#kreulsilvermane

[mimurus]

kreulsilvermane replied to your post: It’s funny how my unsocial nature is a problem to...

That’s actually pretty great. I mean, granted yes I am social. But I know the feeling of people telling you how you should and shouldn’t be. I’m glad you are able to just shove aside what others say.

Yeah I’m trying to make people understand but it seems hopeless. Social people just don’t seem to understand a person like me who socializes rarely and actually enjoys being alone 24/7.

My mom gave me a different point of view on this situation. She said that maybe people get upset of my asocial nature because I’m such an awesome person to be around, that those who know how I am want to share me with others, like, “THIS is the awesome person I was talking about!”. She said I’m just like my father - we are both very good with people and talk to anyone with ease. People WANT us around because of that, and people WANT our company. When they won’t get it, it upsets them. 

That was definitely a new way to look at the thing. Because she also reminded me of one summer when I listened to my dad’s brother for 4 hours. He literally spoke with me for 4 hours and was amazed how wise and amazing I was. He said I would become an amazing psychiatrist in the future. I also remember once talking with a foreign guy, and few weeks later he thanked me and said “if I wasn’t able to talk to you I would’ve already committed suicide”, and continued to say thank you for literally saving his life.

But there’s the problem of me always thinking I’m not wanted around anyone. 

One summer my brother invited me to his Bday party. I remember how he introduced me to his friends and all the time was like “this is my sister” and was smiling and happy and seemed to be very happy that I came to that party. Still...I felt like I shouldn’t be there. So after few hours I went inside to my own room to draw and sat there, door closed, for the rest of the evening. People even came asking if I wanted to join this or that, but I politely refused. 

Even when people ask my manthing “where’s your girlfriend?” “I wish I could see her more often” “next time you visit me try to take her with you”, or just ask if they could see me because they miss me, I ALWAYS think “no they don’t, they don’t really mean it”. I always feel like a third wheel and feel like people want my company just to be polite. Y’know? Like they don’t actually want my company but pretend to want just to be polite. (even tho my man and my friends keep telling me that’s not the case)