#lieutenant talks

[poirott]

Columbo + his basset hound named "Dog"

He doesn't look like a police dog. Well, he isn't. He's a policeman's dog. Believe me, there's a big difference.

COLUMBO (1968 - 2003)

[shotmrmiller]

forcing your presence onto simon late at night because insomnia and a cup of tea always helps, or so they say, but you were taught better than to not offer others some but now the steaming cup is just sitting on the table to cool while you carefully sip on yours.

he doesn't look at it, you, nothing. keeps his eyes fixed on whatever he's doing, maybe cleaning his gun or something. fine. what matters is that you did your part.

and it eventually becomes routine. every night, like clockwork, he's darkening a corner in the coffee room and you've got a kettle warming. and every night, he ignores everything in his peripheral.

until he doesn't. it starts slow. you're already headed for the door, hand covering your yawn when he picks up the mug and takes a sniff. then, it's the tiniest sip, as if it's got teeth. come morning, the mug you used and his are clean, drying on a dish mat.

the following night, he waits for you to put it on the table before grabbing it. "you've a shit hand," he mutters. "left to steep too long. more bitter than the cigars price smokes."

okay. bastard. the next pot is too bland. calls it dog water. but he drinks all of it just the same. little to no sugar, splash of milk. the stare he leveled your way when he added milk could've destroyed the block.

"secrets safe with me, lieutenant. swear it."

unless he's tearing your ego into tatters with his scathing tea critique, he says nothing else. listens well enough, though. maybe. his eyes look blank most of the time. but he lets you ramble without interruption about nonsensical stuff; your day, your job, soap being the usual nuisance.

it's nice.

and then you fall ill. nothing water and cocooning yourself with your bedsheets for a day or three can't fix.

but then there's a very violent knocking on your door, hard enough to rattle it in its hinges, flaring the already painful throbbing that sits behind your eyes. no matter how hard you try to tell them to piss off, they don't.

"open the door."

now you've got a 6'2+ man barreling into your bedroom, turning his unnerving gaze your way. his eyes flick to your runny nose, chapped lips and wrinkled sleeping clothes.

"you're sick." brilliant observation. truly a man worth his sniper position.

"yes. i'm quite-" your words come to settle behind your clenched teeth as you watch him dig into his front pockets and pull out crinkled tea bags. and open your cabinets because now you're the visitor and he the (g)host.

you'd rather drink battery acid than another one of his brews. it made your eyes prick with tears, burned as it went down, warmed your chest. it was lukewarm when you drank it.

(he clears up a space on your foot table, and by clear up i mean use an arm to shove everything off the edge so he can continue to clean his weapons. has your couch always been that small?)

[fernesaul]

That's how "Through Imperial Eyes" went, right?

[cameoliob]

Don’t you just hate it when the rebel alliance sends you on a mission to break a contact out of prison but then it turns out that he’s your annoying ass ex bf and now everything is awkward because you were the one that arrested him and put him in prison in the first place?

[dibbs-n-scribbs]

Late night Columbo sketch. Been watching the series for the first time and I'm already hooked

[oshaskell]

downtime with your CO

[mahoutoons]

not to be dramatic but i am so tired of certain magical girl fans who, in 2024, whine about madoka ruining the genre and how "thanks to madoka there are no lighthearted magical girl shows anymore and everything is all dark and gritty now >>:(" because that's not true at all!! if lighthearted magical girl shows aren't in demand anymore then why is toei still making precure seasons? not only that but there are a bunch of new magical girl shows coming out this year alone. but instead you choose to give attention to madoka wannabe #324 and fetish bait show #582 to whine about how "magical girls are dead now".

you want lighthearted, fluffy, fun magical girl shows? THEN FUCKING SUPPORT THEM!

himitsu no aipri, which is a part of the pretty series, will air on april 7

acro trip will premiere some time this year

magilumiere co ltd will premiere in the fourth quarter of this year

the magical girl and evil lieutenant used to be archenemies will air in july of this year

GO SUPPORT THESE SHOWS INSTEAD OF WHINING ABOUT THE GENRE BEING DEAD, THEN WE CAN TRULY HAVE A MAGICAL GIRL RENAISSANCE.

[lifedoesntdiscriminate]

just checking. will you accompany kj to dashcon 2?

as long as it works with her/her mom’s budget!! shell need her right hand man for the duel :3

[charlesherbertlightoller]

Golden Kamuy was insane.

The protagonist is a Russo-Japanese War vet who regularly performed near-suicidal attacks in battle and survived multiple near-fatal injuries, earning him the moniker "Immortal" which he regularly shouts out during fight scenes. His best friend is a 12 year old Ainu girl who hunts bears and has a pet wolf. The main bad guy is another war vet who's missing his forehead so he wears a ceramic plate over his exposed brain and despite being an irredeemably evil Bond Villain type antagonist, all his inferior officers simp for him to ridiculous levels. The minor adversaries include (but are not limited to) a giant undefeatable escaped prisoner with a pornstache and square-shaped lump on his forehead, a cannibalistic transgender woman who runs a death trap hotel, a serial killer who gets boners when thinking about someone else killing him, Japanese twink Ed Gein, a pervert with a stupid hairdo who dies while fucking a bear and a blind old man who dresses like an owl. Toshizou Hijikata, who was a real guy from real life who existed at one point, is a supporting character. The Ainu girl's father assassinated Tsar Aleksandr II. There's gratuitous cooking scenes between the action and death. The manga is at least partially responsible for kickstarting a Renaissance of Ainu culture in Japan. The author cannot stop talking about his characters' dicks in interviews.

This is one of the most popular manga and anime series of the past 10 years.

[comradekitten45]

the sillies ♥

[orion-kenobi]

I just watched Miller’s Crossing and in the scene where Rodney’s telling John he’ll let the wraith feed on him to save Jeannie John is not down with that and says it’s because Rodney’s an important member of his team instead of just telling Rodney he cares about him 😭 This is not the only time he’s done that! He has a habit of trying so hard to seem clinical and weirdly detached from people whilst clearly upset over the idea of losing them at the same time. John Sheppard is truly so fascinating to me.

[spineless-lobster]

LIEUTENANT HAVERS?!??!? IN MOTA?!?!?!! MORE FUCKING LIKELY THAN YOU THINK!!!!!

[hizznbyte]

I really like his dumb face.

Something about it is really cute [could it just be me? I’m kind of -no, very- obsessed with this man]

His tired default face.

He’s genuinely so me fr im not even kidding [me and my resting bitch face]

Sorry for Lettu posting it shall happen again

[erythriina]

Autism creature

[ailendolin]

If we're going to see Havers again in series 5, I hope it is to bring the Captain closure and help him come to terms with who he is. Perhaps an old letter from Havers surfaces, one he never sent because it contains all the things he always wanted to tell the Captain but couldn't, and then we'll get glimpses into their shared past again, only this time the Captain knows what all the soft smiles and lingering looks and accidental touches meant, and he finally allows himself to realise that he returned every single one of them.

And maybe, just maybe, the episode will end with him looking out of the window again, and as he watches the ghost of Havers leave once more, he whispers for all to hear, "I should have never let him go."

[oshaskell]