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ilwonuu · 10 months ago

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hi! can u req a joshua fluff (with smut haha) in which shua will surprise wife!y/n on her bday but y/n has bigger news (🤰).. thank u 🩷🩵

omg yes!! i love this idea sm!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR REQUEST💖💖

▸ ִֶָ ⊹all for you. h. jisoo

summary- your husband wants to make your birthday the most memorable birthday you have ever had. he surprises you with a beautiful date night. but you have a bigger surprise;)

warnings- fluff with plot, smut with plot, lots of love (ew), pregnancy sex, unprotected sex, pet names(honey, my love, reader calls joshua shua a lot), dirty talk, oral fem receiving, breeding kink kinda???, creampie, lots and lots of affection, hoshi is mentioned a few times, happy marriage, lmk if i missed anything 😘

authors note- i made this way longer than i intended it to be bc i kinda got carried away. i hope there isn’t too many typos since i haven’t proof read it yet and stuff anyways thank you for reading<3

joshua always would go all out for your birthday. he would do anything he can do make sure you had the best day ever. you never had any worries about your birthday but this one was a little different. you had something important to talk to him about. it was that you guys are going to be parents. you know he will be happy with the news but there is a voice in the back of your head saying that this might ruin your birthday. you love your husband and he loves you but we’re you guys ready to have a baby?

you roll out of bed around 10 am seeing your husband is nowhere to be found in the bedroom. making your way to your bathroom to wash up. “shua?? where are you?” you yell loud enough for him to hear from the bathroom. “honey im in the kitchen! im making you breakfast in bed so go lay back down.” he says shouting back. you smile at his words complying with what he asked you to do. getting back into your shared comfy bed.

joshua comes into not to late after you do with a plate of pancakes, bacon,fruit, and your favorite coffee he makes for you. “happy birthday my beautiful wife. you deserve the world.” he says setting your food down on the table next to you bending down to pull you into a sweet kiss. “thank you shua. i really appreciate you.” you smile at him and grab your food. “and i love you so much. i have so many things planned for you today. you feeling up to it?” he asks sitting next to you on your bed. you nod eating your food. “i love you too.”

he kisses your cheek and steals a piece of your bacon. “can i have this?” he asks taking a bite. “shua you’re already eating it.” you laugh at him taking another bite of your pancakes. “i did good on this bacon. it tastes so good.” he smiles at you and kisses your face all over. “okay my love i was thinking we could go shopping a little bit and then we can come back and watch a movie then i can make you dinner. or we can go out to eat. whatever you would like honey.” he says giving sweet kisses against your neck. “mm that sounds so nice shua. you are too sweet to me.” you finish your food turning to pull him into a hug. “you deserve it beautiful. wanna go back to sleep for a little longer or should we start getting ready?” you get under the covers. “definitely more sleep.” you say pulling him to cuddle you. “of course honey. rest all you want we can get up when you want.” he say kissing you before closing his eyes nuzzling his face into your neck. you two both falling asleep tangled in eachothers arms.

—

you wake up a few hours later shifting slightly seeing a still asleep joshua. kissing his forehead slightly before heading to the bathroom. quickly peeing before coming back into your bed room. “mm honey are you ready to get up?” he says still with his eyes closed. “yes i am if you are shua.” he finally opens his eyes stretching slightly smiling at you. “okay honey we can shower real quick then we can leave to do your shopping.” you nod making your way to the bathroom with him slowly following behind you. shutting the door after you both. “come here my love.” he says pulling you into a hug kissing you softly. “you look so beautiful today honey. i can never get bored of looking at you.” he kisses down your jaw making his way down your neck. “mm shua that was cheesy.” you laugh moving your head a little so he can have a better angle. “you love it tho.” he lifts you to sit on the sink smiling at you while he pulls off his shirt. “you smell so good. i bet you’ll taste even better.” he smiles pecking your lips again. “can i?” he asks rubbing your thigh slightly. “hm can you what shua?” he laughs. “can i eat you out? i really want to make you feel good. then we can take a shower hm??” you nod slowly.

he smiles at you before kneeling in front on you slowly pulling your shorts and panties down in one quick movement. “my love you’re soaking. what have you been thinking about?” he looks up at you kissing your inner thighs. “y-you. i want you shua pl-“ he cuts you off by licking a long stripe up your slit humming against you. causing you hands to immediately go to his hair. “o-oh shua feels so good.” he smirks against you slowly inserting his tongue inside of you fucking it into you slightly. you tug on his hair slightly rougher this time throwing your head back in pleasure. “holy shit shua. p-please don’t stop.” and he doesn’t he continues his movements looking up at you through his eyelashes. slowly bringing his finger up to rub your clit. he is moaning into your pussy sending tingles down your spine. he is lost in eating you out. his face now having your arousal all over it.

his dick is now rock hard in his shorts as he watches your face change more and more with the pleasure he is giving you. “shua im gonna c-cum!” he continues watching you rubbing your clit faster feeling you clench around his tongue. you immediately release on his tongue moaning his name. he licks up all you cum before standing up and smiling at you. “i can never get enough of that my love. you taste amazing.” you still trying to catch your breath before moving to stand up. he pulls you into a sweet kiss. “see? you are so sweet.” he kisses your cheek. “lets shower hm?” he smiles before pulling both of your clothes off starting the water for the shower.

—

“shua i’m all ready to go!” you say making your way to your living room where he is waiting. he smiles at you. “you look beautiful honey. lets go.” he grabs your hand leading you guys out of the house and to his car.

the car ride to the mall was filled with you two singing the music that you wanted to play. “okay we have arrived!! lets go in.” he smiles getting out of your car making his way to your side to let you out. “my love.” he smiles grabbing your hand. “my shua.” you say laughing. “what store do you want to go in first?” he says as you two are hand and hand making your way into the mall.

—

what you didn’t know is that joshua had a surprise for you. he has asked the guys to help set up your house for the perfect movie and dinner night. and thats why he had you guys leave a little early to go shopping. joshua is somewhat nervous something will go wrong. causing him to be paranoid sending soonyoung a text.

joshua- are you guys almost done? y/n is getting tired of shopping she wants to come home soon.

soonyoung- yes! we have a few more things to do for your room like you asked and then we’ll be leaving.

joshua- oh thank god. thank you thank you. i appreciate you guys helping i owe you.

soonyoung- no problem. we love y/n she deserves a good day!!

joshua- love u😘

soonyoung- love u too 😨

soonyoung- tell me how she likes it!!!

“joshua? who are you texting?” you say smiling at him and his focused expression. “just soonyoung. him and the guys say happy birthday.” you make a sweet expression. “aw thats sweet. tell them i say thank you and that i love them.” “will do my love.” he smiles putting his phone away. “okay i’m thinking one more store then we can leave okay honey?” he says smiling before walking into another store with you.

—

soonyoung- we just finished! good luck bro tell me how it goes

“okay my love you ready to go?” you nod quickly. “please my feet hurt.” you say laughing as he puts you on his back running to the car. “joshua im heavy you better not drop me!” he laughs at you. “first of all you are nowhere near heavy and i would never drop my beautiful wife okay?” you roll your eyes at him. “you’re being so cheesy today.” he puts you down as you make it to the car. “once again i know you love it.” you scoff looking away from him. “okay maybe a little bit. but only a little!!” you say as he opens your car door for you. “come on my love lets get you home.” he says quickly starting the car to head back to your house.

you two arrive back noticing his mood changing slightly to a more nervous one. “you okay shua?” he smiles at you. “of course i just want you to have a good day.” “shua i am having the best day ever. you are treating me so well do not worry.” you rub his back. “i always worry because you deserve the best y/n.” “you are the best shua. you are the sweetest person i could ask for. you never have to worry you always make me feel so special.” you pull him into a kiss. “come on love lets go inside.” you say getting out the car following him into your house.

you walk into your home seeing all the rose pedals and candles lit. “joshua you didn’t have to do all this.” you look at him lovingly feeling him pull you in to hug him. “i know honey but like i said you deserve the best. i asked the guys to help with the decorations. do you like it?” he asks rubbing your back softly. “i love it joshie thank you.” he smiles. “okay my love have you decided if you wanna go out to dinner or have me cook?” “mm i don’t really feel like leaving again i would rather stay and have you cook for me if thats okay.” he kisses you sweetly. “of course my love. you hungry now or do you want to wait?” you think for a second. “i’m a little bit hungry now.” he nods kissing your forehead before making his way into the kitchen. “okay well you get comfortable i will start on dinner okay?” you nod smiling at him making your way to the couch.

you loved joshua. he is the best husband you could ever ask for. he was always this sweet. when you guys first started dating he was embarrassed about how much he would do for you. he would go out of his way to see you even when he barely had the time. joshua loved you and he had no doubt that he was gonna spend the rest of his life with you. when he asked you to marry him you were shocked but relieved that he felt the same way about how strong your love is. you had nothing to worry about with him. now you’re feeling a little uneasy. what if he isn’t ready to have kids with you? he knows that you guys have unprotected sex all the time. but sometimes he just doesn’t want to pull out. it was bound to happen right? how do you go about tell him? before dinner? after dinner? tomorrow? you’re all over the place. you took the pregnancy test just a couple of days ago. but last night you took another just to be sure and as they all said you were pregnant.

you turn on your tv pulling you away from your thoughts for a moment putting on a rom com for you and joshua to watch when he is done cooking. you get lost in the movie as you wait for the food to be done. “my love dinner is served.” he says bringing over a steak dinner he prepared. “shua it smells so good. thank you so much.” you smile at him as he sits down with his food next to you. “of course honey you know i’d do anything for you.” he kisses your forehead again before both of you begin to eat. you finish your food rather fast causing joshua to laugh. “you really were hungry hm my love.” he smiles finishing up his food shortly after. you nod moving closer to him.

“what do you want to do now my love? want to watch another movie? want a massage? i can make love to you. the choice is yours.” you shake your head. “actually um..i need to tell you something.” he shifts to look at you. “oh really? whats up my love you look nervous.”

you don’t look back at him. trying to figure out how to tell him. “um well uh i went the store the other night right and i grabbed a few things.” he nods showing you that he is listening to you closely. “u-uh so well i got a few pregnancy tests just to have them. and i took the tests just because i wanted to see what it would say. um joshua i’m pregnant.” he doesn’t take his eyes off you. not know what to say right away. “are you serious? we’re gonna have a baby?” he says immediately holding your stomach looking at you so happily. you nod tearing up slightly. “we’re gonna be parents.” you smile now crying a little bit. “oh my god??? we’re gonna be parents. you’re gonna be a mom! im gonna be a dad??” he pulls you into a kiss. “i love you so much. i cannot believe this. im so happy y/n. i wouldn’t want to experience this with anyone else.” he rubs your stomach softly. “you are gonna be the most gorgeous mommy.” he kisses you and pulls you onto his lap. “i was so nervous to tell you all day. i was scared you were gonna leave me or something when i told you.”

he shakes his head “my love you know i would never leave you in a million years. you’re stuck with me forever.” he kisses you deeply rubbing your side slightly. you start to grind your hips down onto him moaning slightly. “is making love to me still on the table?” you ask smirking slightly. “of course honey whatever you want i will give to you.” he pulls you into another kiss. this one seeming more desperate and rough causing you to moan slightly into the kiss. “mm lets go up to the bedroom so i can do this properly.” he lifts you up and takes you to the room. he lays you down on the bed gently climbing over you. “i can’t wait to see you with your baby bump. you’re gorgeous now but i know im gonna fall even deeper in love with you.” he says causing you to tear up again. “j-jesus joshua you’re gonna make me cry.” he wipes the tear that escapes your eye and kisses you cheek. “don’t cry my love. i mean what i said. you are everything to me. let me show you how much you mean to me.”

he slowly takes off both of your clothing. he trails kisses down your body making you whimper quietly. “mm honey i want to hear you okay? don’t hide from me. you sound so beautiful.” he says before kissing around your neck and chest.

“let me finger you so i don’t hurt you m’kay?” slowly gliding his finger over your slit.

joshua wasn’t huge but he was not anything close to small. you will never get used to how big his dick in no matter how many times you guys have had sex.

he slowly inserts a finger into you moaning as he feels how wet you are. “my pretty pretty girl. you look so gorgeous like this. i wanna look at you forever.”

you moan as he slides another finger into you gently as he kisses your nose. “mm shua please more. it feels so g-good.” your eyes rolling to the back of your head. he complies sliding a third finger into you kissing up your body again. “yea my love? you gonna make a mess on my fingers? do it honey i want you to make a mess for me. can you do that pretty?” he smiles moving some of your hair out of your face. you nod as he curls his fingers deeper inside you. hitting the spot you need him at most over and over. “s-shua i’m gonna cum.” he nods “yea honey? cum for me. i want to taste all of it my love.” he pulls you into a kiss slowly slipping his tongue into your mouth. that brought you over the edge. you clench around his fingers pulling away from the kiss releasing a loud moan. “mm thats it pretty. fuck you’re doing so well.” you immediately cum after hearing those words. he continues to fuck his fingers into you having you ride out your high.

pulling his fingers out shortly after to pull them up to his mouth and suck on them licking them clean. “you taste so fucking good every time. i could eat your cum for every meal if you’d let me.” you laugh at him slightly. “mm i could do the same for you.” he smiles slighting rubbing his dick along your folds. “you ready my pretty girl?”

you nod quickly looking down at where he is rubbing you. seeing he immediately starts pushing in slowly. his head is thrown back and his head is already sweaty causing hair to stick to his forehead. “fuck you are so tight still my love.” he watches you face as your fucked out expression turns into a more fucked out expression. he pushes in all the way bottoming out not beginning to move yet so you can adjust. “you okay honey? you’re taking me so well. “ he doesn’t take his eyes off of you and where you two are connected. “i-i’m okay shua. you can move.” he smiles before pulling out and slowly pushing back in causing him to release a few grunts. “s-shit you’re always so tight. i’m sorry baby im gonna cum so quick.” you just moan as you feel him thrust deeper inside of you.

“you’re so wet my love im sliding right in.” he says with his mouth falling open as he watches how he fucks you. sex has filled the room. the sound of your wetness, skin slapping, your high pitched moans, and joshuas deep grunts. “s-shua harder please.” he doesn’t say another word grabbing your hands and pinning them above your head fucking you deeper and harder. “like this?” he says cursing under his breath again. “y-yes fuck! oh my god you’re so deep shua i cant.” he groans again leaving more kisses on your body.

“you’re taking me so well my love. pretty pussy, pretty girl, everything about you is so. fucking. pretty.” he punctuates the words with a harder thrust each time.

“i’m c-close shua!” he moves his other hand down to open your legs wider. “shit honey me too im gonna fill you up. you want that? want me to fuck another baby into you?” you nod dumbly not being able to respond at this point. “you gonna cum pretty? i feel you clenching around me. feels so fucking good.” he throws his head back again feeling you release your juices onto his dick. “fuck yes my love. cum on my dick. make a mess all for me.” his dick twitches at his own words as he cums deep inside you.

fucking into you slowly as he calms down from his high. he pulls out a little after watching as his cum mixed with yours flows onto the bed. “look at you my pretty mess. fuck honey. you did so well for me.” you nod at him and sit up slightly feeling more cum drip out of you. “let me get something to clean you up my love.” he gets up pulling on his shorts heading into the bathroom to grab a rag. he wets it with warm water before making his way back into your room cleaning you up gently.

“you okay honey?” you hum. “never been better.” he finishes cleaning you up and grabs you a new pair of clothes handing it to you. “here you go honey let me change the sheets then we can lay down.

—

you didn’t realize that you fell asleep after you guys got back into bed after cleaning up. you wake up to see your lovely husband laying next to you. talking on the phone to who you assume is to be soonyoung or seokmin. “yea shes sleeping right now when she wakes- oh shes awake one second.” h shifts to you. “im so sorry honey did i wake you up? you were sleeping so peacefully.” you shake your head and smile. “its okay shua don’t worry.” he nods before pulling his phone from his ear putting it on speaker.

“soonyoung she can hear you say hello.” he says looking at you. “hi y/n!! happy birthday i hope you liked the decorations.” you smiled “yes i loved it so much. thank you guys for helping shua do that for me it means a lot.”

“no problem at all y/n we love you more than we love joshua!” you laugh slightly as you see your husband roll your eyes. “oh soonyoung i can tell you our news now that shes awake i didn’t want to tell you without her.” he is all smiley now excited to tell him what is gonna be in the next chapter of your life. “okay tell me!! are you guys moving into a new house?? what hurry up!!!” soonyoung says causing you both to laugh. “you want to tell him honey?” he says grabbing a hold of your hand. “yea. well you’re about to be uncle soonyoungie!” the line is silent for a second and then there is a loud scream. “Y/N YOURE PREGNANT OH MY GOD.”

“yes we are having a baby.” you smile at joshua to see that he is already looking at you with so much love in his eyes. “that is amazing you guys. im so happy for you. we need to throw a baby shower! got to go i need to start planning this!” he hangs up making you and joshua laugh at him again. he pulls you into his arms. “i love you so much. can’t wait to see you be the best mom ever.” he kisses you deeply not letting go of you for the rest of the night.

#seventeen #svt #svt fanfic #svt hard thoughts #svt imagines #svt smut #svt x reader #joshua #joshua seventeen #svt joshua #svt fluff #seventeen smut #joshua smut #hong jisoo

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chimivx · 4 months ago

Text

TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part Six of Six)

summary: 1998 is his year. He's sure of it. (With a bonus snippet of the future.)

word count: 12k

warnings: 18+, mentions of alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, drug use mentions, sex is insinuated, physical violence between male friends is talked about, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: I don't even know how to say goodbye to this. This has been two years of my life. Thank you to everyone who's been on this wild ride. <3

more about Beomgyu and his family in NMWID.

“You can take this, and you can sit down,” Felix’s voice carried through his kitchen, our kitchen, as he handed Seungmin a pitcher of water and waved him away. “You haven’t slept in thirty six hours, you’re nuts if you think I’m going to let you do too much.” Laughter followed, pulling a smile out of me.

From the kitchen table I heard Changbin reprimand the boy as well, telling him again and again how he’s been working too hard, too much. Glancing their way from where I stood at the counter plating a couple dishes, I couldn’t help but laugh. Seungmin had all eyes on him, and several different people doting on his every need.

Felix, setting the table up making sure he had what he needed in front of him. Changbin, filling up his glass with water when he set the pitcher down. Jeongin, unfolding a napkin and laying it across his lap to protect the scrubs he hadn’t changed out of yet. Changbins girlfriend, Yeri, who he’d been seeing for over a year now fussed over Seungmins messy hair, jokingly brushing it away from his forehead like a mother. Jisoo, Jeongins new girl of a few weeks, sat back, watching the chaos unfold before her.

“You didn’t even change your clothes,” Yeri nagged, and Changbin agreed with her. The two were a perfect pair, Yeri knew how to match Changbin’s playful side perfectly. She plopped beside her boyfriend and narrowed her eyes toward the nurse. “Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten today.”

Seungmin, sipping his water, nearly choked, planting the glass down with persistence. “I didn’t change my clothes, you think I had time to eat!? Why do you think I’m here!”

Insistent messy chatter erupted once more, the table full of so much life my cheeks hurt from smiling. Taking the plates to the group I sat them down, the finishing touches, and relished in the happy sounds from every mouth. Wasting no time they dug in, letting Seungmin fill his plate first, taking turns helping each other with their portions.

Folding my hands in front of myself, I stood a foot away and watched them indulge. Taking in every smile, every compliment, every little piece of this evening that brought me comfort, and I pocketed it with the intention to remember it on a bad day. Seungmin, Changbin, Jeongin… Friends who stuck by me through the worst. The last two years that pulled me through the ringer, a challenge in every waking moment. Yeri, who slipped right into our dynamic with ease, becoming everyone's mother, and Jisoo who I’m sure will slip into a role at any minute. They were my people. My family.

And then, at the end of the table, an empty chair beside him, sat Felix. A smile resting on his lips he watched me watch them. The blonde, baby faced Aussie, love of my life.

A month after our decision to take our time we dove headfirst into the deep end. Neither of us could help ourselves, certainly not when you spend every waking second together. Though, I won’t lie, the beginning was rough.

After Minho fought dirty and I was able to go home, Felix took me to my apartment. Changbin followed and helped us inside. Once things were deemed safe, and I was somewhat okay, he headed out for the night knowing I had Felix to look after me. I had a shower, that I’m ashamed to admit Felix took with me, a platonic shower. Nothing happened, he may have kissed me, and I may have kissed him back, and I may have had to sit on the edge of the bathtub because it was hard to stand for so long, but it doesn’t matter!

He helped me into bed and he laid with me, and I watched him fall asleep. Those long lashes brushing his freckled cheeks tore me to pieces. That night they weren’t enough to keep me where I was supposed to be, in bed, next to him.

Awake for hours, my mind raced, thoughts I couldn’t even begin to put together now that I’ve worked them out with Namjoon, the therapist I’ve been seeing for two years. He’d been able to fix most of what had happened, even though Felix tells me it was I who did the work…

The thoughts were coming toward me rapidly, faster than ever, and we still don’t know if it was purely just a panic attack or if it was the aftereffects of what had happened to me, and the oxygen to brain thing. I was near hallucinating, hearing my father, seeing him… Wondering if the fight had really been between Minho and I, or he and I… Your mind is the scariest place to be trapped in.

Living through this before, I knew only one way to cope. And it wasn’t by waking Felix up.

I snuck out of bed, almost toppled to the floor, and inched my way into the kitchen to that goddamned cabinet that was still full of my vice. Felix will tell me he found me before it got too bad, I don’t really remember anything after rolling off my mattress. Part of me thinks he’s saving my feelings by telling me it wasn’t bad, and that he himself doesn’t want to relive it by telling me the truth.

I forgive him for that.

We ended up in the emergency room anyways, so protecting my feelings or not I know it was awful. The only thing he’ll tell me is that he took me there because he loves me, and they were the only people capable of keeping me safe. I stayed there for a few days, and then I was sent back home.

Great system. Really, really great system.

It felt like I had been thrown straight back into the nightmare I had been living for a year. Sleepless nights, unable to leave the apartment, drinking myself unconscious… Was a wonder why Felix signed himself up for this trainwreck so quickly. Through the start of my hours in therapy it soon came to my realization that Jade was never the main issue like I had thought she was.

Did she cause some of my distress? Yes.

Did I cause most of her distress? Yes.

Did we both deserve that? No.

The main, huge, horrific issue that bitch slapped me across the face was my childhood. A topic that took months to unravel, and is still being unraveled. A terrible thing to uncover and relive, truly.

But, I’ve been sober for three months now so something must be working.

I find joy in having my friends, our friends, over for dinner once a month. Moving into Felix’s home at the start of this year it was his idea to start the tradition, to keep us all close. No one found interest in Haven anymore, so it was a win win. Our home became the spot for them to loiter, the couches for them to snooze on, the fridge to raid. And we loved every second of it.

It brought me genuine joy now that I could process it clearly.

Felix pulled out the chair beside him and wiggled a finger at me toward him. Giving him a small smile and a nod, I backed up to the fridge first to grab us drinks, not realizing Jisoo had beaten me there. She let out a quiet laugh as I bumped her with my back.

“So sorry,” I breathed, whipping myself around, taking an appropriate step back. Flashing me her heart shaped smile she shrugged it off.

“You’re good,” she pulled the fridge open and quizzed the selection with narrowed eyes, flashing me a look. “What are you drinkin’?”

Folding my hands over my front like they had been, I tilted my head and said, “I can grab it, don’t worry.”

A smirk grew on her pink lips as she eyed me. Reaching into the fridge she fumbled with a box for a second, then handed me a beer before grabbing two for herself. “Here, it’s Jeongin’s favorite, try it. We brought a whole case, he won’t miss one.” With a quick wink and a push of the fridge door, the crop top, jean wearing girl with long dark hair sauntered away, leaving me with an ice cold bottle of beer in my hand.

She’s lucky beer wouldn’t be my first choice.

It did look good though, the label talking about some brand new flavor supposed to be as crisp as ever… The brown tint of the bottle was all too familiar. It was a twist off, too. We didn’t have any bottle openers in the house. This one would pop right off in my hand. It’d be cold going down, and if the label told me the truth, it’d chill me out in seconds.

But, I didn’t need to be chill right now.

I was already chill.

She put this in my hand without knowing a thing. Our friends were allowed to bring their own drinks over, knowing we never kept any in the house, we allowed them to bring what they wanted as long as it left with them. No one offered me any, no one made a big deal over where to put them or whether or not they had to hide them.

I could control myself.

Changbin has lessened what he drinks around me, but I don’t force him to stop completely, he’s done that on his own. He tells me he’s started doing it for himself, but I know after watching me do what I’ve done I’m the reason why. Seungmin never really enjoyed drinking, but he’d have one occasionally if the day was special. Jeongin, the youngest of us all, compared to Changbin.

And Felix, he’s been sober since that one night at Haven where the two of us were first shoved within that tiny bathroom stall.

Opening this, drinking it, would undo three months. This is the longest I’ve gone without a single sip since I was probably fifteen years old. I felt proud of myself. It felt like a major accomplishment, and everyone around me seems to think so as well. On the date, Felix took me to dinner. Changbin and Yeri called, Seungmin stopped by before his nightshift, and Jeongin got to me a day or so after when he could make it by the house. He brought me pink frosted cupcakes and couldn’t stop hugging me.

I was going on month four. If it was to end with dinner with my boyfriend, phone calls and hugs from my best friends and pink frosted cupcakes… I wasn’t about to fuck it all up.

A deep, beautiful, lilted laugh from the table confirmed my decision.

I popped the beer back in the box and grabbed two cans of Sprite, then hightailed it over to my gorgeous boy. Pressing a kiss to his head, I cracked his open and slipped it into his hand. Amidst the chatter he glanced at it, smiled, then looked up at me.

This was what we’d bring each other in moments of gratitude. A reminder of all we’ve done, all we’ve been through, all we continue to get through, day by day. An ‘I love you’ of sorts.

Major props to Namjoon for suggesting we implement something special into our lives for occasions where words won’t give it justice. Something only Felix and I would understand.

Bending over halfway, my hair shielding his face from the room that paid no mind to us, I caught his smiling lips in a soft kiss, one that’d last me until the hours of night after our friends have gone, when I can finally take care of him in ways he always deserves.

Turns out he really is a good teacher.

“Got a question for you, better answer now!”

Changbin had a beer in his hand. On his feet, his chair pushed out from behind him, he held it in the air as the table sang back, “Yeah!”

Yeri sat backward, a hand covering her jaw as she laughed at her boyfriend, shamelessly singing along with him. Looking over at her Changbin pointed and shook his head.

“No, no!” he shouted, a shit eating grin on his face. “You’re the one who loves them so bad!” The three boys around the table were goners along with Yeri, unable to resist the energy Changbin filled the room with, their laughter loud and entertained. A smile rested on my lips, I didn’t sing along, but I was enjoying the show.

“Am I original?” Changbin leaned toward Yeri, acquiring his ‘Yeah!’ from the people who actually listened to this song. “Am I the only one?” Another ‘Yeah!’ sounded around the room, and with each word he closed in the space between him and Yeri. Then, he slipped around the back of her chair running a hand through her hair before he popped next to Felix, laying his head on his shoulder as he gave me a funny look. “Am I sexual?”

Raising my brows, my laughter finally cracked through, his aim of the game. I joined in the final ‘Yeah!’ and he shouted with glee. I wasn’t dumb, I knew who the Backstreet Boys were, Felix was obsessed with them much like Yeri was. He loved Kevin Richardson, or whatever his name was, which blew my mind because Nick Carter is right there. Not that I paid attention to it or anything.

“You like this song.” Felix’s smile still had the power to flip my stomach in cartwheels. Changbin hummed from his shoulder and pursed his lips.

“Do not,” I huffed, looking around the table. Jeongin sipped his beer and hummed the rest of the song to himself and Seungmin who took part in tapping the beat with his glass.

Changbin shared a devious look with Felix, Yeri giggling from her chair.

Together they both sang, “Rock your body right!”

Everyone sang, “Backstreets back…”

Lifting my gaze, planting it on my grinning, hopeful boyfriend, I raised my almost empty can and gave them what they wanted. “Alright!”

Felix lurched forward and grabbed onto my arms while Changbin held his up in triumph. “Hyunjin loves the Backstreet Boys!”

“Do not!” I sneered at my best friend, a smile pulling at my lips the entire time. Working his way back to his seat, Changbin finished his beer and shot me a glare.

“Do too, Mr. Nick Carter,” he said.

Seungmin smacked his hands together and laughed. “Are we shocked?” He gestured to Felix and the Aussie blushed. “He’s got a crush on that guy from Titanic, too.”

Felix giggled. “Leonardo DiCaprio.”

“Yeah, him,” Seungmin said, sitting back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

Jeongin narrowed his eyes, his attention on me. “Blondes,” he half whispered.

Holding up my hands, feeling my cheeks flush, I looked hurriedly from Felix to my friends in defense. “Whoa, whoa, hold up, I do not have a crush…” Felix took one of my hands in his.

“Darling,” he said, smooth as butter. My walls fell quick. “You have a type. And, you do have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. We went to see that movie in theatres three times, and I knew it wasn’t ‘cause it’s your new favorite love story.” He tried to copy my voice and got everyone to laugh.

Locked into his eyes, I nodded. “I do have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio.” Felix danced a finger around my palm looking at me like a lost puppy.

“You do, don’t you?” he asked, and when I nodded again, our friends answered with laughter.

“That,” Changbin held out his beer toward us, gathering our attention. “I love that, when you do that.”

Jeongin snickered. “You mean when Felix makes him all gushy?” Seungmin and Yeri agreed.

Trying to shake his hands away I sat forward and furrowed my brows. “Hey!” I’d lost the bark in my tone over these last few months. Everyone will tell me it’s a good thing. “I do not get gushy, you jerks! I am still…” Seungmin cleared his throat and pointed to Felix with his eyes. Turning my head, Felix’s eyes were slightly wide, his brows somewhat flipped.

“Keep going,” he said softly. Sitting back, I shook my head a bit and reached for his hand. One graze of his thumb over the boney back of my hand and I was down for the count. Then, a smirk grew on his lips and he threw our friends a look of success. “Twice!” Laughter roared from every corner of the room.

Groaning, I took a hand to my forehead. I couldn’t hide my smile, I knew it, too. He had me wrapped around his finger. Leaning over to him as our friends tossed around the discussion some more, my lips ghosted his ear and I whispered to him a promise of what I’d do to him later if he stopped his teasing. I’d never seen him straighten out faster, his cheeks going pink.

The best part of it all, we were equally wrapped around each other's fingers.

“Who’s got a kid?” Jisoo called out as she rounded the corner into the kitchen from the dimly lit hall. Felix’s grip tightened on my hand ever so slightly, but it didn’t stop my heart from sinking into the floor. The girl wore an innocent smile, unable to read the room as she sat down beside her boyfriend, having only gotten up moments prior to use the restroom. Jeongin threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in, whispering paragraphs into her ear.

This poor girl must’ve not been briefed before she walked into the building. Her smile wiped away halfway through Jeongin’s lament.

Changbin held up his beer once more. “Mr. Hwang Hyunjin,” he said with pride. Yeri smacked his bicep, not that her tiny hands had any effect over his insane muscle.

Jisoo lifted a hand to her lips, her eyes going wide. “I’m so sorry,” she said, shaking her head, her gaze darting between Felix and I. Jeongin, lips pulled into his mouth, gave us an apologetic look. Seungmin simply refilled his water and watched everything go down. His eyes were heavy, he’d be leaving shortly if he wasn’t crashing on our couch.

To everyone's surprise, I was calm. Turning my chin to peek at my boyfriend who was studying me, I asked between us, “Jeonghan’s door is open?”

Tracing circles into my palm, Felix poked his tongue through his lips and bobbed his head. “I don’t think you closed it when you put his new clothes in there yesterday.”

The room was my choice. My decision. Everything that went on with it, my choice. I usually keep the door shut. These past few weeks I’ve been keeping it closed unless I’m going in to work on it, or add something, or fix something.

Most of his shelves were stocked now. Clothes, shoes, hats… Anything that made me think of him while I was out, I bought. He’s even got clothes for when he grows up, when he gets bigger. Some of my stuff is folded in his drawers, old clothes from middle school and high school I’d kept in my possession after all this time, just in case.

I never knew what for. I wasn’t sure why I held onto the stuff that could somehow hold meaning until he was born. June 8th, 1997, the day I knew he’d be getting everything I own, everything that meant something to me. He deserved it all.

When I had moved out of my house before college I didn’t think to take anything with me other than what I had, what I owned personally. So many things that belonged to my mother, even my father, were all left behind, and now it's one of my biggest regrets. I have some photos of my childhood, some photos with my mother, but I longed to have something that belonged to her. Either something she wore, or something she loved.

Felix would reassure me and tell me how I am what she loved, and that’s enough, but I had plans to reach out to my family, her family, just one more time. Her younger sister, Jihyo, had to have something. If she did, Jeonghan would one day get that too.

Jeonghan. The name of my grandfather. My mother’s father. Essentially the man who saved me by sending me to college, getting me through years of school. The man who gave me my mother. Another regret… Not spending more time with him, or putting the effort in to see him more. Sometimes I wonder if my mother never got with my father would our story be different. She was raised on and around love, and ended up with him anyway.

Throughout this whole therapy process it’s been fun and somewhat bittersweet to learn how much I am exactly like her.

I don’t want to know what she'd have to say about my situation now.

I feel like I can hear her when the days go quiet.

Get that baby back.

Don’t you leave that girl alone with your child, he’s yours too.

You can do this. You can make it through this.

Fight for him.

There wasn’t a day in my life that I’d ever think about one day becoming a father. It was never in the plan. And, when I didn’t have a plan, it was never a thought. Who in their right mind would want to have a child with me? Two years ago, who would want to have a child with me?

And so, she did.

It was last January, 1997, I was here in the house on the couch sipping on a cocktail beside Felix with the radio playing and the phone rang. I was too tipsy to get up and logically answer the phone, so Felix did it. The call lasted no more than thirty seconds, and he appeared in the doorway to the living room like he’d seen a ghost.

He had told me it was Changbin, and that he had just spoken to Chan. Bahng Chan, Jade’s best friend. He took my glass from my hand and sat next to me, taking my arms in his hold. Chan had spoken with Han, who had spoken to Minho. Jade was pregnant, and she didn’t know who the father was.

Apparently it had taken them a while to get a hold of us, and to this day I don’t know how much of that reigns true. If they hadn’t gone through the grapevine in true Jade and Minho fashion they would’ve gotten to us straight away. Then I learned it had something to do with the both of them not wanting to deal with me. At the time, even through my drunk blindness I could see how immature that was.

A week or so later I met Minho face to face for the first time since he tried to kill me, though he’ll say that wasn’t the case. Jade had accompanied him, and Felix accompanied myself. In a doctor's office, bright, white and sterile, I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t speak two words to her, and it wasn’t because I was hungover. Stunned by the whole idea that this child could belong to me, the one that already made a little bump in her belly… I couldn’t fathom it.

That night Felix almost had to take me back to the emergency room.

And so, he was mine!

Now, one would think she’d take the easy way out here and do what she had to do to be rid of me like I longed to be rid of her. Why would she do this knowing that for eighteen years we’d be connected? We hadn’t seen each other in five months, and sure they weren’t awesome five months, but they were better than they were. Not having to see or deal with one another was the best thing to happen to us.

Not for nothing, her boyfriend tried to take me out.

But, that wasn’t the case!

Things were a mess until he was born, and even after he was born things were a mess. Nothing got better until this summer. Three months ago. After two years of me only hearing things through phone calls she’d have with Felix we were standing side by side in the parking lot of the grocery store down the street from Haven. I was a tad tipsy, it was a bad time. I had bottles in a bag and I was about to get into the driver's seat and take myself home.

I can understand why she’s been the way that she’s been.

Jade tried to hand me over a child support agreement from her lawyer that she pulled out of her front seat. I didn’t even hear one word of her reasoning, or why she was attempting to involve me when she had been going through Felix all this time. In fact, I said that to her. Angry, I yelled. Alcohol in my system didn’t really help my case. I ripped the paper in half and threw it on the ground. Once I was in my car, the bottles in the passenger seat, I swallowed my nausea and broke down. I sat in the parking lot and cried for an hour.

That’s when I realized I was ready to move the fuck on.

To grow the fuck up.

Only three months ago.

Jeonghan had a room, and I took care of it. Felix helped me when I asked and in turn would offer me a hand if it seemed I needed one- which was often. I could count on both hands how many times he’s snuck his way into the sky blue bedroom quietly and wrapped his arms around my waist and laid himself along my back to hold me while I cried.

He read me the instructions when I was forty five minutes deep into building the crib that would flip into a bed whenever Jeonghan grew big enough. Felix left me in the room alone when I started to take the box apart, though I’d catch him tiptoeing by the door every so often. It wasn’t until I was on the floor, hair tied back tight, holding two different pieces of the baby’s furniture that he decided to slip inside and start reading aloud where to put what.

Over the last three months I’ve put together a space for him I was proud of. To do it with Felix made it all the more special.

It’s been over a year. My priorities are straight.

I could be a dad.

I want to be a dad.

Felix would make a great one. Leading by his example, I’m sure I could too.

The house was vacant just shortly after ten o’clock. Seungmin took himself home an hour before everyone else, by the time Changbin was on his seventh song he could barely keep his head up. Thankfully he lived close by or else I’d be offering a ride home. Yeri ushered Changbin into their car before anything by Tupac could come out his mouth.

The poor guy wasn’t over it.

We fear he never will be.

With a kiss on Felix’s and I’s cheeks Yeri took him home, asking us to wish her luck, making sure the rest of her boyfriend's bottles were in his possession before they pulled away. Jeongin did the same while Jisoo held a gentle touch to my arm and spewed endless apologies for her fumble at the dinner table. The sweetest girl, she admitted her ignorance, that things between her and Innie were brand new and that she was trying her best to impress us.

Felix, accompanying Jeongin around the kitchen straightening things up, gathering their case of drinks, shot us a couple smiles. It wasn’t everyday I held up a conversation with someone I didn’t know for longer than a month or so. Jisoo seemed to care, and with how she latched onto Jeongin’s arm and fluttered her lashes toward him when he took to her side, I accepted that she was alright.

“You are in trouble for letting me do those things,” she said to him.

Jeongin, eyes shooting open wide, gestured between her and I. “I didn’t… It’s just that’s his business, I didn’t know… How am I in trouble? I was-”

“No one is in trouble,” I smiled at them both. “She’s cool,” I had said to Jeongin. “If she’s sticking around she can know.” Felix later gently scolded me for potentially beginning a lovers spat between the two. Flashing him a mischievous grin I pulled at his lip with my thumb and kissed him like I’d been longing to all night.

Though it didn’t last long.

We had a kitchen to clean and a house to put back together. Dishes were washed and dried while he sung the goddamned Backstreet Boys to himself, and the floors were swept and the table was wiped while I swallowed my smile, not letting him know how much I really fucking loved hearing him sing the goddamned Backstreet Boys to himself. Dancing around one another, moving in perfect rhythm to reset our lives that were happily disheveled for the evening, we ended up down our hallway in front of Jeonghan’s bedroom. The open door I forgot to close after I put his new clothes away in his drawers.

This was normal.

One of us, usually me, is standing here, staring into the vacant space, wondering when he’d come around to fill it. Live in it. Wondering when I’d be allowed to show it to him. Allowed to bring him here, bring him into our life, teach him, hold him.

She wouldn’t let me have him.

And not one part of me could blame her.

“She doesn’t hear anything you tell her,” I mumbled, leaning into Felix’s touch at my side.

Felix pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Keep talking.”

“I hear you on the phone,” I continued, gazing at the blue striped sheets on the mattress in the chestnut wood crib. “Leaving messages, even talking to him. Neither of them believe you.”

Taking a deep breath, keeping his hand over my back, Felix said, “A lot has happened. They weren’t here next to you throughout this last year.”

“No, they weren’t,” I spat, looking down at him. “They were playing house with my son.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, tone steady. “He’s Jade’s son, too.” He may as well have reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed it until it stopped beating. I knew he didn’t mean it. He was the voice of reason, my voice of reason, why I’ve been keeping such a good track record lately. “She’s his mother.”

A sigh fell from my lips, one in relation with a cry. “I wanna be his dad.”

Gripping the fabric of my shirt Felix gave me the tiniest smile, then lured me into our bedroom. “I know, darling,” he whispered.

Moving in the quiet, the peace, we readied ourselves for bed, handsy as ever without a single word spoken as we brushed our teeth and washed our faces. Like clockwork, after I took my hair down, he gave me the little white pill from the tall orange bottle in the medicine cabinet and kissed the back of my hand after I’d taken it. Lacing his fingers in mine he pulled me to the bed and threw the covers back, the two of us cozying up in the center, a plethora of pillows surrounding us now that mine lived here too.

“The last time I spoke with Rachel,” our lawyer we’ve been working with, “She told me that in another month they’d revisit… All of it.” Felix laid himself over my side, his cheek fitting perfectly into the valley where my neck meets my shoulder. “It’s been a month. I’ve been sober longer than that. You’ve told them that.” He tilted his chin to look at me, his eyebrows a bit low. “You told them that, the last time they called. When… Yesterday?”

Felix was our middle man. He had to be our middle man. Jade refused to talk directly with me, but she had to contact us somehow. He’s given them so much advice, so much of our money, and he’s heard updates about Jeonghan that he’d relay to me if I was in a good mood. Curious how she’d keep the child away from me, but then slip things to Felix in a hushed voice as if she was hiding it from her fiance.

“They still have a lot to work through, Hyunjin,” Felix said. “For them it’s been over a year.”

“Okay?!” I huffed. Too harshly I might add, because Felix moved when my chest rose. “A year ago I had a foot in the grave.” He didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked back up at me, and I down at him. “They have a lot to work through,” I sighed.

“They do, give them time.” Felix kissed my shoulder. “You’ve been doing a really, really good job, Hyunjin. Give yourself some credit.”

Three months was good. I felt good. All of the people in my life agreed.

I have been doing a good job.

I just prayed it’d all be worth it.

“You’ve put together his room so that when the time comes you’re prepared,” Felix’s voice fell to a whisper. Gazing down at his loving brown eyes, I couldn’t fight back my smile. “He’s got bath toys waiting for him under the bathroom sink. Sippy cups in the cabinets.”

I was prepared. We were ready. We could do this.

“We need a high chair,” I breathed, lurching forward, turning over so I was facing him.

Felix giggled, the sound painting my cheeks pink. “We’ll get one. We can go this week.” He smoothed a hand over my cheek and drug his thumb beneath my bottom lashes.

“Thursday?”

“Thursday.”

Graco. Graco. Graco.

The aisles stretched on for miles. Felix kept up with my pace at my side, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Boots squeaking on the scuffed tile of the store's floor, I messed with the long sleeves of my black shirt and darted my eyes across the shelves, dodging the occasional mother with a hoard of children surrounding her.

We’ve nearly circled the entire store, after being in this building only two other times, I had no idea where to go. I wanted the best. Jeonghan had to have the best.

“Y’all need some help?” A woman asked Felix and I as we turned around a corner into an aisle full of bottles and kitchen stuff. Scanning the things hanging along the walls, I sighed, and Felix stepped around me, his sunshine charm overcoming her.

With a soft smile he asked, “Do you happen to carry those Graco high chairs?”

Her short brown bob that curled perfectly beneath her cheerful cheeks bounced with delight as she nodded. “‘Course we do, hon. They’re all anyone wants right now, but you might not find them out here.” She gestured around her. “Let me give you a hand, follow me.” Bustling by, she had to turn her chin almost all the way up to smile at me.

Prime customer service. I wasn’t on the receiving end of an uneasy look. Felix got the smiles, the random extroverts swarming to his side if we were out and about. I usually lingered behind like some kind of shadow until he’d decide whether or not the person was worthy of our time, then he’d pull me into the conversation.

This lady, no older than forty, in a red dress with strappy sandals on her feet didn’t seem to care. Her smile was friendly. She could see me.

“Who’re we looking for?” Asking us questions as we weaved through the aisles toward the back of the store, Felix and I shared a few looks as her curiosity strangled us. “Baby shower gift? Who’s having the little one?”

Approaching a quieter part of the store, I gulped and pressed my hands to my jeans. “For my son,” I said, and my heart leapt out of my chest. A smile pricked my lips as the woman turned with a grin on her cheeks. Felix, looking between us, wore pride on his face. Though I watched him try to hide it.

“How wonderful,” she said. Taking us through a makeshift wall of boxes, she gestured up toward a few Graco high chairs on the top of the piles of other brands, a place only I’d be able to reach. “Thank goodness you’re here,” she laughed, holding her hands up to spot me as I shimmied it off the wobbling towers. Light in my arms, I shifted the box to my hip and shrugged, unsure of what to say.

“Can’t tell you how often he has to do that for me,” Felix laughed, which in turn made the woman laugh as well. “Thank you for the help.”

“No worries,” she said, eyes flickering from Felix to me. “So, where is the little guy?”

Blinking, I glanced around at the other boxes and names of brands that were somewhat familiar to me now, I said, “Probably at home with his mom.”

“Probably,” the woman let out a single laugh. She was trying to make jokes, I knew she was, but that didn’t stop it from making me anxious. “Don’t you know where your son is?” I could hear it in her voice. It was a joke. A joke. She didn’t know what happened. She didn’t know me at all. Felix rubbed a hand over his jaw, his head turning from me to her, waiting.

“Uh,” I stammered, looking away from her as I said, “His mom and I aren’t… together.”

She was unphased. Without missing a beat she said, “Oh, I see, so this is for your place.” Intaking a breath, I nodded my head. Felix crossed his arms over his chest. “Listen, I get it. My sister had a baby with a boy she went to school with. They were both young, yanno? They were a disaster. They couldn’t have one conversation civilly, it was argument city, I swear.” Gulping, electricity sparked in my veins.

As if Felix could feel it, he took a step closer to me all while trying to be polite and listen to this woman's life story. She made herself comfy, leaning against one of the boxes.

“My sister, God bless her, she thinks she’s better than everyone,” she rolled her eyes. “I liked the guy, sure it was unconventional and our mother was mortified, but he was nice. It wasn’t his fault he was swamped with school, trying to work, and now having a child on top of it all. They got married, and he tried so hard, but my sister, she wasn’t having any of it. Poor guy couldn’t hold a job because he was so busy, so she took the kid away from him.”

I couldn’t feel my breath through my lips. “Where is he now?”

“I still see him around from time to time, he’s stayed in the area for the time being,” she shrugged. “He’s doing alright, but I think he’s waiting for her to come back. I saw him a couple of weeks ago, he’s living in Delo. We caught up at the grocery store, he asked me how I was, he asked me how his kid was…”

Felix took a hand through his hair, spinning in a small, slow circle. He wanted this to be over, I could feel the energy coming off of him.

“Did you tell him?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I didn’t have much to say,” she said, adjusting a dangling earring hanging from her left ear. “My sister moved into Tamoe when his daughter was, like, five. She’s dating someone else now, she’s barely talked to any of us, her family, since she moved. Can’t even tell you the amount of guys she’s tried to be with between him and the poor sap she’s got now. He’s got a kid, too. She can barely handle one, can’t wait to see what happens when she’s dealing with two of them.”

“He has no idea, the… the daughter's father?”

She shrugged. “I told him everything. He deserved to know whatever I could give him. That’s his flesh and blood. Like I said, he’s a good guy. A good guy who bad things have happened to.”

My blood ran cold.

“Thank you for this,” Felix cut in, taking the highchair from my arms. The woman gave him a pleasantry in response and propped a hand on her hip. “Ready, darling?” Looking up at me, stepping almost in front of my gaze that had fallen to the floor, empty, Felix tried to smile.

Looking to the woman before turning on my heels, I caught her curious eyes trying to figure us out.

Once we checked out I darted from the store with Felix again trying to keep up with my pace. I could feel the lightning in my veins. Sick to my stomach, I couldn’t stop myself.

“Do we want to stop by Jihyo’s today? We’re closeby, we can head there now and then get lunch somewhere?”

My lips were glued shut.

“She said she’s got clothes and stuff, I know that,” Felix continued, placing the box into the trunk I opened for him. It was a small space, the trunk of the blue sports car I had revived back to life, but thankfully it fit. “Beomgyu’s grown out of everything,” his laugh didn’t make me smile this time, “And, she has toys on toys he doesn’t want anymore.” He looked at me with the sweetest grin. “Toys she said he wants to give to his baby cousin. It’d be nice to go see them, Jungkook was asking for you.” That kid had a bit of my mom in him, too. Jihyo and my mother were almost identical. Seven years between them, they were best friends. Raised as best friends. She never got to meet her nephews. It was up to me to bring her to them, my responsibility to keep that bond there. Unlike my failure with my grandfather, I intended to do my best with Jihyo and her kids, but I didn’t make any promises. Part of me knows that Jihyo knows that.

But, I mean, Beomgyu was adorable. An ankle biter that screamed when he spoke. Jungkook was a cool kid, too, and hearing he was asking for me filled me with some sort of joy. They didn’t have their father around, so it really was up to me to stick around. It wasn’t my intention to fill that role, I didn’t want to act as a father to them, but within these last three months I’ve learned what a huge hole it is that I’m filling for them.

One that I wanted with my own son.

“Please don’t internalize anything that woman was saying,” Felix breathed as we slipped into the car. “I didn’t think we’d get a life story today. Don’t internalize it.”

“I’m not,” I grumbled.

Felix tugged his seatbelt over his chest and shot me a look. “I know that face, Hyunjin.”

Clicking my own belt into place, I started the car and tried to smile at him. The sarcasm was evident. “She could take him.”

“Court won’t let her do that,” Felix said, always ready with the facts that seemed to slip my brain. “She can’t move far away from you. She’s got full custody, but you still have some boundaries.” His voice lowered drastically. “You didn’t give everything up.”

I scoffed. “I was drunk when I gave it all up.”

“And now you’re not,” he added quickly. “Now you can think clearly. That story that lady told us is not you. It’s not going to happen to you.”

“Felix, they’re engaged already!” I snapped, throwing my hands up. “What the fuck do you think happens next! She’s never wanted to stay here, around here. Minho, either. The two of them are probably already thinking about getting on a plane.”

“Take a deep breath,” he said, calm as ever. “Please. Let’s talk this out.”

A scary feeling I didn’t like roiled in my gut. Jade could take him and run. I could lose him forever, and with what the court already knows about me, it wasn’t looking good. My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I backed out of the parking spot and started for the road. Everything Felix was saying was going in one ear and out the other, I couldn’t hold onto any of it.

She was going to take my son.

She was going to take Jeonghan away from me.

“The next time you go to court everything will be revised. All of it.” Felix truly was incredible. His voice never shook. Always level headed, he looked at things realistically. Something I could never do. “They’ll see the progress you’ve made, we’ll bring everything with us, and maybe they’ll reconsider visitation.”

At a stop sign, I waited for pedestrians to cross the street, then mumbled, “Mm, visitation. Good idea.”

I turned the other way, away from our home. Felix sat forward.

“Don’t you dare, you take us home,” he said. “I’ll call her when we get there.” I kept going. None of what he said got through to me. I was driving to Minho’s. “Hyunjin, this is not the way to do this. You’ll put yourself in a deeper hole. You want things to get better, you leave them alone and let your lawyers do their part. But, in order for that to happen, you have to do your part.”

I couldn’t help myself. Blind with sickness, deaf to all worries.

I didn’t even know if anyone would be home, I hadn’t been here in years.

Pulling up into the driveway next to the Range Rover that ruined my life, they were home.

A conversation. I just needed to talk to her.

Felix tried and tried to keep me in the car. But, I couldn’t stop.

Slamming the door shut I hurried for the stairs, but the back door to Minhos flew open before I could get up a single one.

“What the fuck do you want, Hyunjin?” Jade spat, her stance wide at the top of the stairs as if she was trying to block me from barging inside. Looking up at her from the ground, I drug my tongue across my bottom lip and tried to smile.

Three months was a long time. I looked different than the last time she saw me, more aware. She’d be able to tell I was better, doing better.

She looked good. Beautiful, as usual. Her cheeks were a tad fuller, her hair tied back, but still flowing with life, and she wore her pajamas. I’ve interrupted a quiet morning. My heart squeezed. She was glowing. A mother.

Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I grabbed onto both railings and lifted a foot to the bottom stair, hoping to appear as casual as possible. She copied me, planting her hands on the railings. Eyebrows low, living right above her bright eyes, she was angry.

“Answer the question,” she spat, her eyes going sharp.

“Not even a hello,” I sighed, feeling the jerk come out of me. Trying to will it away, I kept trying to smile. “You’ve changed.” It fell from my lips before I could stop it.

“I haven’t heard from you in three months, you don’t deserve a hello,” she said. Twisting my brows in confusion, I gave her a look. She’s spoken with Felix weekly. She’s heard about us, about me. “What the fuck do you want, before I call the cops.”

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head to the side and whispered, “I want my son.”

A loud, humorless cackle of disbelief escaped her. Tossing her head backward, she sighed heavily and couldn’t hide her fury that manifested as a maniacal grin.

“You’re unbelievable,” she said.

“I want my son,” I said a bit louder, tightening my grip on the posts. She was laughing, and I was totally serious.

“Then you should’ve called the judge,” she threw in my face. “Three months, Hyunjin. Thats a lot of time to miss, you broke the fucking agreement, and now you show up without permission, which is also against the agreement, and demand me to give you my son.”

My son.

She was going to take him.

“Our lawyers alway said that if we could work it out on our own we wouldn’t need to go to court,” I said, confusion laced in my voice. Her fingers dug into the wooden posts.

“I’m dealing with you, I have to go to court,” she grilled. “My son is a year and three months old. He's going to start recognizing who is and isn’t around.”

“That’s why I’m here,” I shrugged. Groaning audibly, she laughed again.

“It’s damaging, Hyunjin,” Jade shook her head. “You come around every few months like he’s a dog who’ll be excited to see you no matter how long you’ve been gone. He's a baby, this shit is psychologically damaging and I won’t let it happen to my son.”

“Our son,” I smized, knowing the words would get under her skin. The jerk was here. If she was going to take him, this is how it would be. “Jeonghan. You named him after my grandfather. My mother’s father.” She hardened her glare and clenched her jaw.

A laugh came from the house, the door behind Jade. A baby’s laugh, Jeonghan’s laugh, my sons laugh. The most beautiful sound I think I’ve ever heard.

He wasn’t in the house alone. Of course he wasn’t, babies couldn’t be left alone. Minho was here. This was his house. Jeonghan was in there, laughing with the guy who walked away from me while I was unconscious on the floor. Because of him.

“Oh, wow, he’s actually home?” I scoffed. “Thought he took any chance he could get to go to work. I heard flirting with customers for tips doesn’t make you much.”

“You should really get your facts straight before you try to piss me off,” she said, firing back quickly, raising her brows. “Where do you get your information from? Minho hasn’t worked at the bar for like six months.” Prodding my cheek with my tongue, I shook his head and glanced away.

He was in there with him.

“Let me have him, I’ll bring him back tomorrow,” I said, shifting only my eyes over to her. The buzzing beneath my skin threatened to bubble over.

She grinned and nodded toward the car. “You even have a carseat? A crib? Bottles? Formula? Maybe a stroller?” Opening my mouth to speak, she cut me right off. “What do you even need him for? You didn’t want him!”

Slamming my fists into the posts, I wanted to scream, and I did.

“What if I want him now, dammit?!”

Horrible idea, really.

The door creaked open behind her, and he came out. With Jeonghan in his arms. A bottle was in his mouth, he was holding it himself all cozy in Minho’s hold, fitting right in the hook of his arm.

“What’s going on?” Minho asked, looking down at me with disgust.

Jeonghan. My baby.

Dark hair brushed over his head. His cheeks were soft, squeezable, and how I longed to get my hands on them. He was awake, alert, his deep brown eyes looking up at Minho, the man who’s been, hopefully, caring for him the last year.

“I don’t appreciate the noise,” Minho nearly growled. “Especially while there’s children present.”

Snapping out of my gaze, I rolled his eyes.

“It’s ten in the fucking morning,” I said, glaring at him.

“Language?” Minho furrowed his brows.

“Please, you live with this one,” I pointed to Jade, “She’s no fucking Mary Poppins. When did you get so soft, Min?”

Titling my head to the side, I smirked. I forced our past out through my glare, reminding him of all he’s done with one singular look in milliseconds.

“A lot changes when you become a father,” Minho narrowed his eyes. “But I don’t need to explain, you already get it, don’t you?”

Stepping up onto the bottom stair, I opened my mouth, ready to unload his life before him and Jade, vocally express what he did to me, because I know the sweetest, most awesome little fun fact.

Jade has no recollection of what he had done to me.

She doesn’t know.

The man holding our son wrapped his hands around my neck, obstructed my fucking airway until I was out cold. Then, from what I’ve heard, Chan grabbed him and took him away. Minho left me there. Chan ended up coming back, that good guy curse, and checked in with Seungmin to make sure I was breathing. Then, he was gone.

Minho left me there.

Jade left me there.

She didn’t know.

The passenger door of the car slammed shut, gathering everyone's attention from the porch.

“Hyunjin,” Felix called out to me. “Let’s go.” He shared a look with Jade, as if he was apologizing to her. My heart began to crack in two, more than it had when Minho brought Jeonghan out to the porch.

“Really?” Jade frowned.

Felix shrugged. “I’m sorry,” he said, giving his head a small shake. “I tried to stop this.”

“Always,” I groaned, rolling my head backward. “You always have to take her side.” Felix took three steps closer to me, folding his arms.

“I do.” Looking back at Jade, his eyes flickered to Jeonghan for a second, a breath corrupting him, then he looked back to Jade. “Y’okay?”

“Be a lot better if I had a warning,” she said. Closing his eyes, Felix shrugged and shook his head again.

“We weren’t coming here,” Felix muttered, sending a glare toward me, but I was grilling him right back. “Let’s go. I told you how to go about this, this isn’t it. I’m driving us home.”

Behind Jade the baby cooed and shifted himself around in Minho’s arms to look where Felix’s voice was coming from. The bottle fell from his lips, Minho catching it quickly before it rolled onto the ground.

Jeonghan lifted a finger and pointed toward Felix, uttering a quiet, “Who?”

It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

I could see his whole face now.

God, he was my mom.

He was me.

But, he wore Jade in his face, his shape.

Sharing a look with Minho, she took a breath and said, “That’s Felix.”

“Vee-liss,” Jeonghan tried to repeat, making Minho chuckle and my stomach roll. His inquisitive little eyes scanned his surroundings, and once they found Jade he reached out his arms. “Mama,” he cooed.

Mama.

I felt like melting to the ground.

She scooped him into her arms and swapped her smile for a cold glare when she looked down at me.

He was… everything. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him.

No words could begin to describe the foreign warmth in my chest.

“He's beautiful,” I whispered, not wanting to disturb his peace as he looked around the yard.

Sighing, Jade nodded.

“He looks like you,” I said, pulling my eyes away from the baby for half a second to look up at her.

She scoffed and pulled a silly face. “Not in the slightest.”

I laughed, and Jeonghan searched for me. His big eyes met mine for the first time.

Breath hitching in my throat, I smiled at him.

He lifted a finger to point at me and asked, “Who?”

A lump formed in my throat.

My own flesh and blood.

Jade gulped.

No one seemed to be able to speak aside from the one year old.

“Who?” He asked again, looking to Jade for instruction.

“Jinnie,” she muttered as Jeonghan was about to ask for the third time.

Placing one hand on her shoulder and the other over her heart, Jeonghan looked at me and gave me a once over. I wanted to laugh, but I shoved it away.

“Chi-nny,” Jeonghan said.

“That’s me,” I breathed.

“Chi-nny, well, Mama,” he said, his tone sad, laying his head down on Jade's shoulder.

“Time to go inside,” Minho suggested, smoothing a hand over both of their backs. Eyeing his hand on Jeonghan's back, I furrowed my brows.

“Why?” I asked.

“Jinnie, yell, Mama,” Jade repeated clearly for me to hear, bobbing her head with a sureness.

“What!” I screwed his face up in confusion, raising my voice.

“He remembers you,” she shrugged.

I sucked in a breath. “Remembers… me?”

She rolled her eyes and said, “We were in the parking lot of the grocery store. I was picking up his birthday cake, you were visiting the liquor store next door.” I broke my gaze and looked at the stairs. “It was the first time in a long time I’d caught you, so I tried to give you the paperwork.”

“You took it from her, ripped it to pieces and screamed in her face,” Minho added. “While this one watched from the window.”

Jeonghan turned around to look at Minho, a grin breaking out onto his chubby cheeks. “Dada,” he cooed, holding out a hand toward him.

What?

Whipping my head up in a flash, I burned my eyes into Minho’s.

“Really?” I grit my teeth. “Kid calls you Dada? I’m half of him, and I get Jinnie?”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, taking three more steps toward the stairs. “Let’s go.”

I took a step, getting closer as I rose on the stairs. Behind Jade, Minho pulled her aside, taking her place at the top of the staircase. His arms fanned out to hold onto the railings, asserting his dominance.

“You don’t deserve that title,” Minho grilled, narrowing his eyes. “And last time I checked, you aren’t listed on the birth certificate, did you forget about that?”

I did. I was drunk.

I shot Jade a glare, Jeonghan watching me from her hip.

“Did you forget the kid’s a product of her cheating on you?” My expression broke out into a grin. “Remember that?” I took another step up the porch, and just before I was eye level with Minho, who’s temper was rising by the millisecond, Felix was grabbing onto my wrist.

Minho’s grip on the railings relaxed, color returning to his knuckles as he said, “You’ve gone soft, Jinnie.” Teasing me with his own words, the nickname, what Jade used to call me, stabbed me in the chest. “Felix wear the pants now?” he said while Felix pulled me down to the grass. Felix hit him with a glare.

“Sorry, Lix,” Minho said softly after a look to Jade, shaking his head.

Felix wrapped an arm around my back and parted his lips to speak, until a car whizzing down the street took the scene. It came to a screeching stop at the curb.

He needs to get that fixed. Chan.

“Wonderful,” I chuckled, grabbing onto Felix.

The car door slammed shut behind him, his expression angry, on defense as he started up the lawn.

Felix sighed in frustration.

“We’re leaving,” he raised his voice, holding a hand up to Chan.

“Damn right you’re leaving,” Chan said, puffing his chest, stopping beside my car.

Jeonghan shouted, “ANNIE!”

Snapping my neck, he was sitting up in Jade’s arms holding his out to Chan. Angry Chan waiting for us by the car, who was here to see angry Minho standing on the porch with my son. Jade was angry, too. They were all so angry.

Felix pulled me to the car. I couldn’t feel my fingers, or my face.

We were leaving, and Jeonghan was staying here with these angry people.

“Let me get the door for ya,” Chan snickered, yanking the passenger door of the sports car open. Felix ignored him.

Gripping the edge of the door, resisting Felix’s attempt to sit me down, I frowned, watching the porch. My baby was up there, and I was leaving him here.

“Darling, in the car, please,” Felix whispered to me. “I promise you, we will fix this. I promise. But, I need you to get in the car.”

“Need some help?” Chan questioned, rounding the door to grab onto my arms, yanking them off of the door.

I snapped.

Tearing my eyes of off my son I pushed Chan away by the chest. The smirk he wore spurred me on. Throwing a hand back, somewhat of a fist, I tossed it toward him, but he caught it, and he laughed.

Flinching, Felix groaned and shoved Chan backward himself with his hip.

“Fuck off!” he shouted at him. “Chan, fuck off!”

Holding his hands up, Chan smized and took two steps back.

“I like this Felix,” he said. “Control your man, yeah? You leave my family alone.”

He got me in the car.

I couldn’t breathe.

Felix got in the car, and took my hand. “Deep breaths.”

Wet hair dangled on my bare shoulders where I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of green tea in front of me. Feet tucked up onto the chair, my arms were wrapped around my sweats, my chin resting on a knee while my gaze rested on the table.

Felix moved about the kitchen, putting dinner together for us to share.

He didn’t sing.

We didn’t talk about what happened. The drive home was silent, aside from my breaths. When we arrived home he helped me out of the car and into the house. We spent too much time on the couch, me buried in his chest, sobbing.

I felt stupid.

It was stupid, no matter what positive affirmation Namjoon or Felix wanted to feed me.

What the fuck was I thinking?

After a shower, I found myself here.

“I’m sorry,” I said, interrupting the peace that had made itself comfortable around us.

Felix glanced up from the counter. “Don’t be,” he said. “You’re allowed to hurt.”

“But…” Sighing, I dropped a leg to the floor and sat up, stretching a hand across the table to hold onto the warm mug of tea. Felix watched me grab it and take a sip.

“Tell me,” he said when I put the mug down, recognizing I’d need help pushing the words out.

“I shouldn’t… Shouldn’t have lost my temper,” I said, meeting his gaze. “I should’ve listened to you. Shouldn’t have gone there, at all.”

Felix pursed his lips, focusing back on his work at the counter. “Do you regret it?”

Thinking to myself, I placed a finger between my teeth and glanced about the room, his house that was turning into ours as the days passed by. I shook my head. “I don’t. Is that horrible?” He didn’t answer, he only encouraged me to keep going with a smile. “I liked it when you used to tell me what I was feeling, and if it was wrong.” Dropping my chin, I shot him a look out my lashes and he laughed.

“You have to tell me, darling,” he shrugged. “I’m not allowed to do that anymore. You know what you’re feeling, you know if it’s wrong. Though…” his voice trailed off, and he danced his gaze upward in thought, “If you care so passionately about something, and you’re fighting for it… I don’t see how it’d be so horrible.”

The smile that found my lips made him roll his eyes. “Thank you.”

He jutted the knife in his hand toward me. “That was not me telling you how to feel.”

“Sure,” I winked, and the knife almost fell to the floor. He caught it, flustered, and brushed the moment off with a gentle laugh.

Standing to my feet, I made it a point to drink more of the tea Felix had made me before I took myself to his side, dragging a finger over the back of his hand that worked the knife. He paused, smiling, and gave me a look over his shoulder. My eyes, glued to his hands, avoided his. Wrapping my other arm around his front, I stood behind him and rested my weight against his back, letting my hand live over his, working with his as one.

Laying my cheek to his hair, I basked in his warmth, allowing my other hand to slip beneath his shirt, resting over his belly, keeping him close to me.

“Twenty seconds,” I whispered, and he stopped moving altogether.

Without another word he had spun around in my arms, slipping his around my shoulders, yanking me into his grasp. His fingers slid into my hair, keeping us pressed cheek to cheek until I dropped my head and buried it into his neck, my hands pressing into the small of his back. I could feel him taking deep breaths, the steady beat of his heart keeping mine in the same rhythm. Soon enough I was breathing in time with him.

Twenty seconds came and went, but we didn’t move.

Not until the phone rang.

Felix expressed his disappointment with a sigh as I pulled away. His brown eyes, shinier now that they were full of tears, gave me the sappiest look.

Tipping my chin down, I placed a finger beneath his and lifted his lips to my own. “I love you,” I whispered, my heart erupting into flames within my chest.

Felix kissed me one more time, smiling. “I love you.”

Leaving him for the phone, the loss of his warmth killing me internally, he turned himself toward the counter to continue his work. A steady hum started to come out of him. I prayed he’d start to sing.

Lifting the phone off the wall opposite Felix, I rested my hip against the counter and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I asked, voice more lifted than before as I took in the view of Felix’s backside. A smile found my lips when he began to bop his head to his own voice.

“Hello? Hyunjin?”

The phone nearly slipped from my grip.

“Jade?” I choked out. Felix whirled himself around, eyes wide.

“Yeah, Jinnie, it’s me.” Her voice was quiet, and partially broken. Felix was by my side in seconds with an open hand.

“H-hang on, Felix is here, here, I’ll give-”

“No.” She cut me clean off, stopping me. “I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you.”

~ july 5th, 2021 ~

“You should not have come with me,” I muttered as I pulled my car up to a stone edged curb where dozens of other SUVs were parked. The unnecessarily big house was decorated in pink balloons, streamers and banners alike. Music pumped from the backyard, we could hear it over our radio. An offended sort of laugh came out of my son.

“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan’s eyes bugged out of his head as he yanked off his seatbelt. “I know these people.”

Grinding my teeth I followed suit and took my belt off, shutting the car off and opening my door. Sure enough, a song from the latest popstar at the height of her career poured into the car from the yard full of people. Their chatter could also be heard from here.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people,” I narrowed my eyes. Clenching his jaw, his mother came out of him. At least my appearance still reigned superior. Paired with his dark brown hair pulled into a bun on the back of his head, he would forever be my twin. “This is always a toss up.”

Jeonghan pulled his lips tight. “He’s my cousin. I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve had to do this without you before. I’d rather be here with you then have you come alone.”

Taking a breath, I almost had one of those I can’t believe he came from me moments. Felix had taught him so much. I, me, myself, I’ve taught him so much. Even his mother and his stepfather, as much as I still hate to admit it to this day. Looking over my shoulder, taking into account what cars were here and which ones weren’t, I gave him a nod.

“Okay, thank you,” I said. “Just… be you.”

He smiled, his eyes curving upward. “Always,” he said happily, shoving my shoulder.

“Do you think they did this one big enough?” I asked him as we ascended the paved driveway. Giving me a silly look, he laughed.

My boy was always happy.

Now at twenty four, still wanting to hang around both sets of parents, he was happy. He had a girlfriend now, one he brought around occasionally. It was still new, but she was great. I couldn’t wait for the day Felix and I could tell her about Jeonghan’s gay crisis he had at fifteen. At the time it wasn’t funny, but now whenever he brings it up another detail is added that has the potential to cripple every audience. He was unapologetically himself. Very little scared him, and I admired him for that.

“Nothing is ever too big for Sana,” Jeonghan breathed, mounting the grey brick layered steps. Glancing up at the banner that hung in the front door alcove, pink and bright and sparkling, with a ‘Happy Birthday Rose’ in the center, I huffed a laugh.

“Think we’re in the wrong color,” I said quietly. Jeonghan with a hand on the doorknob, pushed the heavy door open and glanced back at me pointing up to the banner. Widening his eyes and his grin, he looked at our matching dark clothes and laughed aloud, the sound echoing as we stepped into the air conditioned home.

Small children we didn’t recognize ran by us without a care, one almost taking my boy out by the knee. Tucking his hands over his chest he stepped closer to me and swallowed another laugh. Shooting him a knowing look we started through the home, large, spacey, echoey, yet full of so much stuff that one had to weave through each room. The tall walls painted white had family photos hanging up, portraits of two forced smiles holding their babies brought into a world where they’d one day succumb to the same fate as my Jeonghan.

It wasn’t a thing yet, but I could feel it.

That poor boy. Not a photo was genuine.

Poor boy, but good man.

I wondered if he’d let me have a conversation with him, too.

Leading Jeonghan into the kitchen where things fell quiet, a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders with an exasperated sigh. Shorter than me, straight hair hung in front of his naturally big eyes. His strung out eyes.

“I didn’t expect you to get here so fast,” Taehyun said, breathless. His fingers dug into the bone of my shoulders. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, keeping watch over the entire situation. My boy had a sharp brain, he was observant. In moments like this he’d be able to relay every detail back to me once it was over.

Putting my hands over Taehyuns, I took them off of me and returned them to his personal space. “Are you okay?” I asked. He was high, but that was normal. Something else had happened. He was fuming.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, scratching the top of his head, then at his arms. “I’m good. Why?”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Taehyun,” I said, lowering my chin. He laughed, a singular sound, then shrugged. I wasn’t going to get anything out of him. Poor boy couldn’t speak for himself.

“My sister just left,” he sneered, and his jaw set into place.

Right. That.

He gestured behind him. “Beomgyu’s there,” he said. “Bathroom. I can’t get him out.” Jeonghan started for the hall, looking back at us for permission. With a nod I told him he could go. Shifting my eyes back to fidgeting Taehyun who couldn’t make himself comfortable, he said, “It’s getting worse.”

“For who?” I asked inconspicuously, eyeing the way he moved his hands over his skin. “Beomgyu, or you?”

Taehyun’s glare wanted to kill me if the boy could’ve wielded the power. “Him, damn.” He folded his skinny arms over his chest and did his best to stand still. “He was high when he got here, then he started drinking. She showed up, and he was a mess.”

“Did they speak?”

Taehyun narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck do you think?”

He’s lucky his words were ineffective over me. If I was Jeonghan’s age or younger I’d attempt to kick his ass. At least Taehyun didn’t have the strength to choke me unconscious, not in his current state anyway.

“Okay, well did he see the kids? He didn’t do anything, did he?”

Taehyun pursed his lips and shook his head. “He never does. He just watches them.” With a side eye to myself, he muttered, “She had another baby, yanno?”

Knowing what this meant to him, I tilted my head to the side and hummed. “I had no idea they were expecting more.” He rolled his eyes at my words, my insinuations, and laughed. When the smiles calmed down, I caught a glimpse of how it really made him feel. He was torn apart. That only meant the one in the bathroom was equally, if not more heartbroken. “I’m sorry.”

He scrunched his brows and shook his head. “God, no, don’t do that, I mean… I’m fine. It’s fine. If anything it just means she’s-”

“Hey, Dad?” Jeonghan’s voice carried down the hall, echoing in the tall ceilings. He appeared and my blood ran cold. The look on his face coupled with the worry in his tone told me I’d have to step in. I’ve never had to step in for him before. Not when it came to Beomgyu.

I was right, he shouldn't have come with me.

Leaving Taehyun in the kitchen I walked with a purpose, laying a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder as I passed by him, letting him know that he did his best. The further I went, the louder the cries became. The sobs. The heavy breaths. The murmurs of words that scared me shitless.

Not that I’d ever show it.

Turning into the dim bathroom lit up by the window on the wall, I stopped in the doorway and took a breath. Jeonghan stood behind me, his lips pulled down.

Beomgyu was on the floor, splayed out on the floor, yet curled into himself. He was conscious, he was breathing, but he was saying things I never wanted to hear ever again.

Stepping closer to him, not letting his panicked breath affect my own, I squatted beside him and pushed his shaggy hair from his damp forehead. He was a sweaty mess. A sweaty trembling mess. Taking hold of his arm I yanked up the sleeve and rolled my head back with a groan.

“Beomgyu,” I said gently, placing a hand to his cheek. He stopped mumbling and looked up at me. “You’re gonna come home with me, okay?”

“Home,” he whispered. His empty glare wrecked my heart. “No, you’re gonna take me… back there.”

Keeping my grip on his wrist, I attempted to move him, but he wouldn’t budge. “We’re going to go home. To my house. Felix is there. I brought Jeonghan with me, did you see him?” Gesturing behind me, the boy's eyes followed and I swear a smile tried to light up his face. “Come with us, you’ll feel so much better at home.”

“Better at home,” Beomgyu nodded, his cheek against the tile of the floor. Jeonghan came closer and he watched him.

“Unless you want to stay here and listen to Ariana Grande, and eat pink candy,” he said, and Beomgyu laughed between sobs. “It’s better at our house. I promise. You know that.”

To my surprise, he tried to sit himself up, wobbling back and forth as he did. Once he was somewhat stable, I pulled a rubber band from my wrist and worked his hair backward out of his face, and tied it into place. Yanking the hand towel from the wall beside the sink, sorry Sana, I cleaned him up and adjusted his clothes to where they belonged. He watched me as I did this, his cries having ceased the second he was upright.

“Better?” I asked, placing a hand to his cheek, pinching some life into it. Thinning his lips, he frowned and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me into a hug. Dropping down onto my knees, I wrapped mine around him and held him. Fingers grabbing my shirt in despair, face down on my chest, I let him cry.

My promise.

Those words I said to myself so many years ago, before I had ever even held Jeonghan in my arms. Beomgyu and Jungkook. They were my responsibility. Even more so now that we only had each other.

I promised.

“I got you,” I whispered to him, drawing my hand in circles over his back. “Not gonna let anything happen to you, Beomie. I promise. We’re gonna help you.”

haven masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

17 notes · View notes

strayykids-hoe · 7 months ago

Text

"My baby" part 2

Bangchan ff

Alr guys. Here it is. Part 2.

Warnings: pregnant!reader, Babydaddy!bangchan, mostly fluff, k1dn@pping, fighting, Mafia!reader, Mafia!bangchan, Guns, rape, S3xu@l @bus3, mentions of sex, smoking, drinking, lmk if I missed anything.

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It has been 3 weeks since Bangchan found out you were pregnant. So he thought it would be a good idea for you to move in with him, and you were surprised to find out that his house was bigger than yours. Way bigger.

Bangchan would always do the dishes, clean the house, care for you when you have morning sickness and even try your pregnancy cravings so that you could smile and laugh at his grossed out face.

He was so excited for the baby that you guys were already working on the baby's nursery. It had already been three and a half months so you could already find out the gender. Only Bangchan knew though.

But as of right now, you were sitting up in bed at five in the morning waiting for Bangchan to get out of the bathroom so you could say bye to him before he goes to work.

"You okay princess?" He ask while smiling sweetly at you coming out of the bathroom in a suit that shows his muscles very well, turning you on quickly. "Yeah babe I'm fine." You say while he walks to you leaning down to give you a kiss.

"Okay baby. I'll be back at six or seven, yeah?" "Yeah" you reply kissing him one last time before he gives your stomach a peck. "Love you both." He states caressing your tummy. "We love you too channie." You reply just before he walks out the bedroom door blowing you a kiss as you smile at him lovingly.

You fell asleep and woke up at two in the afternoon. You went downstairs to your luxurious kitchen for some water when you heard a knock at the door. You weren't expecting company and Bangchan never told you anything.

You went to open the door only to see a man dressed in what seems to be a delivery uniform not really familiar to you. "Can I help you?" You said coldly. "Hey there's a package I'm supposed to be delivering but it's too big for just me. Do you think you could help?" He reply sounding kind of nervous. "Sure." You said this time just plainly.

You followed him to the back of his delivery truck to help but when he opened it, the truck was empty. That's when you realized. This is a trap. You tried running but he grabbed you before you could, tied you up, and basically threw you in the back of the truck. the vents in the truck are filling the area up with gas. You knew by now you were fucked. Eventually you woke up this time cuffed and laying on a mattress with three other women in the room with you.

One of them noticed you woke up. "Are you ok? How are you feeling? Do you need water?" "No. I'm fine." You manage to get out with a sore throat not knowing where you were. Then the rest of the girls looked over.

"Your not even gonna introduce yourself?" One of them said to the girl. "Oh." She said looking back at you still very concerned. "My name is jisoo. If you need anything just tell me." You appreciated her kindness as you weren't feeling the best.

"Whats going to happen to me?" You said with a scratchy voice. The other woman looks at you sighing not knowing how to say it. "Well. This is a human trafficking situation. I'm not really supposed to say. We could get In big trouble."

You were taken aback by that statement but not exactly surprised. You sat there staring at her with fear. "You'll be okay. Just don't be afraid, It makes it worse." She tells you reassuringly almost.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door before two men in suits came in. You leaned into the wall as if it could swallow you whole. The men grabbed your arms and picked you up leading you at of the room as you couldn't do anything but just follow their orders.

Yeji looks at you worried. Showing her fear and concern very clearly while she is also scared of the men. They practically dragged you out if there before taking you up cold stairs with an unidentifiable smell to it.

It was almost like a sickly sweet rotting smell. Like dead body. But it was all normal to you being a mafia leader. you had no way to fight right now and you weren't risking your baby's life for a mistake you make.

They then took you up some stairs which were like hell with your growing belly. When you got to the top of them though, the man on your left looks at you and quietly says "sorry." And at that point you were just confused and extremely nervous.

They practically threw you in the room. You hope that's what the man was saying sorry for but you know it probably wasn't. Suddenly big hands land at your waist and pull you up. You were grateful for that until you turn around and see who it was. "Hey princess." You were shocked.

"Don't call me that!" You say fast trying to defend yourself. His hands were still on your waist until you threw them off. "Why? Aren't you glad to see me?" He asks sarcastically scaring you even more. "Stop yoongi. Just stop!"

Yoongi looks at you with his cat like eyes pissed off. He threw you on a mattress on the floor and started kissing your neck harshly. "Just fucking stop!" He slaps you and holds a gun up to your head " I will do whatever the hell I want. And if you don't let me, I won't hesitate to shoot you." He told you clearly.

You know he means it. You watched him kill his parents. That's what scares you the most. He won't hesitate. He puts his hands on your waist and starts kissing your neck again with the gun still held at you. This time leaving hickeys and he's being soft like when you guys were still together.

He starts going towards your chest and that's when you try to push him off again. Now he's livid. He looks at one of the men behind you. The man puts a cloth over your moth and nose. Now you were actually worried. Worried about the baby.

Then it went black.

When you woke up you were in the room again. All of them crowded around you. Jisoo's hand instantly going to your cheeks and forehead. "Your burning up." She tells you. "Lisa, get me a washcloth and water." The other girl that you were talking to. Her name is Lisa. She hands Jisoo the washcloth and water. "Your gonna have to take off your robe. I'm gonna try to break the fever." You start taking off your short black silky robe and toss it to the side. Now only wearing a bra and underwear.

Lisa and the other girl get washcloths as well and they all start wiping your body trying to get your temperature down. You suddenly felt a sharp pain in your lower stomach. You cringed at the feeling. Jisoo was the first one that noticed "are you ok?" Your eyes start watering.

"I am but I don't know if the baby is." You tell her while tears run down your face. You start thinking the worst. And you know yoongi did fuck you while you were out. All of the girls gasp at your statement.

"How far along are you?" She asks worried. "3 and a half months." You said crying more. "Its OK I have an idea to get you out if here." You calm down when she says that and eventually stop crying. Jisoo feels your cheeks again.

"Your a little better." She says trying to help you up. She gives you your robe and you put it on. For the first time you're noticing a window at the top of the room. Shit. It's dark already. Then you remember. You have your phone in an inside pocket of your robe.

You get out your phone and it's at 56 percent. The other girls haven't noticed yet. And surprisingly you have service. It's 11:22 and you know bangchan is home. Yep. 37 missed calls. 24 new messages. From him.

You send him a message saying just "help" and then share your location with him. He emediently opens it And tells you to stay there he's on his way. You quickly hide your phone again and sit down waiting patiently. Where you were is only 20 minutes away from the house. You dozed off and woke up to someone bursting in the door. It was Bangchan.

The girls were scared of him. He emediently came to you and kiss your forehead. "Baby your burning up." The girl were surprised at his affection towards you. Your eyes start watering again. Partly because you missed him and because that pain was still in your stomach.

He puts his hands around your waist and whispers in your ear "everything's going to be okay. Just stay calm and stay right beside me. I don't know if I can make it out but I know you can." While he says that last part you look at jisoo and tears fall from your eyes.

Bangchan pulls you in for a deep and passionate kiss. "I love you so much princess." He says softly and out of breath. "I love you too." He then leads you out quickly and you guys go up the stairs. When you turn the corner you see the mattress where it all happened.

It's bloody. You wonder if that was from you or not. Then you look around to see everyone dead. You guys run to the front door and out to the car. Bangchan checks the back seat and the trunk of the car to make sure yoongi wasn't there. Hedidnt know where yoongi was. He drives off quickly as he sees yoongi walking out of the cabin right beside the house.

Pulling out his gun he shoots yoongi and didn't miss. Head shot. You were glad to get that problem taken care of as we finally start to go home. You were out of it and didn't know why. "Princess." He says tapping your bare thigh to get your attention.

You look at him tired. "Are you ok? What happened?" He says worried. "We need to go to the hospital." Is all you say hoping he would understand. "Did yoongi...?" He asks trailing off while looking extremely worried.

Tears start rolling down your face as you nodded at him. He makes a sharp turn going to the hospital while slightly speeding. His right hand moves from your thigh to your face caressing it softly "I'm so sorry baby." He said sounding like he's gonna cry himself.

You reach up to hold his hand softly making you feel better.

°•☆•°☆°•☆•°☆°•☆•°☆°•☆•°☆°•☆

At the hospital

☆°•☆•°☆°•☆•°☆°•☆•°☆°•☆•°☆°•

You were laying in the ultrasound room while still feeling pain in your lower abdomen. Babgchan noticed this and put his hand on your stomach leaning down whispering to it. Just the sight of him worrying for the baby makes you want to cry again.

The doctor finally walks in right after bangchan sits up. The doctor doesn't say anything until she is putting the ultrasound jelly on your stomach. "This is gonna be cold." She said sounding somewhat sad herself. You just wait it out until the ultrasound is over. Neither you or bangchan looking at the monitor.

She cleans your stomach and looks at you with teary eyes. "Sorry. The baby's gone." She said with tears rolling down her face. You and bangchan were too shocked to speak or react. The doctor squeezes your shoulder before leaving the room.

You sit up and wrap your arms around Bangchans neck and pull him close knowing he's hurt. He starts crying in your arms uncontrollably and you comfort him with your life.

Eventually you manage to leave the hospital and go home. In the car his hand rests on your thigh rubbing it softly. You turn your head to look at him. You never realized how pretty his features were in the dark. Right now it is 2 in the morning and you want nothing more than to fall asleep in chans arms.

When you get home he opens the car door for you. You turned and gave him a sad smile while holding your stomach. He looks at your belly and a sad smile appears on his face too as he holds put his hand to help you out of the porche. "Come ono princess." He says quietly.

You take his hand and he leads you inside the house shutting and locking the door behind you guys. He picks you up bridal style and a small gasp leaves your mouth. He smiles at your reaction as he takes you upstairs to the room, laying you down in the bed while he goes in the bathroom.

You start dozing off and Bangchan comes out of the bathroom shirtless and only in boxers. "Baby come take a bath." You nod tiredly as he picks you up taking you into the bathroom. He slips off your robe looking at your beautiful body. He starts kissing your jaw down to your tits before he takes off your bra letting your tits bounce in his face.

He then goes to your stomach, staying there for a while. After that he goes to your thighs while pulling down your underwear. He starts locking your clit and emediently your hands go to his curly black hair. He pulls back and kisses your lips. You moan when you taste yourself.

He takes off his boxers and all you can do is watch as his giant cock jumps out. He gets in the tub first. You step in while lowering yourself to lay beside him in the huge tub. You cuddle against him with both hands on his upper body. He watches you as you admire his masculine features.

He pulls you close to him, one hand on your waist and the other on your shoulder. Once you and him finally get comfortable, his phone rings. It's on the side of the tub and you hand it to him. He looks at the phone then back at you and says " It's Jisung." You nod and wait for him to tell you what he says. All you could hear was from babgchan. And he didn't sound too happy about it.

Once the call was over he looks back at you after putting his phone back on the edge of the tub. He didn't tell you what that was about. He just tells you what he needs right now. Not verbally, not mentally, But physically.

His hand on your waist starts sliding down to your thigh. He watches your confused look turn into something he couldn't quit make out. Lust? Sexual desire? Anger? Happiness? Sadness?

He couldn't tell. But you make it known that your horny. Your hands sliding down close to his rock hard dick then back up. He gets closer to you and kisses you passionately. It quickly turned into a make out session before it all got interrupted by who burst in the bathroom door.

"Yeji?"

#Spotify

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enbyhoshi · 2 years ago

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ao3 wrapped 2022

i tried doing this on twt and i accidentally closed the tab and i lost all of it so. tumblr it is!

before i start: i wrote 7 fics in 2022 (total of 72.5k words), 5 of which were posted during the first half of the year. at one point i was writing 3 fics at the same time which was Insane and i still can't believe i managed to finish all 3 of them in time. wow. anyways let's dive into it!

🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟

1. sweet like honey

fem soonwoo, 21k, M, 3/4 of the 'girls like girls (like boys do)' series

my girls.... i miss writing them so much. i truly wasn't planning on letting this fic spiral into the 21k words monster that it came out to - it was supposed to just be the scene where ww calls sy her gf (D-364) - but i don't regret it at all! they deserved their happy ending considering the angst i put them through lol. this was also the first time i wrote smut and it was an Experience

favorite part:

Someone calls Wonwoo’s name and they both come back to reality, turning back to their friends when Soonyoung realises two things, almost at the same time: 1) Minghao and Wonwoo don’t know each other, and 2) none of their friends know about what happened last night. None of them know about Soonyoung and Wonwoo, whatever they are — oh, hey, another thing to add on to the list of realisations kwon Soonyoung has at a busy dance hall post-performance: 3) she hasn’t asked Wonwoo to be her girlfriend yet.

2. baby, be my weekend

soonwoo, 22k, M, idol!wonwoo bodyguard!hoshi

el called this one of my best works in their comment and it has stuck with me since i read it. i had so much writing this fic i truly loved it so much!!! i also didn't expect the amount of love and attention it got ksdjghsdk i just wrote a silly little prompt me and my friend came up with! wow. sorry i don't have a lot to say for this if i loved it less i'd be able to talk about it more etc etc

favorite part:

The noise is getting louder though, heavy like someone is continuously stomping, and it sounds like it’s coming from- “Wonwoo!” He freezes in his tracks. He knows that voice. “Wonwoo! Wait!” It feels like it’s happening in slow motion: Wonwoo turns around, his heart at his throat, only to see Soonyoung running out of his apartment building still in the same clothes as ten minutes ago, getting drenched as he does. It doesn’t deter him from running towards Wonwoo, though, and Wonwoo doesn’t know what’s happening until Soonyoung grabs his face and kisses him harder than he ever has, pouring every single bit of his emotions into it. Wonwoo can’t do anything but kiss him back, pulling him as close as he can, wanting to feel nothing but Soonyoung’s body on his.

3. 노래해 (‘bout you)

fem soonhoon, 3k, G, university au i guess

GIRLS!!!!! this fic was so spontaneous i was thinking about how there's literally no fem soonhoon fics so i decided to take matters into my own hands hehe. i truly wrote this in two days just in time for pride month which is insane considering i was writing both my 1d fest fic AND my 96z fest fic at that time. what was i thinking.

favorite part:

“Remember that time when Jihoon-unnie talked about anime for six hours straight?” Seokmin says, lifting her head up from Seungkwan’s lap. “That’s probably the most I’ve heard her talk in one sitting.” “I was doing a ranking,” Jihoon says in an attempt to defend herself. “That no one asked you to do, by the way,” Seungkwan says. “You’re lucky Wonwoo-unnie and Jisoo-unnie are just as big weebs as you are.” “Uh, who’s the one between us who started playing volleyball just because of Haikyuu?” Jisoo raises her eyebrow at Seungkwan, who shuts her mouth and goes back to braiding Seokmin’s hair. “That’s what I thought.” Jisoo says, satisfied, and goes back to her bracelet.

4. still feel the same (and you will too)

soonwoo (+ others), 10k, G, wedding au

my 1d fest fic! probably my favorite fic i've written this year. i have a soft spot for kid fics and i have always wanted to write one so i'm so happy i got to fulfill that with this fest! i hadn't written babies before so i did a looot of research to make it as realistic as possible and it seems to have paid off lol. i still remember crying when i wrote the ceremony part (I’d marry you again if I could. I’d do it all over again. Just for you.) and the part where soonwoo dance (He looks at thirty-year-old Wonwoo now, older and wiser and the father of his child, the love of his life — and he thinks about how he doesn’t regret saying yes, not one bit.) also rule 63 is just so fun hehe

favorite part (i already mentioned my favs so i chose a different one lol):

“You say that but it’s gonna pass in the blink of an eye.” Soonyoung says. “One day you’re scrolling through the baby-cribs section at IKEA and the next you’re holding a whole newborn in your arms. Crazy how life works sometimes.” Minghao blinks at him. “Please tell me you didn’t get Byeol’s baby-crib from IKEA.” “I talked him out of it, don’t worry.” Wonwoo reassures her. Minghao lets out a heavy sigh of relief.

5. knock, knock, knock on my door

96z, 10k, T, uh. first time meeting?? strangers to lovers??? idk

my 96z fest fic! this fic went through a lot LOL. i changed the plot a million times because i was unsatisfied with it each time and at some point considered making it two parts so the Big Reveal would be a different chapter but it just didn't feel right. also i only considered it because i wasn't sure if i was gonna finish the fic in time LMAO. this fic is yet another self indulgent fic because like hoshi i have friends but none of them know each other and it makes bday plans so much harder... if only they could fall in love with each other and make it easier for me

favorite part:

“What are you thinking about?” What isn’t he thinking about. Their entire conversation. Jihoon’s words. Junhui’s words. Junhui’s smile and the way his entire face lights up with it. The way Jihoon starts blushing from his ears. Soonyoung kissing them goodnight. Soonyoung’s glossy eyes when Wonwoo sang for him at karaoke. He blurts out before he can think too much about it. “I like you.” Soonyoung opens his eyes and stares at him like he’s dumb. “I know. I like you too, Wonwoo-yah.” he says, easy as ever. “No, you don’t understand- I like you.” Wonwoo insists. “Like, I’m in love with you, I think.” Soonyoung continues to stare at him like he’s dumb. “I know. I like you too, Wonwoo-yah.” he says again.

6. pink where it's deepest inside

fem soonwoo, 3.5k, E, t4t pwp (also 4/4 of the 'girls like girls (like boys do)' series)

oooh boy. originally i started writing this right after i posted sweet like honey but i never finished it because i was too embarassed dfghdfg. right after i posted my 96z fic i fell into deep writer's block and i couldn't write ANYTHING but i knew i wanted to do smth special for the anniversary of this series and i thought well. might as well finish this i guess. huge thank you to el for betaing if it weren't for her this would've never seen the light of day god bless

favorite part:

Unable to wait any longer, she pushes Wonwoo off her a bit to take off her skirt and underwear when Wonwoo’s hands stop her. “Wait,” she says, looking into Soonyoung’s eyes, bashful all the sudden. “Keep the skirt on for me... please?” Well. What is Soonyoung supposed to do? Say no?

7. from luck to fate

soonwoo, 1k, G, pre-slash from the bodyguard au

i wrote this as a writing exercise to kind of get out of my writer's block for a bit and it turned out better than i expected so i was like you know what. i'll post it! i kinda wish it was longer but i think it's also perfect the way it is. also i loved writing seokmin he didn't appear that much in baby, be my weekend so it was fun to include him in this and show how it all started!

favorite part:

The guy Seokmin was talking to before, with the weird hair and striped sweater, holds a microphone in his hands, standing in the middle of the stage as he waits for his song to start. Soonyoung assumes that he must be a soloist or something. Probably a rookie too, if he didn’t recognise him. Or maybe he’s just unpopular. It wouldn’t be surprising.

🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗🌟

wow. that's a lot of fics isn't it! i can't promise how much i'll write or what i'll write in general in 2023 because i still haven't quite found my footing again but hopefully that'll change with the new year :) thank you for reading so far 💕

#ao3 wrapped #fics

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dollete-bitch-77-u · 7 months ago

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Chapter 1

Novel : from the rips of sadness

Jisso pov

IT was a summer day where the weather is so hot and the sweat dripping from my neck, i was making myself ready ,IT was a special day ,the day my boyfriend suho meet my Parents ,we been dating for 3 mouth, suho work at starbuks and we go out on a date every weekend ,hes a driven and a romantic guy sho im head over heels with him,im just anxious that my dad with anger issues and my mom with narcisstic personnality desorder wont like him ,but i hope they see him the way i do .

I weared my red summer dress and my red lipstick ,i go downstairs when i hear the door bell rings i hurry up to open it ,to find him my boyfriend smiling wildely at me ,he was wearing a suit i remember telling him dad like classic clothes and suits, my boyfriend was hot and had muscles cause he work out three times in week at the gym ,ilove to sleep at his big boy arm, Wait i just noticed the red flowers hes holding...aww how sweet of him ,my favourite ones ,he is trying so bad and it enouph for me ,i get close to him and kiss his lips

Suho smiling:you look gorgeous

Jisoo with happy lauphter:and you smell wonderful babe thanks for the flowers

Suho entering the house:nah IT nothing

My mom come to see suho ,she had a grumpy look on her face analyzing him from head to toe ,she liked my ex more baekhyun cause he was from rich family and all his family are doctors, but baekhyun liked models and cars ,his dad give him his credit card and he buy cars for himself ,he never give me time he give time to Those victoria secret models ,that the reason of our breakup and im better now without him

Leila: hi youre suho right

Suho feeling nervous: yes misses Kim it so nice to meet you ,this flowers are for you

He handled her the flowers she smell them but then show disgust look on her face

Leila: they smell like you buy them from the trash

Jisoo feeling bad:mom that not nice

Leila rolling her eyes:anyway please come in

...

At the dinner table

James: so what your job suho

Suho smiling:I work at starbuks and I study law

James : so you're an ambitious man what your dad job

Suho: my dad died of cancer a year ago and my mom died also from drugs when I was 12

Leila: that seem awful do you consume drugs

Suho:no i learned from my mom mistakes iam never touching that shit

James:so I'm asking you a private question cause i want the best for my daughter did you ever had sex with her

Jisoo in embarresement:dad you cant ask that

Suho interput jisoo:no babe that okay actually we had sex one day in my house

Leila eating her steak of meat:as a mother close to her daughter i never know that ...did you used candom

Jisoo:yeah we did

James sighing:actually i wanna say im not approving this relationship, jisoo should focus on psychology school the upcoming year is her last year and you mr suho are big distracción for my daughter physically and mentally

Jisoo with anger:dad you cant decide sho I date or whom I not

James slapping the table with his hand:yes iam little lady and youre not gonna see this loser again

Suho: sir there must be a misunterstanding ilove your daughter

James interrupt suho:stay away from my daughter I dont want you near her or near this house again !

Suho get up from his chair

Jisoo: suho please dont leave,please dont leave me

Suho in pain in his eyes: I'm sorry jisoo ilove you

He left the entire house and jisoo look at her dad :i never hated someone like i hated you dad

She storm angrily to her room

At the 1 p.m.

She was tired of crying sleeping in her bed when she felt someone carresing her hair she woke up and saw suho smiling lovingly at her

Jisoo throwing herself into his arms: my love I'm sorry for what happen

Suho kissing her head: stupid girl you think l left you of course no cmon grab a suit case

Jisoo confused :why

Suho smiling looking at her eyes:we gonna go to Russia and continue our life there, away from your fucked up parents

Jisoo in sadness: suho I cant leave my parents and my studies you know how bad I wanna be a therapist

Suho expressions change: you aren't leaving me jisoo I already booked us the flight ilove you!you never find a men sho love you like me

Jisoo:babe ilove you so mush but I cant I have future here I cant leave my life to the unknown

He looked at her in shocked then left the room, she sit in her bed feeling regret and heaviness in her chest ,when she hear her mother scream and gun shot from her family bedroom ,she go running her heart in her stomack, she open her parents door ,to find her parents laying in a lake of blood and suho there next to them

Suho with a insane look on his face : your mine only mine!

The judge : mr park suho is going to be on jail for 10 years for killing mr Kim James and misses Kim leila ,the trial ended

Jisoo looked a final look full with hate into suho eyes before taking him from the court he meeted her with a warm smile ,the smile that charmed her the first day of the innocent boy sho make her feel the most beautifull girl in the world ,now hes the reason of her world falling apart ,but she going to revenge for her parents!

To be continued

#jisso #romance #crime #psychology

0 notes

wonwoonlight · 3 years ago

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my way to you / jeon wonwoo | epilogue

A/N: posting this today in hope it'll better your day bc mine is just eh. and with this, my way to you is officially finished! I'll make a separate AN post which you can find here; but if you dont want to see me ranting, just know that i'm thankful to every single one of you who has taken the time to read this and follow the ride until the very end. see you in my other works! <3

series masterlist

You relish in Mrs. Yoon’s embrace as she thanks you once again for arranging her anniversary party. It’s a fairly small one, because she just wants to invite families and close friends, and you’ve managed to turn her backyard into a beautiful place right out of a fairytale movie set.

“You’ve been well, right?” she says in that motherly tone of hers, patting the strands of your hair that was a little all over the place. “Jeonghan said you fainted a while ago? I would’ve come visit if I knew.”

“It’s okay, Auntie.” You shake your head, making a mental note to yell at Jeonghan for telling on you. At least she doesn't seem like she has any idea about the missing episode. “It’s not recently too, you don’t have to worry. I’m eating my meals properly now.”

She cups your cheeks gently, her eyes still worried as she searches your face to see if you’re just saying it. “Tell me next time you get sick, okay? I’ll come and take care of you.”

You nod just to ease her worry, doubtful that you’d actually do it. As much as you love her and you know she’ll really take care of you, you feel like that’d be asking for too much. After talking some more, she squeezes your shoulder before excusing herself to find her friend. You hug her one more time and congratulate her on the anniversary, leaving a kiss on her cheek before you let go.

“You really outdid yourself, hm, princess?” Wonwoo’s voice tickles the back of your neck almost immediately after Jeonghan’s mom leaves, and he laughs when you jump a little, almost stumbling on your feet. “When did you get so clumsy?”

“You surprised me!” you whine, though you step forward to hug him anyway. “Did you just arrive?”

He circles his arms around you too, dropping a kiss on top of your head before pulling away then tells you that traffic was hell and he actually left an hour ago. Wonwoo looks around to find familiar faces, seeing Shua chatting with his sister on one of the tables and Jeonghan talking to your father by the chocolate fountain.

“Is everyone here already?”

Before you can answer, the door opens again and you see Jennie stepping in with Jisoo—how did they get acquainted again?—Jinyoung trailing behind them, busy with his phone. The three spot you both right away, making their way to you first instead of to the host of the party.

“Did you work on this party too?” Jisoo asks after greeting you with a hug, eyes wandering around the location as she takes in the decoration you’ve put on around the backyard. “Calling this beautiful would be offensive, trust me. This is ethereal.”

You scrunch your nose at the compliment, still not used to it even though you do know this is your best work yet. You thank her shyly, and Wonwoo laughs at the interaction when Jinyoung jokingly tells you to knock off the shy act.

“It really is beyond beautiful though,” Jennie says quietly, wondering how much effort you must’ve put into this. “You really have talent in this, Y/N.”

You grip Wonwoo’s arm as you listen to her, Wonwoo’s words just a few days ago ringing through your mind. He finally told you about Jennie and the talk they had on the day you fainted, about how she felt about you and how she’s been holding it over herself.

It’s quite funny, if you really think about it, you’re both envious of each other but you approach the feeling differently, albeit the different reason behind them. While Jennie wishes to get closer to you, you try your best to keep your distance from her because, just like you did with Wonwoo, you don’t how to deal with those feelings.

You had been shocked when Wonwoo told you about it. You would’ve never imagined her to be envious of you. After all, what was there to be envious of when she literally has what you have and more? But the more you listen to Wonwoo, the more guilt gnawed within you.

It’s not a lie to say you have never disliked Jennie. It’s just awkwardness stacking up as years go by, your tendency to overthink and to run away from dealing with things you’re not sure how approach that leads to you keeping yourself from her.

And with the light of recent events when you finally accept that you are, in fact, in love with your best friend, the only reason behind the bitter taste on your mouth everytime you see her was only fueled by jealousy.

Wonwoo nudges you in encouragement, knowing that you’re no longer reluctant to talk to her though you still don’t know how you’re supposed to do it when you’ve chosen to be awkward for years.

You remember what he said after that, about how no one is asking you to be close to Jennie—that you should just treat her as you would any other person, and that you should try to tamper down those feelings that make you small everytime you see her.

It’s awfully obvious to you now, her calculated words and conscious gestures. Just as much you are unsure how to talk to her, she doesn’t know how to talk to you either (and whose fault is that?). But she’s trying, she always is, you think as you recall the amount of time Jennie has tried to talk to you.

Guilt isn’t the only thing that runs through you now, you’re embarrassed; you’re a woman in the middle of 20s and you’ve been running away from someone who doesn’t have any ill intention towards you just because you’re awkward and you don’t know how to talk to her?

“Thank you,” you smile at her, fingers gripping Wonwoo a little tighter. Jennie seems to be surprised at your soft tone, already used to the polite way you always use to address her. “I… uh, you know, Daisy Collections, Shua’s family’s company, actually asked me to organize their event and… well, I’m not actually used to the fashion industry so, um, would you mind helping me with it if… if you’re still in the country?”

Jinyoung blinks continuously at this, eyeing Wonwoo in confused surprise while the guy simply looks at you like he’s proud of what you’ve done. Jennie’s looking just as surprised, if not more, but she’s quick to bloom into a wide smile and tells you she’ll be happy to help you come up with the concept, if that’s what you’re asking for.

It’s bizarre how relieved you feel after that, and after Jennie leaves with the couple to find the host of the party, Wonwoo squishes your cheeks and teases you for being shy like you’re on a blind date.

“How would you know how I’d be on a blind date?” you stick your tongue at, though you do feel a little giddy inside now that you know you can finally let go of whatever awkwardness you have with Jennie. You don’t necessarily have any plan to be close with her, though you wouldn’t be against it if it comes to that. Whatever will come out of it, you’re just glad you finally have it in you to let go of that weight now.

“Miss Yoon,” Seungcheol calls for you, making you both turn to him. Wonwoo pulls away and nods at the older guy, looking at the small box in his hands as he hands it to you. “The package you ask for is here.”

“Thank you,” you take the box from him, telling Wonwoo it’s a gift for Jeonghan’s parents that you have Seungcheol get because it’s customed and the artist finished it just this morning. “And I told you to stop calling me that.”

Seungcheol simply smiles, dimpled cheek appearing as he does so. You tell him to stay and enjoy the party if he wants, but he says he’d rather not though he’ll be on standby if you need him.

You share an amused smile with Wonwoo after Seungcheol steps back in to the house with the rest of the staff, bowing to you both and bidding his goodbye. He’s enjoying his last month as your guard after the whole fiasco, not because he’s fired but because you ask your parents to turn him into your personal assistant instead.

Seungcheol is more than competent, you’ve learned after a year of being with him, he’s meticulous and he knows to be stern with you when it’s necessary. And even though he was hesitant at first, unsure if he’s qualified to be a personal assistant, he eventually gives in after you reassure him that you’re not expecting him to magically understand your workloads, that you’ll give him space to learn and you’ll be happy to guide him along the way—that you’ll pay him more than when he was just your guard because now he would have to guard you and help you with your work. But you know what eventually drives him to say yes is because you say you’ll give him more day offs to see his family than his agency did.

He still has his contract with his agency though, which is why he’s in the process of ending the contract before he can officially sign with Yoon Holdings as an employee.

“He’s going to start next month, right?” he asks as he pulls you to a more secluded area, finally moving away from the entrance--and from the party, actually.

The sound of people chatting get fainter the more you follow him, and you find yourself near the greenhouse, the other half of the backyard that you steer away from because it wouldn’t go well with the decoration and overall concept you’ve chosen. You’ve even put on partitions, just to let people know that this side of the backyard isn’t a part of the party.

You’ve always liked this kind of event more, it’s less hassle because it’s casual, and you don’t need to be on guard at all times because it’s easy to look through the whole area from wherever you’re standing.

“Are you thinking of officially signing a contract with Lilac&Co?” he asks when he notices the labels on the buffet table. You’ve been talking about it before, because after a food taste and some meetings for this event, you’re pleased to find out you work well with them. Their protocol is strict and the fact that their food tastes like heaven basically seals the deal.

“Yeah, it’s about time that we find a fixed vendor too,” you say absentmindedly as you scan through the area, glad that everyone seems to be having a good time. “Gosh, I’m glad I said yes to Auntie. This is my best event as of now.”

Wonwoo chuckles at your tone, arm wrapping around your shoulder as he agrees with you. “Please just don’t faint again, okay?”

“It was one time.”

“And one time is enough,” he closes the argument. “I won’t let you take three projects at once ever again.”

You raise an eyebrow at his statement, turning to face him as you cross your arms. “And who are you to say that?”

“Your boyfriend?” he grins, daring you to say otherwise. He steps to pull you into his embrace though, having been wanting to do that since earlier but there were too many people near the entrance. “I just don’t want you sick again, princess. And you know you won’t be focused that way.”

“I know, I know,” you say as you hug him back, reassuring him that you won’t be that careless again and admitting that he’s true. “That’s partly why I ask Seungcheol to be my PA too. It’s about time I need someone to help me with my works.”

He pulls away just enough to look at you, and between the way you’re looking back at him and the burgundy lipstick you’ve chosen to apply today, he finds it hard to hold back from kissing you. He doesn’t see why he should though, because you don’t plan to hide your relationships even though you haven’t really told anyone either. So he does exactly that, smiling into the kiss when he feels you smile too.

“Oh?” A familiar voice makes you two pull away from each other, though his protective arm still wraps around your waist. He bites his lip as he watches his mom and your mom in front of him, they don’t even bother to hide back their happy grins though they still have it in them to bite the squeal from coming out of their mouths.

“Anything I can help with, Auntie, Mom?” Your voice is small, and he suddenly feels like teenagers being caught by their parents doing things they shouldn’t. He coughs to hide the amused smile, knowing full well that you’d scold him for it.

“Um, no,” Wonwoo’s mom honestly sounds too giddy for her own good and you can feel your cheeks getting warm at her knowing look. Your mom is more or less the same, though the soft look in her eyes make you feel warm inside. When was the last time she looked at you that way? “We were just walking around, to be honest. But I think they’re calling everyone for an announcement.”

You follow them back to the party, fingers intertwined with Wonwoo’s even though you’re glaring at his teasing grin. He looks so much like his mom earlier, and despite your mock annoyance, you’re actually also giddy inside. You’re just so content, and there’s something wholesome about knowing that your parents know now.

You see Jeonghan’s mom making her way to the center with a mic, thanking everyone for coming and thanking you for putting up the party. You automatically hide behind Wonwoo when everyone suddenly focuses on you, shaking your head when she showers you with compliment and how it’s everything she could’ve asked for.

She talks some more about how glad she is that everyone’ having fun, that it’s been a while since she’s been able to gather them together and she’s happy that the day has been going rather well. After that, she ushers Jeonghan to take her place, saying that he has an announcement to make while everyone’s here.

You look at him in confusion, not aware that Jeonghan has anything that might need announcement for.

“Hi everyone. I’m Yoon Jeonghan, if you don’t know. The son of the couple?” he starts lightly, making everyone chuckle with his introduction. “I’m not going to talk for long, so don’t worry, you can go back to having fun after this.

I’ve always believed that art is a necessity; it’s something that we turn to when we don’t know where else to go. We turn to art when we’re happy, when we’re sad, when we’re worried, and even when we’re out of our mind. It’s truly amazing, that sometimes we don’t even understand what is it about but we find happiness in them still. It’s abstract, but that’s why it’s beautiful, why it’s personal, and why there’s always a part of it that resonates with a part of us.

I’m sure everyone here knows of Daisy Collections?”

Jeonghan points at Shua’s table when he says this, and Somi happily waves to the crowd while the rest of her family simply smile at them, wondering where the whole thing is heading to. Shua looks at him in question, but Jeonghan is already turning away to continue his little monologue.

“Just last year, the eldest son of the Hong family decides to step down from his position in the company to open up his own studio, Daisy Studio. It’s an art studio that Joshua manages himself, he built it from zero from all the money he got working in the main branch, refused when we all offered to help him fund the development, and, fast forward to the present, he’s booked almost everyday now.

It’s not just an art studio though.

Daisy Studio not only offers classes to those who can afford it, but also have an open class every week for those who don’t have the money for art classes, hold charity events for those in needs, comes to orphanages for the kids, and even does volunteers for painting days in hospitals.

What they’re doing is truly incredible, they aren’t only helping those who want to pursue their dreams; they’re helping those who are lost and unsure—who only has art as their only escapes.

That being said, I’m happy to announce that Yoon Holdings is going to start a foundation and help them expand so they can help more people find home in their arts—so we can help more people in need of comfort they don’t know where to find. We’re going to fully fund everything, and we’ll be happy to receive your donations once the foundation is officially established. I truly hope we’ll be able to help more people this way; whether what they need is comfort, encouragement, or they just need an outlet, I want everyone to know that we’re there for them.”

Jeonghan shyly thanks everyone at the loud sound of their claps, and you see Shua frozen in shock at the announcement. You’re fidgeting on your feet, and it’s when Wonwoo pushes you slightly towards where your cousins are at that you squeal and hug them both once you’re close enough.

“What was that!” You can’t help but grin despite the way you’re hitting Jeonghan’s shoulder with your hand. “We’re setting up a foundation to help Shua’s studio?”

He shrugs nonchalantly, telling you it’s something that he’s been thinking of and Shua’s studio just happen to be the perfect media to do that. “I owe him anyway.”

“I only told you to pay for my expansion, you ass!” Shua exclaims, though the happiness in his eyes is the brightest you’ve ever seen. It’s not hard to figure out why, his studio is his everything, and to have Yoon Holdings backing him up for the good cause… “Seriously though, I… I don’t even know what to think, man. Thank you doesn’t even suffice.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Jeonghan hesitates for a bit, his eyes fleeting to you. “It’s… actually Uncle’s idea.”

“My father?” you ask to make sure. Why would your father be interested in setting a foundation?

“Remember that bet? I promised Shua I’d pay for his studio’s expansion if I lost the bet; well, I won, but I felt like I owe him and it’s for a good cause so I thought, why not?” he explains, trying to see if your father is nearby only to find him with Wonwoo’s dad yet again. “Well, I was asking for a personal favour from our company’s team to help me purchase the building when Uncle accidentally heard of it. And… yeah. I told him they often hold events for charities and volunteers for just about any cause. He thought we might as well go all out and build a foundation to help and…”

You raise your eyebrow at his gaze, but Jeonghan shakes his gaze, saying it’s not his place to tell and that you should ask your father yourself for it. You look at Wonwoo for support, and he offers to come with you if you want to talk about it right now.

Contemplating for a bit, you eventually nod and tell him you’d rather ask now than later. You drop a kiss on Shua’s cheek before you leave, congratulating him on the sudden tremendous expansion he’s going to get judging by the enthusiastic respond from the guests.

“Father?” you greet him with Wonwoo in tow, and then turn to Wonwoo’s dad to greet him too. “May I talk to you for a bit?”

He seems like he has an idea what you’re going to talk about and, surprisingly, lets you ask out in the open without excusing you both from the other two gentlemen.

“Umm… Jeonghan said the foundation was your idea?”

“Ah, he gave me too much credit,” he gives you a small smile, taking a sip of wine before he continues. “He said he wanted to help for a good cause so I thought it was obvious that we should just build a foundation. Plus, it’s Joshua’s studio, right? We’ll know our fund is in good hands.”

“But… why?”

He sighs, not one that might indicate that he’s irritated, but something that sounds a lot like he’s contemplating his next words.

“I heard Joshua often hosts charities and does volunteers. Jeonghan said he usually has three or four events per month, including the weekly open class. I asked if Joshua has a team to do this or if he outsources event organizer everytime, but Jeonghan said, as much as he’s aware, Joshua does everything himself with his small team.”

You don’t see where this is going, but you continue to listen to him as you try to make sense why he’s talking about it instead of answering you.

“So I thought… why not have the best organizer I know help him regularly and we fund them for their social service?”

You still don’t get this, and your father chuckles at your confused expression, his hand reaching out to pat your head. You take a sharp breath at this, the last time he did that was… so long ago that you don’t even remember; perhaps you were five, crying as hard as you could because you broke one of his vases in his home office, afraid that he’d yell at you for it. But he had just taken you in his arms, away from the shards, and when he sat you down in his office chair and called for the helper to clean the mess, he had simply patted your head and said it’s okay and that he could just buy another one.

“—step down from the company and help them.” You hear him say after you zone back in, lost in memories. You smile sheepishly at him, asking for a repeat that your father readily gives.

“You have a gift in it, princess.” You’re surprised that, for once, you don’t cringe at the sound of your father addressing you with the nickname. Perhaps it’s the soft tone he’s using, or the way he’s looking at you with something akin to genuine pride. “And I know you don’t want to work in the company. So I thought perhaps it would be better for you to step down and take care of the foundation instead? You’d be working with Joshua too.”

The grip you have on Wonwoo’s arms immediately tighten once the words hit you, and you try your best not to look like a fish out of water when you realize that your father is asking you to step down and take care of the new foundation. Because you’re the best organizer he could think of and that you’d be more content working for this instead of in the company because he’s been forcing you to do that.

It's a foundation. Not a company. You can’t monetize a foundation—you’re just going to be there working with Shua, helping him run the foundation and organize his events so they’d go without a hitch. You already help him from time to time, and you know Shua actually lacks people to help him prepare an actual event, so you know to have back up from Yoon Holdings in an official way like this would mean the world to him.

You’re not there to make money. You’re there to help people and make sure the fund is used accordingly.

“We’ll talk about it later,” he nods and tells you to continue enjoying the party. “Come by the family house for dinner tomorrow. You come too, Wonwoo, it’s been some time since I share a meal with you both.”

Your lips are pressed together when Wonwoo looks at you, your father and his dad already gone to return to their seats as you hear him extend the invitation to the whole Jeon family. Your eyes are glossy too, and he smiles before he envelopes you in his arms and hides your face there. He hears you breath in and out, trying to calm yourself down and only pulling away once you’re sure you no longer have tears in your eyes.

“You’re okay?” he asks just in case, voice soft and barely a whisper.

“Never better,” you grin despite the redness in your eyes, blinking them away and gripping Wonwoo’s hands as if to convince yourself that he’s really there; that this isn’t a dream and the whole thing is real.

You feel Wonwoo squeeze your hands too in return, eyes locked together as you share a giddy smile with him.

It’s been a long way to get here, and you promise to yourself you’ll never let go of him even if he does.

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.

taglist: @hoe4wonwoo@dnylwoo@yslshua@twogyuu@najaemin138@blueixnie@boowanie@pwettytae@itsveronicaxxx@aphrodyteeth@leechanniee@jeoonghann@sdoulc@kyeomjjigae@ru-lin@listxn @yngreid@vynnz@lilactangerine@justasoftstan@amymoonl@02psh@lovelywoo@pusangmamon@yoontaedotin@soonchanshua@fanfic24@nothingbutadeadesceane@nollixtrml@sweetheart-gs@rjsmochii@dowoonwoodealer@babyjagihoney@yoozuku

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leejungchans · 3 years ago

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sunday morning — hong jisoo

word count | 0.7k

pairing | joshua (svt) x female reader

warning(s) | none!!

genre | fluff, parents au

summary: what song did you expect joshua to sing to your baby daughter?

a/n: i saw (affectionate) shua sunday morning agenda slander so this is my contribution 🤧🤧 ria bestie this is for you teehee thank you for the idea <3 @kwonsyoungs

Sunlight hits you squarely in the face when you wake up, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut as you roll over to face away from the window.

Joshua always forgets to draw the curtains properly.

Nuzzling your face into the pillow, you wonder how long it’d take for you to drift off into dreamland again. And you thought your sleep schedule prior to becoming a mother was already fifty shades of messed up.

You wouldn’t trade your happy family of three for anything in the world, but you’d be lying if you said you don’t miss sleeping in and napping whenever you want.

Eyes still tightly closed, your hand reaches out from underneath the covers to paw at Joshua’s side of the bed, and finally crack an eye open when you find it empty.

Now alert, you sit up abruptly, a decision you immediately regretted as the sudden jerk makes your head to spin and causes random shapes to scatter your vision. Where did your husband go? Did something happen with your daughter? What if he needs help?

You push the covers off your body and scramble out of bed instantly, tired self stumbling over your own feet as you make your way to the nursery. You can practically hear the erratic pounding of your heart in your ears from being so frazzled with worry. A million thoughts of what could be going wrong run through your mind. What if—

Your tense shoulders collapse with relief when you reach the nursery door.

Everything’s okay.

You know this because instead of hearing your daughter’s cries and Joshua’s hushed pleads, it’s the gentle strumming of a guitar that greets you, followed by your husband’s melodious singing voice just seconds later.

“Sunday morning, rain is falling. Steal some covers, share some skin. Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable…”

A soft smile stretches across your face upon recognising the song. Of course Joshua Hong would choose to sing this song to your daughter. You still remember how disappointed Jeonghan looked when he found out that her first words were, in fact, not “Sunday morning”.

And to think the poor man spent an entire afternoon trying to teach your baby to utter those two words. A for effort, you suppose.

Carefully, you twist the doorknob and crack the door open, silently watching your husband and daughter through the small crack. Warmth blooms in your chest as Joshua continues to sing to your baby with nothing but pure adoration in his eyes. Your smile widens at the sight of your daughter’s wide, glossy eyes as she stares at the guitar he’s playing, seemingly entranced by the way his fingers move across the strings.

Despite Joshua’s insistence that it isn’t the case, you can quite confidently say that your daughter has indeed inherited his shiny doe eyes.

“Driving slow on Sunday morning, well, I never want to leave…”

The verse comes to a close, and when your baby babbles as though trying to sing along, you bite down on the inside of your cheek to stifle a giggle, wanting to take in this endearing moment between father and daughter for a little more before making your presence known.

Joshua’s beam is as radiant as the sunlight streaming through the blinds as he slowly sets his guitar on the ground. His large hand envelops your daughter’s much smaller one, and you think your heart might just burst from love when he presses a gentle kiss to her tiny fingers.

“That sounded beautiful, angel,” he coos to your overjoyed baby before suddenly turning to face you, “I’m sure your mom agrees, doesn’t she?”

You mirror his teasing grin. “Oh, so you knew I’ve been standing here all along?”

“It’s my wifey-sense,” Joshua jokes, smiling brightly at you as you step into his outstretched arm, which wraps securely around your waist as you gently lift your daughter out of her crib and into your arms.

“Already outsinging your dad, aren’t you, angel?” you ask affectionately while stroking her soft, chubby cheek. You like to think she understands from the way your words elicit high-pitched giggles from her.

Joshua pouts, getting up from the ground to stand beside you, one of his hands reaching for your baby’s to get her attention. “Don’t listen to your mom,” he whines, “she’s being mean to me as usual.”

“Bet Uncle Hannie will disagree. Right, angel? He’ll take your side over your dad’s any day,” you say, gently tickling your baby and smiling when she lets out squeals of laughter.

“Mother and daughter ganging up against me, I see,” Joshua grumbles, moving to stand behind you to wrap his arms around you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Good morning, love.”

You crane your neck slightly to look at him. “Good morning, Shua,” you say sweetly. “What a lovely way to start off our Saturday morning, hm?”

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d point that out.”

a/n: wanted to post this before it’s the 6th here hehe :3 dad svt makes me so soft you have no idea ;;;;; also i was so tempted to name their daughter gia ahsjhwjs 🤧💗 thank you for reading this and i promise longer fics are on their way ;;;

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ljxlj48 · 3 years ago

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My duty, as princess chapter 04

Lee Jeno x fem reader

preview, 01, 02, 03, 04

Genre: arranged marriage au! royalty au!

Warnings: kinda of angsty :0

Word Count: 5.5K

Authors Note: There's people that enjoy this story and I can't even explain how happy it makes me. I love all of you that are enjoying the story and please don't be afraid to ask me anything whether its personal or about the story. There's a lot of things that I wanted to include but eventually took out because the stories length was already too long, so please ask me anything literally. hugs and kisses to everyone that enjoys the story <3

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Dinner was over and Jeno just left you at your chamber doors. “Chan a word?” you looked to your guard and walked through your doors, him following ensuite.

“Yes, my princess?” He shut the door behind him.

“Chan, it’s me,” you pleaded.

“(y/n), what’s wrong?” He took a step closer to you, taking your face in his hand.

“You’re not angry with me? You’re okay,” you paused, not finding the right words.

“My princess, are you trying to ask me if I’m okay with you and the Prince?” Chan laughed a little looking at you, pulling his hand away.

“Chan, I’m being serious, the last time,” he put his hand up stopping you.

“(y/n), I will always love you, but it’s time I step back and let you go,” Chan offered a sad smile, taking a step away from you, wanting to reach out and pull him close. Your arms wouldn’t move, felt the tears welling in your eyes.

“Always?” you questioned, wanting him to stay a little longer, “you’ll always love me, even if I love someone else?”

“I will always love you, my princess,” He smiled walking out the door, leaving you to your thoughts. You could feel the tears fall down your face, you couldn’t even understand why you were crying. You had an amazing day with Jeno, it finally felt like this union was more than a business contract, but you were selfish. You wanted more, you wanted a romance filled marriage with Jeno, a kingdom to serve, but you also wanted a relationship with Chan, just like back at home. You wanted it all, everything and everyone.

Three weeks away from the wedding, everything was in order finally. There were no more meetings with vendors, or talking about options you had, it was finally done planning. There was a few last things to manage, just finalizing the details. Chan and Hyunjin finally stopped following you everywhere in the palace, but they did remain close most of the time. Jeno spent every free moment he had with you, whether it was taking Hades for a walk, or morning breakfast, or walking you to dinner.

“I can find the dining hall by myself, your highness,” Jeno was walking you to dinner once again this evening.

“Princess, don’t take this away from me,” Jeno smirked, looking at you, “this is the only time I’m guaranteed with you.” This walk was the one thing that was a constant in yours and Jeno's schedule.

“Alright then, I’ll grant you the pleasure of escorting me to dinner,” you smirked, teasing the prince. The two of you turned the corner to face Park Jisoo, the sight already has the mask falling into place on your face.

“Jeno,” she called out to him lovingly, looking at him with soft eyes.

“Jisoo,” the way the name rolled off the tongue, he doesn’t call out to me like that, you thought.

She stepped closer, pulling at him, “we haven’t really talked for a minute now,” she sighed, still looking at him, longing for him, “I’ve missed you.” Watching them made your stomach turn.

“I, I’m sorry,” Jeno seemed out of breath, almost afraid to say the wrong thing. The mask was cracking.

“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” you said with a smile, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” You walked past them moving to the dinning hall, hoping, pleading the mask didn’t crack all the way through. Is this what Jeno felt when he saw you with Chan? You thought to yourself, how he felt, what he saw, what he thought, was he in as much pain as you were right now. You had no right to be angry that his heart belonged to someone else, yours did too.

Did, funny how one word makes all the difference. Your heart did belong to Chan, he was your love, your light, your warmth, he was your heart, back home. But here, here in Northcy, you embraced the cold, the sparkle of snow, the feeling of the wind in your face, your heart belongs to Jeno now. You didn’t even notice the shift, the change, when you finally fell in love with the pretty face Prince, who didn’t have a single thought bouncing around in that head of his.

“I,” missed you too, is what I wanted to say but, “I’m sorry,” was what came out. Jisoo, my first love, my high school sweetheart, she was born, bred to be my wife. That wasn’t a secret to anyone with half a brain, Jisoo’s parents were, are, the most powerful noble family, the only thing they didn’t have was royal status. And she was going to be exactly that, my wife.

“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” the princess smiled, it was fake, I could see right through the charade, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” She walked past the two of us, not sparring me a glance; it hurt, I can't explain why but it did. I was about to go after her, reach out to stop her, to wait for me, but there was something pulling me back, someone keeping me here. I looked down to see Jisoo’s hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me from chasing the princess.

“Jeno, please look at me, talk to me,” I turned to Jisoo. There were tears in her eyes, my heart broke to see her hurt, “you said you loved me, was it a lie?”

“It wasn’t a lie,” I didn’t know what to say at this point, I loved Jisoo but I love the princess too. What do I do?

“Wasn’t,” she chuckled at the word, “but it is now.” Tears fell down Jisoo’s face, what do I do?

“It isn’t a lie Jisoo, I did, do love you,” I was scrambling for words at this point, anything to make this right. What do I say?

“Just not as much as you love her,” Jisoo’s voice turned venomous at the mention of the princess. Why would she say it like that?

“Jisoo I am required to marry the princess,” I felt this invisible crown on my head, weighing down. “I love you Jisoo," I do, did at least, "but I cannot continue to see you,” my breathing was even, “I love my fiancée, and I am going to make this marriage work." I want an actually life with the princess, I want to be there for her, care for her, love her. "For me to do that, I cannot see you anymore, I cannot have two relationships.”

“I can never see you again?” Jisoo's look matched the same as the night I broke up with her, angry.

“I didn’t say that,” I was losing my confidence, “I just mean that we can not be sneaking around, meeting in private, you coming to my room late in the night, you and me have to stop.”

“Ha,” she looked away, not meeting me.

"However it would be best,” the final marker, how do you cut off someone you spent more than half your life knowing, a quarter of your life loving, “it’s best if all our meetings remain business strictly.” Mines and Jisoo’s relationship was over, to say it didn't hurt me too would be a lie.

I left Jisoo standing alone in the hall and made my way to the dining hall. When I got there, some people were sitting, others were standing and talking in small groups. The food hadn’t been brought out yet, so I made my way to the front of the table where father sat. There the princess sat across from Grandma Lee, the two were deep in conversation.

“I will support Prince Jeno in every decision that he makes, I have no intention of taking his crown from him,” I heard the princess tell Grandma Lee when I got near, “your majesty, I agreed to this union because I know that it will be beneficial to my people and my kingdom. No one truly forced me into this, I didn’t argue when my parents presented this to me.” The princess finished her statement.

“I know my grandson,” I paused a little away from the table, hearing Grandma Lee speak, the two not noticing my presence just yet, “he is a good boy but he doesn’t trust easily, and for anything to work between the two of you, there needs to be trust” Grandma Lee looked at the princess as if she had already committed treason.

“I have gotten to know Jeno in these past few months that I have been in Northcy,” the princess paused, taking a sip of water, “and I truly trust Jeno to do what is best for our kingdoms. If you had asked me when I arrived if I trusted him, my answer would not be the same, but after getting to know him, knowing what kind of Prince and man he is. There is no doubt that he will make a fine king.”

The princess’ confidence in me had blood rushing to my cheeks, it fed my ego, she believed in me. I made my way to the table, taking my seat next to the princess and I looked at her. She was, is, the girl I'm going to marry, and that thought has never brought me such joy.

Dinner sitting next to the prince was anything but calm, your stomach did flips at every bite you swallowed. The way Jisoo and Jeno looked at each other was something you couldn’t erase from your memory. Jealousy, you were starting to become jealous of the relationship Jisoo and Jeno had, the relationship you wanted with Jeno. Jealousy was a nasty little thing that caused people to do nasty stupid things. And you did something very stupid.

Now here you were standing in between Jeno and Chan wondering why you thought this was a good idea. You were stupid, you weren’t thinking and you just wanted to be with someone, so you called Chan after dinner. Well not right after dinner, it was more like 11pm when you called Chan, but Jeno wanted to go stargazing tonight. You and Chan were just sitting on the couch, and maybe just, maybe, you kissed Chan, when Jeno walked in.

So now here you were standing in between a very disappointed Chan and a very angry Jeno.

“Your highness, I apologize for the misunderstanding, it seems the princess wasn’t clear,” Chan said bowing to Jeno, you looked at him utterly shocked he didn’t even attempt to put up a fight, “I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Chan?” you called out to him as he made his way to the door, “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, Princess, I am serious because you were mad, so you used me,” Chan was furious, your heart started to race, tears welling in your eyes, palms sweating. This wasn’t your intention. Chan had never in the past three years ever just called you princess, it was always ‘my princess,’ and it hurt not hearing the my.

Chan walked out slamming the door behind him, Jeno started to chuckle after Chan left. “Really princess?” He looked at you disgusted, “need I remind you, you’re my fiancée.”

“Oh please Jeno,” you were angry, Jeno had no right to judge you, “don’t make it seem you’re in love with me now.”

“Yeah, well at least I wasn’t sticking my tongue down another girl's throat,” Jeno was starting to raise his voice.

“You didn’t need to,” you matched his volume, “you made it evident who you loved without that.”

“What are you even talking about?” Jeno looked at you dumbfounded.

“You and Jisoo, don’t pretend you’re not in love with her, Jeno,” you sighed and decided to take a seat.

“Are you serious right now?” Jeno was growing more angry, “you make it seem like you’re in love with me, when clearly you don’t care about how I feel. All you care about is your little guard.”

“That is uncalled for,” you practically yelled, pointing at Jeno.

“I'm right though,” he yelled at you, “you don’t love me, you love Chan, always have and always will.”

“Don’t kid yourself Jeno, of course I love Chan and you love Jisoo, that’s that,” you spoke in a normal voice, pulling the mask on.

“I didn’t fool around though,” Jeno said, still wanting to argue.

“Oh yeah? You didn’t?” You heard, not from Jisoo, or Jeno, but from Fei and Mei, “what about all those nights when Jisoo came to your room?” Jeno looked shocked at your knowledge, “don’t act so surprised, you know these walls have ears and eyes,” the mask was cracking, you wanted to cry. “Don’t pretend we could make anything between us work, this marriage, you,” you gestured to Jeno, “is nothing more than my duty, as princess,” you were done fighting, not having the energy for this anymore. You left Jeno sitting in the seating area of your chambers walking to the bathroom.

After a moment you heard the door open and close. Jeno left. The tears fell, you just laid in bed crying waiting for sleep to take over.

The next day, you were supposed to have breakfast at Jeno’s chambers with him, instead opting to eat in your own chambers. After breakfast, you had a meeting with Queen Jaeyeon and the wedding organizer. The wedding organizer will be incharge on the day of the wedding, allowing you, or more like Queen Jaeyeon to enjoy the day.

That meeting took nearly three hours, by the time it was over, there was only an hour before you had to meet the ladies' daughters of the council for lunch. You made it back to your chambers, changed your clothes, freshened up your makeup, and went back down to have lunch. The Luncheon was held at one of the many drawing rooms, this room was called the pink room, previously known as the princess room. The walls were painted a blush pink, and the decor was shades of pink with gold accents. By the time you made it to the room, the majority of the girls were there already, just waiting for one or two more. When you looked around the room, to the girls, you noticed only one person was missing, Park Jisoo. Of course she was late.

“My apologies for being late, your highness,” Jisoo walked in the door, she smirked as she said her apologies. You thought to yourself, ‘this bitch.’

“You’re here now,” you smiled, the mask was on, “that’s what matters. Please ladies let us all take our seats.”

As soon as everyone was seated, maids brought out the food before long, you sat at the head of the table looking out to every girl there. You had never wished for Queen Jaeyeon ever in your stay in Northcy but right now, right here, you wished she was here.

“Your highness, are you excited for the wedding?” one of the girls, Giselle, daughter of Lord Osaki.

“Excited as anyone would be,” You wished this lunch would be over.

“Where will be the honeymoon, Princess?” Yeri asked, daughter of Lord Kim, her family was in charge of the ports in the country.

“The honeymoon will be pushed back until a better time,” You and Jeno were supposed to travel into Modia after the wedding, but it will most likely be pushed back.

“Are you ready to be Queen, Princess?” Jisoo asked, her tone was trained.

You were taken back by the question. “I don’t understand the nature of your question,” you said trying to mask the shock in your voice.

“Jeno,” she looked up from her plate shocked, placing her hand over her heart, “excuse me, I meant Prince Jeno.” Fake, is all you thought. “Prince Jeno, said that King Donghae would be stepping down after the wedding,” she looked at you, the look behind her eyes were taunting, “you and the Prince are to be crowned, correct?”

Your grip on your fork tightening, how dare Jeno tell her and not me, you thought. Jeno should’ve told you, since it was your head that had to wear that crown and not hers. “Ah, I understand now,” the mask you wore was stronger than you thought, “Prince Jeno did inform me of this, but as it stands King Donghae hasn’t made it official just yet.” You smiled, this is your future council, and to hell if you were gonna let someone else run it. “If King Donghae decides to go through with this, then both me and the Prince will be honored to take on that duty, but as it is to no one’s surprise, me and the Prince will sooner or later have to take on that duty.” You looked around to all the girls, trying to give a reassuring look.

“Of course, your highness,” she gritted her teeth, fake through and through, you thought to yourself. That was the last of the questions you got, the girls returned to whispering and talking amongst themselves. No one really talked to you, just giving you looks every other sentence, looking for a nod of approval, one you always gave.

After lunch there was supposed to be a council meeting, in which you were required to attend. There had been many council meetings since the arrivals of all the noble families, many of which you did attend but this was the first that actually required your attendance. As you left the pink room, there was a voice calling out for you.

“Princess (y/n),” a girl called from behind you. You half turned to see her, and by that time she was already next to you, “Zhong Chu-Hua, the granddaughter of Lady Zhong.” She bowed to you, showing her respect.

“Ah, yes, I remember,” unsure as to why this girl needed your attention.

“I see Jisoo has made herself known to you,” Chu-Hua spoke knowingly.

“She has,” the two of you made your way to the throne room, it was where the council meeting was being held.

“Jisoo and I have known each other since before grade school,” Zhong Chu-Hua, was the eldest grandchild of the Zhong family, they owned large amounts of land, real estate moguls. “Jisoo and the Prince were always close, as I am sure you’re aware of.”

“I am,” the two of you made your way across the main foyer, the doors of the dining hall were opening, and the Lord’s lunch had ended. They were making their way to the throne room as well.

“I don’t mean to be discourteous Princess,” you stopped to look at Chu-Hua, and she stared directly back at you, “Jisoo will do whatever necessary to get the crown, she doesn’t know what it's like to lose.”

You smiled at Chu-Hua, then turned and continued to walk forward towards the throne room, “have not worry Chu-Hua, I will be quite alright,” you smirked. The two of you came up to the throne room, the doors to the room still closed. You looked around and saw Jeno talking to Mark and Haechan in what appeared to be a hushed voice. You turned more and saw Chan and Hyunjin in the corner, you made eye contact with Chan and he looked away.

Your heart hurt, you had no intention of hurting Chan the way you did. You let out a breath, “are you alright Princess?” Chu-Hua asked startlingly, you had forgotten for a second that she was standing next to you.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I’m fine, thank you,” not a second later the doors to the throne room had opened. Thank goodness, you were getting worried for a second there.

Walking into the throne room, you bid Chu-Hua a goodbye as you made your way to the front of the room. You found the prince, no words were exchanged between the two of you. Jeno placed a hand on the small of your back guiding you to the front of the room, the mask pulled onto your face. To anyone looking at you and Jeno, you guys would seem like a normal loving couple.

You sat in your seat, behind the queen’s throne on the right hand side. Jeno’s seat was behind the king’s throne on the left hand side. It was symbolism, to show that you and Jeno were the future. People began taking their seats in the room, Mark and Haechan’s seats were at the front of the room facing the rest of the council, but not on the elevated stage that yours and Jeno’s was. It was a row of three seats, the first remained empty, then Mark sat and Haechan next to him.

Lord Park’s family sat closest to the front on one side, no one in between them and the throne. Jisoo looked at you and smirked. You never wore a tiara or a crown, just the necklace of the crown, you felt for that necklace, fiddling with the pendant between your fingers. You reminded yourself ‘I’m the princess, I wear the crown, I have the power’

After everyone had taken their seats, the doors behind you and Jeno opened, and entered into the King and Queen. Everyone, including you and Jeno, rose and bowed to them, as they took their seats. When King Donghae and Queen Jaeyeon stood in front of their thrones, the King waved everyone to sit. He began to make a speech after, one you tuned out before it even began.

You tuned out the majority of the meeting, wishing to be in your chambers away from everyone.

I have been in countless council meetings, more often than not they were filled with people kissing up to father in attempts to get grants for whatever venture they want to pursue. I looked over to the princess, she was obviously not paying much attention. We had put on a show for the council before the meeting started, knowing that the council members would be watching. I want to reach out to her, apologize for my behavior the other night. I didn’t have much of a right to be mad at her, or react the way I did.

She loved someone else, so did I. I wanted to, needed to, apologize to the princess and Chan. I thought of Chan, he was someone just caught in the middle, loving someone he wasn’t allowed to love.

When the council meeting finally ended, we put on another show for the council. Father and mother left behind the door first, then me and the princess followed behind them. I placed my hand on the small of her back, it looked gentle and kind to anyone else, but she knew it was a show.

“Princess,” I stopped her after the doors closed behind us, “I want to apologize.”

“You had no right,” she stabbed my chest with her finger, she was angry, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.”

“Excuse me?” Playing both sides? What was she talking about?

“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day, and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings,” she knew, “Tell me Prince Jeno, are you the only one allowed to have it all?”

“What?” All? All of what do I have?

“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?” No, I don’t get to have both. I don’t want both, not anymore at least. I just want you, Princess, I only have love left for you. She walked away before I could tell her any of this. She left me standing there, heart in hand.

The council meeting was finally over, you and Jeno put on another show for the council. The doors closed behind you, leaving you and Jeno to stand alone.

“Princess, I want to apologize,” Jeno started off.

As he should, he was the one that overreacted, he loved someone else, why couldn’t you? “You had no right,” you started to poke at his chest, his firm, nicely built chest, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.” you were angry but you couldn’t figure out if you were more angry with him or yourself.

“Excuse me?” Jeno looked clueless. Actually it was quite adorable, but still.

“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day, and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings,” you knew, you knew Jeno loved Jisoo, knew from the moment you first saw their picture, but today. Jisoo knew information that you should’ve known, that Jeno should’ve told you. “Tell me Prince Jeno, are you the only one allowed to have it all?”

“What?” You hated this, you wanted to be angry with Jeno, angry with him for how he acted, angry that he continued to see Jisoo, angry that you couldn’t have it all, but you couldn’t help but think if the roles were reversed, would you have acted differently than him?

“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?” No matter how much you love Jeno you couldn’t get over the fact that he blew up on you because you loved someone else just like him.

You walked away, leaving Jeno standing there behind you. You wanted Jeno, but you weren’t ready to let go of Chan. Just not yet.

After leaving Jeno standing there, you went to find Chan. Chan and Hyunjin were staying in the palace barracks. A building a little away from the palace, you made your way there, hoping that Chan was there.

When you entered the barracks, all the guards stood to bow to you. At times you loved the power trip you felt when this happened, when people moved just by your presence. At other times, like right now, you hated it, you wished to be invisible, wished that you could come in here like it was nothing.

“Please, relax, rest,” you stated, waving to them to sit down, “I don’t mean to intrude.”

“No intrusion at all your highness,” Johnny, the captain of the palace guards, said, “may I ask what brings you down here, Princess?”

“I came to see my guards, are they here?”

“Yes, your highness, right this way,” Johnny led you through the barracks, to a small room in the back. The barracks was set up like a cabin, with a main sitting area in the front with a kitchen and then halls that lead to different bedrooms. “Right here, your highness.”

You pushed open the door to a bedroom that was smaller than your bathroom. A bunk bed up against one wall and two chairs with a small table set to the other side. Hyunjin laid on the bottom bunk, while Chan sat on one of the chairs leaning up against the wall.

Hyunjin stood when he noticed you in the doorway, Chan remained seated, the captain had left already. “Princess,” Hyunjin said, bowing to you.

“Hyunjin, please,” you grimaced at him bowing.

“(y/n),” Hyunjin said like an apology.

“Can you give me and Chan a minute?” You asked.

“Of course,” Hyunjin gave you a sad smile, he knew.

You entered the room and took the seat across from Chan, he stood up and made his way to the small window, looking out.

“Chan,” you called to him, hoping he would at least look at you, he didn’t. “It wasn’t my intention to use you.” Chan scoffed, but refused to turn around and face you. “But I know you felt like that, so I want to apologize,” Chan looked down, his hands in his pocket. “I love you, Chan.”

“Stop,” Chan turned around to face you, putting his hand up to stop you. “(y/n), I love you, you loved me,” he put emphasis on the ‘ed’ part. You felt the tears well in your eyes, you hated it, only Chan could bring you to tears in mere seconds, “don’t lie (y/n).” Chan’s words were stern, borderline hurtful.

“I could never lie to you,” you looked down at your lap, trying to prevent the tears from falling. “That night I wanted to feel like how I felt back home,” Chan’s gaze softened, “but I just hurt you instead, for that I’m sorry.” The tears fell freely, Chan sat across from you and placed his hand on yours in your lap.

“My princess, you know I could never stay mad at you,” Chan smiled, “but I’m not a toy for you to play with.”

“I know that.”

“And not for you to make the Prince jealous,” you looked down back to your lap.

“I’m sorry,” was all you could say. Chan pulled you up from your chair but you refused to meet his gaze. He pulled you in for a hug and you felt more tears fall, after crying into his chest for longer than appropriate. Chan put his hand under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“No more tears, My princess,” using his free hand wiping the tears away from your face.

Chan walked you back to your chambers, the silence between you two was comfortable, it felt like before. You were just down the hall, you could see your chamber doors from where you were.

“You need to apologize to the Prince,” Chan spoke up.

“What?” you looked at him confused, “Why do I need to apologize to him?”

“You were jealous, you sought comfort from another, while being engaged to the Prince,” Chan looked at you like you were a child, “Tell me my princess, if you had walked in on the prince kissing the other girl, would you react differently than him?”

You hated that Chan knew you better than most, hated that he could read every part of you, hated that he always knew where your heart lied. “I do not wish to apologize to the prince,” you said, looking away from Chan trying to show your superiority.

“My princess,” Chan said, grabbing your wrist, you were in front of your chamber’s door, he pulled you to face him, “apologize to the prince, he did not do anything to deserve your jealous treatment.” Chan looked at you as if you were a child, you pouted, red rushing to your cheeks, ready to throw a tantrum about a stupid apology. “Don’t be a brat, and just apologize, my princess,” Chan smirked knowing exactly what you were gonna do, “you’ll feel a lot better once you do.” Chan started to walk away, but before completely leaving you he turned around walking backwards and said “maybe you’ll get lucky,” with a wink.

You had half a mind to chase him and scold him for making such an inappropriate comment, but at the same time, you just laughed. You felt content, and ready to let Chan go. Hopefully Jeno isn’t too angry with you, you hoped that you didn’t push him too far away.

The evening feast for tonight was cancelled, something about emergency meetings. Which you gladly accepted, you were left to dine alone in your chambers, you invited Fei and Mei to eat with you, which luckily for you they accepted. Mei had also slipped in the invitation to Hyunjin and Chan, which you were grateful for. The five of you sat in your chambers eating dinner, just like back home when everyone had meetings and you were left to roam the palace alone.

The five of you laughed, talked, borderline cried, you never wanted dinner to end. “No but don’t you remember that time, (y/n) beat Minho?” Hyunjin laughed, “the look on his face.” You all laughed remembering that race.

“Please, nothing beats the time (y/n) flicked off the Prince of Aspos,” Fei recounted, causing Mei to choke on her drink recalling the night.

“That was the least I could do, considering he said ‘it would be an honor to lick the honey from your toes,’” you mocked the prince of Aspos, everyone nearly died laughing recalling exactly how he sounded.

“What about when (y/n) threw her birthday cake, hitting the prince dead center in the face,” Hyunjin said, everyone laughed, but you paused for a minute, the mention of your late brother taking you back for a second.

“I remember that,” you smiled to yourself, recalling that birthday, “he said ‘you can’t be queen, you’re just a big baby.” You chuckled, everyone was quiet now watching you recalling that evening. “I said, ‘I am going to be queen, just you watch’ and he went,” you let out a breath, the tears were there but not fallen yet, you felt like you were always crying while here, “he went ‘but you’ll be an ugly one’ and so,” you smiled, you missed your brother but you couldn’t mourn him forever, “and so I chucked the biggest chunk of cake my hand could hold and it really hit his face dead center.” You doubled over to laugh, and the rest laughed at the memory. The now sad but fond memory. “I almost forgot about that night,” a tear was rolling down your cheek, but your smile was still evident, “thank you for reminding me Hyunjin.”

“Of course,” Hyunjin offered a soft smile. The rest of the night there were exchanges of stories of all the reckless things you did in Modia. You were reminded no matter how alone you felt, there were people here that cared. Fei, Mei, Hyunjin and Chan, they cared about you, they knew, loved, adored you, and you were utterly, helplessly, whole-heartedly and forever grateful to them.

It was well into the night when you finally bid them a farewell, when you all but physically shoved them out your door. You were grateful for their company but also in desperate need for a good night's rest. Finally getting them out the door, you hopped into the shower. From there you did your nightly routine, changed and got into bed. It seemed as soon as you dropped your phone on the nightstand, sleep took over. Never falling asleep so fast, you felt relief.

04 > 05

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@floweronacloud @cookydream @nctstrawberrycow @marklexleaf @thejeongjaehyun @jackyeongljin @thejungjaehyun

#lee jeno #jeno x reader #jeno imagines #nct jeno #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct series #nct x reader #nct imagines #lee jeno x reader #jeno fanfic #nct royal au #nct scenarios

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mwyooi · 3 years ago

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★ PROTECTIVE | BLACKPINK

synopsis. you are a member of Blackpink, while performing on stage/in public you encounter a pervert fan

tw/cw. up skirting, noncon photographing, reader gets groped, reader gets catcalled, angst

note. Trying to finish all my drafts 💔💔

★ LISA

You guys were on the Blackpink in Your area tour, now in Korea for your last show. You guys had quite a few costume changes and Liked pretty much all of them, but during DDU-DU DDU-DU you were wearing a short skirt that was pretty revealing.

Mid performance Lisa noticed a fan in the front row pointing his camera under your skirt. Her heart sank as soon as she saw him.

She immediately stopped dancing, moving over to you and telling you what was going on. When she saw how upset you were she signaled for the music to stop, catching the other 3 members off guard.

“Can someone escort him out?” She asked security as she pointed to the fan. “He’s taking pictures under Y/n’s skirt.” When he left the crowd the girls immediately hugged you.

After pulling back Lisa wiped your tears and kissed your cheek in a comforting manner. “We’ll deal with that guy later..”

★ JENNIE

The group was returning from LA. You waved to the flashing cameras and fans, holding Jennie’s hand the whole way through the crowd when you were stopped by a frantic tap on your shoulder.

“Please, Y/n! A picture please!” The men begged and you nodded, taking the phone from his hand. You gave the mans phone to Jennie, standing between the men and posing.

Just when she took the picture you let out a yelp. The man groped you. You turned around, a look of disgust plastered on your face.

“Hey! Don’t do that!” Jennie yelled, snatching your arm. “She was nice enough to take a picture with you, what’s wrong with you?!” She was shocked.

The fans and paparazzi were going crazy..Some fans even screaming at the man in your defense. Jennie deleted the photo, pushing past the two men as she dragged you through the crowd.

★ JISOO

You and Jisoo were returning to your hotel. You had just finished shopping and decided the few bags of clothes you had was enough. Paparazzi was everywhere, updating everyone on the shopping date you guys went on.

Just as you walked past a group of fans a man whistled, his friends calling out disgusting comments about your breasts.

You immediately turned around to figure out who said it, Jisoo following your actions.

Seeing the man’s stupid smirk made you want to throw up. You turned around, swallowing hard as you held back tears..now covering your face from the cameras.

“Who said that?” Jisoo asked, stopping in her tracks. The men proudly raised their hands.

“That’s not something to be proud of you pervs.” She spat, turning around to comfort you.

★ ROSÉ

Rosé and you finished your dance in the front of the stage, holding hands as you moved to the back. Suddenly your leg got pulled, rosé letting go of your hand and moving to the back.

You missed your cue, someone now tugging your leg, trying to bring you down. A bunch of other fans took the opportunity to grab your body as well, trying to feel up your body..leaving you on the floor of the stage.

“Hey, Stop! Hey!” You screamed as one hand got too high up your leg.

Jisoo grabbed your arm, attempting to tug you out of their grip. All while the other girls call security to help. “Stop!” She said sternly, making the fans let go.

When you were released the security and Jisoo took you off stage. “Are you okay?” She asked, handing you a water and checking the places fans touched.

“I’m fine just shocked.” You say, holding back tears as your hand shook. She nods landing a kiss on your cheek while rubbing your back comfortingly.

#blackpink #blinks #blackpink angst #blackpink fluff #blackpink lisa #blackpink jennie #blackpink jisoo #blackpink rose

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justalildumpling · 2 years ago

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list your top 10 biases and answer the following questions

~ ty @sungbeam & @polarisjisung for the tag

top 10 biases:

na jaemin (nct)

lee donghyuck (nct)

kim sunwoo (tbz)

kim jisoo (bp)

lee jaehyun (tbz)

zhong chenle (nct)

yu jimin (aespa)

mark lee (nct)

johnny suh (nct)

hwang yeji (itzy)

(lmao the way half of them are from nct😩)

questions!

between 1 and 4 who would your rather kiss? jaemin

between 2 and 7 who would be your best friend? haechan! i feel like we’re similar in terms of personality and humour wise and he’s reminds me of my best friend irl☺️

between 5 and 10 who has a better voice? ARUGEHE im so sorry yeji😭 i have to choose hyunjae because UM MISS MA’AM HAVE U HEARD HIS VOICE??? his all about you cover😩😩🫶

between 1 and 8 who is the funniest? they’re both funny in completely different ways but i feel like i resonate with jaemin’s humour more (i think i just have a thing for just weirdass things🤔

between 6 and 9 who would you date? johnny suh. im sorry lele ily and ur daegal but it’s johnny🤷‍♀️ how could i not?

between 9 and 10 who would you do a collaboration with? OMG HWANG YEJI AND HER DANCING SKILLS PLEASEEEEEE if i were to have a collab with any idol i would still choose yeji, she’s just amazing and so so passionate on stage

between 4 and 8 who is the better dancer? mark, our sopa dance king! his simon says cover says it all

between 3 and 5 who would you most likely marry? THIS IS ILLEGAL- ok hear me out, kim sunwoo seems like bf material but hyunjae seems like husband material at least to me rn

between 1 and 7 who would you nurse when they are sick? are u kidding me? ur making me choose between- i- im sorry im have to choose jaemin🤧🤧 i feel like he cares about others all the time and needs someone to take care of him for a change

between 2 and 3 who has a better smile? both. nope idc if this isn’t allowed but ur making choose between the two suns of the group like that’s not possible😐

between 6 and 8 who would you vacation with? ok, even tho it’s more likely that chenle would leave me in the middle of nowhere at least he won’t be lost with me😭 also just chenle in 7llin in our youth was just wholesome, i want those vibes too

tagging w/ no pressure: @pastelsicheng @sehunniepot @daegall + anyone else who wants to do it!!

#fun times with dumpling 🐳#this is so fun!! but so torturous at the same time💀#hua🪷#duckie🍀

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bokuroar · 3 years ago

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seventeen’s 95z as your boyfriend

this is my first time writing for seventeen hence i started with 95z only just to take it slow ! feedback in any form is much appreciated <3

95z, 96z,

☆ CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

— for seungcheol, nothing could express affection and fondness more than kisses could. feather-like kisses on the nose when the knit of your sweater doesn’t suffice to shelter you from the cold, playful ones all over your cheeks when he’s convincing you to have dinner in HIS favorite restaurant for the third night in a row, gentle ones on your forehead that affirms his presence even when you try to push him away, passionate on almost everywhere during the times you can’t get enough of each other. but the most loving one is placed upon your lips, the kind of kiss that you wish you’d have for the rest of your life. he’d kiss your soul, too. it would make you forget what was life like before his love. his lips is his heart- when words are not enough, seungcheol kisses himself to you. fearlessly, wholly.

☆ YOON JEONGHAN

— nobody radiates safety more than yoon jeonghan does. he is attentive as he is observant. he notices details that even you are not aware of. he senses your discomfort through your tight smile. he knows you’ve had a little too much to drink at the slight wobble as you stand up. jeonghan is aware that you miss him so bad when he hears your shaky voice through his phone miles apart. he is quick to find your eyes and send you a smile across the room full of people. jeonghan is the kind of lover who’d know the tiniest parts of you like the back of his hand. all your secrets are stories he’s already heard. your fears are safely tucked away in his chest that if they ever choose to come out he’d protect you with all his heart. you are a vault of love that only jeonghan has the key to.

☆ HONG JISOO

— joshua makes the difference between a friend and a lover indistinguishable. he is your partner-in-crime who wouldn’t even dream bailing on you no matter how close you got to being caught. he is your journal you open up and allow yourself be vulnerable to. the pages of his patience are infinite. joshua loves you like a best friend. his hands that subtly caress your knees while you share the funniest thing that has happened to you that day has the same gentleness in the way he wipes your tears when you’re sad. the monsters under your bed that sometimes lurk as insecurities are vanished by joshua’s soft whispers that you are, and always will be, enough.

thoughts? <3

#✏️.seventeen #💎.95z #seventeen #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen imagines #seungcheol #jeonghan #joshua #scoups #seungcheol x reader #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #svt #svt x reader #svt fanfic #svt fluff #Spotify

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purecantarella · 4 years ago

Text

✨ Main Masterlist ✨

Legend: ❄️- Fluff, 🌧- Angst, 🔥- Smut, 🐶- A/B/O Dynamics

Kinktober 2022 - 🔥

🎵 Kpop 🎵

BLACKPINK

REACTIONS :

How You Meet - ❄️

Your First Kiss - ❄️

First ‘I Love You’ - ❄️

You Steal Her Clothes - ❄️

Choosing Her Career Over Her S/O - 🌧

Waking Up Next to Their S/O - ❄️

Wearing Revealing Clothes - ❄️🔥

Break-up Prank - ❄️🌧 (🔥)

Their S/O Stressing Because of College - ❄️🌧

They Propose - ❄️

IMAGINES :

Jisoo

The High Never Hurt Anyone - 🔥🐶

Never Unheard, Never Unseen - ❄️

Jennie

Priorities - ❄️🌧

Share You Burden - ❄️🌧

The Promise - 🌧 (❄️)

A Long Time Coming - ❄️ (🌧)

Rosé / Chaeyoung

Hush - 🔥🐶

I’m Yours - 🔥🐶

Good Girl - 🔥🐶

Next to You - ❄️

A Moments Indulgence - ❄️

Hard to Love - 🌧

Lisa

As Long As It’s You - 🔥🐶

The Best Gift - ❄️

All For You - ❄️

In the Past - ❄️🌧

Feeling Hot - ❄️🌧

ITZY

REACTIONS :

How You Met - ❄️

First Kiss - ❄️

First ‘I Love You’ - ❄️(🌧)

Staring at Their S/O Lovingly - ❄

IMAGINES :

Yeji

Still Moments - ❄️

Don’t Apologize - 🌧❄️

She’s My Bestfriend - ❄️(🌧)

Need a Little Sweetness - ❄️

Lia / Jisu

The Photographer - ❄️

Ryujin

Beauty to Ugly - ❄

I’ve Got You - ❄️🌧

In Your Corner - ❄️(🌧)

She’s My Bestfriend - ❄️(🌧)

Finally Found You - ❄

Jealousy, jealousy - 🔥

Chaeryeong

Song of the Heart - 🌧❄️

Tugging at my Heartstrings - ❄️

Just the Beginning - ❄️

Yuna

Sweet Promises - 🌧❄️

Everything in Your Silence - ❄️

Love It - ❄️

Too Little, Not Too Late - ❄️🌧

MAMAMOO

REACTIONS :

How You Meet - ❄️

First Kiss - ❄️🌧

First “I Love You” - ❄️🔥

IMAGINES :

Solar

A Thousand Reasons - 🌧

Moonbyul

My Princess - ❄️

Wheein

I Love You - ❄️

Hwasa

The Right Time - ❄️

Truth Unspoken - ❄️🌧

Precious Alpha - ❄️

OTHERS :

MTL to Crush on / Date a Tomboy - ❄️

TWICE

REACTIONS :

How You Meet - ❄️

First Kiss - ❄️

First ‘I Love You’

~ Unnie Line + Middle Line

~ Maknae Line

IMAGINES :

Nayeon

Revamped Rhapsody - 🌧

Happy Nayeon Day!

Jeongyeon

Stuck With You

Momo

Mary Sue - ❄️

Sana

Bad Days - ❄️🌧

~ [Bad Days pt 2] : Better Days - ❄️🌧

Happy Sana Day! - ❄️

Storms Aren’t Too Bad - ❄️

Jihyo

Nightmares Turned Dreams - ❄️🌧

Relationship Traditions - 🔥❄️

Miss Fortune

[Prologue][1][2][3][4][5]

Staying In - 🔥❄️

Mina

I’ll Always Find You - 🌧

Moonlight - ❄️

Dahyun

Reunited - ❄️🌧🔥

Summer Nights - ❄️

Chaeyoung

Tattooed Heart - ❄️

Tzuyu

Miss Confident - ❄️

My Ball of Sunshine - ❄️

Roses - ❄️ (🌧)

HEADCANONS :

Favorite Types of Kisses - ❄️

Jealous!Tzuyu x Clingy!Sana - ❄️🌧

Red Velvet

REACTIONS :

How You Met - ❄️

IMAGINES :

Irene

none yet…

Seulgi

none yet…

Wendy

Curious - ❄️

Joy

none yet…

Yeri

none yet…

🎮 Games 🎮

👑Choices : Queen B 👑

Mrs Hughes - ❄️

Heaven in Hell - ❄️🌧

Who Are You? - ❄️

~ [Who Are You? part 2] Who I Am - ❄️

The Amazing Adventures of Bea Hughes - ❄️

Blank Canvas - ❄️

#masterlist #purecantarella

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let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

Text

What Could've Been

Requested By Anon: "pls do a rosé or jennie imagine where the reader is into them but they just keep rejecting her. then they just cross the line one day and say hurtful things to y/n so the reader just ended up stopped pursuing them. then someone else (could be the other rosé or jennie also of yk what i mean) became interested in y/n and they get all petty and jealous yk djajdua,, COULD BE ANY ENDING HFHSHAU I'M JUST A REAL SUCKER FOR IMAGINES LIKE THIS TYSM"

Pairing: Love Triangle -- Jennie x Fem!Reader and Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 7,333

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Rejection, Crying, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: ⚠️ Important ⚠️ Class, gather round -- we have some things to discuss. I'm not angry, just... disappointed. *dramatic music*

First off, I want to address something with asks: as I've stated before, there's no certain amount of time that any one request will take me. Sometimes I'm more inspired by one than others, and sometimes I legitimately lack the time or brainpower to write a piece that holds true to my standards.

Please, refrain from messaging me multiple times about a request. Once is fine, especially if it's been awhile since you first asked, but I'm doing my best to give you starving fans the content you wish to see, and that takes time.

To those of you who continue to be patient with me: I sincerely appreciate it.

Secondly, I hope you enjoy this. ♡ Happy Reading ♡

PS ~ Anon, I still love you. Now enjoy this fic or you're grounded.

PPS ~ It gets better as it goes on

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Thank you," you politely say to your driver, handing him some money before stepping out of the sleek black car and onto the sidewalk. The bottoms of your shoes crunch lightly as they come in contact with the concrete, steadily announcing your course towards the performance hall.

You let out a breath as you stand in the elevator, alone with your thoughts in the small space as it ascends.

Your hands nervously palm the fresh bouquets of flowers you purchased on your way here -- the girls just finished a comeback stage, so you've decided to surprise them and show your love. You spent time picking out a personalized batch for each of them, making sure to mix their favorite colors and types, but you went even further for Rosé: you hand picked a larger, special array, choosing them based on their meaning and how much you think she'll appreciate them. Over the years, you've made sure to note her favorite ones; that came in handy tonight, and the florist assisting you definitely appreciated your attention to detail.

Too chicken to go to her first, you decide to bring the other girls their gifts now and save Rosie for last. All of them are unwinding independently in their dressing rooms right now, enjoying some much needed alone time before coming back together later to celebrate.

"Jisoo-yah!" You sing-song, rapping lightly on the door. It's slightly ajar, but you still knock out of respect for her privacy.

In an instant, the door swings open to reveal a very happy unnie. "Y/N! I've missed you!" She nearly shouts, pulling you in for an eager hug. A surprised noise leaves her lips as her hands come in contact with the bundle behind your back, crinkling the plastic slightly in her excited state.

"I got you a present," you say, smiling softly. Jisoo can feel the way your cheeks raise up, brushing against the skin of her neck as your head rests there, and her heart melts. After pulling out of the embrace, she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

"Well? Let me see!" You do as she asks with a chuckle, pulling her bunch out of the hold of the rubber band that's keeping them all together. "I got your favorite." You grin, sticking them out for her to see. Her eyes widen at the sight, and she's touched by the kind gesture. Flowers aren't particularly unique in terms of what companies and fans send them, but seeing the effort you put in makes it incredibly special. She couldn't be happier.

"Y/N, you're the best." She presses a small kiss to your cheek as a thank you, and invites you in right after. Jisoo considers you to be one of the closest friends she has, so being apart hasn't been easy on her. You're the only person she's okay with venting and crying in front of, and she's been needing that lately. Sensing this, you pull a chair up to her vanity and let her fill you in on all the mayhem you missed out on during your time away, holding her hand for reassurance. When she gets a little frustrated, you rub her back gently, telling her to take her time.

Jisoo is beyond thankful for you, and that becomes more and more apparent the closer you two get. Times like these hold a special place in her heart and remind her of why she loves you so much. You truly are a great friend to have, and there's no one she'd rather have in her corner.

----

"Incoming! 3...2...1…" You call out, standing in front of Lisa's door, ready to knock it down and barge in. The greeting is an inside joke between the two of you, though neither of you know where its origins lie.

"Yah! Hold on!" She shouts, nearly tripping and falling from how quick she rushes to the door. You laugh at the sounds of chaos coming from inside, wincing slightly when a thud rings out. Hair slightly disheveled, she opens the door with a huff. "This had better be good, because I almost died."

Wordlessly, you reveal her present and smirk as the halfhearted scowl on her face disappears completely, giving way to a dopey grin. "You remembered?" She asks quietly, running her fingers over the petals of her all-time favorite flower. The fact that she sounds so shocked makes you sad -- not many people take enough time to notice the little things. They'd rather focus on profiting off of the girls' talents than actually caring enough to get to know them.

"Of course I did, Lisa. You're one of my best friends; how could I forget?" The maknae pulls you in for a meaningful hug, allowing the gesture to tell you all the things she doesn't know how to express. She's not always the best with her words, but she makes up for it with her actions.

"I really love you, dork. You know that?" She asks as she pulls away, ruffling your hair lightly. She cracks that smile that seems to make the world stop, and you just shake your head.

"You'd better. Your flowers were the most expensive!" You tease, dodging her when she reaches out to grab you for that one.

"Get back here!" She shouts, chasing you down the hall like a 5 year old, planning to get her revenge.

---

"Jendeukie, open up!" You squeal, pounding on her door while throwing a look over your shoulder. Lisa is dangerously close, ready to tackle you as she continues charging down the hall.

"Y/N?!" She exclaims from the other side of the door, clearly not expecting you to be here.

"Hurry!" You can hear footsteps eagerly rushing towards the door, and just as she opens it, disaster strikes.

Lisa's arms wrap around your waist, pushing you forward and right into Jennie. The three of you fall into her dressing room in a messy heap, limbs splayed in various positions as you yell together on the way down. You manage to keep the flowers out of harm's way, thankfully, and your arm remains stuck out just in case Lisa tries anything else.

"Hello to you, too, Y/N." Jennie groans with a chuckle, the words coming out a little strained from all the weight on her. Lisa stands first, pulling you up right after, and you turn to help your best friend up as well.

"I sure know how to make an entrance, huh?" Your lopsided grin makes Jennie weak in the knees, much like it has ever since she met you all those years ago, and she has to fight to contain the blush that rises to her cheeks. After bantering with Lisa for a few more moments you eventually push her out of the room, shoo-ing her back to her own in order to give yourself some one-on-one time with Jennie.

You stick your tongue out at the maknae one final time before shutting the door and turning around, finding a very soft looking Jennie peering back at you. Her cheeks are pulled back in her signature gummy smile, and the fluffy sleeves of her Chanel sweater engulf her small hands as she cradles her face in them.

Perhaps, if circumstances were different, you'd be hopelessly pining for this 5'4" angel instead of Rosé. Love knows no logic, though, and you're stuck chasing after a certain Australian beauty that never seems capable of giving you the time of day.

"I missed you," she pouts, pursing her lips adorably as she steps forward to wrap her arms around your shoulders. You pull her in and pick her up with a spin, smiling into her neck when she giggles in your ear.

"Well, I'm here now. And luckily for you…." you start, allowing for some anticipation to build, "I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift. Singular." Jennie chuckles at your rambling -- it's one of the traits she finds most endearing about you, and she always hates it when people cut you down for it. It's adorable in every way.

"Oh?" She asks, intrigued as she raises an eyebrow -- she's keeping the act up for you, of course, too fond of the cute smile on your face to tell you that she already knows what it is. You hand over the flowers with a little jig, too excited by how happy she looks to contain yourself.

"They're beautiful, Y/N." She stops herself from adding a, "just like you," to the end of the phrase, wishing she was able to say things like that. You deserve to be reminded of how special you are everyday, and she knows her bandmate fails to do so.

"So, what've you been up to?" You amble over to the couch that's tucked away in the corner of her dressing room, plopping down onto the cushions with a small bounce. Rosé's flowers lay beside you, and Jennie eyes them.

"Same old, same old," she says, finally looking back at you with a tiny grin. "Practice for the comeback has kept us really busy lately, and somebody hasn't been there to tell us jokes at 3AM and keep us going." She playfully rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

"My most sincere apologies," you hold a hand over your heart in mock regret, bowing your head with closed eyes. "On the bright side, though, I'm back in town for next month or two. I finished the business deals we had to handle abroad, so now I'm all yours."

She knows you didn't mean hers, but that doesn't stop her from pretending.

A happy noise of approval slips past her lips, and she claps excitedly. The sight reminds you of some of the childhood videos she's shown you, the two looking eerily similar to one another. No matter what may happen in her life, Jennie will most certainly remain that innocent young girl at heart, getting scared by everything that moves and loving with her all. She's an amazing person to know, and part of you feels sorry for everyone who'll never get the privilege of knowing her personally -- after all, everyone deserves a Jennie Kim in their lives.

"Are you celebrating with us later?" She asks from in front of her mirror, now brushing her hair to busy herself. She runs the risk of making her feelings too obvious if she doesn't keep herself occupied.

"I was planning to, yes. But that might depend on Rosé." You inform with a nervous chuckle, an anxious smile playing on your lips. When you look up and find her brows furrowed, you elaborate.

"I'm gonna try to ask her out today when I bring her these flowers." You lightly chew your bottom lip out of habit, rubbing your hands together. The mere thought of such a task is daunting, especially with your not-so-perfect track record when it comes to her. You still try to cling to what little hope you have squirreled away in your heart, wishing with all your power that your sweet present will convince Rosé to at least give you a chance.

Distracted by your thoughts, you don't notice the way that Jennie's face falls. Her heart is breaking in silence, splintering into pieces far too small to put back together. She knew this day would come eventually, given that you're a determined person and head over heels for Rosé, but that doesn't mean she was prepared to find out like this. The lovesick glimmer in your eye hurts Jennie even more, knowing that you're probably imagining what it would be like for her to say yes to you. This whole time, Rosé has been stringing you along -- giving you just enough hope to keep coming back to her, using your devoted acts of kindness selfishly -- and Jennie would do anything to make you see that. You don't deserve what she puts you through.

"...Earth to Jennie!"

The brunette snaps back to reality and clears her throat, attempting to gather her thoughts again.

"Sorry, just got lost there for a second." She says, looking back into your eyes after a moment. A curious look plays in them, and she can practically see you debating on whether or not to question her further. She lets out a quiet sigh of relief when you accept her answer, choosing instead to smile at her.

"It's alright. But what's not alright, is that I've been sitting here for 5 minutes and you haven't come over to cuddle me. I mean seriously, a girl's gone for forever and her best friend doesn't bombard her with love?" You shake your head with an amused smile, throwing your hands in the air.

Oh, the things she would do to change that title.

Successfully suppressing the pang of longing that runs through her, Jennie quips back, "A month and a half is hardly forever, Y/N."

"It felt like it, though. I missed seeing you."

She finds you pouting, your arms folded across your chest like a toddler, and her heart melts. Any amount of time without you is too long for Jennie's liking, and she's happy to know you missed her as well.

"Fine, I guess I can spare some cuddles." She pretends to be put out as she approaches you, really playing the part by huffing and looking uninterested. Inside, though, she's celebrating. She can't wait to hold you close again, even if it may lead to her hurting herself with the what-ifs and scenarios that play in her mind.

"Yay!" You shout, pulling her into your lap before laying your head on her shoulder. Her heart beats rapidly at the proximity, and she prays to every higher power in existence that you don't notice it.

She relaxes after a moment, releasing the tension from her muscles as she sinks into your embrace. It's warm and comforting, and she never wants you to let go. Her head rests on top of yours, and she's content just running her hands through your hair, feeling your calm breaths against her skin.

She's so in love it hurts.

-----

This'll convince her, you whisper to yourself, attempting to sound confident -- key word: attempting. If there's one thing you know about Rosé, it's that she loves to be difficult with you. You caught feelings for her years ago when you were first introduced to each other at a company event, and ever since then you've done nice things for her nonstop, hoping that she'd fall for you with time. The longer you wait, though, the more discouraged you get. Regardless, those times that she appreciates your efforts make up for all the rest, and you'd gladly take 100 instances of the "bad" in order to have even just one of the "good".

After taking a deep breath, you knock on the door a couple times.

A sigh can be heard, sounding like a complete 180 from the reactions of the other girls. The subsequent footsteps are heavy -- like she's dragging her feet, not even wanting to get up in the first place -- and they work to dishearten you a bit. Nevertheless, you imagine how happy she'll be when she sees the surprise, and a small smile makes its ways onto your lips. All you want to do is brighten her day, if only for a moment.

An indifferent expression rests on her face when she first opens the door, likely expecting someone else to be standing in your place. Not much changes when she realizes it's you, though a sliver of a smile does quirk up at the corner of her lips.

"Hiya Rosie," you greet sweetly, unable to contain how wide your smile grows at seeing her again. She makes you feel like a giddy school girl, and you can't decide if you love it or hate it.

"What's up?" She asks, more out of common courtesy than anything else. Her body leans against the doorframe, her left arm resting behind the door. She didn't throw it open or invite you in like the other girls, so that tells you that she probably doesn't want visitors.

When you take too long to answer, she asks dryly, "Are you just gonna stare at me?" Her voice is laced with a slight undertone of annoyance -- one that makes you shrink down a bit. You can practically hear how exhausted she is, and part of you feels bad for disturbing her with your presence.

"N-no, sorry." You curse yourself for looking like a fool. "I got you something that I think you'll enjoy." Her eyebrows raise slightly and you can tell she's intrigued, even if she may try to deny it.

"Here." You declare, nervously fixing the plastic as you hold the bundle in front of you. You want it to look perfect for her.

"I, uh, hand picked it."

"Thank you, it's lovely." She says politely, taking them from you and bringing them up to her nose. She admires the gentle, pleasant scent of them, and smiles appreciatively at you.

You blush under her gaze, slightly tripping over your words as you respond, "Of course, I'm glad you like it."

Now, the part you dread: when the conversation dwindles down, threatening to end entirely unless you step up to keep it going.

"Well, how've you been?" You cringe at the overused question, but you're willing to employ it in order to hear her sweet voice for a little longer.

"Look, Y/N, I really appreciate the gift and all, and I'm really happy to see you again, but I don't feel like talking right now. I just want to enjoy myself for a little bit." Her denial makes you scrunch your face up, embarrassed beyond belief as her words sink in. You should've known that flowers wouldn't suffice. Perhaps that last line stung the most -- you try not to read too far into it, but the idea that she doesn't enjoy herself when talking to you nags at your heart.

"Yeah, yeah. For sure." You scratch the back of your neck, awkwardly taking a step away from her door and back into the hallway.

"I'll see you at the get together later though, right?" You ask, kicking yourself when you realize how hopeful you sounded. You have to get better at hiding it.

"Sure," she nods, sending you a smile and little wave before saying goodbye and shutting the door.

Well, that was a bust. Damn. Back to the drawing board, it is -- though your ego will need a few hours to recover.

---

"Lisa, I swear to god, if you come near me with that I'll punt you across this room."

Your very serious, totally-not-exaggerated warning evidently worked against you, because the maknae soon raises her head to look at you, grinning like a maniac. Frosting from the cake she just messily cut into covers her hands, looking threatening as she wiggles them at you.

"I mean in!" You shout as a last resort, slowly backing away. You accidently bump into Jennie in the process, but you fail to realize that it was part of the plan all along: she and Lisa are in cahoots. When the maknae lunges, swiftly striding across the room towards you, you attempt to move out of her path and get somewhere safer. Steady hands on your waist keep you anchored in place, though, and you try to fight them.

"Jennie?! Let me go, she's right there!" You squeal, trying to pry her fingers off of your hips one by one. She merely laughs, whispering a sorry into your ear right before Lisa's hands run across your cheeks and neck. You squirm, leaning further back against Jennie to evade the younger girl as she does her worst.

Now, practically having a face mask of frosting, you step away from the girls and glare at them.

"Bullies, I tell you." You say to Jisoo, groaning when she busts out laughing. It doesn't take a genius to know that you look a mess, and you'd probably laugh at yourself if the roles were reversed. The others soon join in, and a chorus of belly laughs fill the air around you.

"Go ahead, laugh it up," you tell the girls, nodding your head, "Just wait til I get my revenge. I'm coming for you, Manoban." You point a finger at her as you exit the room, grinning when you hear the oooo's that they let out at your threat, and you make your way to the bathroom at the end of the long hallway before you.

On your way back, you hear Rosé's voice filtering in from one of the lounge rooms that branch off of the main corridor. Intrigued, you stop walking and listen in.

Big mistake.

Your ears perk up when you hear your name roll off her tongue, though her subsequent sentences crush your spirits.

"...I know, right? She's honestly so annoying. Like earlier, I was finally getting cozy after our performance and then she just showed up."

Too shocked to leave now, you stay where you are and try not to let her words hurt you too much. She listens to the person on the other end of the line, laughing at something they said. That sound -- one you’ve grown to love more than anything else in the world -- is turning into something you hate. It feels like she's laughing at you; which, in hindsight, she probably is.

"Exactly! She had flowers for me, as if I don't get those almost everyday already, and I guess she really thought that that would win me over. It was sweet but, c'mon, you know?"

Every insecurity you have is nagging at you, and you can't stop the few tears that roll down your cheeks at her brutal honesty. She's really hurting your feelings, and you can't help but want to call her out for it. So, you do just that: you step into the open room, one that lacks an actual door, and say, "Next time you wanna talk shit about someone, maybe you should make sure they're not around to hear it."

Her smile falters slightly, and she spins around to face you. A hint of guilt plays on her features, but you're sure it's only because she got caught -- she definitely meant everything she said.

"Y/N--"

You don't stick around to listen to what she has to say. Her change of behavior surprised you, and you can't trust that she's even sorry for it.

Your pace quickens as you hear her voice become clearer -- she's in the doorway now, calling after you, but you don't even turn around. The salt of your tears greets your tongue, and you're once again reminded to wipe your face as you rush down the hall, rounding a couple corners and darting past countless doors on your way. You just want to get out of this place and be alone.

A new voice slows your strides as it greets your ears, feeling like a security blanket in its gentleness. It's Jennie. "Y/N? Why are you crying?" She came to look for you when you took too long to return from the bathroom.

You're far too embarrassed to look at her, so you simply sniffle and raise a hand up in her direction. "Don't worry about me, Jen. It's not important."

"Hey, yes it is. You're upset and that matters." She steps towards you, saying the words that you had no idea you needed to hear so badly. Your heart aches, still shocked by the fact that Rosé would say such things about you. You thought you were friends, if nothing else, and yet that's never felt further from the truth than it does right now.

When you don't move away, Jennie takes that as a sign to bring you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest. The kind act hurts your heart more for some reason, and you want to pull away. Jennie senses this and decides to rub soothing circles on your back, her warm embrace comforting you as she says, "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but I'm right here. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, either, but please don't leave like this. I hate to see you upset."

Something about the way she's holding you, so close and tenderly, is comforting beyond belief and you can't find the desire to leave anymore.

"Can we at least go to your dressing room? I don't want everyone to see me like this."

"Of course, sweetheart. Come on."

Sweet phrases of reassurance are whispered to you as she leads you away, keeping you safe from prying eyes the entire time. Jisoo appears in the doorway of the party room, raising a concerned brow when she sees the two of you approaching. Jennie shakes her head at the unnie before she can utter a word, giving her a silent answer as she uses her eyes to communicate what's happening. Jisoo eventually understands, and she offers a sympathetic nod when you pass by.

-------

7 Months Later

"Hey Jennie, do you think you can go answer the door? I'd do it myself, but…" Jisoo trails off, glancing down at the bowl of partially mixed dough that sits in front of her on the counter. Her hands continue to knead the mixture as she looks up at the younger girl, subtly sighing in relief when she agrees.

There's more than one reason behind having Jennie be the one to answer it.

The brunette grabs a pen as she pads her way over to the door, ready to sign for a delivery package -- that's usually the only thing they get at the dorm, considering guests are discouraged for the most part. Screw YG and their rules.

Being a bit clumsy, Jennie accidently knocks her phone out of her own hand as she opens the door, muttering out a quiet “shit” as she bends down to retrieve it. Her eyes trail over to the stylish boots that set just a few feet away, and her breath hitches.

"Hi baby." You greet with that healing smile that she's missed so much, peering down at her with a look in your eye that makes her heart trip and stumble over itself.

"Y/N!" She shrieks, jumping up from the ground and right into your arms.

"Uumph--" you let out in surprise, making sure to catch her and prevent her from falling. Ever since you two began dating a few months ago, leaving has become harder and harder. Jennie is beyond thrilled to have you back again, and she tries not to think about the next business trip you'll have to take. It's a methodical rhythm -- a month or two abroad and the same amount back home, then you're left to repeat the cycle over and over. Both of you hate it, and you'd much rather spend all your time with her instead. After all, ever since the incident with Rosé all that time ago, Jennie has steadily worked her way into your heart and become someone you can't live without. You were close before, but you've reached a new level now -- and that's about the only thing you can thank Rosé for. By hurting you and showing you how little she cared, she effectively pushed you right into Jennie's waiting arms.

"I'm so happy you're home." She says with a sigh, truly grateful to have you in her arms again. You wrap your arms tighter around her waist and sway a little bit, both of you content with just holding each other for a while longer. The weather outside is dazzlingly perfect; signs of summer apparent in everything around you. Birds chirp their looping songs as they fly through the air, feeling the sun's gentle heat on their wings all the while.

You move your head enough to be level with hers, bringing her in for a long-overdue kiss. She smiles into it, cupping your cheek with one of her hands as she languidly moves to deepen it.

Rosé should've stayed in her room. She should've ignored her stomach's incessant grumbling for a snack; but she didn't.

She gave in, and now she's stuck, rooted in place as she watches Jennie kiss you, the one that got away. It's like watching a train wreck: she can't look away, and part of her psyche knows she deserves this. The apple in her hands is the only thing working to distract her, and she grips it tightly within her clutch to comfort herself. You look good -- so good -- and Rosé doesn't know whether to be happy or not. She knows she didn't treat you right -- then or ever -- but for some selfish reason that she doesn't dare give voice to, she wants you to still be hurting. She wants you to be suffering like she is now, crying into your pillowcase at night when she crosses your mind. She wants you to miss the good times, though there may not have been enough of them, and she wants you to want her again.

You've turned the tables on her, and she doesn't know how to cope.

She realized what she had once it was gone -- once you were gone, too busy falling in love with Jennie to pay her any mind anymore. She misses how devoted you were to her and how much care you put into everything you did; she misses the consistency that you offered; she misses every sweet thing you ever did for her. Hell, she even misses hearing you ramble and seeing you blush when all she did was smile at you.

But you're gone now, destined to be with her member when all she wants is another chance. She'll never get it, certainly not after everything she's put you through, and she resents herself for treating you so badly. All you ever did was care, and she was too self-centered to give a crap.

She deserves this. She deserves to see you happy with Jennie, happy in a way she could never make you. For you, she deserves to hurt; to silently cry in her room when she hears the two of you on call, laughing about whatever new thing you experienced that day. Because it wasn't just the one instance of pain she inflicted on you; it wasn't just that one night at the performance hall -- it was a steady build up of rejection and half-assed excuses, and even she can't blame you for getting tired of it. She wishes she hadn't been so stupid to deny you.

What's worse is that she's actually fallen for you now; she imagines what could've been, what would've been, had she given you an honest chance. She's never tried to deny how gorgeous you are -- that's a given -- but now you're bruisingly beautiful, shining with the happiness that Jennie's worked hard to instill in you again. Shining with the love you hold for that 5'4" angel.

Maybe, if circumstances were different, you'd be in Rosé's arms right now. Perhaps in another life.

---

"Do you want to come in? Jisoo's working on some dessert for the lunch we just made. We can heat you up a plate in the meantime…" Jennie trails off, hoping to persuade you. She knows it's risky, considering the tension that feels almost tangible anytime the three of you are together, but she doesn't want to let you go so soon.

"I don't know…" The uncertainty in your voice is clear, and Jennie watches as a slight grimace crosses your features when you look past her and into the dorm. Luckily Rosé had already found the will power to move to the dining room, so you're spared from seeing her just yet.

"If things get weird or uncomfy we'll leave, okay? I promise." She says, knowing she's convinced you once you give her a little nod.

"Okay. But I'm only doing this because I missed Jisoo's cooking." A playful glint shimmers in your eye as you quirk your head to the side, teasing her.

"Hey!" She groans, pushing your shoulder as the two of you walk down the little concrete path that leads to the front door. "I'm kidding! I missed Lisa's jokes, too."

You laugh at the gasp she lets out, and you make sure to turn around and press a kiss to her temple to stop her from pouting.

"So, Y/N, where did you go this time?" Jisoo asks, leaning against the marble island of the kitchen as she pops a piece of tanghulu in her mouth. The crack of the sugary coating pulls your attention away from Rosé, where it had momentarily been -- she looks awful. Bags rest underneath her eyes, her normally vibrant features crestfallen now as her gaze scans across the food on her plate.

You look at Jisoo as you answer her. "The states. We worked with some local companies and small businesses to get more promotional material out in front of people. It's actually pretty amazing, guys -- you're blowing up over there. They love you." The girls smile at your words, feeling a sense of accomplishment swell within themselves. Back when they were trainees they never imagined that they'd end up this far, and yet here they are, seeing their dreams come true, day after day.

You're just happy to be along for the ride. It's not easy by any means -- people often crack under the pressure and get discouraged by the hustle and bustle of everything that such a major operation entails -- but you've never been more thankful for a position in your life.

"As they should," Lisa smirks, looking self-assured with the little cocky motion she does. You almost choke on the piece of food you just stuffed in your mouth, laughing at how ridiculous she looks.

After successfully not dying, you look at her and shake your head. "Lisa, what is wrong with you?" She puts on her infamous meme face, pretending to be shocked by your question, and you cackle again. The sound makes Rosé jealous; she wishes she were the one making you laugh like that.

Another hour or so passes with the 5 of you just relaxing and snacking together at the table, taking turns trading stories and jokes in the meantime. After finishing your dessert and complimenting the unnie's cooking skills, you make your way towards the kitchen with a groan of, "I'm so full" thrown over your shoulder.

You begin washing the dishes, finding it only fitting seeing as they spent all that time preparing such a good meal. It's the least you can do. A smile tugs at your cheeks when you hear the door open, followed by light footfalls against the hardwood. Jennie.

Warm arms snake around your waist as she hugs you from behind, resting her cheek against your back. Your brows furrow when you notice an unusual thing -- either Jennie grew a few inches in the last 5 minutes, or someone else is holding you. Their cheek reaches a place Jennie isn't tall enough to, and it all hits you.

It's Rosé.

You go to shut the water off and step away, but the sounds of her quiet sniffles give you pause. "Please don't." She whispers into your shirt, bunching the material up within her fingers against your stomach. A pang of sadness pulls against your heart strings, the long forgotten feeling reignited by the waver in her voice. "Rosé," you start with a sigh, ready to launch into the practiced speech of how happy you are with Jennie now and how you've moved on. She tugs at your shirt, slowly turning you around, and you can't find it in yourself to break her heart even further in this moment. Her eyes are filled with what tears have yet to stream down her face, brimming with the salty liquid you hate to see.

Even after everything, you can't stand to see her cry.

So, perhaps stupidly, you allow her to lean forward and rest her head against your chest; you let her fall into your arms, sinking into the embrace she never intended to miss so much.

It was innocent. Completely, utterly innocent, but Rosé couldn't stop herself -- not when you were there again, right in front of her, looking so good it hurt. She wrapped her arms around your neck, pushing her lips against yours in a kiss you weren't prepared for at all. Her mouth moved quickly against yours, knowing you'd be shoving her away at any moment. But she was okay with being selfish again -- she needed you then, and you allowed her to keep kissing you until you realized what was happening.

As you go to stumble away and put distance between the two of you, the door once again opens; only this time, it's actually Jennie. Her eyes immediately dart between the two of you as she notices how Rosie's hands are still holding you close, both of your lips swollen from the kiss. All at once you realize how the situation must look, and you begin panicking. You knew this was a bad idea from the start.

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." You shake your head, finally freeing yourself of Rosé's grip as you take a couple steps towards your girlfriend. She takes an equal amount back, scoffing lightly at the memory of the scene she just witnessed.

"Yeah, okay," she says, sounding anything but convinced as she makes her way towards the door. You go after her, but she holds a hand up -- after knowing her for so long, you've learned that that signal means to give her some time alone. Both of you know you'll go after her again later, but she needs some time right now. As she leaves the dorm, the heavy sound of the door shutting is the only noise that cuts through the palpable tension.

"How could you do that?" You ask, voice small, not even turning around to look at Rosé. You doubt that she's even sorry.

She isn't sorry. At least, not for kissing you. It felt good to have you like that, and she doesn't regret it. However, from what angle of your face your side profile offers to her, she can see how upset you are. That's what makes her feel the slightest bit guilty for her timing.

"I spent so much time trying to get you to notice me, and now you choose to do that? You're unbelievable, Roseanne-- I'm finally happy, and what, you want to ruin that?” She takes the blows as they come, staying quiet. “If you've ever cared about me at all then you'll stay away." You set your jaw, willing the tears to go away. You've wasted too many on her, and you'll be damned to look weak right now.

"Y/N, I-"

"No. Don't apologize when we both know you don't mean it. You've always been selfish, Rosé." You bite back, not caring if the words cut her down like her old ones always used to do to you. Earlier, before her little stunt, you were starting to feel sorry for her; clearly though, that was yet another mistake on your part.

You leave without another word, praying that she doesn't further complicate the situation by following after you. Jennie is the only thing on your mind as you hop in your car, having an idea of where she might be.

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think."

Your worried voice replays in her mind for the millionth time, further tormenting her. She's been cheated on before, so that phrase isn't a new thing to her.

She was always afraid this would happen. She used to lay awake at night, overthinking as usual, wondering when the beautiful thing the two of you created would ultimately come crashing down. It was too good to be true, and she curses herself for foolishly believing any different.

The better part of an hour passes by as she sits on the park bench, reminiscing on all the memories you've made here. The idea of ending things with you and starting over with someone else sinks in, and she hates the feeling. She only wants you -- she's only ever wanted you -- and the thought that things could really be over now hurts her more than she cares to admit.

Your eyes scan across the park, ghosting over the playground equipment until they zero in on her, sitting near the fountain that you shared your first kiss. Such a sap, you smile bittersweetly.

You ruffle through the plastic bag that sits in the passenger's seat, moving the receipt out of the way so that you can pick up what you're really after. Returning your hands to the steering wheel, you grip it while giving yourself a little pep talk before exiting the car. You press a kiss to the present in your hand for good luck, hoping this encounter will go well.

Water spouts from the top of the fountain, the sound growing louder the closer you get to Jennie. Her back is turned to you, and for that you're thankful -- you're not quite prepared to see how she'll be looking at you. Now just a few feet away, you say, "Marry me."

You’ll do whatever it takes to show her how crazy you are about her.

Her head whips around, completely taken aback by your proposal. She thinks that there's no way you're serious, but when she looks down to find her favorite flavor of ring pop in your hand, her eyes widen. You're sick of wasting time, and seeing that she hasn't yelled at you or turned you away yet, you take advantage of the situation.

"Marry me, Jennie," you repeat, taking small, careful steps towards her until you're right next to the bench. "She kissed me, but I tried to push her away. I told her that you're the only one for me."

She blinks, taking in your words as she notices you nervously toy with the plastic wrapper of the candy. She knows you're telling the truth; you're a terrible liar, and you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't want her back. If you wanted to choose Rosé over her, you had the perfect opportunity to do so back at the dorm.

But you don't; you want Jennie, and now you're standing in the middle of your favorite park, proposing with a piece of candy to prove that to her. The things you do for love.

"It just scared me, Y/N. Seeing her wrapped around you like that--"

"I know, baby. I know. But I promise I didn't want it, and it meant nothing to me. I'm so in love with you, Jennie Kim."

She smiles at the dopey grin on your face, seeing how smitten you are.

"Okay," she answers back, yet again looking at your hands.

"Is that a yes?" You ask, slowly beginning to tear open the wrapper.

"Yes, dummy. I'll marry you." She declares, nodding her head with a laugh at how slow you are sometimes.

"Yay!" You shout, stepping forward to pick her up in your arms. You set her back down with a smile, slipping the ring onto her finger as your heart soars.

Jennie kisses you, letting the action convey all the emotions she's been through in the past few hours. "I love you." She sighs, resting her forehead against yours.

"I'd surely hope so, jagi," you smirk against her lips, giggling at the squeal she lets out when you playfully pinch her side. Her kisses are replacing all traces of Rosé, and she's comforted by the fact that you'll so adamantly choose her, everyday.

With a smile, Jennie realizes something: never again will she be forced to dream of having you in another life -- her wishes came true, and now she'll have you in this one, always.

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princessjungeun · 4 years ago

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Hey Beautiful: Jennie x Reader

Request: Hii :) i have a request for jennie x femreader, where the reader is a famous idol and Jennie has a crush on her. They attend the same award show and at the end when they are backstage the reader asks Jennie for her number. Then they go on a date or something just cute stuff (fluff i guess😅)

A/N: I’ll write a continuation of this if you’d like for the date part :D

Awards show season was in full swing and you were to attend the MAMAs tonight. It was your first time attending without a date, usually your best friend tagged along but she was working the night shift at her job so she couldn’t make it.

You were already in your dress and your glam team was getting your hair and makeup done before you were to leave. This had been going on for hours and you were simply exhausted and hungry, the only thing keeping you going was knowing that you’d be seeing some friends of yours later in the evening.

It took two hours but eventually your hair and makeup were finished and you were cleared to leave. Your manager sat across from you in the car, a smile on his face as she teasingly asked, “so anyone you’re excited to meet in particular?”

You knew exactly what he meant, there was one person that had showed an interest in meeting you for months, Kim Jennie. To be honest when she said she was your fan in an interview, you were a little surprised. Despite being one of the most popular female soloists at the time, you were still shocked when you heard artists you looked up to liked you.

Jennie in particular had mentioned on many occasions that you were her ideal type and she’d date you if she had the chance. Blinks and your fans shipped the two of you heavily as well. Most of the time you hated when you were shipped with people you never met because it made for uncomfortable times when you actually did happen to meet them. It’d happened in the past when people shipped you with a popular member of a boy group, he was to produce a song with you. However with all of the shipping flying around, you didn’t want to risk you or him getting involved in a scandal that would just add fuel to the fire. But with Jennie you entertained it, saying you’d date her too and she was your ideal type as well. Fans had been praying for an interaction for the longest and you knew you two were probably going to cross paths tonight.

Once you’d walked the red carpet and avoided falling on your face, you were escorted inside to find your seat. The idols on the plus couch across from you were TWICE, the girls greeted you warmly, especially Nayeon who happened to be a close friend of yours.

She scooted closer to you, and started catching you up on everything that had happened in the past month because you two hadn’t talked in a bit. You were both performing tonight, she wasn’t nervous whereas you were for the first time.

Before Nayeon got up she nudged you gently, using her head to point you towards a familiar idol. You squinted, having forgotten your contacts at home, you realized it was Jennie, sitting with her members and talking to them. Nayeon stated, “I’m gonna call her over.”

You panicked, “No no, not yet. Don’t call her over- Nayeon I sweat to god-” YOur friend only laughed, waving the girl down and mouthing to her from afar. You froze, trying to look everywhere but at Jennie, this was not how you wanted to meet her for the first time. Giving up, you hid your face in Nayeon’s shoulder, your face beet red as you laughed, the rest of Twice laughing and teasing you playfully.

Nayeon patted your head, “she’s gone.”

You peeked from her shoulder to make sure she was serious and not playing a prank, and she was. Jennie was now talking to Irene, facing the other direction and not paying you any mind.

Nayeon told you, “you’re gonna need to work on that. She also said you’re cute...you missed it while you were hiding.”

You smacked her shoulder and said, “I wouldn’t have had to hide if you just left her alone in the first place Nay. That was so embarrassing please never put me through that traumatizing experience again.” She sighed and said “okay fine, but you should talk to her before the night ends. She really does like you.”

Nayeon scooted back towards her members and you focused straight ahead for the stage. As performances went on and awards were given out, you felt your heart race knowing that your big performance was coming up.

A staff came and got you from your seat to escort you backstage during a break. Your manager was already in your dressing room with your stylist, both of them getting everything you need for your performance. Your dancers were warming up as well in a corner.

You changed and start to warm up your vocals as well as your body, it was a new song and a new choreography which you’d never performed in front of such a large audience. The dance break was what you were most worried about because you hadn’t had a lot to time to practice in your shoes so you were afraid of messing up and hurting yourself.

Your manager noticed the look on your face, “Hey don’t be nervous. Everyone in that crowd is your fan. You could go out there and just breathe into the mic and everyone would still lose their shit. So go out there and do your thing, I’ll be watching from in here. You’ll do great, stop worrying babe.” He always knew the right thing to say, he was like your best friend and soulmate all at the same time.

You hugged him, “Thank you, I’ll meet you back in here when I’m done.”

The dancers pulled you into a huddle, putting your hands together you all yelled, “1-2-lets get it.” You all broke and made your way towards the stage where a staff last minute checked your IEMs and mic to make sure they were working.

You took a deep breath before making your way to the stage, the lights dimmed before the song started. Looking at your dancer they gave you a subtle nod, and smile giving you the last bit of confidence that you needed.

During your performance all of your nerves melted away. You hit every note and move perfectly, gaining a huge reaction for the audience. The deafening sound of fans and other idols cheering you on only made your confidence rise, and it showed throughout your performance. When you were done almost everyone was standing up, even the idols as they cheered for you.

After you were off of the stage you pulled your IEMs and mic pack off, handing them to your manager so you could go and change once more. Your second outfit was different, more elegant yet subtle. You changed your shoes to a pair of sneakers, relived that you could finally get out of heels.

As your stylist touched up your makeup and hair you remembered that Blackpink was preforming in a bit. You wondered if you’d see Jennie back here, Nayeon did mention that she would probably be here when you got off the stage.

Your questions were answered on the way back out to the audience because you ran into Jennie. The woman was passing you, looking down at her phone as she was walking.

She looked up from the device to bow as she walked by, “Oh! Y/N hey!” she beamed as she tucked her phone in her back pocket. Although she knew she had to be somewhere she didn’t care, she wasn’t going to miss her opportunity

You looked her over and tried to not let your eyes linger on her very toned abs for a second too long. She told you sweetly, “you did amazing earlier, you looked stunning.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks the longer she looked into your eyes, you stuttered out, “t-thanks...you’re going to kill it out there, more than me definitely.”

Just as she was about to respond Jisoo called down the hall for her, waving her over with a clearly impatient manager.

Jennie quickly turned to you and asked, “hey, I know this is the first time we met but can I have your number? Maybe we could go out sometime?” Her hand rested comfortably on your arm, a subtle touch that still made your heart burst inside.

You nodded, “yeah, sure. I’d really like that.” Quickly she whipped out her phone and you put in your number, saving your name with a red heart emoji.

Jennie smiled, “I’ll text you later.”

You told her with a shy smile, “okay, good luck out there.”

Jennie kissed your cheek, “thanks beautiful, i’ll see you out there.” She walked past you and to her members and managers who were waiting for her.

You touched your cheek and smiled before following a staff member that was to take you back to your seat. When you got back Nayeon took one look at you before bursting out laughing. You frowned, “what?”

Your friend replied, “run into Jennie did you?”

You asked, shocked at how she already knew, “wha- how did you know?”

Nayeon swiped her thumb over your cheek a few times before pulling away, showing you the faint lipstick stained on her skin, “She isn’t exactly the most subtle.”

You poked Nayeon’s neck with a smirk, “Well turns out you and Jeongyeon aren’t either, Nay.” Her face flushed red as she pulled the collar of her top up and brushed her hair around her neck, you let out a laugh earning a slap on the arm from her. The two of you went back and forth playfully until the lights dimmed indicating Blackpink coming on to perform.

You watched intently as the girls performed Lovesick Girls, Jennie staring at you as she sang that last part, winking in your direction as she made the heart gesture with her hands. You couldn’t help but smile back at her, trying to hold back how flustered the simple gesture.

At the end of the night you were finally home and able to check your phone and as promised, Jennie did reach out to you. The message read:

Unknown Number: Hey beautiful, I’m sorry I couldn’t see you more tonight. But I can make it up to you by taking you to that new art exhibition downtown. Are you free next Saturday?

You typed back quickly, not caring if it made you look desperate or like you were watching your phone: Don’t apologize, nights like these are hectic and unpredictable. I am free and I’m more than happy to go, thank you <3

You quickly updated her contact to Jennie and broke into a happy dance when she told you what time she’d come pick you up. You’d been dying to check out the art exhibition since you found out it was coming to town but tickets sold out before you could get the chance. So not only were you going on a date with your crush, but also to check out what you’d been dying to see for weeks.

You flopped onto your bed and sighed, relieved that the day was finally over and that you were able to end it on a positive note.

#kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink jennie

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sftwrmfics · 3 years ago

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get away | 1 - first day

Pairing: Juyeon x Y/n

Genres: slightest bit of fluff

Summary: Y/n is a straight-A, honors student who has no time for a relationship. So, when Juyeon, the infamous campus player, starts going after you, you decide to act interested and play along, hoping that this will be done and over with quickly. But things don’t turn out the way you hoped they would.

Word Count: 3, 753

Warnings: some swear words and that this was quickly edited, haha.

Nobody expected it at all. Not even you.

How you were currently holding hands with Juyeon during your first date with him was beyond you. But, here you were, doing just that and laughing over the joke he made about the movie that you two were about to watch.

It all started about a week ago.

You were cooped up in the library, reviewing notes from your latest lecture while munching one of your favorite candy bars. It was the afternoon, so there were more people here than usual, studying or silently chatting with their friends. However, everyone was pretty much quiet, making it easy to get focused.

Pretty engrossed in reviewing, you slightly flinched in surprise when a group of boys had entered the library with a fit of laughter. Everyone around you, including yourself, shot the group of three boys looks of annoyance and, immediately, they quieted down, still snickering between themselves as they walked past you and took a seat a few tables behind you.

Thinking that you wouldn't be able to hear them, you relaxed in your seat. But, your eyebrow twitched when you realized that you could hear what they were talking about, even though they were loudly whispering.

"Are you still with that girl..." One boy brought up as soon as they sat down. "Uhm... what's her name? Jiyeon? Jisoo?"

Frustrated, you tried turning further away from them, but, unfortunately, you could still hear them.

Another boy hummed in thought. "Are you talking about Jiwon?" It seemed like he got a response as he amusedly replied. "Pfft, no, duh. I dumped her, I think, yesterday," the boy questioned, "because she was getting boring."

You could hear some rustling, shrinking further into the chair.

"Oooooh, Juyeon, you heartbreaker." The boys joked around and laughed as quietly as they could.

You had enough as you couldn't focus on your notes. So, you rummaged through your back for headphones and slipped them on, putting the volume up to blast your favorite study playlist, and continued to review your notes.

A couple of hours went by without you noticing until you had finished reviewing and looked out at the dark window in front of you. With a groan, you dropped your pen and stretched your arms above your head, relieving the tension of your muscles. You sighed satisfied at your hard work and relaxed in the chair while stretching your legs out underneath the table.

Picking up your phone, you paused your study playlist and slid your headphones off your ears, wrapping it around your neck as you checked your phone for the first time in hours.

Initially, not expecting much, you felt a bit surprised and concerned seeing three missed calls from Younghoon from about twenty minutes ago. You were about to call him back, but remembered when he had done the exact same thing to only tell you about this new bread that he found at the convenience store.

So, you sighed at the memory and opted to check if he had texted you first, opening the messages app. There on top were texts from him.

younghoonie :P - y/n where are you

younghoonie :P - aren’t you coming to the weekly movie night ???

younghoonie :P - i haven’t seen you in foreverrrrr

You scoffed and playfully rolled your eyes. I literally had a lecture with you today.

younghoonie :P - please get here soon

younghoonie :P - i think changmin and chanhee are going to fight again

With perfect timing, your phone buzzed twice, showing Changmin’s texts at the top of the screen.

squirrel changmin - i’m going to kill choi chanhee

squirrel changmin - audio message

You immediately straightened up in the chair, swiftly putting on the headphones while lowering the volume because you knew Changmin. Carefully, you pressed play and listened, in horror, to Chanhee’s distraught screams and pleas for help. In the background, you could hear Younghoon trying to calm them down but, to no avail, the screaming continued along with some banging and hectic footsteps.

For about thirty seconds, that was all you heard, then, suddenly, it became silent. Confused, you checked to see if it was still playing but heard the slightest, familiar, evil chuckle.

You shivered out of fear.

At that, you quickly packed your stuff into your backpack and walked as fast as you could to the entrance without a sound, calling Younghoon on the way.

When he didn’t answer, you huffed in frustration and frantically texted him to try his best to separate the two until you got there. But, before you sent it to him, you ran into something hard, causing you to fall to the ground.

Wincing, you rubbed your butt, hoping the pain would ease, and peeked up at what you ran into. The individual before you caused you to stop what you were doing and gape at him with wide, shocked eyes.

You recognized him.

His light brown hair, slightly tanned skin, and loose-fitting clothes were imprinted in your mind as Changmin and Chanhee always pointed him out and gossiped about him when they spotted him anywhere on campus.

It was Juyeon, the infamous campus player.

From your two best friends you heard that he dates all types of girls and treats them like they’re special, causing them to fall in love with him in a week or less. Then, afterward, he would toss them away like a piece of trash and, the next day, he would be found talking to some other girl.

At first, you didn’t believe anything that the two had gossiped about him being a player. You scoffed in disbelief, saying that they were just being dramatic and blowing up the rumors. But, when they pointed him out in a dining hall, you saw that he was flirting with some girl, and, when they nudged you the week after to look at him, he was flirting with another girl.

Seeing your shocked expression prompted them to continue gossiping about him to you. They informed you that he always dumped them in the worst ways possible. You heard that he would cheat right in front of them, by kissing someone or announcing it while with the other person. Or, if they came to confront him after a week was over, he would act as if he didn’t know anything about them, saying that they were crazy and delusional for thinking that they were ever in a relationship.

Changmin and Chanhee warned you to not get involved with him no matter what, but you didn’t need them to tell you that. You already felt angry and disgusted at the mere thought of him.

So, when Juyeon smiled down at you and asked if you were okay with his hand extended towards you, you gave him a wry smile and pushed yourself off the ground. Standing up on your own, you completely ignored him as you dusted yourself off.

In your hand, your phone started buzzing, averting your attention to it. Upon seeing Younghoon’s name on the screen, you remembered that there was an emergency and gasped.

Just as the boy in front of you opened his mouth to say something, you cut him off by replying to his question with that wry smile still on your face. “I’m okay, but I gotta run.”

Seeing his blanked-out expression, you calmly speed-walked past him and answered Younghoon’s call, who was frantically asking you when you’re going to be here. As you replied to his questions and tried to soothe the boy, you let out a sigh of relief when Juyeon didn’t do anything else.

Honestly, after what happened in the library, you thought that would be your first and last interaction with him. Especially since you ditched him like that, there was no way that he would try talking to you again.

A few days later, during lunch, you noticed him entering the dining hall near where your lecture was held. As if he felt your stare, he locked eyes with you which startled you in your seat, but before you could look away, he did so first.

Slowly placing your hand over your mouth, you internally screamed.

You were not expecting him to react like that.

Letting out a playful smile and feeling a surge of confidence that he won’t bother you, you went back to eating while happily scrolling through your phone.

Busy stifling laughter at a random Tiktok that Changmin had sent you, you failed to notice that someone had sat in the seat in front of you until a hand reached out into your field of vision and knocked on the table. Startled, you almost dropped your phone with a yelp but caught it on time to your relief, and you glanced up. Displeased at what you saw, you almost frowned but quickly covered it up with a small, questioning smile.

Why was Juyeon sitting in front of you?

You internally sighed. You had a feeling that this wouldn’t be any good.

Juyeon was already smiling, but it got wider when you made eye contact with him.

“Hey, I’m Juyeon,” then he asked, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

You almost gave him a sassy reply, telling him to find another girl to target. But, when you briefly looked around and saw all of the tables filled, you sighed and just shrugged in response. As he calmly unpacked his lunch with a smile, you looked away as you were having an internal battle.

In your head, you were yelling at yourself for being so stupid and reprimanding yourself for being too nice. You should have just flat out said no. Yet, in your heart, the growing feeling of guilt if you said no in this packed dining hall outweighed your thoughts, leading to your actions.

Although, now, the warning bells in your head were ringing louder than ever as everything that Changmin and Chanhee informed you about him raced through your thoughts. Amidst the panic, you came up with only one solution a second later.

You had to get the fuck away from him.

Trying to not show your shaking hands, you steadily increased the pace that you were eating, trying to finish the rest of your lunch without him noticing.

But, fate was not on your side as he started talking to you.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Juyeon smiled and asked you all of the basic, getting-to-know-you questions, like your name, major, and year.

It might be nothing. You reassured yourself. Let’s just get through this civilly.

Reluctantly, you swallowed your food and answered him.

Sighing at your responses, he dejectedly told you that he was in a different major and a year above you. He slightly pouted and looked down at his food, playing around with it for a bit.

On the outside, you just shrugged nonchalantly, but, inside, you let out the biggest sigh of relief at the fact that the chances of you two having a lecture together were low.

Getting over the feeling, he continued chatting with you, asking you a few more questions. You gave him curt replies, not looking up at him and paying more attention to your phone. After a few answers, Juyeon picked up on your disinterest and became silent, returning to eat his food, while you did the same but continued scrolling through your phone.

This was the first time that you had acted so cold to a stranger and the feeling of guilt returned, making your stomach feel queasy, but, you remembered how he hurts girls for fun and that feeling went away quickly.

After a few moments of silence, he called out your name and you glanced at him to see that he was staring at you.

You don’t know why, but you couldn’t help but stare back.

His brown eyes were shining underneath the white light of the hall and you noticed how big they were. Even though you were probably about two feet away from him, you saw his pupils gradually grow bigger as each second passed.

It seemed like… he was looking at you as if he was in love with you.

Your heart skipped a beat.

When it dawned on you what just happened, you snapped it out of and shook your head, breaking eye contact and coming back to reality.

There was no way someone could possibly fall in love after meeting twice and one conversation, especially from a player. That ominous feeling you had earlier was getting stronger. The feeling that you would be his next target.

He then peered at you with hopeful eyes. “When I bumped into you at the library and stared into your eyes, it felt like destiny.” He looked away shyly. “I know this is a bit soon and shocking, but will you go out with me?”

You were surprised, which was evident on your face as your mouth dropped open.

This couldn’t actually be happening to you.

When you pinched yourself and it hurt, you knew that you were awake.

Obviously, you were going to say no. You didn’t want to get involved with anyone who held such a reputation, and you had no time to be in a relationship.

You opened your mouth but snapped it shut, thinking through your decision carefully.

This only happened in stories and fics that you read when you were younger. In those stories, players usually chased after girls who appeared to be innocent and had no experience in love. It was considered a bonus for them if the girl appeared uninterested, motivating them, even more, to win her over. Based on that knowledge, you knew that it could take weeks to months.

And you knew that you didn’t want that either.

So, you carefully thought this through.

Changmin and Chanhee’s warnings, how Juyeon hurts girls for fun, stereotypical players like innocent girls, chasing taking weeks to months, and how Juyeon usually dumps a girl in a week.

What should you do?

Suddenly, it dawned on you, which you excitedly fist-bumped the air in your mind.

You had a plan.

For the next week, you were going to act like an innocent girl who falls in love with him, but you were also going to try to get him to fall in love with you and break his heart.

If this plan works, you get the unasked revenge for all of those girls he hurt and feel the great success of taking down a player. However, if it doesn’t, he will dump you in a week and you’ll shed a few tears. After that, you’ll call it a day and move on, knowing that he won’t contact you ever again.

Inwardly, you smirked. This will be easy.

You shyly tuck a lock of hair behind your ear and tentatively meet his hopeful eyes before saying yes.

Which leads to where you are now.

At the movie theater, walking hand-in-hand with Juyeon as he carries a bucket of popcorn in the other on the way to see some movie. You had laughed at a joke that he had made.

It’s been ten minutes since the date started, and the plan seemed to be working perfectly.

Earlier, when you met up with Juyeon, you called out his name and ran to him, engulfing yourself in his arms. Peering at him, you took note of how his cheeks were dusted pink and the tips of his ears were slowly turning the same color.

It made you inwardly grin at the sight, but you immediately let go of him, apologizing since you were a bit excited about the date. Even without saying anything, you could tell that he was dejected that you left his arms, but he gave you an eye smile and reassured you that it was okay.

Ooh, he’s pretty good at acting too. You thought. Look at him acting all sad.

Noticing your outfit, which consisted of innocent clothes that you could find in your closet, Juyeon complimented you and you pretended to like it by smiling at him then shyly looking away. You faced him to return the compliment and purposefully messed up by repeating what he had said to you. Acting like you were embarrassed, you profusely apologized to him, muttering what you were actually going to say. With a wider smile on his face, he giggled and once again reassured you that he was fine, although you could see his cheeks turning redder.

At the sight, you slightly raised your eyebrow, not even for him to notice.

He then asked to take your hand, which you gingerly took while shyly turning away. The moment that he intertwined your hand with his, you had to mentally and physically hold yourself back from yanking it out of his grip.

As you got your tickets and food, you held his hand the entire time and threw him a soft smile every so often when you caught him looking at you. And, each time, he would either smile back and you could see his cheeks turning red, or he would look away and cover his mouth with his hand. Seeing him like that, you couldn’t help but grow in confidence that your plan was actually working.

So, now, as you two were walking around just talking a bit on the way to the theater, you did bolder things. Well, bolder for you. Like, squeeze his hand or lean against his arm when someone was walking too close to you.

You could tell that he was getting flustered by your actions as now he looked red and kept looking away when you tried to make eye contact with you. Plus, when you leaned against his arm, you felt his body tense up and go rigid, then he would visibly relax when you stepped away from him.

It made you feel more confident that you could get this guy to fall in love with you.

This was going to be easy.

On the drive back to your apartment, you and Juyeon were discussing the movie that you had watched. But, right now, you were laughing at him while he pouted at you from the wheel.

“I can’t believe you cried,” you said after laughing, hugging yourself, and wiped away a few tears.

“It was sad,” he argued. “It was really sad.”

“I mean it was pretty sad,” you paused, “I was crying a bit, but then I heard you sob and, when I looked over, I saw tears were streaming down your face.” You mentioned while stifling your laughter.

“That was the saddest part!” He pointed out. “They couldn’t make their last promise of seeing each other once again come true, and you thought that would be it. But then it cuts to their gravestones being next to each other.” Pausing, he sniffled a bit. “Seeing their names carved on them got to me.” He quietly admitted, which you heard.

You wouldn’t admit it to him, but you would have sobbed too if you didn’t notice Juyeon’s tears first. Upon seeing them, you made sure to imprint his crying face into your mind because you wanted to remember it. It was the face that you will be seeing when your plan worked.

After a few more minutes of messing around with Juyeon, you arrived at your apartment complex. Pulling into a parking spot in front of your building, he parked the car. You almost let out a sigh of relief at this night being done with, although you had to admit it was a bit fun teasing him. But, just as you were going to open the door, Juyeon held his hand in front of you.

“Wait for a moment,” he asked while he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt, “stay put.”

Confused, you reluctantly did as was told, and he got out and ran to your side opening the car for you.

Actually a bit surprised, you laughed at his actions, deciding to play along once more, and curtsied, “Thank you very much, fine gentleman.”

Juyeon chuckled at that and walked you to the front of your complex with a shy smile on his face, continuing to talk with you more about the movie. You were using up a lot of your small amount of energy to laugh and talk with him. And, as you got closer to the door, you got more excited to finally get away from him.

So, when you got to the front, you turned around and stared at him with a soft smile, using the last bit of your energy.

“Goodnight Juyeon,” you tiredly said and turned around to leave, but, as you were about to bolt to the door, he stopped you by holding your arm.

What does he want?

Immediately hiding your annoyance, you innocently turned around and faced him, looking confused.

He was staring down at the ground for a few before clearing his throat and gazing into your eyes, he asked, “Is it okay if I give you a hug and a kiss on the forehead?”

Ugh. You thought. I really don’t want to.

But, you shyly nodded anyway, looking away.

He took a step closer to you and delicately wrapped you in his arms into a hug, which you timidly returned.

You two stayed in each other’s embrace for a few seconds, which felt like a lifetime to you before he pulled away and lightly brushed his lips against your forehead. That drained you of your energy.

He then smiled and pulled away, saying, "I'll text you later." Then, he turned around and was about to head over to his car.

However, your pride told you to not let him have the satisfying feeling of having the last move. So, you grabbed his arm, pulled him back, and turned him to his side, kissing him on the cheek.

Just as quickly, you released him and ran towards the door, punching in the code before running inside and around the corner of the wall. Hiding behind it, you peered out, checking to see if he was still there.

And he was. Juyeon stood there for a bit, looking dazed. His ears and cheeks tinted red, and you saw him slightly cheer by punching the air once before walking back to his car.

Once you saw him drive away, you turned around and started heading to your apartment.

This time, you didn't stop the small, confident smile growing on your face.

#the boyz #juyeon #the boyz juyeon #juyeon x reader #the boyz fanfic #tbz fanfic #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbz imagines #the boyz angst #tbz angst #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #i'm sorry for getting this out 20 minutes late :(((#but i thought it would be better to edit before actually posting it on time #anyways i hope you enjoy it!!!#please tell me what you think :)

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