#keeping this a little vague but OFCOURSE IM TALKING ABOUT

[mockingjaylad]

These characters CANT keep having siblings.

It’s ruining my life.

[zmayadw]

Hello, hello :)

It's time to continue the story, so here is the next part.

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 21

It was Sunday. The light rain was drizzling from the morning, making the day feel even more lazy, and my mood was the same. Jake was at his laptop, as usual. I didnt feel like working today. I tried reading a book i downloaded months ago, but i wasnt focused enough for it also. I had my headphones on, not to distract Jake with music, and just messed arround on my laptop. As i hummed silently the words of a song that was playing, my headphones wer suddenly thrown from my ears by him. „Get dressed!“ he said to me, walking quickly back to the desk, taking some stuff and throwing them in his backpack. „Jake?“ I was confused, but he just shot me a sideway look and said more fiercly „Maya, get up and get dressed! Now!“ I was dressed already, i just needed to put my sneakers and a jacket on. As i was done, he tossed me my phone „Call Jessy, tell her we'll be there in 10 minutes, and that i need Dans help.“ He said and now i was even more confused. „Jake, whats going on?“ He didnt answer me, just continued taking the stuff, turning to his laptop and typing something on it. „Jake!“ i yelled. He finaly turned to me, throwing his backpack over his shoulder „I got it!“ „You got what?“ i asked now totaly confused, and a bit annoyed with those vague answers. He smirked, some new glow showing in his eyes „Where the calls are coming from.“ His words left me breathless. Can this really be? Are we finaly gonna get to the bottom of this all? My heart was beating like crazy, as Jake words snaped my attention back. He was holding the doors of the room open „Maya, move!“

I called Jessy once we wer in the car, explaining all to her, and she said Dan will wait for us outside. „You do know you're staying with Jessy, right?“ Jake said to me. „Yes, i kinda had a hunch you wont let me come with you.“ i said a bit dissapointed. „Maya, we have no clue what we're gonna find. I just need you to stay with her. I cant worry about you while we're there.“ „I know. Just promise me you'll be careful, too.“ „Ofcourse.“ He said. „Take my backpack.“ He told me „You'll find a white box in it, get it.“ I turned to the back seat taking his backpack and doing as he told me. I took the box out „What is it?“ i asked as i opened it. There was a phone in it, similar to the one he had. „Its my old phone. You're gonna use it. Its encrypted, so you wont recive any strange calls on it.“ „Oh, ok.“ I said. „And, yes, before you ask, im tracking that one, too.“ He said with a grin. „Ofcourse you are.“ I replied with a grin myself. He got serious on me „I just need to know i can find you if something happens. So, please, promise me you will always keep it with you.“ „I promise.“

Dan was waiting outside for us. I started to leave the car, when Jake pulled me back for a kiss „See you soon.“ I smiled, and left the car, letting Dan take my place. Jake raised his eyebrow at him as he sat in, since Dan was holding a baseball bat. „Hey, better be safe then sorry, man.“ Dan told him, closing the doors. „Come, Maya, i'll make us some coffee.“ Jessy said to me, as i watched Jake drive away, feeling of both excitement and fear mixing in me.

Jakes POV

„You all right there, Dan?“ i asked him. He was clenching that bat so hard. „Yeah, man, guess adrenalin is kicking in.“ I could relate to that. „You sure you're going in the right direction?“ he asked. „Yes, why?“ „We're close to leaving Duskwood. I tought you said the calls came from within Duskwood.“ They were. „Are there any buildings in this area?“ „Yeah, man, but it's just an abandoned warehouse. It's huge and been deserted for years.“ Dan said. „Perfect for hiding.“ I told him. „True.“ He said. „See that gravel path there? Take it, it will lead us to the entrance.“ Dan instructed me. After a while, we came at the warehous. There was a fence all over it, but visibly torn at various spots. „At least we wont have problems getting in.“ Dan said as we left the car. I took my backpack from the back seat. Opening it, i took out my knife, Dan eyeing me, but not saying a word about it. I threw my backpack over my shoulders. The rain started falling harder, so I pulled my hood on, turning to Dan „Lets go.“

„How are we gonna know where to go look at?“ Dan asked as we passed the fence. The place was huge, so his question was valid. I took my phone out, tapping on it and showing it to him „With this.“ He looked at it, a red dot blinking on the screen, showing wich direction we should go. „It will get us to the right building.“ „Good“ he siad „I dont want to be roaming here in vain. This place gives me goosebumps, man. You could definitely make a horror movie here.“ He said teasingly, but i could see he was being nervous. And he wasnt wrong, the place did look eerie. It was long deserted. Graffiti on the walls, some half torn from plasters missing, manny windows broken or dirty from the influence of time. Beside our footsteps, the only sound heard was the occasional dripping of water from the rain, falling on some meatl. And the sound of ravens cawing in the distance. How convenient, i tought. My phone beeped „This is it.“ I told Dan, pointing at the building a few feet from us to our right. Dan clenched his bat tighter again, and my hand automatically went for my waist, grabbing the knifes handle tightly, as we neared the building. „Allright“ Dan said „Lets find a way in.“

Mayas POV

I was nervously clicking on the phone Jake gave me, as Jessy settled a coffee cup infront of me. „Maya, the phone works fine. Stop checking it every thirty seconds.“ I smiled at her forcedly „Sorry, i'm just nervous as hell.“ I said, my leg bouncing uncontrollably under the table. „I get it, im nervous , too. But they barely left, it wont be some time till we might hear anything.“ She told me, and i knew she was right. „I know Jessy, but im getting a bad vibe about this.“ I said. „I hope its just my nervousness kicking in, but theres some terrible feeling creeping at me that something bad will happen.“ Jessy looked at me serious, fear creeping to her face now „I hope you're wrong.“ I looked at her, that bad feeling kicking me in the gut „Me too, Jessy.“

Jakes POV

Getting in wasnt a problem. We found a door on the side of the building, with the chain that was suppose to keep it closed, cut. Pushing it open, the sound of old doors creaking filled the place, and I cursed under my breath. There goes the element of surprise. It was quite dark inside, barely any light came in from the windows, full of dust, spiderwebs and old newspapers. Dan took his phone out turning the flashlight on and about to light up they way infront of us, but i stopped his hand. „Better not“ i said with hushed voice„We announced our presence enough allready.“ He looked at me, turning the flashlight off and putting the phone back to his pocket. „Right, sorry, man.“ We continued further slowly, letting our eyes adjust to the increasing darkness. The hallway leading us deeper in had doors appearing on each side every few feet, but all the rooms wer empty. I was getting desperate already, when suddenly Dan stopped me, pointing at the doors further in that i couldnt see good from where i stood. I moved to where Dan was, my heart starting to beat faster. There was a flicker of light coming from the doors that were ajar. We moved towards it, still checking the rest of the rooms on the way. Stopping in front of it, Dan slowly pushed the doors, opening them fully. The room was empty, except for a table at the opposite end of it. We moved towards it, Dan turning to me with eyes open wide „What the hell..“ There was a laptop on the desk, a program running on it, with a phone connected to it. But that wasnt what made Dan shocked. What shocked him, and got me boiling with rage wer the pictures thrown all over the desk. Pictures of Maya. One caught my eye immediately. I picked it up from the desk. It was from the day she got out of hospital. Sitting at the square, carelessly lost in her toughts. I knew the picture well, i had similar on my phone myself. I took it secretly, seeing her that day, before going to talk to her. She looked so beautiful, i just couldnt resist. But the tought of someone else was watching her that day, or any other day got me furious. „What the hell is going on here?“ Dan asked, but i was equally confused as him. I lowered the picture down, looking at the laptop in front of me. „Lets see what i can find.“

Dan was nervously tapping his foot standing next to me. „Can you please stop that?“ i told him, a bit annoyed. „Sorry, man.“ He said, constantly turning his head arround, scaning the room . His gaze stopped on the door leading to another room from this one „I'll go snoop arround.“ He started going for the door. „Be careful.“ I said, and he turned to me with a grin „Aww, you care fore me, man.“ I looked at him with a raised eyebrow „No, but i am scared of what Jessy might do to me if something happens to you.“ He laughed and continued towards the door. I focused back on the laptop. I just needed to find one little thing, anything that might shed some light to all of this, my eyes jumping all over the screen. I got interrupted by the noise coming from the room Dan went in. „Dan, you ok there?“ i yelled, my eyes still glued to the screen, but there was no answer. I straightened and turned towards the door. „Dan?“ i tried again, but nothing. Shit, what was he doing there. I walked towards the room. There was some more light pouring in, so i had no problem seeing Dan sprawled on the floor, unconscious. I started to ran to him, but the moment i stepped in, a blow to the head sent me down on my knees. Fuck, how could i just rush in so stupidly. I leaned on my palms, trying to shake off the dizziness. My sight got blurry, as i tried to move my head to look at the person standing above me. „You cant save her, boy. She will die.“ A sinister voice spat the words in my ear, sending chills through me, before another blow sent me face flat to the ground, all going dark on me.

Opening my eyes, Dan was hovering above me, looking worryingly at me. I was laying on my back and my head was pounding like crazy. „Welcome back.“ He said to me, extending his arm to help me up. Getting up just made my head pound even more and i got dizzy. I leaned on the wall steadying myself, Dan eyeing me. „You all right there, man?“ „Yeah, just give me a minute.“ Every move i made just made my head pound more and more. One blow to the head, i could manage. But two is a bit too much. I moved slowly back to the other room, with my shoulder still leaning on the wall. All was gone, the desk was cleared from everything. „Shit“ Dan cursed at the sight. But It didnt matter, there was nothing important on that laptop eitherway. „This means we can finaly leave this shit place?“ he asked. „Definatly.“ I said, taking the car keys from my pocket. „But i think it will be better if you drive.“

It was dark already when we left the building and headed back to the car. I was still feeling dizzy and with my head pounding so badly I had to focus hard not to loose my footing. „What are we gonna tell the girls, man?“ Dan asked as we finaly came to the car. I sat in, lowering the seat back as much as possible „The truth.“ I told him. „Damn it, this wont go easy on them, especialy on Maya.“ He said, as he started driving. The gravel path we took coming here made the car jumpy, and i felt every little stone, my head wanting to explode. „Indeed.“ I was scared how she will take all this. Last time was already hard on her. And this shit got serious now, i just hope she wont loose it completly this time.

„Come on, man.“ Dan said to me, as i opened my eyes, realizing we came back to his place. I got the seat back up, and left the car slowly. We went inside, heading for the kitchen. I heard Jessys voice as she saw Dan „Finaly!“ Maya was already on her feet running to me. She almost knocked me down, crushing full speed at me hugging me tightly. I smiled and hugged her back as tight as i could. She finaly looked at me, her face terrified. „I'm fine.“ I said to her. „Fine?“ she said worringly „That definatly doesnt look 'fine', Jake.“ Her fingers gently brushed the top right side of my forehead, and i vinced. There was a cut I havent noticed by now, with some dried blood arround it. „What happened?“ Jessy asked worryingly, as Dan settled glasses and a bottle of whiskey on the table. „We wer...surprised.“ he told her, as he opened the fridge, taking a bag of frozen vegetables, putting it at the back of his head. I just wanted to sit down, so i started towards the table, but the dizziness got back again. I leaned against the door frame, and just slid down, sitting on the floor. „Jake!“ Maya exclimed, crouching next to me. „I'm fine.“ I reasured her, but i knew she didnt belive me. And lets face it, i wasnt fine. „He needs to lay down“ Dan said „He looks like he might have concussion.“ „You're staying here tonight.“ Jessy said firmly „I'm not letting you drive to the motel now.“ „Indeed.“ Dan added, walking to us. „Alrigh, man“ he said, grabing me under my arm and getting me up. „ Let's get you to bed.“

„Here, drink this.“ I opened my eyes. She looked so worried, her eyes tired. „Im fine, Maya“ i told her, taking the painkillers and water from her. „Can you please stop saying that. You are not fine!“ „I am, now that im back here with you.“ I said smiling, trying to calm her down. „Jake! Can you be serious for a moment, please.“ I looked at her, barely managing to keep my eyes open. „I am serious.“ I said, and before she could say anything more i added „But, can we please talk about all this tomorrow? I could really use some rest.“ She tensed a bit, guilt showing on her face. „Ofcourse, sorry, i'll let you get some sleep .“ She said, taking the glass from me, and getting up. I stopped her, taking her hand, my eyes closing now on their own. „Stay.“ I said, my hand slipping from hers, I barely had any strenght left in me to stay awake. I felt the bed shift, and her hand gently brushing through my hair. She kissed me softly „Sleep now, i'm right here.“ I smiled, falling asleep in a heartbeat.

[propertyofwicked]

a-z of dating will schofield 

(ive kept blake alive bcos im not a monster, and he has sisters rather than daughters :) ) pls request more for me to write i am bored of my half term lol

a- argue 

both of you are fairly neutral people, so you rarely have arguments of significance. when you do however, the aftermath can last anywhere from a few hours to a few days - both of you too stubborn to admit your faults so resorting to silent treatment. the periods of silence ended when one of you couldn’t take it anymore, usually him. he would approach you when you were pre-occupied, take you in his arms and whisper an apology. if that didn’t work, he would begin telling bad jokes, refusing to let you go until you cracked even the smallest of smiles. 

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

will loves your lips. on the one hand, he loves when your whole face lights up in laughter, or perks up with a smile. he loves seeing your lips curl up into a small grin whenever you see him across the street or when you share a look from across busy rooms. on the other hand, he loves how your lips fit perfectly with his. when you get intimate, he loves how they wrap around him and he loves when they fall open to let out the bliss sound of your moans.

c - care (how you care for each other when you’re sick)

when will is ill, he’ll pretend it’s nothing and continue working himself beyond his ability. it’s almost your job to make sure that when he’s ill, he remains in bed - or at least the house - in order for you to keep an eye on him and make sure he stays hydrated and well fed. when you’re ill, he will stay with you as much as he can. before he has to go to work, he’ll place a glass of water and medication next to your bed and put soup into a pot, ready for you to just heat it up when you needed it. when he comes home, he’ll come straight up to you and wrap you in his arms, peppering your face in kisses. he didn’t care if he too got ill - it just meant more time with you. 

d - dates (what do you guys do?) 

you and will weren’t a typically outgoing couple, whilst you both came from money and could afford to splash out - neither of you wanted to. you’d rather stay at home, curled up on a sofa, humming along softly to the murmurs of a record playing softly in the background. he’d play with the rings that adorned your fingers whilst he listened to you talk about anything that came to mind. you listened to him talk, sometimes he’d tell stories of his time in the war - maybe he’d recount something he’d seen or something that blake had told him in passing, he did love to tell stories after all. when you did go all out, it was to celebrate anniversaries or birthdays, and even then, it was a dinner and then a walk home, gazing at the stars. 

e - engagement (how he proposed)

it was on your 7 year anniversary, sometime in early 1922, and you go to a local restaurant to celebrate. something feels different though. as you walked in holding hands, his became clammy and throughout conversation at dinner, he stumbled over his words and found it hard to stay on one topic for more than 5 minutes at a time. on the walk home he takes you down a different street and says he “just wants to show you something”. without questioning him, you follow him and end up at the bench you first met. it wouldn’t be will, if he hadn’t planned out a long speech that built up to the final question but in his stress manage to forget it and resort to just going on one knee and smiling up at you, “i love you, will you marry me?”

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his family adores you. his younger sisters loved to have someone to talk to and someone to braid their hair whilst their big brother was away at war. whilst he was away, his mother loved to have you other for dinner, desperate to have anything the remind her of her son. his dad and you weren’t massively close but there was an aspect of mutual respect. you had many mutual friends as you grew up in the same area, attending local schools and all of them were obviously delighted to see their two friends happy with each other. your parents adored him too, he was the son they never had whilst also being the best thing to walk into your life. 

g - gifts 

will loved to shower you in gifts. they were only little but they were something so deeply special to you. it was weekly flowers, that he’d buy on his way back from work, or maybe a punnet of cherries from the green grocers - he was whipped and you were equally. 

h - how you met

you met when you were 17 and he was 18 in 1915. your town had been holding a small travelling festival consisting of a circus and fun little game stalls. your friends had insisted you go, as it may be your only chance. they didn’t mention though, that whilst there they would be meeting their boyfriends - leaving you alone, wondering around admiring the lights. in your meandering, you bumped into the dusty blond who stood as good head above you. in doing so, you knocked the toffee apple out of his hand, and insisted on buying him a new one with the the remainder of the 10 bob your dad had given you on the way out. you spent the rest of the evening sat on a bench, talking about the stars that shon above until your friends turned up to take you home. 

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down?)

despite his shy outer shell, william schofield was not afraid to show you loving almost every day. can’t sleep? hungry? need to go shopping? this man does not care. if you need anything, he’ll give it to you and god does he know how to work his way around that bedroom. 

j - jealousy

your’re both the jealous type, but not the type to make a public show about it. the pent out anger is usually taken out behind doors if you get what i mean ;) when will gets jealous, he makes sure you know by squeezing your hand harder or moving it over to graze the top of your thigh and he’d play with the ends of you hair. you’re more discreet about it, maybe getting a little argumentative with whoever is making you jealous. 

k - kinks

william schofield - king of praising. he loves to hear you call out his name as much as he likes to make you. if he could spend all day making you shake, he would. 

l - long distance

whilst will was away at war, things got hard. despite only being together 6 months when he left, it was like a piece of you had been torn away, and you spent every day praying for his safe return. but when he did come back on leave, it wasn’t the same as you knew he’d had to leave again and the risk of never seeing him again got more prevalent. sending letters was always hard, often he’d find the small marks where ink had bled from your tears, his heart shutting down to repress his own feelings. his letters went from happy to bland. no emotion, just vague descriptions of his days, his meals - nothing about him and how he was doing. so when the war did finally end and he came back to you, he returned to being the will you had grown to love. 

m - moving in

towards the beginning of the war, you had received a letter from will declaring how the moment he came home, he wanted to make a woman out of you. so when the war finally ended 4 years later, and he returned, the first thing you two did was go on the hunt for a smallish house. you opted to move more into the city as the jobs and travel was considerably better. living together was a dream, though you had to adjust to each others bad habits, and being young and living together meant you had the constant questionings as to when you would start a family of your own.

n - nights out

ofcourse, living in closer to the city provided you with better opportunities for nightlife. friday nights were dancing nights. you two, your friends and partners and whichever girl tom picked up that week would all stumble down to the dance hall and spend hours, drunk dancing to the likes of marrison harris, only to return home at early hours and pass out on the living room floor. 

o - open with each other

at the start of your relationship, will and you were very open with each other, discussing your boundaries and respecting them as such. you would talk about everything, from friends to family to school. but after the war, will became a closed door - refusing to talk about anything that happened whilst he was away, you respected this but wished he’d open up the slightest, just to be able to connect to him in anyway. after a few months, he became the same man he was before he left, just more mature - a look that really suited him. in his months of silence, you opted to fill this by just talking non stop, anything the provoke a reaction. and you’ll never forget when he had not said a word for 3 days after returning and whispered a quick “i love you” as you fell asleep that night. 

p - pda

neither of you were big on over-the-top pda, choosing to just hold hands or accept slight pecks. affection was saved for a private environment around only each other or very close friends. although in crowded areas, will would stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you securely. 

q - questions (what you talk about late at night)

it’s 3am, you can’t sleep, so you roll over and stare will in the face until one eye peaks open. 

“yeah?” he mumbles sleepily.

“do you love me?”

“mhm”

“no say it”

“i love you, now go to sleep, it’s 3am”

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

you’ve always wanted kids, knowing that you grew up mostly alone as a single child. will had also wanted children until he saw what war could do to a child. he feared that he would be putting a potential son at risk by just simply creating him. it took a lot of convincing to retrieve will from the mindset he had fallen trap to, but he eventually did come around to the idea of having his own little family to protect. 

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

he was really bold when you got to know him well enough. on the surface and to people who had not spoken to him, will seemed like a quiet but wise soul. one getting to know him, anyone could realise that he had the sense of humour of a champ and was really outgoing. often, being around tom brought this out in him, challenging to ridiculous games of drunk darts in a dingy pub.

t - together (what you do together)

you just vibe together. sometimes you cook together, other times you sing or you dance along with the wireless - him twirling you around the kitchen was a favourite of his. sometimes you’d read together or to each other and other times you’d go out dancing till early hours of the morning.

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

will and tom were hell to reckon with alone, but when alcohol was thrown into the mix it became a harder battle. you’d opted out of going out one night after a long, tiresome day. this led you to be left to deal with two fully grown men, giggling like school girls in your living room at 2am. will refused to sleep till he had gotten a kiss and tom refused until he was tucked into to bed and sang a nursery rhyme. but quite frankly you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

v - vacations

at it was only the 1920′s, you guys tended not to go abroad. instead you travelled the country, hiking in the peak district and swimming in the sea at cornwall.

w - wedding

you had a small wedding service, attended by family and close friends - and it was absolutely perfect. the service was followed by an evening of dancing and drinking alongside the people you loved most. 

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

it was almost impossible for a man to return from war unharmed, which left will with a weak left hand from a bad experience with barbed wired and then the carcus of a man. some days, it would get so bad, that he was unable to lift a glass in that hand, and on the days, you’d remind him that you were there to help whenever he needed it. whether that meant giving him medication or ringing a doctor, he was constantly reminded of the love you had for him. 

y - you (a random headcannon)

will had left early that morning, saying he’d be home late and not to wait up. you didn’t question it, as often he would travel for his job or go for drinks with tom. for some reason that night you couldn’t sleep without him, so took out his shirt and held it close to you, managing to fall asleep comforted by the smell of him. what a sight that was, for him to walk in a few hours later and find you curled up with his shirt. he had never been more in love with you than at this precise moment. 

z - zzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

you’d be in bed first most nights, after bathing away that days dirt. will would emerge at the bedroom door half an hour later, in just a towel, to gaze at you absorbed into a book and oblivious to his presence. he’d put on his pyjamas and climb in next to you, his arm find his way under your back. this way he was able to pull you in and rest your head on his chest. he’d press a kiss to the top of your head, then tilt your chin up to connect your lips together in a sweet kiss. 

[naomispoetry-blog]

a poem I wrote throughout the weeks fallowing our breakup.

Rereading this, coming from a better place it makes me squirm at how desperately and naively i wanted this to work. spoiler alert.. it didn't.

This isn't real

There's  no way this is real

I close my eyes at night and feel this

Great, overwhelming feeling

That I suppose vaguely reminds me

Of dissatisfaction

A feeling that I can't seem to shake

No matter how many times I turn

Or flip the pillow over

It's a feeling like

I can't fall asleep knowing this was my day

and then I feel trapped because

This WAS my day and I just need sleep

More than ever now I need you

And more than ever you're not fucking here

Not even the rough draft

Not even brainstorming

Just me brushing the clouds

From brain to paper

A living breathing growing poem

A poem that is more like a diary.

It's been 4 days since we slept in the same bed.

It's been 9 days since you loved my body.

Today I took a shower with a bug

The whole time I was worried it would

Fly into my hair or bite my skin

But I needed something to bear witness to the unedited, unfiltered raw truth

That came boiling out of me

As I washed the vomit out of my hair

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you so fucking much I miss you

It's empty now nothing is worth even happening

If I can't at least tell you about it.

I did my makeup today

I did it really well too

You would have thought I look pretty

You're not dead, ofcourse,

 you just don't want to see me

Anyway I sat in front of my mirror today and

just watched as my tears wash it all away

I just sat there and watched

I wanted to soak in my own misery, I guess

Im so fucking lonely.

I saw you for the first time yesterday

I wasn't anywhere near ready but

I needed my wallet

You were pink and you smiled

At me just a little

I didn't smile back

Why the fuck did you have to make it so much harder

I cried the whole way home

I had to make a few detours to

Calm down just a little.

The nights have been really hard

But this morning was even harder

I woke up crying and wondered

How hurt I’d have to get for you to realize

How madly in love you are with me

Are you in love with me?

My nights keep getting longer

Can you sleep at night

I sleep thirteen hours or more

I go to sleep sad and high and lonely

I wake up in a desperate panic  to see you

I wake up and i get out of bed

I have a cup of coffee and i listen to

Music that makes me cry and

I just sit there and cry

Then once my two coffees are all gone

And once my heart has swallowed enough

I wipe that self pity right out of my eyes

I wipe you right off my lips

I make my bed.

I imagined myself giving you this poem

And then maybe you apologize

And tell me you'll never even hurt me again

But, we both know its just a daydream.

Okay, tonight high Maddie’s wants a word

I miss talking to you as my friend

I miss being with you doing whatever

Like I just miss every little thing

You’re soft voice telling me things that make me smile

Your hands (you know how I love your hands) just touching me,

Like I’m so yours and you want me to know

I miss your lips so fucking much

Do you remember how much you loved mine

I know you don’t feel much like

laughing right now,

But when you do, tell me.

I miss laughing with you.

I’ve started collecting things to show you

When we’re friends again

That I believe will be the sweetest

Line in the poem

I saw you at Caitlin's birthday today

But you didn’t see me

Well of course you must have but

I never saw you even glance my way

Did you think I looked pretty

i tried way to hard to impress you.

This weekend I saw you two days

Both we kissed and had lots of sex

We cuddled and I watched you sleep

I didn’t realize the extent of pain

I’ve been in until that sleepy face washed it away

It reminded me how much I love you

How you make me feel safe and happy

How you make me smile like no one else

Being touched by you is a Sunday morning

I want to come home now

Will you ever want me to come home

Will I ever be able to forgive you

Moreover, will I ever be able to trust you

It's been awhile since I’ve written

I see you a few times a week

We've had sex maybe five or

Six times now

Everytime it seems like we're moving

Forward, i say something dumb or

Overstep the line

I'm getting tired of waiting, my love.

I gave you so many chances

I wanted us to be us so badly

I held on to every shred of hope

But you just didn’t love me

Not fully anyway, and I know

Youll think “I did love her

But the relationship wasn’t working”

But that’s not true, is it?

Because if you loved me you

Wouldn’t be so capable of leaving

So capable of just hurting me

Relationships arent perfect and

All of them are hard sometimes

But when both people know they

Truly love one another they fight to

Make it work

I would have waited forever if I

Believed there was something

Worth waiting for

But- the truth is tommy

I don’t want to be half loved anymore

I’m sorry that you felt you didn’t have enough time

I’m sorry that you didn’t like so many of my traits

I’m sorry I was not enough for you

I’m sorry this is so cliche

I’m sorry I let you keep hurting me

-Naomi