#like I know guys I know prisons are fucked up and so is the judicial system as a whole but this fucker I’d love to watch him burn

[abbeykb]

Ever just know you shouldn’t be looking something up because it’s bad for your mental health and then you do it anyways?

[science-lings]

Being annoying about each option under the cut

1- Ryunosuke has no other pictures of his bestie's face except for the one of his 'corpse' and that is Fucked Up, which is why I love it. this hc is based on the fact that during my playthrough I looked at the picture so many times bc I missed him immediately. Anyway 1-2 was the worst day of his life and the moment where he was given the photo for the first time really stuck with me.

2- They get to switch off being each other's judicial assistants and they both get to be different flavors of transmasc, I think it would be fun for them. Would they have to attend classes at Yumei to even be considered lawyers? who knows the point is they do it together and are like those cats that bond together and get sad when they get separated.

3- If they are in the same room together that sword is being switched back and forth several times, 'I think it matches your outfit today' or 'I'm on my period I shouldn't be in possession of a deadly weapon' or 'you said in the custody agreement that I get it on weekends' etc etc etc... Though it tends to go with Ryunosuke when they are separated for long periods of time. That sword is symbolic of so much gay shit in these games what's a little more.

4- my guy talks about 'the look' in Ryunosukes eyes so much during the last case, what are you looking into his eyes for? Heterosexual reasons? sure... (also 'fancy meeting you here' that is a pick-up line, you're in a prison, not a bar) Anyway his feelings towards Ryunosuke are complicated and he's so mad that at least one of the feelings in the emotional cocktail is something like attraction)

5- There's that disaster lesbian thing going on but also the situation was pretty stressful but one day she will wake up and it will hit her that her friend was still very interested in her even after she knew it was her in the disguise.

6- Sholmes keeps trying to refer to himself as 'the root of all evil' and how he's 'drawn to the darkness', he's trying so hard to be edgy but he's a six-foot-tall lanky blond man who is dramatic in the silly way and drapes himself over Ryunosuke at every opportunity. Either he's trying to build some kind of reputation or he wants to appeal to the local goth milf populace (Sithe and Tusspells) or even the reaper himself (there's some messy ex energy going on over there...)

7- I need Phoenix to inherit Karuma, he knows a bit about it but he doesn't make a big deal about it. He does have a few prosecutor friends who know the blade and are so annoyed that he's not super proud to own it. Also it's funny to me if the only family that Phoenix knows are a couple of victorian lawyers that haunt him. I think they should watch over him and be a little horrified. Ryunosuke was excited when he was intending to be a performing arts student as a fellow drama kid but it doesn't surprise him that he chose to become a lawyer. It's in his blood.

8- You cannot tell me Ryunosuke didn't want to fling himself off of that boat every night he was stuck in the room he thought Kazuma was killed in. He just didn't want to ruin Susatos trip to England by leaving her alone and he goes into a depression when she leaves for Japan, going so far as to avoid looking at the photo the 221b fam took before she left because it made him sad, which gets put up every time by Sholmes who Gets It. Meaning that he went up to the Naruhodo consulting agency regularly to check up on him. I like to think Sholmes was genuinely worried during the months he spent banned from the courtroom and without his weirdgirl who he bonded with through his best friends 'death'.

9- Wagahai is a good kitty, she can tell who the most depressed person in the building is and follows them around, sometimes Ryunosuke has a nightmare and wakes up with a cat right up by his face.

10- Ryunosuke starts the Naruhodo family tradition of not talking about their personal lives to people they care about and making their own little patchwork family for themselves. Practically all we know about his past is that he's afraid of doctors and studied English from a young age. And then like three months after going to a new country and meeting new people he's just like 'neat this is my family now :)' there is something going on there I swear. I have many conflicting ideas about what it could be specifically though.

[madchild-dennis]

God said to pursue $10 Million JMD, but I don't want to.

Yes, as I live this no "working" life, I NEED money. Like I mentioned at the end of this post:

God has been telling to pursue some money. But I don't want to do what God asked.

Why?

God is asking me to demand 10 million JMD from the shit that nearly raped me. That's after learning months ago from someone who was in a similar situation as me, asked for money after the case keep dragging onwards.

I don't want to do it because it benefits no one, except me or the children if it goes as such. But it will be the continuation of this disgusting behavior by doing so. It does not curve it but encourage it and make it deemed acceptable and okay if you have money. That would be the message being sent if I do as God asked me based on my limited knowledge of how the system will accomplish it.

The person who had a similar situation. In her situation, she was physically injured and it left a wound, in addition to the attempted rape incident that happened to her. So, he was charged for the offense he couldn't deny. But the attempted rape offence case was dragged on. Then she asked for money instead. She said it caused the case to be dropped.

Yes, mine is being dragged on. As in, it's after summer is over, before I have to go to court. Personally I prefer he goes to PRISON. This guy is a predator and if he hasn't done this before or actually raped someone (sex via coercion is rape no matter what). He WILL do so again. In fact, one of his friend and ex girlfriend told me point that's how he is. To have him on the streets with the mindset that it's ok or just get some money and you'll be fine to continue, is fuckery.

But Jamaicans will disagree with me. They are so used to sexual assault, sexual indecency, sexual offences and more. They live with it like it's okay. Then victim blame or judge people who dress a certain way and never hold the men accountable. This mindset is especially from WOMEN. This is how the are, that they dismissed a whole JOURNALIST's complain about being threatened with rape. The FUCK!?!?

How the fuck the PNP officials who do not control who supports them, going to say the journalist wasn't threatened with rape. How do they know that? Were they with the journalist EVERY STEP OF THE WAY? Do the know EVERY SUPPORTER? Can they vouch for ALL of them? Can they read ALL of the supporters mind or tell their intentions? EXACTLY!!!

You can walk on the fucking streets of Jamaica in short shorts or a burka and you'll hear a man shout sexual slurs, including rape-insinuated acts. I heard it often and had to ignore it. Why? The police DOES NOT CARE. They're going to say "him just like you". I've had people stalk me, talk about wanting to eat me out or some other shit. People I've never know nor met before.

In fact I worked somewhere in Jamaica where a 1/2 drunk man came in every day to harass me and say he wants to marry me. I didn't like it but my superiors brush it off and jokingly say "him just like you". Ignoring his behaviour or encouraging it. A guy who is friends with a known pedophile in the area who pays his way out of prison when he's caught.

Why THE FUCK would I encourage this behaviour? What kind of precedence would I be setting?

In fact, I really don't want to do what God ask. I thought of compromises but the Jamaican judicial system is NOT like north America. I want to say it's weird, because I don't understand it. Clearly I want him charged and it on his record so that if he ever does it again or prevented from work around children or such, it's there or KNOWN. I rather put in the time and more to make sure he's charged.

Plus the only way I'd do what God ask, is if it comes with a guilty plea. It could be in exchange for his prison sentence.

I have the time and effort to make sure that shit pays. No matter what he, his friends, lawyer or more do. You think it was a coincidence that right as I enter my recent court my phone rang from a number I do NOT know, but when I called back no answer nor a second call/voicemail from the number. In fact, do you think it's a coincidence, they had me locked in the hospital/nursing home when I had COURT. They worked with my parents and my parent's friends to try and keep me away. They all wanted to fuck with me in hopes to twist the judge's view of me. That's the reason I missed the 1st 2 court dates and when I finally got to attend, I got the most attitude from the judge. I took it, anyway because I KNOW WHO I AM. So no one will EVER have the power to taint my image and I NEVER will let them.

I just have to stay true to myself.

So why the FUCK would I let this motherfucker slide in a world where my own fucking parents and the Adventist church (he used to attend the Old Harbour Adventist church and his mother and sister still attend it now) supports a rapist who nearly raped me.

THE FUCK!!!

Here's God's reason:

If he goes to prison it doesn't directly benefit me. If I get the money I can get to adopt the children sooner than later (assuming it happens now). Therefore taking them out of whatever situation and problem they're currently in. Plus God said to me, "if you take the money or NOT, I'm still going to kill him for harming you. In fact I'll destroy his WHOLE family".

[panics-side-blog]

You can skip the whole rant and go down to the links to support indigenous people

Reminder to myself never talk to a white person ever again about blood quantum. 9/10 times they hold up white supremacy with their uneducated ass. And even when you try to educate them they just don't get it and deflect or use strawmen arguments. And then get all defensive,mad and surprised when you get mad because they try to defend their "argument" with words that have deep rooted pain and suffering and completely ignoring the history of it. Like you expect me to stay calm when you talk about that shit where literal Nazis have used this to erase others like it isn't a big deal?

"oh but 100% indigenous people don't exist anymore"

OF COURSE THEY DON'T, they got killed and the once who survived where stripped off of their culture and got raped in order to "get the savage out"(god i hate that word but i don't know how to word it better (also nothing 100% exist)). And in this situation this shit is extremely harmful. You hold up shit that erases us and then you tell me that i'm not indigenous because I'm not "100%" and saying that i identity as indigenous means i say i am "100%"?? Bruh.

Your swiss you identify as swiss but your dumb fuck has German,polish and french but yet you can say "I'm swiss" but me whos history got massacred,ripped away and being actively destroyed can't say "I'm indigenous".

Your an adult use your two brain cells that are on live support and pick up a book.

Your way of thinking kills us and is destroying our culture. You think i would be standing here if that shit didn't happen?? I most likely would have been chilling with my fellow Mapuche, learning about their culture being accepted as two spirit and maybe being trained to become a machi because of my connection to gender.

It's so painful to think about it what could have been how live would have been different as a whole. It feels like a part of me was taken away.

And then seeing my siblings all over the world hurting, be it because they live like me completely ripped away due to the horrible things that happened desperately learning, listening and trying to finde back to our ancestors picking up the tiny bit of culture that is left and doing our best to empower the once who live in their communitys.

And the once who are connected and actively live in their community live in horrible conditions with dirty water, their land and culture stolen, destroyed and bastardized, fighting to not lose the tiny bit of rights they have fought for for DECADES.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

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🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶

To finish the whole rant i want to give you guys links on how to help (specifically) my siblings on turtle island and my people. ICWA is currently about to be taken away please sign up and use your voice to spread our voices in hopes that they keep the tiny bit of safety they still have left.

Also i linked a bunch of articles to read

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Edit; also reminder my people are also fighting to get their land back and the old ass law that was writen by a fascist STILL DIDN'T CHANGE. This shit is like 30-50 years old and actively hurts. If you want to change it please impower my peoples voices listen to them and spread the message.

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(articles about their fight)

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-55042838.amp

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.abc.net.au/article/100907988

https://www.iwgia.org/en/chile/3932-from-fighting-for-their-land-to-fighting-for-their-freedom-mapuche-political-prison-as-a-counterinsurgency-mechanism.html

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Petition :

(against the selling and exporting of our cultural clothing(not in the, i made [insert thing] to sell, but in the sacred garment got stolen and sold ))

https://www.change.org/p/poder-judicial-y-sociedad-civil-no-m%C3%A1s-expropiaci%C3%B3n-de-nuestra-cultura-y-kimun-mapuche?source_location=topic_page

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(for the visibility of my people)

https://www.change.org/p/sebastianpinera-conadi-gob-feriado-nacional-we-tripantu-chile?source_location=topic_page

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(more support for my people because the government didn't help enough when covid hit/had let them rot and fight for themselves without any support)

https://www.change.org/p/sebastianpinera-hernanlarrainf-adrianamunoz-diegopaulsen-chile-no-puede-ser-indiferente-ante-la-grave-situaci%C3%B3n-de-presos-mapuche-en-huelga-de-ham?source_location=topic_page

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Also side note my Spanish isn't that great and the translation is the bare minimum of what they wrote for the petition. If anyone who can speak Spanish better a proper translation is appreciated, thank you :))

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https://action.lakotalaw.org/action/protect-icwa

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Here are some general links to support us;

https://www.service.nsw.gov.au/guide/support-aboriginal-and-torres-strait-islander-communities

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/aboriginal-and-torres-strait-islander-people/helpful-contacts-and-websites

https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/sign-the-petition-demand-congress-support-indigenous-communities-by-passing-the-not-invisible-act?source=direct_link&

https://chng.it/ynNMKw69QL

(change dot org list for indigenous support)

https://www.change.org/t/indigenous-rights-3

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Things to read:

https://www.theindigenousfoundation.org/articles/bloodquantum

https://www.californialawreview.org/blood-quantum-and-the-white-gatekeeping-of-native-american-identity/

https://www.nativejustice.org/mmiwg2s#:~:text=The%20MMIWG2S%20abbreviation%20stands%20for,Girls%20and%20Two%2DSpirit%20People.

https://www.apa.org/pi/oema/resources/communique/2018/11/standing-sisters

https://www.gatheringthunderfoundation.org/mmiwg2s

🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶

(this one has a free to call hotline for MMIWG2S and also things to read)

https://scoinc.mb.ca/mmiwg2s-and-violence-prevention/

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #30 - The Cybertronian Judicial System is a Friggin’ Joke

Have I mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of court case stories? I think they’re pretty boring, on average, so the last couple of issues have been slightly dragging for me.

Anyway, back to Megatron’s trial. 

Our issue opens up with a full back shot of Ultra Magnus.

Artists take note, he really is built like a capital T.

As Magnus reads out Megatron’s statement retracting his “guilty” plea, we get some decent points as to why. See, telling a guy that you’ll stab him in the brain, so his trial can be over as quickly as possible, maybe isn’t such a hot idea. Megatron wasn’t a huge fan of that, or of how those memories they would’ve yanked outta him would have been used to fuel the Autobot propaganda machine. Why, you may ask?

Well, I don’t know if you knew this or not, but Megatron… doesn’t particularly care for the Autobots, nor the rhetoric they uphold.

I know, I was surprised too!

There’s also the fact that Optimus Prime is the judge on this whole thing. You know. Optimus Prime. Off and on leader of the Autobots, whenever it suits him. The guy who fucked off into space for a year after the war. The guy who threw a hissy fit when someone pointed out that he was compromised the last time they did something like this with Megatron. This guy:

Yeah, there might be a slight conflict of interests here. Remind me again why this had to be a military trial?

Anyway, enough of that, it’s time for a fight scene.

A swarm of Decepticons storm the arena, going after Megatron so they can help him escape. Magnus, though acting as Megatron’s defense, cannot abide by this disorder in the court.

Wild to think there’s a tiny little Pringles man with anxiety in there, isn’t it?

Optimus joins the fray, because there really are, just, so many guys to deal with here. A dude goes to collect Megatron, stating that they brought teleport packs for this little shindig. Megatron isn’t super jazzed about that though, not bothering to grab on before the dude gets shot to death. There’s a brief recess, I guess so the janitorial staff can deal with the mess of corpses littering the courtroom.

Meanwhile, in the present day, Rung’s building a model spaceship in Swerve’s, which is a very brave thing to be doing, seeing how sticky and gross bars can be. Brainstorm’s brought a flask to the bar, and proceeds to pour the contents into a funnel sticking out of his arm.

Our bartender for the evening- I’m assuming it’s evening, but I doubt the concept of time has any real weight in space- is Bluestreak. Bluestreak was stationed on Earth for a while, which is some Phase One stuff, and took a liking to human media while he was there. He’s the guy who handles movie night these days, seeing as Rewind’s too busy being dead to do it, and I doubt Chromedome has the emotional bandwidth to take over for his late spouse.

Bluestreak’s favorite movie is Zulu, a film glorifying the colonialism of the English over the native populace of an African kingdom. Make of that what you will.

Whirl wants to watch À Bout de Soufflé, or Breathless, as it was translated for the English-speaking world, which is a French New Wave film about a criminal who shoots a cop, hides from the police in a journalist’s home, who he seduces and likely impregnates. She eventually finds out what he did, reports him to the police, but then has a change of heart and lets him know what she’s done. He runs, but is shot, and dies in the street. The film is notable for its final scene, in which the following dialogue happens, between the dying criminal Michael, his lover Patricia, and an officer.

Of course, any poignancy would almost certainly be lost on the average comic book reader, and is also somewhat nullified by Whirl praising the film with internet lingo.

Then again, I suppose Whirl would be the type to dismantle any deeper reading of his interest in such a film, lest he be subjected to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Over with Skids and Riptide, it’s revealed that Megatron’s been teaching classes on the Lost Light, specifically on the Knights of Cybertron. Riptide’s getting an education, because he’s been feeling pretty lost since the war ended- we’ll get to the potential whys of that later on. Swerve isn’t a fan of this community college thing that’s going on, stating that Megatron’s using it as a distraction, so he can devise plots most foul.

Back in the past, Autobot high command is having a talk about what Megatron’s demanding, and man is it a doozy— turns out, since the trial’s happening on Luna 2, the trial proceedings are subject to the laws of the moon. One of these moon laws is the right to request being judged by the Knights of Cybertron. Now, this is a problem, seeing as the Knights of Cybertron have been AWOL for the last several million years, but the law is the law, and you can’t just go ignoring it when someone’s pointed it out.

Bro, your SIC just suggested y’all pull the trial so you could slap it on Cybertron, thus negating any need to pay attention to the Knight law. That’s such a gross miscarrying of justice, it’s genuinely baffling. You’ve got bigger issues going on than flouting. My god, Optimus, you were a cop—

Oh wait, that’s right. Carry on, then.

Back on the Lost Light, First Aid’s checking to make sure that the coffin Rodimus they revealed last issue is true and proper dead. Now, this may seem like a given, but you’ve got to remember that Brainstorm was mostly dead for over a year and a half, and nobody fucking noticed, so it’s probably for the best that they’re checking.

First Aid’s been pretty withdrawn since Ambulon died, so this autopsy is really good for him, since it got him out of his room. Pretty fucked up that it would take a dead body to get him out and about. Has Rung checked in on his poor son of a gun, or has he been spending the last six months getting his professional rocks off psychoanalyzing a genocidal warlord?

Our coffin Rodimus died from having parts of his brain removed, and potentially died screaming.

Yes, that is a Furmanism, thank you peanut gallery, moving on—

Ratchet hands the phone over to Ultra Magnus, saying that a call has to be made, and it can’t be by him, because the callee is mighty upset with Ratchet at the moment.

Oh, I guess he’s fine after all. This must be where the sci-fi bullshit really starts kicking in for the series.

Because seeing your own dead body is likely very traumatic and awful, Rodimus is taking a while to string together his thoughts on the matter. Megatron doesn’t particularly care, because he’s not terribly sympathetic to this sort of thing, and the two get into a spat, where it’s revealed that they’re co-captaining the Lost Light.

Because things weren’t chaotic enough on this fucking ship. Need to mix in some peacocking between the McDonalds twunk and the man who killed half of Beijing.

Back in the past, Optimus Prime visited Megatron in prison to have a little chat. It’s not about that little rescue attempt, though the fact that those Decepticons may have been released from the Lost Light’s brig is certainly interesting. No, Optimus is here to sit way too close to his mortal nemesis on the floor of his room and talk about how Megatron is a sneaky bastard.

You remember the Hellraiser puzzle box from a couple issues back? Yeah, that was a communicube, one that was passed to Optimus to suggest that the trial be held on the moon, so the arena there would be able to hold all the people wronged by Megatron. This seems pretty damn convenient in hindsight, but Megatron swears that the legal loophole wasn’t his only intent when he sent the cube.

Because it’s all about you, isn’t it, Megatron? It’s all about how you’re perceived by future generations. Fuck the guys who had to actually deal with what your personal choices caused to happen.

Megatron wants to make amends with all those who were wronged by him. This doesn’t include being acquitted of his crimes, which, y’know, good- at least he’s being slightly realistic about how this is going to turn out for him.

What he wants to do is find Cyberutopia, so the Cybertronians have a replacement planet, since Cybertron kind of sucks now.

Oh, sorry, did I say realistic? I take it back.

In the present, Rodimus is still bummed out about being dead. Still, the day doesn’t stop just because it’s a bad one, and he calls in the experts.

CHROMEDOME YOU PROMISED TO STOP THIS SHIT

Yeah, no, Chromedome’s fallen off the wagon again, and does his thing on the coffin Rodimus. As he does, Megatron suddenly gets squeamish, Brainstorm pulls out his early early-warning device to lean on the fourth wall, and it’s revealed that the coffin that coffin Rodimus was in was built in the fashion of the Spectralist faith.

All Chromedome can suss out of coffin Rodimus’ memories is the really big important stuff, which includes the speech at Rivet’s Field inviting folks to come join the Knight Quest. Aww, that’s sweet.

With the analysis of the innermost energon complete, the results are in— the coffin Rodimus is a Rodimus. A real one, from the near future. Bummer.

I suppose denial is one of the seven stages of grief, isn’t it?

As everyone argues over whether or not Rodimus is going to die, Nightbeat brings up a good point— there aren’t any numbers carved into the coffin Rodimus’ hand. Rodimus is about to reveal some Ratchet-original wisdom, when things start getting really weird; whole sections of the Lost Light are disappearing.

Over at Swerve’s, Tailgate is regaling his peers with the story of his derring-do against Chief Justice Tyrest. Everyone is very impressed, and this includes our good buddy Getaway.

Jeez, think you’ve got enough antagonist shadows on this guy? It’s almost as if the art’s trying to tell us something about him.

Getaway lays it on real thick, saying that Tailgate could totally be the next Prime, with how courageous and awesome he is, all while completely ignoring Tailgate’s personal space and having a weirdly tiny hand. This seems to seriously bother Cyclonus, who is watching this shit go down from the doorway. Our purple space jet leaves once the drinks start being poured and conversation starts happening. God knows he hates talking about his insecurities.

Then the Pipes is Friggin’ Dead alarm goes off. But Pipes has been dead for a while now, so that must mean something else awful is happening.

Back during the trial, I guess because Optimus has a soft spot for Megatron, he allows him to join the Lost Light’s Knight Quest… even as he says that he could keep the guy locked up until Rodimus and pals find the Knights. However, there are rules to this, and one of the rules is that Megatron must publicly denounce the Decepticon cause.

It is a slow and painful experience for everyone involved, as he reads the statement he was given. It’s an immediate call to action- or rather, inaction.

Geez, think they could’ve made it any more obvious that this was being ghostwritten? I can’t wait to see how long it takes for “Megatron was blackmailed into saying this by the Autobots” to be a plotpoint.

Outside the prison, Ratchet and Rodimus are taking in the brand new Rod Pod, which is genuinely ridiculous in how large it is. Rodimus admits to having taken Atomizer’s list, though he knows that trying to use it to keep those who voted him off would be a pretty shitty thing to do.

Also, no one’s told him about Megatron coming along on the trip. As captain.

Or you could, I dunno, lock him up from the start. Or, if you want to give him a chance to prove himself, slap him into a bottom-rung role, like bilge cleaner, or sewage mucker, or whatever the equivalent would be on a spaceship full of giant gay robots. We don’t have to give the guy any power to hold him to scrutiny— any minimum wage worker will tell you that scrutiny comes far harsher for those who actually carry out orders than those who give them.

But what do I know? I’ve never fought in a several million year war, and I don’t plan to.

Getting back to the list, it seems as if Ratchet and Rodimus are on the same wavelength, in that both agree it’s only going to cause trouble and hurt feelings to keep the thing around. Rodimus destroys it with his usual flare, only to be blindsided by the fact that it was fake this entire time. How does Ratchet know this?

Because his name wasn’t on it.

...Man, that’s gotta sting. No wonder Rodimus was upset enough to not take his calls.

In the present, everyone’s in a panic, as they all bolt for the shuttle bay and start pouring into shuttles. The Lost Light is disintegrating around them, which is sort of a problem. Despite this nightmare scenario happening, Rodimus and Megatron still find the time to be assholes to each other. That’s dedication right there.

As the two bicker, multiple shuttles zip away from the rapidly disappearing ship, including the Rod Pod.

Man, now it really is the Lost Light.

[crystalelemental]

I have 20 minutes before I have to feed the cat and get started on these courses that finally allowed me access, so let’s take a moment to talk about my good friend Thracia 776.

I made it through Chapter 5, and got both sidequest chapters along the way.  So that’s fun.  I decided to play on Paragon mode, because I don’t give a shit about challenge, I’m here to try and enjoy the experience for a game whose story I actually really like.

Currently, Leif is doing pretty well, mostly seems to do great with strength and speed, but his skill is bad and I don’t think he’s gained any build so that’s fun.  I think Macha’s been the most unprecedented hero so far.  She’s had two 6 point levels.  That’s really good.  Brighton’s had mostly 1 point levels so he’s not doing so hot.  Asbel seems super magic screwed, he still only has like 4 magic at level 7.  Not looking forward to that long-term.  Tanya actually got some fantastic levels too, including a lot of extra strength, so I’ll be doing my damnedest to get her back.

Chapters 1-3 remain pretty enjoyable.  Moreso now that I understand capturing as a mechanic and how to do that effectively.  A big issue before was not knowing how to set up a good capture, but now that I’m in the swing of it...I kinda like this feature?  Like it’s kinda cool.  Only kinda, though.  And the “only kinda” part kicks in as soon as you hit Chapter 4, where everything starts breaking down, but I’ll get to that.

I’m currently playing with the Lil Munster patch, which also allows me to see the hidden skills for units.  Such as Miracle+ on Eyvel, which just literally prevents her from ever dying.  I did not know that was a thing, and let me tell you, everything going on with Chapter 5′s pitfighters is suddenly a lot less bullshit.  Yes, you can argue all you want that it increases the tension when you don’t know it’s there, but also fuck that.

Chapter 4 is really where I think I’m going to start complaining.  Which is funny because on a second playthrough?  This is actually a pretty fun chapter.  You know, mostly.  Facilitating the escape of the civilians was pretty simple and fun, and it honestly helped out Karin the most, since she wasn’t particularly threatened by a guard holding a captive.  I was also pleasantly surprised at how engaging that map managed to be in terms of just...gathering Vulneraries.  Like, looking at it, I expected a disaster, but judicious use of the thieves and maybe a capture here and there actually nets you enough to equip everyone with a full vulnerary.

Until the trouble.  Let me be frank: I am always one for soft resetting when a character dies, and I’m trying to break myself of that particular habit a bit.  It’s not that I want to not care about characters, so much as recognizing that some characters I don’t give a shit about so why reset everyone else for them?  I play a quick run of Shadow Dragon before this, and just let people die, and honestly it was a lot more engaging when you’re not resetting for stupid things.  But there was one unit who causes two of the three resets, because I couldn’t afford to lose him.  Julian.  I couldn’t just lose the thief and that utility.  Resets occur not because of character love, but because you cannot give up the utility presented.

I feel like that’s part of early Thracia’s problem.  Chapters 1-3, it’s pretty easy to keep everyone alive, especially with Eyvel being actually invincible, and having three super units in Eyvel, Dagdar, and Finn.  If you got the Vouge and the Brave Axe, Osian and Halvan are actually ridiculous too.  But once you hit Chapter 4, things feel like they change to a level that’s a bit absurd?  If you didn’t successfully set up recruitment of Dalsin, I kinda feel like Chapter 4 and 4x are just impossible.  The only way to damage these armor knights are Leif’s Light Brand at range, and Dalsin’s axe.  Pretty much everyone else is dealing about 2 damage, and hoping for a crit, with none of them having the B-rank swords to make use of Armorslayer.  So the chokepoint strategy to the north feels decisively impossible because of how much damage you take, how little you deal in response, and how hard it is to actually break through and take out the mages when their numbers dwindle.  Not to mention one less unit means you have less defense against the soldier reinforcements, and it’s that much harder to protect your thieves.  Which, actually, speaking of: Thieves plural.  Which requires you actually got Lithis.  You probably did, his condition is super easy to achieve.  But.  My recollection is that the original version of this game didn’t give you little icons to tell you when people could talk to one another.  So unless you just figured out that Leif can talk to Eyvel (but not the other way around, that’s too much), you’d miss the hint about “Just catch him and hold onto him.”  At which point I feel it is fair to say people might release him after taking his stuff.  And then you only have one thief.  Which is.  Not great.  And slows down that prison escape significantly.

Then there’s 4x, where you really need 4 strong frontliners to block off attacks, and if you don’t have Dalsin I honestly feel like you’re just hosed, both in terms of taking too much damage, and having too few units to deal with the mages.  I’m not going to say it’s impossible to deal with, but for a putz like me it feels pretty impossible without the big tank man on deck.

Then there’s the issue of capturing.  Capturing only works if your build is higher than the opponent.  If you have a lower build, you can’t capture anyone.  Which is all well and good when you have four chunky axe bros and a cav on your side.  Then you can capture just about anything, especially with Tanya and Ronan giving you some nice chip damage to set up those easy captures.  But Chapter 4-5, you really don’t have many options.  Brighton is consistently able to capture, but Fergus isn’t.  8 build isn’t bad, but it’s not enough to capture one of the soldiers and take their vulneraries.  So if you didn’t get Dalsin, you have one guy who can consistently capture people.  One.  The thieves can steal, but Lara’s build is so low she basically can’t steal anything heavier than a vulnerary or door key, and she’s got 14HP so good luck leaving her in range of anything.  So like.  That’s fun.

Point being, some of these challenges feel distinctly impossible without save states as a result.  I think the biggest offender was admittedly an optional one: the two Loptyr mages in front of the chests in Chapter 5.  Man, those guys are fucked.  Tremendous damage output, poison, and had an absurdly high crit rate that would one-shot anyone if it hit.  I think Leif was able to deny the crits with Light Brand but I’m honestly not sure.  The fact you had to deal with two of them, or risk Leif having to chip them 3 damage at a time at range, was kind of a problem.  That’s the kind of thing where I don’t really know how you’re supposed to manage that, and save states feel incredibly necessary if you’re going to stand a chance.  Granted, this is optional, you can escape and just leave those chests.  But this isn’t the only situation I can think of where the game just plays stupid, and usually the stupid is with mages, because magic is resistance and no one has any.  Except Karin, who is delightfully too weak to actually KO a mage in response.  So that helps.  Situations across Chapters 4-5 have been difficult, because of the presence of magical hits that can 2-shot people if they connect, and a lot of situations feel like you’re desperately hoping for a particular attack to connect so you don’t start losing people left and right.  And then the attack misses anyway because 100% accuracy doesn’t exist, and whoops now you’re gone.

Despite that, I’m still enjoying this more than my first time through.  Maybe it’s familiarity with the game and its mechanics, but I do feel like being able to clear Chapter 4 without screaming is a good indicator that maybe it’s not as bad as I remembered.  We’ll see though, there’s much worse to come.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Thirty-Nine: The Green Mile

Hoooooly crap, y’all! This is the halfway point of this project: I’ve read thirty-nine books, and I have approximately thirty-nine more to go (depending what Steve releases before the end of the year). And honestly? If it wasn’t for COVID, and quarantine, and lots of time traveling (pre-COVID, of course); I wouldn’t have reached the halfway point. This probably would have turned into a two year project. But here we are, diving into The Green Mile!

Of all the Steve books, I dreaded re-reading The Green Mile the most. I had originally read it when it was first published, and it came out in chapters every few weeks. I’d breathlessly tear through a chapter, only to have to wait for the next one to be released. It was a pretty fun format, and I really wish I still had my original chapters. Oh well. 

But this time around, I didn’t think I was in the right head-space to read it, and the world sure as hell isn’t in the right head-space. The Green Mile was published in 1996, and takes place in 1932. It could very well have been set in our current climate. Just a few quotes for you...

“He got (his sentence) commuted mostly because he was white...”

“I think we have to be humane and generous to solve the race problem. But we have to remember that your negro will bite if he gets the chance, just like a mongrel dog will bite if he gets the chance and it crosses his mind to do so.” 

“John Coffey is a Negro, and in Trapingus County we’re awful particular about giving new trials to Negros...” 

NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED SINCE 1932!! We are still hearing these same sentiments from people claiming, “I’m not a racist, but...” Our judicial system is still biased against POC, and the rate of incarceration for POC compared to whites is staggering. 

NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED. And that’s the part that makes me the most sad. So, yeah, I wasn’t looking forward to cracking The Green Mile in our current climate. 

Few Steve books have touched me the way this one did. A fellow Constant Reader pointed out, “This is one of the only stories where he showcases the forces of good. We usually get ghosts and demons, but John Coffey may be the closest thing he has ever wrote of an angel...” Hot damn, Sam Beall, you’re not wrong. 

But in addition to forces of good, we’ve also got Percy Wetmore; who I feel is the nastiest Steve villain ever... he makes Randall Flagg and The Crimson King look like dudes who drink matcha lattes at a cat cafe, and compare notes on their polarized sunglasses. Percy Wetmore immediately activates my, “must kick hard in the junk” reflex. He. Is. The. Worst.

The Green Mile is told from the POV of Paul Edgecombe; a prison guard on “the green mile;” which is where convicted killers awaiting the death penalty are housed. “The green mile” refers to the long hallway inmates have to walk down to get to the electric chair.

 The story kicks off when John Coffey (like the drink but spelled different) is accused and found guilty of brutally raping and murdering two little blonde twin girls. He’s found on a riverbank, clutching their bodies, and crying, “I couldn’t help it, I tried to take it back, but it was too late...” 

So, Coffey makes his way onto The Mile, and shares space with Eduard Delacroix and his pet mouse Mr. Jingles; and William Wharton (Billy the Kid, or Wild Billy, depending on the day). Delacroix is French southern gentleman found guilty of murder, and then arson to hide the murder scene. He’s a bad guy... don’t get me wrong... but there’s something intensely likable about him. Maybe it’s the pet mouse he’s trained, maybe it’s his meek nature that Percy (another prison guard) takes advantage of... I don’t know. But you grow to like him, and the relationship he has with Mr. Jingles. Mr. Jingles randomly showed up one day, and the guards (except Percy) were all taken with him. After Percy attempts to smash him with a club, he takes to Delacroix and whispers in his ear that his name is Mr. Jingles. 

William Wharton is another story. He’s a wild card, who upon his arrival, promptly tries to strangle a prison guard. He also spits masticated Moon Pie at another guard. Sooo, he’s a lot of fun. 

The three of them live on the wing, and the first up for execution is Delacroix. Percy has a particular hatred of him, he claims he tried to grab his junk once. It didn’t happen... Del just got yanked along when he was in handcuffs and fell in Percy’s lap. The day before his execution, Percy thinks it might be fun to kill Mr. Jingles. Like I said... total fucking asshole. He stomps on him, and Del loses it. Mr. Jingles is the only thing he loves in the whole world... and maybe the only thing that loves him back. 

Thinking quickly, Coffey asks for Mr. Jingles little mousy body. Speaking of junk grabbing, he grabbed Paul and cured the UTI he had brewing for weeks. So, Paul is hopeful Coffey can use his miraculous healing abilities to do it again. And he does! Mr. Jingles lives!

But Percy’s not done being a scab on the balls of society. The night of Del’s execution, he tells him Mr. Jingles isn’t going to Mouseville like Paul promised he was (total lie- like telling kids a dog is going to live on a farm). And then, Percy doesn’t wet the sponge before placing it on Del’s head prior to his execution, so it’s horrible, painful and just horrible. So, Del is dead, Percy plays the, “I don’t know what happened!” card, and Mr. Jingles is gone. My heart. Of all the scenes in the book, I was dreading this one the most. 

Meanwhile, the prison warden, Hal Moores is struggling with the fact his wife Melinda has a massive brain tumor, and it’s starting to change her personality. He doesn’t know what to do. Paul thinks they should pack Coffey up, and take him out to the Moores’s house and have him heal Melinda. 

It’s a crazy idea, but it ends up working. The other prison guards drug Billy; and  put Percy in a straitjacket and throw him in the supply closet so he doesn’t notice anything is amiss. They tell him it’s payback for how Del’s death went down. So, they race out to see Hal and Melinda, and Coffey does his thing. They race back to the prison, and no one notices they’ve been gone. However, Coffey is in a bad way. This was much more healing than he’s used to doing, and he’s mentally and physically exhausted.

After they release Percy from the supply closet, Coffey grabs him and “kisses” him: which transfers the sick energy he got from Melinda into Percy. Percy then turns around, and shoots Wild Billy/Billy the Kid dead; and then becomes catatonic. 

He’s then carted off to the psych ward, which is too good for him. Fiery pits of hell would have been better. 

But wait!

Plot twist! Billy the Kid had briefly touched Coffey, and Coffey learned HE was the one who had killed the two little girls.  Paul puts this together as well, and tries to fight for Coffey’s release. He realizes Coffey’s words,  “I couldn’t help it, I tried to take it back, but it was too late...” were about his inability to heal the girls, not his guilt.

 When I had read the revelation the first time, I flew through the end, hoping and praying justice would be served, and Coffey wouldn’t be executed. Bad things didn’t happen to good people like John Coffey, right? Oh, how naive. There were A LOT of tears. 

But Coffey is at peace with his upcoming execution. He tells Paul, “I’m rightly tired of the pain I hear and feel, boss. I’m tired of bein on the road, lonely as a robin in the rain. Not ever havin no buddy to go on with or tell me where we’s comin from or goin to or why. I’m tired of people bein ugly to each other. It feels like pieces of glass in my head. I’m tired of all the times I’ve wanted to help and couldn’t. I’m tired of bein in the dark. Mostly it’s the pain. There’s too much...”

That right there makes me cry every damn time I read it. 

So, Coffey is executed, and life continues on; as it always seems to do. Paul is actually writing this story in his old age, at the  Georgia Pines nursing home. There’s an orderly there who’s just as evil as Percy, and he keeps trying to follow Paul on his daily walks outside. Where’s Paul going??? 

TO SEE MR. JINGLES!!! 

Yes! He’s still alive! It seems when Coffey healed people, it added onto their life expectancy. Mr. Jingles was still alive, and Paul was one hundred and four years old. But he knew his time was coming. He reflects on the loss of his beautiful wife, the people he knew on the Green Mile, the guards he worked with, and that mile seems LONG. 

Such a sad, beautiful end to an incredible work. This is another one I recommend to people who tell me they don’t like Stephen King. Try it... you’ll like it... when your heart is done breaking that is...

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 27

Total Dark Tower References: 38

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Needful Things: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Next is Desperation, which I know nothing about, other than it’s a real chonk of a book. 

Do me a favor, please? Stop being ugly to each other. Stop hurting gentle people like John Coffey. Please and thank you.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Okay WhatCulture, let's do this.

Good

6: Felicity Smoak

No. Next.

5: Showcased Lesser Villains

I will give you that. They're often the wrong villains, and they're mostly badly used and misinterpreted, but it does showcase them.

4: Oliver's Killing Streak

I agree in principle - Oliver should kill as he's starting out, it's the most logical decision. But, I'm sorry, Oliver's killing people is explored well? Do you remember that time he freely admitted he liked killing people before unnecessarily murdering three guys and then the next episode had Felicity saying that he wasn't a monster because he only did what he had to do? Do you remember the Huntress episodes, WhatCulture? Because I remember them.

3: The Lazarus Pit

I would like to point out that the title of the video is about Arrow's effects on Green Arrow mythology, which the Lazarus Pits have never been counted as (have they even shown up in a Green Arrow story?) but aside from that, how exactly have the comics not touched on the negative effects of the Pits? Their entire thing is that they're slowly turning Ra's insane, they're so bad that Batman, the man obsessed with stopping death, won't use them and openly destroys any he comes across, almost everyone who's resurrected by them is insanely fucked up (Nyssa al Ghul, Nora Fries, Cassandra Cain if I'm remembering that arc correctly, the list goes on) but suddenly Arrow is the one that suggested they're a Bad Thing?

2: Slade Wilson's Descent to Madness

I suppose that if you care about Slade Wilson his fall in Arrow is really affecting and touching. I do not, so all I remember about it is that it fridged Shado, who is genuinely one of Oliver's most fascinating villains in the comics, for the sake of Slade's arc, whereas Slade's arc in the comics involves his wife full on shooting him in the face. Forgive me if I can't help but feel this is a bit of a downgrade.

1: Introduced New Readers to Green Arrow

This isn't a valid point, by the way. Almost every comic adaptation has convinced someone to read the comics, just as every book adaptation has convinced someone to read the books. I know someone who only started reading the Percy Jackson books after they'd seen the films, does that mean the Percy Jackson movies are good now?

Also, speaking as someone who started reading Green Arrow after Season 3 of Arrow, is it really a point in the show's favour that people read the comics because they want to see the characters they liked in a story that doesn't suck? And, given the fact that 'comic fans' has become shorthand in the more insular Arrow fan circles for 'people who don't like the show', can this be said to actively encourage people who do like the comics to stay away from the show?

Bad

4: Butchered Black Canary

See, I agree with this on principle, but the shitting on Earth-1 Laurel is exactly the opposite of the point that you're trying to make. Also, no-one cared when she died? Mate, I wasn't even watching Arrow when Laurel died, and I can tell you that A LOT of people cared. Hell, people cared SO MUCH that well established DC comic writers were actively calling out the show for killing her off, and Gail Fucking Simone was praising Katie Cassidy's portrayal of Laurel. Ratings dropped dramatically and they had to beg and scrape to get her back. A lot of people cared.

3: Death is Irrelevant

I agree with this, both the criticism and the tangent about Oliver's death and rebirth (which I haven't gotten to, btw, but I'll get there someday).

2: Too Reliant on Lian Yu

Honestly my main problem with Lian Yu is that time ARGUS set up a extra-judicial prison there for metahumans. Does anyone else remember that? Man, that was fucked up.

Also the flashbacks should have stopped after Season 2, or at the very least stopped being serialised.

1: Arrow is just Batman-lite

And this, I feel, is the greatest flaw in Arrow, looking back on it. Because let me tell you a secret: when he's written well, Oliver Queen is nothing like Batman. He's rarely written well, I should say, but when he is Oliver Queen is a deeply flawed man who recognises and attempts to overcome his flaws. When he's written well he's someone who holds his fellow heroes to task, whether he's being hypocritical or not, because he's an asshole with a bow and arrow and people like Superman are supposed to be better than him. When he's written well Oliver is someone who makes mistakes, and surrounds himself with people who are unafraid to call him out on his shit, and he's someone who works to fix his mistakes. When he's written well Oliver is flawed, and messy, and probably problematic, but he's also intensely human, in a way most DC superheroes aren't.

Arrow's Oliver is not a good Oliver. He's just a badly written Bruce Wayne with a bow and arrow.

[stusbunker]

Known: Two Halves, Three Hearts

A Supernatural Dark Fan-fiction

Featuring: MOC!Dean x Female OC, x Demon!Reader, Claire Novak, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Crowley

Summary: CC learns to navigate more of the Winchesters’ associates. Meanwhile, Dean crosses the line to end Cain’s reign of terror. He finds her vulnerable, will she let him sate himself in every way imaginable? Can he run from what he is becoming? Is she enough to keep the evil at bay? Crowley finds our Reader and offers a path to redemption, if she can trust what he’s selling.

Warnings: Post murder haze, torture, period sex, blood, blood play, stabbing, dub!con smut, subtle mention of past sexual assault, disassociation, humiliation, and loss of sense of self.

Series Masterlist

*^*^*^*

December 11, 2014

The Bunker

           It was nearly dawn when Chloe felt the air tighten against the Impala’s entry into the garage. Something was wrong; Sam was driving. Dean sat in the passenger seat and in the back, Castiel beside a blonde who had cried out a week’s worth of mascara and eyeliner. Dean was bleeding, but that wasn’t what was wrong. He stared ahead, lost and empty, covered in others’ blood. It was human, every last drop, CC could tell just by the smell. An ability she would have appreciated if it didn’t lead to the implications on Dean’s clothing.

           Other than the upset teenager, no one else seemed to have been touched by the fray. Sam rapped on the hood, giving CC his best ‘I can’t explain this away’ eyes. He was worried mute. CC finally moved toward the car, both Sam and she eventually earning swats as Dean came to, silently protesting their help.

           “How many?” CC whispered against his retreating form.

           “Look, they were loan sharks and they were going to use Claire-,” Sam started.

           “How many people did he kill?”

           “Four.” Castiel cut in, glimpsing back to the girl in the backseat.

           CC’s stomach pitched, a phantom whiff of manure and dust drifted past her nose and into her thoughts. She didn’t allow herself to focus on the reality of Dean’s crimes, instead she moved the conversation along. “What are you going to do with the kid?”

           “She won’t stay here. I was going to take her to a motel in town. Chloe, I’m sorry, CC, would you be willing to accompany me?”

           Sam huffed. “Is that really a good idea, Cas?”

           “I just thought that, maybe an older female might be able to get through to her.” Cas looked wrecked, his vessel wearing his worry like a neon sign. He felt more human to CC than he ever had.

           “I’m not babysitting.” CC stared between Sam and Cas and back again. Her annoyance and concern reciprocated in one form or another. She should be checking on Dean, not playing Big Brother Big Sister to Castiel’s ward. Dean didn’t want to see her; he had made that painfully clear. CC fiddled with her knife as the girl’s ghostly eyes challenged them from the backseat. “I’m not ready to leave the wards, not yet. But, if you guys need a minute, I can get some food in her? Keep her out of your hair for a—”

           “Thank you,” Sam mouthed to CC as he and Cas nearly ran out of the garage and the blast radius all she could do was reply with a single finger. CC walked around the hood of the Impala, hands tucked in her back pockets as she watched the girl glare and roll her eyes.

           “What do you want?”

           “I want to go back to bed, but since that’s not happening. Coffee?” CC gave Claire five seconds before walking away, nodding over her shoulder in the direction of the kitchen. Claire followed CC dejectedly, hunger trumped petulance apparently, if barely.

           “So, who are you anyway?”

           “You can call me CC.” She almost smiled over her shoulder, dropping down into the sunken kitchen.

           “Which one of them is your–?”

“My what?” CC pushed the automatic drip setting from delayed brew to ON and started rifling through the pantry for English muffins once Claire made up her mind to join her.

           “Dean, huh? Figures. Well, your man’s a murderer, if you didn’t know.”

           CC didn’t really look up at the girl while she started preparing their hasty meal, but it was evident that her bitterness was far from fading. CC slammed the toaster lever in place and leered down at Claire, who was sitting on the kitchen table with her feet on the seat of a chair. “Alright, Miss Teen Bitch. First off, you are in their home, so I’d watch who you call what. Secondly, yeah, I did know. Pretty much every hunter has the bad kind of blood on their hands, that includes me.”

           The creak of the muffins’ release broke the silence. There was more eye rolling and tongue tisking, but eventually Claire began to listen for the answer to her more pointed questions.

           “What are you even doing with him?”

           CC shrugged, “I could ask the same about you and the angel.”

           “Gross.” Claire recoiled. “Besides, they came after me! I just swiped his wallet for some spare cash. They should have just let me go! If they had—- Fuck! You know what? Screw you lady. You’re on their side. You’re not gonna listen to me.”

           “Hey, cool it, alright?” Claire threw her fists down at her sides and folded them over her stomach. CC could see she needed to keep prodding because Claire was so close to the next hurdle. “Let’s get things straight. This isn’t a black white, us vs. you scenario. They thought you were in danger and did what they thought was best for you; to keep you safe. Sucks not being able to make the call on your own life, don’t it?” CC waited for Claire to acknowledge the helplessness they shared.

“Yeah, well, I might be Dean’s whatever. But I know all too well about Winchester intentions. For the record, me and Castiel? Not friends.”

           “He’s wearing my dad’s face. Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?”

           CC dropped onto the bench below Claire, handing her a plate. “Just a little weirder than living in an underground bunker with the guys that sent your closest friend to Hell?”

           Claire nibbled on the toasted olive branch, tearing it to pieces before finally relaxing. She was scared and desperate, it came off in every gesture of her defensive attitude. CC started to wonder just what was going to happen with the kid now that she had been brought in.

           “I hate them, all of them. I hate them for what they did.”

           CC’s mouth twisted in sad empathy at the girl, knowing that the grief she wasn’t processing was much more palatable as rage. It was like looking into a fun house mirror of her past: overdone make up and culturally rebellious hair style. All just more things to help in the lie to herself about how empty she felt.

“What?! I do.”

“I know.” CC rolled back up to her feet, nodding toward the fridge. “Let’s see what else there is to eat. There’s one thing that’ll piss Dean off more than messing with his car and that’s eating the last of his pie.”

“Okay?” Claire huffed out an unamused agreement, a reluctant warmth shone from her eyes.

*^*^*^*

February 2015

Dean had gone cold turkey. He stopped drinking, stopping lurking outside CC’s room at night, and started eating egg white omelets, apparently. Fat lot of good it did. The Oz Case with Charlie gave him whiplash, seeing his friend spilt into parts as if she was just the sum of her emotions rubbed him the wrong way. Breaking her arm was something he was never going to be able to forgive himself for; his knuckles still scabbed over from decimating her porcelain face. Her dogged determination and forgiveness still got him in the throat. Ever present, CC had stood, unflinching as the boys and Charlie had their goodbyes.

Now as Sam casually mentioned Tina from the Hansel and Gretel run in, something akin to jealousy flashed in her steely eyes. Something he had no desire to press her on nor any hope that it could lead to getting her back. She had helped out with Claire, had researched the hell out of the Bunker’s stacks alongside them through it all, and she had all but admitted the demon was the one moaning his name, the one that used her body to make his every nerve sing. If that wasn’t enough to drive him to drink again, nothing was.

*^*^*^*

February 16, 2015

A festering cavern, Hell

           Blinding daylight burst from an unseen door to your left. Once your eyes adjusted a figure appeared, breaking through the shafts of light, like a key in a lock. His footfalls were leisurely, the clipping beat of his obscenely expensive shoes barely gaining ground. Crowley walked into your isolated prison like a birder on a Sunday stroll.

           “Oh good, you’re conscious.” His big eyes teetered on compassion as his words fell in a nice noncommittal little heap. You wanted to reply; the empty air loomed as your mouth tried to form words. You couldn’t remember how long it had been since you had used your voice. Your tongue thick and coarse in your throat as it strove to remember language. Crowley squinted, but waited as you grew frustrated with yourself. You sighed, nodding in exasperation before he could mock you for it. You weren’t certain he was real, but the thought of a visitor, even one seeking twisted entertainment, was better than another decade alone. Eventually you decided that you couldn’t have made him up; you had better imagination than that.

           “I wasn’t aware we still used places like these. These rubbish heaps were from the initial days of Hell. The time when the fallen Angels fought for control and some unseen judicial system weighed the disloyal and usurpers’ crimes. You got off lightly, by the old standards. It takes a lot of energy to maintain this kind of torment; it simply isn’t worth the output for a single demon here or there. Then again, we all must answer for our crimes; no matter how seemingly noble the reasoning. Rebels against an outdated hierarchy—”

           He continued to drone on, though your exhausted mind could hardly keep up and when it did; you found yourself unaffected by his rallying attempts. You were too downtrodden to feel any comradery with the man who held the keys to your cage. To all the cages. Hate was a delicious main course that followed the apathetic appetizer. You began to wade out to the swells of emotion. Things that hadn’t reached you in years carving through you until you were ready to swim in the rage as he spoke, eyes beetle black and bulging as he spat his points.

           Finally, you fissured as the sound erupted from your mouth, a frustrated wail that shut the King up well and good.

“What do you want?!” you demanded between staccato breaths. You glared down at him, his human form was nearly a head shorter than you, but the inches of debris locking your ankles in place nearly evened the field of vision. You hoped the words you used made sense; because he was taking his time answering.

           “I need someone to do a little digging on a certain individual. Someone who owes me and who won’t go gossiping to the demon next door.” Crowley tongue worked his cheek. “In short, I am offering you a one-way ticket back, what do you say?”

           “Who?” The confusion began to clear as the delirious hum of hope rang in your ears.

           “Can’t tell you here. Now–” Crowley looked over his shoulder and raised his fist in the air. “Let’s get you somewhere a little more accommodating, shall we?”

           Before you could even nod, he snapped his fingers, freeing you from the slop and stench.

*^*^*^

Tale End of Executioner’s Song

Dean has killed Cain

Dean comes up from the dark with rasping breaths. His tendons are locked into place and his wrist is screaming from strain, a frequency he has yet to process. He doesn’t remember telling his feet to move, but his legs have carried him this far: away from the evidence and back down to those waiting on him. All pretense shrivels as he hears Sammy’s voice close by, persistent but muddled. Then Crowley’s, asking for his arm, no, the blade. Right, it isn’t a part of him after all. He should really let go, he isn’t sure what part of him is making these decisions, but grateful it doesn’t seem to be as hard as it feels.

Dean turns the weapon handle out and passes it to Cas. His eyes have focused enough to see the disbelief on the demon’s face at the gesture. Dean isn’t here to suffer fools; however helpful they had become. He reveals his deceits, unblinking as Crowley disappears. Sam catches him then, before his legs finally catch up to the path that got them there and Dean wonders what God sees in man.

The fog of battle clung to his mind, the Mark dulled, but never silenced. His blood flowed hot and vibrant, pumping through his veins in and out of his heart, that very human organ thumping in his gnawing chest. Dean moved as if he was tailing himself, looking down on his movements from some unimaginable higher ground until he slid into the Impala and drove away. Everything was reflex, instinct, autopilot. The moment the driver’s side door creaked open, he smelled it. Blood, faint and intoxicating. That hot beat inside of him pounded deeper.

He threw his duffel to the foot of his bed and shrugged out of his jacket. The Mark peered beneath the rolled cuff of his flannel, a garish pink against the dark fabric. Somehow, Dean found himself in the kitchen and despite the caffeine and the cheerleading from Sam, he felt hollowed out. Dean’s vision tunneled as he dodged out of further conversation to march down the hall. Finally, he could seek what had been calling to him.

CC froze over the washing machine as he loomed in the doorway. Her eyes closed as she felt him scent her, she didn’t turn an inch in his direction. Her bare legs, plump and smooth, beneath her tiny pajama shorts were just enough exposed skin to do some real damage. She fell back, heavy on to her heels. “How was it?”

“Final,” Dean said after stopping to consider an appropriate description for an assassination.

Chloe finally saw him, torn between shadow and shame. “I was scared you’d—"

“Yeah, well. I did.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest, shoulders hulking as he considered her concern.

“Is there something you wanted to ask me?” CC swallowed more air, the fear and electricity making her lightheaded. She moved to rest her hand on her knife handle, but it slid over the missing weapon. Her oversized sweatshirt sleeve covering her hand as it dangled in unfulfilled habit.

“How you doin’ Cease?”

“What?”

“How are you?” Dean said each word with a step forward, head bowing as he watched her straighten to face him.

“Uh, pretty crabby, but okay, I guess.”

Dean hummed, eyes squinting as she nervously looked to the door and back to space between their feet. “Anything I can help you out with?”

She blushed, a warmth twisting around her eyes and an awkward smile pulled at her cheeks as she centered her ponytail, giving her itching hands something to hold on to. “Dean?”

“Chloe?” Dean’s eyes darkened, the dangerous smirk pulling far enough back to let the overhead lights glint on his impossible teeth. He was gaunt and sallow; yet power continued to radiate from all over him.

“How are you looking at me like that,” she whispered in disbelief, pulling her top lower over her wide hips. “I am disgusting right now.”

“Yeah, well, compared to my butchered mug; you’re as tantalizing as ever, Cease. Besides, I could use a distraction or two, however dirty they might be.” Dean’s voice dropped another octave, an invisible fist clenched inside her. She groaned, letting her head fall in indecision. Dean closed the distance between them, big hands taking her shoulders firmly as he leaned down, earning a grin as she found his eyes suddenly playful beneath lush lashes.

“Seriously, I’m gross.”

“Not to me you’re not,” Dean purred, wide thumb stroking her strong cheek bone. “Let me make you less crabby.” CC’s head rolled to the side; her nose nuzzled into his comforting stubble.

At long last, she caved, her spiced skin slipping beneath his cracked lips as they danced over her collar bone. Dean’s entire body hummed with a need nearly as wide as the void inside him. They collided, grabbing and shoving until Dean started to wonder who was truly strongest. Then CC nipped below his ear and he tossed her on top of the washing machine she had set to HOT. She pinched her knees together, twisting side saddle on the hissing appliance, lips parting as Dean’s tongue took its time riling her up from the inside out.

Dean’s hands widened, tips and palms digging into her fleshy thighs, begging access until he demanded it. She groaned into his mouth before pulling back, her uncertainty crumbled beneath his singular focus. She tasted the iron from his split lip, a bit of coffee and something unimaginable. Even bad decisions need to be made to prove their consequence. Chloe grabbed Dean’s forearms and pushed him back, his gaze slow to move up from his target.

“Shower room?” she asked hopping back down on her bare feet.

Dean barely shook his head, nose buried in her hair. Her arms threaded around his waist as his thumb cocked up her face, his fingers threading into the loose strands at the nape of her neck.

“My room? It’s farthest from Sam’s?” Dean answered with clashing teeth and a fistful of Chloe’s ass.

There was a threatening rhythm to their efforts, hefty pauses ending only after the other started to teeter; to break. They had gotten to CC’s room, clothes shoved and forgotten along the way to the bed. Dean grasped the nape of her neck, his arm locked as he stared through her, eyes unfocused and mouth open against a horror she couldn’t see. She tried to pull him closer, to sit back and take him with her, but he was frozen. She slid her palm under his elbow and pushed up, her other arm braced across his chest to keep him back, in case his reaction was less than friendly.

His jaw worked over all the words that wouldn’t form, eyes dropping closed as he came back from the brink, grip softening as his forehead fell to her shoulder. CC couldn’t stop from shaking as the moment passed, Dean’s mouth finding her pulse point more than conversational again. All that hovered over them: fear, power, destiny and damnation, fueled them until they were desperate and starving, knowing that the other was just as empty. Just as wanton. Dean’s hands pulled her thighs apart and his teeth ran the edge of the faded cotton. The iron sang through his nose as it mixed with her arousal; a signature cocktail he couldn’t refuse.

CC swallowed as his fingers dragged down the last barrier between his mouth and her coated folds. No sound could reach her as she battled the disgust and desire, Dean’s tongue threaded through her lips, nipping and sucking them swollen. He moved in to circle her clit; the heat of her shame began to burn away as yearning eclipsed all custom and ceremony. CC’s head fell back, and when she closed her eyes knots of wood looked back.

Suddenly she was suspended from her every nerve, tucked away from feeling Dean shove three fingers inside her mess. In a bubble of warmth and muffled sound, CC drifted. It was calm and quiet there, a place without resistance or time. She began to wonder if this is what Death felt like, if the veil could manifest itself to tease her. To coax her immortality from her by sheer tranquility. There was something pulling at the back of her thoughts, something she was forgetting, something that demanded her opposition even, but CC couldn’t be bothered to think on that. Not quite yet.

Dean doesn’t realize he’s lost her, he just keeps finger fucking her until the thinning blood is snaking down his arm. His lips pull at her, thirst crazed and blind. The beat inside his head overtakes her pulse, heavy and languid, building. Her breath catches and he feels the gentle trickle, a silent compliment for his efforts. Her body pulls while he pushes, deeper, solid, unmoving as the shuttering of her walls loosen outward in waves.

Dean pulls his hand back and admires it in the light, rust rimmed nails and ruddied knuckles as the skin cools beneath the liquid as it dries and cracks. It’s not enough. His eyes search the desk and dresser, knowing it must be here, somewhere. He isn’t thinking, he is only moving. The battered leather sheath lays across her boots, handle smooth and solid as he grips it in his right hand. It’s smaller than he thought, but the spellworked blade dazzles as Dean pulls it from its case.

She hasn’t moved safe for her chest rising and eyes scrunched against the ceiling. Dean should know that isn’t a good sign, but either he doesn’t register it, or he doesn’t care. He moves to her side, where he can feel her curves against him, her lungs expand as he lets his weight fall against her. Her head lulls to the side and a soft whimper passes her lips as he slides home, blood thick and gritty along every inch of him. Dean almost cums at the sight of the gore he pulls out of CC’s channel. He pushes back in, shoving her knees obscenely against the comforter, letting every ripple of her thighs and ass urge him on.

CC feels the first slice between her breasts. Like a tuft of hair caught in a necklace she is pulled from her weightlessness and placed back in reality. The sweat stings her skin as it opens, her granddad’s knife dangles above her as Dean catches her eye. He thrusts into her with clenched teeth, eyes dark and muscles constricting as he shifts lower. Her legs lock around his waist as he stands, still buried inside her. She tries to sit, but his free hand pushes her back down, rough palm burning against the mangled flesh.

He grunts and gasps, and CC finally sees it, the terror in his eyes. He’s frozen once more. The knife is shaking in his hand, a not so invisible force extending over his forearm. CC needs to do something; Dean’s panicking as his body moves without him. She rolls her hips and threads her fingers around his wrist. Dean’s eyes go wide as she sinks the metal beneath her ribs. She shushes him, nodding and rocking into his body. Dean looks away and moves again, entering her doubly as the Mark takes her offering to free him. She tries to keep breathing, to stay conscious and keep watch on Dean.

Her hand slips up from his wrist and over the cursed brand in his white skin. She focuses on it, stomping on the tendrils of control with her mind; it remains immobile and unnerving. She feels the darkness pulling at her, trying to put her under, to stow her away. Dean’s face falls to her neck, he pulls the knife from her side, leaving jarring pain shooting through her as the wound registers. Dean cries out, clutching her head to his, arms tight and knife falling.

CC thrashes against him, breaking through with a fist through his near headlock; they roll back, clinging to each other like a life raft. His scruff prickles her throat and CC coughs, breaking the stalemate. They pull apart, limbs and groins untangling in guilt riddled silence. Dean clears his throat and sits up, hand hovering over her wounds. He’s mesmerized and apologetic, biting back any sorry when CC inhales against the pain. She waves him off and pops up onto her elbows. Her eyes take in the damage and she frowns in consideration before closing her eyes.

“Cease?” Dean whines a worry as her skin starts to glow.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna be fine, just, uh, just gimme a sec.” CC wills the walls of her organs to fuse, her muscles knit together, and the skin zips closed and clean before Dean’s eyes. She pants from effort and falls back to the bed, a gentle smile twisting on her face before she opens her eyes. Dean’s are like saucers, his slack jawed expression made worse by the patches of blood and slick crusted in his scruff. All CC can think is how his mix of scary and stoned is causing her heart to catch in her throat.

“Hey?” CC whispers, slipping her hand over his, despite the nausea that was creeping back up. “You good?”

Dean lets her question sit unanswered, floating in the space between his guilty hands and her enabling eyes. The world seemed to tilt before he falls into the damp darkness of unconsciousness.

^*^*^*^

Dean woke to the sound of his own screams, his fist jutting up into some unseen enemy. He swung against her as CC tried to pull him back, her hand cool on his left bicep. He smelled soap and felt damp pillows; he couldn’t remember showering. Finally, the room righted itself and he could piece together what little furniture she had accumulated since they’d been brought back to the Bunker. Since the demon inside her had helped Sam cure him. He spotted her empty boots and the images of her knife in his grip flashed in his mind’s eye; his stomach twisted against the memories he forced himself to swallow.

           CC let him work through it, she was sore and exhausted and couldn’t find the words that would bring him back from the brick wall he kept running himself into. His recoil from her every touch set up her haunches as it was, maybe she should have dragged him to his own bed after all. Having him here felt like they were hiding, but the only person she felt any guilt for was no longer in this phase of existence.

He whispered a desperate ‘fuck’ into the early morning quiet. Finding his undershirt; he ducked into the neck before turning to face CC. Whatever he was hoping to find in her face, it wasn’t there. Her tired eyes were set deep atop her full cheeks, her uncertainty and caution bordering on annoyance.

“What?” Her voice warbled.

“Forget it.” Dean closed his eyes as her hand snaked over the sheets to cage his in. “I’m sorry I woke you up, I’ma head back to my room, let you get some rest.”

“Dean? You don’t have to—” She didn’t even try to sell it.

“I know, but, I just keep going through the thing with Cain and, you need to recuperate now, so.” Dean shrugged, left a peck on her forehead and threw on the rest of his clothes before either said another word. Once he was free to the safety of the empty hallway Dean shivered, his bare feet and wet head oddly comforting in the confines of his body and bones.

CC watched him leave, quick and painlessly. There was so much lacking between them that it didn’t even register as a rejection; they were simply saying what they thought the other wanted to hear. They were quite the lop-sided pair: the cursed hunter and Heaven’s bastard’s mistake. Both broken, in very different directions.

*^*^*^*

Next Chapter: The Mark

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 10: The 100 1x06 Fog of War

Mmmm watching another ep and it’s been less than six months since the last one?! * jinxes self *

Bellarke date at the outside cafe. (WHY IS THIS OUTSIDE CAFE NOT IN MORE FICS? WHY IS IT NOT IN MY FICS?)

I don’t always love Clarke’s art tbh but I do love her Mount Weather sketch.

“You won’t be by yourself.” They are canonically Soft with each other.

I have a hard time believing they would wait two days just sitting on their hands, Abby or no Abby. YOU GUYS WERE THE LEADERS. JUST LEAD STUFF.

“We’re at war. We’ve all done things,” is, like, first, beyond the point, because even in war, one doesn’t usually attack civilian villages. (Unless one is a terrorist.) And second, it’s weird that Bellamy would be defending Finn? Not really sure how to read that. Unless his hatred of Grounders is truly that intense, which is possible. And third, are they really still at war? Because after attacking the dropship, the Grounders have done... literally nothing? Like it’s a semi-war scenario.

“Next round’s on me.” Do they have to.... pay for things...? With what lol?

“Salvaged Monty’s still. Now if we could only salvage Monty.” Someone here has a sense of humor. Also lol @ everyone at Camp Jaha using a teenager’s illegal still.

Really, the “pardon for surviving” should not include time on the ground, because pardons aren’t forward looking. Also they bring back the idea of trying Finn later. They just don’t want to deal with Murphy and Finn, and don’t really see the massacre of Grounders as a big deal, which, I am a Sky Person partisan to the last, does not reflect well on them. I think also they still haven’t figured out what tf their judicial system on the ground is, and just don’t want to deal with that yet either. Which isn’t a great excuse but it’s of a piece with how this show deals with society-building questions in general. (By... not.)

And Finn still doesn’t even feel bad.

And Murphy thinks Clarke and Finn are still together...? I guess that makes sense given how long he was away. He’s ALWAYS behind on delinquent gossip.

Clarke to Murphy: “Just because they pardoned you doesn’t mean I have.” Another line that should be iconic.

If Mount Weather is the reason they never heard from any other Ark Stations then they should have heard from more of them after S2 just putting that out there.

Raven is so beautiful.

And I’m sorry but she’s completely in love with Clarke here.

“You and your friends are not soldiers...” Hmmmm except in a certain sense they kind of are. Love this s2 adults versus delinquents conflict though.

Anyway I realize this is just to get them going back to Mount Weather but they were apparently doing this radio mission to get more Guards from other stations, which never happened, which sort of reminds me of Day Trip and the ‘winter supplies’ excursion when apparently winter doesn’t exist in the future anyway.

Literally only now at the credits.... Why am I like this?

So Maya couldn’t survive on the ground, obviously, because blood isn’t good enough, it has to be bone marrow, which, fine, for plot purposes--but what if she could???

“I know the plan was to assimilate them into the gene pool.” COMPLETELY forgot about that. So they did have a reason for being so nice to them. That is a rather long term plan though...

With the delinquent blood, they’ll “live longer and feel better.” I wonder what the sickness rate is, then. What the quality of life is, low vitamin d aside.

“If I agree to harvest those kids, then I won’t deserve to see [the outside] again.”

That Finn is a good tracker is, like, not a retcon in the sense that this was true in season 1, but still a semi retcon in the sense that nothing in the very early episodes implies he’s Mr. Earth Skills. (Unlike, say... Wells.)

Privileged Ark people really do just throw rules around and up and down however they like. Like, Abby clearing her daughter’s friend because “he was trying to save his friends” even though what he did was objectively much worse than pretty much anything the 100 were imprisoned for? Or other people killed for? Hmmm,, yeah, okay.

Jaha’s death wish transformed into a lazy acceptance that he is invincible is truly one of the best character arcs on this show imo. Infuriating but amazing.

“How many times on the Ark did we go two days without water?”

He recognizes the prison as a train station, which is not objectively surprising but I bet the Grounders don’t know what it is. Somehow. Since memory isn’t a thing in the future either.

On the one hand, it’s reasonable to think that Finn’s attack was coordinated from above but on the other hand, these two prisoners literally could not have ordered it, because they have been... imprisoned... the entire time. And I mean truly putting two Sky People who could not themselves have been involved in another Sky Person’s murder spree into some sort of Saw scenario in response to that murder spree really isn’t “justice” in any sense of the word. Like truly the JD in me is just SCREAMING. There is no nexus between the people you have and the person you’re angry at, other than “Sky Person” but the thread is so tangled you’re just.... throwing around bloodshed for lolz. (I know it’s a test and that part isn’t dumb but the scaffolding of the test is DUMB.)

I am still not over that someone gave Jasper a stuffed toy bear as a thank you for giving Maya blood. Also, it looks like... an alarm clock?

I like Dante but every time he says “Jasper” it just creeps me out. Maybe it’s the way he’s, uh, playing him.

It is 100% true that Mount Weather was not meant to last that long. At least not in the sense of ‘as a closed facility.’

Ridiculous as it is to pardon Finn AND take him adventuring AND give him a gun, I like the tension between him and the others, that they have officially forgiven him, and want to still love him, but are wary of him, scared of him, for good reason. For all that people are constantly ‘doing bad things’ and yelling at each other about it, this scenario doesn’t really have a parallel anywhere else in the canon.

“According to Clarke, before the bombs, there were buildings everywhere here. I’m guessing some of the had access to the bunker. So we’re looking for ruins. Anything man-made.”

Bellamy says he and O aren’t under the Guard command. But in a way, aren’t they? Like aren’t the Guard basically in authority over all Arkers? I know I’m overthinking but does he see himself as more delinquent than Arker? Especially with the “our people” are in Mount Weather.

All those mice.... Or rodents....

What a scenario: Clarke and Finn hiding from the acid fog in a weird little personal bunker where they once fucked, and now there’s a dead body in it, and Finn put it there. Not even Olav can top this.

Raven playing with the radio is my kink.

Parking garage as tomb. Who would protect a parking garage with a big-ass steal door that protects cars from radiation? If it does lead to Mount Weather (no recollection if it does) I guess it could be... part of it? Idk. Nice aesthetic though.

Bellamy is very comfortable calling people Sir. Polite young man.

So Clarke’s Dad’s watch returns to Clarke. I can’t remember what ultimately happened to it. Is it basically tainted now?

Monty’s obscene jealousy of Maya just gets me every single time. Makes up for the horrendous second hand embarrassment I’m getting from the rest of this scene.

“Hey, it’s pizza day! Who’s hungry?” uhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm So natural. Cute dress though.

How did she figure out the breach wasn’t an accident? Or that there is surveillance? Anyway now that she knows she was experimented on, and that Jasper was experimented on, one would assume she is pissed. One would assume that’s part of why she shows them the Grounders. Also to stop Jasper perhaps from embroiling his people even more with (her own) untrustworthy people. Because truly it is in part to save them, but it’s also a real risk to herself, admitting this terrible thing she’s been a part of.

“To get you to agree to be her blood brother.” He’s not wrong but that language is sooooo jealous--both revealing the threat he feels (because Jasper is his ‘brother’) and diminishing the JasperMaya relationship (which he knows to be romantic, and is turning familiar.)

Why did the show ever try to top the pure horror of the Grounder Torture Prison?

“What are we supposed to do?” / “Die.” Another Iconic Exchange. This is Monty’s morality: uncompromising. Are the standards he sets for himself hypocritical or consistent? Also, some foreshadowing lol.

I wonder what Monty’s allegiance is to the other kids... Would he have irradiated the Mountain for them if Jasper were safe? Legit question because he defects to his mom’s side pretty fast in S3, and he would 100% leave Mount Weather through the side door just like Clarke, at this point, which Jasper refuses to do even if it were possible. I am intrigued by this scene and the switching of plans/different points of view.

So this is the revelation that the acid fog is a Mount Weather weapon. I always really liked that twist.

Okay so this explains why they didn’t get to the other stations, because they choose to keep the tower up to listen to Mount Weather, but it’s actually not a tough call bc if you defeat Mount Weather and take your people back, then you can get rid of the blocking signal, and then find your other people, so win-win, you just have to go in order and on that note, why did it take 3 months to find only one station??

Is that a....hand crank mp3?? Got a lot of juice from just a little bit of cranking.

There are a hella lot of storylines in this episode. I completely forgot about Jaha and Kane and Lexa.

Kane’s continuing death wish makes him utterly unreasonable. What in a million years makes you think that the Grounders value sacrifice as opposed to just being sadists? I mean, you don’t know. You’re imposing your value system and also your thought processes on them. You’re also assuming that if one of you killed the other, the survivor would actually get something, like a chance to negotiate, which is probably not true--in fact, Gustus basically told you as much with “We’ll hear the terms of your surrender form the survivor.” Winning means nothing except you get to surrender!! And probably die!! They are not coming to you in good faith is what I’m trying to say and having watched the whole season I know I am Right.

“You didn’t order the massacre.” / “Not that one.” Honestly dude get over it lol. Interesting that Jaha, although he has transformed in some ways, keeps to the old lines, about survival, the human race--and our people, if the human race is broader than just the Ark, which it is, and no big deal. So in some ways his morality has not changed at all, at its core.

Look, I’m sorry, not to be that person, but he probably would have been better off killing Lexa there. I mean, I know he’s choosing ‘an innocent’ in his mind but... what a power move to behead the Commander WHILE you’re her prisoner. Good old Jaha, smart and quick and sure of himself.

Just uh not quick enough at murdering I guess.

I’m no Lexa fan but that was an excellent entrance and it remains an excellent entrance. Also while I never thought she was as smart as people said, because name me another tactical decision she made that was actually good, this was a smart ploy. And probably the most subtle thing any Grounder character ever did, even if it does end with her basically beating Jaha up ‘as a message’ as if she were a gangster.

Is this the episode that introduces Blood Must Have Blood? Already Tired of it tbh.

This Clarke and Finn scene is so sad. I realize that they  purposefully made him unredeemable at this point, that this story line was always intended to be the method by which he was written off, and that there’s only so much awkwardness you can write around this scenario, but nevertheless it would have been interesting to see Finn in the long term, in a way. Not redeemed.. I don’t know. Whatever I’m thinking it’s not in the range of this show, though, for sure.

Did Jasper and Monty tell all of the 47 everything? To get them to volunteer? (Answer: No, but they told at least Harper and Miller, maybe a few more.)

“How high are you right now?” We were SO robbed of more intoxicated!Monty scenes.

Jasper and Dante: creepy creepy creepy.

“There’s been a Wallace in this office since the bombs.” So glad to know we immediately reverted to some sort of pseud-monarchy post-nuclear war. That said it’s only been 97 years so that’s like 3 Wallaces tops.

Prioritizing the radio also means of course admitting that getting the 47 out of MW is a priority for Abby/Ark PTB, which wasn’t exactly clear before.

I’ve never been a fan of the “Build a brace for yours” line and I’m still not, because I think conflating physical and mental injuries is not exactly helpful, but I guess I appreciate it as a look into Raven’s mind--Raven, who has never really understood mental scars and never really does--and the soft way she says it is a sort of forgiveness. Not really forgiveness she has the right to offer, and in a way a very brash thing to do, because this was literally a war crime that her best friend committed, but nevertheless.

Jaha: appears. Everyone else: what the absolute fuck.

So on that mission they accomplished... literally nothing they set out to do lol.

What is that random shot of Camp Jaha doing there? They’re not within sight of it. They’re still where they set up tents.

I want to point out that this is the FIRST time the Grounders have demanded that the Sky People “leave” or implied in any way that they consider the Sky People to be on “their” land, and that this was never an issue in Season 1, when their beef seemed to be for things like crossing the river at Mount Weather, accidentally dropping their flares on a Grounder village, and torturing a Grounder spy. But I guess at this point the narrative needed to focus on something because the actual reason for the feud, which is roughly, we accidentally pissed each other off and then kept on retaliating, doesn’t play very well or make the Grounders, who were rehabilitated this season, very sympathetic. (Guess who still has zero sympathy lololol?)

[tessatechaitea]

Wonder Twins #5

Jayna just punched straight through her brother's butthole.

If you're a being who turns into water, your dick and butthole don't just disappear, right? They just become part of the water! So I'm almost certainly correct in my comment on the cover. Hopefully Mark Russell will explore this topic in a future issue. Until then, I'll be certain to tell everybody I know that Jayna basically fisted Zan. Luckily for the Wonder Twins, I don't know many people and also they are fictional characters. This issue is called "Magic and Games." I think. It will probably take me less time to read this entire comic book than it took me to puzzle out the word "Games" in the font used for the title.

Sure, you can see it now that I already told you what it was! But it was difficult before I worked it out! Although I still wouldn't be surprised to learn the title is "Magic and Galljes" or "Magic and "Gaines" and that the second word is somebody's name.

Usually I don't comment on Mark Russell comic books because to comment on a Mark Russell comic book, you should probably be smart and serious. Sure, he's having fun and writing an entertaining book that I can easily use to make jokes about fisting incest! But he also writes sensitive stories about social justice and systemic bias and ethical dilemmas in changing times and, well, other stuff that I'm too dumb to even discuss in the most general terms! He's a smart guy which is why I hate him with a burning passion! But it's a good hate! It's the kind of envious hate that pushes me to my own Emerald Twilight! I probably won't wind up destroying an entire town and ruining my reputation and becoming the most vilified hero in our universe but I almost certainly will eventually become the avenging spirit of God judging everybody around me! Wait, I think I already am that! Whatever my point is, it's that Mark Russell writes good and I'm too weak to not despise him for it. Polly Math has just won first prize at the science fair because her last name is Math. I guess Sandra Science didn't compete this year so Polly was the obvious next choice. Jayna wins second place because her project on fucking hot guys while being a nerd in high school fell apart when the guy she attempted to science fair fuck turned out to be a villain. It's also possible I'm confusing story lines but you have to expect that kind of thing! I'm not spring chicken! Remembering details between chapters that come out a full month apart has been nearly impossible for the last twenty years! I shouldn't make fun of Polly Math's name because I have a name that people always try to make jokes about too. It's not Grunion Guy! You can probably find it if you do even the smallest amount of Internet research! I'm not going to help you though because I don't want to get called a Deaf Chef anymore! Polly is upset that her father is working with Lex Luthor and the League of Annoyance. But Jayna has a plan to fix things! I bet her plan is to turn into a giant tortoise while Zan turns into an ice dildo and...wait a second! Why am I giving out good ideas that Mark Russell will just steal in a few issues?! Better to not speculate on things! Also, I mean, the cover shows Jayna going with the shark plan.

Okay fine! I'm finally interested in Fox News!

The most disturbing thing about people who watch Fox News is that they ignore five hundred other channels that are showing entertaining things on their television at the same time! Who chooses that shit over Comedy Central or the Game Show Network?! I haven't had cable for nearly twenty years and whenever I'm staying somewhere with cable, it's locked on the Game Show Network 24/7! Who the fuck chooses to watch state propaganda over old game shows?! Fucking psychopaths, that's who!

Polly Math's father wound up working with Lex Industries because only Lex Luthor hired African Americans, I guess? Hadn't he heard of STAR Labs?! Maybe Silas Stone and Sarah Charles fulfilled their quota?

I might be misreading this scene but I don't think I am because the white guys with white guys playing golf pictures behind them seem interested in Filo Math if he's Norwegian (so, you know, totally white!) and then when they meet him, they don't want to hire him. It could be that they really are concerned with his specialty! What could that be?! I mean, it can't be any worse than Silas Stone's specialty of turning his son into a cybernetic example of the castration of the black male in America! That's a really terrible specialty! Although Sarah Charles seemed to be pretty into it. See?! This is why I can't review a Mark Russell book! He's making a great point about the systemic bias inherent in corporate hiring practices and I'm not taking it seriously! I mean, he isn't either, really? He's being light-hearted while still making a good point. Which is what I've done, I think, in my comment about Cyborg's lack of a penis! The Scrambler wants to play a trick on society. He's a magician that believes people are frightened of magic and only like the part where everything is normal again. Magician: "Is this your card?" Audience Member: "Why yes! Thank God you picked my card! I was worried I was going to have to live in a world where my card wasn't picked!" Maybe I'm not comprehending his point. Anyway, The Scrambler wants to do a trick where things don't ever go back to normal! He's a monster! Imagine picking the Three of Clubs and nobody ever showing you the Three of Clubs ever again! Ugh, I'm feeling faint. To save Polly's Dad from definite prison time (or possibly, if Superman shows up, an eternity in the Phantom Zone. As if Superman can be bothered with Earth's judicial system! Pshaw!), Jan has challenged the League of Annoyance to a duel at the zoo. I guess if she wants to stress out all of the animals there with a big battle, who am I to judge? I mean other than being the real life version of Hal Jordan's Spectre, of course! At the zoo, Jayna recruits a bunch of Australian animals to help fight which goes as spectacularly as you can imagine it would. And what I mean by that is that a koala is blown to bits. But I guess that's worth it in the grand scheme of getting Polly Math's father to stop working with the League of Annoyance. It's like that philosophical conundrum about an ant that sacrifices its life for even the tiniest amount to better the world. It's just an ant! It practically owes it to the universe to die for nearly nothing! What does this koala bear expect? It should get to live in luxurious confinement at the zoo and not die for a trivial reason? Stupid koala bear. Go fuck yourself, you selfish bastard. The Wonder Twins defeat two out of three of the League of Annoyance members at the expense of just one koala's life and the bruised jaw of an innocent kangaroo. The third member, some woman with a Kryptonian cell phone whose name maybe I should remember, gets away to go regroup. Sylvia is a racist that joined the League because she didn't like the demographics of her small town changing. She's startled by Filo entering the League's headquarters to pack up his stuff and winds up zapping him like she zapped the koala. Okay, I guess the koala isn't as dead as I first thought. I should have realize a Kryptonian phone is probably sending everything to the Phantom Zone. So once again, I, the Grandmaster Comic Book Reader, was correct when I speculated that the worst that could happen to Filo was prison or the Phantom Zone! I'm the smarterest! Sylvia is caught on camera zapping Filo Math and then messes up in an interview when she kind of admits to having maybe zapped more than one black person with her phone off-camera? It's a real public relations nightmare!

But Lex can fix it! His greatest strength is turning public relations nightmares into public relations wet dreams!

Lex News turns Cell Phone Sylvia into a national hero. Because anything is excusable if you just say how scared you were! I mean, as long as you're white! It's scary being white! Sometimes you have to kill people with your legal gun while standing your own ground after confronting somebody for the most inconsequential reasons! It's just the way the world works! At least in America! Happy 4th of July! Just in case some readers weren't smart enough to get that everybody blasted by Sylvia's phone went to the Phantom Zone, Mark Russell supplies us with an image of Filo and the koala and a bunch of Sylvia's other victims (hmm, all black! But that's probably just a coincidence!) in the Phantom Zone. Polly, at the end of her rope with doing the right thing in an unjust world, decides to contact The Scrambler. I can't wait for her big magic trick to fix the world! The Scrambler's big trick to fix the world is to threaten to scramble everybody's identity. Everybody's minds will switch around so that they're now in different bodies. That means the powerful might wind up being the poorest people in the worst poverty. And the only way he won't do it is if the powerful fix the world in thirty days. Seems like a good plan! Except I'm curious to see how they fix it. Most people's ideas of fixing the world rely on the current world still existing somehow. So the fix is handicapped from the beginning by needing to be built on the ruins of the old system. To truly make a new system that works, the old system must be completely razed to the ground. But nobody has the stomach for that. So we make exceptions and compromises, building the new structure on top of a rotting foundation. It's why DC's Universe fixes always fail. They rely on making things new and better but need to remain rooted in the past. Crisis on Infinite Earths was built on a world that still contained members of Infinity Inc. who suddenly didn't fit in the world anymore. So DC then had to do Zero Hour which told new origin stories but still refused to throw out everything that came before to simply start again. Even The New 52, which people hated because they felt it did exactly what I suggested (razing the shit to the ground), didn't work because, I believe, it didn't go far enough! It still accepted Superman had died. It still accepted all of Green Lantern's past. It still contained a Batgirl who was shot by Joker and became Oracle. It was still the DC Universe but with arbitrary and subtle changes that made no real difference except the jettisoning of a ton of history. So it didn't work for anybody! Um, anyway, my initial point was that real life political structures and social dynamics and economic systems can never really be restructured in a meaningful way because they have to kowtow to older ways of thinking and doing things. The comic book stuff was just easier to write about! I'm sure Mark Russell will figure it out! Or he'll just have The Scrambler and Polly Math arrested and nothing will work out like it should and it will just be the punctuation on the idea that everything fucking sucks. Yay! Wonder Twins #5 Rating: A+. Come on! Everything Mark Russell writes gets an A+! It shows how smart I am!

[some-triangles]

MUSIC OF 2018

Ophelias – Almost

All-woman band with disreputable male producer creates songs about codependency, power exchange and the prison of needing others.  This is my favorite album of the year because it has the projecting power from a position of weakness thing down to a science, plus the production is crisp as anything and the melodies stay in your head.   It’s all very simple and very careful and very thoughtful and very skillful and very angry, and the singer does not display a trace of emotion at any point.  Perfect for all moods.

Tropical Fuck Storm – A Laughing Death In Meatspace  

This is more of a specific mood.  A thing I value in music is the sound of a vocalist who is experiencing Peak Distress, but as an artist, intentionally; not goopy or dramatic but using an emotion, albeit a very unpleasant one, to draw a color on a canvas.  The greasy australian who made this band after he got sick of his more famous one does that with the words “at any time” on the opening track, “You Let My Tyres Down”, which is my favorite song of the year. The rest of the album isn’t as good but it’s a high bar.  The album also features people doing exciting things with guitar tones and actively unpleasant distortion while remaining in a rock idiom, which people don’t do anymore and is one of my favorite things.

Noname – Room 25

The best indie rap album of the year, objectively.  Noname used to be called Noname Gypsy but some roma people had a talk with her and now she’s Noname.  No muss, no fuss.  Imagine if everyone was that graceful, huh?  That transformation must have kicked something else into high gear, because this record is miles better than her last one.  Confident, chopsy, warm, wise; soulful, adventurous, real.   Too virtuous for me to embrace fully but undeniable even at a distance.

Kendall 😊 – hey

Unforgivably slept-on new artist making swoony electropop with big stacked chords and big stacked distortions, up against “I can barely play piano but I know what’s beautiful” interludes, drenched in reverb and dripping with honesty. One could pray for this kind of candor.   The chorus of “knife” reminds me of Hindemith, unjustifiably – it’s that maximal approach to building clusters of tones.  On the one hand, it’s another transwoman artist who seems to construe feminity as suffering.  On the other hand, this is the world we live in, and there are worse takes.

Rosalia – El Mal Querer

I’m not going to pretend that I have enough context or the right background to describe this properly but it’s a monumental accomplishment and that comes through even if you got clod ears.  Maximal, sensual, ancient, enormous, combining trad and modern sounds, blah blah. An album about love, religion and suffering coming at you from the weird sex/blood/magic underside of catholicism that white people generally don’t get access to.  Also has that same knack for pinning down and utilizing anguish that the Tropical Fuck Storm guy has.  Like.. not the same, as that. Obviously.  But similar.

Tierra Whack – Whack World

A small clockwork collection of readymades about the quotidian.  I get David Byrne vibes off Tierra – she’s a polymath, an alien, and a designer at heart. But also an extrovert, significantly.  This album is made to be popped into your mouth, digested and forgotten, leaving little traces of doubt in your bloodstream.  It’s an instagram filter for your insides.  

The Cradle – Bag of Holding

The local acoustic dirtbag has come to read your tarot, but he’s also communicating wirelessly with your smart fridge.   This album has a bit of a Jesse Moynihan vibe, and is also nostalgic for those of us who liked our Devendras and our Animals Collective and also enjoy production where someone’s elbow hit the dial and they just kind of kept it in.   There’s a good song on here where a very groovy and centered man is trying to get a lady to break up with her boyfriend because he is too cyberpunk.  Why not?

Lolina – The Smoke

This is an album about Urban Narstiness that is meant to be played in headphones while walking at night, to lend yourself a dangerous sountrack vibe.  It’s too jagged and self-consciously experimental to be heavy, which is good, because there are enough sad boys yelping over cold metal about how the moon is turning them to knife crime.  This is mostly about how being a woman is fun when you feel no emotions, which sort of brings us back to the unifying theme of my year in music. Feeling felt a lot, in bursts; feeling felt not, at length.  

Amaryllis – Away We Go

I wrote a big long poem about how much I liked this album when I first heard it. Once you’ve done that it’s difficult to pretend you were never into the problematic artist in the first place, so on the list it goes.

Hushy’s still young – not as young as she’d like to be, admittedly, but young – and has a lot of work to do.  Wallowing in baby land may not be fulfilling forever, and she might turn her attention elsewhere.  She might become a huge, genuine monster.  She might figure herself out.

In the meantime, please heed the very objective and not feelings-based ADULTS ONLY sign that now adorns all of her work.

In a way I think the Hushy debacle had a part in my journey to wizard town.  I mean, I am grown, so I’m more judicious about dragging you through my personal swamp than she is.  But the particular cocktail of personal tragedy, hypomania, magical thinking and guilt that I see in there - that’s The Stuff.

[stluxxx336]

First off y’all ain’t even say this shit correctly to begin with. My main point I Got too many homies in jail and prison right now for doing ZILCH/tryin to put food on their tables to sit around and listen 2 ppl saying free only the Nice Sweet Guys who jus t got a weed charge :) not the Really Bad Boys hehe not them 😉 2 scary hehe 2 scary 2 confront the US judicial system and it’s fuckeries against all people hehe 😉 PEOPLE GET DRUGS PLANTED ON THEM EVERY DAY. FLORIDA DOES THIS EVERY HOUR PROLLY. You know how much crack gets planted on black people? How much evidence gets stole by the cops? U know how much drugs I’ve had stole and never charged for by the law? And they probably used themselves or planted it on someone else? You know how many people I know that are locked up for HEARSAY “assaults” and “thefts”? Courts scare you into taking pleas on cases you know ur innocent on too just to get money for probation?? And then they can lock u up whenever on that suspended sentence??? It’s literally so easy for them to fuck innocent people take that into account b4 u post some ignorant ass meme tryna sound trendy. Like I get it but The issue is a lot bigger than that and idk why only non violent petty marijuana offenders should b released when y’all can literally see videos of these inmates starving and being treated like animals even more during this pandemic .

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #28- I Sure Hope Y’all Like Megatron

“Dark Cybertron” is finally over! Woohoo!

Who’s ready for a return to hijinks and mild peril?

I know this guy is!

Hold on a second-

We start our foray into Season 2 of MTMTE with a little meta-humor-

-and then it’s right into the swing of things, as Brainstorm uses the thin, fragile wine glass of faction-based morality to hold his personal need to make instruments of violence. Nautica disapproves, but then why wouldn’t she? She’s not been steeped in the militant ideologies of the Autobots for millions of years.

It’s six months after the convoluted events of “Dark Cybertron”, and our beloved ship, the Lost Light, is back on track for the Knight Quest. Nautica’s joined the crew, which is neat, but there are far more interesting things going on.

Like Rung actually doing his fucking job for once.

Wow, look at that little creamsicle man go.

It would seem that in the last half-year (by Earth standards) Megatron’s somehow gotten himself into the esteemed position of Captain of the Lost Light. This likely means that Rodimus has been defeated in battle, or perhaps fucked off on yet another space yacht to run away from his responsibilities. I suppose the narrative will have to fill us in on just what exactly happened.

Or, at least, I hope it does. Wouldn’t be a terribly good story if I had to guess on how exactly this dude’s in charge of a whole-ass Autobot crew.

Yes, yes, I know he switched sides, but goddammit, it takes a little more than saying sorry and changing your wardrobe to excuse the murder of half of NYC.

I mean, we can do both. Both is an option. I’ll break out The Communist Manifesto right now, let’s fuckin’ gooooooooo-

Six months prior to Megatron’s therapy appointment, Rodimus is ready to high-tail it off of Cybertron yet again. This is because, as established in previous posts, Cybertron kinda sucks butt. He bursts into the meeting Optimus Prime called- even though he’s really not leader of anything anymore, Starscream is- bids everyone farewell, and is about to run back out of the room when he’s stopped.

Turns out that the populace of Cybertron want Megatron to stand trial. That makes sense, given what all he’s done. Of course, the Autobot pals we’ve got in the room want to skip due process and go straight to the part where Megatron pays through the nose for the last four million years.

Which doesn’t feel terribly heroic or good guy-ish, but I think by this point you’ve probably caught on to the fact that everyone in IDW Transformers is morally gray at BEST.

Because Megatron’s had a rough time the last few years, in relation to his bodily integrity, spark extraction- that thing that High Command lied about in relation to Overlord- isn’t an option. It would just kill him dead.

Uh, excuse me? Optimus Prime, sir? Monsieur Premier?

Guess Optimus hasn’t been keeping up with exRiD.

Anyway, yeah, since Tyrest fucked off in “The Sound of Breaking Glass” and also tried to commit a genocide, we’re gonna need someone to cast judgement.

Course, a military trial isn’t exactly ideal, but as long as it’s open to the public, it should be fine.

Probably.

Anyway, Prowl’s also going to help. Ultra Magnus has been assigned the task of representing Megatron in court, a job which he’s positively delighted to have, if his face is any indication.

The gang breaks for lunch, and Rodimus and Optimus touch base on how the Knight Quest is going.

Because Rodimus’ half of the Matrix had the map for finding the Knights of Cybertron in it, they’re gonna have to go with Plan B.

Oh fuck yes, I love Plan B!

Unfortunately, finding the ideal romantic partner for all Cybertronians is going to have to wait until after the trial, because Optimus really wants Rodimus here for this. Though perhaps there’s a way to make things move a little faster…

Back in the present, Megatron’s had just about enough of Rung being a psychiatry joke, and is about to walk out of his appointment. Ravage is here, which is neat. Rung asks Megatron about the three most important people in his life, and how he met them. One of these people is, funnily enough, Rung.

Rung, if you’ll recall, was thrown into Megatron and Impactor’s table at Maccadams waaaaaay back in The Transformers #22, the first issue of the IDW run that Roberts wrote solo. It would seem that getting arrested and subjected to police brutality ruined his once-idealistic worldview. This is just a lightning-round recap of the events of the “Chaos Theory” storyline.

Being reminded of how hard he got dunked on makes Rung break out his copy of Megatron’s autobiography, Towards Peace. Of course, Megatron has to be “that guy”, and makes it out to be far more than it actually is. My dude, you used your writing to tell all your proto-Decepticon buddies to go beat up Whirl in prison. Let’s not make things sound more grandiose than they are.

Anyway, it turns out that Rung is actually just as much a nerd as he looks, as he reveals that he’s in possession of one of the only few copies of the original version of Towards Peace. And then he takes off his glasses and the fans go bonkers, even though he’s just got that Milne Same-Face going on, just like everyone else.

There you are, you animals.

Rung discusses Revisionism, I’m reminded that the first publication of Eugenesis had a dedication to Roberts’ son of all people, and we get the question of who Terminus is to Megatron.

But alas! The X-ray vision’s been turned on, and it’s time to see… nude robots? An in-depth anatomy lesson?

Robots are confusing sometimes. Anyways, major props to Milne for drawing all that detail. Dude does the technical stuff with a ferocity that must be awe-inspiring to behold.

Megatron’s decided that it’s time for lunch, and then he’s going to do captain stuff.

Because he’s captain of the Lost Light.

I’m convinced Rodimus is dead. That’s the only way this is happening.

Six months ago, Swerve was being awful Swerve-like, with his new buddy Crosscut- guess he finally learned the guy’s name- and Riptide, who we’ll get to a little later on. These three wonderful lads are holding a sort of “crew try-outs”, and it looks like the requirements needed for entry on Megatron’s Lost Light are stiff.

Still, maybe our new friend Nautica will make the cut.

Oh, you are simply delightful!

Despite Nautica having interest in nearly every topic in the universe, on top of having impeccable taste in booze, she just misses the cut. It’s at this point that Nightbeat bursts into the room to stop this farce from going any further. The fact that nobody mentioned anything prior to this is surprising, given that portmanteaus don’t really seem the type of thing Ultra Magnus would approve of.

Back six months ago, we see what Optimus Prime’s super great idea was to expedite the judicial process- Chromedome. It’s always Chromedome. He’s gonna do that thing he promised his late husband he’d stop doing. I suppose it’s a good thing- for Rewind, anyway- that Megatron is wholly against the idea of having his memories torn out of his head. Guess we’re gonna have to do the trial the normal, non brain-pokey way.

Optimus leaves the cell, because I suppose he’s remembered that there’s a conflict of interests here, but Rodimus stays behind to let Megatron know he deserves everything that’s coming his way.

Then Megatron breaks out the puzzle-box from Hellraiser.

In the present, Chromedome isn’t so much spiraling in his depression as he is circling the drain. Nightbeat doesn’t give a shit about that though- he’s more concerned with the fact that one of the numbers on the door to Chromedome’s room is missing. But I’m sure it’s fine.

It’s fiiiiiiiiiiine.

While Nightbeat’s busy being insensitive to his fellow man’s distress, Megatron’s arrived to his room to find his door’s been vandalized by a bunch of idiots who must have just discovered what a thesaurus is. Then he gets shot in the fucking hand with an arrow.

As you do.

Whirl’s gotten ahold of a bow, and he fully intends to use it for Megatron-directed violence. And also his fists. His very pointy fists. He punches Megatron through the fucking floor into the fuel furnace, and they fall what’s probably a good 200 feet to the ground below. Whirl yells about evening the score between the two of them, and then knees Megatron in the dick.

Turns out, Megatron remembers Whirl even better than originally thought, having gone so far as to order his forces to not kill Whirl, because, in a way, he was grateful for the lesson he learned back before the war in Rodion.

Oh man, I hope Rung’s somehow listening in on this. Like, eavesdropping is obviously bad medicine, but we’ve already established that he sucks as a professional, and he needs what few advantages he can get.

Whirl, enraged by the implication that he’s been fighting fixed battles for the last four million years, punches Megatron in the gut… and his arm gets swallowed up by an errant portal leftover from all of Shockwave’s tampering. Since you can’t really fight with only one arm, Megatron wanders off to do captainy things.

Walking back the timeline slightly, we revisit Megatron leaving Rung’s office, and the idea of personal revisionism, the conversation becoming parallel with the strange happenings going on within the ship, as Rewind’s final message is altered so as not to end with “I love you” but instead a blood-curdling scream. Chromedome is, understandably, upset by this turn of events.

Over with Whirl, it’s revealed that the little fight we saw was intentionally set up. For what purpose, or by whom, is left a mystery.

Please see a doctor.

One last flashback to the trial, as Prowl lists off everything that’s standing in the way of our Sympathetic Megatron Redemption Arc.

Good fuckin’ luck, James.

Back in the present, Megatron’s slapped a bandaid on the hole in his torso, as he checks to see what’s happening on the bridge. It would appear there’s a coffin floating around in space.

Pretty fucked up.

[locutius]

Locutius Letter #17

Alexa for kids

Alexa for kids ships later this month, and while I’m not sure I’ll buy one for my kid (I prefer my kid’s VUI use to be out where I can see it - er, hear it), I might get one for myself. Also, the current state of hand-off between my 1st Gen Echo and my Echo Show is so bad that the last thing I want to do is introduce another device where I have to whisper conspiratorially to it in order to make sure that the right one does the thing I want it to do.

Of course, new technology begets new thinkpieces on whether or not technology is good for kids. My first reaction to the Echo for kids was horror, but I appreciate that Amazon has had content filtering on the Kindle Fire for ages (it’s nearly impossible to use, but it exists), and I am a kid who watched as much TV as I possibly could (hours of Saturday morning cartoons, hours of after-school cartoons, and plenty of totally child-inappropriate Arnold Schwarzenegger movies) . . . I turned out okay?

Fine, I’m not letting my 5-year-old watch Commando anytime soon, but I’m also not too concerned about VUIs. They’re so limited in their capabilities that right now the only negative is that I set a horrible example: I yell at a device and in turn my kid yells at the device and there’s frankly a whole lot more yelling than I want happening in my home. Do I want a device that praises my kid for saying please? Or do I just need to start setting a better example on my own?

Alexa aka Echo Dot for kids: Ships from Amazon on May 9th (and feature a whole lot of subscriptions that probably auto-renew so now’s a good time to determine if you want to go down that path)

More Amazon/Alexa:

Tidying up’s a snap: Alexa is like a virtual Mary Poppins Amazon’s voice-activated assistant — by way of the Echo and Echo Dot — helps this family stay on task. (shaking my head at all of the Mary Poppins references lately)

Alexa is a revelation for the blind Ian Bogost writes “Legally blind since age 18, my father missed out on the first digital revolution…” A lot of the difficulties Ian’s dad runs into are common to anyone using a voice interface for the first time - they aren’t specific to people who are blind, or older adults, or even those who don’t do much computing. The real story here is that Ian had to reconsider his father’s relationship with the world, and the promise of independence offered by voice assistants.

When will Alexa know everything? An interview with Al Lindsay, vice president of Alexa Engine Software at Amazon. Literally every time I read this man’s name I read it as A.I. Lindsay - like Artificial Intelligence - that’s what happens when you live in Silicon Valley too long and not enough websites use serifs.

Google did some stuff, too

Google releases conversation design guidelines for Actions for the Google Assistant Conversation Design with Google

Highlights

It’s #5 on the site list, but should be #1 in your brain: Is Conversation the Right Fit? (also, there’s a quiz and I cannot resist a quiz)

Now with more dialogue samples: A Crash Course on Conversation Design

And error handling: Errors (no fancy title on this one)

Google Assistant can now control your Ikea Tradfri smart lights You know, in case you wanted to add yet another smart home app to your phone. / Android Community

I have one Microsoft news item

Here’s an interview with Javier Soltano, the new product lead for Cortana. The interview starts out with talking about Microsoft’s competitive advantage: email. But don’t think about it as email - think of it as a way of understanding the relationships between people and understanding the relationships between projects and concepts and...well, it’s interesting when you start thinking about what email really is. / VentureBeat

Is Cognitive Computing real?

Introducing CASE: the cognitive coffee-maker Is cognitive computing a coffee maker that recognizes you, makes small talk, and knows your favorite drink? / IBM Internet of Things blog

The fraudulent claims made by IBM about Watson and AI I don’t really have a whole lot to add to that...inflammatory title, so go ahead and read it for yourself and learn about the history of AI and what it is and isn’t / Roger Schank (artificial intelligence theorist - his wiki page)

More on AI (this one is a really good read, I promise)

And here’s a brief history of AI that’s just...accessible. Read it to get some background on just what AI really is and how far we have to go: [FoR&AI] The Origins of “Artificial Intelligence”

Conversational Design, the book

Erika Hall has a new book out: Conversational Design. It’s not about VUI’s, but it still has a lot of interesting lessons on language and information exchange. You can read the first chapter for free on A List Apart and here she is back in 2016 talking about the importance of language in design.

Locutius Links

Rethinking the Smart Home in 2018 Smart speakers are great, but they aren’t enough / Stacey on IoT

Quiz: Are these idioms British or American English? I failed. / Quartz

Google launches an improved speech-to-text service for developers / Techcrunch

Library Journal: Voice Activated The Library Journal offers some background and advice on smart speakers for library services. (Less “ask questions in a quiet space” and more “borrow audiobooks”) / The Library Journal

'Alexa, play my kid a podcast.' Parents look for screen-time alternatives If you have a 5yo, try the podcast But Why! We love it. Every time a 5yo on the show says their age, my kid says "She's 5, just like me!" - it's a revelation for him to hear kids on the radio.  / CNN

Alexa, are you SkyNet? This talk is “an in-depth forensic dive into the data that is stored, transmitted, and can be recovered, from the Alexa portion of the Amazon ecosystem” / SANS Digital Forensics and Incident Response on YouTube

Tencent’s Smart Speaker Tingting Brings WeChat to the Entire Family IT HAS A BATTERY SO YOU CAN UNPLUG IT AND USE IT WITH WIFI FOR 5 HOURS. / Synced

A pioneer in predictive policing is starting a troubling new project We have a policing problem in the United States. We have a prisons problem in the United States. We need to actively consider just what we’re doing when we apply machine learning to policing and the judicial system. / The Verge

A note on newsletters

I took out half of the content I’d originally included it this email. Now I know why people send out daily newsletters.

Don’t worry, I’m not making a daily newsletter, but if you’re in California, I recommend subscribing to the California Sun (it's free) as a way of understanding what’s happening in our giant state (I’m from Oregon, which has ⅔ of the land area of California, but just 10% of the people): California Sun

This week I’m reading three books:

Fascism: A Warning by Madeleine Albright It is sooo good and sooo infuriating. I started it on a plane and found myself silently saying ‘Fuck’ every 30 seconds as I read it. Now you’re warned.

Head On: A Novel of the Near Future by John Scalzi It’s like a good Michael Crichton book, meaning it’s less about technology and more about people. This is the second book in this world, so consider picking up the first one (Lock In). Also, I just learned that Scalzi wrote the main character in a way that they could be a man or a woman and my brain assumed they were a man because...patriarchy. I’m kind of sad about that.

Machines of Loving Grace: The Quest for Common Ground Between Humans and Robots by John Markoff I was skeptical about this book because on the first page of the preface Markoff describes the Stanford golf course Coupa as “adjacent” to the course, when it’s far more accurate to say that it is “at” the course. Other than that, I’m getting a good background on robotics. Yes, it's full of dudes and Markoff tries to make up for that in the preface by name-dropping Cynthia Breazeal, but it feels like an afterthought. Still, it's a good book, just...so many guys.

If you’re wondering how I read so much, I will tell you my secret: my hobby is reading.

Until next week!

👋👋👋

Abi Jones Editor, Locutius

Is there something I missed? Reply to this email with a link! Want to chat? I’m on Twitter at @jonesabi

Yes, this newsletter contains affiliate links.

Finally, the opinions in this newsletter are mine, not my employer’s.

[askthedespairkids]

A Game of Questions

*Nakashima approaches Maverick Storm.*

Maverick: Atsushi. What do you need?

Nakashima: I heard you were around, so I figured I might as well visit.

Maverick: Well, I appreciate the courtesy. If I remember right, you were about the only underclassmen I could stand.

Nakashima: That so?

Maverick: Pretty much. Considering Ando and Izayoi were always making out, Kimura was just… weird… Hyde and Mori were… well, still are insufferable, and don’t get me started on Oroya and Suzuki, optimists get on my nerves. Both of the 77th classes were full of annoying little fucks as well

Nakashima: I see. Perhaps I should be honored to be given such prestige.

Maverick: If you are, then you are, if you’re not, you’re not. Really doesn’t matter a whole lot.

Nakashima: I suppose not.

Maverick: What did you think of your classmates? If you hated them all from the start, you certainly did a better job of hiding it than I did.

Nakashima: I was a bit skeptical at first. The only one I knew going in was Malcom. But I can’t say they’re the worst people you could meet.

Maverick: Heh, that honor probably goes to mine.  So glad I’ve already taken out more than half of them… I think I’ve only got four of them to go? Something like that.

Nakashima: Sounds like you’re pretty dedicated to this manhunt of yours.

Maverick: There’s only one that hasn’t actually made it to the Future Foundation, but she’s proving such a pain to hunt down…

Nakashima: Though it’ll be much more satisfying when you kill her.

Maverick: True enough.

Nakashima: I dunno if I’ll end up doing the same with my class. I feel they could probably destroy themselves without my help.

Maverick: You know, I should’ve done that. Planted little pieces of evidence here and there, then sat back and watched as everyone tore each other to pieces… perhaps I’ll do that to whatever-her-name-is, get her to go and blow up the Future Foundation building or something.

Nakashima: That would certainly create some fireworks.

Maverick: Not to mention get rid of a lot of pains in the ass… Though, knowing Nakamura… fucker’s like a cockroach, he’d probably survive and come on a roaring rampage of revenge because his girlfriends died.

Nakashima: He’s certainly hard to put down.

Maverick: Too hard for any reasonable human. Thankfully, I’m not reasonable… well, not when it comes to him… *He walks over to his possessions and pulls out a bottle of wine* Thirsty?

Nakashima: I suppose I could use a drink. Walks over

*Maverick pulls out a couple shot glasses and pours* Sorry there’s nothing fancy to drink out of, but it was a stroke of luck finding this thing almost a year after everything went down. I mean, first thing you’d think people would do would be to get drunk off their asses and wait for death

Nakashima: I’d figure if someone wanted to kill themselves, they would’ve just gotten it over with.

Maverick: Some do. Some don’t. Humans are weird like that.

Nakashima: Indeed. *Takes a glass*

*Maverick drinks*

*Nakashima drinks as well*

Maverick: Shit… either I’m a lightweight or this stuff is stronger than I thought.

Nakashima: *Coughs a bit* Might be the former.

Maverick: *He shrugs, before pouring himself another glass*

Nakashima: If my sister was here, she’d have a riot with this stuff.

Maverick: Akagawa, right? That’s her name?

Nakashima: Yep.

Maverick: I’m curious… what’re your plans for when you cross paths with her next?

Nakashima: I’m not sure, but there will more than likely be an alteration.

Maverick: Heh, sounds like fun. I’m curious though… think you’ll kill her?

Nakashima: I’m not sure, honestly.

Maverick: Fair enough. Can’t imagine killing a family member would be easy.

Nakashima: No, it wouldn’t.

Maverick: I wonder… would you rather kill a family member or die for them?

Nakashima: That’s….difficult.

Maverick: Fair enough… you in the mood for a game? We give each other hypothetical scenarios, and see what the other answers

Nakashima: Sure, sounds fun.

Maverick: All right, I’ll start. You’re a bodyguard, being paid a million yen an hour to protect someone rich. Someone offers you a hundred million yen to kill them, but you have to do it in public, in front of millions of people, where you’ll probably get caught. You’ll still get paid though. Would you accept?

Nakashima: Hmm….this might sound stupid, but I wouldn’t do it.

Maverick: Really? Care to elaborate?

Nakashima: What good would a hundred million yen do for me if I’m in prison?

Maverick: Bribes. You’d be surprised at how the judicial system can be swayed by a little bit of cash.

Nakashima: *Shrugs* I guess.

Maverick: All right, your turn. Give me a scenario.

Nakashima: You live in the slums, and you can’t afford much. One day, you’re approached by a man who’s willing to give you a job and pay you a lot of yen. However, you have to break into the home of an old lady and steal as many belongings of hers as you can. Would you do it?

Maverick: Hell yeah. I mean, I’d probably do it even if I didn’t live in the slums.

Nakashima: Heh, I suppose she wouldn’t need them for much longer.

Maverick: Exactly. Old bat’s already on her way out, might as well grab what we can before the lawyers descend and take it all.  Now… next scenario… let’s say that a coworker of yours plans to leave and start up his own company to rival the current one. He offers you a job there, and tells you that if it all works out, you’ll be paid better than you are at your current job. You know your boss isn’t a fan of this idea, but a few of your fellow coworkers see the appeal and are willing to sign up with the leaving guy. Whose company do you join?

Nakashima: Might as well go with the coworker.

Maverick: Taking risks then? Nice.

Nakashima: If I think the guy could run a better company, it would make sense to go with him, no?

Maverick: Very true.

Nakashima: Alright, here’s one. You’re a wealthy tycoon with a ton of cash, but you find yourself in a gambling circuit with incredibly good players. Would you play with them and risk losing your fortune, or wouldn’t you risk it?

Maverick: I’d play them. And I’d find a way to win… bending the rules if necessary.

Nakashima: I’d expect nothing less from you.

Maverick: Heh. One more, then call it a night? My head’s starting to get really fuzzy…

Nakashima: Sure.

Maverick: All right… so, you find out someone who you were once very close with has been keeping a secret from you. A really big secret, in fact. They gave something that you wanted, something you really wanted, more than almost anything else, to another person. Eventually, you find out that thing you wanted, that you didn’t even know existed up until now, was broken beyond any sort of repair… and you find out who both the person who’d been keeping it a secret and the person who broke it was. What do you do to them?

Nakashima: Probably sock ‘em. As hard as I could.

*Maverick nods at this, then indicates for Nakashima to give him the final scenario*

Nakashima: You have a kid who’s a major troublemaker. He gets himself into an illegal situation that could result in him being locked up for life, but the cost the bail him is more than your yearly income. Do you bail him out or let the law have its way?

*Maverick stiffens slightly at the mention of him having a child, then relaxes once Nakashima says “he”* This is tough… but ultimately, I think I’d bail them out.

Nakashima: Yeah, I probably would too.

Maverick: Gotta look out for your own flesh and blood right? *He stands, only to sway and lose his balance, collapsing into a heap on the floor*

Nakashima: *Smirks a bit* Need a hand?

Maverick: Thanks for the offer, but I’m good. *He makes no move to get up* This was fun, Atsushi, we should do it again sometime.

Nakashima: Indeed. You’re probably the most enjoyable person to be around here.

Maverick: Well, thank you for the compliment. See you ‘round.

Nakashima: Yep, later.

*Once Nakashima’s walked off, Maverick stands, dusting himself off. All signs of nausea or intoxication are gone as he tidies up, then lies back down with a notebook. He jots down a few things, then smiles to himself. Nakashima Atsushi was an interesting case study… a very interesting study indeed…*