#just saw a post abt it being ‘fucked up’ to age up a character

[stupidlittlespirit]

I fear many of the younger people on the internet today (tumblr especially) would have an apoplectic fit if they read the fics that were being published in the 2010s era. They would simply not survive.

[liedownquisition]

I'm so tired.

Bonus meme under cut:

This is both for him in general (or at least the fanon version dominating fics) and extra for him as Robin specifically tbh. Let him grow up and find an identity outside of being Bruce's emotional support child. It's not like it's actually helping anymore anyways.

[grimsonandclover]

hi j came across ur blogs and FINALLY. someone who doesn’t write about puppy art or stepcest. i tbh would read anhtbjng abt patrick but i love childhood best freind patrick fics or enemies to lovers fics the most!!

All I Want For Christmas

Childhood Bestfriend!Patrick Zweig x classical singer!reader

Song of the post 'WHAT'S IT TO HIM? - Quadeca'

Yes! I don't yuck other people's yum but I noticed how it's everywhere in this fandom, which is fine, it's just not for me! There are some versions of puppy!characters that I can enjoy, but not when it gets really into the puppy stuff, ykwim? Stepcest and any other incest things are a hard no from me, though. Anyways, fuck, I love these two tropes so much, I could eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner and still have them as snacks and still never tire. but childhood friends to lovers >>> im such a softy for it. I wrote this the moment I saw your message, so it's semi-proofread, more so just me writing the little story I thought of as it came to me. if you want a smutty part two lmk and ill write it in a flash

I have no clue where the Christmas theme came from, it just kinda happened. I don't even celebrate Christmas lmao.

This was meant to be a blurb. Now it's a 5k word slow burn blurb. Hope you enjoy!

also the song linked has nothing to do w the story lmao, it's just what's playing. <3 quadeca

SFW

5.3k words

childhood bestfriend!Patrick Zweig, Never dates Tashi/Loses Art!AU, slow burn, timeskips, no content warnings

--(x)-- 1998 - 2006 --(x)--

You both grew up quite rich, you and Patrick Zweig. Going to the same charity events and galas and birthday dinners as kids because your parents would drag you both along to brag about your accomplishments. Patrick's parents would brag about how he's a tennis prodigy that's gonna go pro one day, have you seen him play? And your parents brag about your voice and your grades, how youre gonna get into any school you want (which you would be able to anyways since theyd just pay the school board). You've got the voice of an angel and since you were four they'd make you get up at parties and events and sing something by the piano. You were groomed to love the spotlight just like Patrick was groomed to love the rush of tennis.

Patrick loved hearing you sing. When you'd be ushered over to your spot by the piano player and ask the adults what they'd like to hear, Patrick would sit up from his slump at the dinner table or sofa, perking up like a dog being told its time for treats. He didn't really know anything about music, he just knew your voice did something in his chest.

You loved seeing him play. Your family had plenty of casual tennis players of its own, tennis being quite a popular sport amongst the wealthy. You understood the gist of it, but that wasn't why you asked your parents to go every time Patrick got to play. You wanted to go because it felt like the closest thing to seeing a shooting star up close. He was like a fireball on the court, even from a young age. His couches kept trying to train the unique serve out of him, you could see their cringing from the sidelines whenever he'd do it, but eventually they stopped when they realized how much he won with it. Because he did. A lot. It was mesmerizing to watch.

One Christmas the two of you finally properly spoke to eachother. You were both ten. Your parents had all gotten wine drunk in the other room, leaving the kids to try and get along in the Zweig's living room. The Christmas parties were always held at the Zweig house, it was the biggest. Didn't matter that they were Jewish. Never even crossed their mind, too big of an oppertunity to schmooze and secure business deals. Patrick never gave it a second thought, just happy he got gifts.

You two had just sat down by the fireplace as the other older kids convened on how to sneak some liquor without anyone noticing. You were too young to care about things like that, instead talking to eachother about school and your respective passions. It was the first proper conversation you'd had even though you had practically been in each other's lives since birth. Patrick liked hearing about the unserious gossip from your all-girls private school, how once again you were on the deans list and top of the class. He found it the funniest thing in the world when you confessed that you'd cheated on a math exam, your weakest subject. How you'd done that quite often actually. Patrick liked knowing you weren't as perfect as your parents boasted you to be, because that made you actually perfect in his eyes.

You liked hearing about the rowdy boys at his school and at tennis practice, and the stupid fights that would break out. Patrick would tell you about the famous tennis players his parents would get him to meet, some even practice with. How they'd comment on his serve, too, and when Patrick would imitate their voice and mannerisms, youd laugh till your stomach and cheeks hurt. Patrick decided then, at ten years old, to commit your laugh to memory. It was a sound as beautiful as your singing.

That became your routine at every dinner and every party your parents would take you to. You'd find solace and company with eachother, a rare, true friend in your world. You both never told your parents about the friendship because even then you knew they'd try and take advantage of it. Turn it into some political relationship, breed you two to marry or something for their benefits.

When Patrick's parents sent him off to the Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy when you were twelve, you cried into your pillow for hours. You'd promised to write eachother, but there's only so much writing a twelve year old can do before they get distracted. Your meetings went from twice a month to once a year. The Zweig family Christmas party.

Just like when you were ten, the two of you would meet up by the crackling fireplace and swap stories, updating each other on your lives. You performed with a real live orchestra last week a version of Silent Night and your mother cried from the crowd. Patrick was sorry he couldn't be there but you handed him a CD with a recording of the night, knowing he'd want to see it, and he said it was the best Christmas gift he'd ever gotten. He hadn't even watched it yet, but he knew. The tennis racket once owned by Bjorn Borg was a pretty great gift too, though (he'd keep it hung on his dorm wall for his entire time at the academy, then later in a case in the trunk of his car to keep it safe).

He had met a kid named Art at the academy, and he talked about how they became fast friends. Best friends. You didn't really have much time for friends, too busy with school and all the extracurriculars your parents had signed you up for since birth. It was kind of like that for Patrick before he left, and you were happy he got the chance to meet someone at the academy. Art sounded great, and you wished you could meet him.

The next year you did it again, but at 15 Patrick got pneumonia on Christmas eve and couldn't come. You sat by the fireplace alone, picking lint off your sweater. Not much had changed apart from his absence. The older kids, now nearing college, were still thinking of ways to get alcohol. Some messed around with eachother in the various rooms of the house while the parents were off doing whatever parents did, not having much else to do. You stayed by yourself, watching the fire and praying to God that Patrick would be okay.

The year after, Patrick was back. He was older now, and so were you, of course. You were both 16 now, puberty catching up with the both of you in the year you hadn't seen each other.

Patrick had started properly shaving now, and when you first laid eyes on him, waiting for you by the fireplace, the slight shadow of hair on his chin and jaw was the first thing you noticed. Your eyes trailed up the stubble to his cheeks, which had lost the baby fat and now made the apples of his cheeks much more visible, especially as he smiled up at you. He called your name excitedly, standing up to meet you in a hug. You had hugged before, but he never wore cologne before. He had clearly gone through a growth spurt, too, and easily could rest his chin on your head. When you pulled back from the hug, you grabbed his shoulders and held him at arms length, just looking at him. He did the same for you, taking in the slight increase of height yourself, the more mature glow in your skin, and, since he was still only a teenage boy and still Patrick Zweig, your new boobs. His eyebrows raised, a slow and impressed whistle blew from his lips as he gave you alook. "You've grow." He smiled, and you swatted his arms while you blushed. "Look who's talking." You said, poking his biceps. Tennis academy did him good.

You had never thought about it before, but that one year apart and your reunion woke something in you up. Patrick Zweig was hot. You didn't know, but that same part of his own brain ignited. The whole night you two still talked as normal, still giggled over stories and swapped gifts. He got you a necklace made from your favorite metal, a tiny but intricate tennis racket charm hanging on the bottom. It was simple, but it was so precious.

"So I can be with you more than once a year." He explained, and you couldn't help yourself when you pulled him into the biggest hug you could manage. It was the most heartwarming gift you had ever gotten. And it made you laugh too, especially when you reached over to give him his gift.

When he opened it, his eyes widened and laughed, picking up the simple silver chain bracelet with a tiny charm of your initial on it. You were a little nervous to give it to him, worried it seemed too couple-y of a gift instead of something you'd give a friend, but now that anxiety had gone. He put it on immediately, and you were so grateful that he didn't think it was too girly or soft for him to wear. Patrick Zweig could be crude and perverted (something you realized when he let slip the way he looked at some girls back at the academy), but he wasn't insecure. Not in that way, at least.

You sat a little closer together that year, knees brushing as you caught up. Art was still his best friend and you two made plans for how you could meet. You were still singing, the Christmas time performance of yours now a yearly tradition. He was still never able to come, but he promised one day he would. The other kids were now too old to come to his house, off at college dorm parties, some even old enough to be already married and having Christmas parties of their own. The living room was much more quiet for the two of you but it's not like you ever noticed them much before. The one true new addition was the cigarette that now dangled from his lips. You had initally scolded him for the new habit but it didn't take long for it to be passed between the two of you as you spoke. You did your best to not think about how it had touched his lips and then would touch yours.

When graduation came around and it was finally time to go off to college yourself, your heart sank a little. College meant you two would be too busy with your own lives to come back, and your parents already weren't too committed to dragging you along with them to their events anymore. When you sat by the fireplace for that final year, you found you had less to talk about. Life felt pretty slow for you, especially with your lack of real friends. It was the same deal every year. School, choir, then independent vocal lessons, then horseback riding, then the youth advisory board, then tutoring. Your days were all a countdown to Christmas, the one day of the year you weren't some busy prodigal daughter with too many responsibilities on your shoulders, but Patrick Zweig's best friend. That was the only thing expected of you.

Maybe not in the way Art Donaldson was, but you were his best friend. He was the love of your life, you were sure of it.

He asked about your plans for school, and you said you'd probably go to Julliard if you got accepted. You were being humble, of course. You got your acceptance letter months ago. Patrick, not knowing that, assured you that you would. "They'd be stupid to not let you in." He smiled, cigarette balancing between his teeth and his bottom lip. You nudged your shoulder against his, thanking him for the vote of confidence. When it was your turn to ask him, he shrugged.

"Ah, I dunno." He blew smoke from the corner of his mouth, away from you. Patrick sat, thinking to himself for a moment before turning to face you. "I've been thinking about it, and... I don't think I'm gonna go." He shrugged again, and your eyebrows pulled back in surprise. "Do your parents know that?" You asked, knowing they'd never allow him. The Zweigs loved boasting about how Patrick was going to continue the family name. Tennis might be his gift, but they expected him to finally grow up and be an adult, not a tennis player.

He shook his head, turning back to the fire crackling before you. "Fuck them," he whispered with a smirk. "I'm gonna go pro. Play at challengers and shit until I rank for the bigger stuff. Play at Wimbledon or the Olympics or something. Don't wanna risk an injury at some school before I can even do anything real, you know?"

You nod your head, understanding. It made sense for him, you just were worried about how his parents would react.

"Art's gonna go to Stanford." He said, lips a little downturned at the mention. "He wants a safety net, I guess. I don't really know." He blows another puff of smoke, handing the cigarette over to you. Then he turns to you again, chuckling a little humorlessly. "Gas is gonna be a bitch, going from California to New York."

"What do you mean?"

"Going back and forth to see you and Art." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, shocked you even asked. "Guess I could fly," Patrick thought to himself, thinking over the logistics of it, then seemingly deciding it would work. "Worth it."

Your chest constricted a little at the thought of him going through all of that just to see you. You insisted that he didn't have to, that you'd gladly fly over to see him instead of the other way around, but he persisted. "You'll have school and friends and shit. I'll have plenty of time to come over. Plus, you know, phones exist." He teased.

Patrick was right. They did, of course. For some reason, though, you two never called. Never even thought about it. It was a little nonsensical and you laughed, and he joined. You promised that you'd start calling him, and he promised you the same thing.

When you hugged him before you had to leave, you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Patrick."

He grinned, cheeks warming and turning pink. "I'm Jewish." He laughed, giving you a final hug. "Merry Christmas."

--(x)-- 2010 --(x)--

Graduation night at Alice Tully Hall was intense.

Four years had gone by in a flash and it was already the last week of May-- actually, it was already the end of graduation itself. Your cap was on your head and diploma in hand, the other one busy shaking the hands of the few late family and family friends that had come over to congratulate you. You were exhausted, both from the four years and from the night. All you wanted was to go to your apartment, flop onto your bed face first, and sleep the night away.

You had spent almost the entire celebration biting your nails and scanning the hall for the two pairs of eyes and smiles you wanted to see the most. When your name got called and you walked up on the stage, and your mother cried in the crowd like the night of your first concert, and your father gave you the same, unattached nod that was the closest he could get to saying he was proud of you. Patrick had told you he was gonna be late, just having finished a challenger in Philidelphia the same day. You just didn't think late meant missing the ceramony entirely.

Patrick was sitting in thick New York City traffic, banging his fist on his steering wheel, yelling at the car next to him. Art was in the passenger's seat, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You fucking moron! Dumb fucking cunt! You know how much this is gonna cost!?" Patrick yelled, pointing to the driver's door that now had a dent in it. The traffic was so heavy he couldn't move, and he didn't want to get out in case it budged. He knew he was late, and now some guy in a truck, in a fucking truck in New York City, had just bumped into the side of Patrick's car. The dent wasn't anything that would permanently damage the car, but it was pretty nasty. "Who taught your to drive?" He yelled, almost leaning fully out of the window now. Art reached over to pull at the back of his shirt, trying to get him back in. "Are you blind!? We're in the middle of traffic and you still managed to hit me?"

"Christ, Patrick, get back in the fucking car!"

Patrick swatted his hand away. "My best friend is graduating and now I gotta pick her up with this shit on my car. What's your insurance!? I'm gonna sue the shit out of you!"

Cars started beeping at him and the driver in the truck was yelling back just as colorfully. "That piece of dog shit almost looks better with it! You should be fucking thanking me, asshole. Maybe your insurance will give you a better car!"

"A better car!?" Patrick was red in the face. "Why don't you let me return the favor then!"

"Oh, shit." Art was scrambling over the center console to really pull him back, knowing it was seconds away from getting violent.

--(x)--

You were leaning against the front doors playing with the tennis racket necklace you had never taken off when you got a call from Art. You had gotten it from him the first time you met him freshman year, it being the one connection you had to each other for the whole school year. He had become a really close friend of yours, even through he grainy speakers of your phone. You picked it up eagerly, the first thing you could hear being angry beeping in the background and a voice that sounded like Patrick yelling.

"Art? Where are you guys? What's going on?"

"Oh my god," Art said your name, a little frantic. "Okay, so, uh, we're running late, I know-" there's some shuffling you can hear, and you cut in. "The ceremony is already over." You tell them, a little disappointed. Art frowns but his attention is pulled back to the situation at hand.

"Congrats on graduating! Um, anyways, I called cause Patrick's kinda losing his shit right now. Some guy hit his car--"

"Oh my god! Are you guys alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're fine. It's just a dent. But now the two are in the middle of the street and Patrick's getting his ass kicked." He sounds nervous, because of course he is. His best friend is catching fists to the face. "I tried to help..." Art continues, and his hand goes back up to touch the future black eye he's now sporting. "But, um, I just wanted to let you know that I don't think we'll make it over-"

In the background, Patrick interrupts, managing to gather the strength to push the giant man from on top of him. "Oh, we're making it!" He yells out loud enough that you can just hear it over the speaker, then throws another punch at the guy's jaw. Patrick's nose was bleeding and his eyebrow was cut, and the other guy wasn't looking all that great either. He spat at the guy, adding "You made me miss her graduation." with another punch.

The cars around them suddenly started move, and the two friends froze. Traffic was moving again. The guy got another good punch onto Patrick before he was able to scramble up and run back to his car, yelling at Art to start driving before the guy caught up.

They finally got to Lincoln Center looking like a pair of hot messes and you spent the weekend in your apartment with them sleeping over, caring for their cuts and bruises and catching up, smoking out your apartment window. It was the best weekend you'd had in years.

--(x)-- 2019 --(x)--

The crowd cheering was deafening, and the spotlight was blinding. Nonetheless, you took a bow, thanking the audience for the night. Your hand reached out to the orchestra and another round of applause boomed. Nobody could smile bigger than your were. No one could beat the butterflies in your stomach.

It was the week before Christmas, and just like you had since you were 12, you were performing a concert. This time however it wasn't on a small stage at a theater in your hometown, but at Alice Tully Hall in New York City, the same hall you had graduated in nine years ago.

The lights dimmed and that was your cue to leave, first excitingly hugging the musicians who played so beautifully that night. You thanked them all, wished them a happy holiday, and walked off stage. Waiting for you, as always, stood Patrick Zweig.

The years had done him well. Tennis kept him built like a marble statue, age refined his features, and his own laziness left the slightly auburn stubble on his cheeks to grow out. He was wearing the one tux he still owned, slightly tight around the arms and legs as he outgrew it.

Patrick had long cut contact with his parents, becoming financially independent (much to the dismay of his bank account), and no longer had to deal with the constant phone calls about how he was letting down the Zweig name with his tennis career. The days of them bragging about his talent were long gone, it was meant to be a hobby, not a career. Who was going to take over the Zweig family business now? He couldn't give less of a fuck. His designer wardrobe slowly sold off to pay for all the gas he consumed driving from matches to his best friends throughout the years, shedding his past with every article of clothing.

Patrick made sure to never repeat the same mistake as your graduation. At every event, he was there. Early, if possible. Never joining tournaments or challengers held on the same day as important events like tonight, not that there really were any on Christmas Eve. He made sure to make up for all the time you weren't together growing up.

Patrick held a bunch of roses in his hands for you as you approached, enveloping him in a hug. "Flowers are from the three of us." He spoke into your hair, referring to him, Art, and Art's wife Tashi. Free hand wrapping around your shoulder to squeeze you back with equal amounts of love. "Lily even made you a card. You were incredible, like always. Incredible."

You smiled up at him, kissing his cheek before hugging again. When you pull back, you look around him for the aforementioned Donaldsons. "They're waiting for Art to finish pissing. Whole night he kept complaining, drank too much water on the ride here but idiot didn't want to get up in the middle of your show and go." He chuckled, handing you the bouquet. You loop your arm into his, the feeling of him grounding you after the intense rush of adrenaline and emotions that came with performing to such a large audience or such a special night. Walking out into the main hall together, a couple people greet and shake your hand, some asking for pictures. A person even recognized Patrick, which was quite uncommon with his career now dwindling down an unfortunate and unsuccessful path (You were sure any day now he was gonna pick back up and climb the ranking again. You made sure to tell him after every match).

The two of you leaned against a wall as the attention died down and people began going home. In your heels, you were tall enough to rest your head comfortable on Patrick's shoulder. He smiled at the gesture, leaning his head on yours. Closing your eyes, you took in the whole night. The fading adrenaline, the sweat that gathered on your forehead drying, the sound of the crowd getting quieter by the second. The material of Patrick's tux on your cheek and ear, his steady and relaxed breathing, the warmth of his embrace, the musky cologne he had been using since he was a teenager.

Patrick enjoyed the moments alone he had with you. He wasn't Patrick Zweig the failed heir to the Zweig throne just like how he was a failed tennis player. He was Patrick Zweig, your best friend. That was the only thing expected of him.

Longer than Art Donaldson ever was. You were the love of his life, he was sure of it.

He inhaled the scent of your hair and your perfume, arm wrapped around your shoulder as his thumb rubbed comforting circles on it. When he closed his eyes, he replayed how you looked on the stage while you sang. You were as beautiful as your voice. Always had been, always will be. Every performance of yours took him back to when things were much simpler, when he'd watch you by their otherwise untouched piano at formal dinners and you'd sing a Sinatra song for the parents. He could almost taste the roasted chicken, almost feel the silverware in his hands.

Your hand reached up to your chest and your fingers played with the little tennis racket charm, a habit you'd had for years. Patrick loved knowing you kept the necklace on after all this time, even on nights like this where you could've replaced it with something much more grand and expensive.

He had never taken his bracelet off. Even in the brief relationships or hookups he'd have and partners would question what the initial stood for. He'd never answer, just tell them it was important to him.

You opened your eyes again when the sound of little feet in little shoes click-clacked on the tile floor towards you, your name exclaimed from eager lips. Lily bounded up to you, her honerary aunt, and wrapped her arms around your waist. Art and Tashi followed behind her.

Lily pulled back from the hug, looking up at you. "You were like a superstar!" She beamed, one of her front teeth missing. You hug Art and Tashi who compliment your dress and your performance before leaving with them to the dinner reservation you all had, Patrick's arm still around your shoulder as you walked.

At dinner, through mouthfulls of spaghetti, Lily asked you constant questions about what it's like to sing and be on stage. You answered every single one, and at the end of her little interview she made an announcement. "When I grow up I wanna be a tennis player like mommy and daddy," she started, Tashi scolding her to stop talking while she's eating as she wiped with a napkin at the corners of her daughter's mouth. Art's bottom lip jutted out in a little pout, melting in the hands of his daughter. "But, I wanna be a singer-tennis player. So I can wear pretty dresses like you."

You laugh, coming to Tashi's defense. "Your mom wears gorgeous dresses, Lily."

"Yeah, but she doesn't wear them on a stage. I wanna do that."

Point proved, you shrug. Patrick turns to look at you as he's sitting directly beside you. He doesn't say anything, just admires you under the dim and moody lighting of the resteraunt as you talk with Lily, resting his chin in his hand and smiling into his palm. Art and Tashi share a knowing look.

The night decidingly comes to an end when the couple announces they need to put Lily to bed.

"I'm not twenty anymore," Tashi says, handing the bill to the waiting server. "I knock out at ten P.M."

Patrick drove you home like you agreed, and it was assumed he'd stay the night like he often did on your couch. As you changed into more comfortable clothes in your room, he grabbed his own clothes from the trunk of his car and changed in your bathroom. Afterward, he silently observed as you washed off your makeup and took down your hair from its simple updo. It felt domestic. It felt like something a boyfriend does with his girlfriend after a long day. Patrick let himself pretend for a moment that that's exactly what was happening.

When you were done the two of you sat on the couch and cuddled, debating on what movie to wind down to as you settled into his arms as he laid his head against the arm rest.

"Home Alone?" You ask, grabbing the remote and flicking through the options. He shook his head.

"Watched that with Art and Lily just last week. What about Elf?"

You agree, and the movie begins to play. The volume's low and you spend more time talking to each other than actually watching, one of your hands on the arm wrapped around your chest scratching up and down and the other resting on your stomach. Patrick's hand on your chest toyed with your necklace while the other arm rested on your head, lazily scratching as you watched and talked. Neither of you realized when you both fell asleep there.

The sun rising through your window wakes you up, the light bright against your eyelids. You shifted a little, lifting your head but keeping your eyes closed. The first thing your senses picked up on was the warm body of Patrick underneath you, steady rising and falling breaths and the lignering scent of the cologne he applied yesterday still faintly on his skin. His hands were still on your chest and head when you woke up, sliding off when you moved to look at him.

The stresses of adulthood were almost undetectable on his face. Patrick had the same freckles littering his skin that he had as a kid, and you used to tell him that in a crowd of identical people you'd be able to pick him out just by the freckles on his waterline. Did that make sense? Probably not, but it did when you were fourteen. You didn't really care, to be honest, just wanting him to open his eyes so you could see the freckles there again.

As if he could hear your thoughts, his eyelashed fluttered before opening. The first thing he saw was you.

Like an angel. His tired brain though for a moment he died and went to heaven.

"Goodmorning." He rasped, morning voice deep and scratchy. You smiled, looking out the window at the falling snow. "Merry Christmas." You say instead. "I'm Jewish," He chuckled, a hand raising to brush a strand of hair from your face before whispering "Merry Christmas" back. He said the same thing every year.

You stayed silent like that, laying on his chest and just staring at him as he played with your hair. There was some sort of unsaid agreement between the two of you, something your souls communicated with each other without your knowlage as you slept. Patrick felt like his heart could stop at any moment with how etheral you felt.

"What do you want for Christmas?" He asked, breaking the quiet in the room and whispering it like a secret.

Your eyes moved from his to his lips, and at the action his tongue darted out to lick them. It felt like the 21 years you had been best friends slipped away from your fingers and had gone. Time was gone. Reason was gone. The only thing left in the entire world was you, him, and the couch. You knew what you wanted. You had wanted it since you were sixteen. He's sure he's wanted it since the creation of his soul.

His hand moved from your hair to your jaw, both of you slightly breathless, eyes on the other's lips. His calloused hands told you, you weren't dreaming despire how hazy reality felt. His breath on your lips told you, you were still alive despite how heaven-like reality felt.

Patrick leaned in, his nose rubbing on yours and your foreheads touching, lips mere centimeters apart, eyes barely open. His best friend. His soulmate. He was never whole when he wasn't around you.

He kissed you on Christmas morning, the charm of your inital on his bracelet tickling your shoulder, the tennis racket on your necklace resting on his chest.

[mywitchcultblr]

Saw your posts abt the shadow of the erdtree writing and wanted to say thank you for being open abt your opinions on it because I feel largely the same but everyone I've encountered has an tantrum if you critique the writing. Like lets be honest radahn came out of nowhere & I wouldn't even be that disappointed abt it being him instead of godwyn if there was any build up to it in the base game but there isn't.

Miquella feels like they legitimately didn't know what they wanted to do with his character which is a shame bc hes was probably my favorite demigod before hand.

His motivations are wack as fuck. He wants to make the world a gentler place but his consort is a war monger and simps for godfrey, who, mind you, led a genocidal campaign against the giants on markia's behalf??

I swear even the tarnished would have been a better choice for consort. And why imply he was torrents former master if that wasn't the case? It would make sense, melina literally tells you '' torrent has CHOSEN YOU'' so if miquella needed a consort, why not pick the tarnished who has the ability to kill actual fucking gods and isn't inherently a blood thirsty warrior.

biggest disappointment for me is mesmer, hes so cool and his lore is super interesting but he feels like his presence and relevance is side lined or just diminished. Idk. Felt like he had so much potential only to be forgotten in the wake of radahn somehow being alive and back again.

Sorry for rambling but really thank you, your posts really said what i couldn't articulate before.

Also the fact that Radahn being Miquella's consort doesnt make sense because THEY ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

Miquella desired a world of peace, so peaceful there wont be any war or conflict while Radahn is a man of action who relished in bloodshed, he's a relentless warrior who idolized Godfrey.

Him wanted a glorious battle against Malenia before settling down with Miquella, turned Radahn into NOTHING BUT GODFREY'S CLONE. Its one thing for him to idolized the first elden lord, its another thing for him to just become another carbon copy of his idol.

A cheap replica, first elden lord from wish dot com...

This weird arrangement with Miquella is detrimental to not only his Caelid arc (the whole festival thing, letting go, and putting him to rest) but also for Radahn as a person. Also if Radahn became Elden Lord (and marry Marika? Or Ranni? Or Malenia?) his age wouldn't be an age of eternal/total piece that Miquella desired, it has to be a world where warriors could not only survive but also thrive.

A world that Miquella would never approve.

"Oh but its about the symbolism of repeating Godfrey and Marika-" Symbolism for the sake of symbolism that ruined Radahn? Yeah its still shit... And yeah I dont get why Miquella would insist on marrying Radahn, while the STRONGER LORD AKA THE TARNISHED WHO BESTED COUNTLESS ENEMIES IS RIGHT THERE!

True, Mesmer should have been the main big bad, I dont care what anybody said, its such a waste that he was so hyped as this living embodiment of heresy and just ending up as not that relevant in the grand scheme of thing, like this guy has 0 impact on the main title.

I really dont want to see this DLC as canon :(

"Mr. Stark I dont feel so good."

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[rinskazuu]

rating record of ragnarok characters /10, because i can.

DISCLAIMER: i’m only rating the characters based off what the manga & anime has portrayed. i’ve done little to no research on these people themselves, which is why i don’t condone anything immoral that they’ve done. this was written before the release of chapter 73+

a/n: i think i wanna do this for every anime + genshin & val. PLS WATCH IT & LMK IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. also i dont care abt grammatical and/or punctual errors, this is a shit post

MANGA SPOILER WARNING!!

THOR: first of all, he’s so fucking hot. his smile caught me so off guard tho, i kinda just stood there watching the screen, baffled. not much character to him, he’s just hot. 7/10

LU BU: i’m chinese, i literally feel so happy when i see chinese characters. biased, but definitely a plus. he, just like thor, has little to no character. first character i called hot, is hot, but there are hotter characters. (what, i am not talking abt hermes wdym?) 7/10

HERMES: 10/10. no explanation. my man right there. i literally scream & cream every time i see him. why is he so fine. not a single panel or clip where he looks bad. pls eat me out, sir i beg. i will serve you. ONE CHANCE. JUST ONE?? i’m in love with him. who needs real men or women when hermes.

GOLL: she is SO ANNOYING. her eng & jp voice are both annoying asl. she’s that one character, that exists in mostly every anime, used to explain background info & battle info on other characters. brunhilde is too nice on her. she reminds me of when i first saw yachi (haikyuu) on screen. yachi, too, was annoying. but i grew to love her🫶. 1/10

BRUNHILDE: SHES SO HOT. ATE. SHE ALDNAHDISKZ. yeah, what else is there to say? 8/10

APHRODITE: she truly lives up to her version in the greek mythology. hottest woman/goddess alive. ate. her boobs, i want to squish them & bury my face in them. WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HOLD THEM? 8/10

ZEUS: idgaf what anyone says, he’s not hot. not even his younger self. he looks like mirio (mha) turned netero (hxh). love his character tho. the eyes scared me at first. he’s hilarious. 5/10

ADAM: my friend, the one who recommended snv to me, told me he’d be more my type. he was, minus the fact that’s he literally butt fucking naked. nice ass cheeks tho. def pretty boy, his wife is hot too. i want her more😋. his line abt fighting for his children made me cry. should’ve won. i say, let hermes be uncleless & fatherless. 7/10

POSEIDON: he was fs the blueprint for adam. anywho, yk hes fine. SOOO FINE. meowing for him. he doesn’t beat hermes tho. nobody beats hermes. well, look wise at least. it was rlly hard choosing who to root for in this fight. that’s a lie, i was always on humanity’s side. sad he died:( 9/10. -1 for being a little, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 8/10

SASAKI KOJIRO: see, zeus coulda been hot like him at that old age. man aged like fine wine. character was a W. hot, determined, good character, funny. what else can you want from a man? 8/10

HERACLES: disappointed. so disappointed. he looked better in the disney ver. this fight was so boring for me. you’re telling me i’m supposed to watch the fight instead of ogling at hot characters? no. character was okay. 6/10

JACK THE RIPPER: massive L. not supporting a murderer. next. 0/10

SHIVA: hot from the beginning. 4 arms? do what you want to me, sir. 3 WIVES? tengen (kny), is that you bro?😭 anywho, he’s cocky, def my type irl LMAO. i wouldn’t let that slide tho.. his wives are hot too😋 8/10

RAIDEN TAMEEMON: i paid very little attention to this fight. don’t remember his backstory too well (i read this fight not even 24 hours ago btw). not that good looking, not ugly either. i liked his character, upset he took 3 of shiva’s arms. why 3? why not 2? he got 1 arm left. 4/10

BUDDHA: THATS MY GOD RIGHT THERE. ate. i’m not religious, and neither are my family, but they are buddhist, so by default, i am too. i personally think buddhism is the best religion, but we’re not gonna get into that. i have very valid reasons btw. love his personality, love his looks. massive W. ofc he fights for humanity. he’s a walking W. 9/10

ZEROFUKU: precious. definition of deserved better. what made me sad, is how he was written during the fight. he’s consistently hitting, with little to no strategy. his backstory is sad, but his battle exp was written poorly. also the random ass monster possessing took me tf out. 7/10

HADES: fine ass mf. he’s so different from how he’s usually portrayed, both look & personality wise. the first W netflix has pulled. he’s hot and responsible? persephone, we can share him babes. also, the relationship between him & poseidon made me SOB. like actually. hurt so bad i made an angst edit. 9/10

QIN SHI HUANG: first off, i don’t do research on my own ethnicity’s history. i didn’t even know who tf lu bu was. my family knew tho. with that aside, PROUD TO BE CHINESE❗️ he’s so fine. SO FINE. the way his character was written, was wonderful. i loved the fight between him & hades. the tension & the lengths they went to try & win. 9/10

BEELZEBUB: his backstory was so tragic. what i didn’t like, was how they rushed his & lilith’s story. like, they kinda randomly said i love you to each other. i’d love to see their adventures tgt. lilith, leave that emo thing, and come be w me. he’s fine too. i rlly like how they introduced him. 8/10

NIKOLA TESLA: i don’t have much of an opinion on him. very chatty, which i don’t actually mind. i guess we’ll have to wait for more chapters to release before i form an opinion on him. 5/10

ODIN: the hair bro. THE HAIR. i keep forgetting he exists, but i’m not his biggest fan. not bad, but i prefer his sons. i do like the theory of him being a traitor. he looks the part. 5/10

LOKI: honestly, i liked him a lot in the beginning, but now, it’s like he’s kinda on the side. cute & hot. thor is the better brother tho. speaking of, how tf are they even brothers? moving on, i like his personality. i like his shocked, mixed w angry, facial expressions more. 7/10

ARES: the hair again. very stylish, i do like it, but it took me out. walking around looking like a school girl. i don’t like how he tries to be a know-it-all w hermes, when he literally relies on him for info. but that’s my man for you. his expressions are SO WELL. 6/10

ADAMAS: i was awfully confused, at first, when there were 3 older brothers to zeus. usually, it’s just hades, poseidon & zeus. not his biggest fan, his character was rushed. 4/10

BONUSES

JESUS: i was very happy to see jesus. i’m not sure why, i just was. why is he the only character, THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELVES? 9/10

LU BU SIMP AGENCY: 10/10. i don’t need to say anymore. W cheng gong. love that man.

FORSETI: what a loser. he was so annoying. 2/10

EVE: mother? mommy? whatever. MEOW. 9/10

SASAKI SIMP AGENCY: love them as well. 10/10. walking Ws all around.

i don’t think i’m missing anyone, am i?

[hexisssssssss]

This is a very unorganized rant but just felt like posting abt this. I feel like the writers fucked up a lot of the potential so many season 2 characters had. I just think they handled some of their heavily traumatized characters very poorly. The most prominent example is definitely Sarah. Like the poor girl was also so young when everything started and has had to suffer just as much sorrow and loss as clem. And yet she’s so hated by the writers, just for processing her trauma differently than clem which was their choice. Why give a character ptsd just to hate them for having it???? I also never understood why we can be given the option to teach her how to shoot if she never gets to use it. I would’ve loved to see her actually work towards overcoming her issues and being able to defend herself or run when need be. In my play through I personally was always as nice to her as possible, we don’t see clem come across a lot of kids around her age (roughly) often especially not one’s who are also girls. I would have loved to see her form a friendship after losing duck and ben in the previous season. I think they could have both benefited from that friendship. Clem could learn that there will be people who react differently than her to trauma and situations and how to handle that in a way thats not killing. And Sarah could have ideally learned to manage her ptsd better and have more of a fighting chance. And a lot gets stolen from these girls life experience because of the apocalypse i feel like them having the ability to experience sisterhood through friendship with another girl allows them to reclaim some of what they lost and i would’ve loved to see that. Like i saw a post once about how they were originally supposed to have like a sleep over in Sarah’s room. Like hello???? That would have been so sweet why did they take that away 😭. All in all i never saw Sarah as a baby, just someone who responded differently and needed a little more support. And someone who could’ve been a potential buddy for clem. And i always thought it was so frustrating that even if you talk her out of her panic and don’t leave her to die she still ends up dying in the most stupid and easily avoidable way. I don’t like how they treat her as a burden when i can think of only one time she actually held up the group. Otherwise she was just a kid she was just there and scared.

My girl deserved better <3

[transfemlogan]

I keep seeing ppl talk abt how thomas is aging or how he's changing physically & therefore cant play his sides anymore which. Is so silly 2 me. & ive never even viewed as a problem.

Like, if he was playing another character, then yes sure that applies. But. The sides are him. & not 2 do the "well theyre his characters?!?!" Thing but. They are Literally Him. He cannot "grow out" of himself, bcuz its him.

The whole "he has 2 shave his beard" "he has 2 grow out his hair" "hes turning 40 in a few years, he'll be too old!" "He'll have to change his content" thing does not make sense 2 me.

Yes it will be jarring to watch a series where like, the szn 2 finale posts & he looks older from the last time we saw him w/o plot aging him. But. It's not like a show on netflix or something. Its a youtube webseries.

Idk if im just silly, but i genuinely do not see this as a big deal. "He should wrap up sasi w/ the end of szn 2" ... or. He can just keep doing what he wants to. "He'll need to change his characters once he's 40 bcuz they dont fit their age" ... or. He can just keep them the same.

Ppl act like aging is the end of the fucking world. Or that u cannot stay urself once u age. If virgil wants to be a cringey little emo at age 40— WHICH IS NOT. OLD BTW. 40 is NOT old— then let him. This is a GOOD THING actually if theres a 40 yr old man being himself despite aging.

[blackwoolncrown]

that's a really interesting take on dating (not sarcasm), would you mind expanding on it? no worries if not ✌

Okay sorry I actually just expanded on it in the original post but for the sake of archiving….

Dating is not historically the norm. MASSIVELY generalizing, there are two main ways people to about seeking a *partnership* (not the same thing as seeking a sex partner which is and has always been easier)

One tends to happen before marriage age in cultures where it’s allowed and it’s more like “hooking up”. Aside from pregnancy and STIs the long term stakes are otherwise low and long term commitment isn’t the goal. Rather it’s something that tends to happen w young people as they use sexual interactions as a way to gain social status (think abt social hierarchies and currency tied to who gets to make out the most)

The other is marriage, whether poly or mono; this is a practice that tends to apply to older individuals with higher long term stakes. In this realm, premarital sex is frowned upon (I’m actually pro premarital sex for really important reasons but I’m against non-committal sec) and overall it is expected that a period of courtship ensue during which the quality of the potential partners is assessed.

Now I am not saying there can’t be issues w more traditional cultures irt this.

But what I am saying is that after assimilation and various cultural genocides, these practices have largely been eroded.

Additionally the “free love” push of the 60s and 70s which freed people from purist conservative sexuality then bred an attitude of “sexual liberation” that saw the maintenance of any barriers to sex as conservative, old fashioned and restrictive.

And I think that’s kind of a mindfuck bc for any hood it did, it fundamentally lowered the bar for mens access to sex, and now it’s like 6 feet under.

For better or worse, the average man organizes a lot of his life around whether he can get laid and how much. When it costs nothing- whether in money or more importantly effort and quality of character- for him to get it, he’s absolutely not going to put in more than he needs to.

I think it’s also noteworthy that the foundation for tbis ways laid in WWI bc during the draft, the amount of available bachelors dropped, but it was still a time during which women really needed to get wed to get anywhere in life, so women began to compete for men, which is WILDLY out of pattern for how things used to be. Around this time they were willing to “prove” themselves as available bedmates and homemakers to a degree they wouldn’t before, in the hopes of a ring. So you started to see girls “going steady” w men which is basically providing all the benefits of a wife without him having actually committed to anything at all. And our modern dating pattern was born.

Meanwhile, “dating” has evolved from “multi partner mini courting” to “seeing someone for sex and hoping they care about you after” and it’s honestly fucked up.

Like all things considered letting a man smash in your house or his when you hardly know him is fucking insane. And ppl will do this repeatedly w someone who they don’t have previous intimacy w then get hurt when that person fails to prioritize them emotionally.

Plus a lot of dudes think that since sex is easy to get- it’s like fucking door dash for many, just go on an app and make an arrangement- that they are getting the “meat” of a relationship without having to deal w tje extras.

But ironically the benefits of a committed relationship have way more to do with emotional and psychological growth and safety than sex, which is really more of the culmination of the two.

So ppl are just having these really shallow relationships w each other, putting the cart before the horse and then being upset when they’re not getting anywhere.

Meanwhile the dominance of dating apps is the biggest opp I’ve ever seen. Yeah siren describe exactly what you’re looking for so someone can fake it or unintentionally internalize it and then you can be upset and feel manipulated when once the per formative stage is over they are “different”.

Additionally relationships aren’t like….this cute thing you “just do” bc everyone else is doing it. A partner isn’t like a life accessory. It’s actually a decision to face and mutually work through your most intimate issues. And it’s like almost no one these days knows that. So they don’t stick anything out or gain the tools to manage a relationship before actually seeking one. Then they become serial daters just triggering each other en masse then hopping on social media to complain abt how hard dating is. Like..then stop?

For those who are solely seeking sex, I don’t care. I’m not in tje business of judging. But a lot of ppl are seeking a relationship. And doing so through dating is, in my autistic opinion, clearly illogical.

Also recent study shows actually 68% of marriages started as friendships. Not from dating.

Dating is a lie and the idea that it’s THE way to find a partner is false.

[thwackk]

kinda want a summary of the morals of Henry Danger discussion...

I mostly talked about one thing because I saw one post from like 4 years ago that pissed me off LMAO. And it’s not that deep, but i’m making it that deep for a minute:

So long story short, I got mad at people treating Ray like he’s some bad and horrible person for allowing Henry to basically sign his life away at 13 years old. Now obviously, that’s not a good thing or responsible. But we gotta remember that Ray got his powers at a MUCH younger age than when Henry started and was basically forced into the superhero gig by his father and quite literally MISSED OUT on having a childhood. So i’m pretty sure this guy doesn’t know shit abt acting normal, or having normal morals, and he definitely doesn’t know shit abt kids.

He’s been living in a cave fighting crime mostly by himself for like 20+ years like fucking batman or whatever, of course he’s not normal. Yeah this is irresponsible, but he didn’t really know how BAD it was. Also bringing up the fact that Henry had the choice to leave or quit literally any time, Ray was never FORCING him to be there. Henry loved it most of the time, and he got a good friend/mentor figure out of it. He’s not the greatest, but he’s not a bad one, and one he genuinely loves and cares abt, and vice versa.

It’s like saying batman is a horrible father and then acting like he’s completely evil, like it doesn’t make sense. Yeah Batman’s a bad father that’s true, BUT IT MAKES COMPLETE SENSE OF COURSE HE’S A BAD FATHER, LOOK AT THAT GUY. That doesn’t make him evil or mean that he doesn’t love his kids genuinely. (there are some versions of batman out there that do NOT make sense however but I am just bringing this up to make a shitty point). An extremely unfair point actually because Ray didn’t adopt henry first of all, and he’s SIGNIFICANTLY kinder, more patient, and emotionally available to this kid. they are genuinely friends, it’s a pretty healthy relationship.

anyways, gist of it is that just because an adult logically knows better (usually) doesn’t mean they are going to make good choices about it all the time. No adult actually feels like an adult, and no adult is right about everything so stop expecting them to be in fiction. that’s unrealistic, stop putting characters on pedestals they’re allowed to be human and do bad things sometimes because that’s what human beings DO.

does this mean it’s excused?? NO, all i’m saying is that we gotta stop being immature abt characters and expecting them to be perfect, it makes them infinitely more interesting that way.

[dani-ya-dig]

Okay I’m finally gonna do it.

I’m watching all three of the summit audios and posting just an absolute clusterfuck of my thoughts about it

So thought’s beneath the cut I guess

The Monarchial Summit

No but I’m actually with Milo on this one who the fuck only owns one belt?? I don’t even go to formal things but I still own multiple belts

Also Ash accusing Aggro of stealing his shoes… like the cat of MILO GREER would touch anything Asher would wear anyways. The fucking audacity of that statement.

Makayla existing might be one of the juiciest princes of information my brain soaked up from this anthology. I need to know more about this woman. I don’t even know why

Yeah… welcome to monarchy lovely… it’s great I swear

SAMMMMM!!!

Also like if y’all have idea for things that Sam wore to the summit share them with me bc I genuinely can not imagine anyone being able to get that man into anything more than a black and white tux

Sam and Darling better have got that fucking ice cream, I don’t give two FUCKS who died for them to get it. They deserve it. I love them in case you couldn’t tell. I’m pretty lowkey abt it.

GOD Porter is such a fucking asshole I love him so bad

Also this is probably gonna be something I bring up multiple times throughout this post but I love seeing the dynamic that the Solaire kiddos have going on. Like they interact pretty similarly to me and my siblings (except… you know… way more toxic) and I think it’s a fun dynamic that I genuinely want to see more of. I know the clan probably doesn’t hang out as a unit as often as like the Shaw Pack does but I really wanna see more of them together.

God I know the Shaw Solstice parties must be so fun

Also do you guys actually think anyone is like dancing at the Summit? Because I genuinely can’t imagine it. I would love to imagine vampires waltzing but it feels like it’s more of a socialization stand around and talk to people event… which is far less fun

“It’s a party not a funeral” it is actually so silly that you would say that you old fuck

SHUT THE YOUR UGLY ASS UP CHRISTOPHER!! I KNOW VINCENT IS SLAYING AT THIS FUCKING PARTY

Also what does “there’s mud in your eye” mean? Is that what Christopher says? I’ve never heard that expression in my life.

OHHH ITS ALEXIS!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ANT THIS PART!!!

Also GOD props to Alexis’s voice actor because every single line was delivered so fucking perfectly that it actually makes me wanna scream. ITS SO GOOD

I know her saying “mates” condescendingly must have already had Darlin wanting to whoop her

SHE SAID THE THING!!! SHE SAID THE THING THAT NO ONE HS BROUGHT UP UNTIL THIS POINT!!!

Seriously I hope that’s a topic we get to touch on more in later audios, is whether Darlin wants to be turned or not, because there is so much potential there and I LIVE FOR IT!!! And then like a Sam comfort audio where Darlin is all anxious that he isn’t gonna like them if they age even if they know that’s not the case in their heart GOD I FLDNSKDNDJDNHDJDHDZHJDHDHD

Sorry I got too excited

UGH OLDER DARLIN!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!

I may consistently talk abt how much I love Sam but Darlin is the character I actually have a crush on guys

Alexis does make a point though. I don’t remember exactly how old she is but I seriously doubt that Darlin would stand a chance against her in a fight based on her age alone.

“Pettiness isn’t childish at all. It’s what we GROWNUPS use to express our distaste when we grow up from our adolescent power fantasies and learn how the real world works” So we are just lying now? Also, okay meemaw sorry didn’t mean to disrespect my elders. Old ass.

The fact that she knew if Sam came over when she was talking to Darlin that it would start a fight

Also this part is something I saw a few Alexis fans complaining about. Saying stuff like “oh so Alexis is just a villain and doesn’t actually get any dimension as character great 🙄” but like??? Are you guys not seeing what I’m seeing about this?? One, Alexis is talking out of her ass, she is saying anything she can to make Darlin angry or feel like shit. That doesn’t mean anything she is saying holds any merit. She could 100% be lying, and there could have been good intentions behind her turning him, even if it was a stupid decision. Like Porter said Alexis is a delightful blend of self assured and insecure. Do you really think if she held regret for what she did she would let other people see that?? Sam actively says that the shit she has gone through has made her hardened but there is still a person underneath all of it.

I’m not even an Alexis fan but it baffles me that you guys don’t still see the possibility for her to have depth, even just within headcanon if it’s never talked about again.

DARLIN TAP ME IN PLS I COULD TAKE HER IN A VERBAL SPAR PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

Porter to the rescue!

DRAG HER ASS PORTER!! SICK EM!!

Also Porter is strangely kind to Darlin?? Like in this audio sure he says he only helped them so he didn’t have to deal with the aftermath of a fight between them and Alexis, but also in the audio with him and Vincent the first thing he does when he meets them I compliment them. Potential for begrudging besties?? Or Porter trails Darlin around and they can’t shake him no matter how hard they try??

DARLINS FOOTSTEPS AS THEY RUN AFTER SAM <33

“You should >:(“ actually who the fuck do you think you are???

QUINN FORESHADOWING??? PLS PLS PLS??? I genuinely don’t see any reason to have this interaction if it isn’t foreshadowing to something happening with Quinn

“I needn’t mention Porter” PLS WHAT HAS PORTER DONE THAT IS SO AWFUL THAT PPL OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE KNOW IT???

“Invocation’s from maker to progeny, not the other way around Sam 🙄” SHE IS SO SASSY I CANT! EVERY LINE SHE HAS I SWEAR

“But playing is what I do best <3” STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN HOMEWRECKERRRRRR /ref

SEE GUYS THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABT!! IM NOT A FAN OF ALEXIS BY ANY MEANS BUT JUST BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE TURNED SAM FOR SELFISH REASONS DOESNT MEAN YOU CANT STILL VIEW HER AS A MULTI-FACETED CHARACTER

NOT THE NIGHT OLD CUP OF NOODLES

Porter quoting Sam. I love to imagine that this is something that Vampire have to explain often so they just all end up explaining the same way eventually.

“What’s it to you” MILO BEING PROTECTIVE OVER SWEETHEART!! IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.

Wait how did Porter know that Sweetheart was investigating Closeknit?? Does that actually matter? Am I thinking too much?

“I don’t expect you to get it” as if every piece of media with a masquerade or large ball type event doesn’t have some kind of murder mystery undertones Porter. This truly shouldn’t have surprised anyone.

Super sleuth sweetheart <33

ASHER YOU DONT NEED TO TURN TO EVERYONE ELSE FOR THE ANSWERS ALL THE TIME!! U R SMART!! YOU CAN MAKE DECISIONS!!

Like even when it wasn’t him saying that he needed to go to David he still turned to Babe as if asking them what to do

Darlin is stronger than I. this shit would have made me cry so hard so fast I would have lost it

I love that even with all of the chaos happening inside Sam and Darlin still just get to have their sweet little moment alone

ANGEL SITTING IN ON THE MEETING WITH DAVID!!!

Food for thought, during the meeting David was holding Angel’s hand under the table and messing with their engagement ring???

“Ash… look at me” WHY SO YOU TWO CAN KISS??? STOP BEING SO IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND DAVID THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

I genuinely thought they were gonna kiss goodbye at the end of that

Closeknit’s mission?? To what?? enable Blake’s obsession with his best friend??? To kidnap people and hold the hostage???

“Ow Porter what the hell! 😢”

“We are all sick of being your babysitter” (babysitter Sam enters stage right ready to drag both of them away by their ears)

THE MUSIC PICKING UP AT THE END IS SO KCNDKSBDJXHDBDBD I LUB IT

Vampire Justice

Alexis’s little “yeeeesss” is so silly of her. Someone has literally been murdered and she is just in a goofster mood

VINCENT’S LITTLE “lex :(“ AND THEN SHE FINALLY STOPS TEASING HIM!!! THEY ARE SIBLINGS UR HONOR!!!

ANGRY PROTECTIVE ASHER!!! GOD I CANT EVEN!!!

Also damn does sass just run in the family Alexis and Porter are so sassy

FAMILY!! HE SAID THE THING!!! THE WORD THAT MAKES ME CRY!!

hehehehe Mr. Shaw

Everyone is all shocked by the fact that they hold their own hearing instead of going to the department as if that’s the craziest thing about their legal system and not the fact that they literally are going to hold a public execution for Quinn

Also Sam seems just as much in the dark on a lot of this as the Shaw Pack does and I think that’s so funny. He has been a vampire for 15 years but just never have enough of a fuck to want to learn about vampiric court.

Monarch Baz really does not give a singular fuck.

“A pile of bones obviously” I could hear the eye roll in her voice

A LONG WALK IN THE SUN HAHAHAHAHAA

I know that he is innocent… but I really don’t like Christopher anyways

“I forgot to turn of the oven four years ago” PORTER!!

Dr. Samuel Collins knowing more about demon blood and its effects on vamps while being clueless about vampiric law

PLS CLOSEKNIT HAD TO MAKE A NOTES APP APOLOGY SAYING THAT THEY DONT KIDNAP DEMONS!! AND THEY WERE LYING TOO!! AND EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS IT???

BITE HIS ASS MILO!!! SICK EM!!

Again I know he is innocent but Christopher was a little too comfortable saying “my former king” so quickly…

WITHOUT A FUCKING SECOND OF HESITATION JUST DROP DEAD IMMEDIATELY

THE CRUNCH

ICKY

Also I know the entire Shaw Pack jumped back

STONE COLD DAVID LOVE TO SEE IT

Monarch Baz is so unimpressed I love her

The Game

AYEEE RIOT ACT!! HE SAID THE REDACTED AUDIO THING!!

Yeah that was grimy of William. Not that the king and prince of the Bennett house didn’t deserve it mind you. But taking their assets was kind of adding salt to the injury. (I gotta respect it tho! Gotta respect it!)

Also it raises the question does the house of Bennett still exist if both of their leaders are dead? Do they have someone who falls next in the line of succession?

Also I get that Vincent is like going through his world kind of crumbling down a little bit… but also… like I expected he would be a little more angry learning about the hand the house of Bennett had in helping Closeknit and basically sponsoring the Inversion?? Like that’s the event that killed your partner and gave you no choices other than turn them into a vampire forever and strip them of their powers or let them die. I thought we would see a little more relief that they are dead.

Also Vincent being all like “it was different with Adam” IN WHAT WAY BRO??? IN WHAT WAY??? Adam tortured your partner and I must restate the Bennetts pretty much sponsored the death of A THOUSANDS PEOPLE!! ONE OF WHICH WAS YOUR PARTNER!!! ITS THE SAME???

Wait… Porter was turned by a year old vamp? I HAVE EVEN MORE QUESTIONS ABUT WHY HE IS SO POWERFUL WITH MAGIC THEN!! WHAT IS THIS DUDES SECRET??

I hope that after hearing each other’s perspectives that this can bring Porter and Vincent closer together. Or at least make them hate each other less. I’m pretty sure it will, and I’m excited to see it.

Okay I genuinely don’t have too much to say about this video but one thing I will say is that it hits very close to home, in a very odd way. I could just be projecting and taking this the wrong way. However, I was the youngest child in my family, and I was too young to understand some of the stuff that happened around me or people tried to shelter me from it. Then when I was outright told the truth it kind of broke the way I viewed my life and the people in it, in a way that can’t really be fixed. So I feel that a lot through Vincent’s situation. Obviously not the same thing because my family isn’t centuries old vampires who have killed before and will kill again lmao. But that feeling of not knowing what to trust anymore, or what was real or what you just made up to make things fit the narrative that you were told. It hits pretty fucking deep.

(Am I over sharing on the internet? Possibly. But also it’s my blog so I can do whatever I want!)

Overall my thoughts areeee… While the summit wasn’t what I was expecting it was going to be I enjoyed it! It was refreshing to get some… possible moves on other storylines, some foreshadowing for ones that are going, and new information on characters!

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

There was a bit of a tiff that went down yesterday among some of my spnblr colleagues, and I'm not gonna really comment on that directly, suffice it to say I blocked the person involved ages ago bc they always act like this and I find it uncomfortable and unpleasant. But I think their behaviour is notable nc it's an example of a phenomena I've been noticing more and more lately, that I'm sure smarter and more attentive people than me have already described but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

It's essentially the belief that if you present yourself as the passive/receptive partner then your aggressive sexual advances are no big deal and just funny jokes. The obvious related thought is the idea that women can't harrass or sexually assault men, but it goes beyond that imo.

I saw a post just recently speculating on how it's funny to talk about how you want to have so muc sex if you're a bottom but if you're a top it's creepy and makes you sound like a predator which is like. Mind boggling to me in terms of the unexamined bullshit at play. And to be fair people on that post were quick to point out that using sexually aggressive language to describe what you want someone to do to you is just as much harrassment as the other way around, and that people are far too permissive of this kind of behaviour. No one made the inverse observation that "wanting to put your penis in someone" as stated in the post is not inherently creepy or sexually predatory.

Like, topping and bottoming are a morally neutral acts. I feel like this sentiment goes around once every few months but we have got to let go of the idea that penetration is inherently violent and dominating. Especially if the inverse belief is allowing people to excuse genuinely out of line behaviour because they think being the receptive partner somehow makes them inherently non-threatening.

I mean that was imo a not insignificant part of the recent booktok drama abt a woman essentially sexually harrassing a hockey player. And there was absolutely more going on, not least of which being her getting rewarded for her behaviour initially, but I think a big issue is that we kind of apply the "punching up" model to situations like this, her target was both a man and a celebrity, the balance of power tips heavily in his favour so her actions become permissible. And for some reason there's this continued perception of bottoming and topping carrying a power imbalance. But if booktok lady had been screaming at Hockey players that she wanted to fuck them in the ass, that wouldn't be any worse that yelling at them to fill all her holes. It's the same shit.

So like, if you say, have this habit of using extended graphic sexual metaphors about how, say, people disagreeing with you about a fictional character all want you to suck their huge dick so bad but you don't want to and actually their dick is super small and pathetic anyway. You haven't actually cracked the code of how to avoid being a creep bc it's your mouth and their cock and not vice versa. And when you start actually replying to people with shit like this instead of just keeping it to your own blog? Sorry but just because it's about how "Everyone Else" wants you to suck their fat dick doesn't distract from the fact that you are the one opening conversations with other people with graphic sexual language for no reason.

(You also can't pretend not to be body shaming with your countless small dick comments by saying that it's just a metaphor and you're talking about BEHAVING like you have a small dick plbt plbt plbt that's a fucking cop out answer for idiot cowards. You are talking about people "metaphorically" having a small dick as a stand in for being pathetic. "I'm not bodyshaming I'm just using having a body like this as a stand in for qualities I think are bad!" What a fucking joke. But I digress)

And like I genuinely think this person just thinks they're doing a funny bit, and I don't think they need to be canceled for it or w/e but I do feel we all need to reflect on our assumptions abt sex and accept that the rules don't change bc of gender, or submissiveness, or who's sticking what in who. Unsolicited sexual comments are unsolicited comments, and while I'm not gonna pretend that tumblr is a sacred space where we can't make jokes about screwing and dicks and balls, there's always a line, and you don't actually get a free pass to cross it by being an uwu submissive bottom so spank me daddy.

Also if you're gonna make an extended sexual metaphor about what arguing about the cw's supernatural is like, I guess go nuts show nuts but be aware that you are gonna be broadcasting your particular sexual hangups when you do. Personally I prefer to put them in my fanfiction and get embarrassed when someone points them out. But hey, different strokes.

[technovillain]

i love jameela to death so here’s some questions:

-after “fuck giving rich people dangerous technology” does she distance herself from technology entirely or does she keep making personal stuff and/or stuff that’s much harder to exploit? i think she could make some fucking awesome animal monitoring tech (like keeping track of individuals of endangered species, citizen volunteer data collection on bird populations and stuff)

-what’s her flavors of queer and/or neurodivergent

-does she ever end up doing missions or is she not super duper into the agent stuff

-is her dad a rich asshole or just oblivious and ignorant or a mix of the two

-how do you think she’d get along with some of the junior agents, especially norma, gisu, and sam

HI THIS ASK IS ANCIENT BUT I'VE BEEN HOLDING ONTO IT THINKING ABT IT MEANING TO ANSWER IT SO HERE WE GO. ALSO THANK U SOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE INSIGHTFUL QUESTIONS I LOVE THIS.

After that, she pretty much makes a vow to herself to never make a psychic invention again!!!! (....) and then time passes and she goes "Well just one little thing for myself." (....) "Okay just another for just myself." (.....) "Okay it's fine if I'm only making things for myself, even if it's a lot of things. I need technology." What you said there is Exactly the kind of stuff she'd be making too! While she takes a very loud approach to her activism, her approach to saving the world by trying to prevent the horrible future she saw is much more under the radar...mostly because she's still using the psychic technology that she built for herself but pretends that she didn't build at all because she said she swore it off! (She is constantly fighting herself in her own head about this lol.)

I haven't fully decided on this! But I would say that she is asexual and has OCD.

She really kind of functionally.... leaves the Psychonauts after a certain point. Like in a "You're always welcome to come back" kind of way. This is something that I still need to do more thinking on because I need to decide how I think the Psychonauts, being a government funded organization, would feel about psychic activism entering the public sphere.... But anyways yeah I see her leaving for an extended period but coming back when there is suddenly a mission that requires her assistance specifically (one involving Gusty and Veranda.)

I'd have to say he's definitely a mix of the two, leaning more towards the second one. I can't remember exactly how much detail I went into on her story and how it might have changed since I last posted about it (bc tumblr's tag search feature is functionally useless rip) BUT Dallas Delmarro is indeed a tech guru so while his concepts were birthed from those "childhood dreamer with a lot of big ideas" mindsets you always see in people like him, he ended up really focused on his company's bottom line. Business school changed this dude. He is still a pretty good dad considering everything. But considering he's a single father and his job pretty much consumes his life it is pretty easy to see why Jameela felt a strong need to get good at inventing things from a young age (cough cough so she would feel more important to him)

I like to picture these characters existing at the Motherlobe a few years after the events of Psychonauts 2, just so I don't have to think too hard about where they're at in regards to the plot of PN2. Just assuming that most of the big things regarding that plot have died down at this point. So all of the interns/junior agents from the game would be a few years older than Jameela when she gets there. I think she would probably like Norma okay from afar, but not really have any desire to become friends with her...because she can see how she gets. I think she would not know anything at all about Sam and be a little put off by her and not able to read her at all. She would totally be jealous of Gisu though. Because I see Gisu in a few years as working alongside Otto. And in Jameela's story, she came to the Motherlobe to work with Otto but something urgent came up regarding developing some sort of technology, and Sasha and him and Gisu were all working together to develop it. So Jameela doesn't really care for Gisu or Sasha just because they're interfering with her track to success.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

If i was in the marvel fandom in 2012 i would've been a major loki hater ngl. I started to warm up in the dark world. I know its controversial but i liked him in Ragnarok but then they killed him in infinity war im sfill mad abt

I like Loki a lot, and I liked him least in Avengers (2012). I watched the movies out of order at first (A1> T:TDW> Thor 1). I enjoyed him a lot in the Avengers, I was drawn to him because he's fun, but he also gave me second-hand embarrassment because he was just so arrogant yet got his ass handed to him(And I didn't know the backstory). I didn't think about Loki for a long time, until I watched T:TDW, where I fell head-over-heels for him. Without Loki, that movie would have felt like watching paint dry, so I felt especially grateful to Loki for that. That eventually got me to finally watch Thor 1. LOL. I enjoyed him in Ragnarok a lot, as well, and shipped him with Valkyrie, but I was not in the MCU fandom at the time (I was in another fandom). I am also still mad about Loki being killed off like that in IW!!!! Let's mourn!

Bear in mind I am biased towards antagonists and villains while reading this. This is my history of how I ended up obsessed with Marvel's Loki. And I am not sure if I should tag this post as "anti Thor" because I mention my extreme dislike of Thor from the past (and reasons). But I mention at the very end he grew on me. It's up to you if you keep reading.

The first time I saw Marvel's Loki, it was on a Hulk v. Thor cartoon on Netflix. Loki looks like an evil DILF in there. And Hela is a hot giant goth lady. I remember I googled norse mythology for the first time because up until then, I had thought "Son of the Mask" made up Loki, and I wanted to learn more about Hela (Hel). And I learned about Sleipnir and how hilarious myth!Loki was.

I found cartoon Thor annoying because he felt too perfect, and that's the kind of character that grates my nerves. And he survived thanks to a kiss from Amora, ugh, that's so dumb. I didn't go to watch Thor (2011) for the longest time because Thor just annoyed me because he felt too perfect and Gary Stu-ish in that cartoon.

And the comics I read at the time, specifically for Loki, made me dislike Thor more because they were like "Thor is the FUCKING BEST! AND ALL THESE SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN WANT TO FUCK HIM. BLEH BLEH. "(I was reading some omnibus by Matt Fraction on readcomicsonline). But I was more of a lurker in fandom, with no tumblr account, so I didn't express it.

And it annoyed me that some Marvel re-tellings of the myths (think it was Ages of Thunder) substituted Loki's cleverness (that saved him in the myths) for Thor being merciful or coming to the rescue. And they'd make Loki not only much eviler, but also dumber than in the myths when scheming and wprd-play is supposed to be his thing. Like, let Loki have something! You don't even have to write it because the myth you're adapting is there already! And ugh. Like no offense to anyone, but I don't really feel bad over Loki being so popular because those comics that existed for 5-6 decades annoyed the fuck out of me.

Also, at the time, a bunch of comic book nerds and dudebros would lose their shit over Loki's popularity. And Loki would be the subject of really fucked up homophobic jokes in parodies (*cough* The Key of Awesome).

Thor started growing on me in Ragnarok, IW (coolest Thor), and EG (EG!Thor is my fave because he's just so sad and I love sad men). And he was actually not Gary Stu-ish in Thor 1, I just didn't appreciate it at the time (unlike in other Marvel media). So I definitely like MCU!Thor way more than in many of his comics runs.

I also feel like I have different Thor and Loki preferences than most of the fandom, because I was a lurker and didn't interact with the fandom until 2022 and then making this blog, thanks to the Loki series bringing back my Loki phase.

[hazbincalifornia]

(I’m pretty sure the way I type is recognizable but I need to like pretend at anonymity bc I feel. Remarkably silly about this)

I wanted to like idk rant to someone in the HB fandom who isn’t balls deep in the “anti proship” sphere bc like, I’ve been struggling w guilt over enjoying a certain ship that everyone hates and considers problematic (I think Loona and Octavia is rlly cute!) and I’d like to make content for it but I also rlly fear being seen as like a pedophile. Do u ever worry abt that kind of thing? And is there anyway ur able to get over it if u do? I don’t like getting into anti/anti anti discourse bc I feel like it’s a very reductive way to view and interpret media but I still have a crazy amount of worry/guilt

First off, it is still ridiculous to me that this is even a problem in this fandom. This is an adult show about characters in Hell, and the main characters are, respectively, assassins and the eclectic cast of the Hotel which includes a cannibal serial killer. (I am eternally both amused and completely baffled that like half the awful puritanical takes I see are from Val icons. Buddy. Pal. The fucked up fiction is coming from inside the house.) I saw waaaaay more fucked up shit on Zim nsfw twitter than I see on Hellaverse twitter and that show was Y7. Up your game, guys.

Personally, I don't really see Loona and Via as siblings/sisters as much as I think a lot of others do, more just friends (and honestly I think canon moved much too quickly to give them such a heartfelt scene together, they hadn't even met officially before that point?) so it's really only the age thing and even then, the plot of HB has seemed to imply that a fair amount of time has passed since the series started, probably around a year- so Via would be 18 or older by the time anything actually started anyway, especially if they became friends first. Setting aside the 'justification' though... they're not real. They're cute together, I agree, and I think you should be perfectly fine enjoying them just in the lens of 'they're similar, I like how they'd interact, and I think they're cute together'!

I was pretty much forged in my opinions about this from Invader Zim stuff, where people insisted that liking two characters that I'd liked together since I was thirteen made you a pedophile. Obviously, I could tell that wasn't true, because it had never been the case in all those years up to people starting to be bitchy about it in 2019. (Before that, it was that it was bad because it was enemies to lovers and, more importantly, gay. Great hater throne to inherit, guys!)

Unfortunately... as stupid as it is, this fandom is way more puritanical than it should be, so it wouldn't be wrong to engage through anonymity to protect yourself. Find the people in the tag who are using 'proship/proship interact' or something along those lines (I've seen a few, although some tend to lean more on hard/dead dove content), post on ao3 into the anonymous collection which removes your name, make a tumblr sideblog that doesn't connect to your main, find fellow shippers and interact with them specifically. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe from people who can't understand that thinking something is cute or interesting to explore in fiction is automatically bad just because they don't like it. The more stuff that's put out there about the ship, the more likely you are to find kindred spirits, that's honestly part of how I gathered my mpreg weirdos to me in both this fandom and the last.

I'm pretty sure that the callout I got for Sunny was why several mutuals who were a friend group unfollowed (and likely muted) me on twitter. Unfortunately, it left me worrying that the other shoe was going to drop any day for about a week because it got just enough notes to make me worry but not enough to get to anyone with any real reach to spread and get it 'over with'.

At this point, I've sort of reached a state of 'fuck it', because if it happens, it happens. I know that I'm fine, and the people I genuinely care about know that too. I know that what I'm making is entirely separate from my morals as a person, if not from how dumb the IZ stuff was than from the fact that I was an English major. Literature is full of stuff that authors don't make as a 1:1 with their real-life morals! And the one you're thinking about isn't 'bad' comparatively at all.

I think the fandom is starting to see that being a dick about fictional content is bad through the backlash to Poison and 'hey, maybe telling somebody that they need to detail their trauma to the public to make fiction is bad?', but it seems to mostly be centered on dub/noncon, so I wouldn't necessarily hold my breath.

At the end of the day though, remember this: You, as a person, are completely fine, no matter what others might think. Octavia and Loona would probably be seen as a totally normal ship like ten years ago (except for people who'd be dicks about them being gay) and there is no judgement to be made on your character in any reasonable way for thinking they're a good ship. You're not a pedophile for thinking a fictional owl and hellhound look cute together, any more than I was for smacking together two Nicktoon characters, and frankly the IZ argument held slightly more water than 'the almost-18-year-old and the 22-year-old' because Zim's age was so ambigious. Try explaining this 'people think the young adult animals holding hands are bad' to any adult who isn't sucked into fandom discourse and they'd probably be baffled that it's a problem.

I know that the guilty feelings aren't always rational and it took a bit of time for me to unwind how I felt about creating certain stuff too, but try to remember that above all else- exploring things in fiction has been a thing people have done for a very, very long time. What matters is your actions towards other real people, not what you do with fictional dolls.

If nothing else, if you want you can always send me a dm and chat that way, I'd be happy to talk.

[g4rchomp]

sorry for being the billionth person making a post abt barbie. also sorry this post is sooo long I have a lot to say. disclaimer: I am saying words recreationally, don't take any of this too seriously pls!!

a strongly anticapitalist feminist friend invited me to see the movie in a theatre. I was intrigued as to why she would suggest that so I accepted. she said she invited me bc she wanted to see how I would react and what I would think, which I find funny lol

good movie to discuss with friends and people you know in real life around a drink etc. but NOT on the internet. (this is perhaps the most important point I really want to stress that)

any criticism of mattel by mattel (who pockets revenues from the movie) has no value to me

great movie to practice your hater skills. the balance of good stuff and bad stuff is amazing to keep your haterism skills sharp lol

my biggest gripes with the movie

I don't like how Sasha's character (pre-teen who hates barbie and seems to dislike her mom but gets closer to her during the movie) was handled.

First, her very factual and true concerns over capitalism and self-image related to barbie are never explored or taken into actual consideration. throughout the movie she's urged to understand her mother more but her efforts are not reciprocated.

Second, I am sooo deeply tired of teens being depicted as angry for no reasons. like wooow you're growing up and now you hate me, your super cool and understanding mother :((( it's always deeper than this if your kid dislikes you. this stuff always get an eye roll from me sorry

overall the feminism sucked so just quickly: patriarchy is presented as an individual force rather than a systemic one, no mention of race/age/class/sexual orientation etc. etc. etc. only misogyny but the world doesn't work like that

on that topic btw I didn't like how weird barbie (virtually the only gnc barbie) is only here to repair other barbies and make them whole again and doesn't exist outside of that. how fitting lollll

also seeing sasha go from 'I hate barbie and societal expectations' to 'barbie is my friend I'm wearing pink now' was kinda sad. gnc girls and girls who aren't girls I love you. in itself this trajectory isn't necessarily bad but on a personal level it just felt wrong.

it is an ok point of entry/conversation starters for feminist concerns if you're really on ground 0

forever my biggest gripe with the movie is how marketed it was and how it's made to sell me products. any feminism that attempts to grab my wallet isn't feminism I'm interested in

three really distasteful moments that stood out to me:

indigenous catching smallpox joke -> just shut the fuck up incredibly inappropriate and violent.

'to show how our character becomes human, we show she's going to the obgyn hihi' not funny didn't laugh it felt bioessentialist and to have it be the closing scene of the movie was just a bad move (to me at least but more on that later lol)

'margot robbie might not be the best person to deliver a message about how women shouldn't feel pressure to feel beautiful hihi' yeah she's not. congrats on making money by centering a beautiful skinny white woman and telling the audience you did it on purpose

lighthearted stuff

the music was fun I like how they used it throughout the movie

the costumes looked good, the film was pretty and I liked the acting it looked like they had fun filming

it was a real 'oh I get it now' moment when I saw 2ft margot robbie on the screen. she is attractive I can see it now

not related but it was kinda like straight people camp lol

the final scene (aka my other biggest gripe with the movie but it gets a section to itself)

women go to the obgyn hihihihi. ok first of all cool welcome to one of the most central sphere to violence against women. second going to the obgyn isn't a universal experience for women for many, many reasons. third ig it was a joke that fits the humorous tone of the movie but it didn't land for me.

ALSO. they already had the perfect ending (imo) with the pink birkenstocks!! early in the movie she has to make a choice between pretty pink heels and ugly brown sandals. we see her at the end wearing pink sandals. having her picking her new shoes would show she journey she's been on much better than the obgyn joke imo!!!

Anyways here are my thoughts. I'd be interested to know what you think abt these points or if you felt this way when watching the movie too, although honestly I feel like online settings are less than ideals to talk abt that. I wouldn't say I hated the movie (despite what the post might suggest lol) I don't regret seeing it. at least the movie made me want to talk about it and clarify some feelings I have after watching it, which is always something even if I disliked many things abt it!