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thatgenderfluidmonstrosity · 1 year ago

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Memories (Collei Angst)

TW: Panic Attack (I also just posted this on Ao3, Author: SoManyPassions, the name of the fic is the same, go check it out there if you want!) ---- Khajeh of the Sumeru Akademiya tries to get Collei to convince Tighnari to join the Akademiya by promising her things that can't happen…and exploiting her weaknesses. ---- "Collei, I will be right over here if you need me, I'll just be talking to some youngsters who want join my class. If anything happens, I give you full permission to pull out your bow, and I will deal with any consequences." Faruzan said, letting out a small laugh.

Collei laughed a bit with her but didn't know if she was being fully serious or not.

"O-oh, alright!" She said, staying where she was.

After a bit, she got tired and decided to sit on a bench across the way.

She pulled out Culien-Anbar and held it for a bit before she heard footsteps nearing.

She looked up and three people that dressed as though they were staff within the Akademiya were standing in front of her.

"Oh, hello sirs! Do you need something?" She asked while standing and putting Culien-Anbar away.

"We do, we do. Sorry if we have disturbed you dear." The first man said, "I am Khajeh and these are my associates, Ghulam and Saheem. We were wondering…are you a mutual of Forest Watcher Tighnari? We have noticed by your outfit you very well may be a Forest Dweller."

"Oh! Yes, I am! Um, how do you know my Master?" She asked.

"We have spoken with him before as his Master is an important part of the Akademiya." Ghulam told her.

"Oh, alright! What can I help you with?" She asked, wondering if maybe Tighnari might've gotten in trouble with the Akademiya.

"Well, as you know, Tighnari is a very smart individual, learning from one of our best. We have asked before on his stance of joining the Akademiya and were wondering if we may have some of your assistance." Khajeh asked.

"My assistance? What can I do?" She wondered.

"Well, as you know, there are many places that are being affected by The Withering. We were thinking that maybe with his expertise in defending against it, we might be able to come up with a way to permanently stop it." Saheem explained.

"That…does sound good!" Collei said.

"Yes, yes, but there is something else." Khajeh said, crouching down to her level.

"Hm?" She questioned.

"Well, you know that you master has very interesting and diverse knowledge in the arts of medicine…" He started, and slowly reached for her hand.

She was scared, but didn't pull away.

"With his expansive knowledge of medical practices and having them combine with those in the Akademiya, we might be able to do…great things…"

As he said the last part, his hand brushed up her sleeve slightly, revealing her Eleazar.

As he did that, she pulled her arm away in fear.

She held it tightly with her other arm, as if it had been hurt.

"We will give you time to think of how to persuade him, but remember, many people can be helped if you do this. Even yourself. You can stop the spread of this horrible disease, stop The Withering. Stop him." He finished with a grin on his face as he walked away.

She stood there a moment longer before sitting back down on the bench.

She had been promised that before…but was it really worth it?

Old memories started to plague her mind again before they were stopped by a voice.

"Collei~!" She heard Madam Faruzan call for her.

She looked up and saw her walking towards her with a smile on her face.

"Whats um- whats got you so happy?" She asked, having a bit of trouble coming back to reality.

"I just got three more students to transfer to my classes!" She smiled.

"That's nice…" Collei said, but her voice was ever so slightly devoid of emotion.

"Is everything alright my dear?" Faruzan asked, crouching to her level.

"Y-yeah I'm alright…could we get going back to Gandharva Ville?" She asked.

"Of course." Faruzan smiled softly and led the way.

Once they had gotten to the City's edge, they said goodbye to each other and parted ways.

Collei made the long trek back to the village with millions of thoughts running though her head.

Should I tell him about it?

If so, then what am I going to do when he leaves?

I mean, hes left before on short expeditions of the forest…

But…the Forest Rangers can't work long without him.

And if not, then what about The Withering? And…my Eleazar?

I mean, the man said I had chance to save so many more people from it. And The Withering. And him.

So why shouldn't I?

But what if I'm just getting my hopes up about nothing? What is there truly is no hope?

That will just lead to…to more children getting taken…and…

She couldn't bring herself to think about it anymore.

Right on time though, as she then arrived back in Gandharva Ville.

She made her walk back to Tighnaris hut and met him right outside where he was making dinner.

"Ah, Collei, welcome back. How was your time with Faruzan today? Did you do anything interesting?" He asked.

"Hi Master Tighnari. Um- i-it was nice… I suppose.. I didn't really do anything interesting…" She said, her mind till muddled with memories.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking back at her.

He then noticed how she was still holding her arm.

"Did something happen?" His voice sounded slightly more concerned than it was previously.

"Oh- Y-yeah I'm alright!" She said, smiling the best she could.

"Alright…well, if you have anything you want to talk about, I'm here to listen." He said, turning back to finish cooking.

Collei stood there a moment longer, then went in to Tighnaris hut and sat on his bed.

She continued to think of Khajehs proposal. It was such a big promise. But she couldn't just…not tell Tighnari…right? She could help save so many people…

She couldn't stop thinking about it. No matter what. And she didn't know what to do.

And the more she thought, the worse the memories got.

She heard his voice and felt like she was tied down again, as if another experiment was about to be conducted.

It was getting harder and harder for her to breathe-

why can't I breathe? Please- let me breathe-

It was all getting too much- she couldn't breathe, she felt like she was tied down, she swore she heard his voice somewhere in the mix.

Before she could process all of it, it was happening again.

What had Tighnari called these? Panic attacks?

"They usually happen when you are experiencing a relapse of memories of something traumatic. Well, that's your case specifically. Your heart will feel like its beating out of your chest and your breathing will get faster because your brain is convinced you aren't receiving enough air. You'll start shaking and in in your case, which it appears to be quite severe, you'll see visions or hallucinations, sometimes of people, but also the place around you might change. It's important that if you are experiencing one and I'm not around, to try to find something to divert your attention and start doing our breathing practices. If I am around, no matter what I'm doing, please come to me, and we can work it out together. You don't deserve to go though these things alone, albeit at all."

She remembered him telling her that the first time she had a panic attack in front of him. She didn't know what it was and was terrified. Since then, shes had plenty more and Tighnari was almost always there. Sometimes she was with Cyno who also helped her.

But what could she do now? She felt like the walls were closing in on her and she had no chance of escaping it.

She tried to steady her breathing, she knew she did. She had done it so many times before, but it wasn't working now.

Why isn't this helping!?

She felt the tears start to travel down her face alarmingly fast. When did she start crying?

It was all too much- way too much.

Her mind was filled with Khajehs proposal and all its pro's and con's, how she would bring it up to Tighnari, how to stop this panic attack and all the memories that were coming back.

She just wanted it all to stop- why wouldn't it stop?

She then saw what appeared to be a figure walking into where-…wherever she was.

She flinched and huddled backwards, feeling the need to get away.

"Collei?" The voice yelled, but it sounded far away.

"Collei! Hey, hey, hey, I'm right here, I'm right here- Collei?" It said, sounding scared.

Somehow, a face appeared in front of her blurred vision. They appeared to be saying more, but she didn't know what it was now.

"N-no no no- I- I can't let it happen anymore-" She muttered, thinking of all the other kids.

She couldn't remember any of their names, but she knew them. All the outcast children that would never receive the gods favor. All the children that didn't make it. All the kids who had died by their hands. By his hands. All the poor, poor children that got fates worse than death. Like herself.

She didn't want that to happen again. She never wanted that to happen in the first place. And she had a chance to stop it. Right?

"They didn't deserve that- I-I didn't deserve that-" She muttered more.

She saw the face in front of her change. It wasn't kind and warm anymore. It was cold and harsh.

He was angry. Why was he angry? What did you do this time?

He glared right through his mask.

Wait…mask?

Tighnari doesn't wear a mask.

no- no no no no- he isn't here- this isn't real- this cant be real.

"Collei, if you can hear me, I'm letting you know, I'm going to hold your hand."

His voice spoke through whatever things she was hearing now.

So, when she felt it, she didn't flinch.

"Good, good, you're doing good." He spoke again.

His face started to fade out, leaving her with her Masters worried eyes staring right at her.

She moved her mouth, trying to speak, but the words weren't there.

Her eyes darted all over.

She knew where she was now. She wasn't there. She was in Tighnaris hut. She was safe and far, far away from him.

"Can you tell me where you are?" He asked, his voice much clearer.

She tried to speak more, but it was still hard.

"H-hut…" She said.

"That's good. Very good. I want you to try to breath with me. Okay?" He said, still holding her hand.

"Mhm." She agreed.

They started to do the breathing practices and soon Collei was aware of her surroundings again.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her, still holding her hand to let her know this was real.

"…Tired…honestly…" She said, her voice meek and quiet.

"That's understandable. Would you like to talk about what may have caused this?" He asked her.

She curled up again, bringing her knees to her chest.

"Y-yeah…" She whispered.

Tighnari pulled his chair from his desk over and sat in front of her, ready to listen. He even held her hand again for more comfort.

"When I was in the city today with Madam Faruzan, she started talking to some students of the Akademiya that wanted to join her course, so I sat over on a bench and waited for them to finish talking…" She started, taking slow, deep breaths.

"While I was waiting, these three men walked over…They were a-a part of the Akademiya…I think?…I think one of their names was Khajeh…but I might be misremembering…" She continued, only to see Tighnaris face grow colder…had something she said upset him?

He didn't say anything…maybe he wanted her to continue? So she did.

"They first asked if I knew you…and introduced themselves… They said they knew you were really smart and stuff…" She smiled a bit, making quick eye contact with him.

She was quiet, scared to say what had happened next.

"Khajeh…he told me that if I…if I could get you…to um….join the Akademiya…then…" She reached and felt her forearm with her unoccupied hand.

"M-maybe there could be a way to stop The Withering…o-or…the um…Eleazar…He told me that I had a chance to make it go away, to help stop it….t-to um…to help…stop him…" She said, now on the verge of tears again.

She was scared still. He hadn't said anything.

"Are you…mad at me?" She asked, as he let go of her hand.

"No, I'm not mad at you. At all." He said, taking a deep breath.

"I'm just…I'm so sorry that he said that to you. And that you had to deal with all of that pressure… I know its upsetting and that you want there to be a cure, but even the greatest alchemists of Teyvat haven't even come close. I wouldn't be able to do anything." He said solemnly.

"I know…" She muttered, "But…as long as its a thing…" She continued but was stopped.

"I know, I know…but you also know that a vile being like him will do everything it takes for him to continue his research. Curing Eleazar won't stop him." Tighnari admitted.

"…I know…I just wanted to feel…I don't know…like I might be doing something right in my life…" She muttered.

She hoped he hadn't heard her. But she knew he did.

"Saving people isn't your job, Collei. Your job is to live your life the way you want to. Well, within moral boundaries I suppose. But its not your job to save the world. You put so much pressure on yourself…I want you to know that its okay to want to focus on yourself. Because you are important. You have worth, and are worth it to me." He said, his voice soft.

The second round of tears had started as he spoke.

His words were warm and loving. He spoke like he cared because he does.

"I love you Tighnari…" She whispered.

"I love you too Collei." He said back.

After a while, Collei had started to drift off to sleep, and she heard as he stood up and his footsteps faded away.

Later that night, she awoke to the sound of two people talking.

Master Tighnari and Master Cyno?

"But she is alright now, correct?" Cyno asked.

"Yes, she fell asleep a while ago." Tighnari answered.

"And there is still something else you want to tell me, right?" He asked.

"You could tell? …Yes." Tighnari went on and explained the best he could about what happened.

"…That b-" Cyno was about to say, but Tighnari cut him off, shushing him.

Collei felt as though he might've pointed to her as he did.

"Yes, I agree. I'm planning on going into the City tomorrow to speak to them about their utterly foolish and despicable behavior. How they practically manipulated her by guilt? How they targeted her deep rooted trauma?!" He sighed, taking a deep voice.

Collei took a shaky breath. She had no idea he was this worked up. She should've assumed he was being soft with her as to not scare her.

"I can go with you. They'll be more likely to not mess with you or her again." Cyno said.

"I would try to talk you out of it, but that would be useless, wouldn't it?"He sighed. "Alright."

"Good. Amir will watch her?" Cyno asked.

"That is correct…" Tighnari answered.

Their voices then started to fade out as Collei drifted back to sleep. - With Cyno and Tighnari the next day -

The two men walked swiftly towards the Akademiya and made their way inside.

Cyno had requested a meeting with the three men earlier that morning and was glad they delivered.

As Tighnari got to the meeting room, just seeing the three men made him angry.

"Hello Sirs, what a pleasure to see you both!" Khajeh smiled.

"Take a seat, will you?" He said, his associates and himself already seated.

They obliged, meeting the eyes of Khajeh with much disdain.

"I'm glad you could make it Tighnari! Now-" He started to speak, his smile being wiped off his face as he was interrupted.

"Stop talking." Cyno commanded. "I was the one who called this meeting. Not you. Tighnari?" He said, turning the attention to him.

"I was informed by my daughter that you approached her yesterday. You tried to get her to get me to join the Akademiya because your own efforts were failing." He sneered.

Immediately, the mens' faces went white.

"O-oh no- no no no- That certainly wasn't our intention sir- we just-" Ghulam stuttered out some sort of response that might help them.

"Oh really? So you didn't try and guilt her with the effects of The Withering? Or her Eleazar? Oh and you most certainly didn't target her trauma with a mention of a certain Fatui Harbinger, right?" He said, his voice sharp and getting louder.

He had stood, towering over the three men as they seemingly sunk into their seats.

"S-sir we-" Saheem tried to speak but Tighnari wasn't done.

"I'm.not.done." Tighnari seemingly growled.

The men stayed quiet.

"You deliberately tried to use a child for your schemes because you felt you couldn't do it yourself. How disgusting do you think that sounds? Probably not that bad, right? Well how about the fact that you caused her to have a panic attack because you had guilted her to the point of a breakdown. Oh and using her own experiences against her!? I cant even begin to describe how truly awful you three are and I most certainly don't want to know what compelled you to think any of that was a good idea."

"So, I hope you thought it was worth it, because if you didn't ruin your chances of me joining previously, you have now. I have no interest for any work here, and if your pestering continues, I will make sure you are dealt with." He said, venom in his every word.

He took a deep breath and brushed back his raised hair.

"You will not be speaking to me or my daughter ever again. I trust that Cyno can serve as the boundary here, as he is also a part of the Akademiya?" Tighnari looked to him.

"Of course dear." He said, scowling at the men.

"O-of course! We are ever so sorry." Khajeh spoke, probably shaking in fear as he stuttered.

"Good. You should feel lucky that Cyno didn't leave this room the moment the meeting started." Tighnari spat, then taking his leave.

Cyno stayed in there a bit longer as Tighnari took his moment alone to calm down.

Soon, Cyno walked out and walked over to him.

"Are you doing alright?" Cyno asked, taking his husbands hand.

"I'm…fine…" He said, sighing. "I feel like I should've said more, or done more to defend her." He admitted.

"Its alright. I'm glad you stopped where you did because you might've actually hurt one of them if you hadn't." Cyno let out a small laugh.

"Alright…" Tighnari said, knowing he was probably right.

"Plus I took care of telling them what would happen to them in the Akademiya's point of view if anything else happened." Cyno said.

"Well thank you." Tighnari held his hand a bit tighter.

"Of course." Cyno said, doing the same.

"I should start heading back to Gandharva Ville now. Will you be joining?" Tighnari asked.

Cyno thought for a moment before replying, "Sure."

With that, they made their way back to Gandharva Ville together, reaching there just before sunset.

"Ah, Master Tighnari! Oh! Master Cyno!" Collei said, racing towards them.

"Hello Collei, it has been quite a bit, how are you?" Cyno asked as Tighnari went to speak with Amir.

"I'm doing great! I assume Master Tighnari told you?" Collei asked timidly, referring to last night.

"Yes, yes. I'm sorry that happened and I could not be here." He apologized. "But I think you'll be happy to know it was taken care of on my side." He told her.

"Oh, alright… Um, Amir made dinner, do you want some?" Collei asked, grabbing his hand and leading him towards where Tighnari and Amir were speaking.

"Sure." He smiled at her, happy to see that she was alright now.

That night was calm. The three of them spoke and ate together, and Collei felt so glad to have her dads there with her. ----

#tighnari #cyno genshin impact #collei angst #collei genshin #collei has a panic attack #hurt/comfort #hurt/angst #genshin impact #genshin angst #cyno x tighnari #adopted collei #collei adopted by tighnari and cyno <3333

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notdoni · 11 months ago

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نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

نت دونی , نت گیتار , نت متوسط گیتار , نت گیتار احسان خواجه امیری , notdoni , نت های گیتار احسان خواجه امیری , نت های گیتار , گیتار , احسان خواجه امیری , نت احسان خواجه امیری , نت های احسان خواجه امیری , نت های امیر عبدالهی , نت های متوسط گیتار , نت گیتار متوسط

پیش نمایش نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

دانلود نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

خرید نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

جهت خرید نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر روی لینک زیر کلیک کنید

نت گیتار آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

sheet Music Ehsan Khajeh Amiri Khiyal

نت گیتار آهنگ خیال

از احسان خواجه امیری

به همراه آکورد و تبلچر

متن آهنگ خیال از احسان خواجه امیری

بذار خیال کنم هنوز ترانه هامو میشنوی هنوز هوامو داری وهنوز صدامو می شنوی

هنوز صدامو میشنوی

بذار خیال کنم هنوز یه لحظه از نیازتم اگه تموم قصه هام هنوز ترانه سازتم

هنوز ترانه سازتم

بذار خیال کنم هنوز پر از تب و تاب منی روزا به فکر دیدنم شبا پر از خواب منی

شبا پر از خواب منی

بذار خیال کنم تو دلتنگی هات غروب که میشه یاد من میفتی

تویی که قصه ی طلوع عشق و گفتی و دوست دارم و نگفتی

گفتی و دوست دارمو نگفتی

بذار خیال کنم منم اون که دلت تنگه براش اونی که وقتی تنهایی پر میشی از خاطره هاش

اونکه هنوز دوسش داری اون که هنوز هم نفسه

بذار خیال کنم منم اونی که بودنش بسه

اونی که بودنش بسه

دوباره فال حافظ و دوباره توی فالمی بذار خیال کنم بذار اگر چه بی خیالمی

اگر چه بی خیالمی

بذار خیال کنم تو دلتنگات غروب که میشه یاد من میفتی

تویی که قصه ی طلوع عشقو گفتی و دوست دارمو نگفتی

گفتی و دوست دارم و نگفتی

کلمات کلیدی : نت دونی , نت گیتار , نت متوسط گیتار , نت گیتار احسان خواجه امیری , notdoni , نت های گیتار احسان خواجه امیری , نت های گیتار , گیتار , احسان خواجه امیری , نت احسان خواجه امیری , نت های احسان خواجه امیری , نت های امیر عبدالهی , نت های متوسط گیتار , نت گیتار متوسط

#نت دونی #نت گیتار #نت متوسط گیتار #نت گیتار احسان خواجه امیری #notdoni #نت های گیتار احسان خواجه امیری #نت های گیتار #گیتار #احسان خواجه امیری #نت احسان خواجه امیری #نت های احسان خواجه امیری #نت های امیر عبدالهی #نت های متوسط گیتار #نت گیتار متوسط

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