#like a really really old computer trying to run Minecraft shaders

[darkfluffydragon]

Cookie Run AU Ideas #8: Timeless Kingdom

what if Pure Vanilla Cookie, instead of being amnesiac outside with Black Raisin, was instead trapped in the Vanilla Castle time loop? But because of the Light of Truth, he's aware of it? he's been stuck there for...hundreds of years, watching his people die over and over again nothing ever changes no matter what he does and then finally, Gingerbrave shows up. I mean, PV may be nice but there are only so many times he can hear the same monologue before he gets reaaaally sick of it gonna join GC on the hate train and he physically isn't able to do anything "out of script". Every time he tries, he sort of 'loses control of his body', since it's a memory time loop you can't just change a memory and since he's a part of it, it'll force him to go along with it. To play his role. Gingerbrave and his friends probably wouldn't even realise he's not a memory at first, that the Pure Vanilla is the real one.

And an extra I wrote for the AU >:3

Pure Vanilla Cookie awoke with a start, his eyes snapping open to the familiar sight of his bed’s golden canopy. His head throbbed, and his mind felt muddled, a fog of pain and confusion clouding his thoughts. He struggled to sit up, the effort sending sharp jolts of agony through his body. As he gathered his bearings, fragments of memories began to resurface—the battle against Dark Enchantress Cookie, the ruins of his castle, and the faces of his friends, Golden Cheese Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie, Hollyberry Cookie, and White Lily Cookie.

They had arrived to aid him, late, their expressions grim and determined. By then, he had already spent hours running through the chaos, trying desperately to heal his people. But no matter how hard he tried, the cake monsters kept coming, relentless and unyielding. He remembered the wounds they all bore. The exhaustion that clung to their bones as they fought to protect their home, their kingdom. With his magic reserves depleted, there had been a point where he had started reaching into the depths of his being, drawing upon his very essence—his life powder and soul to fuel his spells.

He remembered the final confrontation against her, he had used Dark Moon Magic, a power he had sworn never to touch. ~~The magic most natural to him.~~ The last time he had seen it wielded, it had led to the academy's destruction. But there had been no other choice. He had cast the banishment spell, lifting himself into the air as Dark Enchantress Cookie tore their Souljams, their very souls, from them. The explosion had ripped through the kingdom, the pain blinding and all-consuming. And then, nothing.

Now, here he was, awake once more. Why? How? As these questions swirled in his mind, he felt a strange sensation, as if invisible strings were tugging at his limbs. Panic surged through him as he realised he was moving against his will, his body tracing the exact path of his memories. He tried to speak, to cry out, but no sound escaped his lips.

“No! Run! Dark Enchantress is coming! Evacuate the cookies!” he screamed, his voice hoarse with desperation. But the words seemed to dissipate into the air, unheard and unheeded. The cookies outside moved about their routines, oblivious to the impending doom. Children played in the streets, vendors hawking their wares, and guards patrolled, all blissfully unaware of the threat looming over them.

The nightmare would unfold before him with horrifying clarity. His friends—the heroes—were nowhere to be seen. Instead, dark silhouettes had taken their place, shadowy figures that seemed to mock his efforts. Was it because of the Souljams? Could this memory not replicate them because of the artefacts which housed their power? 

The endless battle raged around him, the air thick with the stench of smoke and the cries of the wounded. Cake monsters swarmed the castle, their grotesque forms looming over the terrified cookies. Pure Vanilla’s attempts to heal his people felt like trying to stop a flood with a sieve. Every spell he cast seemed to evaporate into nothingness, swallowed by the overwhelming darkness.

The invisible strings tightened around him. It constricted his movements, squeezing his mind. His autonomy slipped further away with each passing moment. The fog in his mind grew denser, suffocating his thoughts.

He felt every wound, every drop of jam that spilled, every life that was lost. He could see the faces of his people contorted in terror and agony, and hear their screams echoing in his mind. His friends fought, their forms blurred by exhaustion and jam. Yet no matter how hard they fought, the cake monsters kept coming, an endless tide of destruction.

The sky would fill with magic circles, blue eyes of the runes staring down at the target as he used magic that he swore to never use, for the second time. He would see her malevolent grin, and feel the agony of the explosion that followed. 

And then, he was back in his bed, the cycle beginning anew. The loops continued, over and over, each one more harrowing than the last. As time stretched into eternity, Pure Vanilla Cookie felt his thoughts growing quieter. Centuries seemed to pass, each loop eroding a bit more of his will. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, and soon, he feared, he would no longer be able to think. In the moments of silence, his mind would turn to White Lily Cookie, the one he had loved so deeply. She had become Dark Enchantress Cookie, the architect of his suffering and the destroyer of his kingdom. Yet, despite everything, he still loved her.

The pain of that love was like rose thorns digging into his heart, a constant, aching reminder of what once was. He had loved her so dearly, had kept her transformation a secret from their friends, hoping against hope that she could be redeemed. But now, as he watched his beloved kingdom and its innocent people crumble time and time again, the anguish was almost too much to bear.

To love White Lily Cookie was to love a rose. To love her was to let the rose crawl up him, letting its hurtful thorns dig into his fragile dough. His jam would paint the delicate petals red, and once gone, wounds and scars would be left to taunt him of his foolish desire.

She had been gifted a bouquet of hearts, yet the only one his moon had taken was his own. She dangled the prize in front of him like a carrot on a stick, and he ran the race despite being the only competitor. She blindfolded him of the fact, and let Pure Vanilla run himself ragged until he could give no more. Then, she left. Left with everything that was Pure Vanilla, left him empty and hurting. Trapped. Left in all her gentle and loving glory, as her beautiful soul was tainted and twisted into the monster that had taken her place.

He did not care for the traitorous thoughts wondering if he was feeling the wrong feelings and thinking the wrong thoughts. He could not care, for he loved her nonetheless. Loved her poisonous, uncompleted promises. Loved her for the nights of waiting by the academy garden, gazing up at the sky, at clouds that would never part to allow him a glimpse of her smile. Loved her for the incomplete dances she swore she would return for, leaving him alone and abandoned in an empty ballroom. He loved her unconditionally. And for this, White Lily Cookie had become his greatest torment.

Each encounter felt like a knife twisting deeper into his heart. The sight of Dark Enchantress Cookie, her once gentle eyes now filled with malice, was a reminder of everything he had lost. She had been his moon, his guiding light, and he had loved her with a purity that he had thought unbreakable. But the darkness that had taken her was relentless, and it had shattered her, and him, beyond repair.

The White Lily Cookie he loved was gone, replaced by the Dark Enchantress Cookie who revelled in his suffering. She was the creator of his endless torment, the reason his kingdom lay in ruins, and his people were lost

What a fool he was.

Pure Vanilla Cookie, awoke in a bed not his own. His limbs were not strung by strings that cut into his dough, and his thoughts were…loud. Clarity such as this was so incredibly rare.

He took in the room, noting how the other cookies, the ones who had…saved him, were still asleep. Quietly, he slipped out of the room, his steps soft and deliberate, as if any sound might shatter this fragile moment of peace. The hallway was dimly lit, shadows playing along the walls. He moved with purpose, though his heart was heavy with the familiar ache of his memories.

Reaching the garden, he paused for a moment at the entrance, breathing in the cool night air. The scent of flowers and earth was a reminder of simpler times. He walked towards the patch of lily flowers, their white petals glowing softly under the moonlight. 

Sitting down among the lilies, he stared up at the moon, its pale light casting a gentle glow over the garden. The tranquillity of the night wrapped around him, and for a brief moment, he felt the weight of his sorrow lift.

His thoughts turned, as they always did, to White Lily Cookie. The moon reminded him of her—bright, beautiful, yet distant and untouchable. He remembered their nights in the academy garden, the way she would laugh and talk about the future with such hope. Those memories were bittersweet now, coloured by the centuries of pain.

The garden was silent except for the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze. Pure Vanilla Cookie closed his eyes, letting the memories wash over him. He could almost hear her voice, see her smile. But then the image would shift, and he would see her as she was now—cold, dark, and filled with a malice that seemed impossible for someone who had once been so kind. He hated that he loved White Lily, a love that had once been pure and untainted. But he loathed Dark Enchantress to the point it hurt.

As the night wore on, Pure Vanilla sat alone. Though he could pretend that he was not, that there was another by his side. Perhaps…even four, all five of them together, underneath the starlit sky with the scent of campfire smoke in the air.  He did not know how long this clarity would last, how long before he would be pulled back into the muddy thoughts and fog. But for now, he rested in the peace of the garden, and the bittersweet memories of the one he loved.

Under the moonlight, surrounded by the lilies, he allowed himself to simply be. To remember, to grieve, and to love, even if it was only for a brief, stolen moment.

[jromanoff]

I could ask Regina and reader are dating and reader introduces Regina to Minecraft for the first time and she's like "this game is for nerds" but she ends up liking it and they play together and they're cute

An introduction to Minecraft II R. George

Pairing: Regina George (2024) x Reader

Warning(s): none

Authors note: I had so much fun writing this, thanks for the request. Sorry for taking so long to write it though, it sent me back into my own Minecraft spiral :)

Summary: You introduce Regina (and the other Plastics) to Minecraft.

Word count: 2k

The doorbell rang. Finally. You quickly ran to the front door and found a package sitting on the doorstep. Shouting an excited “Thank you” to the delivery man who walked away, you got back inside and ran up the stairs to your room.

You bounced on your toes as you tore open the package. The label confirmed your excitement: inside was the new graphics card you ordered.

Regina, lounging on your bed, glanced up from her fashion magazine, a curious eyebrow raised.

"What's got you so hyped?" Regina asked, flipping a page nonchalantly.

"It's my new graphics card, an RTX 4090! My current one is really old," you replied, eyes sparkling as you carefut took the graphics card out of its packaging to install it.

“Nerd…” Regina mumbled, watching with curiosity as you installed the graphics card in your PC.

“All done!” you grinned and closed the case of the PC. You plugged the PC in and pushed the ‘on’ button. Within moments, the computer roared to life, the sound of fans humming filling the room. Your fingers danced over the keyboard as you started your favorite game: Minecraft.

“Woah! I have like 600 fps!” you said excitedly as you joined a server. “Oh and look at the graphics- I can even use shaders without lagging”

"I have no idea what you’re talking about, it’s-“ Regina moved to look at your screen. “You seriously play that?" Regina asked as she looked at your screen with a frown, her tone dripping with skepticism. "This game is for nerds. Well- every game is, but you get what I mean,” she rolled her eyes.

You chuckled and shrugged, unfazed. "It's actually pretty fun,” you glanced over at Regina, a playful challenge in your eyes. "Wanna give it a try?"

Regina hesitated, this game was for nerds, but she was curious. With a dramatic sigh and a roll of her eyes, she slid off the bed and approached your setup. "Fine, but only because you're so excited about it," she said, taking a seat on your lap. You smirked, Regina could never refuse a challenge.

Regina turned to look at you in your lap. “Let me show you how a real pro does it,” she said with a smirk.

You guided Regina through the basics of the game enthusiastically. To her surprise Regina found herself getting drawn into the game, she didn’t let it show, though. She already had a few ideas for what she wanted to do and build in the game and it was a good opportunity to have quality time with her girlfriend.

You noticed Regina’s small smile and her attempt to hide her enthusiasm about the game, so you made a mental note to download the game on her laptop later so the two of you could play together.

The next day after school, Regina came home to find a surprise waiting for her. You stood in front of her, holding up her laptop. It was a ridiculously expensive laptop for someone who only used it for school, its specs more than enough to run Minecraft.

“I got something for you," you said, a proud smile on your face. "Minecraft is installed and ready to go, now we can play together. I already added my server to your server list.”

Regina took the laptop, her initial reluctance giving way to genuine excitement. "Alright, let’s play then," she said with a grin.

You took your own laptop out, having Minecraft installed on both your PC and laptop so you could play at Regina’s house too. The both of you sat down at the massive table in Regina’s living room with your laptops. Mrs. George was out of town for a few days for a “mental health retreat” to a spa resort, as she called it, so you and Regina had the house to yourselves. Good for her, really.

You were the first one to log into the server, then Regina followed.

QueenBeeRegina joined the game

A smug smile appeared on Regina’s face as she saw the username that you chose for her appear in the chat. “That’s just perfect, baby. Now everyone will immediately see who’s boss on our server,” she looked over at you “Speaking of which… I decided that you’re building me a castle after yesterday.”

You looked at her in surprise “A castle? Seriously?”

Regina's eyes sparkled with determination as she leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “Yes, seriously,” she said, her tone leaving no room for any protest. “I want a big castle. It needs to radiate power and elegance, just like me. You need some ambition in this server of yours.”

You glanced back at your screen, looking at the blocky, green landscape with trees in front of you. Building a castle from scratch was no small task, but just like Regina, you could never resist a challenge.

“Alright, but you have to help with the design. I’m not building you a castle just for you to blow it up because it’s not to your liking,” you conceded, meeting her gaze again.

“Deal,” Regina agreed, a playful smirk appearing on her face. “But don’t think I’m going to gather recourses and all that boring stuff. I’m more of a visionary.”

As you started to gather resources by cutting trees and mining, Regina began scouting the world for a perfect place for her castle and potentially an entire kingdom.

“This has to be the most fabulous castle in Minecraft,” Regina mused as she finally found the place to build her castle. “I want a big throne room, kitchens, chandeliers and banners. I want the whole package.”

Regina’s passionate talking about the game was absolutely adorable to you. You looked away from your game to admire her. She was focused on the screen, her brow furrowed as she was figuring out the foundation of what would soon be her castle. You couldn’t help but smile at how engrossed Regina was in the game and how relaxed she was.

“Hey,” you said softly, not wanting to break the calm and quiet that had settled over the room. “I’m glad we’re doing this together and that you’re enjoying it.”

Regina glanced at you, her expression softening as she met your eyes. “Me too,” she admitted. “I didn’t think I’d actually like this game, but… it’s kind of fun. Especially with you.”

With that, she returned to the game, her usual confidence back in place as she started issuing orders. “I need like, a lot of cobblestone, wood and probably some pink stuff for aesthetics too,”. Pink. Always the damn pink with her.

“So demanding,” you muttered, which earned you a playful glare in reply. Despite Regina’s demanding nature, there was something really attractive about seeing her take charge, even in a game.

You turned your attention back to your own screen. “I’m building a storage room here temporarily to store all the building materials, then I’ll start gathering stuff again,” you told Regina as you started building something resembling a shed.

“Good,” Regina replied, looking at where you were building in-game. “And we’ll continue tomorrow after school right?” she questioned you, trying her best to sound nonchalant.

“Yes, baby. We will.” you agreed with a chuckle, looking at your girlfriend fondly. It was a rare sight to see her so invested in something she considered to be an activity for nerds.

The next day the two of you went to Regina’s house after school again to play Minecraft. You were already logged in on your server when a message appeared in the chat.

orandge joined the game

“Uhm, baby? Who is joining our server right now? Their username is orandge,” you questioned Regina as she got the two of you something to drink. You didn’t give out the IP address of the server, so it must’ve been Regina.

“I think that’s Karen. I gifted Gretchen, Karen and Cady Minecraft so we can all play together,” Regina said excitedly as she sat down behind her laptop, logging in on the server as well.

QueenBeeRegina joined the game

“You mean to tell me that Karen managed to install Minecraft and add my server all by herself?” you looked at Regina in surprise.

Regina rolled her eyes “Karen’s just… simple. Not stupid. Surely she can install a game on her laptop on her own,” she frowned “Although… on second thought... Gretchen probably helped her.”

TheFetchest joined the game

“Well, that just confirmed my suspicions” Regina remarked as she watched Gretchen’s username appear in the chat. “She’s still hung up on making ‘fetch’ happen. So annoying,” she complained.

“I don’t know, I think her username is kinda fetch,” you replied with a smirk.

Regina shot you an unimpressed look “No.”

CadyFromKenya joined the game

“That’s the lamest name ever. She could’ve literally chosen anything else,” Regina commented with an eye roll as she saw Cady’s username.

“Be nice,” you scolded her playfully. Regina only gave you a middle finger in response.

Regina then turned her laptop towards you and opened some double chests for you to see. “I gathered some more materials last night, so we can start building.”

“I thought you were a ‘visionary’ and didn’t do resource gathering?” you teased your girlfriend with a grin.

“This was an exception, a one time thing. Gathering resources isn’t really befitting of a Queen, now is it?” Regina replied confidently with a smirk.

“You’re something else,” you shook your head in amusement, returning your attention to the game as you saw Karen type in the chat.

orandge: where are you guys???

QueenBeeRegina: I sent the coordinates in the Plastics gc

The two of you continued to build the castle as Cady, Gretchen and Karen made their way to the coordinates you were at. Karen only died twice, but that meant Cady and Gretchen had to pick her up again at the spawn twice too.

At last Regina saw Gretchen and Cady walk up to her. Cady was accompanied by well over 20 tamed wolves and two parrots on her shoulders.

QueenBeeRegina: Cady wtf

CadyFromKenya: They’re so cool right??

QueenBeeRegina: …

Suddenly, you heard a soft hiss from your game, followed by an explosion.

orandge was blown up by Creeper

orandge: oops

“Karen just let a creeper explode in my storage room,” you looked at Regina in disbelief. Regina just burst out laughing “Typical Karen.”

A part of the chests were gone and materials were scattered everywhere, including several flowers that Karen had collected in her inventory.

“Perhaps we can let Karen build the big garden around the castle, it seems like she’d like that,” you suggested to Regina as you saw the flowers she collected on her way to the castle. “Great idea,” Regina smiled.

QueenBeeRegina: Karen? You can help build the garden, just make it pretty.

orandge: yay!!! i love flowers

TheFetchest: And make sure it has a lot of pink so it fits the aesthetics, Karen

orandge: i love pink

At the end of the week the castle stood proudly on the server and Regina was satisfied with the result. Her throne room was massive, just like her throne that stood at the end of the room. She was already brainstorming new ideas for the server, the castle was just the beginning. She wouldn’t settle for anything less than a kingdom.

There were also two new additions to the server that week.

PyroLez joined the game

FierceAndFab joined the game

“Baby,” Regina started, her tone deceptively sweet, “why are they here?”

You give her a calm smile despite sensing Regina’s irritation. “I thought it would be fun. The more the merrier, right?”

PyroLez: never thought I’d see the day that the Plastics would play a video game

QueenBeeRegina: Yeah. Shut up or I’ll ban you.

FierceAndFab: you can’t ban us, that’s homophobia

QueenBeeRegina: …

Regina rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the small amused smile that creeped onto her face. “They better not mess up my castle. I swear, if they touch it it’s on you,” she looked at you pointedly. “Besides, Janis is definitely taunting me with that username,” Regina huffed.

“Probably, and it’s working,” you looked at Regina’s pouty expression. “You look adorable like that.”

“Shut up.”

You were definitely curious to see how Janis and Damian would fit into this dynamic.

[cryptidmomochi]

what's been totally fucking batshit to me is that the ports/remasters of Rune Factory 3 and 4, fucking DS games btw, make my surface hot as a goddamn oven. I would literally have less of a problem just emulating the game. Other games of similar quality do not do this.

I can't run slime rancher 2 on it at all and even my actual fucking gaming PC can't run it nearly as silky fuckin smooth as slime rancher 1 even at the lowest settings. Maybe this is a slightly unfair comparison given slime rancher 2 isn't done, but at the same time, if they're not optimising their code from the start they're going to run into the same issue the among us team where the code is so jank that they'd have to redo it anyway, and that just wastes time.

There are some things that are just not super possible on old hardware. My dell pc can't play most games because it doesn't have, like a separate graphics card (or something. i don't honestly understand it). Won't even run sildurs shaders, which are the lightest shaders around.

I actually remember I couldn't run Starbound and Chrome at the same time on the dell. I couldn't do Minecraft and chrome either. I could also only run Minecraft if I also had optifine installed, presumably because there was some horrible jank related to the graphics code that optifine fixed. I shouldn't have to use mods to make the game run right!! This was at the time a computer that should have been able to handle these games just fine! Starbound is LITERALLY pixel art tf you mean it lags really fucking bad if I have the wrong thing open.

Shit like minecraft shaders and not being able to run Vampyr are why I ultimately upgraded.

Chrome running as ass as it does is a pretty big reason why I switched to Firefox even though Firefox doesn't have tab folders like Chrome does (which is a crime btw).

Putting the game's default settings in the middle or, god forbid, the highest settings, instead of starting them at the lowest so that the player can actually move if their computer struggles at higher settings is also a really annoying and stupid choice that I've seen made over and over and over and over again. If the graphics are making my computer lag really badly, it's going to be horrible and hellish to try to change the graphics settings.

Btw 25 kilobytes in the original Super Mario Bros

we should globally ban the introduction of more powerful computer hardware for 10-20 years, not as an AI safety thing (though we could frame it as that), but to force programmers to optimize their shit better