#just saying it’s interesting how much that moved yusuke. i’m normal about it okay

[frogs-in3-hills]

watching yyh and i’m not very far but i am feeling a little insane about how casually self sacrificing yusuke is, how he’s literally incapable of seeing his own worth or thinking ahead for one second to realize that the people around him do actually love him. he knows they do, he’s been shown that multiple times, but it’s like he can’t believe it. and how he keeps thoughtlessly throwing his life away for other people and the universe keeps going, okay kid, that was really good of you so we’re gonna give you One More Chance so take it seriously alright? but he can’t. HE CAN’T take his own life seriously. he’s such a wonderful kind boy but he can’t recognize that within himself. he’s just a thug, he’s a burden, he’s a bother, he’s not worth anyone’s time and these are ideas are so internalized that he doesn’t even realize the problem with constantly using his own life as a bargaining chip.

[atopearth]

Brothers Conflict (Passion Pink) Part 2 - Asahina Kaname Route

Okay, I'm not the most interested in Kaname since he feels like such a pervert lmao, but we'll see I guess loll. LOL I hate it when Kaname makes everything become so sexual, but I really like his voice so I'm confused😭 It's so cute how Ema is becoming more snarky with her responses to Kaname because he's so over the top with what he says lol. I love how Ukyo is the one who scolds Tsubaki and Kaname for troubling Ema with their incessant flirting, like geez to them lol! I love how Ukyo told Kaname to like get away from her forever😂😂 Anyway, I think I'm already kinda warming up to Kaname, just because on the dates, he's not so "crazy" about her and acts normal lol, but still really loving and sweet. I liked how he held her hand when she got a bit cold after the dolphin show, he probably knew she would be uncomfortable if he hugged her, so he did that at least and I think that was quite considerate of him considering how he usually acts haha. Lmao when the right option was to say that she wants to be like Kaname (kind and attentive), it was kinda cute how he laughed and thought she was cute for saying that hahaha.

Aww I love the zoo one where Ema doesn't go check out Tsubaki and Azusa filming because it's a day out with Kaname and she wants to properly spend time with him because of that. Lmao when Ema got turned off on going on the rollercoaster after Kaname said it would be wonderful to hold her hand and kiss her when it gets to the highest part on the ride lolll. Well, he didn't explicitly say her but he might as well have😂 Aww, even though I thought Ema was really reckless to overdo it looking for Wataru in the rain, but I think alike Kaname, it was really nice to see that she cares so much for the brothers that she was so obstinate about finding him before caring about herself. I would have loved to see Kaname hug her~~ I agree with Kaname though, there's something about listening to the waves at night, seeing the sky and the ocean kinda merge together, and you start to think about how vast everything is and how small other things are. It really helps to calm you down, but I guess at the same time it can be unsettling though haha. Kaname is such a sweet talker to say that he would save her before she would even get scared or cry hahaha. I definitely love the more serious Kaname, there's something really mature and alluring about him when he's not joking around haha. LOL when he went over to the water and tripped over seaweed😂😂 It was so cute how he pulled her into the water too for laughing at him. OMG I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT!! I knew he was going to be corny and say that love is mightier than the pen and the sword but I honestly didn't think he would kiss her so suddenly!!! The CG is so beautiful btw. Something I wish Masaomi's route had was something like a kiss CG though, that would have been so nice, they were just so polite with each other all the time, it was kinda sad we never got to see anything more romantic, it was still cute though of course but yeah~ I'm really enjoying Kaname's route now.

Okay, I died when Ema fed Kaname her Bento when they went to the park, like omggg that's so cute. Honestly though for Ema, regardless of whether she likes Kaname or not, I think it's a bit hard to act normal with him after he kissed her like that on the family holiday lol. Omggg, Kaname was pretty pushy, but honestly him asking if he could kiss her again and stuff was pretty hot lolll! Especially when he licked or kissed her ear or something loll omg. He's moving wayy too fast for Ema's innocent mind haha. But at least even though he's pushy, he's never really forced her to do anything, and the drive to the night view was something she was okay with going to with Kaname. But she did trust him to not overdo it and he did push her past her boundaries a bit so yeah...it was hot but also I felt bad for Ema. Okay, Kaname apologised to her, that's good. I guess her avoiding him and Iori telling Kaname how down she seemed helped him realise he might have gone a bit too far lol. Omgg when drunk Subaru pushed Ema down though, like it was hot, but I felt so bad for her because she was scared, I think Azusa comforting her after he saw them though was what made my heart melt. He's so sweet, I love Azusa😭 Anyway, ever since I checked Kaname's VA and realised that it's Suwabe Junichi (VA for Archer from Fate/stay night), I was like, no wonder why I love his voice!! Hahaha, and yes, now I like Kaname even more loll. I'm so glad Ukyo was there to hit Kaname at the cultural festival, lmao at the things he says sometimes, like seriously, super inappropriate lol. But lmao at Kaname announcing to her classmate that he's Ema's boyfriend loll.

Honey in cafe au lait?? Is that a thing??🤔 Anyway, I usually hate it when the guy is jealous and possessive, but honestly when Kaname got jealous and mad, I couldn't help but feel a bit happy because it was kinda..cute? Hahaha. On the other hand, Azusa being a bit "mad" that Kaname took Ema away was cute too, I love him loll. It's kinda interesting how Ema always thinks Kaname is playing around with her and isn't serious at all, but then she does stuff like stay over in his room hahaha, anyway, it's cute how he always says good morning to her~ When Ema asked if they could sleep together (since she couldn't sleep), I knew Kaname would find it difficult to hold himself back, but dangg, the kisses🥰🥰🥲 Awww Kaname let her use his arm as a pillow, that's actually really cute. Anyway lmao I find it hilarious that Juli the squirrel is calling her pitiful for spending Christmas Eve playing games hahahah. It's kinda cute how hardcore Ema is when it comes to games though lol. Lmaoo at Yusuke and Tsubaki's new year's wishes, they're so silly😂 It was kinda interesting to see both Ema and Kaname bury the kitten, mainly because it was nice to hear that the idea of the dead's souls/hearts returning to the side of those who think about them is a nice way to view death? Honestly though, I really want to like Kaname but his "romantic scenes" have been irking me quite a bit, especially the last one sleepover CG(?), like I really like how hot he sounds and I alwaysss get enraptured by his voice but seriously, he needs to stop lol. Like, if Ema was more receptive to his advances, I think I wouldn't be as uncomfortable but she's always telling him no and to stop it, but he just continues and says afterwards that he held himself back already. Like excuse me dude, if you held yourself back, you wouldn't be practically forcing yourself on Ema and touching her without her permission especially when she says no. Like seriously, he's the adult here! Anyway, yeah I feel like the only time I liked him was around the kiss scene lol. On the other hand, I find it interesting that Ema still thinks Kaname is just playing around with her when he's kissed her and stuff. To be fair though, he's always teasing her and he's never seriously told her his feelings in a way that she would understand as not playing with her so I'd say it's more his fault, especially since she's younger and more naive, and she considers him her brother so...

Very Kaname-like to give Ema perfume for White Day and then tell her to only use it when she goes out with him haha. HAHAHA, I just realised I missed out on a funny zoo date where Kaname asks Ema what animal she thinks he would prefer compared to Juli, and she said it probably doesn't really matter to him because he likes human girls the most😂😂 I mean, it's nice that Ema finally realised her feelings when she saw Kaname with another girl and Tsubaki and Yusuke said he always does that and is never serious about any girl, but it was pretty random and sudden tbh lol. I feel like it could have been done better especially since most of Kaname and Ema's recent scenes have just been him "attacking" her lol. I'm glad that Tsubaki who is usually as playful as Kaname is, is now shouting at Kaname telling him to stop playing around with her if he isn't serious, because really, if she doesn't understand and think so, there's no point if he thinks he is serious. Oh wow, did Kaname just break his phone to prove that he's serious about her and won't talk to other people? Lol! Whaaat! Kaname quit being a monk and went to his mother's company?? Honestly though, I'm rather suspicious of this monk thing, like was he actually a host all along? Lol, I mean, we never actually got to see him do anything related to his work this whole entire route lol. Anyway, the kyodai/brother ending is really weird considering the flow of events and how Kaname kissed her and stuff for alllll those months, like that doesn't make sense!! Lol anyway doesn't matter. Btw, Kaname in the epilogue(?) is sooo hot in a suit, and omggg at Ukyo discovering their relationship in the worst way especially with how Kaname says stuff lol. Otherwise, the CG was niceeee 🥰

Overall, I loveee Suwabe Junichi's voice and I really think he made Kaname a better character than he actually was lmao. Honestly, I really enjoyed the beginning of this route and I really thought I'd love their relationship because of how forward Kaname is, but I think from the middle onwards, I lost a lot of interest because of how clunky the flow of events were, and the events themselves were rather disappointing I guess. Most of the events that happened after the kiss was mostly just Kaname "teasing" Ema and a lot of them were more uncomfortable than sexy even though his voice really made me love and hate it lolll. My heart was confused haha. Kaname does a lot of things that are a bit over for me especially since Ema isn't very receptive towards it and tells him to stop but he really doesn't and touches her quiteeee a bit, so yeah I didn't like it all that much, but at the same time I could never really understand Ema either? Lol. Like, she seemed so confused throughout the route about Kaname and I feel like she only liked him because I "chose" him through the dialogue options than because she really liked him lol. I think a lot of it was just awkward, especially her revelation that she likes him, like lady, you saw him with Hikaru before too lol, but anyway their "confession" of love to each other was also pretty underwhelming considering how frustrating their relationship was throughout the route lol. Otherwise, I loved Kaname's voice and if you ignore how much he touches Ema and says so many inappropriate crap, he's actually pretty sweet and loving. I definitely prefer Masaomi overall though haha.

[kareofbears]

day 30: dusk

Hawaii is hot, beautiful, crowded, and decidedly not downtown Tokyo.

---

(Or, the Hawaii school trip rewritten.)

He's about to leave his hotel room when his phone starts ringing. Akira sighs, and swipes up.

"I said to call when you get there."

"Hello to you too, Futaba," Akira greets the pouting girl on the screen. "Sorry, things got busy."

"For five days!? Do you hate me?"

"I could never!" He exclaims, mock offended. "I just wanted to get you the perfect souvenir, unless you don't want the super cool Featherman stickers I saw in a gift shop—"

She gasps, pushing her face right up against the camera, screen blurring as she shakes her phone around. "You’re lying, Kurusu! There's no way you found the limited edition American Featherman laptop stickers there!"

"Mm, I'd be willing to cough it up, but only if an annoying brat is willing to forgive me."

"I forgive you, I forgive you!" She shrieks, eyes glimmering with excitement in a near dangerous way. "Okay, go have fun! Buy more of the stickers, too! I could sell them for big bucks in Japan."

"We are not ruining the merch economy, Futaba."

"You're no fun."

"I'm going now. Be good, you monster."

"Over my dead body would I ever do something good."

----

"That looks fun."

Makoto looks up from her place in the sand, a bucket in her hand. "It is. Would you like to join me?"

Akira nods, and sits beside her. He peers at her mediocre pile. There’s no design or meaning to it—It’s truly just a small mound of sand. "Is that supposed to be a sand castle?"

"Yes," she sighs. "I'm glad you can tell, at least. I've been trying to train myself to accept not being good at some things right away, so I decided to try and create a sandcastle; a task I've never practiced before."

"You never take a break, do you?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call this working," Makoto replies, filling her bucket with white sand. "Though how people create such tall sand castles are beyond me. How do they do it without some adhesive of some kind?" She then dumps the entire bucket onto her pile, grains sliding down as gravity takes hold. It settles back to its original, lackluster heap of sand. "Quite the predicament."

Akira stares at her. "Is that how you've been doing it this whole time?"

"Yes. Is something wrong?" She fills up another bucket of sand.

"Well—" Dump. "That's not...really how you do it."

She frowns. "I wish you'd told me that sooner, I've been working on this for fifteen minutes, and it would be a waste of time to—" Suddenly, a screaming child runs through her pile, flinging sand into both of their eyes.

After a solid minute of coughing and aggressive rubbing, Makoto turns to Akira. "A lesson would be excellent, thank you."

----

“Ooo, look at this one!” Ann exclaims, peering closely at massive, floral-themed sunglasses.

The two of them are strolling through the shopping district of their resort, pointing at random knick-knacks and giving their hot takes on them. To everyone’s surprise, Ann and Yusuke make excellent shopping partners; Yusuke is really the only one who can keep up with Ann’s insatiable need to shop, and he never butters up his response. In return, Ann listens closely to whatever advice he can give about aesthetics and color coding outfits.

“Tacky, but definitely in with the spirit of our island here,” he nods. “I think you should buy it. It will definitely bring some color into the dreariness of Tokyo.”

“You think?” Ann wears them, and looks in a mirror. “Not too much?”

“No, especially if you pair them with the blouse you bought in Shibuya.”

“The white one? Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright,” Ann nods. “I trust you! But if Ryuji laughs at me, I will be throwing these at his head.”

“What on earth does he know about the art of aesthetics and fashion? Certainly not close to the knowledge that you and I possess, surely?”

Ann grins. “This is why you rock, Yusuke.”

“Thank you.”

They pay for her shades before continuing their stroll through the pavilion.

“Thanks for helping me out!” Ann says, basking in the sun. “Ever since Shiho moved, I don’t really feel like I have a friend who I can shop with. I mean, there’s Haru, or Makoto, or even Akira, but I feel like I bore them after a while.”

“My pleasure,” Yusuke replies, every step he takes deliberately putting himself underneath the shade. “I can see no better use of my schedule than practicing the art of color-coding in real time rather than in front of a canvas.”

She hums. “Are you gonna buy anything?”

“Oh, lord no,” he scoffs. “To spend my money on something such as souvenirs when I can hardly imagine paying for my next meal is laughable. No, I’m perfectly content with simply aiding you on your journey.”

Ann blinks at him, before gasping loudly. “I know, I know!” She whirls in front of Yusuke, clapping her hands together. “To thank you for always being with me on my shopping trips, how about I, Takamaki Ann, will buy you one thing in this entire shopping district, free of charge!”

Yusuke frowns. “I can’t possibly do that to you.”

“Sure you can! Think of it as a thank you for being my shopping best friend!” She grips his forearm tightly, eyes twinkling. “Come on, it’ll be fun! Please!”

Yusuke shifts in place, torn. “Only if you’re certain—”

“Heck yeah, I am! Let’s go!”

=

“How about a nice shirt?”

Yusuke tilts his head, holding an armful of fake coconuts. “I have a shirt back at home.”

“Yeah, but…okay, nevermind.” Ann sighs. Shopping for Yusuke is turning out to be a headache. Every time she offers something, he always seems to find a reason not to get it.

“Oo, how about a hat?” She says, showing him a very cheesy red hat with the word ‘Aloha’ written on the top.

“I’m not a fan of hats. To restrict the brain would be to restrict the mind.”

Ann holds back a groan. She wishes Akira were here—his mental alignment with Yusuke is miles better than hers. “Sorry, Yusuke, I’m out of ideas.”

“That’s quite alright,” Yusuke smiles. “I do have to thank you for the offer--” He stops, eyes zoning in on something behind her. “My goodness,” he whispers, before running.

“Wh-what? Wait up!”

Yusuke lifts a massive tiki head, mouth agape. “It’s brilliant…” he mutters, gently brushing the wood with his thumb. “Look at the intricate carving, the colors, the size!” He gasps, before turning to her desperately, still clutching his artifact. “Ann. I need it.”

Ann opens her mouth, before closing it, teeth clacking together. It’s better not to question Yusuke, and she has to wonder why she even tried to offer something normal to him when, in reality, he’s anything but. “Sure thing.”

They walk out of the store five minutes later, Ann’s shades still perched on top of her head and Yusuke happily carrying a 3 foot tiki head.

----

Akira's sitting underneath the shade of an umbrella when Haru decides to visit.

"Hello, there."

He looks up, sunglasses darkening the figure in front of him. She’s wearing her bright teal swimsuit with a large, white sun hat on her head. "Wanna join?" he asks, patting the sand beside him.

"I'd love to," she replies, settling down beside him. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure Ryuji doesn't drown." At her inquisitive look, he continues, "He's been trying to surf for the past twenty minutes."

"Ah, I see. Are you not interested in joining?"

"Not a fan of getting in water if I can help it. You?"

"I prefer to enjoy the sun with some reading," she gestures to the book in her hands: Flowerpedia.

"I'm surprised you haven't read that one before."

"I have!" She smiles, and he mimics her in return. It's nice to see Haru happy despite all odds. "But I like to reread it when I can't actually garden. It still lets me feel as though I'm on the school rooftop this way."

"I'll let you get to it then."

Akira enjoys the sun as Haru flicks open her book. With the waves crashing, the winds blowing, and people around them laughing amongst themselves, it makes for a calming atmosphere.

After a few minutes, Haru looks up from her book. "Oh, would you look at that,” They both watch as Ryuji finally stands on his surfboard, knees shaking. His brow is furrowed in intense concentration, even more so than in group study sessions (which, in reality, doesn’t mean much). "He's doing quite well."

Akira raises his hands and cups it over his mouth. His voice turns high pitched, "Looking cool, Sakamoto-senpai!"

Ryuji looks up, eagerly looking to see which cute kouhai is calling his name before slipping off the board, submerging in water completely as his surfboard continues to ride the current without him.

Haru purses her lips, trying not to laugh. "Too cruel, Akira-kun."

"I think of it as ‘just right.’"

----

“Yo, Haru! Ann!”

The girls turn around to see Ryuji enthusiastically running towards them, a hand behind his back.

“Hello Ryuji-kun,” Haru smiles. “You seem happy.”

“You bet I am! Because, I, Sakamoto Ryuji,” he rips his hand up, showcasing a neon green frisbee. “Bought a motherfuckin’ frisbee! Oops, sorry Haru.”

“I told you, I don’t mind if you swear.”

“A frisbee?” Ann asks, skeptical. “You’re that excited over a piece of plastic?"

“Hey! Have you ever played frisbee on a beach? It’s fu-frick, ugh, whatever, it’s amazing! It tires you out like crazy and it’s super fun. Plus, there ain’t much places to throw a frisbee around in Tokyo, unless you wanna get hit by a car or something.” He grins widely, jumping in place. “So? How about it? Wanna play a few rounds?”

“Ugh, pass. Sounds lame."

“What?! I spent a crazy amount of money on this thing—screw gift shops by the way, they're monsters—and you’re gonna call it lame?”

“Don’t worry Ryuji-kun!” Haru says kindly. “I’d love to play frisbee with you”

“Aw, you’re a lifesaver!” Ryuji whoops. “Unlike this killjoy over here.”

Ann rolls her eyes. “Whatever. I’m meeting with Akira. Later, Haru.”

Ryuji and Haru separate a good few meters apart and begin to lightly throw the frisbee from each other.

“Would you like to have more distance between us?” Haru calls after a few minutes of tossing. “I’d hate to feel like I’m boring you.”

“Only if you want! Don’t wanna make you sweat or nothin’.”

“I want to!” Haru says, determined. “To learn a skill like proper throwing and the technicalities of a perfect aim is helpful in our endeavor!”

“Hell yeah, that’s the badass Haru I know! Okay, let’s get some distance in here.”

The two of them separate even further, to the point where they have to scream in order to have a conversation.

“Is this good?!” Haru yells, holding the frisbee in her hand.

“Totally!” Ryuji shouts back. “Throw it!”

Haru takes a deep breath, and throws the frisbee with all her might. Perhaps it was her passion for learning new things, or maybe it was simply because she really, really wanted it to reach Ryuji in a beautiful arc where it would land directly in his waiting hands—instead, the neon green frisbee that was lovingly bought with Ryuji's pocket money is flung, gliding into the ocean. They watch in silence as it floats, far and away, until it’s out of sight.

Ryuji does his best to go through the five stages of grief in as little time as possible.

Haru sprints towards him, apologies already bubbling from her lips, promising to buy him ten frisbees and ‘I'm so sorry I don't know what happened Ryuji-kun, come on let's go back to the gift shop.’ In the end, Ryuji successfully turns down her offer, opting instead that they split a banana split back in the hotel.

"I don't know what happened," Haru sighs, shoving strawberry ice cream in her mouth. "I must have thrown it much too hard, I'm—"

"If you say sorry again, I'm making you eat the banana."

She frowns. "Do you not like the banana part of a banana split?"

"Of course not, do I look like someone who likes fruits? Anyway, point is, stop apologizin'! No harm, no foul."

"You looked devastated, Ryuji-kun."

He waves it off. "That's fine. What do they say in English? C'est la vie?"

"I'm... pretty sure that's not English. But please, one last time, allow to me apologize—"

"What, for being too strong?" He asks, eyebrow quirking up. "Look, I know you're my senpai and all, but lemme say this." Ryuji scoops a spoonful of chocolate in his mouth before continuing. "Never apologize for being too strong, especially in a shi-crappy world like this, okay? Lotsa people wish they have what you have, and people who are strong seem to be doin' awesome! I mean, look at Ann—she can probably kick my ass!"

"But she wouldn't."

"She wouldn't," he shrugs. "Doesn't mean that she can't, though. Anyway, for the last time," he points his spoon at her seriously, dripping with melting ice cream. "It's chill. You’re strong and that's awesome. Probably from all the dirt you carry, or weeds you pull out, or something."

Haru giggles. "Thank you, Ryuji-kun."

"No prob! Hey, let's see if we can get away with fillin’ up an entire bowl with caramel sauce!"

"I don't think that's the best idea."

----

"Akiraaaaa~"

"Yes, Ann?"

She grins, donned in her bikini and proudly shoving her phone in his face. Her beach bag hangs off of her shoulders. "Photoshoot?"

He pretends to think about it. "Only if I get compensated."

"You'll get compensated through a movie when we get back?"

"Deal."

Ann chooses a nice, empty spot on the beach; a seemingly impossible task given that Hawaii is a magnet for tourists. "This place is perfect!"

"It is," he agrees. "Any particular angles you're feeling right now?"

"You know my good ones," Ann says, throwing her bag down. She'd dragged him to enough of her photoshoots that he can practically mimic them, in order, alongside her.

Akira nods, and they get to work. She gives him a variety of poses—playful, confident, flirty, and he tries his best to channel his inner Ohya and get the best shots possible (at least, enough for ‘the ‘Gram,’ as she would affectionately call it). At one point, Akira has his stomach against the sand to capture her angles, to the amusement of the people watching.

"Ooo, what a cameraman!" Ann calls, one leg in the air, mid-pose.

"Only the best for the next Vogue superstar."

She laughs, but abruptly stops when a rough, deep, unknown voice yells at them.

"Show us more, sweetheart!"

Ann makes eye contact with a massive bodybuilder, eyeing her. She giggles. "Only if you come here!"

Akira clenches his jaw as the man saunters over to her, clearly thrilled to have Ann's attention. "What's your name, honey?"

Ann smiles, leaning over, having the man salivating behind her. Then, she picks up her bag and slams it across the guy's jaw. "My name is eat shit, asshole!"

He stumbles back, shocked and clutching his jaw. "You're fucking crazy!" He spits out, backing away from her, before stomping in another direction.

Akira sits up, smiling, and puts his hand up to her. "Good one."

"Thanks!" She enthusiastically high-fives him. "Was it too much?"

"The ‘eat shit’ thing? No, it's pretty classy."

"Right? It really gets the message across!"

"You want more pictures?"

After a second, she answers, "Nah, I’m good. I am down for a selfie though."

He smiles, and they both throw bunny ears around each other, both grinning at the camera.

----

"You okay there?"

Yusuke groans, eyes closed, leaning his head back on the sofa. His hand absent-mindedly rubs his bloated stomach. The two of them are sitting alone in the hotel buffet lounge on a table that's too big for them. Everyone else had left already, too impatient to wait for Yusuke to finish. "I feel that death is approaching."

Akira grimaces in sympathy. "Was it before or after the third plate of fried squid?"

"Before." He sighs. "I am not accustomed to so much food being available to me that I may have been a tad too eager."

"I can see that," Akira pushes his glass of water towards his mildly green-looking friend. "Drink that when you can."

"Thank you, but if I attempt to put anything in my mouth right now..." he shivers. "I cannot imagine it."

"Wanna try walking it off?"

Yusuke considers it. "Yes, that would suffice."

Akira helps Yusuke up, not unlike helping an aging Saint Bernard stand, and together they make their way to the beach.

He breathes in deeply, smiling ever so slightly. "As always, a great decision, leader. I feel my insides cleansing with the salt of the ocean."

"Do you like the ocean?"

"Yes. In truth, this is only my second time going; the first being when we went in the summer," he hesitates, before admitting, "Sensei didn't like to take us places as it could have been a distraction from making art."

"That's weird," Akira says. "Since places and experiences can help you make art, can't it?"

"My thoughts exactly. Sensei seemed to have forgotten how art is truly created, instead remembering how art can be acquired," he looks to the ocean, eyes distant. "A shame, since the ocean truly is something remarkable that cannot be captured without seeing it in real life."

He takes in Yusuke's expression, the way he stares longingly at the sea, and asks, "Do you want to make art now?"

"I'd love to, but my canvases were taken away during customs," he grimaces. "A shame, since I had brought five as well. What a waste of good supplies."

Akira tugs on his fringe. "You know, sand is almost like a textured canvas, isn't it?" He traces a smiley face on the sand with his heel. "Check it out."

Yusuke blinks. "Yes, but then I won't be able to take it back with me. It would eventually be washed away, or stepped on, or—"

"Yeah but you're not doing this to put it in a gallery, aren't you?" Akira asks, smiling at Yusuke. "This is just so you have a way to make art and enjoy it."

His eyes widen, before Yusuke chuckles quietly. "You truly have an interesting mind, leader."

"You and me both."

"Alright!" Yusuke starts, clapping his hands together. "Allow me to make art, not for a museum, nor for any of these pedestrians, but for myself."

Akira watches Yusuke make intricate patterns on the white sand for forty minutes; true to his word, he was constantly interrupted by kids sprinting across his make-shift canvas, waves washing it away, and at one point someone had dropped their entire surfboard right in the middle of it all.

Yusuke steps back, and admires his work. It’s barely comprehensible—just a lot of swirls and lines, but he's smiling wider than Akira’s ever seen.

"What do you think?"

"Does it matter what I think?" Akira shrugs. "I thought you never liked making art for others' opinion."

"I'd be willing to say you're the exception."

He grins, and claps his hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. "If that's the case, then I'd say it's perfect."

----

"Three-on-three, girls against boys."

Haru puts her hand up politely. "Pardon the accusation Mako-chan, but it seems that the teams may be unfair to us girls. After all, the tallest of us is Ann, who's only 5'6."

"Nah," Ryuji shakes his head, pointing an accusatory finger at Makoto. "You weren't there when we went to the beach before. She spikes down on us, no problem. Fuckin' hurts to try and block her, too. If anything, girls’ll have the advantage here.”

"But don’t worry about them, either," Ann pipes up. "They'll have Akira on the team. He makes a great setter."

"Not to mention that Yusuke is literally 5'11," Akira points out, hand raised to block out the intense Hawaiian sun.

Ryuji looks at Yusuke, as if only now seeing his height. "Huh. Damn, you're tall, huh? Like a telephone post, or something."

"I'll take that as a compliment; without telephone posts, we cannot use telephones."

"Hell yeah, we can't!" he grins, despite Yusuke's lackluster response. "You'll earn us a ton of points dude!"

Yusuke smiles. "You can rely on me."

=

"Yusuke!" Ryuji wails, frustrated. "You can't just stand and put your arms up to block! You gotta jump! Like this!" He demonstrates. "You're just letting all her spikes in at this rate!"

"But," Yusuke frowns. "If I jump too much, I start to sweat."

"Then take off that goddamn hoodie!"

"Hmm, that's possible. However, too much sun isn't good for me. It makes me sweat."

Ryuji screams, and Akira pats his back.

The score is roughly 22 - 8, girls in the lead. Haru makes for a good setter with her steady hands, and Makoto has never hesitated about anything in her life, which both add up to a dangerous combo. On the other side of the net, the only reason they earned their meager set of points is from Akira's setter dumps. Anytime he tries to set to Ryuji, Ryuji gets so excited that he either misses the timing, or simply forgets to jump. Though, Ryuji is fantastic at receiving the ball, from his stamina and fast reflexes. Yusuke, however, refuses to receive any of Makoto's spikes, opting instead to tilt his body out of her line of fire.

"It's okay, Yusuke!" Haru calls encouragingly from the other side. "Volleyballs are pretty scary sometimes!"

"Thank you Haru, but I am truly unperturbed by the point gap."

"You should be!" Ryuji screeches.

"It's not just his fault, you idiot!" Ann yells back, all too happy to pick on Ryuji. "You're the one that can't run and jump at the same time!"

"Sh-shut up! You're letting Haru and Makoto do all the work!"

"That's way better than losing by fourteen points!"

“How long did it take you to do that mental math, Takamaki? Or did Makoto whisper the answer to you?”

“Which one of us got 29% on the last math practice exam, because it wasn’t me!”

"How about we grab food?" Makoto cuts in. "It's about that time, anyway."

"Food sounds good," Akira says quickly, eager to lower Ryuji’s blood pressure.

Yusuke nods, pleased. "Yes, I was just about famished, anyway."

"Akira told me you almost threw up."

"That was nearly two hours ago. Everything has been digested."

"I worry about you, Yusuke."

----

"Hey."

Akira turns around to see Ryuji kicking the ground, making tiny sand clouds with his flip flops. The sun is about to set soon, casting their chunk of Hawaiian beach in an ethereal golden glow. Thankfully, with the lack of heat, there are substantially less people wandering around, and it can almost be considered peaceful. Quiet, even.

"Hey, yourself."

Ryuji rubs the back of his neck, "I'm not really hungry yet. You?"

Akira feels himself smile. "Can't say that I am. Wanna walk?"

"Almost like you read my mind."

So they walk along the shoreline, flip flops in their hands as they talk, waves lapping at their feet as they laugh about nothing and everything, basking in the sunlight and in each other's company. Akira kicks sand at Ryuji's feet which led to him trying to push Akira into the waves, losing his balance, and falling into the ocean himself. After they both nearly cry with laughter, they both decided to take a break on a nearby bench.

"Man," Ryuji sighs, hair still wet with salt water. “Hawaii is nice as hell. Can’t find a beach like this in Japan, ya know?” Ryuji looks at the sunset in front of them wistfully. “Makes me wish my Ma could see it. She’s always wanted to visit warm places, but she’s always working, never got the time.” His eyes light up, “Maybe I could take a couple pictures! I bet she’d love that.”

“She would,” Akira agrees. In the few times he’s met Sakamoto-san, she’s a huge sentimental sweetheart who thinks the world of her son. “Want me to take some of you?”

Ryuji thinks about it. “How about let’s take one together? She’d be happy to have proof that I’m not just making shit up about having friends.”

“Sure thing.”

The two of them crowd around Ryuji’s phone, Akira smiling softly while Ryuji grins, throwing peace signs, snapping a photo, before pulling back again. “Aw, she’d love this!” He grins. “This ain’t actually half bad, either.”

“Send it to me,” Akira says, peering over his shoulder. “I’ve been needing a new background, anyway.”

Ryuji stares at Akira, ears red. “S-sure, dude.”

They watch the waves crash against the shore. "I can't believe today's our last day,” Ryuji sighs. “I feel like nothing even happened."

Akira hums, making mindless circles into the sand with the very tip of his toes. "Did you want something to happen?"

"I mean, nothing specific. All I know about Hawaii was that they had beaches and shit," he shifts slightly. "The one thing I actually wanted to happen was to hang out with you a whole bunch, and even then I feel like I didn't get that."

"Well, we're here now, aren't we?"

Ryuji looks up at Akira, and after a beat of silence, he laughs. "Yeah, I guess we are." He bumps shoulders with him, grinning. "Look at you, sayin' shit like that, thinking you're so cool."

"Oh, I am the coolest. Arguably, I'd say I'm the coolest guy around."

"Yeah, next to Mishima, maybe."

"You don't think I'm cool?"

"I didn't say that!"

"So you do think I'm cool?"

It might be the warm sun or the general heat of the island, but his face flushes a bright red. After a moment of spluttering, he mumbles, "I think you're cool as hell."

Akira blinks, completely caught off guard. He tries to say a joke, like hell can’t be cool, Ryuji, but his heart is hammering so hard that his body can’t seem to cooperate.

"Oh," Ryuji goes on, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I was looking through the gift shop for my Ma’s souvenir and I found something for you!"

He fishes out two small keychains; two flip flops, one left, one right. They're designed with a tacky Hawaiian print and coconuts all over. Ryuji hands one to Akira. "We could match, see?" He rubs the back of his neck again. "Thought it was neat cause if we both have one, it's like we're walking side by side! Or, you know, something like that." His flush deepens, spreading all the way down his neck and splitting his chest. "Or not, it's probably super lame and tacky, it only cost like, 4 dollars, which is like 40 yen, right? Anyway, my bad for ruining the mood—"

"I love it," Akira breathes.

Ryuji's eyes widen before he quickly turns away. "Cool, cool." He looks to the sunset, too overwhelmed to look at the boy next to him. "We should probably head back, yeah? Bet Yusuke and Ann are eating half the buffet by now."

Akira scoots closer, shoulder to shoulder with the boy beside him. "Then let them."

They sit there for a few more minutes, watching the sky slowly turn violet, matching keychains hanging loosely from their fingertips.

[xxemitsuxx]

You deserve better - a P5R bad end FF

hello it is I and this posts contains HEAVY SPOILERS FOR P5R READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Summary:  A God who wasn't unnecessarily cruel, who didn't make innocents suffer; a God who knew what humans felt through first hand experience, who knew loss and pain and only wanted the best for everyone. Did he really make the right choice? | How Akechi and Ren cope with the latter's decision of living in Maruki's perfect reality.

"Well, I have your answer."

**

When Ren opened his eyes, the first thing that hit him was confusion.

"What's wrong? You seem out of it." Ren blinked at the scene unfolding in front of him. All of his friends, chatting happily in Leblanc. He turned his head to stare at Sojiro. The man was looking at him in mild amusement as the question lingered between them. Huh...what?

"Where's Maruki?," he carefully asked, clenching and unclenching his fists. The answer that came was entirely unsatisfying.

"Who?"

So. Maruki had done it, hadn't he? It made sense, Ren had agreed to it. He still felt it was for the best... yes, it was. He hadn't known what to expect; maybe he thought Maruki would wipe his memory and overwrite his cognition like he had done with his friends. In fact, he was surprised he hadn't. Maybe it was too early, maybe...

The reality of the situation hit him as he watched his friends, his teammates, squabble with each other without a worry in the world.

They were all here. Morgana, Ryuji, Ann,S̸͕̼̱͕͋̓ͅu̵̳̯̥͙͉̙̾̋m̶̢̱̗͉̼͇̍͌̐̔̕i̸̠̒̅̒͜͝r̶̘̥̘̙̈́̐̉͒̔̕ḛ̷̯̫͇̫̌̏̇̃̑ Kasumi, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba, Haru and... Akechi.

Ren's gaze rested on Akechi and he felt his stomach turn.

"Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes."

He... he had to remember, too, didn't he?

"It says that's north-northwest of here, and a bit to the right, so... Roughly, that way."

Did he?

Ren kept close watch on Akechi and also his other friends during the party he had apparently planned for them, but he couldn't find any kind of abnormalities. They all seemed... happy. Not an unusual kind of fake happiness, but the normal kind.

This is what he had wanted for them, wasn't it?

The days passed like they were nothing. It was baffling. Every time he saw Futaba laugh with her mother, Ryuji bicker with his track teammates, Ann smile at Shiho, Morgana trailing close behind them with a blessed smile on his human lips, he felt like crying and he didn't know why. He was happy for them, so happy that they were happy, but there was this deep sorrow seated in his chest...

Did I really make the right choice?

The news barely reported anything bad happening anymore. Japan prospered, the people truly lived just the way they wanted, criminal rate broke down to a never seen before minimum as the world slowly melted into what God wanted it to. A God who wasn't unnecessarily cruel, didn't make innocents suffer; a God who knew what humans felt through first hand experience, who knew loss and pain and only wanted the best for everyone.

Did I really make the right choice?

He spent a lot of time with his friends, pushed down the suspicion that he only did it to distract himself and instead decided he did it to get an answer to the question plaguing him. Not that he could change anything if he got the false answer, not anymore.

"What's wrong, Ren?," Ann asked him one day as Shiho excused herself to go to the toilet. "You've been acting a little strange lately." Ren sheepishly dragged a hand through his hair, smiling slightly.

"Ah... sorry. I'm just a little restless in the last time." Ann laughed affectionly.

"I know how you feel! It's insane that Makoto and Haru are graduating soon, isn't it? Not seeing them at school anymore every day will be weird... But they'll be fine. I know it." Ren nodded slowly. "Yeah... me too." He said it with conviction, but for all the wrong reasons.

**

He obviously hadn't known Wakaba Isshiki in life, but in this reality, he did. The woman really was a lot like Futaba and it was hard not to like her. She was apparently fond of him as well and it felt so good to see Futaba smile without a worry in the world while nagging Wakaba to take them to Destinyland. She was so happy and he was so happy for her.

This must have been the right choice.

They also met up as a whole group a lot, apparently to not waste the precious time they had left before the third years went their own ways. Those outings were quite interesting to watch and also enjoyable to participate in, but he found himself staring at Akechi more than he wanted to. He couldn't shake the suspicion, as well as the incredible guilt nagging at his insides whenever he saw the detective laugh at something stupid Ryuji said in the same way he had once at Ren's words, in a way Ren had once thought genuine until finding out that all of it had been a lie. Was he being honest this time? He had to be, didn't he? Maruki had promised to make them all happy. Even if Akechi hadn't agreed with it, even if the the disappointed fury in his eyes as Ren had turned him down had almost consumed him..

He had to be certain.

"Hey, Akechi. Are you happy?" He asked this after having Akechi accompany him to get some drinks for the others. The brunet looked at him with an unreadable look in his eyes and for a moment Ren felt his heart drop; he remembers, he's acting, he's probably incredibly furious-

"Thats a weird question to ask. Are you okay, Ren?"

…

"... ah, sorry," he said after being dumbfounded for a moment. "Nevermind." The concern on Akechi's face looked genuine, but he couldn't be sure...

More days passed and Ren felt like he was going insane. Torn between guilt, uncertainty, the smiles of his friends and the shadows of a reality long passed, he felt like screaming, like punching something, like breaking down. He had never felt this way before and he couldn't help resent Maruki a little – hadn't he promised happiness? Why was he feeling this way? He wasn't happy, not even close to it.

Then suddenly, he was.

**

"Hey, Ren." Ren turned towards the voice and smiled when he recognized Akechi, excusing himself from his chat with Hanasaki and walking towards his friend. "Hey Akechi. What's up?" The other eyed him, also smiling a flawless smile.

Hm, weird. Why had he felt the need to point out that it was flawless...?

"Ah, you know. This and that. Preparing for graduation." Akechi laughed fondly. "It's been busy." His eyes met Ren's. "How have you been?" Ren tilted his head with a hum. To be honest, he felt the same as always; although lately, it seemed like Wakaba's food was even more delicious and the smiles of everyone a little more radiant, Morgana's hair a little nicer, Ryuji a little faster during his track runs.

"Really good, actually", he said, twirling a strand of hair on his finger. "Can't complain." Akechi nodded, still smiling. "You wanna come over to Leblanc and play some chess? We haven't done that in a while." Akechi stilled.

"Chess?"

"Hm?"

"Ah, I apologize. Of course. But not today. I have work to do." Ren laughed heartily, not noticing the way Akechi looked at him when he did.

"Of course you do. Good luck, detective." Akechi smiled so brightly it was blinding.

"Thank you, Ren." He waved as he turned. "Best of luck to you, too. You'll need it."

What a weirdo, Ren thought fondly as he turned back to Hanasaki without a care in the world.

**

A week later they stood in front of the school, ready to let a nice stranger take a picture of them. When said stranger walked away, Ren stared after him, feeling for the first time in his life like he was forgetting something important, but when he turned to his smiling friends, he quickly forgot about that, too.

**

After arriving home that day, the stranger from before was seated at one of the tabled in Leblanc. Ren didn't think it was strange that he was alone, Sojiro and Wakaba nowhere in sight.

"Oh, you're..." The man turned towards him, smiling.

"Hello there."

Ren bowed his head. "Thank you for earlier." A laugh.

"No problem. Could I have a house blend?" Ren nodded, stepping behind the counter to get to work. Silence unfolded and he found himself humming cheerily. He wasn't entirely sure why he was in such a good mood, but it didn't matter, did it?

"Hey, Amamiya-kun." Ren looked up and a distant part of him questioned why this total stranger knew his name, but somehow, it appeared right.

"Yes?"

"Are you happy?" That wasn't a question he had expected. Ren frowned in confusion and opened his mouth to answer, but in that moment words flooded into his mind, words from a distant memory which seemed far away and close at the same time:

"Hey Akechi, are you happy?"

He stopped in his tracks. Had he asked that? Why? The world spun and he felt hot and cold at the same time as if someone had ripped a curtain away which had been hanging in front of his eyes.

"Ah- I'm sorry Amamiya-kun- please, don't cry..." Ren suddenly felt incredibly disattached from reality, barely felt it when he raised his teary eyes towards the strange man and didn't realize his mouth was forming words foreign to him: "Maruki-sensei.." Distantly he wondered who Maruki was, but he could barely- he felt like he was forgetting something really important- "Maruki-sensei, I..."

"I'm sorry, Amamiya-kun," the man had gotten up to move in front of him; Ren's eyes saw the worry on his face but he couldn't comprehend anything-- "This... this is wrong..." What was wrong? "They're happy, but.." Who was happy? He was happy, wasn't he? Why was he saying these things? Was it even him saying them?

The man he didn't know looked at him with nothing but sympathy and pity in his eyes and put a hand on top of his head, "I'm so sorry.. I shouldn't have brought it up. I know how much you struggled with your choice so I tried to take at least your memories so you can live without the burden... there is something external which seems to shield you from me, I'm still trying to figure out what it is, I promise I'll do better soon." He sighed and the hand on top of his head moved affectionately. The gesture didn't reach Ren- or did it? He couldn't tell, he was so... so... "I owe you this much... If only I could help him like this, too..." Him?

"...Akechi," he heard himself say, and how did Akechi's name fit in here? "Does Akechi-"

"Pssh," the man interrupted him gently. "Don't think about it, Amamiya-kun. Your friend will be fine. You will be fine. Just leave it to me." Ren's eyelid fluttered and he thought how yes, it would be so nice to just leave his problems in the hands of another, because the feeling in his chest threatened to choke him without knowing why. Before he could properly think about how wrong that was, an all-consuming exhaustion overcame him and he closed his eyes to the soft humming of the stranger.

**

"Rennnn pleaaase~"

"Not a chance."

"Awww~" Ren snorted and gently pushed Futaba away after his sister-not-sister let herself fall against him when he once again denied her the money to try again for a Jack Frost figurine. They had been at this ever since the entire gang had met at the arcade in an attempt to relax during the Easter break.

"Just ask Wakaba-san for some more allowance."

"She'll never do that!"

"Maybe she would if you wouldn't waste all your money on video games."

"Shut it, Inari! At least I'm not broke like you!" Yusuke frowned."I am not broke."

"Ah yeah? Then how come you never tag along when we go out for lunch?"

"That's... I save the money sensei gifts me for more important things." Yusuke and Futaba kept bickering. Ren smiled fondly and let his gaze travel across the arcade. It was surprisingly empty; only they were there, as if the place had been booked for them alone. Ann and Ryuji were playing some shooter game together with Morgana cheering the former on, Makoto and Haru laughing while moving to Dance Dance Revolution, and Akechi...

Ren frowned. Where was Akechi?

"Is something wrong, senpai?" Ren looked at Kasumi; the younger girl had been laughing along with Futaba and Yusuke earlier, but was now looking at him with worry in her eyes.

"Ah, yeah. Kasumi, have you seen Akechi?" Kasumi frowned and tilted her head, thinking.

"Hm... He was talking to Morgana-senpai earlier about getting some fresh air, I think... So he should be outside?" Ren nodded, giving her a grateful smile before stepping outside with a quick excuse.

It wasn't unusual for Akechi to wander off on his own, but he had made a promise to beat the detective at Gun Online and he intended to keep that promise. Where could he have gone?

"Looking for someone?" Ren turned his head to find Akechi leaning against a wall in a narrow, easy to overlook alleyway. A soft smile rested on his face, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Nah," he responded while trailing towards him, "just some weird guy who's too scared to face me in a video game." Akechi scoffed and shook his head. When Ren got closer, he got a better look at his face; he was smiling as always, but... something felt off.

"Something wrong?"

Their eyes met and yes, he hadn't been mistaken; the other's face looked unusually empty. It didn't fit the boy at all- or wait... did it? It fit. But why? Akechi was pretty much always smiling, always looking out for Ren just as Ren looked out for him. They were-

"Your friend will be fine."

Ren felt his eyes widen, and after a moment, Akechi's empty, calculating expression melted into one of concern. "Ren, are you okay?"

"I-I..." Why had he just thought the sharp expression didn't fit Akechi? Why did the current concern, the soft eyes, feel so wrong? When their eyes met again, Ren suddenly felt as though he was drowning; air wouldn't come to him, he couldn't breath-

"I hate you."

"You're just some attic trash!"

" Let's make a deal."

He felt his eyes widen and he hadn't even noticed that he had crumbled to the floor, trying to gasp for air but not being able to move. What was...?

Usually, a friend of his or even a bystander would immediately worry, crouch down in front of him and ask him what's wrong. Akechi however stood still. Ren felt his eyes burn into his neck.

Then, "Hmph. You deserve this, you know." The other's voice was cold, colder than it had ever been before- or had it...? "Honestly, when I noticed that you're starting to forget I wanted to vomit. But looks like you're still struggling, so that's something. I could get used to that." His voice wasn't just cold now, it was seething with suppressed anger, and Ren couldn't- he didn't understand-

"That's enough, Akechi-kun. Can't you see he's in pain?" It took Ren all his will power to slowly raise his heavy head. It occurred to him that huh, since when where they in Leblanc, but the thought quickly faded away. Someone had manifested next to them out of thin air, and Akechi had jumped backwards, obviously startled. However, he quickly regained his composure and crossed his arms, glaring daggers at... „ "Maruki...sensei..." Ren again didn't recognize his own voice. The man he didn't know looked at him with a sad face and smiled fondly, before turning back to Akechi.

"...I can see that, thank you very much," the brunet spit out.

"Then why?" Akechi scoffed, directing his glare towards Ren. He flinched. "Why? Maybe I want to see him suffer. Suffer for choosing- whatever this is. Your stupid fucking puppet house realit-" Akechi stopped mid-sentence as he choked, hands flying to his throat in obvious panic. The strange man's eyes widened and he quickly shook his head. One of his hands was slightly raised. It dropped to his side.

"Oh, I- I apologize, Akechi-kun. I didn't mean to hurt you." He looked at Ren complementary, then he flicked his hand.

The world turned upside down and Ren felt himself crumble to the ground from his kneeling position. His eyes suddenly felt incredibly heavy so he closed them. Thinking became hard.

"What are you-"

"Don't worry. I'm simply putting him to sleep. He doesn't need to suffer because of our disagreements, does he?"

"Damn well he does!"

"Why are you so angry?" Another scoff.

"Ha! Are you seriously asking me that?" The voices were fading away...

"I'm sorry, Akechi-kun. I'm really trying to take the pain away from you, but it's proving to be challenging. The both of you are being shielded from my powers by... something. In Amamiya-kun's case I can still influence him to some degree, but because of your resistance I can't seem to-"

"Fuck off."

"- do anything. I'm really sorry, you'd be so much happier without..." The voice hesitated.

"Without what? Without my memories? My feelings? My free will? The things which make me who I am, which you are trying to TAKE AWAY from all of us?"

"No, that's-"

"I can't believe you. I can't understand how someone can be so disillusioned and in love with themselves that they think they can decide what's best for everyone. You make me sick to my core."

"Akechi-kun, please..." Footsteps passed by Ren.

So tired...

[spyder-m]

Love Games

ao3 / ff.net 

Summary:  On a particularly grueling trip through Mementos, the Phantom Thieves play a few rounds of "Never Have I Ever" to fend off boredom. In doing so, they learn more about their leader and advisor than they had anticipated. Shumako.

.

Ann's eyes carefully scanned the bleak expanse that was Mementos, low-level shadows scurrying away from the blare of headlights.

Blue irises strained as they adjusted to the darkness of the subway, not wanting the target to disappear from her sight.

"I spy with my little eye… something that's brown and grey-"

"Railroad tracks," Futaba answered, not even bothering to look up from her laptop.

"Wow, Oracle. You got it on the first try! How did you know?"

"Are you for real?!" Ryuji exclaimed; the outburst startling a quietly sketching Yusuke beside him. "There's only like three things down here you coulda possibly been lookin' at. Urgh! This game sucks!

Delving this far into the depths made for a long and arduous trip.

Though Morgana's bus form was fairly spacious, with the seven of them packed in together; and a lack of proper air-conditioning; it was becoming a little stifling.

Some of the more fiery members of the group were beginning to get on each other's nerves.

Beyond the occasional pit-stop to stretch their legs, fighting off shadows and scouring out the different nooks of Mementos for treasures or potential targets, served as their only reprieve.

Even Makoto couldn't find too much of a distraction in the drive. Each level was beginning to look eerily similar, and Futaba's persona could usually map out a clear path through to the next exit. Save for swerving to avoid the odd shadow, it didn't require much concentration. Her muscles were already settling unconsciously into a rhythm.

Still, she had been able to find comfort in the silent form of Joker beside her. It was remarkable how well he could read her and ease the tension she felt with a gentle smile or supporting touch of his hand. The calm washing over her like a healing spell.

He was measured in the affectionate gestures, not wanting to attract the attention of their passengers; currently seeking out other ways to pass the time.

"Alright, fine. Let's hear you suggest something then, Skull." Ann huffed, her eyes narrowing as she folded her arms.

Blinking, the blond scratched his head in thought; not having expected her to turn to him for a suggestion.

"Well, uh... there's that game Westerners always play in movies." He offered. "Y'know, the one where they hold up their fingers and say something they've never done before."

"Isn't that a drinking game?" Makoto's glare lifted, catching the others in the rear-view mirror. "I'll remind you we're all underage and in a car."

"It don't have to be." Ryuji waved his arms, not wanting to incur the wrath of the team's advisor. "Come on! It'll be fun!"

Despite some initial skepticism, the crew supposed that Ryuji's suggestion might not actually be such a bad idea.

The founding members of the Phantom Thieves had been together for several months now and felt pretty tightly knit. The exposure to one another's pasts, their most guarded secrets and inner selves only helped to shift their relationship towards something much more intimate.

Still, between time in the Metaverse, strategy meetings, studying for exams, and part-time jobs, they didn't get many opportunities to spend time together as friends.

They were still a lot of things they didn't know about each other as people.

Haru was their newest member and didn't seem to have many friends outside of their immediate circle. Futaba was still coming out of her shell and sharing secrets among friends could help to continue building her social skills. Yusuke… Well, Yusuke was an enigma. For as long as they'd known him, there was still a lot they hadn't quite figured out.

Even Makoto; though having acclimated well with the team and into her advisory role; was still striving to more learn about her peers.

These were the kind of games kids their age would normally play at parties; a luxury their unique extra-curricular activities as the Phantom Thieves often deprived them of.

It could be a great opportunity for them to get to know each other better.

"Ooo, I'll start!" Futaba called, her hand shooting up. "Never have I ever… gone on a trip to Hawaii!"

"Wha- Oracle! That's not fair!"

"Mwehehehe…" The youngest member cackled. "Well, I had to get one up on you guys. Never underestimate the original Medjed."

"Well, alright. That's one finger down for... Everyone except Oracle. Alright, Noir. It's your turn."

"Oh. Well, let me see." Haru pondered. "Never have I ever... Tried the 6,000 yen Dark Ivory coffee at the Wilton Hotel."

The engine rumbled amidst the dip in conversation, the teens looking between one another with blank expressions.

"Uh, Noir?" Ann eventually broke the silence. "Clearly none of us have done that before. Now you have to lower a finger. You're supposed try to try and get us out."

"Oh, I could never do that. You're all my friends."

"But that's the point of the game!" Ryuji's voice rose again. "You're gonna lose at this rate!"

"Moving on." Ren interrupted, his lips sliding into a smirk. "Never have I ever eaten so much fatty tuna that I made myself sick."

"What?!" The Mona-bus vibrated as an indignant mewl reverberated throughout. "Why are you singling me out, Joker? I'm not playing. I don't even have fingers!"

"We can keep track. That's one down for Mona."

"Hmph. Fine, but I'm going next."

"Whatever. Do your worst."

"Never have I ever… called a Maid Service before."

"You damn cat!" Ryuji exclaimed, thumping the side of the car. "I thought we agreed to keep quiet about that."

"You called a Maid Service?" Ann side-eyed Ryuji, a shudder crawling up the base of his spine.

"Well, uh…" Anxious, Ryuji glance darted around the inside of the car, desperate for a lifeline. "Hey! I- I'm not the only one who's guilty here. Right, leader?"

Swallowing, Ren begrudgingly lowered a finger.

"What?!"

"A maid's services? Hmm, how fascinating. I wonder if they would be willing to serve as the model for my next piece?"

"Dude, it's 5,000 yen a visit. Like you'd be able to afford that."

"Also, I thought you agreed; no more nude paintings!"

"Anyway! Uh… Panther; you're up next."

"Oh, me? Hm, well... Never have I ever… dated before."

To the surprise of no one in the group, Ryuji, Yusuke, and Futaba each kept the fingers up, while Haru lowered a finger. However, given the circumstances surrounding her and her fiancé, the Thieves were happy not to ask for any more details. What piqued their curiosity more so, was when Makoto and Ren both each lowered a finger.

"Wait… What?!"

"Dude! You mean you were out scorin' hotties and didn't think to tell me?!"

"Well, Joker has had an entire life outside of Tokyo that we are not privy to…"

"Plus, his charm stats are like… maxed out."

"Right. Still, I really wasn't expecting that from you, Queen."

"W- well, there is someone… That I'm seeing."

The car jolted, almost swerving off of the tracks and into the station's wall, as Ann pulled herself over the front seat.

"What?!"

"Panther, please! Stay in your seat."

"Oops. Sorry!" Ann flushed, returning to her spot in the middle row. "I just can't believe you'd keep something like that from me."

"W- well, we both agreed to keep things... discreet."

"Perhaps we should move on from this topic for the time being," Yusuke suggested. "It seems to be getting Panther rather excited."

"Right." Joker nodded. "Well, Queen; it's your turn."

Makoto paused, one hand slipping from the steering wheel to touch her chin.

There was much she had not experienced before finding the Phantom Thieves, things that many would see as a normal part of life for a typical, Japanese teenager. If she were being tactical, there were likely several answers she could give that would get most of the others out.

Still, recently she had been fortunate to gain friends who brought more of simple pleasures into her life. In particular, it was thanks to the young man seated across from her that she had been able to broaden her horizons.

Though, thinking on it; as she caught Joker in her peripheral vision; Makoto realised, with a flush, there were still things she wished to learn.

"Never have I ever... kissed someone before."

"Woah, woah, wait a minute." Ryuji interjected. "You're with a guy but you haven't even swapped spit yet?"

"Skull." Ann sighed, her nose wrinkling at the boy's crude description.

"N- no, it's fine, really." Makoto countered, lifting her hands from the wheel briefly. "It's all still very new to me. I think he's just been holding back on my account. I just wish there was a way I could let him know that I want it as much as I think he does."

"Aw, don't worry, Queen!" Futaba encouraged. "I'm sure he'll come to his senses."

"Yeah! Any guy would be lucky to be with you."

"Anyway, looks like Joker and Noir are the only ones who lowered their fingers. No surprises there."

"Actually," Joker cleared his throat, and raised his hand, showing that his total was still at seven.

"Okay, now I'm confused."

"What else is new?"

A pained meow rang from the car as Ryuji's bat struck the inside wall.

Makoto flushed as she felt Joker's gaze cover her; the stark white of his mask accentuating his eyes, drawing her to them. She bit her lip, readjusting her grip on the steering wheel.

"I suppose you could say I was... holding back."

"I- is that, so?" Makoto answered, trying to keep her eyes focused ahead, away from Ren's longing stare.

She had hoped that in keeping her answers curt and concentrating on the road ahead the conversation would shift, the rest of the Thieves carrying on with their game. Yet, their interest had seemingly turned towards their leader, as he watched her with a fond smile.

"Queen, pull over here." Joker instructed abruptly; his tone sharp.

Makoto slowed the vehicle to stop, suspecting that Joker had spotted a target.

She immediately ripped off her seatbelt and moved to open the door, more than willing to steer the focus away from their conversation.

However, at the flash of red covering her own gloved hand and ceasing her movement, she turned, catching Joker's mask with a puzzled expression.

Having readied herself for battle, Makoto's normally sharp reflexes had been prepared to react the moment something grasped at her. Though, her guard slipped as Joker's fingers caught her the jaw.

Their masks clinked together as he pulled her face towards his own; the breath that ripped involuntarily from her throat was caught by the soft pressure of his lips.

Her first kiss.

The scent of coffee still lingered on his breath, likely remnants from his breakfast at Leblanc. The bitter taste warmed her chest, striking and familiar.

Now unimpeded by her seatbelt, Makoto fell deeper into Ren's embrace, her hands lifting to catch in the thick clumps of his hair.

It was surprisingly soft.

Spurred on by the sensation of Makoto kissing back, Ren trailed his hands down to the swell of her hips, appreciating how her suit clung to them. Makoto's eyes bulged in surprise as she was pulled into Joker's lap, though she didn't break from his lips, her arms surrounding him.

With that daring gesture, it struck her that she was sharing her first kiss not with Ren, but Joker; an experience distinct from what she had anticipated. It hadn't been a shy, chaste caress that had caught her; a moment their relationship had steadily being building towards; but something bolder, more extravagant.

The gesture, in a sense, reflected how they had entered each other's lives, how they had awoken to their true selves in the Metaverse; abruptly and explosively. How everything strange and otherworldly suddenly began to make sense, as if it had been there, waiting, all along.

There was something captivating about the suave, cocky persona Ren assumed in the Metaverse. Seeing those soft, shy smiles of his break into confident grins; his dark, mysterious eyes, shining and proud. The way he remained strong and collected for the rest of his team, even during their most tense battles.

That he was forward enough to make the first move; where in the real world he may have hesitated; closing the distance between them like this, his lips flickering into a familiar smirk as they caressed against her own.

It was... sexy.

The magic dissipated as Makoto became conscious of the eyes boring into her, sliding up her spine like cold digits as she recalled, abruptly, that they weren't alone. Gasping, Makoto slipped from Joker's arms, glancing mortified, towards their friends.

Ann's hands had lifted to cover her mouth, barely containing the bright smile lighting her features. There was a sheen in her wide, starry eyes. Haru had moved up beside her, hands similarly cradled together.

"Oh, how romantic."

With a smirk, Futaba had, reflexively, pulled out her smartphone; a pout settling across her features when she remembered the camera function was useless in the Metaverse.

Beside her, Yusuke was rifling through the back of the car, eventually producing a canvas and a selection of brushes, frantically setting them up.

"You two, hold your positions! I must capture this!"

"Inari!? When did you bring that with you? And also, why?"

Ryuji watched on in curious silence, his brow furrowed as he scratched the back of his head.

"Huh? Skull? What's up?"

"So, like... Do they have to drop a finger now, or what?"

[ryntaia]

You really should write about Yusuke picking up Futaba in Yongen-Jaya and taking (carrying? dragging?) her all the way to Shibuya. Cause I would read the hell outta that. 8D

Okay I have been meaning to get on this one for the LONGEST time so I absolutely had to get this one slammed out once I got my computer back. It’s time for Yusuke Rank 10ing the fuck out of Futaba before the player can even give it a shot. Out fuckin’ done. 

           She was not the rambunctious and argumentative girl from a mere week ago.

           Yusuke could slightly understand it. They had spent only a week trying to accumulate a years long shut-in to her greatest fear: the world outside her room, and the people that occupied it. Even then they could only really say they had made mild process with Futaba Sakura. She was still jumpy, scared, and uncomfortable around strangers and large groups in particular. But they needed her at the hideout. Within a mere day she had become what was easily their greatest resource as Phantom Thieves. Besides, she deserved to be part of their group with the efforts she had put forward. Sooner or later, she would have to be brought out to Shibuya.

           Busy, clustered Shibuya.

           And Yusuke Kitagawa didn’t have a car or the money for a taxi.

           In retrospect it had probably been a misguided idea to pick the hacker up and bring her through the train line from Yongen-Jaya to Shibuya, but Yusuke had let out earlier than them and he had figured that she needed to be at the meeting. Now he was regretting it greatly as people whispered around the redhead girl, her face buried in her knees and her back curled into the fetal position against one of the walls of the train. Futaba’s breath came in sharp, jerky huffs. She wasn’t even getting that much room—only the amount that the jammed train would allow as it sped across the tracks.

           This was a mistake. Yusuke’s mind echoed desperately while he tried to keep a straight face. He scanned the train quickly; nothing but staring faces and pointing fingers. It was enough for someone WITHOUT a fear of crowds to have a nervous breakdown. For the girl shivering in the corner, who had seemed so wild and self assured previously, it was likely akin to a complete barrage on her senses.

           He kneeled down next to the redhead; she was so small that he easily shadowed her. Her whole body flinched, registering the changing in light through her fingers. Delicately, uncertainly, slowly, Yusuke reached out and grasped at the headphones slung around her neck. He pushed them over her head and across her ears. Such large earpieces would easily muffle the discussion being thrown around about the girl shaking on the floor. Her fingers drew away from her face slightly; her eyes blinked blearily as they cleared of tears and adjusted to the new light. Slowly Futaba registered the strands of red that had tangled in her hands and the lines across her hand, then looked up.

           Immediately she looked back down.

           Yusuke bit his lip. He had been told before by other students—girls, mostly—that the expression that he usually wore could be a bit intimidating. Taking one hand away from the earphone, he rubbed his own cheeks, as if it would loosen his stern face up a little bit and bring the redhead back into reality. Pinching his own cheek, he pushed fingers underneath Futaba’s chin and lifted her face. The action was met with surprisingly little resistance.

           For a moment she stared. Then, almost without her permission, a small giggle spilled out of Futaba’s lips. It seemed mismatched with her tear streaked, red face but it was very welcomed at the moment. One of her fingers lifted from her knees to take the cheek that Yusuke wasn’t pinching. Lightly, almost teasingly, she pulled at it herself—the artist unconsciously found his eyes softening and a small smile teasing at the side of his lips. She laughed again.

           “Inari has really stiff cheeks.” She commented. One of his eyebrows cocked in irritation but the smile stayed plastered on his face.

           “I told you not to call me that, brat.”

           “Inari, Inari, Inari. No one tells Futaba Sakura what to do.” She was staring pointedly at Yusuke’s stomach—the one place where she could see the least amount of the people behind him. Her tone was defiant but her eyes were still wide with obvious fear. The artist released his own cheek, his hand moving almost on its own to curve around the hacker’s head. He kept his arm at a safe distance while laying firm fingers on the back of her hair to push her head down lightly.

           She blinked in confusion, trying to process everything.

           His mouth was close by her forehead, breath hot on her skin.

           The hand once on her chin was now on the side of her earphone, holding it firmly in place.

           “Do not listen to their words, concentrate on the silence of your earphones. Do not focus on them, focus on me. We don’t get along and I’m not sure if we ever will if you keep calling me INARI…” Futaba stifled another giggle. “…but you know me. Now all I ask is that you focus on me and don’t let them decide on what you do and what you are. You say no one tells Futaba Sakura what to do? I’d say from your sharp tongue and defense of your belonging, that’s true. So don’t let them tell you what to do. After all, why should someone who doesn’t even know you be allowed to have power over you when even I certainly don’t have that power?”

           “My power.” Futaba mumbled quietly, staring down at the white fabric on Yusuke’s school uniform. It looked like a comfortable silk—he went to Kosei, she remembered. Kosei was a special prep school. She really was just trying to think about anything but her situation. And surprisingly, it was working. They didn’t affect her, those people…they didn’t have power over her.

           The train seemed to come to a steady halt right as she was beginning to drift off, enveloped with an unusual and foreign feeling of comfort. Immediately she snapped to attention as the train occupants filed quickly out of the train car into Shibuya Station. Their interest in the girl huddled awkwardly in the corner seemed to wane as soon as they were alert to their schedules again. Quickly the train car emptied as Futaba was brought back to her feet by balancing on Yusuke’s arm. In retrospect she would repaint the scene with her knees not shaking awkwardly as she was led into the station with the large crowd.

           “Would you like to clean up your face before we go meet with everyone?” Yusuke asked quietly, almost sympathetically. Futaba brushed a hand across her face—she could feel the salty lines on her cheek cutting through reddened skin. All she could give was a lame nod as she was led over to a fountain to have her glasses plucked from her face. Yusuke pulled out a pair of small towels from the art kit at his side and Futaba raised a brow.

           “For cleanup after painting.” He explained, wetting the surface lightly and patting the girl’s face. She made a face as the rough surface ran across the sensitive skin, but it took the salty lines away with it. Before she could even touch her face, it was squirted with a burst from the fountain directed by the artist’s thumb followed by a fluffing with the second towel. “You’re lucky I just bought these. Normally they’d be covered with old paint.”

           Futaba was quiet as her face was toweled off, the heat of the train car fading from her face along with the blemished red of the tears. Her glasses were popped back onto her face as soon as the dry towel pulled away; she shifted the bridge of her nose to adjust them over her brown eyes. Her vision took a few moments to focus, finally adjusting in on the image of Yusuke folding up the towels and placing them carefully back in the bag at his side. She shifted her backpack up her back self-consciously.

           “Hey, Ina…Yusuke?”

           “Mmh? You’re going to be calling me by my name from now on?” Yusuke turned to the hacker with a smile on his face. And god did the sincerity in that smile almost kill Futaba right there and then. It took all of her willpower to not slap her hands over her mouth and run like a madwoman. But no. She couldn’t just turn tail and run from him—from the Phantom Thieves. Not after what they had done for her.

           “D…dream on.” She huffed, pulling out the wrinkles in her shirt and taking a more frustrated tone to cover up how exhilarated and happy he was making her feel. “You’ll always be Inari to me. But! But.”

           “But?”

           “…Thanks, Yusuke.”

           He stared blankly for a moment, then his expression melted into the most sincere smile that Futaba had yet to see from him. And along with it, it felt like her own insides melted with it as the tall boy offered his hand out to the hacker. “I think we should get going. Everyone is going to be waiting for us, aren’t they? Their little Alibaba, was it?”

           “I was thinking more like Oracle.” Futaba wagged her finger in his face. “But hey, they’ll be waiting for their Inari too.”

           “That’s Fox to you.”

           “I’m sure.” She gave an exaggerated wink, slowly regaining her composure as they waded through the crowds of Shibuya Station—all of them now feeling so invisible and inconsequential. “Inari.”

[cant-icle]

aftermath: scrapped ryuji chapter

i really  really liked this when i wrote it, but then i realized that it’d work so much better at a later point in the story ;;

i refused to delete it though; i hella want to share it because i still like it

if you haven’t read aftermath yet and have an interest in it, read it here!

Ryuji’s the first to admit he’s not the most observant person in Tokyo, but even he can tell something’s off the second he steps into Leblanc.

He’s not the first one there, but Futaba barely counts; she lives just across the street and practically lives at the counter now, kicking her toes against the bar and  inhaling curry like it’s going out of style. Boss doesn’t count either, standing behind the counter brewing coffee. He shoots Ryuji a glance as the door opens. “Just you?”

Ryuji shrugs. “Ann stopped to buy crepes. Yusuke’s probably with her. Makoto and Haru’ll be here any minute; said we should stagger how quick we get here.” He hesitates, looking around the empty café. “Is, uh—“

“Upstairs. Probably best that it’s just you for now.” Boss sets a steaming mug in front of Futaba, who draws it inward with a frown. She won’t look up at Ryuji either, which sets off an uneasy tingle in the back of his mind.

The mood is somber where it should be triumphant. Hell, Akira should be down here already, draped over a booth with that dumb cocky smile of his.

After all, they won, didn’t they?

“Uh, alright,” he mumbles, slipping past Futaba with a gentle tug on her hair. She doesn’t even yelp, just reaches behind herself to slap at his hand.

The trip up the stairs is second nature by now; Ryuji’s up them in a heartbeat, ready to call out his usual “Yo!” when he realizes the room is dark and quiet, curtains drawn. Morgana is perched on the windowsill; the second Ryuji’s foot hits the attic floor he hisses “Keep it down, moron!”

“The hell are you callin’ a moron?” Ryuji snaps back, the hair on the back of his neck prickling uncomfortably. “Why’s it so dark? Feels like a morgue in here…”

“He’s sleeping!” Morgana’s bristling too, the fur at the nape of his neck rising as he jumps down, trotting across the floor only to stand up and sheath his claws in Ryuji’s pants. “Shut your big noisy mouth for once!”

It’s rude to kick cats, even annoying extra-dimensional not-cats, so Ryuji restrains himself to a muttered curse. “Why’s he sleepin’? It’s like, three in the afternoon?”

“Long night,” Akira croaks from the futon, making the both of them jump.

Morgana’s away in a flash, bounding away from Ryuji and onto the bed, winding around what Ryuji’d thought was just blankets. “You should be resting,” he scolds as Ryuji makes his way uneasily across the room. “What did Takemi-san say?”

“Why was your creepy doctor lady sayin’ anything?” Ryuji asks, feeling his brow furrow as Akira sits up really weirdly. It’s like someone’s yanking him up by a string—he holds his torso super stiff, every movement calculated and tense, and he’s wearing a hoodie in bed. “What’s goin’ on?”

“Everything’s fine,” Akira says, swinging his legs off the side of the futon with that same weird, stiff motion. He meets Ryuji’s eyes and grins, but something about that’s off too. Something tugs weirdly at the side of his mouth. “I was at the police station for a lot longer than I wanted to be; I didn’t get home until late.”

“Yeah, okay, but you’re also bullshitting me over something,” Ryuji says dubiously, bending down to look into his eyes more closely. There’s somethin’ weird about ‘em, watching the way they move around. “You think Akechi shooting your cognitive self screwed something up?”

Akira shakes his head, slow and deliberate. “Shouldn’t have. Everything went according to plan.”

He sounds winded, like he’s been running for half an hour, not lying in bed. When he reaches up to push his glasses up his nose, the cuff of his sleeve rides up his arm, exposing a neon-green bandage wrapping around his wrist.

Ryuji’s breath catches in his throat. When he flicks his eyes over to where Morgana sits, Morgana’s staring too, like some sorta mother hen.

He doesn’t know what to say, what to ask, what to do. None of their hurts linger long once they come out of the Metaverse, between the healing spells and the weird medicines Akira brings around for them, and even with that battle royale in the casino Akira hadn’t been nearly this beat up.

Whatever this is, whatever’s making him all stiff and breathless, that happened in the real world.

“Is anyone else here yet?” Akira asks casually, like nothing’s wrong. Ryuji swallows and shakes his head. “Good. I’m going to get dressed. You can wait for me downstairs, if you want.”

“You ain’t got nothing I haven’t seen before,” Ryuji says before he can think about it, crossing over to throw himself down onto the dusty old sofa. “Go ahead. I’ll tell you what went down after we separated.”

He thinks he sees a flicker of resignation in Akira’s eyes before he pretends to busy himself with his phone. “Go on, then.”

“Well…” Ryuji’s explanation is long and meandering, his eyes fixed firmly on his screen as he listens to Akira shuffle around behind him. Normally he moves like a cat, all easy grace and silent footsteps, but today he lumbers, drags his feet, his steps hitching and uneven. He makes a noise barely louder than a grunt at one point, just loud enough to make Ryuji glance over.

“Holy fucking shit,” he says, and drops his phone with a clatter.

“Not so loud,” Akira mutters with a long-suffering sigh, but the damage is done; Ryuji’s already across the room at his side, staring at the bruising on his thigh in horror. He’s seen shit like this before; a kid on the track team fell in the middle of a race and got trampled by half the guys during his second or third meet, and everyone got to gather around and stare at the bruising. It was gross-looking, like the bruises on an overripe banana, dark and rotten.

This is worse.

Akira’s not even putting any weight on it when he doesn’t have to, that’s why he’s been sounding so stumpy. He’s holding the pajama pants he was wearing in a white-knuckled grip. “Dude,” Ryuji says in horrified awe. “Akira. Sit down before you fall down.”

His mouth turns down at the corners, all stubborn and stupid. “I’m fi—“

“If you try and finish that sentence I’m gonna poke that bruise and then drag you back to bed,” Ryuji warns, plucking the pjs out of his hands and tossing them onto the sofa. It’s a little weird to be standing here with Akira just in his boxers, but that’s not really the biggest concern right now. “Are you—you said something about your doctor—dude, just, c’mere already, jeez—“

He ducks under Akira’s arm right before Akira wobbles, steadying him. “I said sit down! You shouldn’t even be standing on that.”

“So I’ve heard.” His voice is tense; Ryuji can clearly hear the pained breathing, up this close against him. “It’s not that bad.”

Ryuji rolls his eyes so hard he feels like they might fall out of his head, manhandling Akira back to the futon as gently as he can. “Last time I saw a bruise like this, the guy wasn’t out of bed for like a week and a half, and after that he was on crutches.”

He’s aware of the implications of a bruise like this. He doesn’t wanna think about it; it’s already making anger simmer slow and deadly in the pit of his stomach. The thought of Akira getting pummeled by those police bastards—

“Ryuji, stop squeezing,” Akira murmurs, his hand resting on Ryuji’s bicep. He loosens his grasp immediately, face flaming, but Akira doesn’t push him away. “It’s been looked at. Everything’s fine. I didn’t want you to see, that’s all.”

Ryuji doesn’t have words for that. He wants to yell, wants to curse and throw things and maybe kick someone, but none of that would help. None of that does anything for Akira, sitting here looking up at Ryuji with that stupid wry twist to his stupid self-sacrificing mouth. “Eff that,” he settles on saying, taking Akira’s hand in his and nudging up the sleeves to look at the bandages around his wrists. “If I saw something, you can bet everyone else’ll notice too.”

“Not if you help me get down there and settled before they get here.”

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen Rambles About Persona 5

AKA Allen’s Ramblings XVI, but... well, you guys know by now how I do things when tagging fandoms and everything. Anyway, I’ve played about 30 hours of Persona 5 and wanted to give my thoughts so far.

Now, I have been waiting to get my hands on Persona 5 for years. This game was suppose to come out years ago and we in the States finally have it. I gotta’ say, I was salivating when my preorder came in on time for once. The artbook, the CD, the Morgana Plushie, it just felt so unreal to have it all in my hands... but enough gushing and onto my thoughts. I’ll try to keep spoilers vague, but keep in might I’m at the third main dungeon by now. I know the Persona series is really big on not spoiling story-related matters, so I’ll be polite and tried my best to keep things general. Like when I talked about Tales of Berseria I’ll be breaking this down into the good points and not so good points, but first I need to talk about...

The Aesthetics

Oh Lord the aesthetics of this game. The cell-shaping, the red motif, the slickness of movement, the music. Everything just feels so smooth. Hell, this is gonna’ be a new tag for the blog now these are aesthetics are so good. I can’t just stick this one category and call it done, I need give this its own header to break down all I love about how this game looks and feels.

Relateable Topics

I have to say, I’m surprise how much I connected with a lot of the events happening in the game. This isn’t a story about accepting death, this isn’t a story about solving a murder, this is a story about kids trying to fix what they believe is a broken, corrupt world, and dammit you can just relate to that. Before you even begin the game it tells you none of the events in it are related to real life or real people, but Atlus is lying through their goddamn teeth if they think I couldn’t see this stuff happening for real if it hasn’t already. I won’t say what exactly happens, but every scandal that’s uncovered, every problem that’s seen, every case that’s been discussed in this game you can actually see happening in real life. Hell, I’m sure you could look online and see some articles talking about this stuff even here in the US. I won’t spoil anything yet, but... just trust me on this on.

Character Designs

The character designs look fantastic. I love everyone so far in both casual and Phantom Thief attire, with Ryuji and Morgana having my favorite designs. And I have to say, I’m rather surprised how much I like these two specifically, but I’ll get more into that later. Despite having a large amount of black for most characters, the designs really pop out. I’d say that’s due to a lot of the backgrounds being brightly colored, but still. I can’t wait to see other party members and how they look in game. The art book only does so much.

The Artbook

Not much to say here save for making a pun. The Aesthetics art book is... just a really good artbook with a lot of sketches, concept designs, and references in it. It’ll totally help for if I want to do fan art of these characters. And unlike SOME GAMES *cough*trailsofsteel*cough* this game doesn’t have blatant spoilers in their artbook and interviews. So yeah, points for the artbook, real nice.

THE MUSIC

I. Love. This. Soundtrack. I’m not music elitist, but the one thing that just makes me go nuts for any song is solid, audible bass, jazz, and brass. It’s why Persona has always had good music to me, and this entire soundtrack just hits every note in just the right way. This soundtrack is so good I could just... just... [RETRACTED] all over these songs. My favorites so far as Last Surprise, Layer Cake, and Rivers in the Desert... not that I’m far enough in the game to hear that last one, but... y’know.

Okay, so that’s it for the aesthetic, now onto the good points about the game as a whole.

The Good

The Intro

Thankfully, the intro of this game is not hours of hand-holding like in Persona 4. You are right into the action, and even after the intro stuff you still get a bit of freedom to move a little. I think only after a second play-through will tell how long your hand is held and how much freedom you truly have in the beginning, but for now I say this is leagues better than P4.

The Voice Cast

I haven’t heard the Japanese dub since I’ve always been dubs-over-subs, but the voice cast in English sounds great so far. My favorite so far has actually been Morgana and Ryuji, characters I didn’t think I’d like as much as I do right now. Ryuji is just the right mix punk kid and emotional softy that makes me really warm up to him, and Morgana’s cute, but confident sounding voice goes well with her personality. Major props to Cassandra Morris for voicing her. Wait a second... didn’t she do Asahina in Dangan Ronpa? No wonder I like her performance. And special shout out to Jamieson Price as Sojiro. I may not have gotten to hear him as Tager in BBCF, but at least I have hear him in this game. And while I’m talking about the voice cast I must admit that I have mixed feelings about Igor’s voice actor, I know why his voice was changed, but... I still prefer Dan Woren. Hopefully I’ll just get use to it.

Smoother/Faster Combat

The combat has definitely improved in both animations and overall feel. On the fly Persona swapping, lightning-fast menus, flashy as hell attack animations, this game has really improved in terms of quality with it’s combat. As someone playing this game since P3, the combat in that game was fine for turn based, but with this game I’m going to have some higher exceptions for future Turn Based RPG games, and the next SMT game especially in terms how combat feels.

Improved Social Links

The Confidant system is sooo much better than the other two games. Non-Party member social links finally have a higher purpose than just giving you better Personas during fusions. It feels so good to know that my allies don’t just help me with my fusions, but in the actual story as well. From selling you health items and weapons, increasing non-active party members EXP growth, improving the Phantom Thieves PR (and making dungeons easier to traverse through), and so on. It really feels like every person gives me an edge as a rebel of society. And the stories they’re telling so far have me interested. Again, spoilers, so I won’t go into detail, but just trust me on this one.

The Not So Good

Like with my Tales of Beresia Rambling, there are still some issues/critiques I have of this game as a fan. Again, I’ve played Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona 4 Arena, Ultimax, and small handful of SMT games outside of the Persona series so these might just be nitpicks, but I still think they’re worth saying. And for the folks that have seen my Berseria rambling, these points are going to be much longer and more in depth by comparison. So... let’s get started with that.

Demon conversations are still hit-or-miss with me. I like the idea of convince my enemies to my side, when it comes to fusing and hunting for the right Persona in those dungeons it can be a huge pain.

Money management is still balls hard in this game. I’d recommend demanding money every chance it comes along if you already have that particular persona and you don’t need the extra EXP. Trust me, it’ll disappear in a flash.

The early game is brutal. Story dungeon take longer that in past games, and with the small SP pool you have it’s gonna’ take several days to beat it. If you’re struggling through the first non-scripted major boss and even the boss of the dungeon, that’s normal as far as I’m concerned.

Social stats are back and they’re as annoying as ever. It was fine in P3 because their were just three and only effect you near mid/late-game. It was annoying in Persona 4 because they controlled not only social links, but better paying jobs as well (and again, money management is balls hard), as well as prevent certain dialogue options (which SUCKED). And again in this game certain dialogue options can’t be chosen if you don’t have the right stat level. This starts happening in the early game when all your stats are low, practically taunting you about your low level. That’s drives me up a goddamn wall. It doesn’t help that it took me until the second dungeon fully grasp which places upped which state and how. It took 15 hours to realize this shit... goddamn...

After playing Devil Survivor 2, seeing physical attacks that cast from HP for you not apply to your opponent annoys me to no end. This makes physical enemies very unfair and it’s part of what makes the early game so hellish. Those guys take out half your health and are still good to spam that crap.

The dungeons are a daytime option only, and that’s something that’s annoyed me since playing Persona 4. Persona 3 had this done best by having the dungeons at nighttime access, making balancing social life, grinding social stats, and grinding levels so much easier. I was hoping that’d be the case in P5 since “student by day, thief by night” was the tagline, but apparent it should be changed to “student by day, thief by the afternoon, too tired to grind social stats by night.”

As of the third dungeon, I feel like the game is really pushing me to clear the Palaces when I’m not prepared to. All my party members keep pushing me to hurry and clear them, and while that makes since in the story, it makes doing the actual prep work really hard. Also, the third dungeon/arc feels really hand-holding until the dungeon unlocked, which annoyed me a little.

Though not directly effecting the game, the whole Atlus-Streaming thing just... leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’s a shame that those without access to the right system can’t enjoy the game with their favorite streamers/let’s players.

Yusuke’s inclusion and joining the party could had been written better, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter since I’m trying not to spoil the game past the first dungeon. Message me if you want the details.

The localization is... not good. I’m seeing a lot of “Mr., Mrs., and Miss” thrown in along with Japanese honorifics and it’s a bit emersion-breaking. A lot of the pronunciations could had been done better too. I still stand by the voice acting being good, but the directing and instructions feel a little... off. Maybe that’s because the game is based in Tokyo, which might be a little more culturally mixed, but compared to the other two games this feels messy.

A real minor nitpick, but I still have mixed feelings about the dungeon lair/prison theme of the new Velvet Room. I mean I get it, but it feels a little forced and heavy-handed to me.

So yeah, a few nitpicks aside, I’ve really been enjoying this game. If anyone has any advice for getting through the rest of the game or just some tips in general that don’t spoil the game too much please reblog and add them here. Personally, I’d wait for a guide to social linking and stat grinding before getting this game, but as a Persona fan, I say this game is good so far. Hopefully it gets better as I continue to play it.