#like i dont want people to be like oh she was just obsessive and just a crazied fan and she's being even weirder now that he's passed
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xiphiaarts · 24 days ago
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Man I might jus be vanilla
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supersecretnerd · 5 months ago
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
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I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
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#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮‍💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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gu6chan · 3 months ago
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the brief mention that 1.3 leonard could still be feeling some deep lingering grief over his brothers' deaths still never fails to fascinate me tbh like, does he think of the standards he must have lost since their passing and feel guilt? or does he see them in every child he abuses??? does he keep his grief to himself or does he find it a useful anecdote to what must be a countless number of families dealing with loss??? does the green dragon know? does he confide in it????? since leonard seems to be aware of what arioch lost to the union, just how aware is/was she in what HE lost???????? did they have a role in each other's loss? is THAT where their beef came from??????? im going to merge into a wall
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#drag on dragoon#leonard drakengard#drag on dragoon 1.3#drakengard 1.3#on the other hand; i've been obsessed over the idea of doing the 'nothing in life matters 😔' (DOD1) 'nothing in life matters 😎' (DOD1.3)#meme with them because of this#still... why would they give us the base concepts for the 1.3 cast but literally none of the depth for 98% of them (angelus is excused lmao#like you're going to make them edgier okay BUT THESE ARE STILL THE SAME PEOPLE???? WHAT PUSHED THEM TO THAT BC IT CAN'T JUST BE A 'DIFFEREN#TIMELINE DIFFERENT PERSONALITY' THING OTHERWISE YOU LOSE ANY SENSE OF “self” THEY HAD IN THEIR CHOICES IN THE DOD1 TIMELINE ENTIRELY#there HAS to be SOMETHING that made them like this... well caim we pretty much see it#BUT LEONARD AND FURIAE?????? i still stand by it; they fucking took the dragon-blood pill too i just KNOW they did#but that still doesnt answer what the fuck went on with him and arioch#the boring but most STRAIGHTFORWARD answer would probably be something among the lines of#'Oh well she came to the village and he had to drive her out after realising she was literally insane and she's been waiting to get back in#ever since. leonard just kinda knew about the dead relatives bc thats everyone'#but i dont like that explanation as much as the idea that they KNEW because they had some INVOLVEMENT when it happened#(likely unintentional.... maybe? 👀)#also why the fuck does the prologue just casually mention leonard was part of the union but literally never brings up why he's midgard's#most wanted by the time the truly diseased takes place and what led him to (presumably) abandoning it to begin with#....WAS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE DEATH OF ARIOCH'S FAMILY???? HUH??????#ngl im entering conspiracy mode with this but being honest#it almost seems in character and MAKES SENSE that him having something to do with the death of/possible killing of arioch's family would#drive him to where he is by the time TTD takes place#think about it!!! leonard joins the union; ends up driving a woman to literal insanity after involving himself with the death of her family#the guilt causes him to leave the union and seek a life of atonement helping OTHER families whose lives were torn apart by the war/union;#his brothers are possibly killed during his defection??? maybe??? something something#arioch seeks his ass out and spends her time waiting to feed on the village/semi-subconsciously maybe waiting to ruin everything he's worke#for....
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prettycottagequeer · 22 days ago
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#ok tag rant time yay#cus i need to process some shit#soooo the big thing is ajdhfnfhdk pretty girl!!! yay!!!!! and first time for that!!!!!!!! we matched on an app last friday#got coffee the next morning then met up again monday night (implied fun things) then in the wednesday morning shit show she came over just#to sit with me and so everything could be ok for a while and i felt the safest I ever have#which is a big deal because last time i had that feeling i was with the guy i like and one of my best friends sleeping on the floor because#little tiny college beds dont fit three people and then they left me on the floor to sleep in one bed together and i cried a lot#then they essentially kicked me out of the polycule and started dating soooo :) yeah#good to replace that with a (absolutely fucking gorgeous) pretty girl holding onto me while the world falls apart#and yeah she's sosososo prettyyyyy she has such nice dark long hair and really pretty eyes and she's literally#6 feet tall (which. ajdhdjfndbsmdjcjfj.) and she's the biggest nerd omg i had a like 2 hour conversation with her and her gf about star trek#its great#we're moving sapphic fast lol which is a lot but im obsessed with her a bit#did i mention shes so pretty? its fr like that one tiktok sound about a hot girl and her little gay boyfriend#oh and she came over again last night and i think im gonna dieeee lol i never realized how much of a physical touch person i am before#i mean i knew i liked it a lot but i just do not want to let go. at all. ever. i miss her#this is what i mean by bisexual so gay for men and women and it happens liek the stereotypes for both#sadly she's already mentioned maybe having to move because of everything and i really don't want that#but i guess we'll try it for as long as we can#overall though yay yay yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
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rearranging-deck-chairs · 4 months ago
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bad wolf soda <3
#level of obsession reached where i zoom in on screenshots to see what shes reading#p sure that says kierkegaard in white but thats as far as im getting#'first existentialist philosopher'#okay i really gotta find out what the fuck existentialism really means now bc carmilla seems to like it#'related to the meaning purpose and value of human existence.#Common concepts in existentialist thought include existential crisis dread#and anxiety in the face of an absurd world and free will as well as authenticity courage and virtue.'#SCREAM OKAY I SEE I SEE#kierkegaard beauvoir sartre nietzsche camus yep p sure those all get mentioned#okay this is fun#kierkegaard was like an existentialist before the word and hes from the first half of the 19th century#dont know if you can call vampires contemporaries of people bc....immortal. but carmilla was a contemporary of him#technically#and then when existentialism gets named halfway the 20th century carmilla has just escaped her blood coffin punishment#and so shes alone for a little bit without direction. perhaps free or perhaps waiting for mother to show up again#it's fun that existentialism seems sort of to be abt there being a choice abt who you want to be#that youre not defined by an essence. that What You Are is not defined pre what you do#so you can shape yourself#it's interesting the tension between that belief and the position carmilla is in. no wonder theres self-loathing#but also! she starts resisting the What She Is that is imposed on her. after 1945. starts sabotaging plans#i gotta go download some books#'ive got a talk i wanna catch on goethe' hang on im googling#1749-1832 she lived through that too#oh right faust and young werther i know of those#'Goethe admitted that he 'shot his hero to save himself' a reference to Goethe's near-suicidal obsession for a young woman a passion he que#relatable#god theres so much to read in the world and i have not read any of it#carmillaposting#i wonder what she'd write her dissertation about
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mainfaggot · 7 months ago
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just watched challengers at the cinema w my little sister. it was so intense wtf
#i was like grabbing onto my scalp just yanking my hair in the last 5 mins and at the end i yelled (quietly) LOVE WINS!#bc there were only 4 other ppl in the cinema lol#its so fucking stupid on the surface like ok complicated polyamory and also insane obsession with a sport bc that is what makes these people#who they are; as in the sport IS their identity as individuals that's what fills the void that lies underneath skin and bone etc.#blah blah basic shit about messy relationships with the self and romantically with others#but it's also so profound because despite the many obstacles and personality differences. they all love one another and the sport so much.#it's so weird it's twisted in a sense because it's like they only have one another and then obviously tennis (bc tennis is the bridge)#it's very.. codependent#i can't believe my little sister understood like not in a condescending way i cant believe she got it but in a “oh i didnt know you watched#stuff with this much emotion and that you cared enough to critique media“ since she doesn't usually tell me about what shes watching#and when she does she tells me about sitcoms ..#so yeah it was nice that we watched it together but also kind of weird bc#well surface level: the make out scenes were just us giggling awkwardly#and on a deeper level when i was watching it. i couldn't help but think about how#patrick at some point turned into an observer; he stopped being a part of the art tashi patrick trio (and tennis!) and turned#into a spectator#despite very much still being a fellow player#and then tashi became a spectator of the sport despite very much being absorbed in it all and in love with art (?)#i dont know what else to call it but her need to control him came from a place of some kind of care ... albeit manipulative and self serving#so Patrick and tashi are almost parallel lines if that makes sense#theyre kicked out of “the club” whatever the club may be (for Patrick he's no longer in the trio) and for Tashi once the trio is long gone#she's no longer a competitor bc of her injury#and then art is just in the middle of it all#and he'd always followed Patrick's lead in the past and then he started thinking for himself until he became so taken by Tashi#and then he just became her little follower#he just wants to be loved and told what to do because he doesn't know how else to live. im projecting? im projecting. anyway!#the ending. god. the ending sums up their whole past dynamic:#patrick is petty. art is irritated. tashi doesn't get their little dynamic. patrick loves art. art is forgiving. tashi loves the sport#(and maybe she loves them both in her own fucked up control freak way)#z.post
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fexicoded · 1 year ago
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shidoukanae · 6 months ago
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Chapter 75 and 76 have been so funny for male lead characters suddenly spouting red flag lines.
Paris's is expected because the narrative has always been honest about how he's got a screw loose but seeing the 2nd lead syndrome guy pining hopelessly after Lyla seemingly imply he was trying to make her unhappy with his presence is ???? huh????
like im aware my very loose translations are probably scuffed as fuck and there's room for further interpretation but man is this manga a ride lmao. It never feels like a chapter is wasted and that there's always something more to be learned about this world, its story, and its characters. And it means every chapter is never a letdown because there's always SOMETHING happening and it makes me !!! to see
#the mighty extra#Paris Valerian#Phillip whose last name im forgetting LMAO#ngl after translating Paris's line about taking a princess as a trophy i was all :Dc about it#not only does that line tell me that Paris is dangerously obsessive of Helene like his OG self was#but also considering how much the narrative condemns Paris's entitlement and lifts up Helene as someone who can handle his arrogance#I sense this line of thinking is utterly going to fuck him up once he realizes that pursuing her through war will only see her resenting hi#i love that Paris/Helene seems to be a slowburn and im so waiting for the moment Paris gets irrevocably lovesick over her#i want him to eat his words from back when he called Fian's romantic rambles “corny” you have no idea#the dragon imprinting phenomena in this universe is really fascinating and i love how the dragon physiology works in this verse#from the way imprinting is treated as something genuinely fucked up for dragons to experience#to the way dragons use “smell” in order to identify people's souls which plays into their Friendship Pact magic abilities#it's a much different take on dragons than im used to and honestly i kind of dig it#also love how this story takes a bunch of tropes i typically dont like and has combined them together in a way i really like!#Imprinting as a trope? Surprisingly well done and actually interesting to learn more about since it's specfically a psychological thing#Me genuinely wishing the reverse harem story mentioned was a real story? insane coming from someone who HATES that genre#Paris displaying awful red flag behaviors? good thing his love interest doesn't put up with his BS and will put him in his place#OG FL is being mean? oh guess what she's an intricate self-saboteur who is neither good nor bad and there's something up with her (i think)#and it's just#man#this whole manga is writing goals goddamn#and im trying to learn how to write a plot based on its story structure and it's making me realize i don't know shit about writing lol#or at least planning out my plots which is probs why im procrastinating on my own works ahhhhHHHH
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coolcoelacanth · 6 months ago
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day 3 of my indentured servitude: already getting annoyed at my temporary coworkers and having to stand next to them for 8 hrs a day. theyre both middle aged women, one of which has more attitude than the other. like godddddddd idk why its so normalized for people to be rude for no reason why does nobody have manners. they're not horrible, but its just like little passive aggressive comments all day and im like 😑 girl im not even getting paid and i don't want to be here. im literally so overly polite to them all the time too bc thats just who i am as a person like idk how people can be sassy to people who literally have not wronged them.
#personal#it's not that bad i just had a bad day today#and i havent had a day off since thursday and its now wednesday#and i still have to work two more 10 hr unpaid shifts until my 1 day off#killing myself#i wish this wasnt a serious job so i could microdose to make it more bearable#but i am definitely not taking that risk#lord have mercy on my tired flat footeded soul#im literally standing the whole day w my flat ass feet#i went to an orthopedic dr once for a running injury back when i did cross country#they looked at my feet and went oh my god you have extremely flat feet#i was like oh i didnt realize it was that bad LOL#so im standing all day on my malformed feet literally jumping from foot to foot bc of the pain#i need new sneakers if i dont want my feet to fall off#then the one pharmacist has arthritis i later learned and i had asked to sit down earlier in the day bc of my flat feet#so then i felt like an idiot bc she literally has arthritis and is standing#but also like girl why tf are you standing all day if you have arthritis#we should both be sitting lmao#but then the other pharmacist came in for the day and immediately took ky terminal so i just put the chair away and stood anyway lmao awkwa#and literally why are people so obsessed w drive thru pharmacies it literally makes it take 10x longer than just coming inside#its not that hard to park a car and walk inside 10 feet like what#just a tag rant of an accumulation of why i am in a bad mood today#i am also so tired bc i have a circadian rhythm disorder#i need to start taking my stimulant again but i also dont want to bc it makes me too awake and i also love coffee and want to drink it#but i feel like im on meth if i take my stimulant and drink coffee#i need to ask my lady to lower the dose#but it definitely helps bc otherwise i literally feel like i could fall asleep at any moment its great#and my eyes literally burn from keeping them open#i love my body failing me#i also love having a job that pushes my body to its limits
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oflgtfol · 11 months ago
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attempting to make at least one bracelet for every coworker you’re somewhat close to is a bit of a pain when you work two jobs and each workplace has 20 something employees
#GAH#brot posts#i wanna add teo more michaels coworkers but i dont know their colors#so i at least have an excuse for not being on time for christmas#and this genuinely was a spur of the moment thing so i didnt have any time to plan#im inspired cuz my FM made everyone these like fabric little shrimp guys 😭😭 theyre so cute#she had kept it a secret for a while so i only knew she was getting me a christmas gift#so i was just gonna make her two bracelets#but then she gave me my shrimp and then i saw it was a full scale store effort and it was like. oh#it would in fact be cute to make everyone bracelets#esp cuz theres a whole group here of people like me obsessed with bracelet making and we’re always buying beads and shit#so i thought itd be cute to also make them bracelets as well as my FM#but then like im close to other people who Arent into the bracelet stuff but itd still be cute to make them one !!!#and now here i am!!!#AND i asked all my other job coworkers if theyd like a bracelet each and they pretty much all said yes#and they All wanted the adjustable bracelets and that shit is so laborious 😭😭#but i have wiggle room so i can take my time with those cuz i only see x amount of people certain days and they all know its not gonna be#till after christmas#lke theyve been Informed that im doing this so theyre ok#but my#michaels coworkers this is a surprise so :( it must be on time :(#but the other two coworkers are gonna have to have it not be a surprise#but i’ll act like they were originally in my plan just thati dont know their fave colors so i couldnt make them bracelets in time for today#lol. lol ;__;
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landoughnut · 2 months ago
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Nurse He's Out Again
♡ masterlist - request!
♡ pairing - lando norris x fem!reader (fc - brooke shields :)
♡ summary - just lando thirsting on the main and giving being a pr nightmare, also him fighting for his life in the comments
♡ warnings - horny/simp lando, crack, some fluff, some cursing, one kms mention
♡ w/c & a/n - smau | wanted to do a social media one cause i love reading them so much so here we are! i really love this actually so i hope you enjoy xoxo
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landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername
landonorris holy shit baby 😍🥵
landonorris please date me fhsusnygds 😻💍
yourusername already am my love 💗
username WOWWW
kendalljenner stunning bestfriend 💋
yourusername love you 😘
username lando having her notifs on is so cute 🥹
username im in love with you.
landonorris NO I AM. STAY AWAY 😡
username LANDO LMAOAO
vogue 🤍 liked by yourusername
maxverstappen1 🔥📸
yourusername thanks max ☺️
maxverstappen1 someone tell me how lando's dating her
landonorris HEY 😟
charles_leclerc real max
yourusername the real question is how did i get so lucky with him!!
landonorris SHHH BABY NEVER SAY THAT 😣
adele my darling you look beautiful 🩷
yourusername i love youuu mother adele 💗
landonorris IM DATING AN ANGEL WOW PLEASE MARRY ME
yourusername i love you so much 😭
landonorris CBGHNCHD I LOVE YOU MOST BABY 🥰😍☺️
oscarpiastri lando fell to his knees in a walmart parking lot
landonorris can you blame me?? 🛐🛐🛐
username no we cant lando
landonorris it was a rhetorical question 👺
carlossainz55 my favorite model 🙏 liked by yourusername
username can lando fight?? 🥵🤤
landonorris YES GET AWAY SHOO 🤺
georgerussell63 bro can notttt fight
landonorris fuck you george
landonorris I CAN RUN YOU OVER INSTEAD
mclaren lando norris we're having a meeting this afternoon
mclaren looking absolutely stunning 🧡
yourusername love you admin 💋
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landonorris FIRST liked by yourusername
landonorris DAMNNN BABY COME HOME AND KISS ME
username oh no..
landonorris ON MY NO NO SQUARE
oscarpiastri the second hand embarrassment i have rn
alexandrasaintmleux what 😟 yourusername ill save you bae
landonorris get me pregnant. 🫃
mclaren no we need you in racing conditions
landonorris you need me? that sounds familiar 😏🛌
maxverstappen1 MY EYES 🤢
mclaren REPLYING TO MYYYY COMMENT???
oscarpiastri ON MYY PHONE??
yourusername osc look away 😨
ladygaga so pretty 🤩 liked by yourusername
username 😻😍
landonorris get these heart eyes OUTTA HERE
yourusername BABY STOP HARASSING PEOPLE IN MY COMMENTS
landonorris "baby" 😍 anything for u wifey 🛐
billieeilish so fineee bby
landonorris SCRAM BILLIE
yourusername ILYY BILLIEEE 🤍
username lando is fighting for his LIFE 😭
username lando trying not to simp challenge level impossible
landonorris GUESS WHO SHE WAS SMILING AT YALLLLLLLL
yourusername i love you 💗 im always smiling with you 💖
landonorris I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY FUCKING HELL
username you guys are the cutest to exist
carlossainz55 yeah until you hear them talk about each other 25/8
landonorris shut up carlos your just jealous
georgerussell63 you're*
landonorris 🖕🖕
harrystyles gorgeous
landonorris bye.
landonorris i cant compete with harry 😨
landonorris GUYS DONT LET HER SEE THIS
charles_leclerc too late i just heard a scream from the living room where she is with alex
yourusername HARRY OH MY GOSH HELLO I LOVE YOU JEHXBUYTNEGBYGYGXE
landonorris im going to kms. someone pick my casket now. he broke my girl.
mclaren our favorite girl 🧡
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yourusername FIRST liked by landonorris
username im obsessed with them being first for each other 🥹
yourusername LANDO PLEASE I CANT 😭
landonorris THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOURE WITH MEE
charles_leclerc NAHHHH LANDO
oscarpiastri MY EYESS
yourusername IM SORRY OSC BBY
landonorris dont call him bby 😡 im your bby
username "tell your baby that im your baby" 🥺
username HELPPP bros fed up with the comments
username LANDO HAS A MOMMY KINK CONFIRMED 😋
mclaren you're done buddy. no more mr nice guy. meeting at 5pm.
username ignoring the caption but its so cute that the only thing he posts besides racing related pictures is her 🥹 my heart liked by landonorris
username she's so beautiful wow liked by landonorris
username her smile is the prettiest thing ive ever seen liked by landonorris
maxverstappen1 lando... what about us 😣
yourusername BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN 🗣️🤺
username how the tables have turned...
landonorris YEAH YOU TELL HIM BABY ‼️ THATS MY WIFEY 🗣️
username their matching profile pictures are adorable 🥹 liked by landonorris
alexandrasaintmleux SHE WAS MINE FIRST 👹
yourusername im still yours love 💗
landonorris thats not what you said in bed last night
alexandrasaintmleux NAHH UNDER MY COMMENT??
georgerussell63 lando mate enough is enough 😀
landonorris literally leave no one wants you here
mclaren you've taken at least ten years off my life
username SOMEONE SEDATE HIM���
username someone needs to get neutered 🫵🏻
carlossainz55 NO MORE PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ☹️
landonorris pov my wifey after round five last night
username FIVE????
alex_albon NASTYY YALL FREAKYYY
mclaren why do I even try 😞
lewishamilton NURSE HES OUT AGAINNNNN 😦
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maplesyrupsainz · 3 months ago
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙new fav wag | LS2˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: logan sargeant x williams social media admin!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none jus fluff
summary: in which the internet knows you're in love before you do
a/n: I STARTED WRITING THIS BEFORE THE NEWS DROPPED SO LET'S JUST PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED FOR NOW IM SO SORRY
request!!!: logan fic or smau where the reader is williams’ newest social media admin?? and logan immediately is crushing on her, and the fans are trying to speculate why logan is suddenly so smiley in a bunch of the clips and videos posted on the williams ig or doing a bunch of challenges on the williams tiktok page (and alex is totally laughing his ass off)
my masterlist
fc: annie.shr
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by logansargeant, yourbff, and others
yourusername bits & bobs 🫶
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user7 omg? how is she so gorgeous
user8 oh the garage pic lol so she's 100% the right girl
user9 wish i was her omg
user10 omgg. i'd be happy looking at her too 👀
user11 real. can u blame logan lollll
lilymhe prettiest girl!!
yourusername ilysm <3
yourbff im kissing you rn
yourusername i wish!!
user12 does she have a bf? second pic
user13 no one knows lol
user14 logan found dead
user15 logan in the likes too hehe he's down bad
user16 can u blame him
lilyzneimer miss you babe
yourusername miss u sm
user17 omgg she's friends w lily?!!
twitter ->
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messages ->
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instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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liked by lilymhe, logansargeant, and others
yourbff YESSSS got you all to myself
yourusername hmm, almost
yourbff boo party pooper
lilymhe wow
yourusername oh stop it you
user23 omg ruff ruff ruff ....
user24 so stunning omg
user25 i wish i was u
user26 logan found dead
logansargeant cant wait to relax a bit!
yourusername well deserved 🩵!
logansargeant thanks :) would love to hang out sometime if your free?
yourusername for sure i could find some time!
logansargeant awesome!
yourusername posted a story
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liked by yourbff, lilyzneimer, and others
user27 WOWWWW
user28 omg she's gorgeous
user29 wow wow wow
lilymhe omg wow. williams admin off duty is 🔥🔥🔥
yourusername HAHAH stop!!
yourbff meeeeowwww!!!!!
liked by yourusername
logansargeant wow. any chance we could turn that hang out into a date instead? 👀
yourusername HAHAH LOGAN
logansargeant ...well?
yourusername oh wow ur serious. well yes of course
logansargeant cool, cant wait.
twitter ->
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messages ->
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interview ->
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transcript -> y/n (behind the camera): so how was your guys’ two weeks off? logan: good! the rest was really needed for me, and you, alex? alex: well, we can focus on you for a minute still, or both of you actually! *laughs* y/n: haha very funny alex, i dont think people want to hear about my break though
twitter ->
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*accidentally messed up the user numbers lol but who rly cares*
instagram ->
logansargeant
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liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and others
logansargeant lil update
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user39 second pic?????
user40 HELLOOOO
user41 soft launch...? 👀
user42 love when he hangs out w alex omg <3
user43 love youuu logan
user44 this is sooo bf
alex_albon my guyyy
liked by logansargeant
oscarpiastri great race this weekend 🤟
logansargeant 🔥
user45 there's no way the 3rd pic was logan alone
user46 legit it's too girly
user47 y/n was here? 👀
liked by alex_albon
user48 HAHA alex liking this comment 😭
user49 lol he ships them so hard
williamsracing love the first pic 😎
liked by logansargeant
user50 no rizz
user51 she's a professional let her live x
yourusername posted a story
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liked by lilymhe, yourbff, and others
user52 OH MY GODDDD
user53 this is so logan
lilymhe why are you gatekeeping information from us
yourusername !!!!! dramatic. all in good time
user54 omg obsessed with this lil date
user55 love this sm
user56 soulmates a bit 👀
yourbff text us BACKKKK
liked by yourusername
messages ->
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instagram ->
lilymhe posted a story
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liked by alex_albon, lilyzneimer, and others
alex_albon just look at them!
lilymhe oh new love 🥰
oscarpiastri they gonna be mad at this
liked by lilymhe
user57 god.
user58 ME WHEN
user59 y/n & logan fr.
user69 confirmed much?
user70 if no one else got us i know lily muni he got us
liked by lilymhe
yourusername 📍 miami
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liked by logansargeant, lilyzneimer, and others
yourusername usa usa usa usa usa usa usa usa
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user71 GIRL WE KNOW UR DATING
user72 obsessed with everything about this.
user73 on god i love them
user74 she's just too beautiful
yourbff i love u so much
yourusername love u w my whole entire heart 💓
user75 the second omg yeehaw much
logansargeant 🇺🇸
liked by yourusername
user76 okay.
user77 you alr know he was fighting back the urge to profess his love for her
user78 he looks so good in the third pic omg
user79 hottest blondies in the world fr
lilyzneimer out of this world beauty!!
yourusername dont be silly you angel
lilyzneimer 💓💓💓
twitter ->
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instagram ->
f1wagupdates posted a story
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liked by yourbff, lilymhe, and others
user83 NO. WAY.
user84 OH MY GOD FINALLY
user85 finally some proof
user86 ahh not them being caught red handed 😭
user87 obsessed w them omg
user88 CUTIESSS AHH
messages ->
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instagram ->
logansargeant posted a story
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liked by yourusername, yourbff, and others
user89 LOGOATTTT
user90 omg points & hard launch all in one weekend i feel dizzy
oscarpiastri eventful weekend for you!
logansargeant 🤔 just a bit
oscarpiastri congrats you deserve it 💙
user91 HARD LAUNCHHHH
user92 y/n lucky charm fr fr fr
user93 u will alwaysss be famous
user94 LOGOAT IN THE POINTS
user95 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
user96 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
yourusername
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and others
yourusername okay fine have the hard launch!! 🥰
view all comments
user97 what a rollercoaster it's been
user98 SO HONOURED TO HAVE BEEN APART OF THIS JOURNEY
user99 how did he do it fr
user100 literally. spill the secrets logan
lilyzneimer most gorgeous couple!!!
yourusername no u xxxx
lilymhe pair of stunners
yourusername ly <333
yourbff MY ANGELLL ILYSM
yourusername love you love you love you!!!
alex_albon wow finally. i was in the trenches for a minute there
yourusername dramatic much? ���
alex_albon no? why?
logansargeant no comment from me
user101 oh to be in their gc
user102 too beautiful
user103 wow thts williams admin fr...
logansargeant new fav wag!
yourusername 🤨🤨🤨🤨
logansargeant lol! i love you
yourusername love you unreal amounts 🥹
THE END 🩵
1K notes · View notes
youreverydayfangirl · 1 month ago
Text
I DONT WANNA LIVE FOREVER
pairing: max verstappen x singer reader
summary: the one where the public begins to scrutinize to an unbearable point, threats are made and a specific popstar disappears
warning: online hate, mentions of cheating
a/n: hey guys heres the second part also as a btw i think the next parts will prolly be longer cause i just wanted to lay the gournd work i think i might end up switching povs between socials and real life
face claim: sabrina carpenter
f1 masterlist
main masterilst
series masterlist
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y/nsprivate has posted
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liked by thatoneartgirlalex, keekslikestospammmm and 18 others
y/nsprivate i actually cant deal with this anymore its all bullshit and no one even believes me i cant defend myself im just so done
thatoneartgirlalex sweetie 😭😭
keekslikestospammmm im coming over now
leosfather do you want me to 'accidently' crash into him
-> y/nsprivate thats prolly not gonna help but it would be funny
livbereallydumb im actually gonna throw hands
itssabrinaaa give me a call if you need anything
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f1gossip has posted
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liked by 195, 203 users
f1gossip New WAG alert?! Lando Norris and Y/n L/n ex friend, exbsf have been spotted out and about recently. This comes after the shocking reveal of L/ns infedelity and Lando and hers public break up 2 months ago. Could this be a new WAG in the making???
user1 I KNEW IT IM SO HAPPY
user2 AHH THEIR SO CUTE
user3 he deserved way better than y/n just saying 🤷‍♀️
-> user4 agreed
user5 i think we all knew this was coming
user6 kinda fishy that she immedietly gets with him after his and y/ns breakup
-> user7 stfu it wasn't "immedietly" and its public knowledge she cheated theirs literal proof
user8 GUYS EXBSF JUST POSTED OMFG
exbsf has posted
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liked by landonorris, f1gossip and 1, 950, 129 others
exbsf summer sun with my favourite people
user1 oh she knows what shes doing
user2 genuinly obsessed with her
user3 oh she KNOWS what shes doing
exfriend OMG STUNNING IM IN LOVE
-> exbsf 😘😘
francisca.cgomes absolutely not
this comment has been deleted
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f1gossip has posted
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liked by exbsf and 294, 591 others
f1gossip SPOTTED! Y/n L/n for the first time in months in a very public meltdown with friends francisca.cgomes and alexandrasaintmleux
user1 tagging them is so messy 😭
user2 exbsf liking this is so messy
user3 this is such an invasion of privacy
francisca.cgomes this is actually something insane to post
alexandrasaintmleux i normally stay quiet but this is genuinely disgusting
alexandrasaintmleux delete this
user4 Alex and Kika defending her in the comments?
-> user5 yeah cause they know the whole truth and whose actually in the wrong
-> user6 y/n this you?
user7 DESERVED SHES SUCH A SNAKE OMG
user8 🐍🐍🐍
-> user9 🐍🐍🐍
-> user10 🐍🐍🐍
-> user11 🐍🐍🐍
-> user12 🐍🐍🐍
-> user13 🐍🐍🐍
this post has been deleted by author
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Hi guys hers part to for you ;)
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taglist:
@lyannesworld
@pippyth3hippy
@scorpiomindfuck
@syddddddddddddd
@paigem00
@toldyouitwasamelodrama
@lilsiz
@chelle1306
@sired4urmama
@stinkyjax
@kiyomisan
@hotgirlslikemax
@itsjustkhaos
@sid-is-gr8
@mastermindbaby
@akkklys
@reidsworld
@tall-tanned-tattoo
@mrsmaybank24
@m1892
@taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs
@midnights-lily
@skynel09
@grussellsprout
@comicalivy
@callsignwidow
@unknownmystery22
@nina-or-anna-or-nora
@exotic-iris13
@stereading
@taygrls
@sleutherclaw
@jxnellat
@nitiii
898 notes · View notes
aliyahwritings · 27 days ago
Text
THE CONTRACTED HEART — Rafe Cameron (05)
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MASTERLIST | Basketball Player & Model!Female Reader
Summary: Rafe Cameron, a basketball star, needs a marriage to fix his image, while Model!Reader needs one for citizenship. They may be the perfect solution for each other.
Warnings: smut, descriptions of violence, jealousy, usage of drugs, talks about body image/ed, angst, and lots of bickering. Reader is confident, a people-pleaser, has a traumatic past, and is a sunshine with an attitude. Rafe is a whore, possessive, cocky, and secretive about his past.
Word Count: 9.4k
Aliyah's Notes: i have two exams in five years and i still haven't slept, so if u notice any mistakes pls ignore them. i'll fix them when i have time, and yes a scene is inspired by the maddest obsession BUT ANYW AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER IS INSANE AND PLS DONT SCREAM AT ME FOR THE ENDING LIKE IM SO SORRY BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE
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“Hey, you want to know something?” Sarah said, approaching you as you sat quietly at a table, lost in thought. Beside her, two girls: one had mid-length brown curls and sun-kissed blonde highlights, gave you a friendly grin, her energy light and approachable. The other had wavy, jet-black hair that framed her face, her features both sharp and effortlessly beautiful. They were stunning, you thought, in a way that felt both comforting and a little intimidating. “I never liked her. Even back when she and my brother were together, I never got along with Chiara.”
The girl with the highlighted curls nodded, sliding into the seat next to you. “Same here. There’s always been something... off about her,” she agreed, scrunching her nose in a way that made you smile. “Oh! I’m Kiara, by the way,” she added quickly. “Different spelling than Chiara, but I promise we’re nothing alike.”
The girl with the wavy black hair gave a little wave as she took the seat across from you, her smile warm and easy. “And I’m Cleo,” she introduced herself with a slight accent. “Can’t say I disagree with Sarah and Kie here. Chiara’s just... kind of a staple at these things. She’s always been around, so the guys still invite her out of habit.”
“And if they didn’t, she’d probably throw a tantrum,” Sarah added, rolling her eyes in exasperation. 
You felt a warmth creeping into your cheeks as you looked at the three of them, surprised by how welcoming they were. “Thanks, girls. I’m Y/N, by the way,” you said shyly, offering a small smile. 
“Girl, we know who you are,” Cleo came to sit on your side and nudged you softly. “But don’t worry, you’re part of the group now—Chiara who?” she joked, making you all laugh.
You cleared your throat, glancing between the three girls who were deep in conversation. The question had been sitting heavy on your mind since the moment you met Chiara. “So… Rafe and her—did they used to date?”
The girls exchanged a look, the brief silence almost uncomfortable. It was as if they were weighing their words, deciding what to say or what to hold back. Their reluctance only made you want answers more. Who was Chiara to Rafe, really?
Finally, Sarah glanced away, a frown crossing her face. “It’s… complicated.”
You couldn’t help but lean in, unable to stop the curiosity stirring in your chest. “How complicated?” you pressed. “Were they exes? Friends with benefits? Did they break up right before Rafe and I got together? Or was it just her holding on to a crush he never—”
Kiara gently placed a hand over yours, her eyes warm and understanding. “Y/N, it’s okay. You don’t have to overthink it, alright?”
You sighed, the uncertainty making your stomach twist. “I just wish I knew what they are—or were—to each other. Rafe hasn’t said a word about her. Not a thing.”
Cleo gave you a sympathetic look, and Sarah hesitated, biting her lip as though weighing whether to say more. Finally, she began, “Wait, so he really didn’t tell you about what they—”
But Sarah’s words were cut off abruptly as Rafe’s voice broke through the noise of the party. “Sweetheart, can we talk?”
The girls turned toward him, their expressions ranging from surprise to mild disgust.
Kiara shot him a skeptical look, brows raised. “Who did he just call ‘sweetheart’?”
Cleo’s eyes widened as she put her hands up in mock innocence. “Definitely not me.”
Sarah shook her head, holding back a laugh. “Don’t look at me. My brother’s never called me any nickname. So, nope, not me either.”
Their eyes turned back to you, and it clicked. Rafe’s gaze was fixed on you, his face serious, almost imploring. You fidgeted with your hands, glancing over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Chiara. She was a few steps away, engrossed in a conversation with JJ, yet her eyes were unmistakably trained on you and Rafe. Her expression was unreadable, something between irritation and curiosity, and the ambiguity of it only frustrated you more.
Rafe’s voice softened, his eyes searching yours. “Y/N, let’s go. Please?”
“I’m serious about her, Chiara,” was what Rafe replied earlier, his voice firm but before you could register the words, Chiara grabbed his arm, pulling him toward the garden without so much as a second glance in your direction, leaving you alone in the middle of the party—feeling like a complete idiot.
You weren’t sure how to feel about Rafe’s words. It was exactly what you’d hoped to hear, but his delivery had been off, and the way he left with her immediately afterward left a sour taste. You remember watching them through the windows. Their conversation looked intense. Chiara’s hands moved wildly, gesturing with a frustration that seemed matched by Rafe, who kept sighing and tossing his arms up in exasperation. Whatever they discussed, it was clearly charged.
But now, Rafe was standing in front of you, his expression unreadable as he asked to talk. About what? You didn’t know. Maybe he’d finally explain who Chiara was to him or put to rest the suspicion twisting in your gut, though you doubted he would. Instead of lingering on the countless possibilities, you took a steadying breath, nodded, and followed him outside.
The night air was cool, a stark contrast to the party’s warmth, and you found yourself standing on the porch beside him, facing the quiet street. For a moment, silence fell between you, thick and awkward, as if neither of you knew where to begin. He glanced at you and you felt a flicker of anticipation mixed with unease, wondering what he’d say—if he’d finally give you the answers you were looking for.
Rafe leaned against the porch railing, arms folded, his gaze fixed somewhere over your shoulder. “Look... Chiara just… she doesn’t handle change well,” he said, his tone flat, almost dismissive. “She’s just… used to things being a certain way. She's dramatic."
You crossed your arms, holding back the questions building up. “Right. So, she drags you outside because she’s feeling… what? Dramatic?”
He glanced at you, then quickly looked away, jaw tightening. “It’s not like that,” he said, his voice clipped. “She’s… she’s just not used to seeing me with someone else.”
You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep your tone light. “Oh, so I’m the problem?”
Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “No, it’s not you. It’s…” He paused, as if weighing how much he wanted to say. “She just thinks… I don’t know, she has her own ideas about things. She probably assumed things were the way they used to be.”
You frowned. “Used to be?” The question slipped out before you could stop it, and when Rafe didn’t answer right away, you continued. “So, you two were… what? Together?”
He shook his head. “Not exactly. Things just... overlapped for a while. It was just… a thing. A long time ago.”
Your patience was wearing thin. “And by ‘a long time ago,’ you mean… what? Last week? Last month?”
Rafe exhaled sharply, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “Shit, why does it matter? Whatever it was, it’s over, alright? I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you.”
“Maybe you do need to,” you shot back, feeling your cheeks heat. “I think I deserve to know when I’m about to walk into a situation where some girl is going to pull you away and act like I’m the one intruding.”
Rafe’s jaw tightened, and he leaned in slightly, his eyes narrowing. “She’s not just ‘some girl.’ She’s… someone I’ve known for a while. And she’s… complicated. Okay?”
“Right. ‘Complicated.’” You let the word hang in the air, dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure it’s just so complicated that you couldn’t even bother to tell me about her before dragging me into this.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “It’s not like that. I just… I didn’t think she’d show up here. I didn’t think it would matter.”
You shook your head, folding your arms tighter around yourself. “Well, maybe it does matter, Rafe. Because from where I’m standing, it looks like she has some claim on you.”
"What?" Rafe’s eyes flashed with irritation, and he straightened up, clearly done with the conversation. “Look, she doesn’t have a fucking ‘claim’ on me. It’s nothing. Just… drop it.”
The bluntness of his words stung, and you took a steadying breath, keeping your voice as even as possible. “Fine,” you said coolly, shrugging as if you weren’t affected. “But you might want to let her know that.”
He shook his head, muttering something under his breath before his gaze met yours again. “You’re overthinking it. She’s… she’s just used to being a part of my life, and now things are different. She’ll deal with it.”
You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly. “Funny, because from where I was standing, it didn’t look like she was planning to just ‘deal with it.’ It looked like she was… I don’t know, trying to stake her territory or something.”
Rafe sighed, looking away again. “That’s just how she is. She’s always… been intense. Doesn’t mean anything.”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, feeling a mix of frustration and something uncomfortably close to jealousy. “So, I’m just supposed to ignore it? Pretend she didn’t pull you, my boyfriend, outside to… to lecture you about me?”
“Exactly,” he replied, his tone abrupt. “It’s just noise. Don’t pay her any mind.”
The simplicity of his response only fueled your irritation. “Right. Because I should just… ignore all of this and act like nothing’s wrong.”
“Look, I didn’t ask her to make a scene,” he said, his voice sharper now. “And I didn’t think she’d come here tonight. She just… showed up, okay?”
You paused, studying his expression, which was a mixture of defensiveness and something else you couldn’t quite place. “So, what’s the story with her?” you asked, trying to keep your tone casual, though you knew it was anything but.
Rafe let out a frustrated breath. “There’s no ‘story,’ alright? She’s just… she was around for a while, that’s it. We had… an understanding.”
You raised an eyebrow, the vagueness of his answer only adding to your frustration. “An understanding,” you repeated slowly, crossing your arms tighter. “Well, it seems like she didn’t quite get the memo that whatever ‘understanding’ you had is over.”
He shifted uncomfortably, glancing toward the house as if hoping someone would interrupt. “She’ll get over it. I just didn’t expect her to… make it a whole thing.”
“Maybe she made it a whole thing because you haven’t made it clear to her that it’s… nothing,” you said, emphasizing his own words back to him.
Rafe’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Why are you making this such a big deal? It’s not like we're actually together. This—" he said, moving his fingers between you two "—is fake, in case you forgot.”
“Oh, right, because it’s so normal for the girl you used to have… whatever with to show up at a party and act like I’m the one intruding.” You shook your head, exasperated. “Forgive me for wanting to understand the situation.”
He shrugged, still not meeting your eyes. “It’s just… old history. Not worth bringing up.”
“Then maybe you should have thought of that before dragging me into this,” you shot back, your voice laced with frustration.
He finally met your gaze, his jaw set. “Dragging you into what? It’s not like I invited her here.”
You raised an eyebrow, challenging him. “Did you invite me here to watch your past blow up in front of us?”
Rafe let out a bitter laugh. “This is what I get for trying to bring you around my friends. Next time, I’ll keep it strictly professional. How’s that?”
You felt a pang of hurt, but you masked it with a tight smile. “Perfect. I’ll remember that for next time, Rafe.” You turned away, taking a few steps back toward the house, hoping he’d get the hint that you were done.
But Rafe’s hand closed gently around your wrist, stopping you. “Wait.” His voice was low, reluctant, but there was a softness there you hadn’t expected.
You turned, catching his gaze, which had softened just slightly. “What?”
He hesitated, then let go of your wrist, his fingers lingering just a moment longer. “I just… I didn’t expect her to react this way. I thought… things were clear between us.”
“Clearly, they’re not,” you replied, unable to keep the edge from your tone.
Rafe sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll try to talk to her, alright? Make sure she understands. But can we just… leave it here?”
You watched him, seeing the frustration, the tension in his shoulders, and you knew he wasn’t about to tell you any more than he already had. So, instead of pushing it further, you forced a casual shrug. “Fine. Whatever. It’s none of my business anyway, right?”
A flicker of something passed across his face—surprise, maybe, or regret. “Right. It’s not,” he said, though his voice was quieter, as if the words didn’t sit right with him.
You nodded, biting back the urge to say anything more. “Great. Glad we’re on the same page.”
An awkward silence settled between you, the tension thick and unresolved. Rafe shifted, glancing toward the house. “We should get back. People will start talking if we’re both out here too long.”
You let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, we wouldn’t want that, would we?” The sarcasm was sharp, but you didn’t care; you were too irritated to soften it.
He shot you a look, somewhere between exasperation and apology, but said nothing as he turned to head back inside. You followed a few paces behind, feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down on you, every unanswered question lingering like a shadow.
Before reaching the door, Rafe paused, his hand resting on the doorknob as he glanced back at you. “Listen…” He hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “It’s… just a lot, okay? Give me some time. I’ll sort it out.”
You held his gaze, unsure whether to believe him, but you nodded once. “Fine. But make it clear, Rafe. I’m not here to play second fiddle to some girl from your past. My life is on the line and I don't have time to worry about this sort of thing.”
He opened his mouth to respond, but whatever he was about to say, he swallowed back. Instead, he gave a tight nod and pushed open the door, slipping back into the noise and light of the party. You followed him and plastered on a fake smile while wondering if you’d ever get the truth out of him.
For the next hour, you put on a mask, pretending everything was fine—like nothing happened. But no matter how hard you tried to push the thoughts away, they lingered, clouding every moment. What was Rafe and Chiara’s relationship? You forced yourself to focus on the laughter, the music, and the warmth of the people around you, determined to enjoy the night with Rafe’s friends. Yet every so often, your mind drifted back to Chiara and Rafe, leaving an uncomfortable knot in your stomach.
Rafe took you around the room, introducing you to his teammates: Topper Thornton, Kelce Miller, JJ Maybank, Pope Heyward, and John B Routledge. They each greeted you with a friendly smile and a welcoming vibe. You found yourself particularly drawn to Topper's lighthearted humor and Pope's quiet charm, making it a bit easier to relax. But it was the girls who truly helped lift your spirits. Their energy was infectious, and you quickly found yourself laughing and swapping stories as if you’d known them forever.
Just as you were in the middle of an animated conversation, you heard someone call out, "Miss supermodel!" You turned to see Topper staggering toward you with a mischievous grin, clearly several drinks deep. “Come drink with us! You haven’t had a single sip all night!”
You couldn’t help but smile as he swayed slightly, holding up a red cup with a challenging look. He finally came in front of you and you had to shake your head. “I’m sorry, Topper. I can’t drink tonight. I’m on contract.”
He whined and threw his head back. “Why? A little sip won’t hurt you, right? Come on, please.”
You laughed, shaking your hands as he pouted dramatically, swaying slightly. “Topper, you’re wasted! I think you’ve had enough for both of us.”
He held his heart in mock offense. “Oh, come on! Just one tiny sip!” He held out the cup, swirling it a little as if to tempt you. “Look, it’s just tequila! You can handle tequila, right?”
You hesitated, glancing down at the cup and then back at his hopeful face. “I really shouldn’t… If anyone from the agency finds out, I’m in trouble.”
“Who’s gonna know? It’s just us here, right?” He looked around, grinning mischievously. “Your secret’s safe with me. And, hey, you can’t just let me be the only one embarrassing myself tonight.”
You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully. “Alright, one sip. But that’s it, okay?”
Topper’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Yes! That’s all I’m asking for.” He held out the cup, his face eager with anticipation.
You took the cup from him, feeling the weight of all the eyes on you as his friends turned to watch, clearly amused by the scene. Raising the cup to your lips, you took a big sip, the tequila burning as it went down. You scrunched your nose at the taste, earning a round of cheers from Topper and the girls.
“There we go! Wasn’t so bad, was it?” he laughed, throwing an arm around your shoulders.
“Awful,” you teased, wiping your lips. “But now you can’t say I didn’t drink with you.”
Topper gave you a victorious grin. “I knew you’d come through! You’re practically one of us now.”
You should’ve known.
Less than an hour later, you were stumbling across the living room, thoroughly tipsy and clinging to Kiara, who was somehow even more drunk than you. The two of you were giggling uncontrollably, reduced to hysterics over the silliest things—the pretzels shaped like animals, the crooked painting on the wall. Every little thing was hilarious, and the alcohol only seemed to amplify your laughter and loosen your inhibitions.
Lost in your little bubble, you didn’t notice Rafe watching from across the room, his gaze sharp and unblinking as he kept tabs on you. He hadn’t seen you like this before—free-spirited, a little reckless, and definitely wilder than he was used to. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched you shout out something along the lines of, “Everyone should just strip already!” before lifting the hem of your top, ready to make good on your words.
That was Rafe’s cue. In a flash, he crossed the room, slipping his hands over yours before you could pull your shirt over your head. His touch was firm, grounding, a stark contrast to the chaos around you. "Whoa there," he murmured, his voice laced with amusement, but his eyes were warm, almost protective.
You blinked up at Rafe, a goofy grin plastered across your face as you realized he was standing right in front of you. The room spun just a little, but his steady hands on yours felt oddly comforting.
“Rafe!” you slurred, beaming as though you hadn’t seen him in days. “Fuck! Isn’t it, like, super hot in here?”
Rafe smirked, shaking his head. “I think that’s just the tequila talking, baby,” he replied, steadying you as you swayed. His fingers stayed wrapped around yours, almost possessive, but he didn’t let go.
You pouted, glancing around at the half-dressed friends who were now laughing at your enthusiastic outburst. “Fine, but I was just trying to help everyone loosen up, you know?”
“Oh, trust me, you’ve definitely loosened up,” he chuckled, his eyes scanning you, both entertained and slightly exasperated. “Maybe… a little too much.”
You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a playful whisper, “You know you enjoy it.”
Rafe’s gaze softened, but there was something else there, too—like he was seeing a side of you he hadn’t before. “Maybe I do,” he replied, his voice low, almost as if the words had slipped out unintentionally. He cleared his throat, his grip tightening on your hands. “But I also love it when you’re not stripping in front of half my team.”
You giggled, reaching up to playfully ruffle his hair. “Aww, big, tough Rafe is jealous I haven’t stripped to him first, is that it?”
Just then, Kiara stumbled over, clearly in search of more entertainment. “Hey! Let’s play a game, everyone!” 
Rafe sighed. “Alright, I think that’s our cue to leave,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he looked back at you.
You tugged on Rafe’s arm, leaning into him with a dramatic pout. “Nooooo… let’s play the game, and then we can go,” you insisted.
“Y/N, you’re beyond wasted,” he said, arching an eyebrow in disbelief. “I doubt you’ll even be able to play the game right.”
“I am not drunk,” you protested, crossing your arms defiantly. The words slurred just slightly, giving you away. Rafe’s skeptical look only deepened. “I’m just a little tipsy,” you amended quickly, giving him a grin. “Come on, don’t be such a buzzkill.”
He hesitated, watching you with a mixture of amusement and concern. For a moment, he seemed ready to argue, but as you flashed him your brightest, most convincing smile, he sighed, a reluctant smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Fine,” he muttered, finally giving in.
You joined everyone on the floor, settling into a circle with a bottle of vodka at the center and shot glasses placed around. The music was turned down, but the room’s energy buzzed with anticipation. You found yourself between Rafe on your left and Sarah on your right. Across from you were Pope, Cleo, John B, and Chiara, each giving you encouraging grins or a raised brow.
Kiara took charge with a gleeful smile. “Alright, you all know how Never Have I Ever works, right?” She scanned the group, receiving nods all around. “Perfect! If anyone wants to skip a question, you take a shot. Simple enough. Should I start?” She tapped her chin playfully before flashing a mischievous grin. “Never have I ever dated someone at least ten years older than me.”
A chorus of laughter and surprised murmurs rippled through the group as Rafe, Kelce, and Topper each dropped a finger. A few gasps followed, and your eyes darted to Rafe, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
"So, you’re into cougars, huh?” you whispered, unable to hide your amused smile.
He shrugged, glancing at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Not anymore,” he murmured, his gaze flicking to your lips. The slow lick he gave his own sent a spark through you, making you gulp and look away quickly. Was it the alcohol, or did he just do that on purpose?
JJ smirked, taking the lead for the next round. “Alright, let’s up the stakes. Never have I ever been in handcuffs…and I don’t mean the kind from a police station.”
The number of people lowering their fingers was surprising. Sarah, John B, Kelce, Chiara, Cleo...and even you. As soon as you put your finger down, Rafe snapped his head in your direction, his eyes wide with surprise. You avoided his gaze, a sly smirk playing on your lips as you focused elsewhere, feeling his lingering stare and the unspoken question in his eyes.
“Lots of naughty people here,” Kiara smirked, eyeing the group of us who had fingers down. Her grin was wicked as she surveyed the room, making everyone squirm just a little. “I see y’all… I see y’all! Alright, someone else ask the next question!”
Topper jumped at the chance, grinning as he dramatically raised a finger. “Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this room,” he declared, looking around with a teasing sparkle in his eyes.
You watched as some people—those who were obviously in relationships (and Chiara)—put their fingers down, laughing and giving each other cute looks. You shrugged, you didn’t relate to that question. You didn’t do anything, leaning back as others shared knowing glances. But then, Rafe nudged your shoulder, leaning down close enough for you to feel his breath against your ear.
“Come on, put a finger down,” he whispered, his voice low and warm. His hand rested on your knee, his thumb grazing in gentle circles, as if to coax you into admitting something.
You shook your head, letting out a sleepy laugh. “I don’t have a crush on anyone,” you slurred, clearly drunk. Your words came out slower, a bit softer, and you could feel Rafe chuckle beside you, probably entertained by how far gone you were.
“Did you forget we’re together?” he asked, amused. Without waiting for your response, he took your hand and put a finger down for you. His touch was gentle, yet possessive.
JJ spotted the exchange, laughter bursting out of him as he pointed at you. “Oh, damn, Rafe! She actually forgot she even likes you!”
Rafe shot him a mock glare, flipping him off with a grin. “That’s on you, fuck-heads, for handing her all those shots,” he retorted, pointing an accusatory finger around the group. “We’re gonna head out soon if she keeps this up.”
“No! Don’t go!” Cleo’s voice suddenly cut through, practically pouting. “I like her! Don’t take her away from me—us!”
Pope waved his hands, laughing as he tried to steer the game back on course. “Alright, let’s just keep this moving before the girls start crying. Here’s one—never have I ever had a threesome.”
The room went quiet, people hesitating to react. Then smirks appeared, and the accusations started flying at JJ, with Topper and a few others pointing fingers. “Come on, man! We literally saw you making out with two girls at once last month!”
You felt the conversation slipping in and out, barely paying attention to the bickering. Your head felt heavy, and with each passing second, you found yourself drifting further. Almost without realizing it, you leaned into Rafe’s shoulder, your head resting there like it had always belonged. His arm wrapped around you, hand trailing up and down your shoulder in comforting circles, and you closed your eyes, feeling strangely at peace. His warmth surrounded you, making the noise around you blur into the background. For a fleeting moment, you wondered if you could stay like this forever.
Across the room, Chiara’s eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the two of you, her jaw clenching almost imperceptibly. Her stare was sharp, piercing, and a flash of something darker seemed to flicker there.
“Hey, guys! Let’s stop arguing and actually play,” Sarah called out, snapping everyone’s attention back to the game. She pointed at you and Rafe, grinning. “Those two are practically out like lights! Okay, here’s one: never have I ever had sex in a movie theater.”
Laughter erupted again as John B hesitated, clearly too shy to admit to anything. You looked up at Rafe, raising an eyebrow playfully as if to ask if he’d ever done something like that. He met your gaze, shaking his head.
When he raised his brow to ask you the same question, you mimicked his gesture, shaking your head. But then, with a mischievous glint in your eye, you leaned into him, dropping your voice to a whisper. “Bathrooms, though… I’ve done it there.” You weren’t sure why you said it—he hadn’t even asked. “I don’t know if that counts…”
Rafe’s brows shot up in surprise, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Guess you’re freakier than you look.”
You chuckled, leaning back. “What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t look like the type?”
He shook his head slowly, letting his eyes wander over you, his gaze lingering on your lips before it drifted back up to your eyes. “Not exactly,” he murmured, voice low.
“Oh?” you asked, hand drifting to rest on his thigh, watching the glint in his blue eyes intensify as he looked down at your hand. “Come on, Cameron. Tell me what I look like, then.”
His fingers traced light patterns under the hem of your shirt, brushing over the skin at your waist in a way that made your breath hitch. He leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “You look like you want to be fucked roughly,” he paused, letting his words linger before he added with a smirk, “but maybe you should get some sleep instead.”
You playfully swatted his arm, pushing yourself upright with a laugh. “Screw you, Rafe.”
With a grin, he pulled you back to his side, wrapping his arms around you as you settled against him again. “Oh, come on, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice gentle but teasing. “You know I’m just messing with you—”
Chiara Romano’s voice cut through the chatter with an edge sharper than before. “Okay, my turn now,” she said, raising her head, her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made you feel uneasy. “Never have I ever…” she paused, letting her gaze linger on you a moment longer, her lips curling into a smirk that held none of the warmth and humor everyone else’s questions had. “... never have I ever filmed myself in the bathroom puking my guts out after eating.”
A shocked silence fell over the room. You felt the air freeze, every eye darting to Chiara in disbelief, and then back to you. The words hit like a punch to the gut, and the humiliation was instant and overwhelming. Your face flushed as the awful memories flooded back—the horrible moment that video had been leaked, exposing your bulimia to the world without mercy. You’d spent months trying to rebuild, to reclaim your own story, but now it was out in the open again, with a cruelty that left you breathless.
Your cheeks flamed with humiliation, and your chest tightened as if the air had been sucked out of the room. You felt every gaze on you, piercing, questioning, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet anyone’s eyes. Your fingers curled around your tighs, gripping tightly, almost leaving red marks.
You closed your eyes the moment you felt tears coming up. You didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, it was embarrassing enough that they got reminded of the most embarrassing moment of your life—crying would embarrass you even more. None of them know what you went through after that video got leaked. No one knew the nights you spent in rehab centers getting mocked for the video—as if everyone there wasn’t in because of mental illnesses too. They didn’t know the amount of strength it took for you to finally get clean… only for you to relapse again this afternoon.
They didn’t fucking know!
Rafe stood up beside you, his body going tense beside you. His jaw clenched as his eyes narrowed at her. “What the fuck is wrong you?” he yelled, his voice sharp, like he was barely holding back.
She shrugged, feigning innocence, though the smirk stayed firmly on her face. “What? I thought we were all sharing our secrets here, right? After all, the video has already been leaked for everyone to see, like, years ago… didn’t think it was such a big deal.”
You felt like you were drowning, the walls closing in on you as Chiara’s words rang in your ears. Without thinking, you bolted for the door, the need to escape driving you forward. You pushed past Rafe, who instinctively reached out for you, but you couldn’t stop. You needed to get out, away from the judgment, away from the stares that felt like daggers. The cold night air hit you as you stepped outside, but it didn’t matter; all you could think about was putting as much distance between yourself and the party as possible.
The rain poured down in sheets, drenching you instantly. You stumbled through the downpour, your heart racing as you made your way toward the car, the asphalt slick and glistening under the streetlights. You couldn’t believe it had come to this, running away like some frightened child, but the humiliation burned too fiercely to stand another moment.
Behind you, you heard Rafe call out your name, his voice cutting through the sound of the rain. “Y/N! Fuck—wait!” He sounded frantic, his tone a mix of worry and urgency. You could hear him rushing after you, his footsteps splashing through puddles as he chased you down.
“Just leave me alone!” you shouted over your shoulder, the words coming out more desperate than you intended. You didn’t want to feel his pity, didn’t want him to see you like this—broken and exposed. 
“Look, I’m so sorry for what she—”
“I don’t want your fucking pity, Rafe!” you turned around to see him running toward you. His clothes clinging to his body. “Just go back there, and leave me alone for the night, alright?”
“I’m not leaving you!” he shouted back, his voice firm. You could hear the determination in his tone, and it both soothed and angered you. Why wouldn’t he just let you go?
You reached the car, fumbling with the door handle, your fingers slipping as the rain poured down, obscuring your vision. You wanted to get inside, to hide from everything—from Chiara, from your mistakes, from the shame that clung to you like a second skin.
Just as you finally got the door open, Rafe was there, blocking your way. He stood next to you, soaking wet but unbothered, his expression fierce and protective. “Y/N, please,” he urged, his voice softer now, almost pleading. “Come on… Just… just talk to me.”
His presence was grounding, but you couldn’t shake off the overwhelming tide of emotions surging through you. “What’s there to talk about?” you asked, your voice broke. “It’s all out there for everyone to see. I couldn’t handle it back then and I… I can’t handle it now. I can’t…” you felt tears pooling at your eyes.
Rafe took a step closer, rain cascading down his face, but he didn’t reach for you. Instead, he held his hands up, palms facing you. “Don’t run away from this.”
“Watch me,” you shot back, glaring at him through tears. “You can’t fix this, Rafe, so just let me go.”
“I am not letting you go,” he insisted. “What she did was cruel—she felt miserable seeing us together. You know better than this.”
“Do I?” you echoed, feeling your own resolve wavering as you locked eyes with him. “It’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one with the history she just exposed. You’re not the one who’s been ridiculed for something that was leaked against your will!”
“Neither am I the one hiding in a corner, sulking because some jealous bitch decided to take a cheap shot,” Rafe countered, his frustration evident. “You’re stronger than this, so stop acting like you’re not. Stand up for yourself!”
“Stand up for myself?” You laughed, a hollow sound that echoed in the rain. “And how do you suggest I do that? By going back there and asking her to apologize? By acting like it doesn’t hurt?”
“Why give her the satisfaction of knowing she’s getting to you?”
“Because it’s easy!” you snapped, frustration boiling over. “It’s easier to run away and hide than it is to face the pain! Don’t you get that? I thought I was done with all of this, and now I’m just… I’m back to square one. I thought you understood me better than that.”
“Clearly, I don’t,” he said, his tone cutting. “You want to hide, and I’m not going to let you hide from yourself. I care about you, Y/N...”
You felt your heart pound in your chest, caught between anger and a flicker of something deeper. “What you care about is saving face. You want the perfect girlfriend who can handle anything. But I’m not that person, Rafe. I’m a mess. I have issues, and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.”
He stepped closer, the tension between you thick and electric. “And I’m not asking you to pretend. I’m asking you to be real. To be honest about what you’re feeling. We can face this if you’d just let me help you instead of pushing me away.”
You hesitated, the rain drumming a steady rhythm around you as you stared at him. “Maybe I don’t want your help. Maybe I don’t need anyone to fix me.”
“Then why the hell are you running away from this?” he challenged, his voice rising again. “Because it’s too hard? Because it makes you uncomfortable? Life is uncomfortable, Y/N! That’s the reality, and running away doesn’t change that.”
“I just don’t want to do this right now,” you shot back, the weariness of the night creeping in. “I didn’t sign up for a therapy session. I wanted to have fun, to forget, and now it feels like I’m being dragged back into all the crap.”
Rafe’s expression softened slightly, but his resolve remained. “And you can’t forget by ignoring it. You have to face it, and I’m not going to let you do it alone. If that means we argue, then so be it. But I’m not walking away.”
You looked away, biting your lip to keep the frustration at bay. “Maybe you should. Maybe it would be easier for both of us.”
“Easier? For who?” he challenged but you couldn’t answer him anymore.
You didn’t have the strength to fight. You sighed. “Can you get me home or not?”
He ran his hands through his buzzcut and nodded. “You’re not gonna say goodbye to everyone?” You shook your head, not wanting to get back in there and look at them staring at you. “Alright… get in the car, then.”
You climbed into the passenger seat, the cool leather sticking to your damp clothes. Rafe slipped in beside you, his jaw set, hands gripping the wheel. Neither of you said a word, the silence thick and uncomfortable, each of you lost in your own thoughts. You stared out the window, watching the raindrops race each other down the glass, trying to focus on anything other than the weight of the tension that hung between you.
Your heart was still pounding, the adrenaline from the confrontation lingering in your veins. You could feel the shame gnawing at you, the humiliation settling into a deep, aching hollow inside you. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Rafe shifting in his seat, glancing at you every so often, his mouth twitching as if he wanted to say something. But he kept quiet, his gaze fixed on the rain-soaked road ahead. His fingers tapped against the steering wheel, a small, nervous rhythm that betrayed the stillness in the car.
The silence was suffocating, heavy with words unsaid. You could feel the questions he wanted to ask, the concern he held back, but he didn’t press. Part of you appreciated it, yet another part of you wished he would just break the silence, say something to shatter this unbearable quiet.
You stole a glance at him, his brow furrowed, jaw clenched. He was clearly wrestling with something, struggling between respecting your need for space and his own instinct to reach out. But his restraint made everything feel even more surreal, like the two of you were strangers again, pretending not to know each other’s pain.
Eventually, you wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling the chill of your damp clothes seep into your skin.
When he pulled up in front of your apartment building, he kept the engine running, his hands still gripping the wheel tightly. He didn’t make any move to get out or say goodbye. He just sat there, glancing out the window before looking back at you, his lips parting slightly as if he might finally say something.
With a quiet sigh, you pushed the door open, stepping out into the drizzle that had softened into a gentle mist. The cold bit into your skin, but you barely noticed. You closed the door behind you, barely looking back, willing yourself not to dwell on the weight of his stare as you turned toward the entrance of your building—but you paused, feeling a pang of dread at the thought of stepping into your apartment alone. The quiet and emptiness that usually felt like a sanctuary now seemed suffocating. You hesitated, glancing back at the car where Rafe still sat, staring out into the rain.
Before you could second-guess yourself, you turned back and walked toward him, knocking gently on his window. He looked up, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty crossing his face as he rolled the window down. The awkwardness was palpable, hanging between you like a fragile thread.
“Do you… want to come up?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just—I just don’t feel like being alone right now.” You glanced away, feeling vulnerable, exposed. This wasn’t easy to admit, especially not to him.
Rafe blinked, clearly caught off guard. He hesitated, the tension in his posture softening as he considered your request. “Uh, yeah… sure,” he replied, though there was a touch of awkwardness in his voice, like he wasn’t sure he was the right person for this. Still, he killed the engine and got out of the car, following you toward the entrance.
Inside the building, you moved wordlessly up the stairs together, the elevator’s light out as usual. The quiet between you was no longer charged with unspoken tension but instead carried a strange, subdued calm. Each step felt heavier, and you could feel his presence just a few inches behind you, grounding you in a way that felt strangely comforting.
When you finally reached your door, you unlocked it and stepped inside, flicking on a dim light that bathed the space in a warm, muted glow. Rafe followed, taking in the familiar yet intimate details of your apartment as he shrugged off his jacket. He looked unsure, like he didn’t quite know where to stand or what to say, so he hovered near the doorway.
You offered him a small, grateful smile and gestured toward the couch. “You can sit, if you want. I’ll make some tea or something,” you mumbled, moving toward the kitchen before he could respond. The warmth of your apartment slowly started to chip away at the lingering chill from the rain outside, and you felt a hint of comfort beginning to settle in.
When you returned with two mugs, Rafe had taken a seat on the couch, his gaze still wandering around the room, perhaps more at ease now. He accepted the tea with a quiet “thanks,” and you sat beside him, the silence stretching out once more, but this time it didn’t feel as heavy. 
You can feel the heat radiating from his body, close enough that your knees almost touch, and every so often, your eyes meet and then dart away, a faint spark igniting each time.
It’s you who finally breaks the voice, your voice soft. “I’m going to change. I can… One of my friends’ left his clothes there, I can give them to you, if you want?”
Rafe looked up from his mug, his expression caught between surprise and a hesitant relief. “Yeah, that’d be… that’d be great,” he replied, glancing down at his damp clothes, his shoulders relaxing slightly.
You rose from the couch, moving to your room to dig through the small pile of clothes left behind from friends. Finding an oversized hoodie and some sweatpants, you returned and handed them to him, offering a half-smile. “They might be a little big, but better than wet clothes.”
He nodded, accepting them with a quiet “Thanks,” and stepped into the bathroom to change. The moment he was out of sight, you took a deep breath, feeling the quiet around you settle into something both calm and unfamiliar, his presence somehow easing the edges of your earlier anxiety. You wrapped your arms around yourself, still shaken by everything that had happened, but also oddly comforted by knowing you weren’t alone tonight.
When he emerged, dressed in the loose-fitting hoodie and sweats, he looked different—more relaxed, less guarded. He took a tentative step back into the living room, running a hand through his damp hair as he caught your eye, almost sheepish.
You managed a faint smile, gesturing to the couch again, and he sank down beside you. He set his mug on the table, his fingers fidgeting slightly before he leaned back, settling in.
“Well, I... I’ll just go change. Make yourself comfortable,” you said, your voice soft but inviting. Leaving Rafe in the living room, you headed to your bedroom, slipping into a comfortable black tank top and a pair of Hello Kitty pajama pants—the ones Nina, your agent, gifted you when you’d first arrived in the U.S. They were worn in with memories, each time you wore them a reminder of how far you’d come. You removed your makeup and pulled your hair into a ponytail, feeling lighter and more yourself.
When you reemerged, you noticed Rafe standing in the hallway, intently studying a small collection of photos you had on the wall. You approached him quietly, noticing that he was particularly focused on a picture of you from when you were nineteen, dressed in a deep green saree at a friend’s wedding in the States. You were surrounded by your group of friends, all of you smiling.
“You looked beautiful,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as though speaking louder might disturb something precious in the moment.
“Thank you…” you murmured, feeling a soft warmth rise in your cheeks. You glanced back at the photo, remembering how special that day was. “I really like this one. I’d just arrived here and didn’t know many people yet. Then a few friends invited me to the wedding, and I felt... confident, you know? Like I could start fresh here. And wearing a saree again just felt like home—the color, everything... It was my first time going to a wedding here.”
“And how did it feel?” he asked, genuinely curious.
You let out a small laugh, recalling the night. “It was just like back home, only better in some ways. No one really knew who I was, so I didn’t have any aunties critiquing me. Though they did make sure I had enough food to last a week,” you chuckled, a smile playing at the corner of your lips. The memory was comforting, a reminder of the warmth that had welcomed you into this new life.
“The color suits you,” he said, his eyes still lingering on the photo before meeting yours with a hint of a smile.
“You sure you’re not only saying that because it’s your favorite co—”
Before you could finish your phrase, he closed the space between you, his hands finding your face as he pulled you into a rough, heated kiss. His lips crashed against yours with a passion that caught you completely off guard, leaving you breathless, swept up in the sudden intensity of his need.
When he finally pulled back, your pulse was racing, and you stared at him, dazed. “Why… why did you kiss me?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper, still trying to catch your breath.
A slow smirk spread across his face as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “I wanted to know what you tasted like… again,” he murmured, his voice thick with a teasing confidence that made your cheeks flush.
You swallowed, still feeling the lingering heat of his lips. “And what do I taste like?”
He studied your lips for a moment, then met your gaze with a dangerous glint. “Come il mio,” he said softly in Italian, his words like a promise before his mouth captured yours again, this time slower but just as consuming.
Without breaking the kiss, he guided you back into the living room, his hands firm as they slid around your waist, drawing you close. He lowered you onto the sofa, his lips moving from your mouth to trace a path down the curve of your neck, igniting your skin with each graze of his mouth. His hand slipped to the small of your back, pressing you deeper into the cushions as he continued kissing you, his breath warm against your skin, leaving you dizzy and yearning for more.
You moaned softly when he kissed and sucked the curve just below your collarbone. His lips pressed firmly against your skin, his mouth hot and possessive. The gentle graze of his teeth sent a jolt of desire through you, leaving you breathless and wanting for more. He lingered there, sucking and kissing with a fervor that made you ache for him, making you grind against him unconsciously.
“That’s going to show, Cameron,” you tried to scold him, breathless, feeling both exposed and exhilarated as he moved lower, tracing the outline of your neck.
A wicked smile curled at the corners of his lips, his breath warm against your skin as he murmured, “Good. I want everyone to know.” The rasp of his voice, thick with desire, made your insides flutter as he leaned in closer, his mouth capturing the tender skin just below your ear. 
He pulled back slightly, his eyes dark and hungry as they roamed over you. Your flushed skin, your red and pulped lips, and your hard nipples. He was admiring the evidence of his claim. The look in his gaze made your pulse quicken, both thrilling and intoxicating, as if he were savoring the sight of you beneath him.
“Shit! You look perfect like this,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over one of the marks he’d left behind. The softness of his touch contrasted sharply with the heat pooling in your core, making you feel both cherished and utterly desired. “Like you belong to me.”
You sat up abruptly, a surge of confidence washing over you as you peeled off your top, revealing your bare breasts to the air without a hint of shame. Maybe it was the way his eyes roamed over you, filled with wonder and desire, as if you were the most beautiful sight he had ever encountered. Or perhaps it was the intoxicating buzz of alcohol still coursing through your veins, amplifying your boldness.
Either way, you didn't care.
“I’m the luckiest motherfucker on earth,” he muttered to himself, his voice low and awestruck, before sinking back onto the sofa, his lips finding your skin with fervor. His mouth was like fire against your breasts as he sucked and kissed, igniting a wild heat within you. You threaded your fingers through his closely cropped hair, tugging gently as you lost yourself in the pleasure of his touch. His tongue flicked against your nipple, sending delicious shivers coursing through your body, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you had gone so long without him.
As his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your pants, your breath hitched with anticipation. His hand glided up your thighs, tantalizingly close to where you needed him most. “Rafe…” you breathed, your voice trembling with longing. “Please…”
“Please what?” he challenged, his tone teasing but laced with desire. “Tell me what you need, baby.”
“Just… touch me. I want you to touch me,” you moaned, your hips instinctively rolling against his hard cock-straining against the fabric of the sweatpants you gave him.
“Touch you where?”
His playful question sent a spark of frustration through you, and instead of answering verbally, you guided his hand, placing it firmly on your pussy. “Here. Touch me here. Please…”
In an instant, your pajama pants were gone, discarded like the inhibitions that had held you back. He kissed his way down your stomach, trailing hot kisses over the fabric of your panties, before moving to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. A shiver ran down your spine, and you couldn’t resist glancing down at him, but something tugged at your thoughts. You called out his name, your voice breathy.
“Yes, baby?” he replied, looking up with hunger.
“Take it off.” You pointed at his shirt, and without hesitation, he stripped it off in one smooth motion, revealing his chiseled torso. He climbed over you, his body hovering just above yours, radiating warmth and strength. You couldn’t help but reach out, exploring his body—his hair, his lips, his broad chest, and the defined muscles of his abs.
With a sudden intensity, he kissed you again, their lips melding together as if they were made for one another. But after a moment that felt too short, he pulled away and descended between your legs once more.
Just the image of him between your legs could make you come.
“God, I want to taste you,” he groaned, his fingers touching your clit through your panties. “Tell me, pretty, do you want me to taste you?”
You nodded.
“Words, baby.”
“I do,” you moaned, your nails digging into his shoulders as you wrapped your legs around him. “I want you so fucking much, gosh!”
As the heat in the room swelled, just when you thought Rafe would finally remove your underwear, he suddenly stopped. His hands ran frantically through his hair as he began to pace around your living room, his agitation palpable. Confusion washed over you, your brow furrowing in concern as you sat up.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Rafe, please talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I can’t do it,” he said, shaking his head, the anguish in his eyes cutting through the atmosphere like a knife. “I can’t do this—”
“Do what? What are you talking about?” Panic tightened your chest as you searched his face for answers.
“Have sex with you,” he finally admitted, his gaze finally locking onto yours. “I can’t have sex with you, Y/N.”
The world around you faded, and a cold wave of vulnerability crashed over you, leaving you feeling exposed and raw. Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes as you scrambled to grab your black top from the floor, pulling it over your head, a desperate attempt to cover not just your body but the aching hurt in your heart. “Wha… why? Why can’t you? We were doing so well… I thought it was good.”
Rafe stepped closer, his expression softening but shadowed with pain. He cupped your cheeks in his warm hands, but instead of comfort, it felt worsel. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, as if he were trying to transfer some of his strength to you. But then, he turned and walked toward the hallway to put on his shoes, and the ache in your chest grew.
You couldn’t let him leave like this. Panic surged through you as you sprang to your feet, rushing to the door to block his path. “Tell me why,” you insisted, your voice cracking as you wiped away the tears that had begun to fall.
“Y/N, you’re drunk…”
“So are you! You’re tipsy!” you threw your arms up in frustration. “Why does that matter? I want you. You want me—”
“Because I don’t want you to regret it,” he said, his voice breaking as if the words were tearing him apart. He sighed deeply, the weight of his decision hanging heavy between you. “I don’t want you to hate yourself when you wake up in the morning because you slept with me.”
“That’s not going to happen, Rafe. Please don’t leave. Stay here with me—we don’t have to do anything,” you pleaded, desperation dripping from your every word. 
But his mind was made up. He leaned in, brushing his lips softly against yours one last time, a sweet farewell filled with unspoken emotions. As he asked you to step aside, you felt a piece of your heart crack. You moved reluctantly, watching as he walked toward the elevator, each step echoing in your mind like a countdown to the end.
Just before the doors closed, he turned back, his expression a mixture of regret and sorrow that mirrored your own. “I am sorry, sweetheart.”
And then he was gone.
Since then, you haven't heard from him in two weeks.
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chapter six
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codnriddlewhore · 2 months ago
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Don't do this | a Tom Riddle oneshot
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A/N: HII soo this is my first attempt at fics, dont hesitate to say anything, good or bad
k have fun :))
tags: professor tom riddle/professor reader, marriage, angst, horcruxes, sorry if i forget any
wc: 1,584
They've been together, inseparable for 3 years, married for 2 and a half. 
Tom saw her as an equal as much as someone like him could, she entranced his very being. They talked about subjects he was interested in, in a very objective and intelligent way and he was in awe when he realised he found a match, someone that could understand his fascinations and obsessions. She mostly didn't share them but she was open, he could ask her at 2 in the morning which one of the unforgivable 
curses she'd use to get information from someone and she'd genuinely give it some thought. 
Her fascinations lay more in the zoological department, muggle and magical. She spent hours in forests and jungles, the beings holding her attention for hours. Though, like Tom, she found it hard to open up to people and find like-minded individuals not just regarding creatures but life in general. When he asked to come with her on one of her shorter research-trips, she felt her body and sould levitate. Her greatest wish has always been to grow old with someone loving by her side, someone who she'd love back with her whole self.  Is it him? She hoped so and prayed every night.
He felt the same when she asked about his sketches and faveorite books. Tom Riddle, the usually selfish and greedy man, suddenly interested in the eccentric and always joyful zoology professor? He cursed himself for it, a good 5 months before talking to her for the first time. 
Now she is staying at his home in the country, a dark penthouse by the sea. To be specific, it is not as dark now, he found that she brought more light into it than any possible lamp. 
As dreamy as this may sound, but like in every married life, there's always small and petty arguments. Like now, her sitting in bed and reading, not giving him half an ounce of attention while he looked at her from the doorframe. 
He mentioned horcruxes and the sheer idea of immortality a few times, even on the day they met, but she simply laughed it off. Who would want to be soulles? It seemed absurd. 
But yesterday evening, when he explained that he wants to go through with his plan of doing so, she couldn't bare to give him more than a gulp and ignorance. He was being mean.
"Apologise, so we can spend at least the evening as a couple. It's cold to sleep without you in my arms." Tom meant it genuinely, but his tone was rough. He didn't understand her problem.
She simply kept on reading, like he didn't even exist. He groaned in annoyance and that did it. 
"I'm sorry, did my back damage your knife in any way? Do excuse me", he winced and didn't know if it was because of her closing her book shut loudly or her words. Probably the latter. 
"What do you mean?"
She exhaled in confusion. Did he actually not see the problem? 
"Tom. You outright told me that you want to split your soul from your body and divide it into 7 different parts. Oh and that you want to live forever. Do you not understand why I'm upset?"
"I'm going to be honest, no, I don't. I find you're being ridiculous, this is a marvelous discovery. "
"Well it is, which on the other hand doesn't mean you have to partake in it!" she says as she sits up straighter in the bed. 
He sees that and mirrors her reaction, standong up straight and putting his hands in the pockets of his pyjama pants. 
"Why not? It would help me be more focused on my work and goals and I wouldn't be occupied with unnecessary matters."
"Like me?" His wife didn't know if she regretted saying that, but it came out in the same second he ended his sentence.
Quiet.
"Don't do this. Of course not like you, you matter a huge deal. This would benefit me in every part of my life, I'd be the most powerful wozard that ever lived. There's been noone else more powerful than Death in the history of wizardry and it could be your husband, how are you not the least bit proud?"
"Proud!? You want me to be proud!? What else should I do, throw you a party and congratulate you on a life of pure damnation!?"
She was now standing approximately 1 horizontal man away from him, on a good way to become furious. 
"Damnation? I hope you mean admiration and being seen with respect, fear and devotion for the rest of time."
"Tommy?" She only called him that when she felt truly helpless or frustrated.
"Yes darling?"
Her voice went almost inaudible, "Where am I in that wonderful way of living you so dream of?"
"By my side." He was sure of that and knew he needed her in this. She'd be his queen in the whole thing.
She breaks into a series of scoffs, some distrustful and some humorous, she found the situation quite absurb. What were they even discussing? 
"I'll age! I'll age and be old and grey and wrinkly and youll still be thirty! It'll look ridiculous."
Was it embarrassing he hadn't thought of that? 
"There's plenty of spells to slow down aging." Stupid Riddle.
"Great Havens. If we put that aside, what about your soul? You'll be a shell of the man you truly are. How do you explain that?"
"What? Thats foolish, I'll be myself!"
"You'll be a soulless man! Only goal driven and shutting out everything else! We'll never again talk about life and the universe late at night, you'll never again appreciate me making you tea when you forget the time in your study and we'll never joke about the future and raising an army of baby wizards who we'll name after the imaginary friends we had as children. We'll never go to the city again and you'll never pick out a flower I adore and buy it behind my back to surprise me later although I'd always catch you and we'll never buy cheesy and ironic books for each other in that beautiful old book store we love. Now call me crazy and soft, but I happen to cherish these things."
It was hard to look him in the eyes during saying all that, but she needed to get her point across. She also despised herself for tearing up at this very moment, walking towards him with a pointed finger.
"Tommy, I swore to support and love you in everything you do, but- but taking the soul of the man I love from me-", she hesitated, wanting to stop her voice from breaking and breath from hitching.
He gulped. This was unfair.
"Don't do this."
"-taking that; now that's too much for me. I can't stand behind that."
"You're being cruel."
"I'm not the only one."
That stung, it stung them both at the same time. In the end, they were both just people. She was now standing very few inches infront of him, pointing at his chest, barely holding herself together. 
"You know what? Do it. I wont stop you or hold you back. That was never my goal."
"I don't understand. Forst you can't stand behind it then you say go ahead."
"If this makes you happy, what I truly doubt, you'll do it without me."
That made his dinner almost come up slightly, it was never an option. 
"You can't just leave now, you know I love you. Do you not love me anymore? Is that what you're trying to say?", he knew it spounded mean but he hoped to get the point across, he was genuinely wondering.
"Oh don't twist this. I'll always love you with every part of me, body, soul, mind and all, as long as I live, that's why I can't-
that's why I can't watch you do this..."
"So what are you going to do? Just leave? You know you can't do that." He didn't quite believe that she would. Was it cowardly to start a fight rather than comfort her or express his own feelings? He'd have to look into that.
She breathed in, deeper than ever before. It was important that she stays collected now.
"Fine. I'll leave when you do it. That way you wont miss me."
Tom Riddle never got dizzy, he was too aware of his surroundings for that. Yet, now he was holding  onto the doorframe next to him with such strength, that his knuckles turned paper white. He was also afraid to touch her, even breath in her direction, because she might fully disappear already.
"You can't...you can't be serious..." It was more of a whispered plea than a threat. 
She on the other hand, felt that she needed to touch him or else this stupid boat of too many emotions for both of them would sink to the bottom of the deepest point in the ocean. His cold cheeks warmed at the touch of her palms. In that very moment he also exhaled briefly, still finding deep-rooted comfort in her, even at this time. Her eyes filled with tears, to the brim this time and she ignored them, it was no time to sob now. Her right hand caressed his hair; like it was any other moment they shared before.
"I'm sorry Tommy. I really wanted us to get grey and wrinkly together."
to be continued...
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tatoasting · 2 years ago
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Its the not knowing that drives me crazy.
#hollow#one day this tag will no longer be used but this is fucking with me so much right now so whatever#its crazy how happy he made me... like...#ugh#idk#I cant stop thinking about it#I knew he wasnt forever. I dont think losing him is even the upsetting part#its just that like. I cant trust myself! if I think I can trust people like him then I cant trust myself#and thats so mindfucky#and all I want is to see him again. thats the big problem#and its just because I want to know. I want answers. but I should know better... he wont give me any#no ones more obsessed with honesty than a liar. I think thats what I've learned here.#but like... he had a girlfriend for over a year and she didnt know. I assume she didnt know anyway#oh god did I know them during their anniversary? I hate that.#but like. he was so good that no one knew.... how does that happen? how does someone keep something like that?#how the fuck is she handling this right now?? if I were her I'd be devastated. that would ruin me.#like. this guy was for sure sleeping with other people (almost including me. thank fuck that didnt happen but he asked.)#I dont know how much she knows. she deserves to know it all. if she wanted to... I wish I could tell her what I know.#and I wish I could know what she knows#but I have no way of finding her. theres no information on her anywhere. I found an old facebook of one of his exes but not her...#shit fuck aa#I just remembered when he told me how fucking sad he was and he was so alone and basically other than me he had no one#I want to rip his throat out through his eyeholes#you know. he quit his job on a big trauma day for me. and then proceeded to not have one for the entirety of me knowing him#he didnt really have hobbies. just played video games.#I just figured he had absolutely nothing going on. he just slept all day and did nothing.#always complaining about being useless to society...#liarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarfuckyoufuckyoufuckyou#I dont know what to believe anymore. maybe I do want to fucking forget him. this is all so bullshit.#I want him out of my fucking head already. I'm tired of him. he doesnt deserve my thoughts and my suffering.
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