#least i have therapy next week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

switchytransboy · 1 year ago

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december sucks for me this year yo

i couldn’t make it down south with my parents to be there to meet my new niece and nephew after being born, but it’s for the best anyway bc i tested positive for covid due to a coworker not giving a fuck about others catching it, and i’d feel WORSE if i was with the newborn twins while i had covid

so bc i couldn’t travel down there, im alone in my house for like 2 weeks, then the day my parents come home is the same day i leave my house to go be alone at another house to dogsit

halo is busy with family things the majority of this month so can’t hang as much, and now me having covid soiled plans of spending this weekend together 🙃

so i’m just.. alone. for weeks. away from my family where i’m constantly wishing i could be bc i feel so left out and sad, alone for most of hanukkah, alone for xmas, alone for it all.

just sucks

#vent #covid probably making me feel worse emotionally too since i’m so sluggish mentally it’s weird #like i never felt this kinda weird foggy sluggish way it’s different #i barely feel sick tbh #i just feel enough physical symptoms for it to still suck #and the rest is just such a lack of energy and spoons #like way more so than usual #covid is weird yo #and december this year sucks #least i have therapy next week #the only positive rn is the twins being born and everyone healthy and i’m so happy for that #but so sad about the rest of the month tbh

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petrichorpaws · 6 months ago

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sleppy

#i hurt my back over a week ago and after x rays found out I have a variety of issues so yay #mri will be next along with physical therapy but I did NOT need this with my major foot surgery coming up in a month from now #easy long lead walks have been our best option since I can’t risk a loose dog or another angry cat coming up on us in the neighborhood #everything hurts but at least they’re cute #kaloo #idi #nala #calico cat

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roaringroa · 2 months ago

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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end

#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask #december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery #and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc #and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh #every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night #oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes #and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester #and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu #oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well #and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also #pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc #so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal #honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know #like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc #but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated #also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm #is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is #incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship #so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year #at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately #i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new #my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper #and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been #like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare #idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling #and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa

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daily-whistlepaw · 8 months ago

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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167

I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it

#warrior cats #whistlepaw #windclan #medicine cat apprentice #this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night #but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning #man it was not fun #(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about #being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me #annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help #either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra #I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off #and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué #I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain #and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess #I might have to eventually but I don't wanna #anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!

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e77y · 3 months ago

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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

#vent #<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill #but also :( sad #I miss my family and friends at home #I haven’t really talked to my roommates #including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days #and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot #I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed #but the main thing is #I FEEL LIKE A BABY #my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless #I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine #and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can #but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything #I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff #so we are not completely doomed lol #also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries #and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly #bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money #so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point #I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two #and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver

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moodr1ng · 1 month ago

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waiting for my post-op appointment except i was super early (bc i have to come by train so i cant rly time my arrival any closer) + my doctor is 15 minutes late already + i have a headache and feel sick ever since i took the train so basically im dyingggg and this appointment better be useful or i will kms if i did all that just to get told that i just have to keep changing bandages and ill be fine

#97 #i agreed to come to this appointment (bc theres another one next week too) bc i have a bit of a scarring issue #and i wanted to make sure it doesnt need like. more stitches or something #so if he just does nothing and i essentially couldve just not come and put myself thru all this..#i will die #also need him to move the next appointment by a day or something cause it falls RIGHT on my group therapy day #and ive already missed two sessions bc of this surgery #interestingly hoping that the appointment is useful ends up making it so either way is good news lol.#like if the problem isnt a big deal then thats still good. and if it is an actual problem then at least i didnt come here for no reason..

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adhdphilosopher · 27 days ago

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im so full of anger every day that it makes it hard to function. what do i do

#blah blah blah #i generally try to not tamp down my thoughts and feelings but at what point is it 'being open' and at what point is it 'stewing'#i miss doing therapy but my medicaid doesnt cover psychiatric care #and my workplace is likely to schedule me back down at 20h/week once our new manager begins here #im so mad . he starts next week but idk if that means sunday (tomorrow) or monday #and why was only next week's schedule posted. why not the whole month #i have another job trying to schedule me and that one is easier to move around than the main one #full timers work 30h or more #and ive been working at least 35 every week for the past month since weve not had a manager #i want healthcare #i know im in a privileged position where i can even try to demand these things #but i am worried about the nextg year bc i dont know what my hours will look like yet #so i can't reliably predict my income for the year to select my own plan through the state service??#luckily open enrollment is nov and dec and it's only the start of nov now #i don't have a third recommender for phd programs so i can't fully submit those applications yet #im just so full of anger i feel unable to move #and the anger is of course about the odd time trying to balance my two part time jobs and rent and health #but it's also about! gestures at the globe full of things happening!#i am immobilized by anger and it's putting a big strain on my relationship with my partner and my family!#i don't know that going back to therapy would fix these things but if i could at least have a person to talk to once a week #specifically dedicated to talking about Problems #idk #maybe it would lessen the amount im dumping on everyone else #it feels so privileged and selfish and evil of me to have desires and feeling like i am the world's center of evil isnt helping anyone #pursuing a phd wouldnt be helping anyone #being unable to move for how full of emotions i am isnt helping anyone #maybe i should just . remembers suicide jokes are bad etc. join the circus

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sleevebuscemii · 9 months ago

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#i hate how wishy washy my social life is in this city like.#like everything has to be Planned and is a Thing and it’s like. i don’t want to go to a fancy group dinner #or get invited to a birthday party #i just want someone who will go to target with me #or come over and keep me company while i do laundry and then get tacos after like.#something that Actually feels intimate…idk #but now its like. i either go to this fancy dinner with a big group (who are mostly couples) and at least have something to do today #or. i spend my saturday alone.#like even the friends i have 1 on 1 its like. plans have to be made in advance if we wanna go get coffee or something #like nothing is just. spontaneous and casual its alk a Thing #but also like fuck. i just spent whole week at work alone i don’t wanna be alone in my weekend too like fuuuuuck this #and its like. i can’t help but feel like its my fault but i know its been hard because i work remote so im so fucking isolated #sometimes i think i should just move home but i know thatll just make me feel like i failed #at like. moving to a big city and making it work #but also i know its not just me like lonely city by olivia laing blah blah blah but goddddddd #i am a social creature!!!! i want to be around people!!!!! but in a meaningful and fulfilling way!!!!!!!#anyway thats my therapy session for today see u next time #m

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captorcorp · 10 months ago

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ough i want to call out sick today bc it's another 'waking up with brain soup' day + some congestion but i already called out 10 days ago and have been taking an average 2 sick days a month... where we only get 15 a year...

#i have pto too but dont want to use that for sick time yknow #just feel bad bc like. i am trying to work but feels like my brain and body shuts off some days #idk at least i start therapy again next week so if it is a mental problem they can help me w that maybe #kcat talks #plus i mean. the strike. would be a good timing but oof i searched posts from me in the ops channel and like 70% of them are me calling out #+ i have to mentor someone today and we already have a meeting scheduled later; could reschedule for tomorrow though

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variksel · 9 months ago

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i feel like im talking way too much about my broken leg rn (which Is Broken Bee Tee Dubs xoxo) and its prolly annoying but my friends i cant help it i can almost start walking again and every time i think about it i genuinely kinda feel like crying lmao

#by my calculations im like. 5 weeks post surgery #which would mean next weeks physical therapy might mean letting me walk at least a little bit again #im genuinly a bit weepy about it im so fucking exhausted man! its been since the end of january!!#i have a list of things i wanna do when i can walk again man lmao every time i grab my sticks im like a few more weeks just a bit longer #vent ig sorry!#anyway @ anyone whos ever had a broken bone did yall feel the same??? like legit so anxious to get back to using ur limb???#i had a broken wrist awhile back too and idk i feel like it wasnt nearly this bad but a broken ankle feels like. thats just My Existance #for the past 2 months #anyway!#vent #positive vent #broken bone #broken ankle #tw broken bones #tw injury

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threefuckencrowsinaleatherjacket · 1 year ago

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Is it mental illness or neurodivergence when I get stuck only ever watching the same shows bc they’re the only ones I can find interesting and I can barely start new shows bc I don’t know how they end

#I know the Hellsite is not the place to ask #but I don’t have therapy next week and I need advice #it’s also 2am and I can’t sleep bc I’m in a tiny hotel room with 3 other ppl #also I love my therapist (I’ll post some stories ab her eventually) but #she refuses to diagnose me w anything #or even refer me to a psychiatrist who could #which pisses me off bc if I’m gonna be this fucked up #you could at least label it for me #anxiety #adhd #depression

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regular-lord-reckoner · 2 years ago

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well, after a lot of crying and procrastinating and getting my anxiety ramped all the way up i finally emailed a potential therapist so that’s at least one thing i can check off my list :’)

#i dunno why that felt so goddamn hard to do but boy oh boy did it!!!#had to pull up templates of 'how to send an email to a therapist' as well as the email i sent to another one awhile back #and even then i still went through about a million drafts all to just basically be like #'hey i'm looking to start therapy can i schedule an appointment or consultation with you?'#like why was that so hard????#but at least it's done #feel like i haven't gotten much else done that i've meant to but that was a big one so i'm going to try to de-stress #even though i've still got several hours of work left but i'm going to try to take it easy #anything i can't get done today is just going to have to wait until next week #and then after next week it's not my fucking problem because i will be on pto #so...suck on that #:P #anyway my brain has completely stopped working now so bye!!

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captain-noir · 2 years ago

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just got off a conference call with the fam and by fam i mean cousins and grandparents and great uncles all coz my baby sister (22) rang my mother up, in tears coz her bitch ass manager yelled at her in front of customers. murder was plotted. an entire smear campaign was launched. doxxing was considered. my brother is on his way to the shop with the intention to get her fired. madness. literally spent the last hour of my work in the toilet trying to talk various family members off the ledge.

#yaz chats to the void #with the way theyre carrying on they will shut down the store #granted this is her first ever work experience -shes spoiled rotten but its workplace harrassment.#my first reaction was to hop on the bus and have a scrap thanks to a lifetime of intimidating would be bullies when they tried my siblings #but she's 22 now and she has to fight her own battles lmaooo #i told her to wage psychological warfare but my mum has ideas about going in as a customer and being an absolute nightmare to the bitch #grandma wants her out of the job - she's only had it for two weeks - and says she will pay for whatever she needs #once i moved past the initial 'fight maim or kill' instinct i had to sit with the fact that we coddled her so much #and that my family is insane.#at least no one's chasing down folks with a cleaver #or running someone over with a car #or threatening to poison someone #omg #omg omg omg #this is bringing back so much stuff #growing up i thought it was normal.... so many dodgy and straight up illegal shit my family would pull #in retaliation for any and all slights #perceived or otherwise #i know what i need to tackle next in therapy

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dreamingalto · 10 months ago

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If I had a nickle for everytime in the past three months my therapist told me they were leaving, I'd have two nickles. Which isnt a lot but its weird that its happened twice right?

#therapy #its slightly humorous #i mean at least I know my options and the process I have with my current therapist leaving and next week being our last session...

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dragqueenpentheus · 2 years ago

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every time a girl compliments me i turn into a babbiling mess and always forget to comliment her back and i reret it for literal months afterwards and im just

#SHE SAID I WAS CUTE!!!!!! IM GUNNA BE ANXIUS FOR THIRTY YEARS #or at least until i force my doctor to give me tranquilaizers for anxiety meds #irl #personal #fingers crossed i have an appointment next week #god and finally get to have therapy tomorrow too its been a month and ya boy is. struggiling. having problems.

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cushfuddled · 2 years ago

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Hahaaaaaaaa I think I’ve been in survival mode for so long that my brain doesn’t know how to function outside of it anymore ??????

#day two of not having to worry about the book for the first time in like three years #glad I’ve got a therapy appointment lined up for next week #the good thing is I was able to anticipate this reaction because at least it’s a pattern for me #where every time I finish a big project my brain sees the suddenly Available time and goes #‘ah! time to finally have that breakdown we’ve been putting off for later’#gonna just…try to be gentle with myself as my brain flings itself against the walls of my skull in confusion and inexplicable angst #vent #Rab rambles

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