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galrakythel · 7 years ago

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re: voltron rewatch marathon

Quick Notes: There may be a lot of stuff under the cut just to keep things cleaner. For this episode in particular, I rewatched it prior to season three (Spoilers for all three seasons.)

01x06: Taking Flight

I’m just going to jump right in to this one. I’m going to discuss some Rolo theor(ies), but I should say that this isn’t my most favorite episode of season one. Although, it’s really the first time we see how Zarkon has damaged most of the universe in terms of suffering and colonization. Even though we see much of that with Shay and her people, Rolo and Nyma really display how broken many people are and how powerless they feel against Zarkon’s regime.

I don’t really know if I bought into the theory of Rolo being Lotor. I know it had been floating around, but it never really stuck with me, maybe because I’m ultimately really disinterested in Rolo (sorry!). The reason I don’t believe the Rolo = Lotor theory is similar to how people kind of cling to any female Galra they see and think she’s Keith’s mom. Not everybody is going to be some espionage unit that is meant to trick the audience. A character is going to be a character. And honestly, this is coming from someone who does cling to every female Galra and is obsessed with figuring out who Keith’s Galra parent or grandparent is.

But that being said, I think it would be too weird if Rolo is just Lotor in disguise trying to round up the Lions. (Edit: I think it’s been established in season three that Lotor has his own motivations when it comes to the Lions and quintessence.) I think Rolo and, by extension, Nyma were meant to be seen as just two people who have had a really difficult life under Zarkon’s reign. They’re at the point where they will do anything to get out from under his rule. They have no allegiance to the paladins or Allura and don’t really seem to care about them either way, besides getting the Blue Lion. And really, can you blame them? They’re in debt to the empire and probably on a most wanted list even if they are petty criminals just doing what they need to do to survive.

And it’s pretty obvious later on in the episode when they call Prorok that they don’t want to be a target of the Galra anymore and they will gain their freedom in exchange for the Lion. But even Prorok shows disgust, or annoyance, with even having to deal with them. I don’t think that’s because Rolo and Nyma are disgusting or annoying, but more because the Galra really think they are above everyone in this specific time period of the Empire. (Edit: I don’t think it was always like that. I mean clearly Zarkon implemented a caste system prior and during the conception of Voltron, but the Empire seemed a bit mellow back than in comparison to the present story.) I’m sure Lotor is half Altean in this continuity; whether Honerva is his mother in this continuity remains to be seen, but I think that Lotor’s most deadliest sin is pride. Even though he wears his helmet probably everywhere, the face he shows to the universe is the one he wants them to remember. I don’t think he cares to shapeshift physically; he can be wily, mentally challenging his opponent instead. He can leave those physical aspects to his strike team. But that doesn’t mean he can’t fight as seen in his fight with Throk. He’s a skilled combatant, it’s just that he has no reason to actually hide. He comes back home when Haggar (i.e. his momma, lol) calls him back. He submerses himself in Galran politics immediately, by having his strike team hide in the shadows and manipulating, while he faces his opponents head on.

This may be more of my own headcanons, but Lotor seems to me like he’s really proud of his lineage and abilities even if his relationship with his father may seem tenuous at best. Even if he would rather go on adventures with his strike team or be in it for the long game with his own agenda (i.e. him sending one of his warriors to harvest scaultrite), he’ll ignore Zarkon and focus on himself. But he’s still proud of his legacy. He’s going to use his name, his father’s name, and his ability as a Galra to get what he wants. He’s pure ambition and he’s not going to let Throk or anyone else stand in his way. I think that’s why Haggar monitors him so closely; she’s aware of his capability and she doesn’t trust him to do what is in Zarkon’s best interest. (Edit: And I’m sorry, but I really can’t help but think that Haggar/Honerva is his mother. I mean she suffered from memory loss and Lotor was happy to do whatever the hell he wanted in the meantime. But that argument they had was just pure familial dysfunction. Dad’s sick in bed, son has to run the family business but wants to do it on his own terms, and the mom is tired of mediating and is just trying to keep shit together.)

With all of that, and I digress back to the main point, why would Lotor want to hide himself? Unless he was just scoping out the competition, which is plausible. But then again, there could have been better and different opportunities than sabotaging his own ship and waiting for who knows how long until the paladins showed up. Anyone could have answered his distress call. And the Galra who met Keith (I believe it’s established as Acxa)... if Acxa debriefed Lotor on the paladins she met, wouldn’t Lotor have requested more intel. He could have sent Ezor as she can cloak herself. If Ulaz can board the Castle of Lions undetected, Ezor surely can, too.

TL;DR I don’t think Rolo is Lotor. Rolo could be a half-breed Galra, but Lotor’s pride would probably keep him from shapeshifting. Especially if it was just to scope out the enemy. He has Ezor for that kind of infiltration. He’d also set a trap and scoop them up, as seen in season three during the rift between realities scene. He set that up so that the paladins would do all the work and than when they were incapacitated he got what he needed and he bounced. But then again, that’s what Rolo did, too.

#voltron liveblogging #*mine #s1 #voltron #meta

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eaglechica19 · 8 years ago

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IS LEONARD CAUL THE MEMORY SNATCHER? (AND OTHER FUN THEORIES FROM 4.19)

@redandlizzie this is for you ;-)

Okay, so pure speculation here, but I wanted to look at this Dr. Krilov guy a little closer and theorize about the bombshell he dropped last night - that he supposedly treated Lizzie a second time two years ago and erased another memory of hers...

Also, were we given the final clue as to who was actually fighting with Lizzie’s bio dad when she shot her father the night of the fire?

Time to go down the rabbit hole again folks :)

So last night we met THIS Blacklister, one “Dr. Bogdam Krilov.”

Red tells Lizzie that Dr. Krilov is able to suppress and change memories from his patients. Red also admits to having hired Dr. Krilov when Lizzie was a little girl in order to help her forget the traumatic experience of killing her father.

So the episode occurs, and by the end, we have Dr. Krilov in FBI custody, with Lizzie questioning him.

Dr. Krilov admits to Lizzie that he did indeed change/suppress her memory from the night of the fire, just as Red stated at the beginning of the episode. But then Krilov tells Lizzie that he has actually treated her a second time, only two years ago...

Krillov: “You don’t remember me, do you?��

Lizzie: “From twenty five years ago? No. But then you wouldn’t be very good at your job if I did.”

Krilov: “No, not twenty five years ago. Just two.”

Lizzie: “What are you talking about?”

Krilov: “You were brought to me by a mutual acquaintance of ours who wanted me to take away certain memories from you.”

Lizzie: “What memories?”

Krilov: “Let’s just say you had uncovered a certain truth about Raymond Reddington and he couldn’t have that.”

Lizzie: “You’re lying.”

Krilov: “No. I’m not lying. And I think you know that. So let’s make a deal. Full immunity. I walk. In exchange for the memories I took from you.”

Lizzie: “That’s not going to happen.”

Krilov: “That is a shame. For all of us. But more so for you than for me, I suspect.”

Lizzie then calls Red and asks him about this supposed second memory suppression, and Red is genuinely confused.

He tells Lizzie that he only ever hired Krilov the one time, when Lizzie was a child. (And Red doesn’t lie to Lizzie.) He wonders outloud if Krilov’s statement to Lizzie about a second session is, for lack of a better phrase, simply a mindf**k by the man, stating, “Kaplan is using Krilov. She’s using him to pull at threads. To continue to unravel my life. He’s sidelined Ressler. He’s trying to do the same to you.”

So from Red’s statements, it sounds like he believes that a second memory session never occurred and that Krilov is simply blowing proverbial smoke.

But I personally don’t think he was. I think Krilov was telling the truth. But if Red didn’t hire him again, then who did? And what major discovery did Lizzie make that someone felt needed to be kept from her?

Let’s look at the options and what criteria needs to be met in order to be that person...

Krilov states that it’s someone who is a “mutual acquaintance” of both her and himself.

This means that it is someone who has been involved in this mystery likely since the very beginning.

It would have to be someone who is very familiar with Red, possibly knowing his “deep secret.”

It would probably be someone who has knowledge of the night of the fire and the Fulcrum.

So who can we check off the list right away?

Tom, Jacob, Christopher, Tim, Whatever Name He Is Using Now

Tom likes to act like he has all the answers, especially when he’s talking to Lizzie in regards to Red, but as we saw when Tom was talking with Jolene Parker (before he killed her), he actually has no idea what the real connection is between Red and Lizzie. I highly doubt he knows Dr. Krilov either. And he definitely doesn’t know anything about the night of the fire or the Fulcrum.

Kate

It also can’t be Kate, as we learned in this episode that even though she was aware of Dr. Krilov from the time Red used him twenty five years ago, she never actually met him before. Krilov himself has no idea who Kate is when she first introduced herself, asking her, “Who are you?” I also don’t think it was Kate for the simple reason that if she was aware of some deep dark secret of Red’s, there is no way she would take that memory from Lizzie in order to keep that quiet. She would use it in order to hurt him and take him down.

Laurel Hitchens (or the Cabal)

Even though it appeared at first that Hitchens was in on the memory manipulation of Ressler last night, we later learned that that was not the case. Laurel had no idea about Kate’s plan to manipulate Ressler’s memory in order to make him go after her and get himself arrested. She also had no idea that Dr. Krilov even existed.

Kate wasn’t doing it as any favor to Laurel though either - she was doing it in hopes of discrediting Ressler and getting him arrested. Him possibly being successful and killing Laurel probably would have been a bonus for Kate, but not of that much importance. And like Kate, I don’t think Laurel or the Cabal knows Red’s deep secret, and if they did, I highly doubt they’d want to keep it under wraps either for the same reason Kate wouldn’t - they want him gone.

(KRILOV ALSO SAID IT WAS A ‘HE’ WHO HIRED HIM...)

Sam

Already dead at this point...

Harold

We have no indication at this time that Harold knew anything about Dr. Krilov before last night. He also doesn’t seem to know the connection between Red and Lizzie yet, so I doubt it’s him. Harold also doesn’t know about the night of the fire - so he’s more than likely out as a possibility as well.

Dom

At this moment, I still don’t think Dom has had any interactions with Lizzie yet, even off screen. I also personally don’t think Dom knows Red’s deep dark secret. Besides, Dom wasn’t even in the story yet two years ago.

Kirk

Neither was he.

So where does that leave us? How about this guy?...

Leonard Caul

Exactly two years ago, we were on episode 2.19 - “Leonard Caul.”

Leonard Caul knows Lizzie. He knows Red. He very well may know Dr. Krilov.

Leonard Caul probably knows about the night of the fire and the search for the Fulcrum, as he was the one who created it, and more than likely created the interface for it too. He is also obviously aware of the damning files that are contained on it.

Like Red, Caul had to disappear after the events of the Fulcrum, as the Cabal was after him as well because of what it contained. (Caul isn’t even his real name, but is an alias used to help him hide.) He has been in hiding for decades, and the Cabal is still after him, as we saw by his slashed throat and missing finger.

While he may not have known Red personally until this episode, we learned in in 2.19 and the subsequent episodes that both Caul and Red had a mutual association through Alan Fitch.

Alan Fitch told Red before he died to go to his safe in St. Petersburg. Once there, Red located a business card with a phone number on it. We later learn that the phone number connects Red with Leonard Caul.

Caul tells us that Fitch wanted Red and him to meet once he learned that he was being “outed” from the Cabal. He knew his time was running out. In my opinion, Fitch was always sort of rooting for Red.

Somehow, (as this part still remains a mystery) Red knows the location of the mysterious limousine hidden under the Kenyon family compound AND has the key for it.

There is some speculation that Red knows the location for the car and has the key for it because it is the car that he used to drive while spying on Katerina and Lizzie’s father while working undercover at the Summer Palace.

That theory can found here.

And for that theory to work, you must be on board with one of the “Imposter Red” theories as well.

Which can be found here: “Red Is An Imposter” Theory

And here: “Lizzie’s Father Stole Red’ Identity” Theory (This will be posted and linked hopefully in the next day or so)

Red gets into the driver’s seat and the car starts right up, even though it looks like that battery should have died years ago. Inside the trunk Red finds the interface for the Fulcrum.

Red already has the key for the interface, as he somehow knew that it was located on the property of Maddox Beck in “The Front.”

In “Leonard Caul,” after Red is shot, Dembe sends Lizzie to Red’s secret apartment to retrieve the key from his desk. As she is leaving however, she is confronted by Caul, who tells Lizzie that if she trusts Red, she’ll give him the Fulcrum. Lizzie does, and Caul shows her the files located on the device. Caul is obviously on Red’s side at this point.

Now here’s the interesting thing... We know from Caul’s own words that he created the Fulcrum. (We still do not know however, how or where he retrieved all of this damning evidence on the Cabal, why he felt the need to personally create the device that could store all of those files, or who told him to make it.)

We also know that Lizzie’s father seemed to have been the one who stole it all those years ago as we saw in the flashback fire scenes... (It is more than likely Lizzie’s father who hid her in the closet that night. He also put her stuffed bunny in her arms - the bunny that contained the Fulcrum which Lizzie later found while in her motel room.)

In ‘Luther Braxton, Part II,’ we learn that both Red and Katerina went to his house in Cape May to not only find Lizzie, who had been taken from the Summer Palace, but to retrieve the Fulcrum as well. That night turned into the night of the fire.

By this point if you still believe Red is Lizzie’s father, you’re already out of the game and should just stop reading...

So if Lizzie’s father initially stole the Fulcrum as we have been led to believe, isn’t it possible that he stole it from the creator - Leonard Caul?

Now here’s where the Imposter Theor(ies) comes into play...

If Lizzie’s father was the one who stole it from Caul, then Caul may very well know the secret that Lizzie somehow figured out (off screen apparently) about Red.

Either that:

1. Her father stole OUR Red’s identity all those years ago and Red has been trying ever since to use Lizzie to find out the truth about what happened to his family and clear his name and/or seek revenge

2. OUR Red is in fact an imposter who took over the real Raymond Reddington’s identity (after Lizzie killed him the night of the fire) in order to keep Lizzie safe from the Cabal and possibly Russia

More Evidence Pointing To Caul Knowing The ‘Truth...’ About Red:

LEONARD CAUL NEVER CALLS RED BY HIS NAME. EVER. HE ‘REFERS’ TO HIM BY NAME TO OTHER PEOPLE (LIKE LIZ), BUT NEVER DIRECTLY ADDRESSES RED HIMSELF, AS EITHER RED, RAYMOND, OR REDDINGTON ON SCREEN.

We also see Red and Caul working together to help Lizzie against the Cabal while Red is recovering from his gunshot wound over the next several episodes. It can assumed that they are still working together.

He also has apparently been keeping tabs on both Red and Lizzie for quite some time, maybe well before the events we witnessed in 2.19.

In closing, if Caul is truly helping Red to try to take down their common enemy of the Cabal, and he figured out Red’s ultimate secret, he may have worried that Lizzie knowing the truth about Red would put Red at a severe disadvantage in trying to complete his mission, whatever that ultimate mission is.

Now HOW or WHEN did Lizzie supposedly figure out this secret of Red’s?

We haven’t been told yet. But think about this... We did not get to see everything that transpired between Lizzie and Caul in Red’s apartment in 2.19. Most of that happened off screen. Caul could have either accidentally let Red’s secret slip, thinking Lizzie was already aware of it, or perhaps there was something in the Fulcrum or Red’s apartment that tipped her off or triggered a real memory. We simply don’t know. And as of now, like I said above, this theory is complete speculation on my part and has no real evidence proving it.

It IS interesting however to hear Dr. Krilov’s final words to Lizzie during their interaction.

Krilov tells Lizzie he is willing to give her back her stolen memories in exchange for immunity. Lizzie tells him that that’s “not going to happen.” Krilov laments that that is unfortunate, probably more so for Lizzie than anyone else. I think this is a clue that IF this is what the big secret is about Red, (that somehow either her father or Red is an imposter) we won’t find out for quite some time, as TPTB have told us that the connection between Red and Lizzie won't be revealed until the end of the series.

Now off to a more tangent thought regarding the original memory that Red hired Dr. Krilov to suppress...

We know from past episodes that Red had Lizzie’s memory from the night of the fire suppressed in order to protect her from the knowledge that she shot and killed her father.

But last night we learned something new. Dr. Krilov doesn’t just suppress memories, he ALTERS them. This is something that Dr. Orchard warned Lizzie about in ‘Luther Braxton, Part II.’

In the flashback scenes in 2.10 we see Lizzie walking down the hallway towards the open window. At this point you can see two men fighting. The one on the left seems to be wearing a fedora.

Lizzie is then confronted by her younger self, who tries to turn Lizzie away. Lizzie persists, and her younger self runs off screaming down the hall. Lizzie then wakes up and states that she has just seen her father. (This would indicate that Red and her father were the ones fighting in front of the open window.)

Next we have another flashback scene of Lizzie in the hallway approaching the open window again.

We see Lizzie struggling against someone in the hallway who is blocking her path. We are shown present day Red talking to Lizzie, while Lizzie stares at the person in front of her in the flashback. She seems to recognize the person.

She then struggles against the person in the hallway while in the present day, she pushes against Red who is in front of her.

The person blocking her path in the hallway in her flashback is Katerina. You can clearly see the long hair and figure of a woman pushing against Lizzie.

Lizzie looks past Katerina and again sees two men fighting, and just like in her other flashback, we see one of those men wearing a fedora.

In the next part, the two men are still fighting in front of the open window while little Lizzie looks on. We can hear Katerina yelling at someone to “stop,” and “get away.” (For now we are to presume she is yelling this at little Lizzie).

We also hear her father yell “Don’t tempt me!” Meanwhile, present day Red is still trying to turn Lizzie back down the hallway. We see grown Lizzie push past Katerina, followed by little Lizzie screaming.

This is immediately followed by a gunshot and the image of a man putting on a fedora while walking away. Little Lizzie then runs off down the hall to hide in the closet again.

So at this point in the series we are led to believe that Red and Lizzie’s father were fighting in front of the open window while Katerina held little Lizzie back. A gunshot then went off, followed by Red walking away and Lizzie running off down the hallway.

(NOTE: YOU ONLY REALLY SAW THIS FOOTAGE IF YOU SLOWED IT DOWN AND LIGHTENED IT UP, SO I DON’T THINK IT’S SOMETHING TPTB TRULY THOUGHT MOST VIEWERS WOULD SEE CLEARLY.)

Fast forward to 2.22 and we get a new flashback from Lizzie...

When Lizzie shoots Tom Connolly, it triggers a new memory of that night.

Lizzie remembers that she shot her father the night of the fire. She tells Red that she was in the hallway and saw her parents fighting. Her father was hurting her mother, Katerina, and so she picked up the dropped gun and shot him.

So now the question becomes... which memory is the REAL memory, and which is the ALTERED one?

We’ve been led to believe that the real memory is of her parents fighting in front of the open window, because this is the most recent version we have been shown. It is also the one that Lizzie truly seems to ‘remember’ after it is triggered by her shooting of Connolly. But perhaps that is not the case. Perhaps the actual real unaltered memory is the FIRST one we were shown, of Red and Lizzie’s father fighting. This would explain Red’s terrified expression in both 2.10 and 2.22.

Let’s revisit Red’s reaction when Lizzie is reliving her memories in ‘Luther Braxton, Part II’ first.

Red tells Lizzie, “You don’t want to see this. What you want to see, what you need to find, is the Fulcrum.” As present day Lizzie gets more and more agitated, Red becomes nervous, telling her, “Lizzie, turn around. Go back. You don’t want to go in there. Lizzie, turn around and go back. Go back. Go back.”

After the gunshot goes off, Lizzie begins to ‘wake up.’ Red now looks terrified, asking Dr. Orchard...

Red never really finds out what she saw in this scene... only that Lizzie remembers that he was there that night. She doesn’t confront him about supposedly seeing him fighting with her father, so maybe she doesn’t actually realize what she had seen in her memory. Red seems to have decided to let the issue drop at this point, possibly hoping that his secret is safe.

Flash forward again to 2.22 when Red goes to meet Lizzie in the park after she shot Connolly.

Lizzie tells Red, “I remember. I remember everything.”

Red looks terrified at this point. He asks her, “Remember what?”

Lizzie: “The night of the fire. I know what happened. And I understand why you didn’t want me to find out.”

At this, Red looks like a doomed man. Lizzie knows his secret. He is waiting for the hammer to fall.

He literally gulps and has a grimace on his face. He believes Lizzie is about to accuse him of being the reason her father is dead. He is literally bracing for the fall out.

Lizzie: “When I shot Connolly, when I pulled the trigger, it came back to me. It was like I was there. I could hear them arguing. He was hurting her. And I know why my father died that night. I shot him.”

At this, Red seems crestfallen, but relieved. You can see him physically relax at her recollection.

Lizzie continues, “That’s why you blocked my memory. Not to protect yourself. To protect me.”

Red has a shameful look on his face, and mumbles quietly, “Yeah.” He looks beyond guilty at this point.

After last night’s episode, and learning that Lizzie’s memory was not simply suppressed, as Red as told her, but was actually altered by Dr. Krilov, I believe Lizzie has it wrong. Her first memory (the one ironically that she apparently didn’t really ‘see’ clearly in 2.10) was the correct one and that it was in fact Red and her father fighting, and NOT her parents fighting, as she remembered in 2.22.

I always gave Red the benefit of the doubt that the reason he seemed so concerned with Lizzie turning around in the hallway in 2.10 and why he seemed so distraught at the end of 2.22 was because he was simply afraid of Lizzie finding out she killed her father and her having to live with that guilt. But I now think that is only part of it. Red feels guilty because HE was the one fighting with Lizzie’s father when she pulled the trigger and killed her dad, NOT Katerina.

By altering her memory of this event, he succeeded in accomplishing two things:

He is now no longer a part of the original memory, thus he can hide the fact (at least from Lizzie for now) that he is somewhat responsible for her father’s death by her hand.

By replacing himself with Katerina in the memory, it alleviates some of the guilt Lizzie would feel for killing her father. Shooting the man hurting your mother sounds much less harsh than shooting your father while he fights essentially a stranger.

So while I think the fact that Lizzie shot and killed her dad remains canon, I personally believe her memory of it being a fight between her parents is false.

This may have been what has led to all of the guilt felt by Red through the years. The killing of Lizzie’s father led to Katerina’s apparent suicide, thus robbing Lizzie of both of her parents, making Lizzie feel completely responsible for it.

And while technically Red isn’t lying when he tells her again and again that she killed her father and that that’s why he suppressed her memory, he also is intentionally omitting the fact that he was more directly involved than she realizes.

He tries to alleviate some of her misguided self blame (and consequently his own guilt for putting it all on her) by telling her again and again, “You were a child.”

I personally do not think this is the ultimate secret that Red is keeping from Lizzie, (as he has admitted similar bad things to her in the past after she has confronted him about them) and I also do not believe this is what the person removed from Lizzie’s memory two years ago but I think it IS an important one.

(If it WAS Caul who removed the memory, I don’t think he would know who exactly was fighting with Lizzie’s dad that night. That’s a VERY specific thing to know unless you were there.)

If this proves to be true, (that Red was the one fighting with her father instead of it being her mother as she remembers) it essentially led to a snow ball effect of horrible events for Lizzie through the years.

Just one more thing for Red to feel guilty about.

Anyways, those are my thoughts... hopefully if some of you actually read this far, you enjoyed it. And as usual, I’d love to hear your ideas and discussion on it!

Thanks as always!!!

#theblackist #nbcblacklist #james spader #megan boone #raymond reddington #elizabeth keen #red reddington #imposter theory #leonard caul #4.19 #the real memory #what is red hiding?

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kuyamari · 8 years ago

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W I P

To whom who may concern Chapter 1 An Introduction Raven suddenly came to me and asked "Don't you love her? Why aren't you doing anything?" "She is who she is and I am who I am, there is no changing that. Besides, it was already too late to get to know her. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could but it's already time for us to go separate paths. I mean, I got all the opportunity before but I blew it. I screw up big time. Um I guess I didn't listen to those guys but it's my fault for believing them and doubting myself." I said "Why don't just try?" He replied "Well...I don't think I'm the one she is looking for, heck, I don't even have the balls to say hi! I mean...yah know...I'm just scared" To be exact I am afraid I might just hurt her knowing I'm not really a nice guy. Mike stares at me with dismay and he said " Dude...you're hopeless." " Nah I don't know..." But deep inside, well fuck off Raven I am shy extremely shy. And so I let another day die out without even trying. Having a routine like this is kinda tiresome but I'm used it. I spent the whole time hiding but hey it's not like I'm a fugitive or something, its just there is a girl I really like but I can't do anything but remain silent and avoid her, sometimes I felt I'm kinda rude to her. Well I kinda confessed already that I like her but I am really ashamed I did it on a text message rather personally. What can I do? It's hard to be confident if you know you don't have one or rather you know it's a losing battle even before it started. And all of the sudden a voice said "Well let us trace the cause of your so called shyness" "The hell are you" I asked "I am your subconscious" he answered. Well I didn't know my subconscious is an asshole "I heard that" "Heard what?" I asked because seriously what the fuck. "Hey, let's keep it PG down here" He said I'm not quite sure what's going on and on what narrative this shit called but I don't like it. I'm pretty sure I'm telling the story from my point of view. "Well I am your point of view, subconsciously." ladies and gentlemen my subconscious is a smart ass. "Unfortunately this would be more funny if this is written as a comic book." he said. Well that is not the problem if the freaking author is not a lazy ass and start drawing. "He can't" he said. And I replied "Why not?" "Because you are the and author." he said as he laugh his ass off. Seriously he is annoying just like me but worse. Can things can get anymore worse? "It sure can" he said and in my mind would just say "Well fuck my life." Chapter 2 Hi I'm... Hi! my name is Edward. There isn't that much to say about me but all you need to know that I am a coward. Well not that I always runaway from a fight it's more of a I always runaway and get discourage in expressing what I feel to the person I really like maybe because I am scared to say the wrong thing or maybe if she get to know me she might not like me for who I am because believe me I am wierd and quite rude and an asshole myself. Helena isn't the first woman I liked but let's just say it ended seemingly the same way. I didn't do anything to be with them all I did is runaway and sulk on the corner. Maybe part of it is discouragement from my friends. But now let's talk about Marie, the first woman I liked. It was back in my highschool days, we were classmates and on the third quarter of the school year I was happy because the class adviser assigned me to sit right next to her. To be honest, sitting right next to her is pure happiness I get to know her more and talk to her. The best thing that happened to me is also the worst, It was a day after Valentines I gave her a gift since didn't have one for her on the day itself. I gave her a cupcake, She was reluctant at first in accepting the gift and said that i could give her the cupcake before going home since we were sit right next to each other. It was already dismissal, She didn't left the room and it seems She is waiting for someone. As I left the room someone from another section went in and walked straight to Marie, his name was Noel and as I peak through the window, I saw them sharing the cupcake I gave to Marie. The two of them looked so sweet to each other the sight of it had me broken, I know it was my fault because Noel is Marie's friend and suitor. Me? Maybe calling me "honeybunch" almost everyday is a way to tease me maybe she figured out that I have a crush on her. But on that day little did I know that sight cost me so much. Chapter 3 Helena Well Helena for unknown reasons is quite popular among men, there are many who has a crush on her maybe only science can answer it but I'm no scientist so I cannot answer that but one things for sure, her smile is the brightest among them all. Don't get me wrong, I don't know her that well but she always stand out whenever she is there. She is the a avarage height of the woman in our country. I've seen a lot of woman before compared to them she is not that beautiful don't get me wrong she is pretty, yes, but the simplicity of her face is what makes her standout very well among them combined with her very charming smile, she is ready to kill, figuratively. "Hey, I told you tell her already how you feel!" said Raul " And in what womderful reason do I have to do that?" replied Edward " Well, you like her don't you?" " Well yeah I do..." " Then do it! I know tell her during Valentines day give her something" Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Footage not Found We were already drunk that night, the five of us, well technically four because Anthony is tending to his girlfriend who is unknown reason crying because of a moisturizer. So what we did is we went to their room and bring his shot there. We were even laughing our ass of seeing his situation. "We ran out of Gin." said Mike "Let's go buy another." replied George "And let's document everything we do on the why 'coz we might not remember it" said Mike Mike went to theor room and ee to join us and asked Rupert who is fortunately awake that time to document the dumbassery we might do. As we walk the quiet road of the province we started making noise like we own the place making rude remarks about certain things. We were like hooligans that time, so wild and free roaming the streets. I was holding a stick and wielding it like a goon people who might saw us might think we were part of a gang of some sort. We don't mind because no one will recognize us there since we are just tourists. We saw the place's plaza amd we started taking awkward pictures of us in the dark. We were supposed to go there in the morning but we were already there early. At the landmark of the plaza where we took our photo we sr started shouting things about the persons we like and love. "I love you Meg!" shouted Anthony "Ilove you Helena!" shouted Mike I wasn't surprised when i heard it because everytime I see them they were together it's seems that Helena is very dependent to Mike. Jake followed by shouting "I like you---" he cutted it with a clap Jokes on him I know who is he reffering to. George followed by doing the same thing Jake did. " I love you!" I shouted " To whom who may concerned " "That's it?" asked Mike and George "Yep, that's it" I replied " I don't have anything to say anyway" But deep inside, their are so many things I wish I could say to Helena knowing I am already drunk that time their is no thinking what I could say and knowing Mike also has feelings for her and always ayot her side I am confident that Helena will be just fine with him. We continued the night walking the streets and finally made it to an open store and bought another bottle of Gin to spend the rest of the night waiting for the sun to rise. Things started quite unfortunate for me because I started to vomit due to the volume of alcohol we drank. And to think everything that happend that time was taken was documented who knows what might happened when the others watched the video. Chapter As Edward walk the road alone in the dark he kept on thinking, what went wrong? Is it just because of hime being scared all the time or was it the girl? He kept on thinking. Maybe, instead of getting the right encouragement, he got the right discouragement. Instead of saying good things about her, some of his friends decided to say bad things about her just to use your use to be love for her into hate to assist them in their vendetta against her and her friends. Is it really too late? Can he go back? Is waliking in the sidelines all I can do The Last Flag And how should we end this short story of a boy yet to be a man who is so scared to say how he actually feels to the person he like or should I say love? There are many ways to end it, we could say the boy move on and found another girl in which we vowed not to repeat the same mistake he omitted. If so? How in the world will I the author of the story write it? They could have met somewhere. At a convention perhaps knowing the boy is a some sort of a wierd geek. They both could have possess the same hobby or perhaps interests. For sure they could get along really well but is she really what the boy wanted? Is it the same feeling of falling for someone accidentally? Falling for someone for reasons that even scientists cannot even explain, even I is not sure how things like that could have happen. As the author of this story let's give it a try on how the story could have ended, we'll atleast for once they could have ended together here in this story because knowing the boy we is prone to giving up and doubting himself. Well let's say the boy suddenly became brave enough to talk to the girl in the earliest chance possible. he started talking to her, getting to know her more so he could fall for her more. Ask her out on dates perhaps? Helping her out in anyway possible, making good use of himself knowing he himself is quite useless at times. Even in my wildest imagination maybe only a miracle or perhaps the holy spirit migjt be the only thing that could help the boy, Why you may ask? Well let's just say I know the boy very well.

#story #i'm bored #life

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