#kaeran lavellan

[reaping-cain]

A Rocky Start

I partially blame @slothquisitor for encouraging the notion that Cullen could be a curler. Modern verse with magic, where Cullen “Curly” Stanton Rutherford is a seasoned Olympic athlete and gets paired with newcomer Kaeran Lavellan for the first ever mixed doubles curling. As if there’s not enough tension, there’s an added chill to the air when the two are on the ice.

“Can you even lift one of those rocks?” He frowned, slightly concerned. 

Not this shit again. 

She sized up the rocks, testing the handle of one before reaching for the third one. Always the third. It wasn’t superstition, just a habit. A compulsion, Rhona would tease her. Nevertheless, the third. Always. 

Kaeran tested the heft, bending her knees before rising with the rock in hand, its handle digging in her palm; it was a comforting feel that she had grown to love. 

She glared at the shem who was to be her partner over her shoulder, pausing to prove her point. Her arm began to tremble but she controlled it as much as possible. The last thing she needed was to give him an ounce of satisfaction, though judging by his raised brows and the slight slack jaw she saw that she proved her worth.

When she had first started her hands fiercely ached for days. Now, all she felt was a tingle and would flex the static away without a pinched look on her face.

Just as gracefully, she lowered herself to let go of the rock and it gently clicked with another. She might as well have thrown it with force, the arena was as still as the grave and the click echoed softly.  

“We start training tomorrow and I better not have to drag your ass out of bed myself, Rutherford.” 

Normally she’d be friendlier but Rutherford had struck a nerve and she had already started the day with little patience. Better to nip that kind of dismissive behaviour in the bud. Kaeran could have shut him up differently but at least two of her options were against regulations and she didn’t want to deal with the Olympic committee and possible punishment. Besides, it was always satisfying showing off her skills and making her critics question everything. Including critical Olympic veterans. 

Heading out with a small grin on her lips, she refused to feel bad; too many times she’d let her guard down and she swore that it wouldn’t ever happen again. He may be her partner for this farce of an event but she was only in it for the prestige and the shot of winning gold. For all she knew, the mixed doubles event wouldn’t happen in the next Olympics. 

And she didn’t doubt Rutherford’s abilities, she had seen him in previous Olympics; Kaeran conceded that he was extremely skilled and that he had a few tricks up his sleeves, but so did she.

She was going to prove that she didn’t get in the team because she was different. She earned her damn spot with tears, sweat, spit and blood. 

And she wasn’t going to pass the opportunity to show the world just what a Dalish elf could accomplish. 

[slothquisitor]

Fanfic Writer Appreciation

I know I’m going to forget someone. I did last year, and I’m just making the assumption it’ll happen again this year. So I’m going to lead by saying this is an incomplete list of amazing writers. Writing is kind of a funny thing because it is so difficult to share. There’s a vulnerability about putting our writing out there for other people to see, and I think that everyone deserves to be recognized for the act of bravery that it is to share writing. Writing is often just so intensely personal because we’re sharing how we feel and view the world, and we share our writing with the quiet hope that someone else reads and understands. I think that’s why there’s a community that forms around writing, and I consider myself to be very lucky in that I’ve found some amazing writers and friends in this little corner of fandom. I really apologize if I forget someone, but know that even if I did, I salute you in that act of bravery that is pushing the publish button and sharing your work with us. 

@thesecondsealwrites Seal’s writing inspires me. Her writing makes me want to write. It’s beautiful and emotional and she creates such amazing characters that you just fall in love with. I will always want to read more of Seal’s writing, no matter what it is. I’m linking her writing page because you need to read everything, and then when you’ve fallen in love with her go read her original novel, Carry it Even.  Pssst...the second is coming out this fall and I promise it’s AMAZING. 

@lechatrouge673 I’ve said this before, but The Stories We Tell Ourselves was the first fanfiction I read for DA. It was long before I was on tumblr, and I didn’t even leave comments because I didn’t know that was a thing people did. It will forever hold a very special place in my heart. LeChat’s writing is beautiful, but I’ve been really loving Songs Forgotten and Remembered. There is so much soul in this piece, and I know it’s hard to share that much of yourself in writing, but it’s amazing. Also she loves sloths, and I’m convinced that only really amazing people love them. 

@saibrarutherford Everyone needs a Sai in their life. She’s lovely and kind and just a really wonderful friend. I’m so grateful for Sai, and her endless enthusiasm. She had a rough summer, and is still cheering folks on and just generally being amazing. I’ve got a soft spot for the crack fic, but my favorite is really The One Who Will Live On. I’ve loved every update so far, and just so in awe of how much heart each update has. 

@littlesnowarrow Snow is incredible and sweet. Writing fic is good and all, but can you imagine writing it in something other than your native language? The Art of Hunting Real Rabbits is beautiful, and even more so because I know that must have taken so much work. And you don’t put in that much work unless you’re so passionate about it, and I just feel like it shows. Also Snow’s the best. Period. 

@reaping-cain Batty is amazing. She has a great looking Lavellan, Kaeran and writes one of my favorite modern AUs. Cullen and Kaeran are roommates and they’re in a fake relationship. I MEAN COME ON. Why aren’t you reading this right this second? Single Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion. There’s a link. I made it easy for you. Also, is it super selfish that I’m really excited for Batty to finish her thesis because maybe that means more fic? It probably is. I’m not sorry, it’s that good. 

@kagetsukai So I feel the tiniest bit late to the party here, but Dance Like No One is Watching is awesome and I love it. It’s sweet and awkward and HOT. Cullen learning to dance, major crush on his instructor, need I say more? Also Kagetsukai is lovely and kind and leaves such wonderful comments. Also, I’m pretty sure that she could take me out in real life. BADASS.

@ellenembee‘s The Revelation of All Things gives me life. It’s a retelling of Inquisition with Evana Lavellan. The characterizations are spot on, and every update is wonderful. I read the last update twice, and I don’t care who knows it. 

@mysdrym Is such an incredibly great writer friend. I’ve been so grateful to her for reading over things every so often. She’s currently working on the next installment of Tales of Mysdrym (which is currently on my nightstand for my bedtime reading). Also Andraste’s Witch is one of my favorites. The voices of all the characters are just so strong, and her OC Finley is one of my favorites. So original. GO READ!

@valammar Sing With Me I will love forever and ever and ever ever. This Modern AU is clever and Neb is my favorite. And Cole is a cat. It’s one of those fics you just go back to because it’s that good. But all of Valammar’s writing is beautiful. All of it. 

@halfblood-fiend FIEND! She’s been working on her novel which I’m sure is going to be amazing, but Rylen and Keram for life man. Follow this link and do yourself a favor and read it all. 

@novamm66 Is it really fair to be that good at art and also be able to write? I don’t know, but the pic lit series is one of my favorites. Kiaya is a lovely OC, and I’m eagerly awaiting the next update. 

@sloth-race Again, another insanely talented artist AND writer. The Art of Love is still a favorite of mine, and every time their art appears on my dash I get so excited. It’s sweet and lovely and just keep doing amazing! 

@omnipotentoverlord wrote one of my favorite AU’s, A Cullenite’s Guide: How to be Inquisitor it’s wonderful and original. Cullen shows up in our world and Cora is wonderful, but she’s not Inquisitor and chaos ensues. It’s finished and it’s awesome. 

Fanfic is something we write just out of pure love of characters and worlds, and I think you all deserve so much love for all your contributions and for sharing. Happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day! 

[ma-sulevin]

Fan Fic Writer Appreciation Day!

Time to participate!! I’m going to recommend some of my favorite fics and tag their authors (because I love the authors). These are all stories I’ve read multiple times and definitely think are worth the read:

*cracks knuckles* Here we go.

Eye of the Storm by @seabirdsong (rating: E, Cullen/Hawke, complete)

The first story that pushed me down the Cullen/Hawke rabbit hole, and such a well written story that I think I read it like four times. It amazing and the smut is A+. The sequel is already written and completed, and it’s wonderful too! 

The Lion of Skyhold by @cometeclipsewriting (rating: E, Cullen/Lavellan, complete)

Uhh... actually I recommend everything by her. The stories are always so unique and well written and she’s a very sweet person!

Andraste’s Witch by @mysdrym (rating: n/a, Cullen/OC, currently updating)

This is a really fun story where the Inquisitor isn’t a mage from Ostwick or a Lavellan Keeper. She’s (allegedly) a witch of the wilds and her story just gets more interesting as it unfolds!

Marigolds in the Hanged Man by @redinkofshame (rating: M, Varric/OC, complete)

I almost never read stories where Varric is the love interest because I feel like he’s my dad? But this one is SO good and unique and clever.

Neither Angels, Nor Demons, Nor Powers by @long-liv-prairies (rating: E, Cullen/OC & Solas/OC, complete)

An epic slowburn that’s just delicious. I recommend this story and the sequel, and generally just giving Liv a follow because she’s the best person.

Part of Your World by threehundredthirtythree (rating: E, Alistair/Amell, currently updating) - I’m not sure if they have a tumblr, but if you know it, let me know so I can tag them! And also follow.

This story is so good and I always get so excited when it updates--which is probably once a week? The writer as a way of getting into characters’ heads and making me feel sympathy for them that I never do during the game. She’s a really good writer.

As the World Falls Down by @khirsahle (rating: E, Cullen/Trevelyan, complete)

This is one of the first stories I read when I got into the DA fandom, and it’s really stuck with me. It’s worth multiple reads and its sequel is complte too. Khirsah also has a story called Fire, Walk With Me that inspired Part of Your World about soulmates.

A Whole New World by @roguelioness (rating: E, Solas/OC, currently updating)

Another story by a good friend! This was the first incomplete story that I started reading, and one of the first MGITs I read, and now RoLo and I are buddies. It’s a little bit of a darker fic, so mind the tags! It’s such a smart look on the MGIT thing, and it’s unique, and I’m always impressed by the little details that RoLo notices and includes!

How to Win Wars and Influence Nobles by @kaoruyogi (rating: E, Cullen/OC, currently updating)

Again, I really recommend everything by Kaoruyogi. She’s so smart and clever and her stories are just amazing. The smut is also top-notch too!

In Love, Serenity by @ladydracarysao3 (rating: E, Cullen/OC & Hawke/OC & Barris/OC, currently updating)

I always get really excited about this one too! Aurora is my child. It’s such a complex story that really delicately balances three distinct OCs with their unique backstories... I just eat it up. LadyD also has a story she writes with Liv that combines their two OCs (Abner and James) and they just do it all over the place. It’s some very nice smut.

Single Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion by @reaping-cain (rating: M, Cullen/Lavellan, currently updating)

This story hits two of my biggest trope loves: “pretend relationship” and “oh my god they were roommates.” It’s very cute and I can’t wait to find out more about Kaeran! I think it’s on hold for a bit while the author finishes up her thesis, but I think she’s picking it back up soon (I hope... hint hint)

The Art of Love by @sloth-race (rating: E, Cullen/Lavellan, complete)

One more work by a friend, and again I recommend all of her stuff. I think this is one of the first stories I read when I got into DA, and I still really like it. It holds up to multiple reads and it’s just cute.

Dance Like No One is Watching by @kagetsukai (rating: E, Cullen/Lavellan, complete)

A story by a new friend, this one is really sweet! It’s a fun little modern AU that apparently has some Big Things happening in the background. Shan also has a MGIT that’s a cute, fun read!

Reparation by @slothquisitor (rating: M, Cullen/Lavellan, complete)

Okay... honestly, for a long time, I was afraid to read this one because I misunderstood the summary and thought it was about Cullen being dumped. When I finally read the summary again and gave it a shot, I really loved it. It’s ALL about Cullen opening his templar sanctuary and falling in love with the (mage) healer he hires to help him. She has another story called A Class Act that’s a modern au starring the same characters, and it’s also amazing!

I... don’t think that’s everyone. But it’s everyone I can think of right now!

[reaping-cain]

67) “Don’t look at me like that.”

This was sent a month ago ;A; apologies for the delay!

I thought of this cute modern apartment au where Cullen and Kaeran are neighbours who wage petty wars against the other. Meanwhile the other tenants in the 6plex are begging them to stop or are rooting for certain sides.

Cullen x Kaeran (modern rivals!au) 1837 words

Cullen had the day off from work and if he was honest with himself, it was a Makersend. Too many long hours, endless meetings and deadlines and troubled sleep made him feel like a walking corpse. Unfortunately for him, it was impossible to go back to sleep. He thought about spending the early morning reading in bed with a hot mug of tea. He couldn’t even remember the last time that he indulged in something so simple.

With nothing to do but wait for the water to boil, Cullen leaned against the window looking on to the backyard and shared garden space. The summer had odd weather but Josephine, the owner of the building, still managed to make the garden flourish. Though Cullen seriously doubted he had the gift of a green thumb, he still appreciated the sight of various flowers and their fragrances. Josephine had even planted lavender for him and saw to drying the buds for his personal consumption. He hadn’t expected that kindness and reciprocated by baking her a batch of his mother’s butterscotch cookies.

Moving into this small community had been one of the best decisions he had made. The last two years being some of his best years in recent memory and it helped that he didn’t feel so lonely. He had a longstanding rendez-vous with Dorian every Wednesday evening to play chess and trash talk. He also got to know Dorian’s boyfriend who insisted on being called The Iron Bull (“But you can call me ‘Bull’, all close friends do”). Cullen always enjoyed picking Bull’s brain about anything from military history and workout routines to baked goods.

He also got to know Sera. His first impressions of her were…explosive. Yet as time went by, their interactions evolved from her shouting “Oi, you!” to her smuggling jars of homemade honey (the lid was always sticky) to his kitchen table. At first it bothered him how she managed to get into his place and despite the number of times he’s asked her to stop doing it, he resigned himself that as long as nothing else was done to his place (or anything stolen) that having a free supply of the liquid gold appear at random was a small price to pay. He leaves handwritten cookie recipes for her to consider through her mail slot (they test the recipes together every two weeks and have only had to use the fire extinguisher twice).

The owners of the building lived there too. Josephine acquired it through her family and insisted on living there to be readily available for any issues. It had been her first home away from home and had grown fond of the place. Cullen once asked her why, that surely she would want some peace away from her tenants and perhaps move into a bigger place, Josephine would smile and say that she had grown too fond of her place and the sense of community that was fostered among the tenants. Like the garden she brought to life, she couldn’t part from the place where she re-established herself.    

It should have been the hissing of the kettle that brought him back to the present. Instead, it was the new neighbor above him.

“Hey!”

He never caught her name but knew she was Dalish. He couldn’t remember if she was a teaching assistant or a tutor. If he was honest, he didn’t care much and only got word of her through his other neighbors.

“Come on, don’t be an asshole!”

Maker, she had only moved in the previous month and was already insufferable. He recalled the first week how she kept stumbling and dropping things in the dead of night; the crashing of unknown (yet always heavy) items startled him awake and he barely slept well.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she huffed.

Absolutely insufferable. Who was she even talking to?

Cullen poked his head out of the window to catch a glimpse of something small and grey rushing down the spiral staircase. A slight pinging sound alerted him that small pebbles were falling from above. Only they weren’t pebbles. Were those…?

He wasn’t going to get involved in whatever shenanigans his upstairs neighbor was doing. Contenting himself with making a relaxing brew, he focused on his tea. He was about to grab a teabag when he heard something thud against the backdoor.

“What in the…” He had drawn the curtain from the window only to jump back in alarm. Staring back at him was a squirrel, its beady eyes searching for more delectable snacks. Why it thought that Cullen would have it, he couldn’t rationalize. The fact that this squirrel was daring enough to dangle itself from the window screen to pester him was of concern to him. Where would it end?

The squirrel maneuvered around the screen, flicking its tail and making odd chirping sounds, almost cooing, as though it could endear itself to the human and trick him into feeding it something. Cullen thwacked the screen to jostle the rodent, which only responded with longer squawks, now seemingly annoyed. As though Cullen was at fault for not following protocols, that it was his duty as a human to furnish food upon demand.

That’s it, he’d had enough; Cullen turned the knob, alerting the squirrel that took it as a cue to jump off the screen. If Cullen wasn’t so annoyed he would have appreciated the parkour move. Tea abandoned, he walked past the small back porch to assess the situation. The same squirrel ignored Cullen and raced to snatch a peanut that seemingly fell from the sky; from there, it launched towards the garden to hide its prize.

Another peanut fell from above, nearly hitting Cullen. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was nearly pelted with the peanut, the scavenging squirrel that was ruining Josephine’s hard work, or the fact that when he looked up he saw a scurry of them lounging about the various steps that made the spiral staircase. It was, quite possibly, a combination of all three. Seeing the intruder, they all scrambled for the safety of the trees, some even crossing the electric pole lines with no care for how high off the ground they were as long as they escaped the angry stranger.

He obviously had no nuts to give them, so why stick around?

Cullen thought he would have to knock on his neighbor’s backdoor but instead found her lounging on a patio chair (her legs stretched to rest on its twin) wearing nothing but the smallest shorts he’s ever seen (he hoped that it wasn’t her underwear), a thin tank top with holes on the bottom hem and the most ridiculous cardigan that nearly consumed her; despite how it practically engulfed her, it was the only decent thing she was wearing at the moment.

She glanced up from her work (knitting something dreadful, he surmised) before fussing with the yarn, carefully transferring the loops from one double-pointed needle to a vacant one without losing a stitch.

“Morning, you must be my downstairs neighbor. How can I help?”

The fact that she barely gave him eye contact frustrated him further but he had to remind himself that he wanted to make this quick. His plans for relaxation had no room for lecturing his neighbor about common courtesy.

He also seriously doubted that she would be receptive to that kind of talk.

“I’ll make this quick since you seem busy but I’m Cullen, I live in the apartment below you and I noticed that the squirrels have become a bit, well, bothersome.”

“Bothersome,” she repeated, this time her hands paused as she looked at him. He wasn’t sure if the look on her face was confusion or incredulousness.

“Yes, I was in my kitchen and this, this squirrel was hanging from my window.”

“Well, that’s unusual,” she said, “have you been feeding them or something?”

Maker, what a silly line of questioning.

He didn’t know how to proceed, this entire conversation was absurd and it was clear to him now that it was useless to talk sense into this woman. The only rational alternative was that she was being purposely obtuse about the whole matter. 

That had to be it.

“You must be joking,”

“Well, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“You’re obviously feeding the squirrels,” he said, trying to keep the edge of disbelief from his tone.

“Well obviously I’m not if they’re hanging off your window screen,” she replied coolly. The fact that she maintained eye contact with him while knitting with ease was unnerving.  

“That makes no sense! If I was feeding them then why would I come to you to complain about it?”

“Beats me,” she shrugged while showing no signs of slowing down the movement of her needles. Cullen felt his eye twitch slightly, convinced that this was an act of intimidation.

Blessed Andraste, this woman was difficult.

“Nice try, but you’ll have to do a lot better than that. I practically tripped on one of your tree-rats just coming up here.”

“Well that’s rude. First of all, they’re squirrels, not ‘tree-rats’,” as if her mocking tone wasn’t already grating on his nerves, her exaggerated air quotes further raised his hackles, “and maybe avoid stomping about so much like you’ve got anvils for shoes.”

“I do not stomp!”

“Listen, Callum…” she began.

“It’s Cullen,” He really didn’t want to bite her head off but she was truly testing him.

“Right, anyway, tell you what, I’ll take into consideration what you’ve told me and if you’ve still got a problem, my visiting hours are from one to four on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“That…makes no sense, we’re Friday.”

“Consider this a courtesy from me to you. Was there anything else?” She even smiled, which only made him feel less at ease.

“Um, n-no?”

“Awesome,” she resumed her knitting, but not before shooing him with a wave of her hand.

Cullen pondered about the encounter as he descended the steps, noting that for now the squirrels kept their distance. He realized about halfway down that he was carefully walking on the balls of his feet, his neighbor’s earlier comment making him embarrassingly aware of how bullish he might’ve come across. Not wanting to stick to that particular train of thought, he tried to dispel it as he reentered the kitchen, trying to remember what he was doing before the strange encounter.

He didn’t have long to think, witnessing the kettle furiously sputtering hot water and steam from the element, now red-hot from being left on the entire time. Cullen notched the dial to ‘off’ and carefully poured the remains of the scorching water into his mug, careful to not get any of it on himself.

Now seemingly quiet, Cullen went to his pantry for a teabag. He barely had time to dunk it into the mug, letting out a sigh, before he heard the telltale clawing coming from his screen door.

He should’ve just gone to sodding work.

[reaping-cain]

9. An Awkward Kiss for your favorite pair!

I saw this while going through my inbox and it’s been a while since I wrote anything, so here you go. Cullen x Kaeran in Single Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion verse…set just before the housewarming, because why not?

Fluff and weirdness, 1175 words

Kaeran was running around in a frenzy, getting everything sorted and in place for the housewarming party. She even had Cullen return to the grocery store to exchange a bag of chips because who throws a party and only has the blandest flavour on hand?

“But it says ‘Classic’,” he said defensively.

Kaeran knows that she’s patient and understanding, but with so much at stake, it wasn’t happening.

Sensing her distress, Cullen left without another word along with the bland bag of chips.

She was going to apologize to him when he got back. She had to, otherwise she was going to feel guilty the whole night.

Fortunately, there was help from Cullen’s sisters and Rhona who came early to help with preparing extra dishes, setting the place for maximized party space. She noticed her cousin pushing the couch flush against the wall, leaving a huge gap in the center for people to mingle.

“There, all clear.” Rhona wiped her hands in satisfaction.

“Don’t get your hopes up, I know that look,” Kaeran chided.

“What look?” Her cousin replied a little too innocently.

“You’re hoping that this party devolves into a beer pong tournament.”

“Well, if it goes that way…”

Rubbing her temples, she can feel a headache coming. “Fine, but only a few rounds and only if you can wrangle three other souls into it. I don’t want my first impression with Cullen’s side to include cops showing up because we’re being loud.”

Kaeran knows that it probably won’t come to that, but at this point she’s preparing herself for the worst case scenario, including the unexpected and uninvited appearance of her ex. It doesn’t help that with the slight throb of a looming headache comes the flood of irritation across her face. She had stopped taking the cream for a week and her skin was rebelling; some days the salve helped and Kaeran completely forgot the pain, but when the air was dry she suffered. Today was a beautiful day, especially for a housewarming, but the air was a tad on the dry side and with Kaeran fussing with her face earlier, she could feel how hot her face felt and her skin did not appreciate the extra layer of makeup concealer.

Right now she was desperately trying not to claw at her own face.

The doorbell rang and for a moment her heart stuttered. Was it time already?

She walked to the entranceway and frowned at Cullen who looked incredibly (and adorably) sheepish on the other side of the door. He had to hunch over a little to peer through the panel of glass, waving at her and then pointing down to the doorknob. Oh.

Kaeran took the few steps to the door and narrowed her eyes slightly. He must’ve understood her meaning and pulled a different bag of chips for her to inspect. Satisfied, she unlocked the door and let him in. The space in the vestibule now crowded with Cullen taking up most of it and peering down at her with a smirk.

“Rhona must’ve locked the door after you left.” She offered, trying to fill the silence. She wasn’t one to do that, and sort of felt silly now doing that.

“No worries, I’ll just make sure to have my key on me next time.”

“I appreciate you going back out, I’m sorry if I was a bit curt. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I know it’s not an excuse to treat you that way.”

“Hey, it’s alright. I didn’t think you were actually mad at me for my questionable choice in chips, I should’ve asked if you had a preference. I’m not really good at this whole housewarming thing.”

“I’ve never thrown one before, just been to a couple of Rhona’s.”

“Well, I think you’re doing a great job and if you need to delegate anything to me, I’m your man.”

“My man, sirrah?” She bats her eyelashes in quick succession while folding her hands across her chest. How does he manage to diffuse her foul mood? She really couldn’t have asked for a better roommate.

He plays along and bows, when he looks into her eyes he gently extricates one of her hands, nestling it into his larger one. Ever the gentleman, Cullen places a chaste kiss between her first two knuckles; it’s a brief contact, the rasp of his stubble against her skin a mix of shock and warm indulgence. He seems to recollect himself faster and it’s when he straightens that she notices his flushed face.

“I-I, um…” His hand so desperately wants to rub the back of his neck, chasing the flush from spreading further.

“It’s this heat, clearly getting to us both,” Kaeran soothes, alleviating him of further embarrassment.

“Think you two can be any more weird?” Rhona shouts from the kitchen. Her question startles them both, making Kaeran chuckle. She stands taller, leaning against Cullen to give him a friendly peck while trying to grab the bag from his hand.

However, the lines of communication are crossed. While Kaeran retrieves the bag from his grasp and leans up to plant a chaste kiss for his trouble, Cullen clutches the bag to him in reflex and confused, turns his head sideways. The shift causes Kaeran to stumble and her lips miss the mark entirely and are presently fixed on the corner of his mouth.

It feels as though they’re frozen in place for an eternity. In reality, it takes a few seconds for both to register what happened and react. Both give up on the bag of chips (which tumbles to the ground, unimpressed), and while Kaeran moves backwards, eyes wide and fingers pressed to her lips, Cullen crowds into her, hands reaching while slightly out of breath.

“Kaeran…” He wants to apologize but can’t find it in himself to. What was there to be sorry about? Despite the awkwardness of the situation, he didn’t regret it. He could see now that she was at war with herself, unsure how to process. She didn’t recoil from him, only belatedly retreated.

Kaeran was about to say something when Rhona called out again, “Hey, can I use the mortar and pestle to smash avocado?”

That seemed to snap them both out of their trance. Both tried to salvage the situation and failed by interjecting each other with the same thought. A small laugh diffused the tension between them but only enough to allow quick glances at each other while moving further into the apartment.

Kaeran went into the kitchen to scold her cousin and vowed to hide her mortar and pestle (which Rhona seemed very keen on using one way or another) and Cullen went to his bedroom to change. Though what happened in the vestibule wasn’t entirely gone from their minds, both fell into their role as hosts with ease. It wasn’t until Dorian’s arrival that what happened between them came crashing down once more.

“I’m here now, the party has offi—WHO LEFT A BAG OF CHIPS ON THE FLOOR??”

[reaping-cain]

Kaeran Lavellan Wardrobe

I saw @thevikingwoman do this and wanted to take a stab at it. I ended up not really following the guidelines, and instead made various outfits and labeled them according to the mood. They are as follows:

Life in Clan Lavellan - Lost in the Hinterlands - After Haven

Halamshiral (whose knife is this?) - Rose Gold in Emprise - Intimate (Jim Beware!)

Blend in with local Avvar - Frostback Basin - Post-Trespasser

I thought it was hilarious to have Kaeran threaten Jim (possibly scaring him off) and I included hints of Cullenmance. I also enjoyed playing with different hairstyles for Kaeran, I felt that it added more depth and gave a sense of her journey throughout Inquisition. 

OC Wardrobe Meme

Rules: Always remember to post the rules.

1. Pick an OC and pick nine outfits from the list below, or add your own:

General: Lingerie, Underclothes, Nightclothes, Field, Riding, Travel, Combat, [Class] Outfit, Daily, Wedding

DA Various Location-Specific: Ostagar, Lothering, Redcliffe, Brecilian Forest, Orzammar, [Season] Kirkwall, Sundermount, Deep Roads, Hanged Man, [Season] Haven, Hinterlands, Val Royeaux, Skyhold Formal, Skyhold Casual, Skyhold Judgement, Winter Palace, Adamant, Well of Sorrows, Frostback Basin

DA Moments in Story: Pre-Joining, Post-Joining, The Landsmeet, Act 1, Act 2, Act 3, Post-Kirkwall Chantry, Pre-Conclave, Post-Well of Sorrows, Exalted Council, Trespasser, Post-Trespasser

2. Build outfits in Azalea’s Dress Up Dolls (Viking Woman) and when you finish each look, save it and add to a 9-grid image post. (make sure you include which outfit is which in the text below)

3. Tag nine people to do the same!

OK, so I’m not going to tag anyone since I lost count of who did it but if you’re keen on playing dress up with your OCs then feel free to tag me back. 

[reaping-cain]

How to (NOT) find the perfect lover

Some pre-Single Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion. Rhona and Kaeran venting about relationships and how finding the right person is impossible. Inspired by this post. I thought my tags were hilarious so I wrote a thing while I’m waiting for my chai cookies to thaw. 623 words

Kaeran is three episodes deep in a true crime documentary, all the while furiously knitting when the front door opens and shuts. She glances at the wall on the clock and notes that her cousin is back early. A bit odd but maybe she had work in the morning and had to cut the date short.

Rhona walks in to the living room and drops into the adjacent armchair, exhausted.

“So…how did the date go?”

Rhona shrugs. “Meh.”

“That’s it? Just ‘meh’??”

“What? You expect every date to consist of swooning and being swept off my feet?”

“No,” she grumbled. Rhona leans down to undo her shoes, even rolls off the socks to let her feet breathe. She talks to her toes as she wiggles them.

“It was just ‘meh’, she seemed to have a good time but I don’t think that we could be anything serious.”

Kaeran shakes her head at that. “Right, and what you’re looking for is serious.”

“What are you on about?”

“Relationships, Rhona! A serious relationship? You?” Rhona didn’t do relationships. Not for a long time and probably never will again.

“Okay…more like serious but fun…hookups,” she mumbles.

“HA!” Kaeran nearly drops a stitch and grumbles as she tries to recover it. The last thing she needs is to undo an entire row to fix such a stupid mistake.

“Alright, you got me. Happy?” Rhona’s voice edges on annoyance and Kaeran gives her an apologetic look. She retrieves the dropped stitch and decides that she’s done enough knitting for the day, setting the project aside to give her cousin her undivided attention.

“No. What was wrong with this one?”

“Clingy. I don’t do clingy. It complicates things, makes hookups less fun. I don’t need that.”

Kaeran flexes her fingers, she’s been holding the knitting needles too tightly…or maybe knitting for too long: the perils of Netflix and knit.

“You know what I don’t get? How people get in relationships, like, how does that happen?”

Kaeran bites back a laugh. “You’re asking me? I just broke off a serious relationship. I don’t have the answer to that. Besides, I hardly consider myself an expert.”

“I bet you’d have to have a horseshoe up your ass in order to get the universe to align in your favour, or something,” Rhona muses.

Kaeran snorts, “Yeah, probably. Maybe blood magic?”

“Seems a bit drastic, no?”

“Truly desperate.”

“Or maybe, while we’re still discussing crazy schemes to summon the perfect lover—”

“Hypothetically,” Kaeran interjects.

“Yes, hypothetically. Why not grab five items you’d think makes the perfect lover slash partner, draw a pentagram and summon them.”

“I’m pretty sure then you’re asking for a demon lover.”

“Or…a demon that can point you in the direction of said perfect lover?”

Kaeran narrows her eyes at Rhona, unsure if her cousin is pulling her leg or trying to make an inventory of her own for what makes a perfect partner.

“What items would you pick to summon them? Like, would it be something to appease the demon or do you go with items that represent the ideal partner? Is there an item that’s specific for blonds?”

“We’re not—” Kaeran’s eyes are wide. This can’t be happening. Rhona can’t be seriously considering…

“I think I have a Ouija board somewhere…”

“Rhona, I’m not that desperate.”

“If you say so…let me know if you change your mind.”

“You’re drunk, go to bed,” she yells at her cousin who rises from the armchair and heads down the hallway. Presumably to her room, Kaeran hopes.

“Okay, let me just go check where I stashed that Ouija board…”

“Rhona!”

Her cackle bounces down the corridor, making the hairs on the back of Kaeran’s neck stand up. “Love you cuz!”

-//

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[reaping-cain]

Single Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion: Chapter 8

Kaeran gets distracted by many things, Cullen flusters over his cup of coffee, and Rhona suddenly and unexpectedly gets her hands full.

ao3 link here and the story so far can be found here.

The mugs and dishes used from Rosalie and Mia’s visit are in the sink. The design of the dishware is simple with its two earthy tones of burnish brown and taupe and sandwiched between them, a thin ribbon of red. Very Ferelden, Kaeran notes as she inspects one of the mugs including the simple handle. Whatever ornamentation there might have been was worn away with love and attention from being carefully washed and stored away through the years. She had to commend how the ceramic pieces were sturdy and seemingly ageless for their classic aesthetic.

Following the departure of Cullen’s sisters, niece and nephews, they lunched on the sushi Kaeran had bought earlier. Both were famished and said little while enjoying the rolls of rice and fish. Kaeran was surprised to see how much of the spicy green paste Cullen had put into his soya sauce. She feared that he had underestimated the potency of it but he gave no hint that he went overzealous with the paste. She remembered Dorian once lamenting over how Cullen had no taste for spices and always ordered bland dishes when they went out. Kaeran wasn’t so sure if Cullen had his moments or he was just trying to impress her. Still, he didn’t choke over his spiced sushi, so perhaps this was a special treat that he didn’t have the chance to indulge in so often.

She made a mental note to ask Dorian about that later. There were quite a few things she didn’t know about Cullen but realized that he was at a greater disadvantage…unless he knew more than he let on? Had Dorian told him anything?

Cullen had taken care of the Styrofoam containers and cleared the table while Kaeran hand washed the mugs and dishes in the sink. Leaning his hip against the counter next to her, he grabbed a dishcloth and began to dry what was on the rack.

She must’ve been going too slowly with washing the ceramics since Cullen opened his mouth with a saucy comment.

“You done admiring my dinnerware?”

Kaeran paused in thought before sparing him a quick glance before picking up the pace.

“Should I be admiring something else?”

Her view was suddenly obscured by a pattern that looked familiar. She grumbled while pulling off the dishcloth, annoyed that the offending cloth had mussed her hair. When she finally managed to tame it, she turned to glare at Cullen who resisted breaking his smirk into a guffaw. She must not have been completely successful in fixing her hair since Cullen reached for a thick strand that was caught on the shaved side. How embarrassing. Still, he gives her an apologetic smile before clearing his throat.  

“So,” she begins, when he doesn’t. She notices that he’s fidgeting with his hands. They’re beautiful to behold and she resists snorting because since when does she fixate on some guy’s dinnerware and hands? She blames the new environment and how it remains strange for her like new skin growing over wounds: rough, itchy, not quite right and easy to pick off and start again.  She tries not to prod too much.  

“So,” he replies softly, deciding that the best way to deal with his hands is to firmly tuck them in the pockets of his jeans. If Cullen noticed the small hiss that briefly escapes her lips, he doesn’t give a sign of it. Although he is entranced by the way she is now biting her bottom lip. She’s thinking of how to follow up this lax progression of conversation.

Kaeran decides to go with facts. They’re free of emotions that reveal too much.

“You met my mother.”

Cullen hums, one of his hands escapes and he’s rubbing the side of his neck, trying not to go for the back, a habit he tends to do and cannot keep in check. Kaeran opts to focus on the dishcloth in her hand, folding it neatly and lining up the corners.

“And you met my insufferable sisters,” he says. “And your niece and nephews,” she adds.

The reality snaps Cullen out of the haze and his face blushes from a light pink to bright red. He winces, “Yes…I hope they weren’t too much.” He even looks apologetic and Mythal bless him, how could she hold it against him? Even if his niece and nephews were absolute monsters she would absolve him.

“Not at all, I thought they were sweet. I mean, did it get awkward? A bit but as far as first meetings go, I think it went well.”

“I’m glad,” he says slightly breathless. Kaeran hated how handsome he looked despite the flush and evident nervousness.  

“Your sisters are not that bad.” He snorts at that. “Try growing up with them.” “Isn’t that how it always is with siblings?”

Cullen furrows his brow, “You don’t have any?” She shakes her head. “I suppose the closest thing I have to a sibling is my cousin, Rhona. Lots of growing up together…” “Making stupid mistakes?” He jokes.

She smirks, her lips stretching thin, as though worried any secrets my slip between them. He doesn’t miss the mischievous twinkle in her eyes that say “wouldn’t you want to know” and yet, he also notes a bit on sadness in them.

“As long as there are more good memories than bad ones.”

Wanting to change subject, Kaeran sets the dishcloth aside, “So when do I meet your parents? I’m more nervous about that.”

When she doesn’t hear his response, she turns to look back at him and instantly regrets her question. Shit.

“I said something wrong.” She really, really needed that chat with Dorian.

Cullen’s frown is gone and though he’s mostly composed, there’s still tightness around his eyes and she senses that some of it must’ve come from that private conversation he had with his sister, Mia.

“You didn’t know.” “How,” she begins, unsure how best to continue the thread of conversation, debating even, if it wasn’t best to steer it elsewhere. She wants to hug him but also give him some space. Kaeran’s unsure which action to take, what was appropriate. They’re both strangers in uncharted waters and whatever good footing they had earlier seemed to transform into a minefield of personal baggage.

“I was fourteen when they died. Mia was fifteen. It’ll be twenty years next spring.”

She can’t imagine losing her parents all at once, but at such a young age? Her heart lurched, unable to imagine Cullen so young and losing them; having to grow up without them, learning so much on their own, growing up faster than expected and coping without parents.  

“You’re thirty-three?” It feels like she’s grasping at straws but what else is she supposed to ask? Asking how it happened felt cold, and though a normal follow up question, Kaeran didn’t want to pry. Not unless he was willing to tell her and the fact that he hadn’t brought up his parents sooner meant otherwise. She assumed that the relationship was strained, not prematurely severed and buried six feet under.

Some tension must’ve bled out since Cullen is eyeing her oddly, actually looking at her from head to toe as though he is only seeing her for the first time and now she’s the one that is fidgeting under his scrutiny. Catching himself, he looks to her left while rubbing the back of his neck. “Y-yes…is that a problem?”

She hadn’t considered how old he was until just now. She assumed that he was slightly older than her but she can’t help but be impressed that he looks good for someone his age. She suspects that the tight lines in his face and slightly pronounced cheekbones were from stress and working long hours.

When she stares back at him, his brows are raised, eyes rounded. Cullen looks younger in that moment, a contradiction to his thirty-three years in this world. Hands on her hips, she tilts her head to the side, assessing quietly. She can tell that he’s holding his breath in anticipation.

Finally.

“No, not a problem,” she says, “just a bit put out, really. I thought we were closer in age and I’m honestly offended that you don’t look your age.”

“Looks are deceiving,” he joked.

“Don’t let it get to your head,” she quipped back.

“Would you mind me asking how old you are?”

“Not at all, I’m twenty-eight,” she stated.

Cullen visibly deflated, “Thank the Maker,” he breathed. Kaeran had quirked her eyebrow in response to his reaction.

“Sorry, for a moment I was worried that you were…”

“Younger.”

“Yes, much younger.”

“Admit you were worried that people would start teasing you about being a cradle robber.”

“Can’t have that.”

“No, that won’t do,” she said, a hint of a smile curling the corners of her mouth. “Now that we’ve established that, I’m not entirely sure that we convinced your sisters that we’re a couple.”

“We’re bad at this,” he groans, one hand covering his face. “We didn’t establish a story of how we met and we’re only figuring out each other’s age. What a mess.”

“Hey, hey,” she walks up to him, resting her hand lightly on his arm, “don’t worry, we’ve got time to make it work.”

He peeks through the cracks between his fingers, muffling out, “In time before the housewarming you suddenly sprung up?”

Kaeran’s face is an open book, he realizes, flitting from concern to schooling into something between impassive and cool.

She smacks his arm, again, lightly. “I’ll pretend I heard a ‘thank you’ somewhere in there. So,” she rubs her hands together, glad to change the subject. “Ready to make good on that promise of yours?”

Cullen is very much thankful that Kaeran doesn’t hesitate to pick up the lead.

-//-

It’s a slow day at The Dales Bakehouse and Rhona is wondering for the twentieth time this hour why they bother being opened for Mondays. Having recently acquired the rights of the bakehouse, she is still new to many aspects of being a business owner but relishes the challenge; it’s why the previous owners were happy to give her the keys, they knew that the bakehouse was in good hands.

The Dales was a second home to Rhona who moved out of the ‘burbs in her late teens and lived by couch surfing for a while before saving enough money to afford rent for a bedroom. Despite working long hours for various jobs, she stayed in touch with family. They always encouraged her to return home and to her studies but Rhona found that as much as she loved her family she couldn’t bear to be a burden to them. She couldn’t go back to school, didn’t have the discipline for it, and decided to go on her own and figure things out along the way. Within the last eight years she had learned a lot from her various jobs, what worked, what didn’t and especially, who to avoid.

Considering the series of miscalculations and gem opportunities that shaped her, she wasn’t faring too badly if she was the owner of a thriving bakehouse that garnered an interesting mix of clientele. Rhona loved what she did; the everyday challenges and decisions to keep The Dales a welcoming place for customers, young and old, and a shining beacon in a sea of café franchises.

She was just about to go check on the new pastry chef downstairs when the bell above the entranceway dinged, signaling a newcomer. Rhona pulled her long copper braid to drape down her back.

“Afternoon,” the man approached.

Rhona grinned at him, recognizing the man, “Well if it isn’t the handsome Ansom. How are ya doing today?”

Ansom let out a loud scream sneeze and was able to successfully cover it in the crook of his elbow. Rhona winced, the sound incredibly loud to her sensitive ears and at the fact that Ansom was clearly under the weather.

“Still got that cold?”

“Yeh,” he replied, grabbing a napkin from the counter and blowing his nose. He neatly folded the napkin and tucked it in the pocket of his coat.

“You sure you’re getting better? You look feverish.” The guy did look quite flushed and his eyes were watery and unfocused.

“’m fine,” he waved her off.

Ansom began visiting The Dales shortly after Rhona had discovered the place. Frequent sightings and friendly demeanor meant that they inevitably began to greet each other and slowly got to know more of the other. Ansom was, well, handsome, but held fast to his boyish charms and he never hesitated to flirt unless it wasn’t welcome. He was a nice guy, a carpenter by trade and had good taste in music, something which he and Rhona discussed with great length.

He tried to give Rhona his heartthrob smile but it warbled and the last straw was how suddenly white his face turned.

“Ansom, I swear to Mythal if you—”

She didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence; the guy nearly crumpled to the floor and struggled to stay on his feet, muttering to himself.

“Damn you,” she scowled, rounding the corner to come to his aid.

Once she grabbed him firmly under his arms and hauled him up, she called out for the chef.

“I’m fine,” Ansom repeated. Rhona tsked at him. If he weren’t so pale she would’ve smacked some sense into him.  

“Thea!” she called again, hoping that the only other employee in the bakehouse wasn’t out of reach. Footsteps replied to her call as the qunari emerged from the staircase, apron wrapped across her waist (the widest she could find) and a cloth in her hands to wash off most of the flour from her large hands.

“What’s up?” she asked before her calm manner shifted to one of concern as soon as she saw the man slouching against the chair. “I’ll get some cold compress, want me to call an ambulance?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ansom replied.

Rhona snapped her head to glare at him. “So help me, Ansom, I’ll make it much worse for you if you keep insisting that you’re fine.” She turned to Thea then, “hold off on the ambulance, I’m taking him with me. What’s the situation downstairs?”

Thea wiped her hands against the apron, mentally assessing the state of the kitchen in the basement. “Got a couple of things in the oven, some pastries that can be stored in the refrigerator for now, nothing urgent. Why?”

“How do you feel about leaving early today? I promise you’ll be compensated for the full shift, no questions asked.”

“You sure, boss?” Any other time she would have insisted on not being called ‘boss’ but this was different and Rhona relished the fact that she could make such a call with no one to answer to. She was the boss, after all.

“Yeah, pretty sure.”

-//-

She can’t believe that he’s doing this. Of all nights, this had to happen tonight. Tonight was important, she’d told him about the engagement party months ago. She had been optimistic that he would make the effort.

“You don’t care about my friends.”

“What does it matter when I care for you?” She shakes her head.

“You don’t want me to go, by refusing you think I’ll cancel my plans and stay in with you.”

He doesn’t look up from his notes, always engrossed in work even when he was pulled away from the archives. “If you want to go then go, but there’s no point in me going, besides, I found something interesting in my research, I can’t give it up now.”

She fumed. Why was she so stupid to think that he would change his habits and make an exception for once? He drove her crazier than usual. It didn’t take much nowadays.

“You always do this, what’s the point? You don’t want to know anything about my friends, you don’t put the effort.”

He shrugs, a small innocent smile, “Vhenan, I don’t know them and I know they don’t think much of me. What’s the point in going if I’ll be sitting at a table surrounded by strangers.”

“You’d be with me!” she snapped, “Spend time with me other than just seeing me at work or living under this roof with you! A change of scenery…and they wouldn’t be strangers if you made an effort in getting to know them. These kinds of parties are a good way to mingle.”

He sighed, finally looking at her and sounding annoyed, “sounds like work.”

“Friendship is work, very much like a relationship.”

“I disagree. You either like someone or you don’t. It’s up to you to decide to pursue a meaningful relationship.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “This is the problem, you’re not even willing to try, not even for my sake.” Pause. “Fine, I’m going. I’ll be damned if I stay cooped up in here a moment longer, especially when there’s no point in reasoning with you.”

“If that is your wish, very well. Have a good time, my love.”

As she exited their loft, she wrestled with her emotions, wishing the conversation went better. After fights like this one she always wondered if there was another way she could have talked it through, if she said things differently, if she had put more time and patience. Time, she huffed; she gave plenty of that along with patience as well as her sanity.

What infuriates her is that despite all this, she still wishes that he conceded and joined her. She resolves to not let his absence affect her night; tonight is a celebration after all. She will take this opportunity to see her friends again, catch up and enjoy the festivity.

Her plan is only mildly successful as she bumps into friends, quite a few of them surprised to see her there while others have turned cold towards her attempts in making amends and catching up. She refuses to think that Solas was right and that she should have stayed in for the night. She also promised herself that she wouldn’t drink too much.

If she was honest with herself, she had a lot on her mind and barely minded the number of drinks she consumed through the night.

“Everything alright?”

“Hm..? Oh, sorry.”

“I lost you for a bit. Thought maybe you were having second thoughts about this bed.”

“What?” she says, not really up to speed with what’s going on or her surroundings. She could have sworn that she was elsewhere, that it wasn’t just a trick from her brain simply fucking with her.

“I know you picked it but if you’re having second thoughts, maybe tell me? As much as it is a pain to assemble Samna furniture, you don’t want to try pulling it apart.”

Oh, right. The Samna furniture…her bedframe that Cullen offered to help build. She’s lucky that he was kind enough to volunteer since she hadn’t even thought about the grueling task of putting together her own bed. Rhona probably would’ve laughed at her and hung up (still laughing) if she called to ask.

“Oh! No. The bed is fine, sorry, just a bit spacey. Kind of a big deal moving in with my short-term fake boyfriend.”

“Ouch. I know it hasn’t been conventionally long but short term?”

“How long has it been then?” She meant it as a joke but apparently Cullen doesn’t get nuances. In any other circumstance she would’ve found it annoying but right now? Cullen was being insufferably endearing. He’s so sweet that Kaeran practically feels cavities filming her teeth. She momentarily panics over whether she packed her toothbrush only to remember a few seconds later that it was in her bag.

He’s cupping his mug of coffee and scrunches his face, actually calculating. Creators, even when he makes a stupid face she has the urge to do something stupid. What in the Void is wrong with her?

Once he takes a sip—aside from learning more about his family, his age, Kaeran also catalogues how he’s a total caffeine fiend—he’s satisfied with his estimation. “I’d say…almost two months,” he says finally.

She has to whistle at that estimation. “Really?”

“Hm-mhm. We didn’t even do anything special for our first month.”

She scoffs at that. “Are you one of those types?”

Cullen shrugs, slightly on the defensive. “For the right girl, I might be inclined for sappy and seemingly absurd milestones.”

Kaeran hides her nervous smile with her hand. Unbelievable. Her fake boyfriend is a total sap. “You must think you’re so smooth.”

“Quite the opposite but I’m glad to hear that my nervousness isn’t so obvious.”

“You? Nervous?”

He snorts before taking another sip. “Are you kidding? I have the calm collectiveness of a fennec fox.”

“Well, it’s reassuring, but you need to give yourself more credit than that.”

“You’re too kind,” he says drily. A total sap and a snark, she can’t believe it. Where was Dorian hiding this guy?

“You’re not far off…”

“Pardon?”

“Fennec fox? They’re fidgety but also really cute.”

He doesn’t know how to respond, his mind blanking and words refusing to come out, his throat tightening suddenly. He clears it and fusses with the pages of instructions, engrossed in the simple illustrations than the beauty sitting across from him.

“Um…shall we move on to the next step?” He chances a brief glance her way before shuffling through the instructions, trying to find the step they’re stuck on.

Kaeran indulges him by following his lead and shifting her focus to assembling the furniture. She crawls on all fours, scrutinizing the collection of nails, bolts and tiny wooden dowels and giving Cullen a break by not further flustering the poor man.

He flips through the pages, seemingly lost. As though they were codex pages written in a language long forgotten. Or distracted, she thinks. Why is it so easy to tease him? She hasn’t had this much fun in ages. She chides herself for her own distraction and as entertaining as it is to flirt and torture Cullen with suggestive looks, she really didn’t want to drag the task of assembling her bedframe longer than necessary.

He misreads her silence and continues, “It’s alright, everyone has a couple of sore spots.”

“Normal people?” she asks quizzically.

“Are you implying that we’re not normal?” Oh dear, was he being sarcastic?

Where to begin? Both of them were ridiculously guilty of abnormal behaviour. Her own issues, his closeted past, the fact that their relationship is a complete sham just to score an apartment, their lie growing ever larger as they fabricated more falsehoods for Cullen’s family (which they ate up).

And now they’re throwing a house warming party…as a couple. Kaeran could go on, instead, she replied, “Well, I’m not normal.”

“Something that I need to worry about?” he joked.

“At ease, Rutherford, I don’t have any tricks up my sleeves, just a bad breakup and wounded pride. I’ll heal…in time.”

“If I may ask, why not move back with the parents? Your mother seems nice. Unless…”

She sighs at that, a long, labored exhale before slowly breathing in again.

“The parents aren’t the issue. I—” her voice cracks infinitesimally, he almost doesn’t notice. He gives her time by preoccupying himself and examining one of the bags full of screws and wooden dowels.

Kaeran appreciates the gesture, resuming, “I’m the issue. They say they’ve forgiven me but you know how it is, you can’t help but carry that guilt with you. Try and make it up to them. It’s going to be a long while before I feel like I’ve done enough to wipe that slate clean. If at all.”

Cullen’s features soften from confusion to understanding. “I know the feeling, I’m like that too. It doesn’t matter how many times others forgive you, you have to learn to accept it eventually in your own terms.”

She hums and Cullen takes a sip of his coffee, letting her mull over his words. Despite the topic of conversation, he finds it easy to talk to her; if there’s a lull in the conversation with Kaeran neither of them is pressed to fill the silence for the sake of it.  

The fact that he offered to help was a nice surprise and meanwhile she repays him by acting coy one moment and moody the next. She better stop before she ends up riling herself up too much. Maybe Rhona was right to say that her previous relationship dragged on for too long. Although her cousin meant well when she mentioned her hooking up with people, Kaeran knew that she needed the release but the thought of sleeping with a stranger was unappealing. Not to mention how she’d feel afterwards. It didn’t help either that she was self-conscious of her body and of the lingering vallaslin she insisted on covering.

She tried to not think about the cream that was nestled in the bottom of her duffle bag. Her skin flushed, itching, almost craving for the damn thing. She resisted the impulse to rub and scratch at her face.

“Kaeran?”

“Hmm?” Oh shit. How long was she stuck in her own spiraling thoughts? How embarrassing.

If she was wrapped in her own thoughts for long, he didn’t mention it. Instead he gave her a warm smile that tingled her from her roots to her toes. “You must’ve been quite the daydreamer when you were young.”

Quick as a whip, “Are you inferring that I’m old, Cullen?”

“Never. You can be twice your age and I bet you still wouldn’t look a day over thirty.”

She has a strong urge to throw a handful of dowels his way but then they wouldn’t be able to progress much and Mythal knew where those blighted wooden pegs needed to go.

Instead she toys with them, sticking them between her fingers like crude claws, incredibly crude, blunt and stunted claws.

“So…” she trails off. “So…” “How about that next step?” she asks.

His eyes twinkled with mirth and a bit of mischief. There was also a promise hidden in those alluring ochre toned eyes.

Oh, be steady her beating heart. He is going to absolutely ruin her.

Let him, she thought.

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[reaping-cain]

Doppelgänger Lavellan

Dedicated to @slothquisitor who has to contend with end of semester stress and obligations. I wanted to write fluff but this silly idea came to mind instead so I hope shenanigans works to lift your spirits. I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your lovely Mara. Alternate modern AU where Kaeran and Mara meet. Also Sera’s involved because I love her too. 1430 words.

“So when are ya gonna tell me the naughty bits about yer date?”

Kaeran huffed, not even taking her eyes off the book she was assessing. She already had one book wedged to her chest and though she could get away with buying one more book, it was a foolish to think that she’d leave the bookstore with two books. Three if she restrained herself, at worst, maybe six or seven. She tried to ignore her bank account and reread the back of the book. She hoped Sera backed off.

“Soooooooo….” Her companion pushed the book out of her hands. So rude.

“So what?” Kaeran sighed, bending over to pick up the book, fearing that one of the employees might see the offense. Maybe if she pretended to not know her friend, Sera might be forced to leave the place; on second thought, probably not the best idea. Sera held grudges for a frightening long time. There was no use begging, she would only stop when it pleased her.

Kaeran shelved the book. It wasn’t as intriguing anyway. From the corner of her eye she can see Sera bouncing from one foot to the other, clearly vibrating with excitement.

“You like him,” she said. Sera screwed up her face and made a disgusted noise loud enough to ruffle the feathers of another patron. Kaeran snorted, “OK, OK. I didn’t mean it that way. To be honest, I’m actually surprised that you know someone like him.”

“Wot ya mean?”

“I don’t know…he doesn’t strike me as someone who you’d have in your very eclectic circle of friends.”

Sera snorted this time. “Yeah, that’s a fancy way of puttin’ it. I don’t know, he sort of gets my humour, get him sloshed and he can tell a few dirty jokes. One time I laughed so hard, I had beer comin’ out my nose. Bloody hurt but couldn’t stay mad at ‘im, it was a good joke.”

“Really?”

“Seems impossible, ‘ight? Him looking serious and all, but he’s funny in his way even though he’s so Ferelden-y.”

Kaeran smiles fondly at Sera’s openness. It’s obvious that she looks up to the guy, somewhere between a confidant and a brother. Kaeran didn’t realize that she was lost in thought until Sera grinned widely, like a cat that ate a canary or three.

“You liiiike him,” she singsonged.

Kaeran spared a side-glance at her friend before moving to the next aisle over. Just because that last book wasn’t interesting didn’t mean that her search was over. About five minutes of relative silence passed, Sera poked her arm repeatedly to grab her attention.

“Ugh, Sera! If you’re so desperate for details—“

“Nevermin’ that! Look!” It wasn’t enough for Sera to be gawking, she had to also point at the person across the bookstore, arm fully extended and wagging her index for added emphasis.

Kaeran smacked her arm down; the sound was violent and the action even had another nearby patron audibly gasp. Kaeran internally groaned. This was the absolute last time that she was going to bring Sera to a bookstore. She looked at the blonde that Sera pointed out but could only make out that it was a woman about their age and had pointed ears. She couldn’t see what was so particularly special about this particular patron, not with the way her face was downturned and very much engrossed in a book she was holding.

“Really, Sera? Another elf in a bookstore, not a rare sight.”  

“No,” she emphasized by grabbing Kaeran’s shoulders and shaking her with some restraint, “it’s her! That doppel-thingy I keep telling you about!”

“Doppelgänger?…oh!” It finally dawned on her. Apparently Sera kept on seeing the mysterious woman and constantly confused her for Kaeran.

Curious, Kaeran began to walk down an aisle towards her supposed doppelgänger. Sera pulled her to the side.

“’Ey! Wot’re you doin’?” she hissed.

“What you think? You’ve been going on about this double-me you keep seeing and now she’s here, wouldn’t hurt to get a closer look.”

She’s about to get closer when Sera pulls her back yet again, a scrunched up look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I’m thinkin’…” Sera said, “isn’t it bad luck or somethin’?”

Kaeran rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t touch her if that’s what has you concerned. Wouldn’t want to have our reality collapse if she’s another me from a different timeline.”

“I hate you,” Sera huffed.

“Aww, no you don’t. You looove me.”

“Excuse me, sorry,” said a third voice.

Both Kaeran and Sera froze, their eyes locked on the supposed doppelgänger. The woman looked at them, unsure what was going on and why they were looking at her so strangely. Though the woman looked similar to Kaeran at a glance: their hair styled similarly and blonde as well as matching in height, the likeness ended there. Kaeran’s eyes were blue while the woman’s were green, noses were similar but the former’s bridge was slightly wider while the latter’s had a more delicate button nose. Again, Kaeran’s features were wider than the other woman’s, including thicker brows and a more pronounced jawline in contrast to the fine brows, sharp cheekbones and rounded chin.  She can see how Sera could make such a mistake at a glance but was also relieved that the woman wasn’t an exact mirror image of her. The whole absurdity of the situation was comical and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh come on, Sera! You’ve got to be kidding me! You need your eyes checked.”

“I do not!”

The woman seemed uneasy and perhaps even slightly annoyed with them. She came to the bookstore with a purpose and it wasn’t so that two strangers can ridicule her.

“Um, not sure what’s going on, but you’re standing in front of an author I’m looking for. If you wouldn’t mind?” The poor woman was more confused about the exchange and absolutely didn’t need two strangers to be gawking at her, although, the blonde with the uneven hair looked familiar.

Sera and Kaeran apologized and moved aside to let the third woman through.

After a moment, Kaeran couldn’t resist gently tapping the woman on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, it’s just my friend keeps seeing you around and always thinks you’re me.”

The woman looked at Kaeran and then Sera, recognition lighting up her face.

“Oh, yeah! I remember you,” she said.

Sera flushed, actually flushed a pretty shade. Kaeran thought nothing fazed Sera. Apparently not.

“Y-yeah, sorry about that time,” Sera mumbled.

“What happened?”

“Your friend ran at me and yelled ‘catch me’ really loud,” the woman deadpanned.

“Oh, Sera, dear.”

“…while I was holding my morning coffee.”

Kaeran whipped her head at Sera, horror on her face. “You ran off, didn’t you?”

She began to shake her head before contradicting with a couple of nods, “…yeah.”

“Did you even apologize?” Kaeran asked.

“To be fair,” the not-so doppelgänger replied, “she did shout a very long ‘sorry’ while running away.”

“Oh, well then,” Kaeran was at a bit of a loss. She didn’t want to waste any more of the not-doppelgänger’s time but thought it weird not knowing her name.

“I’m Kaeran, by the way, and if it’s not totally weird, maybe I can buy you a coffee? To make up for Sera’s silly mistake, I feel sort of responsible even though it’s obvious that my friend’s eyesight is clearly failing her.”

Sera made a couple of scoffing sounds before crossing her arms over her chest. Kaeran was definitely going to pay for that one later but it was still worth it.

The woman seemed to hesitate for a moment before she gave a small smile and nodded, “I’m Mara, it’s nice to meet my quasi-doppelgänger. I have some time for a coffee but I don’t want to take too much of your time.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Kaeran assured her. “If you don’t mind me asking, which author were you looking for?”

Before Mara had the chance to reply, Sera took her cue and began to walk backwards towards the café section of the bookstore. “Right, you bookworms have fun, I’ll save us a table an’ Kaeran, ya owe me a nice big choc’late chip cookie. No raisins, blegh!”

Both remaining women stared at Sera’s retreat with mild amusement.

Mara returns her attention to the shelf, skimming her fingers across the spines of the softcovers. “So, what are the chances that Sera will confuse me as you again?”

Kaeran lets out a long breath, “Pretty high, unfortunately.”

“Damn.”

[reaping-cain]

An excerpt from ch.8:

She must’ve been going too slowly with washing the ceramics since Cullen opened his mouth with a saucy comment.

“You done admiring my flatware?”

Kaeran paused in thought before sparing him a quick glance before picking up the pace.

“Should I be admiring something else?”

Kaeran, I love how you got all flustered around him in the last chapter, but you didn’t need to go for the jugular. I’m dying.

[reaping-cain]

Single Fereldan Man Seeks Female Companion: Chapter 7

Pardon me while I return from the ashes/writer’s block I’ve had for the last little while. I apologize in advance for how dialogue heavy this chapter is, this is what I get for having most of Cullen’s family drop by unexpectedly. As per usual, Cullen suffers through it. 

Chapter 7 is also on ao3 and the story so far can be found here.

Cullen just wants to die.

Or perhaps this was all a terrible dream: the perfect apartment didn’t exist, Kaeran was someone he imagined and he still lived in his horrible apartment that was falling apart.

Cullen mentally shakes his head; there’s no way that his mind could conjure someone like Kaeran. She seems too good to play the part of his girlfriend. He’d be lucky to find someone like her to spend the rest of his life with.

He wonders if he would be able to throw his family out after barely five minutes of excruciating questions about kisses and babies. He’s loath to make his niece and nephews cry, especially the younger one but the questioning had gone longer than he expected.

Maker, Mia barely had to say anything, content instead to let her children play twenty questions and make his heart race with panic.

He resigns to the fact that he loves his family too much to do such a thing. Plus his niece and nephews were experts with the wounded puppy eyes. He narrows his eyes at them. They were too bloody clever for such a young age. If they kept this up who knows how they would be once older.

Cullen smirks at the thought of his poor sister bemoaning of premature grey hairs. 

Let it happen, he thinks darkly.

“Hey Cullen, might want to ease up on the sinister smirk? You’re terrifying the little ones,” Kaeran joked.

He sighs, now firmly back to the present. Hopefully Kaeran wasn’t too scarred by the direction the conversation went.

His sisters insisted that they wouldn’t stay long yet somehow Kaeran convinced them to stick around for tea. Judging by the surprised exchange between his sisters, they didn’t expect the extended hospitality, not so soon after barging in the way they did. Or perhaps it was the offer of tea that threw them off; Cullen never had tea at his old apartment. Mia teased him for always having the tin of hot cocoa fully stocked.  

Kaeran had no idea that she earned high praises from his sisters for that simple gesture.

“We really don’t want to be a bother,” Mia insisted. She glanced at Cullen, suddenly worried that the surprise visit was ill advised and that perhaps they were overstepping.

“Nonsense, Cullen always talks about you all so much. It’s the perfect time too, just before we’re elbows deep in boxes,” Kaeran replied while searching around the kitchen, wincing at how bare it looked. “Too bad your brother Branson couldn’t make it.”

She made a cursory attempt in familiarizing herself with how Cullen set his kitchenware, whatever there was of it; it wasn’t bad but some adjustments could be made in efficiently organizing some of the more finicky household items.

“Honestly, it’s probably a good thing Bran couldn’t be here, there’s no more room to sit,” said Rosalie.

“I do have fold-out chairs, you know,” Cullen replied defensively.

“I’m honestly surprised that most of the furniture survived your last two addresses,” Mia said while running her fingers over the table they sat around. She kept staring at the surface; her eyes nostalgic, her thoughts miles and miles away, thinking fondly of the past and the good memories nestled there in the grain of the wood.

The table was a decent size and custom-made, possibly by someone who knew the Rutherfords well enough that the extra space was needed to seat a large family; though not ancient, the white oak table was old enough that it proudly displayed all the nicks and imperfections that came with raising four children. Kaeran even spotted a few crayon marks that were carefully preserved with a coat of varnish. She also noticed one of the legs was refitted with half of it made from another block of wood and stained to closely match the rest. The rustic furniture felt sacred somehow and not wanting to accidentally do something heathenish, Kaeran pulled out coasters for the scalding mugs. She even dug out the box of cardamom buns from the fridge as a tempting snack.

Moira gleefully grabbed one before conceding to sharing half with her brother. Mia declined and Rosalie hesitated. “Want to go halfsies?” Kaeran asked.

“No, really, it’s alright,” Rosalie protested gently while making a poor effort in looking away.

“Alright,” Kaeran said, grabbing an entire bun and cutting it in half before sliding the piece over with a napkin.

Cullen noticed Rosalie’s smirk before accepting the spiced pastry.

Oh no, he thought.

He could see the two of them becoming fast friends and quite possibly accomplices in teasing him endlessly. He resigned himself to that fate; after all, there are worse fates and Cullen thought that the worst of all would be a life unlived and lonely. Despite the lack of a love life, he had family, friends, his health and a job—not one he imagined, but it sufficed him for now—so all things considered, at this precise moment he found himself content.

The kitchen was quiet as everyone indulged in the tea and snack; it felt like a victory and that nothing could go wrong. It was at this point that Mia took the opportunity to ask the sensible yet terrifying question, “So how did you two meet?”

-//-

Slowly and with great restraint, Kaeran and Cullen looked at each other, both unsure how to describe their first encounter other than we just met a few weeks ago and thought it would be a lark to pose as a couple to get this apartment.

“We met some time ago, at Dorian and Bull’s engagement party.”

Thank the gods that Cullen came up with that answer because she certainly wasn’t going to come up with something as plausible as that. It was brilliant actually, considering that Dorian was a common friend.

Yet there was something else that troubled her about this new bit of information. If he was present at the engagement party then they must’ve…

Kaeran nearly choked on her bite of the pastry as it dawned on her.

Mythal no, he couldn’t have…

Have they met before?

-//-

Cullen carefully stirs the spoon, swirling the contents in his mug. It’s a distraction from his older sister’s exacting gaze while he thinks what to say next. He decides to go with the believable and finds inspiration from a more recent memory and hopes Kaeran will forgive him. He doesn’t notice how awfully still she is and equally wrapped in her own thoughts; he’s far too preoccupied with the looks his sisters exchange to even think that something was amiss.  

“I was only going to stay for a couple of hours, enough to satisfy Dorian before things got out of hand.”

“You mean before the ladies catch a whiff that you’re single,” Rosalie teases.

He snorts into his mug, taking his time while sipping the scalding drink.

“Yes, yes, before it comes to that. Anyway, I’m about to leave when I see her,” he turns to look at her, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. She responds with a small smile, hoping that it doesn’t come out forced.

“Details, Cullen, we need details!”

“Did you two dance? How did you introduce yourself?”

“What were you wearing?” Rosalie asks Kaeran.

She blinks dumbly. What was she wearing at the engagement party? Her mind goes to the first dress she remembers that sits crumpled in her duffle bag.

“Black cocktail dress, lace sleeves with a pretty black bow on the front.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely!”

“Go on, Cullen, how did you exactly meet?” Mia prods, excited for the details but not wanting to rush. It had been ages (far too many) since she pestered her brother about his love life.  

“Well,” he has a few seconds to think of the circumstance of their supposed first encounter when Kaeran swipes her thumb against his hand, giving him the boost of confidence he needed.

“She was sitting on the edge of the fountain outside the hall. At first, I thought she was drunk because she was barefoot but as I got closer--”

“Cullen approaching drunk girls, ha!” Rosalie exclaims, interrupting him.

“I wasn’t—” Kaeran starts only to stop. She can’t correct him nor can she rewrite the events of that night. There are two versions, the real and heart wrenching night she had and the fantasy that Cullen was weaving together. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t pick up the story and divert it elsewhere without raising suspicions; she had to trust him and if she was being honest with herself, she was curious to see where Cullen would take the story.  

“Do you want to hear the story or not?” He frowns and the way his face scrunches has Kaeran imagining him much younger and pouting at his sisters’ teasing. She restrains herself from actually cooing at him…in front of him and his sisters.

Rosalie snaps her jaw shut and with index and thumb, mimes sealing her lips shut. Mia only nods, encouraging her brother to continue.

“I thought she was drunk because she was barefoot but when I got closer, I saw her shoes were tossed aside and one of them had the heel snapped off. Nothing could’ve been done to fix them on the spot. I asked her if there was anything I could do, if she came with someone and needed their help. I secretly hoped that she wasn’t attached to someone and would accept my assistance.”

He looks at her and finds her blushing. The unexpected reaction makes him burn, not with shame but something else entirely, a nearly forgotten feeling. He hopes his hands don’t start to sweat, especially the one that still holds hers. Ever faithful in her part, Kaeran gives his hand a small squeeze, rallying him to keep going.

The corners of his mouth tick upwards before he resumes.

-//-

Finally, after a couple of refills of tea and the demise of the pastry buns, Mia, Rosalie and the children get ready to leave. While Kaeran cooed over Cullen’s youngest nephew who slept the entire stay while strapped to his mother, Mia pulled Cullen aside to have a moment alone.

“Can we talk?”

The question makes Cullen go rigid. He’s afraid to glance at Kaeran. Did she hear Mia? Part of him dreaded that his sister saw through his machinations. Mia was ever observant and very little slipped past her without her knowledge. She always knew how to read him but also when to give him space and when he needed to talk—even when he felt too vulnerable, too close to the breaking point, the eldest Rutherford always knew.

He leads her out of the main living room and down the hallway. As they walked, he tried not to feel so small. He was a grown man and couldn’t always rely on his sister to know what was best for him. She had children of her own for Maker’s sake.

“What is it?” he goes for nonchalant. Tries to, anyway.

They’re standing in front of Cullen’s bedroom and he silently curses at the fact that the room looks more like it has one occupant rather than a couple. He hopes that Mia doesn’t notice how pitifully barren the bedroom looks with just the large bed in the center, the dresser pushed to one wall and the desk against the other.

Mia’s eyebrows quirk at the sight of boxes piled haphazardly.  

“No comment,” she mumbles, fidgeting with the handles of her tote bag. Cullen can’t help but detect her motherly tone.

She purses her lips and studies his face silently. Despite the years of experience, Mia is careful with her words. He wonders for the umpteenth time what she would’ve been like had their parents been around longer, would she choose differently or would she be just as concerned?

“Are you happy?”

He blinks. “Happy?”

“Well, you two haven’t been dating that long and decide to move in together. Don’t get me wrong, your girlfriend is rather lovely. Rosalie is smitten with her already.”

Cullen snorts at that.

“Well, she can’t have her.”

The faux indignation bleeds into a tinge of possessiveness and he has to remind himself to reel it back, that Kaeran isn’t really his at all. They’re more than acquaintances, closer to partners in this scheme. He realizes that they barely discussed the terms of their pretend relationship and things nearly went sideways when his sisters surprised them with the unplanned visit. He makes a mental note to discuss boundaries with Kaeran later on before anyone else decides to make a surprise visit.

He realizes that he still hasn’t answered Mia’s question. He’s torn between lying and coming clean about the whole thing but then he remembers how content he felt back when they were in the kitchen gathered around the table. Even though Kaeran wasn’t his girlfriend, he still felt lighter than he could remember. This place, having someone like her as a roommate, it made sense to him somehow; like a step in the right direction with no hurry to find the next one and trusting that he’ll get to where he was meant to be.

He clears his throat.

“I am happy. She makes me happy, Mia. You needn’t worry.”

“Beatrice also made you happy. For a while, anyway. Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought her up.” Mia rarely flushed and Cullen felt guilty. He gently pulled her into a hug.

“I’m not mad, Mia. She was right and I don’t fault her at all. I learned a lot since then and it’s brought me here.”

Mia pulled away, nodding.

“Well, as long as you’re happy, we’re happy for you.”

“Thank you, Mia.”

“Though, warn her about Bran. He might have the same idea as us and drop by unexpectedly.”

He chuckles, eyes narrowing. “I’d like to see him try and sweep Kaeran off her feet.”

“Oh, you’re that confident? She better be faithful, otherwise I will have some stern words with her.”

“You’ll put the fear of the Maker in her?”

She grinned at him widely. “I doubt that it’ll come to that, Cullen.”

He glanced at the tote bag she carried.

“Was this private meeting meant to assuage your concerns, or is there something else?”

“Oh, right!” she opened the bag, pulling out a wooden box and offering it to him.

It occurred to Cullen that until that moment he had completely forgotten about the wooden relic and with some hesitation he took it from her, cradling it in his hands as though it was a sacred token. No, it absolutely is sacred. He felt a lump in his throat and the corners of his eyes began to sting. The world around them seemed to hush and he was very much aware of his heart beating rather loudly.

He was still staring at the wooden box when a gentle hand pressed against one of his.

“Where—how? I thought it was lost in—”

“I thought so too but Bran found it in one of their boxes.”

He looked at her and saw how her eyes misted over. He shook his head and offered her the box.

“I can’t have this. Out of all the things we have left—” of them he wanted to say.

She calmly pushed it back towards him, her voice firm and with the authority of being the eldest sibling, “We have other things just as precious. It’s time that you have a piece of your own.”

He blinked the tears away and cleared his throat. “Right, um, thank you.”

She placed a hand on his arm, patting lightly.

“Anyway, this gives me an excuse to come over more often.”

He jerked his head at that, indignant.

“Mia…”

“Don’t you ‘Mia’ me, Cullen Stanton Rutherford! You owe me that rematch!”

-//-

Watching Cullen with his siblings was interesting; they laughed, joked, argued and flustered. Seeing these kinds of interactions always had Kaeran wondering what her life would have been like with siblings. Would she be a different person? Would some of the decisions she made change if she had someone else to look out for?

Looking at the Rutherford sisters, she can see how they each stood out in their own way but together they were a complementary force.

Between Cullen and his sisters, she saw the family resemblance and marveled at how their mannerisms and facial expressions matched. Mia and Cullen were like twins, especially when frowning or teasing one another while Rosalie mirrored her brother’s pensive look but added an eye roll when annoyed. Kaeran also noticed that Rosalie favoured small smiles like Cullen but hers were still wider than his. She tried not to overthink what that could mean.

Instead, she tried to imagine what the mysterious Branson Rutherford looked like. Was he the spitting image of Cullen but younger and more carefree? It was impossible to imagine a twin version of Cullen without that scar. As she chewed on her bottom lip, the fingers of her left hand went to her face, idling touching her marks. She was awfully thankful that no one mentioned or stared at her burn marks.

Since she visited her parents, she hadn’t put any of that dreadful cream on. It still sat in her duffle bag unbothered as she unpacked some of her belongings. When Cullen showed up at the apartment—their apartment—she worried that perhaps she should have covered up her marks, at least make them less noticeable and make her more presentable.

And then, Cullen’s sisters and niece and nephews arrived unexpectedly and she wanted nothing more than to hide, fearing their judgment and mentally kicking herself for not thinking about what his family would think about dating someone like her. What did they think of her? Had Cullen mentioned anything to them?

She braced herself for the children to say something about her face and yet there were no comments or questions about it. They just wanted to know if she was their aunt now and if there would be babies. Tears welled in her eyes and it was such a strange mixture of feelings that she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what she felt.

“So, when’s the housewarming party?”

Kaeran didn’t realize that she was left alone with Rosalie and the children. She hadn’t even considered throwing a party, perhaps foolish even considering that her and Cullen weren’t romantically involved. Still, it would be a nice excuse to have friends over. Whatever friends were left, she thought bitterly.

“Housewarming?” she started.

“Party?” Moira chimed in. It was adorable to watch her eyes grow wide with excitement.  

“Can I come?” the girl entreated with her aunt and looked back at Kaeran for support.

Great. No pressure whatsoever. She fidgeted, running her hand nervously through her hair and gathering it to the side.

“Well, I don’t know…”

“Pleeeaase!” Moira turned to her aunt, puppy eyes in full effect. Kaeran let out a small sigh of relief that Cullen’s niece didn’t shoot that look her way.

“Housewarmings are more for adults, Moira.”

“I don’t want to set Moira’s hopes up, but maybe if you guys come over earlier in the afternoon? If it doesn’t put a wrench in your schedule, I mean, I don’t know your plans but it would be nice.”

Kaeran hopes that the offer doesn’t come back to haunt her; she spares a thought for Cullen, unsure of what he would think. Did he dislike parties? Was this one huge misstep?

Rosalie considers for a moment, ignoring her petulant niece.

“I don’t see a problem but…” she trails, grinning wickedly at Moira, “there are two conditions: first, your mommy has to say yes to you going and you have to help out with decorating since Kaeran can’t do it all by herself.”

Kaeran laughs off the demand, “I’m sure Cullen wouldn’t mind helping, there’s no need to put the kids to work.”

“Please, my brother is absolutely useless in all things fun, it’s not part of his vocabulary and if he recognized it, he’d cease to function.”

“I heard that,” Cullen calls from the hallway. Mia reappears before her brother with a barely contained smile. Kaeran tries not to laugh at his annoyed expression.

“What are you two conspiring?” Mia asks.

“Oh, just planning a housewarming party.” Rosalie replies too casually.

“Whose housewarming?”

“Yours and Kaeran’s, you dolt.” Rosalie challenges him, “there’s no way getting around it this time.”

Cullen rolls his eyes while Kaeran briefly glances his way. There was another time?

“Mommy,” Moira calls oh so innocently. “Can I go to Uncle Cullen and Aunt Kaeran’s housewarming party?”

“Oh, I’m not sure, sweetheart, usually that’s for grown ups.”

“But, Aunt Rosie said that I can help with decorations.”

“It’s a nice thought but it takes a lot of work and those kinds of parties start way past your bedtime.”

Not wanting to see Moira’s hopes getting crushed, Kaeran adds, “Actually, I mentioned to Rosalie that it wouldn’t be a problem and we can have you all over earlier if that works.”

Mia purses her lips, thinking. Moira stares up at her silently, hoping with all her might.

“Cullen?”

“Mia,” he replies, his voice unreadable.

“Would it be alright by you if we stopped by earlier, before the party?”

He sighs. “I suppose there’s no way around this.”

“Nope.” Rosalie’s grin is wide and possibly nefarious. Kaeran believes she’s her kindred sister.  

“Alright, fine,” he deflates, “We’ll get back to you with a date, and you better be free that day because I won’t change it.”

“Fine,” both sisters reply coolly. Moira jumps up and down while whispering ‘yes’ under her breath.

Barring Cullen, it felt like a victory.

When Mia, Rosalie and the children left, Kaeran found herself on the precipice of the unknown. She had met most of his family, what was the next step?

Once his family was out of view, Cullen leaned against the front door before turning around. With eyes closed he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to dispel the uneasy feeling creeping in his gut. He decided that rather than reflect further on the jumbled feelings that he needed a distraction.

“Kaeran?”

“Hmm?” she danced into his view. Maker, she must be made of magic since all uncomfortable thoughts and sensations vanished when he opened his eyes.

The back of his neck felt warm and his fingers itched to rub that spot. He cleared his throat instead.

“I know that the housewarming party idea was hatched by my sister, she can’t resist planning events even if she’s on mat leave. But since you struck a deal with her, here’s my deal to you: you and me finally get to have that lunch and I’ll help you set up your bedframe. Deal?”

She looks down, hiding her flushed face as best she can with her curtain of hair. She just knows that her exposed pointed pink ear gives her away. Still, she addresses the floor while toeing a nearby whorl.

“Not sure that’s a fair deal for you.”

“Regardless, that’s my offer.”

She looks up and finds that he’s closer than she anticipated. Apparently this human is capable of sneaking up on her and she’s suddenly very hungry but not for the sushi in the fridge.

“Alright,” Kaeran smiles, her eyes devouring him whole. “I accept your offer.”

Likes and reblogs make this batty bat happy  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[reaping-cain]

Good news, things are falling into place and it's great to have a physical blueprint. And now the bad news, I'm still at the beginning of the story and just starting to ascend to the first mountaintop that looks more like a hilltop compared to the upcoming upheavals. I blotted out the spoilers but thought to tease you guys about Rylen. :/ :/ :/

[reaping-cain]

4, 18, 25

This was supposed to be angsty but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Lots of staring and retweaking the prompt. I hope it’s to your liking!

Picking up the threads. Post-Trespasser, canon verse (Cullen x Kaeran) Slight angst but with happy ending. 1717 words.

Life after the Exalted Council was quite the adjustment. Officially they were disbanded but under this pretense, the skeleton team was hard-pressed to find the Dread Wolf and end his madness. Even after the encounter, the Inquisitor was having difficulties in taking things easy and delegate others to do the work while she recuperated. Cullen noticed since the weeks leading to the Council that Kaeran had been erratic and prone to fly between various moods. In the end, he thought that his wife’s flighty behaviour was caused by stress of her work and the growing instability of the anchor. 

Now with the seeming demise of the second Inquisition and the threat of the mark removed, Cullen wasn’t so sure that Kaeran was quite on the mend; the loss of her arm was disastrous and it pained to see her withdrawn and so vulnerable. A part of him worried about their future and whether they could see through this seemingly insurmountable hurdle. And then, and then…she surprised him with a joke when she awoke, seemingly in a better state of mind.

“I’m sorry…”

“Maker, whatever for?”

A small laugh burst from her dry lips, her eyes watery but not sad.

“This must be hands down the worst honeymoon in all of history.”

Cullen looked at her incredulously, unsure how to respond. Finally, he decided to slowly crowd her on the bed, leaning close and giving her time to voice objection. He so wanted to kiss her, cradle her against him and rub soothing circles down her back. He hopes one day soon that she would let him. 

“My darling Inquisitor, did you just make a joke?”

“I did,” she said proudly, her body starting to tremble with barely contained laughter.

There were tears that followed, both happy and heart wrenching. Without hesitation, he joined her under the blankets, rolling her onto his side with her head against his chest. They spent the rest of the day in bed with few words said; the companionable silence and warmth trapped between them a balm for both.  

Weeks had passed since then and some progress was made. Or so Cullen thought.   

One morning he awoke to find her spot of their bed empty. He saw that the large doors to the balcony were wide open. Curious, he went towards them and saw Kaeran sitting, contemplating over a small crate. It took her a moment to realize her husband was watching, and startled, she slammed the crate shut, looking sheepish.

“Sorry, um…hungry?” she asked. 

He found that he was quite hungry but his curiosity was more pressing.

“What’s in there?”

“Nothing but trinkets I found during my travels. Boring, really.”

“I have nowhere else to be but I understand if you don’t want to share.”

She urged him to come close, reaching for his hand; when he offered it, she leaned forward to kiss it before squeezing it a few times. The look in her eyes worried him.

“Someday soon, when I am brave.”

He wanted to tell her how brave she already was, that nothing could diminish his love for her. He hated how words failed him in such moments.

A few hours later, Cullen noticed that the crate disappeared. He tried not to think about it or the fact that his wife was keeping things from him. 

The crate reappeared a fortnight later.

Whatever was in that crate, it called to Kaeran in the dead of night. Cullen frequently woke up to find himself alone in their bed. He reasoned that his wife needed space, yet even that hurt. If she needed the space, perhaps he ought to give her more time for herself during the day?

When he told her that he had some work to do and couldn’t keep her company, he watched for her reaction. He tried to ignore her fake enthusiasm. That day was one of the most painful in recent memory and he hardly got anything done.More days passed and it seemed that the arrangement worked; he would give her space and she no longer snuck out of bed while he slept. Cullen was conflicted about this development and though it was comforting to awake with her in his arms, he still woke up at night worrying that she might leave his side again.

One day Cullen was particularly frustrated and decided to leave his office early. He brought some papers with him, still feeling guilty for not doing enough and walked back to their shared quarters. 

Ever since their return from the Exalted Council, Cullen hadn’t worn his armour. The lack of a war, and the terse, yet civil alliance between Orlais and Ferelden meant that there was no need for it. It also wasn’t necessary when he was tending to his wife’s every needs while bedridden. The lack of armour also meant that Cullen was able to move more freely and not clang with each step he took. 

He finds Kaeran lounging on the chaise which had been moved closer to the roaring hearth. With her back to him, she was unaware of his entrance and completely absorbed with whatever was making soft clicking sounds. Cullen wondered if she wasn’t working out one of Dagna’s puzzles. His eyes wandered over her relaxed form, how her hair absorbed the warm glow of the fire and how the lighting accented her shaved patch. 

Cullen approached slowly, not wanting to disrupt his wife’s preoccupation. He was perfectly content with just greeting his wife and possibly play with her hair when he saw the crate again, this time it was open. 

As though sensing that she was not alone, Kaeran whipped her head around and with a flash of light, dropped what she was holding. Neither of them said a word. 

Again, words fail him. He was brought up on action and reaction, so he followed his instincts. He moves to face her fully, his back to the fire and watches her expression. If she wants him to leave she will have to say it. Instead, she pats the space beside her and he joins her on the chaise. 

That’s when he sees the bundle of wool on her lap and he reaches to touch it, careful to not have the precious material slip from one of the wooden needles.

 “What in the Maker are you making?” 

“Is it that bad?”

He assesses the project. He doesn’t know much about knitting but he can see that the stitches aren’t as consistent as the scarf she had knit him so long ago.

 “How,” he begins, “how are you able to knit again?” It sounds like a stupid question but he’s too curious to choose his words carefully. He hopes Kaeran will forgive him.

“Oh, right,” she remembers and reaches for her empty sleeve with her right hand. 

He notices briefly that there’s an iron bangle hugging her stump and as she twists it gently, a shimmering light grows and fills the space of her missing limb. He knows he should say something, but for once he finds himself with too many words and they’re all trying to fly out of his mouth. Flapping his mouth open and closed makes his wife smirk. Oh how he missed that look.

“I can’t believe you!”

“My love?”

“This,” he gestures to the abandoned knitting project in her lap, the open crate and her actual phantom limb. “All of this, this is what you were hiding from me? Why you would disappear at night?”

“Oh Cullen, I had no idea that you knew about my nightly obsession.” 

She wants to reach for him with both hands but hesitates, not wanting to overwhelm him. Instead, she teases his hair with her right hand before cradling the side of his face and running her thumb over his ear, hoping the gesture soothes some of his ruffled feathers. It finally dawns on her.

“Is this why you started giving me some time for myself during the day?” 

He gives her a small smile before nodding. His eyes suddenly have too much moisture in them and he blinks several times.

“My husband,” she murmurs, kissing the tip of his nose. “Ever so thoughtful.”

He clears his throat, now slightly flushed from sudden emotions and the hearth.

“So, one of Dagna’s creations?”

“Oh, yes. A work in progress, we’re testing out a few things but this seems to be consistent.”

“A pity that your knitting isn’t.”

She smacks him for it and he chortles. How he missed that annoyed look.

“I’m working on it. I have plenty of time to get reacquainted with my knitting needles but I can’t slack off.”

“I think you deserve to slack off once in a while. You did save the world.”

“Twice.”

“Mhm.” He toys with the wool, frowning at the wonky t shape.

“What in the Maker are you making?”

“Boots.”

“They’re awfully small.”

“Well, I have to start somewhere.”

“Right.”

“And then it’s a matter of trying to keep up. Three months, six months, a year old.”

Cullenstops thumbing at the wool. “Kaeran.”

“Yes,dearest?” 

She rests her hand on his, she sees them tremble and fears that sheoverdid it.

Perhaps it was too much too soon. 

Or perhaps he was having another episode of withdrawal. When he has yet to respond, she goes to touch his forehead but freezes when he finally looks up, staring back at her. 

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“No, Cullen, I expected to bring our child into this world without your knowledge and only inform you with a missive hand delivered by your favourite scout. Honestly!” 

“Our child,” he breathed. All this time worrying and fearing the worst, that his wife no longer loved him, and all for happy news and love reaffirmed. 

“I was going to tell you soon, when I felt brave enough.”

He pulls her into his arms, holding her tightly while caressing her hair.

“My fierce little tempest, you’re the bravest person I know. I am so happy, I love you so much. I could kiss you right now!”

Kaeran pulls onto his shirt, grabbing his attention. She doesn’t need to, she already has it, always will.

“You should, you really should.”

Whatever fears cling to him, they fade when his lips meet hers.

–//

Likes and reblogs make this batty bat happy  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[reaping-cain]

Angst/Fluff Prompts

I was supposed to go to the library and do some research for a job but seeing as that didn’t happen, I’m open for some Dragon Age prompts. All AUs are open, including mountie!au, rival neighbours!au, curling!au, modern and both canon and dark!verse.

I often write Kaeran Lavellan x Cullen stuff, but Rhona (Lavellan) and Kjell Frostborn (Avvar OC) are also available. 

Prompt list here

I’ll get cracking later tonight and will continue tomorrow. 

[reaping-cain]

im-not-great-at-making-up-names replied to your photoset: Kaeran Lavellan Wardrobe I saw @thevikingwoman do...

This is so cool and the outfits are great!!

more-aoe replied to your photoset: Kaeran Lavellan Wardrobe I saw @thevikingwoman do...

Whoa that’s so much time put into this! <3 

Thank you!! Also this was such a timesink and I went to bed later than I would’ve liked but it was fun.

[reaping-cain]

OC Strengths & Flaws

The wonderful @mysdrym tagged me for the character strengths and flaws/weaknesses meme/post thing. Aside from Kaeran and Rhona, I’m also throwing in my Avvarian OC, Kjell Frostborn. You haven’t met him yet but this will force me to write more.

Kaeran Lavellan (canon inquisitor)

⚔ FLAWS

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | vengeful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | over analytical

♛ STRENGTHS

| honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm |

Rhona Lavellan 

⚔ FLAWS

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | vengeful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | over analytical

♛ STRENGTHS

| honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm |

Kjell Frostborn (Avvarian) - no picture

⚔ FLAWS

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | vengeful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | over analytical

♛ STRENGTHS

| honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm |

Tagging @im-not-great-at-making-up-names, @more-aoe and anyone else who would like to share their OCs. ^_^