#kinda mentioned this before but i like robin learning one of her languages from her family.

[infiniteentertainment]

actually going with the headcanon that robin’s family is italian. she grew up speaking english but she started learning italian from her grandma one summer, and after her grandma died she was determined to keep learning so she kept up with it and became fluent. afterwards she started learning spanish for fun and found it helpful that she knew italian because some words are similar. then robin took french at school where she shared a class/club with nancy (and they worked on their pronunciation together)

[ash5monster01]

Perfect To Love Part 16

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues, language.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 2.1K

Part 15 ←→ Part 17

Masterlist

Beth felt at ease making things right between her and Robin. Like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She was even interacting with the kids. The only person she had yet to smooth things over with was Steve. Robin had hinted to her that it was absolutely killing him but she still couldn’t comprehend he felt that way for her at all. That wasn’t something she could just get over in one night. That was years worth of abuse and trauma she couldn’t just erase. Fact was Steve had still hurt her, whether it was intentional or not and how can she truly believe he was attracted to her when he was asked to give her a shot in the first place? If Steve couldn’t come to love her on his own was it really love at all?

So because of that Beth had spent the better part of two weeks avoiding him. She was doing a good job to and Steve was keeping his distance. He didn’t want to force her into proximity if she wasn’t ready. He was going to do everything right this time, he just hoped she would want to actually talk to him. Christmas was coming fast, and even faster her birthday, and he was running out of time to make up with her before then. So against his better judgment he came up with a plan, a plan pre-approved by Robin and Nancy which he had both made sure to ask before he ruined things further.

“I have to stop in Mrs. Addams class before I leave, I’ll see you later” Robin suddenly said as her and Beth walked towards the school doors. The final bell before Christmas break had rung and they were on their fast way of escape.

“Oh, okay. I’ll call you tomorrow” Beth said, a bit confused by her friends sudden departure but she pulled her coat close to her and started for the doors. She only realized why Robin had parted so soon when she rounded the corner.

There Steve Harrington stood, back leaned against the wall, his white Nikes scuffed and worn. He wore a heavy red sweater and a black coat draped over his shoulders. Wet snowflakes littered through his fluffy hair, cheeks pink from the cold, and Beth only vaguely wondered what it would be like to kiss him right now.

“Hi” he jumped up, standing at attention now that Beth had appeared. She realized it didn’t really hurt all that much seeing him, in fact it was kinda nice.

“Hi” she offered a smile back and he went to wipe his palms on his jeans, this was the most nervous he had ever been.

“Look, I didn’t mean to corner you. I’m going to leave I just wanted to give you this” and Beth watched as he fumbled with his jacket pocket, pulling a white envelope free from its confinement and holding it over. Beth reached for it, begging her hand not to shake.

“Thanks” she muttered once she had it pulled to her chest and the hand that used to have the envelope ran nervously through his hair, snowflakes now melted away.

“Merry Christmas, and Happy Birthday” he offered and Beth gave him a smile. Steve took this as his cue to leave so he shoved his hands deep in his pockets and headed for the door.

“Merry Christmas to you too Steve” Beth called out and Steve froze before turning back and looking at her. Maybe it was a peace offering, a notion to be civil, but after getting to know her that would never be enough. Only knowing Beth Walker in passing was the worst way to know her, because you would forever have to live with the fact that you missed out.

Beth made her way home, the old escort stuttering to life and working overtime to pump some heat into the vehicle. Beth could feel the envelope burning a hole through her pocket but she kept herself from looking at it the whole way home, even through her house as she removed the scarf from her neck and greeted her mother with a kiss. It wasn’t until she was sat up at the desk in her bedroom, the lamp offering a warm glow, did she looked at the scratched writing on the front. It was Steves, loopy and sharp all at the same time, and her heart fluttered over the fact that he had written her name. He had written this just for her.

Dear Beth,

Absolutely nothing will change the fact that I hurt you. I know that, I accept that. Thing is I can’t accept that you think it was all fake. I’m a good friend, a loyal friend, but a shit actor. So if you think every moment between us was me pretending for the sake of Robin you are mistaken. In high school I got shit grades because I could never keep track of what I was writing in an essay but as I write this I don’t find myself getting off track because you need to know this. That guy in high school that hurt you, he forgot you because he hated himself for how he treated you. What you don’t know is that moments before he had tried to stop his friends, maybe he should have tried harder, but at least it was something. The guy I am now, he’s still new, he’s still getting the hang of things, and that guy wasn’t in high school long enough to meet you.

Yet when you showed up on my doorstep that first night he noticed you immediately. He noticed how big and bright your eyes were, how short you were, how long your curly brown hair swung around your back, and he took all of these things and noticed how beautiful you were. I asked you to that party, I asked you on that date, that was all me. I wanted to do those things with you because damnit Beth, anyone who is around you long enough knows you can’t help but fall in love with you. So Robin may have brought you to my house, asked me to get to know you, but everything else was all me, because falling in love with you has been the easiest thing I’ve done in the last two years. I’d like the opportunity to love you again, so when you’re ready let me know because there is absolutely no way I’m going to be getting over you anytime soon.

Happy Birthday!

Love, Steve

Beth had always wanted a love letter. The idea of it always pulled at her heart strings. It was such a romantic gesture, one she enjoyed in many books and many movies. Thing was she never thought she could ever receive one. Never figured someone would write the fat girl a love letter. Yet here in her hands, in the simplest terms, was a love letter from Steve Harrington. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to say all those things out loud. He still made sure to write them down and hand deliver it to her. That had to account for something right?

Scrambling for the phone on the corner of her desk she pulled it close, fingers fumbling with the numbers as she hastily typed in Robins house number, and prayed she’d be there to pick up. “Hello”

“Robin, hey!” Beth anxiously spluttered out, dropping the letter on the desk in hopes not to crumple it too much.

“I assume you read the letter” Robin said and Beth anxiously giggled, unsure of what to do.

“I, yeah. I read it” Beth said, her foot tapping nervously unsure really why she called.

“Look Beth he’s not expecting you to chase after him. He just wanted you to know the truth. So don’t get all worked up and freaked out. Take some time to mull it over, read it a few times, bask in the feeling of being desired” Robin told her and Beth instantly remembered this was why she called. Robin knew what she was thinking and calmed her down. She didn’t need much else.

“Do you think he really loves me?” Beth asked, the phone chord coiling around her finger as she played with it. Her eyes glanced over at the letter, the word love written hastily in Steve’s rush to get all his thoughts on paper.

“I do, because you can’t put a timer on love. You’ve known him for three months, spent time with him, got to know him. Sometimes when it’s right, it’s right. Three months is just enough time if not more, to fall in love” Robin told Beth and Beth broke out in a grin, thinking of all those moments with Steve. How for a while there they didn’t go more than a day without seeing each other. They weren’t just dating they were friends and in that time she had become friends with all of his friends too. During that she learned to love all those friends, so it was no wonder she fell in love with Steve too. It made sense especially since it hurt so much when she left him.

“I think I love him too Robin” she whispered into the phone, almost embarrassed to say it out loud because when she first met Steve she promised herself she wasn’t going too.

“I know you do Beth, so enjoy it. I’ll see you Sunday” Robin told her, smiling widely even though the girl couldn’t see it. It was almost Beth’s 18th birthday and she was happy and in love. It was all she ever wanted for Beth.

“See you Sunday” Beth muttered back and Robin hung up the phone with a click. Beth took a moment before dropping the phone and jumping up in celebration. She cheered, she squealed, and then spun around until she had fallen in a heap on her bed.

“What is going on up here?” her mother burst through the door and through excited giggles Beth could only smile at her Mom as she stood to hand her the letter. Anxiously she watched as she read and when she was done she looked up to her daughter with a smile.

“Oh Beth” and then they were hugging and jumping around together. “Are you gonna go see him?”

“I don’t know yet” Beth told her as she stepped away, retrieving the letter from her mothers grasp.

“Why not?!” she asked her and Beth shrugged as she set it back down on her desk.

“I don’t know, I think I just want some time to really let it sink in. Get my thoughts in order” she told her and Allie smiled, walking over to press a kiss to her hair.

“Do I want to ask what he meant by hurting you in high school?” she asked instead and Beth just chuckled as she shook her head.

“No, because I’m over it. Turns out I have been for a while” and Allie could only smile as she hugged her daughter again. All she ever wanted for her was to know she could be loved if she had let people in. Now it was true and a boy loved her daughter the way a boy should. Irrevocably and unapologetically.

“Dinner will be ready in an hour” Allie told her once she let her go and Beth nodded with a smile that just wouldn’t go away. Allie left the room and Beth grabbed the letter again as she laid on her bed, eyes traveling across the words that she was sure to never get sick of.

She spent the better part of the next hour trying to picture Steve writing it. Probably sat at his desk, under that red corvette picture, in his eerily empty house, as he tried to collect his thoughts. Each of those thoughts about her and that image alone warmed her heart over. The image made her long for the boy, wishing she was in that big empty house with him, comforting him, loving him. Everything was a thing of the past now, but if now, after almost three weeks of giving him the cold shoulder, and he still wanted to love her, she would just have to give him a chance. If she didn’t she’d miss out on the chance of being loved and you’d have to be stupid to miss out on that.

Taglist: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @dilflover-3 @bethanysnow @middle-of-the-earth @princessadriana4-blog @mochminnie @legendaryhumandiplomatgoop @a-lil-bit-nuts @i-came-as-bostonian @krazyk99 @thunderstomp-and-tequila @cumslutforaemond @futuristicbirdtraveler @unholyhuntress @crushculture03 @jenniferpendragon

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

a/n: the last two chapters have been written my friends, this journey we have taken with Beth and Steve has been so wonderful, and for the first time in three months I no longer have to write a new chapter for this series and in a way I feel empty. Beth was a character created to remind you all you are beautiful the way you are and can be loved by anyone if you put yourself out there and are confident in your being. I’ll get more sappy during the last chapter but thank you all so far for enjoying.

[trust-and-jump]

FANON batfam things to (dis)like

To like:

Tim Drake taking photos at night - you know what I'm talking about.

Lazarus Pit's influence as some intrusive thoughts.

Jason Todd being literature nerd.

Not mentioning Cassandra Cain's second "adventure" with Lady Shiva, because I love Cass and I'm happy for all the stories it didn't happen.

Not destroying Clocktower.

White streak in Jason Todd's hair (I know, I know, it was in some comics too, but I consider it as fanon thing because— the ones who read comics would probably understand (I hope) what I mean).

Cassandra getting her name even without Barbara Gordon naming her.

Bruce accepting Tim Drake as a son almost immediately.

To dislike:

Bruce accepting Tim Drake as a son almost immediately.

Cassandra Cain having no personality outside of her weird body-reading thing/outside of her being Batfam therapist (which is— just WHY???? She's the worst option for this! I love her but she can't be perfect and she has SO. MANY. PROBLEMS. She deserves better than being that!) Guys she will beat all the criminals up if it means she doesn't have to talk about feelings and all that. Besides, knowing the person's intentions or guessing emotions doesn't mean knowing how to talk through it or how to handle these emotions or how relationships between people 'should' or 'should not' work.

Assuming that she understands everything people say before she learns how to speak.

Not mentioning her problems with reading&writing and thinking she would learn ASL immediately (and MAYBE she would, in some stories, IDK, but I saw only one fic that actually discussed why ASL would be as difficult for her as other languages)

Fucking... autopsy scar. it should not exist.

"Replacement". It's a good thing, actually, I just don't like it.

Shiny Dick. (KDJDISKSOXBXJSKOSSLSS I LAUGHED AFTER I WROTE IT I WON'T CHANGE IT)

Jason slitting Tim's throat at the Titans Tower. I know it would be kinda poetic after THE BATARANG ™ but - no. I remember Jason/Clayface thing with Hush and I accept this canon but all I see at the Titans Tower fight is beating. I'm not even sure Jason wrote the note in blood, because guys, have you ever tried to write big letters with BLOOD? I DID. It's so fcking inconvenient. and takes too much time! and oh my god, even if Jason DID write it in Tim's blood, why slitting his throat? do you have any idea how ridiculously difficult the whole thing is? I think people just kinda confuse Tim-Jason situation at the Titans Tower and Tim-Jason situation with Hush. Because. Slitting throat thing. And they often forget about that Jason/Clayface thing with Hush. I forget it too, sometimes.

Lazarus Pit Madness as a form of mind control or something that excuses everything Jason did. And turning him to a different character.

Impulsive Jason Todd who has no control at all. like with the white streak - I mark it as a Fanon thing despite it being in comics. not because previous reasons but because. because retcon. fuck off. I mean, as Robin he could be, sometimes. But all Robins were like that sometimes. And they all still were professionals. Well. Can vigilantes be professional????? I don't think so but who knows.

Shiny Dick [2]. I won't apologise. (wow I just found out that apologise and apologize are both correct, just British and American variants. Cool!!)

Duke Thomas having half-existence. - would it hurt to actually choose if Duke exists in your story or not? he's an amazing character and it's better not to write him at all if he's a ghost here, my guy.

Weird Tim who worships Jason while getting beat up by him. Did you see how Tim's all sassy while fighting? NOT a deer with big eyes at all. ROBIN. He's Robin!

Not acknowledging what Damian al Ghul or Damian Wayne has been through. I get it, you like Tim and Damian's acting hostile makes you hostile towards him but— seriously?

Woobifying any character while completely changing personality. Dick, Tim and Jason are suffering the most from it. Damian is there sometimes too.

"Jason doesn't try to kill Bruce anymore". He never tried to kill Bruce except this one time in Lost Days where he decided not to do it after all.

Not acknowledging Jason Todd being a hypocrite.

guys do you remember Jason's dead eyes in Lost Days. literally the last glimpse of life in him was when he found out that Joker was alive. It's sad.

___

okay there's a lot more than that but I just can't remember anything else right now. And I'm not going to touch all the fandom's opinions on Bruce Wayne as a parent because it's even more meaningless.

___

sorry for bad English.

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

ok very quickly

in the main continuity as of the current timeline (just roll with it) there have been 5 or 6 robins depending on who you count plus other bats, currently there are 2 using the robin name

1. dick grayson, the first robin and gave the role the name, parents murdered at the circus and became bruce waynes ward, was robin for about a decade before getting fired by batman and is now nightwing, an incredibly important character for dc as a whole. in fanon he's the flippy bimbo one (*cries at the mischaracterisation*)

2. jason todd, was taken in by bruce after stealing the wheels off the batmobile (like straight after he fired dick) and was robin for around 3 years before he was lured into a warehouse, beaten to almost death by a crowbar, and then blown up, all by the joker. he came back as the red hood years later after some timeline and reality shit caused him to come back to life and he’s sort of a part time vigilante and part time crime lord, more towards vigilante these days. in fanon he's the angry *tries to murder tim* one (also just no)

note under jason, the lazarus pit did not bring him back to life, he came back bc of the reality shit with superboy and was put in the pit by talia al ghul a good bit after he came back. he also doesn’t really get the green over his eyes and the whole pit controlling him thing.

3. tim drake, was robin then not robin then robin again then red robin currently robin again. i know, nice and confusing, i will explain more in the next 2. he convinced batman to take him on as robin after jason’s death, he also figured out bruce wayne was batman, dick grayson was robin 1 and jason todd was robin 2. in fanon he's the sleep-deprived coffee addict one (still a big nope)

tim often goes by red robin in fanfics bc a) it's easier for hi to have a different name to the other robin and he has been red robin before, and b) wayne family adventures

4. stephanie brown, the forgotten robin. she is the daughter of clue master and the first robin to be her own vigilante before taking up the role, spoiler, when tim drake’s father made him quit and some things happened and she didn’t it to prove to herself and tim that she could. she got fired pretty quick and has been spoiler and a batgirl. in fanon she's the bimbo *not surprised is she isn't mentioned* one (also the girl one)

she is sometimes portrayed as a bimbo which is kinda rude to her as a blonde woman bc she is also super smart but because she is more comedic and quippy, she gets belittled to being a dumb blonde (similar to dick tbh)

5. damian wayne, tHe BlOoD sOn, long story but he’s real and bruce’s biological kid. raised in the league of assassins and had to learn to be less violent and also not kill anyone when he moved, he’s doing better now, also currently robin. in fanon he's the stabby *loves animals more than people* one (ok yeah that's pretty similar to canon, he is still mischaracterised but *shrugs*) EDIT: damian took over from tim forcing him to be red robin until recently when he went off to be with the teen titans and tim took over being robin for batman

6. duke thomas, not a robin under batman but was a robin during the we are robin movement and so some people do include him in the list. metahuman with light-based shit that i am not qualified to talk about as i’m only just starting to read his character but he is awesome and also just as batshit mental as the rest of them and is signal. he is the also forgotten *not as crazy as the others* one (just nope this dude risked his life and saved loads of people specifically during the robin war event with no powers and no suit and is wild he's great)

also need mentioning is cassandra cain aka either orphan, black bat, or batgirl depending on the writer, has her disability constantly mischaracterised but is a badass and is just so cool and i’m also starting to read more of her. in fanon she's the mute and uses sign language one (not how her disability works tho, it's a developmental disability as she never learned who to read or write or talk so she struggled to actually find the words which is something that sign language doesn't help with. she is not mute in the comics and has been learning how to read and talk and is almost at the same level as everyone else now)

and barbara gordon aka the original batgirl and now oracle or sometimes batgirl she is amazing, she got shot and more by the joker which paralysed her and she became the eyes and ears of the bats and then most of the hero world, has had experimental surgery and braces so she can walk again and currently in the comics acts as both batgirl and oracle. she is actually not done too badly in fanon bc she's just that awesome, she is often still wheelchair bound bc fanon isn't scared to show that physically disabled people are also badass

other potential figures that are less part of the family but still feature sometimes that i don’t know a lot about (i am reading up on them more)

- kate kane aka batwoman

- harper row aka bluebird

- luke fox aka batwing

and theres still more than hopefully other people elaborate on but there’s a super quick overview :)

oh and on the dying note, they have all died and come back, have fun with that

i want so badly to understand the batman lore because i want to read the fan fiction and actually know who’s talking but there’s just.

so.

many.

people.

why are there so many robins? from what i’ve gathered i think one of them died, came back to life, and isn’t TECHNICALLY a robin anymore but kind of sort of still is? i have that one narrowed down to being either nightwing or red hood, but i DONT KNOW because i’m trying to keep track of another two dozen children whose hero names are just variations of Robin.

there’s also someone named Signal who can maybe i think see ghosts or something? who is he? where did he come from? was he also a robin?

i just need like a google doc or something with summaries of who everybody is, with personalities and generally agreed upon fanon descriptions, along with WHO IS CURRENTLY OR USED TO BE A ROBIN. (WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM)

[ronance4everbrainrot]

The lovely person that is @corgiplays has commented this on my last

Murray adopting Robin AU post

"post season 3 Murray would adopt Robin, Murray would probably be around a lot leading up to the Byers move and since Robin is now a part of the party Murray sees her a lot, the two would bond a little because of Robin's conspiracy theories and that she knows multiple languages (Murray would teach her Russian), Robin would show up one night at Murray's place by taking a bus because her mother kicked her out or something along those lines, from there Murray would of taken Robin in and moved to Hawkins"

I absolutely agree with it being after S3.

So, as Corgi said, Murray being around because of the Byers moving (genius idea) and Robin hanging around the party more (we can maybe add her and Will bonding too).

So the party want to hang out with Will while they still can and Dustin would bring Steve, who would bring Robin (who i think didn't want to come at first) and they watch Movies together and maybe the go to the Wheelers and Joyce goes with them and chats with Karen.

Murray probably didn't come the first times but Joyce invited him to join them so that's why he was their at the Wheelers and that's also when Robin and Murray meet (well really meet).

(I'm gonna make this a bit like a story)

✨✨✨

Someone, probably Dustin or Mike, complained about Snacks and since Robin didn't really like the movie and was also the nearest to the door (idk), went upstairs to get some more snacks. The adults were in the kitchen, so when she came in Karen greeted her "Hello Robin, is something wrong? Do you need something?". Robin shook her head and answered "no no, nothing wrong, Mrs. Wheeler. The kids just wanted more snacks, since I was the nearest to the door and also didn't really pay attention to the movie because it doesn't make sense-" she rambles on about the movie (something about aliens maybe or other stuff which have conspiracy theories) and then Murray chimes in with his own theories (at first bothered by the rambling but then intrigued by her statements) and they bond over it.

The next time they have a movie night, Robin went upstairs again to get snacks, because the way the characters spoke the accents were inaccurate, which bothers her genius ears, so was kinda frustrated when she went into the kitchen. Karen sees that somethings is wrong and ask "Everything ok, Robin?" Robin froze for a second and blushes in embarrassed "Sorry Mrs. Wheeler" she chuckles nervously "it's just the movie again" Joyce smiles at her and ask "what is it about this time?" Robin, dispite being surprised she asked, answers "honestly, I don't know, I was to focused on the way the accents were horrible. There was this French Person and the actors pronounciation was just THE worst. the others probably didn't notice or didn't care, but I couldn't ignore it." she goes on and it somehow turned into her talking about learning Russian and cracking the code but she cuts herself off, before mentioning anything about the Russians, remembering that Karen is in the room but plays it off "I mean Uh- Book! Yeah! Um- there was this Russian book I found int the library and since I am already fluent in four languages I thought 'why not learn another?'" she laughs nervously and looks at her hands, playing with the ring on her middle finger. Karen blinks in surprise and smiles at her "Wow, you're fluent in four languages? That's impressive! " Robin flushes at the complement and thanks her quietly "So you want to learn Russian?" Murray asks. Robin's eyes snap up and she looks at him unsure. "Uh.. Yeah?".

✨✨✨

And that's when they bonded over languages (I couldn't come up with something after that lol)

Murray and Robin would definitely bond over languages and conspiracy theories. Check ✅

Now to the going to Murray's house.

This is probably after the Byers moved, because he went back, but he gave Robin his address and phone number so they can stay in contact. (idk)

so before Robin's mother kicked her out (because of something) she and Steve had some kind of fight (because I can find no logical reason as to why she wouldn't go to Steve after being kicked out and this gives it more angst)

So after she packed all the stuff she could, she got her secret cash stash and went to the bus station to get to Murray's house.

So here are some of my ideas of how it played out..well mostly the meeting/bonding part. So thanks again to Corgi for the amazing idea, I hope you liked the was I played out your idea and you can gladly comment again or make an ask if you have more ideas or other stuff. Or if anyone has some ideas you can do the same, comment or ask.

Imma add some Ronance so it's justified that I tagged them.

Consider they hang out at the Wheelers, Nancy is also gonna be there, she's still dating Jonathan at the moment (they will break up later tho) and ever since Robin saw her with that gun shooting at a moving car, she found it kinda hard not to think about her. But she pushed it down. First, she has a boyfriend and second, she is straight. (or is she 🧐)

Well anyway, idk yet when they would date but Murray will definitely help Nancy figure out her feelings and Robin already knows about her feelings but Murray helps her with her confidence.

Also know I want to know how Robin coming out to Murray would go 🥺

So ye, they get Murray'd

[maxwell-grant]

Red of Overly Sarcastic Productions once said :"If you can imagine your Batman comforting a shared child, then congratulations, you're righting Batman. If not, you're just writing the Punisher in a funny hat". This got me wondering: could the Shadow comfort a scared child?

Could he? You forget who was there to lift young Bruce to his feet at his first brush with death (sadly far from his last).

But it's an interesting question to pose still, because children were straight up not in the pulps, not in any I've read, and I can't recall any episodes of the radio show that feature them much (there's gotta be at least a few, because they had everything in that show). The most interaction I think The Shadow's ever had with children (from comics that I can discuss here, because Marshall Rogers' "Harold Goes to Washington" is way, way too much for me to go into right now, and the less I talk about some other DC comics, the better) is in the Street & Smith comics.

There's Jerry from the Devil Kyoti arc, a kid who was traumatized by an encounter with the villain who Sayre's looking after and who ends up having some kind of hidden power that allows him to see The Shadow and defeat the villain. There was a blonde Jerry who showed up later in the Monstradamus arc, but he isn't a kid so much as he's diet Jimmy Olsen or a replacement for Harry, but he had weird eyesight-based powers and a familiarity with The Shadow, so I assume it's the same character.

There was also Donald Jordan - Shadow Jr, and okay, I may have to talk more about this weird little failed experiment some other time, but the basic gist of it is that The Shadow had a friend in Tibet named Harry Jordan (and someday I'm also gonna write about the weird prevalence and significance of the name "Harry" in The Shadow's mythos in and out of universe) who was murdered, leaving his son orphaned and with nowhere to go. And, I'll admit that I have a real weakness for The Shadow calling people "son", which he does a lot in this story.

And as you can expect, it then turns out that the kid's also learned how to cloud minds and has basically the same powers The Shadow has in these comics, and they solve the mystery of his dad's murder together, and yeah, you can absolutely tell that they are setting up this kid to be The Shadow's Robin. Although, interestingly, they don't have The Shadow actually recruit the kid, instead it's Jordan who asks The Shadow if he can go with him and join his mission, and Cranston even states he's going to have to "earn" his way

"Must I stay here, sir? It will always remind me of dad - I'd like to devote my life to your fight against evil and evil doers!

Now, "Shadow Jr's" career was incredibly short-lived, it only lasted for about two other issues, and I have no idea what happened in his final appearence called "Snake Eyes" in Shadow Comics #77, I cannot find that issue anywhere and I really want to. But the one other solo story of his I've read was...well, I think it kinda illustrates why the idea of The Shadow having a Robin was doomed from the start.

...Yeah. Even The Shadow at his most sanitized and family friendly is still The Shadow, and there's no room for children in his network, obviously he shouldn't and wouldn't have children be in those positions or make decisions expected from grown-ups who have already had encounters with death and danger, why would anyone do that-

The only instance I can think of The Shadow interacting with a child in the pulps was during The Prince of Evil, when he has to rescue a young boy from Stark's thugs.

Cranston, dazed, tried to stagger to his feet. Before he could do so, the thug had picked up the limp figure of the boy and was darting out into the street. There was a scream of horror from pedestrians.

A heavy truck was racing at top speed along the avenue. Straight into the path of the truck, the thug threw the senseless boy!

The driver of the truck jammed on the brakes. But it was too late to halt the heavy vehicle. The broad-tired wheels rolled toward the limp head of the lad on the pavement.

An instant before it could crush out his life, Lamont Cranston dived headlong into the path of destruction. His shoulder struck the boy, rolling him toward the curb. A quick wriggle, and Cranston swerved aside from the grinding death that loomed over him.

He picked up the boy. One glance and he knew there was no time to lose. The attempted killer had leaped into a waiting sedan and had already made his escape.

The boy was all Cranston could see or think about. Brass knuckles had fractured his skull. He had suffered a concussion of the brain. A glance at his bluish lips and the fixed glaze of his staring eyes told Cranston that unless the boy was operated on immediately, he would die.

A leap, Cranston was in his car. He laid the boy gently on the seat beside him, then headed the car toward the nearest hospital. Traffic lights were ignored.

The boy was taken to an emergency operating room and a skilled surgeon went to work. When it was over, Cranston asked only one question: "Will the child live?"

"Hard to say. We'll do our best."

"Spare no expense. Put him in a private room. Engage day and night nurses."

Cranston's face was pale. He knew that he himself was indirectly responsible for the boy's attack. A supercriminal had made a prompt answer to Cranston's message over Jackson's telephone. That telephone must have been tapped. The attempt to kill the boy was a vicious warning for Lamont Cranston to mind his own business about the Harmon family. It was a follow-up of the attack on Jackson's dog.

Cranston felt a surge of hot anger. He kept it under control while he answered routine police questions. He told all he knew - which was nothing.

He had only one angry thought. He intended to drive straight to the office of David Chester. He'd get the truth out of the sleek Chester, if he had to batter him with vengeful fists!

Cranston was actually halfway to Chester's office before common sense returned to him. He realized he had lost his sense of balance. He was behaving exactly as the crooks wanted. He was playing their game, not his!

He parked, and the hot rage drained slowly from him. He stopped thinking about the limp figure of a young lad on a white operating table.

This is definitely because Tinsley writes the character differently than Gibson, but I actually cannot think of another occasion where we got to read about The Shadow actively wanting to hit someone with his fists. It's very, very rare to read about The Shadow actually getting mad in the first place in such an undignified way. And I think with this passage, you'll start to notice a pattern.

The problem isn't that The Shadow cannot interact with kids or that he can't comfort them, he does it to his agents and adults he wants to help just fine, he knows how to address people in their language, or any language. The problem is, The Shadow is constantly surrounded by danger everywhere he goes, because he is The Shadow. He can be any number of things at any number of occasions, but usually, when The Shadow shows up, it's usually because people are going to die, and people are going to kill, and it's his job to address that and work the scales.

Children should not be anywhere near this, and if The Shadow's interacting with a child, it usually means that some grave danger or tragedy fell upon them, and he's here to either prevent greater tragedy or address the fall-out, and he'd be the first to agree that neither of these options should be happening at all. It doesn't mean he's not gonna do what's right and give life and limb to protect them, but, it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to look after them in the first place. Maybe it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to protect us.

But then again, as I mentioned when I talked about my own reasons for liking The Shadow so much, there are many kids who would like nothing more than to have the Boogeyman by their side to protect them. There's comfort in knowing that the scariest man in the room is unconditionally there to protect you, and that is the comfort that The Shadow gives best. Not as Cranston, not under a friendly face, but as what he is.

Due to a lack of scenes from the pulps or satisfying scenes from elsewhere, I will instead be pulling one from a fan story written by Kimberly-Murphy Smith, editor and writer of The Hot Cornerm where The Shadow rescues a child who was kidnapped for blackmail. I couldn't care less that it's fanfic, and if you do, come back in 20 or so years after The Shadow's been made public domain and it's gonna be just as official as anything licensed (on my “to write about” list: how fickle the separation between “official” and “fanfic” is, and the many times it plainly didn’t exist). There’s aspects of her writing I don’t care for, but I really like this scene and I do think The Shadow’s more gentle interactions with people are necessary to getting the character.

Annabelle.

She stopped crying for a minute. "Who's there?" she said, her voice choked.

A friend. Your mommy and daddy sent me to pick you up.

"Mommy? Mommy's here?"

Sh-h-h. Annabelle felt a gloved hand gently stroking her hair. She's waiting for you at home. So, we need to hurry up and leave.

"'kay." She looked around. "Where are you?"

It's kind of hard to see me. It's dark in here, plus you've been crying so much your eyes probably hurt.

"Yeah."

Don't be afraid. I'm here to help.

"'kay."

The implicit trust of children was simply amazing at times. Adults trembled in fear of The Shadow's wrath, but children somehow seemed to understand that he was there to help them, even if they couldn't see him.

Sit up, Annabelle. I'm going to pick you up. Be very quiet.

One hand took each of her arms and guided them around a neck she could not see. "Why are you wearin' a blanket?" she asked as the fabric of his cloak brushed against her shoulders.

Sometimes I get cold at night.

"Even in the summer?"

Even in the summer. He gently stroked her cheek and wiped away her tears. Now, you need to be very quiet so those bad men in the next room don't hear us. I'll bet you're tired.

She nodded.

He rocked her on his arms, projecting a very gentle hypnotic relaxation into her with his powers as he did. You probably didn't get your nap, either. Poor thing. Lean on my shoulder and go to sleep. And when you wake up, you'll be back with Mommy and Daddy.

She yawned, then snuggled against his shoulder and went to sleep.

The Shadow sighed with relief. Now to get past the men out front. He gently pulled the pistol out of its holster under his left arm and slipped it into the belted waist of his overcoat within easy reach, then secured his grip on Annabelle and draped his cloak over her.

She clutched the edge of his cloak in her hand like a security blanket and snuggled against his shoulder again.

(Art by Jill Thompson)

[coffeecaffineandeverythinginbtwn]

Here is my @maribat-secret-santa-2020 gift for @liquid-luck-00

I’m really sorry It’s not finished (i had trouble finishing it due to school and some rough mental health problems) but I will be posting the outline so you can know the rest of what I had planned!

again i’m so so so sorry it’s not done. happy new year! please enjoy!

:readmore:

Marinette and the Runaway Assassin

~

Marinette Grason and the Runaway Assassin

The first thing they could remember was always flying.

Their parents always told them that the first thing a Grayson ever did was fly.

Whether it be him tossing his sister in the air as she did flips, or flying on the low swing trapeze with his mother and father. they were born soaring.

Their family was the best of the best. Humans with the agility and grace of birds. Their family never stayed on the ground for long. Nothing could keep a Grayson on the ground.

Until they fell.

Their wonderful parents never flew again.

~

Dick was trying his best to keep it together, for his sister, but the pain was almost too much. He was just 16. What was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t of age to care for Marinette and he certainly didn't have much money at all.

It was two days after the fall that killed their parents. Dick had cried himself to sleep, so full of grief, stress and uncertainty the night before. He wanted, no, needed to keep his sister safe, but what were they supposed to do? Live on the street? Marinette deserved better than that. Not to mention her schooling. There was just so many things he needed to think about he had no idea if they’d ever even survive -

A knock sounded at the door, startling Dick from his thoughts.

“Excuse me,” a deep voice came from behind the door, “I would like to speak to a mister Dick Grayson.” With those words the pit inside his stomach grew. It was probably some social worker coming to separate him from the only family he had left.

Dick opened the door and saw a large man with dark hair and blue eyes in a suit, “If you’re here to take me and my sister to some orphanage, leave now. It’s not going to happen. Get lost.” Dick, the normally polite boy, ended his statement by quickly closing the door.

“Wait!” The man jumped in, using his foot to jam the door. “I’m not a social worker. Mister Grayson I presume?” Dick just narrowed his eyes and nodded his head, “My name is Bruce Wayne. I was hoping to come to an arrangement that would greatly help you and your sister.

Dick had the urge to scoff, but he let the man, Bruce, continue.

“You see, I lost my parents at a young age as well. I want to make you and Miss Marinette my wards. You two would both get to live in my manor with your own room and have all the things you two would need to live a happy life. And you would not be separated. This can all happen effective immediately, as soon as you say the word. So, What do you say?”

This was insane. It was everything he and Mari could need. They could lead a normal, safe, and good life. There were so many goods that could come of this and yet…

Graysons are never tied to the ground my little robin. We must never be afraid to spread our own wings and soar. We are free spirits and we fly our own way.

With only that thought in his head, his ressove hardened.

“While I appreciate the offer Mister Wayne, I’m afraid I have to decline.” He began, “My parents used to say that we should never let ourselves be tied down. They were free-spirited and loved to travel. I want my sister and I to continue their legacy.”

Bruce looked a little shocked at this, and also a bit put out., but he quickly covered it with a determined look of his own.

“I see. If I cannot assist with housing, please let me help in any other way possible. Money is no issue, I can promise you that.” Bruce looked so ready to help them. And hell, if they couldn't use the help.

Dick was at a loss for words, “I- Mister Wayne- I can’t thank you enough!” Marinette would get to have the life their parents would have wanted for her. He didn’t have to worry about money any more. They could be free and go where the wind would take them. This flood of relief he felt did ease his grief a little for only a moment. It was one weight lifted off his shoulders.

“It’s the least I could do Mister Grayson.” He nodded, looking a bit relieved himself.

��Please, call me Dick Mister Wayne.” At that Bruce’s mouth quirked upwards the tiniest bit.

“Only if you call me Bruce.”

~

Over the next few years, Dick and Marinette went everywhere imaginable, traveling with the circus.

Eventually they decided to travel at their own pace. Marinette instided they spend more time in their favorite countries. They spent a few months in each, both gathering a love for each culture and language. Marinette especially took a bit of every country with her, absorbing each like a sponge.

Without the circus to keep them active in their travels and with barely any means to keep themselves protected, Dick and Marinette accumulated a mesh of different fighting styles. Neither ever truly mastered one, but both fought in a way very specific to them.

~

Currently somewhere in Italy, the two were waiting for one of their mentors to arrive for a meeting.

“Duckie!!” Marinette, now nine, ran to her brother with that particular spark in her eye, “Duckie! Guess what!”

Dick, smiled a little at the familiar nickname, “What’s up Nettie?”

Marinette jumped up and down excitedly. “Look what I can do!”

The small girl smiled and ran a little ways into the field nearby and did three handsprings to the shock, and pride of her brother.

“Good job Marinette,“ A voice that was not Dick‘s called from behind them, “I’m glad to see that you are improving well.”

An overall average looking man in his late 30’s wearing a firm, yet warm expression walked towards them.

Their mentor, Malachi Dobraski.

“Uncle Chi!” The Marinettw siblings voiced, running to him.

Malachi’s mouth turned upwards at the sibling’s outburst. “Yes, yes I have finally arrived. You two are, of course, ever so humbled to be in my presence.” There was a stretch of silence before the three burst out in laughter.

“Wonderful to see you two as always.” He said as he bent down to give Marinette a hug.

“So what did you need Malachi? You never call meetings so early in the month.” Dick said as he turned to face him.

Malachi hummed in an impressed manner, “Very astute Richard. I asked you here today because I wanted you to meet a friend of mine I had mentioned earlier. Gina, If you remember.”

At the mention of the woman Marinette perked up, The one who travels all around the world like us? We really get to meet her?” She topped off her questions with a wiggle of excitement.

“We’ll have to see about that Nettie.” Dick spoke fondly as he smiled at his sister’s antics. He then turned his attention to Malachi, “Will she be in town soon? You’re rarely one to throw out praise for no reason and you’ve spoken highly of her in the past.”

“She is a lady well deserving of my praise, Richard. To answer your question, yes. Ms. Gina will be in town Thursday evening.” their mentor said with another small grin.

Dick hummed while tapping his chin, “That’s about two days from now. Unfortunately me and Mari probably won’t be able to meet with her right away. We’re tied up until Saturday I believe. Will she be in town for long?”

“Gina is a free spirit, so it’s hard to say. However she has been interested in you two since I mentioned I was taking students again. I expect she’ll stay long enough to meet you.”

“That’s great!” Dick said, as cheerful as ever, “That settles it then.”

“Yay! We get to meet aunt Gina!” Marinette exclaimed, jumping up and down.

Instead of correcting his sister, Dick just shook his head with a laugh. Why does everyone we hear of instantly become family?

~

Marinette sat at a tall table in a quiet cafe. Her tiny legs swung eagerly underneath her as she hummed to herself. Her brother was up at the counter ordering their drinks. She was sketching, or trying to. It was really hard to focus when she was so full of jitters.

Today was the day they were supposed to meet Ms. Gina and while Marinette was excited, she was just as, if not more, nervous. She has always been this way with new people.

————————

That is the end of what i have written BUT NOW the outline:

Section One

Dick is older in this 16/17

Mari is 5 or 6

They grow up with their parents, until they die, again.

Dick is old enough to be emancipated/take custody of Mari

(Bruce didn’t adopt them but he helped Dick get emancipated and gave them loads of money)

Their parents were free spirits and loved to travel

Dick decides they should keep that alive.

The two stay with the circus traveling for around a year

And they continue to travel for 1 or 2 years

They meet Gina

Dick kinda wants to settle down Gina recommends Paris

They go to Paris

They get an apartment (thank you plot convenient Bruce money)

(she’s around 10 or 11 now. He’s 19 or 20 now)

Dick wants Mari to make friends or get a feel for regular school so she goes to FD

Section Two

Separately, Damian and the league are in turmoil (the coup happens)

Thalia might die Idk

Damian, not knowing what else to do, flees to Paris?

Tom and Sabine have always wanted children but were never successful

They find this aggressive child on the streets of course they take him in

Damian would grumble about their ‘lower status’ but would of course be secretly grateful and surprised at the unconditional love and care he receives from T and S

Section THree

Back to Mari

Being raised by Dick, she learned to be true to herself and also headstrong

She takes no crap from Chloé

(She eventually learns of her situation with her mother and they become less aggressive towards each other)

(she also learns a lot of different skills and fashion things)

Section Four

Damian arrives at FD

(He’s like 10 or 11 Mari is like 11)

Damian and Mari are both ahead of the curriculum (Both home schooled) same class

She is her kind self, doesn't know anyone else well and Dami is another new kid.

They stick together out of a sort of necessity

He’s cold at first but (go figure) he softens for her eventually

They slowly grow closer as friends

Dick becomes another behaviour mentor and Brother esq figure to Dami

Dick also sees Daminette’s in love right away

He teases Mari about it

Bada Boom they're 13 now

Section Five

Miraculos canon GO

Mari gets ladybug Dami gets cat

Mari doesn't get a crush on Adrien (the gum incident doesn’t happen because Chlo and Mari are on better terms)

Mari and Dami both immediately recognize each other in costume

Mari’s outfit is black with red detailing sans her cape/glider that’s full red with the five black spots. Has deep red boots that go up to the knee. Her ribbons are longer and can detach to use as a makeshift ribbon dance things (she also goes by Ladybird instead of Ladybug)

Damian’s outfit is his assassin outfit but black and tan undertones with cat ears (his pupils don’t change to slits) Damian goes by Leopard

Dick notices a change immediately He confronts Mari, She caves and tells him too

(She consequently reveals Damian’s Identity as well. No one could have that kind of chemistry with Mari that quickly)

He signs her up for many martial arts classes (She already had training in a few, picking up a lot from her travels)

Damian also helps train Mari in some ~Assassin Skills~

Basically, they’re bad asses.

The only thing stopping them from defeating Hawkey boy quickly is the fact that they can’t find where he is

Section Six

Moving on, Salt

Lila happens

Lila still sets her sights on Adrian (he’s got money at this point Damian is just a baker's boy to Lila.

Lila isolates the two from the rest of the class, even more so than they already were

Damian thinks the class are even bigger idiots

Lila is still an awful person and wants to make both Dami and Mari’s live miserable

Lila tries to go to Dick about Mari “bullying” her

He laughs in her face (he choses laughter instead of seething anger. thanks Hawky)

Lila then tries to get through to Tom and Sabine about Damian

This time it works, they have less reason to trust Damian (and he was also a major prick when they first took him in

(this happens over a year or so. Lila slowly gaining the trust of the class and Tom and Sabine)

The environment gets very toxic Dami and Mari decide to leave the school and go to online schooling (like at college level)

Section Seven

Time skip. They are 16 now

The two have had feelings for a while, they now realize them

Dami is less emotionally stunted, having both Dick and Mari around (Tom and Sabine too but they kinda suck now) so he doesn’t panic much

Mari is full panic mode

Dick is just in the corner all smug-like. (“you didn’t know you loved him? I’ve known this for years”)

Que pining

Lots of pining

There’s some angst, Tom and Sabine are negligent towards Damian (not mean but still neglectful)

He ends up staying with Dick and Mari more often than not

Eventually they both confess after a particularly rough akuma battle (the one where mari becomes the guardian?)

Both of them almost watched the other die. That was too heartbreaking for either of them to not confess

So they are together now.

It was an easy transition, they were already married pretty much

They’ve already figured out who Hawky boy is. They just need evidence

They get evidence. They also discover Lila was working with him

They take care of the Hawkmoth situation

Section Eight

Everything is good now right? Wrong

Batman Finally goes to Paris once Hawky is defeated,

(he kept in touch with Dick all these years and knew what was going on, {He practically became their “uncle Bruce”} He only stayed away cuz Hawkmoth)

When Damian sees Bruce visiting Mari’s House he freezes,

Mari: “what's wrong Dami?”

Dami: *whispers in her ear*

M: “He’s your WHAT???”

D; *whispers more*

M: “I- You- Um- WHAT”

D: *walks up to Bruce* “Hello, I know this is an odd way to meet but I am sure you know of Thalia Al’ Ghoul.” *B nods wairily* “Yes, well, I am your son. And unfortunately hers as well.”

“Yes, I’d be perfectly happy to do a blood test.”

Dick and Mari are shook

“Damian, You must come to live with me in Gotham”

Dun

Dun

Dunnnnnn!!!!!

End Part One

Again I am sincerely sorry I was not able to complete this story in time. Like I said before, I will (maybe/probably) be finishing this and planning a part two! I hope you enjoyed! (even though it’s the first fanfic i’ve written)

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

How the Straw Hats Talk

I got a request from anonymous asker about the differences in dialogue styles in Japanese between the Strawhats, which is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, so I decided to make it its own big post!

Luffy: All casual all the time. This boy has never used a polite form in his fucking life without being actively coerced. He also has a strong tendency towards informal honorifics for people he doesn’t know- I’ve mentioned ossan for ‘mister’ or ‘old guy’ before, but like he also calls Kureha obaachan (grandma). He also tosses a whole lot of casual nicknames around, but I’m sure that’s something that comes through in English as well.

Zoro: Basically the same as Luffy in terms of formality (by which I mean: none) but more aggressive (he has a lot more of a tendency to use words like teme and kisama, for instance, and more of a tendency to use masculine sentence-enders) and he often uses more complicated words than Luffy does. Also, less a speech pattern thing, but almost all of his attack names are food puns and that’s wonderful. 

Nami: Speaks very casually, and uses pretty neutral speech in terms of gendering- she uses 私/watashi for ‘I’, which is a very standard pronoun, as opposed to the more feminine あたし/atashi, which is what Nojiko, for example, uses. She also swears a lot. The only honorific she uses is for a crewmate is for Sanji- she calls him Sanji-kun, but only when she’s trying to get him to do something. 

Usopp: Speaks similarly to Luffy, but goes a little more over the top with it sometimes in terms of, like, how he refers to himself- he sometimes refers to himself as おれ��/ore-sama, which is like ‘the great and wonderful me,’ particularly when he’s trying to feel brave or hype himself up for something, and often tacks the masculine/emphatic particle ぞ/zo onto his sentences (some of the other guys do this too but it’s most noticeable with him). He also does the same thing Nami does where he calls Sanji ‘Sanji-kun’ when he needs something from him. I want to believe he’s seen her success and is trying, to absolutely no avail, to replicate it. 

Sanji: Oh boy. To start with, Sanji’s speech patterns are very different depending on whether he’s talking to women or men, and he especially tends towards overly formal language if he’s trying to make a good first impression on a girl (the best example of this is when he first meets Nami at the Baratie). He’s also one of the only members of the crew who uses honorifics, but he only uses them for women (-san for Nami, -chan for Robin and Vivi). Sometimes he goes really over the top with them- for example when he first meets Nojiko and learns she’s Nami’s sister, he calls her お姉様/onee-sama which is ‘older sister’ but with a very excessively reverent honorific attached. When he’s talking to guys, though, he drops all of that and is extremely casual and rude. He’s also probably the Strawhat who swears the most, with particular fondness for くそ/kuso (shit/shitty).

Chopper: He uses a very similar speech style to the rest of the male Strawhats (generally casual + masculine with ore for ‘I’ and omae for ‘you’) but it comes off as somewhat incongruous due to how baby he is- it would be more expected for him to use ぼく/boku instead, so his speech style comes off as kinda trying to make himself seem older and scarier than he is. Which is very cute. 

Robin: Speaks more formally than the rest of the Strawhats, comparatively. She’s the only one who consistently uses あなた/anata to refer to other people, and thus is the only one who has a default ‘respectful’ way of speaking. Also the only member of the crew (besides Vivi) to consistently use honorifics for everyone- I’m pretty sure this translates directly into English, so I’m sure you guys know this one already, but she calls everyone by their jobs+san, so for example Zoro is 剣士さん/kenshi-san, ‘swordsman-san.’ I’m also pretty sure she’s the only permanent crew member who never swears (at least, thus far. I’m almost at Enies Lobby, so we’ll see).

+Vivi: Vivi speaks casually, but doesn’t swear. She also horrifically overuses loanwords while in her Miss Wednesday persona, to come off as even more showy and over the top. She uses honorifics for the whole crew, probably because she’s both younger than all of them and not a full member of the crew. She calls everyone with (first name)-san with two exceptions: she calls Chopper ‘Tony-kun’, because he’s younger than her and technically joins after she does so they’re on more even footing, and she calls Zoro ‘Mister Bushido’ (yes, ‘Mister’ is actually sounded out in the Japanese), which is a holdover from her Baroque Works speech pattern. 

[polyamoryinfandoms]

Monthly Fic Roundup!

Hey gang! I’m posting the fics that were recommended on our last surveymonkey poll; thanks for everyone who recommended fics. Please note I did not get to read every fic on here and depended on your responses and the AO3 tags to mark for any triggers or story notes, so please read with caution if you’re worried about any content warnings!

If you want to recommend more fics, I’ll be posting another roundup poll later in the day today! 

Under the cut are 32 fics from: 

Agents of Shield (1) 

Bill & Ted (1) 

Castlevania (1) 

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (1) 

DCU (2) 

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (4) 

Game of Thrones (1) 

Harry Potter (1) 

Leverage (1) 

Mission Impossible (1 -- series) 

Sanders Sides (1-- series)

Sense8 (1)

Sherlock (1-- series) 

Star Wars (1) 

Stranger Things (8) 

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1) 

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS (2)

Teen Wolf (2) 

White Collar (1) 

Agents of Shield: 

is it chill that you’re in my head? by lazyfish 

Pairing: Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse/Alphonso Mackenzie

TW/TAGS: PTSD, Referenced Torture

Summary: It doesn't take long for Mack to realize he's in love with Bobbi and Hunter and has been for a while. Other realizations take slightly longer.

Bill and Ted (movie):

Our Home, Our Family, Our Love by CaptainWeasley

Pairing: Bill/Ted/Elizabeth/Joanna

TW/TAGS: slurs, implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, self harm

Summary: A series of firsts in Ted's life, as he slowly comes to terms with his sexuality and learns how to handle being in love with both his wife and his best friend. When Billie and Thea come out as trans, each in her own way, he does everything he can to help them be who they are.

Castlevania: 

Deliverance by cricketsong1985

Pairing: Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades/Alucard

TW/Tags: Blood kink, explicit sexual content,  gore, trauma, angst

Summary: Adrian is beginning to think that Wallachia will be a smoking pile of ash long before he, Trevor, and Sypha can stop Dracula’s war on humanity. They’ve been chasing the castle for months, but each time they get close, it vanishes. Traveling with such genuine and trustworthy allies has been unexpectedly pleasant; Adrian doesn’t mind that Trevor and Sypha are involved with each other, but he is taken entirely by surprise when they open their relationship to him one evening. Hopelessly in over his head, his heart keeps urging him forward, even when he’s forced to confront the darkest aspects of his nature. Adrian must learn to swallow his pride and let himself be vulnerable if he wants a chance at happiness. Unfortunately, there isn’t much time for looking within when the world is drenched in blood and magic, and the path to victory may destroy him completely.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: 

We will be judged by the courage of our hearts by MagicClem

Pairing: Harvey Kinkle/Sabrina Spellman/Nicholas Scratch

TW/TAGS: mention of an abusive parent 

Summary: It's been a month since the 13 almost destroyed Greendale. Now a full Witch, Sabrina tries to move on, with the help of one Nicholas Scratch.But one night, Harvey arrives at the Spellman's house and everything becomes complicated.

DCU: 

not for the faint of heart by pasdecoeur

Pairing: Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

TW/TAGS: Explicit Sexual Content 

Summary: Clark opens a door that was meant to stay closed. Things spiral. or, What Not To Do When You’ve Fallen in Love with Batman: A Guide by Hal Jordan & Clark Kent.

All Good Things Come in Threes (Legends of Tomorrow) by IncendiaGlacies

Pairing: Gideon/Rip Hunter/Miranda Coburn

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Summary: “Two is a couple, three is a crowd,” Gideon stated. In which Gideon navigates her polyamorous relationship with Rip and Miranda. Domestic slice of life goodness.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

Pairing for all of these are Pairing: Cameron/Ferris/Sloane and are written by @fbdo1986

it’s enough to be whiplash

TW: death mention (no character death), drowning

A/N: To put it plainly, I took a few tricks from John Hughes’s earlier scripts of the film, which were more surreal and up-front with discussing death and end of the world scenarios. It was inspired by a concept that I couldn’t seem to shake after I thought of it: what if the pool scene was just a bit more high stakes?

all the things I never told you 

Summary: It’s Sloane, Ferris, and Cameron’s first afternoon alone at the Bueller residence in months. The busy twenty-four year olds who’ve struggled to find time together as their lives unfold in front of them try to think of what to do for the day when Cameron decides to let them in on what he’s been keeping from them.

bye bye love 

TW: Death mention (none of the main characters)

Summary: A hopefully angsty number that details Sloane’s, Cameron’s, and Ferris’s journey through heartbreak and loss after their Sophomore year in college. The title is named after a song by The Cars by the same name!

firestarter

Prompt #5: Where it doesn’t hurt with the OT3

Game of Thrones: 

Constellatory by blueandbulae

Pairing: Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell/Robb Stark (polycule, NO incest) 

TW: Some canon typical violence

Summary: It’s strange and messy and maybe nobody else will ever understand them but it works. It’s theirs, and theirs alone, and nobody can take that from them.Or: Robb and Theon storm King's Landing, rescue the princesses, and save the kingdom. Then comes the hard part.

Harry Potter: 

Unconventional by silver_fish

Pairing: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger

Summary: A few years, now, have passed since Hedwig’s death, and Hermione thinks it’s time Harry got a new pet. What sort of pet, though, neither she nor Ron know. Not until Harry himself offers her the perfect solution, that is.

Leverage: 

for better or worse (we change together) by idkimoutofideas

Pairing: Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer

TW/TAGS: Canon typical violence

Summary: The moment Parker saw the stranger standing by the elevator, a dozen alarm bells went off in her head. She froze, and Hardison nearly walked into her as he entered behind her. It took her a moment to realize that while half of the alarm bells were telling her to get the fuck out of there, the other half were telling her to look closer. Or, Eliot Spencer is a recent war veteran who just moved to Portland in an attempt to lead a calmer lifestyle. He ends up with some weird neighbors, but it's Portland, everyone's a little weird.

Mission Impossible: 

Polyamorous Spies (series of 2 fics) by MagicClem

Pairing: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt/Ilsa Faust

TW/TAGS: Blood & injuries (2nd fic) 

Sander’s Sides: 

Love and Other Fairytales by SoDoRoses (Fairychess)

Pairing: LAMP/CALM (Logan, Roman, Virgil, Patton)

TW: violence, major character death, no NSFW in the main fic but there is a side series with NSFW, animal death, description of rot, nonconsentual control of another person, 'like death' state of being

Sense8: 

Crazy Life by MagicClem

Pairing: Kala Dandekar/Wolfgang Bogdanow/Rajan Rasal

Summary: Rajan would admit that this past few years had been crazy and life seems determined to make it crazier and crazier.Or: This is "Amor Vincit Omnia" from Rajan's perspective.

Sherlock: 

Lorem Ipsum by Saathi1013 (series) 

Pairing:  Sherlock Holmes/John Watson/Sarah Sawyer

TW: Abduction

Star Wars:

so just pull the trigger by Darnaguen

Pairing: Han Solo/Qi'ra/Lando Calrissian

TW/TAGS: Alcohol use 

Summary: “Oh, don’t pout Haan.” Lando lounges back, licking his newly berry-tinted lips with a lazy grin. “You know all you have to do is ask.”(Qi’ra’s eyes are glinting and her smile is dagger-sharp. Han knows the look: it’s one she wears whenever she has a winning hand.The dice on the table are mediocre at best. He shakes his head and drinks deep.)

Stranger Things: 

All pairings are Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler

The Hawkins Three by nonymos

TW: Some canon typical homophobia and slurs

Summary: It's two weeks after the Snow Ball, Nancy's officially with Jonathan, and Steve is trying to move forward. If only he wasn't on a path that keeps circling back to the both of them.

lovers in a dangerous time by diogxnes

TW/TAGS: Briefly: panic attacks/PTSD, parental neglect

Summary: “So,” says Robin, sitting back in her chair, “what’s the deal there, anyway? With the whole you-Nancy-Jonathan thing.”The question makes his mouth run dry. Why would she ask that? Can she tell, possibly, how much he’s been thinking about Nancy these past few days? How starstruck he was when Nancy showed up at his house? Does she know about the mysterious warmth in his stomach when he thinks about Jonathan? “What do you mean, the whole me-Nancy-Jonathan thing?” “Come on, Steve. She’s your ex and he famously beat you up two years ago and now they’re dating each other and all three of you somehow ended up a part of this weird little monster-fighting club together. There’s gotta be a story there.”“I don’t know, Robs,” says Steve, rolling his eyes, relieved beyond measure that that’s all she meant. “You pretty much just covered all of it. There’s not much more to tell.”

Have Happened by cortexikid

TW/TAGS: Homophobia

Summary: "I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”Steve's heart fluttered nervously.“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him. “But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

it’s a risk, it’s a gamble by nondz (pinkjook)

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says. "What?" Steve answers.

still turning out by scoutshonor

TW/TAGS: Homophobic language

Summary: Steve knows senior year's supposed to be tough, but seriously?Not only does his dad want him to take over his business, but he lands himself into a fight with his best friend leaving him friendless and booted out of his inner-circle, gets stuck watching a bunch of kids after school because of a missing credit, has to repeat eleventh grade history, and, oh yeah. He has the minor issue of having no idea what he actually wants to do with his life.But it's not all that bad: not the kids he has to watch, and certainly not Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, two friends from his history class. Friends. Just friends. Yeah, he and you both know that's bullshit.Steve's got a lot of figuring out to do.(or: HSAU Stoncy with Steve as a senior, doing his best)

(Following Stoncy fics are by @pterawaters​) 

Now and For Always 

TW/TAGS: Explicit, Sex where one party is drunk and the other isn't

Summary: Between graduating from college, starting new careers, and planning a wedding, the summer of 1990 is a busy time for Nancy, Steve, and Jonathan. When a war starts in the middle east, Jonathan gets called away just three weeks before the wedding. He’s determined to make it back in time, no matter what it takes.

It's not like people live like this

TW/TAGS: Car Accidents, Period-Typical Homophobia, NSFW

Summary: Concerned that Steve's less-than-stellar grades might have been making them look bad, his parents hired him a tutor, Jonathan Byers, they were sure he wouldn't find as distracting as his last one. Sure, Jonathan had good grades in school, but he really wished he didn't have to take the extra work to help his mother put food on the table. After all, everyone knew Steve Harrington was a jerk. Right? It turned out, not so much. After an impromptu study-session-turned-party and a game of spin the bottle, Steve and Jonathan both found themselves dating Nancy Wheeler. And that wasn't even the strangest thing that happened to any of them that week.

Mr. Sandman (series) 

TW/TAGS: Canon-typical violence, Explicit scenes

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.: 

Simmer On Low by canardroublard

Pairing: Illya/Napoleon/Gaby

TW/TAGS: semi-implied consensual voyeurism, whump

Summary: Scenes from five kitchens.

The Untamed/CQL/MDZS: 

inclusions by keiyashi 

Pairing: Sòng Lán | Sòng Zǐchēn/Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi

TW/TAGS: NSFW

Summary: “I guess I feel left out. And I’m asking you to show me how not to?”“Show you?” Xue Yang laughs, easing the tension the only way he knows how. “Daozhang, if you aren’t careful, I might think you’re implying something quite forward.”Xingchen blinks at him. “Xue Yang, I feel like you’re trying to embarrass me, but that is what I was implying.”

melting the glacier by keiyashi 

Pairing: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo/Niè Míngjué

Summary: Wanting to be with Nie Mingjue is something Lan Xichen accepted about himself long ago. He wants only happiness for his friend, no matter what form it takes. Even if that form is quite lovely and possesses an enchanting mouth.

Teen Wolf: 

Feels Better Biting Down by callunavulgari, hiza-chan (callunavulgari)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale/Lydia Martin

TW/TAGS: Blood

That I See You by FiccinDylan

Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski/Jordan Parris

TW/TAGS: NSFW, abo, m-preg (non graphic), werewolves, triads are normal

Summary: Deputy Jordan Parrish and Chef Derek Hale are in the prime of their lives and ready to take the next step in their relationship by courting an omega. Everything seems to be progressing smoothly until the new omega (aka Stiles Stilinski, the sheriff’s son) surfaces some unresolved tension from Jordan’s past. Jordan originally had the benefit of amnesia to block out his harried background, but now with his amnesia behind him, will he be able to resolve his past before he ruins his future?

White Collar: 

Always Starts the Same, with a Boy and a Girl by lightgetsin

Pairing: Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke

Tags: AU 

Summary: Summer, 1998. Neal Caffrey robs the gallery where Elizabeth O'Dell is working late, and comes away with a lot more than art. Agent Burke has no idea what's about to hit him.

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Humphrey’s playlist:

Body - Mother Mother

I wish I were sorry, but I’m honestly not. There’s no real consensus regarding what the song is actually about. I usually interpret it as being about body/gender dysphoria which isn’t really relevant here but I guess it links to the separation between body and soul and the idea that the body doesn’t define you which I think is quite relevant to Humphrey who relies on his soul for attention from others rather than his physical presence in a room.

Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

I feel like Humphrey probably has the most reasonable understanding of the passage of time of all the ghosts. He’s very down to earth compared to the rest of them. I know Robin has been there longer but I think he’s probably accepted the change of time without really considering it philosophically, whereas with Humphrey getting lost all the time he’s probably had more time to contemplate and I think he’d appreciate the song to listen to while he’s stuck various places. Also he’d like he piano, Humphrey’s a kinda piano man you can’t tell me otherwise (no Billy Joel fuck off).

Greensleeves - Ralph Vaughan Williams & Philharmonia Orchestra

This’ll come up a lot in various other ghosts’ playlists but I’ve tried to include some music from each of their time periods to try and capture what they would have heard so yeah, enjoy some Tudor music.

Tilted - Christine and the Queens

It’s been established that Humphrey’s wife was French so I felt the need to include at least a little bit of French which this song obviously captures. Also again it’s kinda the idea of not having total control over your body.

Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band

No idea why it’s just a Humphrey song I will take no criticism on this.

Don’t Look Back In Anger - Oasis

The scene with Fanny and Humphrey talking about their marriages is one of my favourite scenes and basically the whole “marriage went wrong but you can’t look back at it with contempt because it’s over now and time’s moved on” is what he was trying to say to Fanny and aid her recovery from her marriage trauma in the same way that Humphrey has healed from his.

High and Dry - Radiohead

I also see this song in reference to that scene with Fanny because it’s like no precise meaning to my knowledge but I interpret it as being about telling someone to let go of other people and what’s happening with them and focus on yourself and what you need.

My Iron Lung - Radiohead

Humphrey’s death is constrained by the decisions he made in life that brought about his death, which is kindaaaaa the meaning of the song like it’s a stretch. Like it’s actually about Radiohead being constrained by Creep as one of their most successful songs but like the idea of being stuck in a box and not being able to live freely. I really want to learn more about Humphrey’s life in the new series cause like, I want development to show how his beheading was brought about and what it’s like to live his… death completely restrained by his situation.

Body Terror Song - AJJ

“I’m so sorry that you have to have a body, one that will hurt you, and be the subject of so much of your fear, it will betray you, be used against you, then it'll fail on you my dear”. There we go!! Humphrey’s body wanders away - newsflash from me.

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles

“A ballad for the lonely”, catch me crying over Humphrey as usual. But yeah obvious reason is cause Humphrey is often left alone and unable to interact with the others. The other thing I like to think when listening to this song is about the idea of lonely people noticing the little details no one else does, in the song it’s clearly the little details about the protagonists lives (Eleanor Rigby picking up tiny grains of rice with no one to help, and Father McKenzie writing sermons no one will hear) but Humphrey - like I think many lonely people — notices little things like Francis writing the letter to Thomas etc.

Where Is My Mind? - Pixies

Idk this song is just trippy. I remember reading ages ago that it was about scuba diving. But yeah, I primarily think it’s a Humphrey song because I just like the image of his body wandering aimlessly about the house with this song looking for his head XD

Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks

Again, I’ve said this a few times now but Humphrey being an observer of Button House and what takes place within it’s walls, just watching the others going about their days as he sits alone. I know the writer said he watched the world from the window of a hospital as a child and I think being able to watch over the city without being able to participate because of physical ailment is pretty telling.

O Lord, in Thy Wrath - Orlando Gibbons & Choir of Clare College, Cambridge

This is just a Tudor song. I grew up very very religious and, while I’m not sure I heard this exact song, I spent hours upon hours in church services every week with songs very similar to this and the music was the only thing I actually enjoyed about it. But yeah, I wanted to include at least a few religious songs in Humphrey’s because of my theory regarding his death which (given that we might find out about it in season 3 and I might be totally wrong) I’m gonna just briefly mention XD I basically think his death might’ve been religiously motivated because of the instability of state sanctioned religion in England at the time. Elizabeth I (monarch when Humphrey died) put 200 Catholics to death and given that Humphrey was married to a French woman and the French were under Catholic rule at the time it might not be too far outside the realm of possibility for Humphrey to have lost his head for being the ‘wrong’ denomination. Idk, probably miles off cause I’m really bad at theories but we’ll find out soon hopefully!!

Pantyhose and Roses - Echobelly

Just for the line “it could change but it never will”. Being a ghost must be such a difficult existence because there’s very little they can do to change what’s wrong because they obviously can’t leave where they die. But especially for Humphrey, nothing can change really for him because of his situation.

Waltz #2 (XO) - Elliott Smith

“I’m never gonna know you now, but I’m gonna love you anyhow”. As far as we know Humphrey’s relationship with his wife obviously wasn’t the best and it seems as if he possible barely knew her cause of the language barrier and the fact it was an arranged marriage.

After Hours - The Velvet Underground

This song has such a feeling of isolation like wishing that you could be a part of everyone’s fun but you’ve yet to find the person with whom you can experience that fun with.

Out of Time - Blur

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again but the idea of noticing the small things around you and focussing on the bigger picture of the world rather than hyper fixating on the intricacies of our own existence. Also, this is totally irrelevant but there’s an episode of Torchwood called ‘Out of Time’ in which three people from the 1950s suddenly rock up in 2000s Cardiff and the Torchwood 3 team have to take care of them and try to teach them about the modern world (it’s one of my favourite episodes, like it’s genuinely really good) and I think that’s really cool.

Blackstar - David Bowie

The song is just sad and I put it on any playlist of a sad character, no further explanation.

Why do I use my paper, ink and pen? - William Byrd, Stile Antico & Fretwork

More Tudor music, Tudor musiccccc.

25 Minutes to Go - Johnny Cash

Obvious but yeah there we go: just basically a man waiting and being led to his death which, if the assassination theory is to be believed (which we shall soon find out I guess) then the idea of Humphrey being led to his death is potentially gonna be a sorrowful story to hear about in the show??

[nightglider124]

RobStar Week 2020: Day 1

Tis RobStar Week, guysss! Ugh. Yas. That means content for the week of my two disgustingly adorable children. We love to see it. 

I do believe it runs from 5th July - 11th July so check the robstarweek tag each day for some robstar joy :3

So, I haven’t written anything really for a while. Especially not based in the TTA universe. But, I’m mildly happy with this one. In theory, it doesn’t actually have much of the kids but it has Robin talking bout his crush with Wally. 

Confession... I don’t love the prompt of destiny/fate/star-aligned... all of that. Idk why cos like in essence I believe it. My babies are destined for each other. Buuut, as a prompt, I just never am a fan. So, I tried my best, I swear! XD

This oneshot is set after ‘Titans Together’ but before the movie, ‘Trouble In Tokyo’.

Uh, I know Robin talks about when Starfire kissed him and I know that he doesn’t discover that she learns languages through lip contact until the movie but like... c’mon. Robin is a smart guy and would have thought about it in the time since they first met. I don’t think he would bring it up cos he awks but I think he would put two and two together. So, when it’s mentioned, he is just kinda speculating and then it’s confirmed in the movie. That’s how I’m viewing it anyway. XD

Hope you like it. Happy RobStar week! ^.^

________________________

Star-Aligned/Destiny

The upbeat music drifted and pounded around the whole tower, with the epicentre of the noise coming from the main room, which was fairly packed with Titans from all across the globe, enjoying their Friday night. 

It had been about a week since they’d taken down the Brotherhood of Evil and put all the criminals that had been affiliated back in their rightful places within penitentiaries across the world. The ordeal had been difficult on each and every one of the Titans and it had taken a lot of time and energy to ensure that the threat was dealt with and the Brotherhood were dismantled for good. 

So, when Beast Boy and Cyborg had approached him about having a party to relax and say thanks to the whole Titans Network for their help in defeating the long standing villains, Robin had been reluctant to say no. He felt that a little fun was well deserved and decided it wasn’t often that they all let loose and just got to act like normal young adults, even if it was only for one night.

He felt good as he sat at the counter, dressed in civvies for the first time in a long time, with a glass of cold soda tantalizing his lips. He knew that some of the boys had snuck in a bit of alcohol and since all of the Titans were technically 18 and over, they were legally allowed to drink in private locations, according to Jump City law. So, he was letting it slide, but that didn’t mean he was about to consume it himself. Robin was all for unwinding but… he still had his wits about him, just in case any alerts came through.

Of course, in the morning, there were a few individuals who he wanted a word with regarding how they purchased the alcohol but he resigned himself to waiting until tomorrow, rather than putting his leader head on right now.

Robin cocked a small smile as he scanned the room from behind the safety net of his mask. He may well have been in casual clothing but the mask always stayed put; an unkickable habit of his, he mused.

Cyborg was over by the sound system, setting up playlists upon playlists with Bumblebee at his side, helping to sort through the music. He could see from where he was perched, every time she saw a song that she clearly didn’t like, she would delete it from the playlist when Cyborg wasn’t looking. It’d provided Robin a good few laughs throughout the night to see his cybernetic friend become confused, scratching his head and wondering if he had had too much to drink, despite only really having about one beer.

Beast Boy was lounging on the sofa, game station controller in hand; his gleeful chuckle echoing every now and then as he challenged those around him to a racing game that he’d practically lived on for the better part of the past year. Herald, Hot Spot and Killowat were huddled around him, each trying to gain the upper hand on the changeling who had won the 4 games prior to the current round. 

Robin turned his head, noticing Red Star was talking with Aqualad, Pantha and Argent over near the windows with all of them holding a beverage each and laughing, getting to know one another better since they were all teammates and they’d never really had a chance to interact with one another until now. Robin saw tonight as a good opportunity for the Titans Network to get a little more acquainted with one another so that they had a good roster of friends and colleagues for future events and missions, if necessary.

Directly ahead of him, Gnarrk and Wildebeest were sat at the table, conducting an arm wrestle to see who had the superior strength with smirks so smug that Robin could feel the bravado permeating the air around them. Kole was standing by her best friend’s side, offering quiet encouragement; believing in his abilities wholeheartedly. She smiled as Jericho turned to her, seemingly signing to her, his faith in Gnarrk to win as well; a gesture that made Kole turn a rosy pink and Robin couldn’t help but wonder if there was a bit of a connection brewing between the two.

Behind Wildebeest, Thunder and Lightning were cheering loudly, waving their hands and hooting in favour of the humanoid chimera who simply grunted in acknowledgement of their vocal support. 

Robin chuckled quietly to himself and took a sip of his drink, minutely shaking his head as he inwardly wagered on who he thought was more likely to come out on top of said arm wrestle. 

In the right hand corner of the room, Robin could see Jinx who looked less than thrilled as she was effectively sandwiched between Kid Flash and Mas Y Menos who were, by the looks of it, having a lengthy debate about who had the faster abilities. 

Scrunching his face up, Robin took a moment to consider how that conversation was going considering he knew for a fact Wally didn’t know much Spanish, if any at all. 

He shook his head and his eyes travelled over Speedy and Bushido who seemed to be talking and sharing fighting tips, with Speedy making gestures with his hands to explain the types of arrows he used when he battled.

Robin sighed in content, happy for the warm atmosphere surrounding them all. When he’d first started recruiting the people in the room to be a part of their hero network, he hadn’t even considered what it would mean for them to gel together but every single Titan in the tower had proved that they could work effectively with one another, without really even knowing much about those around them.

He was proud of his teammates and friends and he felt confident that if more threats on a larger scale were to ever crop up in the near future, then they would be prepared and ready with a strong force in place. 

Tapping his fingertips against the side of his glass, a lingering silver laugh caused him to pause; a tingle descending down his spine with a simultaneous heat prickling his skin. He lifted his head and his gaze inadvertently fell upon Starfire who was sitting on the back of the sofa, her long legs dangling down with her ankles crossed over one another. 

Her hands were clasped and in her lap as she talked animatedly with Raven, who in turn, was responding in her usual way of nods and small smiles, only speaking here and there. 

Robin gripped his glass a little tighter as he watched the alien Princess shrug her gorgeous mane of ruby hair over her shoulder, pooling down the length of her back. 

It had been futile to try and ignore how she looked tonight with Robin deciding how well Earth clothing suited her. She wore a lilac playsuit with a white floral pattern printed all over the fabric. The spaghetti straps of the garment fell perfectly on her shoulders with the rest of it hugging her body comfortably without being too tight or loose enough not to flatter her.

Although, Robin rebuffed that thought immediately. She could wear a trash bag and she’d still make it look amazing.

It was a short faux dress outfit but it was far from distasteful considering it was longer than her day to day uniform. The light frills at the hem were a nice touch, giving the illusion of it being a dress when in fact it wasn’t.

All in all, Robin had a tough time keeping his eyes off of her and it had been that way since the party started earlier in the evening.

He exhaled quietly to himself as he lost in himself in a momentary trance, with Starfire being the pinnacle of it all. Every single thing she did was endearing and he finally understood what people meant whenever they would compare a person to that of sunlight.

Starfire was the epitome of a ray of sunshine; constantly smiling and being her bubbly self, no matter who she was around. She could be around the grouchiest person in the universe and she’d still be able to coax a grin from them, without so much as even trying to. 

She was just so naturally inviting; like moths to a flame, Starfire was a friend to all and he could honestly admit that he had never met someone as kind and carefree as her which in his eyes was what made her so unique within their world of heroes. 

Robin stared after her, watching the way her jade eyes would shimmer whenever Raven said something remotely funny or something that Starfire could relate to. Her orange skin seemed to glow with every thousand watt smile that found its way onto her cupid bow lips. 

Just beneath his rib cage, Robin felt his heart rate start to increase; a quiet thumping of his chest, the longer he stared after her. 

Swallowing heavily, Robin averted his eyes, instead choosing to stare down at his bubbling soda. Despite this, his mind remained rooted on the one thing in the room he took the most interest in. He couldn’t help but inwardly dwell on his feelings for the Tamaranean girl, no matter how hard he had tried over the years to refuse and deny what his heart had been singing all along, since she first crash landed on the planet they called home.

It was a constant struggle for him; trying to figure out if it would be worth the risk or if he should remain stoic and unfeeling like another vigilante he was familiar with.

A sudden gust of wind enveloped him, causing his hair to rapidly fly out of place. Staying still, Robin merely sighed and blinked in annoyance, already aware of who was now leaning against the counter beside him.

“Wally…” Robin muttered, reaching a hand up to sort his hair out, casting a scowl in the speedster’s direction.

Kid Flash chuckled and pulled up a seat beside him and nudged his shoulder, “Hey Dick.” 

“Do you have to do that every single time?” 

“Duh. Think of it as… a privilege of being best friends.” 

“Pretty lousy privilege.”

He made a ‘psh’ sound and gave him another shove, “You get what ya get.” 

“Uh huh.” Robin replied, leaning forward to take a swig of his drink, feeling the cold liquid slither down his throat. Despite his best efforts to stay inconspicuous, he was unable to stop himself from stealing another glance at Starfire who had moved from her spot on the back of the couch with Raven.

She was giggling with Bumblebee and Argent, swaying her hips and dancing to the music that was swirling in the air; a catchy beat that seemed to be luring quite a few Titans into dancing now.

He could feel his face heating up as he registered that Wally was staring at him with a teasing smirk laced upon his lips. He cut him a scathing look and attempted his best batglare, making Wally snort.

“C’mon. When has that look ever worked to make me stop?” He laughed, taking a gulp of the beer he was holding,

Robin took a deep breath, awaiting the onslaught of jabs. He’d known Wally for most of his life, ever since he’d gotten adopted by Bruce on account of his links with the league.

It’d taken just one encounter with the redhead on a visit to the watchtower and they’d been inseparable. 

Of course, that changed somewhat after he left Gotham; the communication dropping with Robin being more so to blame, after effectively shutting those around him out. 

It picked up again though, once he had become more established with the Titans, going as far to offer him a spot on the team. Wally had declined at first, unsure how he felt about being with a team but after a while, he came around. 

It helped that he happened to run into Jinx whilst he was still mulling over the decision.

Robin sighed and half turned his body towards him, “What are you doing over here?” 

“Just wanting to catch up with my bud… obviously.” Wally replied, trying to appear aloof but failing miserably,

Leaning back, Robin spied Jinx still standing where Wally had been beforehand, staring at the twins in bewilderment as they babbled to her in Spanish.

“You know, you’ve basically abandoned Jinx.” Robin muttered,

There was a mischievous glint in his lime eyes as he waved a dismissive hand, “Bah, she’s fine. She needs to socialise with good guys more anyway. Needs to build on her newfound hero ways.” 

Robin shrugged and tilted his chin downwards, eyes on the counter top to avoid any more fleeting glances at anyone in particular. 

“So…” Wally drawled, in that tone.

Sighing heavily, Robin looked up at him, “What?”

“Star’s looking hot tonight.” He taunted and it took everything Robin had not to react in the way Wally clearly wanted him to,

“Mhm. She looks great.” Robin mumbled, not really in the mood for this kind of conversation. He had been feeling pretty mellow but he could sense that slipping away and being sent spiralling into the mess of emotions he experienced from time to time where Starfire was concerned.

“Dick… c’mon.” Wally persisted, levelling with him, “Your crush on her isn’t exactly subtle.”

“Well… she doesn’t know so it seems to be working so far.” 

Wally snorted, “To practically everyone else, it’s obvious that something is going on.” 

Dick took a deep inhale and gripped his glass with both hands, preparing himself for more of Wally’s insistence, “Well, there’s not. Sorry to disappoint.” 

“Dude.” He paused and leaned into him, his tone shifting into a more sincere one, “Maybe there would be something if… y’know… you made a move on the ol’ Princess?” 

Whilst it was in his nature to deflect anything to do with feelings; especially romantic ones, at all costs, there was something gnawing at him; encouraging him to open up a bit. It was Wally, after all.

“I can’t.” Dick sighed, loosening the grip of his fingers around the glass,

“Sure you can. Just get up, go over there and ask her to dance or… I don’t know, smooth talk her.” Wally suggested,

“No… I mean… I can’t. I’m the leader of the Titans… Bruce always taught me not to get involved that way with a teammate. It causes rifts in team dynamics and-”

Wally cut him off with a scoff, “Who cares? If you feel that way about her, which you obviously do, you deal with those kinds of things and work it out as you go along.” 

Dick sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 minutes, “It doesn’t matter.”

Sensing that he was retreating into himself again, Wally tried an alternate route, “You know… with all the doe eyes you make at her, you never told me how you actually met.” 

Without really even being aware of it, a soft smile graced Dick’s lips, “Uh… I’d just got to Jump and was dealing with this thief and saw this… streak of green across the sky. I went to check it out and turns out, she’d quite literally crash landed to Earth.” 

“That must’ve been so cool, man.” Wally laughed,

Dick inclined his head a little, “It was… different to anything I’d had in Gotham.”

“Yeah, but Starfire is… sweetness and joy.”

The ebony haired hero chuckled to himself, “Uh… not at first. She…” He paused and glanced at her, gauging just how much he should leave out about where she came from on that day, “She was… being held prisoner by these aliens… Gordanians are what they were called. Long running warfare between them and Tamaran and… a few other planets.”

“Prisoner?” Wally queried, clearly vying for more information,

“Let’s just say… she was forced from her world and it… wasn’t because of any crimes.” 

Wally stared at him for a long moment before something softened in his expression and he nodded, “So… what was she like?” 

“As you can imagine… she didn’t trust any of us. Hissing and seething and blowing shit up.” 

“Badass.” Wally grinned,

Dick chuckled, “Yeah… she didn’t know English either so… couldn’t exactly explain to her that we just wanted her to stop.”

“How’d she get so fluent in the language then?” 

His cheeks turned red almost instantly and he cleared his throat, willing the blush to dim until it vanished, “Her people can learn languages instantaneously through uh… lip contact. I think.”

“You think?”

“Well… after she… did it… um… she spoke English… so I just assume…”

Wally blinked in surprise, “Wow. That’s a useful trait-” He cut himself short as he recognized the discomfort on his best friend’s face, “Oh my god. She learned it from you, didn’t she? You got a kiss from her on the first day you met her!” 

Dick snapped his head in Wally’s direction, “Can you shut up, please? We’ve… never talked about it. Kissing isn’t a thing on her world… and I never brought it up.”

“She knows what ‘lip contact’ means on Earth though, right?”

“She knows now… I mean she must know, considering how many romance movies we’ve sat through on movie nights.” Dick shook his head, “Like I said… we’ve never talked about it so… I don’t know what she thinks on that front.”

Wally chuckled, “No wonder you’ve been smitten with her since day one. I would be too if a hot space girl kissed me in the middle of telling her to stop ripping a city apart.” 

Dick was about to protest, but relaxed and smirked, “Yeah… well… she made an impression, to say the least.”

“Sounds like… Mm… I don’t know.”

“What?” Dick prompted,

“You’ll just wave it off but… I mean… maybe it was meant to be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“People who are meant to be in your life don’t just fall out of the sky on a day to day basis, Dick.” Wally droned, looking at him like he was an idiot,

The Boy Wonder chewed on the inside of his cheek; his mind a bubble of thought, “It’s… not the craziest thing.” He paused and looked at her again, still dancing around without a care in the world, “She brought us together… we know for a fact… she’s the glue that keeps us together; the heart of our team… without her… we wouldn’t last.”

“See? That, my friend, is fate.” Wally surmised,

“I don’t know about that, Wally. It… just so happened we were all in the area at the same time.” Dick rebuffed,

“Listen… whether you want to admit it or not… don’t you think it seems a little too coincidental that you all met Starfire on this one day and it basically set out your futures for the next few years at the least?” Wally asked, raising an eyebrow at him,

“Okay, fine. Let’s say that it is… fate or whatever… are you saying that the same applies to how I feel about her?” He challenged,

Wally scoffed and flailed his hands around slightly, “Duh! I’m telling you, there is no way that you ‘just so happened’ to meet Starfire and your team, start a network of teenage heroes that extends across the world and end up falling for the one who caused this… cataclysm… just by chance. It just doesn’t happen.”

Remaining silent, Dick felt the urge to mock him ebbing away, the more he tried to reason with him.

He was probably the furthest thing from a believer when it came to things such as fate and destiny, having turned cynical shortly after his parents were murdered.

By Wally’s logic, everything in life happened for a reason, with the goal of eventually fulfilling the path set out in stone for you when you’re first brought into existence.

“Wally…”

“The universe didn’t exactly have you meet her to just be ‘best friends’ for your whole life. You wouldn’t stare at her or think about her or want her the way you do, if it wasn’t supposed to happen dude.” 

Dick blinked, “This is the most philosophical way of telling me to make a move that you have ever used.”

Bursting into laughter, Wally lifted his shoulders and smiled, “Yeah, you’re probably right. But you know what I’m saying, at least on some level, makes sense.”

The Titans leader evaded admitting something like that, “Mm… what I know is that you’re only spewing destiny related stuff because of one beer too many.”

Wally looked scandalised for a long moment before he shrugged, “Okay, I might be a tad tipsy but it’s still relevant, Dick.” He sighed and threw an arm haphazardly around his best friend’s shoulders, “I’m trying to push you… for you. Whether you wanna believe me when I say it’s some kinda fate or not, the fact is… you can’t expect her to wait forever.”

Tugging himself away, Dick pulled a sour expression and turned to him, “And what if I do and it blows up in my face, huh? What if I go over there and ask her out and she says no?” He deflated and looked down at the counter top, “I doubt she sees me that way anyway so what’s the point?” 

Chuckling almost instantly, Wally rolled his eyes and looked at Dick with a raised brow, “Seriously? Dude, I’m not even on your immediate team and I can see that she likes you just as much as you like her.”

Dick cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink on their own accord, “You don’t know that for sure.”

“Okay well, it comes across pretty clearly except to you, apparently.” Wally paused, “Besides, aren’t you basically our biggest risk taker? You love that whole thrill of not knowing.” 

Dick grunted, “Not on this kind of thing.” 

“Right, right because it makes you all vulnerable and junk.” Wally drawled, earning another glare from the masked hero but choosing to ignore it, “Dick… I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. I don’t think anyone can since you’re stubborn as hell. But… just remember… Starfire is beautiful and super sweet. You’re not the only guy in this hero network that thinks so… and if you don’t move your ass and at least make it known to her you’re interested… you might lose your chance altogether.” 

Opening his mouth to protest, Dick was cut short from doing so as Wally lightly nudged his shoulder and stared pointedly across the room, waiting for Dick to follow his line of sight as well.

Over near the large glass window panels, Starfire was standing, looking happily flushed from all the activity buzzing around her; something she constantly thrived on whenever parties were in full swing. Her smile was soft and patient as she bobbed her head, laughing at what was being said to her. 

Dick felt his stomach lurch and his heart started pounding painfully  within his chest as he noticed who was standing alongside her. Speedy was grinning at her, talking and making jokes about god knows what. He watched as the archer took a step towards her and gently touched her arm. 

Starfire appeared unbothered by the gestures but it greatly unnerved Dick, considering he could tell from Speedy’s posture that he was attempting to ‘woo’ her.

He bolted up from the stool he’d been sitting on at the counter, his fingertips pressing against the surface of it so hard, they were turning white. He could feel his chest constricting as his breathing turned harsh, an odd type of panic overtaking him.

“Hm… strange reaction for someone who doesn’t have feelings for her…” Wally murmured sarcastically before taking a long sip of his beer,

Narrowing his eyes, Dick turned to scowl at him, “How long has he been talking to her?” 

“Only about 2 minutes. Though… he sure looks like he’s getting comfy with your girl there…” 

Taking a deep breath, Dick let his hand slide off of the counter and he cleared his throat. He felt nervous but there was a knee jerk reaction in him that was yelling to get over there and interrupt Speedy’s attempts at romancing his best friend.

His gaze fell on Starfire who seemed oblivious to the obvious signals Speedy was sending towards her. Dick cocked a half smile, glad that she wasn’t playing into it. It gave him a rise of hope that maybe she wasn’t responding like a typical girl because she already had feelings for another guy that was possibly him. Maybe.

“What… what should I do when I get over there?” Dick queried, suddenly feeling the confidence drain from him,

“I don’t know. Ask her to dance?” Wally smiled sympathetically at him, “Dick… it’s Starfire. Isn’t she like… the one who makes you feel the most at ease?”

Dick swiveled his head back towards the auburn haired beauty, “She is.”

“Then it’ll be fine once you get over there.” Wally encouraged, tipping his beer bottle in his direction,

Nodding, Dick offered him a slight smile, “Thanks… Wally.”

“You know me, man. I’m a man of loveee.” 

Dick sighed, “And there’s the idiot.”

With that, he picked up his soda and made his way through the strings of Titans as casually as he could, without appearing as though he was desperately wanting to get between that tiny space that was still between Speedy and Starfire.

Watching through bright eyes, Wally smiled to himself as Dick reached the two. Speedy looked to be quite put out about his appearance but the speedster wasn’t paying much attention to him.

Rather, all he could see was the way Starfire lit up at Robin’s emergence. Her smile stretched from ear to ear, her emerald eyes shining with joy as she clasped her hands around his upper arm in an exuberant greeting. 

In return, Dick grinned back at her, talking with ease and a relaxed aura about him. Speedy looked effectively closed off and shut down, which if it were any other girl, Wally would feel pretty bad for him.

But, he knew how long Dick had had a thing for the alien Princess. He just hoped he would actually get it together and do something about it before it was too late.

“Well done, Grayson.” Wally chuckled to himself, before taking another sip of his drink and scanning the room for a certain pink haired sorceress.

[acewong]

The Interviews || Self-Para

Where: Santa Monica, California / San Francisco, California (in flashbacks)

When: February 2021 / flashbacks throughout Ace’s childhood

Featuring: Robin Horowitz, Tao Wong, Chelsea Cohen

Triggers: Mention of hospitals, mention of surgery 

In recent months, Ace had gotten into YouTube, specifically making vlogs. As apart of a series he was doing about his experience as a deaf person, he decided to interview his family to get a better sense of what it was like to watch him grow up and lose his hearing. It wasn’t something they as a family ever really talked about, so part of the project was getting to know the truth for himself. 

He went in with a vague idea of what he wanted to ask his family about, but he didn’t have any formal questions written out. Ace figured he didn’t need them because the conversations would flow organically.

Mom

The first interview was with his mom. Ace’s mom worked five days per week, and Ace worked Saturdays, so the only time he could find to interview her was on Sunday morning. After eating breakfast together, Ace set up the camera. He would’ve started sooner, but Robin insisted that she needed to put on something nice and do her hair and makeup. An hour went by, and Robin finally returned to the dining room. 

Once Ace gave her the signal that he was recording, Robin said into the camera, “Hi, internet. My name is Robin and I’m Asa’s mom.”

Ace then asked, “So, Mom, did you have any idea that I would lose my hearing when I grew up?”

“I knew it was a possibility, but not that it would happen when you were so young. When I got pregnant with you, I asked your father about his family medical history.”

“And what did he say?” 

“He said that a few people in his family had hearing loss. He said that people in his family started to go deaf in their late twenties and early thirties.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said, ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.’ What else was I going to say? I was already pregnant and I knew I wanted to have you.”

“So how did you feel when I started losing my hearing as a toddler?”

“I was concerned. I was really worried that you would have difficulty learning and making friends in school. What mother wouldn’t worry about that? Plus you were so young and you were still learning how to speak...”

“Did you ever wish that I wasn’t deaf?”

Robin hesitated to answer. She sniffled before replying, “Yes. There were times when I watched you struggle and I wished... I wished I could do more to help you. Everyone wants what’s best for their kid. And you were my baby. You still are my baby. There were times where I wished I had a magic wand I could wave that would give you your hearing back, but there wasn’t. So I had to learn how to help you in other ways.”

“And how did you do that?”

“First I had to learn to communicate with you better. We started learning sign language when you were about eight years old. Looking back, we really should’ve started sooner, but...” She paused to sigh. “We thought hearing aids would make everything better, but they didn’t. So once we realized that, we had to figure out something else that would work better. A friend of mine at work recommended ABC Languages to me. I signed the whole family up for lessons, and they really helped. Your dad and I also had tutors for you for school and after a lot of arguing with your school district, we got an interpreter to go with you to your classes. Do you remember her?”

“Yeah, I remember Miss Marie. So, is there anything you want to say to the people out of the internet?”

“If you want to be a parent, make sure you’re prepared for anything. You never know what your child will grow up to be. You just need to love them no matter what. And if your child has a disability, make sure you give them a little extra special care and be patient with them.”

Ace stopped the camera, then said, “That was very nicely said, Mom.”

“Thanks, Ace. I’m going to take this make-up off now.” 

Dad

The second interview was with his dad. His dad also worked a 9-5 job, so Ace decided to conduct his interview on the same day as his mom’s. After Robin was done, Tao swapped in. In hindsight, he probably should have interviewed his dad while his mom was getting ready to be on camera, but it was too late for that.

“Hello everyone, I am Tao. Thank you for having me on your show,” Tao said, smiling at the camera.

“Thanks for coming on. So, Dad, Mom told me that you knew that you had a family history of deafness when she was pregnant with me. Were you worried that I would go deaf?”

“My father started to lose his hearing when he was in his thirties, and my brother was in his late twenties. I knew it could happen, but... I don’t think I was fully prepared. Your mother was more prepared than I was. She already had your sisters when we got together, so she knew what raising children was like. I didn’t, at that point.”

“Can you talk about when you found out that I was losing my hearing and what your reaction was?”

“Sure. Your mom and I found out in 2002. You were in preschool and your teacher told us that you weren’t listening to her in class. We noticed that you would ask people to repeat themselves a lot. We took you to get a hearing exam and the doctor told us that you were starting to go deaf. I was in shock, honestly. Again, I wasn’t fully prepared. I thought that if it ever did happen, you would be an adult...”

“Did you ever wish I wasn’t deaf?”

“At first I did, but then I realized that it’s a part of you. I remember there was one day you came home from your sign language lessons and you were so excited to show us the new phrase you learned. You learned how to sign the word ‘proud.’ You signed, ‘I’m deaf, and I’m proud.’” Tao signed the phrase as he said it aloud. “You’re my kid, and I love you. All of you. Even when you don’t do the dishes when I ask you to.”

Ace chuckled at his dad’s quip. “So is there anything else you want to say to the people of the internet?”

“Always be proud of who you are, unless you’re a murderer. Then maybe not... And when your dad asks you to do the dishes, please just do them. It’s not that hard.” 

“Alright, I get it! I’ll do the dishes when I put my camera away!” he whined, pausing the recording. 

Chelsea

The last interview was with his sister, Chelsea. Chelsea was the most reluctant to participate in Ace’s project. He saved her interview for last because he wanted to make sure she was comfortable first. Ace conducted her interview about a week after his parents. 

“Can you introduce yourself to everyone?” Ace asked, turning the camera on. 

“I’m Chelsea.”

“And can you tell everyone what your relationship to me is?”

“I’m your older half-sister.”

“So, Chelsea, can you talk about what our relationship was like growing up?”

“It... wasn’t easy. It was mostly my fault, though. Abby and I were real jealous of you.”

Ace interrupted to clarify, “Abby is our eldest sister. She doesn’t live with us. Sorry, continue.” 

“Abby was ten when you were born, and I was eight. Neither of us really wanted anything to do with you. No offense. You kinda took all the attention away from us.”

“None taken. Do you think our relationship changed after I started losing my hearing?” 

“Between you and me? Not really. I was still jealous. I was kind of a little shit back then.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I just kinda ignored you. You’d try to hang out with me and shit, but I never wanted to. You’d try to sign with me, but I never really paid attention in those ASL classes, so I didn’t even know what you were saying to me half the time. It was shitty.”

“When do you think we started getting close?”

“When you got your surgery for your implant.”

“Can you talk more about that?”

“Uh. Yeah. Sure. Well, you were thirteen, and I just turned twenty-one. I had my own shit going on back then and I was really only thinking about myself. But I just came back to town that week, and Mom wanted all of us to be there with you when you woke up. Looking at you in the hospital bed, seeing how small and vulnerable you were, something just clicked for me. I thought to myself, ‘I need to be a better sister. We’re family, we should be sticking together.’”

Ace felt himself tearing up when she said that. Chelsea struggled a lot with her mental health back then, so Ace was glad that she was finally able to talk about it to a degree. His relationship with his sister still wasn’t the strongest, but he was so glad to be getting closer to her as an adult. “So is there anything else you want to say to the people of the internet?”

“ACAB.”

Ace laughed as he stopped the camera. “Thanks, Chels. Fuck, I’m definitely gonna keep that part in there.” 

“You fuckin’ better.” 

[darkpoisonouslove]

Setting Sale and Stardust for the fic ask game :)?

This took forever but I couldn’t make myself get to it when I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I have written both of those a long time ago and I don’t even remember the entirety of the fics and what happens into them. I’ll see what I can remember about the process, though, because I most certainly don’t have headcanons about them.

Setting Sale:

1. That was written for the Curious Archer Love Library. I really wanted to do something for that event and I had the idea but there was some panic over it as I wasn’t sure how to approach it. I was ready to give up at one point but theonceoverthinker encouraged me to keep it up (I’m pretty sure she used a Julie Andrews quote to achieve that) and I ended up writing it one sitting.

2. I remember that there was some back and forth with the ship. I wanted Robin to propose on the Jolly Roger and my mind insisted that it would be so much more romantic if she put in the effort to get the Jolly Roger that actually belonged to Wish Killian so I had her do that. And then I had to make sure that she knew how to sail it so the lessons in that came in.

3. I remember that coming up with what the engagement ring would look like was a process and describing it was no less of a process as well. XD English is not my first language and descriptions aren’t my strong suit so that was a bit of a struggle but I am quite pleased with what I got in the end. The idea that Zelena used magic to make the gems on the ring the exact color of Robin’s eyes came in during the writing because I thought it would be cool if the gems were the color of Robin’s eyes (to link the ring to the love she holds in them for Alice) but I thought that would be (next to) impossible to achieve without magic so I threw that bit in. And then I got the idea that Alice would like to give Robin a ring as well and she could use her powers to do that and make it an original idea (which I think it really was if I do say so myself).

4. All the mentions of other characters actually came in once I started writing it. They were never planned but I thought it would give some flavor to the story and flesh out life in the United Realm so I decided to include what I could and whatever came up to me. I ended up mentioning most of the extended family and I was super happy with that. I love including all possible characters even if it is in small ways!

5. I was so giddy with happiness and pride when I thought up Robin’s idea to make the entire ocean “the place where they got engaged”. I thought it was really romantic to tie it to Alice’s love of the sea and the freedom and happiness it brings her. In fact, writing this fic led me to the conclusion that I should probably open up and agency for personalized events as I think it really turned out romantic and unique and very personal to the two of them and their story, or at least Alice’s story. (I had an idea of Robin shooting an arrow at an apple on their wedding btw but I haven’t gotten to fleshing out my image of that event enough to write a fic about it).

Stardust:

This one is actually harder even if it is more recent.

1. When I saw the theme of stars for Knight Rook: a History, Stardust was pretty much the first thing that popped into my head. I remembered only the end of the movie but I was convinced that Alice and Robin would be great in the main roles. I actually had to rewatch the movie in order to write the “fic” which was kinda ironic since I ended up changing most of it anyway. I think a lot of the structure of the story remained the same even if the events were tweaked and adapted to the OUAT world and characters.

2. I had a blast with this like I always do with AUs. I love taking the characters and adapting them to a new setting or situation. It is one of my favorite forms of creativity and there was a lot to adjust with this AU. I used versions of the characters from different time periods. Emma isn’t the daughter of Snow and David (but they still have Neal) and I actually merged Killian and Wish Killian together, the Golden Hook relationship was actually at its final phase instead of going through all of them and I adapted the plan for the star to be more Gothel rather than the way it was done in the movie. The ogres having come from bugs when the ground got poisoned with darkness was one of my favorite things to come up with ever!

3. I got the idea of them all living in Mist Haven from season 2A. The people left behind after the curse had their safe haven from the ogres and I decided to have that and with some inspo from the visuals while Cora cast her spell to protect her and Killian from the Dark Curse, the barrier around Mist Haven was born and the beginning and the ending of the story were set. I actually really loved how that turned out as it provided one of the major points of Robin’s arc and that was searching for who she is and being unable to find it in her birth place. And it also led to another one of my favorite ideas and that was reshaping the magic of the glass slippers to allow Robin super speed. Now I have no idea how I did that but I love it on all accounts, including the fact that it fit in very well with me trying to keep Robin to her not so well developed powers.

4. Now Alex and Gideon took some effort until I figured out how they fit into the grand scheme of things but I knew I wanted them to be in it as Robin’s lifelong friends. I really think that the friendship that was sort of forming between Zelena and Belle would have transferred onto Robin and Gideon if the Golds had stayed in town so I took the opportunity to have it here. And I have always been a big fan of the idea that Alexandra and Robin were best friends, at least before Robin started learning magic. So I included her as well and eventually they fell into their places to bring the story full circle.

5. The ending wasn’t supposed to be sad at first but then I figured that that was what made the most sense. If Alice’s light was to neutralize the darkness, it would only make sense for both to disappear, not just the darkness. And despite the pain it brings me (and believe me it hurts so much to know Alice dies when both she and Robin were just a step away from getting everything they wanted), I am actually very happy with the way I wrap it all up. I like how Robin gives back to other pieces of both herself and Alice to help them find closure for the wounds she is responsible for causing them and I am still so in love with my ideas about the yellow flowers left behind after Alice’s death (had to include that nod to canon) and the final idea of fish turning to starfish when swallowing the stardust. It was a nod to canon again and a way to come full circle with my entires for Knight Rook: a History since I had that same idea in my first entry. And to me, personally, even though the end really hurts, it is also satisfying and even sort of peaceful when all the plot threads feel finished.

So that is all I got on these. I hope those were at least somewhat interesting to you!

[elsarah]

Favorite clips of s5

Thank you so much @smblmn​ for tagging me, I love the idea! While the season as a whole was kinda underwhelming, it was full of amazing clips and I do have a lot of favorites. Here’s my top 10 and a few honorable mentions. I tend to have one favorite clip by episode, except for episode 8, which I REALLY didn't like. I didn't rank my picks, I'll just list them chronologically.

And since I didn't have the opportunity this season, I'm also making gifs to illustrate my picks :) I need the practice, as you can see.

Ep.1: Samedi 0:25 - Le choc

One of my favorite things this season has been the symbolism and the metaphors around sound and silence. In the first episode, there were 2 occurrences: Arthur seeing Noée for the first time underwater at the pool and him looking in the street as snow falls and slowly realizing he's gone deaf. I thought this was an amazing idea and that it gave disability more depth and beauty.

And that look at the camera in the last seconds… And the piano music… It was so chilling.

Ep. 2: Jeudi 20:59 - La nuit de

Globally, the scenes at the association were my favorites, even though I have a complicated relationship with them. Before shooting started in October, someone from the crew promised they would invite me on set during the filming of these scenes, but they ended up breaking their promise. I try to be as drama free as possible on the internet so I didn’t talk about it publicly but now that the season has ended I’m like “Why should I bottle this up, I’m not the the one who screwed up and I’m still hurt about it”.

The first time I watched that clip in January, I was heartbroken. Not just because of the missed opportunity but because I realised I never got to experience what Arthur did; there was no association for me, no one. But I still have a really soft spot for this scene because it's just gorgeous. The aesthetic is incredible and I totally understand what Arthur feels (minus the alcohol). Overall, as bittersweet as it is, it's probably one of my top 3 scenes this season (and it looks like it's one of David's too, this man has great taste). I can’t help but feel for the teenager I was and I wonder how I would have felt watching it then.

Ep.3: Vendredi 13:12 - Check de frérot

Arthur and Basile's friendship was one of the highlights of this season, heck Basile WAS the highlight of this season. Basile and Arthur never shy away from hugs and I'm living for it. I'm so looking forward to see more of Basile in season 6 (since I guess we'll see more of his relationship with Daphné). I loved seeing him be so well-intentioned, despite his usual clumsiness. Seeing Paul in a more serious register (for instance when Arthur lashed out at the boys in episode 6) was delightful.

Ep 4.: Lundi 19:02 - Les entendants

This one also belongs in my top 3. This is the representation I was looking for when I learned Skam France would tackle hearing loss and deafness. It doesn't come in the same package for everybody, and I love that they tried to show it through so many different characters. The situations described here are universal among deaf people.

On a more personal note, I loved that the extras were actual deaf people and sone of them well known. The lady interpreting is Jennifer Lesage-David, co-director at IVT, and she helped David and Niels a lot this season. And the girl speaking about her relationship with her dad is Lulu, she has a YouTube channel with her sister where they raise awareness about hearing loss. The instagram post that was published that day also featured a lot of people I more or less know.

Watching this clip was an experience in itself. I was attending a conference that night about deaf TV archives. The clip dropped 2 minutes before it started and I had to wait for it to end to finally watch. It was excruciating. Also, half the staff of IVT was there and I actually ended up watching the clip in front them. There were like "Wait? Jennifer was in Skam?".

Ep.4: Vendredi 20:43 - Ma vie a changé

While I'm still sceptical about Noée falling in love with Arthur so quickly (this sign song is unambiguous), I think this is one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole series. I don't care very much about this being romantically coded, I just choose to focus on the sign song, because I'm so happy they featured deaf visual arts.

My friend and I spent hours trying to decipher what the song could be about and our interpretation differed a lot from Winona's original text but we loved doing this. David was curious to see how my friend would understand it (especially the part where Noée signs a growing love which she cradles) and he was so happy when she understood it right.

For those interested, here’s what we interpreted (roughly translated into English):

Like two souls lost in the storm, Swayed by the tide, Never really seeing each other Until ours eyes meet. Something is growing inside me, something new, That sets my heart beating. You take off my mask and the truth in your eyes, Fills my heart. Look at me, I also see you.

Ep.6: Mercredi 18:31 - Un simple bout de métal

Also one of the scenes I was expecting the most this season, especially when it transpired that Noée was a bit radical. Her letter echoes my own fears and I thought it was really on point. Arthur admitting he needs her made my heart melt, he's so lucky to have met her. And Winona was amazing in that clip.

Ep.7: Vendredi 20:31 - Sourd dating

Just like for "Un simple bout de metal", I was also expecting that scene. I like that they made Noée and Camille voice their opinion like both faces of the same coin. It was a great way to address cochlear implants as they're a sensitive topic in the deaf community. I think this is one of the most shining example of the research work they did. They could have just stopped at Noée’s letter. But since they had deaf actors like Lucas, who is also implanted and has faced prejudices from radical Deaf people in the past, they had to show implants were not evil and that the situation was more complex than just “Doctors who want to act as gods”.

Learning Noée’s backstory was also interesting, although I didn’t expect her to be an "ex-implanted" deaf. She explains that she learned sign language at the association, which can't be more than 3-4 years ago (and if you look closely in ep 3, when Arthur checks the website, she says she joined the association at its beginning), but there's no way Noée would have that proficiency in sign language in just 4 years of practice. Winona's fluency in sign language is clearly that of someone who grew up with it. I loved being able to notice these subtleties.

Like all the clips at the association, it was a joy to watch because of the atmosphere and the sign language. The deaf extras were lovely. I actually got to meet a few of them last month and had an amazing time with them.

Ep.9: Vendredi 20:17 - Choisir pour toi

Coline. singing. Do I need to say more? I like that both Noée and Alexia had their shining moment and as clumsy as the story got, I appreciate that the writers didn't try to pin one girl against the other and make one superior. Noée had her sign song and Alexia her own composition. And both were breathtaking. What really gets me in this scene are the colors. I'm a sucker for aesthetics.

And of course, it was great to see Alexia stand her ground and break up with Arthur. I have nothing but respect for her and I'm team Alexia + happiness all the way.

Ep.10: Lundi 10:04 - La même vie que vous

When Melchior, Laura and the brochure subplot was introduced, I was a bit wary because their introduction scene was really, really awkward (it wasn't very well tied at first). By their second scene, at Arthur's place, I was sold. It was great to address accessibility and show that there's no point putting people with disabilities in the same bag, because there are hundreds of them and the needs are different. What doesn't change is our wish to live our life at the fullest, just like abled people. And this scene was precious. Seeing Arthur endorse this new part of him and support his peers was everything.

Ep.10: Vendredi 20:47 - Le meilleur des mondes

I'm still very emotional about this scene. Like… I don't know what to say, the music still sends shivers down my spine.

Honorable mentions :

Ep.1: Mardi 11:59 - 3, 2, 1,…

One of the only things Robin told me about the season when I met him at IVT was that the first clip would drop on New Year's Eve at 11:59 p.m.. That date became a beacon during fall and oh you wouldn't believe how much I waited for that clip to drop and how much I was looking forward to it. And it freaking delivered. The atmosphere, the tense music, that first shot on the loudspeaker, the confetti clogging it gradually… That teaser was a masterpiece.

Ep.2: Like… the whole episode actually. The alarm clock concept was genius.

Ep.4: Samedi 10:15 - Nouveau style

One of these gorgeous clips without dialogues that still say lots.

Ep.5: Samedi 10:03 - Maîtriser le langage

Oh my, this one was so relatable and a joy to watch. Camille explaining that sign language and mimes are different, Arthur being that dimwit asking about swear words and being told off for speaking… Kuddos to the deaf extras who had to pretend they didn't know any sign language, it was so funny (looking at you, Enzo).

Ep.6: Samedi 8:30 - Mythos

Seeing Arthur lashing out at his friends was cathartic. He roasted them so well, I wished I had his ability to speak so well when I'm angry. A+ work.

Ep.6: Dimanche 14:41 - Envie de rien

Alexia being the real MVP, as always.

Ep.7: Samedi 2:15 - Pool Party

It’s strange, because even though a lot of the story went down in this particular episode, it must be one of my favorites, like… tied with episode 2. It has probably a lot to do with the fact there were mostly deaf characters and that they had so much fun together. It’s something I can relate do, the sheer joy of signing the night away, which is something I didn’t get to experience until very recently.

As gorgeous as the underwater scene is, I'm not a fan of Noée and Arthur's almost kiss. I picked this scene because I love the moment of sheer joy that follows; everyone joining in the pool and having fun together. And of course the rise of Camika. I know it's a bit convoluted to have the two openly gay guys fall for each other first time they meet but… it just worked so well.

Ep.9: Mercredi 21:34 - Frère

This clip was about to make the top 10 cut when I remembered about another one and I had to remove it. Just Basile being lovely Basile.

Ep.9: Jeudi 17:30 - T'es pas tout seul

This clip was so important, bless the nurse and bless Jérôme. I wish Jérôme was my audiologist, to be honest.

Ep.10: Samedi 13:39 - Maman

Arthur's mom was so lovely and I'm so sorry she had to go through this shit with her trashcan of a husband. I liked her relationship with her son and her reassuring him he's not like his father was very soothing. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Arthur at the end of this season and I appreciate he’s well looked after after what he went through.

Ep.10: Jeudi 17:46 - Recommencer

Just like "Nouveau style" from ep 4, it's another one of these silent clips that has lots of meaning. Arthur putting back his glasses, slowly accepting his life won't be the same and that he has to move on. Except now things are clearer. Skam France love its symbolism and while sometimes it's very poorly done (like the love triangle emphasizing on Arthur's balancing between two worlds), more often than not it's very compelling.

Now I want to rewatch everything, so see you soon I guess :)

[writerseven]

hey if you're still doing commentaries could you maybe do one on the conversation dick and alfred have in the most recent chapter thanks

 I am always down to do commentaries!

This got long, so I will put my rambles about this bit from brother chapter two under the cut:

so when plot was just starting to happen in the series, I actually debated for a bit whether or not Alfred would know, and how much. Ultimately, I felt like him knowing would make more logical sense and feel more grounded, and some version of that reveal has been in my outline ever since I had an outline. I have been waiting for the chance to write that, like, five second moment of one of the kids having a stomach-dropping realization that alfred has known this whole time. I think early on it was much later in my outline and it was Tim? But in terms of plot machinations and where things are headed and characters emotional states, it ended up fitting perfectly for Dick in this moment.

Setting that up was tricky. I figured some people would already suspect, but I still wanted it to be potentially shocking for readers who anticipated a nicer Alfred? I really tried to figure out how to tune that entire chapter to feel like it was building up to Good Guy Alfred, and add in little mentions from Dick’s PoV of Alfred being great/kept in the dark/etc that would set expectations without being too obvious as red herrings.

Honestly, I’m not sure I really succeeded on that, but as long as that moment is still horrifying and awful, that’s more important that being shocking. If I were to go back and edit this series as a whole, I would probably try to set that up for longer to really pull the rug out from under people.

asdfjk I’ve written a bunch and I haven’t even gotten to the actual convo you asked about yet

OKAY. So Alfred doesn’t have a lot of lines because it’s not a very long scene all things considered, so I tried to really be thoughtful about what he did say. Right before Dick “tells” Alfred, we get this:

Alfred doesn't complain, glancing over his shoulder. His mouth gives a wry twist at the display. “Ah, well. You know Master Bruce. It does not matter what logic or decency or I say when he's determined to wallow in guilt.” 

They’re talking about the Jason Robin suit display, but that’s also setting up everything that comes after.

“Were I capable of stopping Master Bruce from every foolish idea that gets into his head, he wouldn't be gallivanting about each night to risk his life dressed as a flying rodent,” says Alfred, pushing the kettle back into its designated place. “I can protect him from many things, but not himself.”

And that’s kind of the basis of Alfred’s feelings here. He doesn’t approve of Bruce abusing the kids; of course he finds it indecent and misguided and perhaps, if he can admit it to himself a tiny bit, wrong--but it’s not his doing, and, gosh, well, he’s tried his best to steer Bruce right and you can’t win ‘em all, right?

He’s also, like, super focused on Bruce above all others. Alfred calls Batman a foolish idea because of the way it endangers Bruce, and even frames the idea of stopping him from being a pedophile as “protecting him from himself.” Alfred cares about his pseudo-grandkids and would rather not have to chose, but Bruce is his baby and will always come first.

A lot of enablers of this kind of abuse are romantic partners, and because of the unusual way the Robins were raised, that’s not a far off comparison from their side of things; Alfred took somewhat of a parental role for Dick and Jason especially. But in terms of Alfred’s psychology, I think of this more like an enabling parent--the kind who wants their kid to be good and well-raised, but ultimately just cannot accept the concept of their precious child having done something truly bad. And if that kid ever did, they’d be helping bury the body instead of asking questions.

Alfred's eyes are low—No. Alfred's eyes are averted. His lips are still pinched, brow still creased. Dick doesn't get it at first. But something cold creeps into his chest. “Alfie...?”

[fixed typo count: 1. how am i so bad at this]

One of the most annoying things about describing facial expressions (or body language) is that you can describe it textbook-perfectly for a particular emotion, and still have it not convey the emotion you mean it to. Part of that is that we only have so many words for the ways faces move, part of it is that individual facial movements can convey multiple expressions (e.g. frowning can be for irritation, disapproval, disappointment, sadness, etc), and part of it is that if you’re not using words that convey obvious emotion (’scowl’ ‘smile’ ‘grimace’ etc) readers kinda have to take a second to actually picture what you’re describing before they can discern an emotion from it.

...on the flip side, if you want characters and/or readers to misunderstand an expression, that means you can still get away with a lot of describing.

All that lowered eyes, pinched lips, creased brow could be the sign of someone taking in horrible news and trying to suppress a strong reaction, which is what Dick thinks at first--and then a little word choice of flipping the vaguer “lowered” to the distinctly guilty “averted” and Dick starts to get it.

“Perhaps,” Alfred says, carefully selected words, “you should let it not be true.”

And there we get to, like, the entirety of Alfred’s justification. Love for Bruce is why he lets this continue, but the how is just a straight up I Do Not See It. From a little later:

“There are things in his life,” Alfred says tightly, refilling his cup, “in any loved one's life, that are simply separate from our own.”

I don’t know if this is ever going to come up, so I don’t mind mentioning it here though it hasn’t been explicitly shown in the story--but this is the first time Alfred has ever really discussed this with anyone. Dick is the only person who is fully aware Alfred knows.

If you go back, you can actually see brief mentions in Bruce’s PoVs of keeping things hidden from Alfred, e.g. debating if he could convince Alfred that short-shorts for Robin are a tactical decision. I think I dropped that in the first time before I had actually considered Alfred’s role in a longer story, but I ended up liking the idea that not even Bruce is certain whether Alfred is aware of his abuse. He goes back and forth between thinking maybe Alfred doesn’t know and he must hide it (because clearly Bruce is such Clever Genius Sneaky Man that no one could ever learn his secrets), and suspecting closer to the truth: that Alfred knows, but the silent condition for his enabling is that Bruce never ever brings it up and lets Alfred feign ignorance.

I realize I’ve talked a whole bunch about Alfred here and said almost nothing about Dick, but to be fair, we’re already in Dick’s PoV so there’s not as much new stuff to cover.

What if he doesn't? Dick can say something stupid instead, watch Alfred's face clear and that smile return. They'll go upstairs, maybe, have tea with Jason, laugh and reminisce. Bruce and Tim will return later, change back in the cave, and come upstairs where they can all be together. This little messed up family in the kitchen, happy and unbothered. Alfred won't have his heart broken, and Jason can warm up again, and Bruce will smile at Dick, and Tim won't resent him. And all Dick has to do is pretend he was wrong and never say anything, until he starts to believe it himself.

They could be a good, happy family. The blissful life of ignorance.

I feel WEIRD talking about my own feelings on my writing (because what if they’re completely off base from how it reads??) but I think this was the most crushing bit to me. Dick so badly wants the good family that he deserves, wants his dad to love him, wants everyone to be happy. And, without knowing it yet, he’s basically described what Alfred actually did. Dick is going to push past this moment of weakness, do the right thing instead of pretending, say something so incredibly hard--and then find out it was all pointless because someone else already made that choice.

Sad. Alfred looks sad. Dick doesn't understand, he doesn't understand. It's the wrong sadness. And Alfred's—being—gentle.

“Let's get you some tea and a chat,” Alfred says. Dick means to refuse that too, but the words get choked up and the next thing he knows Alfred is guiding him up that long staircase. That hand on his shoulder is so gentle and the words are so gentle and the pace is so gentle and Dick can't seem to resist any of it and he doesn't know where his—body has gone.

I kind of realized after I wrote the previous chapter that I would never be allowed to use the word “gentle” in Dick’s PoV without it carrying a very specific connotation. And on the bright side, I can just drop a single word and have already established the emotion behind it!

Alfred is now placed alongside Bruce (and Catalina Flores, and the BPD, and those appeared-for-two-seconds traffickers...) He has the upper hand, and has no need to be cruel.

(also that “he doesn't know where his—body has gone” my dudes, Dick must have, like, so many issues with bodily autonomy after all the shit he’s been through, even in a ‘verse where Bruce isn’t an abuser, and I could do a whole post about that y’all)

Alfred gets him some tea. Dick stares at it until a soft sound and Alfred sipping his own in demonstration stirs him to follow suit.

They're sitting at the kitchen island. Dick is sitting at the kitchen island, dangle of his legs off the bar stool making him feel like a kid again. Alfred stands on the island's other side, patiently watching him. Tea. Kitchen. Alfred knows. Dick has the vaguest presence of mind to wonder if they passed Jason on the way up. He's pretty sure they didn't; Jason must have moved.

[dissociation intensifies] adjf honestly I was like “oh no am I using dissociation too much in this series” because part of me always wants to highlight the different ways people can react, but IN MY DEFENSE dick has a canonical history of reacting to traumatic events like this so. yeah. Errbody dissociating.

(For the record, Jason did indeed move and they did not pass him.)

There’s a middle bit to this conversation that I don’t have to much to say about where Dick is just trying to come to terms with the revelation and completely failing to understand how Alfred can not do anything. because Fundamentally Good Person Dick Grayson reigns supreme in my heart.

and then that tension escalates to:

Dick hands clench on the tiny teacup. “He's raping kids.”

“Richard.”

From getting to chat a bit in the comments, it’s not just me, but I’ve always found that initially naming a thing can feel more shocking than the thing itself. Bruce grooms his victims (Dick included, though Bruce never raped him), and gradually submits them to more and more discomfort, and gaslights them, and that sort of slow ramp up can make things seem...less awful, or less definable, or less abusive than they actually are.

I’ve always found things seem a lot clearer in retelling (or, for fiction, in telling at all), when in the moment, in real life, there’s a lot of second guessing and ‘is this really happening?’ and ‘what exactly is happening?’ and ‘is this really what i think it might be?’ And then you don’t want to get it wrong and be jumping to conclusions.

So there’s also a power in my mind of being able to name things? The first time is really shocking and hard, but then suddenly there is this title you can group it under. And maybe you don’t know what to do about “my adoptive father who i love but is sometimes difficult is maybe carrying on a sexual relationship with my not-brother who swears that it isn’t happening and also seems to want to be there, and i don’t want to hurt anyone,” but you probably have a much clearer reaction to “this man is raping children.”

I think it takes a lot from Dick to name it as such--And there’s a reason why that is the moment Alfred snaps. “My employerson who I love has a complicated relationship with his kids” is a lot easier to be willfully ignorant towards.

Finally, the end of the conversation is just Alfred laying out why Dick can’t do anything about it and how no one will help. And also trying to guilt Dick into believing this is for the best. Alfred is happy to have all four of his boys around, and he would prefer that illusion of being whole and happy to losing any of them for the sake of helping the others.

...and, I’ll be honest, that ending explanation is also for me the author to be able to explain it. If you’ve got a purely logical viewpoint here, there’s a question of, like “why doesn’t Dick just ask Diana to use her lasso, or ask a telepath to read Bruce’s mind?” etc etc, and my hope is that it will be clear to everyone that emotion is about a million times more important than rationality when it comes to trauma reactions, and that Dick actually does even have good reason to doubt talking to any of those people would help!

Because the person he trusted most in the world to have his back re: Bruce already knew, and doesn’t want to change anything.

[mittensmorgul]

9.06, Heaven Can't Wait.

YAY! BOBO!

so I neglected to mention Buddy Boyle and Bartholomew the fallen angel, and all the angel factions forming in the 9.03 report because I was trying to get through it as fast as possible, but ugh... guess I gotta mention them eventually. There, I mentioned them, just about as much as this episode did. :P

But this is directly relevant to Cas's current state of mind, which is relevant to the overall plot of this episode, because of Rit Zien angel and why he's come to this town where Cas has tried to make a life for himself as Sales Associate Steve. The Rit Zien seeks out pain-- originally mortal wounds on battlefields-- and either heals or else "humanely puts down" angels he cannot heal. Except, as Cas will explain in this episode, he doesn't understand human emotions, and that emotional pain is temporary... and then we learn that the Rit Zien was drawn to this town by the magnitude of Cas's suffering specifically. Which, if that's not a statement on Cas's current emotional state, I don't know what is.

The first victim we see is a man who literally hangs up on a suicide prevention hotline because he lost his wife. He even has a gun, but changes his mind when faced with the Rit Zien, but he gets exploded into pink goo anyway.

The next is a high school girl suffering a normal level of teenage angst, telling a friend she could just die of embarrassment because her boyfriend broke up with her in the cafeteria in front of everyone but in no way meaning it literally, and poof... pain disintegrated.

Despite his own pain having been kicked out of the bunker and feeling completely abandoned by Dean, Cas still calls Dean to alert him to the strange cases in town, but tells Dean he won't participate in the hunt. Dean manages to track Cas down working at the Gas N Sip anyway (Cas never told him where he worked), and pulls Cas into working the case with him.

There's the whole Nora thing, which Cas thought was a date but was actually a babysitting job... When the Rit Zien shows up for Cas, he thinks it's for the baby, running a fever and crying. But he's actually there for Cas.

CASTIEL: How'd you find me? EPHRAIM: Because you're warded? The same way I find all my patients – I just followed the sound of your pain. You have no idea how loud it is. I could hear you for miles.

And then the question we've been waiting on an answer for ever since:

EPHRAIM: Shh-shh-shhh. It'll be over soon. I'll take the pain away. CASTIEL: I want to live. EPHRAIM: But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

Because back in s9, this question remains directly tied to PAIN. To SUFFERING.

CASTIEL (to the baby): Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just … shoved out kicking and screaming into this human life, without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels, or why this confusion, which feels like it's … a hair's breadth (The baby stops crying.) from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand, it'll turn out you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all. Guess that's just how it is when you're new at this.

He thought he understood, and he's only just beginning to truly understand (and I mean, Crowley as almost-human this season too, despite having been human originally long ago, still suffers with the burden of human emotions, equating what demons and angels are capable of feeling even way back here, long before 10.03 when Cas will make that same comparison).

Cas is feeling the guilt of what's happened to the angels, and he's already hurting over it. So when Sam and Kevin discover (with Crowley's help) that the angel fall spell is irreversible, Dean doesn't tell Cas that fact thinking he's protecting Cas from even worse guilt. But meanwhile, it's still a major source of Cas's pain (and Dean's pain, because hell if he doesn't want to bring Cas back to the bunker here, but can't as long as Sam isn't healed enough...)

EVERYBODY'S SUFFERING! Lies all around. Dean specifically tells Sam that he won't be seeing Cas on this hunt, and yet he spends the entire time pretty much with Cas. But also Dean, lying to everyone, trying to manage his mounting lies in the name of protecting (or in the language of 14.08, "not wanting to burden them") or just out of pure FEAR because this situation is officially so far above his pay grade and he can't even talk to ANYONE about how bad it actually is without the whole thing crumbling down around him... and that's not even considering the Fallen Angels Fighting Amongst Themselves situation on top of all his personal shit...

Which interestingly is paralleled in the experiences of young Dean in the flashbacks in the next episode...

spn 9.07, Bad Boys.

Dean's put in a situation way above his pay grade, having been left to "rot" by John after getting in trouble for shoplifting enough for him and Sam to eat while John was off somewhere else on a hunt and Dean had been left in charge again. John had demanded that Dean tell Sam a very different story, one that not only covered Dean's "shame" at having been caught shoplifting and abandoned by John for several months while Sam was "shipped off to Bobby's" (and remember, Sam would've been about 11 years old at the time, ie old enough to have understood the truth of the situation, but maybe not why John refused to get Dean from Sonny's, that to John this was a form of punishment for Dean-- both isolation from everything he's ever known AND forced separation from Sam, like John was punishing him for failing to take care of Sam by isolating him completely...), but also was about John hiding his OWN culpability in any of this happening in the first place. Child abandonment, neglect, the fact he regularly left the boys on their own and disappeared for weeks or months at a time leaving them to fend for themselves on whatever meager sum he left them. Which, I mean, YIIIIIKES.

And this episode was really the start of my "sanitized for sammy" and "the story became the story" tags, of how fundamental to their codependency these small lies have always been, since they were children (and yeah, we saw that going all the way back to s1, with 1.18, 3.08, 4.13... pretty much all the flashback episodes, but this is where Dean gave that calculated deception a name-- "the story became the story.")

We really see the extent of Dean's lifelong struggle with managing all these secrets begins to break down, which exactly parallels his "bigger story arc" issues in early s9. With all that in mind, it's no wonder he breaks and feels his ultimate failure connected with the collapse of the tower of lies that all started with the best of intentions, and just spiraled out of his control. All in the name of protecting his loved ones.

Kinda like Dean trying to keep John's horrific final words from Sam back in s2 (even though that only lasted a few episodes), kinda like Sam hiding the truth back in s4, kinda like Cas hiding the truth in s6. So now they all will have this fun little problem in common (less dumb, less ass...)

But more interesting to me than the actual circumstances of this episode specifically, is how these lies begin to slowly unravel throughout the episode, and how the truth finally coming out affects everything going forward.

First Sam begins to learn the truth about that time, but it's still not really the whole truth. Dean plays it off as his own fault, shrugging the experience off. Sam also can't figure out why Dean's not only kept in touch with Sonny all these years, but also actually told him the truth about the hunting. The deeper truth slowly comes out in bits and pieces. And then there's Robin, who Dean never told the truth to in the past who learns it all in a shocking way... seeing it first-hand.

This had been Dean's one real "escape to normalcy" of the sort that Sam had spent most of his life running away toward (and which Dean's being forced by circumstance now to push Cas toward... let's not forget that the original airing order of these episodes put 9.06 AFTER this episode... which is why I've smooshed the two of these into one way-too-long post). And let's remember that it was only Dean's need to make sure Sam was safe that got him to leave Sonny's and return to John. He talked about his interest in fixing cars in this episode, and he could've had that life if he'd chosen to stay, because Sonny agreed to fight for him if he wanted that.

But even by the end of the episode, Sam only knows part of the truth, and Dean's still trying to protect himself with that tiny shard of a lie:

Sam: You just got lucky? Kind of like you did with this place. I mean, here I was thinking this was the worst part of your life, and it turns out it was the best. Why'd you ever leave? Dean: Never felt right. Sam: Really? Dean: It was two months, Sam, okay? And I couldn't wait to get out of here. I don't know what to tell you. It wasn't me.

And he can't bring himself to burden Sam with the truth, that it was literally Sam himself and his duty to protect him that made him choose to leave.

Then there's Timmy, losing his mother in a fire, Dean thinking it's the "I Clobber Evil" action figure that the mother's ghost is tied to, when in fact it was Timmy himself. Because it's not exactly that Dean sees himself in Timmy-- repeatedly running away from foster homes, clinging to "imaginary friends" -- It's SAM. He talks to Timmy like we have to imagine 16-year-old Dean would've talked to SAM. And doesn't that just say it all here.

And using this “decoder ring” of a couple episodes to help us unravel what happens when these dudes try to protect each other, to “not burden each other” with these sorts of secrets, things almost universally go sideways. Because this is, yes, what Cas was thinking in hiding his deal with the Empty to trade himself for Jack, but it’s also the sort of smaller concerns from each other regarding Jack’s behavior after 14.14. Each of them were worried for Jack, each of them had noticed small things in Jack, but NONE of them wanted to admit the truth to themselves, let alone to each other. Each of them held their tongues, not wanting to worry each other over Jack, or unfairly burden each other for nothing when all they really have are their individual suspicions and no actual concrete evidence that Jack’s soul is actually gone, you know? But the consequences of trying to protect each other are far more grave in s14...