#justfloatingthroughtime

[iloverace]

shoutout your “biggest fans”!!

@bigmack2go

@selfproclaimedspotconnoisseur

@justfloatingthroughtime

@unofficially-racetrack

[solkys]

I can’t lie...you are very cute

can’t and won’t lie either, you’re very kind!

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Could I Request a fix with Winn Schott and 4. Romantic Gestures? (I love Winn and there are never enough fics about him)

Several things: - This did not turn out as Winn-centric as I’d hoped, apologies.- It’s also not romantic at all, sorry.- I know that’s supposed to be ‘fic’ but my brain ran with ‘fix’ so. *grabs a nail gun and some two-by-fours* Let’s do this.

...

Thealien bar is muted tonight.

Allsoft sounds and yellow light. There's only one game of pool; just ahandful of regulars leaning lazily over the table. Even thebreak—usually so sudden and sharp above the overlappingconversations—is easier on the ears. A muffled clacking, as opposedto a gunfire crack.

Karacan actually hear the song playing on the radio, words and all,without having to use her 'alien ears.' It's a familiar tune, but shecan't place the name.

Shelikes the guitar. Judging by the twang, it's country.

“Thisis nice.”

Winnis sitting next to her, not drunk, but getting there. His glass ismore empty than it is full, and there's a couple more just like itoff to the side, insides awash with the the white spiderwebs ofleftover foam.

“Yeah,it is,” Kara agrees with a smile.

“Thetwo of us,” Winn continues, sitting back in his chair, “catchingup after a long day of work. Just like old times!”

“Yeah,”Kara agrees again.

“Andlike,” he waves a hand. “Sometimes. Sometimes you just need afriends night, you know?”

Thisearns the first emphatic, “Yeah,”of the evening, as Kara slams her hand down on the table. Tempered,of course. “Yeah. I do know.” She's not drunk, but she's buzzed.Most of the alien ale she ordered is still in the glass, and thoughit's far more potent than any alcohol found on Earth, she stillmetabolizes it fairly quickly. She swears she can feel it burningthrough her system, already fading.

“Whydon't we have more friends nights, Kara?” Winn wants to know. “Whyhave we not had a Mario Kart rematch?”

Karashrugs, and nudges her glass around the tabletop, watching as itleaves a wet path in its wake.

“Idon't know. I guess we're just...busy?”

Winntakes a sip of his beer.

“Toobusy for Mario Kart?” he sounds wounded.“God, that'sdepressing. When did that happen?”

Karashrugs again. “We just. Have a lot going on,” she suggests. “Youknow. Saving the world. Work. Dating.”

“Mmfg,yeah,” Winn takes a swig of beer and nods. “I totally get thegamer stereotypes now. Having a social life? Leaves very little timefor video games. You know. In case you were wondering.”

“I'mshocked. Shocked, to find that gambling is going on in here!” Karasays, and Winn squints at the ceiling.

“That'sa reference. I don't know what the reference is...but that's areference.” He reaches over and pats her on the shoulder. “I'm soproud.”

Karalaughs, and considers taking a celebratory sip of her ale, but itdoesn't really taste good, and the buzz isn't worth the burn,as it turns out. “So how are things with Lyra?” she asks. Theyare catching up, after all.

Winndoes not answer right away.

“Oh,you know,” he gestures vaguely. “Things are. Things are...fine.”

“Just'fine?'” Kara throws in a surprised chuckle, because not even twoweeks ago, Lyra was all Winn could talk about.

Ofcourse. There was the whole...art theft thing, but last Kara hadheard, they'd worked that out.

“Great,I mean. Things are...great. Obviously,” Winn's eyes are on Kara,but she gets the sense that he's talking to himself. “We're good.You know, like you and Mon-El.”

“Right,yeah,” Kara grins. “Like me and Mon-El.”

Theystare at one another for a moment or two, and, in a bit of unplannedsynchronicity, both reach for their glasses and take a drink.

“Thisbeer it's—it's really good,” Winn says, returning his glass tothe coaster.

“Yeah,this...” Kara tries to remember the name of the concoction, voice just the slightest bit rough as the liquid stings the back of her throat. “Thisis also really good,” she lies.

Andthey're both sitting there, neither one willing to admit thattraitorous voices at the back of their minds saying: Things arenot great. (The same voice, that, in Kara’s case, anyway, adds: also, this drink sucks.)

Ofcourse, Winn is not drunk, but he is getting there. So heleans forward and plants his elbows on the tablet, splaying hisfingers on the surface, tapping the tacky surface for emphasis as hespeaks.

“Should...shouldit be so...difficult?” he asks, and he appears genuinelycurious about this.

Karaadjusts her glasses.

“Uh,should what be so difficult?”

“Like.Relationships, you know? Should it be...hard? A struggle?”

“Relationshipstake work,” Kara says, reciting the words without much feeling, butclearly with the implicit belief that it's more or less true.

“No,no, I get that,” Winn says, “I get the. The stayingtogether thing, needing work. Like. Ha ha, child of a broken homehere,” he points to himself and his laugh is possibly the saddestthing Kara has witnessed in a while. She rubs his shoulder. “Iguess, I mean.” He pauses, and stares at his empty glass. He huffsin annoyance. “What do I mean? Geez.”

“Itshouldn't feel like a fight all the time,” Kara says, andshe doesn't know where that comes from. What corner of her mind those words sprang from,words that have just. Tumbled out of her mouth.

(Maybeshe's a little more buzzed than she thought.)

Winnnods slowly.

“Yeah.Yes. That's,” he turns on the bar stool, so that he's fullyfacing her. “That's exactly what I mean. Like. It shouldfeel worth it, right?” He's animated now. “The, the hardstuff...should make the other stuff better, but...” heclenches his fists, unclenches them. “But it's just. All hard. Allthe time.”

Karastares at her hands.

“...Yeah,”she quietly agrees.

Fora while, they sit in mutual silence, both more than alittle...conflicted...over the turn this conversation has taken. Thebar seems loud again. The gunfire quality of the cue ball isback, the conversations stacking up on one another, rising in volume.The song playing on the radio is heavy on the synth and drums.

Kararegrets the alien booze, now. She has a harder time filtering, whenshe's not...fully there, in terms of higher brain functions.

“Iknow that look,” Winn says, indicating her slight grimace. “Weshould probably pack it in.” And Kara's fine to go along with thecharade. The, 'we've had too much, clearly this is just the beertalking, let's go back to our lives and pretend this conversationnever took place' charade. “Uber, or Lyft?”

Thatneither of them even entertain the possibility of calling uptheir significant other does not go unnoticed but. Again, like therest of this evening, it is swept under the figurative rug.Internalized and left to fester for another day.

“Ithink I'm just gonna walk,” Kara says. It's not far, and the nightair will feel good. The alcohol will burn off after a block or two,and then she can fly the rest of the way.

“Yousure?”

“Yeah.”

Winnends up going with Lyft, and the two pay their tab before headingoutside. As Kara anticipated, the breeze is nice. Not as cold as shewould prefer, but still bracing enough to help shake off some of thebar-melancholy that clings to the pair like unwanted dryer lint.

“I'llwait with you,” Kara offers.

“Thanks,”Winn says. He shoves his hands in his pockets, and Kara remembersthat it's probably colder out here for him. She offers her jacket.

Anyother guy would make some sort of weird fuss over the offer, butWinn just gratefully accepts the article of clothing and hunchesagainst the wind.

“Youever think about just,” Winn starts to say. Kara looks at him.“Just. Not. Trying so hard?”

Karadoesn't follow.

“What?”

“...If it's doesn’t feel worth it and it's hard--Wouldn't it be niceto...not force this stuff?”

Hesways a little, under the jacket, and his eyes are a touch unfocused.After an evening of getting there, Winn is, at last, drunk.

ButKara thinks she gets the idea.

Shethinks about how...easy all the other relationships in herlife are, compared to what she has going on with Mon-El right now. Sure, those relationships...they’re not perfect, but they're certainly more...Kara tries to think of a good word. Comfortable? 

She thinks about game nights with her friends, and movies with Alex,and how effortless it all is. How she can so readily navigatefriendships, and family.

Theromance stuff...

Shewonders if she'll ever have that figured out. Or, if she even reallywants to have that figured out. That it’s her decision, and not. Not...other people telling her that it is.

“Itwould be nice, yeah,” Kara agrees. She takes a deep breath, andforces a smile. “Guess we'll have to keep working on it.”

“Mmm.”Winn looks down the street, and spots the Accord that's supposed topick him up. He gives Kara her jacket back. “Yeah. We can. Comparenotes.” He sounds a little hopeful.

“Absolutely,”Kara means it. She...likes the idea, of having someone to talk toabout...this. Someone else who gets it. “When we aren'tinebriated.”

“Oh,don't do that, don't show off your...your big, fancy reportervocabulary. You're making my brain hurt.”

“Prettysure that's the beer, doing that.”

“Getouttaherewith your logic,” he flaps a hand at her, and laughs.

Yes,definitely drunk.

“Ithink,” Kara decides, right then and there, “that I should makesure you get to your apartment alright.”

Andagain, any other guy? Would put up a fight.

Winn,though, nods in agreement.

SoKara gets into the car with him, and when they arrive at Winn'sbuilding, she walks him to the door, and gives him a half-hug whilehe fumbles for his keys.

“Thanks,Kara,” he says. “You're a good friend.”

“Backatcha, Winn.”

“Friendshipis like, the best, right?” he says, opening the door. (Aftertwo or three failed attempts.) “Better than—” he stops, butKara knows what he was about to say. Or, at least. She's mentally filled in theblank herself. “...It's just the best.”

AndKara, clear-eyed and sober, readily agrees.

“Yeah,Winn. It really is.”

[philociraptorsquad]

This isn't really a proper request, but I love love love your Winn x Reader's and I can never get enough of them. I feel like barely anyone writes them. The more the better! ❤️

Thank you so much!

I love writing them for you guys! And you’re right, there definitely needs to be more of them! (He’s such an underrated character!) 

Also, just so you guys know, you don’t have to have a request to come into my ask box. I’m here if you ever want to talk or just say “Hi!” :)

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 31) - Birthday Cake

Summary: Jensen’s Birthday...amongst other things

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1760

Warnings: All the fluff, implied smut, and then a little minor swearing, and some angsty bits sprinkled in, talk of an accident

A/N:  Couldn’t help myself with this chapter gif. lol Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

You had taken Jensen’s suggestion of going to see a therapist with the hopes that it might curb the nightmares, having been going once or twice a week for the last couple of months. It was helping, you hadn’t had any of the really bad ones for a while, leaving you with the minor ones to deal with.

You couldn’t get in to see the doctor for your hand until the middle of March, having already called twice to try and move up your appointment. You were still scared as hell at the thought of dealing with it; managing to put all of that aside though when it came to Jensen’s birthday.

There was no way you could make him a cake or anything at the apartment and keep it a secret for his birthday. You were still spending a couple of days a week at the café, making sure things were running ok, orders were getting placed and inventory was getting done. You weren’t the owner, and technically didn’t have to do all of that, but you liked helping out, feeling like you had a purpose. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you were feeling like you didn’t know how much longer you’d be able to help.

It was a smaller cake, nothing crazy, able to feed a few dozen people. You had talked to Bob one of the days that you had visited the set, asking if they were going to be ordering in cakes for the cast and crew. He told you they were, so you the two of you decided to hold off for a couple days and surprise him.

At the café the next day you were trying to decide what flavor to do for him. He is a fan of chocolate, that’s always a classic, why not? After a few minutes deciding on chocolate cake with a dark chocolate mousse filling covered in chocolate ganache. I mean if we’re going to do chocolate, might as well go all out right? Make the last one special?

A couple days later, the day before you were to take it to set, you had decorated it with chocolate garnishes and writing. It really was one of your favorite cakes that you had done, despite how your arms were feeling. Anything for him. You couldn’t wait to get on set and give this to him, especially with what you had planned out.

Jensen’s POV

My birthday was three days ago, and nothing had happened, save for a few well wishes from a couple people. Not that I ever asked for any of the crew to do anything, but they always do something special for birthdays, so it was a little weird when nothing came up. Especially after doing this for thirteen years. I put it to the back of my mind since Misha, Jared and I were getting ready to film another scene in the bunker.

We took our marks, starting in the kitchen, and set up for the scene. Bob had given us some loose instruction on being able to adlib a few lines, just to see where it went. He knew how the three of us worked, and knew that we would get the take we wanted; even if it took a couple tries.

Dean: Any idea on what we’re dealing with? grabs beer from fridge

Sam: Not a clue. I’m sure the archives would have something. shrugs There could even be something in the library?

Dean: Don’t you have the library catalogue memorized by now?

Sam: classic Sam bitch face look to Dean

Cas: He’s not wrong, Dean. It’s worth a shot. Then if we can’t find anything, we can go down to the archives.

Dean: sighs Fine.

Walks to library

Dean: Where do…what the hell? Realizes adlib Why is it pitch black in here?

Sam: …Maybe we forgot to pay the electric bill?

Cas: You don’t pay for electricity…

Sam: clasps hand on Cas’s shoulder Never mind buddy.

Dean: Are there even light switches in this room? I’ve honestly never noticed…

Suddenly the lights turn on and Y/N is sitting on the table, legs crossed with a cake sitting next to her.

“Happy Birthday, Jensen!”

I couldn’t even begin to tell anyone how happy I was at the surprise, I was just happy to have her in my arms, walking quickly to her and sweeping her up in a hug. “Wow! How did you manage this?” She just laughed. God that laugh, I’ll never get enough of it.

“Bob helped me out with this one. Hope you don’t mind it’s a couple days late.”

I pulled her into another hug, “Not at all. Thank you so much baby. This is great, I love it.”

Bob had since called cut, while other crew-members were bringing out a table with a couple other sheet cakes on it along with some plates and forks.

After a round of Happy Birthday was sung, I blew out the candles on the cake they had brought out for everyone. I couldn’t wait though to cut into the cake that Y/N had made, I loved everything that she baked. Everyone on set, which was a lot of people, got a piece of either cake, and everyone who had a bite of Y/N’s cake was commenting on how amazing it was, saying that they’d have to call her for when they needed one. She thanked everyone who talked to her, but I could tell something was bothering her, but I didn’t bring it up; it could wait until later. I wanted the both of us to enjoy this time.

Bob was nice enough to give us all an hour or so to eat cake and talk. When it was time to go, I pulled Y/N aside in one of the coves of bookshelves to say bye to her.

“Thanks again for this. That was really sweet of you, in every sense of the word.” I couldn’t help to laugh at the pun I let slip.

“Anytime baby,” she said with a smile.

“I’m not sure what time I’ll be home tonight, but I’m out early tomorrow, so we can go out for that birthday dinner I’ve kept postponing,” I told her, giving her a kiss on her forehead. “Perfect, I’ll make a reservation when I get home later.”

I took her hands in mine, running my thumbs over her wrists unsure of how my next question would go over, but I had to ask to quiet the voice in my head. “I hope that cake wasn’t too much trouble for you, you know you didn’t have to do all that for me. You surprising me would have been more than enough.” I knew she got the meaning under what I was asking, I also noticed she hesitated before answering me.

She looked up and smiled, “No trouble at all.” I’ll have to bookmark that topic for a later date as well. Her demeanor seemed to change in the next second, as if trying to forget the last ten seconds of the conversation.

“See you later birthday boy, you’ve got one more surprise waiting at home,” she told me as she walked away with a wink.

Well how the hell am I supposed to finish shooting today with that going through my head?

---

Despite the fact that we finished late last night, I had to be on set by seven this morning. I always hated days like these, especially since Y/N wasn’t at the café as much anymore to make my morning coffee. Because of that, I made it a point to have a few minutes with her before leaving, even on the early mornings when she despised waking up before the crack of dawn with me. It gave us a chance to talk though and just be together, as if living and sleeping together wasn’t enough, it’s still something we both enjoyed.

I ran my finger up and down her nose, waking her gently. For some reason I loved waking her like this, I had no idea why, maybe it was because it was cute to watch her come to and flutter those beautiful eyes open at me. This morning though she whined at me, knowing it was too early for any sane human to be awake. “Why,” she asked, drawing out the word like a five year old. “Are you whining Y/L/N?”I asked her, using her own line on her. Even that glare is freaking adorable.

I knew she wasn’t seriously upset with me; she enjoyed this just as much as I did. After stretching and sitting up with me, we talked about what we had planned for our days. Mine was mostly what scenes we were going to be shooting, while she had mentioned that she needed to run a few errands and do a couple chores.

“Well I’ll be done around three, home by four, then it’s our night. Dinner…drinks…maybe another present to unwrap…” That got her giggling. “We’ll see Ackles, as long as you’re good,” she teased. “Oh you know I’m good.” Two can play that game.

---

Briana and Kim were back on set today, we only had a few scenes to shoot, a couple things down by the boat yard. We were in the middle of a scene, all of us coming back from the Bad Place, when Bob yelled cut.

“Uh, is everything ok? I thought that was a good take, do we need-“

“Jensen, come here please.” Well shit. I heard Briana answering her phone and a commotion going on behind me as I walked over to Bob.

“Jense, we just got a call because they couldn’t reach you, Y/N-“ Briana was over, cutting of Bob, barely getting out the words that she had to go, looking frantically at me.

“Guys, what the hell is going on?” I demanded.

“Jensen, Y/N is in the hospital, she was in a car accident…” Briana told me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, not needing to see who it was to know it was Jared, or to know exactly what he was trying to do; help me stay grounded and in the present and not lose myself.

“I need to go. Dammit...Bob, I’m sorry, I need to go. Can you finish without Bri and I? I’ll text and keep you guys updated,” already jogging away before waiting for an answer.

“Go, we’ll figure it out,” he told me.

Bless that man. Some days I wondered why he was so good to me.

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[winn-schott-imagines]

Christmas Party

A.N. I know it’s awful, my brain is fried. I did get other requests and they’ll be done at some point. Happy Holidays! 

Requested by justfloatingthroughtime 

Jingles bells rock had been played 4 times already at Kara’s Christmas party and Winn was starting to get a little fed up with the song choice as he stumbled over to you.

“I am slowly beginning to hate this song,” Winn whined.

“Yeah, well let papa bear have his fun. You could always play the remix version to switch things up,” You chuckled.

Winn rolled his eyes and smiled, “And turn this into a Christmas rave? Sounds exciting. I don’t think J’onn would approve of the drugs though.”

“Or the horrible dancing.”

“Excuse me, but I am an excellent dancer!” Winn exclaimed, wearing a look of hurt.

“Of course you are, and no I am not going to do a stupid dance battle to prove it.”

Winn smiled and hugged you, “You know me so well and they’re not stupid they’re legitimate ways to prove who’s better.”

“Definitely not you then.”

“Hey! It’s Christmas you have to be nice to me.”

You giggled and pulled away, “I’m always nice-”

Before you could finish Winn dangled mistletoe above both of you.

“I wonder how that got there,” Winn exclaimed in astonishment.

“You put it there.”

“It’s a miracle-”

“It’s in your hand”

Winn just gave you a look, “I’m trying to be romantic here Y/n.”

You laughed and kissed him. This was going to be a good Christmas.

[butelizabethbennet]

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[stacieisaloser]

Game Night

Request for @justfloatingthroughtime "Hi! I'm not great at sending requests/prompts, but could you do a Winn x reader that's cute and fluffy? Maybe something like a game night with the Super friends? Reader and Winn sitting next to each other and being cute amidst everyone drinking and chatting maybe. Thank you!" This is my first ever request and I'm kind of nervous. I hope it's okay, and I'm sorry if it's not quite what you had in mind. I'd love some feedback, because like I said this is my first time posting any of my writing. I hope you enjoy! Pairing: Winn Schott x Reader Warnings: none Word Count: 826 (sorry it's so short!) It was a normal Friday game night at Kara's apartment, and everyone was piled into her living room with beers in hands. A rather heated game of monopoly had just ended and you were sat at the end of Kara's sofa, Winn squished up against your side. Not that you minded, you had been harbouring a crush for quite some time now but you were far too shy to say anything. You could feel Winn's thigh pressed against yours, and it was very distracting. Suddenly Winn turned to you, an expectant look on his face. It was then that you realised he had asked you something. "Sorry, what?" You asked rather stupidly. Everyone else seemed to be in a conversation of their own, not that you had noticed. "I said you've been quiet tonight, are you feeling okay?" Winn repeated, a look of mild concern on his face. "Oh right, yeah I'm okay. Just tired I guess," you replied. Winn leaned back into the cushions, putting his arm on the back of the sofa behind you. "I'm going to have to have words with James, because you my dear are working far too hard," he said, and you felt heat spreading through your cheeks. It was true, as James' assistant at CatCo, you had been working pretty hard. "It's not so bad, he's a pretty cool boss," you told him. "Yeah, well he is monopolising all of your time and I hardly get to see you anymore," Winn said, a serious look on his usually goofy face. "You miss me, hot Schott?" you asked, a small smirk on your face. "Really, that nickname is sticking?" He asked incredulously. You simply laughed in response, nodding your head. You had started calling him that as a joke, but you enjoyed the reaction you got when you said it, so you had kept it up. You took a moment to have a mouthful from the bottle of beer you were holding, and Winn thought it was a good time to mutter "god your smile is beautiful," causing you to choke on said beer. You sat up straight, coughing in an attempt to regain your breath. Winn's eyes widened in shock, his hands going to your back to try and help. "Oh my god, y/n I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, patting your back gently. Everyone's eyes turned to you in concern and you stopped spluttering, your breathing going back to normal. "Are you okay?" Kara asked from her spot on the floor. You nodded furiously, not trusting your voice. Everyone in the room eyed you curiously before returning to their own conversations. You turned to Winn to see he had a deep blush covering his cheeks. "God, that was so not as smooth as I was hoping it would be," he said to you. You laughed again, shaking your head at him. "Yeah, not exactly," you responded, a shy smile on your face. "It's true though," he said seriously, his eyes staring intently into your own. He reached over and tucked a stray piece of (y/h/c) hair behind your ear, his hand lingering slightly at your cheek. "I've been trying to work up the courage to ask you out for months now y/n," Winn declared, dropping his hand. "I just wasn't sure if you felt the same." You looked down at his hand that was resting on his lap. You took a deep breath, gathering courage, and entwined his fingers with your own. "I've been trying to work up the courage to ask you out," you admitted sheepishly, looking down to hide your blush. You felt his hand leave yours only for it to appear under your chin, lifting your face so Winn could look at you. "Don't ever hide that beautiful face from me," he said gently. Ever so lightly, he pressed his lips to yours and you felt an electric current run through your whole body. Winn pulled away and you smiled at him. Suddenly the room erupted into applause, and you looked around to see Kara, Mon-El, Alex, Maggie and James standing and clapping at you and Winn. "About time!" Alex exclaimed, and Maggie high-fived her. You also saw Mon-El begrudgingly hand Kara a $10 note. You blushed and hid your face in Winn's chest. His hand snaked around your back and held you to him. Clearly your friends had been pining for you and Winn to get together as much as you had.

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 34) - Single Handed

Summary: Healing processes can be rough, thankfully Jensen is there to help...along with the Scooby Gang.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1080

Warnings: mentions of nightmares (nothing graphic), implied smut (gotta look close), fluffy Jensen, mentions use of pain pill for hand, I think that’s it.

A/N:  Only a half a dozen or so chapters left!...I think...Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

The next two months were long. Thankfully your left arm was casted first, leaving your right arm free, which was your dominant hand so you didn’t feel completely useless. You were getting the cast off in April, and being given a brace that you could take off, as well as starting physical therapy. The downside was, you only had two weeks between getting the cast off and going back in for the surgery on your right arm.

Jensen always made sure that you had what you needed around the house, making you dinner with enough to heat up for lunch the next day, texting and calling every second he could from work. If you were being honest, he was almost overbearing, but you knew he meant well, so you let him do it. Besides, when I get the right one done, I really will be helpless.

Just as the nightmares from last year started to subside, ones from the accident started. None as bad as the ones after coming home last year, but bad enough to jolt you awake and leave you sweating and gasping for air and in tears. Jensen didn’t wake up for most of them, which you were thankful for, being able to curl into his side and fall back asleep. But you were glad when he did, that he was there to comfort you, especially nights like tonight.

“Shh…baby I’m right here. It was just a dream, you’re safe,” he whispered, sitting up and holding you in his arms, stroking your head. You had woken up crying, and it had taken longer than it usually did for your head to clear, but you chalked that up to still being on pain meds for your hand.

“I just want them to stop; all of them. I don’t want to see them anymore.” You quietly cried into his chest, clutching his t-shirt.

“I know Y/N/N. I wish I could take them away for you, I really do. I’m so sorry, baby.” He whispered to you, rubbing his hand on your back.

He rocked you for a few more minutes, hand still methodically running up and down your back, until he felt your breath evening out and your body relaxing.

“Let’s lay down sweetheart,” you heard him say, letting him pull you back into bed, your back to his chest, making sure you were both comfortable without your cast being in the way. The warmth of his body calmed your further, lulling you back to sleep.

---

April 24. Today was the day the cast was coming off. You were so ready to be done with it and to have a brace, something you could take off when it got too hot or when you just didn’t feel like having it on. You were going to cherish every second of the next two weeks before having your other hand in a cast.

Jensen looked over at you as he drove, seeing that you were deep in thought, looking at your arm.

“What’s going on baby?”

“I just want it to be over. I want my hands back. Some things just aren’t the same when I have this giant thing attached to me,” you said, lifting it in defeat. “And I just get to trade this one in for another one in two weeks. Hmph,” you pouted.

He chuckled at you, knowing exactly what you meant. “Well baby girl, we have two whole weeks for things to go back to being somewhat normal,” he said, bringing your casted arm to his lips and kissing the tips of your fingers.

“When you say things…” you trailed off, knowing your hint wasn’t that subtle, making him laugh again.

“I mean you being more self sufficient than you have been, you know, dressing, showering, not doing everything one handed,” he said with a wink.

“Uh-huh…”

“And other things. It does kill the mood when you take a casted arm to the rib,” he chuckled, making you blush in embarrassment.

“I said I was sorry,” you whispered, pouting again.

Laughing a full body laugh while still keeping control of the truck, “I know babe. I’m just giving you a hard time. But, all that being said, tonight we lay in bed and watch Netflix, and then we can finish this conversation tomorrow, hm? I have some time off, so there’s no need to rush things and hinder your healing process.”

You let out an annoyed sigh, “Why do you have to be so logical about this?”

“I mean…one of us should be, right?” smiling at you.

“Fine. But I get to pick what we watch,” you told him, crossing your arms as best you could in defiance.

“And what might that be?”

His only answer was the smirk that settled on the corner of your mouth.

---

By the time the two of you got home, had dinner and changed for bed, you were exhausted, even thought it wasn’t that late. That didn’t stop you from opening up Netflix and selecting from your Recently Watched list, eliciting a groan from Jensen.

“Nuh-uh Ackles, you agreed. My pick.”

You were nice enough and had settled on ScoobyNatural, it being a lighter episode and one you could get lost in. You were fairly giggly at the beginning, having taken a pain pill not long before bed; getting the cast off had left your hand sore and you didn’t want to deal with the pain while trying to sleep. You started making comments about the funny pictures, and Dean having a big mouth as he shoved a huge sandwich in. Jensen just lay there, quietly laughing at you, as you sat next to him with his arm wrapped around your shoulders.

Jensen had noticed after sometime, that your quirky side comments and loopy remarks had subsided. He looked down at you and realized that you had fallen asleep, right around the time that Sam and Dean were trying to keep the Scooby Gang from going into a frenzy over there being real monsters.

He slid you down the bed and readjusted you so that your hand was elevated on a pillow, stripping himself down to boxers and getting back in bed with you. As if on cue, you rolled into him on your right, snuggling into his side, laying your head and braced hand on his chest with a leg tossed over his. “’I love you, sweetheart,” he whispered as he ran his hand over your hair.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @lizwinchester16 @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93​  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish @siriuslyimmortal @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity​ @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth​ @jbbarnesgirl​

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 39) - The Party

Summary: Time for the party! Nothing could go wrong...at all...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1302

Warnings: none...let me know if something should be tagged.

A/N:  Guys, there’s only one more part after this! :( :( :( Ok, potentially an epilogue, let’s be serious. But then it’ll be done. Ack! Also, forgive the gif, wasn’t a lot in the search for a ‘party’ gif. Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

Briana POV

Jared had offered to host the party, since he was one of the few that had a house big enough for everyone.  I came over earlier in the day to help him tidy up, get the food and drink he had ready, and making room for the rest that was bound to show up with the other guests. Just as we finished, there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it Jar.”

Opening the door I saw Jason and Rob and the bare bones of their equipment, enough for a backyard party.

“Hey guys! Thanks for coming today!” I exclaimed, giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey Bri!”

“C’mon in, backyard is that way and let Jared know if you need anything. I’m going to go upstairs and change.”

After ushering them inside I headed upstairs, pulling my phone out along the way.

Hey hon, you ready for this afternoon?

Oh God, Bri, I’ve never been around so many famous people. How am I supposed to handle myself? I’m already stressing out and I’m not even there yet!

I’m going to be like that awkward kid at the school dance who doesn’t know what to do.

Sweetie, chill. We’re all just friends, who happen to act. You bake. We act. Not a big deal. They’re just jobs and we’re just people. You’ll be fine. Besides, you have me, Jensen, and of course Jared. Once you meet people you’ll be fine.

Also, I think some spouses are going to be here today too, so it’s not just ‘famous people’.

Correction, I don’t bake anymore, but not the point, I know. Ok. I’m also nervous because…

Remember, you don’t have to do it here, or today. Only if you feel comfortable.

I know. I just…I don’t know. We’ll see how it goes. I need to get ready. We’ll be there soon.

---

Reader POV

You stepped out of the bathroom after checking your hair and makeup for what had to be the fourth time in twenty minutes. You were wearing the white dress and a pair of sandals, hair curled with some pinned back so it stayed out of your face and subtle makeup. Grabbing your purse, you reluctantly put your braces in, knowing that on the chance you needed them you’d be glad you had them.

You walked out to the living room and saw Jensen leaning against the back of the couch, a hand in his pocket, seemingly staring off into space. You could definitely see how he was the popular jock type in high school; a pristine pair of white sneakers, designer jeans and a navy blue button up with the top two buttons undone, and hair perfectly and purposefully mussed. You weren’t upset by anything you were seeing. 

He looked up when he heard you coming out of the bedroom, a smile forming on his lips as he looked you over. It wasn’t in any way other than appreciative and loving. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and opened his arms to pull you into a hug.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear, even though it was just the two of you in the apartment.

Blushing, you pulled away, “You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome,” smiling shyly. “I’m not overdressed, am I? I mean you said casual. This isn’t too much? I can change if you want me to-“

In the course of your rambling, Jensen had moved a hand to sit gently on your cheek, pulling you in to kiss you softly, cutting off what you were saying. “You look perfect.”

---

The drive was quick, not giving you much time to be nervous about the party. By the time you pulled up, there were already a few cars on the block. Jensen came around to your side of the truck and helped you out like the Texan gentleman he was and held your hand up as you walked up the sidewalk to the house.

“Remember. You can stick with any of the people you know if you’re not comfortable, we could even leave if you want. At any time. But I know you’re going to love everyone here. They’re just as crazy as our cast is, just on their own shows.”

You nodded, squeezing his hand as the two of you walked into the house. Walking into the kitchen you saw Briana talking to another woman, about your height, petite and blonde. Briana saw you and motioned you over, leaving Jensen to go talk to Jared and Stephen. She gave you a big hug when you were close enough, “You ok?” she whispered in your ear, you nodding again in response.

“Y/N, this is Emily, she works on Arrow. Emily, Y/N,” she said between the two of you as you took Emily’s outstretched hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.” You smiled, trying to contain yourself at the fact that you were actually meeting the Felicity Smoak, “You too.”

“Well I’m going to go find Stephan and Cass, let you get settled in. I’m really glad you came today,” she said with a sweet smile before leaving you to talk with Briana.

“She seems so nice…and normal,” you said as you looked back to Briana. “You’re right, y’all are just people. I don’t know why I stressed.”

“Because it’s you,” she told you with a wink. “C’mon, let’s go introduce you to everyone,” she said as she led you through the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water on your way out.

Within the hour you had met various cast members from all of the DC shows that were on the CW. Finding your way back to Jensen, you saw that he was talking to Grant and Caity. When he saw you, he lifted his arm and put it around your shoulder.

“Hey sweetheart, have you met Grant and Caity?” he asked you, kissing you on your temple.

“In passing, when Briana was making some quick introductions. Hi, again,” you laughed to yourself, noticing a look pass between Grant and Jensen, but you let it go.

“Do you want something to drink? I can go grab you something while you talk,” Jensen offered, eyeing the water bottle in your hand.

“Thanks Jen, but I’m ok with this for now,” you said, missing the subtle look of concern on his face.

As if to change the subject, Caity went on, “So, Y/N, Jen here was telling us that you bake? That’s amazing! The best I can do is a cake from a box, and even then I question myself,” she told your small group, the four of you laughing.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a box mix,” you started, leaning in closer as if you were going to tell her a secret. “I use them too, when I’m baking at home, but don’t tell him that,” you told her, motioning towards Jensen, even though he could hear everything you were saying.

“You mean…those cupcakes last week…?” he asked, with the saddest puppy dog eyes he’d ever given you.

“Aw honey. Yes. They were from a box, I’m sorry. I’ll make some from scratch some time,” you told him with a pat to his chest, though deep down you weren’t sure you would ever be able to. Playing along wasn’t hurting anyone though.

Over the course of the party there had been music from a playlist that was hooked up to the speakers so that that Jason and Rob could also enjoy themselves. Briana had found the group that you had made with Jensen and a few others, followed by Rob who was looking for her.

“Hey, we’re going to head over and start playing, how does…five or six songs sound?”

“Perfect,” she said, winking at you.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @lizwinchester16 @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93​  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish @siriuslyimmortal @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity​ @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth​ @jbbarnesgirl​

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 36) - Demon Eyes and Scars

Summary: Physical therapy can be a real pain...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1007

Warnings: talks about burns/scars (nothing graphic), mentions surgery (no details), fluff, minor angst on reader’s part, smut (squint, it’s in the subtext and however you infer it)

A/N: Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

“Hmph.” You huffed out, feeling defeated, again.

Jensen rubbed a hand over your back as you sat at the table with the therapist sitting opposite you. “Y/N/N. The better you are about doing these exercises, the smoother your recovery will be.” Jensen chided, for what had to be the fifth time that appointment.

You just rolled your eyes at him. You knew he was right. It was also only your third appointment. But you felt like you couldn’t do anything, and your hand was sore after the first five minutes, warranting your lack of will to keep going. Yet here you were, letting Scott torture you.

“Y/N…I can tell you’re not putting effort into it…”

“Quite honestly I’m just waiting for his eyes to turn black,” you told Jensen, an almost undetectable smirk on your face. Scott just looked between you and Jensen slightly confused.

“She’ll have a better attitude next time, Scott. We’ll work on it, won’t we Y/N?” He said between you and Scott.

Your response was to drop your head into your other arm on the table and mumble ‘Sure thing’. Jensen bent down to whisper in your ear, so low that even Scott couldn’t hear you with how close he was sitting. Your head shot up and you looked Jensen dead in the eye. “You wouldn’t” you told him, narrowing your gaze and calling his bluff.

“Try me,” he said flatly, before looking back at Scott, ending the conversation between the two of you.

“Y/N, I know these first few appointments have been hard, but you really do need to keep up on these exercises to keep everything moving and healing like they should be. This is all stuff that you can do by yourself, or even have Jensen help you with. But, they are all vital to the recovery process, no matter how much you hate them,” Scott explained.

You grumbled, but then caught Jensen in your peripheral and stopped immediately. “I mean, I will do my best with getting them done every day. Icing and heating as well,” adding a smile at the end that hopefully wasn’t as fake as if felt.

“Good. I’ll see you next week then, Y/N. Have a good weekend.”

“We’ll be here, and same to you man,” Jensen said, shaking his hand while you put your brace back on. You looked up at him with a confused look on your face.

On the way out to the truck you asked, “You’re going to keep coming back with me? You don’t have to, you know.”

“I know. But we’re in this together. I’m not going to leave you to do any part of this by yourself. You’re stuck with me, is that ok?” Jensen asked you, recalling your words from a couple months ago.

You looked up at him smiling, “More than.”

“Good. Let’s go home. Jared and Gen are coming over for dinner.”

“Ok. But…”

“But what?”

“But…were you serious about what you said in there? About…”

“Guess you’ll have to be good and find out,” he said with a pat on your ass and a wink as he walked around to the driver side door.

---

The weeks had passed and you were actually doing well with your exercises, even letting Jensen help you with them. He could be quite the motivator, you found out.

May 15; the day of your second surgery. You were doing well with your left hand, only needing the brace if you were doing anything that used your hand for a prolonged period of time. Otherwise you were mostly done with it, which you thoroughly enjoyed. You didn’t want to have a brace on one hand and a cast on the other for the next month and a half.

It was early, the sun had barely been up for a half hour and the two of you were in his truck on the way to the hospital. This time around, the surgery could be done in about an hour, with some recovery time, and you’d be back home that afternoon. You were so thankful that Jensen was able to rearrange his week to take the day off to go with you. I’m really going to have to make…get…Bob a gift basket or something.

You were looking down at your arms, a finger tracing lightly over the now few scars you had on your left wrist, along with the ones from the cuts and burns. You were just in a t-shirt, despite the cool spring morning, so you were able to see the vast majority of the scars you had. If your fingers weren’t tracing over them, your eyes were, which finally settled on the tattoo that peeked out from under the sleeve of your AKF campaign shirt you took form Jensen’s side of the closet.

Jensen reached up and rubbed his knuckle against your cheek. “What’s going on baby?” He asked, sensing your mood.

“They’re a mess. Today is one of those days that I’m having a really hard time forgetting everything, seeing every single scar, not being able to ignore them like I usually do now.”

There was a pause in the conversation, comfortably so, you weren’t upset that he didn’t have any sage words of wisdom, you just had to say how you were feeling, and you hated your scars today.

“And today I’m getting another one,” you whispered, a finger tracing over the old scar on your right wrist. “I know I did fine with the first surgery, but I’m still nervous.”

“It’s ok to be nervous Y/N/N. You’ll be just fine and I’ll be there the entire time,” he told you.

Jensen knew there wasn’t a lot he could say to sway your stance on how you felt, but you also knew that he didn’t see them as marring or ugly. They were on you, but they weren’t you. He just took your left hand gingerly in his, lifted it up and kissed the back of your hand while you rode in silence to the hospital.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @lizwinchester16 @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93​  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish @siriuslyimmortal @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity​ @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth​ @jbbarnesgirl​

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 37) - Unspoken

Summary: A few things are left unspoken...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1384

The following couple of months went about much like the last couple had, nights included. The cast came off and you had your torture…er, therapy appointments with Scott, Jensen helping you with them at home. You had been good about doing, despite the fact that they were a pain in the ass. But when you considered what Jensen was holding against you, thinking back to that day he told you his little proposition at your appointment, you did them.

You were in a brace for your right arm and trying to be independent with your day-to-day life, the only problem being that you weren’t left handed. I sure as hell better come out of this ambidextrous. It was however easier having your right arm in a brace, than it was in a cast. At least now you could take it off and have some function.

Jensen was getting ready for another convention tour, which you felt better about this time around since you could actually go with him. You were pretty much done at the café, not having been there in almost five months, since you made the cake for Jensen. They always said you were welcome back whenever you wanted, but you knew you couldn’t do what you loved to the full extent. The plus side to that was that you could tour with Jensen, so you weren’t horribly upset at the trade off.

Jensen found you one morning sitting at the kitchen bar, moving your hand around in a bowl of popcorn kernels to sensitize your fingers. This was one of your favorite activities, it was oddly calming and seemed weird, and slightly pointless, but it helped to get the feeling back.

“Hey, baby?” he asked, coming over to sit next to you at the bar kissing you on your head.

“Yeah?”

“So we start the tour in a few weeks. Before that happens, some of the shows here wanted to try to get some people together, just to hang out, have a barbecue, few drinks and maybe some music or something. I just got a text from Stephen saying that he already had a few other people say ok. What do you think?” He was helping you now with some of the exercises, as you sat there pondering your answer. “It’s not a formal thing. Jeans and a t-shirt if you want to. Like I said, it’s just some of the cast members having a get together. No press, no nothing. Just fun.”

“You’re asking if I want to join you in going to a party with a bunch of other people who happen to work on TV shows,” you asked, face deadpanned.

“…Uh…yes? You don’t have to. I wasn’t sure how you were feeling, and if you’d be up for going-“

“Jen,” you cut him off now smiling, a finger of the hand he wasn’t holding now on his lips. “I was kidding. I’d love to go.”

“Great! I think Rob and Jason may go as well, little musical entertainment. I’ll let you know the details when they get figured out.”

--- Jensen’s POV

I had so many ideas floating around in my head; I just didn’t know where to start, or what to do. I already talked to Stephan about Rob going. We would need some sort of music, and it would also help with one of my ideas. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my recent texts, looking for a particular thread.

Hey Bri! Got a second?

Sure, what’s going on?

So…this party we’re having this weekend, you going?

…yeah?

Well…I’ve been thinking…that…

Jen…tell me. I mean I probably already know. You do know who you’re talking to, right? …

What? I’m observant. And her best friend. And more than ok with whatever you have in mind. You know I love you, and I’ve loved seeing you two together. You’ve been good for her, and she’s been the same for you.

Thanks Bri. :)

That means a lot.

<3

---

Hey G, I was wondering if you would be up for a drink sometime this week.

Hey J, sure! We’re done filming on Wednesday, then I was just going to help Stephen get ready for this weekend.

Awesome. Thursday ok? I have something I want to run by you for this weekend.

Cool, just let me know where you want to meet.

--- Reader POV

Briana was over while Jensen was at work for the day, the two of you having some much needed catch up time. You had spent the morning at the little brunch spot near by, did a little shopping and were currently sitting on the sofa watching through your favorite 80s movies.

“I’m going to go grab some water, want anything?” You asked Bri, uncovering yourself from the blanket you were sharing on the couch.

“Nah, I’m good.”

You went to the fridge to grab the pitcher of water, pulling a glass from the cabinet. Filling the glass you returned the pitcher to the fridge, taking a drink as your eyes caught the calendar on the fridge door.

July 17…wow, the second surgery was already two months ago…wait…two months?…I haven’t…It can’t have already been two months…stress?...No…shit, I haven’t been taking it since before…and we….

You let out an audible gasp as the glass slipped and crashed to the floor, sending now invisible shards of glass and chilled water everywhere. The temperature and sound not affecting you, your eyes still glued to the calendar. You didn’t even hear Briana running into the kitchen.

“Y/N! What’s…what’s wrong?”

You couldn’t see her standing there looking at you confused as you were damn near catatonic, just like Cameron had been after he saw Sloan topless not 20 minutes ago in Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.

“Y/N, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong. Is it your hand? What happened-“ “Bri…”

“Babe you gotta tell me what’s going on,” she told you, starting to get frantic since you weren’t answering her.

“I…I’m pretty sure…” you stuttered, eyes still locked on the calendar.

You turned to face her the second you heard your full name come from Briana, looking at her wide-eyed.

“I think I’m pregnant,” you said, your hand and gaze falling to your still flat stomach.

You didn’t know what emotion to feel. Of course you were excited, you would love to have a family with Jensen. But you were scared, the two of you hadn’t talked about it, hell, you hadn’t even talked about getting married yet. You always loved seeing him with Jared or Misha’s kids, he was amazing with them, so of course you thought about him with children of your own. But now that it could actually be happening? You weren’t sure what to think. It wasn’t until you were focused back into reality that you saw that smile wide on Briana’s face, her eyes glistening.

“Are we happy?” she asked you slowly, obviously sensing your hesitation, knowing there were indeed a thousand and one thoughts going through your head.

You thought for another second, a smile finding its way to your face. “We are. So happy.”

“Good! However, you need to hold that thought and watch your step. Let me clean this up for you.”

“Yeah. I should probably start using a plastic cups, huh? So I don’t break my way through all of our glassware,” you said with an almost forced laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

You didn’t bother to argue with her as you managed to hop up on the counter without stepping anywhere else. You were lost in your head now, sure that you were pregnant. Everything was adding up. You had been feeling more tired lately and you had missed your period. You had just attributed it to the stress and meds for screwing everything up. But then you remembered that you hadn’t been taking your birth control for the last few months because of everything else you were taking, and neither of you had been careful. You hadn’t even thought about it.

“Bri, do you think maybe we could go to the store today and pick up a test? Then call the doctor and make an appointment? I don’t want to tell Jen until I know for sure.”

“Absolutely sweetie, we’ll go when this is cleaned.”

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @lizwinchester16 @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93​  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish @siriuslyimmortal @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity​ @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth​ @jbbarnesgirl​

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 35) - Continuing the Conversation

Summary: They finish the conversation that they started the day before

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1643

Warnings: Smut (fingering, unprotected sex {wrap it up kids}). Very little to no plot that’s integral to the story. If you want to skip this chapter, you won’t miss anything going into the next one.

A/N: Once again I know that this is a Castiel gif. I don’t care. I like it. Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

You woke up the next morning feeling quite warm, despite the fact that you were just under the top sheet and you were in shorts and a tank top. When you started to stir to find a way to cool yourself down, it was then you realized your heat source behind you. There was a strong arm draped over your waist holding you tight, your back to a warm chest, suddenly feeling the even breaths on the back of your neck.

It took you a moment to figure out in your just-woken-up fog that it was Jensen holding you to him that was causing you to over heat, noting that he somehow managed to end up on the other side of the bed than he started on the night before. At the realization of your surroundings, you inadvertently moved your hips, feeling his hard cock pressed against your ass, letting a quiet whimper escape your lips, his arm pulling you tighter to him; Jensen shifting as he started waking up.

“Well, good morning to you too, baby,” he whispered low in your ear, his voice gravely form just having woken up, as he placed a couple slow wet kisses on your neck and shoulder. You felt his arm unwrap itself from you, his large hand moving down to rest on your thigh, playing with the hem of your shorts. You lay there, letting his hand go where it wanted.

“Mm-hmm…” was all you could respond with, not trusting your voice at the current moment.

He moved his hand up slowly, so agonizingly slow, over the thin material, fingers finding your cloth covered warmth. You bit your bottom lip to stifle the moan that wanted to escape, but it wasn’t all that effective. Kisses were still being trailed over your neck, covering your pulse point and going over your shoulder; you tilted your head slightly to give him more room.

While his one hand was busy rubbing over your shorts, the other was between your side and the mattress, his hand moving up to play with your nipples through your tank top, reminding you that you didn’t bother with wearing a bra to bed last night.

With one hand playing with your nipples, one hand rubbing between your legs and Jensen’s mouth still leaving kisses and small bites along your neck and ear lobe; you were a writhing mess in his arms. Gone was the effort in trying to hide the moans and noises that wanted to escape from you, the same ones coming from Jensen along your neck. Moving his fingers from pinching your now hard nipple to cupping your breast in his hand as he moved his other hand.

You felt the warm fingers slide up to the waist band, tracing the edge of the fabric across your belly, making you jump, your breath faltering, as he ran over one of your ticklish spots. “Damn it, Jensen!” you said, in a low breathy tone.

“Hm?”

“Ugh. You know what. Just…Mmm- Please…”

Without having to finish your plea, his fingers were under your shorts and panties, running over you already slick folds.

“Oh fuck, Y/N,” he breathed into your neck. “God, I can’t believe how wet you are already for me.”

You were officially rendered speechless. All you could manage was rubbing your ass against his hard cock as you waited for his fingers to-

“Fuck!” you gasped, not fully expecting there to be two fingers inside of you so quickly.

“That’s how wet you are, sweetheart, I could just slide them in, no problem,” he said low in your ear, letting the warmth of his breath fan over your skin. That made you moan. Loudly.

You lifted your leg and tangled it with his which gave him more room, as he started pumping his fingers inside of you slowly at first; the two soon becoming three. He bit at your neck in response to the moan that escaped you; “Fuck, Y/N,” he practically growled into your neck.

“Jen…oh…shit…” you barely managed to get out between heavy breaths as you started moving your hips to meet the thrust of his fingers. His other hand went back to teasing your nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

“Come on sweetheart, you’re so close, I can feel it,” he whispered, the words sending your right hand down, slipping a finger under your shorts. It only took a few flicks of your finger over your clit for Jensen to feel you tighten around his fingers, making him speed up in response.

“Jen, right there-“ you breathed, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Come for me baby,” he whispered. Those were the only four words you needed to let your orgasm take over your body, sending waves of pleasure and warmth washing over you. Jensen kept thrusting his fingers in you, only slowing his pace as you became more sensitive helping you ride out your orgasm.

He slipped his hand gently from you, making you whimper at the loss of him, but hummed contentedly as he wrapped his arm back around your waist.

“Good morning to you too, Ackles,” you said back to him, once your breathing had evened out after a minute. Jensen’s lips were on your shoulder as he hummed in response.

The two of you lay there for a moment, before you wiggled your hips again, making your ass rub against his cock. Jensen responded with a moan into your shoulder and a low, “Come here.” You were under him in the next second. “You just enjoy yourself, we don’t need you hurting your hand again,” he told you as he peppered kisses down your collarbone, through the valley of your breasts and to the bottom hem of your tank top.

He nudged the hem again with his nose, looking up at you through those dark lashes and lust blown pupils. You sat up to take your tank top off, leaning in for a kiss when it was gone. Jensen got off the bed long enough, and quick enough, to strip out of his boxers, finding his way between your legs again. Meeting you in the middle for another kiss, he pressed his lips against yours, silently telling you to lie back down.

Once again, he trailed kisses down your neck, not missing your pulse point, sucking on it and leaving a slight purple mark. He moved down, giving attention to each nipple, leaving a wet kiss over each one, before taking it between his teeth and gently biting, blowing over it as his mouth moved away, making you shiver at the temperature change.

He kissed his way down to the edge of your shorts, nipping at the band of material, moving farther still, kissing over your cloth-covered mound. He sat up, slipping his fingers slowly under the band at your hips, pulling your shorts down at the same time as your panties. Once they were gone, he found his spot one more time between your legs. He came down over you, keeping his weight off of you by leaning on his forearms. He kissed you lightly at first, nipping at your bottom lip, sliding his tongue along it, asking for permission. When he pulled away, he looked right into your eyes, running a finger over your cheek.

“You ready baby?” he asked you, barely audible, always making sure you were ok. You nodded, before pulling his mouth to yours; the moans escaping it as he thrust inside of you slowly, bottoming out. He stilled, letting you have a moment to adjust to him while he kissed all along the front of your neck and collarbone, coming back up to your lips. Your arms were under his; hands on his back, being mindful of your braced arm, letting it lay on the bed, more often than not.

With the slight movement of your hips, Jensen got the message and started moving, pulling out almost all the way before slowly sliding back in. You were meeting his thrusts, breaths mixing and getting heavier. You were surprised with how close your second orgasm was, almost coming out of nowhere.

“Baby, I’m not going to last long,” Jensen barely got out between heavy breaths.

“It’s ok Jen, fuck…I’m close again.” At that, he started pumping faster, his movements becoming more erratic. You were right there on the edge of your orgasm, his pelvis hitting your clit just right that it only took that one touch to send you over. You pulled him with you, sending him into his own orgasm, feeling him spill inside of you.

“Oh! Jen…fu-“ was all you could say, his head in your shoulder, trying to speak the same sentiments.

Your arm was wrapped around his neck, as he looked up and kissed you, the passion and love evident in the touch. He wrapped his arms behind you, pulling your body close to him. He kept his weight off of you while the two of you slowed your breathing and calmed down, finally rolling off of you to the other side of the bed.

“That’s quite the way to wake up Y/N.”

“Sure was. I wouldn’t be opposed to more wake up calls like that,” you said laughing as you rolled over and laid your head and braced hand on his chest like you had last night.

He reached a hand over, rubbing a thumb over your fingers on his chest, stopping only when he seemed to realize something, looking over to the nightstand. “You need to get up and get ready, you have physical therapy in an hour.”

Groaning you responded with a cheeky, “What? So what we just did doesn’t count?” giving him a wide grin and a wink.

“No. Now get that cute butt of yours up and dressed,” he said with a kiss to your head before rolling out of bed himself.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @lizwinchester16 @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93​  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish @siriuslyimmortal @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity​ @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth​ @jbbarnesgirl​

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 30) - Self Doubt

Summary: Jensen being Dean being Jensen.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1191

Warnings: Minor swearing. Otherwise, nothing...I think. Let me know if you see something.

A/N:  Another short one. But two in a day because I’ve been bad with posting! Enjoy! Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context.

The next morning you woke up slowly, your body still trying to catch up from everything that happened yesterday. Eyes still closed, you felt the lack of body heat and reached out feeling that you were alone in bed. A small whimper left you, you didn’t really know why; you knew he was still home since he didn’t have to be to work until later that afternoon. You stayed laying there, debating if you really wanted to get up and be a productive member of society, or stay in bed all day.

Jensen walked into the room as you were having this inner debate with yourself, carrying two cups of coffee. Inhaling deeply, you caught the sweet aroma of the beautiful liquid, knowing that it was going to be the one thing to get you through today. As he walked towards the bed you sat up, “What do you want to do today?”

You got your question out at the same time you reached your arms over your head stretching out your tired and sore body, an audible pop sounding, stopping Jensen in his tracks.

“Um, was that you?” he asked, slightly confused.

You nodded, not really noticing it. “Yeah, usually happens every day, my shoulder just stiffens up during the night. Sometimes it’s slightly uncomfortable, but for the most part I don’t even notice that it happens anymore,” you shrugged as you explained. It never occurred to you that after being together for six months and living together for a month now that it never came up. But considering everything you told him yesterday, it made sense why he was picking up on it now.

He set the coffees down on the nightstand and sat next to you on the edge of the bed, looking at his hands in his lap. You could tell he wanted to say something, moving your hand to cover his; you gave it a small squeeze, getting his gaze to meet yours. “What is it Jen?”

He started to say something but then stopped, trying to collect his thoughts. “I just…I…” he tried, but to no avail. You saw a tear run down his cheek before pulling on his hand, “Come here.”

He climbed back in bed over your legs as you scooted back, leaning against the headboard, resting his head on your chest with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, letting him have the time to decide if he wanted to talk, neither of you bothered by the silence.

It took Jensen a few minutes before exhaling deeply, his thumb drawing lazy circles on your hip where your shirt had ridden up. “Y/N,” he started quietly.

Another minute or so passed. “Jen, you can talk to me baby. It’s ok,” you reminded him, still running your fingers gently through his hair, caressing over the short ones on his neck.

He nodded into your chest. God if I could just be inside that head of his.

Barely above a whisper, he finally found the words to answer you. “I could have lost you…before I even met you.”

You understood the words and their meaning, it was pretty plain as day, but you still asked, “What do you mean?”

“That’s what I was thinking about yesterday when you were telling me what happened to you, the pain and suffering you dealt with. It could have been so different; this could have been so different. There was a chance that this, you and me, wouldn’t have happened. I mean I know that I wouldn’t have even known it, but just thinking about it, I can’t imagine this being any different, you not being here…God, and now I’m sounding so fucking selfish,” he finished as he buried his face in your chest, tightening his arms around you.

“Jen, sweetie,” you cut him off, fingers stilling on his head, placing a kiss there, your other hand on his arm at your waist. You gave him a second to calm himself, “Breathe.”

After a moment you continued. “First of all, that’s not selfish. I’ve had the exact same thought since that weekend at the convention, I know what you mean. I can’t imagine a life that didn’t have you in it. Second, I’m right here baby, and I’m not going anywhere. What I went through, it was absolute hell, and everyday I have to see the reminders of that, just like he wanted me to. But I’m right here with you now, and nothing is going to change that.”

“I’m sorry,” his voice muffled from your t-shirt.

“For what?”

“That I didn’t see it yesterday, I was completely oblivious to what Briana was asking you, my hand was on you, and I know you, I should have felt the change in you. I’m so sorry that I didn’t pick up on that.”

“Jensen Ross Ackles.” That was all you needed to say for him to tense up slightly. Yep, I just pulled the middle name card.

“Don’t you dare pull a Dean Winchester and blame yourself for what happened yesterday. You had no way of knowing it was going to happen, even if you did get what Briana was asking me, there’s no way that you could have seen it coming or stopped it. Ok?”

He nodded. “Jense. Please promise me that you won’t blame yourself.”

You felt him inhale and exhale again, after which you nudged his chin to look up at you. “I promise.”

“Like I said, I’m here and I don’t plan on going anywhere. There’s nothing you could have done to change anything. I made it through the last year and it all brought you to me that night at the café. I think you’re stuck with me for awhile,” you told him, trying to pull him out of the daze he had fallen in, running a finger over his cheek. “Is that ok?”

He nodded, “More than ok,” he responded with a smile as he reached up and kissed you gently on the lips. Pulling away you had the same smile, “Also, I’m pretty sure that Briana had something to do with you being there that night,” laughing at the memory; getting a text from her at the last minute asking if she could bring a couple friends with her to your open mic night.

He laughed, “Yeah, sounds like something Briana would do. In fact, I remember the night she asked Jared and I if we wanted to go. We were getting ready to leave the set, literally walking to the car when she asked us. Of course that classic Briana smile was there, she definitely had motive that night.” Both of you laughed at the memory now, and everything that had come of it.

You went back to running your fingers through his hair, “Can we really be all that upset with her and how everything turned out?”

Looking at you with those jade green eyes, a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth, he tightened his arms around your waist, “Not one bit. I wouldn’t change this for the world.”

“Me either.”

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @steffiemeheus @lizwinchester16 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @cats-are-untrustworthy @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @1233088 @fandomloveyeah @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @justforsavingfics @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93  @im-super-un-natural  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33  @greyeyedsmile14  @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish  @winchester-top-the1975  @siriuslyimmortal  @zahiaouzidane @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 32) - Wait

Summary: Reader ends up in the hospital, Jensen has a hard time with it.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1552

Warnings: minor swearing, being in a hospital, talk of surgery (nothing graphic), sad Jensen

A/N: I’m not a doctor, nor do I know how things work. I doubt you can cast a broken arm AND operate on the same arm for carpal tunnel. But who knows. Maybe you can. In this story, it works.  Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

Jensen’s POV

Cliff had been the one to drive a handful of us to the set location, so he was there and able to take Bri and I to the hospital, not even going back to our trailers to change. I had to get there and see Y/N, I didn’t care that it was as Dean, I needed to know that she was ok.

Briana put her hand on my knee squeezing it. “She’s going to pull through, she’s a tough girl.”

“God Bri, she’s been through so much, and now this. Why?” It was barely a horse whisper, trying to keep the tears from falling.

The rest of the ride was silent.

When we got to the hospital, Cliff barely had the SUV pulled to the curb before I jumped out, Briana following me. Thank god she was there, because I had no idea what I was doing or what to say. We got to the registrars desk inside and it was all muffled, I knew Briana was talking and then taking my hand in hers and leading me to where Y/N was. When we got to her floor, I came to enough to ask where we were going.

“I just talked to the nurse’s station, she’s in surgery, has been for about an hour but she should be almost done, maybe another forty five minutes to an hour. They’ll come talk to us when she’s out. So for now we need to sit here and wait, I’m sorry hon. I’m going to  go call her parents, are you going to be ok for a minute?” I could only nod my answer.

Truthfully, I was on autopilot; I heard her words but I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to sit here and wait for them to tell me if she was going to be ok or not. I pulled out my phone to text Jared, knowing he was probably still on set so he wouldn’t answer right away.

We’re here. She’s in surgery. I don’t know anything else yet. Jar…fuck, I can’t lose her, man. I don’t know what to do right now. She promised that she wasn’t going anywhere. Briana is on the phone with her parents letting them know.

A few minutes had passed, in which time I had zoned out until I felt my phone vibrate.

Y/N is going to be fine, she’s right; she’s not going anywhere. You know how strong she is; you know she’s going to give this fight everything she has.

After we’re finished up here I’ll have Cliff come get me and I’ll bring you a change of clothes and some food. I’ll be there in a few hours. You gotta hang in there man.

Thanks.

---

It felt like a damn eternity before the doctor came over to us, and I spent the better part of it pacing a hole in the floor. “You two are here for Y/N?” We both nodded and stood upon his arrival.

“I’m Dr. Timmel, I was the operating surgeon on Y/N, and she’s stable and will make a full recovery.  She came in with a concussion, which is common for a car accident, some bumps and bruises and a broken arm. She was quite frantic going into surgery, talking about not wanting to because of the hallucinations. I had time to look over the notes from her last surgery, and saw she had a reaction to the anesthesia, so we were able to give her something else and she responded well to it. I did give her a sedative after surgery, so she’s going to be out for another few hours, but you’re both more than welcome to go see her when she’s moved to her room, maybe another thirty minutes. Do either of you have any questions?”

It was like I was playing catch-up in my head, going over everything that he just told us. “Umm…Surgery? For a broken arm? How bad was it?” I asked him, fearing the worse and starting to panic.

“The broken arm was simple, just had to reset it and cast it. The surgery was actually because of her hands, well one of them. She was responsive when she came into the ER, telling us that she couldn’t feel her hands. It was when I looked over her notes that I saw the surgeries that she had had done for them, figuring that this was probably the cause of the accident. Of course that’s just speculation, the responding officers will be able to tell you more. I was able to get enough information from her and her chart to figure out the best course of action, and of course her permission to do the first surgery.”

“It was necessary to do it now, since she didn’t have feeling in them. I was able to operate on the same arm that broke, her left one. It was tricky, but I wanted her to have a least one useable hand during both healing processes. Her right hand has lost a lot of function, but she can still use it. It’ll mostly be fine motor skills that she’ll have issues with, so she might need help with some things. Please, sit, have a coffee, and I’ll have a nurse come get you when Y/N has been moved.”

Sitting back down, I thought about what I had decided yesterday on set, that we would talk about her hands. She was supposed to be meeting the doctor before the end of the month; it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

All I could do was sit there with my head in my hands, elbows on my knees. Briana rubbed a hand across my back, not having to say anything.

Time passed oh so slowly; one minute felt like ten, when finally a nurse came out. “I can take you both to see Y/N now.”

When we got to the door the nurse paused, “I want to warn you, she looks a little beat up, cuts and bruises mostly, casted arm and wrist. She is fine though. She is breathing on her own, but has been given oxygen at least through the night to help her out a little bit. She’s also been given a sedative, so she’ll be out still for a couple hours. You’re more than welcome to stay as long as you’d like. I’ll be back by in a couple hours to make sure she’s ok, if you need anything, just press the call button by her bed, my name is Rachel.” She smiled a meek smile, opening the door and letting us go in first.

She followed after, checking to make sure all the monitors were reading appropriately and writing down a couple notes in her chart, then left. I didn’t make it half way to the bed before I stopped and stared at her. The monitors beeping, tracking everything that was going on with her, the tube running just below her nose; I couldn’t stand to see her like this, I knew the tears were there, but I couldn’t stop them. Briana was bent over the bed, brushing the hair away from her face. I could barely make out what she was saying.

“Hey sweetie. What did we talk about, you not ending up in the hospital again? Didn’t we say once was enough?” Her tone was light, and I could only imagine she was talking about when she was kidnapped and put in the hospital. “I’m not going to stay long baby, but Jensen is here, he’s going to stay with you. I’ll be back tomorrow. You need to heal yourself up and get back to this boy, he’s a mess right now.” I chuckled at that last part, at least in my head, not sure if the emotion made it to my face.

Briana kissed Y/N on the forehead before coming back to me, putting a hand on my face to draw my gaze to her. “You with me Jen?” I nodded. “Stay here with her, she needs you. I’ll come back tomorrow morning. Text me if you need me, even if it’s the middle of the night.” I nodded again.

She kissed my cheek and left, leaving me alone standing in the room, curtains drawn over the windows to keep most of the late afternoon sun out, with just the noise of the oxygen and monitors. I finally walked over to her, kissing her ever so carefully on her forehead, cupping her cheek in my palm, running my thumb over it.

“Hey sweetheart.” The tears were coming, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. “Don’t forget. You promised you weren’t leaving, that I was stuck with you. I’ll be waiting. I’m not going anywhere baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

I pulled the chair from the corner of the room over next to her bed sitting on her right side, slipping my hand into hers. I took out my phone again, seeing that I had a few texts and phone calls, but I ignored all of them, opening the text thread with Jared.

She’s in her room 308. I’ll tell you the rest when you get here. She’s ok. Banged up pretty good.

I’ll be there within the hour.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @steffiemeheus @lizwinchester16 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @cats-are-untrustworthy @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @1233088 @fandomloveyeah @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @justforsavingfics @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93  @im-super-un-natural  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33  @greyeyedsmile14  @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish  @winchester-top-the1975  @siriuslyimmortal  @zahiaouzidane @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth @jbbarnesgirl

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 17) - Home

Summary: Jensen finally returns home from Europe

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1531

Warnings: sad reader, angst on her part if you squint, I don’t think anything else

A/N: I have been wanting to use this gif since I started, but it’s so big! haha. Yes, that’s the only reason why I haven’t yet, because it’s bigger than the others and I’m OCD about stuff like that. But I thought this was a good chapter for it. Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

You had kept busy at the café, giving your assistant some vacation days, just for the shear purpose that you didn’t want to be home alone, and staying at the café working gave you something to do. It was exhausting, working all of those hours, early mornings mixed with bad sleep, but you didn’t know what else you to do. Your arms were getting worse you noticed, probably due to the stress that you were inadvertently causing yourself by working so much. However, things were still manageable so you pushed the thought of it down, knowing that forgetting about it was just a temporary, and somewhat dangerous, solution.

Friday night finally came and you were lying on the couch watching Supernatural, since you couldn’t have the real Jensen with you. It obviously wasn’t as good as the real deal, you know, being a fictional character stuck in a TV. But being able to at least see and hear the voice of Dean Winchester was better than nothing, if not somewhat calming. You heard your phone buzz on the table in front of you, not realizing the hour.

Hey baby, I know you’re sleeping, but I just wanted to let you know that we’re getting on the plane in London. I’ll be home soon. Love you.

Ok. Have a safe flight. Can’t wait to see you. I really miss you Jen.

Sweetheart, you should be sleeping, what’s up?

Eh. Sleep has been rough lately. Just come home soon. :(

I’m on my way. Try to get some rest for me and I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.

You were a little more relaxed having been able to talk to him, even if it was only for a minute.  Focusing back on whatever trouble Sam and Dean were managing to get into this time, you realized that your body was finally succumbing to the tiredness you’d been feeling all day, all week rather. Remembering what happened the last time you slept on the couch, you moved to your bedroom, put on one of Jensen’s shirts that he had left for you, and crawled in bed drifting off to sleep.

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Since you weren’t going in to work the next day you didn’t see a need to set an alarm, hoping your body would let you sleep in a little. Well, 6:45 is better than my normal 4:15 I suppose. Dragging yourself out of bed you made a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal for breakfast. In your sleepless nights you had done your week’s chores of cleaning and laundry, so you didn’t really have anything to do today. You decided you were going to try to have a relaxing day and hopefully catch up on some sleep. You watched a few episodes of The Great British Baking Show and then went to take a shower, changing into a new pair of leggings and one of Jensen’s flannels.

You didn’t take to these kinds of days as easily as you had liked. You constantly had the feeling that there was always something to be doing, cleaning, or even that you should be at work. It was usually hard for you to just sit and do nothing. It was only two in the afternoon; Jensen wouldn’t be back in town until at least six. You hadn’t made plans or anything, didn’t even know if he’d stop by when he got back. Grabbing your coat and throwing on a pair of shoes you decided to go for a walk, hoping the cool air would help relax you.

It was nice out, chilly but not uncomfortably so; it felt good getting the cool air in your lungs. There was no place specific in mind that you wanted to go, but you soon found yourself at the park that you and Jensen at been to some time ago. Sitting, you realized that you hadn’t really opened up to him since that day. He hadn’t pressed you, which you appreciated, but you were also wondering if maybe you were slowly pushing him away. Ugh, get out of your head Y/N. You love each other. He understands. But he doesn’t know everything. He needs to know everything, before it gets worse than it already is.

A chill ran down your spine, pulling you out of your thoughts. You headed back to your apartment, ready to curl up on the couch with a blanket. Flipping on Netflix and going back to the episode of Great British Baking Show that you had left off on, you heard your phone buzz again.

Hey. How are you doing?

Meh. How’s the flight?

It’s good. Watched a movie, took a nap. But you didn’t answer my question sweetheart.

You could tell there was concern there; even if it was just a text message.

I’m fine. I think I’m just stuck in my head right now…

Do you want to talk? I still have some time.

Not really. Is that ok?

It’s absolutely fine Y/N. I know when you’re ready you will. And I will be here to listen.

Shortly after, you fell asleep watching as the bakers rushed around trying to finish their bakes, chuckling to yourself whenever Paul would make the contestants nervous.

It was a dreamless sleep, for the most part. You realized at some point that you were dreaming of memories, and not having actual dreams. Everything was as if you were looking in on your life, watching everything happen from the sidelines. You saw the time when your aunt and uncle took you and Jonathan camping when you were 8. He was in boy scouts and he showed you how to build a campfire and roast the perfect s’more.

Then you saw that you were in high school, freshman year, kissing your crush that you had had since grade six, only to see Jonathan walk around the corner. Nothing happened with your crush after that, he was terrified of Jonathan. Looking at it now, you laughed at yourself, seeing how Jonathan pulled the big brother card and scared the boy off, but remembering how you felt in the moment, you were so mad at him. You didn’t talk to him for a week.

Next, you saw yourself walking across the stage to accept your college diploma, your parents and Jonathan in the crowd cheering loudly. In the next moment it was after the ceremony, all of you outside taking pictures, hugging and laughing. Your mom loved candid photos, snapping away while you and Jonathan talked, laughing about some inside joke, that for the life of you, you couldn’t remember. Suddenly you were sad, sad you couldn’t remember what you were talking about.

Sad when you saw him leave on all of his global aide trips, as all of the times you dropped him off at the airport flashed by. Just as quick to appear were the memories of picking him up, throwing your arms around his neck and asking about the children. Now you were standing at the airport dropping Jonathan off for yet another aide trip, to Ecuador this time, for whatever reason you were crying when telling him goodbye, but you weren’t sure why, since this trip was like any other. He laughed, telling you he’d call and email. You hugged him and watched him walk through the door…

You felt a nudge on your shoulder, but it had turned dark where you were, the airport fading away into nothing, you couldn’t see anything. You heard your name but you didn’t know where it was coming from. You could feel and hear the nudge and your name again, this time more firm, like it was getting closer.

“Y/N. Sweetheart,” Jensen said, kneeling in front of you, wiping a tear from your cheek. “Wake up sweetheart, you were dreaming,” he said quietly, running his hand gently over your head. Trying to decipher what was real, you realized, slowly, what was going on. “Jensen?” you managed, sleepily. “I’m here sweetheart.” Not two seconds later were you up with your arms around Jensen’s neck. You didn’t want to, but you were crying gently into his shoulder, trying to hold on to the memories you just left; not exactly the homecoming you were hoping to give him.

“Shh, it’s ok baby,” You heard him whisper, rubbing your back. He readjusted his position so that he could pick you up and sit down on the couch with you in his lap holding you close. Your tears had slowed after a minute or two, leaving you with small sniffles as you kept your head buried in Jensen’s neck.

“Do you want to talk about it? What you saw?” He asked quietly, patiently. “Dreaming about Jonathan, was having a hard time letting go of this one,” you whispered; the two of you sitting in silence for a few more minutes. You sat up, wiping your face, “Ugh, Jen, this is not how I wanted to welcome you home. I’m so sorry.” Now you were just embarrassed. Your boyfriend comes home from being on the other side of the world for three weeks, and you’re in tears when you realize he’s there. Cute, real cute Y/N.

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