#last post of the year! see ya in 2018

[satorugojjo]

I don’t think there’s a single book BookTok has promoted in the last couple years that’s turned out to be an actually good “you cannot miss this read” which now makes me and so many others I know avoid it as a whole.

A lot of BookTok books seem to be specific for very young or very new readers who haven’t cut their teeth on fanfic or haven’t been reading from a young age. The writing style is either a really profound Instagram metaphorical caption kinda overwrought and over flowery language, or it’s trying so hard to be edgy and sardonic and ends up being completely tell and almost zero show. This Is How You Lose The Time War is a PERFECT example of this - where the flowery and poetic language actually takes AWAY from a scene and distracts you from it rather than adding anything to it in the moment, and for those who do like poetic fiction this will be up their alley but if you don’t and you pick it up because of badly marketed hype when you normally wouldn’t, it’s gonna turn you off reading in general!

There’s nothing wrong with starter fiction to help get readers engaged and then find their way into actually good books, but my gripe is that it’s never ever marketed as that and as if it it’s just generically good fiction. Nothing Colleen Hoover has ever written is objectively good - the writing style is mediocre and she romanticises taboo topics which will seem spicy to the average population who doesn’t READ. And yet she takes up every bookshelf which I promise you will end up turning many readers who ARENT on booktok away from reading altogether.

YA is another genre that has declined a lot in recent years because it’s full of marketers trying to fit all the buzzword tropes into their books and getting young readers to buy it because it’s “enemies to lovers pirate cyberpunk found family” or whatever - and it feels more like focus group fiction rather than actual writing. I LOVE YA but nothing that’s been released post 2020 has had any depth, plot, character development or any style to it.

A great example is Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros - i tried reading 2 chapters as a sample and it was shocking to see how illogical, overdramatic, overedgy and exceptionally “this happened then this then this then that” it was. There was absolutely zero nuance and it felt so “I’m telling you all this but I’m not gonna prove any of it”. And yet it’s rated either 5 stars or 1 star. I’m sure it’s a great starter middle grade/teen book but it is definitely not deserving to be on the same pedestal as other YA books like Hunger Games or Six of Crows. I used to think that perhaps I’ve just outgrown YA but considering I can pick up YA from 2018 that I haven’t read before with no problems, it’s so specific to BOOKTOK YA.

It’s getting to the point that if I see a book that’s being overpromoted on tiktok, I’m more likely to believe the bad reviews because there hasn’t been a SINGLE book where I’ve disagreed with them, and then go find a different book in the same genre that hasn’t been on booktok - it’s getting hilarious actually that the books that are actually incredible get zero screen time and traction on booktok because they aren’t just cheap easy airport reads. Once again - nothing wrong with an easy airport CH book or YA book, but we aren’t going around parading a Lee Child book as peak literature no matter how enjoyable they are.

I don’t even have a conclusion to this entire rant - I’m sick of books like Babel getting steamrolled because it was “too sad or too hard” in favour of the latest SJM book, and getting even more sick of the decline of media literacy due to books getting easier and more spoonfeedy. When they aren’t? They mistake flowery metaphors for complexity and depth.

[asherlockstudy]

Hey I just saw your post about the 40th anniversary for Rhett and Link where you mentioned they had made RULeS for their friendship!! I’ve always loved them but I haven’t seen all their stuff and don’t know much (I’m learning eagerly lmao) but I would love love love more information on that!! I can’t help but feel bad for link too cuz through your post and others I’ve seen it does seem kinda like Rhett has been controlling/ banking over links abandonment issues especially in the past. I kinda see it through their regular videos too that Rhett seems to have more confidence or at least projects an attitude of confidence and “coolness” almost even lording it over Link at times (but I’m not sure if I’m projecting) I still love them both and acknowledge relationships are complicated obviously but a few times in random compilation clips I’ve seen Rhett talking about being Links only friend and having friends that don’t like link and the crew as a whole being annoyed by Link, which sure I understand that’s their go-to dynamic and it’s entertaining and part of why I love to watch them but the jokes about a link not having friends feels too real so of course my over active mind starts running from there and theorizing. Plus it sounded to me like the rules for their friendship weren’t what link wanted and they feel like aghhh ya know! I’m captivated dude I would love to know more.

ANON MAIL PART 2:

I just sent the last ask but I remembered that podcast where Link talks about sending Rhett THE email saying he didn’t want to pretend anymore if they weren’t gonna be real friends, I assume this was the time in which they had rules over their friendship, he even mentioned he got his wife to read over it and support him on it so it sounds like it was a very intense decision for him to even voice his opinion to Rhett like whaaaaa first of all, a little weird, and then Rhett admits freely on the podcast— I think he was the one to bring it all up in the first place — that he regrets that he basically just defended himself to link instead of actually acknowledging what he needed. This was a very short segment of a howee Mandel- idk how to spell that butches name lmao—podcast and they didn’t talk about it a lot so if there’s other ones where they have talked about it that you know of lmk g, but it’s just so sad to me that Link put so much into pouring his heart out to Rhett, basically threatening to end it all cuz he was super serious about it, only for Rhett to defend himself to Link and not take him as seriously or compassionately as he should have AND Link just let it go and found a way to compromise anyways even while Rhett didn’t HEAR him or understand him, he still just kept being Rhett’s friend. And then for Rhett to apologize YEARS later is like bittersweet first of all and then for Rhett to just casually bring it up in a podcast— which Link didn’t seem super happy abt btw. Idk it just rubbed me a little raw tbh but also hooked me in uggggh. This may just be my mind turning link into a new lil meow meow ya know 😂😂 but I would be holding a grudge over that if it was me

Hello and sorry for the super late answer! I have been very busy and have fallen behind with all the mail.

First of all, my speculation is the same; that the phase when they imposed rules on their friendship was some time before Link eventually had enough and sent that email. I agree with how you feel but at least Rhett at some point realised he did not handle the matter properly. Better than nothing I guess. I am not very good at remembering the sources when years have passed, I suppose the rules are mentioned at some point in an EB of late 2017 - early 2018. As for the email, they have mentioned the situation quite a lot of times, in fact I believe the Howee Mandel (<- I don't remember the name either lol) was the first or one of the first times they mentioned it but it is for sure the most detailed and telling one. So even if you don't find the other times, you technically aren't missing something.

I am very tired of this dynamic of Link always being the butt of the joke, the unwanted one, the annoying one. I don't think he has been painted as friendless outside of his friendship with Rhett though, because he speaks often about his other friends, his dads from school club and several others. Actually he mentions friends and going to social events more than Rhett. Rhett has only said Link did not have other friends besides Rhett in their early childhood. Rhett would often go and play with other kids but he had in the back of his mind that Link would be in his house all alone with his toys feeling lonely. That was relatively true when they were kids but then in puberty they had the same friend group, girlfriends and then in adulthood Link developed an assertive personality whereas Rhett sort of withdrew to himself. Real life Rhett is not as confident and outspoken and sociable as he is in their content. Link is often the one dealing with the issues that need "assertiveness" in their company while Rhett deals with the creative part more. To be honest, I think Link is genuinely the least likeable of the two for the majority of the employees but this is not because he is silly or friendless or annoying but because he is visibly the tough boss between the two (like, the bad cop). I am 99% confident that Rhett and Link have the exact same demands and expectations from their employees, however Rhett is less likely to voice them or get impatient because he is always SO worried about how he will be perceived and what the employees will think of him and what reputation he will have then.

Lately I feel like Link is giving up on his interest or assertiveness in a lot of things Mythical though and I have a guess why, however that's a whole story for another post...

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 36: THE GAME OF HOPE (2018)

1. The Introduction

Well, hello there, Citizens and Neighbors! I’m alive and back with a review, as promised. (Very happy about it too because I missed you!)

Now, to cut to the chase, @josefavomjaaga was the first person who told me about the novel’s existence, which had me a bit intrigued already due to my constant search for new media to consume and review.

However, my dear friend @tairin helped seal the deal and officially put this particular piece onto my review bucket list, as a physical copy of the book (in Russian) was her present for my birthday last year. I read the book back then but, due to all the other reviews and personal life stuff, kept putting away this particular review.

Fortunately, I finally found free time to catch up on the piece and post it, so here we go.

Before we proceed, here’s a link for anyone who wants to download the book in English. As mentioned, it’s available in Russian too, but Russian-speaking members of my audience will need to purchase the epub or a physical copy to be able to read it. I’m not sure if it’s available in any other languages.

Also, this review is dedicated to @josefavomjaaga , @tairin and @frevandrest ! Okay, let’s. Fucking. Begin.

2. The Summary

“The Game of Hope” tells the story of Hortense de Beauharnais, Napoleon’s stepdaughter, and her coming of age journey, including crushes, rivalries, and her life at Madame Campan’s boarding school for girls.

Although I loathe Hortense with a passion, review material is review material and I was still intrigued by the premise, so let’s see how this premise plays out in the book!

3. The Story

Generally, I enjoy coming of age stories and YA novels and, luckily, this one is no exception. It is melodramatic, but it’s justified because Hortense is a teenager and a dramatic person, so her POV having melodrama is expected.

It’s a slice of life kind of story and most political events happen in the background but still realistically affect the characters, which is realistic and very neat!

Also, this is by far the only book where anti-Frev sentiments don’t give me an urge to flip the fuck out, since Hortense lost her father and almost lost her mother during Frev and is far too naive and young to understand politics! Of course she will think Frev is evil and of course she will believe that being noble would be enough to have her executed!

The pacing is great too. There are some time skips but the author clearly knew when to do them and when to slow down. Now complaints here.

If you are craving a story with typical teenage melodrama involving historical figures, then I guess it’s a book for you.

4. The Characters

I don’t like Hortense as a person here, but as a character she’s realistic and nuanced. She has the selfish and bratty nature that would stick way into adulthood, but she genuinely loves Eugene and her friends at the boarding school. Also her resentment towards her stepfather and the Bonaparte siblings is quite realistic, as from her point of view they’re just asses towards her mother for no reason.

Caroline Bonaparte starts off as a rude bitch (also thanks to Hortense incorporating her own bias), but luckily she becomes more and more nuanced along the way and becomes sort of a frenemy to Hortense. Caroline clearly doesn’t enjoy studying under Madame Campan and wants out of there. Perhaps due to my bias, or because we don’t see her POV, Caroline grew on me more than Hortense.

Eugene (I HAVE to mention him) appears later on in the story and, as expected, is an absolute cinnamon roll.

Josephine is idealized in the story by Hortense, but she isn’t flawless and keeps trying to find Hortense a husband in the beginning. However, she also helps Caroline and Joachim marry, which makes their treatment of her later on a fucking dick move.

Émilie, Hortense’s cousin and close friend, is slightly older and already married (not that unheard of back then), but is still a teenager going through the typical motions common for that age. She is more mature than Hortense and feels trapped in a loveless marriage with Captain Lavalette (no idea who that is).

Campan is very strict but genuinely cares about her students. I liked the part where she has The Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen attached to the back of a portrait of Marie-Antoinette and flips the portrait when inspection arrives. Simple, but quite clever!

5. The Setting

No complaints here! Gorgeous descriptions that are very much historically accurate, and Hortense’s POV is conveyed masterfully, which aids the story greatly.

6. The Writing

Simple yet beautiful, without diving too much into purple prose territory and doesn’t shy away from mentioning or implying normal things like periods or sex. I can sense some pearl clutching might happen, but personally I think these topics should be normalized so I don’t complain. Also, my copy graciously included translations of Italian phrases, which is doubly awesome!

7. The Conclusion

Overall, an excellent, overall accurate and believable story! I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about Hortense or just looking for a Frev/Napoleonic coming of age story without too much action.

Alright, on this note, I’m concluding today’s meeting of Jacobin Fiction Convention. Stay tuned for updates, guys!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[liampaynemysteriousdeath]

if you don’t mind my asking , has your opinion changed on Kate since she was at his funeral ? Harry hugged her too.

apparently it's not kate he was huggjng? Possibly liams sisters?

edit 2: https://www.instagram.com/p/DCnUaCno5qh/?img_index=10&igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA==

thanks @beseeingyouinmydreams

Hello thank you for the question :) idk I mean I feel like she knows something that wedon't. Im not saying its her fault what happened. But i mean she was the last person to see liam and Roger and lulu. She has insider Info. Not sure if you've seen the unfollowing of her and Roger. And roger and lulu unfollowed each other so maybe they broke up. Who knows what is going on behind the scenes. Not sure why she still follows lulu...

And idk if you saw my 5 part post about manipulative celebrities and drugs? Its on mg master list pinned somewhere. There was a post on tattle life(shout out to the people who let me know about that) about how kate used to be a little heavier before she met liam. I'm not necessarily saying she was on drugs per say, but both her and liam did lose a decent amount of weight while together. I mean personally if I had a loved one who had addiction issues I would encourage rehab and try to help that person stay away from tempting situations. If the video of liam walking around (where lulu is in background saying do you have the drygs). It's possible kate was benefitting from the Subsstances as well. I dont think she did any substances on this trip in particular, or else maybe she would have been ended by possibly laced drygs. (Idk if you saw a comment i posted where someone said they lived in buenos aires and would not trust anysubstances or liquor and to sleep with one eye open at those types of hitels). Who knows for sure though.

Idk if the $18 thing is true. The thing is maya I'm sure is lurking at all the social media. It's possible maya could have leaked the screenshot(?) I'm not saying she did, I'm saying that there's so many people involved with the situation that it's hard to know who is 100% telling the truth. I heard rumors that rebnik tiktok had mutual friend of liams? So it's possible those screenshots are true.

As far as Harry, idk if hes up to date on everything concerning liam? I mean he has his hectic schedule to deal with ya know? But i know for a fact he used to have 2 tumblrs back in day. Zayn had 2, and liam had 1, idr if I ever found liams username though. It's been years so it's hard for me to remember everything lol.

I know harry would reblog some stuff about 1d back in the day. Around 2018 if I remember correctly. He reblogged a dylan o brien post of him doing harry styles impression, and other stuff.

Im almost positive Zayn has an lsa account with the timing of when he signed up. And i know zayn can only view Twitter through his laptop, because the notifications will crash his phone haha. Someone who was close to him mentioned that.

If you wanna Know more dm me because I'll keep talking and go on a tangent and veer off subject haha

My point is with social media, anyone can see anything and try to research for themselves on the liam siatuation. If harry wants to know, then I'm sure he will find a way to know. Maybe as of now he is not aware of the kate situation (if rumors are true about her). But harry was raised as a gentleman so of course he would be polite to her.

Edit: I'm not saying the other ones aren't gentleman. Just wanted to clarify lol. It's hard to convey emotion through text.

[foliejpg]

sage @puppyboymikeyway submitted a bunch of fob asks from this post so here ya go <3 putting it under a read more bc its a novel 😭

tttyg

dead on arrival: which of andy's haircuts is your favorite?

honestly i liked when he had the short bob and it was straight. he looked more like a lesbian then than usual

grand theft autumn: which was the first fall out boy song you heard and liked?

actually its this song 😭 i remember hearing it in a hot topic when i was around 15-16 and going home to look up the lyrics on my computer, then listening to every album straight through from tttyg to srar straight through in order lol srar had just come out

saturday: best concert you've attended?

my first fob show is special to me bc i got m&g tickets, so is the albany show this past march bc i got to meet them again with my boyfriend and a bunch of friends<333 but the best concert that the artist has put on i mean. i have to come clean i am a bit of a swiftie and the eras tour was crazy 😭 and fenway last year during tourdust because patrick did wams during the medley just for me<333 that's My Song

the pros and cons of breathing: do you own any fall out boy albums on cd or vinyl?

yes! here's a picture because there's a lot 💀 not pictured is the we didn't start the fire 7" because its so tiny i didn't see it until after i took the picture lmao

grenade jumper: trohmania or bass spin?

i gotta go with the bass spin sorry joe<3

the patron saints of liars and fakes: last big regret?

i wish i went to the madison square garden show in march but i couldn't afford the tickets</3

cork tree

our lawyer: worst fob rumor you've heard?

i can't really think of one? all i can think of is that one interview where patrick says the worst one he heard was that he was actually 31 and not 21

nobody puts baby in the corner: favorite 80's film?

who framed roger rabbit, clue, and that's all i can think of 😭 i'm not a big movie person

sixteen candles: favorite fob mv?

young and menace, america's suitehearts, hmlag, dance dance

the music or the misery: favorite bonus track?

from now on we are enemies and my heart is the worst kind of weapon, but i like the acoustic version of the latter way more<3

my heart is the worst kind of weapon: last time you said something you regretted?

bro i can't think of anything i don't listen to myself talk 💀

ioh

this ain't a scene, its an arms race: patrick in cardigans or patrick in sweaters?

SWEATERS lemme see that fabric stretch

thnks fr th mmrs: best memory?

i have no idea lmao when i met fob idk i have a really bad memory

don't you know who i think i am?: which high school stereotype would you describe yourself with?

is "snot nosed know it all who thinks she's better than everyone else but is just sheltered and bratty" a stereotype

fame < infamy: do you like black cards?

i'm a fake fan i've never listened 💀 bebe is a queen though

folie

lullabye: opinion on 'elisa stans?'

i don't know what that means these asks are from 2018 but everyone should leave fob's family alone <3

27: favorite instrument

BASS. i love bass guitar i need to feel it in my chest

w.a.m.s. which job would you prefer, waiter/actress/model/singer?

singer bc i enjoy singing and used to be good at it lol i can't act and food service freaks me out i don't want to be responsible for other people's food and also modeling just seems awful 💀

west coast smoker: favorite 80's band?

i love the smiths and joy division bc i'm a basic emo<3

srar

where did the party go: bass lines or guitar solos?

bass lines a million times over!!!! plus sometimes guitar solos make my ears ring 😅

death valley: who would you most like to be greeted by in the afterlife?

idk my cat kayla she passed when i was like 6 she was a good girl or my cat china (my mom named her 💀) she was a good girl too. lots of good girls here

abap

irresistible: which mv was your favorite?

the original one with the basketball game they're so goofy lmao

the kids aren't alright: if you could send a message to yourself five years ago, what would it say?

run for the fucking hills girl!!!!!!!

jet pack blues: which was your favorite fall out boy era?

this one because they're all happy and healthy and living their best lives, having lots of fun on stage and being weird and interacting with fans again<333

novocaine: cause of your last time in the hospital?

uhhhhh i can't remember the last time i was in the hospital lmao

favorite record: do you collect cds or vinyls?

both! i have a lot of both lol

mania

young and menace: are you excited for the future of fall out boy?

of course<3 i hope whatever they do next is satisfying creatively for them because i would rather wait a few years for new music than have them go back to working themselves to the bone and exhausting themselves so i'm sure whatever comes next will be worth the wait, stardust certainly was<3

champion: what's your proudest moment as a fan of them?

i don't knowwww i really like the little corner of the internet i'm in with some friends and mutuals and i get a lot of asks/msgs from ppl so i like that i've made a comfy little space for ppl to talk about fob<3 does that count lol idk i'm also proud of them for like. still doing what they're doing at their age those crusty old men

wilson: if you could purchase one thing being advertised in the wilson video, what would it be?

WORKING MALE MOUTH

sunshine riptide: if you could say one thing to the band, what would it be?

i would say thank you for making art and i would also corner pete and maKe him tell me about the pool ball strike at the beginning of disloyal order he can't get away with this anymore

WHOOOO BOY okay thanks for sending all those i hope you enjoy this essay<3

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty six

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

november 5, 2018 san diego, california orion

Spending my 22nd birthday going to visit my new oncologist was not my plan. I hadn’t made much effort to make it happen, but I was hoping to just have a night out in LA with Emelia, her roommates, and some of my classmates. I already had a reservation set up at my favorite rooftop bar for ten people. 

I knew Cal had a show — Amsterdam — so I didn’t expect to get to spend it with him. I figured he’d call me after he got offstage while I was out with my friends and I’d answer, tipsy from a few too many espresso martinis, and it would be sweet and everyone with me would think it was so cute that he was so busy but still so present in our relationship.

Clearly, nothing like that is happening today. The only thing that’s the same is Emelia. She’s coming over tonight. I think my moms are getting us all Thai food and we’ll watch a movie or play a game, and I think we’ll have a bonfire, but the night is looking very differently than what I’d planned months ago. Today is the day I find out how chemo went and whether or not I get to live a little longer.

While Mama drives to the hospital, she and Mom are talking about something I stopped paying attention to a long time ago. I’m grateful both of them are coming with me to learn about my fate. My mind is just spinning and I can’t even pin down a single thought, so I find myself distracting my brain by doomscrolling on social media and reading happy birthday texts. 

From: kaykay (5sos groupies) happy birthday orion! miss ya and love ya! From: crystal (5sos groupies) baby o!!!! we miss you so so much! we’ll all be home soon and want to see your sweet face if you’ll have us. happy birthday ❤️ From: sierra (5sos groupies) sweet orion!! missing you more than ever! happiest of birthdays to the prettiest of girls ❤️

Macy tagged me in an Instagram story of a collage of pictures we have together—random chemo selfies, the night we celebrated her being cancer free, and the tour sendoff party that happened what feels like a lifetime ago. “MOST BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL EVER! LOVE YOU LONG TIME TY FOR BEING THE BEST” she wrote on top of the photo.

Emelia posted a carousel of our pictures from the past three years, including a very cringey one of us on the first day of class freshman year. We’d somehow shown up to class wearing nearly identical outfits and we decided we were destined to be friends, which was a correct assessment. The most recent one was last week at the beach, when we had a sunset picnic. “Strongest, bravest, kindest, most passionate (and stubborn) girl on the planet. Happy birthday to my soul sister. There’s no one who loves like you and I love having your love in my life. 22 is no match for you! ‘Til death, my friend.” 

Ashton has a photo of us getting gelato in Rome two years ago. I think Giuseppe took the picture, but the memory is blurry. All I remember is how divine my pistachio gelato tasted and how jealous Ash was of how much better mine was than his. In the picture, I’m happily taking a lick from mine while Ashton pouts at me, holding his cup of banana gelato that he’d hardly touched. His caption is short and sweet. “Happy birthday to the best girl I know (sorry @kaykay).”

I don’t follow him anymore, but I pull up Cal’s profile to see if he’s posted any stories or anything else today. When his profile picture indicates that he has posted a story I haven’t viewed, out of habit, I check it. Even if he checks who’s viewed it, I’ll only be one of literal thousands, so I doubt he’ll be able to see me as a viewer. He posted a picture of himself on stage last night, and today, he just took a screenshot of listening to 22 by Taylor Swift on Spotify. 

He’s saying happy birthday, even if he isn’t. 

From: paula (lavapies forever) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAV ESTADOUNIDENSE!!! love you miss you!!!  From: giuseppe (lavapies forever) oh!! happy birthday orion!!! how did I end up in this group chat….. ? From: marta (lavapies forever) feliz cumple, orion!! te echo de menos!!!  From: ilse (lavapies forever) HAPPY BDAY ORION! ❤️ From: paula (lavapies forever) giu you’re one of the girlies sorry

I haven’t texted the “5SOS groupies” back yet, and am uncertain of whether or not I will, but I do text back my former flatmates (and Giuseppe). 

To: lavapies forever muchisimas gracias!!!! miss you all!!! also, have some news for you guys From: ilse (lavapies forever) FINALLY From: paula (lavapies forever) when were you gonna tell us you guys broke up!!!!!! what happened?!?!?!? From: marta (lavapies forever) seriously! how could you not tell us?! but yes what happened we are dying to know the details From: giuseppe (lavapies forever) oh yeah fran asked if i knew anything but obviously i do not  To: lavapies forever so… its not so much that i need to tell you about the breakup? i don’t know how else to say it than to just say it so i’m just gonna say it i have leukemia so cal and i broke up i’m actually on my way to the doctor rn to see how my chemotherapy treatments went

When the group chat activity halts, I know they’re now all confused and in shock. My friends aren’t exactly known for not having something to say. I leave the WhatsApp app to give them time to process and go to my regular messages to see who else has reached out.

From: lucas Hey, O. Just popping in to say happy birthday! Sent you a Venmo—have a martini on me. Hope you’re doing okay!

Every other notification is just miscellaneous family members and a few classmates who are just as out of the loop as the general public is on what’s happening in my life. I guess I should probably share something on my social media about what’s going on. I don’t want the fans to know, but I can tell my classmates and people I actually know. I decide I’ll post something later today, once I’ve heard whatever news that the oncologist is about to share with me. 

Right when I’m locking my phone, it starts buzzing with an incoming Facetime from Paula. I tell my moms I’ll be on a call before I answer.

“Hey,” I say as her face fills my screen.

“I wish you’d told me sooner,” is how Paula starts the call. 

I frown. “It’s kinda hard to say over text. I’m sorry.”

“So call! Orion, what the hell! This is huge and I don’t know why you wouldn’t think we’d want to know!” 

I contemplate what to say next. I should be an expert at this after having to break the news Calum. “If it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell Cal until last month.” 

Paula’s mouth drops and I can tell she’s about to dwell on this instead of the actual news. “So he broke up with you?!” 

“What? No!” I sigh. “No, I broke up with him.” 

Her face contorts with confusion and she shakes her head, the idea rattling around in her brain. “You broke up with him?! Because you have cancer?!”

“Please don’t make me talk about this, Pau, it’s all anyone wants to talk about and I’m tired of it.” 

“No! We are going to talk about this! You guys are perfect together and you broke up with him in the middle of a life threatening diagnosis? What the fuck, Orion?” 

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I beg. “It’s my birthday. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow and I’ll let you know how things went today.”

She groans. “Fine, but only because it’s your birthday!” 

“Orion,” Mama says, catching my attention. “We’re here.”

I nod and look back to my phone. “¿Hablaremos mañana?”

Pau nods. “Mañana.”

Paula and I hang up then, and I tuck my phone into the pocket on my black sweatpants. We get out of the car and walk to the door of the cancer center, checking in at the desk and going to the waiting room. I feel like I’ve done all of this a million times now, but I haven’t felt this nervous about it in a long time. 

They call my name to come back, and we trudge slowly after the nurse and we sit in a sterile exam room that looks just like every other sterile exam room in the world. While we wait for the doctor to come in, my moms and I sit in silence. I don’t think anyone wants to say anything. I know I don’t.

Five minutes of waiting later and then there’s a knock on the door. My new doctor, Dr. Gupta, walks in with his clipboard and the nurse in tow. He takes a seat on the wheeled stool and moves it closer to me so that we’re only about a foot or two apart. 

“Good morning,” he says. “And, happy birthday.”

I give him a tense smile. “Thanks.” 

I had to come in last week for another biopsy and a full blood panel again to be able to assess the status of my cancer, so today is literally just to talk about the results. They also have me a full body exam to check my lymphnodes and other symptoms. Given the look on Dr. Gupta’s face from the moment he walked in, whatever he’s going to say isn’t good.

“Orion, there isn’t an easy way to say this, so I’m sorry,” he says, off to a horrible start. “The chemo hasn’t made much of a dent in the leukemia, and I’m afraid it’s progressing.” 

I look over at my moms who are clenching their jaws and squeezing each other’s hands. I’ll cry if I watch, so I look back to Dr. Gupta. 

“You have options, though. We can continue to try to find you a bone marrow donor, and there are a number of trials that are available, we’d just need to transfer you back to LA.” 

I shake my head. “I can’t go back to LA.” 

“Honey, you can go back—-“

I cut Mom off. “I’m not doing trials. I can’t. I’m sorry, but I’m not doing something else that will make me feel miserable and we don’t even know if it’s going to work. Besides, I’ll get what, maybe a year or two out of it if they do work?”

I look at Dr. Gupta to confirm, and he pulls his mouth into a slight frown. 

“There’s no guarantee on timelines or results, but, roughly, given your case, that’s what we’d be looking at.” 

“Right, and I’ll get like… a year, a few months if we just stop doing things?” 

Dr. Gupta sighs. “Again, we can’t say for certain, but roughly, yes, about a year.” 

“Yeah, I’m not doing anything. Can I go now?” I stand up, grabbing my bag. 

“Orion, at least hear about what options—“

I spin around, quickly, to face my moms. “I’m not doing anything.”

They look at me with tears in their eyes, begging me to stay and listen, but I don’t want to. 

“I want to go home. I want to live comfortably and just have time with people I care about. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to die anyway. It doesn’t even matter, and I’m not going to LA again.” 

We have a silent argument with just our eyes before they look to Dr. Gupta.

“Can we have the pamphlets on the trials? We can discuss this at home and let you know.”

Dr. Gupta quickly hands them the stack of brochures he’s had on top of his clipboard. “You don’t have to decide anything today, and please call me if you have any questions.” 

I walk out of the room then. I don’t want to dwell in there and I don’t want to dwell on what I’ve just learned. I can’t think about it. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. I just can’t spend my birthday thinking about it all. Today I’m supposed to celebrate my life, not the impending date of my death. 

—

We’re having a bonfire in the backyard with my family, Emelia, and Macy — complete with gelatin-free marshmallows and a crock pot full of mulled wine — when my phone starts going crazy. I try to ignore it and just enjoy the night with Emelia and Macy, who are listening to and respecting my wishes not to talk about the news of the day. I promise them we’ll talk about it tomorrow. 

My phone has probably buzzed twelve times in the past two minutes, and Emelia ends up taking my phone off the arm of the wooden chair I’m sitting in to look at it, apparently annoyed by all the notifications. She unlocks my phone for herself and her eyes grow wider as she looks at whatever notifications I’ve gotten.

“Jesus,” she whispers, scrolling through whatever it is. 

“What is it?” Macy asks before she takes another sip of her hot wine. 

“Um…” Em says, trailing off, still staring at my phone’s screen.

I hold my hand out for her to give me my phone back, and she pulls it further away from me, her eyes still glued to the bright screen. I can see it’s a text thread with a lot of texts from the other person.

“Give me my phone,” I instruct, holding my hand closer to her.

“It’s not good, are you sure?” 

I roll my eyes. “Em, there’s nothing worse than hearing that your chemotherapy didn’t help your terminal cancer on your birthday. I can handle whatever the hell someone texted me.” 

She sighs and hands my phone to me. “I warned you.” 

I take in what’s on my screen and feel my stomach start to churn. She’s right. It’s not good.

From: mike-o cliff-o yknow what orion, fuck you i don’t give a fuck that it’s your birthday FUCJ YOU my band, my BEST FRIENDS, aren’t speaking because you couldn’t tell the truth thos is your fault calum won’t even LOOK at ash! howrdare you you had no right to come into our lives and fuck up the one thing that matters most to all of us and then just LEAVEW do you know how depressed cxalum is he doesn’t do anything except show up on stage and drink and whineand moanmb he’s a fucking qwreck and that’s on yuo you play this innocnt sweet act that you’re jsut being kind and whatever bllshit you tell yourself but you and i both know you’re actually a shitty person what kind of person doesn’t tell their partner they have CACNDR and then BROAKS UP WITH THEM over it fuck you. i hope it’s terminal. and i hpoe it sucks.

My eyes start to water as I read through everything, but I try to remember that Michael is clearly very drunk. 

“No, he doesn’t get to make you cry on your birthday. Give me that, I’m texting a screenshot of that shit to Crystal.” Emelia holds her hand out for my phone again, but I hug it to my chest. 

“No, it’s fine. He doesn’t mean it, and he deserves to be mad.” 

“What? Who texted you?” Macy asks from my other side. I sigh and hand my phone to her so she can read it all. 

“It’s fine, he’s drunk. If that made him feel better to say that, it’s fine.” 

Emelia is fuming next to me and watching as Macy’s face gets more and more concerned while she reads what Mike sent. I don’t want to let them sway me. I don’t care what he sent. 

“Holy shit, O, that’s not okay,” Macy says while she hands me my phone. 

“It’s fine, I don’t care.”

But I do.

read next chapter

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Paramount Animation Annecy drop...

Turns out, they seem to be keen on doing animated features that aren't based on massive IP. Adapting smaller properties and such, things that didn't already get movie adaptations, truly original stories, ya know?

Projects that were in our orbit for a while, such as SUPERWORLD, got a mention. REAL PIGEONS FIGHT CRIME is still on, as is Leo Matsuda's former DreamWorks picture YOKAI SAMBA, and MUTTNIK from Ron Howard's Imagine Entertainment, but everything else announced today is new. All of those sound like they could be pretty cool. I've wanted to see Matsuda take on a picture after doing the Disney Animation short INNER WORKINGS, whose design and style were unique to a lot of what that studio has put out over the past decade. MUTTNIK sounds great, too. I'm a sucker for a fun space adventure, and it's about a naughty dog, so... Yeah, Paramount, please give me this one.

There's DROPZ, which Variety called an E.T.-esque adventure directed by Rob Letterman and produced by Will Ferrell and... Bad Bunny, of all people. Paramount Animation/Nickelodeon Animation head Ramsey Naito describes it as a story "infused with fashion", a "cultural statement" for the family audience. So is this the cosmos meets apparel? What do they mean by "fashion", haha.

ONCE UPON A MOTORCYCLE DUDE looks like another trip to the "fractured fairy tale" well with a MAD MAX-esque twist, about a princess described as a "bad ass", and a "post-apocalyptic motorcycle dude" who have to take action when their kingdom is in danger. This also sounds like a lot of fun, and the first thing I thought of... For whatever reason, was the final part of the SPYRO: YEAR OF THE DRAGON level Charmed Ridge... Where the fairy princess goes off with a magician cat on a motorcycle, GREASE-style. (Hey, GREASE is a Paramount movie, too!) Only a producer is attached, so this one looks to be in the baby stages.

SWAN LAKE is also on the rails, from writer Kourtney Kang. Even though we have SWAN PRINCESS and a Barbie direct-to-video adaptation, hey, why not? What's another way they can tell this story? All we know so far is that it's "modern". Modern day or modern in attitude only?

Before we can get to those, 2025 and 2026 are filled with the sequels and franchise entries: SMURFS Again, SPONGEBOB 4, the first of those 2D AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER movies, PAW PATROL 3, and MUTANT MAYHEM 2. This is nice news after it seemed like Paramount Animation put the kibosh on more original and more risky animated films, and especially after how they quietly dumped UNDER THE BOARDWALK and THE TIGER'S APPRENTICE.

But that's the thing, when the IP wells run a bit dry, you gotta have something different waiting for you. It's been frustrating watching Paramount trip its way through trying to sustain a run of animated movies, post-DreamWorks distribution deal. After how well SPONGE OUT OF WATER did in 2015, it was false start after false start, and lots of blunders in-between. MUTANT MAYHEM was a real bright spot, though, and TRANSFORMERS ONE looks pretty fun. They screened the whole thing at the festival to pretty positive reactions, so that's nice.

If I were to guess when they could all be coming out, should they reach production...

2026-2027 I'd say would be the earliest, for a movie like SUPERWORLD or REAL PIGEONS FIGHT CRIME. YOKAI SAMBA, too, since that was on the boards at DreamWorks as far back... As like, 2018? I expect those three to be out first. DROPZ sometime thereafter.

Then 2028 and beyond for the rest, the films that don't have directors attached. MUTTNIK, MOTORCYCLE DUDE, and SWAN LAKE...

We shall see, but this line-up is great, has some really cool talent involved, and it'll be nice to see this stuff balance out the well-established TRANSFORMERS/NINJA TURTLES/SMURFS/AVATAR stuff.

[angesaurus]

Usually for Easter we alternate families. A long time ago we used to squeeze in both (one family would get sunday, the other would get Saturday) and back in like 2018/2019 we kind of ditched it. It’s too much you know? Especially with kids. Our parents are both in NJ - about an hour from each other. And about 90 minutes to 2 hours from our house.

What’s funny is that…. The years my mom got Easter sunday, my MIL would insist we still come for Easter Saturday. Sometimes we would come for that Thursday or Good Friday and stay over a couple nights. And then Sunday go to my moms and then go home. The years my MIL got Easter Sunday, my mom would say “have fun” and never asked or expected us to come to her house that weekend. So usually we didn’t. It’s nice my mom understands I have “two” families and understands the idea of alternating. And now with 2 kids, she gets it even more.

2019, we did my in laws. We did NOT see my parents.

2020, we stayed home.

2021, we went to my parents but I’m also pretty sure we did a day at my in laws. At this point in motherhood, I’m over seeing both families but it was post lockdown where everyone was getting over not being able to see each other like normal you know? So I’m a good in law and agree to seeing both families. Maybe we did the weekend before or after, maybe it wasn’t exactly Easter weekend but I know for a FACT we went there at some point because my SIL was there.

2022, we went to my in laws for both Saturday and Sunday (we slept over). We did NOT see my parents.

This year, it was my moms turn! We had no intention of seeing my in laws. We had seen them last year!!!!! We told them this back in like early March. We were also invited to my uncles house on Saturday and we declined because I refuse to drive to Nj two days in a row for freaking Easter.

So we went to my moms today. We had a great day! We went to the boardwalk! Had a super casual dinner at her house. Hung out, etc. it was great. We leave around 6 and on our way home my freaking in laws have the gd nerve to text my husband and say “wish you guys could drive through *our town* on your way home”

Dan says, we saw you guys last year. It’s Angela’s parents year.

They say, no you saw them last year too.

The fuck we did not??????? Dan tells them…. No??? We actually slept at your house and was there for 2 days.

They don’t believe us??????

First of all - you want us to drive an hour to your house from my moms house at 6pm, and then drive 2 hours home. Ummmmmmm. Hell no. Second of all - we didn’t see my parents last year and guess what, they are okay with that??????? They don’t expect us to drive all over the gd garden state to celebrate a holiday.

I’m so annoyed. I’m so sick of my MIL acting like she never sees my kids. I’m sick of her being jealous that my kids freaking adore my parents and spend more time with them. Do you want to know why my kids spend more time with them???? Because my parents ASK. They make the effort. They take them for sleepovers. My in laws won’t take the kids for sleepovers. They never babysit or offer. I’ve never felt like I could ask them either. They’ve both made comments that they already raised 2 kids. Fine. That’s fine! I don’t expect anything at all. They’ve spent time with Cecilia without one of us there 2 times (the 2nd time, was at Gavin’s soccer game and Dan was coaching so technically he was there!!!!).

It was just like…. I don’t know, proof they don’t value my time. I have to log on to work tomorrow at 6am. Why the hell do you think I would drive to your house after dinner on a Sunday?!?! If they had opened their mouths earlier this week I could have made sure the kids saw them OR ya know maybe they could have asked their freaking son who was on SPRING BREAK all week to bring them over. But nope! They wait until after we saw my parents and make a big deal out of it, so that it’s a “well you saw HER parents” thing and not a “we should have coordinated with our son who was on gd vacation this week” thing.

Can’t wait when I tell them Christmas is on a Monday this year and we will NOT be seeing them. They’ll get us Saturday 12/23 or not at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[cinnaminsvga]

omg so i saw your account pop up on that bit at the side with accounts to follow and stuff and immediately was thrown back

i don't know how long ago it was actually but based on the fact I've recently revived my own writing account after like 3 years away and forgetting tumblr even exists, but it's been at least that long since I last saw your account but immediate like nostalgia

this sounds terrible but i genuinely can't remember what exactly I read of yours (other than probably most of it back in the day) but I just remember you were one of my fave writers, i don't really read bts anymore because i'm up seventeen's ass these days but ima have to go through your masterlist and reread stuff for the memories now

im pretty sure that there was one specific fic series you wrote that you made group chats for on kakao maybe, i was there for it i just have terrible memory. now watch it turn out it wasn't even you that did that 🥴

i actually meant to send an ask last night when I saw your account and followed you (i think i used to follow you from my personal but idk) but it was late so I thought "hey let's wait until tomorrow when you can string together more cohesive sentences, yeah?" and then this shit show happened. but at least im not actually screaming at you in this ask like i probably would've last night

anyway, just wanted to just idek just sort of reminisce a lil and tell you that it made me really happy to see your account after these years even if you're not always active, it's nice to see that you still pop back now and then 💖

(I apologise for the mess of this. i'd say im usually more eloquent but that's a fucking lie, im a complete mess all the damn time <3)

WOAGH this was an unexpected letter in my inbox i'll tell you what (a pleasant surprise!) but hello hello welcome back and thanks for taking the time to send a message after all these years :D the tumblr algorithm, in all its mystery and dysfunctionality, sometimes makes little fun things happen like this lol

judging by your description, that fic series you're talking about is very likely "the lonely hearts club", which i suppose is an smau rather than a fic but yenno... it was something alright... if you were there during the peak of it, when i had kakao group chats for it... then it must have been 6 years since youve been around these parts (i posted that in 2018!! aint that a strange thing!!)

also, i appreciate all and every screaming ask sent my way HAHA this was actually very fun to read because like you said, i'm not very active on this blog, but getting messages once in a while is still a sweet treat!! nice to know that strangers on the internet just feel... compelled to talk to me, yenno?? especially you, who had somehow stumbled onto my patch of land by some algorithmic miracle :D it's nice reminiscing with ya!! if you really were here back in 2018, then you've known me a long time (even if you forgot most of it HAHA but i dont blame ya... my memory is pretty foggy even on a good day) so thanks for making a short stop my way <3

[crow-caller]

I posted 634 times in 2022

107 posts created (17%)

527 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@les8ean

@gullbones

@lokebrenna

@spearxwind

@crow-caller

I tagged 255 of my posts in 2022

#sometimes theres asks - 24 posts

#book review - 14 posts

#books - 14 posts

#art appreciation tag - 14 posts

#pokemon - 12 posts

#review - 11 posts

#yewchube - 9 posts

#lightlark - 9 posts

#taskmaster - 7 posts

#mortal engines - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i will finally buy from your store one of these days. okay i did years ago when you had a print of good angel charas.... but god so nice. so

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Me: I should read something good and refreshing

Me: (opens That One YA Dystopia About Human Pets)

See the full post

105 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

That One YA Dystopia Trilogy about Human Pets: Perfected

I read an entire book trilogy at once for this review, and it’s 2014 to 2018’s Perfected by Kate Jarvik Birch, a mainstream published series about humans being kept as pets.

Aw jeez.

I’ve never done a full trilogy at once, but after Lightlark I wanted to do something properly exciting. Slash disturbing. This will be roughly the same format I always do- full synopsis with discussion, and broader analysis. (And yes! This trilogy, which unilaterally earns 0 stars, is better than Lightlark!)

Read On WordPress here! Or the video is below which is the same!

148 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

#3

people love to infantilize asexual people like im not out here serving cunt 24/7 you just aren’t allowed to touch it

291 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#2

I write silly books about angels and demons and love as the world ends around you (and how maybe it can still be okay in the end anyways)

A naive angel befriends a bullied demon and that forbidden friendship kick-starts the apocalypse. About identity and love and what it's like to be a cosmic being not meant to have free will.

A huge swath of LGBT characters and stuff too, especially in the realm of questioning and experimenting. No real romance, just friendship, and ace/aro/queer stuff.

If you don't know, it's about impossible for indie authors to spread the word about their work. I'm a very ill and disabled person unable to work, so every reblog and especially review matters so much.

I offer free copies for anyone who wants one. Ideally you'd review, but I just want people to be able to read them.

Gum eboook

Amaz print

Goodreads

336 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tiktok sensation LightLark is the final boss of bad fantasy YA— a failure built on aesthetic boards and tropes, unable to pretend it has a heart

Tiktok sensation LightLark is the final boss of bad fantasy YA— a failure built on aesthetic boards and tropes, unable to pretend it has a heart

View On WordPress (Includes audio version)

A full summary with spoilers, analysis, quotes- and so much more on the subject of a book you should never read. This is a long piece. Like ‘Youtube Video Essay’ long.

Lightlark is joyless, a husk beyond parody, a checklist of every Island of Blood and Bone and Glass and Hearts that has come out in the last five years, built and sold on tropes and aesthetic boards. This is a book written by an author who is not a writer. It would fit in on the dregs of an amateur writing site with eerie perfection.

But Lightlark is more than that. You see, Lightlark is… a TikTok book.

EDIT:

See the full post

10,013 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[classicalliberalleague]

Thoughts on climate change? If I remember correctly maybe one of you thought it was fake in the past

Fake,no, but I think a more fair statement is that we think it’s typically been bad science relying too much on correlation equals causation.

That the climate is changing, I don’t think we’ve ever denied it (I can’t remember every post we’ve made, but if we were inarticulate about something it was unintentional, the climate is changing but the media for it is often done by idiots and we might have gotten impassioned in ranting against their idiocy). We may have pointed out that greater hurricane damage is more because you have more idiots building in areas with poor drainage than because of climate change; we might have pointed out that the predictions are always childishly apocalyptic and certainly that without this little thing called falsifiable testing its hard to call it science (common sense certainly, but not science). But I don’t think we’ve ever outright denied climate change.

Now, I will still argue that the argument that is 100% man-made and 0% part of a natural cycle is imbecilic, but it would be equally preposterous to argue that human beings have nothing to do with this.

But more importantly, I think the arguments that have been made over the last 40 years by the people screaming about global warming have had very little to do with wanting to help the environment.

For decades, we have been able to prove that air pollution lowers in the short term and possibly in the long term the IQ of children. Those results can be tested and repeated (like real science)…but the environmental groups never went with that kind of argument that would have driven middle-class suburban parents to demand immediate change en masse. Why? Because that wouldn’t leave the people in a position to still make money. (https://www.calhealthreport.org/2018/01/31/teen-exposure-air-pollution-reduce-iq-levels-long-term/#:~:text=These%20particles%20are%20about%2030,1%20point%2C%20the%20researchers%20found.) But, no, no, let’s just describe the future like a bad YA dystopian novel, not in deal with actual health problems in the here and now.

Same with nuclear power. It is far and away the safest, cleanest, and most efficient form of electrical power available (fusion will likely take that position in a few years). But the environmental movement is usually opposed to it because it would actually solve things. We should have replaced every last coal plant with nuclear power in the industrialized world decades ago, but we didn’t.

At this point, with rising temperatures, we should at least be attempting methods like releasing sulfur into the upper atmosphere (https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/12/world/solar-dimming-geoengineering-climate-solution-intl/index.html) on a global but controlled basis to see if it has any effect. But aside from some silly startup that won’t ever have the resources to do enough, no one is doing anything about this.

Oh, and I feel we quote Milton Friedman enough around here to remind you that Milton was the one who came up with the carbon tax. Now, certainly, I have many technical problems with the way it has been presented, but I don’t have a problem with it in theory. (If you want to quibble about details, you’ll have to tell me specifically which proposed version you like).

What won’t work is pushing ethanol (which causes tons of pollutants to be released because of fertilizer) or relying on solar or wind (which are still not effective and efficient for long periods of time).

Now, I am not suggesting some evil cabal. I am suggesting merely good old-fashioned short-term greed by individuals. Just as it can be shown, tests for drug efficiency seem to always come in favor of the drug when paid for by the drug maker but less often when paid for by an independent group (even when the testers supposedly are kept in the dark about funding)…I think that people studying climate science know that if there is a solution, then they are out of a job, so they have no incentive to give accurate or reasonable projections or to provide solutions that will work. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0141076820914242 Very few people will argue to eliminate their job.

The earth is getting warmer. This means we should build nuclear power plants, put in a carbon tax that works, move to hybrid and then electric cars, and attempt geoengineering…because telling people to drive less and lower the thermostat is not going to work, nor is giving Mad Max style predictions.

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

#Onthisday: Nov 9th, 2018

Title: Riya's TRUE IMPREZA custom car look - No 2

Here yet another latest look for Riya's "TRUE IMPREZA". 🔧🚘😁

If you haven't seen "No. 1", then please [CLICK ME!].

• Last 2nd day of November this year, I decided to go once again at my current mall (SM City North Edsa), for another round meet up with my friend, Romulus907. And instead we've went to my usual arcade branch (Quantum Amusement), instead we've went to another direction, Denki Game Station at SM Annex North Edsa and played our current racing arcade (Wangan Maxi 5DXPlus).

• As I continued racing progress with her "TRUE IMPREZA" in Online Ghost VS Battle I encountered another Special G Armored Car once again as a 2nd time and it's no big deal to overtake / beat the same name (RICH) and the same course (Hiroshima Expressway) as from my previous ago. After beat up the Special G once again, her Shop Grade level gained 2. Unlocked new parts, browsing around items and I purchased the "Racing Stripe 2" with pink color, matching her personality and much like Spot used. 😉

Riya 🐰🏎️: Yes sir! That armored truck filled with G-coins is sure was a tough cookie, though... Hehe Nah, not really! 😅 But, I managed to beat it in a one-on-one VS Ghost battle! 😁 Also, I used to have "Racing Stripe 2" with pink color to matched my vehicle personality before it was removed when we transferred our data from "Wangan Maxi Tune 5DXPlus" to "Wangan Maxi Tune 6". *Sigh* Damn! I want that cool stripe included in the WMMT6, but we just have to earn more experience again by dishing out one or three ghosts in a VS Ghost battle! 😒 But hey, its alright. We just need to be strong and keep up, eh!? 😉💪 Anyways, I can’t wait to race it again, but I have some tasks that need to be finished. See ya! 👋😊

So for more stories about Riya's "TRUE IMPREZA", then I very highly recommend that you have read her stories on these links. ↓

• Riya's "TRUE IMPREZA" Explanation (Jun 25th, 2017) • Riya's True #Impreza - plus Spot faced Barry (Jun 24th, 2017) • My WMMT5DX+ Update Part 2 (Aug 26th, 2017) • My WMMT5DXPlus progress at Denki Game Station Part 1 (Jun 17th, 2018) • My WMMT5DX Plus Update at Quantum Amusement (Aug 18th, 2018) • My WMMT5DXPlus Update (Sept. 24th, 2018): [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4] (Final) • My WMMT5DXPlus Update (Oct. 26, 2018): [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4] (Final) • My WMMT5DXPlus Update (Nov. 2nd, 2018): [Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3] (Final) , [Part 3] (Final Plus), [EXTRA]

Photography by ME! (My old/former Samsung Galaxy S4 [GT-I9505]) Riya Speedster (Chowder OC) - created by ME! Title & Arcade - Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune 5DXPlus © 2018 NAMCO BANDAI GAMES INC.

[polyamorouspunk]

… relationship advice cause brain is scrambled please? 🥺👉👈 Even if your followers wanna chime in thats fine too cause I just need an outside view to be honest. Warning long post.

So theres this guy I’ve been friends with since our freshman year of college (2018), lets call him T. We’ve gotten a lot closer over the last few years and I consider him one of my best friends and vice versa. And a few years ago there was some flirting between us but it didnt go anywhere. Really neither of us were in the place for that relationship back then.

Now he has a girlfriend, M, who absolutely hates me, but he is planning on breaking up with her after all the commitments that he has already paid for are up (like day trips and stuff). He is also trying to wait until the semester starts so that he doesnt have to see her anymore, as the last time they broke up, she went a bit wild and started causing trouble with his professors, trapped him in her room, etc.. The problem is that they currently live really close together and while he was in school, they had a LOT of classes together and were both officers of a club together. So the last time he broke up with her, he still had to see him every day and took every chance to cause a problem with him. He ended up getting back together with her just to make it stop. Putting it simply, I completely understand why he doesnt want to upset her until he never has to see her again. Though I think it would be better for him to break it off sooner rather than later.

This is where it gets iffy and I understand my friends telling me that I shouldn't give him a shot. A month or so ago, he confessed to me that he wanted to date me. And I told him off since he does currently have a girlfriend and the way he phrased it wasnt the best. It sounded more like ‘If you wait for me, I’ll date you’, which he has since very sincerely apologized for. He has been quiet about it until last night, where there was some innocent flirting (admittedly on both sides), but he did put a stop to it and tell me "I need to keep my mouth shut for now". My friends are worried that his willingness to tell me that he likes me and flirt while still technically dating his girlfriend, shows that he is just lining me up so that he has someone to date after he breaks it off with his girlfriend. But he has told me near everything that happens in his relationship and I know he hasn't been happy in it for a long time. And I know that he is worried about what she might do if he tries to break it off. That and I do actually like him, l've liked him since I met him, but was too scared to tell him back then. Its not like I'm thinking about dating him just so I don't have to be single, ya know?

So l guess the advice I'm looking for is, would it be okay to date him once he does break it off with her? I'm not necessarily waiting for him to do so, but if he does break up with her before I find a different guy, would I just be asking for trouble? Would it be better to wait a while after they break up if I'm still single? My friends keep telling me that 'a cheater is always a cheater', but none of them seem to really understand all the trauma that girl has put him through or that he hasn't really had feelings for her for a while now. Like a good while before he told me he wanted to date me. And to me, it does seem like he has been trying to keep his feelings to himself (save when he confessed his feelings to me and then last night, which was partially my fault, but he put a stop to). I dont know, I just dont see that has cheating considering the circumstances.

TLDR: My friends say that I shouldnt date a guy that I know really well because he told me he liked me while still in an abusive relationship. And now I’m questioning if I should even be considering the possibility of dating him. Help.

I think a friend of mine and I have been in similar situations for sure. Not to speak for them but I know that they broke up with an ex that was making them uncomfortable with someone else and then they ended up dating that person after the breakup which only made it worse for my friend. A little while after that I became friends with someone that followers of mine will know as Catboy and when I jokingly said that I was going on a “movie date” with Catboy (as friends) my ex broke up with me because he said I was cheating on him even though I was like no we’re going as friends but yk after he dumped me it did end up being a real date so. I know my friend was really pissed about their ex dating someone they felt was a threat right after breaking up with them and I’m sure my ex felt really pissed about me dating someone they felt was a threat after breaking up with me. So I see both my friend’s side as the person who feels “replaced” and my side as the person who was devastated to be dumped by the love of my life for “many reasons” and I have no regrets turning around and jumping into a very unhealthy relationship right after that. I think it was what I needed at the time and even though it became soooo fucking unhinged I was so desperate to be loved after being dumped I get it.

But here’s the thing: in both our cases the person was not already “planning” on dating the person behind another partner’s back. That’s REAL fucking shitty. Yeah, it’s a different story when that person is abusive. I think a really good fictional case of this is in the earlier seasons of 911. You root for Maddy and Chimney to be together even though Maddy was still married to her ex I think. I’m pro finding someone else to be in a relationship while being stuck in an abusive one for sure but like… idk there’s also nuance. There’s a line. I’m sure if you talk to my ex he’ll tell you I’m a crazy bitch. He had to dump me because I was just “too toxic” or whatever. If he was dating someone else on the side at the time or was planning to because he felt like I was some insane bpd bitch I would have been furious. Because I understand what it’s like to be a jealous bitch who hates your boyfriend’s friends. So I mean, I would be pissed in her shoes and I would say he’s cheating on her for sure. I get what it’s like to be an unhinged girl. So I can empathize with her, as someone who also gets treated like a crazy bitch sometimes.

I don’t really believe that “if you cheat once you’ll always cheat” because like I said there’s that exception of like “if you’re cheating because you’re being a battered woman and you’re physically afraid to leave but you’re craving love and receiving it from someone safe how can anyone blame you?”

I don’t think you’re wrong for being willing to jump into a relationship with him right when his ends and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to jump in a relationship with you right when his ends but I do think it’s really shitty to have someone you’re planning on dating on the side after you break up with someone while still dating them, and she has every right to be pissed about it and claim that she’s been cheated on. I think that still counts. I know “emotional cheating” isn’t a thing but I think planning on dating someone else while dating someone is close enough. But I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to date him when he’s free and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to date you when he’s free.

I’ll ask the other person I’m talking about if they want to chime in anonymously or not.

[lxcoyotelx]

It's me. Hi!

It's ya boy Logan (I'm almost 24 I've got to stop that). I never take photos of myself, here's some from this year or last year. Yes, this will be another get to know me post.

Fun fact about me: I am bisexual and transgender. I've been out since 2018 (friends and immediate family) and 2020 (publicly). The reactions were split 50/50. One side of my family isn't supportive in the slightest. I'm not allowed at family functions because of the fact, but I don't really talk with that side anymore.

The other side, however, took it wonderfully. Immediate support. My dad calls me his son, my sisters see me as their brother, and of course my friends were no different.

I was out at my last job and majority of them were very supportive. This new job I'm not fully out yet as it's a pretty conservative workplace which is okay because the people who do know are wonderful about it.

I don't smile in photos because I'm insecure about my smile (makes me look too feminine and not a fan of that) but believe me when I say after moving out of a very toxic household, my mental health is doing better. I may not be where I want to be yet and that's okay, I'm still pretty happy where I am at though. That's what matters.

[adamwatchesmovies]

I Still See You (2018)

Released in theaters on October 12, 2018, I Still See You came and went without making an impression. With the teenage protagonists in the middle of a post-catastrophe world, you’ll wonder why at first. The Darkest Minds, The 5th Wave and Divergent all fizzled without their stories concluding but some people were clamouring for them. Could this be a YA-novel adaptation so bad it couldn't even find an audience among 13-year-olds?

In 2010, an explosion at Ashburn Laboratories creates a shockwave that kills hundreds. The deceased come back as non-sentient “remnants” (ghosts) who repeat some of their final moments every day. Ten years later, high school student Veronica ‘Ronnie’ Calder (Bella Thorne) is startled by a new (sexy) ghost (played by Thomas Elms) in her bathroom. Impossibly, this remnant writes “Run” in the steamed mirror before vanishing. Her favourite teacher, Mr. Bittner (Dermot Mulroney), doesn’t believe her but quiet loner Kirk Lane (Richard Harmon) does. Together, they follow the remnant's trail and discover it may be trying to attack her from the grave.

What we’ve got here is one of the most convoluted vehicles for a mystery I’ve ever seen. Let's begin with this world. Everyone drives slowly, not knowing if the old lady crossing the street is actually a human being, or the memory of one. Inside Ronnie’s home, there are always three chairs at the dinner table so her deceased father can appear unimpeded in the morning. I’m certain there are many awkward trips to the washroom where someone with a full bladder opens the door to find a phantom sitting on the toilet. Half of a couple in the middle of having sex is floating in a hotel bedroom. Passengers who died on a flight are zipping through the air high above us, etc. I know we're not supposed to think about that but you can't help it. You expect the film to be about Ronnie and Lane discovering a conspiracy behind the remnants or that perhaps since “Brian” wants to harm her, that all remnants are about to turn on humanity unless the explosion's cause is discovered. You’re way, way off. The remnants are not integral to the story except to explain how Ronnie saw that first ghost, and why she begins a quest for answers.

At 98 minutes, this is a short film, and a significant chunk is spent on information that's ultimately useless. In fact, the role remnants ultimately play in the story proves this never should've been a movie. I can't emphasize how superfluous the ghost thing is in the end but you get stuck on that angle. It's all you care about. We know the remnants are not - as previously stated - forced to simply relive their last moments in the same place as they lived them. Obviously, “Brian” and his sumptuous behind didn’t die in his underwear in Ronnie’s bathroom 10 years ago. This means remants can be anywhere, at any time. They can also be animals and from a time period which precedes the explosion. What the rules are, you don't know - but you want to. Makes you wonder what happens when two of them collide.

What this movie is REALLY about is the mystery. Too bad it's nonsense. It’s impossible for you to figure out what really happened to Brian and how Ronnie ties to him. Once you learn the truth, it’ll leave your head spinning. Hopefully, fast enough for you to stop asking questions - or so director Scott Speer hopes. There are so many seemingly random aspects to the enigma that is Brian. February 29th is an important date, and a crucial clue to what’s happening. Why an explosion-created ghost would care about leap years, I don’t know. It gets crazier as bodies pile up and time starts to run out. You wonder how all of these clues and characters we’ve been introduced to will fit together. Got a theory? I can tell you without hearing it; you're wrong.

I Still See You is ridiculous. Its story derails itself. The film feels like it was re-written to contain a supernatural element. When the ghost thing didn’t sell, they altered the recipe again to draw in fans of the post-apocalyptic YA genre. In the end, there are more misshapen ideas than fully realized ones. It’s so utterly bewildering I think you can have a lot of fun with it as long as you know it’s a bad movie ahead of time. (June 28, 2019)

[tristinleighhh]

I'm going to use text to talk for this post because it really hurts to type with my wrists, and I really want to do morning pages instead of scrolling on Facebook as soon as I wake up.

my wrists got messed up in the fall and my left wrist has been really hurting me my right one isn't as bad but it does hurt when I'm on my phone.

anyway, not having a job is really starting to get to me. I feel like a useless piece of shit I'm not understanding why I can't get a job. I get that most places aren't hiring right now but damn I've applied at a lot of places and I've gotten no call backs. I want to go out and apply to more places but there is snow everywhere and the weather has been against me. applying online is stupid, all the posts are like 30 plus days old and there's nowhere that I want to work on there but at this point it seems like I'm going to have to go somewhere I don't want to be and that really sucks. I hope that this week I get a call back from this place called Acova. They said that they were hiring after the first of the year and it's now the third. The host guy was really nice and it's a small indoor place with a big patio and a good menu and I think that it seems like I could fit in there and he liked my resume and the fact that I came in person and I'm going to call them back and see if they want to set up an interview.

I've been saving a change jar forever. Pretty sure the last time that I emptied it was in 2018 when I went hulaween with Matt. I could be wrong but I've been collecting changing there for a while and it was supposed to be for envision. I already took out all my singles and now I'm going to exchange all the change today because my bank account is negative and I need to do a a credit card payment, I've never missed a payment. I feel like I'm already messing up my credit because I have a huge balance. I spent way too much money at the Fillmore but I did have a really good time.

I'm getting really stressed about envision. I'm supposed to be getting $633 a week for unemployment and I haven't gotten anything yet I really hope that I get it soon. I feel like Dan does so much and I've been doing like nothing. I haven't working on some art I finished one piece and I'm working on something else. I'm not going to get distracted today and I'm going to finish this piece. I'm going to clean up the pretty lights hats today and put them up for sale online. I'm going to put my maroon of the trees hat up for sale online. I have no idea what to price the pretty lights hats at but I feel like I could sell them for a good amount of money.

I know I'm just rambling but isn't that the point of morning pages?

Today I'm going to apply for Medicaid also since I lost my health insurance because bitch ass bds...and can't afford another plan. 🤞 It all works out.

I'm honestly so sick of this snow it's really just messing everything up for me. I truly don't even know where else to apply I really don't want to work in some random bigger corporation restaurant.

whatever I'm going to seize the day today, finish straightening up my room so I have a clear space, and I'm going to make sure I hydrate more 💧

open on Facebook yet which is good because that shit rots your fucking brain. I try to follow pages that are cool and informational but I just get random shit and I don't want it. Facebook isn't as fun as it used to be and I'm really going to try to use Tumblr more. I'm going to try to curate my page to just be in nature loving mushroom fairy wonderland.

I'm going to go wash my face brush my teeth and start my day. Today is going to be a good day. I'm going to manifest this job at acova. I'm going to get this job, the job is already mine 🥰 m a n i f e s t.

oh also Lotus New Year's Eve was dope I should post some pictures on here cuz it really was awesome and I want to start sharing my life more on here.

okay well this was refreshing to do and I'm all out of words so see ya.

Signing off 🖖

Triz