#life seems so dismal when i can barely participate in living yaknow?
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I’m so tired of being disabled.
#reblogged something recently that talked about makking a numerical guess at how much energy you have every morning#and linking it to how much youre realistically able to do during the day#ultimately so you stop trying to do 90% on 30% days#and even just drawing up the scales is bad#the first third are house/bedbound for fucks sake#i dont even get to being able to shower until im at like 75%#and im realizing most days lately are at 30%#which im hoping is just coz i technically had something closer to a 90#but i just... its so fucking depressing realizing how little i can get done in a day#and yea ik others have it worse but id like to bitch about my lot please#i dont know how to make peace with it#at least when i was killing myself i had a purpose#but honoring my health feels a lot like... idk#theres just so little there#life seems so dismal when i can barely participate in living yaknow?#im also feeling extra guilty because i dont think i have much food in the house#not fuck all i can cook anyhow#so i might have to get ubereats again#and that just fels bad yaknow?#im just really dissatisfied with my life and my body and its really fucking hard#me saying shit
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