#just to be clear i'm clowning around this isn't a obsession

[tiredandoptimistic]

I cannot stop thinking about the poem that comes up if you enter "Stanley" repeatedly and then click on "how he defeated me" a bunch (written out fully with analysis under the cut). I've never been a big Bill fan, but you can bet your ass I'm obsessed with Stan Pines, and I can't believe I never fully thought through the parallels between them.

"Stanley Pines, the common clown,

Always dragged his family down.

One mistake, disowned, denied.

Only thing to do was hide.

One way out: the open road.

Reinvent, retry, reload.

A girdle, eyepatch, father's fez,

'I'm a new man!' so he says.

Couldn't outrun life's regrets,

Just kept placing bigger bets.

Changed his haircut, switched hotels-

Truth is just whatever sells.

When you've lost track of your lies,

When the poison starts to rise,

When the walls are closing in,

When it's clear you cannot win,

When your actions make it worse,

When they see you as a curse,

Give the wheel one last spin,

Take your chips and go all in,

And Lucky Stan- the roll's on black,

He got his life and family back.

His big break, it finally came,

Redemption from a life of shame.

You really think you won the day.

You packed your bags and sailed away.

You think you left the past behind.

But trust me

I'm still on your mind"

Combine this with some of the other things Bill says in the pages leading up to the poem, (calling him "Bootleg Sixer," ranting about how Stan is useless and only defeated Bill by following Ford's plan, etc), and it makes me wonder if Bill ever really believed in his own schemes.

Bill clearly values and respects Ford while deriding Stan, and yet many of the things he criticizes about Stan are also true about himself ("always dragged his family down," "one mistake," "reinvent, retry, reload," "just kept placing bigger bets," hell, "truth is just whatever sells" feels like a direct parallel to "reality is an illusion). In my mind, this implies that on some level he believes that people like him and Stan are destined for misery, but he convinced himself that he'd be satisfied with power and chaos, something that Stan gave up for his family.

Stan is someone who functions like Bill on a surface level while being fundamentally different in ways Bill can't even comprehend. To Bill, it's unfair that Stan "got his life and family back" while he is still alone in the universe, because he can't get his head around the fact that Stan is just a better person who worked to make up for his failures and earn his redemption in a way Bill never did. It wasn't just "his big break," Stan didn't win a bet or something. He spent thirty years committing himself to being the protector of his family and rescuing his brother from the exile he caused, and all that love and effort paid off in the end. He genuinely gave a fuck while remaining goofy and brash. Stan didn't need to become like Ford in order to be worthy, and so he works as an example of how people like them can thrive. It's proof that Bill's chaos isn't inherently inferior, it's Bill himself who couldn't hack it. He can respect Ford as an ally or an adversary, that logic might be able to triumph over chaos; but Bill cannot stand that Stanley was able to beat him at his own game.

[centrally-unplanned]

To share another thought on the Folding Ideas video I Don't Know James Rolfe from my last post, while I enjoyed it a ton I do think its core "meta" element fails to reach the heights it could. It is never made that explicit so I am making a subjective read here, but essentially while most of the content of the video is textually about James Rolfe, there are dozens of moments where Dan performs actions that mimic or parallel James, culminating in his own parodic angry video game review as the finale. The idea is something of a "there but for the grace of god I go" point, that perhaps all youtubers, and Dan specifically, are too close for comfort to Rolfe's reality of limited creative options and a hostile fanbase clinging to the past .

But I can't really say for sure! Because he is very adverse to making this concrete enough for the audience.

At times the visual parallels are incredibly direct. There is one moment, where Dan is explaining the real skill and craft of being an internet clown on demand, where he mimics Rolfe's style of rant to explain it while projected AVGN videos that were looping in the background flash over his own body:

And it really works, the meaning shines through; it is a moment you can see back through time where the idea for this shot was, spiritually, the impetus for the film, that this idea must have come to him and he built the essay around making it happen.

Other visual parallels are less explicit; when the parody sequence starts, Dan - who has built a 1/12th scale recreation of the Rolfe's "video game basement" aka studio set in order to "understand" him like normal people do - represents himself in that room via a tiny hand puppet

Which is cute if, like probably most people, know him as the guy who makes videos about NFTs or Qanon. But close to a decade ago, when he was first making ~20 minute media analysis takes, he represented himself on screen with a wooden puppet like this:

It is even like the same color, I am confident this is intentional, it is saying "yeah this could have been an alt version of me; I was not so far from this".

All these symbols function to make the emotional impact; but an emotional impact in service of...what? So in the essay he discusses the film Wavelength, a 1967 avant garde film that is almost entirely composed of filming the side of a room with minimal camera movement while actions occur around it. It is a movie that never gives you a meaning, and therefore you must project meaning into it, bring yourself to the table. That makes sense for Wavelength, and the aggressive cinematography of I Don't Know James Rolfe - which is stellar to be clear - is making the film out to be sort of its own personal Wavelength for YouTube.

But then we go back to that text, which is over an hour of Dan directly talking to the camera about a real person. It is incredibly concrete and detailed, with explicit points being made over and over. And through what those explicit points reveal... I don't think Dan Olsen is like James Rolfe! Does he have an hostile fanbase trapped in nostalgia? Do people acuse him of being cucked by his bitch wife? He has evolved as a filmmaker, intensely so, he does things completely differently than Rolfe does and completely differently from how he himself used to. He doesn't have a shitty biography that self-outs his own creative narcissism, he isn't obsessed with remaking his own childhood films - I am pretty sure as a kid he had never heard of NFTs, they didn't really exist! The final line of the film is "maybe you aren't a filmmaker either" - but idk, Dan, I kinda think you are! If documentarians can be filmmakers you have to qualify.

Now I'm not a fool, I understand that the film could be suggesting these are differences of degrees and not kind; that Dan is equally "trapped in the room" making vlogs for the net, just with more outward trappings of success. But, in the ruthless specificity and detail of his treatment of Rolfe...this film cannot be Wavelength. I am not capable of forging my own meaning from the pieces, he connected way too many of them. This is the trap of avant-garde; you are tempted to help the audience, but once you try to answer some of the questions, it forces the hand of the rest, they all have to fit into that schema. And the film is just too coy with Dan's own parallel life for me to figure the schema out. I make my guesses and I lack confidence in them, they feel "contradicted" by the text.

More detail would have been the easier path; less detail and more symbolic expression would have been the harder path. But right now the balance is just a bit too out of whack for it to come fully together.

[fadelbison]

I want to preface this by saying that english is not my first language, and most of what I've learned has been on twitter, so if I sound condescending, I'm sorry lol. I swear that's not the tone of this message. Also, I'm sorry if I'm rambling.

That said, I like reading your takes because we have very different interpretations. It's so interesting to me lol. I'll give you one example, like when you said First is in his fan service era of trying to be masc and cool but he's always been like that?? He's very aware that he's not the "manliest," so when he says he wants to be cool and etc. he's joking. Idk if it's the language barrier but he's actually VERY funny, he's always joking around, and he knows he's cute and feels comfortable being cute, but at this point, it's like an inside joke that he "refuses" his cuteness (but like he doesn't and in fact he constantly plays it up lol). But he's also mentioned how he feels like he has grown up and how his personality has naturally become more serious and private, so maybe what you guys are interpreting as changing his persona for fanservice is just him getting older. Idk, I feel like things are simpler than you think.

That's just one example, but still I like reading your posts so please keep the conversation going hehe <3

I think rather than condescension when I get this type of ask I'm a little confused what people think I said hahahaha and how far our collective memories go back aka when I said First has changed which two points are you comparing versus which two points was I talking about ^^ Unless specified I'm always comparing Eclipse era First with post Only Friends. and this particular ask which I suspect was what spurred this was comparing pre-FK First with First now and the rest of the ask was focused on Khaotung. I think one of the first things I said about First is that he's effortlessly cool. Even though I did not mention it, it was for exactly the things that you said. I didn't watch a lot of Toew Laew but I am also super into BrightFirst. First is just a natural mood maker and class clown and even though he does have so much anxiety he's actually extremely good at it. Another point which maybe wasn't clear is that in their very recent interactions First is not making these comments (which is normal for him to make the comments so he's actually sticking to the script more) but it's actually Khaotung (it isn't normal for him because he generally likes sticking to the script) <- this is the change I was talking about. Unfortunately, I for one have never bought that he's actually an introvert. He's always called himself an extrovert and it wasn't until he started living in Khaotung's very gentle pocket as his branded partner that he's saying he's an introvert. He's 26 yo, constantly under scrutiny, constantly only specifically getting criticized for crying during their fanmeets. I see a type of pressure on First that just doesn't exist for Khaotung. I'm not sure First knows what he is lmao. But actually, since I'm not as obsessed about First as Khaotung I hesitate to say too much more about him? I don't...notice him with the same razor sharp focus that my attention stays on Khaotung dkfjsdfjhfhks And for the last part 'I feel like things are simpler than you think.' is just wrong hahaha. Fanservice both politically and economically has always been extremely complicated. In a place like Thailand where there is a formalized business around branded pairing (please remember I follow MANY branded pairs not just FK)... oh boy if you think it's simple I will bet you anything that A LOT of effort has gone into making you think so.

The core dilemma of any fanservice is that it's a performance whose main goal is to make it feel as natural and spontaneous as possible in the context of real life. Kudos to Firstkhao for their smashing success haha

[andguesswhat]

Tagged by @whole-other-layer

Last song: Stromae - L'enfer

Favorite color: Petrol or Yves Klein blue

Currently watching: This is going to hurt (so good, with Ben Wishaw and the portrayal of queer I'm looking for)

Sweet/spicy/savoury: yeah, just that: sweet/spicy/savoury, like the fireworks in Remy's head when he eats cheese WITH strawberry.

Relationship status: none of your fucking business

Current obsession: the guys in my head who do things and the question why you do things you know aren't good for you and you do them anyway.

Last thing you googled: soft launch boyfriend (lol).

Tagging... oh, I don't know, how about @stmonkeys @lo20 @laurenjane1990 and @timmysneck ?

Thanks for tagging me @whole-other-layer

But I have to ask! Your addition "even though they appear to be a hardcore charmie"? What does that mean? That you don't like hardcore charmies? In any case, I have to admit I’m not overly fond of being called hardcore (maybe cor cordium fits better 😉). Hardcore sounds to me like someone who needs to be right, and I don’t need that. I don't NEED them to be together, I don't care who they go to bed with, I don't need (more) proof. I don't HOPE they are together, I just hope that they HAVE each other when times are difficult for them. I don't KNOW if I'm right, but after everything I've read and seen about gays in Hollywood (Leo!) or in the music industry (Harry!) or in soccer (Ronaldo!), after all the tons of quotes we've gotten from people in Hollywood saying that "Hollywood treats gays poorly" (Udo Kier) to "You're a slave to Warner Bros, they can do whatever they want" (Burton), after all the PR machinery that all my mutual friends so skilfully expose on a daily basis, in the end, unfortunately, Timmy looks to me like a reflection of just that. Because they do exit in Hollywood, queer actors.  

And boy, these days I wish he was straight as fuck so I wouldn't have to worry about him, but with all the clowning going on around him, I just don't see it.

So him spending his life with Armie is just the most likely and plausible thing TO ME from everything I've seen. Everything else is always LESS plausible to me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And if it IS true, then they would have an incomparably beautiful love story that is incomparably tragic just because they're queer, and I want to support them with all my queer heart and desire for equal rights.

They don't have to be together for the rest of their lives and now, after all these years of heart eyes, they might just be another boring couple like any other. But if they had the chance to show themselves without regrets, if they didn't have to do this shit anymore, I can't wait for them to smile and feel free and have their second spring, and after everything they've been through, I think they fucking well deserve it.

That doesn't mean I agree with what Timmy is doing at the moment, and I thank you for your input because I have something to say to him about it as well to make my point. But to that later 😉

And if this isn't clear from what I wrote: I’m fully ok with people don’t believing in them.

Sorry for this answer you didn't ask for, but no one has ever told me I'm hardcore 🙃 PS: I love Tori Amos too ☺️

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

Does he claim Kylie in the GQ interview? Bc if not I'm not interested. Kylie has been putting a lot of work into this relationship only for peoplento clown her, Timothee should start to do something about it like when he defended lily rose.

"Claim her"? You do know she isn't a piece pf luggage, right? And I'm not clear on what you mean by her "putting a lot of work" into this rs, as if he isn't in it at all? But you clearly believe it's all only pushed by her side and that doesn't sound as if you are at all supportive of them as a couple but I'll entertain you and post what was written. Enjoy:

Over the past six years, as Chalamet became famous and then very famous, he sometimes found himself measuring the distance between the real Timothée Chalamet and these varied perceptions of him. The dinner table of Timothée Chalamets. But this was precisely the sort of needle spinning that seemed to have subsided. This summer, it looked like the signal for true north was evident and clear, and the other noise was receding. He couldn’t control how the distortions travelled. He could only control who he was – and he was happy to own it.

This related to the other time Chalamet popped up in early 2023. In the spring, he was spotted on his way to Tito’s Tacos in Culver City. Notable only because the person he was supposedly with was Kylie Jenner, and the photos of each of their SUVs in proximity to the other spun around the world instantly, sparking rumours of a possible pairing.

Chalamet is not naïve about how celebrity culture works. In fact, besides living it every day, he is perhaps the foremost member of the first generation of mega-celebrity who himself was as internet obsessed with his favourite artists as people are with him. Kid Cudi. Leo. Etcetera. He is a product of that fever, in no way above it, and so he understands the desire to get close, to get all the way in. “I can’t say that this stuff doesn’t matter,” he said, “because my intense fandom has led me to where I am.” But he also bristles at the suggestion that he might not be entitled to a wholly private life.

When I told him that this is all a fair and practically inalienable right, but that if he really wanted to be left alone, he might not spend time with one of the four most followed people on Instagram, he nodded and chuckled: “This reminds me of that recent South Park episode with the Worldwide Privacy Tour,” he said, referring to a send-up of Harry and Meghan flying around in a private jet and appearing on a talk show to demand: We want privacy! We want privacy! “Sometimes, people are going to be hella confused when you say you’re trying to live a private life.”

After months of dodging rumours, the pair confirmed them by attending a Beyoncé concert together in LA in September, then the US Open men’s singles final together in New York, and otherwise not shying away from being out and about and affectionate together in public. Due to the SAG-AFTRA strike, I couldn’t follow up to ask him what happened to his existential plea for this part of his life to be left offstage, but I imagine he might’ve just protested: “We want privacy! We want privacy!”

[kayforpay]

Spotify ask: Vriskat and 88?

"What ever happened to falling in love?" Karkat's voice seems even gruffer than usual, and he won't look at Vriska where she's sitting at his cluttered table. "You're the one who left, Vriska. All of us."

Vriska nods, rolling a piece of paper on the table into a tube with the tip of one finger. "I mean, it was a pretty fucked situation, wasn't it? I had just died. Again." She says, because she knows that's a sore spot for him. Karkat has always been more sensitive about death than anyone else she knew. "The bubbles were... So big."

Karkat turns back around, holding two mismatched mugs, steaming and clearly full to the brim with black coffee. He probably doesn't even have creamer, fucking freak. "Why are you here, though? I don't need anything from you." He doesn't spill a drop when he puts her mug down in front of her, but manages to slosh his own mug in time to escape into the kitchenette before she speaks.

"I know you don't. Terezi does, but I can't... I can't see her now. I can't see anyone right now." Wrapping her fingers around the mug almost scalds, but in a way she can't help but grip tighter. "Besides you. I just-- I need someone, Vantas. It isn't like we were enemies."

He returns then, wiping the table with a stained towel. "We were barely friends." It isn't a lie.

She leans her head down, bowing it over the steam from the mug until her glasses are useless, and pushes them up to sit against her horns instead. "Yeah. That's why you're the best option. That and you let the fucking clown-- You still talk to Gamzee. I need someone to talk to. I need you to." She sighs, her throat tight in a way that makes her want to storm out, makes her fingers tighten on the mug until it cracks.

"Finish what you were saying." Karkat says, pulling the mug out of her hands. The bags under his eyes seem heavier than when she first met him, the downward curl at the edges of his wide, flat mouth more defined than before. He looks older. "And stop talking about my palemate. You don't get to talk about him."

That almost makes her laugh, and she shakes her head. "I just need you to tell me I'm allowed to be here. You're the leader. And I left. I left, and I died, and then I left again while I was dead, and now Meenah doesn't even want to talk to me again." She grits her teeth, eyes focused on the blurry outline of Karkat's horns. "Let me back in."

Karkat laughs. It's not the first time she heard it, because he wasn't as much of a joyless asshole before as he seemed to be now, but it shocks her anyway. His laughter is deep and clear and easy. "Why wouldn't you be allowed? I need all the help I can get, and you're the only competent person who isn't obsessed with their wife right now." He smiles, and the curls at the edges of his lips turn into dimples.

"Oh. Just... like that? I don't have to earn it?" Her hand snakes across the table, and she touches the back of his hand with two fingers; his skin is so warm, almost scalding. "I mean, that works for me, but I just thought, like. In the bubbles, uh, it was all about, you know. Being better. Proving it. Or something."

He takes a sip of his coffee, but doesn't take his hand away from hers. "That's not true. Everyone was being fucking disgustingly horny in the bubbles. You just went all soul-searching because you got a girlfriend who was into it." He turns his hand over, and closes his surprisingly wide, soft hand around hers. "I'm not chasing you out, Vriska."

She nods again. "You're such a softy, Vantas. I could walk all over you." Her grin feels different, in the body she's in now, now that she's corporeal. Her teeth feel cold. "Do you even have a heater? Gog, I'm freezing. How are you not cold?" She curls her hand more tightly in his.

"What, it's cold? Weakling." He snorts, taking the bait perfectly. She stands, walking around the small table without letting go of his hand, and he doesn't mention when she sidles up to the edge of his bench next to him. "Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you just because you went and grew some feelings, Serket. I'll smash you."

Vriska wraps an arm around Karkat's waist, leeching his heat, and nods. "I'd be pissed if you didn't."

[growling]

Your au reminds me of a pair of ocs I have. They're gonna teach Yomi how to properly arrest then eat people without getting caught/suspected of anything

Step number 1: fridge

sdfwadsfdjhfg Yomi's just gonna be forever clowned on for the carcass packed mancave incident isn't he… no one's never gonna let him live it down huh. "GUYS I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE IF I WAS BY ANY POINT NOTICED CARRYING SUSPICIOUSLY HUMAN-SHAPED BODY BAGS TO MY HOUSE AND A TEENAGER RECORDED IT AND UPLOADED IT TO TICTAC AND IT WENT VIRAL IT'D BE IN TROUBLE. NO I COULDN'T GET A PORTABLE FRIDGE TO THE DEN BECAUSE UH. THE SOCKET GOT BLOCKED BY SETH MEMORABILIA. SHUT UP!!! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM GOING THROUGH DON'T TELL ME YOU CAN DO BETTER" he scream cries, but there is nothing he can do anymore to salvage his reputation. He will be forever known as the Dumbass That Single Handedly Managed To Give All The Other Homunculi A Bad Name (via slaying so many connected people & sticking to a single location, literally dooming himself to get caught within a month, he also significantly sped up the process of the general public finding out homunculi are a thing. while this would be inevitable anyway no matter how yomi went about his meal prep it's very easy and fun to just blame that one guy you didn't like anyway for the Horrors that are about to befall your collective species or whatever.)

But yeah. Yomi sure does happen in the unnamed growling brand au. Also, concerning how both the homunculi and their human originals are in many cases both somewhat important (sometimes equally so, like in the case of Yakou Times 2), I've been thinking of alt names/nicknames/aliases/you name it for the homunculi. To. Differentiate somehow. Since Yakou & Yakou are for a large chunk of the story doing their epic switcheroos and engaging in acts of trickery Yakou doesn't yet need a diff name to tell him apart from Yakou, so in my mind it's just Yakou Furio & Yakou Tworio. Hmc Martina 100% needs one, and I mean I could just go the easy way and slap her back with the good old Suwaro/Swallow, but I also hc that to be her deadname which uhh sjdfdgufh we'll figure it out guys. Aide/Fake Zilch doesn't even have an actual name anyway and his human og gets fucking digested within the first week, so is Seth, so I might not even bother.......... now Yomi, or, "Yomi" is an important character here so he needs it. While human Yomi is dead from the very very early on, he is also referenced, spoken and thought about a very significant amount through a very long period, like, clone Yomi is fucking OBSESSED with his original, and not in a sexy way. Sooooooo,

(this will probably not be worded as well as I originally hoped because I'm still not all there for the past couple of days jsut bear with me)

Hmc Yomi is actually the only character so far that I'm like, actually somewhat sure on an alias, but he didn't pick it out himself, and moreso was thrust upon him by the media/Amaterasu mostly also around when the killings were still ongoing and the culprit was completely unknown (but it was pretty much agreed on that it was almost certainly a member of the company) but after it was made clear by the WDO it was most likely an escaped homunculus. Like, you get how those serial killers get these way too cool nicknames on the newspaper? Practically what happened to him, except his is slightly less dignified or straightforward it's just There

Still a subject to change but I've been thinking of making him (un)officially dubbed as Heartworm (a dangerous parasite species primarily affecting canids and other carnivores, residing in their lungs or, well, heart, causing serious damage to the tissues, arteries, potentially heart failure, and whatever the hell else.) for a long while. I.e. the public & Amaterasu essentially calling him a deadly parasite lodged in the corporation's heart that needs to be dealt with as fast as possible before he destroys it from the inside out. He fucking hates it ksdjfhgdsiwesdf but doesn't say anything for obvious reasons just stares motherfuckerly at everyone at the peacekeeper meeting when they're discussing this. Also getting nicknamed after a literal animal is fitting for him because all the homunculi are getting dehumanized to hell and back anyway he's not special in that regard you cannot pay an Amaterasu researcher enough to cease the it/its

I was initially hesistant on settling for this one though because heartworms notably aren't really as much of a concern for humans as they are for their natural hosts, that is dogs (and also cats, bears, ferrets, sea lions but more commonly dogs and other canids you know like they're the main host you get me). But then it came to me that the overwhelming majority of "Yomi's" victims were fellow peacekeepers, and it just so happens that in my language we derogatorily call cops "dogs" and... yeah so it just wrote itself lol lmao even woof woof bark bark. hmc Yomi voice I HATE humans they make me use a fridge and shout go Heartworm go

was tyat anything . also WALL OF TEXT BLAST HE LOREDUMPED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

[agoddamnedrayofsunshine]

Hi hello I am here

Welcome to my blog, AKA "wait how did I wind up here?" Hopefully you find something fun while you're here.

I'm a nonbinary genderfluid sometimes-man-adjacent-being, any pronouns besides She are acceptable. As for my age, let's just say by Tumblr standards I'm a fossil (read: late 20s)

Hope ya like Naruto cause I've been obsessed with that nonsense since I was like 11 years old. Expect random musings and gushing over my various ships (Sannin OT3 n KisaIta ftw) at unpredictable intervals.

I also hope you like Baldur's Gate 3 because I am irrationally in love with this game and currently have a metric fuckton of fanfic of it in the works.

You can also expect various nerdery including Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, X-Men, Death Note, and like a hundred other fandoms that strike my fancy at random intervals. Occasionally I am also known to have a thought.

I am the writer of the world's okay-est fanfic over here:

(Don't ask about my original works I am way too insecure and you don't get any here)

Most of my work can be considered "dead dove" content so please heed any content warnings I apply.

If you follow me and need something trigger tagged please feel free to ask. However I'm autistic and an airhead so forgive me if I miss something.

Terfs, fash, and pro-life weirdos will be blocked on sight I do not care. Same goes for bigots of any stripe. Be fucking nice.

As I am a writer and artist, I feel like I should also make something clear:

I am not in the business of morality policing fiction. I do not care what people ship, nor do I care what others think about what I ship. I'm also not into pearl-clutching over le grimdark tropes in stories so please miss me with that nonsense. Basically, if nobody in real life is being harmed, I really do not give a solitary fuck. Not really into this pro-vs-anti shit I'm just here to have fun, mm'kay?

Though I don't have a DNI I do block liberally and with no remorse. Be a clown and I will screenshot your nonsense to laugh at with my friends and then block you and promptly forget about you once the laughter is done.

Basically, if you're chill I'll be chill. If you're an ass, you get the boot.

I DO NOT REBLOG ANY POSTS OR PUBLISH ANY ASKS THAT ARE ASKING FOR DONATIONS UNLESS I PERSONALLY KNOW YOU. This isn't to be callous or a jerk. I just can't suss out who really needs help from all of the scam bots floating around. I'm sorry but I've blocked so many bots trying to swindle people.

My tags:

Sunny said a thing: I said a thing

Sunny is committing wordcrimes: I have written a fanfic/I am talking about a fanfic

Sunny is an exmo: Various rants and thoughts about growing up and leaving the Mormon cult.

Sunny is angy/Sunny rants: exactly what it says on the tin

Vegan Talk: Also what it says on the tin. I am not one of Those Vegans and I do not care if you are a vegan or not. I am not here to preach, this tag is solely to mark posts that address the subject. I tag out of courtesy so you can filter that out if you like.

Aminals: animal posts

Anyway I hope we can have some fun and be friends!

[jokerownsmysoul]

I have the Joker suit as the screensaver of my phone, just earlier my mom noticed that and she playfully said: "Flà, you're so obsessed with him" and I was like??? You just figured it out now?

[chigusaeyes]

was tagged back by @altairring for the fandom character meme

you know how to choose them 😘

putting things under a cut~

I'll go in Reverse Order & start with Clavis ~!

I haven't paid any attention to the cesspool of self-righteous idiocacy that makes up the majority of Otoge Fandoms on Tunglr dot com, only my dear moots & the few gems I have found along the way, but I am slamming my hand down right now & declaring with confidence that the fandom at large is Probably Most Definitely wrong about him.

About what exactly? Idk I just came out swinging bc Have you met him? Yeah. I mean, I did choose 'no.' for a reason and that reason is that I clocked him as someone who is going to give me Problems & I won't be able to stop myself from loving him anyways.

Clavis, Clavis, Clavis...we have a salad spinner that we call "Nikos's Boyfriend" bc Nikos is very attached to it? He likes to try laying atop it. Idk, cats, yanno? But were I able, I would throw Clavis into Nikos's Boyfriend and spin him in there with all the love in the world.

He's a poster child for Local Clown Actually Broken Inside. P clear him & all his brothers are traumatized on some level, it comes with the...everything. Refined for each of them.

Anyways, he's the most refined mess out there and I love him. And his beauty marks. Plus his color is purple and BINCH ME TOO.

And onto Saizo.

Saizo's a fuckin' binch and I love him, I do, but oh my god do I want to SQUEAK him. Playing his route is half me going AHHHH & half me going GDI Saizo Why Can't I Quit You (This is Why I Can't Quit You ).

The Cold Asshole trope isn't my preferrence honestly, as I'm not usually into beating my head against a wall. Talk about a man loaded with trauma. But the glimpses behind The Wall that Saizo has up before he finally opens up a bit to the MC always keep me hanging on. And then the side stories etc that are post-opening up etc make me forget how much of an ass he's been. Which is the point, I think.

I say this with wry affection bc imo, Saizo is like...the fave that doesn't need to be mentioned as your fave unless you gun for Saizo and Saizo alone. Bc just abt everyone has a soft spot for him, in my experience. Not always, but it's a thing yanno?

Also him & Yukkins will never not be one of my fave combos of all time. I deeply enjoy Saizo's commentary on any+everyone else. ESPECIALLY Nobuyuki.

And speaking of Nobuyuki...

Nobuyuki is probably definitely one of my favorite Genuinely Dangerous romance/love interests of all times in a game. The Gentle Yandere is probably definitely the most sinister & dangerous of the yandere archetype.

( Not to be mistaken for the yangire, who is the "if I can't have you, I will kill you" ( vs the Classique yandere tactic of imprisonment and/or isolation ), who is arguably the most dangerous any of the Obsessive (yan-) archetypes, if only bc you're Way more likely to just fuckin' die. )

Boy I really know how to choose them huh.

( In fairness to myself - tho this Really Needn't Be Said - Nobuyuki is my favorite LI who I would Never actually want to be with irl. )

Anyways.

The psychological power of the gentle yan is so dangerous bc it gives the illusion of free will & choice, without realizing your stage has been effectively set up around you. It takes an enormous amount of interpersonal skill via manipulation & tactics, etc, to do as such too. Especially without revealing his hand. He doesn't need to lock the one he decides he wants to be with up, bc she willingly walks into the cage and locks herself in there of her own fkn volition. Brilliant, I love him So Much, he's terrible and wonderful all at the same time.

There's always going to be a power differential between Buyan and his wife & it's not for everyone's fictional preference, but it certainly is for mine. Or at least my MC-OC, gdi. Plus there are ways in which the MC proves herself to be a capable wife that Buyan respects & actively adores.

Honestly, it's those positive feelings that make him so dangerous, bc this is a man used to sacrificing aspects of himself & his own desires for the sake of his clan. And the fact that he meets someone he actually develops feelings for & gets to keep her? Oh boy. She ends up being a cage for him to put his heart into while she locks herself into a cage of his making.

Ahhh, Nobuyuki let me count the ways...between the Gentle Yan aspects, his tender smile, willingness to sacrifice his personal honor & morals for the greater good of the family ( and skill in never revealing this ), and weight upon his heart in trying to keep Yukimura safe in whatever few ways he can...seriously I love him so much.

Is Nobuyuki good? Well, he's a dutiful son & a doting maternal brother figure & a very wise leader who values his people and hearing their input. And he'll use people as he needs in order to ensure the safety and longevity of his family and their land + the people under their rule. So like. Good by what definition? WHOSE definition?

If you asked Nobuyuki if he was "good", he'd probably laugh in that soft way of his and ask what makes someone Good, before likely saying that Yukkins is the pinnacle of Goodness by the Sanada standards or something. Just rip my heart out and stomp on it, huh?

All of this is to say that while thankfully many ppl have already spoken on Buyan & how wonderfully complex he is & helped spread recognition of that...I'm, as always, very confident that there are plenty of Wrong People out there - be it due to comprehensive or critical thinking issues.

I want to put him in a salad spinner until he finally lets some goddamn tears out. I've humored ( read: hurt ) myself thinking about Nobuyuki & his Wifey MC during Yukkins's funerary process etc and the sheer grief of it all for EVERYONE involved and I hate it SO MUCH. Hate hate hate HATE. But it's also an inevitably, so fuck it, have THAT be a part of a 2nd Season for Nobuyuki, Voltage, don't be cowards---

🥲

No seriously, Nobuyuki makes me think SO MUCH, too much really, and I just. Wanna eat my whole fist. When I think abt him. I haven't opened the app in literal ages ( on one hand, it's practical, on the other hand, I missed his bday stuff Again so fuck me right? ), but I still---I mean! *waves hands at my url* I still!!!

Also that sexy scene of his where he instructs MC to meet his eyes before he will Initiate Physical Consummation of their Relationship & then having her keep her eyes locked with his during, etc? Boy that still gets me a-flustered if only bc like. Just looking AT someone during sex can be difficult at times, but maintaining eye contact?

Actually did u kno that apparently, accordingly, staring your partner in the eyes while kissing them helps to build + strengthen intimacy? I'll fuckin' say. Buyan seems like the type who would enjoy that too, what a Gigacha--- 🤣

I could keep going but seriously I love Nobuyuki and people can pull him from my cold, dead hands.

[just-more-trolls]

GAME OVER kani?

I'ma make this a two-for-one deal cuz funny enough in my personal canon they do end up dying in their session. Like I have a few snippets of how the whole session would go and if I wasn't lazy I could prolly write a fanfic of my trolls' sgrub session but anyway..

Under readmore for: Murder, death, gore, blood, uuuhhh..mental illness-induced obsession?

Kanisa stood on the ledge of a dilapidated archway, half-buried into the ground in the clearing of a dark forest swallowed by perpetual night-time. Silence enveloped the Land save for the faint rustling of leaves in the underbrush. Frogs, she assumed.

[CG]: ~Cv~ Wyllow where the hell are you with that frog?? I'm at our meetup spot..

[CG]: ~Cv~ Look just..hurry alright? I also lost contact with Keyser and Rivi.. What Kani didn't expect was the sound of Wyllow's device going off behind her. Her wings fluttered in surprise as she quickly turned to face the source..only to be met with the paint-smeared face of their mutual friend, Rivera.

"..Rivi..?" she called out, voice uncertain. The two stared at each other, donning the garb of their respective godtiers. It wasn't until' Rivera spoke that Kanisa noticed the blood smeared along the bladed edge of the ringblade hanging off of the clown's shoulder.

"Ohhh Kani~! Isn't this wonderful?? It's just you n' I now~" Rivera chirped, giving a bit of a skip and a wing-flutter as she inched closer. Reaching into her strife, Kanisa pulled out a rather mean-looking halberd, brandishing it in a death-grip as she stared Rivera down. Her focal point was survival..and vengeance while the subconscious freaked out.

It was clear Rivera was unhinged, her smile only widening as she, too, brandished her weapon, stained violet and olive.

"No words for your darling Rivi, Kani? Sad day I suppose~! That's alright.. You'll finally be mine like I've always dreamed!"

It didn't take long for the two to come to blows. Kanisa and Rivera danced through the Land of Night and Frogs, trading blow after blow both in the sky and on the ground. Blood was spilled wherever they landed, equally matched in power but not in fury.

The more they fought the angrier Kanisa got. All she could think about was her friends. How Wyllow was nearing her quest bed to join them as her own classpect before they lost contact. The more you thought about it the heavier your blows became to the point Rivera was struggling to block them.

But that didn't stop her smiling, nor her laughing. The world around them distorted, flickering between the Land they were on and some..twisted macabre version, covered in viscera and gore and..party favors..?

Kani didn't want this to happen. She didn't want to do this to her last surviving friend. With each blow reality would shift for a split second. One arm gone. Then the other before..

Rivera was pinned to the tree with the pointy end of Kanisa's halberd..and all she could do was laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

Until' she physically couldn't laugh anymore.

And with Kanisa as the last player of their session, it became a doomed session. With Kanisa having already gone godtier, she was forever trapped with the last voice in her head being Rivera's..

...laughing.

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Breath of Fire IV

I'm not sure my son is as invested in this game as he was III. He may have point, but he also may need a break...

So, a dragon flooded the dam then said hello at the coast as a mysterious musician hinted at Ryu's dragon lineage.

Afterwards, the group arrives at a town filled with traps. I can't remember 100% why. I think the intent was to keep "monsters" away so that travelers would feel safe to come by. It's kind of silly how the whole town is filled with traps and every villager is obsessed with the efficacy of their own traps.

We need to leave by a pass that is guarded by a soldier. We need the mayor's permission to pass. The mayor has guarded their front door with a cage a la Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. So you have to willing drop into a pit-trap to get into the mayor's basement. But he's not there. It's assumed he's in the nearby woods.

In the woods is an interesting minigame. There's a particular monster the Mayor has been trying to trap. When you see it, you have to track its footprints. But there's a time limit and traps everywhere.

Success means finding the mayor who proudly injures a creature with a trap. A giant boss monster appears to take revenge, which our heroes have to kill. We're then allowed to use the pass (like the guard could have stopped us).

Gonna break plot summarizing to acknowledge how this game doesn't seem as concerned about moral ambiguity and duality. It seems far more focused on war, war-minded nations, and how war hurts the populace.

After the pass we get to Synesta. I have no idea what we're doing here or what to look for. It's said that this town had previously been contaminated by the Hex, but it's been cleared...on the surface. Turns out the nuns of the local orphanage need help catching a rather escapee young boy. After a less-than-fun mini game, you catch the boy and go talk to the nuns.

The nuns remember Nina's sister, Elina, having stopped by on a special mission. But they don't know what happened next. The young boy says he knows, but won't tell until you finish a game of hide-n-seek.

No thank you.

But I have no choice.

After finding all but the escapee kid, it's said he may be hiding out in the city's underbelly, which is still infested with monsters from the Hex. Still, some random dude that Ryu could one-hit kill prevents us from going downstairs. But he's thirsty.

I'm not sure how much the player has an effect on this, but there's a lady with water for sale. She doesn't sell it to you. Just says she's selling it. Then she walks over to the basement guard and the guy gets distracted by water. Less than exciting.

Down in the basement, we find the boy. He admits that Elina was confronted by a Local "merchant" and Imperial officials. So we need to speak to this "merchant": Marlock. But Marlock's front door is guarded by a muscle guy--whose ass we kick. Marlock is intrigued by our violence and agrees to see us.

Marlock, with his French accent, says he didn't do anything bad to Elina (sure). He expects you to do a deed to get his help. He wants you to track down a theif and leave Nina behind...to help out around the house.

I got confused about where the thief was, cause we found his empty hide out. Turns out you have to stop at one the questions marks on the way. The thief makes a run for it. Now at his hideout, we use a mini-game to catch him. He reveals that he was in-debt to Marlock and the stuff he stole was first stolen from him. Cray thinks this is BS and we go back empty handed to confront Marlock.

All the while, Marlock is slowly trying to get Nina to put her hands on him, cause he's a fucking creeper.

Marlock is not excited by our "failure" and says the stuff was his, whether or not he obtained it by fair means. He offers another job, go help out on a sandflier wharf. Once again, we leave Nina to be objectified and sexually harassed by Marlock.

At the wharf, we're tasked with a mini-game of using cray to push barrels and vases into the correct places. Afterward, we have to load a sandflier with a mildly entertaining mini-game. You use a crane to load boxes. It's not very user friendly, but ah-well.

Just as we're about to throw our hands up about the BS, Nina apepars, followed by Marlock. I fear what they implied happen. Anyway, Marlock offers us the "best cabin" to get to...the next place. Which is where he took Elina. This "best Cabin" is a crate. Makes sense, but Cray isn't having it.

We arrive at a large tower the transports things via magic across the sea. After wandering around, fighting monsters (my son doesn't enjoy the fighting: BORING), we get to the top. BUT the imperial soldier that Nina and Ryu confronted at the beginning of the game stops us. He's not gonna let us leave.

After a boss battle, we jump through the portal. The imperial solider can't believe that he's seen a dragon.

This was good, cause I kept thinking about how in BoF3, everyone is obsessed with the fact that Ryu is a dragon. While other dragons are important to the plot in BoF4, it seems no one really cares that Ryu is a dragon.

FLASHBACK

Or...Flash over...no sure.

Fou Lu is recovering from his injuries. Bunyan is helping him (good ole Bunyan). Once healed, Bunyan asks, sadly, if another war is coming. He was a soldier and didn't like the war. Fou Lu heads down the mountain but is confronted by clown-nose, leading imperial troopes. (I can't remember clown-nose's name, but he's the guy that attacked Fou Lu at the beginning.)

Fout Lu fights off the boss, then turns into a dragon to flee. Clown-nose sends another boss, and Fou Lu is injured in his escape.

Back to Ryu and Friends, they've made it to the Imperial side and go to the next town. This town has a large gun, a la Junon (FF7). it's what they used to shoot the Hex at towns across the see. It requires water to cool down, so they needed an aqueduct. I wandered about, talking to everyone, trying to figure out what to do. Apparently I just needed to leave, cause the next area appeared on the map.

it's the aqueduct. It's short, but requires some camera shifting to figure out. It's kind of interesting, because the game warps you to special battle rooms instead of having monsters appear on the screen, it allows the designers to make more interesting dungeons that don't necessarily have to accommodate the appearance of monsters. But also, the towns are waaaaaay too claustrophobic, making it hard to move around and find things.

The aqueduct takes us to the place the team dreamed about. They're sure they'll find Elina hear. We're caught by an official and he tells use Elina WAS there, but is there no longer. I'm sure this is a play on words given what I know about Elina's fate.

So that's it for now.

The world map is interesting. You don't roam freely like in BoF3, but it also takes less work to get to new locals. I'm a little torn, but it's fine. It also allows the world map to just be a map, offering more realistic looking landscapes...in a sense.

I'm enjoying the graphics. Clearly the team better understood the PS1 hardware. It's still fairly block, but the textures are great and look amazing even for a 20+ year old game!

[the-spooky-children]

I'm not waiting for an answer (also I meant to say "life" not "like" I just wrote this entire thing out and posted it before noticing- just to clear up any confusion :D)

He was born in mid April, in spring, of 2004. His name was Beverly Skid Everything.

(Read more button insert because this got long)

His parents (his mom, Lila, and his dad, [REDACTED],) used to move around alot, but settled in the countryside from around 2005-2007.

His parents were both very loving and attentive, but something seemed to be going on with his dad behind the scenes. He didn't notice that though, obviously.

On his 5th birthday, in 2009, they were out celebrating it. Some terrifying strange creature appeared and tried to attack them (after he went out into the woods to find something he accidentally threw in there where he saw 2 cyan stars in the shadows gazing at him with curiosity).

His dad ordered Lila to take Skid and run while he tried to fight off the mysterious monster. It ended up killing him. Skid doesn't like to celebrate his birthday anymore.

(If you were wondering, yes that part was based on the prologue of Brave)

Afterwards, to deal with the grief, he developed a love for Hallowen, which he called Spooky Month.

Halloween was a holiday he treated like any other before, he just wore random costumes for his dad to take pictures of him with his mom and have fun. They sometimes wore several different costumes each year just to get more diverse photos.

But now it was very special to him.

In 2010, when Skid was 6, they moved to a town in Arizona because neither wanted to stay in the place they lost a significant loved one. Lila's mom, Skid's grandma, now lived with them. But she wouldn't last for long (oof)

This is when Skid befriended a kid around the same age as him called Pump, who was just as obsessed with Spooky Month as he was. The two (2) quickly become close friends and also gained a reputation as the two (2) Halloween-obsessed weird kids.

In mid 2010, this group called the Hatzgang started to pick on them but the main one, Roy, seemed to be the only one actually interested in upsetting them.

In October 2010 "It's Spooky Month" takes place.

They summon this demon Skid later finds out is called Moloch, and mistakes him for a friend when the red dude actually hates him.

In "The Stars" in late 2011, Skid unknowingly has his second encounter with Eyes, who recognised him as the kid he saw in the forest years ago, but didn't voice his thoughts.

The Hatzgang start to harass them more as they get older, but Ross and Robert seem to be kind of scared of them after Eyes hypnotizes them

It turns out that the strange things that used to happen with his dad were actually because he was a cult leader, and after he died, the cult had been following Skid and Lila around waiting for the right time to strike.

Their second leader, Mr. Clown, got shot by a cop called Jack and possibly died. Now they may need a third. Maybe another Everything.

Skid isn't affected by Eyes' powers, and the cult notice.

In 2012 "Unwanted Guest" happens. It's June, but they don't care. They buy a Happy Fella and Moloch almost kills them but luckily Eyes was watching the whole situation in the distance and took action.

Skid starts to feel paranoid all of a sudden out of nowhere for the first time, like someone is watching or following him. It may just be him getting older and developing more complex emotions, but who knows?

And now we're here. I'll expand on this when SM 4 comes out.

I've created a little timeline of Skid's like up to the present Spooky Month episode anyone wanna hear it