#like i had good coworkers today so it was FINE and we joked about it and it was COOL you know?

[rae-pottah]

I Just Stood There.

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Rossi's daughter! reader

Y/n = your name

L/n = your last name

Warnings: she/her pronouns, shitty writing?,fluff.

Summary: after embarrassing herself in front of her crush, Y/n rants to Penelope, bad idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Y/n's POV*

Hanging out with my dad's coworkers was fun. Except when it came to my tiny little small incy weenie crush on Dr. Spencer Reid... And I think everyone knows...

⏪⏪⏪⏪⏪

Meeting the BAU team was a blast! I had been coming by to see my dad, seeing as how we don't spend much time together anymore.

First I bumped into SSA Derek Morgan, and Tech nerd Penelope Garcia:

"He-llo, momma!" said Morgan

"Don't scare her away already hot stuff!" Penelope hit his arm "Hi honey bunches, I'm Penelope, this is Derek, who are you? Are you a newbie?"

"Haha! No, I'm Y/n, I'm here to see my father!" I laugh, they looked confused

Next, SSA Jennifer Jareau (otherwise known as JJ) and SSA Emily Prentiss

"Who's this?" JJ asks Garcia

"This is Y/n, she's here to see her father!" Garcia tells her, confused. None of them letting me speak JJ asks

"Who's her father?" With a confused face as well

"Wh-" Garcia starts to ask me a question when my Father, and Uncle Aaron walked in

"UNCLE AARON!" I ran up to him and jump hugged him

I could see my dad off to the side holding his arms open with a playful confused/hurt look on his face, looking from side to side

"No hug for dear old dad, no sirey, just here for the money" he said sarcastically to no one

"Glad you know" I joked, and gave him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek

"So I have lunch I was hoppiii-" I stuttered off as I watched a beautiful man, a genius, a fluffy haired, angelic, smart, kind man walk by me, his name

Doctor Spencer fuckin Reid

"Aaand she's gone" my dad said bringing me back to reality, now noticing everyone smiling at me, him not even noticing I'm here put his stuff down at his desk

"Wwwhat his papers are insanely good" I whispered looking at my shoes

"Well, I'd still like to know what the hell is going on?!" Morgan asks

"This is one of my daughters from my second marriage" he finishes the sentence with a kiss to my head

"Also I already knew your names, my father has prepared me well" I laughed

"Huh and I guess you know pretty boy?" Morgan asks with a smirk, still working at his desk (I'd have to meet him later) I nodded quickly with a blush

"I think she knows him more than she knows any of you, and she's actually met you guys now" my father answers, while everyone starts "oouu" -ing and laughing, I just blushed with my head down

⏩⏩⏩⏩⏩

I eventually met Spencer when everyone came to our house for a cook out, walking backward with a chair isn't a good idea when you can't see behind you.

"OUFF" hit a wall, wait... walls don't make noises

I put the chair down and turn around "OH MY GoD, Im So SorRy" my voice cracked as I spoke to the man in front of me "Are you okay?" I asked

"Haha yeah I'm fine, it was my fault anyway, I wasn't looking where I was going. You're Y/n right?" I instantly blushed

"y-yeah I am, Doctor Spencer Reid, if I'm not incorrect?"

"yes!" He smiled, absolutely beautiful. He helped me move the chair and we talked slightly, me stuttering the entire time.

⏭️⏭️⏭️⏭️⏭️

Again visiting my father at work, today was gonna be a good day.

I was getting ready to turn the corner to my fathers office when I ran into someone

"Sor- oh hi" it's like his ears were hurting, why do I have to run into you while I'm thinking about what a domesticated you would look like

"Hi, how are you?" He must have just woke up because his voice was deep as hell, and he had dark circles under his beautiful brown eyes

"-hi-" I couldn't think of anything else to say, I walked away quickly

"Hey can we go for lunch?" I asked my dad quickly

"Sorry kid, we got a case" disappointing but at least I can talk to Garcia alone (we've become good friends)

A while after they left:

I just walked straight into Garcia's office

"I SAID HI, TWICE" I said terrified

"Woah woah woah, what are we flipping out about" she looked very concerned

"I said hi twice! We bumped into each other and I said 'oh hi' and he said 'hi, how are you?' And I JUST SAID HI AGAIN?! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO REDUCE MY IQ TO 3?!"

"Wai- you mea-" I cut her off

"Spencer! Yes! Duh! Why does he have to be so hot and smart and adorable, I mean have you read his paper on quantum physics?! Only a perfect man could be that smart and THAT HOT!" I flopped on the couch in her bat cave

"Okay, baby doll, please don't be mad at me, I tried to tell you!" Only then did I look down to see the little red light being produced from the phone

"No."

"Yes." She said in a sorry voice

"Who are you on the phone with?" I asked nervously

"Oh! Actually hotch!"

"I'm not afraid to remove your knee caps Uncle Aaron." I said dangerously

"I'll help her hide the body!" Garcia shouted

"Ha.Ha. you want the bad news or good news?"

We stayed quiet

"Okay bad news is, the entire time Garcia's been on speaker, including the time that you ranted about boy genius, also bad news I'm sitting around everyone"

I could have cried until he said

"Good news is, is he can't stop smiling"

"EA" I let out a small yelp from Garcia nudging me and the information.

"You'll have to wait till we get back to ask her out, Rossi quit death staring him, you already knew, here's your fifty"

I ran out of the room and home, soon enough a couple days later there was a knock at my apartment door

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Jealousy (6) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

Advent Calendar 2021 (ao3) - Phantje

Summary: Phil lives and works in a town in the North called Lylchester. Well, 'works'. He does charitable things in the name of being nice and his (adoptive) parents. Things are fine. Yeah. Fine. Meeting Dan who has strong opinions about peculiar things shakes up Phil's life and he is falling before he can help it.

Dan lives and works somewhere, or anywhere really. By fate, or call it the British Railway train running times, he ends up in Lylchester. Before he can help himself, he has made the first real best friend he has ever had - Beatrix. And suddenly, life does not seem so difficult anymore. Dan appreciates the work he can do, even if it has him interact with the rich idiot Phil more often that he would personally choose.

am i a joke to you? (ao3) - catbearbunz (bunnieovadamoon)

Summary: aka dan makes a friend with another phil and phil reacts accordingly. (poorly)

aka a silly drabble inspired by phils recent tweet i made instead of working on real phics

Borderline (ao3) - chiridotalaevis

Summary: Dan and Phil Rize Show (August 14th 2018):

D: It’s just because he’s used to having dozens of people having massive gangbangs and doing drugs, while we’re like, let’s play Mario Kart…

P: Speaking of, not gangbangs, but drugs, we went through the border into Canada on a bus…

D: Right, that’s going to be used out of context.

[…]

D: There was a guy from Canada, who was called Chan and he was our border agent.

P: Yeah, Dan loved Chan.

get to heaven in our own sweet time (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil choose their costume for Halloween 2024. Yeah, it breaks the internet, but they only have eyes for each other.

Daprè Ski (ao3) - duckcrab

Summary: Dan thought he’d made himself clear.

“No skiing,” he remembered saying. “Neither of us are coordinated enough and I like your neck too much just the way it is to see it get broken.”

For Your Eyes Only (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Despite what the jealousy clawing out from his gut had him say, Phil isn’t his. Phil isn’t his so much so that someone’s flirting with him on Twitter. Someone who, for once, isn’t Dan. Or at least, that’s what Dan’s nerves have convinced him.

A fic about spirals and uncertainty.

Glitch (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Phil wrote a movie screenplay

Heat (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Phil has eyes for a cute waiter. But Dan only has eyes for Phil.

hot boy summer (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan deserves to have this time just to himself, with no one around who knows him, no one he'll feel any urge to impress, no one he'll vaguely worry will recount his exploits later. Well, no one except for Phil, but of course that's different.

Jealousy, Jealousy (ao3) - thestreaklives

Summary: Phil gets a gift from a coworker and Dan is having a hard time with it.

Jigsaw Falling Into Place (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Dan makes him feel wanted, loved, and confident on the good days until the good days become too sparse to be known

Keep me from you (ao3) - Thedemonqueen

Summary: Even though Dan knows he can’t date anyone ever again, he can’t help but drag Phil away from a man who’s flirting with Phil.

A hurt/comfort au I wrote to reduce today’s HIV stigma<3

Knight of Wands (ao3) - dapg_otmebytheballs

Summary: Dan does not believe in fate and destiny and fortune-telling. Dan finds the idea of fortune-telling at the same time exciting and terrifying. He definitely doesn’t believe in it though. But he’s starting to have doubts.

OR

Dan watches Phil do tarot readings and learns something about fate.

Lightyear Groovin' (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: In a galaxy far, far away, there’s an abundance of 70s clubs. On Krithoo, local party freak Dan Howell works as a waiter at an often overcrowded cantina, Virgo Volans. And maybe, just maybe, has an infatuation with the extraterrestrial dj frequenting their stage.

Like Fine Print (ao3) - totalincandescense

Summary: Every few weeks, Dan was given an unfriendly reminder of at least one of the many reasons why he never went outside.

The most frequently recurring thing on the list being the general existence of people.

But more specifically, the existence of people who flirted with Phil.

Like You Used To (ao3) - easybubbyy

Summary: The boys go out for drinks with their crew. Dan is a horny and clumsy drunk, and Phil is a goofy and flirty drunk. Smut ensues. Enjoy!

New year, New us: (ao3) - BlueFox1319, UnusPhanus

Summary: “Dan hurry we are going to be late, PJ and the others will be here any minute to pick us up! It’s already seven, we need to be at the restaurant by eight!” Phil yelled down the hall at his boyfriend. December 31st, New Year's Eve, every year the pair went out with friends and spent the first night of the new year together. For Dan and Phil, tonight would be a little different though, Phil had been planning this for months .

Only Cat You Need (ao3) - ByTheFire

Summary: Phil knows he shouldn't be jealous over Dan watching some cat videos, but he can't help himself when he sees Dan take a selfie with another cat on his lap.

scratch bark bite (oh, love me, i lied) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Music & Drama teacher Dan Howell has a well-known rivalry with his coworker, English teacher Phil Lester.

An unforeseen event flips everything Dan thought he knew about Phil and himself on its head. Slowly but surely, the grudge withers, and the two of them cross the line between enemy and friend. But what will happen when their true intents and feelings get revealed? And was what they had ever really a rivalry? Was it even mutual?

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan has some jealousy issues to deal with when he finds out Phil has had a run-in with someone from his past.

The Bongo Incident (ao3) - cosmic_angel_writes

Summary: Dan sees the ginger man flirting with Phil while playing the bongos. Dan can’t seem to get his jealousy under control. He snaps and then is faced with how much he wants the world to know he loves Philip Lester.

The Other Side Of The Counter (ao3) - CanDanAndPhilNot (enbycalhoun)

Summary: Dan needs to stop pining after his bartender, Phil. Maybe another Tinder date will help. Probably not, but he can hope.

Trapped in the dark, you found me (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Five times Dan felt lucky to have Phil

(we were in) screaming color (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Phil thinks he could be jealous. He turns the idea over in his mind, weighing it. He could be more jealous, angry for Dan’s lack of attention.

wear no disguise for me (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: It’s not exactly jealousy, Phil doesn’t think. Not– exactly. But he’s feeling petulant and selfish and maybe like he wants to be a little mean about this… not-Phil. This Phil who doesn’t know the half of what it means to be half of Dan.

(or: dan made a new friend called phil. am i a joke to you)

[athing4actors]

Vegas|Spencer Reid

BlackFemBallerina!Reader x Spencer Reid

warnings: smut with a plot, kissing, secret relationship, suckingbreasts, oral (m receiving), p in v,

Summary: after being teased by Derek, Spencer uses their Vegas case to his advantage

“JJ he’s doing it again” Spencer complained as he looked over the case files “Boys” JJ warned “Ok but come on, you’re from Vegas and you’re a virgin” Derek continued to tease

“I’m not a virgin” Spencer muttered “Oh really?” Derek leaned in “Ew no I don’t wanna hear about Spencer’s sex life” Penelope interfered from the laptop on the jet

“You won’t baby girl, because he doesn’t have one” Derek chuckled

“I do have a sex life and it’s a very good sex just because I don’t sleep with everything that breathes in my direction doesn’t mean I’m a virgin” Spencer ranted before going to the most private place on the jet, the bathroom

Spencer threw cold water on his face to calm him down and pulled out his phone to make a call.

“Hey!” Spencer said in a whisper

“Hey Spence!” The girl on the phone beamed

“Um, we have a case and it’s in Vegas” He said

“And you wanna see me” The girl sighed in a tone of disappointment

“You ok?” Spencer worried

“Yeah I’m fine” The mystery woman lied

“Odette don’t lie to me” Spencer said in a stern voice

“Well Spencer everytime we see each other you always just wanna sleep together…and not in the cute cuddly way plus we barely get to see each other” Odette complained

“Oh, um, I’m sorry, I apologize that’s completely my fault” Spencer began to apologize

“And I assume when you get here you wanna have sex” She was right that’s what he wanted but Spencer did really like Odette

“No, um, if I have time let’s do something” Spencer decided

“This doesn’t mean I’m ruling out sex Spencer” Odette let out a giggle

Spencer heard someone call Odette’s name and Odette someone call Spencer’s name.

“What you doin’ in there Pretty Ricky?” Derek chuckled “Nothing” Spencer sighed, ignoring the question

“Bye, gotta go” They said in unison before hanging up

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

This case was stressful but it came night time and they could finally sleep.

Spencer decided he’d go to Odette’s house and surprise her.

“Pretty boy, where you going?” Derek stopped him “To bed” Spencer responded “You don’t even know where the hotel is yet” Derek reminded him “Uh, I’ll see you in the morning” Spencer continued to Odette’s car be borrowed

He pulled up to the girl’s house and got out his spare key to enter the house.

Odette had no idea Spencer was in the house and he planned to keep it that way, enough to scare her. He took off his shoes as he made his way to the kitchen where Odette was finishing a snack, her back turned to Spencer.

“Boo!” Spencer shouted “Ah!” Odette shrieked in fear “Spencer Reid!” She playfully pushed his shoulder “Sorry, sorry, um, so you wanna do something?” Spencer joined the laugh

“Spencer it’s 11pm there’s nothing to do right now” Odette threw away her plate “It’s Vegas, 11pm is when everything opens” The boy genius joke “Not when you’ve been up for work since 5am” Odette signed

“Wow, I had no idea being a ballerina was so hard” Spencer stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders “Yeah? Imagine being a FBI agent” Odette placed her hands over his “Two people with stressful jobs” The girl turned around to kiss Spencer

“Mhm” He tried to refrain from moaning

She moved from his neck to his lips and Spencer began to kiss back.

Spencer took his large hands used them to pick her up and give her the ability wrap her long legs around him as he carried them both to her bad.

Him, laying on the bed and her on his lap straddling him.

Spencer was quick to remove her oversized pajama shirt whilst she grinder into his hips causing him to let out a deep groan.

“You know today my coworker, Derek” He stopped talking to make sure Odette knew who he was talking about

“Mhm, I’ve heard that name before” She was too caught up in helping Spence remove her bra “He made that virgin joke again” He finished as he threw the bra across

“If only he knew” Odette’s hand ran through Spencer’s hair

Spencer chuckled before laying Odette on his back to take one of her breast in his mouth sucking and humming as he massaged the other and that alone had her back slightly arching.

“Yeah, they kinda see me as innocent” Spencer released her boob with a popping sound “I sure don’t” Odette disagreed as she gasped at the feeling of Spencer giving her other breast the same attention

“Oh, you don’t?” Spencer chuckled, they were face to face again “You know what, I have a problem” The girl sat up “What? What’s wrong?” Spencer slightly worried “You’re still clothed” She began to unbutton his shirt

She didn’t stop till all of Spencer’s close were removed and on the floor except his underwear which Spencer insisted on keeping on.

“No, they’re coming off” Odette got on her knees and pulled Spencer’s boxers off, his cock immediately sprung up.

She took no time to attempt to take the whole thing into her mouth knowing she couldn’t right away, she only wanted to make that gagging sound Spencer loves.

If someone payed attention it’d be very easy for them to tell Odette was a ballerina, aside from her name, everything she did was graceful and done with care, even when she had someone’s dick down her throat.

Also when that someone was relentlessly pulling her hair, all the gagging, slurping, and sucking had Spencer on edge.

Odette could tell Spencer was close so she took that as her sign to stop.

“Seriously” Spencer let out a groan “Yes seriously” She crawled back up to the bed “Lay on your back, please” Spencer grinned a bit as Odette complied

“Ready?” Spencer looked at her for approval “Ready” She assured him.

Spencer lined up his cock and slowly pushed into Odette’s vagina causing them to both let out groans of pleasure.

“Okay, Spencer go go go” She rushed him to continue penetrating “With pleasure” Spencer continued then stopped when Odette began laughing

“What’s funny?” He asked, genuinely confused “Nothing, nothing but, “with pleasure” that was funny” She continued laughing “Oh god, no pun intended” Spencer chuckled

“Go Spence” She gently slapped his shoulder, though neither of them stopped laughing

Spencer pulled out then pushed in again repeatedly, Odette’s legs remained around his torso and her nails digging into her back.

A few more thrusts later and Spencer’s breathing was labored and Odette’s legs began to shake.

“I’m close” Spencer admitted “Mhm” Odette was too but she couldn’t find the words, within 10 seconds after saying that they both released.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping to energize for you big case tomorrow”Odette turned to face him “It should be easier for me to focus on clues and catch the unsub tomorrow rather than today” Spencer turned as well

“Why is that?” Odette asked “It’s proven that calming and regulating your nervous system helps with your focus” He began ranting “Mhm, and is your nervous system calmed and regulated” Odette asked as she moved the hair that was glued to his forehead with sweat

“It is” Spencer chuckled

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The team cheered and shoved Spencer around playfully seeing as it was his break through that solved the case and helped them catch the unsub.

“Dinner! On me Morgan” Garcia declared “Fine by me” Rossi and everyone else agreed

They walked out of the police station but Spencer stopped once he saw a poster for a ballet.

Swan Lake starring Odette Mills as Odette and Odile

Weird, he didn’t know.

“Actually guys, you wanna go see a ballet?” Spencer held up the poster “Swan Lake?! Omg, that’s just like my favorite ballet ever!” JJ beamed “Let’s go there first!” Garcia agreed

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The ballet ended and Spencer was in awe, Odette was so graceful and beautiful on the stage. He fell in love even more.

“I hate to admit it, but I enjoyed it” Hotch sighed “You can’t deny it” Garcia cheered “Did you guys the main ballerina playing the swans is also named Odette” Morgan examined the flyer

“Spencer?” Odette yelled from the stage then began to run to him “Princess!” Spencer hugged the girl

The nickname Spencer gave her when he watch The Swan Princess and found out the princess was named Odette.

“Princess?” Derek raised a brow “Guys, this is Odette, my, um, girlfriend” Spencer hesitated because he and Odette had never put labels on their relationship.

“Yup” Odette agreed “Girlfriend?!” Rossi said in shock “Aaron Hotchner, nice to meet you” “Odette Mills” She repeated to everyone, the last two people being Penelope and Derek

“Penelope Garcia nice to meet you! You were so great out there and omg you’re so pretty, Spencer she’s so pretty! Why haven’t we met you? Wait but we’re meeting you right now. Did I mention you’re pretty” Penelope ranted which Odette didn’t mind

She was literally dating Spencer Reid the king of ranting.

“Odette, nice to meet you, love your style” She hugged Penelope

“Derek Morgan nice to meet you” Derek held out his hand “Wait, the Derek Morgan” Odette slightly gasped “I think so” Derek chuckled “Spencer talks about you all the time” Odette’s arms crossed

“Really? That’s good to hear” Derek nodded “Wanna know a secret?” Odette asked “Sure” Derek agreed “He’s not a virgin” The girl smirked

“No way!” Emily finally spoke “Nope, he’s actually a god in bed” Odette wrapped her arms around Spencer’s body “You naughty boy” Derek teased “Dinner, who’s hungry” Spencer attempted to change the subject

This is horrible 😭

[danime25]

Someone To Watch Over Me

masterlist // ao3

*Summary: Six had done everything right up until this point. Everything he did was in Claire's best interest. Who would have thought that he'd risk it all for a barista?

*Rating: +18 for explicit mature content

*Content/Tags: Smut, Slight Angst

*Status: Oneshot/Complete

Rain drops fogged the glass of the coffee shop. There wasn’t another soul in the restaurant except three baristas behind the bar. Two of them were having a semi-private conversation about their mutual friend, while the third… The third was where Six’s eyes went when something happened in the restaurant. When the door creaked, when an umbrella tapped against the floor, his eyes gravitated to her. He scrolled through his phone aimlessly and occasionally brought the warm cup up to the tip of his lips and drank the coffee that she had prepared for him. He had hardly even walked past the threshold of the store and there she was, with a warm cup waiting for him.

“I must come too often.” He said, carefully taking it from her grasp

“That’s okay.” She smiled at him, “We rely on regulars here.”

“Thank you.” He smiled back at her, “I’ll just sit over here at my usual spot, if you don’t mind.”

“Go right ahead. Sorry I can’t make much conversation today, I have some things I need to take care of.”

“That’s alright.” He took a seat and looked out the window. His gaze turned towards her as she hummed along with the song over the radio. He kept a cool face as he listened in to what she probably thought was between her and God. She never seemed to notice the way his gaze lingered a little longer on her than her coworkers, but that was okay with him. The less she knew of him, the better. He glanced at the watch on his arm, and noted how much time he had left before he needed to go and pick Claire up from school. Good. Plenty of time left.

“Another coffee?” She had snuck up on him, he jumped up a little bit in his seat

“No, I’m fine.” He shrugged it off, “Would it be too much to ask for a glass of water?”

“Not at all.” She scurried off and got him the glass a second later. He nodded and took a sip from it. He looked her up and down as she walked back behind the bar, noticing the fatigue in her steps. He went back to scrolling, and heard the door open and shut no less than four times. Probably a shift change, but she was still there. He came back up to the counter and the teenage girls ran to the back to go and gossip, leaving him to deal with her once more.

“I changed my mind.” He said softly

“Okay.” She smiled back at him

“Can I get… a coffee to go and one of those coffee smoothie things.”

“A frappe. Is it for Claire?”

“Yes.” He replied quickly

“Decaf?”

“Please.” She nodded and got to work on the new order. He stood waiting on the other end of the counter

“You could have stayed over here. When it’s this slow I don’t mind handing the drinks to you.”

He wanted to argue that it’d breach etiquette, but also didn’t want to be rude so he scooted back across so that he was facing her as she pressed the coffee down into the filter.

“Other than me, how is business going?” He asked to make small talk

“Good… good actually, I don’t know if she’d be interested, but I have a bunch of kids going off to college, and I’d be happy to hire Claire.”

“I’d have to ask her.”

“I’ll even let her keep the tips she earns.” She joked with him. He gave her a half-smile but couldn’t give her a firm commitment. He’d have to check with Claire first, then make sure that she had a good balance between school and work. Already he was getting too far ahead of himself. “There’s the coffee.”

“Thank you.” He took the cup from her as she handed it off to him. She excused herself and stepped away to find a back-up syrup for the drink Claire liked. He waited in silence for her to come back, and matched a look with one of the other girls working there. Probably around Claire’s age. She covered her mouth with her hand and said something into her friend's ear after breaking eye contact with him. Her friend laughed, before also going to hide her mouth behind her hand. He heard the back door alarm go off and go off again a second later.

“Sorry, I had to break down a box.” She apologized for her longer than intended absence

“I understand.”

“Let me get back to this then, so you can be on your way.”

“Okay.” She finished his drink quickly and put a lid on it. She handed it off to him and told him to have a good day. He replied back with a quick ‘You too’ and headed out the door. He drove to Claire’s school and picked her up, handing her the drink after she was settled in the passenger’s seat.

“Isn’t that shop great?”

“Yeah. Good coffee.”

“It’s okay to say you like something Six.” She rolled her eyes

“I like the store. Best coffee in this town.” He replied before starting the drive back home, “You know that barista you’re friends with?”

“Yeah?”

“She…” He was about to tell her about the job offer, but realized rather than get her hopes up and risk having someone find Claire Fitzroy he put his foot in his mouth. “She’s also nice.”

“Yeah she is, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” He let out a little sigh. He’d been holding his breath in longer than he had realized. They pulled into the driveway of their little home and Claire rushed off to go and relax in her favorite spot in the backyard. Six picked up his coffee and was about to bring it in, when realized that he must have finished it while driving. He sighed and took the cup over to the trash can. He looked at the bottom of the cup before tossing it, and saw that it was a note from the gossiping girls.

“She likes you! XXX-XXXX” He threw it harder into the trash can than he intended but knew that he couldn’t give into the feelings that made him a man. No, first and foremost was Claire. He couldn’t take another chance. He had barely managed to keep her safe once, if someone from the agency found her and took her away? Fitzroy would never forgive him. He’d never forgive himself. This was a part of what he promised when he joined the Sierra squad. His life was not his anymore. He let out a heavy sigh and went into the house. He looked out over the kitchen counter at Claire before looking back down at his hands and started mentally preparing himself to make dinner. The rest of the evening went as normal, Claire told her adoptive father about the school day, talked about a particular story she had been working on in her creative writing English class, and he told her about the minute errands he had run. They wished each other good night and this pattern continued. Every three days like clockwork, Six would show up at the cafe and talk to her. Sometimes Claire would be in tow, there to study somewhere different. She never brought the job offer up again, despite Claire and her chatting for nearly an hour every time they came in to visit. He decided to ask her about it one day.

“Did you ever get any more kids to work here?”

“Yeah I got a couple, they’re not great but it’s better than nothing.”

“That’s good… if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Yes?” She looked up from the latte she had just finished pouring foam on

“Why didn’t you ever bring the job up with Claire?”

“Well. I figured you had told her, and she wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to press the issue.” She replied so nonchalantly. Maybe he had misread her feelings for him. Maybe there wasn’t anything there but a rapport between a worker and her regular customer.

“I…” His voice trailed. He almost told her the reason that Claire never applied, but decided it’d hurt less if he just gave her a quick ‘Thank you’ instead

“You’re welcome.” She replied automatically, placing the drink at the end of the bar for the other customer. She wandered back to him and leaned against the counter. Their faces were only a couple of inches apart from one another. Six backed up so as not to invade her personal bubble of space.

“Hey.” One of her male co-workers said and touched her shoulders. Six could tell that he made her uncomfortable by the way her shoulders folded underneath his touch. Six looked quickly at him but the guy didn’t seem to pick up on the ‘I will hurt you’ vibes that Six was putting down. “We really need you working on drinks. A lot of soccer moms just pulled into the lot.”

“Okay.” She said, wriggling her way away from the man and getting back to work. Six sat down in his normal spot. She made the drinks as the order came rolling in, like it was as simple as breathing. He breathed through his nose and attempted to keep himself in his seat and not absolutely demolish the guy behind the bar as he came up to the soccer moms and bragged about how it was hard making all their drinks. She quietly stepped to the side and let him take all the credit for her work, which made Six disappointed. He didn’t talk to her much the rest of that day, as she was busy serving, waiting hand and foot on the entitled women but he did manage to throw a 10 in the tip jar for her. Whether she’d actually see it and knew it was from him, it was anyone’s guess but he wanted to make sure that she felt appreciated. It’d be a couple of days before he came back and when he came in, he noticed the guy visibly upsetting her. She looked up at the door as it made its usual noise and seemed to smile at him. Not like she was being saved by him. She stepped aside and went to take Six’s order, this time requesting a new, and time consuming drink so that hopefully her coworker would leave her alone. They talked about how Claire was doing in school, what she wanted from the future.

“She’s a really sweet girl.” She remarked when she had finally finished her drink

“I’m proud of her…” He said

“You should be. You raised her well.” “She’s… thank you.” He nodded and went to his normal seat. He kept the corner of his eye open in case she was bothered again. She walked from behind the counter to start sweeping around the dining room. After he had been sitting there for over an hour, he saw her leave for the bathroom. He immediately got up from his chair, and he made the walk over to the bar in what probably looked like one stride. “She’s not interested in you.”

“What?” The other barista asked him

“She’s not interested.” He said, more firmly, “She’s just too polite or bound by being a nice coworker to tell you to fuck off. But I will. Gladly.”

“What? You think you know her like the back of your hand because you’re in here once a week?” He laughed at Six, “She’s more than just your eye candy.”

“I know that. All I’m saying is, nothing she does is with the intent of being your eye candy.” Six replied

“Let’s take this out back if you think you’re such a white knight.” The dude threw off his apron. Six huffed and said,

“Leave her alone. Or else.” Six walked out of the shop. When he got into his car he saw that the man was keeping a distance from her. She looked out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her savior, only to be greeted by the empty parking lot. She made a point to mention it the next time Six had visited.

“Thank you.” She says, handing him a mug. “Extra whipped cream on the hot chocolate.”

“Thank you.” He smiled at her before taking a second to process what she said, “What are you thanking me for?”

“Mark’s been off my ass more lately… and it’s because of you. He seems terrified of you. I had to move him to the night shift, actually, because of it.”

“That’s a shame.” He smiled at her

“A shame.” She agreed with him, “I’m about to be off… do you mind if I sit with you for a little bit?”

“I don’t mind. Come join me whenever you’re free.” He offered to her

“Thanks.” She smiled and went back to work. She seemed to speed through everything it was that she needed to do before clocking out. The last thing she did was make herself an iced mocha and sat down across from Six in the other, equally comfortable, chair. She let out a deep breath and eased herself into the chair. “I finally have a vacation tomorrow and I haven’t packed anything.”

“You should work on that.”

“No, I like packing at the last moment. Makes me less likely to forget things. Until I remember things I forgot on my trip.”

He tried to hide a laugh behind the rim of his cup, but it was no use, she could see him plain as day. She smiled and looked down at her feet.

“Anyway, I’ll be fine.” She reassured him, “It’ll be a nice change of pace from here.”

“Where are you going?”

“My family and I go on a yearly vacation together. Though this is the first year I’m going in a while… got too busy with the coffee shop to bother asking off.”

“Hopefully, they’ll appreciate your effort to meet with them this year.”

“Thank you, I hope so too.” She replied. Conversation with her flowed so seamlessly, she talked about her family. Six kept hiding behind questions and stories about Claire that Fitzroy had gladly volunteered to him, but it felt like he knew the essence of who she was from just that talk. That and the many other talks they had when she had a free second, in between drinks.

And still… It wasn't enough for him. He wanted to see her more. He wanted to walk in with Claire after a day at school and she’d be there waiting for them. She’d hold Claire like she was the most important thing in her world and when Claire went to the backyard, she’d kiss him like it’d been years since they had last seen each other. With a tenderness he knew he’d never know. A touch he’d never feel. He had to dash these thoughts. He placed his hand over the pocket that he would normally have a pack of gum, and felt a noticeable weight missing.

“Is something wrong?” She asked him, seeing the almost fear brewing in his eyes

“No. It’s fine. I just need a piece of gum.”

“I don’t have gum, but I have a pack of breath mints.” She offered him the option

“That’ll work. Where are they?” He asked, sitting at the edge of his chair ready to go at her beck and call

“No, you don’t need to get up. And they’re in the employee area.” She apologized and went to the back before coming back with the tin can, “Brought a couple, just in case.”

“You’re a life-saver.” He thanked her

“It’s nothing. What’s it you say to Claire? It’s just another Thursday?”

“Yeah.” He was shocked that she had picked up on the phrase he used between him and his daughter

“Yeah. I like that. It keeps me grounded in a way. Reminds me that things will get better.”

“That’s not really what it means.” He started to explain

“What does it mean to you then?” She looked at him

“It’s more of… ‘I’m okay, I’m living’.”

“But it grounds you, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. It does.” He pondered the thought for a second. Her phone buzzed and she caught a quick glance of it before resting her bag on her shoulder

“I’m sorry, I need to go.”

“You’re going to pack?”

“Yes, actually.” She swiped her bangs back behind the back of her ears, “Bye.”

“Bye, I’ll see you when you get back.” He said it in solemn tone that turned it rom a statement to a promise

“I’ll look forward to it.” She shook her head once and walked out to her car, his eyes keeping a constant line of sight focused on her until he knew she was pulling away safely. He sat in silence for another moment before the usual crowd of school kids filtered in. He got up from his seat only to see that Claire was just outside the door. He looked down at his watch and realized that he’d been late for pick-up. He dashed out the door and apologized to her.

“It’s okay. I’m fine, I just took the bus here.” She placed a hand on his shoulder to calm his anxiety over the situation

“Should we go home?” He asked

“Where’s…” She started

“She left. I mean, she’s done for the day.”

“Aw man. I made her something.”

“What did you make?”

“It’s just a little pencil cup.” She pulled the ceramic piece from her backpack, “But I thought she’d like it for organizing her sharpies.”

“That’s thoughtful of you.” He held his hand out and she let him inspect it, “We’ll have to give it to her when she gets back.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s going on a vacation.” He replied

“Aw.” Claire sighed

“It’ll be okay.”

“Who are you telling that to? Me or you?” Claire raised an eyebrow

“You, obviously.” He scoffed and got into the car. He went back the next day just to make sure that she was actually vacationing and not just tired of seeing him. That and he was a little worried work would force her to come in anyway. He got his normal drink but it just wasn’t quite the same. It didn’t leave him in a very contemplative mood, so he packed it up and drank the coffee back at home. For the first time in months, he was able to attend to some projects he’d been neglecting in favor of getting coffee. He and Claire visited the shop a couple more times during her vacation, but even Claire agreed something was off without her. When she returned it was like she had never left. Six entered the shop and before he could say anything there was a coffee cup in his hands.

“Welcome back.” She told him

“I think I should be saying that to you.” He replied, taking a sip of his drink, “How was vacation?”

“Nice.” She replied. “Talked a lot about life with my family.”

“Ah. That’s always fun.”

“It wasn’t so bad.” She shrugged it off, “How was it here?”

“Quiet.” He replied

“I suppose not much would change whether I was here or not.”

“Claire missed you.”

“That’s sweet of her.” She grinned

“I’ll bring her by tomorrow. If that’s not too much trouble for you.”

“No, it’s not a problem. It’d be nice to see her actually.”

“Sounds good.” He went and sat down in his chair. He listened as it seemed like there was a small argument in the back and saw her walk towards him, but kept her distance. She had her coat resting on her forearms and her bag slung on her shoulder.

“Sorry you heard that.” She apologized to him

“It’s okay, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just had a little cough. It’s not a death sentence.” She crossed her fingers, “But my boss just wants me to take better care of myself.”

“Since when has she worried?” Six asked her

“My vacation wasn’t all time spent with my family.” Her eyes darted away from his

“Oh.” He said, “You don’t have to say anymore.”

“Thank you.” Her voice broke quietly, “So yeah. I’m just going to go home and recuperate.”

“Do you need a ride home?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Drive her.” Her boss shouted from the back, “I’ll drop her car off later.”

“Are you sure?” Six yelled back

“Yes!” She replied. The barista sighed and Six escorted her to his car. She got in the passenger’s side and rested against the headrest. He slowly put the car in reverse and drove around town. He was about to make the turn off the freeway to his house, but realized that it wasn’t Claire in the seat next to him. He looked over, ready to ask her where she lived, to see her head drooping to the side by the window. He didn’t want to wake her up, and only had a half an hour before pick up, so with a heavy sigh he drove towards Claire’s school. He pulled into a spot and saw her shift her weight, but she was out cold. He thought maybe stopping the vehicle would wake her, to no avail. He turned on the radio and flipped it to something calm. The rain started to drip down along the side of the vehicle. Quiet… safe. He felt at ease. Claire came running and nearly screamed when she saw a body laying in her normal seat. He opened the back door and she hopped in.

“What’s she doing in our car?” Claire asked

“Her boss asked for a favor from me.” He replied, “Said she was sick.”

“Do you even know where she lives?”

“No.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I was going to keep driving.” He started the car back up and saw her move. She rubbed her eyes and looked up

“Where am I?” She yawned and looked around. When she saw it was Six she seemed a little less panicked but was at the very least still confused

“You’re in my car.”

“Oh.” She replied, “Sorry I fell asleep. Did I keep you for long?”

“No.” He responded

“Good, I’d hate to be a burden.” She sighed, “Here, can I use your phone?”

“Why?”

“So I can pull up the directions to my place. I don’t know where we are.”

“Okay.” He unlocked the phone and pulled up Maps for her to use. She punched in the address quickly and started the directions. He followed it to a tee.

“Thank you…” She said as she stepped out of the car. Rain fell on top of her head and the inside of door

“You’re welcome… Get some rest.” He told her in a tone that sounded more like a command than a statement

“I will… Good night.” She closed the door behind her and made a mad dash for the door of her building. Six sighed and started the car back up and drove them home. Claire pulled the cup she had made and put it in her back for the next time she went to the cafe. Six went back the next day and saw she wasn’t there so he paid for his coffee and left. This went on for two more days afterwards. When she was back she looked so happy… What had changed? He cautiously opened the door and she turned to face him. She smiled at him with the radiant smile he had come to love and handed him his drink.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes. I never got to thank you properly.” She said, and pushed a small plate holding a cookie towards him, “It’s not a note, but I thought you’d like this more.”

“It’s appreciated.” He took the plate in his hand over to his spot and sat down. The mood had shifted in the shop. It went from a bubbly warmth to something else entirely. He couldn’t put a finger on it until someone messed up the store playlist and changed it to something he’d never heard before. One of her co-workers pushed her up to Six and made her sit down across from him.

“Sorry… everyone’s been acting weird.” She said, she wasn’t able to look even in his direction

“Is something wrong?” He asked, looking directly at her. He shifted his weight in the chair to give her his full attention

:Well I couldn’t help but notice how often you come in here. But I don’t want to assume anything.” She started. He didn’t want to hear the rest of what she had to say. He knew he couldn’t offer her anything. So he stood up. He noticed the girls on the other side of the bar watching the two of them and quickly walked out of the coffee shop. He didn’t look back. He couldn’t. She sat in the seat for a second but ran out to the car before he could get in. “If you don’t like me that way that’s okay… but just don’t let me keep my hopes up. Are you seeing someone else?”

His chest heaved. No lie he had ever told, no words he would ever say to anyone would hurt as much as the next pathetic puffs of air that came from his mouth.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Her whole body crumpled in on itself, “I’m sorry if I interpreted that this was anything more than a regular and a barista.”

“Bye.” He replied curtly and drove off. He couldn’t go home, he couldn’t face Claire and tell her what he had done.

But everything was for her. For her safety, for her protection. She would be another liability. A loose string that would lead all the way back to him and Claire. He couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t lose Claire. He couldn’t tell Claire that a woman was more important than their bond. He went back and forth in his head trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing. No level of cognitive dissonance or self-justification seemed to ease his worries. He found himself heading back towards the coffee shop and decided to watch from afar. She was leaving the shop, but in the doorway she was being held by her manager. He didn’t have a clue of how long she had been standing there but her body looked limp. Her boss took an arm and slung it over her own shoulder, guiding Six’s barista to her car. She helped her get buckled in and started backing up. Six used this opportunity to get away, heading home. Six didn’t go back to the coffee shop. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore. He had to try and let go of her. It was for Claire’s safety. He focused on these thoughts. He focused for days. Claire noticed that he’d been avoiding the shop and took matters into her own hands. When she opened the door, the barista turned around and smiled.

“Hi Claire.”

“Hi.” She smiled back, “Can I get a frappe?”

“Of course.” She made the drink and handed it to her

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean how are you? I haven’t seen you in over a month.”

“Oh.” She nodded, “Nothing much. Shop’s still the same as ever. I made some changes to the playlist. You’re in here often enough I feel like I can ask. Any music you want to hear more of?”

“You should add ‘Silver Bird’.” Claire suggested

“Let me go get the tablet.” She shuffled off and came back with the device, “If I don’t add it now, I’ll probably forget it.”

“Let me see.” Claire held a hand out and she gave the tablet over, “This one.”

“Thanks. Anything else?”

“Not that I can think of right now.”

“Cool.” She smiled and took the tablet back to its charging station. Claire used the second she was in the back to look around the store. It was dimly lit by artificial light, but more than made up for it with natural sunlight. She could see her dad sitting there and working on his phone. She came back and started cleaning up the espresso machine quietly before asking Claire. “How’s school going?”

“It’s going well. Oh! Here, I’ve been holding onto this before you went on your vacation. Hope you can use it here.” She fished the cup out from the bottom of her bag

“Oh god, this is so nice… you didn’t have to do that.” She took the cup and almost hugged it against her chest

“I wanted to… everyone else made something for their moms.” Claire looked down

“Oh.” She looked down at the cup that was so clearly meant for her and wanted to give it back to Claire. After all, shouldn’t she have done something for Court’s girlfriend? Claire sensed her apprehension and reassured her,

“I just don’t have a figure like that in my family right now… but the teacher was adamant.”

“Oh ew.” She laughed, “I hate it when teachers think they know better.”

“Yeah.” Claire smiled. Now that she was at ease, she tucked the cup behind the register and got back to work

“I hope you weren’t carrying it around for too long.”

“No, I had it on my shelf while you were gone.”

“Okay good. It’s lovely, but it looks like a pain to carry on top of textbooks and laptops in your bag.”

“It’s not that bad.” Claire shrugged. She felt her phone vibrate and looked at it. A message from Six.

“Where are you?”

“At… the coffee shop?” She said out loud while typing

“Hm?” The barista’s head perked up as she heard the noise

“Just texting my dad. I kind of skipped out on pick up.”

“Oh. I’m not going to get in trouble for having you here am I?”

Claire shook her head, “You’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” She gave her a half-smile and went back to her work. Claire kept looking at her phone, timing Six. On a normal day it’d take the two of them 20 minutes to get to the coffee shop, but she figured it’d take him fifteen minutes. As she looked, he was at 10 minutes. Five minutes later he entered the shop. On the dot.

“Claire.” He said, “I was worried.”

“I’m sorry. I know I should have told you, but I was about to miss the bus here.”

“You could have texted me.” He huffed a little bit before looking over at the barista and apologizing, “I’m sorry about this. I hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

“No it’s okay, I’ve missed seeing her.”

“And me?” He raised an eyebrow

“I don’t mind seeing you either.” She replied, “I already made Claire something, do you want anything?”

“Sure.” He nodded and she made him a drink. He took it carefully from her grasp and took a sip from it. It was still perfectly made. He sheepishly looked at her and said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She replied. He noticed her phone light up from behind the bar. He saw a quick name that definitely belonged to a man before the screen turned dark again.

“We should be going.” Six said after a minute

“Okay.” Claire sighed, “See you soon.”

“See you.” She smiled at Claire, “And… don’t be a stranger again. I miss having someone to talk to.”

“Okay.” Six replied and went out to his car. Claire followed behind him and got into the car before talking with him

“What’s going on?” She asked him as the car quietly revved up

“What do you mean?”

“I mean why are the two of you so icy?”

“It’s nothing Claire.”

“No. Six. Tell me what happened. You go one week from talking with her and driving her home, to getting out of the cafe like you’re running from a grenade. Tell me.” She demanded of him

“Alright, fine.” He exploded, “I lied to her.”

“What did you tell her?” She asked him again, her tone raising. He pulled off to the side of the road and stopped the car

“I told her I was seeing someone else!”

“Why?!”

“Because I couldn’t risk anything for your safety!” He looked at her. She looked back at him with blood boiling in her eyes.

“Don’t try to hide behind me for how you feel! If you don’t like her that’s fine but don’t tell me it’s for my own good or it’s to keep me safe when you’re too afraid to let someone near you!” She screamed. The silence in the car hung for a solid minute before he started the car back up. No words were exchanged between the two until they got home. “I know… it probably wasn’t right of me to say that Six.”

“You’re right, it wasn’t.” He said back, quickly

“But you told my uncle you’d do whatever it took to protect me.”

“I did.”

“That doesn’t mean you need to act like I’m a glass vase, and anyone getting close to me or you will break me.”

“I…”

“Don’t. Just go make this right.” She turned around and went into the house. He threw the car into reverse and went towards the coffee shop. He walked in to see that the girls were gossiping.

“I don’t know, if I was her I would not have been able to handle it that well.”

“Well that’s just because she’s so nice.”

“Girls.” He said in a low voice that made the girl who was facing away from him jump a foot off the ground

“Oh it’s you.” The girl that was facing him said, “I know it’s not really professional of me, but you’re kind of an assh…”

“I know. Spare me. Just… Could you tell me where she is?”

“She’s off.”

“I know that… You know what, I'll go look for her myself.” He stormed back out and started driving to her apartment. He saw her outside her apartment with an outfit on, much fancier than what she’d wear to the cafe. He made sure the car was parked safely before slamming the door shut. The noise startled her a little bit as she was about to get into her car. She looked behind her and saw him walking up to her.

“Court?”

“My name is Courtland Gentry. I am the adoptive father of Claire Fitzroy and I was assigned as an agent to protect her on orders from my superior officers Margaret Cahill and Fitzroy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I thought… to protect her I couldn’t let anyone near us. I didn’t think that I could find love. Or didn’t deserve it. That I was keeping everyone away for Claire’s safety. But then you came into our lives.”

“I… I’m about to go on a date…!” She yelled

“And I’ve fallen for you.” He yelled back, “I lied and told you I was with someone else to keep you away from me. But I still care about you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for weeks.”

“Court… Courtland.” She said with tears streaming down her face, “Just let me go.”

“Just tell me… do you still like me?” He asked. She remained silent for a second before saying

“Yes. I do like you.” She shook her head, “And it’s probably a mistake to be with you after all that’s happened, but I want to be with you.” He closed the distance between the two of them and pulled her into a kiss. She returned his kiss with an intense passion and pressed her hands up against his cheeks. He placed his hands on her waist and let his fingers sink into the fabric. She wrapped a leg around his back and he pressed his weight into her, making her stumble back towards the apartment door. She pulled away from him to open the door and pulled out her phone.

“What are you doing?” He asked

“I’m not rude, I’m going to text my date and say I won’t make it.”

“Oh.” He replied. He thumped the floor gently with his foot while he waited for her text to get sent. Waited in agony. What was probably only about 15 seconds felt like hours when Six was this close to having her. She tucked her phone away and ran down the hallway to her apartment. Six followed her and moved his hands back onto her hips as she opened the door. She dropped her keys and bent over, offering Six a wonderful view. She picked them up and he pressed his front half into her butt which startled her a little bit, forcing her to pick the keys up again. Not that he minded. She finally opened the door and threw her bag to the floor, tossing the keys onto the counter. She had hardly turned around to face him when Six picked her up off her feet.

He supported her with one hand on her back, her body flush against his, and let one hand linger up to her head. He ran his fingers through the roots of her hair and kissed her once more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips. He threw her down on the couch first and straddled her. Underneath him, she ripped her clothes off over her head and worked furiously at unhooking her bra. He threw his jacket and shirt onto the ground next to them. She grabbed at the waistband of his pants and worked them down as far as she could underneath him. He finished the rest for her and worked on her. He moved in and pressed his lips onto her neck. Her arms snaked behind him and rested on his shoulders as he did this. The kisses were soft, but rough around the edges and desperate. The hairs of his beard tickling her skin with every gentle move in to close the gap between their bodies. One of her hands moved from his shoulders to rest up at the nape of his neck. She ran a finger along the straight line where his hair ended and his skin started. He shivered and begged for her to touch him like that again. She did as he asked and made him shiver once more. After he got over the goosebumps forming on his arms he took her hands off him and got up. She sat up and looked at him before his eyes darted to the door to her bedroom. She nodded and followed behind him.

She got on the bed and laid flat before him. He moved quickly to get up on top of her again and thrusted into her. After he bottomed out he started off slow and watched her face to see how she was feeling. Her eyes shut for a second as she adjusted to the feeling, but opened her eyes back up when she got used to it. She looked back up at him with a look that told him to keep going. His pace remained slow for a bit as he tried to make sure he wasn’t pushing her too far. Her hands ended up back on his shoulders and he sped himself up. He worked from a slow, controlled pace to fast but even-tempo. Each pump of his body was more rugged than the last. He needed to be closer to her. He leaned over her and propped his body against hers. Her hand moved to rest on his shoulder blades, then lower when she saw him wince. She arched her back as he hit deeper inside of her. When he had found that sweet spot, his pace sped up and his thrusts were more erratic. His voice went from soft words to broken grunts and groans as he slammed into her. She moaned under him and bit his lip as he kissed her. He moaned into her mouth as he came inside of her. He rode out his orgasm and held onto her tightly as his body went limp. He laid on top of her and wrapped his arms around the center of her body. She held him tightly and kissed his cheek.

“What are we?” She asked

“I want to be with you.” He said confidently, “If you’ll have me.”

“I want to be with you too… Court?” She sounded confident up until she said his name

“Call me Six.” He kissed her lips

“Six?”

“Yeah, it was my code name… Claire still uses it with me.” She nodded as he explained himself. He rolled off her and onto her side. She rested her head on his shoulder and let her head roll to the side and she kissed his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and held her close. She listened to his breathing as it slowed down and her breathing synced with his. Her eyes fluttered shut and he pressed his nose into the crown of her head. His eyes got heavy and he felt himself drift to sleep. He felt comfortable with her there by his side, and he wanted this moment to never end.

[pretty-chips]

Howdy. I’ve started writing a thing and I want to share the beginnings of it, because I absolutely am too excited to keep it to myself. Here’s a lil’ snippet of the beginning of Electric Love, my Rocket x Brita work. let me know if you enjoy! Thanks to @raccoonfallsharder and my angel babies in the discord server for unearthing my desire to write.

I’ve never uploaded writing to tumblr, especially on mobile, so apologies if the format is weird! The spacing between paragraphs was a lot and that bugged me lol.

“You’re freaking joking. You haven’t seen Footloose yet??” Peter’s voice is kind of shrill, and it makes Rocket’s ears pin back. “DUDE, I’ve talked about it like a million times! You guys kidnapped Kevin freakin’ Bacon for me!”

Two hours of Peter Quill being back on Knowhere, and he’d already brought up stupid flarking Kevin Bacon twice. Sheesh. Rocket shrugs defensively, lifting his hands and gesturing wildly as they walk. “Dude, I don’t know! The only place I ever get earth movies is here in Knowhere and I’m, like…busy, I dunno.”

Peter stops in his tracks, his face screwed up in confusion and surprise. “Wait, there’s a place with earth movies here?”

“Yeah.” Rocket’s arms fold as he regards Quill with a raised eyebrow. “You didn’t know?”

Peter looks absolutely appalled. Offended, even. “NO, I did not know. What the heck, man! I thought you guys were just…getting them somehow with the satellite or something.” Peter holds his hand up to his eyes and scans around, a bit dramatically, and Rocket roll his eyes. “Where the crap is this store? We’re going. Right now.”

With an amused huff, Rocket starts walking and gestures over his shoulder for Quill to follow. “C’mon Pete. Let’s get your stupid movie.”

He catches Peter smiling. Good. That means he heard the ‘I missed you’ buried in those words.

~

“I think I’m going to go insane.”

Brita’s elbows slide across the counter as she holds her chin in her hands. “We’ve heard this song five times. Why can’t we play a radio station or something? We’ve got the satellites for it.” She glances out the big window by the front doors, her eyes flicking wistfully back and forth between every person walking past. They probably had more exciting lives than this.

Her coworker, currently alphabetizing a row of media disks, shrugs impatiently. She doesn’t even give Brita a side glance or anything.

Brita huffs and shuffles her feet back to lean down onto the counter even more, bent at quite the impressive 90 degree angle.

This coworker girl had proven to be quite a stick-in-the-mud, which made for a pretty lame conversation partner. And as awful as it made her feel, Brita still couldn’t remember her name. Calling her Krylorian Coworker has worked just fine in Brita’s brain, but that probably isn’t going to last very long without accidentally slipping out one day. Oh, well. Maybe soon she’ll pull a good old, ‘So how do you spell your name anyway?’

Brita had pretty much used every ice breaker she could think of today, which had very visibly worn Krylorian Coworker’s patience pretty thin. She had only really responded to like, three of them. Brita sighs, her gaze out the window again.

It wasn’t her fault that today had been so slow and sludgy. Like tromping through the sloppiest terrain of the swampiest planet. The ground would probably suck at her boots, making her legs magnet to the mushy ground and her whole body burn with exertion. It would probably be hot, too, the combination of muggy air and sweat plastering hair to her forehead. She’d push it out of her eyes, blinking away the blur, and she’d see a figure come into focus. A familiar figure also trekking through the muck in front of her, strong and stout legs visibly strained with effort. He’d be holding a big gun, of course, probably one with little red blinking lights that flash through the murky air. Air you could feel as you inhaled, such thick and humid air in this swampy environment. He’d turn his head back to look at her, pretty auburn eyes alight with mirth. That fluffy ringed tail would swish behind him, an ear flicking as he opens his mouth to say something clever…

“You’re daydreaming, Brita.”

Krylorian Coworker stares, a hand on one hip and her eyebrow raised. “I can literally see you disappearing.”

Brita blinks hard, the yellow lighting of the media store melting away the trees and mud from her imagination. She lets out a breath as she comes back to reality, straightening up and stretching her arms above her head. “And that’s why I wanted some new music. I’m getting bored out of this dimension.”

Coworker shakes her head, huffing in amusement as she goes back to her alphabetizing.

Brita gives her own huff, and walks around the counter. It’d be better to actually do something with herself. Maybe she should alphabetize like Boring Coworker.

She makes her way down a couple aisles of holo-vid disks, glancing at the labels. She smiles, her heart doing that skipping thing it always does when she thinks about her favorite things. She’d apparently subconsciously wandered to her favorite section, the Terran holo-vids. Movies, she knows they’re called, but that’s not universal enough according to boss man who was in charge of this d’ast store. And the tech is different, anyway, he’d said. Whatever, Brita knew better than that old fart.

Her fingers run along the labels, stopping to reminisce at a few favorites. One day she was going to consume every single piece of Terran media in the store, and even further one day, the whole Terran planet. Every movie, every song, every book…everything.

Ring-ding-ling.

The little bell on the door announces, after at least an hour of nothing, a living being. Brita leans back, angling her head to look at the front doors. A guy with somewhat curly hair and a red leather jacket is stepping through, looking…amazed, actually. As he makes his way towards the aisle she’s standing in, Brita studies him further and is pretty sure she recognizes the things on his t-shirt. Her eyes widen.

An earth dude!

Before she can even process her body moving, she’s in front of him, all smiles. “Hi, how are ya?”

The guy blinks at her, seemingly coming out of some kind of trance, and his face lights up. “How long has this place been here? I’ve never noticed a…what, record store-slash-bookstore-slash-Blockbuster?”

Brita figures that’s an earth thing, and her heart flutters in excitement.

“Yeah, maybe a few months? Short enough lots of people haven’t been in yet, long enough it feels like ages if you’re working here.” She grins, leaning against the shelf next to her casually.

The comment lands, and the guy laughs. “I get that. But, I feel like this is probably the coolest place to work in all of…anywhere. You’ve got something from every planet I know the name of in here, just from what I can tell right away. That’s freakin’…epic.”

His enthusiasm is intoxicating. Brita beams at him, anxious to make this interaction last as long as possible. “Oh, dude, believe me, it is epic. Working here has permanently changed my life. I get to hear earth music and talk about movies…that’s a dream.”

He lights up even more, which Brita didn’t even think was possible, and his big open-mouthed smile says, “You like earth movies?”

She feels a beautiful conversation brewing, the feeling punctuated with Coworker’s exasperated sigh from across the counter, and Brita nods with a grin.

“Hell yeah I like earth movies.”

She’s not even sure how many minutes pass, she’s so enveloped in her favorite conversation she’s ever had. They gush over their favorites, which somehow don’t overlap at all even though they’re both familiar with everything brought up. The difference in taste is almost comical to her. She feels like she could be here for days, the world could pass away and she’d be completely content just standing here, talking to this man in a red jacket. Brita doesn’t even process her surroundings until she hears someone clearing their throat behind her.

Snapped back to earth, she realizes Coworker is raising a brow. Right. Work. Job.

“Sorry,” she laughs lightly and folds her arms as she leans against the shelf again, “you were looking for which one?”

“Oh, yeah. Footloose, can you believe Drax and Rocket both haven’t seen it yet, even though it’s the greatest movie of all time…”

Every muscle in her body stiffens. Her folded arms tighten against her chest and she feels her fingers dig into her arms. He’s still talking, she can tell with his mouth still moving, but nothing he says is reaching her ears anymore.

Rocket. Rocket. All she can see now are those bourbon eyes. A voice rings back into her processing, but not the voice of the dude, it’s deep and rumbles through her core. This guy, this Terran guy, was friends with Rocket. An earth dude that’s friends with Rocket AND Drax, how did he get so lucky…

Suddenly, it clicks.

“Wait, wait, stop.” She knows she’s interrupting, and she doesn’t care. “You’re freaking Peter Quill.”

He mouth quirks into a bit of a confused grin, one eyebrow inching up. “Uh, yeah I am.”

She blinks at him. She knows she looks stupid. “Sorry, I didn’t, uh, I didn’t... Not to be, like, weird, y’know. I just. That’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to actually talk to the guardians, they seem like, such…incredible friends. I hear about you all the time.”

His smile is sly, but there’s a heartwarming expression in his eyes. “They talk about me, huh?” He nods and glances over behind her shoulder. “…They are the best friends I’ve ever had.”

Before she can respond, another voice materializes behind her. One she’s only heard once, months and months ago in real life, but countless times in her imagination. Gravelly yet liquid gold at the same time.

“Pete, holy crap, d’you get lost or what?”

Peter Quill smirks and lifts a hand in mild defense. “Just talkin’ to…” he glances at her name badge, “Brita here about stupid earth movies, man.”

Brita is frozen in place. She desperately begs her brain to send any kind of signal to her body, to make it move, but it’s complete radio silence up there.

The presence behind her moves past, then stands next to Peter Quill. That tail swishes casually and those ears flick, just like in her dreams.

Peter is saying something. She tries to tune in. “Brita, this is my buddy Rocket.”

The furry face tilts his chin up in a nod. The auburn eyes flit up and down her body, studying her.

“How ya doin’?” Says Rocket Raccoon, who is standing directly in front of her on purpose for the first time ever.

Brita can feel how huge her eyes are, the skin above her cheeks and under her eyebrows feels strained. She probably looks ridiculous. Why can’t she say anything? She glances at Coworker for a lifeline. A clue of what she should even do right now.

Krylorian Coworker’s eyes widen, and for the first time since Brita can remember, she looks genuinely interested in what’s happening in front of her. Coworker has been told possibly way too much about the hearty interest in this particular guardian of the galaxy. The subject of all of the daydreams Brita keeps getting caught in. The one that brought her here, to Knowhere, even though he definitely had no idea that was the case.

Brita can feel her mouth opening and closing, and she just knows she looks like a stupid fish. She smashes her mouth shut and conjures up a smile that is probably a little too big. She forces a word out of her mouth.

“Hi!”

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Christmas 2023 ‘Hark the Herald’ Event Story - Part 1

Prologue

-alleyway-

ran: Wassup, Sotetsu.

sotetsu: It's not often that you call me out, what do you want?

ran: Isn't it obvious when we're meetin' in a place like this? I'd like ya to introduce me to a little friend of yours. One that’ll tell ya anythin’ as long as ya pay up.

sotetsu: You want me to find you a hookup?

ran: No! Naughty ain't ya. Who I want ya to introduce me to is one of ya work partners. Someone who knows their stuff and is nearby would be good.

sotetsu: ...Ohh, I get it now. You want me to introduce you to someone that knows the details behind that bombing incident that happened recently, right?

ran: So ya knew after all. Yep, that's what I'm after. If ya cooperate with me I'll pay up the fee myself too.

sotetsu: Don't talk like we don't know each other. We're coworkers aren't we? I wouldn't want to take money from you.

ran: Ew gross, what are ya scheming?

sotetsu: I can introduce you, sure, but in return what I want is... For you to introduce me to the person that's backing you.

ran: What? 

ran: ....... (serious)

sotetsu: Hey now that reaction wasn't very like you. Come to think of it, is the reason you're out here searching for the culprit yourself because you made a mistake?

ran: ...I was just waitin’ for the right moment to delve into it.

sotetsu: No need to glare at me like that cause I hit the nail on the head. I can tell you're getting anxious about it. A fair amount of time has passed since that incident, so the fact you're still interested in it now and even asking me for help says something. At a stalemate are you?

ran: Tch…

sotetsu: So, what'll it be? An introduction for an introduction, its a pretty even deal is it not?

ran: ....... (serious)

sotetsu: Not accepting or withdrawing huh? In that case, how about we do this. The upcoming Christmas show is planned to be a Team K solo show, so let's make it a versus against Team B instead. If you win then I'll introduce you to my guy at a discount price. But if K win, then you'll accept my previous condition.

ran: Since it's meant to be a K solo doesn't that give ya an advantage?

sotetsu: It can't be helped that a small advantage like that is in play.

ran: Stingy~ Fine whatever, it makes things simpler. I'll bite.

sotetsu: I'll come up with a good excuse for the versus to happen. Make sure you play along with me. 

-sotetsu leaves, street, night-

sotetsu: Looks like things are gonna get interesting.

—end

-

Chapter 1 

-starless office-

saki: Excuse me.

unei: There's no time left, we need to decide the event program that will be held alongside the Christmas performance today!

ginsei: I know... But no ideas are coming to mind. We need to make sure it's something even better than last years...

sotetsu: Why not just crack open some party poppers?

ran: Bleh that's so lazy.

ginsei: Don't interrupt us, Ran. Hmm...

ran: Oh, Nee-chan's here! Welcome!

ginsei: Oh, welcome, Princess. Sorry I didn't notice you come in.

saki: It's fine, don't mind me. You all look like you're in the middle of something.

-kongou walks in-

kongou: Could I have a moment? I just wanted to confirm our stock for the Christmas period... Wait, huh? Where's Kei?

unei: He had something important that he needed to attend to today so he's absent. I'll look at it for you.

sotetsu: .......

kongou: Thanks, I wanted to make sure we stock up on some extra cake ingredients...

sotetsu: ...Say, why don't we make the Christmas event plan something to do with food?

ginsei: Like?

sotetsu: How about a pie fight? It'll be a blast. You're going to be ordering a mountain's worth of cream either way right? It's the perfect opportunity.

ginsei: You're joking right?

kongou: Wait a moment, an event like that... Food should not be treated in such a way.

sotetsu: In other parts of the world they hold things like tomato throwing festivals and cheese rolling festivals. There's even champagne fights, why not bring that sorta energy to the store?

kongou: Bring it here? No way... I refuse to make a pie for the purpose of throwing it at people.

sotetsu: So you're saying you won't cooperate with this store's event?

kongou: I cook food for the guests to enjoy, not to just mess around with.

sotetsu: I see, if you're not going to budge then I have no choice... If that's how it's gonna be, let's make it a versus.

kongou: What?

ran: ....!

sotetsu: The Christmas show will be a versus between Kongou and I. If I win then after the closing show we'll have a pie fight.

ginsei: Hey, Sotetsu! Don't go deciding everything yourself!

sotetsu: Weren't you just stressing over the fact we have no special program? Why not liven the show up with a versus. Oh right, Team B have been all over the place lately, haven't they? Maybe you're too busy sorting out your internal affairs.

ran: What was that? Don't act like ya have anythin' to do with us, back off.

sotetsu: You interfered with our planning first with your own comment earlier.

ran: Bastard... Ya think I can just stay quiet after ya provoke me like that? Bring it on. Kongou, let's accept this fight.

kongou: Ran! Don't just decide that before we've discussed it with our team...

unei: Um, so... The upcoming show will be a versus between Team K and Team B then!?

sotetsu: Yep, that’s how it is. We better get the promotional material ready quickly to make it in time.

unei: I just placed an order for the flyers earlier too! I'll have to make a correction right away!

-unei runs off-

kongou: How did things turn out this way...?

ginsei: What should I do...

ran: Sotetsu, ya bastard.

sotetsu: If you have a problem then tell it to me on the stage.

saki: (Things have gotten out of hand...)

—end

-

Chapter 2

-break room-

kei: Rejected.

ginsei: I thought so.

kei: There is no point even considering an event such as that.

kongou: Agreed, thank goodness.

saki: (Well that was expected...)

unei: U-um about that... Sorry but I've already had the flyers changed. The versus has been announced on our website too, all of the guests already know about it...

kei: ...... (annoyed sigh)

unei: I-I'm sorry! If I didn't place the order right away they wouldn't have gotten here in time, so...!

kei: ...It cannot be helped now. It's sudden, but we shall proceed with the versus performance.

kongou: If you say so then... ok. I'll let Mizuki and the others know.

saki: (So the versus really is going ahead...)

kei: After the closing show, the winning team will present their choice of special menu to the guests. If Team K win, we will have a champagne tower. In the case that Team B win, you must also decide on what you'd like. You got that, Kongou?

kongou: Yeah. I'll talk to my team about it and let you know. I'll be going now then.

-kongou leaves-

kei: We shall also be holding a team meeting henceforth. Gather everyone.

ginsei: Y-yes!

-ginsei leaves-

unei: I'll get back to work as well!

-unei leaves-

kei: (sighs)

saki: Um, I'm sorry Kei-san... I was there during the versus discussion but wasn't able to stop them...

kei: There is nothing in which you need to apologise for. Rather, it is I who must apologise for the fact you had to see such an unsightly mess.

saki: Oh no, it's ok...

kei: Things have taken an unexpected turn, but we shall make the best of it. I vow to you that you'll enjoy this year's Christmas Eve from the bottom of your heart. Please look forward to it.

—end

-

SideA Chapter 1

-rehearsal room-

kei: —Due to these aforementioned circumstances, our performance has been hastily changed to be a versus against Team B.

yakou: I had heard it would be a versus, but that was the last reason I was expecting…

yoshino: No matter how you look at it that was mean of you, Sotetsu.

sotetsu: It's not like I expected things to go this far either though? I didn't know the conversation would end up going that way.

yoshino: You're the one who egged him on though. It's not good to do that.

sotetsu: I only got involved because Ginsei was standing around struggling to come up with any good ideas.

ginsei: I'm sorry... This is all my fault...

gui: It's Ginsei's fault that we're fighting against B?

yoshino: No it's Sotetsu's fault, Gui.

yakou: There's no way we can throw pies around... That's not something you do in front of guests. I agree with Kongou, maybe I should go to their side.

sotetsu: You're all really having a go at me huh. Shouldn't we all be working together as one and aiming for victory? C'mon we're all friends aren't we?

yoshino: (sighs)

kei: Setting aside your sarcastic remarks, the fact this is now a versus obviously means that we shall take victory.

ginsei: Yes. It was originally meant to be our solo performance after all, there's no way we'll lose. I'm relieved that thanks to Kei stepping in we don't have to worry about the pie fight anymore at least.

yakou: If we win we'll be having a champagne tower right?

ginsei: I wouldn't expect any less from Kei, its flashy and fitting of Team K.

yakou: Mm...

yoshino: Is something the matter, Yakou?

yakou: Champagne is pricey so, I'm worried about the budget... Plus there are guests who dislike alcohol, so how will we cater to them?

gui: There are drinks that look similar to champagne and have no alcohol in them.

yoshino: Oh true, if we use that then anyone can drink it. It's a good idea.

yakou: That could work. I'll discuss it with Unei-kun later. Thanks, Gui.

kei: It's time, rehearsal starts now. Work hard to each improve your abilities upon the stage.

—end

-

SideB Chapter 1

-rehearsal room-

hinata: What, you're having a versus performance!? Are you for real! And to think Kongou was the one who started it. Hey did you get into a fight or something?

kongou: Ngh....

lico: Shut up already. As if Kongou would do that. Sigh... Why'd it suddenly become a versus, I had things planned y'know.

kongou: I'm sorry for doing something selfish, Lico. You too, Mizuki, I should have spoken to you first.

mizuki: I don’t care about that. Your fight is our fight.

lico: I heard Ran was present too though.

heath: Ran was?

lico: You fanned the flames, didn't you?

ran: What? Kongou and our team were bein’ made fun of right in front of my face. I couldn't just sit back n’ let us be looked down on, sorry—!

lico: Sigh... Well whatever, it's already been decided.

heath: ......

mizuki: Yeah, course we'd accept that fight! Let's fuck em up, you good to go, Heath?

heath: Yeah... I have an idea for the song. It means we get to perform more too, let's do it.

hinata: Aw, I'm so jelly. Hey hey, versus’ have a winner and a loser right? What do you get if we win?

kongou: After the closing show the winning team will treat the guests to their choice of special menu. If K win they said they'll be doing a champagne tower.

hinata: Champagne tower?? Hahah what the hell that's so funny!

mizuki: What even is that?

-hinata looks up a pic on his phone and shows mizuki-

hinata: It looks like this, you stack a bunch of glasses up and pour champagne over them. They do them at host clubs to celebrate and stuff.

mizuki: Huh.

ran: You've probably seen em before right Lico? I doubt ya were ever asked to do one though!

lico: Excuse me? Of course I've done them before.

kongou: If we win we should do something that's just as flashy...

mizuki: Drinks are boring! We should have meat, a massive hunk of meat!

ran: Meat sounds good! I'm on team meat!

kongou: Got it, then our special menu will be a showy meat dish.

—end

-

SideA Chapter 1 extra

-behind starless, evening-

sotetsu: ...... (smoking)

-kei walks up-

kei: Sotetsu.

sotetsu: Hm? Oh, rare to see you out here. What do you want?

kei: Regarding this versus, what exactly is your aim?

sotetsu: Woah where's this coming from? What do you mean?

kei: Whilst it's true that you enjoy to jest, it’s also a fact you value that which brings you benefit. The reasoning that led to this versus was sloppy, but I don't believe it was merely done on a whim. To go as far as to get the store involved, what is it that you're scheming?

sotetsu: Nothing gets passed you huh. Well since you've got that much figured out already I'll fill you in. It's as you thought, due to some unavoidable circumstances I had to make the show a versus.

kei: And what are these circumstances?

sotetsu: It's a very personal matter. In fact it has nothing to do with the store whatsoever. Or Saki. It doesn't even involve Kongou.

kei: ...... (considering)

sotetsu: How was that? You more relaxed now?

kei: I understand for the most part.

sotetsu: Good good, then—

kei: However, if your conduct interferes with us any more than this then prepare to make a sacrifice of equal worth. If your actions impact the store further then you shall not be pardoned. That is all.

-kei leaves-

sotetsu: Meaning I'm one step away from suffering his wrath huh?

—end

-

SideB Chapter 1 extra

-starless kitchen-

ran: Hey, Kongou. Ya got a moment?

kongou: Oh Ran, you were still here?

ran: I have somethin' I need to say to ya.

kongou: What is it? Is this about our special menu?

ran: No, it's about the versus. I'm sorry! It's all because I said somethin' unnecessary.

kongou: ......

ran: I wanted to at least apologise.

kongou: Ah... No it's ok, it's nothing that you need to apologise for. I was the one who started it after all, so don't worry about it.

ran: No, I wouldn't say ya did...

heath: You started it, didn't you, Ran?

kongou: Heath.

heath: Ran's colour looked obscured.

ran: Ah... So ya did notice then Heath.

kongou: Huh? Did you do something, Ran?

ran: Well some stuff just happened here an' there with Sotetsu! So it's more like you're the one who got mixed up in this, Kongou.

kongou: Oh...

ran: I'm seriously sorry!

kongou: So that's what's going on. I had been wondering why you were acting strangely docile.

ran: I know that I'm bein' selfish, but this is somethin' that I really had to go ahead with.

kongou: Well, if you've got your reasons then I won't pry... However I'd appreciate you giving me a heads up next time.

heath: I've caused you all a lot of trouble up until now as well. So if it's something that you need to do, then I'm on your side.

ran: Thank ya, both of you! Kongou, I'll make sure to repay this debt to you in full. If you ever pick a fight with someone let me know! We can beat the crap outta them together!

kongou: Ah... Sure, but I don’t have any plans like that…

—end

To Part 2

[surrexi]

so i've been working at my new job for a little over two months now. i'm supposed to be having weekly one-on-one meetings with my boss to track how i'm settling in etc but because he's outrageously busy (like, the kind of busy that indicates there really should be two people with his job) i'm really having them every two weeks or so.

anyway i had one today, about an hour and a half before the end of the day. and it was going all right, if a little awkward because i'm a socially awkward penguin and i don't know how to mask right yet in corporate land. we were going over the various projects i'm working on, pretty normal, except every so often my boss would make an aside comment that would make me worry Something Was Wrong.

finally at the end of the meeting he's like "so there's a couple things that have been brought to my attention" (did not specify what things, like if it was something i said or i way i handled a situation or work that i did). he sends me a link to a training module he's working on building and points out a specific section that talks about a particular business dude's book about how to be a good team member, which says the key is to be humble, hungry, and (people-)smart.

boss is like "before i talk to you about [the unspecified reasons i am being made to feel vaguely in trouble], i want you to look this over and think about it. and we'll pick this up in our next meeting."

which is currently scheduled for next friday, but he's traveling that day so he absolutely might put it off longer.

he also made sure to say multiple times that if someone doesn't agree with this business dude's take on team building it's fine but also it means they won't fit on boss' team and to mention that although "many states" are at-will employment states (meaning during your first 90 days an employer can fire you without having a reason; note that texas is one such state but he weirdly didn't mention it), the company we work for "doesn't do that," which boss thinks is "very generous" of them because when he was a disney exec disney would absolutely fire the shit out of people at the drop of a hat.

so now i have NO IDEA what i did to make someone upset and/or angry at me or what i did wrong, but by god i have at least a week to obsess over (a) what i did and (b) who the fuck narc'd on me without idk TALKING TO ME FIRST?!

boss has said way more about his weird libertarian politics than i have about my own politics, i have only mentioned my religion in passing/in the context of discussing easter weekend plans with a coworker. i don't think i've behaved inappropriately or confrontationally with any of my coworkers, like with my anxiety i'm always worrying about doing my best to be clear and polite and not make people hate me lolsob.

the only thing i've thought of so far is that i've been pretty firm about working 8-hour days/40-hour weeks unless there's a concrete reason to graciously donate my time since my company doesn't do overtime pay and i'm salaried/exempt. like i have never said i would never work overtime and there's already been several days where i worked an extra 30 minutes to an hour that, again, i do not get paid for. unsurprisingly, boss frames being salaried as "we get to work more than 40 hours a week without it being a hassle because of overtime rules." and i do make offhand pro-labor comments/jokes a lot, but i haven't actually, like, threatened to unionize my fellow office workers. i live in texas ffs, if you say the word union too loud the cops show up.

i just feel like this is unhinged levels of psychological warfare from my boss and it took me SO LONG to find this job but now i'm like... maybe i'm not a good fit for your humble/hungry/smart team, bro. but god knows i don't want to be unemployed again. i just got decent health insurance! i can pay my own rent! and buy groceries and medicine!

ugh. why is everything hard.

[night-dark-woods]

hi everyone please wish me luck not slaughtering my egotistical manchild coworkers who have repeatedly lied to my fucking face please. thank you.

events under the cut bc my complaining got so long.

- i am the inventory coordinator. it is my literal formal job title. i count the inventory i shoot the outs i handle item replacements when something is discontinued, price changes, defectives/thefts, and product resets.

- this role does not actually give me the authority to scold people it just makes it my responsibility to fix. i get my job done by doing an elaborate dance of staying on everyone's good side like a spy going through bank vault lasers.

- gay republican dickhead hardware manager (i am one of two people who has an even marginally good working relationship with him. but he will never be fired bc the store owner likes him) has decided that im not doing outs as frequently as he wants (it was holiday season. and i had covid. and also no one recovers their fucking sections so a 7 section aisle takes me an hour bc the old hardware men are too busy talking about how back in their day domestic abuse was fine to front and face).

- he decided a month ago to delegate this to the guy who has literally had his product ordering privileges revoked for ordering five THOUSAND key rings and FIFTEEN HUNDRED YARDSTICKS. because he doesnt understand order multiples.

- we had an argument about it bc i have CHECKED this man's work before and literally half of them were wrong, and i asked him POLITELY not to fucking count. he has tried to zero the same item that people love to take off the hook and leave sitting on the shelf below it. SIX TIMES. in the last few months. SIX. TIMES. it has been SITTING on the SHELF in FULL VIEW. and he has tried to zero it.

- i thought this was settled, because Gay Republican has been checking in with me before counting stuff.

- today i came in and Incompetent Guy had some stuff in the counting program (unfinalized). i was like okay fine whatever. ill check on it before i finalize what i have to do. and then i went to do it and his stuff was gone! and i was like huh. hey Gay Republican did you finalize it? and he was like no. and i was like huh. so i check the record and Incompetent Guy finalized it HIMSELF.

- this retroactively makes sense of all the times he's Skedaddled avoiding eye contact away from the computer when i come over to do smth, like a dog with something in its mouth it knows it shouldnt have.

- i lose my shit in the back to a different coworker and also text the gm about how to pull his permissions, he definitely overhears me. i also complain to store manager.

- i figure out how to pull permissions and do it.

- Incompetent Guy (who has been avoiding me) walks by me an hour later and then makes a joke to Gay Republican about how he's "going to have to start taking notes again."

FUCKING. MAYBE DONT GO BEHIND MY BACK TRYING TO DO MY JOB WHEN YOU CANT DO IT AND IVE EXPLICITLY ASKED YOU NOT TO!!!

if youre WORRIED im not on top of it. or you WANT me to delegate. FUCKING TELL ME LIKE A CIVIL ADULT. dont go behind my FUCKING BACK like a CHILD.

because this ALL ENDS UP MY PROBLEM TO FUCKING FIX IN THE END. and if you just LET ME DO MY LITERAL JOB. AND DO YOUR OWN. it will take me TWENTY MINUTES. but instead we have to be FUCKING children about it and heres the thing i WILL win the fucking blackmail backstab game if you want to play that way!!! because im on fucking everyones good side!!!

[bitacrytic]

The Lunch

Kinn had imagined everything possible, from a banquet to an extravagant street meal, to a picnic. Everything. What he’d never anticipated, was to be sitting in the open garden in the minor mansion, watching the minor family employees pass out packs of food, while they watched Porsche take down guard after guard after guard... in a mud-pit.

Vegas wouldn’t stop laughing, from the moment Kinn showed up.

“This is such a bad idea for you to be here,” he’d said right to Kinn’s face, before he’d disappeared into the mansion.

Pete had been kind enough to stay by Kinn’s side. But that didn’t do much for Kinn’s anxiety, every time Porsche went diving in the pit, writhing and rolling around with strange men, who got to cup a feel every once in a while. Kinn was keeping track. He was watching their leering eyes and he hated that he had to experience this. Damn it, maybe Vegas was right.

“How is this a lunch?” he’d asked.

“We’re eating, Khun-Kinn,” Pete had replied, his cheeks packed full with chicken and potatoes.

“But... why?” Kinn asked again, abandoning his plate of food. The minor family needed a better diet. They ate anything. Drank everything. Didn’t work out as much. No wonder ten of them were worth one main family guard. 

“They get a price.”

“What price?”

“I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

“Pete.”

“Look, you’re the one who chose to come here today, so you can’t be mad.”

“Mad about what?”

Pete sighed. “The official price is an added month off-duty.”

“Official price? What does that mean?”

“That there’s another price that the men are actually fighting for?” Pete replied, a small frown on his face. “It’s a running gag, at this point. Porsche has no idea what he’s offering.”

“What is he offering?”

“He offered the off-duty thing but no one took the bait. Then as a joke, he mentioned that anyone who can topple him gets a blow job.”

“What?” Kinn sat up.

“As a joke. When people started signing up, he thought they were doing it for the spare time.”

“What?” Kinn asked again, completely flabbergasted. “What the hell? Pete, we have to tell him that’s what he’s offering.” Kinn stood, but Pete dropped his food, immediately grabbing Kinn by the arm and dragging him from the garden, into the building.

Kinn was so shocked by Pete’s boldness that he went with it. As soon as they were alone, Pete dropped his hands, wincing a bit.

“Sorry about that, Khun-Kinn but you can’t tell him.”

“Your creepy coworkers are trying to- what the fuck, Pete?”

“No one is actually ever going to topple Porsche. It’s good for morale. He’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

Pete scoffed. “Yes, I do. Porsche keeps up with the main family diet, his workout is consistent and he trains like he’s still a fucking bodyguard.”

As they returned to the lunch, Kinn forced himself to sit through it all. Eight more men got in the pit, one after the other, attempting to topple Porsche. And each time, Kinn’s heart rose to his chest in physical pain.

***

That night, as Porsche got out of the shower, Kinn was already in bed, having chosen to spend the night at the minor mansion.

“Something on your mind?” Porsche asked.

“I was told to keep it a secret.”

Porsche turned around to face him while wearing his pajama pants, eyes bright with mischief.

“You have to share.”

Kinn didn’t even need much prodding. “Are you aware that you’ve offered to suck your employees’ cock if they ever topple you?”

Porsche laughed. “Is that the secret?”

Kinn sat up. “You know?”

“I’m the one who made the offer, Kinn.”

“I’m so confused.”

“The men are excited about it. Plus, they get to think they have one up on me. Win win.” He climbed into bed with Kinn. “Now, how about I make you the same offer. Topple me and I’ll blow you.”

Kinn didn't know what to feel. A part of him was a little worried to realize that Porsche was shaping up to be the kind of man who was worthy of being a mafia leader. While that was something Kinn openly claimed to be proud of, secretly, he wasn’t so sure how to feel about his boyfriend learning to manipulate everyone, so easily.

--

--

--

Read Another

[spanishrose2002]

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don’t like things that involve children/underage people engaging in inappropriate behavior. I also don’t like non-consensual stuff, and if I do it because of a certain reason in a fic, I warn heavily for it.  I just prefer not to have those kinds of things in my stories, so I certainly wouldn’t write them as tropes or anything like that.   💲 Would you ever open commissions? I certainly would if someone wanted something original.  However, I mostly write fanfiction, so that means that I cannot do that.  It’s illegal and unethical.  I know some fanfic writers do it and have done it, in the past, but it really threatens the whole community, and I wouldn’t do that.   🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories? I spend way too much time researching for some fics.  I know more about some topics, now, than I ever really need to know--like the mating of cows. 🏆 What's your most popular fic? I could be wrong, but I would say it’s probably Broken Mirrors.  I think that’s my only really popular fic and, to be honest, it has long since kind of lost it’s charm for the community.  It’s just old hat, at this point.  It had its day, though. 🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic? I adore holiday fics.  I write them year ‘round and for every ship that I write.  I would love to write more of them.  I am a fall and winter holiday fic person. Which one is my favorite?  That’s probably impossible to say.  I’ve written quite a few that I love for different reasons.  I’d say that they all have their charm, at least for me. 🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which? I mean, at this point, the running joke for anyone who reads several of my fics is when is the baby coming in.  That one is funny, too, because I have been harassed so much, in the past, for writing pregnancy/baby/kid fics that it almost became an act of rebellion to accept that I like what I like, and I’m going to do what I want.   My fics are like King cakes.  Where’s the baby?  You know it’s in there. 🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories? I would adore any art that my fics inspired someone to create!   📈 How many fics do you have? Currently, I have 421.  There are a few one shots that I hope to write, maybe even today.  Several of my fics are 400,000 to 500,000 words, and a great deal of them are at least 100,000 to 200,000 words. 🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants? I do a little of both. 👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Does that mean not yet started?  I don’t have any in the can right now that aren’t in progress.  I can tell you about Rupture, which is the latest one.  It’s going to be a lovely little fantasy-esque adventure full of warmth, found family, friends, and humor.   🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip? “Fine,” he said.  “But—You hold my hand.  If we get snatched into some other world, or universe, or whatever, I’ma end up in the same damn place as you.” 

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon? I’d rather nobody I know irl see any of my fics unless I invite them to do so.   ✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to? Family themes, friend themes, babies and children, redemption, overcoming trauma, acceptance and love...etc.   📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career? I wish I could!  (Fiction writing, that is.  I chose to step away from the non-fiction writing that could have been part of my career.) ⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter? If I’m inspired (and especially if someone is hyping me up), I can realistically do about 8,000 to 10,000 words of fic on a weekend day.   🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)? I struggle with A LOT!  I really struggle with smut and action, but there’s a lot that I’m just not very good at writing.  LOL  I still do it, though, because it amuses me.   💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart? The Roses Still Grow in Georgia and Winter, even though they have their heartwarming moments, too.   

[sealionfriends]

so job #1 (another vet's office) called today to offer me the job. they offered less $ than what i make now. they seemed cool, office is very nice, good benefits, generally had a friendlier vibe than where i work now (i like a lot of my coworkers and we can joke around but my supervisor has made the team too divided and brought some toxic vibes). i could do just fine on the salary they offered me (it's what i was making a year and a half ago) but like what's the point? except for getting away from my toxic supervisor.

interview for job #2 (work from home pet insurance) went ok. i had prepared for behavioral questions (which they asked lots of) and talking about why i was interested in the job and the company (which they asked absolutely nothing about). i hadn't thought to prepare for technical questions and my mind went absolutely blank at some of them that i really should have known. so that was embarrassing. but some others i answered confidently right away. idk. they haven't asked for references yet which is making me anxious. i guess worst case i can keep applying to jobs at other insurance companies and remember to study technical stuff before. the one other insurance company i applied at didn't even get back to me but there's lots out there.

[shatar-aethelwynn]

I posted 5,571 times in 2022

That's 3,016 more posts than 2021!

417 posts created (7%)

5,154 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@somecunttookmyurl

@bubobubosibericus

@a-tempest-in-a-teapot

@23-tiny-wishes

@rudjedet

I tagged 691 of my posts in 2022

#academic fun - 44 posts

#i made a thing - 22 posts

#stitchy goals - 21 posts

#the bin of holding - 11 posts

#want - 10 posts

#christianity - 7 posts

#omg - 6 posts

#gnu terry pratchett - 5 posts

#same - 4 posts

#yes please - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#why is 'unsolicited adult content' not a reporting category unless it's at harassment levels? does sporadic randomness count as harassment?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

This is your regularly scheduled reminder: Sarcasm and other forms of verbal joking generally require tone of voice, facial/body cues, or a previously established relationship to be understood as humorous. Text is famously not very good at conveying tone of voice or facial cues. There are methods developing for this, but they are not yet universally consistent. Humor is also partially cultural, and we live in a multicultural world where what you and your friends recognize to be a common form of joking may be unfamiliar to someone else, and therefore not immediately recognized as being intended as humor. When you attempt to make sarcastic jokes to someone who does not know you, do not be surprised if they do not assume the tone of voice you imagine and instead assume you are being serious and react accordingly. This is not necessarily malicious on anyone's part, but it is a great source of miscommunication on sites such as this where text is the primary mode of communication. Please be considerate.

523 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

#4

Took a trip to the MET yesterday, orimarily to see the new Polychromy and Kimono exhibits. Since I was asked to report back on them (is if you could stop me) prepare for photos!

While there was a video that had a digital reconstruction of a piece that included a lot of shading and depth most of the recreation pieces were painted with simple solid colors. There are reasons for this. So while it's likely that the painting was more intricate in antiquity, it was fun to see all the many colors used.

See the full post

684 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

#3

Cursed mental image: Greek gods but with the heads of animals they're associated with in the manner of the Roman Egyptian statues. Athena's owl head turns 180 degrees to look at you. Zeus shows up with an eagle's head and ok, weird, but Horus is a falcon so it's fine. The next day he has a swan's head and its time to back away in a hurry because we don't mess with those demons. Poseidon...dolphin heads don't belong on people bodies. The horse isn't much better. Ares is outside playing frisbee with Anubis.

904 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#2

Today in "I don't think that means what I think you mean": overheard a coworker tell the boss someone had "a liturgy of questions" and I'm just sat there going "..what??" Litany. A litany of questions. A litany can be part of a liturgy, but a liturgy is not a litany.

This has been your "words that sound similar but aren't, isn't English fun" lesson of the day.

1,765 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It's the year 2460 and a small debate has errupted. The cause: a photo of an early 21st century American street where a sign saying "shots available" can be seen. Someone has made the claim that this sign is for an ammunitions store because "projectile ammunition is counted by the number of shots it has available, and everyone in America had guns at this time". The weapons enthusiasts swarm over this claim, angry over this blatant inaccuracy. Everyone is about to learn about period arms whether they want to or not. The historians and linguistic experts of the period are appealed to and they explain that it likely refers to vaccines but a few who have not seen the image say that a less likely but plausible alternative was for alcoholic beverages depending on the location the sign was found. A not insignificant group of non-experts insists that they are all wrong and that it refers to a persons-connection service on the basis that one "takes a shot" when seizing an opportunity or entering into a relationship. If shots are "available" they can "be taken". This prompts a few "*winkwinknudgenudge* take a shot" comments. One wiseass says maybe it was a typo and was supposed to say "shorts available" prompting a thorough breakdown of how corporate signage was created and distributed at the time. "X Available" signs become a meme for a period. Everyone agrees that English was always a confusing language.

2,200 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[workingfromjapanandchina]

Day 9:

First day of working in China.

Today I woke up early because of jet lag. My coworker gave me a recombination for a place to run at, so I decided to run at 6am. I assumed this would be a cooler time, however I was wrong. The heat and humidity was brutal. I sweat so much, and couldn’t run as far. I also thought the air was clearer but it wasn’t. The app was not correct. Def a smoggy day.

The place I ran at was really nice though. It was a community park with a pond. Lots of old people were there working out or walking.

After sweating a ridiculous amount I tried to shower and get ready for my day but just couldn’t cool down. Even my room felt hot. It look over an hour to cool off. After that I went to the buffet, only I went to the one on the top floor. I guess I paid extra for a separate breakfast. However I don’t think it was as good as the first floor place, and it was smaller.

I finally got ready after I stopped sweating and then went to work. It was only getting hotter and I was definitely regretting my choice to wear jeans and a button up long sleeve dress shirt. I get to the office and realize it’s also hot in the office. Later on I find out that since it is so hot the air conditioner could not keep up with the heat and was overloaded.

After work, my coworkers and I went over to Tiananmen Square. When we finally get there after lots of traffic, we have to walk through security gates with a check your ID and your reservation. Well, it turns out that my reservation was disabled because I must’ve clicked the wrong button Since it’s not in English. I told my coworkers to go in without me and so they did. One of the security guards told me that I could take a bike and ride by if I wanted to see it. So I went back and tried to find a bike, after walking about 15 minutes, I finally found a bike, but I wasn’t able to use it because the system For you for late used bikes. So looking if I found another bike and it looked like it was a brand that I had used the last time I was here. At this point, I am starting to sweat because of all the walking. But I get on the bike anyways and ride over to the front of the entrance so that I can ride by. As I finally get to the end, the police had closed off the bike lane and I wasn’t able to ride down there. This is the second time that I’ve been denied trying to see this place. At this point, I just decide that I will wait for my coworkers.

By now, I am completely sweaty in my work clothes. All I want to do is get out of this insane heat and get back to take a shower. It was something like 96° out with 88% humidity. I can’t remember ever being in such crazy heat, the humidity is no joke.

 I got back and took a shower and tried to relax and cool down. Eventually, I got hungry though and decided to go out into the mall next to my hotel and try to find some food. I walked around for about 10 minutes and couldn’t find anything I liked. I ended up going to the dumpling place that I had ate out before. I was able to order my food with Alipay at this place when I was able to pay on the app. I ended up having to pay separately and that worked fine. It kind of weird sort of work and then once you try to pay for something it will error out.

After eating far far too much food, I went back to my room and crashed hard. That was a long day and the heat definitely cooked me.

[cramdaniel]

Most days, my job is easy and not stressful. But holy shit today, it is just annoying as hell.

My coworker N who is 99% of the time absolutely adore, just has such a fucking issue with taking everything to heart and assume everyone is out to get her. She had to bring her kids into work today because they’re off and they lost power because of the wind. In fact, it was my other coworker’s (let’s call her J) idea for her come into the office with them instead of having to call out and miss work and also so they could be warm.

Fast forward to it’s been like 3 hrs of the kids here, they’re fine, they’re just being bored kids in a boring place. I genuinely wasn’t bothered and neither was J. Their mom, she was annoyed constantly, yelling at her kids, etc. I made a joke to J who sits next to me, that I can tell the kids are their mom’s kids because they are just like her, making friends with everyone and having no qualms about going to the managers offices and chit chatting with them. I said if I was a mom, I wouldn’t be able to let my kids do that because I’d be too nervous and that’s how’d you’d know they’re my kids, because I’m an anxious mess and they would be too.

This was NOT a shot at N or their kiddos, nor was it a criticism of her parenting. In fact, it was just a reference to a joke WE ALL MAKE that N is always chatting with managers, not at her desk, and walking around to get her steps. No one really gives a shit about any of this because she works hard and does get her shit done. So just, my joke was that’s how I know they’re her kids, they were doing the same thing as her!

Anyways, N got immediately upset, cried and yelled about how no one appreciates her, how she’s leaving because she doesn’t need to be here, and then like comforting her kids because SHE is now upset which is making them upset. Again, I WASNT FUCKING CRITICIZING HER AT ALL!!! But she’s refused to listen to me, just went over to one of the managers who she works directly with, cried about how I’m mean (I assume) and how I complained about her kids (Jesus goddamn Christ I didn’t mind her kids at all) and now she’s going home.

I assume now I’m in some sort of trouble but like, it’s literally a mountain out of a mole hill because I didn’t say one damn thing criticizing her or her very sweet children? Who knows.

Anyway I’m fucking pissed as hell because she’s so fucking hard to predict. Some days, N is joking and laughing and we can have a good time here. Other days, but like it’s totally hard to predict what days, she takes everything personally. I dunno, because like it was super innocuous and I can’t believe how fucking much this blew up.

[snowieluna]

Random post popped up reminding me that Viibryd exists and I used to take it. The brain zaps were hell, and my doctor didn't believe that was a side effect 🙃

Life is weird. Last week I freaked out because JR is moving to the lab. Body had a "our powers combined" moment of shitty things that led to me crying in the bathroom at work, then continuing to cry at my station while trying to hide it. Period was early, I made a small mistake not cleaning the pill counter sooner, JR pointing that out triggered rejection sensitivity, and Daylight Savings seemed to be bringing on seasonal depression.

So when I found out he was going, I panicked. I got attached super quick and didn't want him to go. Also felt a little conflicted because I had decided to stay in filling rather than pursue moving to the lab partly because of him. I thought he was pretty cool and I wanted to get to know him better. But I learned that he's been wanting to move to the lab for months, and it feels shitty not being happy for him. But him leaving brought up a bunch of memories from CR leaving at the last job. How I had to go outside so I could cry in peace and try to breathe. That bad pain in your chest from being abandoned again. (Yeah dramatic brain is dramatic.)

So when I was back at my station and trying to calm down, I was failing. Because I'm partly focused on trying to breathe, trying to fill testosterone orders, and trying to not be super obvious with my current breakdown. So I'm breaking boxes from packing syringes when my brain goes to "I could cut myself with my box cutter. It could look like an accident. It might help. It'd be logical to be crying from a bad cut. And maybe I'd feel better. The pain is a little shock. And I deserve it, right? I'm a shitty friend for not being happy for him." But I pushed past the thought. And honestly later on, he kind of made me feel better. I'm not sure if he noticed that I was off, but he got me talking about music and it helped.

So onto this week. I went in, depressed that he was probably not going to be there, but he was still in filling. I heard bits of him talking to the others in Spanish, that he might be staying until our other coworker gets back from vacation. (Which tbh I kinda thought would happen. It doesn't make sense to have us down two people at night.) But he was kinda in an off mood, besides me still being in depression mode, so the vibes have been weird.

Now another coworker from the day shift has moved to nights, so that helps with us being short. So now JR is gonna start lab stuff on Friday. I've been trying to be less reliant on him this week. Bugging him less for help. A different coworker from the day shift joked that I should be asking JR for help when I couldn't reach something today, and I kinda shot back "Well he's leaving me, so..." So later on when I carried a bunch of meds downstairs, he was like "Hey! You're good. You don't even need me." It still kinda hurt, like no dude, I'm still gonna miss you.

Finally got the courage to be like "So I've had something I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to freak you out." Cue our coworker popping back up to drop off the pill counter. Yo my heart was pounding. Like damn I've been psyching myself the past ten minutes 😭 After she went back downstairs, I continued. "So you remember I said I was in an open relationship? Well, is that something you'd be interested in?" And he said right now, no, but it's nothing he'd freak out about. I said something like "That's fine. I had to ask, though. You're really cute." 🙈 He said he appreciated the directness, and we both agreed that signals are hard to read. He seemed a tiny bit flustered after, but we went to visit the pharmacist's bulldog downstairs. Then I babbled about cosplay, and it felt comfortable again.

Like obviously I'm bummed I won't get to do anything with him. Hell, he accidentally flicked me with his hair earlier when he turned quick and I was more like 😳 than annoyed I got hit in the face. He's still gonna give me the doki dokis tomorrow, but I'm glad I got to ask, and not keep thinking "what if." Plus he knows how I feel and if he changes his mind, I'm here 😆

So I guess that's the end of that? I'm hoping we still get to catch up more on breaks sometimes.