I have not gone crazy! People make wishes on dandelions!"

"And do you know if any of them got fulfilled?" He raised his eyebrow at you. "And I'm sure the people you talk of are kids."

"Well um–" You try to think of something to say as a comeback but come up with nothing.

He smiled smugly– "That's what I thought."

"That's not the point!" You quickly shoved a dandelion in front of his face.

"Get that weed away from my face. I'm starving for food, and you're stopping me for a weed."

"Geez, stop being a party pooper," you sulked. "Make a wish! Maybe it will come true and prove you wrong!"

"I am not going to do something so childish," he said as he pushed your hand away.

"I'll buy lunch!"

Sukuna stopped and thought about it for a second before saying– "And dinner."

If he was going to indulge in your childish antics and look like an idiot, he better get something out of it.

You reluctantly agreed, and he snatched the dandelion out of your hands. He made a wish and then blew the dandelion seeds away.

"There. Made my wish. Now I hope your wallet is ready."

"Whatever, you glutton! What did you wish for?"

"None of your fucking business brat."

The two of you spent a lot of time together. You eventually introduced Sukuna to your other friends. Which surprised Sukuna because at this point, with the amount of time you came and bothered him, he believed that your friends were imaginary.

A girl named Shoko Ieiri, who looks like she's sleep deprived. A guy named Suguru Geto, who, in his opinion, looks weird. Why is he smiling like that!? And finally, a guy named Satoru Gojo. He was the worst out of all your friends. He didn't do anything to him, but just looking at him makes Sukuna want to get rid of him. Cut him in half. Sukuna didn't understand exactly why until he looked at you, looking at him.

Although Sukuna personally knew nothing about love, he knew what he saw. He seen enough people do what they do when in love. He heard enough about the stupid love stories you like to read. He can see it in your eyes when you look at your friend. You liked him.

The way your eyes light up whenever he comes toward you. The way your cheeks start to turn red with a small blush. The way you nervously play with your hands. The smile you give whenever you're around him. A smile that can rival the sun. He felt a pain blossom in his chest as he clenched his fist. These are things he has never seen or gotten from you before.

He hated everything that was going on right now. He hated the way you would sneak glances at him when you think no one was looking. The way you lean into his touch. The way you looked at him with pure adoration and love.

He absolutely hated it.

It took a while for Sukuna to understand why he hated Gojo so much. Why just the sight of Gojo annoyed him. And it's all your fault.

He didn't even know when these feelings started. Was it when you guys first met and you stood your ground with him? Was it when you teased him? Was it when you kept bothering him? Was it when you guys would go out for lunch or dinner together? Was it when he took care of you when you were sick? Did he fall for your looks? Your personality? Was it because of the times you've spent together?

Fuck. He was pissed. Here he is, catching those disgusting mushy feelings for you. Something he sweared would have never happened, and he doesn’t even know how it even happened.

"Fucking hell," Sukuna sighs as he run his hand through his hair.

It should be fine, right? He'll just ignore this. Move on like he didn't realize he fell in love with you somewhere along this journey. These feelings won't last anyway. It will disappear soon. You liked someone else, too, so it should be easy to move on. Right?

Fucking wrong. He's never been more wrong in his life.

All of you have graduated and are now doing your own thing. You all meet up regularly to hang out. Although Sukuna made an effort to see you daily as much as possible–

Wait, no. Correction: He sees you daily because he knows you'll do something stupid if he wasn't watching over you. Nothing else, really.

It's not like Sukuna had trouble moving on. He's not dreaming about you daily. He doesn't want you. It's not like that at all. He obviously moved on from you while you still liked Gojo. No point in these feelings since they're a nuisance.

Deep down, even if he ignores it, he knows he still likes you. But it's not like you'll ever look his way like the way you look at Gojo. Unless an opportunity arrives and it just so happens to arrive. That opportunity came knocking at his door, and he isn't going to let it slip away.

After years watching you love someone else, now he is watching you get your heart broken by that same person. Honestly, he never understood why you fell in love with this guy. That guy was a child in a man's body. Like, who even drinks those sugary, coma-inducing drinks??

But here you are smiling through the pain. He saw small tears forming in your eyes before you quickly wiped them away and said there was dust in your eyes. Others may not notice it, but he does. He saw the hurt in your eyes when Gojo told them that he fell in love at first sight with someone.

Great. Now he wants to murder Gojo even more now for hurting you.

However, he can't help but feel happy? Relief? He doesn't know what he felt. He just knew that an opportunity was given. But he isn't going to be a shitty person and confess to you right when you got your heart broken. He'll wait until you heal. If you ever will. After all, he had already kept his feelings to himself for years. What's wrong with waiting a bit more?

He could make you happy. He would give it his god damn all to make you happy. He would never hurt you. He wouldn't make you cry. At least not cry in a sad way. You crying under him, though, is a different story–

He quickly shakes his head to get rid of that thought. He's getting distracted. You got him wrapped around your fingers, and you don't even know it. He couldn't help but sigh. He really is still in love with you.

He watches as you and Geto try to give Gojo advice on how to win over the person he likes.

"You're an idiot," he interrupted.

He stared at Gojo as he said it, but it was meant for you and himself, really. Both of you two are idiots. Both of you have unrequited love, like in those shitty stories you read. He really is living in the stupid cliché plot he hates. And it's all your fault.

A few months have passed since then. He knew you had mostly moved on. He can still see the hurt sometimes, but it's fading. He knew he should make a move soon. After all, if he doesn't, what if someone else approaches you? But he also knows that just because you moved on doesn't mean you'll see him as he sees you. So he's willing to wait for that day. The day you look at him the way he looks at you.

So here he is. Standing in front of a flower shop. Looking extremely out of place. If you told his past self that he fell in love with you and is now trying to pursue you, he can see his past self attempting murder. He really can't believe he's going to order flowers.

He took a few deep breaths and walked in.

The minute he walked in, a florist greets him– "Hello sir! How may we help you today?"

"Can you make me a boutique?"

"Of course, sir! What type of flowers would you like for the boutique?"

He wanted something to convey his feelings and message. He's done some research about flowers and their meaning. Many websites showed different things, but he eventually settled for one.

"I want..."

When he finally finished ordering the flowers, he went home. On his way back home, he noticed a dandelion.

"...it's a wishing flower! You make a wish and then blow away the seeds! ...People make wishes on dandelions!"

He stared at the dandelion for a few minutes before he clicked his tongue. He bent down and plucked it. He then made a wish and blew the seeds away. He didn't know why he did it. It's not like the dandelion would make his wish come true.

"Tsk. Can't believe I did this. It's fucking stupid."

You really made him a god damn softie so it's about fucking time you take responsibility.

A few days later, he asked you to meet him at your usual spot. A place that only the two of you knew. When he arrived with the boutique, you were already there. You were sitting on the bench, looking over the city.

He quietly stared at you for a while. You were so beautiful sitting there. If angels did exist, you'll be one of them. But then again, your personality was more like a devil. You cast a curse on his heart, and honestly, he didn't mind it. You can curse him for his entire lifetime as long as you accept him.

"Hey, brat. Look behind you."

When you heard the sound of his voice, you quickly turned around. You looked at him and smiled until you noticed the boutique in his hand. You gasped as your eyes widened.

Red chrysanthemum and astilbe. I love you and I will be waiting for you.

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

scott street - d. wagner

a/n: i am feeling super normal about my relationship with my dad! and i just need a little comfort right now. reminder that you aren't your parents, and step parents can be either your actual parent or the worst in the world! i would know. warnings: big angst, huge. reader and danny sneak off to fuck, and then again at the end of the fic, domestic abuse, divorced parents, step parents, neglect and trauma, cursing, uhhhh yknow. daddy issues, but i hate that term bc of tiktok, enjoy ! word count: 3.1k summary: he's your danny, even while putting the pieces back together. paring: danny wagner x fiance!gn!reader now playing: scott street - phoebe bridgers "do you feel ashamed/when you hear my name?"

It happened before your mom got remarried. You were back from school on summer vacation, after your stepdad helped you move out for the summer. It had been the end of your freshman year.

For weeks, you tried to convince your dad to help move you out, begging him to be somewhat active in your life. He hadn’t seen you since winter break, and that was only because you had to go over to his house. Because your brother begged you to give him a shot. But this time, he refused to help you move out. You don’t go to college that far from home, but he tells you he wants to save himself the trip if you’re just going to be home a few days later.

You don’t even have to ask your stepdad. He offers.

And this is what makes it not a big deal when he buys a car decal from your campus bookstore. It has your school’s logo, and says the name of your school, with ‘Dad’ next to it. You laugh and talk your whole trip home, and it doesn’t seem that deep. I mean, your dad has neglected you for years, treating you like a toy on a shelf, and you don’t even have to ask your stepdad if you can grab a snack for the trip home.

It’s just easier for you to be around him, and he really acts the way a father should. He isn’t even married to your mom yet, and you feel this great swell of love for this man, knowing that he’d be the one to be there without hesitation.

Your brother manages to convince you to go with him to get dinner with your dad a few days into your trip. In a few days, you’ll have people over. Your extended family, your brothers’ friends, and your friends from high school.

Well, your friend. Sam can’t make it; he’s having a root canal done.

But Danny will be there. Your Danny. Being in college hadn’t been enough to push aside your crush on your best friend. You suspected the summer would probably make that even more difficult. But you hadn’t seen him in a few months, and you missed him desperately. You focus on him to get you through the dinner from hell.

Your dad picks you up from your moms, your stepdad not yet home. You sit awkwardly in the front seat, anxious for a reason you can’t quite put a finger on.

But really, dinner goes sort of well. You push through the awkwardness of it all, and it’s not that bad.

Until he pulls into your driveway to drop you off. He sees the sticker on your stepdad’s car and starts screaming at you.

You scoff, telling him you find it rich that he’s making comments about your mom’s boyfriend when he let his wife absolutely torment you and your brother for years.

Before you can blink, he grabs you by the hair and smashes your face against the dashboard. He’s still screaming at you when you come to about ten seconds later. Your brother is screaming too, telling your dad to stop, and he’s pulling you out of the car. Blood runs down your face, staining a shirt you got from Danny. It makes you start to sob as you run into your house. You hear the slamming of car doors, and your brother follows you quickly, holding your bag and sweatshirt.

Your mom swears she’ll kill him, but you keep crying. You’re too sad to be angry. But you decide right then and there, you’re done with him.

When you go to the ER, they tell you that your nose is broken. They set it back into place and bandage it up, telling you to take it easy for a few days.

When you see Danny a few days later, he’s immediately concerned.

He holds your face gently, asking you what happened. You’re tired of explaining it to everyone.

“My dad. He banged my head into a dashboard a few days ago. Broke it.” You sighed. You see him tense.

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

“You’ll have to get in line.” You tell him. You take a sip of your beer. You move on from the subject quickly, asking how he’s been, what he’s been up to. He tells you that the band he had joined with the Kiszka’s is starting to pick up. You’re thrilled for him.

It’s hard to stay away from your attraction.

The night goes by smoothly, until there’s a knock on your front door. Your mom goes to answer it, and after a few minutes, she calls you over. Your dad stands there. He has a pile of papers in his hands.

“What do you want?” You ask, putting down your drink. He looks past you. Danny leans against the doorway to the hallway. You don’t ask him to leave.

“To give you these. I’m signing over my parental rights.” He tells you. It hurts more than the broken nose. You stay quiet. Inside you, you feel the ghost of your ten-year-old self screaming for her daddy, telling him to take it back. But you take the paper, and see he’s already signed and notarized them. “It’s been a long time coming.” You laugh, biting back tears.

“Fuck you. Get out of my fucking house, I don’t want you here.” You tell him, angry now. You want to yell, because he waited until three weeks before you turned eighteen to do this. It’s an extra punch to the gut.

“No more Christmases, no more birthdays, no more support, other than what’s mandated by the court.”

“Go to hell! You were never there for any of that shit!” You tell him. He just stares. “You broke my nose, if you care.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, but I need to do what’s best for us.”

“Have a good fucking life.” You slam the door in his face. You ignore your mom’s gaze. You ignore Danny’s. You start to cry as you walk quickly through the house, dodging your family members. You make it outside to your backyard, where sobs rack your body. Someone says your name from behind you, and you know who it is.

You let Danny hug you, hold you, as you cry.  You cry for a long time, and he stays just like that, refusing to let you go. When you finally calm down, you’re laying your head on him when you ask him a question, and it breaks his heart into a million little pieces.

“Why doesn’t he want me?”

He just hushes you softly. But, you want an answer. You demand it of him, and he gives you one.

“Because he’s a fucking moron. You’re the best, you’re kind, and gorgeous, and fucking funny. You make me laugh constantly, and for so long you’re going to date men who remind you of him, because you’ll long for his love. But he doesn’t deserve your love. And what he does… That isn’t love. One day you are going to meet someone who never questions why you don’t talk to him, and they will be his exact opposite. You deserve that type of love.” He tells you.

You just look at him for a few minutes. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the pain.

You kiss him. It lasts a few moments, and he kisses back. Then he’s pulling away, mumbling no…

No?

“We can’t. You’re drunk, you’re upset. I won’t kiss you just because you’re sad. I’ll kiss you when the time is right and you’re happy. I’ll kiss you when I know we’re both ready and in love.” He tells you. You feel betrayed. You know, somewhere deep down, that he’s right. That you both deserve a first kiss that isn’t full of angst and drama.

But you’re angry. Angry at your dad. Angry at Danny. Angry at yourself. Angry at God, who you haven’t prayed to since you were nine. You pull away from him, wiping tears that remain on your face.

“I think you should go.” You say softly. He knows you don’t mean it. But he respects your wish.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” He tells you. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He leaves, and for a second time that night, you’re crushed that a man has left you despite telling him to go.

It’s been five years since that day. You’ve graduated college, and you spend most of your days waiting for Danny to get home from the studio or from a tour.

He finally kissed you again when you graduated college, promising to never let you go ever again. Promising to never let any other shit for brains guy hurt you because you wanted to be loved. He promises to hold your hand while you put yourself back together. He never insists on doing it for you, but he always supports you.  

You’ve been in therapy for a long time, and most days, you don’t think about your dad. You have your mom and stepdad. But somedays, it hurts. And it doesn’t hurt you, it hurts that same ten-year old who lives inside you.

But you ignore it. You focus on your career, your life, your boyfriend.

And one day, a few months before your brother’s wedding, he asks you to marry him. You say yes. It seems so natural; you’ve only been dating for just under two years, but you’ve been in love for as long as you can remember.

You love being engaged. You love thinking about him as your future husband. For you, there are few questions about the wedding. You’ll get married in early fall, you’ll have your mom walk you down the aisle, you’ll have red velvet cake, and Josh will sing your first dance song as well as officiate.

All these things seem very natural to you.

They’re not as easily answered as your brother. When his fiancé got pregnant right before your engagement to Danny, he began questioning whether he’d have your dad there. You couldn’t say you didn’t understand it. There were times you considered reaching out. And with a kid on the way, you knew why he would want his dad in his life again.

It doesn’t stop you from booking an emergency session with your therapist when he tells you he’s coming to the wedding.

He won’t be part of the wedding party, and he’ll have no part in any speeches or traditions. He’ll just be there to support your brother and his wife. You’ll barely notice him; Danny reassures you of this time and time again.

The wedding went well. You focus on your brother and his wife, your sister-in-law. You’re so proud of him. Danny watches you the whole time. He thinks about how you’ll look at the alter of your own wedding, and he melts a little at the thought. Your engagement ring looks lovely with the flowers your sister-in-law picked out.

During the cocktail hour, in between the reception and the ceremony, he can barely keep his hands off you. He’s pulling you out of the crowd, kissing you against the walls, telling you how pretty you are. You don’t really think about your dad.

You sneak off with him, and he takes you into a nearby empty room. An employee from the venue almost walks in on the two of you. You can’t stop laughing. You tell him you love him again and again. There’s something about someone so close to you getting married that thrills you in preparation for your own wedding.

You sit with your mom, stepdad, and your sister in law’s immediate family. Danny holds your hand as your sister-in-law’s sister makes her maid of honor speech. You make a speech too, your brother dubbing you his best man, regardless of your gender. Your sister-in-law dances with her dad. Your brother dances with your mom.

Your stepdad asks to dance with you to Goodnight My Angel, by Billy Joel. You oblige. While dancing, you tearfully ask him to dance with you to it at your own wedding. He agrees, happily. The photographer takes a photo of you during the dance.

And that’s the last time during the night that you’re truly sober, and you spend the rest of your night dancing with your mom, and with your fiancé. You love calling him that. You slow dance to your favorite songs, and that night, you decide your first dance song will be a Loggins & Messina song.

You’re getting a drink at the bar when he finally says something to you. Your father. His first words to you are as follows:

“I saw you dancing with him. To that song.” You laugh spitefully.

“With Danny? Yeah, I’m gonna dance with him, he’s my—”

“No. With your stepfather. Why would you disrespect me like that?”

“You left. You abandoned me. You wanted nothing to do with me. You have no right to comment on my relationship with my stepdad.”

He stands up to face you.

“You were disrespectful. Rude. Horrible. Out of control, I couldn’t deal with you!” You glare.

“You’re so full of shit. He was always more of a dad to me than you were.” You can tell he’s ready to hit you, but you feel a hand on your arm from behind. Your head whips to see Danny. Your shoulders slump. You’re immediately calmer. Your other hand goes up to lay on his hand, where his thumb is gently rubbing your forearm. It’s then that your father sees your engagement ring. You go to say something, but he cuts you off.

“Engaged?” You realize he didn’t know.

“Yeah. You remember Danny.” Your fiancé says nothing.

“Of course, I do. You always were in love with him.” It almost makes you smile, the way your dad remembered your crush on him. But you just as quickly remember when he called you a slut for having two boyfriends in a year. You just as quickly remember him leaving you and your brother for hours, days, at home with your stepmom who refused to let you eat any food. You just as quickly remember the pain from the broken nose, and the worse pain of him showing up at your door to sign away his parental rights.

“Yeah. I always was.” You grab your drink and take Danny’s hand properly now. “Have a good night.” You tell him, and you lead Danny away from him, leaving your father at the bar, where he was always meant to end up.

Danny says your name, asking you softly, “Are you okay?” You let out a shaky breath, taking a sip of your drink. Tears brim your eyes.

“I love you, Danny.” You tell him weakly. He can tell that that’s a no. He guides you away from the party, this time to not make love with you, but to comfort you. Tears run down your face as you lean against the wall in the hallway, feeling the thump-thump of the music from the party. He frowns and wipes your tears, shaking his head. “I thought seeing him wouldn’t hurt anymore.” You say quietly.

Sometimes the child that yearns for your father slips out. You can’t keep them inside in this moment.

“I know, baby.” He says gently. “…Do you want to talk to him more after this? Invite him to the wedding?” He isn’t coercing you, isn’t forcing you to. He’s only laying out your options.

“No.” you tell him. “I don’t need him. I’ve got you. I’ve got mom. I have Mark, and my father be damned, I have a fucking dad. Not that asshole. I have a dad, and it isn’t him.” You tell him. Danny nods.

“You have grown into an amazing young adult. I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I am so proud of you. You’ve grown so much, and you’ve made yourself a damn good life.” He tells you.

“Damn good.” You confirm, your voice breaking.

“Damn good. You’re right. He’s not your dad. Dads don’t do the things he’s done to you. He might be your father, but he isn’t your dad. And it’s okay to miss him, but you have an amazing life without him. And we’re gonna get married. And we’re never going to make his mistakes. You are nothing like him. We’ll get hitched, and have sex every night, and we’ll die in our nineties after a long life of Rock n Roll, Sex, and love. We’ll dance to Loggins and Messina at your wedding, our kids will call Patrick ‘pop’ and he’ll never have a second of your life.” He tells you. You kiss him gently, unable to form the words to tell him how much that means to you. When he stops kissing you, just for a second, he tells you, “We’ll make a new home, with just the two of us. We’ll host holidays, and you’ll never cry on Christmas again.” He tells you.

His words heal something in you. He won’t let you be hurt by your father ever again. The war is over, and now you’ll try to heal, try to move on.

Danny wipes your tears and asks you to come dance with him. You oblige. You dance through the night and focus on your future.

And it’s just as your fiancé describes. You get married. You dance to ‘A Love Song’ by Loggins and Messina, sung by your officiant, Josh.

Sam is Danny’s best man, and your brother is your maid of honor.

You dance with your stepdad to that Billy Joel song.

On Christmases, Danny kisses you under the mistletoe and holds you close.

He’s nothing but romantic and good to you.

On Father’s Day, a particularly hard holiday for you, he brings you home a cake before you go out for dinner with your mom, stepdad, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew.

It’s white, and has small hearts all over it, and in red frosting, it reads, ‘You can’t choose your father, but you can choose your daddy.’ It makes you laugh, and you ruin your hair and ruffle your clothes making love before you leave for dinner.

That night before he goes to bed, he kisses you and tells you that he loves you. That he can’t wait to live the rest of his life with you.

It takes you a long time to fall asleep, thinking about your dad, your Danny, and your stepdad. You wonder if you’ll ever have the courage to have children, out of fear of fucking them up like your dad did with you. You wonder if Danny and you really will live a long, happy, sexually vast life. You realize he is your soulmate, and that he’ll always be your husband.

You decide you’ll be alright.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 30 SEASON FINALE REACTION (SPOILERS)

OH MY GOD IM IN CLASS OK HERE WE GO READING THE TRANSCRIPT I'LL LISTEN LATER

i hate the episode name btw

SAM YOU FUCKING IDIOT SHE'S NOT ANGRY YOU'RE IN DANGER YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER AAAAAAAA YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED (also the transcript saying he sounds "ill" i don't like that)

"alice means well but she doesnt really understand" oi celia what do you mean she doesn't understand she got attacked by the same thing sam did

"my head is killing me" i dont think this is a normal headache ALSO IM SO SUSPICIOUS DONT TAKE THE PILLS SAMAMA KHALID COME ON

"all goes to plan" WHAT CELIA WHAT (they say like they're surprised that she's sus)

"ticket officer, not paid enough for this" NONE OF US ARE BUDDY

oh jesus christ colin is gonna end up dead isnt he. and possibly teddy too. both of them acted the same way based on alice saying she was busy

waiy. colin is in the office, but lena and gwen are in the office too?? also lena is gonna end up dead and gwen is gonna feel guilty isn't she

OH NEVER MIND. GWEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET FUCKED. I REALLY HOPE LENA GETS TO GO HOME TO HER SPOUSE AND GOES "yeah fuck THAT I'm glad I'm out of there"

wait they KNOW it was one the train??? wtf???? and why is celia so calm about this

"what unit did you say it was?" "Seventeen-" SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE-sorry I'm coping with jeonghan's enlistment date okay

CELIA WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALL IT A HUNCH. GIRL ARE YOU SERVING THE EYE?????

"we want your teeth" JARED HOPWORTH??? IS THAT YOU????

now who the FUCK is this custodian hold on checking the VA list-ok nvm not breekon or hope i was wondering bc. yknow. custodian. maybe a reference

this custodian is so real he's like "yeah no this ain't any of my business you do you boo"

LMFAOOO THE TAXI DRIVER THINKING SAM IS CHEATING ON ALICE WITH CELIA AND THAT SHE'S GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH

THE CUSTODIAN JUST YELLING "SHUT UP" IS TAKING ME OUT OH MY GOD AND THE KNOCKING ACTUALLY STOPS

get archivisted bro

oooo okay so hilltop centre got a bloody history. but also who is this "he" that hired the custodian? also the fact that he refuses to come in the daytime is very interesting because usually people would find it less creepy at daytime but he seems to be more comfortable at night?? which is giving the dark but ok

poeple ARRIVED???? NO WAY THEY CONFIRMING THE CRACK AT HILLTOP ROAD CONNECTS HERE ALONG WITH MOST PROBABLY OTHER UNIVERSES

"why the outfit was so mismatched, why the clothes were been pinned in place" okay this is kind of reminded me of the stranger for no particular reason????

OH THE FUCKING OWNER DIED OKAY

SORRY AS HE TURNS TO CONCRETE?????? WHAT????

a precipice????? sorry is there a whole-ass different world??? also celia wtf do you mean "almost"??? yeah sam its about time you asked her more questions

Sam's headache is not comforting me i don't think its normal WOOOOOO CONFIRMATION THE UNIVERSE-JUMPER CELIA

ahhh there it is. she was using him as a balance because she hoped getting him close enough to the magnus institute would make him enough a balance.

IS THE ARCHIVIST STOPPING HER???? ALSO SAM WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU JUST TELLING HER TO DO IT????

god sam you fucking idiot i love you. she betrayed you and lied to you and yet you still fought the archivist for her. also alice coming here worries me because i think she has a close connection to the magnus institute too and she might get sacrificed

NOT AGAIN???? OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS DIE IN HILLTOP ROAD?????

gwen you're gonna get yourself and everyone killed oh my god

...see i dont know if i trust that now. i know celia hesitated but who's to say she wouldn't take the opportunity to push sam? or even not done anything when she had the chance to save him? i mean...i guess she did say "even though..."

MAN. SAM. I KNEW YOU WERE PROBABLY GONNA DIE FIRST BUT DAMN. STUPID MAN. I LOVE YOU.

i dont think sam is dead i mean celia fell through the rift and lived, who's to say sam couldn't do the same? the question is, which universe did he fall into? and will celia tell alice the truth about what she was planning?

mainly, though, i need to know whats going on with colin because WHAT DID HE MEAN WITH FR3DD1 WHAT HAPPENED. AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TEDDY.

[theink-stainedfolk]

Writer Questionnaire Tag

Thank you @drchenquill @the-golden-comet and @paeliae-occasionally for the tag

how long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? a fast and loose estimate is fine!

It's been at least 6 months or more I believe.

what led you to create it?

I actually had it from before but i never really posted anything. The thought that there might be people willing to read my works more than my own family and friends led me to create it. I was done shying away.

what's your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

I absolutely adore the supportive and inclusive nature of the writeblr community! It's a space where writers from diverse backgrounds and genres come together to share their passion for storytelling. I love how everyone encourages and uplifts each other, offering constructive feedback and celebrating each other's successes. The community's enthusiasm is infectious, and it motivates me to keep writing and improving my craft. I also appreciate the wealth of resources and knowledge shared within the community, from writing tips and prompts to editing advice and publishing insights. It's amazing to see how writers willingly share their expertise and experiences to help others grow. Most of all, I cherish the sense of belonging and connection that comes with being part of this community. Writeblr feels like a virtual writing group, where we can discuss our projects, share our struggles, and rejoice in our triumphs together

what's one thing you'd like your mutuals to know about you?

That i really love talking about my WIPs and OCs aand everything related to my story. I feel happy, seen and appreciated. If you like anything i woorte, please don't hesitate to ask or just tell me how you feel.

is there anything you'd like to see more of on your dash?

Uh..memes? More aisan drama related things? More HSR stuff everything about my interests etc.

which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Very wrong question lol. I've been going back and forth between my WIPs. But the most recent one I've done, or am thinking about is The Masque of Murder .

how long have you been working on them?

Hahaha.... Since months, years and i still haven't even written a chapter for some of them. I hate myself for that. But since The Masque of Murder is recent, it's been a week or so.

do you remember what inspired them/ what got you started?

Yeah i remember reading a manhwa which had this crazy but mad genius doctor as a minor villan. It got me thinking that it was a waste of his abilities and damn good looks and he would have been surely protected by the plot armour had he been the main character instead. This forced me into making it lol.

how much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

🎵Every hour, every minute, every second. And night after night, I'll thinking 'bout you right, 7 days a week.🎶

name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who've never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you'd like!

Uh... every single one of them? I created everyone, if that's what you're asking haha.. I'm not sure if i understand it correctly but i created everyone on my own. I'll mention the one that comes to my mind first then.

Side character- Emrys from In The Silence, Strength

Protagonist- Dr. Phineas Abel Thorncroft from The Masque Of Murder

Antagonist- Dante from Beyond The Pages (but he is also the protagonist)

And i can't really remember the last two.

when someone asks the dreaded, "what do you write about," question, what do you usually say?

Yknow, fantasy stuff with magic and murder mystery with actual murder and blood and stuff and all that hahah none of the stuffs that you like or understand or are interested in right? Hahah it totally doesn't have queer peoples. Just fictional stuff you don't wanna know hahaha.

Deadass.

who's the most unhinged?

Dr. Phineas Abel Thorncroft (from The Masque Of Murder), Acheron (from Legacy of Creation), Dante (from Beyond The Pages) and Eitenne Lumiere( from Wicked Games, Wicked Fates) from what i remember .

who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Vesperine, Cleo, Pareen

do you ever cringe at them?

Hahaha... sometimes..

how much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever "write themselves," refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn't expect? to what degree? are some less cooperative than others?

I feel like i have 70% control and 30% is something they do it themselves because i give them the freedom to do so. Because that is the story of my character and not of me, even if I am the one who wrote it. Sometimes the decision i make for them is not what they'd do.

do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Yes i absolutely love it please ask. Doesn't matter how just ask♡♡♡

what makes you want to follow another writeblr account? do you follow 'em as you see 'em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I take time scoping out the blog to make sure i align with it's content. And i follow based on both, wips and vibes but mostly vibes.

what makes you decide against following?

If i don't align with the content or i don't fond the story interesting, i don't follow.

do you interact with non-mutual often?

Not often but i do.

do your mutuals' characters occupy space in your noodle?

There are so so many characters of my mutuals that i love love loveee but my memory rn isn't functioning at its best so i will just write whom i can remember rn.

The Madness, the lady and that guy from Foliè written by @drchenquill, my friend. Whose writing always leaves me with surprises and cliffhangers. She supports me so much i almost feel guilty 💕💕💕💕 i love you so much💖💖💖

@paeliae-occasionally Xanren, Marsh and Paeliae. I love their stories it captivated me. I hope you can tag me on their journey 👍, @cssnder, my first mutual whom i talked with so much courage that i almost didn't open tumblr the next day due to embarrassment and nervousness. Her works are like renaissance paintings, truly mesmerizing and beautiful. Thus Saith The Lord is truly a work of art and i hope i get to read it soon.😭 And also, @roarintheheavens , my new friend, I'm so happy. Vron Carson, he is very interesting and i can't wait to know more about him. And of course, @the-golden-comet, I'd very much like to read more about peter hart.

Just because i didn't mention everyone doesn't mean i don't appreciate your works, it's just that i haven't read them yet. I hope you all can send it to me. I'll definitely read it.

I'll tag @finickyfelix @willtheweaver @ascotwriting @agirlandherquill @leahnardo-da-veggie @illarian-rambling @winglesswriter @graveyardshift111

[fortemelody]

there are a couple universally hated sonic characters (for example chris thorndyke). but do you know who i think deserves to be shitted on more? DULCY. IM SORRY BUT SHE ANNOYS THE SHIT OUTTA ME. LIKE ESPECIALLY BECUS THEY JUST RANDOMLY ADDED HER TO S2 OF SATAM?? AND HER RUNNING GAG WITH HER MOM IS NOT FUNNY TO ME LIKE GIRL STFU

she got a whole episode named after her too 💀 i do kinda appreciate that they at least attempted to give her a backstory and the concept was sorta interesting but it felt like too little too late yknow

but the weirdest part is that this is coming from someone who LOVES antoine. he is legit my 5th fav character in the whole franchise. they literally both just serve as comic relief characters but idk antoine is just so much better to me. i think a lot of it is his design and VA tbh. but lowkey they did my man dirty later on in S2 becus the two episodes that mainly focused on him were the “odd couple/robbecca”, in which his house gets invaded by sonic and then he gets chased by a horny ass robot. this then lead to him just screaming the whole time (also his animation style change wasn’t my cup of tea either). this is like the equivalent to a squidward torture episode LET MY MAN CATCH A BREAK 😞

okay anyways back to dulcy sorry this just turned into an antoine ramble

but yeah i feel like she is there to just help the freedom fighters get to their destination faster and be a “new type” of comedic relief, one that isn’t really driven from fear like in antoine’s case. i also will admit that she’s probably more useful than antoine seeing as though he can’t fly but legit i still could not give two fucks about her. maybe it’s the lack of a personality and the randomness factor idk. and this is a more serious topic but istg if people think i’m hating on her just becus she’s a woman like the whole lanolin situation imma be so upset. i am afab myself and my first fav character is amy so like don’t even try to tell me that 😭 i would never stoop so low to say some of the awful things people say on twitter about sonic women (…or just women in general sometimes).

ALSO i’m solely referring to dulcy in SATAM, not the archie comics. based on videos i watched i remember she had a pretty big story arc and then was later rebooted as a normal sized mobian. i’m sure she’s much more bearable there cus i trust ian flynn but i haven’t actually read those for myself. double also i still have like 4 episodes left of SATAM to finish so if she possibly can somehow get better in the span of 4 episodes than ig i’m wrong

okay rant over basically fuck that dragon i hate her with a burning passion

[ignoreme07]

Review/Analysis of Percy Jackson TV Show So Far. Pt. 2:

SPOILERS

Episode Two:

What I like/love:

ANNABETH OMG OMG OMG SHE'S HERE

Grover my precious child <3

Mr. D. Just Mr. D. Also does not help he's played by one of my favourite actors who played one of my all-time favourite characters (aka Pimento). He's an ass, but a goofy ass. Like after watching the Insta preview of his convo with Percy, I knew he was going to be an ass about it, but I didn't expect him to say he was Percy's dad to get alcohol ToT.

Percy's sass: 100000/10

Walker's acting deserves an award.

Luke just Luke. The poor man sounds more sad than angry (Which honestly makes the finale 10x better if you think about it since it'll feel more like a twist for people who don't know)

Luke just Luke because he's so charismatic.

Percy learning archery and being in the forges on the comedy scale is 1000000000000/10.

Chris and Luke being besties and being close on-screen and Chris just getting more screen time. Do you guys think he's still unclaimed??? (If so... A+ parenting Lin, no wonder your son/s hates you)

Percy and Annabeth

'She's my little sister'- YESSSSSSSSSS

Luke being the one to tell Percy bout Thalia because it just makes sense cause yknow. But also it helps Luke's character as well.

Totally not biased because I love the Diary of Luke Castellan.

Clarisse (That's all I have to say)

THE PORTRAYAL OF ARES KIDS IN THE SHOW>>>>. Like we were always told how scary they were, but like in the dumb jock, bully way. I'm probs just nitpicking but I love how Chris literally says that Clarisse spends the first few hours hunting in the woods (Guerilla warfare tactics anyone?). Idk why but I think that just shows how dangerous the Ares kids are. Like the Athena kids are always hyped and everything for the strategic warfare, but cmon there HAD to be a reason why everyone was so worried bout the Ares kids joining the Battle of Manhatten. Like it had to be more than they were kids of the War god. (Hello the Spartans worshipped Ares and were one of the greatest warriors in history, they were just given a bad rep due to the Athenians writing down history and the myths)

Also, what's gonna happen with Chris and Clarisse???

Tots not biased since I have a weird love for Ares (fav god in the myths) and his kids

The gods (aka Mr. D) showing why they are in fact assholes.

Percy in capture the flag.

The whole mentality of 'if I get glory my absentee parent will notice me' (Honestly I see how people were converted to stick the middle finger at the gods and joined Kronos)

Percy being mini Luke.

Annabeth figuring out Percy was the son of Poseidon.

The argument between Percy and Mr. D about the quest.

YESSS PERCY DEFEND YOUR MOM (the gods do not in fact care for mortals)

Grover telling Percy about what happened to Sally.

Percy being anti-gods

Neutral

Clarisse being a more modern bully. Kinda works I guess. Though why do they think he's being a fake? Like just keep it being an initiation ritual, still works and teenagers will do that.

Criticism

They shouldn't have removed the 'Names have power thing for the gods' specifically since it was a belief that the ancient Greeks had especially for Underworld deities.

[beepsalotl]

crying ugh i love these characters so much and i hate the world so much except i dont and i just wish i could have what these characters had and be in a place that isnt like this one

im gonna cry ugh i dont know why i care so much, theyre not even real. but, like, in my head, they are, yknow? as in, they exist in the space i built for rhem as i read the series and learned about them and their world

fun fact, they were the first two characters whose books (each is the continuation of the story from a different third-person-limited perspective) had their names in the title. black hardcover w green embellishments for moonwatcher, a nightwing. white hardcover w blue for winter, an icewing. books six and seven, respectively. all the symbolism was there before you even open the goddamn books. yin and yang. AND YET.

and also they had two different histories and their tribes had a stale feud for thousands of years bc of some asshole jerkface. moon knew nothing about it bc she was raised in the rainforest practically by herself bc her mom had to sneak away from the shitty volcanic island the nightwings lived on to hide from the historic nightmare jerkface. winter knew all about it (or he THOUGHT he did bc he only knew the icewing side) bc he grew up surrounded by heirarchy and laws and rules and structure. moon didn’t grow up with the resentment at all, which allowed her a chance to see the truth.

she had to be self-sufficient. he had structure to lean on, even if it made him narrow-minded and nearly hard-hearted. he had to break through that, and she learned how to have patience. i feel like moon herself is sorely underdeveloped but i take the hints i can get and i feel that she learned how to forgive him by understanding who he was through his thoughts and, after skyfire, remembering that he was different inside than out and was still struggling.

when they were together, he was trying to be better and learn and he was kinder and softer even though he struggled to always be like that, and she was so patient with him.

heartbroken enraged screaming ensues, really.

like the rey and ben situation at the end of tros.

having him die in the end undermines everything the skywalker legacy stood for and all the development he had and it still breaks my heart bc he proved people can make bad, horrible choices and can survive abuse and break through it and change and be better and be loved. and then he DIED instead of getting his happy ending, which practically is what happened to winter bc the author basically said fuck you go live in the mountains doing work for peace and studying scavengers (which i know is his passion, but….) and your friends will hardly visit or write and they wont tell you the truth about how they defeated the bad guy WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR HELP EVEN THOUGH YOURE MORE THAN CAPABLE and they wont trust you and youll be alone forever.

my list of pairings and characters that i’m unreasonably heartbroken over:

ben and rey, winter and moon, catra and adora, draco and harry, zuko and katara.

catradora got together, ik, but their story still breaks my heart no matter how much hope it also gives me.

anyway, there’s no way for me to end this bc i dont even know what im feeling. it’s been years but winterwatcher’s fate still tears me up inside with the way it dashed my dreams of seeing a character like winter learn to let himself be loved.

i want to learn to let myself be loved, but i dont know how.

these characters are my attempts at finding myself out in the world and seeing if it’s possible. i dont attach my self-worth to them, but it hurts to see them fail to find romantic love where i saw it. idk

— a quick journal entry i wrote in my notes app years ago, as an emotional 16 year old with identity issues and way too much alone time on my hands

[lokisis]

@bleedingbonemarrow

Aha I hate not being able to edit asks (killing killing)

ANYWAY.

I imagine he's hard to get through to. I see a lot of myself in his personality, especially back in highschool, so I can pretty accurately describe what's up in his mind.

He hates himself. Thoroughly. Cannot stand himself. Every time he looks in the mirror, he can't recognize his own face. He's too much, he's not enough, he's nothing, he'll never be Right. Any compliment slides off of him like water. He doesn't believe you. He disassociates often. His reality is warped, in his mind, to always be against him.

So naturally, he smiles it away. He pretends he's better than everyone else. Because he's terrified of telling anyone he's... not. Telling anyone that he's trapped in his own "skin" and he hates it.

Yknow that Springtrap frame where he's tearing apart his own head? Yeah Spamton would try it, at least once.

He's a failure in a city that only cares about success. About how much you're worth. He definitely has trauma from his Addison days, as well as when he was bullied in the mansion. His friends and possibly family left him. He's uh. Really lonely.

He thinks kindness is a weakness to exploit. To manipulate. Because that's what happened to him. He isn't mean per se, but he doesn't go out of his way to be nice either. Not to mention the one person he put his trust into kinda fuckin disappeared. He isn't exactly jumping at an opportunity to "make friends"

He's clinging to his old fame like a fucking lifeline. Because acknowledging himself Now would break him. A puppet tied up in strings. He's not even in control of his own life. He values choices so much, he can't help giving them out like candy. "Choose this thing, it's your choice I won't force you, but choose it."

All that being said, he's also just. Happy to have fun, I think. I read a fic where he constantly tries to jumpscare Reader when they visit. I love that. The idea of him playing pranks on.. well, his would be friends, is really cute to me. I doubt he would do something as extreme as dunking them in acid or anything, but tripping them or scaring them feels like something he would do.

An important thing ppl tend to miss is that he wants people to Suffer, but not to Die. He gets mad in snow grave because you ruined the fun. You killed everyone And you're stealing the fountain? What's he supposed to do afterwards?!? He wants to rule the city, not destroy it.

I feel like, after peeling away his walls, he's generally a silly guy. And seriously loyal. I mean, he's Still protecting Mike's name, even after supposedly Years of not seeing him. He's ride or die for anyone he cares about. And those people get to see him be a bit goofier.

There's like. 7 million more things I want to say but I am. Tired of typing on my phone 👍

[staggersz]

I just started school again this week from fall break and omg 😭 HORRIBLE I TELL U HORRIBLE. but, it got me thinking, what do u think the tbp boys opinions r on school?

AAAA i’m sorry about school! school literally sucks so bad 😭

but omg i love this question .

I’m just gonna talk about how their opinions on school are after the basement and how their opinions changed (my tumblr is basically a page for my AU now isnt it 😞)

Finney pretty much dislikes school before and after; he likes keeping his grades good but he just hates going because of bullies and the stares he gets after the basement. It makes him feel worse. He likes science the most. He gets annoyed when people call him names but most of the time he doesn’t mind because he just wants to get through school. He goes to the counselor only sometimes.

Robin hates school, and he probably always will. I like to think he has good or at least nice grades in all of his classes except math, and he’s barely passing science. He has dyscalculia, so he feels stupid when it comes to numbers but is afraid to ask for help from anyone besides Finney. He’s in the counselor’s office a lot talking about his thoughts, emotions and personal issues. Robin deals with bullying a bit but of course he isn’t sitting by and taking it. Sometimes stuff is written on his locker also.

Bruce used to love school but now he’s like, indifferent leaning towards disliking it. He still has amazing grades and is probably on high honor roll, but he feels out of place now. He feels like he’s popular but not the way he wants to be. He thinks he missed a lot since he wasn’t there for the beginning of the year, plus he just feels out of place in his usual friend group now. Sometimes he just gets irritated and stays alone. He spaces out in school a lot, which leads to a lot of counselor appointments that he himself didn’t schedule.

Vance hates school more than anything. He barely has friends besides yknow, the others that were in the basement but now he just feels completely outcasted. He was given a chance to move up a grade so he took it, so he’s a freshman when he goes back to school. He had a lot of testing to do though, which luckily he passed. Vance is pretty much on a hair’s trigger now. If someone says ANYTHING about his experiences or the other’s experiences, there’s a high chance he’s gonna come out of that with a suspension or a detention. He manages to keep okay grades though.

Billy liked school kind of. He’s kinda introverted but when he was younger he would hang out with Robin and Finney at school, so it kind of got different when he went missing. He had nice grades and he was kind of social.

Griffin disliked school. He was never talked to and he sat alone every class, every year. If he was in a group assignment, he usually asked the teacher if he could work by himself. But he’s a good kid and had good grades.

Griffin and Billy come as a package deal with a lot of things but especially school after the basement events. They’re pretty much glued together. They both dislike school a lot because of bullies. They have a lot of classes together because of their separation anxiety, which the school knows about. Billy is really sad when he graduates 8th grade and is alone without Griffin for a year. They’re in the counselor’s office a lot or have a teaching assistant take them out of their classes for a bit. It’s not because they want to talk to them and their problems, but to just let them calm down and work in an environment where they aren’t pressured and can just work with each other.

thats my opinions 😇

[wildernezz]

Metal Lords: movie review

summary of plot (no spoilers): a dorky awkward kid named Kevin is friends with this wannabe metalhead named Hunter. they're starting a band together but because of their flaws, their progress fumbles a bit. however, after finding out about their schools Battle of the Bands, they start working to prepare for the contest. as they improve their skills, they also improve their social lives and their own personalities

general thoughts: I GENUINELY LOVED THIS MOVIE SM????? god if youre into movies about a buncha flawed misfit friends then this is definitely a movie i'd recommend. the first few bits are a little awkward because you can kinda feel that the actors are still getting into their roles, but sticking it to the end is ABSOLUTELY worth it. all of the characters were so lovable and it genuinely filled that "i wanna see a movie about people just being people" hole in my heart. i still have no idea how to describe those kind of movies, but i feel like if yknow then youll know.

movies "Metal Lords" reminds me of: Theater Camp, I Used To Be Famous, School of Rock, Love Simon

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT WEEWOOWEEWOO:

in depth but also scattered thoughts bc i cant organize for shit:

I LOVE THE SILLIES SM???? THEYRE ALL MY FAVORITE SILLIES???????? LITERALLY THE ONLY CHARACTER I HATED WAS SKIP (HUNTER'S BULLY), EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO SILLY????? ofc theyre all flawed and there were parts in the movie (especially with hunter) that made me disappointed to see, but the character progression was so satisfying and i loved seeing them all grow. it was genuinely so silly to me i love them all sm

EMILY AND KEVIN WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER???? AND I HONESTLY LOVED EMILY SM??????? JUST IN GENERAL??? LOVED KEVIN TOO BUT MAN I THINK EMILY IS MY FAVORITE. i loved all of her moments sm???? she has a lotta flaws but theyre honestly all reasonable and understandable to me so i kinda just forgive her for them anyways. i also just really love how sweet kevin is to her. like ofc he's not a perfect boyfriend and makes some slipups, but he genuinely really cares about her and i think it's so cute to watch.

more about me loving emily: I LOVED THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT FORGIVE HUNTER RIGHT AWAY. LIKE IT WOULDVE BEEN COOL TO SEE, BUT THE PAYOFF AT THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS WAS EVEN BETTER. SPEAKING OF WHICH, SHE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING COOLIN THAT SCENE??????? SHE WAS COOL AS FUCK BEFORE THAT (u cannot tell me her cello playing wasnt the most badass thing out there) AND THEN THEFUCKING CCONNNCERRTTT??? IM CRYING I LOVE HER SOMUCCHHCH

i also really loved hunter. like there was a lotta scenes where i wanted somebody to punch him in the face, but he was honestly still lovable even throughout those scenes and he started improving a lot near the end, which was really nice to see. he obviously wasn't completely redeemable since there were still a lot of things he could've done better, but i feel like the fact that he didn't completely become perfect is what made me love his character a lot more. it felt really real to me. he isn't perfect, but he genuinely wants to make up for the shit he's pulled and he's absolutely trying to show it, and isn't that what living's all about anyways? either way, we love hunter in this household <3333

KEVIN'S TIME TO SHINE: that was a lie, i dont have much to say on kevin LMFAO. i absolutely loved seeing him on screen and i just love Jaeden Martell in general, but despite that, there's not really a lot for me to say about him. i just think he's neat. that's enough for me <3333 (emily shouldve been my girlfriend tho smh how dare he /j)

ALSO FUCKING CLAY???? HES SUCH A SILLY GUY. PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS FOR MOVIES IN GENERAL???? HES SUCH A SWEET LITTLE GUY AND I LOVED SEEING HIM SM. KINDA WISH I SAW MORE OF HIM BC OF IT. EITHER WAY, WE LOVE CLAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD AS WELL <333333

i think thats all i have to say for this movie. either way, PLEAASEE check it out. i swear itll be worth it because the characters honestly all so adorable and so silly goofy goober. we love the silly metal lords here <33333

[fionajames]

OR IF MY PREVIOUS REQUEST IS TOO HARD, (hello again btw) what if Ahsoka never left the order? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤨🤨🤨

Like, she accepted the council’s invitation back into the Jedi. Did she still meet Bo-Katan and go to Mandalore?

This was a last minute idea that popped into my brain, and I’d like to see your thoughts on this. Ngl, this would be an actual amazing fic, and if anyone could pull it off, it’s you.

Sincerely, Sha 🫡

PS: Your work is amazing 🤩

hello sha!!!!!!!! and hello to everyone else!!!

i rlly love this idea and please if you want a part two request it, i apologise that this is so short.

(edit: I JUST POSTED THIS LIKE 2 MINS AGO AND I REALISED I FORGOT SMTH. YEAH, SO, YKNOW HOW I WAS DOING A 30 DAY WRITING THING AND ON DAY 2 STOPPED POSTING? MHM, WE'RE GONNA PRETEND THAT DIDNT HAPPEN. THIS IS DAY 2. THE PROMPT IS 'Accusation' AND THE ACCUSATION IS NOT IN THIS BUT RELVENT CAUSE YK YK YK HER TRIAL SO YEAH)

Ahsoka watched as the sun set in front of her, feet dangling off the edge of the Jedi Temple wall. Her Padawan braid - still gripped tightly in her hand - felt heavy with thoughts of doubt. Had she made the right choice by staying?

Coruscant had never looked more intense than it had whilst she was on the run, and she’d never experienced the lower levels like that before. Her heart cried for the small wisps of freedom she’d felt while running through the streets, unbound by the ties of the Jedi - free at last. She hated that she’d liked it so much - the taste of freedom, the taste of a life where she wasn’t a Padawan.

But, how could she leave her family? She couldn’t.

Ahsoka stood up as she pocketed her Padawan braid, not quite ready to put it back on. She strolled to Anakin’s room quickly, knocking on his door thrice. He opened it immediately and gave her a grin.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk,” she told him as they silently and in-sync linked their comms just-in-case. “Need some air.”

“Alright, Snips,” he told her fondly. Anakin spotted the missing Padawan braid but didn’t say anything. “Have fun, please come back.”

Ahsoka nodded, not smiling as she left. She made her way through the Temple quickly, breathing in huge gulps of air as she did. With no destination in mind, Ahsoka set off into the streets of Coruscant.

                                          -

It had been months since the Trial, and Ahsoka still wasn’t fully herself again. Anakin was worried, and Obi-Wan was sorrowed. Rex hadn’t left her side. Except, for when she went on her walks.

Ahsoka had made it a regular thing to go on a walk through Coruscant when she was home, and she was quickly learning her way around. Today, she was bounding from house to house just below the surface, laughing as her speed made her lekku flow in the wind.

She landed safely on a platform, dangling her feet over the edge to watch the traffic. Someone walked up beside her and through the Force, Ahsoka could feel their good-intentions. She didn’t move.

“Rather beautiful, isn’t it?” A sort-of-familiar voice spoke up and Ahsoka turned to see Bo-Katan sitting beside her. “My home planet was.”

“What happened to it?” Ahsoka asked, gazing back at the mesmerising lights and darkening sky. Before the bombing, she would’ve been alert and perhaps hostile at the return of the Mandalorian, now, she was just calm. She’d grown a lot in maturity, and she could tell it scared Anakin.

“A Sith has taken over Mandalore, and has enslaved my people,” Bo-Katan told her mournfully - yet with her voice un-shaking and strong. “He killed their ruler - my sister.”

Ahsoka turned to her with a face of soft sorrow and sympathy. “I’m deeply sorry for your loss,” she told the woman whose eyes squinted ever-so-slightly in surprise.

“I want you to help me,” Bo-Katan told her firmly. “I’ve seen you, you’re courageous and smart. My people need help.”

“Who is this Sith you speak of?” Ahsoka asked, crossing her arms. 

“His name is Maul.”

Ahsoka froze as a ripple of shock went up her spine. She’d heard of him of course - the Sith that had killed Obi-Wan's Master, the Sith who'd returned from the dead more-or-less recently. Former Sith, actually, but that didn’t matter.

“I will help you,” Ahsoka told her after a minute of thinking. She stood up and so did her ally. They shook hands firmly before parting ways. Ahsoka walked back to the Temple with her brows furrowed and hands clutching her lightsabers. 

As she walked, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the small, beaded braid. Ahsoka reached up behind her lekku and secured the braid onto her headdress.

She was going to help Bo-Katan, no matter what.

hope you all enjoyed!!!!!! yes, apparently, im back.

request people!!!!!!!

[1autistictacticalrefrigerator]

Deity SoapGhost AU 🌬️ ( Heavily based on the tales from india my mother used to tell me 🫡 )

[ WARNING: Im not basing this off any gods, (like greek gods, roman gods, or anything) these deities are purely made by my autistic, imaginative brain so dont take them for real/serious! 😭 ]

[ 🫵 ALSO ANOTHER TW: Major Character Death (?), Suicide (please, give it a chance i promise 🥲) )

The Law.

A god can not walk in the world of man. In order for one to do so, the one must also take the form of man. The rules were set by the O’ Great One eons and eons ago, before even the first gods came to exist.

There was only one slight problem with this proposal, the god will not be able to return back to his or her place in the cosmos until his human life journey comes to a end. Without godly powers, or any memory of being one- they are left alone to face the impurities of man kind. Unless, someone can awaken them which is highly, HIGHLY, unlikely. It has only happened one other time. Since that was the case, many gods and goddesses tend to avoid any journeys down to earth unless it’s really necessary...

Yet.. two gods find themselves walking the face of this earth. And there would be no turning back until their human bodies perish.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Ghost was the God of Souls, War, and the Darkness Deep. He basically keeps track of all the dead people- to put it bluntly. Yknow.. eat the bad souls, let the good ones go to “heaven”. Souls were his source of food, and because of that, he was despised among the gods. But what could he do? He wont die from hunger of course, he was a god, but still.. the pain of hunger- nobody liked it.

That was actually the exact reason he was walking the earth, eating too many souls, reaped them too early, the others had said. This was his punishment. He had to suffer the weakness of man. And he hated it. He fucking hated it.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Soap.. (ridiculous name, but it was a nickname given by the other gods so he took it) was the God of Light, Fertility, and Healing. All the gods liked Soap in some way, he was ever so gentle, and made all minds at ease- so many gods were sad to see Soap go when Soap told them he had to travel the path of humankind.

He was on a mission though, to redeem a certain someone. He didn’t know who, but he knew he could count on Lady Fate, one of the highest goddesses. She promised she’d guide him to his person.

Lady Fate was kind to him. She places him in a small, sleepy little town in Scotland. With a pair of honest parents, who were blessed with a sweet, sweet, baby boy.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

PRESENT DAY.

WEEK 1:

Ghost was a feared soldier in the 141, always respected- so when some idiot put the most urghh.. SUNSHINY sergeant under his command, he almost explodes. Ghost seriously couldn’t physically look at the man, or else he’d get blinded by those rays of light emitting from the sergeant’s big goofy smile. He hated him. He hated Soap.

WEEK 2:

Soap was kinda endearing in his own way. Ghost started to feel funny, and by funny, it was just another word for, “How the fuck am I letting this guy talk to me.”

Honestly, Soap was annoyingly chattery.. Ghost thinks. (Is he?)

WEEK 3:

Nevermind. Soap’s constant talking actually kinda puts Ghost at ease. Ghost wants to hear Soap’s voice more. He’s comfortable with Soap giving him light touches, he likes Soap’s warmth. Wait- what the fuck?

WEEK 4:

Ghost is trying not to fold in any way. He wont. He cant-

WEEK 5:

Oh boy. He fucking folded.

…

That was it. Around a month and Ghost already was falling for Soap’s charm. It was like hunger- it couldn’t be helped. Every day it became harder to deny those feelings. He started feeling worried for Soap when Soap had to go on solo missions, he missed Soap when Soap was away for several days, he felt safe around Soap.

Ghost couldn’t fathom what kind of fucking hex Soap had casted over him, but Ghost’ll have to do something about it. Soon.

…

Ghost finally did something about his little situation when he saw one of the men on base hand Soap flowers. Of course, Soap accepted them with no clue what that did to Ghost. It made Ghost feel jealousy, the kind that felt worse than hunger, because the next day the man that offered the flowers were nowhere to be seen.

Soap had wormed his way into Ghost’s life, and now Ghost can’t fathom a way to live without Soap. It’s not fair, Ghost didn’t ask for anyone else- and quickly he learned that kind of mindset was called “love”. Something foreign and insignificant to him before.

Before all of this- before Soap.

However Ghost feared that feeling, that emotion that left him so vulnerable. So he hides it, even when Soap finally confesses he loved Ghost- Ghost stayed silent. It wasn’t he didn’t want to be loved by Soap.. its his own body, his own body telling him he won’t be able to control that hunger for more- Ghost has no clue why. There was one option he was down for though; waiting. Waiting until he was ready, that was the only option left for him, so he’d take it.

…

He took it too late. He took it too late. Soap was a lucky man, having many close calls on the field but always eventually returning somewhat unscathed. So when Soap actually crawls to Ghost with his own guts in his hands, it terrified Ghost. Ghost hadn’t felt what true fear was until that moment. A bloodied and battered up Soap, slowly making his way to Ghost, his eyes a silent plead for Ghost to help in any possible way to make everything stop hurting.

When Ghost saw Soap he had let out a blood curdling scream.

He found himself immediately beside Soap, begging Soap not to die. Because life was so unfair to him- the gods were so mean. Ghost tries to stop fate, that Soap was destined to die. He told Soap he loved him too. That he was sorry, sorry for every hurtful word he’s ever said to Soap because of his own selfishness. Sorry for thinking Soap was annoying or loud. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

But you know how fate is, you’ll never get your way. Soap tried to stay awake for Ghost, he really did but his eyes had never felt so heavy before. Most concerningly though, he heard a voice. A voice congratulating him- a voice telling him it’s done. It’s time to come home again.

Home.

Home?

Home.. hm. Home.. a home in the cosmos. As a deity.. of.. Light, Fertility, and Healing? He had friends back there- he was pretty sure.. no, he was sure.

Memories flood in. His mission was finished, his life as a human on earth has come to a end. He’d broken down the pride and stubbornness Ghost had within himself. But he’d broken Ghost’s heart too.

Finally Soap shuts his eyes as Ghost screams for Soap to hang in there, he knows he’s going home again. He wished so badly he could bring Ghost with him. But he knows its not possible.

…

Ghost holds Soap’s lifeless body in his hands. The warmth he was so used to was gone. The very reason to indulge this cruel world was gone too. And for the first time Ghost had cried, not because he was sad something he valued was gone, like a child’s toy broken. But because he’d never felt so useless before, so guilty before, he’d never felt so much self-loathing before.

He was ready to die right here, right in the rain plastered mud with Soap. He was so, so, ready. He didn’t care if he would go to hell, fuck just anywhere but here. Anywhere.. anywhere.

He wanted to go home.

Home? What. This isn’t right.

He hears the voice of someone scolding him like he was a child who’d done something wrong, but that voice was gentle.. familiar.. something was happening. Something was happening to his body- his mind- his-

For a moment he wasn’t afraid of death. Because death sounded familiar, like a old friend. Were the voices telling him to let go of this body? To “die”? Well there was only one way to find out.

Either he was just absolutely mental, or he was really not just hearing things- he places the handgun to his head. No need to be scared now. He’d be alright. It was a feeling. That feeling was telling himself to set himself free from the shackles of the human body. To become something more than just walking flesh. To be a god again.

Ghost pulls the trigger, and all goes black.

…

There was no pain or afterlife. Ghost wakes up on the floor feeling different, and with those same worried eyes staring at him. Huh? Same eyes.

“Soap?” Ghost blurts out.

The figure smiles, “Welcome home Ghost, thought you’d come for a visit.”

“The fuck-? I live here, what in the blazes do you-“ Oh.

Soap looks different as a god, but radiates the same soothing aura as he did on earth. Well that was comforting… and awkward, considering how dramatically Ghost announces his love for mortal Soap.

Soap must’ve felt the same way because he just makes a strange face at Ghost. Nothing ill-intended though. “So..” Soap was first to break the silence, “Are we like.. a thing now..? Or..”

“Hm.” Ghost hums, giving some thought into it.

“I don’t wanna be forcing anything on you!” Soap quickly adds, hands waving, trying to backpedal, “Just.. I think I still like you..” Soap mumbles.

“What if I thought the same?” Ghost tries, brushing himself off as he stands up. “Would you give someone like me a chance?” He scoffs. No way someone like him would be worthy with probably one of the most friendly gods in the cosmos.

“Then I say we’re together.” Soap declares happily as he takes a step closer, “Back on earth I didn’t even get to kiss you.” Soap complains as he lets out a huff of annoyance, “I waited YEARS, I think I deserve one now.”

“I.. don’t know.. Im not really a-“ Ghost starts before Soap pulls him in for a kiss.

“You wait too much.” Soap says after the kiss. Grinning dopily, the exact same smile that captivated Ghost.

“I know I do. You’ll just have to wait for me, yeah?”

“Yeah, you know I will. For centuries and centuries.” Soap says as he peppers Ghost with kisses again.

And Ghost takes it, he takes the love Soap offers to him because he deserved it. After going through all that fuckery- he thought. He deserved it, it was the one thing he deserved.

And he did deserve it.

END. ❤️

(Haahah dont mind me and my silly brain. I dont know if I like this one or hated it, but hopefully you enjoyed it. Feel like I rushed it bc I was feeling so eepy. Too tired to edit so ignore the typos or mistakes ok ok gn yall 🥱)

[walkman-cat]

hands up tell me abt Your star trek au right now!! on the double bro. what are the tensions it all looks too kind & magical i don’t trust it yet

(if it is literally kind & wonderful i am grateful i am thankful i am honored i’d just like to hear more)

-@jack-kellys

i'm ngl my star trek au au is mostly running on vibes wbwbwb so it is pretty kind and happy and warm (i just really like how much everyone in the enterprise's crew has such a respect and care for each other yknow. found family and all that innit).

that being said, here are some funky things about the characters ive been thinking about lately (under a cut because i'm incapable of being concise):

the stars were essentially jack's santa fe. he grew up surrounded by stories of starship captains and space and it became his lifelong dream and ambition to captain a starship, something which he dropped everything to attain. now he is captain of a starship– one of the youngest in starfleet's history– and it's wonderful and fantastic and he's never felt more alive! but there's always something gnawing at the back of his mind (he's based his entire life up until this point around this moment, it was a driving force and a beacon to look up to when times were tough. what if the experience is nothing like his dreams and he ends up disappointed? what happens when the mission's over? what'll become of him?).

also starfleet's assigned him a galaxy-class starship with families onboard and he's having a Time because of it (what if they get hurt under his watch. what if he gives the wrong order and a child dies. starfleet officers know the risks of space travel and are aware of this but the families. the children). other than that he's having a great time !!

kath's half-betazoid on her mother's side, but she never knew her mother nor has she ever been to betazoid (i really went woe! being mixed and only connected to one of your cultures but still being unable to fit in even there because of the fact that you're mixed be upon ye!). she's trying real hard to learn more about betazoid and who her mother is even though she knows she won't really feel like she "belongs" in betazoid either. she's working on understanding and using her empathic/telepathic powers more.

oh also!! pulitzer is a notorious and not-well liked admiral, when kath joined the acedmy she officially had her name changed to plumber and has since told no-one that they're related (this surely won't backfire terribly on her in the future)

also because this is the spot (cat) show, kath loves spot (cat) and wants to babysit her and play with her but alas. she is allergic to cats

race cannot catch a break– he's got a massive losing streak at senior officer poker night, spot (cat) hates him, he can't grow a beard but every time theres an impostor/clone/mirror universe situation the other version of him always has a beard (this is half in jest but also it amuses me wbwb)

jokes aside, i've been having a whole bunch of race as first officer thoughts (and a lot of riker and race parallel thoughts but. that's another story). i don’t really know how to explain it other than the way riker acts in the last episode of tng season two (yes, the riker montage episode) when facing death (joking around and keeping up the appearance of flippancy and courage in the face of agonising death because he’s first officer and there are people who look up to him and he has to set an example) seemed very race and very kony to me, in a way. (youve got this to blame for riker beard race. im not sorry)

race is also one of the first people to advocate for les becoming acting ensign. he makes it very clear that he's in les' corner and makes himself responsible for his studies and sometimes his training (and he teaches him poker).

OH ALSO! sarah and davey didnt know les ws going to be onboard and only found out about his presence after they'd set off. did he sneak onboard?? mayyyybeee (he just really wants to be a starfleet officer). after the initial shock (and notifying their parents) sarah and davey start the Let Les on the Bridge campaign (letting him watch the bridge from the turbolift, helping out in sciences and engineering, etc etc) the that eventually leads to les becoming acting ensign. it reaches a point where most of jack's senior officers would probably mutiny all for this kid.

there's more stuff but i'll stop rambling now because, again, i have a problem with being concise wbwbw. thankyou soso much for the ask rizz once again i love your star trek au so much and am always eager to hear more wbwbw!!! :D