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lorenzozurzolocanruinmylife · 24 days ago

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Until fate do us together -Theo Nott x f.reader

t.w. Light drugs, fainting and I think nothing else but lmk if I should add something

You didn’t think of yourself as a mysterious person, not really. Anyone could look at your face and know exactly what you were thinking in that split second.

So it was admittedly hard for you to keep a secret, not because you had a big blabbering mouth, perhaps you thought of yourself as the perfect embodiment of loyalty, just as your house Hufflepuff wanted. But your face couldn’t hold in any emotion, no matter how hard you tried to fight to keep up your poker face.

The only secret you had never ever showed was the one that kept you up at night, the one that made your blood pump through your veins faster than ever.

You liked someone.

It wasn’t anyone, it was Theodore Nott, heir of one of the most illustrious and respected (and feared) families in the wizarding world.

Theo, as he preferred to be called, was a sight for sore eyes, he had some sort of gloomy look that paradoxically could heat up the fire within every girl, even the most uptight.

As of now that’s really all you could tell about him, because even though you were extremely extroverted and nice with everyone you never dared to interact with him. How could you? You didn’t trust yourself, you just knew that it would have taken one look to let him know loud and clear that you could’ve died for him.

You didn’t wanna take that chance, because if he rejected you, or really just ignored you, it would have destroyed your self confidence and not only, but also your safe place. Because after all those years that you spent fantasizing about him and you together, you had built such comforting reality that was just way better than the one you were actually living in.

This whole thing was ridiculous, and you knew it, but it became something too important for you to fumble in just one shot, so you just ignored him.

You avoided him in any possible way, anytime you had a class together you asked the professors if you could change your schedule, anytime there was a party or an event in which he could have been you didn’t go, you avoided each and every member of his friend group because you didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

But then again fate never lets anyone decide for themselves.

In an awfully quiet night in the greenhouse you had just finished setting all the plants and feeding them when you thought you deserved a treat for your hard work, and because of the stressful week you had just been through. So you reached in one of Hufflepuff’s secret “pots” for some…you guess it. You rolled the blunt and light it, you were pretty sure no one would come at the greenhouse at this hour, everyone probably was in their common rooms already so you didn’t even think of closing the door with some sort of charm.

Your relaxing moment was interrupted when you heard the door snap open and two male voices, you hid under one of the tables as fast as you could. To say your heart was exploding was a euphemism, this had never happened to you during your gardening sessions, not once!

You couldn’t make out the voices anymore because of how much anxiety was paralyzing your senses, all the worst scenarios came to your head: maybe they were Professor Snape and Dumbledore, it was definitely them, who else would come here right now?! And when they find you??? What would have happened? You surely were gonna get expelled! Or worse…sent to Azkaban, BUT YOU WERE TOO YOUNG TO GO TO AZKABAN!!!

Million thoughts were running around in your head when four feet stopped in front of the table under which you were hiding, and slowly the table cloth was gonna expose you to the two. When it had been pulled away you fainted under there, with your fingers still holding the blunt, the whole scene unraveled before the eyes of Lorenzo Berkshire and Mattheo Riddle.

They came here to steal some pot just like you did, when suddenly they not only smelled it as if someone was already smoking but also heard some shuffling noises, and that’s how they found you.

Now they were baffled, and also slightly holding their laughter.

“Mate…c’mon stop laughing, we must have scared her to death” “Suits her for being such a naughty student! Smoking pot in the greenhouse…without inviting us?!” Mattheo answered still drying some of his laughing tears. “So what should we do now?” Enzo looked at Mattheo as if he actually trusted him with the whole situation. “I know how to do cpr” Mattheo smirked “I bet she wouldn’t mind it, am I right babydoll?”, when he turned to look jokingly at you he saw you slowly batting your eyes.

You opened them and here you were, on the Greenhouse’s floor holding a joint, you looked up and you saw them, and as if you saw a ghost your face without missing a beat turned white.

“Woah woah breathe, don’t worry he was just joking” Enzo said getting on his knees so he could be at your eye level, putting a hand on your shoulder to steady you.

“Yeah don’t worry love, I definitely would have bought you dinner first”, and with that you chuckled shyly.

“Oh good Godrick You guys nearly gave me an heart attack, I thought you were Snape and Dumbledore” they both laughed, and after that they introduced themselves.

You decided to share the joint with them to have a laugh about what happened, even though this whole interaction was far from your “Slytherin avoidance” plan, but you were enjoying yourself way too much to shy away.

“So do you come here a lot to…you know?” Mattheo asked “Well I do help a lot around here, and I know where everyone hide their stuff, so like once or twice a week I come here and just chill out”.

“From the next time you have to invite us too, we’re now your two personal smoke buddies” you giggled at what Enzo said, “Anyways it’s really weird how we never shared any class, and I know for sure we have some classes with Hufflepuff, because half of the girls in the grade hate my guts” Mattheo said making you feel a bit uneasy, because you knew perfectly why you never had a single class together.

“Yeah right, so it has to be you that is hiding huh? Are you trying to ignore Slytherins for some reason?” “Yeah Enzo it’s years I’ve been trying to not see your face and you still found a way to jumpscare me!”.

The door snapped open again, and the three of you all tried to see who it was, but “You tossers where the hell are you hiding? We’ve been waiting for a fucking hour, you didn’t have to smoke it by yourselves!”. Possibly your heart started beating faster than before, this wasn’t just a scare this was your personal nightmare.

You tried to find a way out without being noticed, Mattheo and Enzo were standing up, you looked up at them and without even thinking you stood and hurriedly told them “It was such a pleasure meeting you guys, I- I gotta go, bye!”, and you sprinted out of there.

Theo looked at you throughout the scene and remained speechless, “Who the hell was that? And why have I never seen her before? And why was she here with you guys?” Mattheo walked towards Theo clapping a hand on his shoulder “Theo Theo Theo, the less you know the better, let’s get going Berkshire” “As you wish princess” just like that the three of them went back to their dorm.

“So are you guys gonna tell me who that was?” “Her name’s y/n and we don’t have any classes in common” Enzo finally answered the now impatient Theo, “it’s such a shame though, I wouldn’t mind seeing that pretty face sometimes” said Mattheo.

As you tried to sleep you just kept thinking of the incredible coincidence that had happened that night, how this was the first time you and Theo were so close, how his voice was so so so deep and just…sexy.

You heated up just with the memory of it, that fueled your fantasies in an astonishing way.

The next day you had just finished charms class with Ravenclaw and you were headed towards the great hall for lunch when you felt two pair of arms circle your neck at the same time. “Good morning y/n! Found you again, maybe it’s destiny trying to tell us something, what do you say?” “Ugh Mattheo please can you not harass her? And then you ask why we always hang with the same people” Mattheo sticked out his middle finger without even looking at Enzo. “So we were thinking if you wanted to come to our party tonight?” “I get it, I get it, you think you found your new pusher, is that all I am to you guys? I thought what happened yesterday was a real bonding experience…maybe I was wrong” you tried to pretend to be hurt while also trying to avoid answering to their invitation. “Oh come onnnn you know you’re more than that, you’re cool and we want you to meet the group” “please we desperately need someone new or I will blow my brains out! Plus you’ve never been to a Slytherin party before, because trust me darling, I would’ve remembered you” Mattheo winked at you. “Flattery isn’t going to make me say yes” “and what will?” Enzo asked right after “ummm I don’t know guys, I-“ you were going to say something when through the corner of your eyes you saw Theo. He started appearing behind them and walking in their way, which meant…your…way, “I- I’m really really hungry- I can’t even think straight! I’ll let you know after lunch, okay? Okay! Bye guys!”. And just like the day before you cowardly escaped, really embarrassing.

“What the?” “I know right why does she always seem to be running out of time at some point?” Mattheo and Enzo were interrupted by Theo “who were you talking to?” “Y/n, it’s crazy as soon as you approach she has to go away” Enzo said out loud what everyone was thinking.

“Are you sure you’re not the same person? Because I’ve never seen you two in the same room” Mattheo said trying to peel off some sort of mask off Theo’s face, and he just slapped his hand.

“Very funny, really. And what were you talking about?” Theo asked while trying to look for you in the river of people moving towards the great hall. He was starting to be intrigued by you, he had never seen you before, never even known about your existence and now you were merely a presence whenever there was his own, he didn’t know if it was starting to get on his nerves or to challenge him in to this game of catch.

“Nothing much we thought it would be cool if she came to the party tonight” “Do you have a thing for her?” Theo looked suspiciously at Mattheo who was suddenly so hung up on this girl. “Well she’s pretty yes but mostly she’s really nice and chill, you know…a nice addition to the group” he stopped as if to meditate to say or not the next thing “but I mean…I definitely wouldn’t mind” Enzo facepalmed and they found their way to the rest of the group who was already sat and dining.

You on the other end of the Hall, were trying to think of a plan, because you sure as hell weren’t gonna go to that party.

Although you found it flattering that they had known you for just one day, barely, and still thought to invite you, still the only real problem was dealing with Theo. Not in a million years you would be able to go through a conversation with him, let alone spend a whole evening in his presence.

You were so hung up on all these thoughts creating a vortex of paranoia and anxiety in your head that you had lost your appetite, so you decided to just leave and go spend some time in the library that was certainly empty since everyone was here.

And you just craved to be alone for just one second.

Arrived at the library you took a random book out of your bag and opened it at an even more random page, because reading was just your disguise.

Part of your secret was that whenever you felt uneasy or anxious you would just space out and dream about Theo, and that’s why it was so important for you to conceal it, the whole thing. Throughout all the years that you had been admiring Theo this daydream scenario grew more and more, and it always brought you peace and you wouldn’t have traded it with nothing else, not with Mattheo and Enzo’s friendship, not with hanging out with Theo, hell, not even with his friendship. You just didn’t want to disappoint yourself, because what if in reality he would just find you annoying or viceversa? What if he thought you were one of the many ridiculous fan girls? You wanted to stick with your dreams because they never they were too comfortable, and you couldn’t.nor.wouldn’t.trade.that.

As you were completely zoned out, two book shelves away Pansy Parkinson was desperately crying hiding from everyone because she figured, as well as you did, no one would be in the library at this hour.

So without knowing that someone actually was in there, she let herself get lost in sobs and snotty whines, very loudly so much so that at one point you got distracted by them and feeling sorry for whoever was so upset you, slightly annoyed, decided to check on them.

You knocked on the book shelve as if to ask for permission “Hey…is everything alright?” she immediately passed an elbow on her nose to dry it off, feeling embarrassed almost mortified. “Mind your fucking business, will you?” she abruptly answer, and at that you wanted to slap yourself and damn your stupid nosy empathy, so before even seeing who was behind the shelf you started to go back. “No- wait, sorry” she said regretting her impulsively rude ways. So you turned back and finally saw who was the mysterious crier and you thought to yourself -what a fucking coincidence- once again. “Sorry I didn’t mean to pry, or overhear this, I should have minded my business…but here” you handed her a tissue and she gave you a weak smile “thanks, and I’m the one who should be apologizing, I came off way too harsh while you were just being nice”. “May I?” you pointed on the spot on the floor beside her “Go ahead” “Do you want to talk about it?”, Pansy had never seen you before, which was basically impossible since she knew everyone, and for one second she thought that maybe you were an angel summoned to support her, came disguised as a regular hufflepuff girl.

She started to explain what had made her so upset, her secret crush Angelina Johnson had found out about this infatuation and humiliated Pansy by rejecting her in front of the Great Hall, so she just ran to hide in here, never having felt so weak in her life.

“She said that I was a filthy slytherin asshole and that she’d rather be with Filch than to ever consider being with me” you hugged her and you started to tear up a bit with her, also kind of relating to her because that was your biggest fear, and you would be just as devastated, if not more, if Theo ever said something like that to you. “She’s clearly blind, because you are probably the hottest girl in school and you are such a catch and if she doesn’t get that than she’s just daft”, she hugged you back twice as tight. “I heard that there’s a party tonight, you should go, dressed up with a great makeup on and let her know that you don’t care in the slightest of her objectively stupid opinion” “you are so right, we’re definitely going” we? “We? As in…you and her?” She looked at you with a stare that meant -are you for real- “No girl me and you”.

“Oh no no I have so much to study I can’t- really” “no please come on, you have to come with me, we will have so much fun, if you don’t come I will stay in my room and cry all night looooong” she prayed you with a really pouting face.

You were doomed.

There was no possible way back.

Pansy had been very persuasive, at least more than Enzo and Mattheo, but really you were just too gullible and manipulable.

It really seemed as if fate wanted you and Theo to meet, which basically means that it wanted for you to end up just like Pansy, maybe it would have made you bond even more, more plausibly it would have made you transfer schools and country.

Let me know if you’d like a pt. 2🤠

#slytherin boys #theo nott #theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theo nott x reader #slytherin boys x reader #theodore nott x you #mattheo riddle #enzo berkshire #pansy parkinson

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon

↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡

5k words | bullet points

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff

⌈ ten

— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.

most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning

and don’t really get what he’s all about

or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top

acting peculiar

finding him kind of hard to gauge

some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad

they seriously wonder what you see in him

down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees

as it should

ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him

he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes

his personality is very approachable to you

and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits

and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through

so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength

he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure

being far wiser than his age suggests

you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person

spending so much time with you

in the most personal way he can

he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand

wakeboarding and playing badminton

his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious

it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then

and that you have been around his home city as well

getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies

renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have

this kissing is gonna be so romantic

who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in

except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!

with seemingly no effort

ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day

he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener

he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun

you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny

everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair

ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock

and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present

said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory

because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it

what’s not to love about a portable blanket

of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets

mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic

and not just for insta

you snuggle a lot generally

ten is always available for affection

and accepts all PDA

he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know

remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can

and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist

or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment

time for dance is a must

oh my god ten is so good at all of this

although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres

tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well

don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!

vamos

so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff

that escalates into wild, passionate fucking

which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises

you poor sore souls

ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over

favorite position? full nelson

if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe

this is not for the faint of heart

sex with this guy is extra cardio

and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later

with our girl lisa

there. i said it

miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow

i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be

steamy sex life with ten very recommended

⌈ kai

— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.

to be straightforward with you

he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness

to give you an idea of the scale

mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time

but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms

those sharp moves did not go unnoticed

he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day

jesus christ

if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested

his phone would be blowing up with contracts like

and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check

and taemin’s

the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai

i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with

this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something

if he likes you he REALLY likes you

and he will be the one showing initiative

because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something

although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day

seoul would be able to found its own village

kai town

where like 70% of the population is pregnant

but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person

seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district

where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids

if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it

does he have a thing for milfs or something

that thought just came to my mind

anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink

fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt

going raw at the gym together

him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker

cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you

walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive

and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg

we know he’s all-round amazing

kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime

and yes innocent chilling

...unless you’re in the mood for something else

up to you

anyway

sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything

on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature

kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener

he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t

he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed

yes he is extremely caring and invested

kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you

if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.

kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable

i think you get what i mean by that

and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing

you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships

outside influences aren’t to be underestimated

and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others

a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason

standing up for you also means saying no

to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw

that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix

kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend

that’d be exhausting and beside the point

kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you

i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you

guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so

but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something

⌈ taeyong

— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.

he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy

things um from the internet

while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is

and you thought it would be something nsfw

i got you fooled

did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube

taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated

this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know

anyway

sea shanties

bopping to it all day since he just heard it

singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does

he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever

asking you why shanties are back in fashion

(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)

planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not

maybe your favorite shanty

featuring fast-pace rap and all

creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him

palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks

he’s hilarious i swear

taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine

as he says: my happiness is your happiness

watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves

taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack

prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot

how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted

it’s like he’s peter pan or something

especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you

yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship

and guess who wears the pants

that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it

or wait

not for long actually because they come off um physically

but not metaphorically

because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh

your favorite reserved spot

he loves it

taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous

mister lee got a sexy mama

and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him

but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think

all there is... is being flustered

baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then

and give you some ideas

like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that

baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome

but most things you find out for yourself

by being a little braver with him you know

you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel

will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!

jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway

i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”

you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business

it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie

this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling

how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way

you’ll lose count of it

and just how wet you’re gonna be

is a thing for the history books

taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent

so great sex is obviously in his repertoire

i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week

you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting

but taeyong gets down to business

one glance is enough

⌈ lucas

— motto: the hottest couple around.

ah, big boy

you really got this man’s attention

doing nothing much at all really

he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends

carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog

yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye

they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning

or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit

anyway

the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants

lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself

with more good food, movies, games

fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out

he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him

he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because

to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister

imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place

fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly

making you lose a round

obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins

mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map

let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas

which is definitely a successful plan of the leader

yukhei is in paradise

jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home

don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence

emotionally, physically

a gentle but persistent giant

he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested

if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on

he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you

not gonna lie

your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots

his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets

when he sees lucas hanging out with you

with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that

looking like your guardian angel

man, xuxi really does

pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months

and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best

and big big hugs of course

you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you

he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it

because you deserve that treatment

which means he will come over very very often

yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there

underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you

yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around

his brain is like: “gotta be with her”

on repeat

he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible

no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline

i really pity your ex

i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts

but lucas is a special case

he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him

i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright

⌈ mark

— motto: two nerds in love.

how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean

with a tendency toward bean

and flicking the bean

you know

cutting right to the chase are we

mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can

and defeating his awkwardness

because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it

and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew

how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit

back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing

he does his best and always looks for room to improve

while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in

that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other

lucky you

and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you

that’s so nice

he can play it while laying down and shit

while singing

not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading

we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam

are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh

mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay

or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand

mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned

he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with

having a good time

as often as his schedule permits

you really have to make use of your time together

this man might as well the busiest idol out there

and you are no different because birds of a feather

you’re both mr. and ms. independent

out and about very often

so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season

or wait mark always has a comeback going on

which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for

which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM

sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you

a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need

since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well

but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto

who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed

in case you are feeling possessive as well...

...you might have to fistfight yuta

to be able to be with mark

who is basically property of osaka at this point

yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is

unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life

but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by

we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable

you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta

which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory

bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much

regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge

so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified

he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him

the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies

which will be appreciated but also cause a storm

mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best

caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect

this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line

yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be

it could be worse mark has double the love you know

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?

baby tell me are you ridin’?

in fair verona where we lay our scene...

that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss

putting in effort is mochi default mode

no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in

he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because

probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild

yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt

that’s good for him and everyone involved

you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy

you know how baekhyun is

at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that

your little guy is one unhinged fella

if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’

you bet he can do some actual pole dance

he’s strong and bendy you know

and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls

in the rain

what a freaky man

but hey you wanna stay up for sure

doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs

where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—

oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it

he will play off all his hormonal antics

baekhyun is hilarious

and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry

how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?

who else would like baekhyun

he says juicy things all the time

and does juicy things

yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed.

when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard

bruh

this is gonna be fun

and remember

beside handing you sacks of money

his priority is always to make you smile

i’m kidding about the bags but

baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle

baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright

financial stability: important

luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together

but smiles: baekhyun priority

because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure

of course you do

you always reassure him with your reactions

it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it

baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up

so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles

anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping

because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined

and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied

taemin’s impact

superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that

so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen

since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into

and take some pictures

privé is in trouble

bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene

you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him

heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?

nope

first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed

baekhyun is basically never photographed like that

second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend

and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on

well what can i say

nothing is the way it seems

⌈ taemin

— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.

taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know

least boring relationship ever

he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles

touch-starved taemin is a thing

kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often

might as well pepper him with it no problem

and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair

he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry

and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy

who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard

working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over

a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle

taemin truly has the taste of a divo

multi-layered as always

so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day

we love a complex man

what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close

because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner

even if those facets might be contradictory

or something that’s felt shameful about

he will accept and listen anyway

the same goes for getting what drives you

taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests

point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world

he knows what has to be known

which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes

and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to

it’s the mentality and values underneath

that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it

he’s really really smart

and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa

especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either

or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help

we have a problem

but fair enough

kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway

bff telepathy

in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!

because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct

so not to worry then

and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know

cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day

here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life

without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only

but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group

going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods

which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so

at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner

limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side

and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side

this is gonna be interesting

he puts the 6v6 in 69

equals 69v69 am i right

but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action

you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot

and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed

taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is

ah when things go both ways

839 notes · View notes

helloalycia · 4 years ago

Text

The Wrong Lifetime – One // Wanda Maximoff

story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter two

author’s note: here’s the long-awaited first chapter! i do hope you all enjoy!

Also a quick one – Y/B/N = your brother’s name, Y/M/N = your mother’s name and Y/D/N = your dad’s name

"You move anymore and you're gonna hit a waiter."

I gave my brother a disapproving look as he grinned at my dismay. "Easy for you to say. You're wearing a suit and not a dress that's heavier than your body."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Y/N, you complain too much. Look where we are! You need to learn to enjoy yourself."

Taking a look around the room, I saw a hall filled with people I didn't know mingling with one another. Flutes of champagne were on almost every hand and laughter filled the air as everybody enjoyed their evening, soaking in the luxuries of a ball somebody I didn't know was hosting. Orchestral music was drowned out by conversations and servers moved through the hall like mice, scuttling around and constantly topping up champagne. I wasn't a fan, as usual.

"Are you both ready? Your father is bringing the Maximoffs here any second," my mother's voice grabbed my attention. "Y/N, at least try to look happy to be here."

I forced a smile, making her give me a knowing look before looking to my brother and fixing his tie.

"You both know how important this is," she told us for the millionth time, fussing over my brother's appearance. "They're expecting–"

"Well-behaved, respectful individuals," I finished for her. "We know, mum. You've told us only a gazillion times."

She pressed her lips together, hands on her hips as her eyes fell to me, displeased. "If this engagement is to go as planned, I need you on your best behaviour."

"I'm always on my best behaviour," I reassured her. "But okay. I'll lighten up."

"Thank you," she said with a grateful smile, before glancing over her shoulder. "Okay. Here they come. Smiles, please."

My brother looked to me, showing me his teeth. "Is there anything in my teeth?"

I cracked a smile to make myself feel better. "Gums."

He gave me a disappointed look. "You know men don't like women who are smart arses."

I rolled my eyes at his comment, knowing men didn't like women who didn't like men. But, of course, I didn't say that.

All her and my dad had been talking about for the past few weeks was this engagement. My brother, a very successful author, was to be engaged to his publisher's twin sister, some girl called Wanda. The Maximoffs were an esteemed family and their unification with ours was in everyone's best interests, especially my brother's who was one of the most eligible bachelors in the city.

I didn't know much about the Maximoffs, only that their son and my brother's 'boss', if you will, Pietro, ran a successful publishing house. It had been in their family name since their parents emigrated to England from Sokovia when Pietro and Wanda were children. They'd built themselves up from nothing and were now high members of society, the perfect family to be involved with.

Y/B/N was to be engaged to Wanda, their daughter, since she was getting to that age where they wanted to find someone for her. My brother's name was put into the mix when Pietro recommended him and the rest was history.

Tonight was the first unofficial meeting with them and my mother had been nonstop lecturing me on the dos and don't's of how to act, as if I was a child that couldn’t behave. Of course, it was only a mere greeting. The true engagement was to be proposed tomorrow night, but that didn't matter to my fussy mother who was insistent on making a good impression.

I found myself straightening up and pressing my hands down my dress to rid it of creases as my brother adjusted his blazer. The Maximoffs were being led our way by my father, the four of them all with smiles on their lips and flutes of champagne in their hands.

"Dear, I would like to introduce you to Mr and Mrs Maximoff and their lovely children, Pietro and Wanda," my dad introduced, stopping before us, before looking to the Maximoffs. "This is my family. My wife, Y/M/N, and my children, Y/N and Y/B/N."

"Please, call me Oleg and my wife Iryna," the twins' father, Oleg, said with a kind smile. He held out his hand to my mother, adding, "It's a pleasure, Y/M/N."

They shook hands and then looked to my brother and I, exchanging quick greetings with us. As they were saying something to my brother, probably gushing over his writing as everyone did, I took a look at the quiet twins behind them.

I vaguely recognised the guy and his striking silver hair from my brother's work, knowing he was Pietro. But I'd never seen the girl before and knew immediately that if I had, I wouldn't forget her face. She was stunning, it didn't take a genius to see that. But not the stunning that you glanced once at and forgot about. No, she was the stunning that knocked the breath out of you and made you forget what your name was.

"...lovely to meet you again!" my brother was saying all the right things to impress his soon-to-be in-laws, but it went over me as I found myself unable to tear my gaze from this mystery woman.

Further introductions went on in the background, before the green eyes I was so enthralled with were looking my way, making me blink suddenly. I instantly looked away, afraid I'd been caught, and zoned back into the conversation that was taking place.

"It's great to finally put a name to a face," the girl, Wanda, was saying to my brother with a honey sweet smile and sultry Russian-accented voice, and judging by his expression, he was just as caught up in her beauty as I was. "I look forward to getting to know you more."

"And I you," he returned with his signature grin.

Her eyes fell to mine once again, lips curving into an amused smile. "And of course, Y/B/N's beautiful sister, Y/N. How lucky a man he must be to have a sister as stunning as you."

The others chuckled, clearly taken by Wanda's smooth way with words. In their eyes, it was flattery at its finest. After all, she was to be welcomed into our family and sucking up to the sister was the best way forward. But I guess, I'd like to believe that there was some truth to her words as her entrancing green eyes sparkled with delight.

"You don't need to win over my sister to get on my good side," Y/B/N joked before I could speak, stealing Wanda's attention away momentarily.

She suppressed a laugh, tilting her head as she studied him with an unreadable expression, before looking to me with curious eyes.

"Thank you for your kind words, Wanda," I finally said to her, offering a small smile.

"Anytime," she quipped, biting her lip to contain her smile.

It was oh so wrong of me to even slightly check her out as she did, knowing that it was not only inappropriate since she was to be my brother's bride, but also wrong since she was a girl and I wasn't supposed to do this. A heat crept up neck as I avoided her teasing gaze, wondering if she knew what she was doing or if she was just a naturally flirty person.

"I'm Pietro," her brother spoke, making me look up again. He was directing a charming smile my way as he continued, "It's an honour to finally meet my best author's younger sister."

I put out my hand for him to shake, but he simply grabbed it and pressed a gentle kiss to the top. I flushed at the contact, a nervous smile on my lips.

"Er, it's nice to meet you, too, Pietro," I returned, subtly wiping my hand when he let go of it.

The twins stood side by side, smiling our way, and I realised just why all the chatter in our social circles revolved around them. Charming, distinguished, good-looking – they were the whole package.

Our parents continued to talk, catching up and talking about stuff I didn't care much for. Every now and then, Y/B/N would chime in if a question was directed his way, or Pietro would add his two cents, or Wanda would say something funny, and I would pretend to get along with all of them when I so desperately wished to go home and go to sleep.

Admittedly, my eyes veered over to my soon-to-be sister-in-law every now and then, unable to look away. She was drop dead gorgeous, with bright hazel eyes that looked green like the earth at this moment, and long brown hair that was pulled back out of her face, revealing her charming smile. Sometimes, when she would smile really widely, a dimple would expose itself on her left cheek at the corner of her mouth, and I was sure that nothing else was cuter than that. Y/B/N was one lucky man.

"...would love for you all to come to our home tomorrow evening for dinner," my father was inviting them all over, bringing me back to reality. "It'll be a great way to get to know each other in a more intimate setting. And it'll give the kids a better chance to get to know each other."

Iryna smiled brightly. "We would love to, Y/D/N. Tomorrow evening is great."

"Perfect," my mum said excitedly. "We'll see you all then."

"Do enjoy the rest of your evening," Oleg said, looking to us all, before looking to my brother. "And Y/B/N, it was good to meet you tonight. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow."

"You, too, sir," Y/B/N said, shaking his hand with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Oleg and Iryna gave us all a smile before turning to leave. Pietro and Wanda did the same, though when Wanda's eyes flickered to mine, she waved her fingers slowly and with a playful smile on her lips. My mouth opened slightly, unsure what to do or say, but nobody seemed to notice as she turned and left, leaving me standing there with confusion.

"Well, I think that went well," my mum said, and I tore my gaze from Wanda's retreating form. "Couldn't have gone better actually."

"I agree," my dad said, wrapping an arm around my mum's waist with a smile. "Tomorrow night will be splendid." He looked to Y/B/N. "What did you think of Wanda, son?"

Y/B/N looked like he was on top of the world with his love struck smile and relaxed posture. "She's beautiful. And did you hear that accent? Wonderful."

My mother chuckled. "How sweet. You're already smitten."

"What did you think of her, Y/N?" my brother asked, and all eyes fell to me.

I straightened up. "Oh, I– er– she's very nice. A beautiful young woman."

"Right?" he said in agreement. "I feel like she really likes you, too. How cool is that? You guys can become friends and be, like, close sister-in-laws."

I forced a small smile. "Yeah. Something like that."

Of course, for everyone's benefit, getting along with Wanda Maximoff was the best bet. But something about her was different and I was yet to discover what.

—

The following evening was when we saw the Maximoffs next. As invited, they turned up at our front door dressed less glamorously than last night, given the occasion, but appearing just as excited. Our servants were quick to take their jackets and hang them up elsewhere as we exchanged greetings in the hall.

The Maximoff parents were genuinely kind and humbling people to be around, I'd come to learn that when they thanked our servants for their help and asked them how their day was, making friendly chatter. Not many people did that when entering our home – it was certainly refreshing to see. They greeted Y/B/N and I kindly before moving onto our parents.

The Maximoff children were just as kind, though with a hint of mischief in their stride as they moved to greet my brother and I. Pietro approached me first, lips pulling into a smile as he bowed playfully. In the corner of my eye, I could see Wanda and Y/B/N exchanging greetings.

"It's a pleasure to be in your presence yet again, Y/N," Pietro said generously. "You look lovely this evening."

A smile appeared on my lips at his kind eyes. "Thank you, Pietro. You look very handsome this evening also."

"Apparently it's lamb for dinner, is that true?" he asked, taking me by surprise. I wasn't sure if he was serious, but when his sister slapped him on the arm, I figured he was.

"Don't be greedy, Piet," she scolded him like this was a regular thing.

"What? It was a simple question," he said with a shrug, before looking to my brother with a grin. "Ah, Y/B/N Y/L/N, my favourite writer."

As he moved over to greet him, Wanda looked over to me with a knowing smile.

"It's good to see you again," she said softly, maintaining eye contact.

"You, too," I played along with whatever was happening, the usual script at a time like this. "I'm sure tonight will be something special for you and my brother. It's good to have you here."

She tilted her head intimidatingly. "Bol'shoye tebe spasibo."

I raised my eyebrows, intrigued by her ability to change languages so smoothly. Though, it made sense since she was Sokovian, making Russian her first language. Didn't make it any easier to not be attracted to though.

"I'm sorry," I apologised. disguising my attraction with genuine confusion. "What does that mean?"

She smiled, a hint of smugness present as she answered, "Thank you very much. That's what it means."

I pressed my lips together, humming in response. She held my gaze for a second longer than usual and I wanted to look away, but I was drawn in by the beautiful golden flecks swirled into her irises, captivating and chilling all at once. She didn't seem uncomfortable with the eye contact, instead revelling in it with a content smirk when she saw me squirm. I ended up looking away first, unable to hold a pretty girl's gaze for more than a few seconds without panicking.

"I have something to show you!" my brother was saying excitedly to Pietro. "It's in my study, c'mon."

The two of them wandered off before my mum could stop them.

"Don't be too long, boys!" she called after them, before sighing and looking to Wanda and I. "Y/N, dear, why don't you show Wanda around upstairs, maybe? Hopefully the boys should be back after that and we can all eat dinner together."

I swallowed hard, glancing at a still-smirking Wanda, before looking back to my mum. "Erm, are you sure?"

"Yes, yes, go on, it'll give you ladies a chance to get to know each other better!" she insisted, before ushering me away. "Don't take too long though. Dinner will be ready soon."

Licking my lips nervously, I nodded, watching my mum return to the conversation my dad and Wanda's parents were having. They were led into the living room as Wanda and I were left standing in the hall, her waiting for me to say something.

"This way, I guess," I got out awkwardly, purposely avoiding her eyes as I motioned to the grand staircase.

"After you," she said politely, and I said nothing as I took the lead.

I ended up showing her around the upstairs rooms, including the library we had and the many guest rooms. It was a big home with lots to show for it, so the tour wasn't too boring.

Wanda stayed quiet throughout it, sometimes dropping in a comment or question every now and then, but otherwise listening intently as I explained everything as interestingly as I could. When she did speak, she would leave me fumbling for words or forgetting how to speak altogether. I wondered if she was teasing me on purpose, wanting to get a rise out of her soon-to-be sister-in-law, or if she just wasn't aware of what she was doing.

But every time her mischievous gaze fell to me with a matching smile, I knew that she had to be aware of her actions. Nobody was that teasing without wanting to be. So, that led me to my next question. Why?

Eventually, the last room on the tour was my bedroom. I stepped inside first, holding the door open for her as she followed after and looked around with amusement.

"This is your room," she stated, feet taking her further inside as she took in the appearance of my desk, my bed and my wardrobe. "Fascinating."

I was curious to know what she meant by that, but realising that this woman was an enigma in more ways than one, I knew she wouldn't give me a straight answer. So, I said nothing as I followed after her, remaining close as she soaked in my belongings.

Stopping at my desk, her eyes gazed over the papers spilling from closed notebooks, books marked with string and pens littered across the wood. Thankfully, nothing was open and she didn't seem to be the nosy type, so had no intention of going through anything.

"I see you like writing," she noticed, fingers hovering above the notebooks but not quite making a move to touch them. "Runs in the family, doesn't it?"

"I guess," I said, unsure what she wanted to hear.

She looked up at me, smile tugging at her lips. The same damned smile that had been directed at me since she got here.

"Do you write like your brother?"

I tried not to laugh. "More like he writes like me."

She watched me closely, amusement dancing in her eyes. "He's the author in the family."

I mirrored her smile, though mine was fake. "Published author, love. Doesn't make him the only one."

A chuckle flew from her lips as she looked across my messy desk again, clearly not offended by the hint of annoyance in my voice. I shouldn't have been so offended by her words – she didn't know anything about me – but it always ground my gears when people stuck up for Y/B/N like he was God's gift.

"Do you write?" I asked, half interested and half wanting to change the subject. The least I could do was try to get to know her a little better.

"I prefer painting," she answered without mischief. "It's my favourite thing to do."

Her eyes lit up at the mere mention of art, but she did a good job at reigning it in. She was still studying the books on my desk, distracting herself with the spines instead of facing me.

"And what do you like to paint?" I asked, genuinely interested now that I was beginning to see her actually fond of something that didn't involve making me flustered.

She shrugged, but I knew it was a pretence. "Scenery. Landscapes. We have a beautiful garden at home and it's a pleasure to paint." She finally met my eyes again, a smile of adoration on her lips as she continued talking about the garden. "The flowers, the trees, the little pond we have. It's the perfect subject."

The smile that appeared on my lips was automatic as her passion for her hobby was contagious. The way her whole face lit up, eyes bright with excitement and lips unable to do anything but smile, was intoxicating and I tried not to get lost in the moment. It was true though, what people said. Nobody looked more beautiful than when talking about something they loved.

"I’d love to see your work sometime," I told her earnestly.

Playfulness returning, she hummed in agreement. "Only if I can see yours."

I laughed, looking down at my shoes. "Maybe not."

"Well, that's a shame," she said, still playful, though when I looked up, I almost believed her.

She did that thing again, where she stared at me and held my gaze as if reading my innermost private thoughts. Intimidating wasn't the word, yet it was the only one in my mind as I watched her attempt to decipher me. Clearing my throat, I looked away, suddenly aware of how close she was stood.

"So, my brother," I changed the subject yet again, noticing the entertained expression she wore. "You like him?"

"We are to be engaged, are we not?" she asked with a quirked brow, like the answer was obvious.

I hid the smile from my lips. "That's not what I asked, love."

She licked her lips, pursing them as she saw what I was trying to do. My eyes were immediately drawn to her mouth as she did, and I almost forgot to look away until she started speaking again.

"My parents arranged this," she admitted, not losing composure. "Y/B/N is a gentleman and he seems like a kind man."

I noticed how she still avoided answering the question, but decided not to say anything about it. My eyes studied her curiously though, wondering why exactly she'd agreed to the marriage then. Maybe it was a sense of duty, like every woman had nowadays. Eventually my time would come too and maybe I would be stuck in the same position as her.

"I adore his writing though," she added, like she needed to say something genuine to make up for her lack of answer.

"You and every other woman in the city," I mumbled knowingly.

Wanda let out a breathy laugh. "I'm aware of his many admirers, yes, but can you blame them? He has such a fantastic way with words. And don't get me started on that first piece he ever wrote..." Her eyes rolled back with satisfaction. "It's my favourite. I had no idea who he was back then, but the words he wrote were enough to make me fall in love. I guess it's convenient that my new husband is to be your brother, the author."

I crossed my arms as I leaned against the desk, trying not to break out into laughter. Not because of Wanda's words – they were actually quite sweet – but because of the whole situation. It was hilarious to me, since I was the reason Y/B/N got his big break as a writer anyway.

Following in our father's footsteps, Y/B/N wrote manuscript after manuscript with hopes of getting published. But unfortunately, he never got anywhere with it. I was also a writer, having been taught by my father like Y/B/N when I was a young girl, but unlike him, I was told to stop when I got older because it was 'unladylike' and 'not a woman's place'. That didn't stop me however, and I continued to write like no tomorrow.

Y/B/N's big break, and the first manuscript of his that got published by Pietro – ironically the one that Wanda was discussing right now – was written by me. I gave it to my brother, hoping he could get inspiration. He ended up sending that in and getting signed because of my work. And even now, I occasionally helped him work on pieces that otherwise wouldn't see the light of day.

But nobody wanted to hear about the young, unmarried woman who writes about other women like they are God's best creation. So, Y/B/N keeps the fame and credit whilst I write in private, unable to share any of my work with the world unless it's in excerpts of my brother's books with his name on the front cover.

"That first piece was pretty good, wasn't it?" I played along with Wanda's words, a hint of bitterness in my tone of voice.

Wanda studied me up and down, teasing smile tugging at her lips. "Jealousy doesn't look good on you, milaya."

I hummed in acknowledgement, feigning a smile in response, though I wasn't sure what that last word meant. Probably another Russian term she was using to throw me off. Of course she'd assume I was jealous of my brother's recognition. She didn't know the truth and she never could. She was also to marry my brother, the perfect author, soon; my bitter state was merely a jealous sibling and maybe it was easier to let her think that way.

"Dinner should be ready now," I told her, straightening up. "Let's head down."

She followed after me and I said nothing else as I led her back downstairs, trying not to think about how much of an ego-boost this dinner would be for my brother.

There was nothing better than hearing everyone gush over the work your brother took credit for that you actually did, right?

"Ah, ladies, perfect timing!" said my mum when we reached the dining room where everyone was taking their seats. "Please, sit and we can get started. It's a lovely roast from the kitchen tonight."

As I made my way to my usual seat opposite my brother, I saw Pietro fist-pump the air at the mention of the lamb roast, making Wanda roll her eyes and me smile at his action. Y//B/N took his seat and Wanda's parents seemed to take the two chairs beside him already. My parents took to each end of the table, leaving the Maximoff twins no choice but to sit beside me. I sat at the same spot as usual, at the edge of the table so my left-handed self wouldn't bother whoever was sat beside me, and take a lucky guess to who sat on my right.

"Wanda, dear, how was your tour?" my mum asked her as she got comfortable beside me, leg and shoulder almost touching mine and making me both nervous and disgruntled.

With a grin wide enough to impress my mother, she answered, "It was great. You have a beautiful home, Mrs Y/L/N. And Y/N was a lovely host."

At that last comment, I felt her eyes glance towards me and I wondered if she was having fun making me squirm because I knew for sure that I was anything but a lovely host.

"That's reassuring to hear," my mother responded as the food was brought out and placed in the centre of the table. She seemed like she was joking, but I knew she was just glad I'd been on my best behaviour. "And please, call me Y/M/N."

Wanda nodded gratefully as my dad began to cut into the roast. Food was served up and drinks were poured as everybody began to dig in. The Maximoffs sent their compliments to the chef, admired our home and were the perfect guests, just as they were expected to be. My family complimented Wanda and Pietro's manners, talked about how business was going and laughed at every joke Oleg and Iryna uttered, just as they were expected to be. It really was a picture-perfect scene and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Okay, maybe I was acting a little cynical. The Maximoffs weren't that bad, at least not as bad I'd assumed they would be compared to my parents' other friends. They were down-to-Earth and humbled people, a welcoming change from the usual. I just hated forced dinners and being scrutinised under my mother's eyes to behave, hence the clipped attitude.

And just on cue, the topic steered towards something lovely.

"We can't forget to talk about Y/B/N, bestselling author over here!" Oleg beamed, motioning to my brother. "I have to admit, son, I'm amazed at your writing. You clearly have your father's talent."

My brother smiled bashfully as I watched on with narrowed eyes and a tight grip on my fork.

"You flatter me," he said, but Iryna shook her head.

"I have to agree with my husband here, Y/B/N," she said. "Your writing is superb. Pietro, obviously, loves it, and Wanda is a huge fan, too."

At this, my brother glanced towards Wanda with excited eyes and she merely smiled and looked elsewhere, either embarrassed to be mentioned or playing coy. Rolling my eyes came naturally at this point.

"Tell me, how did you think of what to write for that first book?" Iryna asked with intrigue. "It was my favourite one."

Ah, yes, the first book. Apparently everyone's favourite one.

"Oh, it's best not to bring all that up–"

"I'd actually like to know, too," Wanda cut him off, her curiosity getting the better of her as she leaned forward onto the palm of her hand and watched him under long eyelashes.

I couldn't keep the smile of delight from my face as I too leaned forward curiously, eyeing my brother. "Yes, dear, brother. Please, do tell us of how you came to write such an honest, heartfelt first book."

At this, I felt both my parents send me a warning look as they knew the truth. But neither of the Maximoffs noticed as their attention was solely on my brother.

Luckily for him, he was a great liar and he smiled his charming smile and nodded, looking between the four guests.

"I guess it started after my third failed manuscript," he began, very believably. "I realised that there was something missing from my pages. Something real and genuine. Something that would appeal to my readers and make them question just how much they were appreciating their partner, you know?"

As he rambled off into another literary spout of nonsense, my smile faded and I gritted my teeth, wondering how he'd gotten so good at lying without giving away a sliver of pretence. The Maximoffs were hanging onto his every word, fascinated by the mind of a writer. I tried not to let it get to me as he butchered the meaning behind everything I had written in that first novel. Some things were better left unsaid.

When he finished, questions were fired his way and my parents watched on with pride in their eyes, as he answered them with ease. I chose to stay quiet, as usual, letting him soak in the credit for something he didn't do.

"And what do you think, Y/N?" Wanda's voice included me in the conversation, and everybody's eyes fell to me. I was only looking at her as her lips were pulled into a wide, suggestive smile and she continued, "How is it being the sister of one of today's bestselling authors?"

The usual forced smile that accompanied my lips whenever talking about Y/B/N because present, but my eyes were questioning Wanda's as she was clearly trying to get a rise out of me yet again, especially now that she assumed I was jealous of her husband-to-be's fame. Her stupid beautiful smile and stupid pretty eyes and stupid attractive accent were all taunting me.

"It makes me proud to know that he's come so far from when we were younger," I said, and though I was irritated by the way it had happened, my words weren't entirely false. "He's a talented man and he clearly has a way with words. What more is there to say?"

The elders seemed touched by my words and when I looked over the table to meet my brother's gaze, I saw the gratitude in his expression, hiding behind his smile and reserved for me. I nodded subtly, letting him know I was happy to keep his secret as long as he wished, just like we'd agreed.

Chatter and compliments soon turned to the real reason for our presence – the engagement. I tucked into my dessert as I let them talk about dates for the engagement party, logistics for guests and all the other details I could care less about. Only when my brother mentioned my name did I look up, surprised to see all eyes on me yet again.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked politely, glancing around.

"Y/N, honey, lay off the chocolate cake, will you?" my mum said with a smile that I knew was code for 'put the bloody fork down'.

I forced a smile of my own as I lowered my fork and sat up straight, very ladylike, and looked to my brother.

"I was saying how I'll be sure to pick a beautiful engagement ring for Wanda here," he no-doubt repeated for my sake. "And maybe you could help me choose, to make sure it's something she may like."

A genuine sarcastic smile broke out on my lips, though not because I was interested in ring shopping with my brother. I knew absolutely nothing about dear Wanda or her taste in jewellery, but a woman was to do what she was best at – shopping! So, without sharing my true thoughts on the situation, I nodded respectfully and hummed in agreement.

"Of course," I said what everybody wanted to hear. "I'm sure we can find something to suit Wanda's taste."

Everybody resumed chatter about the wedding as I sighed quietly and got back to my cake. My right hand rested by my side and I jumped, startled when I made contact with Wanda's fingers.

"Sorry," I apologised, moving my hand a little from hers but keeping it there. "Left-handed an' all. I tend to forget."

Green eyes pierced through me with a matching sly smile. "No problem, milaya."

Again with the 'milaya' talk – what did that even mean? I returned the awkward smile as I continued eating, but I didn't fail to notice the way her hand would brush against mine throughout the rest of the meal.

Either by accident or on purpose, I'd never know, but I had my suspicions.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x you #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch #marvel #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen

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thestarrynightslover · 4 years ago

Text

I'll Make It Okay for You - Part 2

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 2,765

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, mentions of drugs, drug abuse, drug withdrawal, rehab facility and insecurities/self-sabotage (very, very slightly, tho).

Summary: You can read Part 1 here. What happens when (y/n) (y/l/n), Harvey’s secret crush and a junior partner at his firm, openly defies him in front of everyone?

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: I think that this turned out better than Part 1? As always, I’m not sure, though. Just to make it clear here, I’m still on season 4 of Suits, so didn’t wanna get too much into any canonic details, self-preservation, lol. Anyhow, I hope you like it, and, ofc, feedback is always appreciated.

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

You and Harvey stayed in the embrace for a while, as you sunk in all the comfort emanating from him. He'd even started stroking your hair. The whole situation felt so intimate, that, by the time the two of you finally pulled away from each other, it was almost as if there was this cloud of embarrassment hovering around you both.

"Err… I'm s- sorry, I shouldn't have, um-" You started saying nervously but he cut you off.

"No, it's okay. And, um, I'm really glad you told me what happened… It's definitely a lot to deal with. And I was a complete asshole this morning. So I'm sorry." For a moment both you and Harvey just smiled at each other, sitting there in a comfortable silence. Until he decided to break it: "So, um, did you get her a lawyer? I'm assuming you wouldn't wanna represent her yourself because it could be problematic…"

"No, uh, yeah. It would be problematic.” You corrected him. “But the most I could do was make the cops get her a public defender, cause I called my dad when I was on the way there and he just wouldn't have me paying for anything else. He is a retired cop, so the pension isn't too great, the pride though… And I’m already covering Lisa's treatment because it's her best shot, but this…"

"And he wants to teach her a lesson." He completed what you were trying to explain.

"Yes."

"And you don't agree with him?" Harvey asked, almost reading your mind.

"Well, it's complicated. Because when I see what Kat's doing with her life… I get just as frustrated as my parents, and I really do want what's best for Henry." The fact that your sister wasn't what's best for her son was only implied. "But she's my little sister, you know?" As he nodded in understanding, you went on: "I wanna help her, but, at least for now, I think I'm just gonna wait and see if mom and dad change their minds… Which I think they will do! I mean, my dad was a cop for years. He knows what those places do to people. As much as we all desperately want her to get her shit together, I don't think that prison is where she'll succeed in doing so." You finished, voice filled with concern.

"Well, I don't think I would be as lenient, and compassionate, as you are, but I do see your point." Harvey told with a sympathetic smile. "Besides, she is your sister. And, trust me, I know what it is like to go out of your way to keep a sibling outta trouble." He added with a tired sigh, making you wonder how much you really knew about the man sitting in front of you.

"Either way, now I don't see much that I can do for her at the moment. Gonna try and have her attorney keep me posted, of course, but…"

"Yeah…"

"I just… I can't help but feel guilty about all of this, you know?" You said, after having stood up and turned your back on him, finally letting on what was bothering you the most to the other lawyer.

"No, not really, I don't." He stated simply while you just looked back at him with a shocked expression on your face. "I mean, there's not a single approach on this that makes me think you're to blame for anything." He explained himself, standing up as well this time.

"Harvey, I-"

"No, (y/n), let me stop you right there. What I see here is a family going through a rough situation with one of its members. Then three of the other members just try to do everything they can to get out of the initial situation, while another one just keeps making more problems for her family. And, right now? Today? You walked out on your bosses, risking a lot, to take care of your nephew. So, tell me again, how is it that any of these things happening to your sister are your fault when you’ve done nothing but help everyone in that goddamn family of yours, huh?" He asked you in a sarcastic tone.

“Well, it is very much my fault because I’m her big sister! I should have been there for her! Advising her, helping her, just, just being her friend…” You confessed your regrets to Harvey. “But, instead, I was too busy making my career.”

“And what the hell’s wrong with that? Look, I’m a big brother too. I get it. Ever since we were kids our parents imbued us with the role of ‘the responsible one’, always telling us to look after the youngest… But, hey! If you just threw all of your work up in the air and left running every time your sister had a run-in with a problem, you wouldn’t have made it this far! Not in this field anyway!” He practically spit the words in your face, going to battle with your self-sabotage, which was a very new side of you for him. “And you’re a freaking great lawyer! One of the best that firm’s ever seen. So don’t be sorry that you didn’t sacrifice all of that for being better than the amazing sister you probably already were!”

“You simply can’t know that.” You stated in a low voice, not really knowing how to respond to everything Harvey had just told you. He really thought all that about you?

“Yes, I can!” He yelled back, stepping closer towards you. “I can know that for a fact, because,” he started again, his face pretty close to yours this time, “because, I’m beginning to finally understand, even if just a little bit, who you really are. And because I always notice all the little things when it comes to you, which, in my experience, is how you actually get to know someone. You know, the details.” He told you in the sweetest tone, giving you a charming-Specter-like smile, he leaned closer, if that was even possible, God, was he gonna kiss you?

You had to pull away slightly, just enough for him to get the message. And, boy, how you regretted it! Sure, normally, you’d have a ton of bad things to say about him, but after that night… It wasn’t really that bad of an idea, the one of Harvey kissing you. No, nuh-uh! What were you thinking?! If much, you and Harvey were beginning a friendship there! And you couldn’t, or wouldn’t, let some ridiculous thoughts about how great he smelled rob you from that opportunity! Your inner struggle was interrupted by him saying:

“Hum, I- I should probably go, right? It’s, um, it’s getting pretty late…” He said nervously. You should be relieved right now. Because this assures that things between you and Harvey (your new friend?) aren’t gonna go too off the railroads anytime soon.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll, uh, I’ll walk you to the door.” So why is it that you sounded almost disappointed when you said that? “You know what they say, you gotta walk people to the door if you ever want them to come back…” You joked a little, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, right.” He shot back simply, with a small smile on his lips. “Bye, (y/n). Have a good night.”

“Thanks, you too.” You watched him turning around to leave when you remembered there was something else that Harvey deserved to hear from you. “Uh, Harvey!” You called out.

“Yeah?” He asked, turning back around to face you. And before you could even think it through one more time, you were already jumping in his arms, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“Thank you. For tonight. For everything.” You told him, as he slowly put his arms around your waist, hugging you back.

“It was no problem, (y/n), really. That’s what friends are for.” And, just like that, your day ⎼ turned into night ⎼ had gone from Earth to Hell, and, now, to Heaven.

---

Around 7:30 in the next morning, as you gathered some of your work stuff, you heard someone knocking on the door. Who could it possibly be this time? You asked yourself while walking there to open it.

Once again you were surprised to be met by none other than Harvey Your-New-Friend Specter standing at your doorstep. With your supposedly locked-up little sister in tow. What the hell?

“Before you say anything,” he started, “this time I come bearing gifts!” He practically beamed at you, as Kat threw herself in your arms.

“Yeah- yeah, um, I can see that.” You stated, still very confused with the whole situation.

“Thank you so much for sending your friend to bail me out, sis!” Your sister squealed out. She looked so pale and thin; winter-like clothes on, even though it was only the beginning of the fall; and she was shaking. Effects of a rushed withdrawal, you guessed. “You’re the best! Now, where’s my little baby?” She asked you, as if everything that had happened was nothing.

“He’s, uh, he’s in a day-care facility. The best in the city, you have nothing to worry about.” You informed her, who seemed rather relieved to hear that news. “Can you, uh, can you please stay here for a minute while I talk to my, uh, my friend in the office, Kat?” You asked her with a calm smile on your lips.

“Yeah, of course. I’m not gonna break anything I promise!” She told you, sounding a lot like a wicked child.

“No, um, I know you won’t. If you want something to eat, please, help yourself.” You assured her, motioning to the kitchen.

“Oh, no! I’m not hungry! Mr.Specter took me to a diner before we came here.” She let you know, which just made you even more surprised, and confused.

“Oh, he did? Well, that was very nice of yours, Harvey. So, come with me?” You asked him in a sort of mockery tone while pointing to the room he’d just been in, the night before.

As soon as the two of you stepped into the office, Harvey started desperately: “(y/n), before you come at me for not running this by you first, just, please, hear me out for a second.” He pleaded with you, to which you just nodded your head. “So, last night. I heard what you said about your dad, and you don’t have to worry about paying me anything. I’m representing your sister as a friend of yours.”

“Wait a second. You mean you’re taking this pro-bono? Harvey, you do that and the whole firm is gonna know. And you promised.” You quickly accused him, even though you were very thankful for the way he just stepped up to solve one of your problems.

“I know! Let me finish, will you?” You nodded again while muttering an apology. “I’m not going to break your trust. And I’m not handling this pro-bono. The only people I’ll have to loop in are Jessica and Donna. And you know they won’t say anything.” He told you, but you were still a bit confused. “And, before you even ask, no, that doesn’t mean that either you or your family will be paying me anything. Also, I got your sister a spot in a top-of-line, very discrete, rehab facility, I have a friend over there, who said we can drop her off at any time. I just, um, figured that it’d be the best if she got professional help this time. Plus, on my talk with her, she agreed to sign papers that make you and your parents Henry’s temporary guardians. I really think that Kat wants to turn her life around this time, (y/n). She was very- Did I do something wrong? Because, err, you know me… I always find it easier to ask for forgiveness instead of permission, but, this time, I really did think that this would make you happy...” He trailed off with a confused look on his face while scratching the back of his neck

“Oh, I am happy.” You told him, still looking absolutely stunned.

“Then why, uh, why don’t you look happy?” He asked, sounding a bit hurt.

“It’s just that… I’m kind of surprised. How did you even think of all those things?”

“I, uh, it’s like I said yesterday, I notice things about you. And I really listened to what you told me last night. So I just started thinking about ways that I could solve this thing for you, ways that I could make you happy again throughout all of this storm.” He told you and it had to be the sweetest thing you’d heard from Harvey (hell, from anyone!) in your entire life. “But I understand that I overstepped, and I’m-” But since he just wouldn’t stop talking anymore, you had to cut him off in order to shut him up.

His eyes were in absolute shock for a moment, as he just stood reactionless in your grip. But then he got the message and pulled you closer, grabbing your waist tightly while your hands stood firmly wrapped around his neck. You were pretty sure that neither one of you was still breathing at that point, but you didn’t care. Because, God, his mouth tasted so good in yours, it was like they’d been made to kiss each other. The despair both of you were investing in the kiss was huge, but it was turning into a calmer kind of fire, as the air started becoming too necessary again. He pulled your mouths apart for a minute, you resting your forehead on his shoulder.

“You know…” He started, still catching his breath. “When I mentioned you coming at me, I hadn’t really envisioned this.” He joked, a victory smile on his lips.

“Ah, well, you know how upset it makes me when you simply won’t shut up.” You shot back with a shrug of your shoulders, smiling at him.

“Huh. Wish you would’ve shut me up like this every other time.” He mocked, earning a smack in the arm from you. “Ouch! Why’d do that?”

“Because you were being a dickhead, ruining our moment.” You gave him a fake irritated glance.

“Oh, c’mon! Tell me you didn’t think about it too!” He challenged, and you didn’t feel like giving him that kind of win at the moment, so you just pulled him back in for another kiss. One that may have lasted a little longer than it should have, considering that you two still needed to take Kat to rehab and, then, go to work so you could try and save your job. But, what could you do if he, and his body, and his mouth, and his eyes, and his everything were the only things that mattered?

As he rested his chin on top of your head ⎼ that was laid on his chest ⎼, you looked up, pulling away a little, him making sure you wouldn’t fall off the small couch. “Thank you, Harvey. For everything you did. For listening. For being here right now. For everything.”

“Don’t thank me, (y/n). You’ll never have to thank me for anything. I just want you to promise me one thing.” He stated seriously.

“What?” You asked, a bit hesitant.

“That, from now on, you’ll tell me all about it, every time you have a problem.” That was easy enough, you thought. But, you being you, simply had to ask.

“So that you can be here for me?” You questioned him with puppy eyes.

He just chuckled lightly. “Well, that too. But, mostly, so that I can make it ⎼ whatever it is ⎼ okay for you.” Your heart was on the edge of not being to take it any longer. What could have you possibly done to deserve that man?

“Okay, I promise.” You said, watching his expression begin to soften already. “But, only if you promise me the same. Because I wanna make it okay for you too.” While you thought Harvey was simply gonna say yes, he started laughing at you.

“Always the kick-ass corporate lawyer, I see.”

“Would you even have me any other way?” You joked back, more relaxed now.

“Yes, of course! I’d have you in any way you came to me. Which is why I promise too.” With that, you didn’t have any other choice but to kiss him again, because crying over the fact that Harvey Surprisingly-Romantic Specter was an absolute cinnamon roll was not an option.

Taglist: @just-a-girl-with-alot-of-issues

#harvey specter x reader #suits #harvey specter #fanfiction #fanfic #imagines #suits fanfiction #suits imagine #harvey specter fanfiction #angst #bickering #harvey specter imagines #harvey specter x you #harvey specter x y/n #fluff #harvey specter fluff #harvey specter angst

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andromedasstarship · 4 years ago

Note

i could not choose between 77-80 so i overbearingly ask u to use each of them with spencer reid if u wish 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

80. “Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner.” + 77- “If you want to leave, we can leave.”

send a prompt + character from this list!

pairing - spencer reid x gn!reader

warnings - stress?? mostly fluff

a/n - tysm kenna for requesting this i love you and i loved writing this. i also went overboard on this one bye! ive also never posted something this long in an ask reply before so if this looks weird BYE!

Your car had long gone cold, but you still couldn’t find the energy to pull yourself out yet. It was futile to try and wrestle your emotions into a tightly sealed box; as soon as you crossed the threshold of the town-home you shared with Spencer, you knew he’d be able to read you like a book. Damn genius profiler skills.

Taking a quick look at the time you knew you had to suck it up and go inside; you were pushing how ‘late’ you could be without him worrying something had happened on your commute home. With a deep sigh, you grabbed your bag from the passenger seat and exited the car; taking your sweet time with locking the car behind you and digging your house keys out of the bottom of your bag.

To put it simply, it had been a difficult year. It was the final year of your Phd. program and while- all things considered- you had had an amazing time, the past few months had been both physically and mentally draining. What was once your lifelong passion had suddenly started to feel like a chore; a chore you felt you weren’t even good at anymore. Almost every day was spent either in your own classes or teaching undergrads. Almost every night was spent on the final edits of your thesis or grading work from your students. The few moments of freedom you found were spent doing the boring parts of adult life: housekeeping, getting your car fixed, calling elderly family members, etc.

Neither of you had formerly addressed it, but you knew it was taking a toll on your relationship. Spencer being busy was a constant, but it was normally balanced out by your typical 9-5 schedule. But recently, even on the nights he was home you’d be too wrapped up in your own work to even sit down and eat dinner with him. By the time you crawled into bed he’d be long asleep and in the mornings you’d been leaving for work earlier and earlier in order to get research time in at the university library. It felt like the two of you hadn’t even been awake in the same room for weeks, let alone do anything relationship-y.

Tonight was supposed to change that. Kind of. His team was having a fancy dinner to celebrate some major milestone that you couldn’t remember. It’d been on the books for months, but kept getting pushed back by surprise cases. It felt like everyone held their breath this week, waiting for a case to pop up, but instead everyone was left pleasantly surprised when no such thing happened. It was going to be a great night: classic Rossi pasta dish, all partners and kids invited. Even though the two of you wouldn’t be alone, it’d still be a perfectly good excuse to get out, put on some nice outfits and have a fun evening with friends.

Spencer had been particularly excited. The past week, you felt as if it was the only thing he ever talked about. Not that the two of you were having extensive conversations. He kept talking about how great it would be to get out of the house and how much he was looking forward to having a totally work free evening. His excitement warmed your heart.

Which is why you were taking so long to find your keys. Today had been one of the hardest day you’d experienced in a long time. The thesis meeting you had with your advisor- that you’d been staying up late every night editing for- had gone horribly; it was as if everything you prepared was wrong. Almost every student in the class you taught scored poorly on the latest assessment- on a unit you considered yourself an expert on-, something you viewed as a failure of your ability to convey the info. And to top it all off, even though you felt as if you’d spent hours upon hours working yourself to the bone the past week- in order to clear space for tonight-, you still felt as if you had piles of work to catch up on.

You knew the stress and tension of the day would read clear on your body as soon as Spencer got a look at you. And with how excited he’d been, you absolutely didn’t want to ruin the dinner. You’d hate for him to feel as if you were being selfish or that you couldn’t even prioritize him in your schedule.

You took one last deep breath, before going to put the key into the doorknob. Just as you touched the handle, the door swung open from the other side.

“Jesus!” You exclaimed, one hand clutching your chest as you nearly jumped out of your skin. In front of you was Spencer, smiling down at you with that irresistible grin of his.

“Did I scare you? Sorry. I thought I heard you car pull up earlier and when you didn’t come in I thought maybe something was wrong so I wanted to come check-”

You quickly cut him off- even though you did find his worrying a bit endearing- by pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“A good song came on just as I pulled in, couldn’t just get out.” You lied, adding a small laugh for effect. It was an on brand situation for you, something certainly believable. If Spencer had any doubts, he didn’t question you, simply moved out of the doorframe so you could step in.

Inside the house, you set your bag down by the front door like you always did. While kicking your shoes off, you pulled your jacket off, smiling when Spencer had his hands already open to hang it on the rack. You knew he had that ridiculous memory- and you had a pretty set routine-, but it still made your heart swell every time he anticipated your next move and went the extra mile to be helpful.

“So, how was your day?" Spencer asked, as the two of you made your way to the kitchen area. “What’d Professor Addams have to say in your meeting?”

You clenched at the handle of the fridge, grinding your teeth before pulling the door open. When you turned to look at Spencer, you saw he made himself comfortable on one of the countertop stools.

“Went well. They gave me some uh, um, some comprehensive revisions.” You said flatly, turning back to face the fridge; missing the skeptical look Spencer was throwing you.

“That’s good?” He said slowly, before adding, “well how was class? You just wrapped up the last unit didn’t you?” You both knew he knew the answer, but was just attempting to further the conversation. Had it been any other day you would’ve found it endearing, but today just wasn’t that day.

You slammed the fridge door shut, just hard enough to be cause for concern. “I thought tonight was absolutely no shop talk. Huh? Why don’t we just start that rule now.” You said, a slight edge to your voice. It’s not his fault, it’s not his fault.

“Are you okay-”

“Yes! I just don’t-”

“If there’s something wrong, you know you can tell-”

“There’s nothing wrong-”

“Do you need to stay-”

“Stop!” You exclaimed, bringing an end to the constant cutting each other off. “Everything is fine. Okay?” You said, unable to maintain eye contact.

Spencer slowly nodded, though you could tell he didn’t believe an ounce of what you had just said. Luckily for you, he seemed to let it go, falling back in his seat.

“I’m gonna go shower and get ready and then we can leave, alright?” You asked rhetorically. When he just nodded again, you very quickly walked up to him and pressed another quick kiss to his lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

---

The ride to Rossi’s was silent, something that normally wouldn’t have bothered either of you had it not been for the borderline argument you had in the kitchen. As you pulled up a few cars down from the house, you caught Spencer staring at you from the passenger seat, a slightly concerned look on his face.

“Stop doing that.” You huffed out, but there was no real bite in your voice.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked gently, reaching out to push a piece of your hair away from your face. God that was sweet.

You quickly nodded and threw a very forced smile his way, not quite meeting his eyes. “I’m fine. I promise, come on.” You said, killing the engine and pushing open your car door.

Before you could fully open the door, Spencer’s arm shot out across your body and pulled the door back shut with a bang.

“Spencer!” You yelped, startled by his sudden movement. You turned and gave him a bewildered look.

“You always look over my head when you lie.” Spencer stated.

“Oh I do not-” You started, but letting the sentence fall flat as soon as you realized you currently were looking over his head.

“Your favorite song came on the radio, twice, on the drive here and you didn’t react at all either times.” He said. When you still didn’t say anything he continued. “What’s going on? You know you can tell me.”

The look he was giving you was making you feel all sorts of guilty. Of course he cared, that’s why you loved him so much. You just didn’t want to ruin something that’d been in the works for so long, all because you had a bad day.

“Spencer,” you started, giving him a very pointed look and making sure to hold eye contact, “I’m fine. Can we just go in?”

Spencer shook his head, externally searching your face for more clues while also internally thinking back to any clues from your kitchen fight. “We aren’t going anywhere, until you talk to me.” He urged.

It probably wasn’t the best move on his part, seeing as you both were incredibly stubborn. The two of you were unrelenting, both staring blankly at the other; hoping the other one would break first. After nearly 5 minutes of silence, it became very clear that neither of you were standing down anytime soon.

Spencer reached his hand out again, gently cupping your cheek; internally you cursed your body’s natural reaction to lean into his touch. “What’s going on?” He asked, voice much softer than earlier.

You were internally screaming over how caring he was. Damn him! You cursed yourself for not being able to just play the role of perfect partner for one night.

“I’m exhausted.” You said, voice quiet. “My meeting went horrible day. I absolutely failed at teaching my students the last unit. I’ve been bringing so much work back to the house I haven’t even been able to give you a second of attention. And now we have this dinner that you’ve been looking forward to for months and I don’t want to ruin-”

This time, it was Spencer that quickly cut off your rambles with a kiss.

“Do you want to leave?” He asked, as if it were the most simple thing ever

You gave him a shocked look. “Spencer, you’ve been talking about this dinner for weeks. I, I can’t ask you to put this off, you and the team rarely get time to-”

“If you want to leave, we can leave.” He said. His voice was so sincere it made the whole thing that much more difficult. He was too good.

“Spencer, no.” You said, putting special emphasis on the ‘no’. “We haven’t even walked in the door, there’s nothing to leave yet. I’m not going to ruin the dinner we’ve all been planning on for months. I’ll be fine for a couple hours.”

He didn’t answer, instead pulled his phone out and quickly started to type out a text.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting Rossi, I’m gonna tell him you aren’t feeling well and we can’t come anymore.”

“We’re outside his house! It’s not a big deal-!

“Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner!” Spencer cut you off, giving you a very pointed look. You weren’t sure your heart could take the swelling much longer.

“Spencer, you’ve been planning-”

“I don’t want to hear it-”

“You’ve wanted to get out of the house for so long!” You stressed, giving him a ‘duh’ look.

“We can go do something else!” He replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Just us, no pressure to be ‘on’ in front of anyone else.” That did sound good- No!

“I’m not gonna be the one who keeps their boyfriend away from his friends-”

“I see them every day. Every day. One dinner means nothing.” Spencer said confidently, clasping your hand tightly between his.

You contemplated for what seemed like hours; though it couldn’t have been more than twenty seconds. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of something in my life.” Spencer said, giving you a very mock serious look; you couldn’t help but laugh at that. “There you are.” He said, smiling to match yours.

You turned the car on, clicking your seatbelt back into place. “So, where to pretty boy?” You asked.

“Well, I heard of this new ice cream place that just opened up. Their ‘claim to fame’ is they make over 50 flavors in store every single day. Did you know on average it takes nearly three hours from start to finish to make a single batch of ice cream? Or that when ice cream-”

You shook your head in amusement, chancing a couple glances in his direction as you were driving. You loved his excited ramblings and animated hand motions as he further explained the history of ice cream; as well as all the random facts about the place he was directing you to. As you got closer to your new destination, all you could think about was how lucky you were to, to be loved by someone who always knew just what to say.

---

permanent tags - @sunflowersandotherthings

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #'stori writes #kenna #'stori answers #spencer reid/you #spencer reid x you #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid/gn!reader

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darlingyouarenotalone · 2 years ago

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1)Social workers, police, doctors, therapists, teachers, *anyone*.... please educate yourself on RAD 2)RAD family members... you're not alone

my adoptive brother has been diagnosed with Reactive attachment disorder (RAD), as well as Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). However, there is hardly any knowledge of the subjects by most people. The following is a short memoir that I wrote to a social worker involved with my brother.

"You know that feeling when your heart just freezes for a moment? It drops… and then it begins to beat and pound three times faster than it should and adrenaline kicks in and you tear through the house searching, wondering, unsure where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s stealing from, or if he’s even alive. It’s a feeling I’ve had over a dozen times, a feeling hardly anyone can relate to. The feeling every night when you go to bed not wondering how you’re gonna wake up, whether or not he’ll be there, or whether you’ll wake up with a knife over your face. Because he’s just that unpredictable.

Let me paint a picture for you. He was nearly five years old when he came over, only a few weeks younger than me. He had a hard time with a lot of things, like reading or tying his shoes or coming up with ideas, but I didn’t mind. I liked to help him. We would play legos together, even if I had to whisper to him what to make his characters say because he couldn’t think of it. We would play school, and I would make up little worksheets to help him learn when he was struggling in school. I would make him obstacle courses to go through and tents for us to play in. Sure, he wasn’t a perfect kid. He didn’t always listen. But he was my friend.

Then, he started taking food and hiding it under his bed. Massive amounts of food that he would consume during the night. He was allowed to have as much food as the rest of us, besides being allergic to dairy, but somehow he thought he needed more. I’m not exaggerating when I say he could eat a bathtub full of food. He’d even put things like milk under his bed, so it would spoil because of the warmth, but he’d still drink it.

Naturally, my parents were concerned. They limited his access to the kitchen, and sent him to his room. The next morning he was gone, and so was his bike. Eventually the police found him, after he had stolen from both of the grocery stores in town.

He just kept getting worse over the years. Anytime he got in trouble, he would lash out and do more bad stuff. But it’s gotten to the point that he won’t even accept nice things. Nothing is ever good enough. You can never know what he says is real; one day he would tell me that I was a great sister and thank me and apologize for ever hurting me, and the next day he’d be stealing food and money and running away, telling the police what horrible people our family was. He’s always been known to lie, no matter how small of a thing it was about. It’s practically instinctual.

He tried to poison my brother once. I never know if he could try to do the same thing to me. He’s so unpredictable, switching from trying to be helpful to trying to destroy everything. For the last few months, however, he hasn’t shown his good side. He used to be cheerful and polite to at least the outside world. Now, the only time he speaks to people is to complain to whoever will listen to it. To tell them that he feels unloved, despite the hundreds of hate filled looks he has given to every member of his family lately. We try to help him, taking him to doctors to fix the problems he causes by binge eating, eating what he was allergic to, and eating from the trash, which has given him parasites and illnesses in the past. We try to rein him in, to keep him safe, and he states that it is unfair, and he isn’t happy.

But would he be happy living on the streets? He wants to run away so badly, but he can’t even remember to look both ways before crossing the street. He’ll go out in winter without so much as a coat, planning to live outside. My parents are deemed the mean ones, yet without their extreme measures, he would be dead.

Why is it that he is the victim? Is it because he is small and cute? He’s only six weeks younger than I. If I ran around stealing and hurting people, would I not be blamed? Would I not face legal consequences by now? Perhaps only because I have a functioning brain, but then, all the more reason to use unconventional means on my brother. After all, he is an unconventional child. But he’s hardly a child. So do we treat him like a man, who must own up to every crime he has committed, or do we treat him like a child, who needs help making decisions, and must be under the guidance and protection of his parents? He’s nearly a man, but a man who could not survive on his own. So why can he call the shots? Does he know what’s best? He can’t even feel when he’s full after eating three dozen cookies. So why are we taking his feelings into consideration, over his safety and well-being?

Everything my parents have done has been to keep him safe. To keep him alive. Has he always been happy? Well, when one’s greatest desire is to steal from people and live in garages, should one be happy? Not if his joy is causing hurt to both himself and to others. He could be happy. He was happy, when he was a seven year old kid, playing legos with his sister. But then he decided that he knew better. And it has hurt him so badly ever since.

He doesn’t want relationships. He doesn’t care about me, or my parents, or anyone else. He doesn’t care about you either, and if you don’t give him what he wants, you are of no use to him. He only reaches out to people to see what he can get out of them, and if they don’t give him that, the bridge will burn and he will tear down everything, lashing out, and hurting everyone in his way."

please read. Do your research. The current methods of dealing with these kinds of disorders are tearing people and family apart, and causing physiological damage both of those with the disorders and those closest to them.

If this is similar to your story, remember you are not alone. Whatever hurt you are going through, there are people who understand, people who care. keep going sweets, I know it's hard, ik sometimes life is hell, but you can make it. I'm cheering you on.

*disclaimer: I am not saying that this is what everyone with RAD and/or FASD acts like this. There are different degrees, and my brother has it to the extreme. And if you have it, I am not against you. I want to support you. However, this was my life, my experience that needs to be shared.

#reactive attachment disorder #fetal alcohol syndrome #fasd #adoption #foster #foster care #adoptivefamily #mental illness #family issues #family trauma #childhood trauma #RAD

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atinysunbaby · 4 years ago

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Meant to be | Choi San 🖤

Warnings : Cursing, violence, mention of rape.

Words count : 2.2 k

Previous 《 Prologue

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Present

My cheeks are burning from the salty tears escaping my eyes. A tightening feeling in my chest growing by the minute. The sobs keep escaping me, making my body move uncontrollably. Chocking from the sharp inhales and shaking from the cold temperature. This moment, forever will be imprinted in my mind. Those images I wish I could forget, unfortunately will hunt me till my last breath.

I suppose it's what most people feel too when they lose their parents. I wanted to deny it, but I saw their bodies. They were cold, bruised, bloody and no longer held any signs of life.

The last time a saw them, I didn't bother much to say goodbye to them. Only telling them to enjoy their little vacation in the woods. I was more exited about being alone then making them know how much I loved them. Now it's too late, I'll never be able to see their faces again, hear their voices, feel their arms around me when I need them the most.

I woke up to my cellphone ringing this morning, answering grumpily, thinking it was my mom who disturbed me from my sleep. It was actually the cops telling me to come to the hospital, but I wish it would've been her instead. I wish she could annoy me every morning now, but it's over. She isn't here anymore and neither is my dad.

I'm in my room, at this moment, crying my heart out. I ran out of the hospital immediately after seeing their corpses. They wanted me to identifie them, but I left with people screaming for me to comeback. I guess they probably know from my reaction, that it was indeed my mom and dad.

People keep calling me on my phone, but I don't answer. I'm laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling, waiting for my sadness to subside. I know that won't happen anytime soon, but it's the only way for me to calm down. Being surrounded by people telling me how sorry they are for my loss. A bunch of fake assholes making me feel even worse about the situation definitely won't make anything better.

Slowly my eyes get heavy, I try to fight the exhaustion but fail miserably. I fall asleep on the cold floor of my room, my window open and the sound of rain filling my ears. All of this crying definitely used up a lot of my energy.

The car crash, I wasn't there and I have no idea of what happened. But I see it, something is in the middle of the road and dad just told mom a joke. They're laughing.. until they hit that thing, an animal maybe. It goes right through the window and kill my dad instantly, but as for my mom. The car rolls off the road and fall down a small cliff. Mom's still alive, she's in pain, blood everywhere, she's crying for her husband to open his eyes and answer her. She keeps screaming that she can't feel him anymore? His presence? Her breathing is getting worse the more she panics. Suddenly the door on her side opens and something stabs her in the chest, putting a end to her desperate cries. Blood is streaming down her chin, her eyes looking directly through mine while she takes her last breath.

I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I frantically search for a sign of light, I reach around with my hands. My eyes are open wide and my breath shaky, until my fingers brush against an object. I stop every movement, slowly gripping it and letting a breath of relieve when I realise it's my phone.

I turn it on to see a ton of messages and missed calls. One standing out, my aunts name, my mom's sister. I never talked to her, but mom insisted on giving me her number. I look around my room and stand up to look outside the window, only to notice that it's night time. The reason of the darkness and freezing temperature. I close it and turn the lights on in my room. Then I sit on the corner of my bed and hesitate a few minutes while looking at the screen in front of me. My fingers finaly press on call. A few rings later, Aunt Kath's voice is heard. "Y/N! Y/N is it you?"

"Yes it's me.. why did you cal-" I'm cut off by a loud sob. My eyes widen in confusion, but I soon remember that my mom, her sister is no longer a part of this world. I sigh and wait for her to stop crying on the other side of the line. "S-sweetie- where are you? Are you safe? You're not alone ar-"

"Kath, my parents just died. I'm obviously not partying right now, but I'm okay.. I guess.." She stays silent for the next few seconds, my blunt answer probably wasn't expected, but it's understandable. "Sweetheart-I uhh.. you have no one to stay with right? So.. your mom made me your godmother, i-in case anything happened to her.. will you come live w-with me, here in Korea?"

It takes some time to process what just came out of her mouth, my eyebrows are furrowed. Many feelings are fighting to take control of my body, but the one that wins is frustration. "W-what?.."

"She told me to take care of you if she wasn't there anymore... It was just a precaution, but I guess it really happened." She says with a small voice, trying not to upset me further. Judging from my lack of response, she can tell I'm not that excited about this new information. "I asked you, but it ins't really a choice that you have. It's an obligation, you can't stay alone out ther-"

I hang up, not wanting to listen even for one more second. I need some time to think about it. She's right, I don't have much of a choice. I turned seventeen not too long ago and I don't have any family member here. At least none that I know of. I sigh defeated, once again pressing on my godmother's contact.

She picks up not even a second later, as if she knew I was gonna call her back. She doesn't say a word, waiting for me to start talking. I clear my throat after freeing my lower lip from my teeth. "How will I get there? How about my clothes and everything else in the house? My parents' funera-"

"I'll take care of everything you don't have to worry, just bring the necessary and I'll transfer some money on your account so you can pay for your plane ticket. As for the ride to my house, my boyfriend will pick you up" She spend a whole hour explaining to me how everything will go and I agree after hesitating for a while. If my mom gave Kath the role of godmother, she must trust her. So I will trust her too, anyways I don't really have a reason not to. She's been nice till now and she'll even welcome me in her house, she's taking me in. "Thank you Kath, I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done if I was all alone."

Days later

I prepared all my stuff, ready to fly to Korea. It took me a while to accept, but eventually I warmed up to it. It's an opportunity for me, to start over. A new life full of adventure, new environment and culture. I want to explore the world so why not start there.

Unfortunately though, I had to say goodbye to all my friends. We cried and spend the last few days together. We promised to text each other everyday and not to forget about one another. Sad thing is, my friends aren't the only ones I need to leave behind. It's hard to leave the place I grew up in, my house, my neighbourhood, my city, everything.

In a few hours, everything I ever knew will all be in the past. Only the memories will stay, the rest, all gone. So the day my parents died, I didn't only lose them, but my life too. The life they gave me. Now, I have to make a new one, by myself.

Landing in Korea

The flight was boring and quite annoying, I didn't know what to do. A baby cried for what felt like years and a couple had an argument at some point. Then the person next to me started to snore so loudly I thought the plane was crashing. I'm glad to finaly be on the ground, the loud voices of people speaking indistinctly seeming to sooth me from what I went through previously.

I sit on one of the chairs in the airport waiting for James, my godmother's boyfriend. He'll drive me to their house, apparently Kath arranged a room for me already. She doesn't have any kid, so she's looking forward to having me over.

"Y/N!!" I jump from the chair almost falling on my ass. I luckily manage to stay on my two feet and not make a fool of myself. Upon hearing a chuckle, I turn around and see an old looking dude smirking at me, maybe in his late forties. "Umm.. Hi can I help you?"

"James, I came to pick you up remember?" He asks while pointing at himself. I'm still unsure, he's looking at me weirdly. I can feel an odd vibe from him. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I push it aside and nod before following him.

We enter his rusty jeep, the doors creaking when moving. Despite the outside looking a bit ugly, the inside is clean. The only negative point would be the smell, cigarette and..alcohol? Paying a bit more attention to the smell though, it doesn't only come from the jeep. The man next to me is even worst, it seems that he might shower rarely. Subtly, I bring my sweater paws to my nose, looking outside to distract myself.

"So, Y/N! How you holding up?" His loud and deep raspy voice makes me jump for the second time. I turn a bit a towards him not to be impolite and think before answering him. "I guess it's a bit easier then I expected. I didn't think that I'd feel any better, but after a few days it prove me wrong. But I feel bad, to already move on.."

He hums next to me, nodding his head lazily. I wait for him to add something, but the car is filled with silence. I'm relieved he doesn't speak further, not really being in the mood to have a whole conversation, especially with someone I don't know. So, slowly I turn back around towards the window. My mind drifting to the events that happened in just a few weeks, everything is so fucked up. Fortunately, Kath and James decided to help me.

About an hour past since we came out of the airport. We just entered a forrest, James informed me that it'll take a while still. He insisted that I should go to sleep and when I'll wake up, we'll be home. I ponder for some time, but eventually agree. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep due to not being able to get much sleep in the plane.

I wake up when the car come to an halt, a man's voice coming from next to me. Curses escaping his mouth, confused I open my eyes. The events from the previous hours coming back to me, tears threatening to escape my eyes. My body shaking slightly from fear, uncontrollably.

The ride was a lot longer then what James had told me it would be and I slept, only to be woken up by a hand covering my mouth. Horrible things happened in that car and it wasn't a nightmare, no mather how much I wish it was one. He said he would tell Kath it took us some time because of the traffic and the airport. Then he threatened to kill me if I open my mouth.

I can't let him see me crying, I don't want him to have another reason to hurt me. Despite being terrified and completely drained from energy, I swallow the bill in my throat and wipe the tears from my eyes. While I'm breaking down, next to me James is whistling and turning the car off. Announcing with a loud scream to Kath that we arrived.

"Omg! Y/N! Sweetie you really are here." Kath comes out of the house shouting happily, her arms open, waiting for me to give her a hug. I rush to open the door, but a hand grabs my arm. His nails dig in my skin and I whimper, both from fear and pain. "Remember. You talk, you die."

He puts my bag in my hand, pretending to be helping me. Finally I escape the horrible vehicle and run into my godmother's arms with a heavy heart. The second she engulfs me in her warmth, sobs spill from deep within me. She cries with me but not for the same reason. She cries because she lost her sister and now I'm here. I, cry because I've lost my parents, I lost my house, my friends. Because I've been raped less then an hour ago. Because I feel completely broken and hopeless. The new life I wanted for myself, only starts with even more problems then I had before.

Next 》 Chapter 2

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #san fanfic #werewolf au #atiny #park seonghwa #kim hongjoong #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho

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petri808 · 4 years ago

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I1+Nalu Only one bed @thegalilea3 request

The wedding of Laxus and Mirajane Dreyar was a cozy affair attended by only close family and friends. Neither had really wanted a lavish event, so a simple morning ceremony and luncheon in a beautiful garden was perfect. The bride and groom instead funneled the majority of their budget into food, drinks, and overnight lodging for the guests at a small nearby hotel. Lucy Heartfilia was happy to see her friend finally married and settled because Mira deserved it.

Though there was one odd thing about the luncheon— assigned seating. With only 21 people including the bride and groom, it seemed unnecessary. Plus, everyone except Lucy and one other person were a couple anyways. Maybe it was to ensure everyone was accounted for, only Mira knew. As it was, it also meant Lucy was sat next to the only other single... Natsu Dragneel. It was a bit weird, but not a big deal. Natsu was her close friend after all.

The day was perfect in every regard. Clear skies, light breeze with warm sunshine, great food, and jovial company. It was a nice reprieve from Lucy’s job in the city. She missed spending time with her friends, especially Natsu and this provided a perfect couple of days to relax in the countryside. They were best friends, her unrequited high school crush until adulthood sent them onto different paths. University, then careers. The pair stayed in touch as often as possible, but both were busy in their endeavors.

“How has it been at the magazine,” Natsu questioned Lucy. “I see you’ve made it to junior editor.”

“Oh,” she laughed, “yeah, but it’s still a glorified title. I’m really just my bosses assistant.”

“It’s still a big step,” he smiled back.

“What about you?”

“They’re sending me to EMT training next month. So, I’ll be a specialized firefighter.”

“That sounds exciting.”

“I guess,” Natsu shrugged, “I prefer the action.”

Lucy chuckled, eyes crinkling in a smile, “same ‘ole Natsu.”

“Hey you two,” Mirajane waved as she walked over. “How is everything?”

“Hi Mira! Everything is perfect, you did a fantastic job planning it.”

“Aww, thanks Lucy.”

“I was surprised that Laxus finally caved.”

Lucy slapped Natsu’s chest for the comment, but if only made Mira laugh.

“I threatened to leave if he didn’t just get this over with. Anyway, the reason I came over is I just received a call from the hotel and it seems they made a mistake in my booking. Instead of 11 rooms, they only booked 10. Unfortunately... they’re also full.”

“So, what does that mean?” Natsu questioned the woman.

“Well, as singles I had booked you guys your own rooms, because the couples have theirs, which means one of you now doesn’t have one.”

“Oh. It’s okay Mira, I can try and find a room elsewhere for the night,” Lucy chimed in. “Don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Why don’t we just share it?” Natsu then suggests to Lucy. “When we check in, we’ll just ask for a room with two beds.”

“Are you sure,” both Lucy and Mira questioned at the same time.

“Why not? I mean, I don’t mind.”

“Lucy would you be okay with that?” Mira questioned her friend. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Lucy looked at Natsu, then back to Mira. “I’ll be okay. I mean, he’s not a stranger to me.” She laughed although inside she was a bit nervous about sharing a room with him.

“I won’t bite,” Natsu put his hands up in defense. “I swear.”

“Weirdo!” Lucy laughed.

Mira laughed as well. “Great! I’ll let the hotel know the room will be a double occupancy. You guys enjoy the rest of party. Check in is anytime after 4pm.”

“Thanks Mira. And congratulations again!”

Everything will be fine, Lucy assured herself. It’s just Natsu. She knows Natsu. He’s harmless. Spending one night alone together won’t kill her. Just think of it as more time to catch up. Maybe find out why he’s still single. ‘Stop that!’ Lucy chided her mind. She is not asking him that kind of question! Even though she is curious... more so now after having spent the last 4 hours being reminded of what a great guy he was. All the reason she’d crushed on him, his warmth, oof, his smile...

“Wait what?!” Lucy shrieked at the hotel receptionist. “There’s no rooms with two beds?”

“I’m very sorry ma’am, but we only have a few of those and they’re all taken already.”

“What about a roll-away?”

Again the woman shook her head. “We’re just a small country inn. We don’t have those.”

“Oh... my god...” Lucy breathed out. She’d have to share a bed with Natsu?!

Speaking of the man, at that moment, he gently coaxed Lucy away from the receptionist. “We’ll make it work, don’t worry, she’ll be fine,” he assured the woman. “Just give us the keys and we’ll be on our way.”

Once inside of the hotel room, Lucy surveyed their predicament. It was a king sized bed. Great, at least it provided a decent amount of space between them, and it was a very nice room... a bit too nice compared to a standard hotel room. Strange, but maybe it was the only option left because of the full capacity. Well, guess it wasn’t such a bad thing. She could think of it as a sleepover, like the kind they would have when they were teenagers.

The first thing Lucy did was change out of her formal party attire into something comfortable. When she exited the bathroom, Natsu was lounging on the bed, looking through the pamphlets the hotel left on the nightstand.

“What’re you reading?” She questioned him.

“It’s a pretty small hotel, no services, but they do have a restaurant open for lunch and dinner... oh and a pool.”

Lucy hadn’t brought a swim suit, so the pool was out of the question. “What time is the restaurant open till?”

“Um... 9pm.”

“Good. I’m not hungry yet, but in a couple of hours I will be.”

For the rest of the evening Natsu was weirdly quiet. He talked as needed, but it almost felt to Lucy as if he was trying to avoid something. Or maybe it was all in her head. Maybe Natsu was just as nervous as she was about arraignment and was doing his best not to make it uncomfortable. Their conversations were pleasant enough, catching up on their lives, their families, any new interests they may have developed. They’d become functional members of the community in careers they enjoyed. For all intents and purposes, their lives were normal, happy on the surface.

Around 11pm the pair agreed it was time to get some shut eye. It had been a long and contented day, but tomorrow they’d return to their own lives. They chose their respective sides, turning off the light and settled into bed facing away from each other.

As Lucy lay there, she reflected on how things had turned out and of their day. The thoughts in her mind loud against the silence of the darkened room. It felt weird, knowing Natsu lay less then two feet away. Or maybe it was simply weird sleeping in a bed with another person. It had been a couple years since her last failed relationship, so she wasn’t used to this feeling anymore. She didn’t know how many minutes had passed by when she’d heard Natsu shift in the bed and his voice, soft and hesitant cut through the inky blackness.

“Do you ever think about... us Lucy?”

What does he mean? “Us?” She parroted.

“I do sometimes,” Natsu continued. “I think about, what our lives would be like if I’d grown some balls and asked you out years ago... where would we be today?”

Lucy’s breathing slowed as she processed his words. Had she thought of it? Moisture slowly filled her eyes. Yes— yes she had, many, many times over the years. Every time a relationship failed, she thought about it. But she never blamed him because she was just as guilty for not saying something sooner. Yet here he was posing such a question.

Her eyes closed as she spoke. “What are you trying to say Natsu?” She felt him turn over and shift again, then a hand pulling, coaxing her to face him. Once she’d switched sides, Lucy could see his shadowed face, oozing with regret.

“I’m saying...” Natsu reached out and took her hand. “I wish we were an us. I’m saying I want to lay like this every night next to you, to wake up beside you, come home to you. Im saying... I don’t want this to end.”

Lucy squeezed his hand back. “Idiot!” Tears prickling the corners of her eyes. “Why didn’t you say something sooner!”

“I was afraid! Okay?! I thought you deserved better than me and I’d just hold you back!”

“Better?! It was always better together! All these years I’d been lonely and miserable cause no one could replace you!”

“I’m sorry!!”

A few seconds after the last words are screamed, laughter broke out from the two. Unrefined laughter at their own stupidity. They’d both been pining all these years and it took being stuck in a room together for it all to come crashing out.

“Natsu...” Lucy squeezed his hand again, “I’d really love to be an us too.”

He reached over and caressed her face. “I’ve always loved you Lucy, and I wanna make up for all the years we lost. But I have a confession to make.”

Oh, god what the hell now?! “What are you, actually married? No, divorced? Secret kids?! What?!” Lucy trembled as her euphoria threatened to crash down again.

Natsu scratched the back of his head nervously. “No! Nothing like that. The hotel didn’t make a mistake. Mira and I set this up so I could confess. I’d planned to do it earlier but couldn’t work up the nerve until I realized I was running out of time again...”

“Ohhh! Is that it?!” Lucy’s head lolled as she groaned. “You damn goof! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Im sorry!” He chuckled. “I just didn’t want you to find out later. And don’t blame Mira, it was my idea. I’ll make it all up, I promise. I’ll make you forget about those years of loneliness. I’m gonna make you so happy you—”

Lucy sighed. “Natsu?”

“Huh, yeah?”

“Just shut up and kiss me already.”

#nalu fanfiction #nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #nalu au #nalu fan fiction #nalu fan fic #request #one bed

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wisteriabookss · 4 years ago

Text

My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me.

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts.

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it.

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand.

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . . chile um anyways let’s move on.

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes.

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit.

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word.

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing.

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away.

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot.

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

#nesta #cassian #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #elain #elain archeron #amren #sarah j maas #nesta stan #nestastan

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lupinblacktheone · 3 years ago

Text

"So, I was thinking": a modern college!AU:

Johnny is bored. He has already finished all of his crosswords; all of his friends are busy minding their own business and won't pick up their phones.

Classes won't begin until next Monday. Johnny arrived at his dorm last night and he doesn't know when his roommate will be there. All he knows about this person is his name: LaRusso, Daniel.

Wondering about this mysterious boy could set Johnny free from his boredom. Is he a nerd? Or a drama kid? Johnny hopes he won't sing all the time. Of course he likes music (who doesn't?), but musicals... he isn't ready for them yet.

It would be nice to have some common likings with him. Maybe horror movies or breakfast for dinner (well, Johnny is so broke that he eats it for all meals, basically).

Remembering the old times, which weren't good, not at all, tugs at Johnny's heartstrings. He doesn't miss arguing with his parents all the time, but he certainly liked not having to iron his clothes himself. And he misses messing around with Tommy, Jimmy, Bobby and Dutch after school.

Oh, and Karate! Johnny misses it so much that it hurts. He couldn't find a Karate club to join (is this a thing? In Johnny's opinion, it should be. There are clubs for everything in this campus. If he can't find one, he'll form one). Maybe he can practice with Daniel and he could be the second member of the Karate club.

"Hello! I'm Daniel!"

Johnny stares at the boy. He's short, dark-haired and has round brown eyes.

"Johnny", the blond boy gets up, approaches Daniel and shakes his hand. "Can I help you unpacking?"

"Please", Daniel sighs and rubs his neck. "My mother just dropped me off and turned the car around. I barely had time to say goodbye. Can you believe it? I think she wants to rent my room while I'm gone, but I don't think I'll be going home anytime soon. How about you?"

Obviously, the first thing Johnny learns about Daniel is: he's a chatterbox. Second thing: he's from Jersey. He lives with his mother and would love to learn martial arts, but her mother wouldn’t let him because she’s afraid he will get hurt.

"I know Karate", Johnny confesses with a little smile.

***

Sometimes, Johnny regrets having told Daniel about his passion for Karate, because the kid didn't stop begging Johnny for some classes until he finally gave up.

Their dorm is too small and they would destroy it sparring there, so Johnny decides to have the class outside, behind the gym. Daniel said he would meet Johnny there after dinner (and yes, Daniel also has breakfast for all meals, since he is just as broke as Johnny).

December is on the way, so Johnny is wearing as much sweaters as he can (including his Cobra Kai jacket). He leans his back against the red brick wall and puts a cigarette between his lips.

Daniel shows up some minutes later, carrying a heavy messenger bag on his shoulder and wrapped in hoodies and coats (he has lots of cool hoodies; Johnny loves to borrow them and he is using the baseball one right now).

"Ugh", Daniel puts the bag down, massaging his shoulder.

"Are you ok?", Johnny asks with a worried look on his face.

"Perfect. Let's do this."

They get on fighting positions and spar for a while. When they get tired, they walk back to their room, peacefully talking about the day.

"Let me carry this for you", Johnny picks the messenger bag, even though Daniel has already bent to pull it.

He places it over his shoulder and Daniel walks beside him, ranting about his lame Calculus professor.

"I couldn't convince Mrs. Warter to postpone the paper's due date", Johnny complains when Daniel asks about his day. "I'll be lucky if I get a C on it."

"Do you want me to help you?"

Yes, please, he almost answers. Johnny enjoys having Daniel around. They don't have many common likings besides Karate and breakfast food, but he really enjoys staying up late with him, sharing their only desk (Johnny begun to work as a cashier in a store near the campus and Daniel writes other people's assignments for money and they are saving money to improve the place) and laptops on study sessions. Or to spend rare and lazy Sundays in their room, doing crosswords (Daniel bought some magazines and gave to Johnny). Or to share breakfast meals in the middle of the night because they can't sleep.

"Are you free tonight?", he asks, his voice sounds desperate, just as his eyes.

"Is this a study session or a date?", Daniel replies jokingly and raises an eyebrow. "Sure. I can help you."

Johnny opens his laptop and shows Daniel what he's working on.

"I mean, it's not bad, but could use some adjustments here and there. Let's get to work."

Daniel presses the keyboard keys hard with strong movements that emulate a pianist, but with perfectly tied hair. His brain is formulating what should be in the text and getting rid of what shouldn't be read by Johnny's professor.

"I think we're done here", Daniel declares.

"Thanks. I'm gonna buy you a coffee tomorrow, with extra cream."

"Much appreciated", the boy winks and Johnny's heart skips a beat. "So, I was thinking..."

"What a miracle", Johnny teases, smiling to distract Daniel from his blushing ears.

"Anyway, are you going home for Christmas?"

"I don't think so. You?"

"Also no. I don't have enough money for a ticket to Parsipanny."

Daniel looks at Johnny for a moment. His blue eyes are usually shiny, but now... he's more than just sad. Johnny looks depressed and scared.

"Are you alright?", Daniel reaches for Johnny's hand. "You can talk to me. I'm here for you."

Johnny doesn't talk. Instead, he goes for a hug. A big and warm hug. He clings onto Daniel as if he was the only thing keeping him from being blown away.

He doesn't want to cry. However, he can't fight the tears anymore. Daniel holds Johnny, trying to keep him together only with his bare hands. He doesn't try to whisper comfort words in Johnny's ear, he just stays there, providing his roommate all the support he can.

That night, Johnny falls asleep in Daniel's arms. He has never felt this safe before.

The next morning, Johnny rushes to the closest cafe shop to get the nicest cup they have. He drops by the dorm to put the coffee on the desk with a note: To the best roommate ever. Thank you for everything. Love, J.

He sends the paper to Mrs. Warter as soon as he takes a seat in the computer lab for his first class, hoping Daniel's help can save his poor ass from failing Warter's class.

A few hours later, Johnny is waiting for the last class to begin so he can get to work. Not that he likes standing up by a counter telling old people where they can find raisins, plum juice and other things old people buy. But at least, he gets to listen to his music and does little pieces of homework between a client and another.

There is something Johnny can't do at the store: see Daniel. Too bad they don't take many classes together, because every time Johnny sees Daniel entering the classroom, the world changes. It becomes brighter and more beautiful. He knows it's cliché, but Johnny is tired of pretending to be the perfect son, athlete... he just wants to be Johnny.

And Johnny is brave.

"So, I was thinking...", Johnny says when Daniel sits by his side.

"That's unusual", Daniel lets out that amusement air through his nose. "What is it?"

"Do you wanna go out? With... with me?"

That is really unusual. Johnny never was this reticent before. Not even when he noticed he had a crush on Ali Mills.

“Yeah, sure. When?”

“How about Friday? My shift ends at 5:30.”

“Sounds great.”

***

Johnny spends Christmas in his dorm, with Daniel. They curl up on Johnny’s bed, wrapped in Daniel’s hoodies, solving crosswords puzzles and drinking tea while listening to Johnny’s music. Neither of them wants to talk about their families.

Growing up as an only child, Johnny never had to share his things. He wouldn’t even allow Ali to read his poetry (he wrote some about her, tho), or let his friends go through his Spotify playlist. Not because he's embarrassed to like these songs, but because the lyrics describe him so perfectly that he's not comfortable with someone listening to it in front of him.

When he met Daniel and found out they could be good friends (maybe more than that? Johnny certainly hopes so), he felt an urge to take the boy on a journey through his world. First, they shared Karate, then crossword puzzles and went on and on, discovering little things about one another.

“Huh… I couldn’t get you anything for Christmas, so I wrote you a poem. Wanna hear it?”

Daniel doesn’t say anything, just gets closer to him as Johnny clears his throat and searches his notebook for his newest composition. Once he finds it, he puts the paper in front of his eyes (he was brave enough to ask the boy out, but not to have that lovely brown eyes gazing at him while he reads his feelings out.)

“I loved it, Johnny. Now get ready for your present.”

Johnny doesn’t close his eyes when his lips are pressed by Daniel’s mouth. It feels so good that they do it again and again until they fall asleep, holding each other.

***

Graduation is almost here. Most students have moved from the dorms or plan to do it soon. Daniel and Johnny, on the other hand, haven’t mentioned the matter yet. As you can imagine, they don’t want to live with their families again. The only thing Johnny wants is to stay with Daniel and he wonders if Daniel wants the same thing.

“Hey, Danny”, it was supposed to be a nice and quiet study session before the finals, but Johnny can’t hold this down any longer. “I was thinking… do you wanna live with me?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re never getting rid of me, blondie.”

#lawrusso #daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #college au #fanfic #Johnny's POV

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kjack89 · 3 years ago

Text

Determination of Death (pt. 1/2)

Extremely self-indulgent, and the kind of angst I haven’t written in a long while. Because I was having a bad week and figured, hey, why not make it worse :)

I split it in two because it was getting long; second part should be posted sometime later this week.

Former E/R, modern AU. CW: car accident, major injuries, discussion of end of life care, referenced major character death. Y’know. The good stuff.

Joly sighed, staring longingly up at the clock in the emergency room as if he could somehow force it to jump ahead four hours to the end of his shift. Not that he would ever voice the thought out loud, since doing so was the surest way to jinx it, but it had been a quiet night, and this was his last scheduled overnight shift in the E/R for at least a few weeks.

He tapped his pen against the counter, idly wondering if he could maybe sneak out a few minutes early and surprise Bossuet with breakfast in bed. Suddenly, another doctor ran past, donning a trauma gown, and Joly immediately straightened. “What do we got?” he asked urgently.

“MVC,” the other doctor called over her shoulder, using the acronym to indicate a car crash. “Multiple victims incoming.”

So much for a quiet night.

Joly grabbed a trauma gown and followed her out into the ambulance bay to meet the ambulance that screeched to a halt, its lights blaring. “Unrestrained driver,” one of the paramedics reported. “Lost control of the vehicle and crashed head first into oncoming traffic. Nonresponsive at the scene, and we’re gonna need a tox screen – we think she might have been drinking.”

“I got this one,” his colleague told him. “Go deal with the second ambulance.”

Joly nodded and jogged over to the second ambulance. “What do we—” he started as the paramedic shoved a clipboard at him, but his question died in his throat as he saw who was strapped down on the gurney.

It was Enjolras.

The paramedic was telling him something but it was as if Joly had gone temporarily deaf as he stared down at Enjolras, barely recognizable from the injuries he had sustained. Joly catalogued all the injuries he could see with a sort of vague detachment as if he was seeing them on someone other than one of his closest friends, the man he had vowed to walk through fire for.

Penetrating head trauma. Multiple facial lacerations. Chest and pelvis crush injuries. Open tibia fracture. Almost guaranteed massive internal injuries.

It was a miracle Enjolras was still alive, and Joly’s hands started shaking so badly that he dropped the clipboard the paramedic had handed him. “Dr. Joly?” someone was asking, and Joly just shook his head violently and turned away to empty his stomach on the pavement of the ambulance bay.

Christ, he hadn’t puked at the hospital since he was an intern.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his still-shaking hand and straightened to find his colleague gripping his arm and staring at him with clear concern in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” Joly whispered. “I just...he’s a friend.”

Understanding crossed her expression, and she nodded. “Ok,” she told him, her voice calm, soothing. It was the voice they used for hysterical family members, and Joly hated her a little bit for using it on him. “Get in touch with his emergency contact, get them to the hospital. You can brief them when they get here, ok?”

“I want to help—” Joly started, but she shook her head before he could even finish his sentence.

“You’re not a doctor right now. You’re a loved one.” She hesitated for just a moment before adding, with genuine sympathy, “I’m so sorry.”

He hated her even more for that.

Then she was gone, she and the paramedics whisking Enjolras inside to do what they could – if there was even anything that they would be able to do.

And Joly had nothing left to do but to call Combeferre and tell him the worst news he had ever had to deliver.

----------

It was now four hours past when Joly had been supposed to get off of work, and there was no indication that he would get to go home anytime soon. All of Les Amis had trickled in during the night and were now all camped out in the waiting room, eager for whatever news Joly could tell them.

But unfortunately, he had nothing that he could tell.

He pulled his scrub cap off as he slowly made his way over to where they were all waiting, trying to school his expression to something less grim, but judging by the way Courfeyrac’s smile slid off his face as soon as he saw him, he hadn’t succeeded. “How is he?” Combeferre asked, scrambling to his feet.

Joly swallowed. “He’s alive,” he said shortly. “That’s all that I can tell you right now.”

Combeferre and Courfeyrac exchanged glances. “What the hell are you talking about?” Courfeyrac asked, uncharacteristically blunt. “What do you mean, that’s all you can tell us?”

“I mean that I am required to tell Enjolras’s family first before I can share any details.”

Combeferre’s expression was ashen but Courfeyrac’s eyes flashed. “We are his family,” he started hotly, but Combeferre shook his head and squeezed Courfeyrac’s arm.

“Pontmercy,” he said, a little hoarsely. “We need to call Marius. He’s everyone’s power of attorney, remember? He can authorize them to share medical details with us.”

Courfeyrac quickly dug his cellphone out his jeans pocket, dialing Marius’s number from memory. “Come on, come on,” he muttered urgently as he waited for Marius to pick up. “Come on, damnit.”

A pile of coats that had been tossed onto a chair suddenly seemed to stand up of its own accord, and Marius emerged from under them, blinking owlishly as he clearly had just woken up. “Sorry, m’here,” he said between a yawn, and Courfeyrac looked like he was torn between wanting to hug him or throttle him.

Combeferre didn’t let him do either. “You’re Enjolras’s power of attorney, right?” he said in clipped tones.

Marius ran a hand over his face and blinked once more before nodding. “Yes,” he said.

“Then tell Joly that he can share medical details about Enjolras with all of us.”

Marius winced. “Ah,” he said. “Um, there’s a bit of a problem with that. I’m Enjolras’s power of attorney for certain things, mainly related to his estate and his trust fund, but I’m not designated as Enjolras’s medical proxy.”

Courfeyrac looked between Marius and Combeferre, his eyes wide. “What does mean?” he asked, a little faintly. “Who would make the decisions if Enjolras didn’t designate a medical proxy?”

“Well, generally speaking, the closest blood relative would—”

“His parents?” Courfeyrac interrupted, horrified. “He hates his parents!”

Marius shook his head. “No, I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “The problem isn’t that Enjolras didn’t designate a medical proxy, so we don’t have to worry about that.” He winced again. “The, uh, the problem is that he did. And the designation is still legally binding.”

“Who?” Combeferre asked, his brow furrowed.

Marius just gave him a look. “You know who.”

Realization crossed Combeferre’s face, followed by something like rage. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

----------

Grantaire had been, up until that moment at least, thoroughly enjoying his evening. He had been hit on not once but twice at the bar, and had decided to take the second one, a thin, blond man (because Grantaire had always had a type, damn it), home for the night. They were right in the middle of making out like teenages on Grantaire’s couch when his phone rang.

Grantaire groaned and pulled away to reach for his cell, but the blond – Shane? Brendan? something? – pushed him back against the couch. “Ignore it,” he whispered before sucking on Grantaire’s earlobe.

He was only too happy to comply, but unfortunately, his phone had other ideas, ringing repeatedly until the best makeout session in the world wouldn’t have been able to hold his attention. “Let me just get rid of whomever this is,” he said, holding the man on his lap in place with one arm while reaching for his phone with the other. “Someone better be dying,” he said in lieu of a greeting, followed by a very confused, “Pontmercy?”

His brow furrowed as he listened to Marius, and he abruptly pushed the man off his lap, standing up and looking wildly around his apartment. “Yeah, ok,” he said. “Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up and threw his phone down on his couch. “You need to go,” he told the guy he’d brought him, unusually brusque. “I have to get to the hospital.”

“Oh no, is everyone alright?” the guy asked, reaching out for him, but Grantaire brushed him aside, grabbing his shirt from where he had tossed it earlier.

“No,” he said shortly. “It’s my husband. He was in a car accident.”

“You’re married?” the guy asked, sounding almost offended by the thought.

Grantaire closed his eyes for a brief moment, wondering how he had got himself in the position of needing to explain this to a one-night stand. “No, I mean my ex-husband,” he said with a sigh.

“You’re divorced?” the guy asked, sounding even more disgusted by that.

“You know what, I don’t really have time to debate this with you, so while I’m sure you would have been a great lay—” Sudden pounding on Grantaire’s door cut him off and he groaned. “Great,” he sighed, hurrying over to open his door.

He was only a little surprised to see Combeferre standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering Marius’s phonecall,” Combeferre said shortly.

Grantaire rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I did, and I’m getting ready to go to the hospital, so you can just—”

Before he could finish telling Combeferre exactly where he could go, the guy he’d brought home snuck past him, pausing to kiss his cheek and tell him breathlessly, “Call me when you’re back from dealing with your ex.”

Combeferre watched him leave, his expression stony. “Nice,” he told Grantaire, who rolled his eyes again.

“You have no right to judge me,” he snapped. “Enjolras and I have been divorced for longer than we were married, so I’m allowed to do whatever and whomever the fuck I want.”

“Yeah, well, about that,” Combeferre started, and Grantaire frowned.

“What?”

----------

“What?” Grantaire said, his voice cracking. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Marius quailed slightly under his glare. “Well, see, the thing about it is—”

“Enjolras and I got divorced!” Grantaire interrupted loudly. “I signed the damned paper!”

“You did,” Marius told him. “But Enjolras didn’t.” Grantaire’s mouth opened but no sound came out, and Marius continued, “He didn’t sign them, and he didn’t file them, so legally, you two are still married. And legally, you’re still his next of kin.”

Grantaire shook his head, but he still couldn’t seem to manage any words, and Marius reached out to grasp his shoulder. “We can talk through this more later but for now, Joly needs to talk to you.”

Without waiting for Grantaire to reply, Marius spun him around to face Joly, who looked exhausted. “C’mon,” Joly muttered, glancing at all their friends, who were staring expectantly at them. “Let’s talk over here.”

He jerked his head towards a meeting room off of the waiting room, and Grantaire numbly followed. Joly pulled the door open and stepped back to let Grantaire walk in first before following him in, closing the door after them. “So,” Joly started, but Grantaire shook his head.

“No, before you start, I just want to say…” He trailed off, then took a deep breath. “Despite the circumstances, it is really good to see you. I know Enjolras got you and Bossuet in the divorce, but—”

Joly let out what might have been a wordless sob, surging forward to wrap Grantaire in a fierce hug. Grantaire froze before slowly patting Joly on the back. Then, abruptly, his hand froze. “Wait,” he said, his chest tight. “This isn’t a good hug, is it.”

He didn’t say it like a question but Joly still shook his head as he pulled back, his eyes wet and red. “No,” he said hoarsely. “No, it’s not a good thing. It’s—” He broke off and shook his head, his tone turning professional. “It’s not good, R. Enjolras suffered severe internal injuries, but those—”

Again he broke off, but this time, he didn’t seem able to start again. Grantaire swallowed and nudged him gently. “But those?” he prompted softly.

Joly shook his head once as if to clear it. “The internal injuries were severe but probably not fatal,” he said tonelessly. “But he suffered massive head trauma. Part of his skull was broken in the crash and his brain swelled drastically, and likely irrevocably.”

Grantaire reached out wordlessly to grasp the back of a chair, his entire body shaking uncontrollably. “Oh,” he managed finally as he stared unseeingly at the wall in front of him.

Joly quickly wiped a tear off his cheek and cleared his throat. “I know that this isn’t what you expected to be dealing with, but as Enjolras’s next of kin, you have some decisions to make.”

“He’s an organ donor,” Grantaire said hollowly. “I don’t– I don’t know if, in his condition, any of his organs are—” His voice cracked. “—are viable, but if any of them are, he would want to donate that.”

“His heart, his lungs, maybe a kidney and part of his liver,” Joly said, giving Grantaire a watery smile. “He could probably donate those.”

Grantaire jerked a nod. “So then do it,” he said, more harshly than he intended.

Joly’s smile disappeared. “Unfortunately, it’s not that simple,” he said. “It’s...I mean, it’s complicated.”

Grantaire couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“No, I don’t just mean because of you and him,” Joly said impatiently. “I mean, it’s complicated medically.”

Grantaire blinked. “How so?”

Joly wet his lips. “In order to donate organs, a patient must meet one of two conditions. The easiest one is brain death. But unfortunately, we don’t know if Enjolras is brain dead yet.”

“How do you not know that?” Grantaire demanded. “Aren’t there tests?”

“Yes, and we’ve run all of them, but the tests revealed limited functioning. It could just have been an artifact of previous brain activity, so we’ll run the test again in a few hours.” Joly took a deep breath. “But if the repeat tests should even just the slightest amount of functioning, we legally can’t declare him brain dead.”

Grantaire shook his head slowly. “Ok, so what does that mean?”

“It means that him signing up to be an organ donor won’t be enough.” Joly met his eyes. “It means we would need your consent to withdraw life-sustaining measures and allow cardiac death if you wanted to donate his organs.”

Grantaire’s eyelids fluttered closed, and a muscle worked in his jaw for a long moment before he finally managed, his voice sharp, “Fine, whatever, I consent.” He opened his eyes to stare fiercely at Joly as if daring him to say anything. “Do you need me to sign something, or—?”

Joly just shook his head. “Again, it’s unfortunately not that simple.”

“Why not?�� Grantaire asked tiredly, feeling older than he ever had before.

“Because no matter how small a chance it is, if he isn’t brain dead, then there is still a chance—”

“That he could wake up,” Grantaire finished with sudden realization, and he hated himself for the way his heart leapt in his chest, hated that after all this time, the only person in the damn world who could still make him feel something like hope was Enjolras.

Joly nodded. “Yes,” he said. “He could live in a comatose state for...well, technically indefinitely. And there have been cases where someone has woken up after a month, or six months, or a year, or—”

“But what are the chances of that actually happening here?” Grantaire asked, harsher than he intended, trying desperately to quash the hope he could still feel rising in his chest, that there might still be time left with Enjolras, time to at least say goodbye and tell him he was sorry, time to tell him he still – that he never stopped—

“In my medical opinion…” Joly hesitated. “Not high. The trauma that his brain has suffered...and even if he woke up, I don’t think he would be Enjolras anymore.”

Joly’s words hit Grantaire like a punch to the gut, and he sagged, still gripping the chair with all his strength to keep himself upright. “So then that’s that,” he said, his voice trembling, just slightly.

Joly just nodded once. “Like I said,” he said quietly, “you have a choice to make. Not even just in regards to donating his organs, but in regards to if you think he would want to live like this.”

A laugh burst unbidden in Grantaire’s throat, an almost hysterical sound, because that had been one of the last things Enjolras had said to him before telling him he wanted a divorce – “I just can’t live like this anymore,” Enjolras had said, sounding tired, and sad, and more defeated than Grantaire could possibly bear. “And I don’t think you can either. Or maybe you can, but that doesn’t mean we should.”

So Grantaire had signed the papers to dissolve his marriage to the only man he had ever loved and moved out, leaving Enjolras, and Les Amis, and his entire life behind. He had thought that chapter was over, but now—

He realized a moment too late that Joly had asked him something and was waiting for his answer, and shook his head once to clear it. “Sorry, what?” he asked.

“Do you want to see him?” Joly repeated.

Again, the words were like a dagger in him. “Until about three hours ago, my answer to that question would have unequivocally been yes,” Grantaire said, his voice low. “But now, like this…” He shook his head again. “But I have to, though, don’t I?”

He meant it more rhetorically than anything, but Joly shook his head, sympathy clear in his expression. “You don’t have to,” he told Grantaire. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I should though,” Grantaire said with a sigh, scrubbing a hand across his face. “I can’t make this decision without seeing him – without it being real.”

He couldn’t, because no matter how things ended between them, he would never be able to picture Enjolras as anything other than alive, and perfect, and the thought of making a decision about ending his life when that was how he envisioned Enjolras still was frankly laughable. Absurd. Like the world’s sickest joke.

So he needed to see him. No matter how much it would break what was left of him in the process.

“Ok,” Joly said softly. “Then I’ll take you back to him.”

#enjolras x grantaire #exr #enjoltaire #grantaire #enjolras #joly #combeferre #courfeyrac #marius pontmercy #fanfiction #part 1 of 2 #les miserables #former relationship #car accident cw #major injury cw #end of life care cw #major character death cw #angst #all the angst

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chunhua-s · 4 years ago

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Ushijima With A Jamaican S/O!

okay so the first time he heard you speaking patois his brain just.... shut down

what the fuck are you saying? it sounds like english but see because he can only listen to about three english sentences before his mind breaks, he loses track of what you say past the first sentence

it happens everytime a family member calls you — you just.... switch to talking patois, and your poor boyfriend is standing in the doorway of the living room while you’re walking around the kitchen and speaking in all these sounds that make absolutely zero sense to him

it makes it worse that you’re one of the faster talkers (even your family members and friends tell you to slow down because they literally cannot understand a word you’re saying) so whenever he hears you get really excited it just sounds like you’re speaking in cursive

you have these moments where you’ll speak to him, and then if you’re extremely frustrated or passionate with what you’re saying, you’ll just switch to patois without even realizing it. it’s only when you see steam coming out of his ears after you said “no but yuh nah understand weh mah seh to yuh” that you realize what you’re doing and laugh while hugging him in apology

he asks you to teach him 🥺

that’s how he learns that the word bomboclaat isn’t just some weird twitter term but instead a curse word

he starts off fairly well considering patois is kinda broken english, so he can pick up on small things without much help

he understands better than he speaks, but he tries to put in the effort because he’s so interested by it (and by you overall. he loves everything about you. he’ll literally be fine if you say anything to him in patois and he doesn’t even have to understand, he just wants to hear you talk)

he’ll have times when he’ll lie his head on your chest, takes your hand and places it on top of his hair so you can pat him gently, and asks you to talk (that’s a thing between you two actually! just lying on each other’s chests and listen to what they have to say)

he LOVES reggae ( he prefers it over dancehall tbh)

you put on a playlist once during one of your ‘spring cleanings’ (he doesn’t understand why you call it that when you’re doing it in october)

most of the songs are what you heard your uncle play in the yard when you were younger; welcome to jamrock, rocksteady, red red wine and a handful of others

his personal favourite is smile jamaica by chronixx 🥺 it makes him think of you and your pretty ass smile whenever he hears it

when you confess to him that you never really listened to reggae or dancehall much when you were growing up (aside from what you would hear in coaster busses and taxis) he holds your hand and tells you that you both can listen to them together

you love him so much you could cry

you did. you cried because how could one man be so pure and sweet and absolutely wonderful?

his least favourite food is calaloo :( he thinks it tastes too bitter even if he eats it with fried dumplings

he just... you saw the way his eyebrows furrowed in confusion but he continued eating it anyways

when you ask, he looks you dead in the eye and tells you “it’s bitter.”

he still ate it though because you made it

you promise your aunt and mother know how to make it better, but honestly you kinda ruined calaloo for him (he might eat it if you add saltfish though)

but if you give him stew fish and ocra? he eats all of it

i dunno he just seems like that kind of guy

he also loves jamaican curry! your family made it for him when he visited for the first time with white rice

speaking of your family, they love him. all of them were so nice to him when they first met. your uncles shook his hand with the biggest smiles and your aunts all gave him those big hugs with the lil motions where they rock side to side with the hug. each and every one of them welcomed him like they’d know him all his life. he told you later that he was really happy when they all welcomed him like that

your uncles and cousins call him “boss man” and “general.” listen when jamaicans give you a nickname it’s gonna stick. forget your real name, that designated nickname is all they’re gonna call you by.

so anytime you guys visit, he’s the first one they call to, “weh yah deal wid boss man?!” or they dap him up once they get comfortable enough with a “why pree”

the first time he heard them say it he turned to you for explanation, which you told him it’s basically like “how’s it going?”

so you and your family teach him to respond with “mi deh yah” which is like “i’m good.” the first time he says it he actually sounded pretty good! (due in part to hearing you repeat it to whoever you were on the phone with whenever you wanted to hang up.... y’all know what im talking about right? that “yeh man mi deh ere a gwan meds ennuh” when you wanna get off the phone

it was either that or “yuh good though?” those were basically his lil indicators to know when you’re done talking

your uncles tried to get him into playing dominos with them 💀 see i imagine him being absolutely confused the first couple of rounds until he finally catches on, and then he gets into it. you’re just watching him and all your aggressive uncles slam the dominos on the ludi board they use as a makeshift table.

when they offered him a cup of rum he politely declined, but he did get himself a lil bottle of dragon stout to hold on to

when you guys are leaving, he hits them with a “likkle more” (something else you guys taught him to say and you get so excited at how good he sounds!)

in summary, he loves your family and your family loves him 🥰 they always tell you to bring him whenever you plan to visit and when they call they ask about him before asking about you

he basically became their son. you? you’re the stepchild that they forget about whenever he’s around 💀

you’re not complaining, you’re happy they love him so much

and you love him too

this was an incredibly self indulgent hc post and I don’t even know if there are other jamaican hq stans up here but im posting it anyway because 😌 ushijima wakatoshi

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x black!reader #haikyuu x black reader #haikyuu!! x black reader #haikyuu x jamaican reader #haikyuu!! x jamaican reader #ushijima x reader #ushijima x black reader #ushijima x jamaican reader #ushijima wakatoshi x jamaican reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima headcanons #ushijima imagines #haikyuu scenarios

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glitxhwayventeen · 3 years ago

Text

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 3 (I Wanna Know)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, genocide mentions, runaways, mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, crying, mentions of death, mentions of violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Your girl is in some serious fucking pain but she managed to get another chapter out because she couldn’t sleep! So low and behold, I give you a decent chapter for DK

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Hearts Club Master List

Chapter 3: I Wanna Know

You were in heat for a few more days. Seokmin stayed with you the whole time and took care of… your every need. Though he looked worn out, he didn’t complain once. He liked that you let him help you. And he was hoping now that your heat was over, you’d let him in a bit more.

Your legs felt like jello, your hair looked like a birds nest, your skin was covered in variously healed bruises. You were a mess. But it was still time to go back to the pack. You made a promise and you always followed through with your promises, even if you were in a horny induced daze when you made it. You were just hoping they wouldn’t know, or at least, wouldn’t make a big deal out of what had happened.

Seokmin helped get you back to your feet and get dressed, putting your arms through your tank top and putting you in your shorts one leg at a time. He had already managed to get himself together as he had woken up earlier than you had. He figured you’d be in worse shape than him after everything… everything you’d been through and he wanted to be sure you were as okay as possible before you started your journey back home.

“There we go, all done!” He chirped after finally buttoning the last button on your jean shorts.

He took a step back to look at you. Aside from the bruises, you physically looked pretty normal now that he had helped you tame your ridiculously tangled hair. But he knew the pack was gonna smell you. You smelled like him from the week of animalistic sex sessions you two had been having due to your heat. It was unavoidable. He knew they’d all know you two slept together the second you walked through the door. He just wasn’t sure how you’d react to their inevitable and unavoidable teasing.

You quickly looked down after you had seen your reflection in one of your buckets of water, “I look like a walking disaster.” You muttered.

“It’s not THAT bad…,” He failed miserably at reassuring you, “But it doesn’t matter anyways, we’re mates. It doesn’t matter if we slept together or not. We would have eventually anyways” Seokmin tried to reason, bringing himself to walk up to you and hold your small hands in his large ones hesitantly.

“They’re all gonna make fun of me.” You pouted at him, looking down at your feet and smiling a bit in embarrassment.

You had never really taken the time to look at him before your whole mating fiasco happened. You had done literally everything in your power to avoid him at all costs so you wouldn’t catch feelings for him. But now that you had spent a good portion of time alone with him, you realized just how much bigger than you Seokmin was. He always seemed so… subservient around the pack that you never really gave his physical appearance much thought when it came to size. He must’ve been almost a foot taller than you, and now that you had seen him shirtless and naked, you also knew just how much muscle he actually had. He was MUCH larger than you had thought. Even his feet looked like they could crush yours with one fast stomp.

He held back a giggle at your cuteness before he spoke up, “They won’t make fun of yoooou. Especially because you could EASILY beat most of them to a bloody pulp with your special wolfie powers and all.”

“Aya! They’re not special ‘wolfie powers.’ They’re just my normal powers. And it’s not my fault you guys are more diluted forms than me.” You chuckled, playfully smacking his toned chest with your hand.

He cocked his head to the side at your statement, “Is that how it works? The longer the line the less of a wolf you are?” He asked curiously while bringing the back of your hand up to his lips and giving it a chaste kiss.

You almost laughed out loud at his question before you remembered that he didn’t grow up with other werewolves. He was a bitten wolf, not genetically a wolf. You remembered that Seungcheol had told you that no one in his family had ever been a wolf before him. He probably had no clue how it all worked, especially since his pack wasn’t always the best help when it came to educating each other on important matters. You felt a little guilty for thinking he was just being sort of dumb. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know anything about it. So you held back your little outburst and nodded instead.

“Yeah basically. I mean, most genetic lines now can still obviously transform, but they’re still not…” You tapped your chin with your index finger for a moment while thinking of the correct words to explain what you meant, “As much of a wolf as me.” You decided.

Your mate was watching you intensely, listening to every word you said closely, as if he was learning the most important information he’d ever need to know,“I’m honestly probably more wolf than I am human. But most modern day wolves are more human than wolf, that’s why it’s relatively easy for them to assimilate into human societies and blend in.” You informed him, the both of you gathering the rest of your things and making your way out the cave to the path leading back to the forest.

“But hiding our eyes isn’t always easy!” He interjected with enthusiasm you found oddly cute, “If we get too emotional, the potions disintegrate and our real eye color shows. So it’s not really SUPER simple with us.” Seokmin responded, grabbing your hand closest to him and interlocking your fingers.

For a moment, you wanted to pull away from him and push him for initiating the sudden contact. But you also promised him that you’d give him a chance and that you’d try to be the best mate to him that you could be. Plus, the warmth of his hand felt… kind of nice on yours. So you kept your hands together, giving his fingers an involuntary squeeze that made Seokmin’s face light up.

“I suppose you’re right. But really, as long as a wolf can keep their shit together, they can seem very human. When my people were still around, we were very obviously NOT human. We couldn’t be even if we had tried.” You casually let out, skipping over a large rock in your way.

“What were your people like?” He questioned, genuinely wanting to know what your life was like before you lost everything. His pack had tried to ask you before, but you’d always clam up and make up some excuse to leave the conversations. He was hoping with it just being the two of you, you might actually be okay with sharing some more personal information with him.

You waited a moment before you spoke up. What WERE your people like? It had been so long that you hardly even remembered anythings about them. You usually tried to push away all the thoughts of them because remembering all you lost hurt too much. But when he asked you the question, it was like everything came rushing back to you all at once.

Your family, your tribe, your traditions. You remembered how the tribal elders used to let you sit in on council meetings because your father insisted you needed to know everything there was to know about running the tribe. It made you feel so important when he did that, like you were his pride and joy. You thought about all the times you had sat next to your mom as she cooked up potions and remedies in her old stone cauldron for the healer to use on the sick and injured. She always cared so much about everything and everyone around her, you always loved to help her help people. And you could all but see your 11 big goofball brothers running up to you holding their latest hunting prizes with the most giant toothy grins they could muster. Those dumbasses, they always made the most of life. You missed them so fucking much.

Everything started swirling around your head and it made a huge smile appear on your face with watery eyes at the thought of your early life. Seokmin took notice and felt a bit proud of himself that he had made you that happy, you had never beamed a smile that big before in front of him or his pack.

“My people… they were… they were just-” You paused, “They were just the most amazing family a person could ever ask for.” You started, wiping away a sudden tear that had fallen down the side of your face from the memory of them, hopefully before your mate could notice. Of course, he still saw, but he said nothing because he knew it would upset you.

“They were always just sooooo happy. I remember every night was basically like a huge party. We’d all dance and sing around the campfire, there’d be elders telling stories and offering the young words of wisdom while the parents would scold us for interrupting anytime anything got cool or surprising.” You sadly laughed, “We were all just… one big happy family. Even if I wasn’t actually related to all of them. I can’t really explain the connection I felt to them… it was just as strong as the one I had to my biological family.” You sighed, finally reaching the edge of the forest and finding the proper trail for the both of you to set towards home.

He could hear the pain in your voice as you spoke of your past life. You must’ve really missed them. But there were so many questions he still had. What about your actual family? Did you have brothers or sisters? What kind of life did you have? How did you sleep or eat? Where did you come from? But he knew he shouldn’t ask so many at once, he didn’t want to overwhelm you or hound you with his thoughts all at once. So instead, he asked just one question he knew he should probably know the answer to: “What- What happened to them?”

His words made you halt your movements for a second. Remembering that day wasn’t something you liked to do. In fact, you went to great lengths to avoid the memory. It haunted everything you did. Every minute of everyday was plagued with the thought of their demise. You had nightmares every night. You saw their hallowed faces in every person you met. You smelt ash and burnt flesh more than you smelt anything else. Their screams were still stuck to your mind like gum on the bottom of a shoe. It tore you apart to think of it. But still, you knew he deserved to know. You’d want to know if you were him.

“They were… they were massacred.” You sadly shrugged, biting your lip to keep yourself from letting sobs out. He stroked your hand in his in an effort to soothe your sad soul. You took comfort in his small affectionate touch, it grounded you and pulled your tortured mind back down to the conversation you were having.

You took in a deep breath, “It was just any other day, at least, to me it was,” you gulped before you continued, “I was helping my mom with some new herbal remedies for some of our sick warriors when suddenly we heard this loud BANG. My mom wasn’t a wolf, in fact, back then no female was. Well, no female but me that is, but that’s beside the point,” you shook your head and tried to get yourself back on the topic at hand.

“I could feel the vibration under my feet. It was a cannon, but we didn’t know that then. They weren’t really used in our part of the world, they’d freeze in the cold weather and couldn’t always light at the altitude that my village was set on. But somehow, the Cossacks found a way to make them work… they always found a way…” you stated flatly, looking up to the sky out of respect for your fallen family.

“They were upset that my pack had killed some of their soldiers that had hurt a group of women in a neighboring tribe. So they punished us the only way they knew how: by brutally murdering everyone and setting everything they could on fire. Fire’s one of the few ways Icyan wolves can actually be killed. They killed almost everybody. As far as I know, Cyrus and me were the only ones who got out.” You swallowed back the lump stuck in your throat as you and Seokmin continued onward to your destination.

Now this question really worried him, he wasn’t sure if he even wanted answers to it. But he, again, wanted to know more about you and how you got to him. He’d figure it out eventually, might as well try to get it out of you today while he had you going already.

“Can you- can you tell me a bit about him…?” He almost whispered, afraid to say it any louder as he didn’t want to upset you.

“W-What?” You asked for clarification.

“I- I Wanna Know more about… him… Can you tell me about him?” Seokmin stuttered out. He was still unsure if he should’ve said it to begin with, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know more about the man who had you crying constantly over him.

You turned your head to look at him, “About who? Cyrus?” A bit of fear crossed your face as you attempted to confirm what he asked.

“Y-Yeah. He was your mate. And Jun kind of explained what you told him had happened to him the other day, but I don’t know much about him. Like how you two got out. Or why he died…” He looked you in the eyes and say that tears and immense sadness had began to pool in them, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! I just figured… that it would be better to get it out in the open now…” Seokmin bit his lip as he waited for your reaction/response.

“Cyrus was… Cyrus. He is- was… my best friend.” You sighed defeatedly out loud before you continued, “He always took care of me. He imprinted on me right after I was born, so he was always there for me.” You started, still trying to find the right words to emphasize what he meant to you. But it was hard, you weren’t very touchy feely like Seokmin was. Feelings were all new to you, so you weren’t sure how to share them aloud.

You didn’t want to upset Seokmin by speaking too fondly about your past mate, but you also couldn’t help the pang in your heart you felt Everytime you heard Cyrus’s name. Part of you wanted to never speak of him again, another part of you wanted to never shut up about him. Your mind was full of conflict but your heart was full of sorrow. How could you possibly ever forget Cyrus enough to have a new mate? How could you ever emphasize how important he was to you when Seokmin, your current lover, was holding your hand? How were you supposed to pick and choose such things when your heart was pleading for a break?

“Wait- he imprinted on you right when you were born? I didn’t know that was possible…” he lost steam towards the end of his sentence and started to mumble while rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Oh no! It wasn’t like that!” You stopped him before he could get any further, “See, Icyan wolves start to shift really soon after birth, like only a month or two after. So it basically means that we’re able to phase our entire life. Cyrus was only five years older than me. He acted like an older brother to me until I hit 16 ish. But that’s when it all went wrong…” You held back a whimper that was threatening to spill past your lips.

“But the day everyone was killed, my dad and the other wolves came to defend out den. I was hiding in the hut while my mom was trying to do a protection spell. But they had killed most of our warriors already when they tried to save their families. We’re very protective of the ones we love” you sniffled slightly, still trying to hold your emotions back but obviously failing miserably.

“Cyrus came to find me after his family was killed. It was his instinct to protect me first, even though he loved his parents, they had each other still. And I was his mate, that’s how we work, mates and children before anyone else. He came into our home and tried to comfort me. We all thought we were gonna die. They had already killed my brothers by the river bank, it broke my parents. They saw red. But they knew I was still alive. So, before the Russians stormed our hut, my dad told Cyrus to take me and run as far as possible for as long as possible, so he did. After that, we were alone, but we had each other. It was like that for a few years. But then… I turned 16 and everything went to hell.” Your lip trembled and quivered with guilt.

Your current mate whined at your sadness, he wanted to help you, but he knew there was nothing he could say or do to make you feel better. So he just kept rubbing the back of your petite hand and giving you his full undivided attention. You had heard his whine, but you knew it was just because you were upset, so you gave him a small depressed smile before you kept speaking.

“Well you know that he- well that he’s obviously dead. Otherwise we couldn’t have imprinted on each other. But I’m sure you want to know… why he died” you mustered up all the courage you could before finally explaining it all to him, “He saved me. I fucked up. I was spotted by some towns people and he took the fall so they wouldn’t take me instead. Our wolf forms were similar. All Icyan wolves are white, we can just have different patterns to us. The villager that spotted me didn’t see the black spot on my head, he just saw a huge white wolf. They followed me back to our den and they were met with him. He refused to let me go. He was a telepath and he was an alpha. He ordered me to hide and he told me he loved me before he gave himself up to the angry mob.” You stopped walking and let the tears brimming your eyes freely fall.

Seokmin stood in front of you playing with your hair sweetly, trying to give you something to ground yourself and distract you from your heartache. It killed him to see you that way.

“I couldn’t- I couldn’t refuse his order. He was- he was my alpha. So I had to stay and watch them take him back to their town. I left after that to try and find him, he never told me that I couldn’t. But by the time I got there- they- they-” you sobbed out while bringing your shakey hands to your face, “They had already started torturing him. There had been reports of two huge wolves in the area and they thought he would lead them to me if they hurt him enough. But he never did.” Seokmin pulled you into his chest as you cried, barely able to breathe as you convulsed into loud whimpers and wails.

“I- I felt everything. Every cut they made, every punch, every hit. Because I’m of my shaman bloodline, I felt everything he felt, I- I’m an empath. He figured out I was in the crowd and just kept telling me that he loved me telepathically. That it wasn’t my fault. But- But how could it not be- be my fault?” You stuttered as you gripped onto Seokmin’s shirt for dear life, “I got him killed!” You all but screamed, crying into your mate’s chest so hard he was worried you’d pass out.

Seokmin just let you cry. He couldn’t imagine the guilt and pain you must have been feeling. He just held you and shushed you and told you that everything would be okay. But how could you be okay? You lost everyone in the most awful ways possible. No wonder you didn’t want him around before. If he were you, he wouldn’t either. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk losing MORE people.

He knew you thought it was your fault, but it wasn’t. If the roles were reversed, he knew you would’ve done the same thing as Cyrus. Just like he always knew that if push came to shove, he’d do the same exact thing your past mate had done to save you. You were his whole world, he’d never let anything or anybody hurt you if he could help it. He’d defend you with his very last breath if it meant you got even a second longer to live.

After a while, your breathing evened out and your sobs became just tears. Seokmin pulled you back up from his torso to look you in the glistening eyes. He quickly wiped away any water that had streamed down your face in the process. He really wanted to just kiss all your tears away, but now wasn’t the time for that.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). I wish I could take away your pain. But I can’t. The best I can do is promise you that I’ll always be here for you.” He assured you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears.

“Even if I start crying over my dead mate?” You tried to sound sarcastic, but you honestly felt too weak to. It probably came out as more of a whine to him.

“Even if you start crying over him. Or if you miss him. Or even if you just want to talk about him. Or any of them. It’s okay. I understand and I’m here for you, no matter what.” He pecked your nose softly and gave you the most loving eyes you had ever seen.

You couldn’t help but pull him into a sweet, thankful kiss, attempting to show him how grateful you were for him with your actions rather than your words that always seemed to fail you. Once you pulled back, you realized just how tired you were. Seokmin seemed to pick up on it to because, suddenly, you were in his arms being carried through the woods bridal style. You gave him a look of uncertainty, he just nodded at you and gave you a loving smile, signaling that he would be okay to walk back the rest of the way to the house with you in his arms.

You wanted to protest it all for his sake, but your eyelids felt too heavy. So instead, you just snuggled your now swollen face into his chest and let the darkness take over, feeling safe in his arms and knowing he would never let anything bad happen to you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe everything would be okay.

(Updated 9/17)

#seventeen #seventeen angst #seventeen au #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt au #seventeen x reader #svt seokmin #seokmin imagines #seokmin x reader #seokmin angst #seventeen seokmin #dokyeom #svt dk

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nineteenninety-six · 5 years ago

Text

A Tragic Birthday - Pt 2

REQUEST: Can you do a part 2 to A Tragic Birthday with like the funeral and people talking about her and there best memories of her. But with the Shelbys and people like Johnny dogs and Alfie Solomon’s the Jesus’ people like that

Thanks again for 500 followers! You guys are the absolute best <3

TAG LIST: @shadow-of-wonder @stassiebabyy @futuristicslimemongerbanana @dayna041101 @sweetgoodangel @captivatedbycillianmurphy

WORD COUNT: 1613

[PART ONE]

Tommy felt his head began to pound as his siblings and aunt argued over how they were going to do (Y/N)’s final send off. It had been a few days since Tommy’s whole world came crashing around him and now he had to deal with her funeral and the rest of his family. He hadn’t had the chance to properly come to terms of what happened and mourn but he was slightly grateful because he knew that the mourning process would be rough and destructive and he really didn’t want to do it anytime soon.

Arthur and John wanted to do it the traditional gypsy way but Polly and Ada wanted to do it the traditional English way. They were going back and forth loudly and Tommy wanted to scream at them, he was mentally and physically exhausted and all he wanted to do was put his youngest sibling to rest without any drama.

Tommy already had problems sleeping ever since he came back from the war but ever since (Y/N)’s death he hadn’t been sleeping at all. Usually if he drank enough he would pass out but that wasn’t even working at the moment, all it led to was him being slightly drunk at work the next day. So instead of sleeping all he did at night was lay in bed and look out of the window while memories of (Y/N) tortured him.

“Enough!” Tommy cut off the argument, “We’ll give her a normal funeral and burial then we’ll burn the vardo after. Okay?”

Tommy looked at his family waiting for their agreement and when they did, he stormed out of the room and headed towards the Garrison, desperately needing a drink. He guessed that one of his family members was going to confront him at one point and when Polly joined him in the snug with a bottle of whiskey and a glass ten minutes later, he wasn’t surprised.

“You decided on a normal funeral service. I’m surprised.” Polly spoke first.

“This way I can visit her whenever I want.” Tommy took a large gulp of his drink.

Polly’s heart clenched at Tommy’s reasoning, she knew that he was going to have the hardest time with (Y/N)’s death but now she doubted if he would ever recover.

“I think she’ll like somewhere that gets a lot of sunshine and is up high somewhere.” Polly said.

An location immediately came to Tommy at those words, he knew exactly where to bury her, “There’s a place just outside of Small Heath, large field on a hill overlooking the town. We’ll do it there.”

It was a place that (Y/N) constantly visited and found solace in, Tommy had brought her there originally and it became their place but as Tommy got busier with the company she went there by herself a majority of the time.

“Of course.” Polly finished the rest of her drink, “I’ll let you be.”

Tommy nodded his thanks and as soon as the door swung shut behind his aunt he poured himself another drink.

♣️♥️♣️♥️♣️♥️

Tommy stood in silence as Jeremiah read out the eulogy, he couldn’t hear the sobs coming from Aunt and sister as well as the sniffles coming from his brothers, he was trying his hardest but he was struggling to hold in his tears.

The funeral has been a small event, just the Shelby family, Johnny Dogs, Uncle Charlie, Curly and the Jesus’.

They had no reason for a big one, knowing that (Y/N) would have wanted the people closest to her to attend. As the coffin was lowered into the burial plot and people began throwing the flowers they had been holding into the plot, Tommy finally broke. His shoulders shook with the force of the sobs he was trying so hard to keep in, he made no effort to wipe the tears that were running down his face.

A hand on his arm pulled Tommy back into focus and when he looked to see who it was he found his aunt.

“We’ll meet you at the vardo.” She informed him, knowing that he’d want a few moments alone.

Once they left Tommy stalked forward to the grave and fell onto his knees, not caring about the mud and finally let his cries free. He sobbed and screamed until his throat was raw, cursing the god that allowed this to happen. He took a few minutes to calm himself before he stood up and brushed the dirt off his trousers, when he turned around he was met with the hulking figure of Alfie Solomons. He had extended an invitation to the man but hadn’t expected his attendance.

“Alfie.” He greeted once he walked over to him.

“Tommy.” Alfie nodded, “‘m sorry for your loss.”

“Me too.” Tommy grunted.

“Blaming yourself doesn’t help anything.” Alfie informed in

Tommy lit himself a cigarette, “It’s hard not to Alfie.”

“Do you think your sister would have blamed you?”

“No. (Y/N) never held grudges.”

“And from what I have gathered, you were her favourite sibling.”

“Something like that” Tommy ‘s lips twitched

“Then she wouldn’t have blamed you.” Alfie theorised.

Tommy nodded, “You gonna join us on the other field?”

“Nah, you’re alright I’ll leave you lot to it.” Alfie declined the invitation.

“Thank you Alfie.”

Alfie nodded and patted Tommy on the shoulder, “Good lad.”

Tommy and Alfie parted ways and Tommy drove towards the field where Johnny Dogs had set up his own camp along with the vargo that held (Y/N)’s possessions.

When he arrived everyone was placing the flowers on the pieces of wood that surrounded the caravan and when they noticed him they stepped back from the vargo. Tommy made his way over to the crowd and stood in front them, building his nerve and clearing his throat,

“Our (Y/N) left this world too early but during the time she spent on here she made a mark and impact on pretty much anyone she met. She made me a better brother and person and when I was away fighting in the war, I kept thinking about the three year old that I left behind, the one that made me want to change the world.” Tommy paused, “She was the final piece that completed the family and that won’t ever change.”

Tommy headed over to Arthur and passed him the matches and motioned him to do it before walking over to the crowd and standing next to Ada, who immediately wrapped her arm around his.

“You doing okay?” She asked.

“Not really.”

Ada nodded and turned back to where varo, the wooden logs surrounding it were lit and the fire was slowly spreading. Tommy squeezed her hand comfortingly as she began to tear up.

The family watched as the caravan was lit alight for a few minutes before Johnny Dogs came around passing drinks to everyone,

“This is a celebration of life! We reminisce about the happy memories and events we had with the littlest Shelby, no need for the gloom!” He shouted as he walked around.

“Right, remember how she managed to convince me, Arthur and Tommy to buy her a book even though we had a strict rule about she had to finish one before she could get another.” John spoke up first. His story making everyone laugh

“She had the three of you wrapped around her little finger.” Polly laughed.

“Never could trick Ada though could she” Arthur grumbled

“That’s because she learnt those tricks from me. I’m immune to them.” Ada spoke up.

“All she needed to do was pout in your direction and you’d be offering to buy out the whole story. I know she managed to get whichever of you was picking her up from school a bag of sweets for her on the way home” Polly recalled with a smile, “Even though I strictly forbade you to do so.”

“Tommy was the worst! You’d always find them sitting in front of the fire sharing sweets at the end of the day.” Ada chimed in.

“All that sugar making her hyper before bed.” Polly rolled her eyes but smiled. “I made sure you were the one to put her to bed when you started to do that.”

“Tommy’s word was gospel, he told her to go to sleep and she’d go to sleep. “ John said

Everyone laughed at that, knowing how true it was. (Y/N) and Tommy were two peas in a pod.

“I remember when she was a baby she absolutely refused to be held by anyone other than Tom and Pol, screeched her little head off giving everyone on the street a headache until she back in one of their arms.” Arthur recalled.

“The amount of complaints we got.” Tommy laughed.

“What was her first word?” Michael asked.

“Tom!” The Shelby’s all exclaimed, laughing afterwards.

“Fuckin’ smug he was when it happened” John snickered.

“Don’t be jealous John.” Tommy chirped.

“Remember when Tommy found out that (Y/N) had been getting Michael to do her maths homework?” Finn spoke up, loving the stories of the sibling that was closest in age to him.

“I thought he was going to kill me!” Michael said, “I didn’t know it was her homework, she tricked me.”

“She was a good egg, too nice and kind for the horrible world.” Arthur mourned, “But she will be missed.”

Tommy raised his glass in the air, “To (Y/N)!”

“(Y/N)!” Everyone cheered.

The rest of the night followed in a similar fashion, drinks, food and good memories going around celebrating the life of a person very important to them.

#tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfic #peaky blinder imagines #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders x reader #x reader #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinder imagine #angst #tommy shelby imagine #shelby sister #shelby!sister #shelby!reader

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panda-noosh · 5 years ago

Text

the other brothers wedding {finn shelby x reader}

Words: 8.4k

Summary: All Finn needs is a date to Tommy’s wedding.

Warnings: swearing, gets kinda steamy

Genre: fluff (??)

Notes: support my writing or ask me about commissions!

----

“You’re lonely, Finn. There’s no point denying it. I can see it in your eyes.”

The room swallows the words. Absorbs them into the wallpaper. Locks them in for good, so Finn will no longer be able to step foot in the office without remembering this very moment and the way Polly is looking at him now.

All he wanted to do was ask her who had eaten the sandwich he’d left in the fridge. He and Isaiah were planning on getting a few drinks, but it was an unwritten rule between the boys to not drink on an empty stomach.

But Polly had caught him before he got that far, as she often does.

He stands in the doorway, staring at his aunt with what he hopes is a look of confusion, just enough to hide the tiny spasm of panic erupting in his chest.

“You really are a witch, aren’t you, Pol?” he says, putting that tiny smile on his face to hide the truth.

Polly takes a puff of her pipe, blows the smoke directly into Finn’s face. “I spoke to Tommy about you. He’s worried. He’s going to get you a whore to bring to his wedding if you don’t hurry the fuck up.”

“He’s gonna get me a whore? That’s nice of him.”

“You and I both know he’s not doing it for your benefit.”

Finn purses his lips and looks away. “Tommy can do whatever the fuck he wants. He’s never taken an interest in me anyway.”

“I wouldn’t take it personally, son,” says Polly. “He doesn’t care about anyone but himself - himself, and the family image.”

Finn looks up. “What?”

“He may not give a shit about your feelings, but you walking into his wedding without someone on your arm is going to make people ask questions - questions Tommy won’t want to deal with. So, the bottom line is, you get someone for yourself, or he’ll do it for you, and he won’t take into consideration a single STD you might get from whoever he hires.”

Finn scoffs.

“I’m being serious, Finn,” Polly deadpans. “I’m warning you now, for your own sake. Get someone you know is safe and willing, and you’ll be alright.” She raises a brow. “Just for one night. You don’t even have to fuck them if you don’t want to.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Finn asks, because he genuinely wants to know. Polly has gone off the rails these past few years, distanced herself from the family more and more in her attempts to spend more time with her son. She’s also spent a good chunk of Finn’s teenage years trying to ‘find herself’ amongst spirits and other bat-shit crazy things that Finn wants nothing to do with.

Why she is here right now, giving Finn directions on how to see himself through to the end of this wedding safely is a complete mystery.

Finn isn’t sure he trusts it.

Polly takes another puff of her cigarette and turns, facing the window. The velvet curtains match her burgundy dress, a shadow of her slim frame crawling up the wall to her left.

She really does look like a witch.

“I just think Tommy’s getting a bit too comfortable, that’s all,” she replies in that way of hers. “He’s tainted Arthur and John. Ada wants nothing to do with him half the time. I’d hate to see you go down the same path.”

Finn doesn’t know how to respond; in truth, he’s never truly felt like part of the family. He’s got the Shelby name, and he’s part of the Peaky Blinders, but it’s more through association than anything else. Tommy has never looked at him as a true member, has never given him tasks he would give the other Blinders. Finn likes to tell himself it’s because his older brother is protective of him, doesn’t want to see him get hurt - but in truth, it’s most likely more so due to the fact that Finn isn’t the most skilled Shelby boy when it comes to anything pertaining to that kind of thing; he can barely shoot a gun, for gods sake. He wasn’t in the war. His Dad left long before he could ever teach Finn the basics, and his brothers have always been too busy to show him themselves.

Finn is the throw-away piece.

Finn swallows and looks to the ground. “I’ll - uh - have a look around for anyone interesting. Thanks for warning me, Pol.”

Polly nods. The messy bun atop her head slumps forward, but she does nothing to fix it. ”Anytime, Finn. And pick a good one, too. Really show Tommy up tonight, yeah?”

Finn nods. Polly can’t see him, but he does not correct his gesture. Instead, he turns on his heel and heads out, feeling a little bit sick.

---

The news on the front page today is yet another bomb.

It’s a petrol bomb this time - you suppose the culprits are mixing things up this time around, or maybe actual explosives were getting a little too tiresome to lug around Birmingham.

“This isn’t the pub your brothers own, is it?” you ask, tilting the newspaper a little bit.

Ada looks up from the pile of books she’s looking through and shakes her head. “No. Too big.”

“Good.”

“Debatable.”

You fold the newspaper over and stamp it, placing it back in the newspaper rack to your side. Another day doing overtime in the office because Ada needs help finishing up her work before she has to pick Carl up from the babysitters - she’s been stressed out recently, meaning she’s been getting to work later and later, and you’re the only person in the office willing to help her catch up before her time runs out and Carl is left stranded.

“Do you ever plan on making amends with your family?” you ask.

Ada scoffs as if the mere suggestion is beyond her wildest imagination.

You raise a brow. “What about that younger one? Finn. He can’t be too bad. He’s my age, is he not?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well.” You lean back, lacing your fingers behind your head. “I’m only young - I haven’t really had time to fuck up my life as much as your other brothers seem to have done.”

“Finn has messed up plenty of times.”

You tilt your head to the side. Ada glances at you, rolls her eyes and says, “Okay, so Finn isn’t all that bad. Is that you wanted to hear?”

You grin, spin round in your chair and pluck another newspaper off the newspaper rack. You get back to work without a word, which Ada seems most content with.

The silence does not last forever, though, as the staircase to your left creaks; Ada is the first on the scene, craning her neck and saying, “Sorry, love, we’re closed,” but you catch the tiny lick of hesitation at the end of her sentence, the way her expression drops on the last word.

You crane your own neck. “Who is it?”

“What the fuck are you doing here? Who dropped you off?”

“No one.” The voice is familiar, one you’ve only heard in tiny murmurs on the other end of phone calls Ada used to take all the time.

And then he appears in the doorway.

Tall, dressed in a brown suit that hugs his lean frame quite well, you’re embarrassed to admit. His hair is shaved round the sides, just like every Shelby boy you’ve ever known, and his smile is full of innocence, unlike every Shelby boy you’ve ever known.

Ada groans, turning back to her pile of books as you stare at Finn Shelby with your mouth slightly open; he’s got his eyes planted firmly on his sister, and you’re almost certain he hasn’t seen you yet.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” he asks. “You’ve been in hiding for god knows how long.”

“And there’s a reason for that,” Ada shoots back. “A reason you’re damn well aware of, so why the fuck are you here?”

“Nothing catastrophic.” Finn pulls a chair out from beneath Ada’s desk and sits down, crossing his legs. “I’m here for some actual big sister help.”

Ada raises a brow. “Unlike you.”

“Polly’s let me know that I need to bring someone to Tommy’s wedding or else he’s getting me a whore.”

You cover your mouth, stifling your giggle; you aren’t sure why, but you don’t really want to make a noise lest Finn hear you. At the minute, you’re perfectly fine with being the bystander, hidden away in the corner.

Ada takes a moment to respond. She’s got her stamp in her hand, the book open to the correct page, but she makes no move to finish her task. She just stares at the book for a little while, until Finn leans over and clicks his fingers in front of her eyes.

She flinches away. “You’re being serious.”

“Look, don’t make this a big deal,” he says. “It’s just for one night, and I know you’ve got all them friends - normal people.”

“I can’t believe you actually think I’d let one of my good friends waltz into an event hosted by Thomas fucking Shelby. They’ll be dead by the end of the night.”

“They’ll be with me,” Finn corrects. “And Tommy’s already promised this is going to be a quiet night - it’s not like him and Grace. This is purely a wedding for circumstance.”

“Tommy promises an awful lot of things.”

“Please, Ada. I never ask you for fuck all.”

Ada rolls her eyes. “Now you’re gonna guilt trip me?”

“I would never do that to you.” He leans forward, and you almost swear you see him bat his eyelashes.

Ada pushes him away, two fingers pressed to his forehead. “You’re a pain in the ass, Finn Shelby. I wonder where you get it from.”

Finn smirks, and something in your stomach stirs. “I think we all have a bit of that to take the blame for.”

Ada sighs, stamps her book and nods in your direction.

Finn spins around, eyes widening when he realises you’ve been sat there the entire time. You give a small smile, timidly waving.

“Y/N’s single,” Ada says.

Your eyes snap up. “You what?”

“Are you?” Finn asks, suddenly seeming much more lively. His fingers have tightened on the arm rests of his chair, and he’s straightened up significantly, really accentuating his lean torso.

You still haven’t entirely processed what Ada means.

“They are,” she replies when you fail to do so. “I don’t think you’ve been out with anyone in ages, Y/N, have you?”

“I - uh - that’s none of your fucking business.”

“Well, this is perfect.” Finn stands up and grabs your hand, surprising you by pressing a kiss to your knuckles. His cheeks are flushed a bright red colour, and you’re almost certain this isn’t the kind of thing he does all the time - he’s been playing off some kind of script, or some older source has been telling him what to do or say to win you over. Either way, he looks most unnatural in this state, and you can’t help the tiny laugh that escapes your throat.

“Is this for real?” you ask. “Are you asking me to go to your brothers wedding with you? We don’t even know each other!”

“We don’t have to know each other. It’s not that serious,” Finn replies. “Tommy will probably know you’re not my real partner, so he won’t give a shit. We’re just there to make appearances - nothing more.”

“Finn being on his own will be a right embarrassment to the family,” Ada adds over Finn’s shoulder. “Thank fuck I’m a widow.”

You flick your eyes between the two Shelby’s; no matter how much Ada tries to distance herself from them, you can see the clear resemblance, both in personality and appearance. Finn is staring at you with a hopeful smile, and he has the exact same eyes as her, a tiny dimple in his chin, eyebrows that look like they should constantly be arched in anger but are not.

“I don’t even know who you are,” you mumble.

Finn’s smile wavers. “Come for a drink with me, then.”

Your heart jumps. “What?”

“We’ll go for a drink together,” he repeats. “I’ll let you meet my mate, Isaiah. If we run into Tommy, or Arthur, I can just tell them I’ve been seeing you for a while, I’m taking you on a tour of the town-”

“So I’ll just have to pretend to be in love with you?”

Finn grins. “Exactly.”

“You’re saying that like it’s easy.”

“Oh, Finn is very easy to love,” Ada chimes in. Finn blushes at her words, but keeps his eyes on you. “Probably the easiest out of all of us. Go on, Y/N. Give the kid a break.”

You look back at Finn, noting that hopeful spark in his eyes, so like his sisters. You’ve never been able to resist Ada when she looks at you like that.

And apparently Finn is the same.

You sigh, slapping his cheek with a rolled-up newspaper. “Fine. But you’re paying for the booze. I’m sure being a mob boss pays a lot better than working in a book shop.”

----

Finn isn’t sure how to do this.

He knows it’s only fake. This is something he constantly reminds himself as he walks into the Garrison, you trailing close behind him - none of this is real. After Tommy’s wedding, it will all be over and he won’t ever have to put himself through this anxiety again.

But he can’t quite figure out why he’s even anxious in the first place.

He sees Isaiah first, seated at the bar, talking away to the girl behind it. A whiskey glass sits empty in front of him, and Finn says a silent prayer that his good friend isn’t drunk yet.

He turns, glances at you. You’re casting your eyes along the surprisingly well-kept pub, hands stuffed in your pockets, shoulders drawn a little too far up for Finn to be convinced you’re relaxed. It’s complete chivalry when he reaches over and places a hand on your elbow, his attempts at soothing you when he knows his words won’t do the trick.

You look at him. “Your family owns this place?”

“Yeah.”

You nod as if you understand. Finn knows you don’t. Nobody will ever really understand just how far the Shelby’s have managed to leave their mark. Small Heath doesn’t even scratch the surface.

Finn leads you to the bar and pulls your stool out for you. You sit down next to Isaiah with a grateful smile, and it is only then that Finn taps his best friends shoulder and grabs his attention.

Isaiah spins around, eyes widening when he sees Finn standing over him. “That twas awfully fucking quick. Do you know how long I’ve been sat here waiting for you, mate? I downed your whiskey.”

“I don’t care,” Finn replies, before motioning to you. “Isaiah, this is Y/N. The person I’m taking to Tommy’s wedding.”

Isaiah blinks. It’s not a drunken blink, not the ones Finn is used to seeing from his best mate. This is a blink of genuine confusion, slow and deliberate as he trails his eyes along your form.

You offer an awkward wave, and Finn jumps in before Isaiah can pick up on how uncomfortable you are.

“I thought I should introduce you before the big day. There’s gonna be so much happening that day, anyway - don’t wanna add anything else to the list, you know.”

“Man, what the fuck are you on about?” Isaiah thrusts a hand in your direction. “Hello, love. I’m Isaiah. I didn’t realise Finny-Boy was getting any action.”

“Plenty of action,” you mumble in response, and Finn pretends to cough in his attempts to hide his laughter.

Isaiah shakes his head, leaning back against the bar. “This is bloody surreal, I’ll tell you that much. I was starting to think our Finn had no bollocks or something and that was why he refused to talk about the sex.”

You raise a brow, glancing at Finn. “The sex?”

“Shagging. A good ol-’”

Finn slaps the back of Isaiah’s head. “Alright, Y/N, what are you drinking?”

You perk up. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Finn raises a brow. “I don’t know… I’m on the pretty strong stuff.”

You nod. “I’ll have what you’re having.”

And Finn has to admit he’s impressed when he orders you a whiskey - all on it’s own - and you down it in the space of ten seconds, barely even wincing. You order a second one, and the conversation goes from there.

Finn has to watch you. He can’t help it; he knows he’s hit the jackpot. Ada has plenty of friends, but most of them are hardcore Christians who wouldn’t even think of pecking him on the cheek if he asked them to. Either that, or very elderly women, and Finn might have been desperate earlier, but he isn’t sure he’d have agreed if Ada offered him one of her old librarian friends.

It was a miracle, really, that you were sat behind that desk, had heard every drop of conversation, had agreed to come with him, and now here you are, playing the part of his partner in a way that nearly has him wishing this wasn’t just a temporary thing.

At one point, with Finn standing beside your chair, you wrap your arm around his middle and use your other hand to absently mess with the tails of his shirt. You’re still chatting idly away with Isaiah, but at the feel of your nails scratching lightly against the fabric of his shirt, sending goosebumps to race along his skin, Finn can’t drag himself back into the conversation. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, nods along like he’s paying attention.

And then someone claps him on the shoulder.

Finn jumps, nearly spilling his drink over you in the process. Spinning around, he comes face-to-face with Arthur, his oldest brother and biggest pain in the ass. Ever since John died, Arthur has taken it upon himself to be the reckless, annoying brother in the family - only he does it with the added fuel of cocaine.

His grin is clear beneath his moustache. “And what is this?”

Your arm drops back to your side. “Hello.” You glance up at Finn. “Who’s this?”

Finn speaks through gritted teeth. “This is my brother, Arthur. Arthur, this Y/N - my date to Tommy’s wedding.”

Arthur pauses. Finn can see his thoughts racing, fuelled by the drugs and the alcohol and the adrenaline the mix of two can bring.

And then he smiles, so wide and daunting that Finn very nearly grabs your hand and declares he’s off to bed for the night.

“Well, isn’t that fucking lovely?” Arthur hollers. “How many STD’s has this one got, then?”

Your eyes widen. You open your mouth to say something back, but Isaiah stumbles in before you get a chance.

“Nah, mate, Y/N’s sound! An actual, working individual, as far as I’ve picked up. Hasn’t even got the clap.”

Arthur’s eyes widen. “Serious? You’re doing all this for free?”

You swallow. Finn watches your throat bob, reaches down and pinches your shoulder - his way of letting you know that this moment will pass, that Arthur won’t be here for good, you’ll be okay.

He turns back to his older brother. “Where’s Tommy?”

“Out doing god knows what.” Arthur tosses himself onto the stool next to you, orders a whiskey before turning back to Finn. “Honestly, mate, he hasn’t been on a night out in fucking ages. I think Lizzy’s got his balls hung up on the key holder by the front door.”

Isaiah snickers. Even you crack a smile, so Finn lets himself chuckle along.

“I hope this one doesn’t do the same with you,” Arthur continues, nodding in your direction.

Finn opens his mouth, ready to defend your honour or whatever, but you beat him to it. Raising your glass, you say, “Finn is allowed to go on as many nights out as he pleases - as long as he doesn’t mind me doing the same.” And then you down the remainder of your whiskey.

Isaiah hoots, slapping you on the back like you’re one of the boys, fitting so easily in the group. Arthur just stares at you, a look of mild admiration on his face that Finn has not seen in an awfully long time. Not since John died. Not since the world got so dark it was almost not worth trying to see the light.

It makes his stomach curl, a feeling of warmth mixing with that feeling he really isn’t used to.

Arthur glances at him and smiles. Finn smiles back, slowly placing his hand on your shoulder.

---

“I don’t think Tommy is going to like me very much.”

There. You’ve said it - you’ve spoken the truth, the one fear that has been swirling around your brain for the past three days you’ve been in Small Heath.

Finn glances at you in the mirror, too busy fiddling with his tie to pay you too much attention, though you don’t miss the small smile that plays on his face.

You sit on the bed behind him, messing with the cuffs of your sleeves; you’ve been dressed and ready to go since the early hours of the morning, having been far too nervous to just sit around and wait for the time to draw nearer. But now it’s here, and you’re beginning to regret this little arrangement.

“I’m not exactly a Polly Gray,” you continue. “I work with Ada, for fucks sake. How am I meant to impress him?”

“You don’t need to impress him,” Finn replies, because it’s easy for him to say that, easy for him to believe that when he is one of the lucky few who have had a part of Tommy’s respect from the moment they were born.

You sigh, slumping back against the headboard. “What kinds of things would he like to talk about?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“He’s your brother.”

“He’s a businessman.” Finn frowns at his reflection, undoing his tie for the nineteenth time.

You roll your eyes and make your way towards him. He doesn’t notice your presence until your centimetres away from him, and you’re not really sure what comes over you when you reach around him and start fixing the tie for him.

His muscles tense against you, and one glance at his reflection reveals the fresh pink hue added to his pale cheeks; your own face is heating up considerably, and it’s with an awkward stumble that you back away from him once the tie is done up.

He swallows. You can see his Adams apple bobbing.

He turns then, giving you a small smile. “Thanks. I’m shit at formal wear.”

“I find that hard to believe considering you live in a suit.”

He scowls. “Nothing like this. I don’t know what Tommy was thinking setting this as the dress code.”

You grin. “Are the Shelby brothers gonna be wearing matching suits?”

Finn glares.

You laugh, nudging his shoulder. “Kidding. Unless you are, in which case - that is very adorable, and I look forward to seeing it.”

---

Even though Tommy Shelby has not been in love with anyone since dear old Grace, he has certainly gone all out for his necessary wedding.

You don’t recall ever stepping foot inside such a nice building. Much too large, far too roomy, but pleasant nonetheless. Tinkling music rings softly through the spacious halls, and pictures are hung up along every wall, a mural of Tommy, his son and daughter and his soon-to-be-wife greeting you as soon as you step through the oversized mahogany doors.

Your breath leaves you in a single swoop, and Finn must hear you because he immediately grabs your arm and loops it through his own, guiding you through the house.

“Is this Tommy’s fucking house?” you hiss under your breath.

Finn smiles, giving Alfie Solomons a smile as the two glide past each other. “Did I not mention he’s got a shit ton of money?”

“I kind of picked up on that, but this is… a bit overkill.”

Finn snickers. “Keep your voice down. It’s his special day, after all.”

And so the two of you walk through Thomas Shelby’s mansion, nodding and greeting people you have no affiliation with, people you will never see again, all whilst trying to keep up the image that you and Finn are very much in love, have been in love for a while.

At some point, an elderly woman asks when the two of you plan on getting married. Finn, always the gentleman, replied with, “When there’s a baby on the way.”

You glare at him even now as he continues to snicker at his own humour. “It really wasn’t that funny,” you say. He simply winks in response.

You spend the evening clinging to his arm. You’re good at small talk, and nobody seems to have much of an interest in you nor Finn, so it’s easy enough to breeze through the crowd without earning too much attention.

However, these people are still Finn’s family, people he knows, people who have seen him grow up. It isn’t long before an elderly woman has grabbed his arm and dragged him away from you for a ‘quick catch up drink,’ an event you’re clearly not invited to.

You’re left entirely on your own in a room full of people who associate themselves with the Shelby’s.

Your safe place is the bar. You trudge through the thick crowd of excited party-goers, keeping your head down lest people lock eyes with you and try for conversation; you’ve never been a particularly antisocial person, but you’ve never dealt with the Shelby’s before, either - not unless you count Ada, and never before have you heard her state her last name as ‘Shelby.’

You approach the bar and order a drink - a whiskey, because you desperately need something to get your mind off what is actually happening. Now that Finn isn’t here to distract you, you’re feeling the full heaviness of this situation.

Pretending you’re in love with someone? It seems so bizarre, almost embarrassing. You barely know Finn, have only heard short tales and brief descriptions from his older sister, and yet here you are, hanging off his arm, laughing and smiling, listening to people talk about marriage that just makes your stomach turn to liquid because goodness gracious what would married life with Finn Shelby actually be like?

You down your whiskey.

“Slow down there.”

The voice is cool, smooth, recognisable even if you’ve never heard it before. Only recognisable because everyone in Birmingham has heard of the man who owns it, heard his life, his story, the lengths he will go to to get what he wants.

Slowly you turn in your seat. There he stands, the groom, the infamous Thomas Shelby, dressed in a suit that nearly makes you gasp with how expensive it looks, all gold chains and thick fabric. He’s gone all out for his special day, yet despite the effort put into his outfit, he is putting no effort into arranging his features to look even remotely pleased to be here.

“You must be Y/N,” he says. “I’m Tommy.”

“Tommy,” you repeat, even though that wasn’t what you were supposed to say. “Uh - Congratulations on the big day. Where’s the wife?”

He sits down and faces the bartender, ignoring your question. “A whiskey, please.”

You purse your lips, slowly turning back to the bar. Your glass is empty, your head spinning, your anxiety skyrocketing; what do you even to say to someone like Thomas Shelby, someone who has been through hell and still managed to crawl out the other side being even more successful than when he walked in?

“Finn’s told me nothing about you,” he says.

“Oh.”

“Are you in love?”

It’s such an abrupt question, and even though you’ve been telling people all evening that you and Finn are head-over-heels for each other, you can’t bring yourself to lie to him.

He glances at you through the corner of his eye, purses his lips at your silence and says, “Don’t worry. I understand.”

“He’s a good kid,” you hastily reply.

“Better than the rest of us.” He sips his whiskey, slow and mysterious for absolutely no reason, but it unsettles you anyway. “You work with Ada, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“How is my little sister getting on?”

“Good. She’s good. So is Carl.”

Tommy nods. “Good.”

You look away. “You’re not mad that I’m here, are you?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Well… You don’t really know me.”

“You’re here with Finn.”

“Technically…”

Tommy shoots you a glance, one eyebrow raised. “If I’m being honest, Y/N, the fact that you’re helping my brother out at all is enough to be put in my good books.”

And for just a moment you think you’ve misheard him. You turn, scanning his face for any flicker of humour, any sign that he’s just leading you into a false sense of hope right now - you wouldn’t even be surprised.

“I was watching you both when you walked in,” Tommy continues. “You must have said something funny, because I’ve never seen our Finn smile like that.”

Your face heats up. “I don’t… We get along really well. It’s easy to make jokes with him.”

Tommy nods. Says nothing, and it drives you insane, because you want to hear exactly what he’s thinking. You want him to stop this mysterious bullshit he seems to think he needs to keep up, because all it is is a waste of time, especially considering you’ll never see him again after tonight.

You lean forward, trying to catch his eye, but he keeps his gaze on the table, aimed directly at his hand. On his finger is a wedding ring - not the one Lizzy put there tonight, but the one Grace put there years ago. “Is it hard for you?”

He doesn’t look up, as if he expected you to ask that question, had been preparing an answer from the moment he sat down. “It doesn’t get easier.”

“Finn was telling me a little bit about her. How much you loved her. How much you miss her.”

“Yeah, well.” Tommy draws his shoulders back, inhales before taking a swig of his whiskey. “Finn would know firsthand; he saw the state I was in.”

His face is not the one of a man newly married. He’s sombre, jaw clenched and shoulders tense. You have half a mind to whisk him away, break him out of this venue so he can go off and live a life he maybe deserves - in all honestly, you don’t know what that life would ever entail. One look at Tommy’s track record would make anyone believe he deserves nothing more than a hole in the ground.

“I don’t want him going through the same thing,” he says suddenly. “I pressure him a lot, but I want him to settle down with someone he loves. I want him to have something like Grace and I.”

You blink. “He’ll find someone. I’ll - I’ll keep an eye on him, Tommy. I will.”

Tommy nods thoughtfully. There is nothing much left to say besides that, so together, you and Tommy sit at the bar and share a final glass of whiskey before Lizzy emerges and whisks him away to a life he does not want, a life he may or may not deserve, a life you do not want to imitate for yourself.

You glance over your shoulder when the night starts drawing to a close; Alfie Solomons has already left, claiming he had to feed his dog; Johnny Doggs and his wife have already left; Arthur and Linda have already left, though that decision was made more by Linda from what you could tell during the brief goodbyes in which she hastily pecked your cheek, wished you luck in the Shelby family and then fled the scene.

It feels like you’ve been at the bar all night, a waste of a good evening, in your opinion. The class and the grand lifestyle the wedding projected was certainly not for you, but you’d be lying to claim the free bar did not settle your nerves a little bit.

Plus, knowing Finn was there for you was a good comfort.

Your drowsy by the time the dance floor starts clearing, mind awhirl. You push yourself away from the counter, smiling to people you haven’t spoken to all night, saying hello to people who probably just think you’re part of the staff; at this point, with this much alcohol in your system, you don’t even care. Let them think whatever they want. You came here to help a friend-

Friend.

Can you even call Finn Shelby a friend? Do you even want to call him a friend? The more you think about it, the more your skin heats up. His hand on your own as he guided you through the crowd, his breath on your neck when he would lean in to whisper in your ear - just the thought of it is enough to make the word ‘friend’ sound so inadequate, so unsuitable. In your drunken stupor, you nearly start laughing.

But that is such dangerous ground. He’s a Shelby, and if there’s one thing your parents - god rest their souls - would disapprove of, it’s you getting involved with a Shelby. Ada is bad enough, and she’s nothing more than a dear friend.

“There you are.”

You whirl around. A piece of hair falls from your up-do and cascades across your forehead; Finn frowns, gently pushing it away as he analyses the dilation of your eyes, your cracked lips which are stretched into a smile that really makes no sense, because nothing is funny right now.

“Are you alright?” he asks, and he looks so good when he asks it, because his mouth just forms the words like he invented the god damn English language or something, and ugh-

You wrap your arms around his shoulders. “When we get married, Tommy is invited. Best man, Tommy Shelby. How does that sound?”

Finn draws away, keeping his hands on your waist. “Okay, you’ve definitely had a bit too much to drink.”

“What do you think about pre-marital sex?”

His eyes widen, cheeks going red almost immediately; it’s so adorable. You giggle and press a kiss to his face that he doesn’t recoil from, but he certainly doesn’t react how you want him to.

You pull away. “Okay, maybe you’re not as big on pre-marital sex as I thought.”

“Y/N-”

“Sorry.” You step back fully, crossing your arms behind your back like a child being scolded. “I need to learn how to bite my fucking tongue, don’t I? Very not classy of me to-”

“I don’t give a shit about classy.” When he says it, it mingles with a laugh, so the words sound jolted and lighthearted, even though you feel nothing but pure anxiety right now. “Do you know the amount of whores I’ve been with, Y/N?”

Your eyes widen. “Finn Shelby, I am not a-”

He steps closer, lowering his voice. “What I’m trying to say, love, is that pre-marital sex isn’t that big of an issue.”

Even in your drunken state, his words fluster you. You open your mouth to respond, perhaps some witty, sarcastic remark that will make him believe his confession didn’t completely sober you up in the space of two seconds - but the words fall short, and your shock filters through, and the only thing you can do is stare at him with wide eyes.

He chuckles, and for a moment, he looks just like Tommy, sounds just like Tommy. It’s weird, because for the time you’ve known of Finn Shelby, he has always been described as the quiet one, timid in his own sense, staying close to the background because his brothers never let him come any further forward.

But here he stands, making these snide little remarks and these tiny little jokes that leave you speechless, despite you being the one to have started them.

You look to the floor and cough. “How long is this thing meant to last?”

“The wedding?”

You look up. “You know what I mean.”

Finn grins, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his dress trousers. “You don’t have to see me again after the wedding. I won’t be offended.”

But there’s a bit of a dip in his tone that makes you look back up at him and raise a brow. He’s looking at you again, head tilted when he says, “Do you want me to walk you home?”

“Do you want me to go home?”

He pauses. “I don’t know.”

“Not like a Shelby to be unsure of what he wants.”

“I know full well what I want.” He takes a step back and holds out his arm. “But you’re pissed out of your head, and I’d rather wait till you can form full sentences.”

---

You think it’s quite unfair that you have to go into work the day after the Shelby wedding.

Ada takes one look at you when you walk through them mahogany doors and bursts into laughter; you don’t need to hear it from her. You know you look a mess, hair half-done from the night before, clothes leaning more towards comfortable than stylish. You honestly couldn’t bring yourself to wear anything fancier than a shirt and trousers today, and you’ll gladly slap any fucker who has anything to say about it.

You slump down behind your desk and send Ada a glare. “You look chipper this morning.”

“Mm. You see, Y/N, I was actually responsible last night and remembered I have work this morning.”

“Aren’t you going straight to heaven?”

Ada laughs even harder. You roll your eyes, turning to the stack of newspapers you have to finish sorting through before your boss walks out and sees you didn’t finish them a few days prior - the very day Finn Shelby walked into your life and derailed everything.

Part of you knows it’s dramatic; you’ve known Finn for only a handful of days, but he’s the same man you’ve been hearing about from the first day you started work with Ada Thorn, the same man who invited you to his brothers wedding, the same man who told you last night that he would gladly have sex with you, but was decent enough to wait until you were sober enough to give proper consent.

You haven’t stopped thinking about it since then. Last night, your alcohol-infused brain ran at a million miles per hour as you pondered over whether or not you would ever take him up on his offer, if that was even plausible considering the circumstances; he was a Shelby after all, which - on its own - is a big enough reason for you to take a step back and move on.

It’s as these thoughts crawl back to you that you notice Ada staring at you from across the office. You perk up, giving her your best smile, as if she can somehow read your thoughts of her brother.

“Finn was good to you last night?”

Apparently she can.

You look away. “Fucking hell, Ada. Give me a chance to settle in before you start, yeah?”

“I’m just curious. I barely saw you two last night.” She folds her arms across her desk and leans forward. “You were at the venue, weren’t you?”

Your cheeks heat up. “Yes, Ada, we were. And then he walked me home, and it was lovely - but nothing else happened.

“Hm.” She draws back. “That was gentleman-ly of him. Didn’t expect it from one of my brothers.”

“I thought you said he’s the decent one.

“Oh, he is. But that’s me comparing him to actual fucking murderers.”

You shrug. “Fair enough.”

Ada takes a moment, but when she responds, her voice is soft, unlike anything you’ve heard from her before. “He really is a decent bloke, Y/N. He’d treat you well if you’re looking.”

Your eyes shoot up. “Who told you I was looking?

“Well, you’re single, you have absolutely no social life outside of this office-”

“Don’t fucking flatter yourself.”

“-and I saw the way you and him spoke to each other.” You open your mouth to respond, but Ada holds up a hand to silence you. “I’m not suggesting anything before you take a fucking hissy fit, alright. I’m just saying - if no one else is ringing any bells for you…”

You kind of hate that she has a point.

You scoff and roll your eyes, tell her to get back to her work, but you ponder over her words for the remainder of the day - not because they were ridiculous, but because you can see where she’s coming from, why she would think like that. And it’s not as if you and Finn spent the night hanging from each others arms - in fact, you spent most of the night apart, considering Finn had family to impress and you were more interested in the free bar than anything else - but still. When you were together, there was obviously something there.

Maybe you’re just flattering yourself, seeing things just because you want to see them. Maybe Finn really did think of this whole thing as nothing more than a fun little business deal, a taste of the world his brothers have estranged him from since he was a little boy. In years to come, someone will ask Finn Shelby what his first Big Business Deal was, and he’ll be able to say “I convinced someone to go to my brothers wedding so I didn’t have to sleep with a whore,” and that will be the end of it. You will be nothing more than the one who went to the wedding.

The one stupid enough to go to the wedding.

The day drags on after that - partly because of these new thoughts, and hugely because of your massive hangover. Ada tries her best to help you through it, returning the favour, but she has to leave at half six to pick up Carl, and you’re too polite to ask her to stay and tend your emotional wounds.

So she leaves, and the office is quiet, and you finish up her work for the day because you’re also too polite to let her get in trouble by not finishing her work.

The door starts to slowly open at around half seven. Already the streets of Birmingham are getting dark, the kids ushered into their homes as parents notice the street lights turning on, a sign that the fun is over and it’s time to start putting the little ones to bed.

You look up from the pile of unstamped books you’ve been working through for nearly an hour now. You see nothing, just a sliver of light and a faint shadow creeping beneath the opening door. Your heart speeds up for a reason you can’t pinpoint - the most likely case is one of your co-workers has come back to check on you, which they do quite a lot considering you’re one of the youngest employees.

You crane your neck. “Ada?”

“Close.”

Your heart plummets. “Finn.”

He pokes his head round the door, offering a grin that doesn’t look a single bit pained - the bastard got off without a hangover, then. Typical. Unfair.

He steps into the office, waving a jug of whiskey as he does so. “I brought gifts.”

“You can keep them,” you reply, gesturing to the books in front of you. “I’ve got work to do.”

“Boring.”

“And a hangover.”

He snickers, tossing his fancy blazer off his shoulders and onto the chair he then proceeds to slump into. “So last night caught up with you, did it?” He pauses. “How much do you remember?”

“Enough to know I don’t want to talk about it.” You don’t mean to sound so harsh - it just kind of happens. Finn’s expression doesn’t waver, but you see him drag his lower lip between his teeth for the briefest of moments, the only sign he’s actually heard what you said.

You continue stamping the books. Finn watches, taking the occasional sip of his whiskey.

“How was Tommy this morning?” you find yourself asking, just to make conversation.

Finn chews his bottom lip. “Decent. Busy. Didn’t really talk to him much.”

“Not even a congratulations?”

“Pretty sure I told him I felt bad for him, but that was about it.”

“Affectionate.”

Finn shrugs. “You know me.”

“Do I?”

“Better than you probably should.”

You purse your lips, stamping a book a little harder than necessary.

Finn leans forward, placing his joined fingers on top of the stack. You pause, flicking your eyes up as if to say do you need something?

He tilts his head. “You’re really gonna just sit and pretend like last night never fucking happened?”

Your grip tightens on the stamp. “I thought that was what we both planned on doing.”

“That was before we had our little conversation.”

“Little?”

“Would you say it was a big deal?”

Fuck.

You look down again and shrug, shoving his hands off the pile so you can continue working. “I would say I was drunk, and so were you-”

“I don’t get drunk.”

“You had alcohol somewhere in your fucking system, Finn, so neither of us were in our right minds.”

He scoffs. “Speak for yourself, love. I was perfectly fine, and I knew exactly what I was saying.” He leans forward. “And I remember exactly what you said, too.”

“Why are you such a pain in the arse?”

Finn pulls back, holding his hands by his ears in mock surrender. “Hey, just tell me to leave and I’ll walk out that door and never turn back. Simple.”

You open your mouth to say just that, because that sentence would make things ten times easier. Finn will leave, and you’ll hurt but it will be okay because you’ll be left with no other option than to forget him. You’ll never have to deal with the consequences of being with a Shelby if there was no Shelby left in your life to be with.

But again, the words die. The truth pushes against your rib cage, the feelings you’ve been unable to deny from the moment he walked into your life and said come to my brothers wedding.

Finn watches your hesitation, and then you watch him smirk, like he’s figured out some plot twist in a story he’s invested himself in. You grit your teeth and look away, shaking your head at the table as if that will somehow change something.

“You’re a pain in the arse.” The words come out as a whisper. You’ve cracked. Finn can see it.

He doesn’t chuckle or goad. He instead stands up and walks around the table. You tighten your grip on the stamp, refusing to look up even when you feel his presence hovering over you, willing you to notice him, notice him, notice him, everything will shatter if you notice him.

His presence alone is strong, making you weak in the knees. But then he reaches forward and runs a finger along your jaw before cupping your chin and guiding your head to look at him. You have no other choice - you could close your eyes and pretend none of this is happening, but then you would lose the experience of having Finn Shelby look at you with that fire in his eyes, and you’re not really willing to do that.

So you look back at him, and he smiles.

“I don’t know how any of this shit works,” he says softly. Too soft for a Shelby. “You’re gonna have to help me out.” He tilts his head. “Do you wanna help me out?”

You swallow, eyes drifting to his lips before you can stop yourself. “I - I can try.”

Finn smiles once again, and then that smile is placed against your own. You didn’t realise just how desperately you wanted to feel his lips, didn’t realise just how desperate last night had left you - but now it’s happening, and the dam has broken, and your clawing at his shirt, drawing him impossibly closer until he’s forced to press his fingers against the wall behind your head just to keep himself upright. He grins against your mouth, tongue slipping between your teeth before he draws back and lifts you up. It startles you, but you wrap your legs around his waist nonetheless, letting him press you against the wall as his hands fumble for your hair, knotting themselves in the strands; you do the exact same, and he groans into your mouth, pulls away just to nip at your jaw before he realises he wants to feel your lips a little more and goes back to square one.

“Good,” he whispers against your mouth. “Good, good.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you hiss, pulling him in for more. He laughs, breaking away from the kiss to trail kisses down your jaw, towards your neck, fingers kneading into your thighs as he holds you against him.

You tilt your head back. “Finn.”

“Mm?”

“Ada will kill me if I don’t get this work done.”

Finn pauses. His breath lingers on your flesh, and for a second, you’re tempted to just pull him back and forget you ever said anything - you’re sure he won’t mind, considering the hesitation in his movements when he finally draws away from you, letting you drop back to the floor.

You look up at him and smile. He smiles back, a hint of frustration building behind the expression, but he’s kind enough to let you waltz past him, back to your desk.

“Sorry,” you say, fighting to control your grin. “A busy day. You know how it is.”

“Mhm.”

You glance over your shoulder. “Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not-” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “I’m not mad.” He slumps back in his chair, waving a lazy hand towards the pile of books. “Do whatever the fuck you have to do.”

You grin. Finn rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling too - a smile you had yet to see on a Shelby boy until now, a smile of genuine amusement with absolutely no malicious intent behind it.

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