#like I don’t know how to describe it
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I’m 19 so I’m pretty solidly gen z but I’ve always felt (unfortunately) more aligned with millennials and I honestly think the reason why is… uh… homeschooling?
I know that sounds weird but. I spent my whole childhood completely cut off from any peers, anyone my age, through high school. College was the first time I met anyone my age in real life. I spent my WHOLE childhood on tumblr and deviantart.
I’m currently having my 11 year anniversary with tumblr and it’s a very strange feeling because I definitely suffered some extremely unfortunate consequences of millennial tumblr culture but I also relate to a lot of the culture that’s gone by the wayside. I remember the hay day of tumblr sexy men and live journal and Alexandria’s genesis.
Anyway… yeah I do sometimes wish I had been around more of my peers in childhood. I wish it a LOT. I was an incredibly lonely child. There are good ways to do homeschooling and I’m not sure the way my parents did it was good (it wasn’t. Like honestly it was Not) but I will always hold a weird nostalgia for 2010s tumblr that I don’t think even actual millennials and older gen z have LMAO
#homeschooling is really odd#like I don’t know how to describe it#I thought I was an introvert for so long#I wasn’t I just…….. literally never interacted with people my age#I genuinely believe social interaction is a vital need#and it’s……..#kind of sad that I was deprived of that until I was 18 years old#goddamn.#my ramblings
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I just read pigeon poem and 004. Alone in my room at one am and I feel sick- god fuck real art is exhausting I think that’s why I don’t make it anymore I feel an emotion I cannot articulate
#closer baby closer#sav brown#savannah brown#pigeon poem#004.#I love listening to Taylor swift and drawing fun little fanart sand I guess that’s real art#and yeah I’ve cried listening to t swift in my room and over supercorp fics#but like#I don’t want to reduce those genres at all#that’s art#but idk#the other day I listened to the tiny desk concert of mitski screaming into the guitar during class of 2013#and reading legitimate contemporary poetry (not new age milk and honey core shit)#it makes me feel more ardently#like I don’t know how to describe it#it’s like I can get a little controles taste of emotions and grief and joy and love and loss while listening to bedroom pop#(and I’ll admit folklore and evermore are so well written they scratch an itch) but I feels starved#like they fill up my heart but have no nutritional value to me#like I’ll numb myself with my safety art to experience emotions like crying over fandoms and making theories#and it’s all well and good#until I watch Everything Everywhere All At Once and realize I’ve been playing with paper dolls of my emotions#or I’ll listen to mitski scream off key into her guitar pickups- not sing- just wail like an animal caught in a trap- unwaivering#or I’ll read pigeon poem or poem 004. and I’m no longer experiencing art with training weeks on#I am left with my own emotions in a way I only am after years of studying art and music and I just kinda let myself enjoying my fav#emotional junk food- I didn’t realize how starved I am for REAL art and to create real art#(also this isn’t shitting on Taylor or fanart it’s or fanfic writers I am a fan artist- but like THIS is a different level of emotions)
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10.03
is it just me or had this season been formatee weird so far
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loop kill loop
#I find it funny cause#the only thing I’ve been drawing ever since I got here is like#loop kill sif#sif kill loop#loop kill loop(this one#now I just need sif kill sif#I don’t know how to describe their relationship#kill and be killed(?????#my art#isat spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#cw stabbing#cw mild nudity#isat siffrin#tagging Siffrin but know that both of these are loop
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my favorite thing about the dune books is the way in which every single character speaks like they are moving through a half-remembered dream and thinks like they are making asides to an audience begging them to do something about it. my least favorite thing about the dune books is that i am still not sure if they’re good.
#i finished messiah today. haaaaated the first third and then the back part of it really got me#dune#i don’t know how i would describe the tone except like. flat and inhuman. when it works it REALLY works and when it doesn’t itreally doesn’t#duneposting.gov
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my friend dimple
#been having a lot of dimple emotions recently#he gets called a pet or errand boy but he’s so much more than that. he’s so important to mob#dimple has saved mob countless times and gets to witness some of mobs most intense and violent forms#the human and inhuman are equally close to mob. as a spirit dimple has a very unique and critical role in mobs life#mob is at once human and otherworldly#just like simple#they are friends guys is anyone listening#mob brought dimple back simply bc he missed him so much#like WHAT. that’s insane. guys they have a bond that’s quite literally unmatched it’s incomparable to all the other relationships mob has#i can’t properly describe how i feel about them just know#also don’t tag as sh//ip unless you want cinderblocks tied to your ankles and then be thrown into the mariana trench#mob psycho 100#mp100#mob psycho fanart#shigeo kageyama#ekubo#mp100 dimple#art#treeart#dimple not simple. sigh.
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UNSTOPPABLE FORCE.
I like Ultrakill a normal amount guys.. trust me..
#my art#IM ACTUALLY KIND OF HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT??? which is surprising because I usually am not#all that satisfied with art I make but I spent a lot of time tinkering with the colors on this one and I think I got it to a place I like#it :). I wish I added a bit more random stuff to the area behind V1s wing things but I think that’s really my only complaint with this#ultrakill v1#not wof#i don’t know why I still use the not wof tag for my art anymore I’m barely wings of fire centric now…#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v1#cw bright colors#bright colors cw#bright colors warning#bright colors#described
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do you ever think about how matthew fairchild was such a sunshine coded character—a golden boy, floated through school, charmed everyone with his infamous smile; a starry-eyed dreamer who had faith in most things that weren’t himself. and how because of one moment of naivety he lost years of his life to devastating self-sabotage, believing himself worth nothing, deserving of nothing, drinking day by day to numb out the pain—because he believed people could only ever like him when he wasn’t sober, when he wasn’t fully himself. and how despite visibly not being okay, nobody ever really said anything about it until he basically hit rock bottom. and do you ever think about how matthew would’ve given up his love for cordelia in a second if it meant james could be happy, when james wouldn’t do the same? you knew. i told you in the letter. and how he joked and deflected so much to hide how sad he really was, because he believed no one would care enough to see it. i did not know that i looked sad, to you. because i think about it a lot and it makes me very sad
#matthew fairchild#the last hours#tlh#chain of thorns#so i don’t know what possessed me to write this but i reread certain first parts of chain of thorns and well.#also thinking ab him in cast long shadows#how he’s described as being so lovely and charming and bright#but he ends up SUCH a sad character like he is so sad#well anyways if u couldnt tell who my last hours favourite was hahah#gotsm#cus like. when james showed up matthew is stricken#and obviously not entirely in the right yeah#but he ceded the battlefield and says this explicitly#but james knew of his feelings and shows up - hence not doing the same for matthew.#that made me a little mad lol#but whatever ….#chot spoilers
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normal after-school hangouts
#worm#wormblr#parahumans#described#i didn’t look up how they look to avoid spoilers so just going off memory……..#i don’t know if i’m meant to imagine regents outfit as like a cravat or a pierrot frill or what so i went for ‘thrifted ren faire’. idk.#frogs.art
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*cracks knuckles* we know Tyler isn’t the original Clancy right? Y’all caught that? Clancy’s bishop was Keons, Tyler’s is Nico, and now “Clancy” is Tyler. Because “scaled and icy” is an anagram for “Clancy is dead” and that album was the one where dema was using Tyler’s popularity for their own purposes. Clancy failed to stop the cycle on his own, and despite already being used as a figurehead for dema, Tyler decided to take up the role of “Clancy” in the wake of what seemed like a total collapse of the Banditos. Their leader had been taken out, and now they had no one to organize them.
But Tyler taking on the name Clancy isn’t him taking on the role of leader or even organizer. He is showing us (the Banditos) that we all can be our own inspiration, we don’t need a figure to follow, we don’t need a leader to lead us. We can do this, fight dema, ourselves.
Y’all got that, right?
#twenty one pilots#twenty øne piløts#tøp#Clancy#tøp clancy#I just don’t ever see anyone talking about the lore connections and I need to know that I’m not the only person making these connections#bc I remember the countless interviews where Tyler reiterated that he is not Clancy and the letters are not written by him#and in the letters clancy explains how each person gets a bishop assigned to them and his was keons#and in Nico and the niners tyler sings he’ll always try to stop me that Nicolas Bourbaki#therefore the bishop we see in the videos interacting with tyler is Nico and not keons#let alone the fact that Clancy describes keons as kind and gentle and Nico seems very forceful in comparison#and don’t forget this is all a metaphor or allegory for depression and mental illness#Clancy’s bishops being kind and caring while Tyler’s is scary and forceful is representing the different ways mental illness can menifest#maybe it feels like it’s trying to help you but it’s actually just keeping control over you#or maybe it scared the shit out of you but you don’t know how to fight back#because both kind of have a point#anyway#pls let me know if this was new information or if I’m preaching to the choir
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hello I would like the kevallison smut ?? Please
The promised kevallison headcanons (aka how the two of them figure out what the other person is into + how they might go about doing it)
When they start hooking up it’s all pretty standard stuff. Allison gets him off after a game. Kevin eats her out if there’s ten minutes free in between classes and an empty dorm room. They’re a booty call before, during or after a night out, or a no-strings-attached way to get some frustration off their chest. Their friends-with-benefits situation is more often than not just a quick fuck when they’re bored. But it's kind of just… that? It's just fucking. It's a handful of different positions, in a handful of different places, but nothing more than fucking, finishing, and leaving. They don’t feel a need to bring it any further though, in some ways hesitant that the other will catch feelings if it gets too intimate. But from the get-go their agreement is clear - if either starts to get attached, or jealous, or even thinks that it might be worth pursuing, they stop. It doesn’t happen, of course, but in the beginning they really try to err on the side of caution until they know that for certain.
There’s one of two ways that their casual hook ups becomes more... interesting every now and again: one) accidentally. two) intentionally.
If it is accidental, I think they stumble upon the other’s kinks by the Grace of God. It's a quick fuck that turns into something more because one of them picks up on how the other's demeanor changes and they realise oh. oh. That did something for them. The moment when it happens is so intoxicating and sexually charged; So intense at the realisation of how turned on the other person is, that they’re just waiting for someone in the dorm room over, or outside the bathroom at a party, or in the almost-empty parking lot to ask did anyone hear Allison and Kevin fucking last night? For either of them, single and used to quick fucks with strangers that don't mean anything nor have the longevity for experimenting with, getting to dip into their fantasies is unparalleled pleasure.
If it’s accidental, it’s a pleasant surprise for them both, and Kevin and Allison have that in common - they are both incredibly, heavily turned on by their fuck-buddies feeling satisfied. It happens, where sometimes Kevin just wants to be blown without returning the gesture, or where Allison wants to come without having to put in the effort it takes to give back. More often than not, though, whether it be with each other or with other people, they're most satisfied when the other person is satisfied, too. So when the topic of kinks and turn ons is broached, or accidentally revealed, it doesn't matter that it's Kevin, or that it's Allison. When they've been fucking for long enough that they find themselves discovering these things, they're comfortable enough with each other to not feel embarrassed about what happens when they have sex. If it makes her wet, and it keeps him hard, then it doesn't matter. They don't talk about their sex lives outside of when or where it happens - a kink or two isn't going to change that.
For Kevin, sweet submissive baby boy who just lives to be praised - oh, when Allison finds out, it opens this door for changing their dynamics that she hadn't even realised existed. Kevin gets so turned on that he practically melts, and Allison eats it up like it's the hottest thing she's ever laid eyes on.
They've found themselves standing up against a wall in a bathroom at a party somewhere, too many suggestive looks across the room leading to a desperately desired handjob or two, and Kevin is fumbling with the buckle of his belt. He struggles with it for a second, before pulling the black leather out from it's square frame and Allison offhandedly says good job with a laugh as she trails kisses up his neck and her fingers down his stomach. She feels his reaction to her words before she notices how his eyes glaze over with the thoughts in his head; how he stills at her words, how he's yearning through his sigh when she follows with a knowing whisper of oh, you want me to tell you how good you're being?
Him in her hand, the long acrylic nails of her free hand dragging lines down his neck, Allison feels how needy he is and softly purrs in his ear to tell her how much he wants it. It's not lost on him how she plays with him like putty between her tender fingers, but still he looks into her eyes with his eyebrows knitted into each other, too close to argue; The please that escapes his lips trapped in between a gasp and a moan is rebutted with her sultry say it again. I want to hear that pretty voice beg. It takes the stalling of the rhythm in her working hand before he finds the ability to whimper out his desperate please, please, please. She's using her free hand to hold his face still, their eyes locked together, while he can barely keep himself in one piece. Her thumb is soft over his lips, brushing over little gasps and short breaths, holding him while she whispers a question and he falls apart in her hands.
If Kevin loves to be topped by strong women, Allison loves to hear a man moan. And she’s never heard him like this before, his lips drawn apart just inches from hers, one hand steadying himself against the wall and the other tugging and pawing at the skin of the small of her back. She doesn't let him look away as she guides him to climax with her soft words of gentle praise. How pretty he looks when he's trying his hardest to be quiet, how well he's doing at keeping himself composed.
Allsion doesn't care that she's accidentally unlocked this submissive side of Kevin; firstly, he's hot as hell when he's this desperate, and it's not as if she's going to be leaving that bathroom and calling him a good boy on the court, because that's not how this works. She's fucked him angry and she's fucked him needy - the passion of fulfilled fantasy only working on a different level to anything else.
(When he's caught his breath and started to clean himself up, she washes her hands and admires her work; his rosy cheeks burning up as she watches him in the mirror. She pushes herself up onto the vanity, and when he can finally bare to look at her again, she says I'm proud of you with a playful smile. Kevin covers his face to laugh in semi-embarrassment, his head shaking as he finds himself in between her legs. They don't talk about it too much before he returns the favour.)
Then there's, Allison, sweet Allison, who's interests work in harmony like a perfect composed song. We knows she loves to hear the men she sleeps with, but there's two things that really get her going that more often than not go hand in hand - rough sex, and loud sex. Living in dorms, it's hard to indulge, especially the second, but usually she'll just pull him close, with his lips to her ear or hers to his. Allison gets off on hearing the person she's fucking, and Kevin is not an exception to that.
They've somehow had a stroke of luck - an empty house in Columbia and some time to kill. Kevin is on the edge of the bed, and Allison is facing Kevin while sitting on his lap, her knees resting on either side of him, in a skirt that is already so short that it's barely even there. They're making out, and Kevin isn't really thinking, but he slaps her ass - something he'd done once or twice before, but never that hard, never that loud. Allison sits back, hands on his shoulders with her mouth open wide. She doesn't get the chance to finish her questioning what are you doing? Before his mischievous smile curls around, what, this? as he laughs and does it again. When she stands up off of him in a half-protest, shaking her finger at how close he was getting to really getting her going, he follows her up. He stands in front of her with feigned apologies for his boldness. She leans into his kiss, with arms wrapped tight around her waist, but instead of pouting his lips, he picks her up and throws her back onto the bed while she scream-laughs.
Body over body, on top of her then, a hand finds it's way in between strands of shiny blonde. A hand that she takes into hers, guiding his fist to grasp a handful of her hair. When he doesn't hold it hard enough she tugs it gently, keeping his fist closed with her hand around it. Looking down at her, he purses his lips with an oh that pauses his other hand while it pushes up her skirt to touch her over her panties. Reading him while waiting for the laugh that never comes is agonisingly long, as she braces herself for the mortifying conversation that he was not going to be entertaining it. Instead he waits for her hand to trail away before pulling her head, hard, back into the bed. And when she shuts her eyes and parts her lips in pleasure, he is quick to bring his hand up to her chin, tilting her head back. The two smallest of his fingers fingers tuck themselves neatly behind her ear, the other two tight between her jawline and her cheekbone. The ball of his thumb is resting on her chin. She doesn't stop him when his thumb trails down from her cupid's bow and into her mouth. She doesn't stop him when he takes it out hold it around her throat, either. Kevin is careful to scatter wet bruises down her chest where they won't be seen. When he's standing back to take off his pants and she’s lifting her top over her head, he asks, you want it hard? and she responds do you even fucking have to ask?
Her skirt is up over her hips and her thong down her thighs. He’s on his knees with her legs over his thighs, maybe he’s pinning her hands down above her head with one big hand over her little wrists. Headboard banging, unrestrained volume, handprints on ass cheeks and scratches across spines. Allison gets sex-drunk when he manhandles her. It’s sloppy, it’s messy, it’s loud, it’s so hot that it’s on fire. It’s eye-rolling, being in a daze afterwards type of fucking. It’s mascara running down cheeks, how the fuck am I supposed to look anyone in the eye after having that done to me type of fucking. It’s needing to have a shower immediately afterwards type of sweaty, messy fucking.
(It’s probably one of the only times they almost/kind of get caught. Not because of the noise, or the sex itself but because of the aftermath. Andrew and Neil clock INSTANTLY the missing and changed details when they regroup - how Kevin’s hair is freshly washed, how Allison has taken her heavy makeup off leaving only a fresh coat of mascara and some lipgloss remaining. How they can barely look at each other in case it reminds them of what has just happened. Their puffy lips, their general daze. Yeah, they fly a little too close to the sun that time - not enough time afterwards to recuperate from an absolutely dirty, filthy, fucking.)
If it's an intentional thing, a discussion about what they're into, and they know before getting into it/it's a conscious choice/it's intentional/some sort of discussion/WHATEVER? There's a few ways I could potentially see it possibly coming up.
A game of Never Have I Ever or some other drinking game with the group and the discussions of kinks come up; Kevin drinks when somebody mentions a praise kink, or being dominated. Allison drinks when somebody mentions liking it rough. Their looks to each other are quick but knowing, Kevin's raised eyebrows when Allison drinks to say she doesn't mind being degraded, the flick of her eyes when he drinks to say he doesn't mind begging for it.
They don't hang around after hooking up, usually. Clean up, get dressed, and leave. That's the routine. But they're talking afterwards for a little while, and the subject of fantasies comes up, and while shes fixing her makeup and tying up her hair she asks him what's the one thing he'd go crazy for. he considers it for a little bit but then gets embarrassed because it's a way harder thing to talk about when you're not actively turned on or drunk. They offer each other tiny pieces as they joke about it, starting tame before they eventually just say it out straight. (she calls him princess when she's leaving and he calls her a slut before she shuts the door.)
They ask each other outright. Kinda similar to accidentally figuring it out but they ask each other for it instead of the other person just doing something and stumbling upon it. Maybe Kevin asks her to tell him how good he feels and she asks why, are you into that? and they like. talk through it . Do you like it when I ask you this? Can I call you this? Do you like it when I tell you you're doing such a good job? Talking through sex can be so hot and even hearing the questions out loud sets the imagination off on a fucking marathon. Maybe Allison asks can you choke me? and he asks her how she likes it before agreeing. Do you like it when I hold you like this? Do you want me to spit in your mouth? Do you want to shut the fuck up and listen to what you do to me? It's a much more thorough discussion than them simply going oh, i think the other person has [blank] kink, so i'm just gonna go ahead and do that. It's a request, instead. Both of them knowing what they want and knowing how to ask for it? Yeaaaahhhh
#I can’t stress it enough I do not ever think they date#I don’t think they even consider it#they’re so happy with just fucking if there’s no one else around#they don’t get jealous#yeah maybe at some point it happens a little more often than it should#but there’s an end point to it#always has been always will be#also they're both switches#which i know we want kevin to be a bottom soooooo. bad#but look at him#(you can't)#LOOK AT HIM#he fucks#thats just the truth#kevin day#allison reynolds#aftg#all for the game#kevallison#they laugh alot when they hook up#if u cant tell#how do u describe this kind of writing? it’s not a fic#it’s more than a hc I guess but writing like this is not the same as writing like it’s a fic#it’s pure description#so I’d happily write some actual descriptive smut but this is what I’ve got rn instead#mine#ask
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I really wish we got more onscreen time with just Borg and Pixal, because their dynamic is just so sweet and funny to me.
it basically boils down to she’s daddy’s little girl and can get everything she wants and knows it. As well of course that they definitely are the type to spend their weekends hanging out and inventing while catching up on how they’ve been after the previous catastrophe of the week.
Who do you think is supplying her with the materials and equipment she needs to build vehicles for everyone or defences for the monastery?
Think about crystallised and the way she just asked him to help with their illegal operation to steal a highly protected weapon right after Kai said that it would be basically impossible to just call him. Literally one “Mr. Borg we need your assistance” from her and it was a done deal. Like the moment I heard it I immediately just translated it into “Dad, pretty please can we do this very illegal thing with your help.”
I’m gonna say it, the man probably spoils her every moment he can, probably always giving her the latest prototype of whatever he has invented, and dedicates a portion of his earnings into a “Pixal fund”, which is specifically dedicated to helping the ninja with whatever they need because she asked.
No, Pixal does not know it exists she just assumes that it’s a company expense. ( the expense probably listed as “stuff bought so villain of the week won’t destroy our HQ, and all of Ninjago, your welcome”)
Also you know the ninja are taking advantage her connections so hard.
Jay and Nya would beg her to get their hands on any prototype she has received so they can take it apart and study it (would you have me believe that that wouldn’t be an immediate date night?) granted Jay would probably do this more than Nya and would instead just be presenting to her what Pixal gave him and then suggest they take it apart.
Kai would pester her for the latest Borg phone or Borg watch because he needs to be up to date or will die (despite his distaste for new tech in season three he definitely grew a phone addiction and later fell down a hole he can’t dig himself out of)
Cole would ask about any new games in development to be the first to sign up for game testing (that is if Jay didn’t already do it first)
Lloyd probably actually respects the boundaries that would come with having a friend who has a tech genius and rich dad and wouldn’t bother her about it. At most he’d ask for a new car or bike because he crashed the last one. (Thriving with the Lloyd is a barely passable driver and anything he does is up to luck headcanon, there is also a betting pool for how long it takes for him to crash the next thing. Kai is a scary accurate winner)
and Zane…gonna be honest he’s probably just setting up family lunches between himself, Borg and Pixal. You can’t tell me the minute Pixal expressed feelings for Zane that Borg didn’t try his best to make him part of the family.
tangent aside I wish we had more scenes with the two interacting because the show being what it is there is very rare chance to depict a father daughter relationship. I also think Pixal getting whatever she wants without question is funny. I mean it’s not like she abuses that power or anything.
I think.
#This was longer than expected#I clearly had many thoughts that could not be contained#pixal ninjago#pixal borg#cyrus borg#jay walker#kai ninjago#zane julien#zane ninjago#cole ninjago#nya smith#llyod garmadon#Lloyd garmadon is a bad driver and I have no evidence to back it#Ninjago#DR give me Pixal back please I miss her#And the odd comfort I have from Borg being on screen#Borg tower is the big “this is Ninjago city” landmark to me and seeing anything associated with it feels very homey#Don’t know how to describe it without making this sound like more of a comfort show than it already is
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Him :)
#he’s got such a great smile#like the way his cheeks puff up a little I don’t know how also to describe it#James was just happy to be there#he was so cute when he was nervous#I would cry if I was in the presence of John Deacon Brain May and Roger Taylor#mainly John#metallica#james hetfield
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Mspaint gourms to practice drawing. Flesh
#I realized as I was typing I don’t know how to describe what I was doing#like#the weight? of physical bodies? and how far and organs and general shmeat wrinkles up and moves around#I dunno man#anyway#art#no id#rain world fanart#the gourmand#rw gourmand#rain world gourmand#rain world
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Princess Sofia!!
#ever since I figured out lineless art#I have been obsessed#it is SO MUCH FUN!!!#I don’t know how to describe this artstyle but like#childrens book/cartoon style?#I'm thinking of drawing more of the other Sofia the First characters honestly#not necessarily in this style#but just in general#I wanna draw Princess Vivian#OH AND PRINCESS AMBER!!!#having trouble drawing the princesses in general because they all have huge heads and eyes#princess sofia#sofia the fandom#sofia the first#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#stf#stf fanart#nox draws
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actual designs for that venom/symbiote au idea i had. mariana’s kinda just some guy lol
bonus doodles for people that care to open the readmore :p
#.png#qsmp#slimecicle#elmariana#slimeriana#fanart#symbiote au#the id for this one was so hard like how do u describe. that#also if u don’t know why i added the <triangle brackets> around what mari said in the doodles#it’s what comic books do to show that something is being spoken#in a language other than the one it was written in#so he’s speaking spanish there lol#there’s ur fun fact of the day
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