#kind of like when you use qtips

[hedonists]

the reverb in Bad Decisions makes my ears vibrate in the best of ways

[latibulater]

Venture Bros Rewatch notes: Eeney Meeney Miney Magic

I love Rusty's bedroom but do we think that look is a holdover from the last time Jonas remodeled (as it's not dated enough to be 60s when the compound was built) or did Rusty remodel the bedroom as soon as he inherited the master bedroom?

Dean and Hank are playing Ouija is so cute

ENTERING....MR ORPHEUS. He comes OUT of the orphan heart machine (??? why?) and zaps Helper and knocks out Dean and Hank, so Dr. O can disable electronics and also cause instant sleep all with just a single nonverbal look...And his lankiness...his sharp edges...EARLY SEASON ORPHEUS ILU

"His magical Dracula powers" "youre standing there in FLAMES" whoever wrote this scene has a child

"brock is it okay if i cry?" after brock just choked him for waking the bodyguard up too sudden. there is both so much to say yet nothing needs to be said its all there

i can't figure out if you need to go outside to get to orpheus' part of the compound, dean is wearing a jacket over his pjs but no shoes and rusty has his rarely seen bathrobe and slippies

"abandoned arachnid lab" WHAT was GOING ON????

i LOVE the pan-ups for introducing characters

Orpheus was saving Helper........"his feeble mind had perceived what's not possible" this is contributing to my idea that our Helper is like Ben's Helper in that they are uh....not cyborgs exactly but meaty machines

Led zeppelin is pretty much the only music brock listen to during sex

How does Rusty not know Orpheus' name already? He's literally the landlord

"junior college upstate" "fEEL it's evil grip PuUUUUUULL ME BACK IN"

"scuba" "scuba" "scuba"

TRIANA girl of the hour. How is she so well adjusted and normal-acting. I want so badly to see a scene or two of Triana at school. Can she use her magic there? Is she is similar classes as Dermott?

"Single parent eh? Common ground" Rusty is so desperate for a friend as soon as he realizes Orpheus is bit like him he drops all snobbish pretenses

THE QTIP COMMENT. I LAUGH. "a walking reminder of our common shame"

"I saw him kill a guy with sock full of party snaps" okay but then doesn't in the next episode Dean get confused about Brock killing people at all? The whole body bags were sleeping bags bit? More evidence of mind erasure

"I'm kind of home tutored in a box my pop made. it sometimes gets very hot in the box. that my pop made" "wow that's kinda screwy" this is the entire moment of what made Triana hang out with dean and her bemusement tolerance and at the end (before prom) fondness

Brock fixing Helper is soooooooo sexy i wish i could chew on his forearms like a rawhide bone

Hank seeing an endless expanse of nature with Rusty wanting to spend time with him, contrasted then by Brock actually being the one present to get Hank out of the way

"we two doctor dads" LITERALLY RUSTY STOP he's got an instant crush and he is just so thrilled to have someone to hang out with. okay with the message O leaves for Triana who just left for school, but at the end she gets bored waiting for her dad at dinner. they seriously spend all day at rusty's lab?

"dont think i didnt notice the neon appointments" GAY BOYS

Rusty acting like an overly typical irate father, he was so channeling jonas trying to impress the only other single father he's ever met

BROCK WITH THE PULLED BACK HAIR MEOW

"i DARE you to make less sense!"

Orpheus just pulled...a singular cupcake with pink frosting out of an upper cabinet....why do the Ventures live like this. 4 boys and a robot.

okay but the whole kitchen scene is so funny and really contrasting rusty and orpheus' character designs, in s1 orpheus really is all long lines and huge blocky black cloak, compared to rusty's tiny little frame, honestly we need more ...(rustyxorpheus=.....thapheus?) of this. the way rusty asks if he wants another brew "kaey"

hank's impression of their dad is hilarious

"the beast hungers for them...i just dont get how they can get the door open"

Orpheus commands the open "by the crimson name of lord balayseeta(?) i command you to open" and shit really DOES open for like a mile around and in-universe implications are that somehow Rusty has created this deeply magic resistant bio-engineered machine

the whole play by play about the orphan heart...........it was probably a clone of hank or dean....

marco

POLO

mAARRRRCO

polo polo!

m a r c o

POLO

Brock sitting down to hug Dean for feeling bad that is so sweet.

True love seems to be flimsy yet real and based upon chemicals, so could be the person they love most who makes their brainvlight up most when they see them

the way Orpheus stretches out his hands and launches it at the joycan to go into hell. he can just send shit to hell if he wants. and he can NOT go to hell or traverse, but he punches one way tickets.

i LOOOOOOOOOVE this episode truly 9/10

[tsunflowers]

idk if anyone told you, but the skin coming out isnt anything to worry about! It's just stuff thats stuck past the wax. Even the inner ear sheds skin, and if it cant escape the wax coat then its like. :( but it DOES get a little sore/itchy so thats probably why they're telling you. (also if youre using qtips to clean your ears at all please Do Not. the cotton gets stuck and it mostly just pushes the wax further down to make a plug)

they didn't explain it like that to me so I really had the impression that it was going to tear the skin from my ear and I would be bleeding. which I was kind of looking forward to bc it would be like in a scifi movie when someone gets mental overload from their psychic powers or whatever and starts bleeding from every orifice

[mrs--edge]

Everything you have described in your blog is exactly what my wife and I are trying to achieve, right down to the use of your vixskin .

Self control not to masturbate is my #1 problem as any of the cages i have selected leaves ample room to vibrate myself to orgasm and the smaller I went eliminated this but the skin pushes between the openings and rubs the fabric while I work and becomes very uncomfortably chaffed. I love the recommendation of the A272 and subsequent A271.

How often have you found that complete removal is necessary to clean properly?

Do you use a restraint belt to hold it close to your body during night erections?

Last question

What did you choose or what do you use to Mount your vixskin… briefs or harness?

Hi, @that-tom-allen here. Mrs Edge asked me to jump in to answer these questions.

No cage is immune to vibrations. Even some owners of those expensive full metal underwear belts have reported being able to manage some kind of orgasm with a strong vibrator, or even the washing machine. And note that I regularly have orgasms in my cage. The cages make things difficult, but not impossible. A certain amount of will power continues to remain a factor.

Like you, I can not wear cages with the ring designs because my skin will swell out between the bars. The A272 (and A271) are solid tubes, which I found to be comfortable.

I rarely need mind fully removed for cleaning, but that's because I've been doing this for a long time. For newbs, I'd suggest a weekly cleaning until you really get accustomed to full time wearing. I have some little brushes that I use to get inside and clean the cage & seams, and in the shower, I push some soapy water into the back of the cage with my finger and rub around what I can. When I get up in the morning, I use a qtip to smear a dab of hand lotion around the inside to help keep things clean and easy to move around for a urinal during the day.

I do not need a harness to hold it close to my body. I do, however, wear old fashioned white briefs, and generally work in jeans most days.

For the harness, we have been very happy with a minimalist Terra Firma Dee, available from www.stockroom.com. Good online service.

[atelierpleiades]

eye making process! the hazel ones turned out Great, not so much the other ones imo haha

mix fimo and alcohol ink to tint clay for a base

put into eye well (less than you might think) and shape, you can either fill with more clay and detail with an exacto knife or just cover the well in a thin layer and smooth with rubbing alcohol using a qtip depending on the eye style you want

colour with pigments (soft pastels, pearl powder, etc.) -- don’t use too much pigment because it’ll float into the resin, and tamp down lightly with the brush. you can also use foil in small flakes but make sure to also press those into the clay!

add your pupils -- you can use pretty much anything but what I used are 2mm black no-hole beads, 1.5mm pointed back rhinestones, flatback rhinestones (the clear resin will flatten any refraction you get with these and you’ll get a metal disc kind of look) and nail art items

add your resin and cure. don’t add too much resin at once and pop any bubbles you see (but you might still get some, especially if there was any air trapped under the pupil item when you’re doing a detailed filled eyewell type iris)

these are (mcelroy voice) a mess, in terms of the doming i did, there’s also some small bubbles in there, dust particles, etc, but the thing is you can’t really see it once it’s in use!!! so!!!!!! if you mess up it’s fine, you probably won’t be able to see it much anyways unless you mess up Big like in the middle row of the in-use photos

[trashlie]

The Asshole With a Heart of Gold: Kousuke Subverted

(I have also posted this to reddit but for the sake of having things organized in one place, I thought I’d drop this here.)

To me, one of the most fascinating aspects of the writing of I Love Yoo is the desconstruction and subversion of common tropes in shoujo manga and kdramas - especially those regarding love triangles. In one of her curiouscat responses, quim noted "Even though I admit Kousuke's creation had a lot to do with the way I thought during my teenage years, them being like your typical 1st and 2nd male leads in most shoujo manga is not a coincidence" and I gotta be real with you guys: this thought hasn't stopped haunting me. I love tropes and I love even more when writers play with them, whether they are blatantly using them or subverting them. My favorite one to think about these days is how Kousuke is set up as your standard jerk with a heart of gold, partly in particular because I find it fascinating to see how he went from a very popular, typical "first lead" type character who so many fans openly loved to one who is very scorned right now, but mostly because this is a trope I've never enjoyed, yet quim breathes into it so much realism and personality that the subversion just works.

Please note, I am not suggesting that Kousuke is a first or second lead. In fact, I don't think of either Kousuke or Nol as that. However, for the purpose of this writing, I am considering him as if he were a first lead, based on what quim wrote in cc.

The Jerk With a Heart of Gold

In many pieces of media with a love triangle, there is, quite often, a jerk with a heart of gold. Though not required, he's often rich and privileged, and he has not experienced the same kind of lifestyle as our MC love interest. Especially when the jerk with a heart of gold is rich, our MC LI tends to be from a much lower class - a classic pauper and the prince. We even see this played with, wherein Kousuke hasn't eaten things like street food or god forbid a hamburger without a fork and knife - he's not an animal! However, even early on, quim is fast to play with this: yes Kousuke is privileged, but it's not that his privilege has denied him simple peasant experiences. He just finds these foods unsanitary and prefers his more gourmet options xD

The jerk with a heart of gold is, usually, cold to most people (especially those of the opposite sex) and has no interest in people he deems beneath him. He can even be haughty, as well as unreachable, someone so far removed from normalcy that the plights of the wee peasants does not phase him. In the beginning, Kousuke is played quite straight to this - he goes as far as to trip Shinae over a piece of tiramisu and calls her a fat ass, insults her "cheap clothes", and implies that he is well above her; on a number of occasions he refers to Shinae's social class beneath him. We also almost immediately get to see the heart of gold - initially Kousuke seems to care about his brother, going as far as to want to thank to Shinae in some form. Even though he ends up at the mall with her due to a prank phone call gone awry, he's still witness Shinae's altercation with the mother of a child bully throwing her drink at Shinae, and secretly reports the incident to security and provides her a new t-shirt (and qtips lol). How sweet, the audience swooned. Look, he cares!

What quim does really well with her storytelling and use of tropes, though, is that we learn fast that not everything is what it seems: Nol isn't a happy go-lucky second lead, Yui isn't the mother she seems, romantic scenes may not be that, and Kousuke is not simply a misunderstood tsundere. As the story reveals more information and we learn more about the characters, we see how they play into or subvert their respective tropes.

Misunderstood Jerk

Often the jerk with the heart of gold is either misunderstood or protecting himself from a past pain - usually both. Something - often family - prevents him from opening up his heart, and it's only our resilient, plucky, MC LI who can thaw his heart and help him love. Or maybe she inspires him to live better, teaches him that life is worth living, yadda yadda. One way or the other, something about the MC sparks something in the jerk with the heart of the gold, and his grumpiness falls away (at least, around her it does).

Initially, Kousuke certainly seems misunderstood, and to some degree, he follows the trope. He does come from a troubled family who is the reason he has become the person he has. But rather than a watered down version of this trope for the sake of drama, Kousuke is wonderfully developed, in all his persnicketty assholery. (Please note I say this with tongue in cheek; it cannot be denied that Kousuke can be a jerk and, at times, an asshole. This is not trashing a character but discussing his traits, and why those traits exist and how they serve to play with or against this trope.) I really appreciate the depth quimchee puts into her characters - it's easy to write a character who is a jerk without reason, who enjoys being mean but suddenly changes. But how are readers supposed to see the importance of his change when it doesn't make sense to us?

Kousuke is the product of his environment and how he was raised. In a home that had little to no affection, where Kousuke was pampered, his mother manipulated him onto a one-track path to Rand emulation. From a young age, he was made to believe the only thing that mattered in his life was to become his father, a "very important man" too busy to be bothered, with whom Kousuke never developed any bonds. His childhood was beyond pragmatic, and by missing out on crucial moments playing with other children, we find that Kousuke didn't properly develop empathy, did not learn to deal with complex emotions, did not learn healthy conflict resolution, and suffered stunted emotional IQ as an adult. In so many cases, our jerk with the heart of gold is simply an emotion hungry, attention-starved guy who made himself feel he was better than others so he didn't have to face his feelings. Kousuke is a grander scale of this - he is attention starved (for Rand's attention), he is emotionally constipated, but because we've seen his background and how he developed these traits, it will make it more satisfying when he inevitably undergoes his eventual Much Needed Character Development. Kousuke is not simply an empty vessel for a popular trope - he embodies it in such a way that gives it more life. He owns it.

Kousuke is not simply misunderstood or "just needs a friend": he is man who (like everyone else in this story lmao) is in a great need of therapy to work through his issues. Unlike in shoujo or kdramas, it's not enough to fall in love with this man and expect him to change. Quim takes the trope and applies realism to it. Love does not heal all wounds.

A Heart of Gold

The heart of gold aspect of this trope can be played with in many different ways. Sometimes, he is simply a tsundere who is not good at expressing his more vulnerable emotions, and possesses a softer side than his prickly appearance reveals. We know, though, that Kousuke's core is just as prickly as his surface - a fun subversion on quimchee's part. Other times, he reveals his heart of gold when he can't help but grow soft towards the MC LI, who, for some reason, makes him feel unlike anyone else has made him feel, who can get through his hard exterior, who makes him feel vulnerable. In these cases, he is often of the variety who is mean to everyone but the one girl he secretly likes.

Again, early in the story, quimchee makes us think that's what we're playing at. Kousuke seems to us as readers as having taken interest in Shinae, the rough around the edges, unrefined, uncouth mess that he's tangled his path with. In fact, it is further implied when Yui Hirahara enters the stage and heavily implies that Kousuke is interested in Shinae. "The only girl he's really spoken of? But soft! It must be love, for our jerk has revealed his heart of gold and fallen for our sweet damsel!" This is a detail I find incredibly fascinating, because it only starts to make sense further into the story, or after completing a recent reread.

For so long, if we take Yui's words and Kousuke's actions at face value, it is easy to think that the gears of a ship to come have start spinning, and readers even start to read into scenes as plaintively romantic. A good example of this is the scene where Kousuke sees Shinae in just his work shirt after she has been tricked into wearing it like a shirtdress. We see Kousuke hide his face and blush, and Yui teases that he's having lewd thoughts, but like with most things in this story, there is more than at the surface. In time as readers we come to realize there is a different in how blushes are drawn: with and without pink. After rereads, it's plainer to see that Kousuke isn't flustered or blushing - he's embarrassed of this situation, likely for himself AND for Shinae, but it hardly reads as romantic so much as embarrassed by a meddlesome mother who is trying to get a rise out of him and putting a teenage girl in an uncomfortable situation.

A reread after episodes 142 and 143, though, reveals that it is much more likely that Kousuke's interest in Shinae has never been romantic, but rather, has always been related to Nol (initially in his realization that he could use Shinae to pacify Nol and also because we realize he sees in Shinae Nol). Moments like Shinae buying a slice of Kousuke's favorite cheescake evoke a memory of Nol, not because he's simply reminiscing, but it's an act that echoes the actions of his younger brother years before. It is easy to construe Kousuke's behavior as something romantic - he's trying to help her get ahead in life, trying to make the best of her opportunity, etc etc - but after realizing that Shinae is, as someone on reddit put it, a mirror to the way Kousuke has treated Nol, it creates a fascinating debunking of the "jerk with a heart of gold" love interest. Kousuke's heart of gold has nothing to do with with falling in love, but with someone who makes him face his remorse and deep-buried guilt in the face of his brother.

This is probably my favorite way quim has played with this trope, and how she takes something so incredibly popular in most love triangles and flips it around. At surface-level, it's played straight, but the more we delve into it, and into Kousuke's personality, the more we learn that the trope is not utilized in the typical fashion. It makes both for satisfying rereads of this story, and incredible development. There is something I find very satisfying about the way characters are set up as standard tropes, and then they are turned into something far more dynamic. Of course, on the flip side, we have seen that in doing this, it really changes the views people hold of characters (of which I'm certain is quim's intentions). People who love the cold characters with a soft interior, who find the happy "second leads" to be boring and insufferable, cleave to Kousuke from the getgo. We watch the way he treats Shinae, all his seemingly sweet or kind moments that maybe, just maybe are a sign - only in time to get a better grasp of his personality, his past, and the realizations that Shinae represents the guilt he wishes to assuage, and the past sins he wants to be absolved from, but cannot yet face.

Subversion

At the end of the day, I can only speculate, and I am biased by my own opinions. At this point in the story, Shinae is still a minor and Kousuke is an adult, therefore it makes no sense to show any romance between them. However, I still can't help but feel that the subversion of this trope - that Kousuke is not so much a jerk with a heart of gold but a jerk with a whole lot of baggage to be unpacked in therapy, whose heart of gold extends to someone who reminds him of the damage he has caused - is not a love interest, as is typical of this trope. I can't help but feel like the set up was deliberately done as a commentary about what we tend to expect vs what is reality (as in, what you see is not what you get and everything is always deeper than it looks). I feel like the deliberate set up of these two in traditional "roles" was purposefully to throw us off. Readers come into the story with expectations and we start reading the story we want to read - whether it's seeing romance in the tiniest interactions, whether it's overlooking certain flaws in characters, overlooking certain personality tones. Kousuke isn't the only character that this is done with, but with him, I find it especially fascinating, because he is constructed in a way to make lovers of this trope cleave to him, only for reveals of his past and his behavior to cause some to pull away. And THAT is what I find fascinating - the way the set up of the story vs the reveals change the ways people read the characters and what they think of them. We've seen this with those who come around to love Nol, those who once enjoyed Yui but come to loathe her, the way readers view Maya, etc. etc.

In most cases, the jerk with a heard of gold is easy to sympathize with and even forgive. He's so cold and cruel, but it's only because he needed love/his family was so awful/he didn't know how to reach out/whatever other justification there is for him. But Kousuke isn't justified. We understand why he is the way he is and we understand what caused him to become what he did but the story never excuses his behavior. He is called out time and time again - by Shinae, by Nol, even by Hansuke - for how he treats people, how he behaves, the way he treated Nol growing up. Unlike the jerk with the heart of gold, readers hold Kousuke accountable for his behavior, and it's what will make his eventual Much Needed Character Development so satisfying to us - that we have come to learn about him and see him at his worst and it makes us want to see him become better - whether it's because you're a fan of him who knows he's capable of change or you are livid with him and want to see him acknowledge his mistakes.

It really cements my current theory that as far as Shinae's relationship with Kousuke goes, in a sense of subversion, it IS about helping Kousuke to learn to face his faults, though not necessarily through Kousuke falling in love and wanting to become a better person for her, but rather, by seeing Nol in her and desperately trying to do better. I don't think Kousuke is likely to change as a person any time soon - not until he has some kind of event to serve as a catalyst for change. Crumbling under the pressure of a job he's not yet prepared for? Stress? A reveal that shows Shinae the things he tries to hide and the loss of her respect? Whatever the case, I fully expect Shinae's involvement in whatever breaks Kousuke and leads him to finally addressing the things he hides from himself, and undergoing character development. He's already lost Nol. If Shinae is his second chance and he loses her, too, I think THAT will be a good spark for him to finally start facing the realities he hides from.

I won't go into it here because this is such a long post already, but similarly, Nol is placed in the stereotypical "second lead" role, a character type who is often earnest, respectful, understanding, sweet, and bound to break your heart. But like with Kousuke, this trope is subverted. The second lead boy is so often what you see is what you get, someone with his heart on his sleeves, and instead, we learn that Yeonggi is, in fact, deeply troubled and desperately lonely, a desperate facade. I just really appreciate how these tropes create a set up and expectations for us as readers, and over the course of the story, completely throws our expectations away.

Tropes are so fun in stories, but especially so when they are played with to enrich the stories. If you made it all the way through, congrats lol! 

[2021fuckitup]

“ WE GET HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS”

Helpful hints for newborn to old fuckers...

Why A Torch Lighter Is Ideal:-Your product liquifies, then smokes, almost instantly

-It is MUCH easier to control the direction the meth flows, as well as what is receiving heat

-You can get MUCH bigger hits

-You can avoid burning it so much easier than with other flames

-No flickering flame

-Butane refills are cheap as fucking shit (I got a hairspray-sized bottle of Zippo butane for the price of 2 disposable lighters)

-Don’t burn your thumb as much

-Sessions can be initiated and/or finished faster

Downsides-If you don’t pay attention, you can burn the shit out of your product, or yourself. BE CAREFUL, PAY ATTENTION, AND BE PATIENT

-Smoke through your stash quicker

-Possibly worse burns because its hotter than a bic

How to smoke meth with torch lighter for beginners:

1)First ensure that your pipe is clean.

Why?

For the ice to smoke properly. DO NOT load fresh product in a pipe with product that has been smoked, burned, or otherwise heated. If you load fresh on top of a still smokable bowl, the new and old will melt/smoke at different speeds/temperatures (can’t remember which is which right now, but I think old smokes faster), ensuing that it is very difficult to evenly heat the product. Then you get spots where part of the crystalized mass liquifies and will move with the flame, but some of it needs more heat, and for me at least, some always gets burned or darkened, and has a bad taste. If you load fresh product in a pipe with burnt shit in there, IT WILL TASTE LIKE SHIT. It will often also not melt/smoke right, AND your new stuff will taste like burnt stuff, which is THE WORST taste in the world (IM0). (FYI-I’ve heard that blowing cigarette smoke through a oil pipe (like you were going to hit it, but exhaling smoke through it instead) removes the taste. I have tried with pot smoke and it didn’t work, but have read many people say that cigarettes work.

How to Clean the Inside of A Pipe-If it is not clean, a very easy method is to fill a microwavable container (like a coffee mug) with 50% water, 50% bleach, and put the pipe (bowl facing downwards) in the water.

-Put it in the microwave for 4 minutes (yes, seriously that long-I tried after 1, 2, and 3 minutes and it didn’t work. May even take 5.)

-Let cool. Once cooled, remove from mug and drain all water.

-Using Q-tips, insert through carb hole and “mop up” the stuff left in the bowl. This may take several qtips depending on the bowl. If there is still black/brown stuff in the bowl, apply more pressure

(be careful not to break the bowl by pressing the q tip too hard on the sphere, OR accidentally pressing on the side of the carb when trying to reach around inside with q tip.) If there is still stuff in there, I have read that small bits of Magic Eraser stuffed in, and manipulated with a pole (like a q tip) work wonders, but also have not tried.

How to Clean the Outside of a PiPE

-Using a wet rag, or balled-up wet paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc, rub the outside of the bowl. This should cause the stuff on the outside to transfer onto the paper.

-If this doesn’t work, steel wool may work.

Handling/Prepping Product

-Dont handle meth by hand. It’s bad for your skin, and little amounts will dissolve. Instead, use:

Ideally: a 7/11 straw (this is a straw whose last inch or so is a scoop, sometimes used for slurpees or w/e those frozen drinks are; these straws I have found to be ideal for handling all sorts of drugs).

Realistically: Normal Straw: Straw been sealed on one end (tape, seal it with flame), and on the other has a 45 degree angle (45 degree is diagonal; if you cut a square in half diagonally, the diagonal line is 45). This allows you to scoop small fragments out of a bag, tin, or other carrying device easily, as the angled mouth scoops up crumbs, especially in corners of bags; while the sealed back prevents any from accidentally spilling.

Size/Shape

-Make sure your product is all of the same consistency. I find it best to use one crystal, preferably large (but not to large). I find the size of a tic tac, or slightly larger, to be ideal. Also, cubic or rectangular is best possible shape IME. I will often break long, skinny crystals because they dont burn as well as more square ones, and broken into small squares, they will smoke more evenly.

-While you can load bigger crystals with smaller bits/shake, I generally find it is best to load similar sized rocks. That is, load all shake, load two or three crystals of equal size, or put one crystal in there (usually a big one).

-If you need to break a crystal into smaller bits to make equal sized crystals (or to make odd shaped crystal more square), place a sanitary, nonabsorbent material on top of/around the crystal (no dollars bills here, printer paper works great.) and either snap it in two, or push against a surface. If pressing, you can use a finger, debit card, whatever, just slowly apply more pressure so you can crush to consistency of your liking. If you crush it all the way, you have shake(aka powder).

Differences Between Methods

Single Crystal (often large): Crystal will slowly lose mass as it melts, evenly becoming a pool (as long as you thoroughly spread it around the bowl).

Multiple Little Ones: If you evenly heat them: Will slowly melt into each other. Will be left with a very spread-out puddle, possibly multiple spread out ones.

If unevenly heated: There will be areas meth of varying thickness, accompanied by uneven melting and probable darkening/burning,.

Shake: Will liquify very quickly; little bits that haven’t yet been heated may go to weird parts of the bowl when you begin twisting, so you end up with tiny blotches and a single large or a few smaller puddles.

Loading Product

-Using straw, scoop your product into the chamber. Keeping upright, grab oil pipe and tilt at an angle so that the carb is pointing sideways, or angled down slightly. This will allow you to insert straw opening into carb before tipping the straw, ensuring you don’t miss the hole and lose any.

-Once inserted, twist pipe (while holding onto straw of course) until carb is once again pointing up. Tap straw to get all the little bits into the pipe (if meth is still sticking, use a scraper of some kind).

-Remove straw, and put pipe on level surface, BETWEEN TWO OBJECTS. THE PIPE WILL ROLL PEOPLE, AND WILL SPILL ALL YOUR GODDAMN PRODUCT AND/OR FALL ON THE FLOOR AND BREAK. UGH!

Now that you have a loaded pipe, ensure that you are ready to begin. Suggestions include

-Water

(lots of it!!) Both meth and smoking dehydrate you, and the more dehydrated you are, the more you will suffer from dental damage and brain damage (neurotoxicity). A large amount of methamphetamine neurotoxicity (and most dopamine toxicity) is temperature-dependent, as it often induces hyperthermia (This is similar to MDMA, aka XTC, Molly, rolls, etc). Water cools your body.

You should be urinating with irritating frequency, and should be voiding clear urine, otherwise you are already dehydrated (unless taking assloads of vitamins or something).

-Music

I can’t even describe how much music enhances the experience of smoking meth. It synergizes well-the meth makes the music sound insane, and in turn the music intensifies the high, making me feel even more intelligent/strong/attractive/cool/special. This is the part of the high I crave, and it rarely occurs (at least with the intensity I like) without music.

-Spare lighter/butane refill

When smoking meth, you are always running out of fuel. The spare lighter is also useful because lighters get really hot when ignited for long periods of time (like when smoking meth) and you can swap them out.

-Wet (but not sopping) rag or bundled tissues/paper towels/toilet paper/etc

This is to set the pipe on when not using it (a hot pipe will burn fabrics, fucking up whatever its on as well as the pipe), and to cool down the pipe after a hit. The pipe stays hot for a while, and if you don’t hit it, drugs are being lost/wasted. If you cool the pipe, it will stop heating the drugs faster (duh). Do not do this immediately after getting the pipe really hot-heat and cold on glass can break it. Wait for it to cool slightly, then use it.

When you use the rag to cool underneath liquified dope, it will emit a lot of smoke while crystalizing I read somewhere that the meth actually vaporizes/produces smoke when it hits cooler surface, but I don’t know the validity of that. I do know that cold makes it smoke more though.

-Salt Water

Swishing and gargling salt water while smoking meth (ie after a hit, and definitely after a session) will help prevent canker sores, help kill bacteria (which will inhibit meth mouth) clear mucus in back of throat (which will build up from smoking ice, and may possibly absorb some of it), and prevent sore throat. Its really easy-just add table salt to water (not too much). Some people say to use hot water, but there is more bacteria in hot water pipes, so I use cold.

-Biotene Products

These are oral healthcare products designed to combat dry mouth. There is an oral gel that you kind of spread in your mouth and coats it to act like a artificial saliva. It tastes kinda bad (not awful) and feels weird, but it beats dry/cracking skin, and is good for oral health. They also make alcohol-free (alcohol makes dry mouth worse) mouthwash that I find makes me produce a bnch of saliva for like 10-30 minutes, which can be helpful. They have toothpaste, but that is only to not irritate dry mouth. Finally, they have oral mouthspray, which is apparently the best, but I have not tried yet.

-Weed

Weed makes meth smoking more fun I find. Its hard to describe. Go slow as you may have negative anxiety reaction

Positioning:

The pipe will need to be twisted back and forth, so for me, I hold it in the middle of the stem between my middle finger and thumb. This allows me to easily roll the pipe back and forth. The carb is facing the sky/ceiling, and I have the pipe slanted, so the bowl is slightly closer to the floor than the mouthpiece. This allows me to put my index finger over the mouthpiece. so that when I first heat up the bowl all the initial smoke (that you will not yet inhale because it is not super thick and you want to build up a good hit) goes up the stem and is trapped by my finger rather than out through the little carb hole (which it will do when the stem is filled with smoke). Finally, it also allows me to use my pinky to cover the carb (I rarely do this because often the carb is hot).

Lighter

[Torch] Lighter is held in the other hand, underneath the dope in the bowl. Adjust your flame to lowest setting (if you can). While initially hitting the bowl, since your mouth is not on the mouthpiece, you can hold the pipe in front of you while you heat to gaug distance between flame and bowl, and make sure the flame is under the drugs. However, once you begin inhaling, you have a much worse view (through the bowl), and it is easy to hold the lighter too close (or far, but usually close), or to have it not even under the bowl. Due to poor depth perception (which I assume is from the drugs), or some visual warping from the curvature of the glass, its really easy to do this, and happens a lot. A mirror is helpful so you can see yourself. Another option is attaching flexible tubing (like aquarium tubing) to the mouthpiece so you can inhale through that while holding the pipe in front of you. This will also enable you to make meth bongs (search it).

Philosophy of Smoking Meth

Meth becomes a clear liquid when heated, then vaporizes into a white smoke. The idea is to heat whatever you placei n the pipe evenly so that it all melts down to liquid, then, by twisting the pipe, spread the liquid all around the bowl, so that it doesn’t stay in a hot place for too long and burn. Once liquified, the pipe can be twisted. This allows you to put your flame ahead of the liquid (think of the liquid chasing the flame), so that once the glass is heated, it will fall/roll down the curve towards your lighter and smoke. As you get close carb, you begin to twist the other way, keeping the liquid following your flame. However, with a torch lighter, you can soon twist the pipe without the flame and the liquid will still run for a while, and when it doesn’t is when you reapply the flame.

Quick Info On Torch Lighters

Torch lighters are very hot, much hotter than bics. Their flame is much more intense, and the heat above is much hotter than a bic. Therefore, you must keep much more distance between your lighter and pipe than with a bic. It will vary according to lighter type, pipe thickness, and especially flame size; but my flame is maybe between 1/3 and ½ of an inch, and my lighter stays 1-3 inches away from the pipe; with me increasing distance the longer its lit.

-Also, you do not heat the bowl with a torch lighter for long periods of time like you do a bic. Once it begins to smoke, quit using the lighter, and only reapply once the liquid quits moving when you twist the pipe. Also, be sure to twist pipe while lighting the whole time with a torch lighter, even if it is slowly. You cannot really get away with heating in one spot for a short period of time like you can with a bic.

Smoking

Premelt:

-Keeping your flame 1-2 inches below the bowl, roll flame in a circle around the perimeter of your product, so the outermost portion begins to liquify. Remember to continue moving the flame.

-As it begins to liquify, begin twisting the pipe back and forth. You want to heat the edges of the product and then the glass adjacent to the edges to make it flow there. However, when reversing the direction of the twist, make sure to heat the inside/middle for a moment as well so that it will melt once the dope bordering it has melted.

-Eventually you will have a puddle of liquid that is mobile-stop heating! COntinue to twist the pipe to spread the stuff around and wait for it to recrystalize (turn back into a liquid). You can speed this up by touching pipe with damp rag/paper towels/etc, but I like to let it cool by itself the first time. Wait for the pipe to cool down-its worth it.

Smoking

(this is assuming you are covering the mouthpiece and have the pipe angled like I mentioned in positioning)

-Now you should have a thin puddle of clear crystals stuff. Once again, heat with flame around the perimeter (much bigger this time, but it will also melt faster now because its thinner). Once melted, it should soon begin to smoke. Cease lighting once it begins smoking a fair bit and continue to twist.

-Because you have your finger over the mouthpiece and the pipe angled, the hot vapor will travel up the stem, and be trapped. Once vapor begins to emerge out of the carb hole, quickly take your finger off the stem and begin inhaling (do this quick because the stem is filled with vapor).

To Inhale:

You do not need to actually suck most of the time. With the pipe angled, simply forming a seal on the mouthpiece is usually enough, and if you have to inhale, do not suck like smoking. Instead, inhale like you are breathing but VERY slowly/softly. It takes very little pressure and the bigger hit you get, the better IMO.

Reheating

Use the torch for very brief periods of time. Once the liquid is moving and smoking agian, stop. You can also use more, but never use less once its burned.

Finishing your hit:

If your lungs are full and it is still smoking, cover the carb and mouthpiece and continue twisting. I like to hold my hits for 4-8 seconds, some say blow out right away, but I dont like that. You can also use a damp rag or damp paper towels/toilet paper/napkins/etc and wipe the bowl, to cool it down and make the liquid recrystalize faster (dont do this when the bowl is still super hot because it can break it). This will make it smoke a lot for a second so I like to do it while inhaling.

For Experienced Users:I have found the torch lighter to be far superior to the bic. With the bic, I would experience uneven and slow heating/melting. Now, I have almost instantaneous liquification, followed by thick smoke, and as long as I use the torch sparingly, no darkening of product. The trick is to be patient and methodical:

-Use the torch 1-3 inches away from the bowl

-Move it quickly

-“Encourage” the liquid to trael all over the bowl by leading it with the flame

-Use inward swirling movements, especially during the melting phase

-I recommend using single, squareish crystals for this.

[hypnotized-by-your-name91]

I understand it all now and spirit keep opening my eyes more and more. Little by little. Piece by piece. Like I heard that back then that they just wanted me so they can get a new car. I thought I would be nice and go half on the lease because we needed a car.. a better car.. so I did. And I thought it would be okay because she was taking me places… but in the end it just blew up in my face because deep down she seen that as hers and when ever I needed a ride she would kind get irritated… or say it’s ok ask if I need to go but proceed to kind of make a deal out of it… by her actions… her body language… or always find some excuse why she couldn’t take me to work or some shit…. Like umm ok? Why is it a problem I am paying half on car…. And then all of a sudden she lost it because it broke and weeks before I stopped paying half because I really felt like I was being used. It was hers all along it felt.. every one says that actions speak louder than words… sooo when she got another car and I wasn’t paying on it…. She was fine with taking me place but I knew it was going to back fire on me so I never asked her for rides anywhere. Because at the end of the day it was all my fault. I should have had my license and that was a huge problem but I thought getting this new vehicle she would help me with my driving come to find out 3 years later she just said that she was scared and didn’t wanna drive with me… and I wasn’t that bad a of a driver I just needed practice.. I almost feel like she didn’t want to grow and level up in life… that’s how I felt. Maybe I was wrong but that’s the vibe I get. Granted I was bad. I spoke about her at work but she wouldn’t stop being that way and I had to vent. I should have left and did what I did.

Not wasn’t even that… there’s more. She never took the time to see that I was buying a lot of nassetites for the house…. All the time…. Then I started putting my stuff in my room and then she asked to use it and I ignored her. I could have said no but idk… then she came back and said well I got this for both us to use. Ok, great but what about all the other stuff I have bought for us and you never thought to buy it as well when it ran out? I was always replacing almost everything and all she bought were damn QTips not to mention that she felt like i was leaving so she the bought me more soap… then proceeded to ask me if i was moving out…like that one thing of soap was going to change everything. I know the cycle… I was not going to live in that shit. That’s how i seen it all. But idk how she found out we were leaving when I had just found out myself… she’s like how can you do this to me… how could you not have told me… I’m just like we just found out we really weren’t looking…

But again, every thing is kind of my fault and she is victim to everything… lmao. Like no girl. You had your role you played in it. You can’t put it all on me your actions are what pushed me away because it realized it was all about you. And I wasn’t vibing that way. I was done living my life through someone else.. and only doing things when they wanted to or go where ever they wanted too. Yea, very few times we went where I wanted to go. I went to see your mom with you and everything. It’s like I was a decoy so that your family thinks you are a lot better than you were before.. hey, maybe.. idk but everything was fishy…. And your gonna sit back and make me look like that bad guy in all of this when it seems like you planned all of this from the beginning like you never used me.. get outta here…

Stop the fucking films because I only reacted to how you made me feel. I only told people how you made me feel about your actions because you wouldn’t stop… go ahead and react on that and make it seem like you didn’t push me to that point. It may have seemed like I was trying to bully you but I wasn’t I was simply telling people my truth. Maybe the wrong people yeah…. But those same people you called your friends so? Your own little sister said stuff to me that I’d never repeat to anyone but you know everyone lied to go around a repeat what I said about you. Why? Idk. I didn’t care. I had a reason. And same with you.. you had reason but idk I was just trying to live my life. That’s all. You were the one who was shady from the start when I was being helpful. That’s I ever was… was helpful… and I kept getting shot down low to the ground like I never did a thing.. I would never get the same energy in return.

But also said that I shouldn’t let her actions affect mine… how? We work and live together…. Like really 😂😂😂 I laughed inside. Every week it was almost missing work so how doesn’t that effect me and you getting upset that you didn’t asked for much? Lolol ok girl.

I know I do a lot more for dean but I know he loves me and appreciates me. He’s never acted different or always about himself… when I was always acting selfless with you and helping anyway I could. He does a lot for me and I’m so grateful.

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 32

Chapter Selection

I felt the body wrapped around me and it was like how it was a year ago. Us being together... I could feel his normal breathing behind me and I knew he was awake. I tightened my hand around him and squeezed. 

"So now what?", Aarons morning voice echoed into my ear. I didn't know the answer to the question, I wanted him and I assume he wants the same. 

"I don't know", we stayed in bed. We were too afraid to move, having a conversation that could end this before it restarted. 

I knew it had to happen, he sat up against the headboard and pulled the blanket up to cover his body from the cold. 

"What do you want to happen?", I asked him and he moved an arm to my back. Running his fingers up and down my spine. I laid next to him, face to face with his thigh. 

"You." 

That could've meant a lot of things, did he wanna date me again? He took my silence, unsure what I was thinking. 

"Y/n I want you..." Why the change of heart. 

He was adamant about protecting my reputation although that was a year ago. It was my stupid curiosity that brought on these questions but I didn't want to know the answers.

"Do you love me?" He furrowed his brow and used his pointer finger to lift my chin making me look at him. 

"Why is that even a question? Of course." I started pulling at my fingers and trying to keep some of my attention away from him. 

"Last night, when I said 'I love you'... you never said it back." It was dumb but the thought was drowning me. I wanted to hear the words, I needed to. 

To understand that this wasn't going to be a waste of time, that we were both going to put in the same amount of effort. 

"I do though", he continued to stare at me, never tearing his focus. It hurt him to learn I thought he didn't love me. 

"Do you need me to say it?", I slowly looked at him and softly nodded. 

"It'd be nice to hear... I don't want you to be forced to say it if you don't want to." 

He took my hands in his and brought me to his level, eye to eye. 

"It's not that easy, at least for me it's-- difficult. But I do, you have to know that." I felt my body start to crack, he didn't want to admit it or couldn't. People take their time with these kinds of things but I guess I thought that with everything that's happened he'd be able to say it back to me. 

I snuggled closer to him, he put his arm around me putting me into place. I took notice of the outside, guessing it was around 5:30AM. 

"I love you", I murmured into his chest.

"I know", we sat there. Not laying back down, staying where we were not wanting the other to leave our side. We were still tangled up when I went back to sleep in his arms. 

Aaron never regretted anything in his life but our relationship was one thing that he knew he almost ruined.

He didn't want to give me up, not again. He saw that I was sleeping based on my deep breathing and the sight of my heavy eyelids. 

Aaron tried not to move, when he did he tugged me impossibly closer than what I already was. We had work in an hour but he let me sleep. 

Aaron needed me to know that he wasn't walking out on me, that he wasn't going anywhere. 

He let himself fall for me completely, letting his thoughts be covered. But still the three words that held us back- held him back. He needed me to know but saying it wasn't enough. 

Last person he said 'I love you' cheated on him, betrayed their relationship and him. 

Aaron knew I'd never do that to him and yet he made himself believe if he said it something would change. I'd change my feelings and break him in two pieces, that was something he couldn't repair from. 

As I slept I felt the subtle dips in the bed and the shifts. When my eyes opened he was still there, cradling my body. I glanced up at him and his eyes were open, almost red like he'd been trying to sleep. 

"Did you get some rest?", I whispered. 

He shook his head, "No." I stared back at him. A few tears pooled in his eyes, one falling slowly down his cheek. 

"I'm so sorry, for everything and I know I said that last night but there's not enough words to comprehend how I feel right now." 

I sat up further next to him, "Aaron--."

"No... just let me please. I know how you felt, feel. I could see it every time you walked into the room, I knew. That part of you was being left behind every case, every work day. When you saw me I could see it and I did nothing. You knew I was upset but I was in hell. I'm not trying to compare who had it worse... really." 

He matched my position sitting up right on the bed, he took my small hands in his. "I can't lose you, physically, emotionally, mentally, all of it... I can't. Please don't leave me." Aaron finished talking and I didn't realize the streams of tears coating my face. 

Tasting it in my mouth, he reached a hand up and wiped them off my face. I pulled him into me by his waist, our bodies pressing together. 

My head rested on his shoulder and his with mine. I leaned into his ear, "I'm not going to leave you." His arms tightened around me. 

I saw him break, he was in my arms gently crying. Aaron really was a dam that filled and when everything got too much he tried his best to conceal it till it came spilling over. 

When that happened he was clingy, he wanted to be held because all he felt was the raw emotion that he tried his best to hide, with the job and behind his still face. 

Like the hour before when I was sleeping it was now Aaron that was being held. His face was in the crook of my neck, but I needed to wake him so we could leave. 

I lightly shook his body, "Aaron." His eyebrows raised and he moved over to wipe his face with both his hands. 

"Come on", I nudged his side and we stood up. We did our normal routine from before, taking a shower and getting dressed but Aaron didn't have clothes here anymore. As I got on my heels Aaron threw on the clothes he had from the night before. 

We went to the door and walked down the stairs of my apartment building. 

Before we parted ways I tugged on his hand, "I'll see you at work okay." He nodded, "Okay." We went to our cars and drove in different directions, he went home and changed. Putting on light cologne to mask the scent of my shampoo and conditioner. 

I got to the office first and walked into the bullpen. "Morning", I said to Reid who sat next to me. I looked over and I felt Morgan staring at me. "What?" 

His eyes met mine, he grinned and chuckled. "Have fun last night mamas?" Last night? It wasn't exactly ideal but they didn't need to know that. 

This morning I was too caught up in the conversation and what was happening to take the time to cover up. 

A couple of small dark purple hickeys made their appearance, poking out from underneath my blouse. 

I coughed, "You could say that." Some other members of the team made their way over and tried to poke at my social life. 

"Oh this is going to be good... spill", Garcia walked over to my desk and took Reids chair, sitting next to me. 

"Hey that's mi-", she shushed him and he sighed and settled on the edge of the desk.

Hotch walked in unnoticed and he went straight to his office, closing the door behind him. He was still in the raw mood he was in earlier. 

Going behind his desk he started working like nothing happened. A knock on the door broke his concentration, he responded telling the person to 'come in.' 

Emily opened the door and shut it behind her. 

"So?", Hotch dropped his pen and leaned backwards. "After our talk, I went over to her apartment. And as you can tell by the commotion outside I think you can fill in the blanks." 

"But did you actually talk to her, fix things?"

"We're trying again", Emily couldn't help but be happy for us. 

She knew Hotch could never do it on his own, he needed a small push. 

She took a step back towards the office door, holding onto the handle and turning it. 

Before she opened the door she cocked her head to the side, looking at Hotch. "Don't mess this up." 

"I won't", with that Emily shut the heavy door behind her and Hotch continued back to his work. Faintly hearing my voice behind the wall, he was comforted by it. 

......................

Permanent taglist : @qtip-blog @hotch-meeeeeuppppp 

[tracynotabi]

Riptide Day 0-1

So I wasn’t going to record my time in Ohio, just because I forgot to take pictures and we weren’t really mobile, but looking back, there were just too many memories to forget and I just really wanted to share with everyone how much fun this community is, despite the fact that we were canceled.

Most people will be referred to by their names, but I’ll introduce them with their tags first. If you see this and would like your name removed/changed, please let me know.

Also, some of this is not a perfect play-by-play because I am writing purely from memory.

Also, please note, there is degeneracy.

Thursday; September 9, 2021

Starting off the day, Kevin (The Doctor) and I had basically no sleep. We woke up at 7am PDT (read: 6:30am but too lazy to get out of bed) after getting to be around 4-5am mainly because Kevin wanted to hang out with his friends in Discord before he leaves them for the whole weekend. Me? I was just procrastinating on packing.

Joey (Big Large) texts in our group chat that we never got rid of from Emerald City that they’ll be at my place in 10 minutes with Ivan (Ivayne), because they were driving up north from Elk Grove, which is about 20 minutes south of where we live.

The plan was to drive to Robert (PotatoesAreYum)’s place and then make the two hour drive to San Jose, where we would catch our 1:45pm flight.

Why did we do this? Because our tickets were canceled for Blacklisted 6 and we couldn’t get refunds so we only had credits to work from, but apparently, Sacramento Airport did not have available flights to Ohio that were by Alaskan Airlines.

We took off, leaving Sacramento and heading to Davis. Part way through, we get a text from Robert asking how far out we were, because he had to poop, but we were 11 minutes out.

Robert, the descriptive man he is, describes that his poop was ready to crown, so he was good. I thanked him for the visual, because goddamn, I needed another one after getting a Snapchat from Joey the night before of his ass hanging out in jorts.

Robert: At least I didn’t sent a picture like Joey. But if you want a picture, I could send you one. Me: I would cancel your flight.

We end up driving south to Kevin’s brother’s house, where we tried to find a Jack in the Box that was on Google Maps. We spent about five minutes looking for it before ultimately giving up and going to a Hawaiian BBQ/Donut shop. We were just as confounded as you are probably right now. Food was OK.

Kevin’s brother insisted the Jack in the Box was there but for the life of us, we could not find it. He took us to the airport and off we went to Chicago. Yes, they played Smash at the airport, because this is what Smash players do. 

They also played on the flight. Sidenote: there was this very loud cat in the aisle across from me that was meowing like crazy.

Flight from Chicago to Cleveland sucked. It was hot and cramped and they took our baggage away.

We land in Cleveland at about 11pm? Parker (Boringman [Sip Mastah]) was waiting for us at our gate because he had landed an hour before us.

We go down to Ground Transportation to reach our shuttle when I read the little red tag one of the flight attendants gave me. It said that our baggage would be given to us at the end of the flight.

... Well, we had just passed through security and going down the escalator at that point.

Well, fuck.

We run into Washington at baggage claim and I’m panicking because I have no idea if our luggage is going to pop out at baggage claim. Joey, Kevin, and I go up the escalator - the WRONG escalator and we go up a flight too much. We go back down and the airport’s just empty.

Makes sense, it’s 11pm EDT and there’s not a single worker in sight.

Robert texts us saying our luggage popped out and I hate life because the wording on the ticket, I swear, implied it wasn’t going to come out of baggage claim.

We go back down, grab our luggage, say bye to Washington, and head on our to the shuttle wait area.

There, we run into Luke (Yung Quaff) and Will (Twisty) from Massachusetts. Apparently, they had been waiting for the shuttle for over an hour and it was about 11:30pm at this point in time and we’re so tired because we’ve been travelling the whole day and there were people waiting for us to goon with.

We get to the shuttle and it’s an hour to the resort. Crying inside.

We check in and our room is on the other side of the resort from Guttey and Spencer (Mr. Watch and Learn)’s room even though they provided our confirmation number when they got their hotel room. What the hell.

Seeing everyone in that room was so amazing. I can’t remember everyone there exactly, because let me tell you, that room at one point probably had more people than it should have and we most definitely violated some kind of fire hazard.

Friday; September 10, 2021

Twisty ended up staying the night in our room because we had a two bedroom, two bathroom suite with six people. Our suite had a king bed, two queen beds, and a queen pull-out from the couch. Joey and Robert - the two largest people - stayed in the king bed. Kevin and I shared a queen. Ivan had a queen. Parker had a queen. Though I believe the first night, Parker and Ivan shared the queen (?) and Twisty stayed on the pull out.

Twisty barrel-rolled the whole night.

The bed squeaked so much it was insane. I think it only really bothered me, but that was fine because the guys needed their rest more than I did.

Spencer, the god that he is, ended up driving from Long Island to Ohio, and he offered to take us to go get some groceries for his room and us at Meijer.

It seated five, but I don’t really count as a full human size-wise, so I sat at Kevin’s feet, who was sitting in the passenger seat, underneath the dashboard, while Guttey, John (Gluteus), and Luke sat in the back.

Shoutouts to Meijer. Had a ton of awesome stuff.

A bunch of wings and thighs that probably weighed as much as a chicken itself plus 2 Liter Coke for $8.

It was all a blur, but we ended up in the Chad Room at some point - the Presidential Suite, just as crews were starting.

We end up meeting Yuko, who had a very large speaker about the size of me curled up. He ended up making an entrance and there’s a video on Twitter where you can just hear Joe (Qtip) go, “I’m scared.”

Also ran into Zoey (Frost) again. :) Haven’t seen her since she left NorCal. We ended up just talking a bit, catching up, before I think Kevin needed me to go back to our room for a Wii.

I ended up walking entirely back to our room on the other side of the hotel - next to the convention center, getting out Wii, only to find out two things:

1. We didn’t have composite cables. 2. There was no other outlet.

We ended up getting kicked out after Qtip’s team won anyway.

Can’t remember anything else, other than the goon was too hard and too real but if you would like for me to include anything that happened while I was there, let me know! :)

[aerielz]

Here's a lb of the When We All Vote special because I just needed to talk about it I guess?

I mean, it really is just me geeking out about the filmmaking and quoting my favorite lines but be my guest

-----------------------------------------------------

It's always amazing to me how Brad's voice haven't changed at all but he looks like a qtip, it's great.

OH WAIT THIS IS A READ THROUGH. THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO READ THE SCRIPT THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. and smart too.

And it's great because Aaron's earlier scripts read exactly like a play, like, it's really is three lines of stage direction and then just... dialogue all the way down.

Oh God the staging and the direction is so solid damn you Tommy Schlamme. As far as a staging goes this is solid. I mean, the blocking is SO nice??!! And very theater-y! Going minimal was one hell of a good idea, specially considering the time frame. Ugh damn this is a smart production.

"I was thinking how much things change in sixty seconds"

Tell me about it.

The titles! Crying? No I'm not crying you're crying. THIS IS SO PRETTY! I love how they decided to put in moments of the making of, this is a THREAT

I’m gonna screencap the shit out of this episode and cycle the shots as desktop background, it’s decided.

The lines between the act breaks are actually pretty funny and I love the fact that both Eli and Aaron wrote these inserts, because Sorkin is hilarious but then Eli comes with the I Know What I’m Doing with the politics and the speeches are solid.

THE CUTS ARE SMOOTH IN WAYS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE HOW THE FUCK MAN

OKAY I AM SORRY BUT I'M GONNA GO FULL GEEK OVER THE FILMMAKING HERE OKAY just skip to the next bolded line after this one if you don't wanna read about it.

LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THIS SHOW WORKS (as far as craft is concerned):

You have a classic Hollywood filmmaking style for most of the time: smooth and invisible tracking shots in dollys (little carts that push and pull the camera over a track for smooth movement), beautiful close ups and focus racks (when you pull focus on something on the foreground then change it to the background, or vice versa, without cutting) to make use of your entire depth of field. That by itself ties nicely to Aaron's 40's-ish scripts: heavy plot and lots of fast talking require you to keep moving so things don't get boring, but it can’t be overwhelming because the writing is already like ok wow too much; the jokes need that precision in timing, too, it all needs to be like clockwork. And the atmosphere all of that creates is just right too: the precision and the damn fine acting you need to pull this kinda shit off are a testament to the very themes and setting of the show so *chefs kiss*

AND THEN ON TOP OF THIS YOU HAVE THE SMOOTH STEADY-CAM AND THOMAS SCHLAMME PROVES HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. because it's so good. The camera floats through the west wing as if it was a character itself, you’re dropped right in the middle of the action. the way the camera circles the characters puts you in their mindset: things are HAPPENING decisions needs to me made. it’s what’s next in visual form. and it pulls the show right into the 21st century, because it’s such a modern thing, such a technical achievement, to be able to stage and 

THE THING IS, THIS IS A STAGE. THIS IS NOT A FULL SET, like they had back in the day. so the staging needs to make sense and the movements have to be thought out to match the next cut. they blocked the staged to allow for continuous long shots of the more complex sequences but some cuts here are still kinda tricky. this is by no means impressive by Hollywood standards but it’s still not really trivial? might be after you’ve spent 8 years filming like this, but all in all it’s not nothing. 

I talked once about how it’s kinda funny that almost half of the shot/reverse shots (dialogues are usually shot like that: you have once person talking, then the other, and you usually shoot the entire convo one side then the other, and then cut them in together so it makes sense. it’s p much the first thing you learn if you go to film school) are out of focus, and about how it’s prob because the schedule must’ve been insane. but I say this out of sheer respect. you naturally spend more time and effort on set pieces and difficult shots but half of this fucking show is a set piece.

I mean IT’S SO SIMPLE. BUT IT’S SO GOOD. There’s nothing extraordinary going on but it’s so beautiful and so well done and I'm constantly blown away by how much this show does with what ends up being just basic filmmaking.

it really all just comes down to great scripts, great acting, and a handful of techniques to bring it all together. and in this day and age when everything became a desperate and artificial attempt to make the audience respond, that is impressive.

ok I’M SO SO SORRY. end of me geeking out about filmmaking

"DONNA!"

My first reaction to this one single line was omg- I missed this so much. and I’m actually rewatching the whole thing it’s been 0 days since I've heard josh screaming at donna. I can only imagine what it was like for them.

I just don't have words anymore to talk about how much I love this show.

God fucking damnit THE ACTING.

JANEL'S ACTING. THE TINY REACTIONS.

On stage you don't have the realism, you don't have anything to help you believe it so it's SO MUCH CLEARER how GOOD these guys are.

Okay I understand if everyone ends up pissed because this is not at all new material, etc etc, but I GOTTA SAY I AM THROUGHLY ENJOYNG THIS THING. Sorkin writing is made for stage and having the chance to see these guys actually doing it on stage is a blessing if you ask me.

You just know this exchange is gonna become gifs that people will subtitle with whatever else line of dialogue they want and I can't wait for it.

I really want to to back to the episode later and compare the acting (which is kind of a dick move but I'm inconsequential to them they'll never know), because Janel is fucking NAILING young Donna after all this time and this is just insane.

"Give it up, tiny"

that's a bold line when it comes to Allison Janney

"I moved my pawn..."

"Well, it's as popular today as it was back then."

Please please please please tell me the bit about the stuffed animal is true. Please. it’s probably not but I don’t care it’s in my head and it’s not gonna go away

"I think if my dog could pull that off his vote should count."

Oh my God.

"Did Aaron write this?"

Oh my God.

I'm-

"You're a sap?"

"It's called poetry, me bucko."

Can you tell that at some point I stopped thinking and just got really into the show?

"He's not gonna-- that's the other guys! He's not gonna gonna privatize social security. he'll privatize New Hampshire before he privatizes social security."

I remember that this line made me actually stop the episode to laugh back when I first watched it and guess what yep I did it again

UGH.

I really love how this episode ends. I really love the feeling of how Bartlett is pretty much teaching Sam how play the game on a higher level, I love the feeling of ‘oh okay this guys is GOOD we get’. I think a month ago in one of those interviews they were doing to promo the thing Sorkin said people respond to the sigh and sound of competence and he’s absolutely right.

oh, and that ending right there was an definitely an "I have no idea what to do about that" solution, but it wasn't a bad one? it clashes, but it’s not bad at all.

I LIKED IT. I really really really liked it. This was really fun and the only bad part is that we're gonna gonna get to see them just doing everything else too. Like, it ended and i was half expecting to see he next episode but it wasn't there and that was the one disappointment tbh

[flamediel]

ur getting a septum piercing right? I’ve been wanting to get one for the longest time but I’m scared ahh pls tell how it goes !!

Yes I did and I love it!! heres kind of my experience for how it went:

I messaged my piercer a couple of weeks ago asking about what jewellery he had. Look at different styles and figure out what you want and what you think will look good. I wanted a small horseshoe so I waited for him to have those in stock and lmk.

When I went in yesterday it was super chill, the place is incredibly sanitary and he sanitized everything. He cleaned up the inside of my nose w q-tips and used ink (iodine?? Idk science like that) to mark the place he was gonna pierce, then had me see if I liked it.

I had to lay down, and he kept using qtips to kind of massage my nose and figure out the best place to pierce/where to put the clamp. W septums they pierce this thin bit of cartilage between two thicker areas so he had to make sure it was there and that it was straight. He really took his time w this which is good, but just be prepared that it may be a longer process than most other piercings since he can't really see as clearly.

Once he was confident he knew where to pierce he took these clamps and used them to keep my septum in place. This was probably the most painful part, those clamps HURT esp when hes positioning them. Then its the same process as any piercing, use the needle to pierce and then slide the jewellery through and close. It was a little painful, but honestly not bad at all. Dont be too worried about the pain I promise its quick. Then he just cleans up the ink lines w a q-tip and positions the jewellery and youre done! You'll feel a bit of soreness at first and have to get used to not touching it, but its honestly amazing!!

Also can I just say everyone will tell you you'll look weird or your nose isn't the right shape, THATS NOT TRUE. I have a big nose and I love how it looks. And remember, if you don't like it you can take it out, so go for it!! Good luck love, tell me how it goes xx

[lesless]

Life things:

My room mate says he doesn’t want another room mate when we move out because, after living with us & experiencing general peace, after living with others & experiencing drama, he doesn’t want to have to find another drama-free living situation. He wants to live with a partner, or alone. My love says, “don’t do it! Living with a partner is the worst.” We all laugh & I call him an asshole.

5 months after adopting Max he grows bold & brave. He tests his boundaries & nearly gets lost camping when he runs after dogs. He likes the dog park & respects my serious voice & Lana’s boundaries. They both understand that they must wait until I am done doing what I’m doing to receive an excited greeting. I scratch them both in the place under their armpits that makes them kick.

My friends & family confide in me generously & sometimes it is exhausting. I am many peoples rocks in a torrential sea. I am grateful for this respect & value from others. I guard my alone time to recoup in a gentle way. I feel capable, self-informed, & strong.

All of the leaves fall off of the tree out front. My roommate says the light looks different, but we hadn’t yet noticed the tree. In the front yard he says, “oh, I know why the light is different” & points to the tree. We laugh deep.

My old dog is snorty & lumpy & patient. I lament her age & try to do what is best for her. I take her on walks around the block, & camping. The new dog licks her eyes tenderly & she lets him. It brings me joy that she is well loved & knows it. She no longer gets nervous when I’m away.

I never feel as though I am doing enough. I try my best & console myself in the dark. I wish for my younger self to feel this love I now have for myself, in a way I know she feels it, because now I feel it. I am content & buy myself perfume.

My love is handsome & kind. I love him for the latter. You cannot teach a kind heart, & this is why I will love him as long as he lets me. He awakes & tells me he loves me so much. I kiss him when he is near & miss him when he is far. I do my best to love him as I love myself, with attentiveness, discipline, & honesty. He loves me in ways I do not understand, but appreciate. He is from another landscape I will never fully comprehend, but always seek to understand.

I notice my lizard has shed poorly, & give her a warm soak, & take a damp qtip to her shut eye until it is open. She lets me, knowing I only handle her to make her feel better. She looks happy & bright when I set her under the heat lamp & feed her worms. My love says I am kind, but to me, this is what you must do for things in your care. You must care.

The future is ever uncertain & unkind. I brace for it in all the ways I know. I wash sheets & blankets & light candles. I keep tidy. Part of having something is taking care of it. So I do.

I text my old therapist & tell her I am thinking of her, & well, & grateful for her help. She says she has been thinking of me too & is glad I am well. I call my grandmother & she is alone & lonely. I call my friend in Louisiana & it goes to voicemail. I worry for her because she needs surgery. I call my friend who has recovered from illness. She is well & kind of heart. I call my mother & she does not answer. I message my father & he arranges a turkey that I can eat, given my allergies. I feel loved in many ways I do not understand, but appreciate.

I sit alone on the couch in a dark livingroom & feel grateful. I feel sad & forlorn & lament the loves I could not nurture when I was unwell. I think of old friends I miss dearly, but life goes on & I wish the best for them. I think, I must work tomorrow but tonight feels so big & expansive & what am I but a person on this rock. I set a timer for coffee in the morning, because, one must always look out for their future self. I pour a glass of wine, & rest, & look over sleeping dogs & quiet shrimp & a sleey lizard. I am happy.

[shabba-zams]

I'M NO MANIAC

Hold big regard for kinship, tradition and culture, I could give a lecture

I'm sky high - herbivore, like a turkey vulture I'm a carnivore

Canibal, I mean omnivore coz I love greens, like Popeye And Spinach, I lick bean

Flick flick, root Chakra, keep you grounded, kiss your forehead, illumination

Wham bam, burn incense this instant

Smoke in house, reminisce about my late aunt, Eugenia

Healing from a heartbreak of a love that never happened

Should never happen, wait what just happened?

You a bad bitch, downward doggy, hit it from the back, is that good B?

Meow-moo, look at that arch, Doja, Cat-Cow mi amor

Heart's aching, beneath I'm hurting although surface looks perfect

Instantly regretting the mistake I made, egghead getting laid

I was broke, couldn't think straight, Im still great, it's just that I hate

Constantly stressing, hope you not late, I'm Wylin, red fox

Sorry mate, don't put me on the spot unless we hot box

You a hot mess, you burn, guilt trip, in hell I burn, 12 stroke soul snatcher, soul searching,N2O, inhale, I burn, I'm trippin

My goodness, Zulu goddess, Tsonga royalty in her DNA, your highness hello, hi, my love I profess

Pussy power tricking, that tightness, finesse crazy like madness, she drippin

Her cookie jar I'm Double dippin, like yes ya, I praise ya, I'm smitten

You praise Ja, pet name for your small pussy... Poor lil kitten

Obsessed With fitness, admire her loyalty, I stay under her spell

First We gel, then repel, we then rebel, plz say you could not tell I fell for you girl!

I confess, your strange quirks remind me of my old ex

Guardian angel, I see your halo, okay bye! In darkness you my star

Naledi always shine bright, never dim light, eyes can adjust right?

No girl, tell me how could I not fall for you girl?

If I see you all day and night? Medicate then meditate

Last and first light I see you, it's hard to wake me up, ICU

Namaste, send u love and light. Hugging u gud nyt then imma go unless it's midnight, my pants is tight right and u hug me tight tight cutie, in my ear, QTip, u whisper get the light, deep throat  gimme the green light, tonight you looking so tasty

It's not right, lockdown got me all thirsty, see, I'm nasty

I'll eat you out, gimme a big tip, face chair, take a sit please

Gangsta champagne, notorious bubbles I sip sip, are you pleased?

You a tall glass of sexy B, I mean u sassy B, sexy beast I gotta drink, drunk

In love with your positive energy, you love the inner me and you know I'm not the enemy, I love you

Juju, like bad energy, shoo shoo, telling me to go, I don't go

Feeling ur feng shui imbalance, tryinna find balance, yoga

So much green in my blood stream, feelin like Hulk or Yoda

I'm 1 with the force, a gulf stream directing ur flow, go

Heavy flow that weigh a ton, period. I go deep, you flow deep like the Nile, you lovin it

Tid bit in denial, plz don't judge unless you take a 9 mile walk if the shoe fit

Wise mentor, needed to blow off steam, oh no you make me sing, I never meant to...

I'm spiritual, Ultralight beam, living the life of Pablo, green

I see no light, stuck in the dark, this don't feel right

Fight what I feel, fight! I know you like what I write, right? I'm still Steve like Biko, because I write what I like

You're spiritual, Ivy crown it'll be alright, fight!

Where you been? Spiritual journey, Wrote you a song of love, don't panic, it's platonic agape kind

You're kind, im sorry, please forgive me, God bless us

Never meant to sex ya, sext ya, yes ya I never meant to

Hurt ya, my day 1 let me be in your team, I'm your hype man and you my wing man, who knew, man?

I'm a new man, never wanna be in u ma'am, that's Truman, like Harry

Like Harriet, You talk truth ma'am, ur woke now, mental slavery chain breaker

Lead, take leash, give me my freedom, Tubman. Ass like Baartman, I'm joking, I'm through man!

Is it true man? You got a new man?

I'm glad you found uThando & Peace!

I see your glow in the dark , I watch you grow, from head to toe

Lock down, No sexercise, just exercise, oblique workout, body shaping up, you shake shit up

Look down, fvck shit up, I fantasize under the mistletoe, kiss kiss that phat pet peeve,

I mean the size of that cameltoe, kiss kiss like it's NYs Eve

Family Feud like Steve, We lip lock, she bad bad like Eve

Stuck with you like gridlock, bad bitch my ride or die!

The love you show, I dunno who to tell that u just ring my bell

Blue balls, plain torture, ungshaya ding dong, that just rings wrong

Playing mind games like ping pong, saw my dp then ask for my dick pic like "Big Z u got big dick print"

I tell her to quit playin and show her it's just resting, I'm a grower

Picture a Big black gun in your hand, click glock

Lick big black cock in my hand, and get a big tip

Love your big tats,small tits, nip slip, vrm vrm, you own me like pinkslip

4 play lick clit, that pink pink

Big lie like, just the tip, truth is I just wanted to hit twice, then dip twice like, dip dip

Double Pussy grip, like grip grip

Our late night tap dance routine like

Double tap like, tip-clit-grip-grip, skip, tip-clit-grip-grip

Sending mixed signals, wearing no bra, black tank top, Grey gym pants, exciting my BBC then saying NO BRA!

Apple bong is crack bong, big flop wearing your pink flip flops, I need a drink,J walk drunk, hit, bong, bang, drive, buy smoke, fly, sky, high five, YouTube The Fives, whats the matter? GBV

All lives including those you call low lives matter, no 1 deserves murder.

Deep chats kid, Katt Williams crack me up, have a break Kit Kat

I'm a lil sad but real glad u not mad at me brick brack, red fox

Need my quick fix, Red on Netflix like Raymond, cross you off my hitlist, at least at last, the blacklist, NBC

No chick flicks miss, unless you aiming to get this, BBC

I don't aim, shoot shot once and don't miss, easy, ABC

Cupid tryinna shoot me dead but misz, shit shot, no Mrs, thank God

Thot thought she a hot shot coz she smoke pot, no BS she not hot

Cold as horse shit that's not hot, bust a nut, I might not

I'm a lit lad who thinks they a big bad, Wolf, with a sick head

You heard? Sometimes it's hard when u in my bed, think with other head instead like getting head

Play dead after I beat meat, you knock-knock, I'm cumin, you come in, your bad timing is not charming

I see myself in you, pun intended, idea planted in my head

For real tho, I see your hoeish ways, long gone are my hoeish days

Sometimes I think u poison like Ivy, I'm batman, no avengers

Scavengers, a mad woman and a bad man, Savages in our own league

First punch throwers, they hate us, crack bong hitters, they not us, we avenge us,

You lead, I school ya, screw ya, liquids in ur insides like IV

Drip drip, said fuck it, big deal, do u even care how I feel? Bad state of mind, took shrumz, now I'm havin a bad trip

Craving a road trip, cruze down memory lane, replay bad clip, is it weird that I loved that silhouette video? Press play

Get liquid withit

Going toe-to-toe, I kill and bury Big Trill, made my 1st mil

Then blew it, dead lyricist, I'm just a ghost writer

I see changes, a stoner girl turn to a rave girl as the nyt ages

I once told her, trust the rock of ages like John

Serial killer with rage on Pages, I was angry at God like Sean

Now i'm easy like solving for X- Kid'o,

That's annoying, ward off tiny mosquito

Go against me, that's a non starter, kiss my ass lips

I talk shit, no stutter or slight lisp like L-Tido

In the city of gold its all or nothing, that's a no brainer

No brain huh? Black lip bastard, faith like mustard seed

Don't call me bastard, transform to Luke Cage then hit rib Cage like

Nicholas, can't stop me like an urban legend... Ghost rider

I sound fictitious like ghost busters, but I'm quite real like Klingon

I stick like glue, here's a clue:

Day of the week: Monday

Feeling: baby Blue and itchy

Scratch my balls I'm jiggy, sweet melanin black queen like B

Fluent in your love language B, catch 22, paradoxical

Hypocritical, stereotypical, philosophical.

[eldritchsurveys]

939.

Can you talk on the phone while having the tv/radio on? >> I don’t talk on the phone, period. But no, I would turn anything noise-making off if I were going to use the phone. I can barely process phone speech as it is.

When was the last time you went over a speed bump? >> The last time Sparrow drove us back into the complex through the northwestern entrance.

What is the nearest school to where you live? >> There’s a school like a quarter-mile away from me.

What size are all the televisions in your house? >> The one television that we have is about 30″, I think.

Do you have health insurance? >> Technically, I have Medicaid, but it covers so little and has so many caveats that I might as well call myself uninsured for all the good it does me.

How many times have you been pulled over by the cops while driving? >> ---

What is one of your favorite movie lines? >> “Fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave” is the first thing that came to mind. I basically just don’t remember many movie lines. But I’ve seen Labyrinth like a million times and it has a lot of dramatic-ass theatrical lines that are easier to remember, so.

Describe your teeth: >> I don’t know what you want from me, man, they’re just teeth. Nothing remarkable about them.

How many posters are up in your house? What are some of them of? >> There’s a Wovenhand concert poster, a Sucker Punch movie poster, and a trio of Dark Tower movie posters in the living room. There’s also a Cradle of Filth album release poster in my room, and I only remember it’s there when surveys ask and then I’m like “I should take that down” and then promptly forget about it again.

How many clocks do you have in the house (including on the microwave, etc.)? >> Well, there’s the one on the microwave, and there’s clocks in every computer and phone. There’s also a Dark Tower clock on my wall, but I refuse to put a battery in it because I hate the sound it makes.

What is one thing you look forward to every day? >> Every day? Can’t imagine what there is to look forward to every single day.

What is one thing you dread every day? >> I dread the days I have to shower. It just... never gets easier. :/

When was the last time you cleaned your ears via QTip? >> I don’t use Q-Tips to clean my ears.

When was the last time you clipped your nails? >> I don’t remember. I clip them fairly often because I hate the feeling of my fingernails on the keyboard.

How many remotes do you need for your living room tv? >> One.

Ever lived through a natural disaster? >> I was in NYC during Sandy, but I wasn’t personally affected.

Whats the longest youve lived without electricity? >> I don’t know. Not long.

Name all the drugs you have tried: >> Yawn.

Name all of the alcoholic beverages you have tried:? >> Oh, dude, that’s nigh impossible.

Name all the types/brands of cigarettes you have tried: >> That might be a little easier. Newport, for sure... Camel... Pyramid, Marlboro, Virginia Slims... uhh... L&M, is that what it is? Something like that... Pall Mall, Maverick... yeah maybe this is harder than I’d originally thought. That’s all that I can remember right now, but I think that might cover it.

Do you like candles? >> Sometimes. Only certain ones.

Do you like to do puzzles (crosswords, word find, Soduku, etc.)? >> I do. Especially crosswords.

On a scale 1-10 how intelligent do you consider yourself? >> ---

What is one thing you stand strongly for? >> ---

Post a picture of someone important to you, tell me who they are and why they’re important: >> No.

Do you have a blue ray player? >> Well, I have a PS4.

If you could be the owner of one site what would it be? >> I don’t want to own a site.

What does your doormat say? >> The doormat was knitted by Sparrow’s grandmother and it has some cats on it and “best friends”. Personally, I try to ignore it. Not really my style.

What is something you always have in your fridge? >> Condiments.

Who was the last person you were on hold with (on the phone)? >> ---

When was the last time you were sick? >> ---

Who do you know thats pregnant? >> ---

Who do you know thats had a baby recently? >> ---

Do you know anyone whom got married recently? >> I don’t think so. You can imagine that there aren’t many weddings happening right now.

Do you know anyone who has died recently? >> No.

How many surveys a week do you think you do? >> Er... maybe... 10 or so?

What age can you not wait for? >> ---

Do you change songs in the car often? >> I’m not usually the one playing music in the car.

Name all sports teams you’ve been on: >> ---

Name all the drugs you’d never do: >> I think I can safely say I’d never do crack cocaine. Even when I was doing all kinds of other shit, I persistently avoided that one. Guess that’s the best thing that ever came out of that first relationship -- aversion to crack ain’t a bad thing to develop.

What is the most alcohol you’ve drank in a night? >> Oh, I don’t know. It’s not like I was keeping track, whenever it was.

What do you order from McDonalds? >> I don’t really eat there anymore. I have no idea what I would order from there now.

What do you order from Burger King? >> ^

What do you order from Wendys? >> ^

What do you order from Sonic? >> I ate at Sonic once and that was when I first moved out here, because I wanted to experience the novelty. From what little I remember of the food, I probably wouldn’t ever go there again.

What do you order from Taco Cabana? >> Never heard of this.

What do you order from White Castle? >> I don’t go here.

What do you order from Taco Bell? >> I haven’t been here in a while, and the only time I did go here was because it was the only place in the mall that I could stand and afford. I mean, A&W is all right but... generally I don’t want a whole ass burger and shit at the mall.

What do you order from What-a-Burger? >> We don’t have those in this region.

What do you order from pizza places? >> A veggie pizza. Thin crust if possible.

What do you order from most sit down restaurants? >> That would obviously depend on the restaurant.

What street sign do you find totally pointless? >> I don’t think I’ve ever seen a totally pointless street sign...

What drinking games have you played? >> Just Quarters. Never again.

When was the last time you vacuumed? >> Yesterday. I think. Either yesterday or the day before.

How many tattoos do you have? >> Three.

How many tattoos do you want? >> Three billion.

Whats something thats high priced that you just hate to buy? >> Most things, from my point of view.

[artificialqueens]

(treat me nice) never let me go [branjie] 1/15 - pinkgrapefruit

chapter 1. heading to the wishing well, we’ve reached our last resort

A/N - Hey! This has been a long time coming - a really long time - but I’m so excited to finally share it with you. I love this fic and the characters I’ve twisted out of it so much and I hope you will to. A small point, I know that I’ve written Vanessa as a prostitute and had I not started this at the end of april, you bet my ass I would have made Brooke the hoe but we’re here now.  Special thanks to Frey and Linda (Qtip) for always being my cheerleaders (and trusty betas) , Writ for reading this chapter through the first time and the clanjie discord for inspiring the idea to begin with. Let me know what you think and Enjoy!

*

It’s a hot day in Downtown Los Angeles, the smog sitting heavy on the rolling hills around. Brooke sighs and wipes a palm across her forehead, feeling the foundation she’d painstakingly applied melt right off with the sweat of the day. It’s 6.pm., but she feels like she’s lived seven lives all at once, each flowing into the next with unyielding monotony. She’d won a case (or a few, but who’s counting), but instead of celebrating with her coworkers she was told that she had to stay another week, so she shuffled her now unshoed feet down the 30 flights of stairs and out into her borrowed car. She’d never been a ‘let your hair down’ kinda gal, rushing through law at Toronto in 3 years with joint honours in management and corporate law. Having said that, Brooke had unbuttoned her jacket, loosened her tie and removed the bun ring from her long blonde ponytail before one could utter the phrase ‘long day’. It was a long day.

She leans her head against the wheel of the four by four with a dull thud. As a Canadian, these were her most comfortable cars, one she’d been birthed in and practically raised in, being ferried from dance to academic decathlon and back to dance. But to say she feels comfortable in it, that would be a stretch. Brooke reaches into her bag with a wince, as it stretches the muscle between her shoulder she always forgets exists, until she spends half a day in court. Pulling out her phone (and then the right phone), she mindlessly swipes through her emails until she finds the relevant booking, before burying it back into the bag and pushing the button that rolls down the window. ‘The Queen,’ she hums to herself as she sets off in the direction of Olympic. It is then she realises she does not have a clue how to get around LA.

*

She’s pretty sure her head is sweating under the wig, but at the same time, she’s sweating all over, so she can’t really tell anymore. Vanessa forwent her tights hours ago, and is now standing in what she deems a perfectly respectable skirt/bodysuit combination, that Katya playfully described as ‘overdressed nudity’. She can’t say that it’s an incorrect assessment.

They stand on the street corner like they do every Monday night, her, Silky and Katya - all long legs and tight tops - letting the men in cars drive past with their whistles and their handfuls of crumpled dollars that would be stuffed down the cleavage of the bodysuits while the girls give rushed blowjobs in the back of Ferraris. The windows are always blacked out and they always hassle over the condom, but, at the end of the day, it’s good money and she’s got a few regulars now. ‘I work nights,’ she tells her mama over the phone, it is technically a night job - if she’s lying a little bit, her mama doesn’t have to know.

Katya flinches as glass shatters in the bar behind them, her dirty blonde hair whipping around as she storms inside. Silky nudges Vanessa, saying something about protecting her girl’s honour, about Trixie being able to handle her own goddamn bar, but the shorter girl has checked out. Her eyes have glazed over a little, staring at the car that’s just pulled up - Silky of course notices, watches as Vanessa zeroes in on not only the car’s make, but also the blonde inside of it. 

“It’s an SV-Coupé,” she mumbles, still staring intently. 

Silky barks out a laugh. “No bitch, that’s rent. You should go for her. You look hot tonight,” she encourages loudly, arms waving a little, both in excitement and impatience. She gets a small shake of the head as the girl snaps out of her bewilderment and, as she slowly walks towards the car, Silky calls out, “Don’t take less than a hundred. Call me when you’re through. Take care of yourself!”

Maybe Vanessa swings her hips a little more, she’s planning on taking care of something. As Katya comes back out of the bar, face more than over the day already, she sighs. 

“She gon’ get some,” Silky sings, dancing in the street. 

The blonde raises an eyebrow, “But in what way?” she ponders as they part ways to tend to other drivers. Silky’s cackling can be heard right down Olympic.

*

Brooke’s not stupid, she knows what the girls on Olympic do, she knows how they toss their hair and other parts of their bodies in return for money, and while, yes, she respects them, she has no intention of getting near them. And then she realises she is well and truly lost. She pulls in where a black Audi has just pulled out, leans back into her seat a little and lets out a heavy sigh. As she does this, there’s a knock on the bottom of the window, the sound catching her off guard, as her eyes snap open from their half-lidded positions and fall onto a petite girl. Her confidence seems to come into focus, before the appearance does, brashly placing her forearms on the window, leaning in like she knows Brooke. The girl has deep brown eyes, Brooke notes, as she finds herself falling in a little. She sits bolt upright, startled - the bright blonde giggling at her expense. “Hey Sugar.” She smiles coyly. “You lookin’ for a date?”

Brooke bites back a smile, knew this was coming, but so feverishly hoped it wouldn’t. “No,” she replies bluntly, but the smile doesn’t leave the girls face. “I’m not from around here, I just want directions to Beverly Hills.” 

Her eyebrows are raised comically as she mock-ponders Brooke’s statement. “Sure, hun, 6 bucks.” She makes the grabby hand, but it doesn’t come off as overzealous.

“Sorry, ma’am, but that’s ridiculous”

“I’ll take 10.”

“You can’t charge me for directions.”

“I can do anything I want, baby, I ain’t lost,” she bats back, she looks almost bored, and it’s starting to get on Brooke’s nerves just a little bit.

“Fine, you win,” she sighs. “Got change for a twenty?” 

The girl shakes her head and winks, grabbing the money clean out of Brooke’s fingers and twirling it around a little before shoving it in, what she assumes to be, her boot. She tugs at something on her way up, and once she’s leaning back on the window, waves her hand a little, unravelling a roll of condoms as she smirks earnestly. It takes all of Brooke’s waning self-control not to laugh. “If you want anything after the directions, not only am I better than an amateur, I’m safer!” It could be a brag, but Brooke just rolls her eyes and points to the other door of the car, making the motion of unlocking it, so as to spur the young woman into getting in. She bounces a little in her seat as she closes the door, looking fascinated at the car in its entirety.

“What’s your name?” Brooke asks as she fiddles with the air conditioning, trying to angle it so the cool air blasts directly onto her chest - flushed from the heat (and possibly this girl). 

“What do you want it to be?” She gets no response, Brooke merely raising an eyebrow pointedly.

“Vanessa. My name is Vanessa.”

“So, what’s the hotel?”

Brooke hums under her breath for a second, trying desperately to find the hotel’s name in her brain that’s been frazzled from a day in court. “The Queen? Beverly?” she tries. Vanessa nods, starts reeling off directions that the Canadian cannot follow quickly enough. They’re barely five minutes down the road when she demands to swap. 

“God, this must drive like a dream,” squeals Vanessa once they’ve changed sides. She strokes the wooden centre console as she talks, letting her fingers feel all the grooves of it - it feels expensive, like she shouldn’t be there. “V8 petrol, paddle shifters, two-speed transfer box!” Brooke has never seen someone get so excited about a car, but even more so, she’s astonished that it’s this tiny woman who is the one getting excited. 

“You know about cars then, huh,” Brooke muses as they pull away. “Where did that come from?”

“My pops used to work on ‘em,” she answers cheerily, eyes trained on the road as she easily navigates the traffic. Brooke wipes her eyes blearily, knows she’s still got work to do when she gets back to the hotel, but she’s being driven and, dear god, she could nap right now.

“So, what kind of money do you girls make these days?” questions Brooke as she shuffles in her seat. 

Vanessa tilts her head to the side for a second, a bemused smile on her face as she considers her answer. “Can’t take less than ‘undred a night,” she replies after a thought. 

“For an hour?” It shocks Brooke a little as the girl nods. “And you’ve got a safety pin holding up your boot? You must be joking?” 

Vanessa squints a little. “I don’t joke about money, babe.”

“Neither do l.”

“Hundred dollars an hour. Pretty stiff.”

“Well, no. But it’s got potential.”

“You ready?” she asks as they get closer to the hotel, they’re approaching a corner and Brooke becomes apprehensive immediately. “I’m gonna show you what this car can really do, hang on, okay?”

They ricochet round the corner, Vanessa looking like she’s having the time of her life, while the other woman looks like she’s just been rudely awakened from a nice dream. She could be angry, but that would take too much energy. She settles on amazed.

When they pull up at the hotel, Brooke would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little sad. A valet approaches the car and Vanessa hands him the keys before hopping out, Brooke steps out too, although a little less excitedly. The two gaze up at the hotel, maybe a little resentment passes over Brooke’s face, but no one notices.

“So,” Brooke starts as they stand awkwardly outside the hotel, “are you going to be okay?”

“Me? I’ll get the bus, I’ll be fine.” Vanessa smiles and Brooke believes her willingly.

“I can call you a taxi?”

“I like the bus.”

Brooke nods and moves to leave, she’s almost convinced herself she wants to, but there is something, some invisible force that does not care about the work she has to do, that won’t let her go. She stops and slowly, with great intent, turns back around. She finds Vanessa staring at where her ass would be, and is a little proud. 

“I was thinking, did you say a hundred an hour?”

“Yeah?” The girl replies, a little confused.

“You got any prior engagements?”

Vanessa’s smile widens, a happy grin spreading across her face. She shakes her head animatedly. 

“Then I’d be very pleased if you would accompany me into the hotel.”

“You got it!” She laughs as she pulls the barely-there skirt down over her ass. 

“What’s your name?”

“Brooke Lynn.” 

“Brooke Lynn? That’s my favourite name in the whole world!” She exclaims and Brooke can’t help the way her heart flutters when Vanessa says her name like that. Three syllables instead of two, pulling it in her mouth like taffy.

“No,” she responds half mocking with a soft smile. They bump shoulders as they walk into the hotel, and Brooke isn’t sure she stops smiling that night.

*

The second they enter the hotel, the Canadian becomes acutely aware of what her counterpart is wearing. It’s disgusting and, frankly, ridiculous, but she knows that the people there won’t see Vanessa how she sees her. To them she’s a short, bleached blonde Latina in a skimpy outfit, and even if she is what they think she is, Brooke already detests the way she feels eyes on them. She shrugs off her blazer and hands it to Vanessa with a gentle look. “Why don’t you put this on,” she says and she can hear the softness in her voice, the way it melts when the girl looks upset. It drowns her and it’s kind of bittersweet. “This isn’t the kind of establishment that rents rooms by the hour,” she attempts to justify, but what she really means is ‘This is full of judgy assholes, I’m sorry.’ She doesn’t say it.

“Holy shit,” Vanessa marvels at the entrance hall as they stop at the front desk.

A tall, well-built woman comes to the counter, smiling in recognition at Brooke. She doesn’t even look at her accomplice. 

“Good evening, miss Hytes, you have messages.” 

“Good evening, Nina. Just letting you know, I’ll be here for another week or so, and could I get some champagne and strawberries, please?” Brooke requests with a pleasant smile and her client voice. She typically dislikes attendants, but she has a soft spot for Nina, she’s never failed her in years of LA visits, always operating with kindness and honesty - something Brooke respects.

She tries to usher Vanessa up to the room with as little fuss as possible, but once the girl catches onto the fact people are less than pleased to see her, she gets a little incendiary.

“You know what’s happened? I’ve got a runner in my pantyhose.”

“Well, colour me happy! There’s a sofa in here for two.”

If Brooke was less embarrassed, she’d laugh.

*

“The penthouse?!”

Vanessa stands by the door, bouncing on her heels as she waits for Brooke to open it. “I miss keys,” she grumbles as she fumbles with the key card, a little embarrassed, but too tired to really care. The second the door opens, Vanessa rushes in, although she quickly slows down to admire the room. It’s large, spacious, with a living/dining room, and a bedroom visible through a large doorway. It feels ornate. She feels out of place. 

“Impressed?” Brooke smiles as she asks, hears her voice carry a little into the room. 

“You kidding, I come here all the time,” Vanessa replies in jest. “As a matter of fact, they do rent the room out.”

“Uhuh.” Brooke sets her things down on the floor by the door, takes her hair out of the ponytail it’s been straining in and shakes her head a little. She feels freer without the tension. 

Vanessa has already gone out onto the balcony, yelling, “This is so cool!,” at a volume Brooke is pretty sure the neighbours could hear. “I bet you could see the ocean from here,” she cries ecstatically, and Brooke has to smile.

“I wouldn’t know, I don’t go out there.”

The Latina’s face is a picture of confusion as she pops her head back around through the door, staring at Brooke who is sat at the desk, reading the paper. “Why?” she questions, emphasising the ‘Y’ sound until it’s four syllables long. 

“I’m scared of heights.”

Vanessa almost screams with laughter, catching the irony pretty quickly. Once she settles down, she returns back inside, throwingherself onto one of the plush couches. 

“Well, now that you have me here, what are you going to do with me?” she asks innocently, although its undertones tread into dangerous waters. Brooke turns in her chair, papers on the table and elbows on her knees.

“Want to know something? I don’t have a clue. I haven’t exactly planned this.” Brooke is a planner, likes to know what’s happening and when. She’s been known not to turn up to things if they’re announced on the day of, not to go places if she didn’t know every detail. Every lawyer has a quirk, she supposes, and this might be hers.

“Well, do you plan everything?”

“Always.”

“I’m more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl. You know, moment to moment.”

Brooke nods in understanding, can see that, and perhaps wishes she had a little more of it herself.

“You know, you could pay me,” Vanessa points out after a long, but comfortable silence. The two appear to relax around each other, nothing is uncomfortable (although that may just be Vanessa’s brash confidence).

Brooke shuffles a fifty out of her briefcase and hands it to Vanessa. She doesn’t watch where she puts it, but when she looks up the girl is holding out a wad of condoms and dental dams, and the Canadian is only slightly confused.

“Pick one. I got red, I got green, I got yellow. I’m out of purple, but I do have one gold circle coin left.”

She vaguely points to the gold one, non-committal and with a twinge of dread.

“The condom of champions. The one and only. Nothing is gettin’ through this sucker.”

“A buffet of safety,” Brooke teases Vanessa.

 “What can I say, I’m a safety girl.” She says it with a wink and Brooke has to laugh, because she’s spent the evening not laughing at so many jokes, and the ice is well and truly broken.

When the girl comes closer to her with the condom though, she recoils a little, asks if they can just talk instead. It’s not that she doesn’t want to have sex with Vanessa (although at this moment in time she isn’t quite sure), she just knows she doesn’t want to have to pay for it.

The smaller girl looks even smaller sunk into the couch. It swallows her almost as much as the blazer she’s still wearing, and it’s rather sweet.

“Business or pleasure then?” she asks, her chin propped up on the back of the couch.

“Business, I think?” responds Brooke, hesitant.

“Hmmm, that would make you… A lawyer!”

Brooke raises an eyebrow, hopes her face hasn’t given much away.

“What makes you think I’m a lawyer?” 

“You’ve got that, um… sharp, useless look about you.”

Brooke chuckles, “I bet you’ve known a lot of lawyers.”

“I’ve known a lot of everybody.”

*

A little while later, the doorbell rings and Vanessa wrestles herself out of the blanket cocoon she’s created to answer it. Somewhere through their talking, Brooke had forgot what the girl was wearing, so when she stands up, she feels a pang of empathy for the room service guy who’s about to come in. She recognises the girl, Courtney, she thinks, and she’s grateful for the efficiency - managing to be in and out within seconds. 

It turns out Vanessa has little care for strawberries and champagne.

“Look, I appreciate the little seduction thing you’ve got going on, but I’m on an hourly rate,” she moans as Brooke explains the reasoning behind the strawberries.

“Time really seems to be a problem with you,” responds Brooke, a little sharper than she may have intended. “Just stay here.”

Vanessa clicks her tongue, considering it a little. She doesn’t have anywhere else to be, but still can’t help the niggling feeling that she should leave.

“You couldn’t afford me.”

“Try me.”

It’s a challenge of sorts, neither can tell if they’re imagining the flirtation.

“Three hundred dollars.”

“Done.” Brooke places the money on the table easily, as if the amount means nothing to her (it doesn’t). 

“So, what do you want me to do?”

Everything.

“I don’t know.”

*

Vanessa is in the bathroom when Brooke comes in. She’s just got her floss out of her bag, but she hides it when the taller woman arrives, feels it’s a little childish. Brooke notices she’s got something in her hand and she assumes the worst - she always does. 

“What’s in your hand? What are you hiding?” she asks, and her voice is more forceful than usual, lower and heavier, and it scares Vanessa a heck of a lot more than it probably should.

“Nothing,” she defends, but her voice seems weak and feeble in comparison.

“Look, I don’t want drugs in here, get your things and leave, please.” And even though Brooke seems like it pains her to do this, the suggestion makes Vanessa angry.

“I stopped doing drugs when, when - “

She stops and holds out her hand, opening it to allow Brooke to see the dental floss. Where she rose her voice, she feels a dead weight in the air. The silence thick like molasses.

“I had all those strawberry seeds. And you shouldn’t neglect your gums.”

Brooke looks ashamed, maybe a little fearful of Vanessa’s reaction, and she should be, but neither has the heart to argue.

“You know, very few people surprise me,” she says thoughtfully. 

Vanessa tilts her head. “Yeah, well, you’re lucky. Most of ‘em shock the hell outta me.”