#less stressed but still a lot to do
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wiggle boi
I made these a while ago for my animation homework because I'm cool and give my teachers psychic damage with skibidi fanart
#skibidi toilet#cameraman#animated#lucky cameraman#bob salmon#myart#im busy till like the end of may#less stressed but still a lot to do#i rlyyy wanna do more silly art bullshit#and answer the asks i got#but uni is a lot#so enjoy funky lad for now#;pp#skibidi toilet fanart#skibiditoilet fandom#dafuqboom
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older designs for my specialest guy
#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga#hyuga neji#art#fanart#naruto#2024#i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile#the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you#anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not#under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought#i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married#2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable#when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable#3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions#are not fun as a concept#are they fun on purpose? no#but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose#and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute#but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto#thats my special recommendation from me to you
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goooood afternoon skysword nation
#i just spent waaaay too much money on prints. heh. yeah 😏#little gift for myself bc i hate uni so much [< dangerous thinking path]#honestly just glad im getting cool skysword prints. FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#and an oot one. YAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYAY#aaaand peace and love and joy forever#i also fulfilled my teenage dream of owning slime. it will be mine tomorrow and imm literally so excited abt it i cant think abt it too muc#uhmmm what else#OH i feel a bit less stressed abt uni but. still a lot to do u know how it is#sorry rambling so much but u know me. the yapping yapper#hope u guys are good!!! it is SO the afternoon but if i dont sleep soon i might explode#okay love u guys bye for now mwah#txt
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if you don’t mind me asking, how in the everloving fuck did you get mercury AND arsenic poisoning?? is that common??
siiiiiiiiiiiigh.
so, no...thankfully, my dear, sweet darling:
i don't think it's terribly common, ( neither was the arsenic i guess, but i'll get into that ) but it is when you're stupid as fuck like me.
because i am too lazy to type it all out again and don't have it in me to be eloquent ( i am saving that for writing about the boys, now that i, thankfully, can coherently write again ) i will send you the synopsis that i sent elite sickfic style dr. ana ( god's fucking angel )
**it's the updated, more articulate ( give or take ) version because i tried to explain it to the girls the day i got home ( take it easy on them please, i couldn't text or call and gave them quite a fright, ily girlies ) unfortunately, i was still not super good at making words and processing things, so i wrote this now that i am functioning better.
sorry for spooking you all about the parasite; long story short, it was not as deadly as i thought -- I DID, HOWEVER, STILL HAVE A VERY NASTY BACTERIAL INFECTION, LIKE WHEN I SAY NASTY, I MEAN VERY, VERY, VERY BAD AND I WAS FIGHTING IT CONCURRENTLY WITH THE PARA WHICH MADE IT SEEM A LOT WORSE, VERY ASS!
but long story, medium:
alright! gather round kids --
it's uncle nina story time.
tw for gross medical stuff / me being in mentally ill hell
anyways, looking forward to sharing my writing with you all again and answering my asks if we still care!
love you and hyh,
metal head uncle nina
#uncle nina: village idiot#kind of; i am glad my brain still works#when i tell yall i wasnt writing bc my body was so weak from my bac infection and the crazy metal poisoning me#that i could not think clearly it was hard to talk it was hard to move i was very very very frightened and very light sensitive#i do have bipolar but i was seriously worried i was lowkey schizophrenic for a second there bc i was starting to hallucinate#i am not! just psychosis from the stress and toxic amount of certain elements in my body! whew! jerseykyle moment#my tinnitis is starting to get better and sounds are less scary now i do still get these intense flashes of light in my vision#i'm talking like 80s slasher movie strobe lights like someone turned off the light and turned it back on it fucking sucks#i do still think they should skin biop me for the bac for anythin it caused but fuck if i'm seeing another dr. fuuuck no baby!#but yeah scary when i tell you i thought everything was contaminated ( which it kind of was and was why the para wouldnt clear )#there was ( i think ) a lot of it because i didn't catch it very quickly and or didn't know what it was or what to do because#the doctors wouldn't listen to me about it ( and specifically failed to catch my super serious bacteria infection which#became resistant to several antibiotics which they piled me with to treat conditions that i DID NOT HAVE THX AHOLES )#idk just be gentle with me i am a little fragile just bc its weird to be back to normal and okay again ( i do take a lot of meds )#and i am sorry for all the neglected asks i very much want to answer them and hope to get back to you soon#i love you and sorry if this is tmi i like to be honest with yall
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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Need to vent momentarily so uh…
Had a giant fight with my mom this morning about admiring Elon Musk or Donald Trump just because they’re “successful” which also evolved into her again critiquing her own children and how I pointed out that the shit she says about us can be hurtful, even when she insists she’s trying to be “encouraging.”
I won’t go into detail about it because my family issues are insane sometimes—but I wanted to add this context because maybe I still have some leftover frustration and rage from that, and I guess because I’ve experienced another weeks and weeks’ pile-up of sinophobia, and I’m also overwhelmed by how awful the world is right now with the continued genocide of Palestine but also the rise in normalization of right wing politics, but I saw something today that just added to the frustration because God I hate how people can’t see “the Other” in a less prejudiced light.
It’s not a big deal but saw some sinophobia today that with my poor mood didn’t help exactly:
Basically, there’s a short from a year ago about Chinese celebrities being snubbed at international events to the point that one of them (Liu Yifei) got cut off from a group photo and how another (Zhang Yuqi) got asked to get off the red carpet because they assumed she wasn’t a guest despite her being all dressed up.
The comments are all bullshit like “well they work for the CCP right? So they deserve to be ignored” or “why are you stirring up drama? Just because they’re famous in China doesn’t mean they’re famous internationally” or “haha a taste of China’s own medicine.”
Like oh my God, shut up.
These are international events. Why are you acting like snubbing an international guest isn’t worthy of critique? Just because you hate the country’s politics?? In that case, if you don’t even recognize the celebrity, how do you even know if they work for the oh-so-evil CCP???
It’s always “I don’t hate the Chinese; I just hate their government” until it comes to actual Chinese people because then your poor brain just assumes Chinese people are an extension of their government. You think these celebrities work for the government just by simply existing?? How? Do you think they pay their wages to the CCP or some shit???
Kpop fans mentioned for years that kpop celebrities were snubbed at international red carpets until recently. Why the hell don’t fans of Chinese celebrities get to point it out then?
#kuku vents#I know this isn’t that important#but sometimes it’s the minute things that get to you…you know?#there is bigger sinophobia stuff right now like how people think the recent 35 dead in China after a man drove a car into a crowd#is being covered up by the government#but that big sinophobia stuff is all stuff you expect#this littler instance of sinophobia is frustrating because it shows how normalized sinophobia is to the point it penetrates#these seemingly less important things#why should ‘people don’t deserve to be snubbed’ be a controversial take?? just because they’re Chinese???#also I am admittedly in a really poor mood#I think I fell into depression in October#and I finally kicked it a lot more than usual yesterday to do some cleaning and other productive stuff#but then I had the fight with my mom which made me feel like shit#we fought until the topic moved onto something less hurtful and explosive#but it genuinely made me explode for a while#and I haven’t exploded in some time because I try to avoid conflicts with my mom now and to keep her happy#but I’m the only one at home with her now so I have to put up with her attitude and temper#and I feel a lot of pressure overall from my family to ‘do well’ despite my interests being ‘less useful’#and my family still has other issues too that makes the pressure worse#I don’t even want to vent about my current personal issues anywhere (not with my friends or even my diary) because it’s that stressful#I genuinely don’t even want to think about it#I just kind of feel like I’m going insane
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Every now and then, I stumble across conversations about how fucked up the HL(VRAI) fandom was in 2020, and it's so wild to me that the relevant "examples" are almost always individual off-putting fanworks or individual trolls and not, like, the rampant harassment. Guys, the worst part was the harassment!! The handful of people who posted fucked up shit for shock value were annoying, but the overblown response to those trolls and the ensuing harassment campaigns against anyone who could possibly be construed to have anything in common with them were infinitely worse.
... then again, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of these folks claiming one gross-out fic ruined their fandom experience were also the same people who spread all the discourse and organized the harassment campaigns, so 🤷
#K talks#things have calmed down a lot but it's still so disheartening to see folks take the wrong lesson from all the bullshit#if y'all just left the people you see as 'weirdos' alone you'd be so much less stressed and they'd have less of a platform#instead you decided to make the internet a miserable place for all of us (AND YOURSELVES) for like two straight years#and most of you would do it again in a heartbeat#yet you wonder why so few people are still creating fanworks for your faves
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[ID: A collection of black and white sketches showing everyday objects that are haunted by little creatures. These creatures fill in gaps with black space and white dots for eyes /End ID]
As some of you might’ve seen: I’m no longer posting art on Twitter, so Tumblr is now the only social media I’ll be consistently posting art to. However: I’ll also be posting it to my website and possibly other social media platforms in the future.
I also post monthly sketch pages to my Patreon (April’s is on this post) with early access for Patrons, and I’m hoping to add more things to it soon!
Thanks everyone for your support (your tags mean a lot to me!) and I’ve put more of my thoughts in the tags.
#monsters#sketch#Patreon#Putting my thoughts here rather than in a read more so people don’t have to see it a lot:#Went on a vacation at the start of July and realised I’ve been ridiculously burnt out and didn’t realise#The stress of *trying* to have something ready for social media every other day was exhausting#I’m not the fastest artist out there so it takes time! I was really pushing out quick things#not progressing as an artist since I wasn’t practicing besides trying to be faster#So I’m shifting gears more now and doing things that aren’t art as hobbies#Learnt to make my website! Want to keep developing it too and making layouts for other people#Learning auslan (Aussie sign language) and having an amazing time!#mostly getting back into education since I really love learning things#haven’t been in a class for years and it’s been a big boost to my mental health#still have financial worries but not as badly now thankfully#Anyway I’ll probably be posting less art until I figure out what works for me#though less art is better than the NONE that happens when I’m exhausted and having a bad time#Hopefully I’ll start to really enjoy the process again and start getting more ideas#(ideas are so hard to come up with!)
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I feel bad for all the guard on Alderaan. They’re dying trying to get Fox still and out of the way and he’s like leading the charge of his brothers against HIS OWN ASSASSINS. Like bro, that’s OUR job. YOU ARE GOJNG TO DIE- PUT THAT DOWN
They're so stressed. Fox being capable should make them less stressed, because they would know that he knows how to take care of himself, but unfortunately this translates to Fox throwing himself at the problems instead. At points, Fox tries to protect them when there is a threat. It takes a while for him to get out of the Commander mindset, so that he is not at all times leading the people he is with. I mean, he is, but like. he's not supposed to be at the front like that anymore.
(At some point, they just let him have a blaster at all times. it's somehow better that way)
#if we're being less funny it has also a lot to do with the fact that Fox's self-esteem is. not that great#for a really long time even after the war ending#he just fundamentally has difficulties comprehending that his life is not less valuable#he also probably thinks he doesn't need therapy because he had it good compared to his brothers but#every single one of them has been fucked over mentally from the moment they were brought into the galaxy#anyway Fox's bodyguards do still like him a lot#even if he stresses them out#he's cool!
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it's been awhile since i was in any production i forgor how much of it - esp when you're close to the end - is just. doing the same things over and over again. maybe changing outfits sometimes. Man
#show in 8 days let's go.........a#tbh we only just reached the 'do the exact same things over and over' stage now#and even still experimenting here and there lmao 😭#so ig it's at least fresh :P#did i tell y'all that my role got bigger? thankfully no script and i think it's p fun but since it's all movement i worry that i'll stumble.#or drop my stuff. which is fine at certain points but not all of them. i hope for the best tho 🥺#i'm generally approaching it in good vibes lately i noticed 😳#possibly bc. we usually have 2 directors but now we're working exclusively with one and she is wayyyy more chill#(well. more anxious. but she never gets angry or loud and she goes along with what we ask n such)#(ironically it used to be that i always ditched on one of her days but now i feel less stressed abt them. so it's fine now 🫡)#(starting to suspect that a lot of my anxiety is actually related to the other director but that's smth to unpack later.)#anyway ignore my rambling i need to sleep but also ehhhhhhhhhh my phone time in bed.....😔💔
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.
I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.
Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.
So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.
I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.
But. I suppose we're going somewhere.
#personal#last week i cried twice after a workday#and my nurse also mentioned today that i still have a learning disability which will definitely make things harder for me#but also that there's nothing that can be done about it so... great#so i mentioned this to my teacher and she wrote it down but#basically there are only two choices for me now#either i pass this training somehow and plan my displays at my current workplace so well that i never have to do this again#or i will only complete my training for this period and then find another workplace and do my displays there#i can't postpone them much later apparently or so i understood. so they are not giving a lot of choices there really#and we did talk about me considering another school as well#where i can spend more time in the classroom actually learning things and less time working and trying to study at the same time#because this clearly isn't working for me. i can't do two things at the same time. not well at least. and i want to do well#but i tried applying for that kind of school in this field last summer. i didn't get in & i was 8th in line#i would've gotten in working with kids instead. but that school was further away and i probably would've found it even more stressful#than what i'm doing now#so i don't know. this is so fucking stressful for me honestly#like i like what i'm doing but i also really hate what i'm doing because this also requires stuff from me that i am simply not good at#and i'd have to put extra energy into it but i don't have much energy in me right now tbh#ugh
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*uncontrollable guttural screaming intensifies*
#need to write a story or perhaps an academic work. to cleanse my brain#I'm sure part of this is just that I have less than a week before I leave and so even though cosnciously#I don't feel very stressed about it... it's still a subconscious stressor yknow???#I've been trying to do matcha in the mornings instead of coffee first thing and I do feel a bit better doing that#the only effect caffeine has ever had in me is The Anxieties TM so like. I still drink lots of coffee#but opening the day with Gentler caffeine is nice. also apparently green tea is good for ye Olde brain so yeah#anyway :')
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i like writing young fire lord zuko because he's still grappling with his identity and he's still in the trenches of his trauma and unlearning the harm done to him and the harm he's done. and something i think is so important for someone who is going through that is that it's not just BAM he's redeemed and he's changing everything for the better and it's perfect. i think it's just as important to highlight zuko's conflict with trying not to Be Like Ozai as it is for people to be wary of zuko because He Is Zuko. like i think he's struggling both with taking up his father's horrible mantle but also with the name he's created for himself. because not only is it "zuko is a victim and he's trying to heal" but it's also "zuko was horrible and he has to reconcile that side of himself with who he wants to be going forward" and that's not easy
#something people often get wrong with zuko in fandom/fics/etc is that like.#he saved katara's life. he's doing great now!!!!!#but he's still? got so many issues and those aren't going away overnight#i wrote a meme where zuko was stressed about coming across as this horrible shadow of his father#'if i give this order will my soldiers think i'm mean and nasty just like ozai????'#the problem is that his soldiers aren't even thinking about ozai (mostly). they're thinking about ZUKO and what he's LITERALLY already done#i don't want to erase the harm zuko's done just as much as i don't want to erase how he's handling coming to terms with the harm done to hi#if this makes sense? am i making sense? KJNSKTRJNHKJSNRTH#like YES poor zuko but also. zuko's got A LOT of reparations of his own to take care of#and he's going to have bad days and he's going to have his little temper tantrums and he's going to lash out#because that's all part of that piece inside of him that's always going to be that hurt teenage boy who longs for his father's love!!#it doesn't make him less worthy of his redemption. it just gives him more nuance#i love him i LOVE him. my sad angry hurting little fire hazard </3
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Do they match eachothers freak
#dumping art on here because its been a while#nothing is happening in the last one i swear#capson or caps is my pokemon insert/oc they are a grass type trainer that really really likes partying and caring for the environment#they have a scovillain which is VERY spoiled#and sometimes it bites gios legs#still don't know exactly how they met giovanni tbh. I reckon they went to kanto on a trip to challenge all gym leaders to get stronger#was really really pissed off at team rocket and really wanted to help take them down.#all that fell apart challenging the viridian city gym#there was INSTANT tension and chemistry oughh#and capson is way too easily flustered. they make out theyre super chill and confident#gios voice alone drove them insane#which led to a lot of conflicting feelings between the two of them#capson being a huge do gooder and giovanni being well. Evil#but Capson was kinda into it#and i reckon they had an on and off sorta relationship until giovanni focused less on team rocket not fully disbanding it but it was more#in the background for him#and giovanni totally had all his focus on capson#especially with Capson walking around his office and being overly affectionate all the time#made it hard for gio to concentrate because he was just like nfnfjfjfhdjfjfjgj i love this little idiot#but sometimes i think about capson becoming a team rocket grunt#and meeting gio that way#capson having a rough start in life and struggling financially led them to join team rocket#it wasnt meant to last long#they were still challenging gyms and things on the side#but them and giovanni could Not keep their hands off eachother#they both fell so in love#and giovanni splashes so much money on capson they dont even have to stress about anything ever again#oc x canon#self ship
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thinking about law school and im so excited to be back in an academic environment
#mine#im applying for 2025 fall sessions !!!!!#i dont think ill get into any of the best schools or the ones i want tbh but wherever i go im ready to study again#also to have a part time job instead of full time#“dont work in your first year of law school its overwhelming blah blah blah” have u considered im poor#my electricity bill went up 300% this month and i couldnt even afford to buy pads#they had to put me on a month union fee waiver too#companies are so mf greedy#whatever happens even tho ill be overwhelmed there is no future for me in which i am not working#i took a month off in between jobs and this is the thing i regret the most in my life#it was so expensive#and i didnt even do well on the lsat tho i studied everyday so it was basically a waste#“oh but you got to rest” no i didnt actually i was stressed af everyday and not getting any money#whats worse is my new job ive been working a month almost and still i wont get paid until mid november#im pinching pennies at this point#in debt bc of pads#now thats $14 i already didnt have but have even less#didnt realize my life would be a living example of why capitalism is bad#like i hear all these stories#didnt know that would be me#even tho ive struggled a lot in my life#but living on my own ive never done financially well#also was born in poverty which is great#my family had some money as i grew up tho so i experienced some comforts#i think im a weird person#rant in the tags
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