#like bruh that's my best friend i wanna spend all my time w her why is she hanging out with YOU

[janegrey9]

HATE getting jealous of my friends having other friends bc i feel like a second grader "that's MY best friend!!!!!!" but like. that IS my best friend!!!!!!! you can't fucking have her!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK

[incorrectsnkships]

OKAY OKAY OKAY! I CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION LAST FUCKING NIGHT! CONNIE THE MOTHERFUCKING SPRINGER IS GAY!

So at first I just thought he was a really confident and comfortable heterosexual, y'know? BUT NOW! NOW!? oh no, no, no!

Reason numbrero uno! He has feminine hips. Straight boys don't strut like that, straight boys don't fucking be flexible like that.

Reason numbrero duex! He says bitch waaay to much. So if you don't know the history of the word bitch, bitch was also used a a gay slur for y'know twinks. You don't see Jean or Levi OR EVEN EREN going around going bitch, bitch, bitch, fucking crazy bitches. Sure maybe once in awhile, but Connie use it like a sister y'know?

Reason numbrero drei! Look at who the fucking hell he's hanging 'round with! Ymir; the fucking bitch lesbian. Christa/Historia; the lesbian or bi girl dude. He's the fucking second lesbian protector (next to Eren). You see that gay ass gay homie grab in like what season 3? Or was it 2? He's friends with Sasha, who does she hang out with most of the time!? Ymir and Historia! Sometimes Jean and Mikasa. Speaking of Jean, he ain't sleek either! Connie hanging 'round with a fucking bi-saster a bi disaster! Not to mention Reiner and Armin! We see him worry about Reiner and Bertholdt when they “missing” asking someone to check on them to see if there alive! Man looking out for his gay homies! Also in one of the games he asks Armin why he spends so much time with Eren, to which Armin shoots back with one of the most gay awakening responses, “Hm well what about Ymir and Historia, or Reiner and Bertholdt?” Like yo.

Reason numbrero shi! He mom picks out gay ass fucking names! Sunny, Martin, Connie. Fucking gay dude. (everyone seems to think Sunny is a girl but judging by there titans I actually think Sunny was a boy dude. That’s just a hunch tho~)

Reason numbrero five! He seems like the kinda guy who would wear jewelry. Not really necessarily gay BUt~ I think earrings would so be he thing, and if he we’re to come out he’d probably start wearing one earring!

Reason numbrero six! Look at the kind of shit this man does! He fucking carried Armin princess style, put him down like a prince, bruh he fucking CHOSE to he CHOSE to. He knew what he was doing. And that one official art where he’s wearing that blonde lopsided wig with makeup on. That dress with the fake boobs in it!

Reason numbrero 7! My mama always say, that if a boy is best friends with a girl he will almost always usually fall for her. Connie is close as HELL with Sasha. And while I LOVE springles. This know discovery is D A W N I N G on me! Connie don’t really seem to show that much interest in women. But not necessarily to men either. And that factor being. I think bby Connie is shy!

Overall I think he’s a great fucking character! I love Connie, but this just made me open a whole new chapter for him. I’m currently rewatching AOT with my mom ‘cause she done wanted to watch it and I couldn’t let her watch that cringey dub so yee. I’ll be paying attention for other Easter eggs and clues. I never researched Connie to much but now that I have I’m made some pretty interesting discoveries! In conclusion Connie Springer is probably fucking gay. SO in other words you were RIGHT! ATTACK ON TITAN IS FUCKING GAY! 😍

( j u s t l i k e m e l o l )

srry for the late reply, but you’ve actually convinced me

mans comes across heterosexual but he definitely had a crush on every single male member of the 104th. literally every one. and like many others, one of the older scouts was his gay awakening. and im not saying that connie had a crush on them or anything, and this is definitely not a ship post between connie and any adult in the show, but im just saying that he admired them. a lot. too much. and had to look away when they got changed in front of him.

“connie why do you offer to go kill titans with captain levi whenever we have a mission?”

“i admire his skills!”

“connie, you do realise that erwin doesn’t have time to have tea with you right?”

“no i know i just wanted to talk about stuff with him. professional stuff. as a soldier.”

“connie, you know that moblit doesn’t need an assistant right? he is the assistant”

“WELL SUE ME FOR WANTING TO BE HELPFUL JEAN-“

he’d simp for armin so hard. every week he has a crush on someone new, and then it goes in a loop. and he’d “practice” kissing too. like he’d occasionally bring the topic up in conversation and then go from there based off of the persons reply. “hey uh, jean, so like- have you had your first kiss yet?” and then jean would tell him no and connie would go full internal gay panic. “o- oh yeah, thas- thas cool, um, well, i havent- had mine either so like- would you wanna practice? it doesn’t count-“

connie would have his first everything with jean and it would be so funny because it just happens all at once. like hed get asked if hes ever kissed someone and hed just glare at jean and be so flustered

connie finds it so difficult to tell romantic and platonic feelings apart and thats why hes fallen for all of his friends

armin: oh, connie, thanks for doing that favour for me! i dont know what id do without you!

eren: wait! hurry, where do they keep the extra blades?!

connie: in the cellar!

eren: great- connie, i love you!

marco: see connie? if you just fold the paper a little more, youll get there :) youre a pleasure to teach and i love spending time with you :)

also why do i feel like connie and marco dated for a little while? not even dated then, had a thing going on for a bit. like besides from jean because he doesnt count, but connies first romantic encounter was with marco, fight me

and i definitely feel like connie went to hange for some advice about his sexuality. he was so confused and liking everyone at the same time, so who else better to go to than the person who tried to convince erwin to start an lgbtq+ youth club right?

but when eren and armin announced that they were officially dating, that was an eye opener for connie and it made him realise that its okay to be yourself

and it took him a while to actually realise that he was gay. hence the fact that hed physically gag whenever someone suggested for him to date sasha, and all those times in the boys changing room that hed have to turn around or leave completely

so yes, i can see where youre coming from, and i agree with you. but if we were to list the people connie has simped for from most-least?

marco

armin

jean

eren

levi (not really simping, more fanboying/celebrity crush)

reiner

moblit (same as levi)

bertholdt

[h2bakugou]

Hiii could u do hc for Baku and todo w/ a gf who wants to be at there house all the time like sleepover’s and after school because her family is really toxic and bully’s her and treats her like shit ( but never physically hurt her ) she acts like everything’s ok if you don’t want to do this plz say no💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟

a/n: hi!! of course love

headcanon: them with a s/o who hates being at their own house

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing, angst

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

Dorms weren’t a thing just yet. So you were currently staying at home. 

You hated home.

It was nothing but a pit of hatred, boiling over with your parents’ distaste for your future. They hated that you wanted to become a hero. They hated that you wanted to throw your life away on some whim.

“You’re wasting your time. You don’t have any talent.”

“You’re pathetic, and that quirk is useless in the hero world.”

“Drop out already, you’re being a real pain in the ass.”

But you didn’t listen. In fact, you did the opposite. You tried even harder.

But that was hard in it of itself.

When you and Bakugou got together, you made every excuse to go over. You felt like you were being clingy but you just didn’t want to be home. You didn’t want to hear your parents tease and bully you for chasing your dreams.

It was often you found yourself hanging out after school, staying for dinner, hanging out on the weekends, studying together, and eventually, after enough persuading from Bakugou, you could spend the night.

“We’re just gonna watch movies!”

“You better leave the door open!” 

“Shut up!” Bakugou yelled back to his mom, bringing you upstairs toward his room. You giggled and walked into his room, now accustomed to his house’s layout.

You opened your book bag to pull out some school work. As you opened your binder, a bunch of ripped papers were staring back at you.

This can’t be happening.

Your parents had taken their frustration with you out on your homework.

You’d stopped by to pick up some spare clothes, and in the meantime, they’d ripped and torn your important homework to shreds.

You sat on Bakugou’s bed, staring at the tattered fragments of what was supposed to be your math and reading homework.

“Hey what happened?” Bakugou asked, looking at the mess of paper.

“I-I don’t know.” You lied. Of course, you knew. But you didn’t want to tell him.

“Don’t give me that shit.” Bakugou turned to look at you. You looked back at him, your eyes brimming with tears. 

“Nothing is wrong, I promise.” You lied again. Bakugou frowned and glanced back at your homework.

“You expect me to believe that you just tore that up yourself?” Bakugou asked. You shook your head.

“It’s just-”

“It’s what? You can tell me.” Bakugou wasn’t the one for comforting, but he could tell when things were bothering you. And if something was making you upset, he was going to beat the shit out of whoever or whatever it was.

“My parents. They don’t like the idea of me being a hero. They must’ve done this while I was getting spare clothes.” You explained, leaning into Bakugou.

“I’ll have my mom make copies on the printer.” Bakugou looked down at his homework. He hadn’t started, so you’d be able to get a nice clean copy.

And then everything clicked. 

“Is this why you always want to come over?” Bakugou asked, not even giving his question a second thought.

“Yeah.” You whispered. As a few tears rolled down your cheek, you felt strong arms embrace you.

“Don’t ever ask me again if you can come over. You come over whenever you want, okay?” Bakugou rubbed your back. You nodded and lifted your head to look at Bakugou.

You smiled at him and poked his nose.

“You’re such a softie.” You said quietly, watching as Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“Only for you, dumbass.”

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Shoto is sort of oblivious. But he knows what it’s like when parents pressure you.

At first, it was mostly just verbal taunts. Your parents would tease you for wanting to be a hero, and tell you that your quirk was pathetic.

But then things got worse.

They wouldn’t physically hurt you, but you wondered if they would.

The yelling and bullying got worse.

It became a daily thing. You’d be trying to make dinner and they’d mess with your things, crumping up your homework, your mom even hid your hero costume one time.

You found it a few days later but you had to make up an excuse as to where it went.

And then you and Todoroki started dating.

You started staying at your house less.

Todoroki was convinced you just liked being with him, and he soon had a full dresser drawer of your stuff, shirts, pants, jackets, you name it, it was in that drawer.

But then Todoroki noticed while you were using the bathroom, a note on your binder.

‘Just give up already, you should be supporting this family not chasing some stupid dream.’

When you got back from the bathroom, you froze, watching as Todoroki read through several notes you had from your parents.

“What are these?” Todoroki asked, looking over at you. You quickly scurried over and took them from him.

“It’s nothing.” You lied, shoving them back into your bookbag.

“They don’t look like nothing.” Todoroki replied. You just shook your head.

“Really it’s-”

“Is something happening at your house?” Todoroki didn’t have much restraint. He cared for you a lot, so he was willing to get to the bottom of things. And if something was happening like what was happening with his dad and him, he didn’t want you experiencing it.

“I-” You paused. You looked down at your lap and sighed.

“My parents don’t think I’d make a good hero. They think I’m just chasing some silly dream.” You explain, not wanting to look up at Todoroki.

Todoroki pulled you into a hug. You rested your head on his shoulder, snuggling into his warmth.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Todoroki questioned. You didn’t know what to say. You just didn’t want him feeling bad for you.

“I don’t know.” Was all you could say. Todoroki hugged you tighter, understanding your pain. How long had you been going through this?

“You’re more than welcome to come over whenever you’d like.” Todoroki pulled away looking at you. You nodded and smiled.

“Thank you.” You thanked him. Todoroki was your escape.

“Do you want some soba?” Todoroki asked, his eyes lighting up.

“I would love some soba.”

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[mini-pretzel]

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love. 

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? 

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? 

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine? 

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room? 

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love? 

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate? 

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to? 

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet? 

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance? 

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? 

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film? 

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle? 

idk

u

tell

me

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world? 

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! 

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number? 

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? 

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work? 

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general? 

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? 

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite? 

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? 

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy? 

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy? 

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? 

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? 

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? 

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them? 

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert? 

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? 

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel? 

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? 

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français? 

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to? 

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home? 

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous! 

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? 

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved? 

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about? 

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment? 

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? 

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been? 

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now? 

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile? 

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot? 

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? 

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? 

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? 

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? 

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone? 

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? 

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl? 

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine? 

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine? 

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? 

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? 

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs? 

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall? 

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes? 

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past? 

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future? 

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? 

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports? 

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets? 

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest? 

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? 

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? 

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree? 

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth? 

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? 

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? 

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? 

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have? 

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. 

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about? 

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot? 

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? 

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry? 

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness? 

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going? 

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.21

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21

yo whats up. before we start, a few things:

yes, adrien and nino’s kiss was before dark cupidyes, adrien knows that him and marinette kissed during dark cupid. marinette told him in ch15even if it wasn’t i doubt adrien would count dark cupid as his first kiss, seeing that he doesn’t remember it

now that thats done, warning for discussions of like...murder in this chapter? they dont actually kill anyone but theyre just like...casually discussing how you would kill someone with x or y. its mostly just ridiculous but there are a few parts that could be considered kind of gross so, tread carefully if needed. (conversation creds to @agrestenoir​, @breeeliss​, @reyxa​ and a few cameos from @chassecroise​ because i basically stole that wild ride of a conversation we were on)

enjoy?

11:24

nino: im pretty sure chat noir was just flirting with me

ladybugfan2020: get it boy would u break up with me for chat?

nino: … yeah probably

ladybugfan2020: cool same

nino: im glad were on the same page

23:57

mari: Im gonna go murder myself in a bowl of whipped cream. Bye

nino: how

ladybugfan2020: are u gonna drown in whipped cream because that would be the best death tbh

nino: i dont think its murder if you kill yourself

ladybugfan2020: i would get a sibling to do it

mari: Bad news alya

ladybugfan2020: or like……………….a hitman hire a hitman to kill you with a bowl of whipped cream

nino: yo since youre dead you dont have to pay them

mari: I dont think thats how that works

adrien: What did I just walk into??

nino: YO HITMAN HIT ME UP WITH SOME MORE WHIPPED CREAM

ladybugfan2020: how would u kno how it works mari?

mari: Hey adrien Just murdering myself with a bowl of whipped cream

adrien: Not possible

ladybugfan2020: um??? says who

adrien: Prove to me you can die by whipped cream Draw me a diagram

nino: if i had to choose a topping to die by id choose hot fudge probably

mari: Ooo

adrien: If you got a tub of whipped cream And like Just hit a person with it With like…the tub That might Kill you I guess?

nino: bruh

ladybugfan2020: but wouldnt u rather choke on whipped cream

adrien: That’s harder? Like you’d have to get it into their mouth

mari: If anyone says anything about kinks I will leave this groupcaht and terminate all friendships

nino: fucking chri st

alya: IM

adrien: Wait wait Ignore mari and her gutter mind

mari: HEY

adrien: Tell me How to kill a person with whipped cream

nino: why? you got someone you want dead? there are easier ways my dude

adrien: Indulge me

ladybugfan2020: k heres the plan u knock them out with the tub of whipped cream theyr not dead but theyr momentarily unconscious then u stuff a bunch of whipped cream in their mouth and up their nose and when they regain consciousness they choke on the whipped cream and die

adrien: Ok Ok so You take the can And beat them over the head Until unconscious

ladybugfan2020: yes

adrien: BUT You fill their nostrils

nino: apparently

adrien: With whipped cream And their mouths

ladybugfan2020: uh huh

adrien: Let it dry Until they slowly

ladybufan2020: dry??????????

adrien: Just suffocate

nino: no no put them in a freezer let the cream freeze

mari: This is not where I was expecting this conversation to go Wait what????

ladybug2020: no u wait until they regain consciousness does whipped cream dry @mari do u have whipped cream we can test stuff with

mari: Why go through all this trouble when you can just snap someones necK?

nino: put them in th e freezer so the whipped cream freezes and retains its shape

ladybugfan2020: because death by whipped cream is the best way to go

nino: itd be like shoving a throat shaped mold down their throat and they cant breath e around it and they die

ladybugfan2020: y would u do that

adrien: No man

mari: What the fukc

adrien: You’d have to like

nino: ok look you cant breathe around a block of cream in your mouth and nostrils eventually youll pass out from lack of oxygen

ladybugfan2020: ye thats teh point of putting whipped cream in their mouths

mari: But then is it death by whipped cream or just suffocation

adrien: No that’s my point

nino: so freezing it would work the best

adrien: …. Wait

ladybugfan2020: the WHIPPED CREAM is doing the suffocation

adrien: It IS death Wait No

ladybugfan2020: so it IS death by whipped cream

adrien: It’s death by whipped cream The whipped cream Caused it …. Hm

nino: yes

ladybugfan2020: ok but y does that working best matter either way

mari: Mmmm now Im thinking about death by chocolate

ladybugfan2020: they die and its death by whipped cream

adrien: Death by chocolate is more complicated

nino: if you take melted chocolate and insert it into your veins

adrien: You can’t beat someone with a Hershey’s bar

ladybug2020: putting them in the freezer would just be extra @ the freezing the whipped cream

nino: you can poison yourself

adrien: I don’t know I think chocolate is too thick for that

ladybugfan2020: about the beating what about this giant ass ones u can buy online for lots of money i dont have adrien might have to provide the murder weapon for this one

mari: I meant death by chocolate cakes adn stuff but ok Good job team

adrien: Oh

nino: the meter and a half chocolate bar al?

adrien: Just buy like… 10000 chocolate cakes

ladybugfan2020: hell yeah nino

nino: i mean… you can shove cake up their nose?  

adrien: Get a pick up truck

mari: Where the actual fuck is this going

adrien: And then just All at once

ladybug2020: nah nah you could do it the same way as the whipped cream

adrien: Drop the cakes on the person All at once

nino: run them over

adrien: Until they die NO That’s not death by chocolate cake That’s death by getting hit with a truck

mari: Alya whatare you even talkling about

ladybufan2020: u put the cake in their mouth after u knock them cold

adrien: Alya what the hell

nino: put cake over their eyes

adrien: Stop knocking them out!

mari: Why is cake on eyes????

nino: so they can pay the boat man and cross the river styx

mari: Youre spending too much time with Adrien

nino: or just throw them in the freezer

mari: Can we not just eat dessert?????

ladybugfan2020: do u kno how hard it is to put a body in a freezer

nino: not that hard

mari: How the fuck do you know??????

nino: alyas little sisters locked me in a freezer once when i brought them to her moms work it sucked man

ladybug2020: boy that was a body sized freezer

adrien: It’ll be like that scene in Tangled

mari: jfc

ladybugfan2020: u gotta have the strength to lift like,,, a pERSON

adrien: Where Rapunzel tries to put Flynn in the dresser

mari: All my friends are serial killers

ladybufan2020: thats hard bruh

nino: not if you put your back into it fireman carry

adrien: Ok question What do you do AFTER you put it in the freezer? At least if you chop a body up

nino: whoa there sweeney todd

adrien: You just drain the blood

ladybugfan2020: too messy

adrien: Fill a bag with spices Put the parts in And just throw it out

nino: just roast it though???? dude, embrace the sweeney

ladybugfan2020: no but thats not death by whatever sweet you wanna kill them with thats just killing them

nino: like if i throw it in a fire, itll smell like shit, but you can pass it off as burning trash or something

adrien: Where would you even do that? That’s so conspicuous

nino: first of all sweeney todd did it in londo n second like...farmland?

adrien: Yeah Sweeney Todd isn’t real though

ladybug2020: ah yes the farmland in paris

nino: well drive out to the farm with the body

adrien: Who are you going to blame it on when they find a burned body???

nino: theres no one around its farmland theres like 2 people they wont find a burned body

adrien: The suspect list can fit on a post it note Do you know how they identify burned bodies? We’ve watched detective shows together, right? I didn’t hallucinate that???

mari: Didnt this start with me saying I was gonna murder myself in a bowl of whipped cream

adrien: Dental records Nino

nino: just do it at a vacant farm dude

adrien: You’d have to like Pull the teeth out THEN brun them Messy but the job gets done

mari: I needed to know like -2 things I learned tonight This morngn

nino: messy???? YOU CHOPPED THEM UP

mari: This conversation is over 10 minutes long and thats about 9 minutes too long

adrien: And honestly? If you’re going through this? Just dissolve the flesh

ladybugfan2020: gross

nino: ohhh acid bath

adrien: Well you decided to murder someone Al It’s going to be gross

ladybugfan2020: where do u get acid tho cause thats a lot of acid

adrien: I’m sure you could find it somewhere

mari: Ok Im ending this conversation befor esomeone googles something they regret

ladybugfan2020: call up lb and cn we now have a solid plan for defeatin g hawk moth just beat him up with whipped cream

mari: Im going to bed I hate all of you

nino: night dude dont let the bedbugs bite

ladybugfan2020: or the murderers

mari: Fuck off

 2:46

adrien: I’ve been watching so many cop shows I could probably get away with murder

ladybugfan2020: HOW to get away with murder lmao im hilariou s

nino: yo consider this going the fuck to sleep

adrien: One more episode

nino: im gonna show up at your house and force you to go to bed

adrien: What are you going to do cuddle me to sleep?

nino: yes

ladybugfan2020: hi get a room

adrien: </3

 4:19

mari has renamed this conversation to “fuck you all”.

mari: I dreamed about murder and literally had blood all over me I hat e you peopl e

 6:48

nino: nice carrie style

 7:02

adrien has renamed this conversation to “out damned spot”.

 7:14

ladybufan2020: what a nerd

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt. 15

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

wow has it been A Week

i have two tests in a few hours and i have so many notes left and calc problems and i'm dying so have this!

there are two links in the chapter and i know you're probably like. why would i click those? i mean i wouldn’t trust me either, but i swear they're fine. ignore the first if you'd like, but if you don't click the second you're probably going to be fairly confused? you'll see what i mean

this is extra long because i'm feeling extra procrastinate-y

(sorting hat = nino, cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub = alya, dipshit = adrien, ahHHH = mari)

i'm off to fail. enjoy~

3:23

sorting hat: what the fuck was i thinking were french wed go to beauxbatons oh also @alya akuma attack

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: but thats bORING wait what fuCK WHEN I FINALLY DECID E 2 SLEPE

sorting hat: please dont leave the house im too tired

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: …. nino what the fuck is thsi akuma

sorting hat: why would i know???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: bc i dont

sorting hat: love that 3 in the morning logic

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: all thats on the forums is pics of it stacking cars??????????? @hawkmoth wyd

sorting hat: being a dick probably

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok tru oooo something new in the inbox of the ladyblog make ur bets now

sorting hat: i say random theory

dipshit: Fanart duh

sorting hat: bro!!! youre up!! <3

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: gm marshmallow my love

sorting hat: howd you wake up? did the akuma get close to your house and finally make noise or osmething?

dipshit: Oh I never went to bed

sorting hat: …

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: what the SHI T SLEEP BOI

dipshit: Trust me, I would’ve if I wanted to

sorting hat: mari is the only one of us with any sense

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: shes a smart one

dipshit: Yeah Anyway what’s in the inbox

sorting hat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRr9NG7RE0

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: thank u bab much appreciated but also ur a nerd anyway its wait waht ths hit hlyk fucik

sorting hat: uhhhh alya you ok??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i S HTIS  AK JOKE IMS TCARED TO CPIICK IT

dipshit: Well what is it??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: IS T A FICKUING VIDOE WITH CHANT OIRS  FACE AS THE THUMBLNAIL FIFS:DKLFJ:SDLKFJQWIUE:C:KJGK:SJ

sorting hat: wait like like he shot it himself??

dipshit: That’s some dedication is it like mid-akuma fight or something

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ahhhHHH I DON TKNOW I HAVNE TWATCHED IT YET its itS THE M TEHY METION ME MOM HOL Y FCUK i can t;breakt h im oginna die nsow WAITN I NEDD TO POST

sorting hat: please dont die on us yo send me the link fam

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DINOSUAR SCREEEECH  

dipshit: Did you mean pterodactyl screech

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THISNK I CAN SPELL THAT NR

dipshit: Honestly I didn’t even spell it right I had to use spellcheck

sorting hat: smh fake fan i bet you cant even name ten dinosaurs

dipshit: Do you want me to try???

sorting hat: no no i do not not right now maybe after school

dipshit: Does spelling count

sorting hat: yup scientific names only too bro no long neck bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ladyblog.tumblr.com/post/324367743289/update-from-the-favs ICAHT STOP YELLING IM SO GETITN G INTORUBLE FOR BEIGS O LOUD BUT HOLY SHI T

sorting hat: dang they look exhaust ed and that akuma really is just stacking cars

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i need a flashing gif thatj us tsays LADYNOIR IS CANON

sorting hat: bro thi s is so accurate to staying up until 3 am tho

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: HE CALLED HER PERFEC T

dipshit: Missed pun opportunity Could’ve said purrfect

sorting hat: im kicking you out

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: MARHSMALLOW I LIVOE U also i think theyr right about it being a kid

sorting hat: but like lb said its really late

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i mean tru

sorting hat: it looks like theyre building a castel or somethng

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: a fortress!!!

sorting hat: yeah!!!

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: to protect them from d r a g o n s or scary things

sorting hat: yo it couldve just been a kid with a nightmare if you by that

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: god whne the girls have a nightmare its ROUGH sometiems nothing will get them back to bed cant blame them i mean one of  the things that helps them is drwing nightmares fuk i woudlnt want to go back to sleep either

dipshit: The akumas building a fortress huh?

sorting hat: idk man we arent talking to the akuma ask chat

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh yeah no that failed

sorting hat: ????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: he tried to talk to them and they just like picked him up and threw him away some1 submitted a video rip chat noir

dipshit: Sounds painful

sorting hat: rip in pepperoni anyway if you look at the akuma theyre sorta dressed up ya know

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i wanna say ur projecting the castle thing but ur right that thing in their hair looks like a crown

dipshit: Huh you’re right

sorting hat: man i need to sleep akumas are bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i just watche dthe video for the sixth itm e im gnna memorize it

sorting hat: babe please if youre gonna memorize something you should wait for a better vidoe

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THINK THEYLLY SEND A NOTHER

sorting hat: idk why not they sent thsi one

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT FAM oh snap here come the amgic ladybugs there the y go ayyyy

sorting hat: sleep

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok godo plan see u in a few hours 2 cry

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

ahHHH: I cannot bleieve you used our friends to stop an akuma

dipshit: Can you please let me live

ahHHH: I cant believe you sent taht video to alya

dipshit: Did you see how happy she was?????

ahHHH: Oh my god Im going to bed Please actually sleep???

dipshit: Uhh No promises but I’ll try my best

ahHHH: You better Night kittne

dipshit: See you in a few hours Night bugaboo

7:58 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i want to die

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub has changed their name to ladynoir keeps me living

ladynoir keeps me living renamed this conversation to “life is meaningless”.

dipshit: Optimistic

ahHHH: Fuck m y life and efverythign in it

  16:03

ladynoir keeps me living has renamed this conversation to “what the fUCK”.

ladynoir keeps me living: what the fuc k what thif cuk what teh kcuk WHAT THE ICUK NINO

sorting hat: babe im standing right next to you im processing gimme a fucking second

ladynoir keeps me living: ... 

sorting hat: ok i had a second what

ladynoir keeps me living: whaT ETH FCUK YOU TWO REPSOND YOU FUCKERS BOLTED WHAT HTE UC K

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG WHAT THE FUC K MARI!!!!!!!!!!! ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and dipshit

ladynoir keeps me living: answer uR GODDAMN PHON E I M GODING HUNT U DOWN I F U DONT RESPJNOD  

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: did i just see what i htink i saw correction did alya and i see what we think i saw bro adrien agreste are you here hellllooooooo shit dude

PM between sorting hat and ahHHH

sorting hat: dude dude what was that how long has that been a thing broski marinette goddammit guys

PM between ahHHH and dipshit

dipshit: Uh I’m really sorry about that It just Happened

ahHHH: Its fine Youre fine Its fine Were all fine

dipshit: Are they…?

ahHHH: Yup I have So many messages Oh my go d

dipshit: I’m so sorry

ahHHH: Its both our faults or something

dipshit: You want Alya or Nino

ahHHH: Uh lets do this the simplest way you go nino i go alya Good luck

dipshit: Same to you

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: What

ladynoir keeps me living: ok deep breaths do not what me i saw that nino saw that you lived it

ahHHH: lived what

ladynoir keeps me living: U JUST KISSED ADRIEN AGREST E

ahHHH: um

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

dipshit: Hey Nino What’s up

sorting hat: ha ha very funny alyas having a cow but seriously did you and marinette kiss

dipshit: Uhh I mean yes Yes we did There was lip touching going on there It was an accident

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: It was an accident!!!!

ladynoir keeps me living: an aCCIDENT

ahHHH: Were both really tired and we were standing next to each otehr and idont know what happened

ladynoir keeps me living: what did u fall asleep on each others lips or something?!??!??!?!?!? accident?!??????

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: an accident

dipshit: I kind of Wasn’t thinking

sorting hat: really fucknig smooth bro

dipshit: Sue me

sorting hat: no thank s are you two dating now or?

dipshit: No we’re not

sorting hat: but you like marinette before you say no please know i just saw you lock lips and i also am your best friend and also have eyes

dipshit: Ok yes I like her

sorting hat: so are you gonna ask her out

dipshit: Uhh ... ...no I don’t think so

sorting hat: bruh why not??

dipshit: It’s complicated

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: i hate both of u ur actuallt he worst

ahHHH: Im sorry???

ladynoir keeps me living: MAKE OUT ALREADY

ahHHH: Alya stop!!!!! We arent dating or anyhting

ladynoir keeps me going: what hte fUCK why not!!!!! u kissed!!! u 2 talk all the time u make each other laugh u spend a ton of time together u like each other ur dating

ahHHH: Al Im not dating adrien!!!

ladynoir keeps me going: ok fine but u could

ahHHH: By that logic I could also be dating you and nino

ladynoir keeps me going: yes yes u could be

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: complicated??? what about it is complicated?????? you like her she likes you if you havent figured that out by now i dont know what to tell you dude other than maybe all that homeschooling made you worse at social interaction than we thought cause its freaking obvious man like really really obvious

dipshit: It really is complicated, I swear

sorting hat: what?? do you like someone else too or something?

dipshit: Yeah Actually I do

sorting hat: who? ladybug still?? i mean same ladybug is fucking awesome and ive been in a room with teh two of you chemistry and awkwardness but like dont take this the wrong way dude but what are your chances? im not gonna pull an alya and say lb and cn are a thing but how well would dating a superhero really work out? you like mari mari likes you youve already kissed once you guys are so close already might as well just change the relationship status on facebook you know? adrien? ok well think on it dude ill be here if you wanna talk

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: Its not that simple

ladynoir keeps me living: yes it is? do u like him? yes does he like u? yes did u like kissing him? im gonna guess yes is it the asking out part ur scared of cause i can totally bug him into asking u out first

ahHHH: No its not that its just I Its kinda complicated

ladynoir keeps me living: ??????

ahHHH: I cant really

ladynoir keeps me living: mari u ok?? do u need me to come over cause i can

ahHHH: No its ok Im fine

ladynoir keeps me living: did adrien do smth do i need to beat him up

ahHHH: No! No its not him Adrien is perfect

ladynoir keeps me living: sap

ahHHH: Just Give me a minute Ok?

ladynoir keeps me living: ill wait for u to text first

ahHHH: Thanks

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

dipshit: So

ahHHH: So

dipshit: That happened

ahHHH: Yup

dipshit: Nino asked if we were dating

ahHHH: Alya did too

dipshit: Mari I like you a lot

ahHHH: And I really like you too But theres a but right?

dipshit: Yeah You too?

ahHHH: Yeah

dipshit: I think we should just Wait? A little bit?

ahHHH: I was thinking the same thing Not necessarily a long time just Some Time

dipshit: Exactly I mean I’ve been in love with you for months honestly But there’s…

ahHHH: Same here I’ve had a huge embarrassing crush on you since the beginning of the year

dipshit: Glad we’re the same level of awkward and embarrassing

ahHHH: That wasnt our first kiss By the way Just Thought you should Probably know at this point

dipshit: Wait what?

ahHHH: Dark Cupid? You um I needed to break his hold on you and I remembered class and there had been something about a kis sbreaking a spell so Yeah You didnt remember so I didnt say anything Maybe I shouldve I jsut felt Really awkward about it??? Sorry

dipshit: Oh Um

ahHHH: IM REALLY REALLY SORRY

dipshit: It’s fine!!! Really it’s fine It sounds like it’d be awkward to bring up But thanks for telling me I appreciate it

ahHHH: Of course Um Im gonna do some homeowrk so I can go to bed early tonight Hopefully Hawkmoth will leave us alone

dipshit: Oh god I hope so I can’t do another late night That was terrible

ahHHH: That video was awful But it was fun You might sway me on this social media thing yet kitty

dipshit: :3c

ahHHH: Youre the w o r s t

dipshit: I know Let me know if you have any problems with chem or physics I did the homework while she was going over the stuff from yesterday

ahHHH: Its unfair how smart you are

dipshit: Promise you’ll ask for help??

ahHHH: Yeah I promise Dont you have piano today?

dipshit: Yup and I should probably go get ready for that Good luck my lady

ahHHH: You too kitten