#like get the fuck over yourselves for six seconds and realize BOTH groups got fucking screwed over in different ways

[ranger-kellyn]

I swear to god I’m so fucking sick of people wanting to have a pissing contest of their pains and traumas. Not a single one of us is making it out of this shit life unscathed, why are we having a competition over who had it the “worst”??? It all sucked!! The system is failing all of us!! Having a pissing contest with each other does literally nothing to solve those problems!!!!

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

Ignorance is Blitzed (Part Three)

Ron Speirs x Reader

Summary: When you come into contact with some substance that makes you sick while on a routine building search, Ron realizes he may not be as emotionally detached as he’d thought initially thought.

Warnings: war-typical violence, a (literally) dashing nightmare magpie prince, potty words, angst maybe?, a few ocs but don’t get too attached bbs, a very sad attempt at witty dialogue ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If you weren’t convinced that Dike was moments from getting himself, you,  and the rest of Easy killed, you would’ve sworn that you were going to kill him yourself.

At least if you shot him, it meant that someone who actually knew what they were doing could take his place, and that meant that something like this would never happen again.

There may not be an Easy Company left to save, in a few seconds….

You, Christenson, and a few replacements had found cover behind the shell of a truck, a few yards up the field from the hay bale you knew Dike to be hiding behind. 

“What in the fuck is happening over there?” Christenson shouted, the replacements trying their best to hold cover while the two of you desperately tried to figure out a way to get somewhere more tactical to alleviate the fire currently being hailed upon all of you like some biblical plague.

“Dike’s being a pussy!” one of the replacements replied before a bullet dinged him in the helmet and he cursed pitchily. “Why isn’t anyone doing anything—?”

You could hear shouting from the hay bale, so you knew your friends over there were still alive and trying to do something.

If we stay here, we’ll die before we can even try to do something helpful.

“What’s CP doing?” you shout to the replacement on your left, grabbing his vest and pulling him down out of the line of fire. “Use you binoculars—!”

With (understandably) fumbling  hands, the young man brings the apparatus to his face and scans the tree line, cursing aloud each moment that passes and he can’t see them.

Anxious energy has you so keyed up your body is trembling, but you know that if you rush him it’ll just stress him out and make it worse.

“Good job,” you say, even though both you and he know that he hasn’t really accomplished anything yet. “I’ve got you covered, just let me know whenever—”

“Got em.”

Both you and Chistenson share a look of minute relief. So far, this was the first thing about this godforsaken day that had gone right.

At least the lot of you hadn’t been left to die.

“What do you see, Nelson?” the other replacement, Grante with an ‘E’, called as he reloaded his gun. “Does it look like they’re on the radio—?”

“Winters is coming—no, wait!”

You spot a runner for the Germans from your peripheral, and without hesitation you take aim and subdue them. 

Six months ago I would’ve shot to wound….what would my family say if they saw me now?

They’d have to talk to you first, and you weren’t sure if that would ever happen again.

“Oh, shit…..it’s your boyfriend—”

“What?!”  

You squint stupidly in the direction of the trees, seeing nothing but suddenly terrified at the prospect of having to watch Nix or Bull or Grant (or whoever else these dicks you worked with decided you were sleeping with) get killed in their stupid attempt at bravery.

Unless he means….

You watch someone burst through the smoke of a target-missing mortar blast, charging like some avenging God of War towards the hay bale shrouding Dike, Lip, Luz, and however many more of your friends were trapped behind before disappearing.

Ron Speirs, you goddamned psychopath.

“Fuck.” you bit out, turning to Christenson and getting his attention. “Any sign of I Company?”

The four of you initially had been part of a bigger group, and your aim had been to hook up along the outer fringes with some of I Company and create a perimeter from which the Nazi soldiers would be unable to escape or send for reinforcements. 

Christenson nodded. “They look like they’re waiting on us—”

“Yeah, well tell ‘em to get in line!” Grante barked unhelpfully, his voice cracking and reminding you just how young he was. “We’re waiting on us, too!”

You hear a shout of your last name, and when you look back to the hay bale you see that Ron and Lipton are waving to get your attention.

When you meet Ron’s eyes you see the fire of battle raging inside of him, and you can’t help but feel relief that Dike was no longer in charge of your fate.

Using hand signals that had been drilled into your head ever since Georgia you tell him and Lip that five of your party are down, but you have eyes on I Company and just need the okay to hook up with them.

You watched as the two men spoke to eachother, and when they turned away from you you imagined they were relaying what you’d said to Luz so he could let Sink know your intentions.

After a few moments, Speirs tells you with quick and precise motions that you are good to go— he has cover fire arranged for your group so you can dash the final 200 yards into the building you knew housed I Company.

You shoot him a thumbs up before turning to Christenson and nodding excitedly.

“Ready, kids?” you ask, and when they voice their readiness you make a dash for it, leaving the shell of protection the car provided behind and running as quickly as you could towards the bombed out farmhouse, the sound of heavy breathing letting you know that at least Christenson was right behind you.

You don’t look back, can’t look back- all that mattered right now was forward and careful and shouting “flash FLASH FLASH!”

The call of THUNDER preceded you and Christenson all but throwing yourselves through the doorway and into the arms of the five I Company men you’d arranged to meet.

“Fuck, where’ve you been?!” one of them is shouting in your face, and you glare at them qyuickly before looking to where a blood-speckled Nelson is gasping for breath in the doorway. Grante was nowhere to be seen, and one look from Nelson told you that the younger man hadn’t made it.

“The salon, getting my hair permed.” you deadpan to the rifleman, finding the CO and shaking his hand.

“Where do you want us?”

He nods and waves Christenson and Nelson over. “Just this way, ma’am….”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“Ho-ly shit.”

You look up at the I Company CO (Parker, you remember quickly)  parts of a jammed machine gun between your legs as you desperately attempt to fix Nelson’s weapon.

“What?” you ask, fingers moving faster than your mind can keep up with as you quickly dislodge the shrapnel from the chamber of the gun and begin putting the thing back together on reflex.

You had been holding the line for the past hour, and for that hour the same question had been on everyone’s mind. “Tanks? Did we miss a runner—?”

Where the fuck is the rest of Easy? They should’ve been here by now to check in….

When the gun is reassembled, you shove it into the replacement’s hand and move to see what has Parker so excited, hoping beyond hope that you’d see the faces of your friends rushing to meet you.

To your horror, you only saw one face, and it happened to be the face of the man who made a point to be the one who woke you up each morning with a full canteen and the promise of breakfast.

Of course it’s going to be someone important to me, my…..whatever it is he is to me.

 “Where’s everybody?” Christenson shouted, an unfazed Ron breezing past him to quickly grab the ammo and sling it over his shoulder.

Ron goes straight to the CO and starts talking to him in harsh tones under his breath, yet his eyes still search the room until they find yours.

He’s okay, he’s safe and he’s here now. It’s okay.

You give him a nod before moving on to the next jammed weapon that had been shoved into your hands wordlessly by Christenson after he takes one of the German ones from a body next to him.

Fucking Dike. He’d have us fighting with slingshots and pebbles if it meant he got to stay warm at the CP. Half of us didn’t even have weapons until Bill and Babe started repossessing the Army’s shit. If we survive this, I’m going to kill Dike, I swear to God….

You fix the gun, glad it was only a minor fix that was needed this time. When you look back to Ron, he’s tightening his helmet on his head and looking back the way he had just come.

Goddamnit. Of course he’s running back into danger. He’s Ron fucking Speirs.

You shake yourself from your stupor and quickly rush over to him as he picks up the last of his things and prepares to go.

When he looks up at you, you shove the rifle you’d taken off the corpse of a German you’d come across on your last scouting mission into his hands and take his standard issued one away.

“Take this one,” you say breathlessly, as if you were the one who had been running. “It holds more rounds and shoots cleaner.”

He nods, eyes wild with adrenaline as he scans you over for any sign of injury.

“You good?” he asks, and you nod and try to shrug casually.

It’s hard, you are also nearly vibrating with adrenaline and nervous energy.

“I’d ask you the same, but clearly you’ve got a death wish, so—”

Before you can finish chastising him, his rough hands come up to grip your face and he smashes his lips to yours in a rough kiss that’s nearly bruising in its force.

Oh...OH. Oh shit!

You inhale sharply through your nose, head tilting back as he steps into you and puts his hands on your shoulders and squeezed.

You gape at him stupidly when he pulls back and feel the blood rushing to your cheeks in surprise at his boldness.

You hadn’t been kissed since long before Georgia, hadn’t wanted to be kissed or coddled or shown too much affection because in your relatively short life, you’d come to know unreserved compassion as a weakness. 

“Love is nice but it isn’t reliable. Life isn’t a fairytale, sweetheart— everything has a price.

Nothing can hurt you if you don’t let it matter in the first place….”

Well, Mom— I’m doing my best, but I just don’t know if you’re right about this one, not this time….

Ron smirks down at you with such a self-satisfied look you smack him lightly on the chest on reflex rather than due to any actual upset.

“Yell at me later.” he offers when you open your mouth to speak, and with one more quick, breath-stealing kiss he’s gone again, running into enemy fire far too casually for your liking.

When you turn to watch him go you catch Christenson staring at you, a similar expression of shock on his face.

Ok, so I didn’t dream that, that actually happened.

You have to literally shake your head in order to get through the surprise, and when you do a weird pit of anger forms in your stomach.

That fucker better live, because he can’t just do that and run off.

You square your shoulders and grab the newly repaired gun at your feet, going to the hole in the wall and shooting at anything that looks as if it may mean Ron Speirs any harm.

He rolls over a stone fence, and you can’t help but shake your head.

He’s fucking with my plans, that son of a bitch. 

“So, uh….that was—”

“Shut up, Christenson. Just…. shut up.”

You hear the hitch of a chuckle from his direction. 

“Bull will be happy—”

“Shut. The fuck. Up! Keep shooting, you damn fucking child….!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Ask him how far away their backup is.”

You nod to Dick, dutifully repeating the question to the bruised and bloodied german soldier who sat before a group of you after his comrade had identified him as his superior officer.

You listen to the mumbled reply and nod. “About three hours by foot, an hour if you cut through fields.”

“Ask him for a number. How many miles? How many villages?”

You press him for specifics, but he just spits bloodily at Dick’s feet before calling him something you couldn’t fully translate (but assumed was insulting).

“I’ll take it that’s a no on getting specifics.” Nix smirked, stepping to the soldier and grabbing him bodily by the arm. “I think battalion’s gonna love you—”

You squeeze your eyes shut as Lewis leads the captured man to a truck where the others are waiting to be transported back to wherever they’d set up HQ, pinching at the pressure point at the top of the bridge of your nose in a vain attempt to ease some of the pain of your stress headache.

“Headache?” Winters asks, and you instantly lower your hand and straighten up.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” 

He chuckles at that, giving you a knowing look. “I think you and I both know you could lose a limb and still insist that you’re fit for duty.”

You scoff a laugh. “I suppose it would depend on which limb…. and what duty, Sir.”

He looks at you with all the exhaustion of a first time father, and you laugh in earnest.

“Go see someone if it gets too bad.”

“Sir.” you nod.

You smile as you watch him walk away, catching up with Nixon and falling into step with the man easily.

How I got accused of screwing Nixon and Winters hasn’t, I’ll never understand….

Turning to look back at the war-torn downtown, you catch Grant’s eye and he waves you over.

By the time you get to him, you find that he isn’t alone.

Leaning against the wall beside your friend is Ron Speirs, looking far too at ease for someone who you had spotted running through enemy tanks not an hour before.

“Heard you had an exciting day!”

You freeze, eyes widening as you feel yourself blushing again. 

Shit. SHIT!

“Oh, I….um—”

“I was telling him about the car you hid behind,” Ron supplied mercifully, and you feel relief so instantly that you have to brace a hand against the side of the building in order to catch yourself.

“Oh, yes! That exciting part of my day.”

Chuck looks at you strangely for a moment, bringing a hand to your forehead and holding it there.

You roll your eyes and push his hand away, smacking at it again when he tries to repeat the action. “Charles—”

“Grant, Tab!” 

The three of you turn towards the direction of Malarkey’s voice, the man jerking his thumb back to one of the trucks.

“Got some stuff for you that just got here…”

Giving you one last look, he points his finger in your face like he’s scolding a child.

“This interrogation isn’t over, young lady—”

“Don’t you mean conversation?” Ron asks, smoke from his cigarette floating around his face like fog over a lake.

You nod your head in Ron’s direction in a sign of agreement, and Chuck moves his arm so he’s now pointing at Ron.

“Y/n and I are far past social pleasantries, and I would never insult her by lying...”

You roll your eyes and gesture in the direction Grant had been called from.

“Don’t keep Mother waiting, you know how she gets.”

You watch Grant jog over and away from sight. Ron’s fingers deftly pull your braid out from beneath your collar and smooths it down, following the length of your spine in such a way that no one else would’ve been able to see should they look over suspiciously.

“If you didn’t look like you’d just committed a crime,” he says matter-of-factly. “He probably would’ve just given you a pat on the back and moved on.”

You turn and look at him over your shoulder, the closeness of his face reminding you of how he’d held you when you thought you were dying all those months ago.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly, suddenly feeling very shy around him.

He hums, lips quirking up in a quick smile. “Well, my ‘suicidal death wish’ didn’t pan out as well as I’d hoped, so I’ll live—”

Something in your face made him stop, and with gentle hands he takes your shoulders and turns you to face him completely. You let him walk the two of you back behind the building a bit before stepping in to you again.

Like he had before, in the farmhouse after he kissed me….

You flush at the memory, and you may as well have said what was on your mind because he whispers your name in the way he does when he knows you’re overthinking things(or at least starting to).

Meeting his softened gaze, bite the inside of your cheek before speaking.

“I’m mad at you.” you say, hating the lack of conviction in your voice.

He nods, expression one of consideration as his hands come up to hold your face.

“I know.”

“Because what you did was really stupid—”

“I know—”

“And then you pull a move like that, hey” you cut yourself off when he smirks again, a chuckle in his throat when you glare at him. “Don’t you dare look so damn proud of yourself, I’m yelling at you—”

“Which move would you be referring to?” he goads, and you frown in order to hide the grin that threatens to break across your face. You shake your head in disbelief, leaning back against the side of the building.

“Oh my God.” you scoff out. “Are you teasing me right now? Ronald Speirs, you’re unbelievable”

He smiles down at you, and you let yourself smile back at him and nervously bring one of your hands up to cover his as it slides down to cup the side of your neck. 

Your smile slips as your eyes unintentionally flicker down to his lips again, remembering how they felt against your own.

Shooting a quick look to either side, you slowly raise onto your toes and give him a quick, shy peck. You can feel him grin for a split second before he kisses you deeply and far more thoroughly than you’ve ever been kissed before.

You sigh into the kiss, eyes drifting closed as you wrap your arms around his torso and fist the material of his jacket in your hands.

When you break for air you rest your cheek against his shoulder, hugging him tightly.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” you mumble, and for a moment you think he may not have caught what you said.

“If you think I’m going to let something as stupid as a bullet or a mortar stop me from coming back to you,” His lips are at your temple, and when you pull back to look at him follows you and gives you another smug grin. “you’ve got another thing coming.”

As you open your mouth to reply, the both of you hear Nixon calling your name, loudly asking people if they’ve seen you and which way you’d gone.

You both sigh, and smile at each other at the unintentional synchronization of the action.

“I think your boyfriend is looking for you.” He pulls playfully on your braid when you roll your eyes at him and gently push him away.

“I think I liked you better when you were just quiet and broody and handsome—”

Ron smiles wickedly at that, and you groan when you realized what you’d just said.

“Don’t let it get to your head-”

“Too late.” 

Ducking another quick kiss to your lips, he steps back just in time as Nixon rounds the corner, his words forgone in favor of eyeing the two of you suspiciously.

“What were you—”

“What’s up Lew?” you interrupt, trying your best to not look...what had Ron compared it to? 

Looking like you’d committed a crime….

Giving Ron a scrutinizing once over, Nix looked back to you and raised a brow.

“Dick’s wondering if you can show him how to switch one of the Kraut scopes to a rifle…”

“Sure!” you said, far too brightly. You had a feeling if you looked back at Ron he’d be smirking in unabashed amusement at your awkwardness. “Lead the way…”

With a frown and a suspicious hmph, Nix turned and began to walk in the direction from which he’d come.

You follow dutifully, giving Ron a quick smile over your shoulder as you hurried to catch up with Lewis.

Ron looked beyond pleased with himself, shooting you a quick wink before bringing another cigarette to his lips and lighting it.

“Care to explain that?” Nix asks under his breath once you catch up to him, taking your arm in his like the two of you were at some cotillion.

You smirk to yourself, rolling your lips together to hide the action.

“Nothing to explain, Nixy. Everything’s perfect….”

And for the first time in your life, you truly meant it.

OOF HERE WE ARE AGAIN! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR READING THE RAMBLINGS I THROW IN YOUR DIRECTION AND SORRY IF IT SUCKS

TAGLIST: @itswormtrain, @mrseasycompany​, @softspeirs​

[superfanficnatural]

Maybe the apocalypse isn’t so bad after all

Pairing: Negan x Male!Reader

Summary: Negan finds you having some fun with some walkers, resulting in some unrequited attraction to intertwine the both of you. Deciding to go back to the sanctuary with him, the both of you couldn’t hold yourselves back any longer.

A/N: This is my first Negan fic so I really hope that you guys like it! I tried to make Negans personality as accurate as possible so there is a TON of f-bombs in here haha, also I know the summary sucks but I couldn’t think of anything to write xD, enjoy!

A/N 2: Spoilers for TWD seasons 6 and further but if you are reading a Negan fic then it’s not a spoiler lol.

Warnings: Heavy Cursing, Smut, NSFW 18+, Oral Receiving (Male), Dirty Talk, Anal Sex, Bondage (Rope and Blindfold), Daddy Kink, Slight Fingering, some others.

Word Count: 3.5K

Italics are thoughts

Gif isn’t mine

Negan’s POV

“God DAMN it’s been SO long since I’ve been able to let out some steam.” 

“Who the hell was that?” asked one of the four soldiers behind me.

We backed up and hid behind a wall, I peeked my head over to see some random fucking guy walking up to the gas station next to us. I counted a dozen walkers, he can’t be serious, I thought to myself. He took off the backpack he was wearing and to my surprise, he didn’t grab the pistol by his hip, instead reaching behind him to grab a machete that was hooked onto his back. 

“Now, who’s first.” the guy said, walking up to the walkers. 

Two of them walked up to him side by side and he swung his machete, beheading two of the fuckers at once, damn he’s good.

“Oh come on, you guys can do better.” he teased, inching closer to another three.

They were decently spaced out, walking in a single file line, cars on their sides making their path narrow. He shoved his machete into the first one's stomach, pushing him back until his machete hit all three. The walker at the front tried to grab him, flinging its arms out at his face. I was about to go help the poor son of a bitch until I saw him cut both of it’s arms off in seconds, swinging his machete once again, this time connecting with its head. Whoever this guy is, he’s fucking good. I was considering taking him in, seeing if he could help the sanctuary. 

“Damn, sucks for you.” he said sarcastically, coaxing a small chuckle to leave my lips, now this is the kind of person I want around me.

He shoved his machete through the second one's skull, piercing it and getting the third one as well. Seven left.

One was trapped in a car, another trapped underneath one, the other five in a group a few feet in front of him. 

“Come on you fuckers, come to daddy.” he joked. He’s a badass AND funny? Well fuck me.

He dropped his machete and I was about to yell out and call him a dumbass until he reached behind him, grabbing two medium sized knives strapped to the back of his belt. He approached the group, throwing one knife, he connected it with one of the fuckers heads, running up and tackling the second, his other knife going into it’s eye socket. He ripped out the knife and walked up to the other walker on the ground, taking the knife out, he ran up to the last three, simultaneously killing two of them. Turning to the third, he motioned him to come closer with his pointer finger. The walker was at biting distance and that’s when he shoved both of his knives into the sides of his head. He turned around and that’s when I saw the smirk on his face, blood covering it and his clothes, my pants tightened and my breathing got heavier, wait what the fuck? I’m not into- forget it.

He easily finished off the two remaining walkers and grabbed his machete off of the floor, walking over to his backpack and picking it up, I was tempted to walk out, try and get him to come back to camp with me. 

“You gonna come out or...?” he said, glancing over in our direction with a grin, we all instantly jumped behind the wall. After a few moments I decided to walk out, taking my chances.

Your POV

You knew there was a group of guys behind that wall this whole time, how else would you have survived this long without picking up a few skills?

“I’m not going to wait forever ya know?” you finished, growing tired of them hiding. You were about to make your way over to them until a man walked out, fuck. You hadn’t seen any attractive men since this entire fucking apocalypse and there he was, salt and pepper beard, slick black hair, a black jacket and baseball bat wrapped with wire, a complete fucking dilf. Attractive AND dangerous? Fuck me. 

“Don’t mean you any harm, was just walking through here until I saw you fuck UP those sons of bitches.” a foul mouth too? Damn, I guess some good things do come out of the apocalypse. 

“Right... anything else you need?”

“People, honestly, you got a camp or something?” he asked, testing you.

“No, I don’t have a camp, I also know there are four other guys behind that wall so you have a camp.” he was about to open his mouth to speak but you cut him off, “Don’t worry, I couldn’t care less if you have a camp or not, I’ll just be going on my merry way.” 

“Wait!” he urged, turning you back around.

“You need something, daddy?” you joked, not realizing the power behind your word until after you said it, a slight blush threatening to flash across your face. 

He smirked and his eyes grew darker, “Actually, I do. I want you to come back to my camp, I need tough sons of bitches like you,” he admitted.

Wait, he smirked?? He doesn’t look gay to me at all, I mean he looks like he can probably fuck whoever he want’s but he definitely does not swing that way, he was probably just laughing at my joke, yeah, that.

“I’ve always been solo, what makes you think I want to join up with you guys?” you asked, already considering it just because of this perfect vessel in front of you. 

“Can’t be solo forever, eventually you’re going to need some help. Plus, we got food, running water and electricity, clothes, anything you could ask for.”

“Electricity? As in I can shave my pubes after however many fucking years? Along with this ridiculously unfashioned beard?” you asked, perking up.

He chuckled, “Would I ever fucking lie to you?”

You chuckled to that in return, damn a sense of humor too? Who the hell is this guy?

“I’m Y/N, you?”

“Negan, and this here is my baby, Lucille,” he said, swinging the bat around.

“Oh god, you were definitely one of those guys who named his car some kind of name before all of this weren’t you?” you asked with a jokingly disgusted face.

He full body laughed at that, resulting in you letting out a small chuckle as well, “Something like that, so, you wanna join up with me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Fuck it, why not,” you responded with a smile, him giving you one in return.

You both made your way over to the other men, introducing yourself and them doing the same, you already forgot their names except for the one who looked important, Simon. They had a truck a few hundred feet down the road, “What were you guys doing out here anyways?” you asked.

“We came to this gas station looking for some gas, but from what it looks like, there’s nothing left.” Simon replied.

You nodded in acknowledgement, hopping on the back of the truck while the rest got in, Negan in the driver's seat with Simon next to him, you had a feeling he was his right hand man. 

After about an hour on the road, you reached a huge factory, fences with walkers hung up on them, smart, keeps the rest away. After a whistle from Negan, the gates were opened by two men, driving past them you saw they were fully armed, damn, this place is fortified. 

Parking in front of what seemed like the front entrance, you all got out and Negan motioned for you to come over to him. Walking into the building, you noticed a bunch of stalls and what seemed like people selling stuff, “On the first level, we have the point system, they sell what they have for other people in need and get points to buy stuff for themselves.”

“Seems a bit flawed but it’s better than nothing I guess.” you shrugged.

Walking past the hundreds of people, you noticed they all basically got on their knees as he walked past them, “What are you? God?” you joked.

He smirked, “To these people? Fuck yeah I am.”

Chuckling, you made your way up to the second floor with him, noticing long hallways with multiple doors.

“Up here the point system doesn’t exist, it’s where all the soldiers sleep, eat, and probably fuck, no points necessary.”

“Damn, sign me the fuck up.”

“Why else do you think you’re here smartass?” he nudged your shoulder.

“Fuck off, where are we going?” you asked, nudging him back.

“To your room, so you can settle in and cut those pubes that you were talking about.” 

You laughed, continuing on with him. He stopped at the end of the hallway and opened a door, a huge room that looked nice as fuck came into view, “There’s no way this is mine.” you said in disbelief.

“This one is mine, but yours is similar, come here.” he said, walking over to another door a bit further down the hall. He opened the door and you saw a room that was barely decorated, all of the essentials in place.

“Damn, last time I had a place this nice was in my dreams a few months ago.”

He chuckled and walked you over to the bathroom, you noticed a shower with a razor on the counter, along with some shampoo and body wash.

“I would normally tell you to not take too long with the hot water, I have a feeling you’re gonna go and stay as long as you fucking want anyway, so go ahead and take your shower and shave, I’ll be waiting in the main room.” he said, walking out and closing the door behind him. Wasn’t he the leader of this place? Does he really have the time to wait on me?

You stripped down, turning on the shower and getting in. Holy shit the water felt amazing, you didn’t even wash yourself for a few minutes, simply enjoying the amazingly warm water before eventually washing yourself thoroughly. Getting out of the shower you felt refreshed, the best feeling you have had in the past six, seven years? 

Grabbing the razor from the countertop along with the shaving cream, you shaved off all of your pubes, already feeling so much better. You didn’t want to get rid of your beard, it actually suited you very well, it just needed a trim and size-up. Grabbing the electronic clipper, you trimmed your beard about an inch, it not being too long anyways, and lined up your cheeks, cutting the area around your ear as well. Learning how to cut hair from your friend before all of this started, it helped out a lot. Trimming your hair down as well and shortening the sides, you looked like a new man. Probably ten times more attractive as well, your face finally shining.

Wrapping the towel around your waist since there weren’t any clothes inside the bathroom, you walked out and were met with Negan laying on the bed, Lucille perched up against the wall.

Negan’s POV

Why the hell did I get hard earlier? And why the fuck can’t I stop looking at him? So many questions were going through my head as I was laying on the bed waiting for Y/N. He was taking a while but I know shaving is a pain in the ass. I heard the bathroom door open and I was met with Y/N in nothing but a towel. Fucking shit he is sexy as hell. I could finally see his face clearly, beard and hair trimmed down, was he a fucking model before all this shit? His body was covered in a few scars, only serving to make him look more intimidating and sexy, his figure still lean, six pack abs, toned arms, legs I wanted to kiss and bite. I’ve never even considered fucking a dude, why the hell am I now? I was brought out of my head by Y/N clearing his throat, a smirk on his beautiful lips, “Got any clothes I can fit into?”

Your POV

You walked out and saw that Negan was checking you out, you fought your hardest to suppress your blush and instead put on a confident smirk, “Got any clothes I can fit into?” you asked, bringing him out of whatever he was thinking of. Without saying a word, he got up and stood in front of you, eyes darkened with lust, breathing heavy.

“Unfortunately we don’t, so you are going to have to fucking wait till we find some.” he slowly gravelled. Reaching out, he tugged at your towel, no fucking way this is happening.

“Negan, what-”

“Shhhhh, just let me see.” he cut you off with a whisper. Pulling your towel apart, it fell into the small space in between you two. You were already hard, the simple close proximity of him arousing you. He glanced down and you heard a low moan from his chest. He pushed you against the wall and buried his face in your throat.

“Why the fuck are you so goddamn hot, I never thought I would like another guy but the only thing I can think of around you is how fucking good your tight little ass will feel around my cock while I bend you over and fuck you.” he growled, nipping on the skin of your neck.

You felt your knees grow weak, mind going hazy from his dirty talk. He backed up and took off his jacket, his shirt following. There were multiple tattoos covering his skin, hair on his chest and stomach, if the world ending brought me to this moment, I wouldn’t change a thing. Before he could take off his belt, you grabbed his hand and stopped him, sucking on his neck and leaving a few hickeys, you removed his belt and pushed his pants down, leaving the underwear you got on your knees. Licking and sucking his cock through the thin fabric, his hand grabbing your hair, “Fuck that feels good.” he moaned.

You smiled and removed his underwear, his thick cock bouncing out, you licked your lips in anticipation, you knew he was going to burn just the right way. You teased him a bit longer, licking the tip and tasting his precum, fuck he tastes good. He pulled on your hair and you looked up at him, “Stop fucking teasing me and suck my goddamn cock.” he commanded. You smirked and took him into your throat, inching your way down until he bottomed out, another skill you kept, your cock sucking skills. You started bobbing your head up and down, licking the underside of his cock as you were going, feeling the vein throb. His grip on your hair got tighter and he started moaning, it was the sexiest thing you had ever heard. You wanted to taste him, pulling off, “Cum in my mouth daddy, let me taste you.” you huskily whispered, using the nickname from before. His eyes darkened even further if that was possible and you knew the name turned him on. Resuming your task, you started going faster, twisting your head as you sunk down on him, hollowing your cheeks. He started pumping his hips into your mouth, keeping his hold on your hair tight so you wouldn’t be able to escape. Pumping his hips a few more times, “Fuck I’m gonna cum down your throat, fuck yeah, you want my cum don’t you, my dirty little boy.” You hummed around him, the vibration triggering his release. 

“Oh fuck yeah!” Feeling his cum coat your tongue, you eagerly swallowed it all down, his taste arousing you further, making precum leak from your tip. 

He let out a huge sigh and took a moment to compose himself before grabbing you by the arms and tossing you on the bed. He reached into a cabinet next to the bed, pulling out a blindfold and some rope, “So, every room just has sex toys in them?” you jokingly asked. He chuckled darkly before responding, “Something like that.”

He climbed on the bed next to you, roughly grabbing your arms and tying them together, bringing them up to the bed frame. Putting the blindfold on you, he slowly backed up. You had never done this before and saying you were nervous was an understatement. You couldn’t see anything and barely heard any movement, you almost thought he just left you there until you felt his lips on your inner thigh, “Shit.” you hissed, the feeling intensified since you didn’t know it was coming. You felt him smirk against your thigh, his lips inching closer and closer to your throbbing cock, “You were made to suck cock, good little cock slut aren’t you? Well daddy is gonna be nice enough and return the favor.” 

You felt his breath ghost against your cock, feeling his hand wrap around it and slowly start to stroke it, the simple movement threatening to make you bust, the tension already too high. You felt his lips wrap around the head and you let out an appreciative sigh, his warm mouth enveloping you. He bobbed his head up and down and you wished you could see him, just imagining him sucking you off made you squirm in place. He brushed his finger against your rim and you let out an involuntary moan, him ceasing his actions for a second, then returning to it with his finger rubbing and tapping your hole. 

You started tensing up, “Fuck Negan, I’m gonna cum.” you moaned. 

He instantly pulled away, “What the fu- Keep going!” you whined.

He chuckled, “You’re only cumming when daddy says you can.”

He lifted your legs up and balanced them on his shoulders, you could hear him spit down on his cock to lube it up, feeling the tip press against your rim. You could already feel how thick he was, moaning in anticipation. 

He slowly started to push in, stretching your walls to their breaking point, “Oh fuck!” you shouted. You could feel the vibrations of his chuckle against you, your arms slightly hurting from the amount of force you were struggling against the rope with. Inching in, he finally bottomed out and you let out a loud moan, feeling completely and utterly full. 

“Today is your lucky fucking day, daddy is gonna fill you up with two loads, and you’re going to take this one deep inside of you.” he grounded out, voice low and husky.

He pulled out almost all the way until nothing but the tip was left then rammed his cock inside of you, “Oh fuck, Negan!”

He started relentlessly pounding into you, leaving no room for you to even breathe. The breath being forced out of you with each thrust, you could hear the bed creaking with the force behind each one, the sounds of his cock entering and exiting your hole filling the room. 

“Damn your ass is fucking perfect, warm and tight, perfect for my cock to fill and stuff with cum.” he growled, reaching down and nibbling on your ear. He was hitting your prostate with what seemed like pinpoint accuracy, each thrust bringing you closer to your release. His hips started stuttering and you could tell he was close. Wanting to return the dirty talk, “Fuck daddy, your cock feels so good inside of me, filling me up to the brim, cum inside me, breed me and make me yours.” you moaned in his ear, clenching the muscles in your ass to make it tighter. 

He let out a guttural moan and slammed into you, the force behind it greater than before, sending you into your orgasm, shooting all over your chest. He pumped his hips a few more times and released, grunting your name into your ear. You could feel him shoot string after string of cum into you. Pulling out, there was a trail of cum following his cock, your ass completely filled. He licked a stripe up your chest, collecting all of the cum there and taking off your blindfold, he claimed your lips and shared your cum. You moaned, intertwining your tongues together and sharing the taste. 

“Fuck you even taste perfect, how the fuck did I not find you before?” he asked rhetorically. 

He unwrapped the rope from your hands and reached for the towel on the floor, cleaning up the cum dripping from your hole and both of your cocks, plopping down on the bed next to you. Both of you let out huge sighs, more than satiated with what just happened. You turned towards him to notice a soft look on his face, damn, this man is incredible, you thought, gazing at his handsome face. 

He was wearing a huge smile, “What?” you asked with your own smile.

“Nothing, was just thinking that maybe the apocalypse isn’t so bad after all.”

Tag List: @negan-the-cat​ @negans-network​ @negandarylsatisfaction​ @magssteenkamp​

[notmydayjob]

Requited

This is my manifesto of my love for criminal minds and the lovely Dr. Spencer Reid. Also I know some of the ages are a little fucked up but just suspend your disbelief for a second.

Summary: You grew up with Spencer but after meeting again years later due to one of Spencer’s cases you find yourselves rekindling an old friendship and maybe a little more.

Warnings: all the angst you’d expect from a CM episode, and sassy sexy Dr. Reid being adorable.

It’s been five, no- six years since you’ve seen him. You tried not to keep track but that was easier said than done. He was your best friend in Elementary and Highschool but as you both grew up you grew apart as well.

 You and Spencer were the most unlikely of friends as kids, the same age but nearly three grades apart. That of course was Spencer’s fault. You met in the third grade after your family moved to Nevada and Spencer was the only kid who was also sitting alone. After a while, you made more friends but none of them were as interesting as Spencer. He could read so fast and he knew so many things and sometimes you could even get him to recite books from beginning to end for you. He asked you things that you’d never really thought about like why the sky is blue or why the grass is green and when you said you didn’t know he’d explain it to you with big confusing words until you’d make him simplify it for you. You weren’t dumb but you weren’t Spencer, and part of you always knew he wouldn’t stick around. When you went to the fourth grade he went to fifth, spent two months there, and then went to sixth. You thought that would be the last time you saw him.

On your first day of Freshman year, you headed to the cafeteria with your friends and when you sat down and looked up you saw a kid your age, with long hair that curled at the ends, and big glasses, and was rapidly flipping through the pages of a book. One of your friends made a snarky comment and the other laughed but you stood up and quickly walked other to the boy, you honestly didn’t know why. Maybe it was because you hadn’t seen him since third grade or maybe it was because he had gotten so handsome in your time apart. 

“Spencer?” You said to the boy which made him shoot his head up in confusion. You waited for a second to see if he’d recognize you but after a moment of silence, you continued. “It’s (Y/n), we knew each other in elementary school.”

“Oh, yeah I remember. I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you.” He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose and smiled up at you. Spencer didn’t really smile that much, not at people at least, but he always smiled at you. You sat down next to him, eager to get caught up. 

“I figured you’d be finished with college by now,” You joked which caused him to chuckle softly.

“Next year, I’m a senior now.” He recognized the apprehension in his voice. Even when you were little Spencer got teased a lot for being ahead you couldn’t even imagine what it was like now.                                         

“Are you even human?” You giggled. “What are you even reading that you haven’t read before?”

And so your friendship picked up again, exactly where it left off. Now instead of why the sky was blue, it was theoretical mathematics and physics.

The two of you spent the whole year together, you’d go to the library and he’d finish three books in the time you could finish chapter one, and still, if you were lucky you could get him to read to you. You were there when he got his acceptance letter from Caltech, he was so nervous when opening the email but he’d never admit it. Once you forced him to open the letter and you began to read it but by that time he had already finished it. 

“I got in.” He said almost too calmly. 

“What?” You gasped. He spun around in his swivel chair and looked up at you with a smile. 

“I got in!” He shot up and wrapped his arms around you. You were taken slightly aback at the physical contact. Spencer was a slight germaphobe but you still found opportunities to invade his personal space...respectfully.

And then again he left. The good news was Caltech was only a few hours away, you still saw each other on weekends, sometimes you’d come to visit his dorm and sometimes he’d come back home and visit you. You were also there when he had his mom hospitalized, you both knew it was the best thing to do but it was still hard for him to do. That was the first time you ever saw him cry, not when his dad left although you were sure that he did just never around you. Now Spencer cried, he tried to hide it from you but he couldn’t, you would wrap your arms around his waist and let him lean down to cry onto your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” He’d say to you after he had calmed himself.

“Why?” You asked as you ran your fingers through his long hair. 

“I never want you to see me weak.” He’d always say.

“You’re the strongest person I know.” 

As your senior year came to an end this time it was time for you to make the decision, stay, or go. Ultimately you stayed, applied to somewhere local, you didn’t want to admit that it was because Spence was close or because the town reminded you of him but you couldn’t deny it played a role. You hated Las Vegas, it was full of gamblers, pimps, and prostitutes and the heat was terrible. Sometimes Reid would take you to the Strip and you’d watch the people come and go, maybe that’s when he decided he wanted to be a profiler, you could sit there for hours and listen to him get all into people's business. Those were the memories you stayed for. 

Your third year was when Spencer left for Virginia, two Ph.D. 's in Math and Engineering, working on a third in Sociology and he chose to go to the FBI Academy. You were so proud of him but your heart broke to watch him get on that plane. You both cried when you said goodbye at the airport.

“I’ll call you every day.” He said, and for a while, he did but after that first night when you stayed up past midnight waiting for him to call but he never did. That was when you realized it would never be the same. You spoke to him every day, every week, every month, once a year, but now six years since he left and you haven’t even spoken to him in five. Until today.

“What the hell is happening?” You asked your boss as you saw a group of men and women going through the files in your office. 

“The Feds,” He nodded at the group on the other side of the windows. “They wanted information on a kid you used to work with...David...Dave… the last name started with an O I think.”

“Davies Ortega?” You knew exactly who he meant.

“Yeah, yes! They want everything you have on him, they have a warrant but you weren’t here-”

“Yeah well, I am now.” You sighed as you pushed through your colleagues who were watching with confusion.

“If you wanted to see my files you could have asked nicely.” You said as you came through the door. 

“Dr. L/n, I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner with the FBI, were you Davies Ortega’s psychiatrist?” A tall man with dark hair turned to you.

“Yes sir, I was.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “You have a warrant?” A dark-haired woman handed you the paper.

“You got something to hide?” A fit man with dark skin questioned.

“The Ortega’s are a rich white-collar family and the father is the DA, I’m protecting my practice.” You quipped back. “Your warrant says you have the right to the Ortega files and the files you’re going through aren’t those so if you’d please stop invading my client’s privacy I’ll show you what you’re looking for.” Each of them dropped the files they were holding.

“Thank you,” You said and then made your way to your desk, opening the locked cabinet beneath it and pulling out several thick files.

“That much?” The dark-haired woman said. You chuckled softly and then pulled out yet another stack of files.

“That much.” You corrected. 

“Ma’am we’re going to have to go through all of this and ask you a series of questions, I think it would be best if we did this at the police station… for privacy.” Agent Hotchner motioned to the crowd around your office. 

“I think that’d be best.” You agreed.

The ride to the police station was horribly quiet and incredibly awkward. Luckily though it was very short. You walked through the front doors following Hotchner, you caught a glimpse of Davis’s photo pinned to a board next to the photos of several women dead. You couldn’t make out too much because someone called out your name from behind you, not Dr. L/n but Y/n. You quickly turned to see a tall thin, brown-haired man with his hands awkwardly in his pockets, Spencer.

“Oh my god,” You smiled as you rushed towards him, standing up on your toes, practically jumping and wrapping your arms around him. He wrapped his arms around your waist in return and tucked his face into the crook of your neck.

“The two of you know each other.” An unfamiliar voice said from your left side. You and Spencer jumped apart like two teenagers caught together behind a closed door. 

“Uh, yeah,” Spencer spoke up. “We grew up together. We were uh… close.” 

“Close, huh?” The blonde-haired woman smirked.

“What are you doing here?” Spencer turned his attention back to you.

“Davies Ortega,” You said simply to gauge his reaction. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, that’s not good.

“You’re his doctor?”

“I was,” You nodded.

“Dr. L/n, we shouldn’t do this here, follow me.” You grinned at Spencer before following Hotchner to a small room with a table and mirror, you were sure it was a window from the other side. You were left alone to fiddle with your thumbs and try to work out what was happening. After about 15 minutes the door opened...and Reid came in.

“I’m surprised you’re allowed to talk to me.” You grinned, that probably didn’t look good because of the circumstances but you couldn’t help it.

“I spent the last ten minutes convincing them that you would tell any of us what we need, but you’d be more comfortable with me, wanna prove me right?” He cocked his head at you.

“Anything for my genius.” Although it had been five years it felt just like you’d been teenagers walking on the strip just yesterday. “You think Davies killed those girls, he’s your unsub.” Spence talked about this stuff all the time even when he was in college, you knew how this worked. 

“Yeah,” Spencer spoke softly and nodded. “That doesn’t surprise you?” 

“No,” You said hesitantly. “I know this is being recorded, will the parents see?” 

“No,” Spencer said, slightly confused. “Are you afraid of them?”

“I’m not afraid.” You said quickly and defensively and he raised his eyebrows at you. “ I told them that Davies needed to be institutionalized and they nearly got me fired. Rich people can do whatever they want no matter if their child is a total sexual sadist.” 

“Sexual sadist?” He repeated. “Do you really think he is or are you exaggerating?” 

“Oh come on Spence, you don’t need to do that.” You sighed. “I know he’s messed up, you know he’s messed up it doesn’t matter who says it doesn’t change that.” He chuckled slightly, he should have known he couldn’t pull anything without you knowing.

“Why did Davies come to see you?” Reid continued.

“He was adopted when he was six, removed from his birth mother’s custody for neglect. The Ortega’s adopted him not long after, he went from having nothing to anything he wanted, he began to act out and they couldn’t handle that. He killed the family cat too.” You explained. “Even they knew that was a warning sign.”

“Why’d he stop coming?”

“I suggested hospitalization, they didn’t like that so they found a new psychiatrist. No matter where they took him it was the same though. Eventually, they got him institutionalized just last year he turned eighteen and there was nothing they could do. With this kid, it was never a matter of if… it was when.”

“Alright, thank you, we’re gonna need to keep the files for now but you can go soon.” He sighed and stood up to leave.

“Wait, Spencer.” You stopped him. He turned to look at you and it nearly took the breath out of your lungs but you still continued. “You’re about to go to his house right?” He nodded.

“He used to write stories, they’re in my files, he wrote about killing but they all ended the same way. He said before they could take him he would kill as many officers he could before and then himself.”

Reid nodded slowly, understanding that was your way of telling him to be careful. You followed Reid out of the room and he told you to wait with the blonde-haired woman who would clear you to leave.

“My name’s J.J.” She offered you her hand. This wasn’t the introduction of an FBI agent but instead the introduction of a friend of a friend. “Wanna help me go through these files?”

You sat down with J.J. and helped her go through the files, every once and a while she’d ask you about Spencer.

“So were you ever...with… Spencer?” She asked with a hint of suggestion.

“No,” You chuckled. “I had a crush on him when we were teenagers but that was all.”

“Did he feel the same way?” She pushed a little further.

“Spencer is about as transparent as glass, I never got the feeling he did.” You tried to leave as much emotion out of your voice as possible. 

“If I’ve learned anything from working with Spencer it’s that he can lie if he has to.” She chuckled.

Not long after you saw Spencer, Hotchner, the agents whose names you learned were David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, and Derek Morgan. They were all rushing out, wearing blue FBI vests, and fully armed. Spencer walked over to you.

“Hotch and the Sheriff said you can go, what are the two of you up to?” He said as he looked at the messy table of papers.

“I’m just helping J.J. with the files.” 

“Well, we uh- gotta go.” He held out his last word, you knew he was just as worried he wouldn’t see you again as you were. “When we’re done… I’ll call you. I swear.” You just nodded and wrapped your arms around his waist before once again watching him leave.

“Doctor,” Hotchner called you. “You’re free to go,”

“Yes, sir I know…” You said apprehensively.

“But?” 

“I think I’d like to stay until you get back,” Maybe you wanted to know what would happen to Davies, maybe you wanted to make sure Reid was okay, either way, he didn’t ask, he just nodded and left.

You sat there with J.J. for an hour as the team checked out the house and confirmed Davies was inside. J.J. got a message on her radio that they were going in, you both sat quietly at the table holding your breath and waiting for more news. Ten minutes went by before you got the next message. 

Shots fired; Federal Officer down. 

J.J. clasped her hand over her mouth and put her other over yours reassuringly. 

Suspect has been injured and is in the ambulance but should make it. 

A small wave of relief washed over you but the words Officer down were still stuck in your head. After about half an hour people began filing into the station, Hotchner, Prentiss, Rossi, Morgan, and finally Reid.

You and J.J. let out a sigh of relief seeing the whole team alive and well. Reid smiled at you, clearly amused by the worry on your face. 

“You seem stressed.” He grinned.

“Oh shut up.” You smacked his chest before wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in it. “What about the officer?”

“SWAT got hit in the leg, he'll be fine.” 

“I was worried.” You finally admitted before pulling away. “So, when do you guys go home?” 

“Tomorrow morning, maybe tonight if Hotch is in a hurry.” He shrugged and you felt his demeanor change. “Y/n… I have to finish up here but afterward, would you want to… I don’t know, hang out?” His hands sat uncomfortably in his front pockets and his shoulders tense. 

“Yeah Spence, I’d like that.” You smiled up at him. 

“Cool,” He nodded with a proud and yet relieved smile on his face. “Meet me at The Strip...our spot, at 10 o’clock.”

“Of course Dr. Reid.”

“I’ll see you then Dr. L/n.”

The Strip was huge but you knew exactly where he wanted you to meet him, at the corner of the fountains facing the Ferris Wheel. By the time you got there at ten, you saw him leaning against the railing waiting for you.

“You got off early.” You said to alert him that you were there.

“Yeah,” He seemed relieved that you showed up. You stood next to him and leaned onto the railing as well. “I didn’t know you got your doctorate.” 

“Yeah, I got my masters and started working but did online courses for my doctorate while I was practicing.” Sometimes you got self-conscious talking about education with Spencer and he seemed to notice.

“That’s impressive.” He said genuinely.

“I never would have done it without you.” You shrugged off his compliment.

“Me?” He turned to face you, his attention now peaked.

“Yeah, I mean...yeah, you always used to talk about Dahmer and Gacy and how fucked up their childhoods were. It just wanted to stop it before it happened but clearly… that didn’t work.”

“Hey,” He placed his hand on your shoulder. Spencer shockingly hadn’t changed much in the six years you’d been apart. His hair was longer than it used to be and much messier and curlier, he dressed slightly different as well. As a teenager, Spencer rarely wore clothes that accommodated his tall but thin stature, and he never quite knew how to style his clothes. Now, his clothes fit well, his long sleeves were rolled up to reveal his forearms and he wore a black sweater vest and a dark blue tie. He looked mature and put together but at the same time, still kind of looked like his mom dressed him for the science fair. His socks still didn’t match.

“That’s not your fault Y/n,” He looked you in the eyes making sure you were really hearing him. “Like you said it was just a matter of when. I talk to these kinds of guys every day, they’re irrational.”

“Yeah… I know.” You sighed heavily. A silence hung in the air, neither of you wanting to talk about the events of the day but not knowing how to proceed.

“So you like Psychiatry?” He said with genuine interest.

“Yeah,” You said unconvincingly, causing him to raise his eyebrows like you. “Well, yes and no. My boss is a total pushover and my co-workers are dramatic and invasive. I like what I do but not necessarily where I do it.” 

“So what keeps you here?” He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned all of his weight on his right arm so that he could face you. 

“Honestly,” You sighed and looked around, trying to come up with the best answer. “Nothing.” I guess that was easier than expected. 

“What about your family?” 

“Everyone’s all spread out by now, retired in Florida, the woods in North Dakota, you name it.” 

“You hate it here, why have you stayed so long?” Spencer said, obviously confused now. He knew better than anyone that you should have gotten out of Vegas the second you turned 18. “Why did you even go to college here?” 

“Cause you were close.” You looked down at your hands, suddenly feeling how long it had been since you’d talked to him.

“You stayed because of me?” His voice softened and was nearly inaudible.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” You looked into the fountain, squinting at the lights shining in your eyes. “We have good memories here, I guess that’s why I stay.” 

When you finally looked back up at him he was already staring at you. You were tempted to dart your eyes away but you found it impossible to look away from him. And then faster than anything you’d ever experienced his hand was on the side of your face and lips were on yours. His hand was gentle on the soft skin of your face and it traveled slowly to the back of your neck desperately bringing you closer to him. Your hands rested on his chest, fingers digging into the coarse wool of his sweater in an attempt to keep him there. With one step towards you, he closed the gap between your bodies and pressed you against the railing. You arched your back, pushing your body against him to prevent you from bending back over the railing. Spencer’s other arm wrapped around your waist pulling you impossibly close to him. 

The kiss had started slow and unsure but once you reciprocated it became desperate and hungry for what both of you had been wanting since you were teenagers. Spencer’s tongue grazed against your bottom lip requesting entrance which you gladly gave him. Your tongues danced together, not a fight for dominance but a dance between two equals trying to explore every piece of their partner. Spencer’s teeth softly grazed against your bottom lip pulling it between his before he reluctantly pulled his face away from yours but still kept his body pressed against yours. Both of you stood there not daring to move away from each other as you gasped for breath. 

“I think I’m ready to leave.” You said between breaths. 

“And go where? Virginia?” Spencer was obviously kidding but the way you looked up at him to gauge his reaction showed that you were completely serious. “Oh, Y/n no, you can’t uproot your life for me.”

“Oh come on Spence!” You slipped out from under him getting space to gain some confidence in your argument. “I hate it here, it’s hot, the people are terrible, I’m ready to quit my job after today’s fiasco.” Spencer just shook his head and chuckled, you continued.

“Come on Spence I love the East Coast, the people, the seasons.”

“The seasons? That’s why you want to come?” His smile turned into a proud smirk as he placed his hands on either side of you, pressing you against the railing.

“And good company.” You smiled before pulling him down to meet your lips. 

“I missed you so much.” He said between kisses. You went to say something back but before you could Spencer’s phone went off in his pocket. He dropped his head and let out a loud sigh that made you giggle. 

“Yeah, Hotch.” He said formally but rolled his eyes and grinned at you. There were a few seconds of silence but you could hear a deep muffled voice through that phone. “Actually, I was planning on staying for a while, I’ll catch my own flight back.” The two men exchanged a few more formalities before Spencer casually put his phone back in his pocket.

“You’re staying?” You looked up at him with a timid smile before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and leaned his body against yours.

“Well, I gotta help you pack.”

[obxfics]

Choose Your Own Adventure: Pogue Style

summary: you and your brothers are tasked with looking after your baby cousin when things quickly go south. where will you choose to look for your cousin, and who will you run into?

pairing: reader x ?

word count: 1,089

beta’d by: @thatjohnd​ and @shawnssongs​ (thank you both so much!!) they’re both absolutely wonderful people and you should check our their writing!

The Dock The Kitchen

a/n: so this is something new i’m trying out. my indecisiveness couldn’t decide who to pair reader with so i just decided i would write four different versions and turn this into a sort of choose your own adventure fic. basically, at the end (once i’ve written the different versions and linked them) you pick a location which will link to a different pogue’s fic. i’ll link the fics up here but also at the end. i am so excited for this, and i hope y’all are too!

Being the youngest of three children, you didn’t really have any experience when it came to like... looking after kids. It wasn’t like there was any occasion for there to even be kids for you to look after. That is, until your dad’s younger brother got married and had kids of his own. And then suddenly you were like an older sibling. You were always looking after your younger cousins when they came to visit or when you went down to Florida to spend a couple weeks with your dad’s family. Out of all of your little cousins though, you had an especially soft spot for Jaime, the baby. Everyone doted on him, but he was like your baby so you would keep a close eye on him whenever he was around.

This year, his parents were celebrating a milestone anniversary, and therefore needed someone to look after the kids while they went on some cruise or something. Most of them would be at various summer camps anyway, so when they called up your parents, they assured you all that you would only be looking after Jaime. And to you and your brothers’ credit, all three of you took looking after Jaime very seriously. Most of the time, when your parents were working in the restaurant, y’all would have to take care of him. Feed him, change him, bathe him, entertain him. And you were happy to do it.

So when your parents told you, right as you and your brothers were heading out to surf, that they needed you to look after your cousin, the plans for the day were changed with only slight disappointment.

“I’m telling you right now you’re a hazard to children everywhere,” Christian snapped at Diego in the passenger seat.

“Wh-- kids fuckin’ love me.”

You rolled your eyes at him as you covered your cousin’s little ears. At six years old, he delighted in repeating everything you and your brothers said, and if you were being honest, the three of you rarely had any filters.

“There is no way in hell that your idea of letting Jaime sit on your surfboard would end up in anything but catastrophe!”

“I mean, it worked in Lilo and Stitch,” you said.

“See? y/n is on my side,” Diego smirked.

“They’re pointing out an example from an animated movie, dumbass. Bringing him to the country club to make fun of all the white golfers is much more child friendly,” Christian told him.

“Are we teaching him to be a bully though?” you asked.

“No, because golfers deserve to be bullied, just facts.”

“...That checks out.”

Jaime laughed when you made a face at him and wrinkled his nose as he attempted to touch it with his tongue. You ruffled his hair and grinned. Cute kids were your biggest weakness, not that you would let anyone know that. You and your brothers tended to keep to yourselves, which was only getting harder now that both of them were in college. You found yourself in a tentative friendship with Kiara Carrera, another outside at the “Kook Academy” as you liked to call your school. The two of you only really hung out at school, although you would occasionally text each other or wave when you saw each other around the island. You were pretty sure her friends didn’t like you though. So you tried to stay out of their hair, never pressing Kie to hang out with you when you knew she would rather be with her boys. It could get pretty lonely, especially during the school year when you didn’t have your brothers to keep you company, but you dealt with it. Better than trying to hang out with anyone else who lived in the figure eight, and anyone from the Cut automatically assumed you were like the rest of the Kooks. You couldn’t really blame them.

“Yo, is that Kie’s van?” Diego asked, stirring you from your thoughts.

You looked out the window as Christian parked to see the beat up Volkswagen Kie and her group drove around in. You smiled at the ‘eat the rich’ sticker on the back. While you hadn’t seen her in over a week, she’d texted you last night to tell you about something stupid JJ had done at John B’s place and how Pope was this close to actually smoking one of JJ’s joints. As much as you told yourself you were fine being alone, and as much as you knew the Pogues weren’t fond of you, you still couldn’t help but want to be a part of their group. At least just a little bit. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact you had a tiny crush on one of the Pogues. None at all.

“Shit guys, I gotta pee real quick,” you told them as you stopped and put Jaime down. “I’ll only be like a second.”

Your brothers waved you off, and so you ran into the nearest bathroom while they waited with your cousin. You always forgot how fucking nice everything was at the country club, and the bathrooms were no exception. There were little cups for mouthwash, as if that was something absolutely needed, but you had to admit it was kinda tempting. Like, it was provided for you, so why wouldn’t you use it? And now you realized why everyone on the Cut thought Kooks were pretentious, entitled assholes. You kind of were with your fancy bathrooms and mouthwash.

“Hey guys,” you greeted as you left the bathroom. “Sorry I took so long, I got distracted by the mouthwa-- where’s Jaime?”

Christian and Diego looked up from their phones in a panic to see your baby cousin wasn’t with them. Diego even looked at his empty hand as if he couldn’t believe he didn’t notice Jaime’s wasn’t holding it.

“What. The. Fuck. I left you guys for like two minutes max!”

“He’s a small child! They can slip away easily!” Diego argued, his voice cracking in distress. “He couldn’t have gotten far! He’s like three feet tall! His legs can’t cover much ground!”

“Just fucking split up!” Christian snapped.

You immediately bolted, thinking of the different places he could go. There was the dock because he loved boats, or the kitchen because he loved food, or the veranda because he liked looking at the pretty birds, or the computer lounge because he had discovered Club Penguin. Where would he be?

[writingforyourpleasure]

WE'RE NOT BEST FRIENDS.

Relationship : Remington Leith x reader

A/N : Sorry I know, not what you expected. It's be complicated lately and I wanted something shorter then "ON THE ROAD AGAIN" and on someone else. But next will be either a new chapter of OTRA or a short fix either on Gerard Way or Frank iero.

Warnings : None 

You were just in front of your best friend’s door trying to calm your nerves. Before you could even process it the front door opened and a smiling Emerson was facing you warping you quickly in a warm hug. This bastard truly gave the best hugs, maybe it was the reason why you hang out more with him. It was a sunny afternoon and Emerson was dressed very fashionable as always, he always stood out from the other kids even before finding his own style. You entered and soon enough his mother Stephanie was hugging you lovingly. Staphanie and your mom were best friends since college and that how you meet the boys, you were six month older than Emerson, you grew up with him basically. First off when you were four until Sebastian got to middle school you and the boys were having sleepovers at least 3 times per weeks and were inseparable, then when Sebastian did go to middle school he started to pass more time by himself and his new friends since he thought playing with you three was not of his age anymore. But you, Emerson and Remington didn’t mind all that much since you still got each other to play with, some things were more difficult though, since you were now a trio there was some kind of imbalance inside your group and disputes tend to happen more than before but nothing alarming since it was always for stupids reasons and when Remington got through adolescence the arguments got bigger and next thing you knew it was just you and Emerson. But everyone was still close to each other It’s just that you had now a certain routine with Emerson and got comfortable in it. You also didn’t want to bother the guys by asking if they wanted to join. Also Emerson seemed happy to have you for himself and have a little time with someone else then his brothers, sort of. Emerson had friends beside you of course but you didn’t talk much to those, they were nice but you weren’t one to party, you considerably preferred to stay at home watching a movie, TV show or play video games or some else worthless.

« Well A/N, the boys must say their hello wait I’m gonna call them downstairs. » Said Emerson’s mom, it was something she always said and did when you were there.

« Really there’s no need. I’m sure they’re occupied and busy, you know. I don’t wish to disturb anyone Stephanie as sweet as it is. »

« You’re way to polite hon’, don’t worry I think they can move their legs once in a while. BOYS COME SAY HELLO A/N’S HERE ! »

Emerson was puffing behind his mom’s back, you on the other side just stood there awkwardly. While you heard stumping upstairs, you took in the delicate features of Emerson.

He had a dark navy blue beret which was quite rare and a white shirt open widely on the collarbone and to his chest it was a lightly transparent, he wore around his neck maybe dozens of necklaces which you bought him for the most part and a simple black skinny Jean. You often wished you had the same wardrobe than him.

The stumping was now very loud and close which meant the guys were in the staircase so you turned your head around just in time to see Seb coming to you and putting your head in his arm and ruffling your hair to annoy you. Well for sur now you’ll be walking around for all evening with wild hair but hey what’s new ?

« Let the poor girl be would you, Sebastian ? »

« Well she’s used to being annoyed since she comes here to see Em, anyway. » Said Seb with a dickhead grin splattered on his face.

« Well fuck you, I happen to be very interesting mind you ! »

Em wasn’t one for a reading. You sighed rolling your eyes to the sky, done with thoses two, while their mom was repremending them, mostly Em since he swore.

« If she ever gets bored it’ll be by you two arguing dummies. » Said Remington arriving at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes then falled on you and a huge smile stretched itself on his lips, soon enough he had you in his arms.

« God Y/N what have you done of my boys ? »

Rem was still hugging you, yeah he tend to do that quite a lot and you never got used to it since it was a little bit awkward with everyone around you. The first hundreds of times Seb always teased him, while Remington was complaining. But you guessed that it had became like a ritual now.

« Well I wouldn’t pride myself in this since I honestly don’t think they need me around to act like that. » You joked once Remington decided to let go.

« Guess will never know since they won’t without you in our house for less than one week. » Laughed Stefanie.

« More like , Emerson, won’t let her be for less week. » Said Remington. Making his mother smile and Sebastian laugh.

« Whatever, c’mon Y/N. »Emerson took you by the end to go upstairs to his room.

You popped down on his bed looking at the fluorescent pink stickers up his ceiling. While he unplugged his Drum speaker.

« How was rehearsal ?

« It was okay we didn’t do much to be honest. »

« But didn’t you told me that you’d finished the album already ? »

« Well we just need one more song and then it’ll be finished. »

« Well don’t worry about it I’m sure it’ll be a great one. » You said cuddling him from behind making him fall into the bed with you.

« Putting pressure on me much ? »

The two of you laughed at that still cuddling on the bed.

« But I’ve got to say I’m not hyped not to hang out with you guys once you’ll go on tour. » You’re best friend held you more strongly than before at your words. Silence filled the room.

« Maybe you could come and visit us ? » Asked Emerson in a small voice.

« Could I ?! » You said looking up at your friend.

« I mean I don’t see why not ? »

You got off the bed starting to dance excitedly and fist bumping happily into the air while Emerson was laughing from the bed.

« But…. Wait a minute ? Isn’t it girlfriends that are allowed to visit you ? » You asked stopping right away fearing it wasn’t gonna happen.

« Well usually, yes it is, but I think I can play it off. Plus if you do think about it we already are an actual old married couple. » You all laughed your ass off at this knowing very well how you to were looking while argumenting.

Not long after that Emerson had to go to the toilets and you took advantage of it to go ask Stefanie if she needed help with dinner. Emerson find It’s way into the kitchen not long after that.

That how you found yourselves peeling potatoes while joking around.

Hearing you laughing Remington join you guys down hoping up the counter, not helping whatsoever.

« You guys are so loud I can’t even hear myself think anymore. »He said with a devilish grin.

« Silly you of course you can’t Rem ! You never thought about something with that beautiful brains of yours, since you don’t have one ! » He glanced at me with a deathly look while Emerson was coughing his laugh away.

« But you’re saying nonetheless that I’m beautiful right ? » Emerson rolled his eyes while Remington winked at you.

« Well looks gotta make up for that stupidity of yours I guess. «

« But you admit that I’m beautiful ? »

« God Remington I never knew you’d suffered from so much lack of love during you’re childhood hon. »You said looking at your potato with a wide grin, with Emerson discretely laughing in front of you still peeling off the skin of his potato.

« But that does make me Belle and you the beast. So I win. »

« Well if you want to lie to yourself love go on, I won’t stop you, but remember that I ‘ll be Beast who’s got a big brain. »

Emerson made a face of disgust at the nickname. You got up and went near the counter, on which was seated Remington, to wash your peeled potatoes.

« Yeah But I’ll be Belle who’s got a big - »

« REMINGTON !!! »Yelled Stephanie making Emerson explode in laughter and pride was taking over your features.

« Since you seem to be quite a talker today go peel the rest of the potatoes of your brother, while you Emerson’ll put on the table in the dinning room please. »

« What does this have to do with peeling potatoes anyway ? » Whined Remington still going over his brother ‘s place getting to work.

« Young man don’t dig yourself deeper, I’m warning you. Now less talking and more peeling. »

You hide your laughing while you returned to the table where was Remington to cut the vegetables.

He glance you a glance that you supposed was meant to be scary but didn’t work out.

« I’m hate to say but Belle wouldn’t be the scariest psychopath for an horror franchise. »

« Wish I could dig YOU deeper. » He muttered between his theets.

« And I wish I could dig you. » you Whispered to yourself, blushing instantly realizing what you said and looking over to meet a blushing Remington.

Safe to say you cutted the rest of your vegetables are in silence as Remington did the same with the peeling.

Soon enough you all were dinning around the table that put on Emerson. You were sitting by Emerson side on his right, while Remington was in front of you and on his right was Seb asking if he could go to a party tonight at his mother who was seated in the end of the table. He excitedly thanked his mom when she agreed.

« By the way could Y/N come visit us on tour ? » Interrupted Em looking at his two older brothers.

A silence took place during several seconds as both of Seb and Rem eyebrows shoot to the roof looking really surprised, you didn’t really understood why before Seb started talking with a huge smile.

« FINALLY ! You guys I was starting to think it’ll never happen you know ? »

What ?

You were really confused right now, was he still talking about you visiting ?

If it was the case why did Remington seemed so hurt ? And even if he was talking about something else why would Rem be hurt anyway ?

« Huh well It’s only if you guys wants me to be there of course ? » Even to yourself you sounded pretty unsure.

« When did that happened anyway ? » Asked Remington pretty coldly.

« What ? » You ask really confused now.

« When what happened ? » asked Emerson apparently as confused as you were.

« Ho c’mon you guys ! Don’t be shy ! I always knew it’ll happen it really was about time. »

What. The. Hell

« Huh well Emerson asked me when we were up in his room a few hours earlier ? » You responded truly still very unsure about this, but figuring they were asking about when did Em bringed up the idea ?

« Ho so It’s really recent still ? » Said Seb.

« Huh well that’s why were asking if it’ll be cool with you two ? » Answered Em fidgeting at the end of his shirt.

« Unless you’re not comfortable with it Rem ? » Everyone’s eyes landed on him waiting for his answer.

« Why would you hit on me if you’re with my little brother exactly ? »

A huge silence landed across the table and your eyes almost blew out of your skull.

« What ? »You asked in a small voice a little embarrassed of him telling everyone what happened earlier.

« If he trust you enough to be his girlfriend don’t try to hit on his fucking brother just a few hours after it ! » He said getting up in one second before just hurriedly walking up the stairs at a fast pace. While you just stood there your mouth hanging.

What did just happened and… wait were they thinking you and Emerson were a couple ? HO they were, well shit.

« Huh… just to put it out there me and y/N are Friends, nothing more. »Said Emerson looking at his mom and older brother.

But He did not looked at you.

« Ho well… shit. Sorry about that Y/N It’s me who directly started to think you two were together, I mean I though so because the people that usually visit us are our girlfriends or boyfriends. I see that I was wrong now, I’m really sorry. »

« It’s okay Seb we don’t mind. » You said sadly and deeply humiliated, you were guilt tripping for something you didn’t do. How sick was that ?

You exited the table without a word to go upstairs, walking til you were facing Rem’s door. You were hesitant, you needed to tell him but maybe It’s more up to Emerson after all ? And why would he listens to you of all people you must be the one he wished could go away probably now.

You took a deep breath before knocking on the wood with precaution.

«What ? » Said a weak voice on the other end of the door. Ho no was he crying ? What the fuck did you put yourself into ?

« Can I come in ? »

« Go away. Maybe you still got your chance with Sebastian ? »

Ouch.

« Mister Remington you may not slut shaming me. » You responded trying to be funny but as the silence took place between you you figured it wasn’t.

« Look, Rem, I think it is all just a misunderstanding, please let me in so we can talk ? »

You waited two long minutes fixing the wood of his door before this one moved to revel a red eyes looking Rem, the sight really guilt tripping you.

« How could you do that ? To your childhood best friend ? »

All of it was giving you an headache.

« Are we still talking about Em ? Or is it about you ? » You asked raising an eyebrow.

« forget about it. » He said moving to re-entering the room and closing the door, but you stopped him taking his left arm in your hand.

« Wait. I really do think It’s just a big misunderstanding, I am NOT em’s girlfriend. » You said the fastest you could.

The big frown on Remington’s face was wash over by a surprised look.

« But you guys said- »,

« we didn’t say anything because you didn’t even let us say more than 1 word. Sebastian assumed and I guess you then assumed that we were. But you’re both wrong. »

Remington’s brain seemed to be runned a mile per minute.

« But Emerson was talking about you visiting on tour.... »

« Yeah as friends dumbass, I ‘m not obligated to fuck someone on it to be on it am I ? »

Your arms crossed on your chest you waited in front of the tall man.

« I-I-I am so very sor-rr-ry…. I… I mean if you want to scream at me you’ve got every right to do so… » he said with a sorrowful expression.

« Don’t worry if I’ll ever feel like screaming at you, I won’t bother asking your permission love. In all seriousness now, maybe just go apologize to Emerson later okay ? »

« Ho fuck ! Everyone heard me right ? Ho what have I done It’s embarrassing as fuck. »

« Yeah from the looks on their faces I’m pretty convinced that they all heard you pretty well. »

«…. That means that I’ve just told everyone that you hit on me when you actually did it as a joke and for no reasons… » Blood was leaving his face at a fast spead and he was becoming more livid by the second.

«Yeah you did. But if that can make you feel better I didn’t do it as a joke. But please next time wait til we do take it to your room to tell everyone. Never guessed you as a kiss and tell but meh we learn something new every day ! »

« You didn’t… ? »

« No I wouldn’t hit on Rem big brother as a joke that’d be a lack of humor to do something so awkward. If I ever wanted to hit on one of you as a joke I’ll choose Em I’ve much more material on him anyway. »

« I….But last year at Seb’s birthday party when I finally muster up the courage to ask if I could kiss you, you said no… ? » Both of you were now a little closer to each other at the point where your chests were almost touching.

« Yeah well pardon me to have refused to kiss you when you were completely drunk AND in front of your two brothers looking at us. Poor souls They’ll still be on medication now if it happened. »

« But then why would you it on me now -»

« Can I kiss you ? » You asked to the tall bleached hair guy. He was blushing so much you were scared that the poor fool was about to explode.

« Why-hy no-ow ? » He asked lowering his voice looking at you expectingly.

« Because I feel like fucking my brother’s best friend. No more seriously I just… ‘I’ m not really talented for all of this but I really like you and I do have a crush on you since several months. Like each time you hug me It’s like I become numb and every problems since to find a solution to itself. »

Remington wrapped his hands, sweetly, around your neck, looking at you with tenderness.

Both of you closed the distance between your lips, it wasn’t sweet or hungry but just a little spark fading as soon as his tongue and lips left yours.

« Y/N… I-I have a crush on you since years but you never noticed me, Emerson always fought to be alone with you and to be the one closest to you. I… never told him because I really thinked you’ll never see me like you do with him. »

« You’ll never take the place of Em. He’s my best friend. But you can take the vacant place of boyfriend. But if you’re jealous of Emerson It’s not gonna do it for me babe. »

« What no ! I’m not…. I… ‘I swear just I wanted to let you know that I was struggling to find a way to get your attention. »

« You don’t need to, coz’ you already have it, you were just to blind to see. »

« ….Y/N.. I love you…. »

« I’m pretty sure that I ‘ll be able to say so in just a few weeks. » You kissed him one last time before going to Emerson’s room and getting in bed with your friend even if you wished to cuddle someone else tonight you didn’t want to seem impolite to your friend.

Emerson vaguely waked up from his sleep to whisper to you once you made yourself comfy between his arms.

« Did you tell him ? Did you guys made up ? »

« yes we did don’t you worry Em. » you said with a happy smile on your face, of course he didn’t meant it like you did but this discussion is left for tomorrow this time.

[onthepageoftears]

Follow My Lead Pt. 2 (Jaskier x Reader) || Witcher

A/N: Heyo! Here is part two to Follow My Lead! As I mentioned in my update post, I won’t be posting the Jaskier x Assassin!Reader series this week, but I hope to post it soon! Anyway, let me know what you think of this, and if you want to be tagged in my other writing send me a message or visit the link in my description!

I also just wanted to say I appreciate you all and hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! ❤️💛💚💙💜

Bingo Square Filled: On the Run 

@thewitcherbingo​

Summary: Sneaking past the guards was the easy part...

Warnings: language, references to sex, fluffff, mention of death/dead bodies

Word Count: 1,735

Support me?

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

Pt. 1

“So…this is it?”

Jaskier’s tone made you roll your eyes. “Don’t sound so disappointed.” Though, it was hard not to.

When Geralt told you he needed help, you and Jaskier were excited despite your slight annoyance. Being the key to a meet up with bandits that had captured an esteemed blacksmith? Your expectations of adventure could only be met, if not exceeded. 

You had been sneaking around all day and night, trying to find and collect enough coin to free the blacksmith. You snuck past guard after guard (having to go to certain extreme measures with the last one — your cheeks were still slightly red at the thought of it), and now, you made it to your destination. But standing in front of the place Geralt told you to bring the coin to…it was like finding out you slept through Yule celebrations — but worse.

“What a load of rubbish.” Jaskier gestured to the building before you. It was pretty much broken down, with fly-collecting trash just outside the doors. Even though this was a bandit hideout, you thought they might have a little decency to clean up.

You rubbed your face with your hands. “Let’s just get this over with.”

As you walked up to the door, something inside you shifted. Intuition, some might say. You shrugged it off, then swung open the door. You supposed it might have been smarter to knock first, but upon opening the door you realized you didn’t need to.

“What the fuck?”

Jaskier peeked over your shoulder. “Oh. Oh lord.”

There were bodies. Lots of bodies. Maybe six or seven, all flopped over different parts of the floor, some overlapping others. The more you looked at them, the more you realized they were bandits, and that they were recently killed.

“I’m gonna puke.” You ignored Jaskier as you stepped further into the room, doing your best to not step on the lifeless forms below you. You somehow peeled your eyes away from the bodies and looked around the main room.

“Geralt isn’t here.”

“No, I don’t believe he is.” You were surprised Jaskier followed you in — he was nearly on top of you as you both tried to stand in the one clear area of the floor. You looked at each other, then at the bodies around you.

“You think he did this?” You looked back to Jaskier, but before he could answer, something grabbed your leg.

You screamed. Loud.

Jaskier grabbed your waist as you nearly toppled over. You stared with wide eyes at the hand on your ankle, a hand from a bandit you were sure was dead. He looked back at you with almost lifeless eyes and a gaping mouth, until Jaskier pulled you out of his reach and sent a kick to his arm, just in case.

“Shit.” You tried to catch your breath, playing a hand to your heaving chest. You turned to thank Jaskier, but he was looking at something behind you.

“You there!” Your body swiveled at the sound of a new voice — bandits, only not dead. They came from the staircase, probably at the sound of your scream. There were only four of them, but they had very, very sharp swords.

“Perhaps now is a good time to go.” Jaskier pulled your arm with a strong grip and forced you to follow him out the door, still managing to dodge fallen limbs at the same time.

Once you made it outside, you were greeted with yet another group of bandits.

“I think you owe us some money.” One of them said, walking towards you with a large club. You swiveled your head to the left, trying to find an escape. Luckily, there was a very narrow alleyway just out of the way of the bandits. You grabbed Jaskier this time, dragging him with you to the passage.

You tried not to look back to see if the bandits were following. You kept hold of Jaskier’s arm to make sure he didn’t get left behind without you knowing. The two of you ran through the alleyway and onto the next street, took a sharp left, and practically threw yourselves behind a merchant’s empty stand.

You shoved Jaskier’s body down next to yours, making sure to keep your heads down behind the crates. The two of you stared at each other with wide eyes as you heard the sound of clambering feet. It was silent for a second, and you were sure your heartbeat would blow your cover. Then, one of them whistled and ran in the opposite direction.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, placing a hand to your palpitating heart.

“Well what the hell are we going to do now?” Jaskier’s voice was surprisingly quiet, despite his typical inability to do so. “I don’t think a passionate, fiery kiss will get us out of this one.”

The heat rose to your face quicker than your heart was currently beating.

“I don’t know Jaskier. Do you have any ideas?” He stayed silent. You licked your lips and took a deep breath. Neither of you would get out of this if you were at each other’s throats. “We need to find Geralt.”

“How do we do that?”

You let out a sigh. “I…don't know.”

Jaskier placed a hand on your shoulder, sensing the fear from your shaky voice. “We’ll find him.” It was reassuring, for a second. But then the sound of shouts made you both widen your eyes in fear.

“Run,” You whispered.

“Already ahead of you.”

The two of you jumped from your spot and ran down the street as fast as you could. You once again grabbed Jaskier and the two of you ran through the many twists and turns of Novigrad, doing your best to steer clear of the group of bandits looking for you. There was barely enough time to breathe, much less think about where Geralt could be. You two were turning yet another sharp corner when you bumped into something — or, someone.

You let out a small yelp before realizing who it was. “Geralt! Thank the gods!” You almost hugged the witcher, but held yourself back. “The bandits, they—“

“Were all dead.” Jaskier finished for you. “Well, not all, but a good amount. Was that you, by chance?”

Geralt merely blinked. “Yes. They lied about the blacksmith. It was a fake kidnapping — he was safe in his home.”

You shook your head, still trying to catch your breath. “But the bandits—“

“Were going to go kill him anyway. After they got the coin.”

“And now?”

“I have to make sure the Bandits don’t hurt him. Or you two, for that matter.” He looked between the two of you with a frown. “You’ve been running.”

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “That obvious?”

“Go back to the inn. You’ll be safe there for now.”

You nodded your head and took Jaskier’s hand in your own. The inn was close by, so you knew you wouldn’t need Geralt to escort you there. Besides, he had the important task of getting rid of the rest of the bandits — making him walk you and Jaskier back to the inn made no sense. You had managed to flee the bandits thus far, so you knew you would be fine.

“Good luck Geralt,” You muttered as you and Jaskier left the witcher to his work, still walking swiftly in the moonlit streets.

—

Though the inn was close by, you two were being extra careful to not run into any more bandits. You were afraid you might turn a corner and bump into a bandit — unlike with Geralt, that wouldn’t be such a pleasant surprise.

“So,” Jaskier said as you both peered over the corner of a building. Once the coast was clear, he began speaking again. “I guess we have the coin all to ourselves.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Of course that’s what your mind is busy with.”

“And why wouldn’t it be? We were the ones to find all the coin anyway. It’s only right we keep it.” He was silent for a second. “What do you suppose we use it for?”

You reached into your pocket and pulled out the pouch. It was quite heavy — heavier than any amount of coin you had at once.

You held the pouch out for Jaskier to take. “Most of it is yours. You decide.”

Jaskier raised his eyebrows, but didn’t argue. He took the pouch and passed it between his two hands like it was merely a child’s play ball.

“Who knew bandits were this smart.” You shrugged when Jaskier looked at you curiously. “They staged the kidnapping knowing someone would try to find the blacksmith, put out a reward, and almost got away with it.”

Jaskier nodded with a shrug. “Not all idiots are dumb.”

“Funny coming from you.” He turned to you with a wide-open mouth. All you could do was smiled sweetly in return.

The two of you spent the rest of the walk in content silence. Well, silence was a strong word — Jaskier couldn’t keep quiet if his lute’s life depended on it. He hummed quietly the rest of the way, and at this point, you would have joined him. The closer you got to the inn, the more the fear shed off your backs. Safety was only a couple more feet away, and the feeling of anxiety was practically all gone as you two were walking up the stairs of the inn.

Jaskier leaned against the wall as you looked for your room key. “How about we use this coin to treat ourselves, hm?” Jaskier shook the pouch in front of your face with a smirk. “Get ourselves a nice dinner, some fancy wine….”

Your mouth fell slightly open, an amused smile falling upon your lips. “Are you asking me on a date, Jaskier?”

Jaskier tilted his head. “Maybe. Unless you prefer we use it to get a shared room at this inn—“ His sentence was short-lived as you smacked him on the back of the head. As your blush grew redder and redder, all he could do was laugh.

You smiled slightly at the bard you had grown to enjoy the company of. Despite his nearly unending chatter and very often crude humor…he was quite the catch.

Your eyes twinkled as you grabbed the pouch from his hands. “Let’s start with dinner.”

———————————————————————————————————

Tags: @alienemilyyyy​ @jediviolet​ @roaringliona18​ @saint-hardy​ @milkierei​ @treehousemagicblog​ @scream-kiwi79​

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[jeonqukie]

SOMEBODY ELSE / 02.

SYNOPSIS / After years of working up the courage to confess his feelings for you, Min Yoongi decides to give up and move on from the unrequited position he has put himself in. However, when you discover his veiled attraction towards you, you dwell on what could have been. You find yourself ready to reciprocate the same sentiment for him, only you’re too late when he reveals he has already found someone else. Consequently, you’re lured into a series of meaningless and warped encounters from the one person you swore to avoid.

FEATURING / Primarily featuring Min Yoongi and Kim Taehyung.

GENRES / Angst, romance, mature, some fluff, unrequited love, & friends to lovers (?).

WARNINGS / This chapter contains alcohol consumption, graphic language, mentions of sexual activity, and other mature themes.

WORD COUNT / 15k words.

TABLE OF CONTENTS / To be redirected and get the latest on the story, click on the table of contents.

NOTES / After god knows how long, it’s finally here. I want to apologize now for how delayed this chapter was. For context, this was supposed to be completed by December 2019 but due to some poor organization and scheduling on my part, I’m so sorry that this is like, 2-3 months delayed. This will be a very short series (either 4-5 parts only), so I will be sure to start outlining part 3 as soon as possible. Again, this series was inspired by the famous sitcom, Friends with a lot less comedy and a little bit more angst. Feedback is very much appreciated as always. Thank you to those who have showed their love for part 1; I really appreciate it. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

© All rights reserved to jeonqukie. All or portions of my work may not be reproduced, distributed, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

“Yoongi better not put the blame on me for being late. I will cut someone who brings up the fact that I’m always late.” Cluttered in the back seat of the Uber driver’s car, you pulled out a crisp five dollar bill out of your purse and offered it to the patient man who sat at the driver’s seat. Notoriously known for his antiques of being fashionably late, Jimin first hops out of the back seat of the car and offers his hand to ease your exit out of the vehicle.

“I got ready an hour and a half earlier than usual and I was done just in time.” He offers his arm for you to cling onto and you savor the warmth of his clothed body. He wore a crispy white button shirt with the top buttons undone to expose the expensive jewelry that adorned his neck. The sleeves rolled up to his elbows to expose his milky skin. Skin tight leather pants practically pasted on his long legs and you could already feel the stares of the long line outside of the club at the posse’s arrival. 

“It’s fine. Yoongi isn’t one to throw a fit over something like this.” You scoff clinging so closely to his warmth. In contrast to Jimin’s neutral colored attire, you opted to wear a two-pieced ensemble. The crop top ending at the middle of your torso and your skin tight pencil skirt ending right at the middle of your thigh. The sparkling material still shimmering in the moonlight. 

Just in case the weather wasn’t in your favor, you clutched on a large leather jacket on your arm along with a plain black clutch that contained your phone and a few paper bills necessary for any emergencies throughout the night.

“It’s literally been six months since those two let us know that they’ve been secretly seeing each other. I still don’t understand how you never realized Hobi has been fucking with Michelle for a year.” With a simple shake of your head, at the corner of your eye, you see Seokjin awaiting with his hands tucked inside the depths of his pockets.

“Where the fuck have you two been?” He seethed taking long strides towards where you stood waiting for the arrival of another vehicle.

“Since they’re renovating Michelle’s bathroom, they have deprived me of my own bathroom.” You grimaced at the thought of the couple taking their time in the shower, refusing to hop inside the same shower that the couple resided in for a decent hour. “I had to drive over to Jimin’s place to actually get ready. It turns out traffic is a bitch and - well, here we are.”

“You may have to sanitize your bathroom tomorrow or something.” Jimin murmurs underneath his breath.

Seokjin shivered at your story and he grimaced at the thought of his two closest friends fucking in the shower for nearly an hour. “Fuck, alright, it was good enough for me. Let’s see if it’s good enough for Yoongi.” He scrolls through his contacts, only to tap on Yoongi’s name placing the mobile device on his ear. “Yeah, we’re here - Hoseok and Michelle are running a little la - oh, okay, see you.” Tapping on the red button on his screen, Seokjin motions his head over to the very beginning of the line were two bouncers held clip boards with a large list of names attached.

“Yoongi should be at the front to confirm with the bouncers.” Seokjin muttered while he paved the way towards the very first person in line. You hear a series of curses coming from club-goers while they accuse the three of you for cutting in front of the line. However, at the right time, the large doors reveal the man of the hour himself.

You weren’t aware of how tightly you clutched onto Jimin’s arm as Yoongi reveals himself to the crowd.

It’s been nearly two weeks since you had last seen him. He had been promoting alongside a bunch of the artists he has worked with the entire month and, just recently, he had bleached his hear a nearly platinum blonde.

It was a new look on him - definitely something new.

The bright blonde hair stuck out like a sore thumb to you… in a good way. You didn’t expect to like it.

His mane had been slightly ruffled to one side. He probably did it himself knowing just how lazy he had been when it came to making himself look presentable. The outfit, though, was a stark contrast from what you had imagined. He wore a black turtle neck tucked underneath a pair of skinny black jeans with a leather belt that you had gifted him for Christmas. He complemented the rest of the outfit with a leather jacket and, suddenly, you’re hyper aware of the fact that Jimin is shaking you as gently as possible.

All eyes are on you as you remain glued to the concrete floor.

“Are you just going to stand there and gawk at me or are you going to give me a hug?” Yoongi playfully scoffs at you, but you feel your weak arms let loose of the grip it had on Jimin’s arms and he encourages you to walk ahead of you.

As you both entered the nightclub, you are greeted by a conglomerate of people already raiding the dance floor and the bar that had resided adjacent to it. But your entire world stops spinning when you his arms - so foreign - wrap themselves around your frame before you respond back to his actions by slithering your arms around his neck.

“I missed you.” You admitted out loud to yourself and he chuckled into your hair before he pulls you away.

“I was only gone for a month. I told you that you could’ve came with Tiffany to visit.” The name still made your throat swell up and you chewed on the inside of your cheek, shaking your head.

“I figured I’d be third wheeling since I was the only one willing to come and see you.” Rolling your eyes at his statement, Yoongi’s eyes begins searching for something across the second level of the night club.

“Tiffany should be with my co-produer right now. I don’t know if you remember him - Namjoon?” You nod at once when you see Namjoon trying to have a private conversation with Tiffany as he leans in to talk into her ear. “She’s definitely milking this night more than I am.” You are reminded once again that this was Yoongi’s night. Just recently, three of the songs he had produced had been nominated for a multiple music awards and this was a celebratory night for the record label. On top of that, it was the company’s New Year’s Eve party and Yoongi was given the opportunity to invite as many people as he can.

“I’m proud of you.” You practically yell into his ear as he guides you over to the bar where Seokjin is already talking up the bartender and Jimin is ordering the necessary drinks for the newcomers. “I know I’ve said it a lot through text messages, but I just wanted to… say it out loud this time. I really am proud of you, Yoongi. You’re living the dream you always wanted.”

There was a small glint of melancholy in his eye, but you don’t quite catch it when you turn your attention to the drink that Jimin passes over to you. You decide to offer the drink over to Yoongi and bring it up in the air. “Congratulations, Yoongi. What a way to end the year, huh?” You laugh when you take small sips of the drink before passing the other drink over to him.

“Thank you. I wouldn’t have done it without you.” His sentence is left hanging in the air. It’s ambiguity very clear to the both of you and the tension in the atmosphere is so dense that you are left trying to breathe so deeply. “I - I wouldn’t have done it without any of you.” He refers to Seokjin and Jimin as well before they pass him over a bottle of beer. 

Your relationship with Yoongi got more and more complicated from the very first encounter you both had six months ago. Just a mere six months had passed by before your relationship with him was put at a fine line.

It took a decent month for things to cool down. You both buried yourselves in work, both made the excuses of passing up on any group hang outs and - for some odd reason - you both synchronized in not seeing each other. Until the cycle broke during Tiffany’s birthday where she personally wanted everyone at the group to be there. One month of not seeing his face or hearing his voice, you thought you could survive with the mere thought that he existed in the same universe as you did. But that wasn’t enough. You were slow to warm up to the idea of even making things right between the both of you.

You weren’t so sure when things started feeling somewhat the same again.

But it was when the news dropped that Hoseok and Michelle got together. Hoseok, being Yoongi’s roommate, and Michelle, being your roommate, had been sneaking our behind your backs late at night participating in unspeakable encounters. You remembered it so vividly like it was yesterday. Hoseok mentioned that he had to go out of town for a business meeting and you planned on visiting your mom’s for the weekend. However, your own mother ended up cancelling after she had an emergency at work only for you to come back to see Yoongi waiting at your front door dumbfounded.

He had caught them red handed when Tiffany requested that he would drop off a pair of shoes she had borrowed from Michelle earlier that month.

It was a big mistake to return the shoes that evening.

But it was almost a blessing in disguise for everybody.

The cat was out of the bag; Hoseok and Michelle had been seeing each other and you and Yoongi were left to piece the puzzles together only to end the evening in a total state of chaos and reprieve.

From then on, things were slightly coming undone. The tension between the two of you had lifted in the air and you were back to unconsciously suppressing your feelings for him and, suddenly, the pain you experienced seeing him with Tiffany had been numbed out. Though you weren’t necessarily happy to see him with her, you were more than grateful that you weren’t really suffering at this point forward.

It wasn’t until they decided to move in with each other where the familiarity of torment rose from the depths of your stomach. You remembered them announcing it at a movie night Michelle had organized and, immediately, everyone’s curious eyes had alternated from yours and Yoongi’s. 

You avoided his stare for the longest time, not wanting to risk the chance of physically vomiting.

But you thanked Michelle for helping you push through that evening.

“If it makes you feel any better, it didn’t look like he was too happy moving in with her.” The words echoed in your head repeatedly, but you remembered just how much of a good person Yoongi is. He didn’t gloat on purpose on your face. Tiffany made the announcement to share such good news to entire posse.

It was something to be proud of for Yoongi; he was moving forward from a healthy relationship… and that’s all you could really ask for.

The party came to full swing at the arrival of Hoseok and Michelle. They were quick to greet and apologize for their late arrival to Yoongi, but he refused to listen to their excuse. More so, he was just happy that they were able to attend. At this point, you can feel the heels you wore starting to be more of a nuisance than a fashion statement from all of Jimin’s dancing. But the drunken demeanor kept you distracted from the pain at the soles of your foot.

Not even one drink into the night, Michelle demanded that you save her a dance for the both of you but Jimin had been too busy twirling you around in the middle of the dance floor resulting in you seeing stars as you guffawed into his chest.

At the corner of your eye, you can see that Jimin’s dance skills had earned him a decent size of admirers - nothing special about that but you knew that once he found that one girl he was willing to hook up with, you were going to be left all alone with no one to kiss that evening.

For the most part, you were more than okay with not sharing the tradition with anybody. Normally, a simple peck on the mouth from Michelle was enough for you to participate in the tradition, but she had Hoseok now. It was a ludicrous idea to even feel remotely excluded from a silly tradition as a new year’s kiss, but Seokjin already had his eye on the bartender. Inevitably, you knew Yoongi would have Tiffany to share the kiss with. You’ve grown so used to the idea of Yoongi and Tiffany being so intimate with each other, but the pain had been so numbed down that you were just accustomed to the feeling.

The only two people left to find people to kiss had been you and Jimin and he made a deal that he would be your friendly date for the evening, even going so far to offer a smooch at the strike of midnight.

So when you saw the one girl he had his eyes on, you furrowed your brows at him, chewing on your cheek. ��You’re my date, Jiminie.” You slurred and he rolls his eyes.

“Oh, c’mon, YN. She’s really cute. I’ll give you a midnight kiss, but I just want to get her number, please?” He coaxes as he guides you through the dance floor and you turn your head to the girl who had been eyeing him the entire time.

“She is cute.” You sighed, slowly releasing from his hold. Suddenly, he spun you into someone else, crashing into their chest as you grunted at Jimin’s abrupt motion. “You better be back in 10 minutes! I’m going to be real upset if you don’t kiss me at the countdown!”

Clutching onto the arms of a stranger, you slowly pull away from their hold only to realize that this was no stranger.

It had been Yoongi who was caught off guard as he held you in his arms. The song blasted so loud in your ears; the song that he had produced and your cheeks flamed a scarlet tint at the proximity of your bodies.

“Jimin’s kissing you at midnight?” You scoff at his playful sneer and you chew on the inside of your cheek, rolling your eyes at his chuckle. “Oh, c’mon, YN. You seriously want to be one of the simpletons who participate in a new year’s kiss?” Yoongi’s choice of words ensues you to erupt in a series of laughter and you unconsciously feel your body gravitate closer and closer to his as the amplitude of the music increases in your ears.

The night club had been too loud that you had to lean into his ear to respond back to him. “Well, you must be one since you’ll have Tiffany to kiss tonight.” You retort back to him before pulling away. His hands had been placed gently onto the small of your waist. It wasn’t low, but respectfully high so it didn’t seem so awkward having to sway to the rhythm of the song he had produced. “Where is she, anyway? She’s supposed to be the one dancing with you right now!”

“Bathroom.” He simply answers into your ear as your bodies bump into each other in the middle of the dance floor. “She’ll be back soon.”

The friction of your bodies against each other made your throat hot and your cheeks hotter than ever. You nodded once simply before realizing just how long you had been this close with each other. It’s been months since he held you like this in his arms. Instinctively, you feel your arms slithering themselves around his neck, still able to dance nonchalantly.

“Tiffany won’t be upset that I’m dancing with you?” You practically yell into his ear before he shakes his head, just as intoxicated as you were. The heavy scent of beer clinging so closely to his skin and mouth and you swallowed hard when your eyes shoot towards his pillowy petals.

“She’s not the jealous type.” He simply replies and you catch his eyes lower onto your glossed lips. Tilting your head to get a good read of his visage, the DJ hired for the event began screaming to the crowd that there was merely 5 minutes left before the clock strikes midnight.

“I would have pinned her to be the jealous type.”

“You are though.” He counters and you are left to knit your brows together, denying his statement before he rolls his eyes as he unconsciously closes the space between the both of you.

“I am not the jealous type.”

“You literal threw a fit when Jimin wanted to dance with that one other girl.” He justified and you rolled your eyes once more, clearly not accepting defeat. Yoongi swallows hard as you habitually pout your bottom lip clearly not enjoying being accused of letting the green-eyed monster take over you.

“He promised he’d kiss me.” You declared, scrunching your nose in the process.

Losing all sense of logic, Yoongi chuckles darkly, digits digging onto your exposed skin at your waist. “You’re such a brat.”

“Oh, now, I’m a brat?” You whine playfully, exasperated of his accusations. This earned a large gummy smile stretching on his mouth and you were hyperaware of how long it had been since it had been since you two bonded like this. It felt so nostalgic to have him this close, have him be this playful with you. Within that moment, it was blissful - forgetting of who was around you, forgetting about the confession made months ago.

“I missed you, YN.” He sighs blissfully, laughing and leaning forward, bumping foreheads with each other.

“I - I missed you, too.” Both of you had the wides smiles on each others faces. Guffawed laughters shared between your dancing bodies and, at that very moment, you were happy. You are taken back to a time where you two can be effortlessly yourselves with each other. You did not have to analyze your actions and words around him; everything was done purely out of pure desire.

You thought your actions would have no repercussions.

You were taken back to a time where you were two best friends, probably unconsciously in love with each other.

But the realization sets in that this was not some fantasy story. The smiles on your visages disappear very slowly at the realization that you can’t go back to where you had been nearly six months ago. Still having your foreheads pressed against each other, noses bumping with eyes fully pinched shut at the feeling of his hot breath fanning your face.

“I - I have to go find Jimin.” You sigh, itching and craving just to feel the slightest touch of his lip on yours. The DJ announces that there is one measly minute left - one measly minute to go looking for the guy you were supposed to kiss, yet you spent what little seconds you had to be with the guy you could not have.

“YN…” He sighs, opening his eyes. You are met his half-lidded eyes yet you read the desire, desperation, and exhaustion in his irises. “You don’t know how bad I want to kiss you.” Your heart stopped beating at that very moment and when the thirty second countdown begun, your sober consciousness had been screaming at you to pull away from his grip. But, deep inside, you felt your heart swell to a tenfold at his confession.

You had to chant to yourself that he was drunk.

You probably didn’t hear him correctly.

But your mind was no longer playing tricks on you when you feel his mouth move ever so closely, just centimeters away from the skin of your lips and he was a million miles away from you when Jimin saves you and Yoongi a million years of regret. Just in time, Tiffany finally squeezes through the crowd, glad to have found her rightful boyfriend at the perfect moment.

“There you are! I swear I was looking everywhere for you!” Eyes wide, Yoongi controls his breathing as he is faced with the girl he is supposed to be spending the evening with. She smiles unknowingly at him and then at Jimin and yourself. The tension was so thick in the air that you do not have the words to countdown.

“Five, four, three, two — Happy New Year!” Jimin’s gentle hands caresses your cheek and you read the sympathy in his eyes when you see Tiffany tip her toes to place feather-like kisses on Yoongi’s — the lips you desperately sought to feel on yours.

With tears in your eyes, you held them there, but Jimin read you very well. His thumb caresses the corners of your mouth, soothing the familiar pain arising in your chest. “Happy New Year, YN.” He sighs before he leans down to place a very delicate, quick kiss onto your mouth. You savored the comfort of your friend and you pull away only to pull him into a well-deserved hug.

“Happy New Year, Jimin.” He doesn’t let you go when he feels your body go limp in his arms.

“You can just drop me off here.” The Uber driver who sat in front of you came to a slow stop at the curb and you searched through your purse to offer the quiet man a ten dollar bill, offering him a kind smile. “Have a happy new year, sir.”

He thanks you for your gratitude before you carefully exit the vehicle. Your barefoot hitting the cold concrete floor as you clutch onto your heels. You closed the door right behind you as you began the long journey from the entrance of your apartment complex parking lot onto the front door of your unit.

You’ve sobered up a bit, still a bit tipsy from the hard liquor, but you were slowly getting there. The vivid memories of the past hour made your heart swell and shatter all at once as the scene replayed in your head. You knew yourself well enough that if you encountered Yoongi one more time that evening, you would not have been able to stay sane.

Your legs took smaller and slower strides towards your unit and when you begin to fish the keys out of the depths of your clutch, you come to an immediate halt as you see a tall, dark figure hovering around your door. You really needed to have a conversation with the homeowner’s association to add brighter lights at night because suddenly your senses had been heightened at the stranger’s presence.

“E - Excuse me, sir, is there somebody you’re looking for?” Your voice so small yet so familiar to the stranger and he spins around, surprised to see such a familiar face look completely different right before your eyes. “T - Taehyung?”

“You nearly scared the living shit out of me sneaking up on me like that.” The timbre of his voice deep and warm and his hushed tones tickled the back of your neck. He looked so different from the last time you saw him.

His dark long locks slightly curled and messy from, what you can only assume, the holiday festivities. He sported a silk button up t-shirt tucked underneath a pair of dark washed skinny jeans. However, he was wise to wear a large coat around his broad shoulders. However, you raise your brows as he nursed a bottle of champagne on his arm and you tilt your head as you studied the change in appearance.

He was still the same yet he looked like a change man.

“Wh - what are you doing here?”

“Right.” He shook his head, whispering to himself as he offers you a soft grin. “I was in town for work. My flight was supposed to be tomorrow afternoon, but they airline company had to cancel due to some scheduling incident.”

You swallowed hard as you awaited for him to continue his story. Meanwhile, he stood right across from you - this time, he studied the way you presented yourself that evening. Your hair is much longer. He compared the length to the last time you had seen each other. Your skin was paler due to the winter season at its peak. There was less sun and he could only assume that you covered yourself from head to toe. You had lost some weight yet you looked relatively healthy. The bags underneath your eyes seem to sunk deeper onto your skin.

Who knew in a matter of six months so much has changed?

“That - that doesn’t explain why you’re in front of my door step.” You retort shyly, encouraging him to explain himself further.

“I don’t leave for New York in two days.” He swallowed before he held the wine bottle in his hand. “I - I figured I would stop by and say hi.”

His appearance wasn’t the only thing that changed.

The way he spoke to you so shyly as if this was your first time meeting each other. He points towards your door with a look of suggestion. “Can I come in? Who knew the west coast would be so fucking cold?” He practically shivers, surprised to see you able to keep yourself warm. Perhaps due to the alcohol still in your body and you decide to make a move on it as you begin to unlock the apartment only to reveal a semi-presentable living room.

“I apologize for the mess. We were all in a rush to go to this New Year’s Eve party, so we didn’t have a chance to clean ourselves up.” Tossing the keys over to the coffee table, you strip yourself off of your leather jacket to hang it at the coat rack. Thankfully, Hoseok and Michelle left the heating on because you were greeted with warmth and the smell of vanilla and marshmallows in the air when you decide to light a candle to create a homier ambience.

“I see you’re one of those types who decide to wait ’til January to take down their Christmas decorations.” He jeers at you and you chuckle at his comment before you point towards the sofa for him to get comfortable in.

“I am not. Michelle and I put so much effort into actually making this place look good, so why waste our efforts when winter season hasn’t ended?” You counter and he decides to slip the coat right off of his torso and you stare at the slight tug of his collar to expose his translucent skin. “Did you want me to get you a glass for your champagne?”

“You should get yourself one as well because we’re drinking this together.” His forwardness still remained the same and you rolled your eyes before you began searching through the cupboard for decent glasses only to find two pairs of coffee mugs that you and Michelle purchased at Target. When you open the drawer to capture the wine bottle opener, you toss it over to Taehyung who began unwrapping the wine to reveal the cork and he attempts to effortlessly remove the cork with ease.

You amble over to where he sat and you offer him your pink mug which he knits his brows in confusion and you shrug at his reaction only to watch him pour a quarter full of the alcohol into Michelle’s blue mug.

“I probably should have said this when I first saw you, but here’s to a happy new year.” He finishes pouring his own serving before he raises the pink mug for you to clink at and you toast right back to him before you take small sips of the cool champagne, savoring the warmth that coats your throat later. “You said you were at a party.”

You nod at his statement only to place the mug on the coffee table, making yourself comfortable with the space in between the both of you.

“I was.”

“And it’s 1:30 in the morning and you’re home so early?”

“Correct.”

“Why?”

“I just wasn’t feeling it.”

He raises his eyebrows when he takes larger sips of his champagne only for him to lean back and look right at you with curious eyes. “This doesn’t have to do anything with Yoongi, by any chance?”

Trying not to offer him any reaction, you sat there with a neutral expression shaking your head. 

“Nope, not at all.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I am not lying.” Your pitches increases and he shakes his head, deciding to drop the subject.

“Okay, clearly, you don’t want to discuss Yoongi.” He starts softly before he takes a scoot closer to where you sat. “How is Michelle? I’m pretty sure she still doesn’t like me, but I think it’s polite to inquire about someone who is near and dear to you.”

You erupt in a fit of laughter only for him to offer you a boxy grin and your palm wraps around the expanse of the mug on your lap. “She’s doing well. It turns out she’s been sleeping with Hoseok — I don’t know if you remember him —“

“The choreographer, right?”

“Yup, that one.” You correct before you took small sips of the champagne into your lips, already feeling the familiar buzz earlier that evening. “They’ve been keeping their relationship a secret ever since the beginning of this — oh, well, last year now and we only found out halfway through the year.” You shrugged at the revelation only for him to nod along.

“What about the other two? The chef and that guy I took headshots of for a casting he was trying to do for that one photoshoot?”

“The chef is Seokjin. But he is now a proud owner of a restaurant. It took a lot of investors and a lot of fucking money from his savings account, but the place is doing really well. Jimin is the guy you took headshots of; he’s not an actual model, just something we thought we’d do for fun, but he’s really just an art curator.” You read Taehyung’s face and he is utterly taken aback by Jimin’s career choice.

“Who would’ve thought?” Suddenly, you are presented with an opportunity to view Taehyung from a different perspective.

You didn’t know who was sitting right across from you and you see his mouth move but don’t hear the words coming out of them.

“H - huh?” You stammer, coming to a realization that you appreciated his seemingly interest in your life.

“I was asking if you still worked for that internship you were in since junior year.”

“Uh, yeah, they’ve been training me to be an assistant to the division head of advertising. I wasn’t really expecting to be a candidate, but they figured since I did technically work with them the longest, I sort of know the ropes around the company.” Finishing the remaining contents of your mug, you see Taehyung offer you a proud grin, swiping his tongue right across his rosy petals.

“Just one step closer to being a division head.” He encouraged and you feel warmth flutter in your chest, appreciating just how much he was proud of your achievements.

However, he truly meant it.

He has witnessed all of the trials and tribulations you went through to earn a permanent spot in the company you were currently working at. There was stiff competition, but he was there to remind you that you were worthy to achieve the goals as long as you worked hard. The stress of the internship got the best of you and you could only offer him so much of your time. Whenever he’d tried to offer comfort, half of the time, Taehyung succeeded in alleviating any frustrations. 

But there was always one guy who beat you to it the other half of the time.

You were in denial when Taehyung was curious about the nature of your friendship with Yoongi. 

He tread cautiously when it came to him. But as time went on, he could no longer bite his tongue and keep his thoughts to himself.

He had been your boyfriend at that time and he felt that he had some right to give his opinion regarding your friendship with Yoongi. He didn’t demand much — his time was to implicitly convince you that you possessed the same feelings as Yoongi did to you.

When Taehyung felt like he had enough of your denial and Yoongi’s obvious efforts, he surrendered his position and decided to take a step back, clearly not wanting to be a part of a cat and mouse game.

But he was a victim of it.

He wasn’t the same man he was the beginning of the year, though.

He’s more solemn and more accepting. He was more conscious of other’s feelings and perspective of things — he had a better understanding of others and he’s definitely had a better understanding of you.

Downing the rest of the alcoholic beverage inside the pastel-colored mug, Taehyung settles it at the coffee table before he runs his long digits through his textured hair.

“So what’s the real reason why you’re home, YN?”

The silence was overwhelming, but you find comfort in his presence. It wasn’t intimidating despite the way his eyes examined your much smaller frame from head to toe as you took measly sips from your own mug.

Was there even a point in lying?

“Yoongi said he wanted to kiss me.”

“Did you want to kiss him?”

Surprised with your speedy response, you nodded once, realizing the grip around the circumference of the mug.

“But you didn’t, right? You’re not like that.”

You shook your head silently and, now, you’re met with the familiar swell around your throat like somebody had been choking you gently, forcing you to hold onto your last breath.

“I — I would never do that, but… if Jimin didn’t come and save the day, I — I think we would have gotten into a seriously sticky situation.” The memory of Yoongi’s body against yours, the heat of his breath and words fanning against your scarlet face, and the scent of his cologne and cherries off of his skin — Tiffany’s scent. “It can’t happen again.”

“What’d Jimin do?”

“He kissed me instead.”

Raising one brow at you, he pokes the tip of his tongue to swiped across his thick petals.

“Jimin kissed you?”

You nodded once.

“Is this another guy I was supposed to be worried about?” He jokes which earned a song-like chortle erupting from your throat. The sound of your laughter spreads a warmth deep inside this chest. He enjoyed the way your voice filled with so much hope and how your worries were stripped away from you when you giggled.

“He promised he’d kiss me at the countdown.” Your statement earned a chuckle from him and he shakes his head, ridiculing your request. “I didn’t want to be the only who didn’t have anyone to kiss.”

“I didn’t have anyone to kiss at the countdown.” Taehyung simply states and you forced yourself not to stare at his lips but you, obviously, fail at this because he catches you red-handed at the instinctive motion. Your irises immediately shoot to his mouth and you swallow hard.

“You didn’t kiss anybody.”

“Not yet at least.”

You despised the cocky sneer on his face, rolling your eyes as you grabbed a cushion and shoving it in his face.

“I was kidding, I was kidding!” A hearty laughter erupts from the depths of his stomach.

But you did miss his cocky personality. It was a playful side of him and his comments seemed very much nostalgic of when you had first met him. When the fits of laughter settled into a comforting silence, he clears his throat when you see his boxy smile disappear into a more calming position. “Okay, hypothetically speaking, if I said I wasn’t kidding,“ He admits before he swiped his tongue across his mouth to wet his lips. “Would you kiss me right now? Be my first kiss for the year?”

The way the tone of his voice change in a millisecond knocks you out of your seat. You’re aware that you’re holding your breath as you examine his features for the umpteenth time that evening.

Did you want to kiss him?

“That depends.”

“Depends on what?”

Is he single? Was he seeing someone in New York?

“Are you seeing anybody?”

“I haven’t had time to meet anybody, YN.” He scoots his frame closer to where you sat whilst he leans his upper body closer to your smaller face.

Does he expect anything to happen that evening?

“If I do kiss you, are you expecting we go further?”

“Depends on the kiss.” He was so quick to his replies as if he’s thought this moment so many times in his heads.

Has he imagined this moment?

He takes his sweet time leaning in to your face. All throughout this tantalizing moment, he hovers over your lips careful not to touch your skin on yours. The smell of vanilla lingers from your skin and your breath smells of champagne.

“You want to kiss me?”

“If I say yes, would that change your decision?"

You thought about it for a moment before the tip of his nose collides very softly against yours and you can’t help but chuckle at the action, scrunching your nose in the process.

“Hm, I’m not so sure.” Your playful tone gave Taehyung further encouragement to lean in closer, just two lips barely brushing against each other.

Eyes half-lidded with so much fondness for you. He stares lovingly into your eyes before they fall on the two petals threatening to pucker against his own. The comfort that emerged from his chest so familiar to him.

“You didn’t say please.” You teased.

He breathes a chuckle fanning your face in the process.

“YN,” He starts as he pulls away very slowly from your face, missing the warmth of his own breath on your face. “Would you do me the honor of being my first kiss for the year, please?”

A series of laughter fills the room and Taehyung could care less if you said yes or if you had said no because it was more than enough for him to see that he has made your night somewhat better and you appreciated the way he helped you completely forget Yoongi — at least for the past 15 minutes, he’s helped you completely forget Yoongi.

“Yes, Taehyung, I would be delighted to be your first kiss of the year.” The sounds of your laughter soon fade into silence. You sat still where you were positioned and Taehyung froze in a subtle manner as he examined you from your eyes down to your lips.

His digits tickled the skin on your cheek to the back of your neck and an eruption of goosebumps appear on your skin.  You emitted one breath that visibly fans his face before you flutter your eyes closed as you feel his pillowy petals on your own.

There was a hesitance from both your mouths. Your touch on his felt so fragile, afraid that the slightest addition of pressure onto your mouth would have you falling apart. The tickle and warmth of his fingers caressing the skin of your cheek allowed you to relax and lean in forward into the kiss. Taehyung took this as a sign that you were enjoying this so much more than usual. He pokes his tongue momentarily, tasting the bitter flavor of the champagne lingering in your mouth. A sigh erupts from your mouth and the conscious voice in your head tells you to pull away before things go further — before you do anything you regret.

“Taehyung,” You swallow every ounce of desire when you attempt to peel your body off of his. “We can’t do this again. We’re different now.” He nods his head in agreement, swiping his tongue across the expanse of his mouth. “We’re different, but that doesn’t mean my feelings for you has changed.” You were left speechless; mouth open with no words slipping between your lips. “We’ve changed for the better, YN.” Hesitant at first, Taehyung musters all the courage to reach for your fragile digits that laid upon your thigh. First, he fiddled with the pad of your fingers before he laces them around his hands.

“I’m not this college asshole boyfriend who controls over every aspect of your life.” He confesses looking into your eyes. “Just give me one more shot, YN. I can show you that I’m better.”

“But I — I don’t think I’ve changed for the better, Tae.” You feel your fingers unlacing away from his and you could feel your heart drop on the floor. “I don’t even know if I’m ready for another chance in any sort of relationship.” It came out as a scrutinizing joke, but it was the cruel truth you had to face.

The silence was a little too overwhelming for your liking.

You were thankful the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable to him as it were to you. Because the pad of his index finger lifts your chin up and his eyes meets your once again. “You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”

Choosing not to reply to his answer, you did not want your face to give away any sort of response for him, so you chewed on the inside of your cheek looking into his eyes.

“You — you don’t have to answer that. It’s not fair.”

His thumb caresses your cheek so softly and you savor the warmth of his palm on your skin. It was such a comforting gesture and he tucked the strand of hair behind your ear, hoping it was enough to soothe you.

“I can never have him.” You realize and his eyes meet your glassy irises. “We can never be together.” Unsure of whether this is your inebriated consciousness enabling you to think out loud, but you chew on the inside of your cheek as you focus on something else other than the salty tears building in your eyes.

Taehyung remains silent across from you and you can’t blame the guy. What was he supposed to say to you?

“I’m happy for him though.” You attempt to convince yourself when you feel his hot thumb at the corner of your lip.

“I’m glad you’re happy for him, but are you happy?” He reassures you, swallowing hard. “You’re amazing, YN. It pains me to see you like this. Even after all these months, it seems like you’re numb to the pain. If not me, there is someone out there very much willing to be with you.” Unsure of what to reply to him, you can’t help but offer him a meek grin. “I appreciate that, Tae.” He sighs as you finally got a hold of yourself, relieved to see that he has brightened up your mood even if it is for the slightest bit.

He pulls you into his arms to wrap his large arms around you and you can’t help but appreciate his warm embrace by slithering your arms around his as well. “Any guy would kill to have you.” He whispers as he pecks your forehead, digits combing through your silky hair.

You melt in the comfort of his arms and you feel your lids slowly flutter shut. The steady rise and low of his chest indicate that he is just as comfortable as he is with the embrace.

“I — I should probably get going now.” He announces very softly, hoping not to disturb your tranquility.

“I, uh, yeah. It’s getting late, huh?” You sigh and you slowly peel yourself once again from his embrace.

“It is.”

“How’d you get here? Did you want me to get an Uber for you or something?”

“No, I — I drove here.” You see him slowly lift himself up from the sofa and fish the car keys out of his pocket, carefully folding the blazer jacket he had on earlier.

“You’re not drunk.”

“Not the slightest bit.”

“I don’t believe you.” The crease on your brow exhibited concern over your former partner’s safety.

“I’ll be fine, YN.”

“I don’t want to risk you driving home when you’re tipsy. You could get pulled over or you could get into a little fender bender or you could —“

“Then what do you suggest I do?” Taehyung’s folds his arms, raising a brow at your rambling.

“Spend the night.”

The softness and warmth of your mattress had managed to keep you toasty throughout the frosty winter morning. You curl up onto your pillow and stretch only to open your eyes and discover your naked body entangled with the linen sheets underneath your frame. Swallowing hard, the notable fatigue from your encounter with Taehyung is evident in your inner thighs and the unpleasantries of a morning hangover soon rakes over your brain.

You slowly rise from where you lay only to find the other side of your bed to be completely tattered. Pillows clearly slept on and your clothes folded over by the foot of your bed. You blush at the thought of Taehyung gather all of your tattered clothing early in the morning only for him to sneakily depart from your household.

However, the smell of bacon soon emerge from the other side of the door and you are lured by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. A muffled conversation is being held right next door and you scramble to search for a clean pair of pajamas to keep you warm and decent for your appearance that morning.

Creaking open your bedroom door to enter your living room into the kitchen, you are perplexed to see a shirtless Taehyung wearing a pair of plaid pajamas with a white t-shirt on himself. But what truly catches you off-guard is Hobi offering Taehyung a mug while he pours himself a hearty cup of coffee while Michelle cracks open the egg in a pool of bacon grease.

“How many did you guys have to drink?” Hobi curiously interrogates Taehyung.

“All we had was the champagne and we may have finished the last bits of tequila.” Michelle makes a face that contorts into disgust and you agree because you recall the burn of the spirit down your throat.

“Speak of the devil,” Michelle’s eyes darts over your confused state. “Good morning, sunshine. I’m making your eggs how you like it; drenched in bacon fat.”

Unaware of the strange situation right in front of you, you amble towards the cupboard where you grab yourself a mug, redirecting it towards Hobi signaling to pour yourself a cup as well. Unsure of what to really say currently, you take careful sips of the hot caffeine into your mouth. Your eyes meet Taehyung who can’t seem to read your expression well. Your brows knit together at how Michelle and Hoseok had manage to treat having Taehyung over at your household as a normal occurrence.

You were expecting Michelle to be kicking the poor soul out of the apartment. But here he was standing sharing a cup of coffee and sharing stories with your roommate and her boyfriend — your two best friends.

“A — alright, what the fuck is going on? Morning afters with him always end up a disaster.” Michelle raises both her brows at you and Taehyung can’t help but chuckle to himself as he swallows his cup of joe.

“Oh, c’mon, YN. I’m not that evil now, am I? It’s the new year, I don’t want to be rude to our first guest of the year.” She reaches for a clean plate before she offers you two cooked eggs with a slice of bacon and toast on the side. “Please eat. You need carbs in your system because Taehyung tells me you guys didn’t drink enough water before you two went to bed which is why I have these for you.” Popping open the lid of a painkillers, she offers you the proper dosage. Taking the two small pills into your mouth before you swallow them dry, you knit your brows further still attempting to understand the complexity of the predicament you have found yourself in. You take a sit on the stool where Taehyung seems to be sitting.

“How do you like your eggs, Taehyung?”

“Scrambled, please.”

Michelle then cracks two eggs into the pan before she hastily scrambled the eggs into the pan, hoping it would be enough to satiate his appetite.

“Where did you get these? I’m pretty sure I returned all your clothes that I have lying around here.”

“They’re Hoseok’s.” Taehyung simply answers. “I hope you don’t mind, but I used your robe to get a glass of water earlier this morning and — uh, he offered to let me use some spare clothes he had lying around your apartment, so I figured it’d be better than using your robe.” He chuckles and Hoseok laughs along with him as well.

“Yeah, man, I don’t know when you have to fly back to New York, but just leave it here when you’re done.”

“Thanks.” He expresses simply before Michelle places two slices of cooked bacon and the rest of the scrambled eggs on the side along with a slice of toast.

“Eat up, you two. You guys didn’t really drink much, but you weren’t hydrated enough before you two went to bed.” Michelle sighs. “It’s the basics of hangover prevention! I expect you guys to learn from this.” She scolds once more and you begin diving into your breakfast, shoveling the heated breakfast placed right in front of you.

Unaware of the conversation Hobi started between him and Taehyung, off of the corner of your eyes, you see Michelle excuse herself to her room. However, she shoots you a look before she enters inside your room — a signal for you to excuse yourself as well. “Um, I’m going to go look for my phone really quickly.” You conjure up an excuse before you lift yourself off of the bar stool and scramble over to your bedroom where you had caught Michelle awaiting for your presence inside your bedroom.

“Okay, I know it looks bad.” Her eyes had scanned your room, but you were tight lip when you see that your room had been relatively neat and organized. Your outfit and Taehyung’s attire from the previous night had been folded at the foot of your bed while his side of the bed had been tidied up. However, you were very much aware of the ripped up condom packet at the nightstand which gave an indication of your rendezvous.

“But I’m sure it was because we were drunk.” You lied through your teeth.

“He told me he wasn’t drunk.”

You stood silent and you chewed on your cheek.

“He wasn’t drunk?” You questioned.

“Did you think he was drunk?”

“I — I wasn’t drunk.” You confessed with blushed cheeks, unaware that Taehyung had lied about being drunken the previous night.

“So you were both sober?”

You shook your head, swallowing hard when you sat on your bed. “I was… buzzed, perhaps. But I honestly thought he had been drunk and I convinced myself that I didn’t want him anymore, but I think I was just trying to find an excuse to be with him again.” Michelle nods in agreement, wide-eyed at your justification. “He wants you back, YN.”

“You don’t know that.” You counter.

“I caught him in our kitchen this morning, YN.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“He was naked.”

Your brows raised at once.

“I was, too.”

You sputtered at your thoughts and couldn’t help but escape a cackle, hoping it would lighten up the awkward with your roommate.

“I’m serious, YN! Do you know how embarrassing it is to walk out and see him butt naked in our kitchen looking for water?” You can’t help but continued chortling to yourself, clutching onto your robe. “I ran back in my room, telling Hobi to give him a pair of pajamas! The poor thing didn’t have anything to sleep!” Tears began swelling at the corners of your eyes and you grinned from ear to ear at her story.

Michelle nudged you playfully before she sat right next to you, settling into the comforts of your queen sized mattress. “When we were both decent, he said something along the lines of me hating him so much that I should probably leave the apartment.”

Your grin disappears at his statement, surprised to hear the statement leave her lips. “I was this close to calling an Uber back to his hotel.” Michelle sighs before she closes her eyes and you chew on your cheek, seeing that she is about to reveal something she wasn’t expecting. “But he said that he had a late Christmas present for you in the car.” You raise your brows, still confused about the statement. “And then he asked — very politely, may I add — if he could leave a painkiller and a glass of water by your nightstand, just to make sure you don’t suffer searching for the damn thing like you always do when you’re hang over.”

There is a giddiness at the depths of your chest that made the corner of your mouth twitch into a weak grin.

“He never did that before.” Michelle sighs as she stares at the ceiling. “You both just fuck and then he sneaks out in the morning. I catch up him so many times leaving your room and he doesn’t say a word — doesn’t really give a shit about you.” Inhaling deeply when she turns to look at you, you turn to look her in the eye as well. “He asked me if he was allowed to spend the night… just to make sure you were okay when you woke up.”

You immediately turn away from her profile, this time, you stare at the ceiling. “It’s different now because it seems like he seems to give a shit about you, YN.” She concludes and you begin to nibble at your supple bottom lip, concerned at her thoughts. “It could be some kind of facade. But, when you talk to him, he’s not… that bad.”

You agree with her statement and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Are you guys planning on getting back together or what?”

You shrug at her statement, attempting to piece the puzzle together as well. “We haven’t really discussed it. All I remember is we had our second shot and everything sort of… unravelled itself. One thing led to another and we couldn’t help ourselves from then on.” You whisper ever so softly, afraid that he would overhear your vulnerable thoughts. “It was… different last night; too raw to reply, to be honest.” You sigh in bliss and you try to shake your head back to reality. 

“I… I really don’t want to discuss anything — I don’t want to establish something we’re both not ready to handle, you know?”

She nods and gives you a meek grin, proud that you were — at least — attempting to take your time with your decision and your feelings regarding the current predicament.

Pushing yourself up from where you laid on your bed, you offer your hand for Michelle to get up from your mattress as well. “C’mon, who knows what Hobi is telling about me? I’d like to defend myself, you know.” You were hasty to your door when you hear a booming laughter come from the kitchen.

Ready to turn the knob of your bedroom door, you hear Michelle call out your name.

“YN,” she begins and you turn to her, wondering what else she has to say. “Believe it or not, but you’re glowing. That’s how I know it’s different.”

The muffled trickling of keys from outside immediately dropped the current conversation to hushed whispers. Because not only could you hear the muffled sounds of keys rattling outside your door, but you could also hear the sounds of Jin’s whining from your front door.

“I already told you guys before we left I left my key at my fucking place before we left to get the donuts. I don’t understand why I’m getting all the blame.” He hisses at somebody and you stand up from where you sat right next to Taehyung, folding your arms as you await for him to open the door.

“Because I texted you before I left to bring your keys, hyung. You’ve been boasting how you only have access to YN and Michelle’s apartment considering I’ve been revoked of my fucking keys because I threw that Friendsigivng at their place when they went back to visit their parents and left their place completely trashed.” He rattled the keys unlocking the first knob and attempting to jiggle the key into the other lock. “And Yoongi-hyung says he lost his, so you were the only one with keys!”

“Stop arguing, you imbeciles.” Yoongi grumbles before the door swings open slowly only to see Taehyung completely stop mid conversation at the presence of Jin, Jimin, Tiffany who held balloons that spelled out ‘Congratulations!’ and, finally, Yoongi who held the two stereotypical pink boxes that most likely contained donuts.

“Oh, shit, we didn’t think you guys would be up this fucking early.” Jimin scans the room to see Hobi already working on the dishes, Michelle is sat on the other end of the section sofa while Taehyung sat comfortably on the other end. However, you were busy tidying up the kitchen along with Hobi.

“And we have a new face!” Tiffany’s dulcet tones follows a cumbersome tension in the entire room. At this point, everyone is fully aware of your previous feelings for Yoongi and his feelings for yours.

To have Tiffany acknowledge Taehyung’s presence somehow is much better than any of the three acknowledging him because she reaches over to extend her arm while introducing herself. 

“I’m Tiffany — Yoongi’s girlfriend. Sorry for barging in just like that. I just get really excited meeting new people, s’all.”

Taehyung stands from where he sat and extends his arms shaking her hand as a response and nodding along to acknowledge Jin, Jimin, and Yoongi. “I’ve heard about you from YN. It’s nice to meet you.” He darts his eyes towards you raising his brows only for you to blush scarlet, avoiding any eye contact with your three other best friends.

“It’s been — what? Nearly a year since we’ve seen you, Taehyung.” Jin clearly forces a smile trying to keep the atmosphere as friendly as possible. Jimin already quite familiar with Taehyung’s personality and reads the expression of Michelle’s faces that she has seemed to be completely unfazed by his presence. However, her eyes pay close attention to Yoongi’s tense jaw as he examined the man at the center of the room.

“In case you didn’t know, Tiffany, I — I’ve dated YN for a while.” He clears the air, hoping to break the sudden tension in the room and you shake your head at his sheer audacity. However, it did bring some sort of relief to the situation. He always seemed like the type not to hide anything. He was transparent for the right reasons. There was nothing really to hide at this point. 

“Which is why everyone is so surprised to see me here… again.”

“Oh, I see.” Tiffany concludes, nibbling on her bottom lip and silence fills the air. But you come to the realization that you were questioning why the four new guests were somehow invited to your household.

“Hold on, what are we celebrating? What’s with the balloons and donuts?” You raise the question only for everyone to go wide-eyed before Taehyung tilts his head nonchalantly.

“Didn’t Michelle tell you in your bedroom earlier?” Taehyung scratches his head but the perplexes expression painted on your face answered it for him.

“Oh my god, YN, please don’t tell me you haven’t taken a long at Michelle’s goddamn hand.” Jin practically scolds and your eyes shoot over to where Michelle had scurried off to Hobi and you catch sight of the bright, shining diamond gracing her ring finger and you feel the high pitched screech erupt from your hand at the top of your lungs, running over to Michelle.

“I swear to god, Hobi! I didn’t think you had the fucking guts to do it!” You yelp at the newly engaged couple right in front of you. You leaped into the arms of Michelle and Hobi, bursting with so much joy that you couldn’t contain the grin that stretched from ear to ear right across your face.

“Alright, how much do we owe you, Taehyung?” Michelle nudges at Hobi and Taehyung shoves his hands in the depths of the sweatpants he wore.

“Ten bucks each, so twenty.”

“Wh —“

“We made a bet to see how long you’d figure out. Hobi thought you’d notice straight away, I thought you’d notice once breakfast was done and you would help clean up around the house, and Taehyung said you wouldn’t notice until someone gave it away.” You rolled your eyes at the three of them, immediately nudging Taehyung’s side only to have him wrap an arm around your neck, resting his arm on your shoulder while he nestles his head on top of yours.

“You guys suck, you know that?” You grumble only for Jimin to search through all your cupboards, searching for something around the kitchen. “Jimin-ssi, what are you looking for?”

“Wine.” He sighs only to be defeated to see the empty bottles by the end of the counter. “You guys must have been completely blacked out if you finished that all to yourself.”

“It wasn’t just me. Taehyung had some to drink too.”

“Plus, it’s not like we drank it all at once.” He clarifies only for Jin to realize that Yoongi had raised a single brow at the statement, already shoving a donut inside his mouth to keep himself busy, unable to distract himself from the old flame right in front of his eyes.

“We need a toast, you guys! We’re at that age where we have friends who are engaged.” Jimin emphasized only to look through the refrigerator only to find a gallon of milk along with orange juice and he sets the gallon of milk, grabbing 8 glasses from the cabinets to pour them in each. 

“Alright, everyone, grab a donut.”

Jin flips open both boxes only to reveal the heavenliest of donuts before everyone’s eyes only for you to grab a chocolate donut and grabbing a glass of milk to hold up. “Tiffany, honey, I know your resolution was to make healthier choices, but we can always go for a run right after this. It’s a special occasion.”

Everyone couldn’t help but laugh at Tiffany’s reluctance to reach for a donut, but she grabs the smallest out of the bunch before she grabs a glass of milk to herself. At the corner of your eye, you had caught a glimpse of Yoongi’s arms circling around her waist, nuzzling his nose into her hair before he places a single kiss on her head.

There is a hot swell on your throat as you look away only to feel a heated pressure at the small of your back to see Taehyung reach for the same donut as you and you offer him a glass of milk for him.

“To Michelle and Hobi-hyung,” Jimin starts only for everyone to clink their glasses, sharing a toast. “Who knew that YN and Yoongi would be the ones traumatized to witness you two butt-naked on this very spot?” His hands pats on the kitchen countertop and makes an atrocious reaction at the realization of their sweating bodies on the marbled counter top. “I must admit, I cannot believe I’m saying this, but we cannot wait to witness even more naked shenanigans from you two.”

An eruption of laughter fills the atmosphere and there is a sense of tranquility and solidarity with all of the dynamics of each and every individual in the room. When each person takes one large gulp of the milk, you all take a bite of the soft donuts only for Michelle and Hobi to share a delicate and sweet kiss.

There is a tug to your side where Taehyung pulls you closer only to watch him devour the rest of his donut and he drinks the rest of his milk. A milk mustache forms on his lips and you wipe it off with your thumb, chortling at his playful personality.

Suddenly, the ache in your chest numbs down to a bare strangle.

And, for once, your eyes aren’t locked on him.

“Hey, uh, congratulations again for getting engaged and all.” Taehyung awkwardly interrupts the conversation between Michelle and Hoseok only for Michelle to raise her brows at him. “Thanks for — you know, earlier this morning.” He scratched the back of his head as you observe him from afar.

“You mean, not kicking you out?”

Taehyung nods and you fold your arms, watching the dynamic between your roommate and your former partner unravel before your eyes. There was a glint of hope in the way her eyes traveled from head to toe and the desire for his eyes not to meet hers.

“You’re starting to grow on me, Taehyung-ie.” The man before you purses his lips and nods once at her final conclusion. You are confused, but — ultimately — curiouser about what the two have conversed about before you had awaken from your deep slumber. “Pretty sure YN will have you as her plus one for our wedding.” From the corner of her eye, Michelle glances at you before she winks over at him and he responds with a forced chuckle. “However, if you two have a repeat of your previous encounters, then I’ll be sending you an invitation, nevertheless.”

He looks up at her scratches the corner of his brow with a sly grin across his visage. “Well, let’s hope I won’t be getting one.” He implied causing a few stares from some listeners in your humble abode. A blush creeping on your cheeks at the realization that he had intentions of making sure that you two would not end up in this endless cycle of make-up and break-up. “Say goodbye to everybody, Taehyung, because I’m walking you to your car.” As you capture his wrist around your fingers, he merely waves a goodbye to everyone, sending his pleasantries to all the people he had met and to Tiffany who he had the pleasure of being introduced to. With the muffled goodbyes on the other side of the apartment, you close the front door right behind you before you begin stomping over to where the guest parking had been at your apartment complex.

“What — what did you mean by all of that?” You jumped straight onto the topic, not wanting to prolong the conversation.

“Do you have plans tonight?” You shake your head no and with a crest of your brow, he tucks a strand of a stray hair behind your ear.

“Have dinner with me tonight.” He requests and you swallow at his statement. “I told you. I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon. I would like to spend the last day here with an old friend.”

“Flame. Old flame.” You correct him.

“Ah, right.” He merely chuckles but you push past him, pacing back and forth at the parking lot, trying to get a better understanding of the predicament you both were in.

“Why is Michelle being so nice to you? And what did you talk about with her —“

“Why don’t you go and ask her for yourself?”

“She — she won’t tell me.” You sighed, rolling your eyes in the process.

“Then have dinner with me tonight. Have you been to that new sushi restaurant downtown?”

“I — uh, no, I haven’t had the time to try it out.” You grumble chewing on the inside of your cheek, awaiting for his response.

“Then I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight, dear. If you really don’t want to go, just shoot me a text.” He unlocks his car and he begins his journey over to where he had parked. “If you’re in anyway interested, wear something comfortable.”

You stood there glued to the asphalt of the parking lot floors as he hops inside his vehicle, turning the engine on. You shake your head in disbelief at the audacity for him to leave you even more confused than ever; expecting to get answers, instead, you were given more questions and inquiries running at a hundred miles an hour racking in your brain. You amble back to your apartment unit lethargically, trying to add two and two together before you see a figure standing outside of the front door of your apartment unit only to recognize it was Yoongi.

“Please don’t tell me they locked us out.”

“No, uh, we’re fine.” Yoongi merely grumbles and you fold your arms, hugging yourself for warmth as you feel the freezing breeze brush past your thin pajamas. “I was just curious about —“

“About?”

“Why he’s suddenly crawling back to you?”

Taken aback by his choice of words, you choose not to meet his eyes and they soon land on his shoes and your fuzzy slippers. The proximity of his stance from yours relatively distant from each other.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Yoongi.”

“Oh, c’mon, YN, you were doing so well. I haven’t seen Taehyung in months — you were doing well without him.” Knitting your brows at his estimation, there is a lock on your jaw when you realize that Yoongi had no idea of your encounter with Taehyung.

He was aware that you two had seen each other, but he wasn’t made aware of the gory details that occurred. As a matter of fact, it was only Michelle who really discovered of your encounter with Taehyung.

“I was doing well because I was desperate for a distraction, Yoongi.” You breathed out without hesitation, mustering up every ounce of courage in your system to look him straight in the eye. 

“It may seem like I’m doing well — I earned a permanent position at my job, got promoted, and now I’m a possible candidate for another promotion. But that’s because I forced myself into this lifestyle, Yoongi. I forced myself to suppress any emotion I felt.”

He stood still frozen as he gazed right into your eyes. The clench in his jaw indicated that there was an obvious tension between the both of you.

“With or without Taehying, I wasn’t doing well, Yoongi.” You admitted and gnawed on the inside of your cheeks. “I was just findings ways to… not self-destruct.”

“You will if you go back to him.”

“He’s different now.” You defend and see the tinge of annoyance in Yoongi’s pretty face.

“Don’t be silly, YN. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“Well, that’s just something we gotta get used to, I guess.” You grumble in annoyance as your teeth clatter against each other because of the cold.

“Stop being so stubborn. He doesn’t deserve another chance.”

You’re starting to grow annoyed at his words and you walk towards your front door, grabbing the knob. “Yoongi, I understand you’re my best friend, but don’t you think I’m doing this in an attempt to get over you?”

Glued to the cement, he is as a still as a statue at your response.

“I see you’re happy, Yoongs, so I’m going to try to be happy too.” 

After hours of scouring through your wardrobe to find something “comfortable” for your date with Taehyung, you settled upon a black bodysuit that is tucked underneath a faux leather skirt. You complemented the outfit with a pair of stockings and knee high boots along with a blazer in case the location of the date was far more fancier than the usual.

But the blazer was absolutely unnecessary.

When Taehyung had picked you up from your quaint unit, he wore a black turtle neck along with a pair of black skinny jeans complemented with a long trench coat to protect him from the chilly weather.

He informs you that a colleague of his is still holding a viewing session of his photography collection in a near by art gallery which piqued your interest. Relieved to hear that you were more than interested with the idea of the exhibition, you two listened intently to his colleague present the final viewing session before you two ventured together.

Of course, Taehyung guided you through the exhibited admiring the angle and the perspective his colleague had decided on. You would listen intently, enjoying the decent moscato served. There is a familiar warmth in depths of your abdomen, not from the wine, but from the way his beautiful digits tangled along with manicured ones.

After the viewing session, he had reserved a spot by the new sushi restaurant you heard your co-workers discuss every month or so. You decided to order the quintessential edamame where you two would pick at the pods and pop each bean into your mouth while you two decided upon what to try. You were both interested in the different rolls they had to offer, popping each roll into your mouth in a split second.

“Holy fuck, you need to try this one.” He would say. You witness the way he effortlessly picks up the roll and hovers it by your lips and you open your mouth allowing him to pop the small morsel upon your tongue.

When you would close your mouth and start chewing, he would nod happily only to begin diving into a different roll.

The dinner ends when the both of you are sufficiently tapped out. However, to your surprise, there is a gelato boutique next door to the sushi bar and you persuade Taehyung that you would pay for his gelato since he had paid for dinner.

He takes up the offer.

You both request for a piccolo sized gelato. He ordered an agostino which was an Argentinian dulce de leech. Meanwhile, you were taken aback by the charcoal vanilla which you ultimately grew to love.

When you get the order you had both requested, Taehyung mysteriously jerks his heads outside only for you to follow behind him as he looks both ways to cross the street.

“Where are we going?” You grumble, struggling to catch up with him.

“We’re going for a walk.”

“Why are you going so fast?”

“Maybe you’re too slow.”

“Well, slow down for me, will you?” He chuckles at your whines and you began scooping the gelato into your mouth, allowing it to melt inside your mouth.

“Taste good?” He hums before he shovels a large scoop of his gelato inside his. You nod at once. Your eyes settling on this cup and he moves it closer to you, nudging for you to try the agostino. You take a small scoop and place it on your tongue to taste the overtly sweet creaminess.

“Here, try mine.” You switch cups and while you mindlessly shovel more of his gelato into your mouth. Taehyung pauses, grins at the way your eyes glisten, despite the lack of light underneath the night sky.

He takes small shovels of your flavor into his mouth as you two amble around the block. He could really get used to this.

The conversation that you two participated in had been interrupted by the high pitched tone in the depths of her purse. She hands you back the small cup before she fishes the phone, unlocking it.

He enjoys the way the bright light shines upon your smiling face.

However, his brows knit into one when he watches your beautiful smile drop into a frown. The inflection of confusion is evident in the way the crinkle in your eyes disappear and the furrow of your brows are put together.

“What is it?” He inquires and you lock your phone, not hastily, but you shake your head, offering him a grin to ease his worries. “Did something happen?”

“No, no. It’s nothing to worry about, to be honest.”

But you were lying — to yourself and to him.

“Who was it that texted you?”

You didn’t want to have to lie some more to him, so you decide to take smaller scoops of your gelato. Suddenly, you had lost your appetite. “It was Michelle.”

“What’d she say, if you don’t mind me asking?”

You paused momentarily, debating on whether you should answer him truthfully or not. There was nothing to hide at this point. Taehyung knew about your predicament with Yoongi. 

However, would it be wise to disclose him on Yoongi’s stance between your renunion with the man right in front of you?

“She told me Yoongi had called Hoseok.. wondering where I was.”

“What’d he say?”

“He didn’t say anything. He wanted to consult with me, first.”

“You didn’t answer.”

“I’m on a date with you. It’d be rude of me to just text them, suddenly.”

The corner of his lips twitch to a weak grin. However, he understands your uncertainty of the predicament.

“You’re not sure what to do. You’re afraid if you tell Yoongi the truth, he’d be disappointed because we’re, hypothetically, together. But if you hide this from him, you’d feel like an awful friend for hiding such a big thing from him.” Taehyung voices out the dilemma and you shake your head, swallowing the heaviness of the situation.

“Taehyung, we are on a date.” You conclude and stop on your tracks, chewing on the inside of your cheeks. “As your date, my attention will solely be on you.” He appreciates the way you are approaching things. However, he stops you in front of you, eyes leveling with yours.

“And, as your date, I want you to have a good time and, clearly, you seeing that text dampened your mood.” You remained straight faced with him, losing all appetite for the Italian dessert laying on the palm of your hand. “I care about how you feel, YN. You can talk to me.”

He lifts his hands to caress your cheeks. The thumb nudging at the corner of your mouth to encourage a grin to appear on your visage. “Taehyung, the past two hours I’ve been with you, I — I have never felt this good about myself in a  while.” You confess and he stops caressing your cheeks, pained to see that you sincerely have not been satisfied for the past six months you had not seen each other.

“A part of me is happy to hear that. But the other absolutely despises the fact that you’ve been suffering for this long.” There was a heat suffocating you on your throat and you grit your teeth, forcing yourself to hold back the water works.

“It’s true though and I want to savor every moment I have left with you. I don’t know when I’m going to see you again, so I’m going to be in the moment with you.” You conclude, not wanting to discuss your current dilemma with him — not because you didn’t want to discuss it with him, but because you were spending every moment with him on a ticking clock.

Unable to control himself any longer, Taehyung leans down to firmly press his mouth onto yours. Petals enveloping your own and the heat of his tongue swipes across your lower lip to express just how truly touched he was by your words. His hand cupping your profile and swiping away your flying hair against the cool wind.

Eyes half-lidded with warmth and pleasure, you return the action with as much fervor as he had originally began with. His tongue tasted of the milky treat and you were growing addicted to the taste of the gelato. Careful not to spill any of the melted gelato onto him, you are already slithering your arms around his figure, pulling away to gasp for air.

“As much as I’d like to do so much more than kiss you,” Taehyung was the first to speak between the both of you. He tucks a strand of your hair behind ear and caresses the softness of your cheeks. “It’s starting to get a little late and I have an early flight tomorrow.” He sighs sadly, staring right into your eyes.

A small pout has formed upon your face and you decide that perhaps it’s best you both stop now.

“Time flies by when you’re having too much fun.” At your simple statement, Taehyung leans down and pecks your mouth delicately. His thumb nudging at the corner of your mouth.

“C’mon, let’s get you home.” He announces and you can’t help but agree with him. Delicate digits lace themselves around his skinny, beautiful ones as you both walk back to where he had originally parked.The entire ride back to your humble abode you spent the entire time singing many throwback love ballads at the top of your lungs. Two empty gelato cup nestled in between your thighs while you harmonized with Taehyung’s beautiful baritone voice.

He steers left and enters your apartment complex where you both try to calm your giddiness by lowering the volume of the radio. He pulls right in front of your building and you turn to him when he puts it on park and he bites his lip when he looks at you.

“I had an amazing time, YN.” Taehyung declares and you nod, blushing. “Who knew we would start off the new year together, huh?” He can’t hold himself from cupping your face and kissing your cheek, returning back his initiation by deepening the kiss.

“I had a good time too.” You sigh into his mouth and are reminded of your previous encounters the night before. “A — Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?”

“As much as I’d love to extend my evening, but I really need to get some packing done and get an early night in considering I’ll be traveling all day.” You were satisfied with his answer. Though, initially, you were upset he wouldn’t ease your desires, you were glad that you both were taking it gradually slow.

At least this time, you were taking it slow.

“I know it may be too soon, but do you know when I get to see you again?” He pulls away momentarily to think back. “I’m not quite sure. I do travel every other week because it’s part of the job. Most of the time, it’s here in Los Angeles, but it’s not a hundred percent guarantee.”

“I understand.” You replied and his grin softens when he lays his eyes on your mouth once again, placing the gentlest of kisses on your soft petals. “I guess I’ll see you whenever I can then.” His fingers tickle the back of your neck when you both share a sweet kiss.

However, you are interrupted by the bright light shingling right to your right. The sounds of the glass tapping right next to you startles you and Taehyung is visibly confused to see Tiffany and Yoongi standing right next to his rental car.

Your eyes meet Yoongi’s and you are visibly stiff from where you sat, shocked to see the couple outside.

Taehyung rolls down the window for you and Tiffany waves a hello to the both of you.

“Oh my god, you guys! You got back together!”

You both immediately shook your heads, wanting to clear the other. There is a wave of relief in Yoongi’s face, but shame in Tiffany’s at her assumption.

“No, we’re… we’re trying to work things out, but not officially together.” Taehyung clarifies.

“Oh, noted.” Tiffany nods and bites her lower lip. “I’m so glad you both get a second chance at something though. You guys should have came earlier though! We had a Disney movie night with Michelle and Hobi. It would have been a cool triple date.” At the mention of your future plans with Taehyung, Yoongi has returned to his state of disbelief once again. Unsure of how to react, he remains difficult to read.

“I bet it would’ve have been fun.” You sighed and turn to Taehyung, kissing him on the cheek, hoping for the cumbersome atmosphere to die down. “Call me when you’ve arrived to your hotel safely.”

When you hop out of the car, Taehyung says his goodbyes to both Tiffany and Taehyung and he exits the apartment complex, relieved to have clarified it for everyone that you and Taehyung were just working things out.

“I’ll see you guys later. I’m… really fucking tired, but we should definitely have another movie night next weekend or something.” You grin at Tiffany and fish your apartment keys out of your purse, hugging Tiffany goodbye before you head back to door.

There was a part of you that screamed to avoid any physical contact with Yoongi, but you did not want to alert the already tense moment by not offering him one in front of Tiffany. However, he had already decided upon himself to dismiss the conversation but unlocking his car where had parked.

“God, he’s been grumpy all night.” Tiffany complains and your curiosity is piqued. What could have possibly irked him so much to the point that he is still vexed up until now? You bite back any inquiries regarding his mood; afraid that perhaps it had something to do with your little reunion with Taehyung.

“Nothing like wine and chocolate can’t fix. I’m sure that’ll brighten up his mood.” You advise and Tiffany agrees before she waves another goodbye. Turning away from the departing couple, you attempt to fish out the keys out of your purse and enter your unit.

The living room is pristine. You would have assumed that it’d be trashed for the evening, but the cushions had been positioned beautifully on the sectional. Not a single crumb laid on the carpeted floors of your apartment and the scent of vanilla lingers in the air. The lights are turned off at the hallway and inside Michelle’s room, assuming that the couple have turned in for the night.

When you strip your coat off of your frame, you hear the lightest of knocks behind you, sneaking a peek inside the peep hole to see Yoongi awaiting for a response. Unlocking all the locks and opening the door for him, he invites himself inside and you are ultimately confused at his presence.

“Did you forget anything?” You inquired, unsure of his purpose for coming back inside your abode.

“How was your date with Taehyung?” You held your breath at the mention of his name and, suddenly, you can feel the density of the atmosphere around you. It was unbelievably quiet and all you can hear is the ticking noises of your noisy kitchen clock.

“I had a good time. If you were curious, we went to that sushi place downtown and there was a gelato shop next door.” His jaw tightens as you reply and he scratches the back of his neck, swallowing at his following inquiry.

“Was it really good enough that you had to reconsider getting back together with him?”

“Yoongi, it was just… a date. Taehyung and I don’t even know what’s going on, so we’re going to take it slow —“

“What the fuck does that mean? Hoseok says you guys fucked last night and, now, you’re taking it slow?” His annoyance was infectious and the knitting of your brows was a sign to Yoongi that you were puzzled with his current stance in your relationship.

“Why does it matter to you, Yoongs? Quite frankly, my dating life is none of your concern. You have your own to cherish and rejoice in. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to puzzle the pieces together.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt again.” He seethes and you scoff at his reason.

“I’ve gotten used to it, alright? I appreciate the concern, but this is my decision to make — not yours or Michelle’s or Hoseok’s — mine.” You take a step closer and you can’t help but savor the scent of his new cologne that Tiffany had recently bought as his Christmas gift. He stays silent as he reads your face, looking you directly in the eye before you swallow hard.

“Can you answer me honestly?”

You nod once and you can feel your heart beating faster, jaw clenching at the anticipation of his question.

“Why are you so hesitant to go back with him? You had sex with him, agreed to go on a date with him — why take things slow? What’s with the reluctance to establish a relationship when you think he’s changed?” The question hit you hard and there was one simple answer to it, but you bit your tongue because it’d complicate everything so much more; Because if you answered honestly at that very moment, everything at that moment would be real.

You were still in love with him.

And the way your eyes remained disconnected from his. Your breath hot as you sighed, releasing all the exasperation in this sticky situation was enough for Yoongi to understand your hesitation.

Nothing had to be said.

Frustrated with the excruciating silence filling the air, Yoongi takes a sharp inhale before instinctively cups your face into his palms and crashes his mouth onto yours. It was unexpected yet almost necessary for a moment like this. Months of pent up anguish, frustration, and desire to feel his mouth on yours, it was finally happening.

His mouth tasted sweet like ice cream. You hated the way you can taste a slight taste of strawberry on his mouth because you knew he had kissed Tiffany and it was her lipgloss that you were tasting. Suddenly, you are overwhelmed with Tiffany.

He wouldn’t kiss Tiffany like this. Unless, you didn’t think he had kiss Tiffany like this. He was kissing you like it was his last dying breath and you despised that he was good at it. You can feel the pace of his breathing when your bodies collide against each other, seeking for more contact than a lust driven kiss.

And you can’t help but inhale the scent of his goddamn cologne. It was intoxicating and you could smell the fabric softener of his clothes rubbing against yours. The callouses on his digits were rough on your cheeks, but there was a tenderness in the way he caressed them. A roughness in the way his other set of digits would tug at the root of your hair but a sense of comfort int he way the pads of his finger massage your scalp.

You were putty in his hands and you savored his mouth.

But it was too overwhelming; the taste of chocolate ice cream now tasted of strawberry lip gloss and the smell of his sandalwood cologne now a coconut infused perfume that littered his shirt.

The palms of your hands landing on his chest as you gently tugged his much bigger frame off of yours. The hold he had on you now gone and you whimpered at the loss of his touch.

“T — Tiffany’s waiting for you.” There is a look of pain and regret painted on your visages and you wiped his taste off of your mouth, hating the fact that you loved the way he tasted. You wanted every fiber of him off of you, avoiding addiction.

“Right.” He cleared his throat as he backed away from your frozen body and he clutches the knob of the door. “YN, please —“

“My… lips are sealed.” You breathe, knowing very well that you two had committed into something that has ultimately ruin someone’s trust and happiness.

“Thanks.” He opens the door and turns around. However, before he leaves, he turns to you and you can see a sense of sadness in his visage. “N — Nothing has changed, hasn’t it?”

The tears began building up in your eyes because you knew perfectly well what he was talking about.

Even six months later, you two were hopelessly in love with each other.

“Not one single bit.”

↪ Please stay tuned for the next part!

[gemlinz]

Fulcrum ch. 2 - a Working Relationship (Levi x f!Reader)

Summary: It was a cruel world, she knew. She also knew better than to ask for more than her lot: being a full time barmaid and a part time thief. She helped where she could, bitterly accepted where she could not. Feared the monsters lurking outside the walls.  But still - being near him, taking in his strength, his resolve - she couldn't help but hope for more. For herself. For him. For humanity.

Warnings: Swearing, Non-con Groping | CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 |

Read on A03

It turns out “great things” amounted to digging up whatever dirt F/N could on the filthy rich.  It wasn’t particularly difficult - the rich and powerful had plenty they were trying to hide.  Their status granted them an inflated sense of security - and she exploited it to the fullest.  Six months she had been thwarting the nobilities best efforts to gut the Survey Corp funding.

Her latest mark had left his dirty laundry splayed across his desk; literally. F/N watched from her perch as the honorable Judge Forge pulled out of his mistress and tucked himself back into his pants.

Grimacing in disgust, F/N double checked the description of the woman against her sources - it was definitely Avery Lynch, daughter of Adam Lynch - a representative from Wall Rose and very influential in the courts.

Mission completed, then.  Honestly, mission completed 15 minutes ago when the pair stumbled into the judges office trying to eat each others face, but she needed to wait until the guards shift changed - which left her with another 30 minute wait.

Shifting uncomfortably at the bark digging into her back, the young thief-turned-spy opened her notebook to pen her report.  Apparently Erwin was a stickler for them - verbal communication of any pertinent information was avoided where they could.

F/N wondered if it had to do with the errand boy he sent back and forth.  Did Erwin not trust him to get the information right?  Or, more nefariously, was he worried he’d tamper with it?   She sure as shit wouldn’t put it past the runt. Her nose still throbbed in phantom pain every time she saw him.

She finished her report just as the sun began to set, tucking the sealed letter into her waistband. 

Slipping down from the tree, she quietly made her way to the perimeters of the grounds, melting into the surrounding forest.

It still boggled her mind that these nobles had so much room - they could fit a farm to feed 100 people here.  The wound of injustice, slightly scabbed over, still itched and the more she was around these pigs the more she scratched at it.  If Erwin didn’t make good on his promise soon, she wouldn’t be able to stand it much longer.

Exiting the wall of trees behind an old tea shop, she brushed off the dirt from her dark cloak and made for the pub.  Irritable as she was, she wasn’t looking forward to a full shift behind the bar.

Walking through the familiar streets, she thought back to Avery Lynch and how fucked she was;  from what she could tell, the girl was half the judge’s age.  Barely legal, definitely not smart enough to realize the consequences of her actions.  If Judge Forge didn’t do whatever it was Erwin wanted, the poor girls life would be over.

It was unlikely the Judge wouldn’t comply though.  The implications would end his career overnight.  F/N wouldn’t lose any sleep over that.

Finally at the pub, she entered through the back door, still paranoid about homicidal assholes sneaking in behind her.

Louis greeted her almost right away, wiping a glass with a towel.

She still felt the sharp bite of betrayal when around him, but F/N had no real choice but to trust him. He was both her employer and landlord - not to mention the things he knew about her could get her hanged.

He was also her only friend.

“There you are. We’re swamped tonight,”  He began, “And your admirer is back, sat him in his regular corner.  Nice and secluded for the two of you.” Winking the man walked back out to the rowdy front, patrons already many drinks deep, even at the early hour.

Rolling her eyes, F/N pulled her apron off the hook, tying it off at her waist.  Taking a deep breath, she followed him out.

“I prefer my men less abusive, Louis,” She murmured only low enough for him to hear as she passed him, checking the board to see which table was sat first.  She hadn’t meant it to come out so harshly, but she saw him flinch slightly in guilt.

Knowing better than to approach her contact right away, she waited her tables like normal, charming her patrons into larger tips.

In the beginning, the idea of conducting business in the pub worried her. Mixing her two lives like that went against everything she had been taught.  You don’t shit where you sleep.  But Erwin had insisted, and Louis encouraged it, so she had no choice but to comply, as much as it set her on edge.  Apparently it was less suspicious for someone as recognized as “Humanity's Strongest Soldier” to be seen publicly and not in some dark alley.

In reality, her weekly meetings with Levi weren’t as awful as she first had first thought.  Sure, there was still a healthy dose of fear and caution on her part - the man had threatened to kill her, multiple times.  But as far as the bars regulars went, he was significantly more tolerable.

For one, he never seemed to drink - alcohol that is.  She’d admonish his lack of forethought at how suspicious it looks being the only sober one at a pub , but every week he proved her wrong with the confident stoicism he displayed calmly sipping away at his tea.  No one questioned him, or even paid him a second glance.

F/N for her part did her best to treat him like any other patron, with the addition of occasionally slipping him secret reports that would get them both executed if discovered.

That’s not to say she enjoyed his visits. Treating him like a regular patron also meant trying to start small talk - trying in that he shot down most of her attempts with one word answers or outright silence.  The only time she had been able to get more than a few words out of him was the night he had stayed until just before closing, about three months after their operation began.

Louis had already called it a night, and F/N was waiting on the last of their customers to finish up, getting a head start on cleaning.  Levi had critiqued how she was wiping down the tables.  Once she got over her shock, she had laughed at him, claiming that the alcohol on them killed any germs and anyone coming into this bar didn’t typically give a crud about a little stickiness.

He had tsked at her and launched into a rant about the benefits of a clean establishment for an hour.  She would have been more annoyed at the tirade if he hadn't used that time to also demonstrate his suggestions by deep cleaning the bar.

They finished closing the pub much later than normal, but she couldn’t find it in her to complain when she somehow tricked this runt into doing her job for her.

After that, every so often he would stay past close to clean the bar.  She was eventually able to decipher by the tension in his shoulders when he would be staying.  Wherever she noticed the signs, she began kicking people out just a bit earlier; they were too drunk to notice, and she fancied getting to sleep at a normal time.

Levi never talked except to criticize her own efforts, before he moved to do it himself.  F/N was no saint - she took full advantage. 

He either didn’t notice or didn't mind.

Today didn’t seem to be a bad day for him, glancing at him as she darted from table to table.  He looked relaxed - or, as relaxed as he ever looked.  He didn’t wear his uniform but instead a dark suit, complete with his signature cravat.

After helping three tables, she made for where he sat.  Not three steps in, the door opened to the front, and a group of three MPs strolled in.  They were in uniform but already deep in their drink, if their volume was anything to go by.  

Drunks she was used to coming in - but not once had the Military Police visited this bar.  It was far from the barracks and more importantly, too low class.  Her regulars weren’t usually locals, but those who worked in Mitras and stopped in to forget whatever shit they were made to do that day.

Briefly meeting her contacts' grey eyes, she forced a smile before turning to shout over her shoulder to the newcomers, “Seat yourselves and I’ll be right over!” Not missing the greasy smiles shot her way from the group, she continued to Levi’s table.

“Friends of yours?” She said around a smile, tucking her hair behind her ear to better eye the group. 

“Hn. I’ll have a Black tea, thanks.”  He said with no inflection.  Confused, she could only play along.

“Ok?  I’ll go...get that then.”  When her confusion went unanswered, she made for behind the bar to apparently brew some tea.  Louis shot her a look, apparently just as lost as she was.  Was it just a coincidence, or were they already compromised?

Her mind raced with where she went wrong, moving mechanically.

The MPs sat themselves by the door, khaki jackets thrown on the back of their chairs.  She couldn’t avoid going over there for any longer without looking suspicious.  As the tea steeped, she made her way towards them, swallowing her building panic.

“Hello gentlemen, what can I get for you tonight?”  She asked, saccharine sweet even as she shook inside.

“Hmm, well I know what I want,” He slurred, salaciously looking her up and down, “but I don't think it's on the menu, sweetheart.”  The oldest one cackled, the stench of alcohol noticeable even inside the bar.  She pictured breaking a bottle over his head, but kept her smile up.

It had been awhile since she had been met with such boldness;  the patrons had been fairly well behaved recently.  Maybe it was the new cleaning regime. It’s tough to be filthy in a place where you could now literally eat off the floor.

“Shut up Stewart, you old pervert.”  His friend elbowed him, saving her from replying.  Mr. Chivalrous didn’t seem to want to look up from her chest, however.  He seemed only slightly more sober.  “We’ll both have an ale.”

“Make that three.”  The last MP grunted out.  The most sober of the three of them, he didn’t look at her at all when he ordered - his eyes were fixed to a point behind her.

Where Levi was sitting.

Shit.

“Three ales, coming right up!”  She chirped, fighting her flight instinct and walking away at what she was pretty sure was a normal pace.

Heading back behind the bar, her eyes searched for Levi’s, but apparently whatever was on the table was more pressing than the actual military fucking police in her pub, tonight of all nights.

Tea finished, she walked back over to him as slowly as she could manage, all but throwing it onto the table, eyebrows raised in panicked inquiry.

Not meeting her gaze, he used his sleeve to wipe the edge of the cup clean - the asshole - and took a tentative sip.

Grimacing, he finally met her look.

“This is fucking disgusting.”  He stated and F/N was sure she was about to strangle him.

“Well, sir , this is a bar.”  She said around her teeth, sticky sweet smile still in place, “Tea isn’t exactly what we’re known for.”  And it was good enough for you every other night, jerk.

“Make me another one.”  He demanded, pushing the cup away from him.

He was dead.  She was going to murder him.  Fuck Erwin, this shrimp had it coming.

At her silence, he looked back up at her with an eyebrow raised.

The look in his eyes however gave her pause - something was up.  F/N had no choice but to follow his lead.

Steaming, she snatched the cup from him, not even wincing when some of the hot liquid splashed over onto her fingers.

“Fine.”  She bit out, heading back to the bar, noisily dumping the mug into the sink and setting the water back onto boil.

Pouring out three glasses of ale, she made her way back over to what was now the rowdiest table in the pub - the MPs.

As she walked over, she noticed that even though they were supposedly in varying states of drunkenness, all three were casting surreptitious glances at Levi.

Placing their drinks on the table seemed to snap them out of it, redirecting their attention back to her.  Skillfully dodging their wandering hands, she shot them a smile and walked away to finish making Mr. Precious his tea.

Not sure what she was meant to do differently, she walked back to his table with it, brewed in the same manner as the last one.  The asshole needed to stop making a scene while they were surrounded by the ene-

Something caught on her foot and she stumbled forward, the tea filled mug flying out of her hand and…

Spilling all over Levi.

The entire bar froze at the commotion and all eyes were on the two of them.

“I-” she started, horrified - not only was this not conducive to what was meant to be a clandestine meeting, she was genuinely scared at the murderous look in his eyes.  Not too long ago, he had held a blade to her throat.

Louis came up beside her, clearing his throat.

“So sorry about that, sir.”  The older man mediated, “She can be a bit of a klutz, you see.  F/N, take this young man to the back and get him properly cleaned up.  I’ll take care of the spill here.”

Nodding, realization was slowly dawning on her.  This was the perfect opportunity to get him her report away from the watchful eyes of the MPs. 

As she led him to the back however, it dawned on her that he had orchestrated this by deliberately tripping her.  Once they were through the doorway and out of sight from the main bar room, she turned to make her displeasure known, loudly.

She flinched back when he held one hand up to her mouth to keep her quiet, pulling her in by her arm with his other.

“Not here.”  He whispered, nodding towards the back door leading the alley before pulling her along behind him.

What a perfect place to commit murder, she thought darkly, glaring at the back of his stupid head.

As the door closed behind them, they both cast looks up and down the alley - they were alone.

“How did they find us?”  She started immediately, “Are we compromised?  If they know about the bar, I need to let Louis know.”

He shook his head.

“They didn’t find us, they found me.”  He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, “The info you’ve been giving us has resulted in unprecedented wins for the Corp - other branches are starting to get suspicious.”  

“So they just guessed?” 

“Yeah, looks like - I don’t think they suspect you yet, their eyes were on me the entire time.  Trying to see if I was meeting anyo-”

“Someone's coming.”  She interrupted in a rush, hearing footsteps.

Levi cursed, eyes darting for an easy exit - when he didn’t find one, his eyes turned back to her, calculating.

Too quick for her to follow, he grabbed her.  Hands rough, he twisted F/N around and slammed her face first into the wall, crowding in behind her.  One of his hands tangled in the hair above her neck, and he forced his knee between her legs.

“Get off!”  She yelled, struggling against his hold.

He didn’t let up, and she cursed at him, trying to push off the wall.  He slammed her back down, none too gently.  She was effectively pinned.

“Keep struggling,” He leaned in to breathe into her ear, voice a whisper, “In a second, nod, say ok.  Pretend I’m threatening you.  Force some tears, if you can.”

You are threatening me she wanted to say, feeling as helpless as she did that night six months ago when they first met.  Tear’s weren’t that hard to come by as his front pressed against her back, rough brick digging into her cheek.  

“Nod.”  He commanded again in that harsh whisper, as the footsteps stopped at the end of the alley.

She did, wincing as the motion pulled against the hold he had on her hair.

“O-ok.”  She sniffled, eyes watery.

When nothing happened, Levi shoved his thigh up to meet the apex of her own at the same time he leaned in to bury his face in her neck, able to use her to hide his look at the end of the alley.

All three MPs stood at the end, two barely holding themselves upright.

“Bah - he's just fucking the whore from the bar.”  One of them said, waving at the pair, “Lucky asshole.”

Both Levi and F/N looked up, as if just noticing the newcomers.

Levi scowled.

“The fuck do you three want?”  He deadpanned, “Find your own, this one owes me for making a mess of my clothes.”

One of them - Stewart, she remembered him called - guffawed.

“Guess the rumors are true - you are a clean freak.”  He took a step forward, threateningly, “But that doesn’t seem fair to the poor missy, now does it?”

“Ah Stewart, don’t be jealous, let him have his fun,” His friend spoke up, “Survey Corp needs all the charity it can get.”

Levi grit his teeth as the two bickered, seemingly forgetting about him and the woman he currently had pinned.

Only his steel nerves stopped him from jumping when she grabbed his free hand, on the side facing away from the MPs.  F/N led his hand up her waist, passed her hips and then under her shirt.

Eyebrows raised high, he tried to guess at her intentions, but his mind had gone blank.  She pressed down on his hand and he braced himself to feel her the warm skin of her stomach - but felt the rough texture of paper instead.

The report.

He hid his smirk in her hair.

Eyeing the MPs and realizing they had all but forgotten about the two of them, he lifted it from her waist band and tucked it into his coat - besides the two of them, none were any the wiser.

The argument at the end of the alley was turning more lewd than his patience allowed, so he released her and shoved off the wall with a loud “Tsk.”  

“You shitheads ruined whatever mood there was.”  He walked up to them, pausing until F/N recovered and scurried back inside, the sound of the door locking behind her.  “Fuck out of my way.”

“The hell did you say to me, you little runt!?”  Stewart slurred, indignant, “I’ll kick your ass, punk!”

He attempted a swing at Levi, but missed so badly he stumbled over his own feet and fell on his face.

Cradling his broken nose, the fallen MP tried to stifle the flow of blood. Levi scoffed and walked out of the alley, eyes challenging the other two.  Neither seemed keen on avenging their friend.

Once out of sight, Levi walked a few blocks before doubling back.  It was unlikely the shitheads had gone back into the bar, but he couldn’t risk the Corps asset falling into their hands.

Approaching the pub, the MPs were nowhere in sight.  Through the window, he could see F/N behind the bar, slinging drinks and smiles at her regulars, as if she hadn’t just been assaulted.

Satisfied, he made his way back to barracks to deliver Erwin her latest findings.

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - S.S. XV

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Prologue - S2E1 Part 1 - S2E2 + S2E3 Part 2 - S2E4 + S2E5 + S2E6 Part 3 -  S2E7 +S2E8 Part 4 - S2E9 + S2E10 Part 5 - S2E11 + S2E12 Part 6 Part 7 - S3AE1 Part 8 - S3AE2 + S3AE3 Part 9 - S3AE4 Part 10 - S3AE5 + S3AE6 Part 11 - S3AE7 + S3AE8 Part 12 - S3AE9 + S3AE10 + S3AE11 Part 13 - S3AE11 + S3AE12 Part 14 Part 15 - S3BE1 + S3BE2

Word-count: 4.5k+

A/N: sir, that is my emotional support cora hale and she will not be leaving for south america any time soon. also here’s the link to my playlist that no one asked for

(double also swearing seems to be becoming a habit in these? there’s one near the beginning of this part) 

Showering used to be the best part about getting ready for school. Once you dragged yourself out of bed, showering was the perfect way to wake up and warm yourself up before confronting whatever was outside the bathroom door. You could put your brain on autopilot and just breathe. Now you hated it. 

Autopilot now meant daydreams of you turning into some monster and killing your friends. In one of them, you pretty sure you ate someone on the lacrosse team. Not exactly something you want to be thinking about at six o’clock in the morning - or ever. Luckily, the universe seemed to sense your stress levels this morning and let you have your shower in peace. 

You stepped out and wrapped a towel around yourself before wiping away the steam that collected on the mirror. You frowned when you saw your reflection. Something wasn’t right. Something hadn’t felt right in the shower, but you figured no daydreams meant nothing weird. 

You leaned over the sink to get a better look. Your skin was fine. Your eyes were the same. You still had all your hair. But then you saw it. Two white protrusions sticking out of your mouth. Gingerly, you lifted your upper lip with your hands and there they were. Fucking fangs. 

You didn’t know what to do. It’s not like you’d been bitten or anything. How could you have gotten them? Why now when it wasn’t even a full moon? Were you cursed? Was it- 

“Hey, are you done yet?” Cora banged on the door as she spoke. You got such a fright that you jumped and dropped your towel. “The guys need to shower and I have to get to school early to study for-” 

“Yeah- yeah, I’ll be right out,” you shouted back, crouching down to pick up your towel. How were you going to explain this to them? 

Only … when you looked back in the mirror they were gone. You had nothing to explain to anyone. Your friends could live out the rest of this year in peace, and all you had to do was not mention the fact that you were seeing things. 

---

“God, is it always this bright out?” you mumbled as you got out of Cora’s car. Isaac had driven with - which meant you’d squished into the backseat - so getting out was more of an ordeal. 

“We live in California,” Isaac said. “It’s usually brighter out.” 

You rolled your eyes and slammed the car door in frustration. The noise was way too loud and you winced, but the others didn’t seem to notice. They were walking ahead. 

“You coming?” Cora asked, turning to look at you. She looked concerned. 

“Yeah, I just need to talk to Stiles about something.” It was a cheap lie, but the only one you could think of when you saw the Jeep pull in. “I’ll catch up with you later.” 

You waited until they were gone and started walking in the other direction. Down the stairs. Past the laughing teenagers. Away from the gushing water fountain. Far from the guys playing soccer that were not only yelling but making your head throb every time they kicked the ball.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Stiles caught your arm and you stopped and stared at him. You just noticed how frantic your breathing was. And that you were on the opposite end of the school. “Are you alright?” 

“I-” You didn’t know how to answer. You nodded and Stiles tilted his head to the left. 

“Y/N, are you alright?” he repeated. The places where he held onto your arms felt like they were burning. “It’s happening to me too.” 

You stared at him, refusing to believe that he was going through the same thing. He was fine. “No, it’s not.” 

“Nightmares?” Stiles asked. “Seeing things? Panic attacks?”

“Stiles, you can’t …” You trailed off when you saw Lydia and Allison walking over to you. In the quietest voice you could manage, you rushed out, “How do you know?” 

“Because it’s happening to all three of you,” Lydia said simply as they joined the group. 

“Where’s Scott?” Allison asked. “We should talk.” 

You guys found Scott but there was no way you’d have enough time to talk things through unless you skipped first period. An idea that Stiles was advocating for, despite your protests that you had a test first period.

“Well, well, well,” Lydia hummed as you walked through the school doors. “Look who’s no longer the crazy one.”

“We’re not crazy,” Allison told her.

Lydia spun around and looked at the three of you. “Hallucinating? Sleep paralysis? Yeah, you guys are fine.”

“You did die and come back to life,” Scott said. “That’s gotta have side effects, right?” 

You were about to answer when the bell rang. You covered your ears. It had been so loud the past few days. They were all staring at you when you pulled your hands away so you started talking before they could. 

“I’ve gotta go. English is on the other side of this building and I don’t want to be late.” 

---

“Maybe you guys just need a little more time to get back to normal,” Scott said hopefully. 

You were standing by his and Stiles’ lockers, and the only reason you were there was because you didn’t want it to look like you were avoiding them. Which you were. But they didn’t need to know that. 

“Yeah, try not to forget that we hit the reset button on a supernatural beacon for supernatural creatures,” Stiles said as he put in his combination for his lock. It was taking him longer than usual. “There’s a pretty good chance of things never going back to normal.” 

Stiles started shaking his lock and staring at the numbers on the dial. You reached over and put your hands around it. “Here. Let me try?” 

He didn’t say anything but he moved out of your way. You could feel him watching you as you put the combination in. You glanced at Scott to see why he was so quiet but he was staring down the hallway at something. Or someone. The new girl.

“There,” you said once the lock clicked into place. You smiled at him but he was still staring at the lock. You reached out and touched his arm. He jumped. “Hey, you okay?” 

“Fine.” You both knew it was a lie. Your phone beeped before you could say anything. 

“Uh, Cora says Lydia and Allison are going into the woods,” you said after reading the text. “She’s following them to make sure nothing happens.” 

“Yeah, that’s great,” Scott said. You didn’t even know he’d zoned back into the conversation. “We’re all keeping an eye on one another, right?” 

“Something like that,” Stiles mumbled as he grabbed his books from his locker. He shut the door and you recoiled slightly. They didn’t seem to notice, and you lied about needing to be somewhere before they could.

---

“The arrow almost went right through Lydia’s skull,” Cora finished. 

The four of you were in your room talking about what had been happening since the night you, Stiles, and Allison sacrificed yourselves for your parents. One of the perks of living together was that it made secret conversions so much easier to have.

“Why was she aiming at Lydia?” you asked, curling your legs up to your chest.

“She said she saw her aunt,” Cora said with a slightly exasperated expression. 

“Whatever’s happening to you guys is getting worse,” Isaac said. He looked over at you and you pretended not to notice. 

“Yeah, I kinda got that.” The words were harsh and you closed your eyes, frustrated. Scott rubbed your back to calm you down. 

“Stiles is getting worse, too,” he said. “So, Y/N … is it getting worse for you?” 

“Yes,” Cora answered for you. 

You glared at her. “You said you wouldn’t tell!” 

“That was before Allison tried to kill Lydia. Which would have worked, by the way, if I wasn’t there to stop it,” she said. She gave you a sympathetic smile. “This is bigger than us now.” 

“So what’s happening?” Scott asked. 

“Well, you guys know about the nightmares,” you said softly. “But they’re getting worse. They’re happening when I’m awake. And everything is … too much. I don’t know how to explain it. Stiles closed his locker earlier and it felt like my head was going to explode it was so loud.” 

“And you complained about the light,” Isaac added. 

“Sensory overload,” Scott said. “I had it when I turned.” 

“But I haven’t been bitten!” 

“But you live with the three of us,” Cora started. “It could be your brain trying to warn you to … to protect yourself. If you’re afraid of being turned.” 

You looked down. You’d never spoken about it with Scott but he knew you wanted to stay human, and you freaked out when Isaac tried to get Derek to turn you. It wasn’t that big of a stretch to believe that you were afraid. 

“I don’t know,” you said eventually. “But I think we should talk to Deaton.”

“Seconded,” Isaac said. 

“Third.”

You looked at Scott and for a second he just looked tired. He must have been exhausted by dealing with this practically every day since his sophomore year. 

“I’ll take you after school,” he said, smiling at you. “You guys should get some sleep. Sounds like we’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.”

---

“Okay, so we just have to figure out what happens to a person who almost dies and wakes up hearing and feeling things that they shouldn’t be able to hear and feel,” you said. “Simple.”

“And is unable to tell what’s real or not,” Stiles added. 

You were sitting in between him and Scott, and he was bouncing his leg so much that he was shaking the bench. You reached out and put your hand on his knee. He stopped almost instantly. 

“And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives,” Allison finished. She seemed just as on edge as you and Stiles.

“They’re all locked up because they’re all insane,” Isaac said, not even looking up from whatever he was writing. Cora hit his arm. 

“Can you at least try to be helpful?” Stiles asked. “Please?”

“For half my childhood I was locked in a freezer,” Isaac started. “So being helpful is kind of a new thing for me.”

“Dude, are you still milking that?” Stiles asked. 

“Yeah, maybe I am still milking that, Stiles.” 

You took your hand off Stiles’ knee and placed it on his chest, and extended your other hand to touch Isaac’s arm. “Okay, we get it. You’re tragically scarred but can we please get back to-” 

You fell quiet when the girl Scott had been staring at yesterday walked up to the table. 

“Hi,” she smiled. She was nervous. “Hi, sorry. I couldn’t help overhearing what you guys were talking about. And I think I actually might know what you’re talking about.” 

You all exchanged nervous glances. 

“There’s a Tibetan word for it,” she went on, “It’s called ‘Bardo.’ It literally means ‘in-between state.’ The state between life and death.”

“And what do they call you?” Lydia asked. Her words were nonthreatening enough but her tone told a different story.

“Kira,” Scott answered. She smiled at him. “She’s in our History class.” 

“So are you talking Bardo in Tibetan Buddhism or Indian?” Lydia asked, still on the offensive. 

“Either, I guess.” Kira sat down next to Stiles and you all shuffled over to make room for her. “But all the stuff you guys were just saying? All that happens in Bardo. There are different progressive states where you can have hallucinations. Some you see, some you just hear. And you can be visited by peaceful and wrathful deities.”

“Wrathful deities?” Cora repeated. “What kinds?”

“Demons,” Kira answered. 

“Oh, demons,” Stiles echoed. He looked over at you and pulled a face. “Yeah, why not?”

“Hold on,” Allison started. “If there are different progressive states, then what’s the last one?”

“Death,” Kira said simply. “You die.” 

You all fell silent. 

“Well, thanks for your help,” you smiled. “That really helps us with our mystery RPG.” 

“Your mystery RPG?” Kira repeated slowly, sounding confused. 

“It’s a new thing,” Stiles said. “Very exclusive.” 

---

“It sounds like your subconscious is trying to communicate with you,” Deaton said after Scott and Stiles told him what happened during Econ. You didn’t realize that things had gotten so bad for him. 

“Well, how do I tell my subconscious to use a language that I actually know?” Stiles asked. 

“Do you remember what the sign language looked like?” Deaton asked. “The placement and the movement of the hands?” 

“You know sign language?” Scott asked. He seemed impressed. 

“I know a little,” Deaton smiled. “Let me give it a shot.” 

“Okay, the first one was like this.” Stiles held out his index finger and used his other hand to circle it. 

“That’s ‘when.’”

“Then there was this-” He put his two hands together and moved his right hand towards him ‘-Twice.” 

“That’s ‘door.’”

“With this in between.” He closed his hand and put his thumb to his chin, pulling down away from himself. 

“That’s it?” Deaton asked. Stiles nodded. “When is a door not a door?” 

“When is a door not a door?” Stiles repeated. 

“When it’s ajar,” Scott said quietly. It gave you goosebumps. It reminded you of the dream you had weeks ago.

“You’re kidding me,” Stiles said. “A riddle? My subconscious wants to tell me a riddle?”

“Not necessarily,” Deaton said. “When the three of you went under the water, when you crossed from the unconsciousness to a kind of ‘superconsciousness’ … You essentially opened a door in your minds.” 

“What do you mean?” you asked. You crossed your arms over yourself. “Our doors are still open?”

“Ajar,” Deaton nodded.

“A door into our minds?” Stiles asked. 

“I did tell you it was risky,” Deaton said.

“What do we do about it?” Scott asked. 

“Well, that’s difficult to answer,” Deaton sighed. 

“Wait a second, I know that look,” Stiles said. “That’s the ‘we know exactly what’s wrong with you, but we have no idea how to fix it’ look.” 

“One thing I do know is that having an opening like that into your mind … it’s not good. You each need to close that door,” Deaton said. “And you need to do it as soon as possible.”

“I, uh-” you scratched your head. “I had a dream. A little while ago. I was sleeping and … and my door was open. I went to close it and-” You looked at Stiles. You couldn’t admit that you dreamt about him. “And Cora told me not to. She started out really nice but she changed. She didn’t want me to close the door.” 

“I had a dream like that too,” Stiles said quietly. “I went through the door.” 

You shook your head. “I slammed it shut.” 

“But you’re still having hallucinations?” Deaton asked. 

You nodded. 

He took another breath. “This can’t be good.” 

---

You and Mel came home with takeout in hand, but something wasn’t right. There was yelling coming from inside the house. You heard Scott telling someone to get out. It couldn’t have been Cora or Isaac; he’d never tell them to leave. 

“I can’t believe that you’d do this to my best friend!” Scott yelled. 

“I’m not doing anything to your friend,” Rafael said, trying to maintain a steady voice. “I’m doing my job.” 

“Your job sucks!”

“Some days, I can’t argue with that.” 

“Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?” Melissa asked as she stepped closer.

“He’s trying to get Stiles’ dad fired,” Scott said, not taking his eyes off your dad. 

“No, that’s not true,” Rafael argued. 

“Then what are you doing?” you asked, crossing your arms and glaring at him.

“Conducting a case for impeachment,” Rafael said.

“That sounds a lot like getting him fired,” Melissa said. 

“The lack of resolution and inability to close cases is what’s getting him fired,” Rafael said. “My job is just to collect the information.” 

“Well, your job sucks!” you snapped. Looking over, you saw that Scott’s claws were starting to come out and you bumped your mom’s hand. She needed to distract Rafael so you could help him. 

“Scott, sweetheart,” Melissa said, moving closer to him. She held his hands, evidently taking the job you wanted. “Calm down. Come with me right now.”

She led Scott out of the room and Rafael looked like he was going to follow, so you started walking to the kitchen and stomping as loud as you could so he had no choice but to follow. 

“Y/N, I’m just doing my job! The job that let me visit all those times when you were at Willow Creek,” he said. “The job that you used to think made me a superhero.”

“Well, maybe now I think it makes you a supervillain,” you said simply. You started unpacking all the food.

He sighed and rubbed his face. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had another option.” 

“Wouldn’t you?” you asked. “You hate Stiles’ dad. I know you do. And you don’t like Stiles either.” 

“I don’t like the relationship he has with you,” Rafael said. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t like him. He’s just a kid.” 

“And what about Stiles’ dad?” 

He got quiet. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” you said. You grabbed the box with your food in it and stormed past him to eat in your room. 

---

“I’m sorry, you took her doll?” you asked. That was honestly the most unbelievable part of what Scott and Stiles were telling you. Nine-year-old girl trapped in coyote form due to trauma? Believable. Stiles getting over his fear of creepy dolls? Not so much. 

“And why didn’t you tell either of us about this?” Cora asked. “We could have helped.” 

“We didn’t know,” Scott said in his ‘everyone play nice’ voice. Cora rolled her eyes. 

“Besides, what do you know about any of this, huh?” Stiles asked. 

“Well, considering that I lived by myself in South America for seven years,” Cora started. “I think I’ve seen a few more things than you have.” 

Stiles gave her a look and was about to say something snippy, so you put your hand on his arm and focused on Scott. 

“Okay, well, what’s the plan?” you asked. “We just go into the woods and … ask her really nicely to turn back into a human?” 

“Alphas can force a change if they’re powerful enough.” Cora looked at Scott, sizing him up. “You haven’t done much with your new powers, have you?” 

“We haven’t really had the time,” Scott admitted. “Can you show me how to do it?” 

“I can try,” Cora said. “It’s not really something you teach. It’s just … something you feel.” 

“Something you feel,” Stiles repeated. “Well, that sounds like a great plan, but you’ll understand if we talk to Deaton first, right?” 

“Actually, that would make me feel a lot better,” Cora said, looking away for a moment as she took a breath. 

Stiles looked like he immediately regretted being so snippy before. He mumbled an apology.

“So let’s all meet there after school, okay?” you said. 

You were anxious pretty much the rest of the day, and the light was bothering you more than usual. You knew it was because of this whole Malia thing, but you couldn’t stop the feelings that were coming over you. By the time Deaton came back with xylazine, you’d uncrossed and recrossed your arms several times and knocked over one of the displays in the waiting area. 

“It’s a tranquilizer for horses,” Deaton explained. “For a werecoyote, expect it to work within seconds. I only have three so whoever’s shooting needs to be a damn good shot.”

“Allison’s a perfect shot,” Scott said. 

“She used to be,” Cora pointed out. 

“She can do it,” Scott insisted. 

“If we manage to find the thing,” Isaac said. 

“Okay, what is the point of them?” Stiles asked, pointing at Isaac and Cora. “Aside from the persistent negativity and gross PDA?” 

The two of them smiled at one another and Stiles groaned in response. 

“They’re here because they’re the only supernatural backup we’ve got,” you said. “And because they bring up things that we don’t want to think about.” 

“Yeah, like ‘how do we turn a coyote back into a girl, when she hasn’t been a girl for eight years?’” Isaac said.

“Actually, Scott and I spoke about that one,” Cora said. “He’s gotta trust his instincts. Let the alpha take over.” 

“But this is a werecoyote,” Deaton pointed out. “Who’s to say that it will even work if Scott can find it in himself to do it?” 

“I can do it,” Scott said. He nodded, trying to get himself to believe it. 

“We need a real alpha,” Stiles said. “You know what I mean! An alpha who can do alpha things. You know, an alpha who can get it going. You know, get it …” 

“Up?” Isaac suggested. 

Cora cleared her throat next to you and tried not to laugh. You focused on not throwing up.

“Great,” Scott said. “So I’m an alpha with performance issues.”

“You’ll be fine,” you said and rubbed his back. 

“What about the twins?” he asked. “Cora can’t teach me because she’s never been an alpha but they …” 

“They’re not alphas anymore,” Deaton said. “After what Jennifer did - almost killing them? It broke that part of them.” 

“Besides, no one’s seen them since whatever happened at the ice skating rink,” you said. You didn’t want to work with the twins again. 

“Well actually, that’s, uh, not totally true,” Stiles said. You gave him a look. “Lydia’s been …” 

“Ew. I don’t wanna know.” You pulled a face. You loved her but she had the worst taste in guys. “Okay, well, you guys are doing that on your own. Call me when it’s time to find Malia.”

---

You and Cora got out of the Porsche just as everyone else pulled up to the preserve. None of you spoke to each other but you all exchanged some pretty significant looks. Not only was changing Malia risky, but something was wrong in those the woods. You could feel it.

“Anyone else think we might be doing more harm than good?”  Lydia asked, effectively summing up your thoughts on the matter. 

“We’re trying to keep a father from killing his own daughter,” Scott said. 

“Actually, we’re trying to keep a guy from killing a coyote,” Isaac corrected, “Who is actually his daughter, who we don’t know how to change from a coyote back to his daughter.”

“And again with the not helping,” Stiles said from where he was leaning on the Jeep.

“Okay, let’s just-” you sighed and ran a hand through your hand. “Let’s split up, okay? I’ll take Cora, and Isaac will make sure Allison takes okay. Stiles and Lydia will stay here in case anything happens.” 

“Who do I go with?” Scott asked. 

“Malia,” you said. “That’s a pretty important part of this plan.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Scott said sheepishly. “Right.” 

You rolled your eyes but pulled back when you heard a gunshot. Scott got back on his bike and immediately started charging into the woods, with Isaac right behind him. You and Cora took off after them and Allison wasn’t too far behind. 

Another gunshot. 

You weren’t sure where everyone was, but at least you and Cora were together. Until something happened to Isaac. His scream echoed through the woods and you covered your ears. Cora hesitated, not wanting to leave you alone but clearly worried about Isaac. 

“Go,” you told her. “You’re faster than me. I’ll catch up.”

She nodded and took off. 

You took a shaky breath and kept going until you stepped on something hard and smooth. The rest of the woods was mulchy and uneven. Slowly, you looked down and took out your phone. 

“Hey, Stiles.” Your voice didn’t sound like it usually did. In fairness, you weren’t usually stuck in a bear trap. “I’m a little stuck, can you come help me?” 

You heard Lydia yelling at Stiles not to leave her alone, but soon he was running up to you. 

“Oh, my god. What happened?” he asked. He held onto your shoulders while he checked to make sure you were okay. 

“I’m standing on a trap,” you said. “If I move, it’s going to snap shut. And I don’t know if you heard Isaac’s scream when he stepped in one of these but-” 

“That’s not gonna happen to you. Alright?” Stiles said. “I’m not gonna let that happen to you.”

“I don’t know how to get out of this thing,” you rushed out. “Do you?” 

“No, but I mean…” he took a breath. “It can’t be that hard, right?” 

You choked out a laugh as he knelt down to inspect the trap. Your hands were shaking. 

“So good news is there’s a warning label on the side here,” Stiles said. “Bad news is that I can’t read.” 

“You can’t read,” you repeated. Stiles nodded and you took another breath. “Okay, that’s not- that’s not a problem. Take a deep breath. You can figure this out, Stiles. You’re the smartest person I know. You can do this.” 

“Y/N, I don’t know if I can,” Stiles said softly. “I think we should wait for the others.” 

“Stiles, there isn’t time for that.” Your voice was small and strained. You felt like you were about to cry. “I know you can do this, okay? I believe in you.” 

It took him a few moments but he moved some of the shrubbery and looked at the trap more closely. He found what you guessed was a release valve. He told you to move your leg out as fast as you could when he turned it. 

“Okay, are you ready?” he asked. You nodded. “Here we go.”

He cranked the dial and you leaped to the side, off-balance and clumsy. The trap closed shut at about the same time that you landed on top of Stiles, knocking him down to the ground. You laughed and moved a leaf out of his hair. 

“Thank you,” you whispered. You were so close that you felt him shaking underneath you. 

“Yeah, anytime,” he said breathlessly. His heart was pounding in his chest. Were you making him nervous? “Besides, you know I’m a leg man.” 

You laughed and pushed yourself up into a seated position. You held out a hand for Stiles to get up. “Shut up, Stilinski.” 

“What? I’m just-” 

A low growl rang out through the woods and you shared a look. You laughed again at the ridiculousness of the situation and Stiles laughed with you. 

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” he cheered. “He totally got it up!”

“Okay, that’s just gross.” You pulled a face. “He’s still my brother.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. That crossed a line. Definitely crossed a line”

Part 16

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Cynophobia

or: Bessie goes OFF

TW: Shaming, panic attacks

———————

        Naturally, Maggie had been curious when she heard an uproar of coos and squeals coming from the stage. She quickly fixed her costume (as it was another dress rehearsal day) and headed up to see what the commotion was all about.

She quickly regretted it.

Cleves was beaming, being surrounded by the other queens. This was because she was holding a dog in her arms. It was a husky and was a little big, but that didn’t stop Cleves from picking it up like it was a toy poodle. To any other person, it’s face was absolutely adorable, but to Maggie it was horrifying.

Jane was the one who heard the tight whimper and turned her head towards the noise. Maggie was frozen a few feet away, eyes bulging in their sockets.

   “You can come pet him.” Jane smiled warmly at her.

“He doesn’t bite!” Cleves added while her dog licked all over Katherine’s face.

Maggie begged to differ. Those teeth were getting way too close to the youngest queen’s cheeks and eyes.

   “N-no thanks.” She stuttered.

   “How come?” Anne pried, as nosy as ever.

   “I-I don’t-“ Maggie’s ears burned a little, “I don’t like dogs.”

   “WHAT?!”

Jane and Aragon were the only ones who didn’t yell at what Maggie had said, but the others were now all looking at her like she was insane. She shrunk back a little.

   “What is wrong with you?!” Anne cried and that made Maggie’s heart twist in what almost felt like betrayal. “How could you hate dogs?!”

   “He’s cute,” Parr said at a normal volume, but she wasn’t helping at all.

   “Yeah!” Katherine agreed, “He’s so fluffy and lovable! How could you hate this face?” She squished either sides of the husky’s furry snout and giggled when she was licked again.

All Maggie saw when she looked at that thing was hot drool and hungry eyes and gnashing teeth. She whimpered again, trying to push the thoughts from her mind, but they came rushing back with even more force than before. Another strangled noise escapes her throat and she sees Jane and Aragon exchange worried looks, but they don’t say anything.

   “Wh-why is it here?” Maggie asked, evading the question she had been asked.

   “He,” Parr corrects.

   “And Sasha said I could bring him as long as he behaved. And he is.” Cleves answered. She sets the dog down and Maggie feels her head spin. “See, look at how well trained he is.”

   “I cannot believe you’re afraid of dogs.” Anne said. “Even puppies?”

Maggie hated that she nodded. Red blisters across her face and she’s sure they can all see her embarrassed blush under the brutal stage lights.

   “How?!” Anne asked. “Seriously! That’s absurd.”

   “They’re just big fluffy friends!” Katherine smiled.

   “Here, maybe if you let him sniff you you’ll feel safer.” Cleves said and started walking over.

Maggie backed away, but she hit a wall and felt cornered. She pleaded for Cleves to go away, to get that hell hound away from her, but she wasn’t listening. She just kept trying to coax her out of her fears she now felt humiliated for.

A wet nose pressed against her quaking hand and her entire body tensed. Long seconds passed before, suddenly, the dog rears up and jumped on her, wagging his tail excitedly.

Maggie shrieked. The noise that came out of her mouth was something a woman being murdered would make and she began to sob loudly, screaming and crying in fright.

   “What’s going on?!”

Bessie looked like a storm when she rushed onstage. She saw what was happening and shoved the dog off of Maggie, causing it to topple to its side with a sharp yelp before scrambling to its paws and retreating behind Cleves. Maggie collapses to the floor and curls up into a ball the minute that thing is off of her, sobbing pathetically.

   “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bessie bellowed, giving Cleves a look that could kill. “Can’t you see she’s afraid of dogs?”

The queens are all frozen. They don’t say a word and that pisses Bessie off even more.

   “She was attacked by dogs.” Bessie informed, venom lacing her tone. “It was one of her very first experiences after being reincarnated and you just made her feel like she had no right to be scared. How does that make you feel?”

Nothing. Bessie’s lips contorted into a snarl.

   “I expect nothing less.” She spat.

   “But-“

Bessie’s head snapped around to Katherine, who immediately regretted speaking up. The young queen swallows hard and felt pressured to continue under the bassist’s sharp stare.

   “Not all dogs are vicious.” She said.

   “Well, sweetie,” Bessie purred with thick sarcasm in her voice, “Not all men want to rape you, but you don’t see us shaming you for being afraid of them, now do we?”

Katherine flinched and whimpered softly. Anne snaps out of her shock to step in front of her cousin protectively, glaring at Bessie.

   “What the fuck?” She growled.

   “Doesn’t feel good, does it?” Bessie said.

   “Katherine’s fears are way different than Maggie’s.”

   “Oh, don’t you fucking dare,” Bessie seethed and her eyes practically glow with rage. It makes Anne take a wry step back. “Who fucking cares? You shouldn’t place traumas above others. They all hurt and they all damage the victim, and you have the audacity to say some are worse? That some don’t matter as much because it was a few cute puppies doing the maiming and not a human being?” She scoffed. “I knew you were dumb, Lady Boleyn, but I didn’t realize you were this dumb. It seems that when the sword took away your life, it took away your fucking brain, too.”

Anne’s body went rigid and she quickly backs down. Aragon and Jane attempt to step in, but they just become another target for Bessie’s anger.

   “Don’t even try to defend them.” Bessie snapped, “I thought at least you two were better than this, but I guess I was wrong. You just stood there and let them send her over the edge. I hope you’re real happy with yourselves, mums of the group.”

Aragon and Jane shut their mouths, unable to reply.

   “Listen,” Bessie said, blowing a harsh laugh out of her nose, “We didn’t go through what you six went through, but that doesn’t mean you’re the only who suffered. Who suffers. I know we mean nothing to you, we’re just the band who provides music for your spotlight, but can you at least try to care about people other than yourselves for once?”

She probably would have continued berating the queens if it weren’t for the small whimper she heard from behind her. Bessie turned around and crouched down next to Maggie, who’s still shaking really badly.

   “I’m here, love, I’m here,” Bessie murmured, her voice going from poisonous and wrapped in shards of glass to soft and velvety in a split second. “It’s not going to hurt you anymore, I promise.”

Maggie whimpered again, not coming out from her fetal position.

   “Can you stand?”

Although she really didn’t think she could, Maggie didn’t want to be embarrassed even more by being held (even though she wanted to). So, weakly, she pushed herself to her feet and stumbled off of the stage, with Bessie’s help. The second they were out of eyesight, however, Bessie scoops her up and carries her the rest of the way to the dressing room.

Maggie starts sobbing again the moment they’re alone, clinging tightly to Bessie, even when she’s set down on the couch in the room. She buries her face in Bessie’s chest, trying to listen to her heartbeat to drown out the snarling in her ears.

   “I-it hurts...!” She cried softly, “Bessie, it hurts!”

Her costume was suffocating her, tightening around frail flesh and rubbing the scars raw. She pulled back and started to claw at the fabric desperately. She whined softly when Bessie takes her hands.

   “Breathe, darling, breathe.” Bessie murmured, “Do you want me to take your costume off?”

   “P-please,” Maggie choked, “G-get it off. Please. Hurts...!”

   “Shh, shh,” Bessie hushed. “Just relax for me. I’m taking it off now.”

She was quick to unzip the zipper and tug the sleeves off of Maggie’s shoulders. She gently untangled the costume from her arms, allwoing the cool air to soothe the girl’s stinging skin, which was still scarred from the attack. Claw marks stretched on her stomach and back and thighs, and there were several bites on her arms and shoulders. Simply seeing the sight made Bessie even more angry with the queens downstairs. If they saw this, then surely they would have understood the terror.

   “There you go, sweetie,” Bessie murmured, “It’s off.” She began to rub Maggie’s back gently, being mindful of not touching the scars.

   “Th-thank you,” Maggie croaked, still shivering. Caring less about not having a shirt on, she twisted around and curled back up into Bessie’s arms. She felt safer in the embrace, like no hell hound could touch her with the bassist around.

   “No worries, love,” Bessie said, moving her hand up to stoke Maggie’s hair. “Remember to breathe, alright? I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”

Maggie nodded, cuddling closer into Bessie’s warmth. She stayed like that for a long time until she was only sniffling and hiccuping. Bessie kissed the top of her head before squeezing her shoulder comfortingly.

  “Ready?”

Maggie winced.

   “I...I don’t to stay down there.”

   “We aren’t.” Bessie said and a smile twitched on her lips. “What do you say about ditching rehearsals, picking up some ice cream, going on, and watching that one movie we’ve been saying we would see?”

   “Rear Window?”

Bessie points to her with a snap, grinning wider.

   “That’s the one.”

   “Can we do that?” Maggie asked shyly.

   “Surely we could after what happened.” Bessie said, already picking up their bags, along with Joan and Maria’s, as she was sure they would want to bail, too. “I’ll get changed at home, but why don’t you switch out real quick? I’ll wait for you outside.”

Maggie nodded and quickly got dressed into her normal clothes. She stepped out of the room and walked down the stairs with Bessie.

Maria was griping at the queens in Spanish while Joan watched on with an angry look, as they had heard what was going on and decided to try and finish what Bessie had started. They both perked up when they saw Bessie and Maggie and quickly skittered over.

   “Come on,” Bessie said, handing them their bags. “We’re leaving.”

   “What about rehearsal?” Parr said.

   “Find someone else to play for you for the day.” Bessie replied dismissively. “Surely we’re not that important to you since you felt the need to emotionally harm one of us with no care in the world.” She smiled at their wounded expressions. “Watch what you say next time, queens.”

With that, she turns and strides out of the theater with Maggie tucked protectively under one arm and Maria and Joan following loyally behind her.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Human

A/n: Again not requested but I wanted to do it. Requests are open btw!

WARNINGS: swearing, bangchan being freaking swoon worthy

Member: Bangchan ft. Seungmin (and obviously a couple other members)

Summary: Your friend (we are just gonna call her Irene idfk) had this huge crush on your brother's friend, who you didn't really know that well but you were really chill with everyone and you agreed to help her. Over time you slowly inch yourselves into your brothers friend group, but what happens when feelings go different ways.

Genre: student au, school au, dancer reader!au, fluff, angst towards the end.

Get ready. This is about to be long. Part 2?

(Also I honestly should be writing my next chapter for my fic on quotev or doing hw but I'm doing this instead. Love that.)

_________________________________________

"He is just so cool! Why won't you help me?" Your friend Irene pleaded from her spot on your bed. I lay on my bedroom floor with my legs propped up against the wall. Her long hair fell off the side of my bed as I looked over at my bestfriend since fourth grade.

"I don't even know him!" She sighed, clearly distraught. "He's friends with your little brother, right?" I scoffed. My brother Jeongin had immediately befriended the boy whomst our conversation was about. The boy in question was a senior exchange student at our school named Bangchan, but my brother only referred to him as Chan. "How the hell am I supposed to get him to-" "I'll buy you sushi from the corner store every friday."

"Really?" I flipped over to send her an intense stare. "Really." Irene returned the look with a smile. "Every other day." She looked up in thought, probably imagining her wallet screaming. "Deal!" I scooted over and we did our bestfriend handshake.

"YAH! YANG JEONGIN!" I screamed at my little brother, causing Irene to laugh beside me. "WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?" My brother yelled from what what sounded like downstairs. I heard laughter as well which meant he probably had a couple of the boys over. I motioned for Irene to follow downstairs.

Before we could finish descending the staircase, I stopped in my tracks, causing Irene to bump into me. "Y/n what the hell-- Oh." I could practically hear the smirk in her voice. He sat in my living room looking ironically perfect. The boy who I had painstakingly had a crush on since the fourth grade. My brother sat with him and our friend Jisung on the couch. I still don't understand why he affects me this much. I hang out with him, Jisung, my brother, and our friend Felix all the time.

"Oh, hey Y/n!" Kim Seungmin said with a smile that cause his eyes to crinkle on the sides. "Uh- I- Hi!" Something about him caused me to turn from my usual cool character into a lovesick little girl. The worst part was I didn't mind. "Did you want something, noona?" My brother asked, grabbing my attention again.

"Oh. Yeah, are you guys going to practice tonight?" Seungmin, Felix, and his friend Changbin were all on the football team. The boys would go to all the games and practices to support them and occasionally I would come along (for the view). They nodded and told us they were leaving in about ten minutes. "You mind if we tag along?" Jisung quickly agreed with me and said he would drive us.

"Great! We'll be back in a sec!" I quickly shoved Irene back up the stairs and tossed her a pair of my jeans before trading out my sweatpants for another pair of denim pants. "Why are we going to the practice again?" I threw on a crop top and a light oversized jean jacket. "All of the boys go to support the team. Also I would like an excuse to stare at Seungmin without anyone finding out that I think he is hotter than Minho thinks his reflection is." She chuckled and grabbed a crop hoodie from my closet, knowing I was used to her borrowing my clothes.

The two of us rushed downstairs and got into Jisung's jeep, which he and I often went off roading in after a heavy rain. As we got out of the car, Seungmin came to walk beside me. While he had to leave to get changed, we followed the other boys up into the bleachers and to a pair of boys I vaguely recognized sitting in the middle of the risers. While my brother and Jisung sat next to them, Irene and I sat on the riser below them.

"Chan, Woojin you remember my sister." I looked at the boy my brother identified as Chan and immediately realized why Irene was so infatuated by him as he shook my hand. He was obviously older than us, most likely a fourth year, yet he had this youthful glow about him. He had a bright smile with a cute pair of dimples and fluffy dirty blonde hair. "I'm Y/n and this is my friend, Irene." He smiled at me, his dimples showing as he greeted the both of us. The six of talked as we waited for the team to come out.

"That is the worst name you could possibly have in a high school!" Bangchan laughed. "I'm not lying! My Pre-Cal teacher's name actually is Mrs. Head!" I tried to convince them through laughs that I was indeed telling the truth. "No way!" Irene wiped a tear from her cheek, smiling ear to ear. "The worst part about it is that she's a mouth breather too." With that Jisung laughed so hard he fell backwards between the riser and the ground, effectively causing his butt to become stuck. Everyone but my brother couldn't stop laughing. He just look at us in confusion.

"I don't get it." Jisung leant up about to whisper in my brother's ear. "Hey! Let's save some of his innocence." Chan breathed out between laughs. The coach's whistle sounded and the team came out. We all cheered, but the rest of the group soon went back to their conversation. I however was fixated on player number Six, Seungmin.

"Yeah! Go, Seungmin!" I shouted after he caught a pass from Changbin in a scrimmage down field. I thought I felt someone looking at me, but when I turned all I saw was Bangchan who was watching Irene and Woojin talk about choir. Shrugging it off, I went back to watching the practice.

The coach signaled the team to go in about an hour and a half later, and by then we were the only people left in the stands. My friends moved to the back of the bleachers to wait for our other friends, but I stayed and walked to the fence that lead to the field. Immediatley I spotted Seungmin as he ran towards me taking off his helmet, a huge smile across his face. "Hey, Mr. All Star." I said as he reached me, wrapping and arm around me over the waist high fence. "What's up, Twinkle Toes?"

I blushed at his nickname for me. Ever since he found out I studied ballet, he has held the only girly thing about me over my head for the past four years. I looked down as he laughed at my reaction, blush creeping to my cheeks. "Wait for me?" I nodded and he jogged off to the locker rooms.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I walked back to my friends. As I rounded the corner I saw Felix and Changbin were already with everyone. As soon as he saw me he screamed, "Y/N!" The blonde boy sprinted towards me, lifting me over his shoulder and spinning me in circles. "FELIX IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW I WILL SCRATCH OFF EACH OF YOUR FRECKLES WITH THE REMAINDER OF YOUR GAME CONSOLE!" He laughed, placing me with two feet on the ground.

His smile disappeared when he pulled away and saw the scowl still on my face. "Oh shit. Are you really mad at me?" I smacked him upside the head and broke into a smile. "Ehhh! I knew it! Honorary Aussie Activate!" We high fived each other and screamed, "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI OI OI!"

Everyone except for probably Chan and Woojin ignored the two of us, used to our relationship. Soon Seungmin joined us and we all stood outside the stadium talking. With the night getting later, a cool breeze started to blow and I started to shiver. "Are you cold?" Chan asked. I shook my head no, but felt something being put around my shoulders. I turned to see Seungmin next to me wrapping his Letterman around my shoulders.

I blushed and pulled the fabric closer to my body. Far too soon, it was getting close to Jisung's curfew and he was our ride, therefore we all went our separate ways and headed home. When we dropped her off, Irene pulled me aside and said, "Do you think you could maybe hang out with Bangchan a little more and get some info for me?" I shrugged. He seemed like a pretty cool guy anyway. She smiled and kissed my cheek telling me to text her tomorrow morning.

I got back in my spot up front with Jisung and he drove us back to our house. Before I could get out of the car, Jisung stopped me. I turned to find him tapping his turned cheek. "I want a goodbye like Irene!" He whined. "You want to know how a girl kisses?" His eyes went wide for a second and then the sophomore vigorously nodded. I could see my brother shift in the backseat. I grabbed his cheek and gave it a long wet lick. "EWWWW Y/N!" He wiped his cheek with his sleeve as Jeongin and I laughed.

"Bye, Jisung!" I called back as we entered the house. Going up to my room, I changed into pjs and got ready for bed. Before I could get under the covers, my phone dinged with a notification. Picking up the device from my night stand, I opened Messenger.

UNKNOWN: hiii🙂 umm it's Chan! Ur brother gave me ur number

Y/n: Um Heyy! Why did you need my number?

Channie: Well u see I have this project for my musical composition class that deals with mixing two art forms that dont normally mix. And Jeongin told me u do ballet. I was wondering if u could help me?😅🙏

He was literally making free sushi the easiest thing ever. He would finish his project, Irene could get her info. It was a Win, Win, and Free Sushi for Y/n!

Y/n: Yeah! Sure! When do you want to meet?

Channie: Is tomorrow during eighth too soon😅

Y/n: nope! I can do that!

Channie: great! U r a life saver!

I smiled thinking this was going to be easier than I thought. I climbed into bed and looked at the Letterman on my desk. After hesitation, I got up and slipped the jacket on before climbing back into bed, and I honestly was not ashamed that I slept in that shit.

_________________________________________

At the beginning of eighth period the next day, I went to the room Chan texted me with my shoes in hand not knowing what to expect. To my surprise he had just asked me to meet in the choir room. Bangchan sat at the piano with a laptop sitting atop the instrument. He played a few chords and then jotted something down on a notepad next to him. "Knock, knock?" He turned at my voice and smiled, his dimples appearing in a cute way. "Look at you coming prepared, shoes and everything!" I laughed and sat next to him when he motioned me to.

"So, I kind of told you what this was about last night." The boy with messy blonde hair and headphones around his neck said. "For my senior project I wanted to try and mix a rap/hip hop/EDM track with ballet choreography. I thought that might make a really cool visual representation on what the project is about." I nodded as I followed along with the older boy's thought process.

"The problem is I am just terrible at classical music, I mean I've had classical training and I took a few ballet classes when I was young, but I just know the bare minimum and that I absolutely cannot do the splits." My mind pictured Chan in one of my classes, my instructor telling him to push his long ass legs down into the splits and I couldn't help but laugh. "Anyway, I was just hoping you could help me adjust the music so it would be easier to choreograph for ballet and maybe dance to it as well....hopefully. You want to listen?" I nodded and he took the headphones around his neck and placed them over my ears, chuckling when they fell down a little too low.

His long fingers reached over and pressed play on the laptop and a soft electronic beat filled my ears. My eyes closed as I listened to the track. It wasn't what I expected it to be based on how he described his idea. It was incredibly complex, but nonetheless pleasant to the ear. My fingers tapped out the beat on my leg and I could kind of see where he was going to add in lyrics or where he might add a bass drop, or switch to the underbelly track. When the song ended, I removed the headphones and looked at the boy next to me.

He smiled and asked if I wanted to listen to it again. I nodded and went to put on my shoes while he switched out the headphones for a wireless headset. Moving to a clear space in the room, Chan started his track again and I just let my feet do what was natural and remembered the beats that could be changed. I kept my movements small so not to go full out in the tiny space. I marked places where I thought maybe a saut de chat or lift might work. As the second bass dropped I tried doing a fuete keeping my feet en pointe and straight. I could feel Chan's eyes on me, but I focused on marking the rest of the song.

Coming down from my toes, I slid the headset from my ears and went to stand in front of the fourth year boy. "I think I can help you." He beamed up at me excited for the project ahead.

A few months had passed and I had spent most of my time with Bangchan working on his project. Most days I could be found in the choir room with him, or at his house in his makeshift recording studio (i.e. his mother's basement). I spent most of my free time with Bangchan whether we were working or not. Usually Chan and I spent free nights on his bedroom floor watching some show he found or hanging out with Jisung and Felix at the diner near my house. I hadn't heard from Irene in weeks. And to be honest, I hadn't noticed she didn't call.

Chan slowly began to replace her as my bestfriend. Nights in with her became afternoons out with him. Morning calls from Irene turned into late night calls from Chan waiting for the sun to come up. He even became my new source for Kim Seungmin problems and how to solve them.

Although, I hadn't heard from Seungmin lately either. It wasn't unusual. This time of the year he usually hid away and focused on his studies so he could still play on the team. I almost forgot what my life was like before I saw Chan every day after school.

It was the friday before the last away game for our school and I arrived early to the choir room to meet Bangchan. He texted me saying that he had almost finished the lyrics for the track so, I decided to come early and set his things up for him. His laptop was set on the piano and both our notebooks were on the bench. I rolled up the hem of my jeans and took off my sneakers. All of a sudden the door burst open and the room was filled with the sound of giggling and hushed whispers. My head shot towards the door and I froze at the sight.

"Y/n?" Seungmin pushed away the girl whose lips were attacking his neck. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen. My brain screamed for me to run, but my muscles wouldn't move. I tried to keep from bursting into tears at the sight of him with someone else. The girl turned and seeing her face felt like a thousand blows to the stomach. "Oh. Hi, Y/n." Irene.

I wanted to say something. I wanted to scream. My eyes burned as I tried to keep back the tears. Seungmin just stared at me jaw slack. Silent. I couldn't hide the pain on my face and Irene scoffed. "Please, you know he never liked you." Something about her small smile didn't allow me to turn away. "It's only fair."

I couldn't take it anymore. My bare feet pushed myself away from the room. If I didn't leave now I would be stuck there; a prisoner of my own heart and mind. I ran down the hall tears finally spilling over and clouding my vision. My body collided with someone's chest and the force sent my already shaky legs tumbling to the floor. "Y/n?" I hid my face and scrambled to my feet. Can't I just get out of here? "Wait! Y/n!" The person yelled after me.

I let my feet carry me as fast as they could, not caring where. My hands reached for the nearest door and finally found a place of solitude. I placed my hands on the wall and tried to brace my shaking hands and legs. Crying wasn't something I was ashamed of. I was just hurt and embarrassed. My chest started to feel tight and there was a pain in my forehead. I tried to focus through the tears to see I was in the empty boys locker room. With shaking hands I placed a hand on my chest as the room started to tilt and spin.

I couldn't breathe.

I stumbled through the locker room and my head started to spin. My hands found a metal knob and I desperately turned it feeling the tiniest bit of relief when the ice cold water hit my skin. The tile wall was the only thing holding me up as the freezing water drenched my hair and clothes. I couldn't stop thinking about them. What she said. How she was right. How I didn't understand. My legs finally gave out and I collapsed onto the floor trying to take deep breaths through the sobs. I clutched my head trying to relieve the pain I felt there. I wanted to scream. I wanted to keep crying but it hurt to do so. My head slowly lowered itself to my knees and I tried to make myself as small as possible. The harsh feel of the water left red marks on my skin as I tried to stifle my cries.

A pair of arms tried to wrap themselves around me, but I struggled against them shouting to leave me be. After awhile, I felt nothing. I looked up to see Bangchan sitting in front of me, letting the cold water fall onto him. His hair and shirt had already drowned in the water. He just looked at me with almost recognition through his wet blonde locks.

"Don't look at me." I managed to say through broken sobs. "Why?"He cocked his head trying to find a way to make contact with my E/c eyes. My mind struggled to find an answer that made sense.

"I-I don't want you to see me break." "Bullshit." His harsh words shocked me and made me jump back a little. He could see his outburst wasn't the right thing to do. "Y/n did you expect him to run in here and apologize for breaking your heart?"

"No, but-"

"This is what heartbreak feels like. It is a literal and figurative battle in every sense of the word. The thing is....." He struggled to find the right words, he himself knowing he could accidentally set me off in my fragile state. My body had started to shiver from the water, but my face still felt the hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

"It's not glorious. It's not beautiful, and it's definitely not heroic because we can't even save ourselves from how we feel. The thing is you are going to get your heart broken again and again and again. I can promise you that. It is the one sure thing in life. It's going to happen until you look like this."

Drops of water fell onto his skin, as he held my gaze. "One day it isn't going to hurt anymore and you will be able to wear your battles proudly on your sleeve. And it won't be because some guy came and rescued you."

He paused a moment letting me process what he said. The sound of the water hitting the tile echoed throughout the room.

"Heartbreak just means we are human."

After a couple minutes of silence I realized he was done speaking and looked up at him. All he did was gently wrap an arm around my waist and pull me into his chest. His fingers tangled themselves in my wet hair and he held me against his body, which felt safe and warm. He traced soothing patterns into the skin on my side to calm my sobs.

Bangchan didn't try to get up. He knew I wasn't ready. He simply let me sit in his arms and be human for a fleeting moment.

Part 2

Masterlist

[highroadsteve]

wingwoman — t.h.

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: none

requested thanks love!!

author’s note: requests are closed! this is the last requested i received before i closed them. hope you enjoy :)

masterlist

It seemed as if your life was on the best track it could be on. You worked so hard for years, and it was finally paying off. It was your time to shine; this movie was going to be the movie that will get you the success you wanted.

However, you did not expect the internet’s reaction.

The internet can be a wonderful place, but when you’re very much in the public’s eye, you get treated unfairly. At least it’s not something that hasn’t happened before. All celebrities have people who hate them, it’s just the truth.

Being a fan of Marvel since you were a child, it was obvious that you’d be so excited to be cast in one of their movies. Growing up with all those superheros, and watching every movie the minute it came out, it was your absolute dream to be in one. And that’s what had happened.

You were playing Gwen Stacy in the new Spiderman franchise, with Tom Holland as your co-star. This was the biggest role that you’ve booked so far; being a main character and the main love interest of Peter Parker. You were beyond excited, and you were happy to be portraying your own version of Gwen.

But, the moment the internet found out that Gwen Stacy was even going to exist in this version of the mcu, everything went chaos. Your face was released everywhere, and people were using it to their advantage to hate on you. They went from poking fun at your insecurities to hating on your acting from previous movies, and it took a toll on you.

People were angry, and most of them were angry that Zendaya was no longer going to play Peter’s love interest. This had created a spark of tension between your names.

Thousands of comments were flooding your instagram and twitter feed, people accusing you of sleeping with Tom, sleeping with directors, etc. Although there were mostly people who hated you for playing the role, the most common rumor was the apparent feud between you and Zendaya.

They said that the two of you hated each other because you’re going to ruin Tom and Zendaya’s friendship and you wanted Tom all for yourself. The rumors were spreading like wildfire, and you were starting to regret even taking the role.

But the rumors couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The second you met Zendaya, the two of you clicked so fast it surprised everyone. The two of you talk so comfortably around each other, it was hard to tell whether you just met or you met six years ago. Sharing the same sense of humor, it was common to find you both laughing so hard that there was no noise coming from your mouths and tears streaming down your faces. You had sleepovers almost all the time during filming because, hey, you were surrounded by so much testosterone on set, you just needed a break.

One day, both of you were sitting on the couch, flipping through channels and just talking about whatever came to mind.

“So, you still got that crush on Tom?” Zendaya asked you, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth. You almost choked on your drink.

“How do you still remember that? I said it like three months ago. I’m a changed woman.”

“You said it like last week.”

“You got me there.” You answered, tilting your drink slightly at her. She rolled her eyes and playfully threw a pillow at you.

“Why don’t you ask him out?” Zendaya asked again, turning her body slightly so her attention is on you.

You puckered your lips and hummed, “Mmm, can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I’m lazy.”

Zendaya scoffed and kicked you slightly, almost letting you spill your drink, “Stop playing, I’m being serious.”

You put your drink down on the table next to you and looked at her with your eyebrows furrowed. “I am being serious. You know how much I can’t do that.”

Zendaya shook her head and drank from the cup she had in her hand, “I actually don’t know. Care to enlighten me?”

“Okay first of all, I’m afraid of rejection—“

“Everyone is.”

“Second, everyone is just going to hate me more. I’m not sure if I can take that.”

Your mind flashed back to all those times, crying in the early hours of the day, seeing a wave of new tweets talking about how much they don’t want a Gwen. It hurt you, and you know that the hate comes with being in the spotlight, but that doesn’t make it any better. Being criticized for being yourself hurt you.

“Since when do you care what other people think?” Zendaya asked, genuinely confused on what you’re talking about.

“Since everyone started to hate on me because I’m apparently taking Tom away from you.” You rolled your eyes, the tears ready to spill out because you were finally speaking about how you felt.

“I’m pretty sure they just hate the character. Gwen does take Peter from MJ.” Zendaya furrowed her eyebrows.

“I meant in real life, Z. People think I’m taking you away from Tom.” You emphasized.

“But we’re not even together.”

“Still getting hate for it.”

“No, you know what. Screw them. If you want to be with Tom, you go for it. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen, and if you get hate for it, I’ll personally tell people to fuck off.” Zendaya put her drink down with a slam, causing you to look at her in surprise.

“You’re going to be my wingwoman?”

“Hell yeah.”

...

So the mission began. Although you and Tom were already close, Zendaya made sure that your best qualities were implemented in Tom’s mind. When Zendaya and Tom were alone, Zendaya always transitioned to talking about you and how much you and Tom would look cute together.

Tom would always laugh it off, rolling his eyes and thinking Zendaya was just messing around. He liked you a lot, his crush on you was increasing, but he also had that fear of rejection.

Zendaya knew that. And she hated the two of you for being so scared because you were both missing out on a beautiful relationship. So she took matters into her own hand, and set up a date.

Z: want to go out?

Y/N: where?

Z: idk, anywhere

Y/N: k let me get ready

Z: Tom and Jacob are tagging along

Y/N: sounds good

You put your phone down and started getting ready. Not knowing where you were going, you went with a simple outfit: jeans, tshirt, jacket. After you were finished getting ready, you got a text from Tom.

Hey love, we’re outside

Responding with an okay and a smiley face, you grabbed your bag and basically ran out the door. You saw Tom’s car and walked over, opening the back door and getting in.

The day continued on and you were so grateful to have worn a jacket because it was pretty cold. The four of you were roaming around the city, the beautiful lights illuminating the equally beautiful characteristics. The moonlight was shining on the water, moving along with its waves. Cars were moving back and forth across the bridge, the sound of car horns everywhere.

“Hey y/n, bet you won’t ask that guy over there for a picture.” Tom nudged you with his elbow, motioning to a street performed dressed in a shiny costume, dancing along to a random song. You looked at Tom with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on your lips.

“How much?”

“10.”

“Deal.”

You went to go ask the performed for a picture and he happily obliged, giving a thumbs up for the picture as you took it. Returning to your group of friends, you smirked at Tom and stretched out your hand.

“My 10.”

He smiled and rolled his eyes, taking out his wallet.

The four of you decided to grab something to eat at a small restaurant you found on the corner of a street. The people in there were dressed in classy attire, and you thanked yourself for convicing yourself to not wear sweat pants.

“This city is gorgeous.” Jacob stated as the waiter left with their orders and their menus. The rest of the group agreed with excited voices.

You sat on your hands to keep them from being cold before speaking, “I can’t wait to film the scenes by the water. It’s going to look so pretty.”

“Oh yeah, remember that one time you cried because you got your shoes wet.” Tom teased you, and you stuck out your tongue at him.

“Shut up Holland, you know I have way more embarrassing stories about you.”

The night continued on and you all just had a swell time together, talking about anything and everything. Zendaya made sure to push you and Tom together as much as she could without making it obvious, until the night began to end.

She pulled Tom aside and whispered to him as you talked to Jacob about something, “do you have feelings for y/n?”

Tom gave her a confused look, his face turning pink and his tongue being tied in knots, “w-what, huh?”

Zendaya rolled her eyes, “do you, or not?”

“Did Jacob tell you?”

“Does it matter?”

Tom sighed and shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. His heart was beating fast when he looked at you. Your gorgeous smile and your bright eyes making it seem almost impossible to look that good in person. You were a walking masterpiece, and he felt you were too good for him.

“Yeah. I do.”

Zendaya smiled and patted his shoulder, returning to looking straight ahead.

“She likes you too.”

“Wait really?”

“Yeah, duh. Why do you think I keep trying to get you two to talk more?” Zendaya gave him a ‘duh’ look, making him realize what she was talking about.

All those times Zendaya left to go to the bathroom and returned like ten minutes later. All those times Zendaya ended up not showing up to plans because she had something else to do. All those times, they were all so you and Tom can become closer.

“You did that on purpose?”

“Obviously. You two don’t have the balls to do it yourselves.”

...

The night came to an end, and you were the first one to be dropped off. Tom parked the car in front of your apartment and he ran to the other side in hopes of opening the door before you. He failed and you giggled at his attempt at being a gentleman, letting him at least hold your hand as he walked you to your door.

Taking out your keys, you faced Tom and gave him a smile, “well, thanks for walking me to my door, Holland”.

“Anytime. I know how hard it is for you to walk three feet.” Tom teased and you rolled your eyes, reaching for a hug.

“What would I do without you?” Tom laughed at your response, and you gave him a smile. You opened the door and turned around to enter but was stopped when Tom grabbed your arm softly.

“Wait, y/n.”

You turned around and gave him a confused look, edging him to go on with what he was going to say. His mouth felt dry and he was extremely nervous, trying to find the right words to say without sounding like a creep.

“I have feelings for you.” Tom spat out, the blush on his face becoming a deeper shade when he saw your face. Your eyes widened and you stared at him, not knowing what to say either.

“You are one of my best friends, and I love being around you but I just...I don’t know y/n. I really like you and I want to be with you.” He whispered, his hand softly holding your own in the cold of the night. The blush on your cheeks made you feel grateful for the darkness of the night.

“I like you too.” You whispered back as he stepped forward, his breath basically fanning your face. The two of you locked eyes, one of you glancing at the other’s lips every two seconds.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered and you nodded. He closed the gap between you and wrapped his arm around your waist, his lips pressed against yours.

“I hate to interrupt but I need a fucking ride!” Zendaya yelled from the car, smirking at you and Tom. You both laughed and shook your heads.

Best wingwoman.

[lovelylapins]

au august day 2

au august day 2: college for @auyeahaugust

as always, i made this way longer than intended. enjoy i guess.

Studying was hard.

Even harder, Marinette supposed, was running around the city of Paris in spandex at the wondrous age of twenty, catching articles on the size of her thighs and waist next to ones demanding the space trash age finally be done with.

“Honestly, who even thinks that Ladybug would look the same after six years of fighting crime? A lot of things have happened, people. Puberty happens,” she complains to Alya, textbooks strewn about them yet ignored. She throws her head back and chugs her coffee, the burn only fueling her anger.

“I feel you,” Alya comments, taking a cool sip from her frappe. “Rena Rouge hasn’t been getting lots of love either these days.”

“But Chat Noir is, of all things. I can’t believe it,” Marinette mutters. She picks up her pencil, tracing designs in the air as she continues talking. “He gets all muscly and lands ten Cosmo articles on how cool and strong he is. You and I suddenly get boobs and next thing you know, we’re shamed in those same articles. They don’t even let Chloé live much these days. I heard her ass was talked about on E! just the other day.”

“What? Jealous about how much love Chat’s getting?” Alya teases. She can’t help it, after all. The envy is practically radiating off of Marinette, filling the coffee shop they’re in with the stench of anger.

“No,” she denies quickly, shaking her head.

Alya throws her a look, one that only her best friend could do.

“Okay, maybe a little,” Marinette admits, sighing. “But, can you blame me? If only I knew who he was, then I could have someone to really push all my anger on.”

“Wait, don’t tell me you two haven’t revealed yourselves yet,” Alya says. “It’s been six years!”

“And?”

“How is it that you still haven’t mustered up the courage to tell that cat? You won’t even let us tell you who he is!”  Alya questions, eyebrow raised. Quicker than Ladybug or Chat Noir could have ever done, Alya, Nino and Chloé had been quick to share their identities amongst their friend group, even going so far as separately telling Chat and Ladybug. The two most revered superheroes, however, have been dodging a confession from each other from years, going so far as purposefully causing the timer on their Miraculous to start to leave the scene quicker.

“It’s different,” Marinette says. And in a way, it is. Chat’s always been different. To her, at least.

“Different my ass. If anything, you know how long he’s been ready to tell you, and I bet you can’t wait to tell him either.”

“Why don’t we get back to studying?” she suggests, trying to change the subject. “Our final is only in two weeks.”

“I’m letting this go for now only because we have to pass, but this is not over,” Alya says, picking up her textbook and opening it up to a random page.

“Okay,” Marinette sighs. She opens up a textbook of her own and reads a section aloud, hoping if she repeats the words enough times it’ll get stuck in her mind. “Although the atom is considered the smallest unit, the atom itself contains smaller particles. Those particles are identified as- “

“Quarks and leptons,” Adrien finishes, sitting down next to Marinette.

“Adrien!” Marinette exclaims, the corners of her mouth raising upwards. After six years, he still manages to bring out the all too familiar feeling of butterflies in her stomach. The only difference now from her fourteen-year-old self was she could actually hold a conversation now (although it did take some time to master). He smiles, lifting up his own copy of the textbook.

“Nino told me you two were studying, and I thought I could lend a hand.”

“You’re a saint,” Alya murmurs, eyes unmoving from her textbook. “We’ve been here for the past thirty minutes with nothing good coming out.”

“Well, what have you guys been doing? Taking notes? Making flashcards?”

“Well, er… kinda just gossiping,” Marinette admits, slightly embarrassed.

“Gossiping?” Adrien raises an eyebrow. “Care to share?”

“It’s a bit on the girl talk side. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to listen in,” Alya says. She grabs her cup of coffee and downs it, feeling the regular caffeine buzz come over her.

“Fair enough. I suppose you’ll let the girl talk rest for a while so we can get to some proper studying?”

“Of course,” Marinette says, beaming. “Do you think you could help explain a bit more on the whole quacks and liptons thing?”

“Quarks and leptons,” he corrects, laughing at how Marinette’s eyes widen. “Hand me a pencil, will you? I’ll write down the definitions for each one.”

Their hands brush a bit as she hands over a pencil, touch lingering for a second. He grabs a flashcard and quickly jots down the definitions, grabbing a highlighter and marking the words for extra measure.

“How can you memorize them so easily? It takes forever for me,” Marinette sighs out, propping her head on her hand.

“I can help you memorize if you want,” he offers, looking at her.

“What? Oh no Adrien, you have to study too!”

“We have all of the same general classes, remember? If anything, it’ll help me out when I become a teacher’s assistant next semester.”

“You’re too nice,” she says, not wanting to trouble him. His schedule is packed to the brim from classes to shoots, and God knows what else.

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Only if you let me buy you coffee during study sessions.”

“Deal! When are you free?”

Marinette closes her eyes, racking her brain around for anything coming up. Patrol tonight and Wednesday with Alya, a quick ceremony with Chat in the morning before class on Thursday, and she had planned to go shopping with Chloé and Alya on Saturday.

“I’m free on Friday all day? And I guess I’m free these next few weekdays, but only if we meet up maybe around lunch.”

Adrien frowns, running his schedule through his mind. Tuesday and Friday he had patrol with Nino, and Thursday was a ceremony with Ladybug, with his weekend coated with various photoshoots.

“Yeah, I guess lunch would be a good time for me as well. I guess I’ve been getting a little busy these days!”

“You could say the same for me,” Marinette says, laughing. A familiar blush is on her cheeks, and she feels the slightest shred of teenage excitement ring through her as she realizes she’s agreed to lunch. With Adrien. For the rest of the week.

“Should we get back to studying?” Adrien suggests. “Just point out anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

“Will do!”

Alya closes her book silently, looking with increasing frustration at the two. God, did she hate how neither knew the other’s identity. It led to moments like this, where she felt tempted to beat up both of her best friends and just scream “How can you not see!?” in their faces. But, it also led to her growing fond of the moments. Even without knowing, Adrien and Marinette reflected their superhero personas outside of the suit with each other. Marinette was leaning slightly on Adrien’s shoulder to better view the words he was writing out, with Adrien scooting close enough so that his hair brushed against hers.

It was almost like they were destined to be together.

Slightly raising her phone, Alya takes a quick picture. Hey, she can’t help it. She’s been a journalist since she got her first phone. It’s like a reflex now to document things like this. Pulling up the groupchat, she starts typing, glad for once that Chat and Ladybug refused to get added in as an attempt to avoid sharing their identities to each other.

Paris’ Baddest Bitches

Alya: y’all we WON today

Alya: [image]

Chloé: holy shit

Chloé: mari is being BOLD

Nino: FINALLY

Nino: who do you think is gonna reveal their identity first

Chloé: mari

Chloé: I love adrien but he’s a lil bitch

Alya: ^^

Nino: true

Alya: but that’s not it

Nino: what else happened??

Chloé: we’re WAITING

Alya: THEYRE GOING ON LUNCH DATES ALL WEEK

Alya: FOR “STUDYING”

Nino: FUCK

Chloé: FUCK

Chloé: THEYRE 10/10 GONNA FUCK

Alya: I KNOW

Chloé: WE WON

Alya: I KNOW

Nino: tell adrien i want notes for the chem final

Chloé: oh shit same

Alya: already planning on taking pics of it xoxo

Chloé: you’re the only bitch in this house i ever respected

Nino: have i ever told you how much i loved you alya

Alya: always

Alya: gotta bounce they’re giving me LOOKS and want me to HELP and FOCUS

Alya: ugh if they don’t end up together at the end of this what’s the point

Nino: uh maybe a degree??

Alya: yeah maybe

[hellimagines]

Love and Death -- Patrick Hockstetter

Masterlist

Request: “Hi I didn’t know where to request but could I pretty please with a cherry on top have an imagine of reader looking back at times of her and Patrick before he died and kind of working their way up to how she reacted to his death. I’m bad at explaining it but would you please be able to kind of song prompt it to the acoustic version of Katy Perry’s ‘The One That Got Away’ (listen to it while thinking of Pat it will bring you to tears. I don’t know if I did this right but if I didn’t explain it enough just send me a message. :) - @realclassact  ”

Summary: You and Patrick were June and Johnny. Nothing could separate that, except love and death.

Warnings: angst, major character death

Pairing: Patrick Hockstetter x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,130

A/N: The timeline is different than the movie/book, so RIP that. Also, I left out some of the song, because I figured it wouldn’t work with the rest of the story.

Summer after high school

When we first met

We make out in your Mustang

To Radiohead

Patrick Hockstetter was a concoction of chaos. You had been friends with him, and the rest of the self-proclaimed Bowers Gang since the beginning of sixth grade. It wasn’t as hard as everyone made it seem to run with the Gang. A couple sly smirks, a roll of the eyes, and being able to watch as they pummeled their latest victim. A lack of moral and a lot of patience scored you your spot in the group. And you loved it.

You were closest to Patrick, out of all of the boys. He was the one who dragged you into the group in the first place. So nobody was truly surprised when they found out that the summer after 8th grade, you and Patrick got together. It was early June, and the five of you were outside Mr.Keene’s, arguing over what to steal, and what to buy. You needed tampons, but none of the boys were willing to steal you any. And Patrick needed a pack of smokes, but nobody was willing to steal those, either. So, the two of you came to a deal.

“I’ll get you your fucking cigarettes if you get me my damn tampons,” you said to Patrick, staring him down with a glare. An oh-so-familiar, wicked smirk crossed his face as he dragged his eyes up and down your form.

“Fine… if you kiss me,” he bargained triumphantly, winking at the boys. You had never shown any interest in a boy, or a girl for that matter, so all the boys figured you were a stuck-up prude. Needless to say, Patrick’s eyes almost fell out of his head when you leaned over and gave him a long, rough kiss to the lips.

Whooping and hollering echoed from the Trans Am as Patrick pulled you closer, having you practically straddle his lap. Vic coughed and groaned in the corner, desperately trying to shrink into the seats. You pulled away from Patrick with a grin and bit your lip as you shook your head.

“Better get me my fucking shit, Hockstetter,” you whispered, before crawling out of his lap, and slipping through the front seat to leave the car. Henry, Vic, and Patrick were quick to follow (Belch staying back as the getaway), and the four of you made your way inside.

“We’ll create the diversion, you two grab the shit,” Henry ordered, and all of you nodded.

You and Patrick mingled in one aisle, while Henry and Vic made their way to the back corner of the store. With a simple shove from Henry, Vic was toppling into the shelves and displays, knocking everything to the floor. At the sound of a crash, and the sight of two ragged boys, Mr.Keene was all-but jumping over the counter and rushing over. You took your chance and dashed to the counter, grabbing four packs and hastily shoving them into your pockets. Patrick grabbed your tampons, and a few other things, before grabbing ahold of your hand and pulling you out of the store. You two jumped into the Trans Am quickly, and a few seconds later, Vic and Henry came dashing out of the store, grins on their faces as they too jumped in.

Radiohead’s ‘Everybody Knows’ blasted through Belch’s radio as the car sped down Mainstreet, while you and Patrick pulled out your stealings. You tossed the smokes at Patrick, and he tossed you your tampons, as well as a chocolate bar, before giving Henry, Vic, and Belch their desired items. You smiled at the chocolate in your hands, before grabbing Patrick by the back of the neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

“Hm, guess this is a thing now,” Patrick snickered against your lips, before pulling you closer while the rest of the boys groaned in disapproval.

And on my eighteenth birthday

We got matching tattoos

It was your sixteenth birthday, and as you sat in Patrick’s basement, shirt-sleeves pulled up, you couldn’t have been happier. You and Patrick had been together for three years now, and as a birthday present, Patrick had gotten his hands on a tattoo machine. He had given the boys tattoo’s a while ago, but you could never decide what you truly wanted- so you never got one. Until now. You were getting a lighter on your shoulder, and Patrick was going to give himself a can of hairspray on his thigh, to symbolize your relationship.

“Ready?” Patrick asked, pressing the needle of the gun against your shoulder. With an affirmative nod, Patrick got to work. Two hours later, you and Patrick were supporting matching tattoos, chaotic grins on both of your faces.

Used to steal your parents’ liquor

And climb to the roof

Talk about our future

Like we had a clue

A few months later, you and Patrick found yourselves on top of his roof, a bottle of Grey Goose and Jack Daniels placed between the two of you.

“Whiskey and vodka is not a good mix,” you shuddered, taking another sip of the amber liquid.

“Grey Goose is your favorite though,” Patrick hummed, gulping down said liquor.

You nodded, watching him with a smile. “Yeah, and ‘Daniels is yours.”

“You know me so well,” Patrick purred, moving the bottles so he could tug you to lay down with him.

After a few minutes of silence, your mouth began to move of its own accord. “What do you think college will be like?” Patrick looked over at you, startled at your sudden question.

“Fuck if I know,” Patrick shrugged, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to lay on his chest.

“Are you going to go to college?”

“Probably not. But with you, little Ms. Harvard, I may just hitch a ride to Massachusetts with ya,” Patrick snickered, and you huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah? You and the boys sneakin’ into my dorm?”

“Sneaking? Oh no, we’d all live with you.”

“Oh, that’s just bloody fantastic, really. You all better get jobs,” you sighed, shaking your head in mock-disapproval. Patrick grinned down at you and squeezed your body against his.

“Whatever keeps ya around.”

I was June

You were my Johnny Cash

Never one without the other

We made a pact

Everybody knew, that where ever you were, Patrick Hockstetter was sure to be right behind you: he’d be at your locker, waiting for you after every class, he and the boys would walk you to every class, and pick you up every morning, and at the end of every day. For six whole years, it was (Y/N) and the boys, and then (Y/N) and Patrick.

You remembered the day you realized you were in love with Patrick Hockstetter. You had been sitting on the hood of the Trans Am, beside Vic, watching Patrick and Henry square off in a beer-drinking competition. It was probably midnight, and there was a heavy bonfire going, thanks to yourself. You had been watching Patrick closely; the way his head tilted back to allow the alcohol to slide down his throat, the way his long, black hair was tossed out behind his shoulders, a few stray strands sticking to his wet face, the way his over-shirt hung loosely around his black tank-top. It was all too perfect, and quickly, your heart stopped.

“Vic,” you suddenly whispered, turning to him in a flash, with wide, fearful eyes. “I think I’m falling in love with Patrick Hockstetter, and this is the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through in my life. It is like I’m in a ring of fire, and I’m never coming out. I’m going down, down to the bottom of this thing. It’s going to kill me, because I would never have the nerve to tell him, nor do I want to tell him, and I know he’d never love me back.”

“(Y/N), you fucking idiot,” Vic whispered back, his own eyes wide. “Of course Patrick cares about you, in his own fucked up way. But love? I don’t think he even knows what that is.”

“That’s my point! I just signed a one-way ticket to hell,” you whined, slamming your face into your hands. Vic reached over and rubbed your shoulders, biting his lip while looking between you and Patrick.

All this money

Can’t buy me a time machine

Can’t replace you

With a million rings

It didn’t take long after your realization, for things to go downhill. You had confessed to Patrick about how you truly felt, and as expected, it went up in flames.

“No, you can’t love me,” Patrick ordered, sticking a finger in your face.

“But I do and I know you don’t love me back, but it’s fine, okay? I don’t want this to come between us!”

“It already has, (Y/N). I can’t be with you, knowing that you love me. That’s not how this works,” Patrick snarled, before he was marching out of your house, and out of your life.

Looking back on that day, you wished you could change it all. Your fingers lazily twirled the ring on your index finger, the one Patrick had given you a year prior. You were sat in class, slouched in your chair, and hands in your lap. It had been a few weeks since the breakup, and it was now mid-September. Kids were still going missing left-and-right, and you had almost forgotten about all of it, being so caught up with the boys.

But then, you saw the posters.

I should’ve told you

What you meant to me

Cause now I pay the price

Your heart shattered, into a million unfixable pieces. Your body stood frozen, staring up in absolute horror at the piece of paper stapled to the lamppost.

Patrick was missing.

Patrick had joined the other dozens of Derry kids that had been taken the past year. Patrick, the love of your life, was gone. You showed up at Vic’s house, in absolute hysterics, not even bothering to say ‘hello’ to Henry and Belch, who were sat on the couch. Your eyes were swollen, cheeks inflamed, and nose running. You couldn’t form words, you didn’t know what to even say. So, you let Vic pull you into his arms, in a desperate attempt to shush and console you. Belch joined in, hugging you from behind, while Henry stood to your side, hesitantly petting your hair.

“We’ll get him back, (Y/N), okay? You know we will,” Vic whispered, kissing the top of your head. You shook your head furiously, a quiet gasp escaping your lips.

“No, no. Something is different. Something is wrong,” you cried, hands balled into fists as you tried to quiet your sobs. Something wasn’t right, you just knew it.

In another life

I would be your girl

We’d keep all our promises

Be us against the world

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don’t have to say

You were the one

That got away

Your whole body was numb. From the tips of your ears to the bottom of your toes, everything was numb. You weren’t filled with icy rage anymore or boiling sadness. Everything was just gone. Just like Patrick.

“We are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of Mr.Patrick Hockstetter. At the young age of 17…” You zoned out once the pastor started preaching, your eyes hazing over to Patrick’s closed casket. You sat between Henry and Vic, your hands fisting the skirt of your dress until your knuckles turned white.

It didn’t seem like anybody in the church was actually crying. Patrick’s mother and father sat at the end of the pew, holding one another’s hands, solemnly looking at their final son, laid to rest. Patrick’s relatives sat in the pews next to, and behind you, none of them shedding tears. Patrick had never gotten along well with his family, other than his one grandmother, who passed away a few years back. Henry, Vic, and Belch had sat as your support beams the past few weeks, letting you lean, cry, and punch on them when you needed to. So now, as they sat by you, they looked like soldiers returning from war, but ready for another one to begin. If your body didn’t feel so foreign, you probably would’ve been crying.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again. Patrick was gone and had left you behind. Your last moments together was a fight that should’ve never happened. And now, you were never going to see him again. Never touch him again. Never kiss him again. Never love him again. Because Patrick was the one that got away, and he was never coming back.

[chimin-ssi]

Pride | six

Masterlist || index

Brief summary You and Yoongi have been an item for a short while now, but things go south when the two of you fight before he leaves for tour. Neither of you speak for 2 months and you make some choices that you regret, thinking that the relationship is over. Once he comes back, however…

word count: 7,318

main pairing: Yoongi x Reader

genre: angst, fluff, angst

warnings: cursing, threats?

a/n: I’m so sorry for this being so late, but I hope the length makes up for it? thank you for your patience & hello to all new readers! This chapter holds some really vital events & i hope some of you can pick up on the somewhat subtle things thrown in - ie. the significance of ‘naz’ c; also! would a list of things i’m working on/expected release dates be useful to anyone?? feel free to shoot me a message or even answer here. like always, thank you for reading!!

!! open to any chat / criticism !!

Your pov

For a long while you just stood there, eyes resting on his hunched over frame. He sat on the bed’s edge, elbows propped up on his knees and head hidden within his hands. It hurt you to see him like this, and it hurt even more to know that you were the cause of this entire storm. But you were at a loss as to what to do. How could you fix it, if talking about it just brought about more pain? How could you fix it if he couldn’t even  to so much as  when the topic came up?

So you didn’t say anything, allowing the silence to continue. With each second that dragged by, you felt yourself itching to reach out to him, to comfort him in some sort of way.

It would do more harm than good.

A voice whispered, but you couldn’t decide if you truly believed the words.

When was the last time you initiated a touch with him in an intimate way? In a non-sexual way, a way that wasn’t a kiss? You hugged him on the first night when you were drunk, did that count?

No answers came, so you just stood there. You had your arms wrapped around your own body, hands fisting around your shirt as you clung to yourself as if to stop pieces of you from chipping away, from falling.

Talking, now twice proved to be near enough impossible. Min Yoongi was never a person that openly and easily discussed feelings and emotions personal to him. At least not with you. Although you were friends for what seemed like ever, you could count on one hand the number of times he openly discussed his intimate feelings with you. You didn’t really take it personally, as you yourself weren’t one to openly discuss such things about yourself either. Yet, somehow, neither of those things affected your friendship. When issues arose the two of you would just talk it out and things would go back to normal, no hard feelings. And it was okay, it was stable.

Your relationship came as a surprise to both of you, one night suddenly turned into the two of you finding yourselves wrapped up in the other, all hands and lips. It all had happened quite suddenly after one of their significant wins around a year or so ago.

You were allowed backstage that time, hidden away and monitoring the screen with the rest of their staff. You still remembered the yells of the fans, yells which pierced the walls and simultaneously blasted from the speakers beside the monitor. You were so happy then, shedding a few tears of your own to company the ones breaking from everyone’s eyes. You weren’t a crier, but back then you just couldn’t help yourself. You were too overwhelmed with pride for them all, knowing perfectly well how hard all seven of the members had worked, knowing how much their staff put into everything around them.

Knowing how much everybody counted on and wanted this win.

The moment you saw him he had you wrapped within his arms. One second you were hugging and congratulating him, the next your lips moved in sync with his, fingers lost in his dark hair. Since then both of you carried the girlfriend-boyfriend labels. A few rumors did get out to the public about an apparent kiss, but the majority of those that played witness to the kiss was the makeup staff, who didn’t care for gossip about the boys. So the rumors never properly took off.

Since then, your display of affection was limited to the safety of 4 walls and trusted friends. But even then, the talk of your feelings for one another was few and far between. Maybe that was one of the mistakes that contributed to the silence while he was away? Maybe it wasn’t the significance of pride both of you clung onto so desperately in regards to your own persons, but the fact that neither of you could properly discuss your feeling? That neither of you truly knew how the other person felt about the things the other did?

Was it too late to do so now? Could he trust you again? Could you?

      Yoongi pov

  As the buzz of alcohol turned from a comforting feeling to a more violent one, your words echoing shards inside of his mind.

I’m so sorry Yoongi…

A chuckle threatened to leave his lips, but he forced it down.

He couldn’t bear to hear your explanation or attempted apology. If you said it all out loud… He was too afraid of what he’d do. Did you even realize what effect you had on him? Although he knew that there weren’t many days in which he showed and told you how much of an effect you had – and still have – on him, he  think of it daily. Did you not realize that? Not know of just how much of him you held? Of how much of an impact each thing you do and say has on him, even if he didn’t make it obvious? Of how easily he knew he dismissed your flaws, no matter how big or small and how he came to question his own person for doing that? Did you not realize how some of the things you did, no matter how small, sent an electric shock through his entire body, leaving him lost of all clear thoughts? He didn’t know how to express what he felt, how to properly make you acknowledge just how much you mean to him, but he had always suspected that you realized at least a  of this.

It was different, his ability of weaving words, bending language to write lyrics. He could express himself clearly and well through that. But when it came to speech, to vocal conversations about his feelings for you… He often sat and tried to put it into lyrics, tried to describe how you make him feel. How scarily willing he is to give himself up to you with no second thoughts present.

But it never worked.

How could he tell you, how could he explain, just  how much your words meant to him? How each of your rarely whispered ‘ I love you’s affected him, whether you were honest about them or not? How could he express the fear that he felt, when he realized that he didn’t care whether you lied about your feelings for him? That as long as the two of you were together, he was willing to ignore any and every mistake you made? How could he express how pathetic he felt when he saw you the first night he got back?

There were a few times during the tour when he found himself staring at your number on his phone, thumb hovering over the call icon. But he never pressed it. Not for the first 2 weeks, at least. By the 3rd week he didn’t want to. He was scared you would tell him your relationship was a waste of time. That you’d end it by saying that you’ve fucked someone else. He could deal with you fucking other people, he would ignore it if you still wanted to stay together. But he wouldn’t be able to handle you leaving him and that thought honestly petrified him.

  Then the tour ended and he came home. At first, when he found your apartment door locked and nobody coming to open the door after he knocked, he thought that that was your way of leaving him. That you had changed your locks and left him. But he didn’t even accept the thought, without even thinking about it he was jamming his key into the lock. How could he express the relief he felt when the key fit and the lock turned, unlocking the door?

So he took it as a sign that the two of you were okay. That you were still together.

That you’d be good.

So he stayed in the apartment, unpacked and waited. Initially he thought that you had simply left to go to the shop or that you were out with your friends. So he stayed home and worked something up in the kitchen, running all sorts of speeches through his head. He was going to apologize that night for the petty fight that started over something so incredibly minor and stupid that neither of you really remembered what it was. He wanted to apologize for not calling you, for not saying he’s sorry. For leaving in the shitty manner that he did.  But once the sun went down and the food went cold, he wondered why you weren’t coming home. Were you staying over somewhere? You knew when the tour ended, everyone on the group-chat made sure to make their coming back obvious. So where were you?

That’s when he found himself staring at his phone again, your number staring back at him. He didn’t call. Couldn’t.

Come home.

Sent.

You didn’t reply.

He wondered how he should take your silence. Did you not want him here? Is that why you weren’t home when he came, why you weren’t here now? Did you not want to see him?

Did you even see his text?

It seemed like hours before the buzzer sounded off in the apartment, the noise making him shoot for the door.

It was you.

It had to be you.

  He couldn’t help the smirk that played on his lips, a smirk that evolved into a smile once he swung the door open to reveal you, real.

Your face is what his eyes were drawn to first. At first he was just happy to see you, to finally have you before him.

   But soon he noticed the smaller details about you. How your eyes were glazed over, tainted with fear and alcohol. How your lipstick on your slightly parted lips was slightly smudged at the corners. Alarm bells sounded off  inside of his head, making him focus on you and not just your face. He noticed your bare feet, free from heels. Your short dress, the one he would often complement you on when you went out clubbing with him early into your relationship. How strings of your hair were unnaturally pulled out of your up-do, as if pulled out.

Then finally a faint smell of cologne made its presence known.

The smell of a cologne that wasn’t his..

That’s when it hit him, his fears presenting themselves in the physical world in the form of you.

The way you looked at him, the fear so evident in your eyes.

Your dress, your hair.

The lipstick, your bare feet.

The smell.

You were fucking around, probably even screwing other people.

His fears were real and you were evidence enough to prove it.

And the worst part was that he didn’t even care.

  Now he was sitting on the edge of the bed the two of you shared, alcohol buzzing in his mind in a comforting manner. Stupidly, he felt braver.

It scared him.

        Your pov

  As the silent seconds ticked by, the uneasiness inside of you continued to grow. You couldn’t just stand there looking at him, seeing just how he looked.

You couldn’t do it anymore -you reached for him, aiming to place your hand on his arm,  but before you could so much as touch his shoulder, his fingers lightly locked around your wrist and he gently tugged at you; motioning for you to stand in front  him. You moved and sat down on the floor before him.

‘’ Yoongi… ‘’

You whispered, all of the words you wanted to say left your mind. How could you comfort him, re-assure him if not with words? You leaned your forehead against his knee, his fingers lightly running through your hair in a comforting manner, his lips whispering gentle hushes. You felt him resting his own forehead on top of your head, his warm breath, tainted with the smell of alcohol, fanning over your face.

You shuddered, angry with yourself. Why was he the one comforting you, again? Why did you choke each time?

‘’ You mean so much to me, do you realize that? ‘’ He whispered, freezing your body.

The defeated whisper sent a chill through you, hollowing and enforcing the pit in your stomach even more.

Did you?

Your actions certainly said otherwise.

Why don’t you see what I am, how I hurt you?

You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting back your burning eyes.

Why won’t you let me tell you?

‘’ Please don’t ever leave.’’ His voice caught, leaving the words barely audible.

Your eyes shot open. 

Leave?

You couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t.

Was he really scared of you  when it was you that fucked up?  that had hurt him?

You should be the one begging him not to leave.

You slowly lifted your head, slow enough for him to lift his own.

When your eyes caught his took you a while to register just how much fear filled his frowned, dark gaze, the alcohol leaving him free of any guards.

‘’ Never. ‘’

The word came out strong, leaving no room for doubt.

The moment it was spoken his hands flew to cup your face, urging you to sit up as his lips came to sloppily crash with yours.

‘’ Never.’’ He whispered into your lips.

   It wasn’t the sun that woke you up in the morning, but the buzzing of your phone. Your hand flew to your nightstand, feeling your way towards your phone until your fingers found the familiar shape. You slid your finger across the screen before pressing the phone to your ear.

‘’ Hello?’’ You croaked out, eyes squeezed shut.

You heard a chuckle from the other end. The noise that shot your eyes open.

‘’ Yoongi? Is everything okay?’’

‘’ Yea, ‘’ he laughed, ‘’ I’m just calling to tell you that I had to leave for the studio. ‘’

There was a silence. He called.

No note. No text. A call.

‘’I didn’t realize you’d still be sleeping. ‘’

‘’ What time is it?’’ You asked, your gaze flicking towards the window where the blinds were drawn, keeping out the sun’s rays. A small smile spread across your lips.

‘’ A little over 10, why? ‘’

You counted in your head, shooting out of bed.

‘’ Is Seokjin back yet?’’

‘’ Jin?’’ he asked, ‘’ he should be here soon, do you want me to pass him a message or something?’’

You got out of bed and hurriedly rummaged through your wardrobe, phone pressed between your ear and shoulder.

‘’ You guys don’t need him down at the studio today, right? Just the costume fittings?’’

‘’ No, those are next week, but I think Namjoon wanted him to re-record something with Jimin today but I think that’s it?’’’   His tone wasn’t steady, telling you that he was probably talking to you whilst doing something else at the same time. ‘’Why, do you need to speak to Jin or something?’’ He added.

You flung a pair of jeans and a top that matched well enough onto your bed, quickly leaving it paired with some underwear and a pair of socks. You quickly headed for the bathroom, turning on the bath and letting the water heat.

‘’ I figured that since your comeback was rushed up, he probably didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to his girlfriend and you know how he is. ‘’

‘’ I do. ‘’

You could just about hear the smile on his lips.

‘’ And he wouldn’t enjoy himself tonight as much as he will, if he wouldn’t get a chance to say a proper farewell. ‘’ You continued.

‘’ That’s true, ‘’ he said. ‘’ You planned something, didn’t you?’’

You chuckled. ‘’ I might have, yeah.’’

You heard his own small laugh through the receiver before a small sigh escaped his lips. ‘’ Hey, I have to go and really try to finally finish this, but I’ll make sure to tell Jin to call you as soon as he’s free, alright?’’

‘’ Alright,’’ you agreed, letting a few seconds of silence pass before whispering a soft, ‘’ thank you. ‘’

More silent seconds.

‘’ See you tonight. ‘’ His voice was gentle.

‘’ See you tonight. ‘’ You replied before the call went silent. You set the phone on the bathroom’s small dresser before stepping into the bath, pulling Yoongi’s shirt over your head and dropping it onto the bathroom floor.

      You were still getting ready when you heard them all come in, announcing themselves by their complains and commands of those at the front to move further into the apartment.

‘’ Y/n/?! Are you done?’’ Yoongi yelled from the hallway.

 ‘’ Give the girl some time, huh? ‘’ A familiar voice called, a voice which you haven’t heard in far too long.

‘’ You’re just saying that because you take the same amount of time Y/n does while getting ready, Minseo.’’ You could hear Jungkook say in the hallway.

‘’ Yeah, don’t think that Jin-hyung doesn’t complain about it.’’ Taehyung added and you could hear the rest laugh, Jin’s voice already speaking over the rest.

‘’Oh is that right?’’ You heard Minseo ask before Seokjin’s voice loudly explained what he meant by his comment. But all of the chatter became a foreign buzz when Yoongi came in. Your eyes left the mirror and immediately locked with his, his gaze sending a shiver down your spine. Neither of you said anything for a few long moments and would have probably continued to stare at each other in silence if not for Namjoon.

‘’ The kids may actually start drinking here if we don’t leave soon. ‘’ He chuckled out, peeking from around the corner of the entrance to the room.

‘’ We’re coming. ‘’ Yoongi called, breaking your gaze to look at Namjoon for a moment.

You closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his neck as he nuzzled into you, sending another shiver down your spine as his hands automatically wrapped around your waist.

‘’ You look so good. ‘’ He whispered, his warm breath brushing against your skin.

You chuckled a little, pulling away a little to have your lips hover close to his but remain untouched.

‘’ You think so?’’ Your eyes strayed from his lips and focused on his eyes. He remained expressionless for a few seconds before his face broke into a laugh, stepping away from you.

‘’ Don’t be a tease. ‘’ He chuckled out.

You were going to shoot back, but a simple glance at the time made you bite your tongue.

When you stepped out into the hallway, Miseo was the first person to pull you into a hug. She was a little taller than you, even if you wore heels. Her dark hair reached past her shoulders and held friendly eyes that never failed to make you smile. You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen her face to face, let alone hugged her.

‘’ Thank you.’’ She whispered, the 2 words heard only by the two of you.

‘’ Did everything work out? Was the hotel okay, the restaurant? Did anybody recogni-‘’

‘’ It was perfect.’’ She cut off your whisperedd worries. ‘’ Everything was  ‘’

You smiled to yourself, glad that her and Seokjin could share a day like that together, uninterrupted. That they got to say a proper goodbye. You squeezed her tight before she stepped away still smiling, squeezing your hand a little again as a sign of sincere gratitude. Then Jin stepped into your line of vision and had you wrapped within his embrace within moments. His chin rested on your shoulder as he whispered his own ‘thank you’ to you, the hushed words slightly muffled by the chatter of the others. You smiled to yourself, glad that it worked out for them, that their night went by unspoilt.

‘’ Long time no see.’’ You whispered, squeezing him a little tighter.

  After that you were all off and away.The chat in the car mainly surrounded their time on tour and the incidents and near-accidents that occurred. How they met fans in the weirdest of places or how amazed they were by the different fan-projects that occurred each time they performed, each venue holding a performance of their own for them.

‘’ But really, how do you think they do it?’’ Hoseok asked, his gaze flicking from you to Minseo and back. ‘’ We can’t agree on one thing. ‘’ He added, his eye roll visible even in the dimly lit car.

Your eyes found Minseo’s and the two of you simply looked at each-other for a moment, chuckling a little. Both of you had seen some fan comments on different sites as well as the statements regarding the official fanchants. Both of you had a fair idea how the projects came to be.

Minseo spoke up first.

‘’ I honestly don’t know.’’ She shrugged, her lips holding back a smile.

Hoseok’s gaze flicked to you but you just shrugged in response, shaking your head.

‘’ I bet there’s a person that tells everyone at the venue, as they’re all lining up to enter.’’ Taehyung said, sitting back in his seat.

Namjoon turned to look at him, disbelief written all over his face.

‘’ Do you really think there’s one person that tells everyone what to do? And they all just listen?’’

‘’ Maybe there’s more than one person telling them…’’ Taehyung added, causing a few sighs and laughs, while the rest rushed in to try and explain how impossible of a task that would be.

In the end,the topic was discussed further, leaving Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook to bet on groupchats while Jimin and Yoongi decided on sites and fanpages. Jin remained undecided, whilst Tae continued contemplating different options.

‘’ Maybe most of them know eachother? ‘’ He asked.

‘’ This club that we’re going to…’’ Jimin started, ignoring Taehyung.

‘’ It’s actually more of a bar. ‘’ You said, softly chuckling at Tae’s suggestion.

Jimin nodded, ‘��� bar, is it crowded?’’

You smiled, realizing what Jimin was asking.

‘’ It’s safe. Its way outside town, basically on the outskirts actually, in the middle of nowhere. I’ve been there before with Yoongi and nobody recognized him. It should be okay. ‘’

He didn’t seem very convinced and you were ready to re-assure him further, but your unspoken words were cut off.

‘’ Really, Jimin-ah. It’ll be okay, don’t worry about it. ‘’ Yoongi said, leaving Jimin smiling a little.

Time passed quickly, filled with more chatter of their tour, with things soon venturing into Seokjin’s dad jokes towards the end of ride.

‘’ This one is a good one, I swear!’’ He yelled, earning a few complaints and grunts.

‘’ I love you dear, but some of your jokes… how should I say this..’’ Minseo said, turning to rest her hand on Jin’s shoulder in a dramatic manner.

‘’ They’re awful!’’ Yoongi blurted out.

‘’ Not all of them. ‘’ Jimin laughed.

‘’ But the majority… ‘’ Jungkook whispered, his comment was met with laughter.

‘’ Really!’’ Jin pressed, ‘’ just listen!’’ He started when the noise level died down a bit.

‘’ What do you call a man with a rubber toe?’’

Silence.

‘’ Roberto!’’

You couldn’t help but snort and cover your face in shame, meanwhile Jimin and Hoseok cracked up while the rest complained with a string of ‘’ seriously..’’ and ‘’ really..’’ but Jin brushed them all away with his own laughter.

Soon enough the car came to a stop, leaving all eager to get out of the suddenly cramped space. With a sigh, you stepped out and without a thought laced your fingers with Yoongi’s the moment he was by your side. Somehow you managed to catch Jimin’s gaze. You softly smiled at him.

Once the bar was deemed safe, all 9 of you were quick to enter and occupy one of the more isolated booths. Although the place was rather big, it wasn’t overly busy with people at the moment; something which was bound to change as the night grew older.

‘’ I’ll get the first round. ‘’ Namjoon said once everybody slid into the booth and took their seats.

‘’ I’ll come with you, ‘’ Hoseok said before addressing everyone, ‘’ the usual, right?’’

There was a chorus of ‘yeah’’s and ‘yes’s. The two were already turning to head for the bar when Jin spoke up.

‘’ Do they sell any food here?’’

‘’ What? Didn’t you eat before we left? ‘’ Joon asked, a little taken back.

‘’ To be honest I wouldn’t mind eating something, either. ‘’ Minseo added and you could see her squeezing Seokjin’s thigh a little, leaving your eyes to venture away from the two.

‘’ Yeah, it was a while ago that we ate.. ‘’ Jungkook added and although his voice was a little muffled by the separate conversations that were going on, the designated waiter apparently heard him.

‘’ Fine. We’ll all get something. ‘’ Namjoon said before turning around, followed by a chuckling Hoseok.

For a few moments you just sat back, enjoying the humming sound of the surrounding conversations, all of your worries pushed deep into the back of your mind. Your lips spread into a small smile each time someone laughed or chuckled. You missed this and now having it back, having it happen, left you with a light heart. Having the boys here, chatting freely without the fear of their words and actions being broadcasted worldwide. Having Minseo here, someone whom you cherished but rarely got to express or show it. Most importantly, having Yoongi here, your sides touching, his hand freely and comfortably resting on your lower thigh.

Everything was okay.

Everything was good.

 ‘’ I’m guessing everything went according to plan? ‘’ Yoongi  suddenly mumbled, turning his head a little to meet your eyes before flicking them away again.

You frowned, not really sure what he meant until you followed his gaze, finding a chatting Jin and a laughing Minseo. You smiled to yourself before meeting Yoongi’s eyes again.

‘’ Yeah, apparently so. ‘’ You whispered.

‘’ I’m glad. ‘’ He said, lightly squeezing your thigh.

A chuckle left your lips as your hand left to rest on his, giving him a small squeeze of your own. ‘’ As am I. ‘’

It wasn’t long before Namjoon and Hoseok came back with the drinks, along with food to everyone’s relief. Everything continued as normal for the next hour or two, but as the night went on and the bar filled with people, your eye’s met with another person. You never saw the guy come in, just caught his eyes once or twice while you were talking to Taehyung at one point. At first you thought that he may be involved with the media, but not once had you seen him with a camera or – less suspiciously – being deeply involved with a phone. Although his face looked familiar, you didn’t really pay much attention to it, figuring that it was just the alcohol clouding your mind. But worry began to bubble inside of you when you also found him staring while you left the booth when it was your turn to buy the next round, your body not being the only one in the crowds of dozen. That’s when you realized that his eyes weren’t just flicking from person to person. Yet no matter how much the guy stared, you knew he wouldn’t try anything. It was obvious that you were with 8 other people, 7 of them being guys. Besides, the bar was busy enough for it to be dangerous for him to even start anything.

‘’ Y/n?’’ Yoongi called, nudging you with his elbow.

You looked at him, finding that all eyes were focused on you.

‘’ What? ‘’ You asked.

‘’ It’s your turn.’’ Jimin chuckled out.

‘’ Oh, right.’’ You said, laughing before shaking your head a little, ‘’ alright. Most likely to be extremely hungover tomorrow morning?’’

‘’Taehyung.’’ An uninterrupted chorus.

The called out member gasped, ‘’ why me?! Jungkook’s the youngest!’’

‘’ But he knows when to stop.’’ Jimin chuckled, patting a smiling Kook’s chest.

‘’ You, on the other hand… ‘’ Jin started, looking away.

‘’ Me!? I’m-!’’

‘’ Just drink.’’ Yoongi laughed, pointing at the laid out shots.

Taehyung sized them up, taking in a deep breath.

‘’ 8 shots.’’ He mumbled, voice a little shaky.

‘’ Maybe 8 is a little mean…’’ Minseo stated, searching for someone that would agree with her.

Namjoon laughed, taking pity on the younger member.

‘’ Fine. Tae, your turn. If your ‘ most likely ‘ also gets a universally accepted answer you get to split the shots with that person. If the answer is mixed… well… We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.’’

The younger was clearly relieved, his change in expression making everyone laugh. 

‘’Most likely to…’’ he started, chuckling. His eyes flicked from face to face before he spoke, ‘’ most likely to not want to drink the shots!’’

‘’Y/n’’ – ‘’ Jimin!’’

You laughed as all eyes turned to Hoseok.

‘’ Jimin? ‘’ Namjoon asked, laughing. ‘’ Why Jimin?’’

‘’ Because Y/n already seems tipsy enough. ‘’ Hobi chuckled, shooting you an apologetic look.

‘’ Well, sorry Tae but you’re gonna have to drink-‘’

‘’ No, it’s alright. ‘’ You butt in, scooting closer to the table so that you could reach the shots, ‘’ splitting it 4-4, right? ‘’

There were a few nervous chuckles before Yoongi spoke up, resting his hand on your back, ‘’ you don’t have to drink it, it’s just a stupid game.’’

You turned to stare at him, ‘’ it’s fine, I got it. ‘’

He rose his hands up in a defensive manner, sitting back, ‘’ alright. ‘’

Tae divided the shots between the two of you, lining them up. ‘’ On 3, okay? ‘’

You nodded at him, taking in a sharp breath before he started the countdown.

The moment all 4 shots hit you regretted downing them. You were already feeling lightheaded and pushing more alcohol into your body was a really bad idea. So you took a time out as the rest continued, soon enough both Kook and Minseo tapped out aswell, leaving the three of you to chat and laugh at the appropriate moments.

After a while, once you picked at some of the leftover food and you started to feel a bit more normal again, you excused yourself to leave for the bathroom.

‘’ Want me to come with you?’’ Minseo asked, already tapping Jin to move so that she could slip past and join you.

‘’ Ah, no no. I’ll be okay. ‘’ You smiled at her before slipping out of the booth, gently pushing Yoongi’s hand from off of your thigh.

As you headed for the bathroom, suddenly a hand wrapped around your arm. At first you thought it may be Minseo, ignoring your reassurances, but the thought quickly left your mind when the hand’s grip tightened too tightly to be labeled as friendly.

‘’ Remember me, darling?’’ A voice growled, vaguely familiar.

‘’ Who the fuc-‘’ You spat, shoving your arm out of the grasp to allow you to turn around. You caught a glimpse of the guy’s face, but not enough for your hazy mind to process and attach a name to the face.

‘’ Left me hanging a few weeks back, babygirl. Imagine my shock when I found you here, surrounded by 7 guys. Tell me, ‘cos I’ve been trying to figure it out the whole night, they all your boy-toys or do you just string some of them along?’’

His grip tightened around your arm so hard that it would probably leave bruises, but you didn’t care. Your mind finally allowed you to realize that this was the man you had caught staring earlier in the night, but also from a different place, a different time. Right now your main priority was to take this guy somewhere where none of the boys could see, leaving no questions to be asked.

‘’ They don’t matter, ‘’ you whispered, somehow managing a tone that was softer than before, ‘’ follow me.’’

Apparently the guy liked your change in demeanor because his mouth just hovered beside your ear again as he whispered a soft  ‘’ Show me how much they don’t matter. ‘’

So you led him away, thankful for how clearly desperate the guy was.

You moved past the people and headed for the exit, hoping to get there before he would grow too suspicious of what you were doing. When you passed the bathrooms, he just mumbled a confused ‘’ Too many people inside for you, darling?’’

As you headed closer for the exit, you tried to remember all that you knew about him. Most importantly, whether he was aggressive or not.

Some of the guys you would leave didn’t play too nice when they didn’t get what they thought they would. Some left behind with simple slurs, while others were a bit more physical in their aggression and some were completely fine with stopping and even made sure to get you a cab safe home. You knew that this guy certainly didn’t fall into the last category, so which one did he belong to? You tried to figure it out but time ran out as the two of you hit the door, your arm still firmly within his grip. You swung the door open and both of you walked through it only to be met with the night’s cold air.

‘’ Well?’’ He asked, mouth still close to your ear.

As soon as you made sure there weren’t any familiar faces around, you rammed your heel into the guys foot and swung your head back as he buckled in, fighting your arm free by twisting his.

‘’ Don’t you ever fucking touch me. ‘’ You spat, stepping away from him.

‘’ You fucking-‘’ He yelled before throwing his head back, laughing.

The sound went through you.

‘’ After the shit you pulled the last time, and now this?! Just fucking wait until I’m done with you. ‘’ But before the guy could so much as take a step in your direction, a voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

‘’ Just fucking try.’’

  Jin.

 ‘’ The fuck is it to you?’’ The guy asked, clearly sizing up his apparent opponent.

You took a step back, not really sure what to do.

The advantage Seokjin had over the guy was clear, not only in size but also in the obvious muscle tone. The other man stood as an insignificant threat.

‘’ Well. ‘’ Jin chuckled, it was a bitter sound that sent a shiver down your body. The threat in that noise alone was enough to make even you think twice.

‘’ You see, I’m here with my other 7 friends, none of who would struggle against you and that girl over there,’’ he paused to point at you, ‘’ is our very close friend. ‘’ Although his words were polite, his tone honestly scared even you.

Somehow, the guy managed to force out a chuckle.

‘’ Ha! She’s just stringling you along! Left me hanging a couple weeks back, she ain’t shit!  You’re better off not being one of the slut’s toys!’’

You didn’t even realize when, but Jin suddenly had the other guy by the scruff of his shirt, pulled up to reach his eye-level.

He got up in his face, voice low. ‘’ Don’t you ever call her, or anyone else, that again. If you so much as look at her again, you won’t get off this easy. ‘’ He let go of the guy, causing him to stumble a few steps back. He was clearly a bit shaken. He looked at Jin, then back at you, as if calculating if his hassle would be worth it. Apparently not, as he just shoved his hands into his pockets and stormed off without sparing either of you another glance.

‘’ Are you okay?’’ Seokjin asked, before stepping up to you to pull you into a hug, ‘’ I saw the guy staring earlier on, but didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t think he’d be stupid enough to touch anyone, but then I saw him grab at you and-‘’

 ‘’ I’m okay. ‘’ You mumbled, nodding against his chest, ‘’ I’m okay. ‘’

A few minutes passed by in silence, interrupted only by the dull hum of the people inside. Eventually Jin let go of you, stepping a bit away to find your gaze.

‘’ Y/n, I know this isn’t the right time to ask but… What did that guy even mean.. who was he?’’

You wanted to disappear. How could you  tell Seokjin, explain, if you couldn’t even tell Yoongi? How could you explain to Jin, when you vowed to not involve anyone else?

  Why did everything always fall apart?

‘’ You know I’m not one to pry, but… You’re not in trouble, are you?’’

You shook your head, avoiding his eyes. Suddenly the alcohol that  buzzed inside of you was no longer as comforting as it was before.

You couldn’t hold back any longer. The guilt was eating away at you and you couldn’t come up with a convincing enough of a lie to dismiss Jin and his worries.

‘’ I messed up Jin… I really messed up. ‘’

You wiped at your face before the tears would become too visible. You really  didn’t need this right now.

‘’ Hey, ‘’ he softly whispered, placing his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them in a comforting manner, ‘’ hey, it’s okay. We can fix it, alright? ‘’

‘’ No Jin, ‘’ you said, forcing yourself to look up at him, hoping that your eyes would express all that you couldn’t say. Hoping to make him realize exactly just how bad it was, ‘’  We can’t. I can’t. ‘’

Jin frowned, silent seconds passing as his eyes took you in, his own drunk mind processing everything. Your shallow breaths, the permanent wrinkle between your brows as you frowned. Your wet eyes.

‘’ What happened?’’ He breathed, his voice was untainted by hesitation.

And you told him. You couldn’t hold back any longer, so you poured your heart out to him.

You didn’t know whether it was the alcohol talking, your head already feeling light  - a faint thudding in your head which signaled a sure hangover, making you all the braver.

 Whatever it was, for the first time you said everything out loud, told somebody everything that had happened.

 You told him about the fight you had with Yoongi and how the two of you didn’t speak at all while they were away, how you thought it was over and fooled around with nobodies but never pushed it into the sex territory.  How you felt a pathetic mixture of relief and guilt when you saw him the night they came back. You told him about your pitfull attempts at trying to talk to Yoongi about everything, to explain, but how each time he would dismiss you. You even told Jin about Jimin coming up and asking if the two of you were alright, clearly suspecting that something was up.

At first you felt guilty, hesitating a few times before Jin would nod a little to encourage you to keep going. But once all was said you somehow managed to feel lighter. Was that right? Should you feel lighter? You didn’t think so.

Jin listened. He didn’t interrupt and his eyes revealed no judgement. He just nodded, signaling to you that he was listening.

A few silent moments between the two of you passed by before he spoke up.

‘’ But you never slept with anyone else?’’

You shook your head no.

You stared at the ground, the buzz of the people inside filled your mind, acting as a distraction. Did you do the right thing? You didn’t want to drag Seokjin into this, not him or anyone else, but was it even a choice at this point? Did you make the right one?

‘’ We all suspected something was up when we were out on tour. ‘’ He sighed.

Your eyes met his, questioning.

‘’ He was stuck to his phone a lot more often than previously…’’ The words hung in the air as Jin rubbed his eyes before taking another deep breath.

‘’ Listen, I’m not saying that what you done was right – because it wasn’t. But it wasn’t right of to leave you like this either. You know Yoongi. Give him a few more days and then try and talk to him about everything that happened, he may be a bit more open to it then. I won’t pry into this either and I won’t mention it to him, but I’ll try and talk to him aswell. ‘’

‘’ Thank you. ‘’ Was all that you managed to say before Taehyung burst through the bar’s door.

‘’ Why are you guys out here?! ‘’ He yelled, turning his head towards the inside of the bar. ‘’ Jungkook-ah, you owe me, they’re outside!’’ He laughed out before turning to look at the two of you again, ‘’ are you two just going to stand there?’’

‘’Tae, you’re going to be so wasted tomorrow.’’ Jin mumbled, approaching the younger to push him back inside. He hesitated before turning to look at you, reaching for your hand.

‘’ It’ll work out somehow. ‘’ His voice was soft, sincere.

You took his hand and followed him back inside.

The rest of the night passed rather awkwardly. You couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched and each time you touched Yoongi, whether it was his leg brushing against yours or your arm touching his, you shifted away from him. Each touch brought your guilt to the forefront and threatened the smile on your lips, the smile you hoped was good enough to not rise questions.

Everything was going so well… Why did things always come crashing down? Why did each of your promises and vows to yourself end up broken, as if they didn’t mean anything?

The questions chased eachother inside of your head all night, most significantly so on the drive home. Most were too wasted or tired to talk, the only noise being the hushed conversation between Minseo and Jin to which nobody else was paying much attention to.

Although your eyes were focused on the car’s window, you could feel Yoongi’s hand hovering above yours, untouching. You knew that he probably noticed you scooting away from him each time you touched during the last hour at the bar.

The first stop was outside of your apartment complex. The two of you whispered quick goodbyes and you squeezed Minseo in an awkward, sloppy hug with promises of seeing eachother soon. The walk upstairs was a silent one and you didn’t exactly know how to treat it. Was he mad? Hurt? Probably a combination of the two you guessed, the thought making you sick. How were you supposed to deal with this, resolve it?

The thought remained unspoken as both of you stumbled into the apartment, leaving your shoes forgotten in the hallway and clothes abandoned on the floor. You both slipped under the sheets in your underwear, you sloppily managing to throw a shirt over your head, too tired and sore to properly get changed. He never spoke up and you didn’t know how to bring it up, so the uncomfortable silence ensued until you somehow managed to fall asleep.

@shoutingink @jeaneteflo @lalechuzaaa @infiresjimin @darkangelssoul @mykookiechimchim @baeni @letters-and-lemons @coletteisaprincess @teddybearmuke @wingedtragedywriter @mrsrealmadrid @jochelle @minsugarkookie @mykookiechimchim @ravencacaw @atlantist5959 @yoong-no @jungcooked @kpaxlyra @connatellohamato @guacj @sashmellouw

I would like to give a quick thank you to @infiresjimin​ due to whos suga/yoongi fic rec’s mention of Pride brought you all here. Honestly, thank you so much <.3 Thank you all for reading, for spreading and for leaving behind comments which I do always read! It honestly means the world to me