#just rewatching uwma and having thoughts

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

I saw the @slayerkitty list of comfort shows listing Until We Meet again first and it made me want to rewatch it.

And man, that first scene. It's not super obvious the first or even second time you watch it, but Kao is doing such an amazing job as Korn.

Because the thing is, Korn is suicidal, he had been suicidal before he meet In. It's been a possibility in the back of his mind for years. He probably didn't stop because of his brothers, because it was enough to just think of them, later of In. But then in the moment, it's like he gives in into it. Like suddenly it becomes the only way he and In can be free. Like the thing that always stopped him before are just not enough. You can see the moment it becomes the only thing in his mind.

I just noticed but I think Korn goes to look for the gun. He knows it's there. At first viewing you could think that it's spur of the moment, he sees the gun and decides to grab it. But I don't think that is it. I think he was sure he was gonna die before he even goes to his knees to say sorry to his dad. He moves so quick towards the gun. His eyes widen a little not in suprise but more like self resolve. He knows his father has guns, probably knows where he puts it. How long as he been hyperware of his father's guns? How many bad nights and bad days did he spend thinking about how easy it would be to reach for one of them?

I never acrtually self harmed, but there was a period there, a couple of years were I was hyperware of the fact that we have knives in the house. That I could do it. That it on the edges, floating close to me. I am not in that place anymore but for a while there was truly on bad event away from doing it, taking the jump, for not doing that to my family to not be enough to stop to me.

Does his brother know. Did he ever just not told his own son where he put his gun just so he would never have to think about it.

The things I love the most about this storyline is both that Korn feels at peace in that moment. And the fact that the ripple effects of the suicide are so prevelent and so loud. It's broken families, and broken friends and trauma that literally followed them both on their next lives.

There is also something so comforting about Dean being Korn next life. About Dean being steadfast and self assured and secure in his love for Pharm. It's healing. IDK if I can explain why.

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: Until We Meet Again Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. In a LONG POST, I’m writing today about New Siwaj’s incomparable drama, Until We Meet Again.]

TW: suicide, suicidal ideation, psychological trauma

Gah. I am so psyched to be finally sitting down to write my thoughts on Until We Meet Again, but I’m actually at a bit of a loss on where to start. There is SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

I think, where I can start, is to first say that this was, in my opinion, AN ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR SHOW. I did NOT expect this, at all. I’ve been around the way with New Siwaj, the UWMA screenwriter and director, a few times now for the OGMMTVC -- his writing on Love Sick, his work with Cheewin on Make It Right, and his work on MAME’s novel in Love By Chance have all been on the OGMMTVC list. I know that Between Us, the UMWA WinTeam continuation, was considered mostly a let-down for weak writing, and that New’s more recent shows, including A Boss and a Babe and Double Savage, were viewed quite critically (although I am a Double Savage apologist, for which I’ll explain my viewpoints later in this post). 

So. What I did not expect from 2019′s UWMA was to experience so many layers in a drama à la the work of Aof Noppharnach. Yes, I cannot believe I’m going here, to compare a New Siwaj drama to Aof’s oeuvre, but damn if I will, because good lord, New took his magic hat of tricks, pulled out THE GOOD STUFF, and made it all work. 

This is a list of themes that I saw in UWMA, that will help me structure this long write-up, but by no means should it be considered complete, as I’m sure I’m missing themes that you all likely caught in your watches and re-watches:

1) A new narrative structure for New -- balancing the impact of side couples by leveraging focus, equally, on two MAIN couples 2) The continuation and end of the 2019 trend of reincarnation and spiritual connections to love 3) Intergenerational queer trauma (micro-level) 4) Generational acceptance of queerness (macro-level) 5) Food and its Proustian effect on memory 6) Reflections on filial piety and the devastating effects of expectations -- and how children and parents seek redemption, particularly in New’s work

And before I even dive into THIS list, can I just say: MY GOD, FLUKE AND OHM. And Earth and Kao! But FLUKE AND OHM. Jesus, does New have an eye for talent -- from the Make It Right guys, to Perth and Saint, and then to Fluke and Ohm. I was seriously TAKEN with their chemistry. I did hear from a number of folks during my UWMA live-blogging that they can’t rewatch UWMA because of Fluke/Pharm’s rendition of the blushing maiden trope, but for my tastes -- I think the way he rendered the trope was really necessary to communicating Intouch’s story, history, and emotions, and just -- Fluke just ATE this role, my gawd. And Ohm/Dean responding in kind vis à vis Korn’s regret. YOW. It’s been a few days since I finished the show, in a total RUSH of drama hunger, and I’m still shaking my head and MARVELING at their performance.

Okay, back to the themes list. So, early in my Thai BL journey in the fall of 2022, after I had watched KinnPorsche and The Eclipse as my first two Thai BLs, I watched A Tale of Thousand Stars (way before the OGMMTVC was born), and noted that I appreciated the lack of side couples in the ATOTS storyline. I now realize, through the OGMMTVC, that side couples are both a BL trope and a byproduct of the drama styles from which BLs were born, the ensemble-based dramas like Love Sick, Senior Secret Love, and Kiss/Kiss Me Again.

New’s Make It Right -- while beloved in my heart, for the chaotic duos of TeeFuse and FrameBook -- WAS messy, with all the other couple stuff happening around it. That, along with Love By Chance, made me wonder -- why do BLs that center fabulous dyads with sizzling chemistry take away from that energy with all the side couple action? Even Together With Me, a non-New Siwaj and non-GMMTV drama, got sidelined in part with a VERY questionable side couple plot in BrightFarm.

Reflecting back on KP and The Eclipse, I had that question in mind as I started UWMA, and wondered where the Alex and WinTeam storylines were going to go. But, frankly, I ended up appreciating what NEEDED to happen with DeanPharm and KornIntouch, because -- the original novel storyline clearly demanded that these two couples, who were NOT side couples, but MAIN couples, needed a MAIN spotlight for their collective story to be told. @clairificusrex mentioned in a liveblog comment (THANK YOU, LOVELY HUMAN!) that New Siwaj benefitted in the screenplay from having a wonderful original novel to work with, and while I don’t read Y Series canon, I can only imagine that this was indeed the case.

So, New, in order to hew to the novel, had to perhaps hold back his usual instincts to muss up the main couple vibe, by centering DeanPharm and KornIntouch. With that control necessary to the story -- I think the narrative STRUCTURE of the drama just blew open. It was FASCINATING, it drew me in, and the structure allowed for another New predilection to be leveraged WELL, in his love for flashbacks. @lurkingshan, you mentioned that your taste wasn’t necessarily aligned with New’s fancy for flashbacks, which I totally understand -- I think flashbacks hurt the overall narrative structure of Double Savage earlier this year. But I think, here for UMWA, they were necessary, and I might very well be apologetic to that considering what I DID see in Double Savage by way of the story that New ended up screenwriting over there in regards to intergenerational family trauma (again, more on this later in the post).

This narrative structure lent itself handily to the next four themes on this list, all of which deal in memory, in spiritual roots, and/or in the generational passage and inheritance of trauma and emotion. 2019, as we know now, was a big year for shows themed around Thai spiritual culture and/or reincarnation. We have He’s Coming To Me, we have Dew the Movie -- we have art here, queer-centered art, that does not lend itself to happy endings, that depicts, through reincarnation or, in the case of HCTM, a ghostly purgatory, how DIFFICULT it had been to be comfortably queer and/or openly out in past and present Thailand.

And then UWMA comes along, telling TWO generational stories, intertwined by the red thread, but also, in the words of the WONDERFUL @bengiyo, connected by Korn and Intouch’s intergenerational queer trauma, the most PERFECT coinage of a theme for this show. In 1988, when Korn and Intouch die, they cannot be out. They cannot even be SECRETLY in love. Their bad dads use the foulest of language to describe their love (much like Phop’s dad in Dew). And Korn kills himself, and Intouch follows.

And what we learn, through Dean and Pharm, are the emotions, the regrets, the LEARNED BEHAVIOR that Korn and Intouch have picked up on in the afterlife, embedded in Dean and Pharm, that keeps Korn and Intouch’s love alive, with CORRECTIONS and ADJUSTMENTS made by Dean and Pharm that reflect on how not only Korn and Intouch’s love has changed and improved, but also how Dean and Pharm are learning how to love EACH OTHER, themselves, as they adjust to their OWN belonging to each other, in Pharm’s own words. GAH -- my aching heart. (Thank you to @lurkingshan for talking this through with me early on in my UWMA watch.)

I mean. THE DEPTH OF THIS. Intouch is a terrible cook, and Pharm is like, a restaurant-level chef?! Pharm is so resistant, and Dean is so FORWARD? (OHM THITIWAT, GAH!!!) (Listen. Pharm. P’Deeeean can grab MY butt, okay?) (See what I did there, @lurkingshan and @bengiyo? THANK YOOOOUU.)

And Pharm’s blushing maiden approach. Yes, I will also admit, that sometimes, it was a little cringey. But I think the blushing maiden trope was really necessary to the story -- ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT of Intouch’s anger, ciphered through Pharm in the last episode. And I think that Fluke Natouch ultimately rendered the trope beautifully -- again, especially against the gorgeous ending of the show. Oh, THAT CONDO SCENE, PEOPLE. I LOST IT. 

Of course, Intouch would want to hold back through Pharm in the present day. If Intouch DIDN’T hold back vis à vis Pharm -- he might lose Korn again, if Pharm missteps with Dean. Intouch may have felt that HIS forwardness lent to their troubles -- so Intouch holds back, through Pharm. And Intouch ultimately communicates his love for Korn differently in the afterlife, more hesitantly -- through a resistance to intimacy, and through food and cooking in Pharm, which itself was another amazing move in this show.

Listen. Even my pinned post says what I value in dramas, not just in BLs. You give me food in BL, and I give you my heart. But also, let’s talk about the meaning of food in Asian dramas for a second. It’s no coincidence that MANY Asian dramas and doramas center food, including my favorite BL of all time, Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?. If you don’t know Asians, of any ilk -- let me make a BROAD continental and sub-continental judgement. ALL WE THINK ABOUT IS FOOD, lol. While I’m with my family, while I’m working, while I’m writing meta -- I’m thinking about food, I’m thinking about what I want to cook, what I want to order, how I can mix the cuisines I love (Thai-Indian curries, anyone? YUM). Malaysians literally boast about having multiple meals, way past three meals, a day. We Asians are proud of our cuisines, and we want y’all to be EATING, A LOT, and to try all our dishes. (ITSAY, your Hokkien mee is calling me...) 

But, also: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. Let me say it again: FOOD MEANS FAMILY. You FEED the people you LOVE, with delicious food. Shiro and Kenji. Kurosawa and Adachi. The guys in Jack o’Frost. The guys in The Eighth Sense. Omg, even Kinn and Porsche. We’re seeing it in Tokyo In April Is... And Pharm, to Dean, Intouch to Korn.

And BESIDES Intouch/Pharm becoming a great cook, GOD, the story ALSO INCLUDED the Proustian reference of the madeleine and involuntary memory -- but in SUCH a stunning way, as to RECALL DEAN’S FAMILIAL MEMORY of eating his grandmother’s Thai desserts -- his grandmother, Intouch’s sister, and how Dean could get an indirect spotlight into Intouch and a depth of an understanding of Intouch’s happiness besides his love for Korn. And how Pharm EMBODIED that love for Thai desserts through Intouch’s family lineage. Oh, just get me MESSY, PEOPLE. FUCKING GENIUS SHIT. 

Memory on memory on memory. Dream on dream, nightmare on nightmare, tears and red threads, inherited trauma, intergenerational trauma. The micro-level of what Dean and Pharm had to live with on a daily basis in their recollections of Korn and Intouch. The macro-level of what Pharm and Dean experienced when all of their parents accepted them for who they were as queer individuals, and their partners, as well. How Dean’s dad could ACTUALLY RELATE to Dean himself, because Dean’s dad had been rejected by Dean’s mother’s family. And how that ALLOWED Dean’s dad to accept Dean and his choice to be with Pharm. How that trauma was relieved, how Dean and Pharm DID NOT HAVE TO PHYSICALLY RELIVE what Korn and Intouch had gone through, and how those involuntary memories that Dean and Pharm carried vis à vis Korn and Intouch traumatized them until Dean and Pharm could RECEIVE their OWN familial acceptance.

The LAYERS OF THIS SHOW. Before I get to the last theme on my list, I really just need to metaphorically slam my palms on an allegorical table and give New Siwaj a huge hug, because THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY TO PROCESS ALL AT ONCE, and I can’t wait to do a UWMA rewatch to try to catch more (and I’ll likely need to write another meta, ha, when I do that). I mean, again, just to use food as an example of a kind of storytelling TOOL to INDICATE memory, especially in the context of lost and found love, of intergenerational trauma and relieving regret -- BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT.

And. The last theme on the list, the theme of filial piety, of Asian family systems and devotion and loyalty and expectations, and the devastating effects on the micro-individual level (and even the macro-social level as well) that those expectations can have. 

So, I watched Double Savage, screenwritten by New Siwaj, out of order from UWMA. Very quickly, since many of you have likely NOT watched Double Savage because it’s not a BL (but it DID have Ohm Pawat and Perth Tanapon in a hose-off scene -- you can’t take the New Siwaj out of New Siwaj, amirite): Double Savage is about Korn (Ohm P.), a middle son who is branded a jinx by a HORRENDOUS Thai-Chinese father, and how the abuse leveled on Korn by his dad has intergenerational ripple effects across their family and community. 

Let’s break this down. I now know that New Siwaj does bad dads from Thai-Chinese lineage very well. UWMA’s Korn is expected to take over a mafia business. His dad is disapproving that Korn doesn’t want to take over the business -- which is an UNQUESTIONABLE and EMBEDDED expectation in most Asian family lineages (hello, Jeng and Step By Step) -- AND Korn’s dad is ALSO disapproving in Korn’s love for Intouch and vice versa. Separately, Intouch’s dad is disapproving that Intouch is in love with Korn, a mafia scion. 

Modern times are modern for a reason. 1988 was 31 years from 2019. I want to emphasize here the understanding that Korn and Intouch likely had -- that besides running away, there was no other existence for them to be together than to kill themselves and be together in the afterlife. And running away, and still living and existing, would have been a guilt-ridden and dangerous existence, for what Asian children are expected to do and live for vis à vis their parents. Korn likely HAD NO OTHER IMAGINATION for a life that he could live OTHER THAN to take over his father’s business and to be a heteronormative adult in the late 1980s. And, to top that all off, both of their dads were fucking assholes. 

I really liked how this was juxtaposed to the relationship between Dean and his father. Dean was clearly set up to be as stubborn as his dad. Meaning, at least to me -- that Dean was FAR less likely to be told what to do by his dad, that Dean would and maybe COULD, stand up to his dad. We didn’t see it happen, but I could have imagined Dean not accepting “no” for an answer from his dad to accept Pharm. (Makes you think about Pat, Pran, and Ming, no?) Dean had Korn in him. Dean/Korn was NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT SHIT AGAIN, and that was CLEAR. I want to emphasize: THAT’S BIG. That was BIG on New Siwaj and the UWMA novel writer to include that in the story. That’s parental defiance. That needed to happen in order for Dean and Pharm to survive. As an Asian, that gives me a kick of welcome energy.

But I also really want to note what New Siwaj did at the end of the show, something so deft, it might have left non-Asian viewers wondering what was going on. In the condo scene, Dean and Pharm are ciphering Korn and Intouch -- and when Korn’s father shows up in the wheelchair, Korn’s father knows what’s happening.

And Korn apologizes to his dad. Korn had already apologized to Intouch, but Korn also apologizes to his dad, and to his brother, and to his nephew in Sin. This really gets me, y’all, I understand this as an Asian. Korn is APOLOGIZING for the PAIN he caused in his family AND in Intouch, because -- filial piety. He knows what he did to himself was devastating to the Asian family system he was born into, to the Asian society he was born into, and he apologized for the suicide he committed unto himself that caused that extra-social pain. 

Like. As crazy as that sounds, it’s also an INCREDIBLY SOPHISTICATED way to ACKNOWLEDGE that Korn had broached a social boundary, and Intouch had followed him. THAT IS A HELL OF A LAYER TO ADD TO THIS STORY, ONE THAT I DID NOT EXPECT, and that SHOOK ME at the end of this series.

A similar situation happened in Double Savage. Despite the horrendous psychological abuse that Double Savage’s Korn received from his father -- an adult Korn ends up apologizing to his father for the trouble that HE may have caused. Now, what I appreciated about Double Savage was that THAT dad was like -- no, no, *I* should be the one apologizing. BUT, I want to indicate and emphasize here, that BOTH storylines acknowledge that Asian children NEED to know, SHOULD know, ARE BORN TO KNOW, that their actions have collective effects on a wider family system. We are born to understand and think like that. We are not dealing with an individualist Western perspective here. (I literally FLIPPED when I realized that New Siwaj has had MULTIPLE CHARACTERS NAMED KORN APOLOGIZING TO BAD DADS, and I’m an Asian over here UNDERSTANDING WHY, and I’m just like, pfffftt GGGAAAHHHH.)

Why am I harping on this? BECAUSE: vis à vis EVERYTHING ELSE that is lineage-based in this story -- from children being born, to intergenerational trauma, to reincarnation -- UWMA is structured around an über-macro theme of worlds being linked, by threads, by genes, by history, by spirit, by trauma. We are collectively linked. Babies are born -- we saw many babies in this show. Children belong to families. Lovers belong to lovers. Dean PHYSICALLY belongs to Intouch’s family, and Pharm to Korn’s family. A happy existence will be when a family accepts a child’s partner. Happiness is in a family growing, not a family shrinking. Warmth and growth and love happens when a happy family sits at a table and eats together. 

As Pharm says at the end of the show -- oh, my HEART -- “I belong to Dean.” Yes, you do -- because you have become Dean’s family, and Dean has become Pharm’s family. Korn’s family BELONGS to Intouch’s family, and vice versa. They are destined, MEANT to be linked together, AND TO BE FAMILY, ALL TOGETHER.

Kurosawa and Adachi become family in the Cherry Magic movie. WDYEY’s Shiro and Kenji become family by way of living and eating together. Even if BBS’s Ming doesn’t acknowledge Pran -- Pran is Ming’s family. LOVE. MAKES. FAMILY.

What Korn apologized for was the impact his decision had on his family — WHILE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH INTOUCH, WHO KORN’S FAMILY WAS NOT ALLOWING KORN TO MAKE AS KORN’S NEW FAMILY in the 1980s. Korn was able to apologize in the afterlife — BECAUSE Dean and Pharm DID WHAT HE AND INTOUCH COULD NOT DO, by way of generations, by way of family acceptance, by way of inherited trauma and STOPPING that inherited trauma in its tracks -- very much like Pat and Pran banding together and doing the same for themselves. Dean and Pharm did the hard work of making the relationship a real one, in every aspect of their intimate, micro-level family lives, to a public, external existence in the world. Korn could FINALLY experience the release of GUILT he had towards Intouch and towards Korn’s family, now that Korn’s love for Intouch could FINALLY flourish outside the constraints of filial piety through Dean. THIS IS HUGE. I have no words to tell you what the BRILLIANCE of this means to me as an Asian. LOVE MAKES FAMILY, and LOVE THAT IS ALLOWED TO FLOURISH GIVES YOU THE RELEASE TO BE YOUR TRUE SELF. 

Dean had learned from the inherited trauma that he got from Korn that he needed to stop the trauma train in his tracks, and he did, and he confronted his father, and his father blessed the union of Dean and Pharm. When Dean took the gun away from Pharm, and embraced Pharm, Korn and Intouch KNEW that they could finally be safe in the afterlife. Dean and Pharm were the ciphers that finally ALLOWED Korn and Intouch to exist happily together in spirit. Korn, especially, could exist freely, now that he was relieved of his guilt. Dean and Pharm were, LITERALLY, Korn and Intouch’s FAMILY -- the FAMILY that ALLOWED the FINAL RELEASE for Korn and Intouch to be together as their true selves and spirits. 

And Dean and Pharm confirmed that in FRONT of the family member, in Korn’s father, that had originally caused all this pain. The intricate layers, communicated to a primarily Asian audience, of Korn apologizing to his father, and then of Dean embracing Pharm and confirming their love AND Korn and Intouch’s love, in front of that former barrier -- that is GROWTH and FLOURISHING in the face of generational defiance, and about as sophisticated and eloquent a communication of familial transcendence as I could possibly imagine seeing in Asian drama art. WHOA. I’m a little out of breath with this.

Wow. And speaking of being one’s true self: I deeply loved that Dean and Pharm took a three-month break. I loved that Pharm was smart and strong enough to demand a break to understand if DEAN and PHARM -- INDEPENDENT of ANYTHING they had INHERITED from ANYONE -- actually loved each other and belonged together. Fuck. Pharm was like, no -- this one’s on me. I need to see, outside of ANY INFLUENCES, FROM ANYONE, ANYWHERE -- if I love Dean, if Dean loves me, and if we belong together. Brave. Badass.

AND, I truly loved how Korn and Intouch -- DEAN AND PHARM’S FAMILY -- came BACK to Dean and Pharm’s dreams to offer thanks. I loved how, in the end, the past and his family came back to give Pharm that little contextual nudge to say to Pharm, it’s okay to love Dean for Dean, AND to love how you two came together, through Korn and Intouch. And Pharm could acknowledge, finally, that he belonged to Dean. God damn.

This story was so multilayered, SO complex, SO filled with a respect for love at its highest and most complicated levels. This story was filled with CRITICAL SCRUTINY towards Asian family systems and the trauma that those systems can render. This story was filled with an acknowledgement for the power of LOVE that those same family systems can offer unto children who NEED pillars of love and support (Pharm’s mom and brother, badasses!). 

Y’ALL. I just, I DID NOT KNOW that New Siwaj could DO THIS! I know that UWMA is considered his best show, but like, this is his best show BY A LOT, A LOT. Double Savage, in contrast, had a lot of narrative and structural issues that detracted from the core stories of filial piety that were ultimately very important to tell. 

UWMA did not fall into that trap. It was SMART, it MOVED (FOR SEVENTEEN EPISODES! I SLAMMED THIS SERIES! I could have watched MORE, I cannot believe I’m SAYING THAT!), it was. It was just BRILLIANT. It was an ode to romantic love, to family love, to the power of memory. In 2019, it joined He’s Coming To Me in a burgeoning echelon of cinema-influenced BLs in storytelling, soon to be joined by I Told Sunset About You, ATOTS, and others. It took the sad endings of He’s Coming To Me and Dew the Movie and said -- not today. Today, we will let love LIVE, let QUEER LOVE live, in REAL LIFE, in REAL TIME, and we will not let our lovers live in regret. We will take queer love, we will give queer love FAMILY, and we will give it the HONOR IT DESERVES.

Until We Meet Again is a must-watch of the highest order, and goes on the shortlist of shows that I will refer to as one that makes me proud to be an Asian. It was easily one of the most important shows I’ve watched in this project. All credit to New, Fluke, Ohm, Earth, and Kao for a PHENOMENAL experience -- my heart and mind have been bettered because of this show. 

[FLUKE. AND. OHM. Fluke and Singto coming thru in Shadow the Series? Sign me the FUCK up. Actors on actors. WOW. Did UWMA ever introduce me to another crop of dudes who can fucking tear up a screen. I had SO much fun watching UWMA, whew!

And, yep. I had to follow this up with 2gether, ha. I’m going to spare myself a little pain, if y’all don’t mind, and combine my write-up of 2gether with Still 2gether. I know there’s a lot to be said about the lack of intimacy in 2G, which I can’t wait to dive into, but I can’t help but to also run into another wall of analysis with dear P’Aof’s work in S2G. I’ll make it all work!

After I get myself together with 2gether (HA) -- it’s ITSAY time. I will be planning on watching ITSAY TWICE before writing, as I’m preparing myself to catch EVERYTHING I can before I pen words. Stay tuned.

Status of the list below. As always -- if you have feedback, send it my way!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020)  17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (watching) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 29) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 30) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 31) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 32) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 33) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 34) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 35) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 36) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

People I Want to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @twig-tea. Thank you, I hope my Watchlist quenches your curiosity!

Last Song: About Time by D.O. I've been listening to his albums a lot recently and every time I still feel my breath catch a little at his voice.

Favourite Colour: I keep saying it's blue (and it is) but I somehow keep ending up buying things that are either pink or yellow so.....

Currently Watching:

- My Sweet Mobster (when a rom-com advocates for réhabilitation rather than punishment... it works surprisingly well)

- The Trainee (in love with the series and the characters, a potential new favourite)

- Century of Love (really enjoying it but I need to catch up to it because I got distracted by:)

- Knock Knock Boys (the GIFs worked, I couldn't not check this out and I binged it in 2 days, I would fight for Latte's happiness).

- Shogun (Henry Blackthorn annoys me so much BUT at least it's as a person rather than as a character so the writing is solid)

- Spy X Family (pure joy in 25 minute blocks)

I tried out Serendipity's Embrace yesterday but it didn't feel like something I'd enjoy so that's moving to my "not interested" pile.

I also have planned binges for Bangkok Blossom, The Glory (S1 and 2) and The Crowned Clown to try and clear some of my To Watch list.

Last Movie: I don't watch many movies at all BUT I did recently watch Moonlit Winter and all I can say is watch it watch it watch it. I actually cried, not sad tears, but happy cathartic tears because of how beautifully the movie portrayed the relationship between the mother and daughter.

Otherwise it would have been Inside Out 2, which I can now recommend as an excellent educational tool to use for kids just about to experience puberty and all the new emotions that come with it.

Currently Reading:

Ancestors: A Prehistory of Britain in 7 Burials by Professor Alice Roberts. And look, I know it sounds dry but it's really well written, covers eras of history there is still very little known about, and has an excellent chapter in which the author dismantles TERF and gender essentialist talking points using archaeology.

I've also just finished Spy X Family vol. 11 (now waiting for vol. 12) and I'm about to start Twilight Out of Focus (I can't watch the anime until I've read the manga) and read Red Thread vol. 2 (the manga based on UWMA).

Sweet, Spicy or Savoury?: Sweet unless it's a meal.

Relationship: Actively single

Current Obsession: My cat and also iced Chocolate.

Last Googled: "actively single" to check it meant what I thought it meant.

Currently Working On:

- Learning how to make my own clothes.

- Clearing my watchlist so that I can rewatch things and actually take time to write meta.

- Moving country without losing my mind.

- Clearing my TBR.

Tagging @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @doyou000me and @respectthepetty apologies if you've already done this!

[rocketturtle4]

Thai QL Favorites Tag game

This is my first tag game I’m rather excited,

Thanks @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan for the tag.

My time on Tumblr has been less than 2 months, and prior to this I primarily watched TV for escapism and wasn’t particularly fussed about how closely shows adhered to reality or its values, so some of that will definitely be reflected here. (Previous genres of TV I’ve been invested in are anime and fantasy, I have seen soooo little western romance or queer cinema or high school movies or a lot of things).

Disclaimer: Emphasis on favourite over best

Also I appreciate Thai BL way more since coming to Tumblr but I have seen rather few shows in that time so there’s a ton I need to watch or rewatch with context that I haven’t yet (Moonlight Chicken, The eclipse, Bed Friend, ITSAY, He’s Coming to Me, My School President and more) so I can’t include them on this list like everyone else seems to be!

I honestly think brevity is an extremely envious skill, and I do not have such skills so here goes.

Favorite Thai QL: SOTUS S (Including the Our Skyy episode) or maybe To Sir With Love, It hasn't been long enough for me to tell yet but both those shows made me scream in different ways

Favorite Pairing: I assumed this was like character couple but some Tumblr searching suggests otherwise. I have watched 0 behind the scene’s footage except what rolls through tumblr and my youtube shorts and I am still learning actors names (Y’all have a habit of referring to actors in photos by their pairing name (e.g. offgun) without context on which one is WHICH so it’s hard to learn names that way lol.

Having said that I started watching BL because Between Us was airing and rolled through my youtube shorts and my first 3 BLs were all watched because of BounPrem (BU, UWMA & Cutie Pie) because I liked their dynamic.

Most underrated actor: see previous statement on my actor confusion. I'll sit down and make a list with pictures one day... or maybe not because that seems creepy

Favorite Character: Arthrit. Seriously I have rarely gotten so attached to a single character, I loved him so much, my demi ass had no idea what I was supposed to do with my actual fricken emotions. I finished SOTUS S with 50 screenshots of him FOR NO REASON. Also, Ae in Love by Chance killed me dead.

Favorite Side Character: I’m taking this as a pairing and choosing ForthBeam from 2 Moons 2, a very recent watch of mine. I thought MingKit was going to be my favourite part of that series and then ForthBeam showed up and knocked them straight out of the park.

Favorite scene in a QL: I sat here for a while deciding whether or not honesty was the best policy, and I decided yes it was SO:

It’s from Love In The Air and it’s a scene between Pai and Sky where Sky is sleeping (nearly recovered from being sick) and the camera switches between Sky’s sleeping, somewhat exposed self and Pai and his ever fraying control as he looks at and away from Sky's sleeping form and he leans closer, and closer, even as he tells himself not to, even as he speaks out loud 'not to loose control now' he leans closer still. Then Sky wakes up, just as Pai’s face is centimetres from his, and Sky asks ‘are you going to jump me P’Pai’ and Pai breathes rather quickly and heavily as he leans back stands up and announces that he needs to use the bathroom before walking swiftly away.

THE RESTRAINT, IT KILLS ME OKAY.

(if this wasn’t Thai only Takara-kun to Amagi-kun’s restraint scene would win)

(I did not have to look that up, this scene LIVES in my brain, at all times)

Although Tian & Lomfon’s final confession and kiss has been looping so often it might be a serious contender, It’s just too soon to say.

Favorite line in a QL: It’s not technically one line but AePete in the locker room after the makeout where Ae asks Pete to be his boyfriend (or some variation thereof) SEVEN TIMES wins for me. That boy is determined to have a clear answer.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I don’t keep track of upcoming BL, that’s 70% of the reason I initially got Tumblr, everyone’s excited for Only Friends so that one. Or there was one with the pair from Bed Friends that looked interesting, or ZeeNew’s actually with the prince.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: I have not thought about this very hard, but WinTeam maybe? Although they need to communicate better. Also ForthBeams relationship actually seems really healthy too.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: VegasPete, although a rewatch of Kinnporsche with additional context might change my thoughts, (also I haven’t seen tharntype)

Guilty pleasure series: Don’t Say No & Love in the Air although I feel guiltier about the second and I love the first more.

Most Underrated Series: I do not know enough about how series have been rated to make a call, but I was shocked to be told La Pluie was doing badly on mdl so that one.

I tried to check who’d already been tagged and not double up so there arent a lot, but feel free to ignore either way! @shouldiusemyname, @plantsarepeopletoo, @troubled-mind @dribs-and-drabbles

[bengiyo]

Between Us Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

I didn't have time to rewatch UWMA, but I've rewatched it multiple times. I'm excited to return to this world because we so rarely do that in BL.

Ever since Bad Buddy I've loved the Getting-Ready-For-The-Day scene.

Oh hm that doesn't sound like Boy Sompob.

Manaow!!!! So happy to see Samantha again.

The BL House is back!!!!!!! That's house number 10??

Santa and Oreo are playing Win's brothers???

Omg their names are A, Bee, and Sea.

I want to thank the editing team for not whitening the cast this time.

So glad we got the UWMA cast back.

PHARM!!!!

Lol Win is kind of a dick for not holding the elevator.

Why are Yacht's characters in New's shows watching porn??

It's nice seeing Pharm as just Team's friend, and not the protagonist dealing with supernatural situations.

LUCKIEST BOY MY BELOVED

I am enjoying the trio so much again.

It's the grocery store scene again!! I'm back in my feelings!

Loving that we kept the audio cues from UWMA. @flukenatouch you are so right.

This is new and I like it. Pharm going to Team after that intense encounter with Dean makes sense.

We're at a different beach this time.

Oh ho. We're going to get wound tending early this time. Ah, but Win is too stern.

So glad we're getting more of the Win and Dean friendship.

Oh man I forgot the porno moment on the swimming trip.

Sea is wearing a chicken wing chain. I can't.

I don't think we knew about this first encounter in UWMA. We knew one must have occurred, but I don't remember knowing it was here.

Do appreciate Win's check in and demands that Team confirm that he was sober and single.

Well that was lovely. So glad to be back in this world.

[thebroccolination]

Hi I watched Enchanté because of this thread of yours https://x.com/hadakanomind/status/1571447042165149696?s=61&t=3Iphv9v3mu5kk7BVikT_Ow do you have plans on updating this thread seeing as Be My Favorite isn’t in it?

Hi there! Aww, I'm so happy you watched something based on my recommendations! Thank you for telling me. :')

So I have a new list that I'm keeping on my pinned post.

As of now, my top fifteen looks like this (beware my long, rambling commentary on all of them):

Be My Favorite (2023) 🔮 High quality across the board from the script (which bears almost no resemblance to Jittirain's novella, and the director Waa took his time with it and even asked GMMTV for an extension so he could make sure it was as good as it could be) to the directing to the acting, music (leitmotifs!!! MULTIPLE LEITMOTIFS!!!), cinematography (the LIGHTING in some of these scenes), just. It's all so, so good. KawiPi mean so much to me, I flew to Thailand for the first time to see the series finale. This one's gonna be really tough to beat. It skyrocketed to the top of my list by the eighth episode, and my top three had been pretty solid for the past three years. Director Waa called it the production he's proudest of, and he directed The Gift. Krist also said it's his second-favorite series he's done after SOTUS (which, lbr, is going to be his favorite series forever, no one loves SOTUS more than Krist, and speaking of which––)

The SOTUS Trifecta (2016-2018) ⚙️ It's funny. I thought UWMA was my top series from 2020 until 2023, but as I got further into BMF and it threatened SOTUS as my #2, I couldn't knock SOTUS down to #3. So UWMA went from #1 to #3 in a day just because BMF and SOTUS are that powerful. I fully expect Ex-Morning to give me another crisis, and it may even take BMF out. Exes-to-lovers is a platinum level trope, and it's sanctioned RPF based on their lives so. But yeah, SOTUS is my baby. I rewatched it three or four times last year. It just gets warmer and cozier in my heart as time goes on. <3

Until We Meet Again (2019) 🧶 I'm really and truly grateful this was my first Thai BL series. I started watching when the penultimate episode had just aired, so I got to experience that last little stretch live! It's where I found BounPrem and WinTeam and the pandemic was much, much easier than it would have been if I hadn't had that online fandom experience to soften all the solitude and fear. It's also just a really great series. <3

Triage (2022) 🚑 DBK was my #3 since I saw it in 2020, then Triage pulled a BMF and stormed up my whole list as I watched it live in summer of 2022. It couldn't quite take out UWMA or SOTUS, but juuust based on its plot being stronger than DBK, it took the #3 spot. Time stuff, man, I fuckin' love it. <3 And it gave me SingGap! One of my favorite couples to this day. Top five, easy.

Dark Blue Kiss (2019) 🐻‍❄️ PETEKAOOOO. SUNMOOOORK. I have such immense fondness for this series, I'll defend it with my life. Does it have flaws? NOPE. Not a single one. Not that one. Nope, not even that one. Everything is perfect, don't touch my baby, thank you. <3 (Non deserved a redemption arc, but that's not a flaw either.)

Between Us (2022) 🥦 The series that made New my eternal nemesis! I tried so very hard to be optimistic about this series as it was airing. We'd waited two years for it, we expected the best, and it just…under-delivered in almost every way. New shot himself in the foot claiming the novel didn't have enough material for a full series and then not using huge, massive chunks of the novel. And…changed Team's backstory? The big traumatic thing that's at the core of the whole story? It's at #6 because of BounPrem and WinTeam. Their storyline was fantastic, and BounPrem did their absolute best with it, but by god it should have been better. I don't know why. I've kind of made my peace with it by now, but I don't watch most of New's series anymore, and after Revamp, I'm not interested. Whatever passion he had when he directed UWMA was probably taken out of him by trying to be CEO and sole director at Studio Wabi Sabi, and Between Us suffered immensely for it. He should have given it to someone else, because BounPrem deserved better.

Something in My Room (2022) 🎭 I'm so happy Supanut has I'm the Most Beautiful Count. He's really deserved such a prominent spotlight. I genuinely think Supanut's one of the industry's strongest actors, and his performance in SIMR really cemented that for me. Spoilers in the following link, but this scene is still my favorite acting moment in any BL series. SIMR is suuuper underrated.

Cherry Magic (2023) 🍒 TAYNEW REUNITED. No flaws. Love me some TayNew being sappy and adorable. God I love them. They're not allowed to separate ever again. I'm sorry to them. I make the rules.

Not Me (2021) 🏍️ Not Me could've been at the top of my list easily if they'd had the script editors they needed. I fully, very seriously believe Not Me could have been, like, world famous. I was recommending it to Non-BL Fan Friends in the first six episodes. And then it fell apart narratively. It's still incredibly ambitious, and I think Nuchy did all she could have possibly done with what resources she had, and Thailand is a difficult country to make Anti-Government stories in, so that's why I'll always have profound respect for it. It fell short because it was failed, not because they failed.

Manner of Death (2020) 🔫 Also flawless. Idiot dead people doctor is horny and reckless, and his hot man is cock-stupid and hot. Perfect series, no notes. Cutest side couple in history.

Bake Me Please (2023) 🍰 LISTEN. It's simple and sweet and Guide is adorable and I want Ohm back in BL full time, thank you for attending my TED Talk.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (2023) ⏳ I love them. :') I enjoyed myself immensely. TIME STUFF.

The Eclipse (2022) 🌗 FirstKhao did great. Ayan and Akk are lovely. The story itself is kind of a mess, and I didn't feel much of anything for any of the other characters good or bad, but I had a great time and I'd rewatch it someday.

Cutie Pie (2022) 💍 ZeeNuNew are great. This used to be waaay higher on my list, so maybe I just need to rewatch it to remember how much I love it. Cutie Pie is one of the only series I watched weekly as it aired. And didn't touch my phone the entire episode. This was pure joy for me. Established relationship shenanigans? THAT IS MY WHOLE THING. ………Yeah, I don't know why I have this so low. I need to reevaluate this whole list. My confidence in my system is shaken.

He’s Coming to Me (2018) 👻 Singto the Cute Ghost is legendary. Long live the Cute Ghost Singto. This series is truly underrated. Like, not as much as SIMR, but it deserves more love. Singto's such a gem.

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

Guncher, Until We Meet Again and Mangkorn for the ask game!

Guncher:

When I started shipping them: when cher made him this stupid coffee cup wit that stupid chibi and the stupid whatever [affectionate]

My thoughts: they need to talk more and tell eachother clearly whats bugging them because both of em are on the spectrum

What makes me happy about them: when they have their shit figured our and be littel shits to eachother

What makes me sad about them: when they misunderstand eachother and do stupid things that hurt themself and the other

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i haven't read any fanfition of them yet...*hides*

Things I look for in fanfic: ^

My wishlist: more communication, the mother has to go and more phi gun and also for cher to..you know work somewhere else

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:.. for cher? jack. for gun? therapy!

My happily ever after for them: them being happy maybe married (and cher not working as a employee for gun anymore) living near a beach or something.

Until We Meet Again: it's been a while for this one ohh

Favorite character: team

Least Favorite character: the gun intouch and korns fathers

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): intouchkorn, winteam, deanpharm..are there more..man i really should rewatch uwma i'm mixing them up with the ones in between us. But they are happening at the same time so i should put the others there but also not??

Character I find most attractive: all of them? 👀

Character I would marry: none of them

Character I would be best friends with: tun mew? 🤔

a random thought: why is yachts character called mew in uwma and is called tun in between us 🤔

An unpopular opinion: -

My Canon OTP: deanpharm (p'deeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaan)

My Non-canon OTP: like the other ones? that are not canon in uwma but canon in between us?

Most Badass Character: INTOUCH LIKE DAMN just walking up to the grumpy scary looking mafia son and just starts flirting

Most Epic Villain: the gun

Pairing I am not a fan of: team/panicattacks

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): don't all of them have dealt the worst cards? i am guessing again 😭

Favourite Friendship: phramwinmanow

Character I most identify with: with none of em..maybe manow

Character I wish I could be: win

Mangkorn (Big Dragon):

How I feel about this character: he is my pathetic taylor swift loving idiot

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: yai and yai only they are made for eachother they can be shitty and in love together ❤

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: he and that damn flashdrive

My unpopular opinion about this character: i don't have any

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: well..there is season two so all i want is more..pain..no more humor..eh no more DRAMA

Favorite friendship for this character: Ajo Fiances to best friends <3

My crossover ship: i never really thought about THAT..ohhh

want me to answer more?

[dandydemidoesfandoms]

Between Us Pontification - Episode 10

Ok, ya girl has had a little bit of time to sleep and rewatch Episode 10.

(Am I still miffed, yes. To the ends of the earth.) And here are my thoughts...there are a lot.

However, I think it's important (and other tumblrs have likened to this already) to keep in mind that our beautiful idiots, so full of love that they throw at others, leaving nothing for themselves, do not know how to ask for what they need; What they want and also believe that they deserve it.

Team is dealing with basically a decade of untreated survival guilt and in some ways is afraid that his love for Win is a projection simply because Win is good to him and makes him feel wanted, precious, and loved. Especially when his Aunt still grieves (and also needs some damn therapy) and probably has made way too many comments about what could have been her son's life. Team is living for two people, not even content to do it, but as a kind of forced repentance for something we all know is not his fault. And his self-loathing is manifesting as insecurity, low esteem when it comes to worth, and pushing Win away to stop himself from loving any harder, deeper, or truly in fear of loss and disappointment. But with Win, he needs certainty, clearest of day level clarity of how their relationship is defined.

And then there is Win. Sweet little competent middle child king. As someone who is also the 2nd sibling, I am painfully aware of how much pressure, expectations, and loneliness is wrapped up in it. How the only way to remain sane is to be useful and self-sufficient. Wiew is baby but a fiercely loyal one (as he should be, I love that precious nugget), and Waan is crumbling under the suffocating role he is being forced to play by his crappy workaholic father who has lost the plot in more ways than one. He needs to give that man a raise and a 3-week long vacation (with Tul there to just smile at him and play video games) and stop yelling so damn much. These three need a hug, a nap, and a break. But I digress.

Back to Win, he is a giver. Hyperindividualism manifested as the kind mediator, the soft but strong protector. He sends out all the love he never gets to keep for himself and doesn't expect anyone to stick around. He has crafted this self-fulfilling prophecy and doesn't hold tightly to anyone. Waan has even mentioned to him that his kindness could turn into something that hurts him and the ones we love, which is what we end up seeing in Episode 10. Because with Win, what he needs is someone who looks at him and tells him that he is loved not for what he provides but for just being him. Someone who wants to refill the empty cup he has been pouring from.

This is a story about reciprocation and fear of abandonment. A song of isolation and anxiety.

The confession scene for many of us was not what we wanted because we have the sweetness in UWMA that we know is on the horizon. Death by a thousand cuts, is what we are getting. But the point of Between Us is to show the complete road of how our boys with horny hearts of gold go from being in two very different types of emotional exile to a supportive and loving relationship. And I would be remiss if I didn't remind myself and others that this is their FIRST serious relationship. These boys have little to no previous experience with big feelings and taking that leap and hoping the one they love is jumping with them and simultaneously catching them at the same time.

Its a terrifying and heartwrenching saga to go through in the best of scenarios and there is so much hurt, unsureness, and need to be wrapped up and it can be scary if you are waiting for the other shoe to drop while, in tandem, praying for it not to. And in a way, both Win and Team need this kind of tension and to be forced to make solid steps forward.

Unfortunately, Win must have a moment of fear, of being confronted by the consequences of the cavalier nature he has curated. His coolness, the aloof cat-like humility that makes him so darn unattainable. He has to be vulnerable instead of hesitating and testing the waters again. He must cannonball into the depth. And Team, in direct parallel and in some ways opposition, must learn to accept that he is loved and is worthy of love. To not be afraid of being too much, of burdening someone he finds important with his affection, of handing over his feelings and feeling the reciprocation. He must trust that someone swimming with him isn't going to end in pain and loss again.

And that brings us to the emotional rollercoaster at the end of Episode 10. This is called the Black Moment or the Defining Moment when we look literarily at this story arc. Internal conflict must be confronted and we all must accept that we are gonna get a whole lot of big feelings in the last two episodes.

Have faith, intrepid travelers, and keep your arms and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

[slayerkitty]

I would just like it to be known that Be My Favorite has made me cry 5 times. Four of them were Krist's fault. This last one was Gawin's. Both of them have seriously exceeded my expectations for this show.

(I will be honest and say that I didn't think much of Krist's acting in SOTUS, and I couldn't finish SOTUS S. I hated Arthit, and I don't think I was supposed to, lol. Watching Krist in BMF, I can see how much he's grown as an actor - HE HAS MADE ME CRY FOUR TIMES NOW.)

The current running record for a show that made me cry is UWMA, where I cried 17 times (at least once an episode) on first watch and still do upon rewatching sometimes.

BMF is in second place at 5.

Never would have thought.

[waitmyturtles]

Absolute Zero, episode 1 RANDOM THOUGHTS (more like FEELS and SQUEALS and HAPPY PIPS, here we go):

1) New Siwaj's latest prestige BL. Man, we've had some dips from him lately. I FAST-fast-forwarded through Between Us to get to the DeanPharm bits, and listen, I shoulda just listened to my friends (insert the Bugs Bunny "NO" gif here). And I have a pathetic love for Double Savage, a show that New Siwaj screenwrote and that aired earlier this year, for its POTENTIAL to tell an intergenerational familial trauma story headed by OhmPerth, but lord, it was a mess. At the same time, I have been impaled with a thirsty obsession over my watch and rewatch of New's Until We Meet Again, so with New going high for this latest show -- I have BIG expectations.

2) @bengiyo and @twig-tea (here and here) covered a TON of what I am thinking (and apologies to friends if you wrote AZ things yesterday and I missed them -- like @bengiyo, I would love to be tagged in your meta to track thoughts on this show!) (I think @troubled-mind is getting into this one, maybe we already have a little AZ squad going!). Further apologies and big ups to Ben and Twig if I repeat anything you say! Which I will, right now, repeating Ben's words:

3) FUCK if I didn't feel some nostalgia hearing Boy Sompob's voice again. I really do feel like this means that New is THROWING. DOWN. The music in this show is already fantastic. The music was SO IMPORTANT to the storytelling in UWMA, and I'm glad we're leading with it again here.

4) I am VERY PLEASED to see Mix Wanut (young Suansoon) holding down as a lead. We didn't see him too much as Don in UWMA, but: I thought his timing and comedy was particularly notable in UWMA (when Don was able to lighten up a bit near Dean, I thought it was really great).

5) Speaking of the actors. I'd like everyone to know (poor @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan have already heard me yelp on this). Teng Kanist, who plays the older Suansoon. He was fabulous as Nat in Gay OK Bangkok. Nat was a contradictory character, but let me be honest -- I felt a little symp for Nat because I like Teng's face. I admit it, I'm weak and transparent for dudes.

BUT: we all need to know that Teng Kanist IS ALSO A REAL-LIFE PASTRY CHEF who also GOES TO THE GYM. Therefore, we have a perfect man (for me lol) in our midst. Just need everyone to know! Croissants and abs and sets. SOLD!

6) Ahem, where was I. As an #old, seeing middle-aged dudes in a drama is what I need. I like that Absolute Zero is going to do this for us: to juxtapose the expected BL school scenes with two real adults in real adult settings. I love this. And I love that I know we are going to get more elders next week in What Did You Eat Yesterday?, and elder-ishes very soon in Cherry Magic Thailand and Cooking Crush. We need to age-diversify this field, and New is leading this season.

7) I love how fast we needed to get to young Suansoon and young Ongsa getting together. From the MDL description of the show, it looks like Absolute Zero may have a similar structure to UWMA. UWMA was like a three-part series: the first part being Dean and Pharm getting together; the second being their discovering their spiritual pasts through their shared inherited memories and meeting their families; and the third being the conclusion with their resolving Korn and Intouch's forced separation at death.

If Absolute Zero follows a similar structure in a shorter episode span (right now, MDL shows AZ having 12 episodes, as compared to UWMA's 17 episodes), then I understand AZ needing to be a bit chop-chop about the romance. But I felt that this episode was still perfectly paced, and yes -- dropping the faen in the first episode could seem a touch fast, but I felt that we had convincingly spent intentional time with Suansoon's loneliness to understand why he would have said yes to Ongsa. (And, anyway -- of course, we needed to know that they got together, because we time-jumped to their loving adult relationship.)

And I loved young Ongsa's approach. A guy looking and chasing after his crush. The romance of buying tickets to a movie, hoping the guy he likes will show up. Giving Suansoon a birthday bracelet at the movie. Holding Suansoon's hand and asking him the big question.

Man.... ahhhh. What I loved about that bracelet scene is that -- the gift of that bracelet did a lot of the communicating from Ongsa to Suansoon without words. Suansoon was clearly touched and moved. The loss of his parents shakes him, but he clearly got a lovely moment of connection from that gift. Mix acted that part beautifully.

8) The Love of Siam. What can I fucking say. I haven't seen My Only 12%, where I know New makes another significant reference to LoS there. But, just. I'm very glad @bengiyo insisted on LoS being the start of the Old GMMTV Challenge, in part because of the references to LoS in other Thai BLs over the course of the genre's short history, but also -- the tragedy of that movie communicates SO MUCH when it is present as a reference in another piece. Just like the bracelet communicates so much by way of love. I love that we got to see the pre-ending credits quote. I love that New's communicating to us through this brilliant movie.

I am sure I can find more to gush on, but let me stop here, because this got longer than I expected. I can't manage a full load of dramas, so I'll likely be dropping my thirst-watch of Dangerous Romance to accommodate AZ and WDYEY. Just like I am praying for Tee Bundit to not drop the ball on I Feel You Linger in the Air -- let us hope New can also keep the juggle up on AZ. He started this out STRONG. I HAVE HIGH HOPES.

[kpopkritic]

I have more thoughts, and yes, it is 100% due to the fact that I am watching Between Us episode 1 for the third time. I really like getting to see Dean and Pharm from an outsider pov. When you’re watching UWMA, you may not completely know what is going on from the start, but you see the reasonings behind Dean and Pharm’s reactions to each other. You see the flashbacks to In and Korn, and while you may not know how it’s connected, you at least know that it is connected, and since it’s a show about them, you only really see it from their pov. In Between Us, Team has no clue why Pharm calls him crying after meeting Dean face to face for the first time. Win has no clue why Dean has seemed to be looking for something since they were teenagers. However, despite them not knowing or understanding anything, Win and Team are there for their friends, they comfort them, and root for them. And watching the trailers, you see Win tell Team that ‘red strings are for people like Dean and Pharm, that they get hemp rope’ (hence the titles of the books. I’m also completely paraphrasing the quote, I’m too lazy to rewatch the trailer to get it exact). This just proves that their friends believe them despite how unbelievable their story must be to someone on the outside. I love that the show is giving us real friendships instead of just telling us they are friends and not having any real connections.

My biggest confusion though, is Tul. This boy is a completely different character than he was in UWMA. I know he is mainly just a background character on the swim team in UWMA, but he is very obviously someone else in Between Us. Like, I know it’s not that big of a deal, I’m pretty sure we don’t even hear his name in UWMA, but if they wanted it to not be noticeable, maybe they shouldn’t have picked the one swim team member in UWMA that hung around Team that wasn’t Dean or Win. Or maybe it’s not actually that obvious and I just like the actor too much because he was in Love By Chance?

[absolutebl]

Hullo! I love all that you post and always look forward to your weekly updates :)

I stumbled upon your country-by-country BL explainers and rec lists just as I got into BL, and since then have been in a fog consuming ALL of it - possibly to the detriment of my own enjoyment as I crammed too much too quickly… so now I find myself rewatching a lot and liking many shows better the second time round. Key to that has been hunting down your Episode breakdowns to follow along with which are great! Do you have a master list of shows that you have done ep-by-ep watch alongs to?

Oh goodness, how kind of you!

No actually, because i tend to think, who would want all my waffling? But I do have a record so I can list em for you:

All My BL Series Watch Alongs & Epic Trash Watchings + Marshmallow Roasting Rating 

Oxygen the series - the first one I did when this blog was under its old name

RATING: 12 homemade high quality fancy pants marshmallows dipped in milk chocolate, far too sweet, can’t stop eating, no roasting needed, may make you sick tho.

Gen Y the series - the original trash watch & Gen Y 2 - The Glorious Trash Watch Reborn

RATING: 50 extra fat pink marshmallows and maybe some cheep chocolate and stale gram crackers because Gen Y 2 gave us s'mores... we didn’t ask for it, but they gave it to us anyway 

TharnType 2: 7 Years of I Can't Even - serious trash watch

RATING: 100 dumb yellow peeps, just that much trash

Don’t Say No - LeoFiat 2021 - can't stop the trash watch, actual title? Just Say No

RATING: 1000 of those tiny little marshmallows, required to be roasted speared onto willow switches, of course, for maximum PAIN

Bad Buddy - Ep by Ep Snarkfest episode recaps (decidedly NOT trash)

RATING: 1 extra large rice krispy treat, you think you’re gonna hate it, but once you start eating it you cannot stop.

Light On Me - but I only picked up and started talking about it at half way through at around ep 8. 

RATING: 3 moon-pies, marshmallow fluff stuffed chewy cookie of yummy, certainly no trash fire, eminently snackable, a little over processed tho ... all the packaging.

Color Rush - watch me slowly lose my mind over one very short show

RATING: 2 scoops rocky road ice cream, oh the marshmallows are there but it’s not what you first think of when I say marshmallow 

Manner of Death - This one was kind of hilarious since I spent most of the show trying to figure out what it wanted to be and if is was actually BL, but to be fair, so did it. Actual title? MurderY 

RATING: 1 box of Lucky Charms cereal, the marshmallows were hard but not unwelcome, no roasting because there turned out to be no dumpster fire

Enchanté Ep-by-Ep Watch Along - I had high expectations so I thought it would be a squee watch, nope. Actual title? Disenchanted 

RATING: 5 stale plain marshmallows, just... I had such high expectations

Unforgotten Night - I knew going in this was gonna be bad, I just didn’t realize HOW bad. Actual title? Forgotten Plumbing. The only kinks were in the hose.

RATING: marshmallows get stuck inside pipes, swell and turn to mush, total catastrophe in all ways

Minato’s Laundromat - Japan compresses the fluff so hard it nearly made me explode. 

RATING: 9 perfect marshmallow peeps roasted over an open fire. What, you’ve never tried roasting a peep? YOU HAVEN’T LIVED. 

Until We Meet Again rewatch + commentary  - I think Until We Meet Again is the best BL Thailand has produced, and probably will ever produce. I did a rewatch in preparation for the spin off, Between Us. 

RATING: ALL THE MARSHMALLOWS BELONG TO UWMA

Love in the Air  - I lose my mind over mame... again, and we should both know better but apparently that makes no difference, also no need to get too close this dumpster was on FIRE - all your marshmallows will be roasted and probably your eyebrows too

RATING: Melted marshmallows got all over my damn cinnamon roll. Again.

Between Us - simultaneously not as fluffy as I wanted and too much fluffy

RATING: I roasted a few nice marshmallows but smoke got in my eyes.

Be My Favorite - what is this nonsense fluff?

RATING: One tub of that midwestern white stuff you spread on toast (ewe no, not that white stuff, although I'm sure that's someeone's kink) kinda wet and weirdly silken and not fluffy enough, not as much roasting as one might hope

Wedding Plan - I just... it's mame?

RATING: one of those large fluffy marshmallows that got left out in the rain, became slimy.

Pit Babe - it's bonkers is all the right ways

RATING: someone went to the after easter blow out sale and bought all the marshmallows. ALL OF THEM.

Love Sea - Mame strikes back with a limp noodle

RATING: you got my noodles full of marshmallows, and nobody wants that

(source)

[mineonmain]

Reveal your Watch and Rewatch List! (BL Edition!!)

Thank you my love @disaster-j for tagging me - This is extremely overdue I know; I had this whole post written out almost 2 weeks ago but then right when I was getting ready to publish this 💖lovely💖 website decided to refresh and my post was lost. I was so mad that I didn't want to re-write it, but here I am anyways.

Currently Watching (I'm extending this to shows that have juuust finished too)

Kinnporsche - It's so fresh in my mind. I have way too many thoughts about this show to put down here, so i'm going to make another post similar to my Not Me Retrospective - all the things that were right and the things that were not. It may not have stuck to the book, and it may not have fully lived up to all the hype and expectations, but it's still unlike any other BL i've seen so far. Gotta commend them for that. Also it's the VegasPete show now, sorry I didn't make the rules. 7/10 (i'm sorry pls don't @me just read my retrospective later)

To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories - talented brilliant incredible amazing show-stopping spectacular...I think she deserves a separate post for herself too. Maybe when i'm not drowning under the guilt of not working on my Dissertation. There wasn't too much angst, the ending wasn't rushed, it was honestly perfect. Imperfect can be perfect too, you know. 11/10

Old Fashion Cupcake - I had low expectations for this so it kind of blew me out of the water. Great acting, incredible chemistry, and that scene in Ep 4 lives rent free in my brain. It's amazing how they (mostly) managed to tell a story in just 5 episodes and still have it feel complete and not unnecessarily rushed. A teensy bit of beef with how the finale went, but there's always something isn't there. 8.5/10

My Secret Love - Pretty mid, like the standard GMMTV sort of fare, featuring My-ponytail-is-my-personality-trait Boy, Walmart Saint Suppapong, Why RU's too-many-couples disease, mildly problematic behavior and a thin excuse of a plot. Still, it's nice to get something banal and light-hearted after all the weekend angst of KP and TMS. The latest ep was surprisingly better and less superficial than all the others so far.

Star and Sky: Sky in my Heart - The sequel to JoongDunk's Star in my Mind, this is typical lighthearted GMMTV stuff ft. P'Mek and debut actor Mark. A series of mini-series' where new couples get to flex their acting muscles a bit and test out their chemistry on the screen. I don't have much to say except it's soft and cute, nothing too groundbreaking.

Looking Forward To

Never Let Me Go (PondPhuwin)

Between Us (BounPrem)

My Only 12% (SantaEarth)

Remember Me (maybe??) (JaFirst)

Happy Ending Outside the Fence

Love in the Air (maybe??)

War of Y (maybe??) (BillySeng and more)

Moonlight Chicken (EarthMix)

Blueming S2 (let's freaking GO)

Rewatch

So. I'm not in the middle of rewatching anything at the moment, frankly I do Not have the time for full rewatches, but when I get in the mood I tend to rewatch specific moments from certain shows instead of full rewatches:

Bad Buddy Ep 5 4/4

Bad Buddy Ep 11

Literally anything from BBS who am I kidding

ATOTS Ep 6 3/4

ATOTS Ep 10 4/4

UWMA EP 2 4/4

Why RU FighterTutor Cut

LBC AePete Cut

WBL Ep 5

WBL 2

Utsukushii Kare Ep 5-6

Semantic Error

Mr. Heart

Light On Me (esp Ep 13)

Tharntype Ep 6/Ep 12

UWMA WinTeam Cut

Blueming Ep 9/Ep 11

TMS 2 Ep 4/Ep 10

OFC Ep 4

Love Is Science? MarkOuwen Cut

2gether Ep 6 3/4-4/4

My Tasty Florida

(Can you guys smell a theme hmmm I wonder🤔) Y'all I'm so sorry about this gotdamn list. It ran away from me. RIP. If anyone actually goes thru this, veterans discount for you. I could probably add more if I stopped to think more but that's where i'm gonna stop for now.

Tagging (I don't rly have friends but): @elevatormusic @whatisgodtoanonbeliever @incandescentflower @liyazaki @onstoryladders @strutforlove @billlkin @7nessasaryevils @excessivelyobssesed @milkpansa @johnnysuhsbathtowel @rythyme @piningbisexuals @ablazenqueen

[celestial-sapphicss]

I was tagged by @praninlove & @dribs-and-drabbles (thank you so much for tagging me this was fun!)

1. Your all-time favourite bl and why: *looks at my entire blog* gee I wonder which one it is

haha, it's bad buddy, without a doubt, the genre is right up my alley, the acting is amazing, it has none of the tropes that I despise, the storytelling is done with so much love and care. also, the OST is amazing!! it felt like the queer rom-com I had always been waiting for. and it has INKPA!! is it perfect? no. do I love it with all my heart? yes.

I'm so glad to have caught up with it in real-time. I have never been that invested in the actors, the cast and the crew of any other bl series before (gonna watch other works by ohm/nanon).

it made me want to actively use Tumblr, start learning photoshop to make gifs and talk about my thoughts. I also connected with some wonderful people from this fandom, the entire experience was just surreal!

2. That one bl that scarred you for life: fish upon the sky. need I explain more? *pi protection squad*. also theory of love. I loved that show except when khai was being, well khai.

3. Is there any bl that made you feel very single: not applicable? haha ):)

4. If you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be? oh, many things: the 'i only like him' trope, the damsel in distress trope, non-consent, husband-wife/top-bottom tropes, break-up trope and the toxic parts of the industry like excessive fanservice and shipping people irl.

5. That one bl you detest (don’t hold back): okay so detest might be a strong word but there are some very very acclaimed bls that I couldn't quite get into you know? like sotus, uwma, lovely writer, itsay, color rush etc. I think I might need to rewatch atots to really appreciate it, I didn't before because it wasn't really my genre.

6. Your top 5: oh, this is tough! apart from bad buddy?

gaya sa pelikula

cherry magic

manner of death

a tie between dark blue kiss & we best love (season 1)

again it's a tie between ingredients and boys lockdown

(also maybe still 2gether but only because it was way better than 2gether, which happened to be my very first bl. special mention to he's coming to me!) I'm not sure if 3 will be free is a bl, so didn't include it but it's definitely in this list!

7. That trashy bl that you lowkey like: quoting @dribs-and-drabbles, aren't a lot of them trashy? but yeah my engineer (ramking my loves), 2gether, yyy, I can't remember any more (these are completely based on my definition of trashy aka having absolute crackhead energy and guilty pleasures)

8. Your favourite Korean bl (it’s important we know): light on me, easily, so cute!!

9. But also your top 3 for kbls: I really enjoyed to my star! apart from that and light on me, I don't really remember the storyline of any other kb.

10. Season 2? Which one? my engineer. other than that not really big on bl second season considering how they've consistently fucked them up. maybe a still 2gether style follow up for bad buddy featuring domestic bliss and no real plot (sue me for not being over this show) I wanted a gaya sa pelikula 2nd season but well I recently got to know about the mess and I'm trying to distance myself from the show.

11. A bunch of dramas will air soon. Which ones are you most excited about? oh definitely vice versa, never let me go, cherry magic movie, to my star 2, and boys lockdown 2!

12. Tag them!

@surajmukhis @someonek111me @ghostvalleymasters @paint-music-with-me @transpat

Please only do it if you want to, no pressure!

[anthrotmnt]

Tagged by @piningbisexuals  (which was a sweet surprise - sorry it’s late!)

1. your all time favorite bl and why

Until We Meet Again. 

UWMA was like the third drama I watched after SOTUS and Love By Chance when I was first falling down the rabbit hole of Thai dramas. It’s one of the ones I can re-watch again and again. Even though it’s not the happiest, given certain circumstances (InKorn), I love the fictional idea of soulmates and love transcending time. I adore Pharm as one of my all-time favorite characters, with his actor being one of my favorites.  

Seriously the “aesthetic”, and idea of the red string of fate is one of my favorites, as well as it’s just overall more serious tone, while also containing humor, thoughtfulness, and love/warmth.

The friend group is also pretty great - though I wish we had seen more of it; honestly I think most friend groups, especially ones that come together when a pairing does, deserve more attention.

2. that one bl that scarred you for life

I haven’t really watched anything that has outright scarred me; the ones that probably would have, I went in knowing they were gonna be A Lot (fortunately).

Maybe History3: Make Our Days Count cause they really took such a sweet (highschool) enemies to lovers story with great chemistry and ended it that way. I know that’s the point - hence the title - and I def did not watch the last 10 minutes as per recommendation, but still. Rough

Also unrelated - because I don’t think I got it from this drama - but Dean’s upset crying while driving in UWMA got me nervous and now I fret when boys are distracted drivers in BL.

Maybe it’s all connected.

3. is there any bl that made you feel single?

I feel like a large part of BL’s appeal is the romance aspect and the comfort of reoccurring/familiar tropes you keep coming back to.

While many BLs have made me feel single, I want to give Oxygen some love here because while it’s not a perfect show, the main couple are just so soft and I love their softness and I think that kind of fluff makes me feel even more single then the average BL.

4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

TonHon Chonlatee - I would have given the surrogacy plot actual weight, or just straight up changed it so that the dad’s hospital trip and “forgiving” of his son didn’t feel so sudden and undeserving. Honestly, TonHon himself i think needed a few episodes less of being a jerk, if we weren’t even going to have Chonlatee and him as a happy couple for very long. So maybe the overall episode length because it had charm, and I enjoyed what I enjoyed, but it’s just a bit disappointing for what could have been.

5. that one bl you detest

I watched TharnType right before the boom we are currently seeing, because everyone talked about it, mostly because the chemistry between the actors being amazing. While at the time, right after, I did rate it high (for what it was - as it wasn’t trying to be anything clean and neat), I’m just kind of indifferent now. In the sequel, they took that acting chemistry and tried to present the couple as more loving and committed, while hiding most of the actual intensity behind paywalls haha.

For one I straight up detested though, I don’t know that I’ve watched any because if I started to detest it I would probably just not finish it/drop it. My attention isn’t all that great sometimes.

Maybe Together with Me: The Next Chapter (despite never having watched it) because while the original show dealt with the main couple cheating to be together you would think that means they really wanted to be together and it was a complicated emotional mess of internalized homophobia…but then I hear that more cheating happens after all they went through, and even more so! It was def an automatic “not interested” in MyDramaList.

6. your top 5

1) Until We Meet Again

2) Why R U

3) He’s Coming To Me

4) My Engineer

5) Oxygen

I would say these are my top 5 cause I’ve actually rewatched these haha.

Honorable Mentions: A Tale of Thousand Stars (very close I just need to rewatch it again I think), Bad Buddy, and Not Me (I’m still absorbing both of their freshness/thoughts and feelings).

7. that trashy bl you lowkey like

Cause You’re My Boy - Drake and Frank’s chemistry just keeps you hooked on the show and while production wise it is a bit choppy, I can see the charm of the show they wanted underneath.

Tonhon Chonlatee - like I said earlier it has charm, and a fun queer found family, but the pacing drags the series as a whole down.

8. your favorite korean bl

Color Rush

9. but also your top 3 for kbls

1) Color Rush

2) Where Your Eyes Linger

3) Mr. Heart

Honorable Mention: Long Time No See

I’m behind on some of the newer ones but based on the webcomic, I think Semantic Error could end up in the top 3.

10. season 2? which one?

I think I’ve watched only 3 dramas with a season 2: Still 2Gether, I Promised You the Moon, and Lovesick Season 2. 

IPYTM was disappointing, and I know of way more season 2s that sound disappointing/not my thing, that I have not watched.

I started, but didn’t finish, Color Rush season 2.

I plan to watch A Man Defies the World of BL season 2!

Lastly, I do still kind of want My Engineer season 2….

11. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for?

KinnPorsche (this weekend?!)

But also The Eclipse and Never Let Me Go

12. tag them

@laowen n​ @ablazenqueen

[waitingforminjae]

i rly love reading your sort of live commentary abt uwma!! as someone who watched it as it was airing and really vibed with the almost slice-of-lifey thing the drama (mostly) is and having had to read some Takes on deanpharm, it's nice to relive it with you? especially since it felt like 90% of the fandom was there for teamwin crumbs 😔

well i must admit i did just rewatch the teamwin scene in ep.10 like three times in a row bc it's so sweet 😔 so i get it but ALSO deanpharm r So Important To Me........like there's that quote that's been done to death w ship stuff that's like "we deserve a soft epilogue" and i love that this show is mostly just their soft epilogue 😭

but also just.......idk i'm watching another show rn as well and especially in comparison to that show the positive framing of deanpharm (and intouch and korn as well) has just been a real revelation for me like the way they frame their relationship as this purely good thing that they're both completely on board with and confident in and the way dean respects pharm and the boundaries he sets is SO 🥺 idk it sounds silly but as a writer i never really thought abt the framing of relationships before until i saw uwma 😭 so i can't even imagine what Takes u saw like.......aside from dean kinda pushing pharm to come out to his family, they really haven't done anything problematic so far? dean even respects that pharm doesn't want to know abt intouch just yet, and when he goes too far trying to make out with him he stops when pharm pushes him away and sincerely apologizes immediately and pharm is allowed to take a moment to be mad and then clearly state "it's okay, but don't do that again." like YES king defend ur boundaries!!!!

anyway I got u anon I'm deanpharm's number one shooter I'm abt to make a video of their sweetest moments that made me go 🥺 bc i want what they haveeeeeee