#just pure old losing their “pure” status in a way they cannot talk their way out of | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uhyeahmaybenoidk · 3 years ago

Text

Part 2&3 of ‘I’ve connected the two dots’ the Gilded Age edition

I don’t like the intro. Way too much is happening out there for my taste.

Butlers are the only sane people in this show.

One of these days ladies will gang up on Marian. She is walking on thin ice.

The tea party was pure comedy. Nobody is subtle and Agnes is one step from murder.

Marian: I wish I understood what brings you to New York. Me: Girl, are you blind?

I love the ‘we like riling Agnes up’ club.

Listen I have nothing against Marian but please spice her up a bit. I have like no interest in her as separate character apart from potential love triangle. So far she looks to be a Mary Sue dressed in historical clothes. Honestly, Julian, you can do better.

On the other hand, I’m really intrigued by Peggy. Her past is a total mystery. Frankly speaking I know nothing about America of that period so I cannot tie whatever happened to her to any real life events that would explain why she needs a lawyer. That is why my totally wild and uneducated guess is that she married someone in Pennsylvania against her father’s will and now she’s like ‘oh shit that was a mistake but I won’t admit it to him’. Yep that’s a cliché and dumb theory. I know.

Mrs. Chamberlain is another intriguing character. She is married or she was married. Oh I have a theory! She is a widow who married a very rich but old man who died soon and after his death she got herself a toy boy or whatever they called it in 19th century. That does sound scandalous enough to make Anges’ blood boil, doesn’t it?

I have a question about the dress worn by Carrie Astor in the last scene: what the heck? Did she lose a bet and has to wear this atrocity for a week?

I kind of respect Mrs. Astor. Is she a snob? Yeah. Is she a clever snob though? Hell yeah.

Raise your hand if you don’t trust Tom Raikes. *raises hand*

I mean… yeah I get it sex before marriage is a taboo so if you want to get some, you need to put a ring on it and blah blah blah but dude seems to be too hasty with proposal even for a horny teenager, let alone grownup gentleman.

Agnes is right about him, isn’t she? I bet he is an opportunist indeed. However, what can a middle class lawyer get from this marriage? Money? Nah, Marian is penniless and he knows it. Social status? Eh it isn’t of much use for him.

Unless she isn’t penniless after all. Remember they were talking about shares in railroad companies or something like that which he claims are worthless? What if they are actually worth a freaking fortune?!

Will it have something to do with the station George Russell is about to build? Maybe. IDK. It sounds reasonable now but we’ll see.

I still want to giggle every time George Russell is mentioned.

That freaking maid… She is too clever to seduce George just for the sake of seducing him.

Is she planning to become his mistress? Bitch please. Bertha will twist her neck.

Is she planning to blackmail him? Bitch please. George will twist her neck.

Someone wake Larry up.

Dude, remember that blond neighbour you were flirting with? Yeah it’s time to act. Now!

Give Gladys a sock and set her free.

I seriously try to look at it from 19th century perspective but boy oh boy.

Option #1: Oscar van Rhijn. Is he the worst thing that can happen to a young lady? *remembers what was said about late Mr. van Rhijn* Probably not.

Option #2: whatever her mother planned for her. That one sounds like Gladys is about to be shipped to England and search for a husband with a title. It worked for Cora from DA but a long time ago I’ve read about those American heiress who ended up totally miserable as a result of it so that sounds scary…

Option #3: the boy she mentioned. Archie? I cannot remember the name. Anyway, as Agnes van Rhijn said: ‘sounds dull enough to be respectable.’

I feel for John Adams who lies there imagining quiet life with Oscar and their three corgis while Oscar goes on and on about money and how wonderful Gladys is.

Marian gets on my nerves. Seriously, I get it: she’s strong, fearless, modern woman and all that stuff. But it’s 19th century higher society for Pete’s sake and Marian acts like a time traveler from 21st century. She seems to have no control over her mouth and just says the first thing that comes to her head. In the company of the family it might be sassy and endearing but with strangers she sounds really dumb.

Like how many times can she ask why they don’t include Mrs. Russell? Does she expect that if she asks it a hundred times, they’ll get tired and give up? I really struggle to understand this character.

On paper her lines are clever, in action though… She ain’t one and only dowager countess of Grantham. Sorry not sorry. She’s just too young and her position in society isn’t high enough for her to speak her mind so freely in public.

Ada still creeps me out at times but I felt really sorry for her.

However, it’s one more proof that Agnes sees right though people.

Peggy doesn’t deserve this shit. Period.

I should have seen it coming, right? Yet I didn’t. I was so happy for her and ugh. I hope when she becomes a famous novelist, she’ll write in one of her books something like ‘Dear assholes from The Christian Advocate, screw you!’

‘Do you think we should kneel?’ line aged well.

I naturally disliked Patrick and Anne Morris. They deserved punishment for their actions but daaaamn not like that. I didn’t expect this show to go so far.

How many brain cells does Anne have? Zero?

Somehow Aurora Fane pisses me off even more than Anne.

The boy toy theory… yep I was an idiot.

51 notes · View notes

poptod · 4 years ago

Note

hello! i'd like to make an ahkmenrah x reader request! maybe present-day reader gets teleported back in time to when ahkmenrah was alive and they eventually get to the palace and stuff happens? maybe they tell him about modern life? and maybe reader is unnaturally beautiful to the ancient egyptians because humans evolve to be more attractive as time goes on so a person from our time would be hot shit 4,000 years ago? this is long lmao. thanks!

Notes: god ive always wanted to do this kind of storyline but i was worried about like,, logic and stuff getting in the way of the storyline. anyway! i was so fucking elated to receive this request. i got a bit carried away so apologies! WC: 3.2k

Okay. It isn't that bad.

Would you ever see your family again? Probably not, but you weren't ruling the possibility out.

Would you ever get to have sour patch kids again? Probably not. But even during the time you lived in 2020, you had eaten more concentrated sour patch kids flavor than all of the people around you combined.

This little village on the outskirts of ancient Thebes is hardly L.A.––though that's probably a good thing––and is small enough for you to know every inhabitant. Your shop there is small to suit the town, and well known ever since your arrival in this time.

They found you beside the river, thought you to be a gift from the Gods. You were hazy, though––whatever had so forcefully pushed you back in time had made your head spin, making you sick and unbalanced. So, when they asked if you did in fact come from the Gods, you had no way of defending yourself either way. Generally you've been denying it––they think you are a god, and the only way you've convinced them you're not a god is by saying you're a gift from them. It explains the way you look, unnaturally beautiful and alien amongst the more pure genetics of earlier humans.

Your shop is pretty simple. You make portraits from paint, more realistic than anything else that exists, and it only affirms their belief in your god-like status. Fortunately word seems to not have gotten out––the village has remained small, and no one from Thebes has run into you. Every now and then you get unreasonably anxious that a noble will find you and turn you into a slave. It's a worry most people around you have, so you find comfort in the fact that you're not the only one. Still, you're not quite accustomed to such an atmosphere––the thought of nobles and Kings noticing you still sends terrified aches into your stomach.

It's about two weeks in that it gets bad. People start to pass by the village, more than you would've thought, and they're all looking to trade goods, food, and information. The people of the village talk about you––you're something interesting, you can't deny that, but they don't know just how worried you are. Whenever you see someone you don't recognize outside your home, you refuse to come out.

Five days later and there's soldiers in your home, looking over your paintings on their way back to Memphis from conquering the realm of Kush. You hold a deep contempt for them––you don't know all that much about history, but you know how Egyptian soldiers and Pharaohs reigned power over the people of Kush.

The soldiers aren't all that worrying. What really gets your heart pounding is the final man to enter your hut; a man bearing a crown and a long sword, with golden braces around his wrists and a chest plated in green scales. Your fingers dig into the wood of your counter when he notices you. The crown on his head––it's the crown of both upper and lower Egypt.

This is a Royal.

"Where did you learn this skill?" He asks you, eyes trained on one of your bigger drawings. It's just on papyrus––not for sale––and hung on the wall as a display of your talent.

"I spent a little while travelling the world," you answer. Technically, growing up in the modern world was a bit like travelling the world; you got to see the cultures and practices of many, many people. "The rest of it's practice."

"The peasants here, they... they claim you came from the Nile. Is that true?"

"Well... that is where I was found," you say carefully, but you can already tell you've fucked up. The look on his face is indescribable beyond the fact that he's pleased.

"How would you feel coming back to the capital with me?" He offers to you, setting his hands on the counter and leaning forward. "I think my father would much like to meet you."

"I – I don't think I'm really cut out for -"

"Nonsense," he dismisses with a smile, taking your hand from its' spot on the wood. "We shall teach you proper writing skills, give you a beautiful home, and the salary isn't horrid either."

You can't just say no. If you do, he's going to ask questions––he's going to get confused, and he's going to get suspicious. No one would turn down an opportunity like this; free schooling, free housing, and much more money for something you already do.

"Well... alright," you say quietly, looking to the home around you that you built with the help of the other villagers.

"Wonderful. My name is Kamun."

He's not a very nice person, you come to find. Or perhaps he's just not your tastes––the soldiers seem to like him well enough, at least the ones who aren't completely subordinate to him, but his attitude towards women and poor people is scathing to say the least. Otherwise he's very amusing, with a good sense of humor and quite generous with his food and wine as long as he gets his fill of it first.

The boat back to Memphis, where the royal family currently stays, is a long ride filled with various entertainments. It's clear these are not soldiers accustomed to rough conditions––the dancing women and flowing beer is enough to tell you that. Instead, you surmise these are faux war-heroes; people adored in their hometown for doing nothing but intimidating others in a foreign country. They try to get cushy with you, soften you up to their words and touches. It doesn't work.

He keeps you close to him. You let him do it, sort of––it's better than telling him no. Better than starting a ruckus. Then again, avoiding a ruckus is what got you here in the first place, standing before the doors of the courtroom where a false God on earth rules the Nile.

"Father, I bring you a gift from Thebes," says Kamun, pushing you forward by the small of your back. You can't bring yourself to meet the Pharoah's eye, so you fall to your knees and bow.

Everyone is staring at you. You don't look normal, and they all know it, and you know it. You could cry from the heat of their eyes on your back.

One of Kamun's soldiers steps forwards, handing the Pharaoh and his wife several of the drawings they'd taken from you. Silence passes as the two scan your work.

"How did you achieve such a mirror of the human face?" The Pharaoh asks in a slow, deep voice that sounds as he looks––old, weathered, wise.

"They came from the Nile," Kamun answers for you, and murmurs take the crowd by storm. You, on the other hand, feel your heartbeat increase in massive increments, speeding your already uneven breath. "A gift from the Gods, the locals said."

"I can't – I am not magic," you rush out, hoping your clarification clears you of any responsibility to the Pharaoh. You know he rules everything––if he says you are to stay here, you have no choice, and you don't like it here. Too many people. "I cannot give you anything, my King."

"I think you're lying," says a voice, its' tone soft and a velvet low. It catches you off guard, brings you to raise your head and meet the eyes of someone you don't know; a young man dressed in gold beside the Pharaoh's throne.

You almost lose your breakfast as your eyes bulge, your mind instantly recognizing him and connecting the dots. You were, by far, not a historian, but you knew a fair amount of Egyptian history––namely a family in the Old Kingdom who was headed by the Pharaoh Merenkahre. The remaining statues and busts of the King and his son are astonishingly accurate, and there can be no doubt in your head.

That being said, there also can't be any reaction on your face. You try your best to reign your expression in.

"I..."

Actually, you do have something to offer now. You know the names––memorized the history, committed each event to memory, and now you can pull their lifestory off from the top of your head. Wouldn't that be valuable to a King; a seer of the future, to predict the rise and fall of the economy and the coming armies. Besides, you can't just say he's wrong. That'd be treasonous to them. So you have to agree you're hiding something, come up with an excuse as to why you hid it, and it proves harder than you thought. You're quickwitted, though––it got you away from the villager's wrath, and it will promote you to noble living now.

You hide a smirk beneath a calm expression as you address the younger prince.

"They gifted me foresight," you say quietly, pretending as though it hurts you to tell the truth, "but told me to never inform others."

"You are in the presence of Ra once more," the Pharaoh reminds you.

"And others," you point out. "I would... it would be better to discuss such matters.. in private."

Detailed information about already-past events is enough to sway him to believe you. The Pharaoh is surprisingly easy to convince, and with a few, meaningless predictions of the future, he gives you housing in his own palace. Kamun looks proud of himself––puffs his chest out in front of his father and earns no compliment. Ire laces his glare as it falls upon his brother, Ahkmen, praised for his ability to see through your obvious lie.

The Pharaoh asks his younger son to guide you to your room. Apparently it's closer to his room than it is to Kamun's, and evening is approaching fast. The walk there, while short, is marked by a conversation composed mainly of Ahkmen's questions and your answers. When the two of you reach your room, he doesn't leave––actually, he follows you in and locks the door.

There's nothing more terrifying than a man with unchecked power, and there is no one watching you.

No fail safe.

You gulp.

"I know you're still not telling the truth," he says, and though it dismisses several of your worries it still begs the question; how did he notice? "Just thought I'd spare you the embarrassment in front of my father, but my generosity ends there. Now I won't hurt you, and I won't tell anyone––I'm just curious."

Oh thank fuck. He's not going to rape you.

"I'm not Egyptian," you blurt out.

"Obviously," he interrupts, but you glare him into raising his hands defensively.

"I'm from the future."

He stares at you. For a minute. You know this because you count it––he just pauses right in his stance, doesn't move, and stares at you for a whole minute like you just told him you're made of gold.

"I'm sorry, what?" He says, laughter suddenly wracking his body.

"It's how I know what's going to happen to your family," you say, hoping he'll believe you. Otherwise this handsome, seemingly-nice man is going to think you're insane for the rest of time. "I studied your family for years as a side-hobby, I don't know how to predict the future for anything but you and your father."

His laughing pauses, or lightens at least; enough for him to say, "actually?"

"Yes," you say, completely serious. This seems to gain his interest once more. "You have to help me. I know at some point people are going to ask me questions about other things and I'm not going to have an answer."

"Just do what all our priests do," he says with a chuckle.

"What do they do?"

"Lie," he says. You can't stop the grin that spreads across your face from the stupid joke, and when he sees that a shit-eating grin spreads across his own face, delighted he could make you laugh.

"Yes, well... I guess I could do that," you mumble in a laugh.

"There's no need for you to worry. Now that I know the truth, I can help you," he says, offering you something that takes nearly all the anxiety out of your brain. After two days travel with a prince, it feels like it took 50 pounds off your shoulders.

"Thank you, so much," you chuckle in relief.

"Of course. I do have questions though, and I want you to answer them."

"Anything."

These questions of his, they come at all times––almost at a constant rate when he takes you on long walks, which he does often. He passes it off to his father as an interest in your beauty, and it apparently works. This little lie also helps you enormously in avoiding the romantic advances of many of the people you come into contact with. You're still not quite sure how it works, since Egyptians supposedly had a strong sense of patriotism, but you look rare and they idolize it. Every eye that falls upon you sees something beautiful, and you can't understand it.

At least Ahkmen is normal. He doesn't talk about you being beautiful. Ever.

And it kind of makes you sad.

"Would you say people on the whole are happier in the future or in the past?" He asks you, his words surrounded by the warmth of a summer day in Egypt.

Birds chatter loudly in the trees around you, singing in the humid air that marks the mating season for many of them. The flowers that surround you are already familiar––you thought it would take longer for you to commit the shapes and colors to memory, but here you are. Dressed in gold-laced silk and turquoise necklaces.

"I think the happiness of a population is dependent entirely on the circumstances surrounding it," you say. Sometimes your answers relate more to the human condition than the progress of time on the human race; he likes these answers, too, so you tell him exactly what you think. "Six thousand years from now, there are times of great misery. One is even called the Great Depression, but five years before that were some of the most prosperous times my country had ever seen. The same cycle is evident here."

"So.. great misery and great happiness come in waves?" He asks, pace slowing as he tries to understand what you're saying. You pause along the pathway, allowing him space to think.

"It's a pattern, actually. When the economy goes up, it will always come down. Recessions happen right after economical booms. And yes," you say before he can ask, "a time of unease will follow the prosperity of the current years. But it won't be for a time yet."

"Will it happen in my lifetime?"

He's murdered about three years from now. You think you might be able to stop it, but if you do, it'll alter history quite a lot. Either way, he wouldn't live long enough to see the recession the building of the great pyramids caused.

"No," you say. "But I'd prepare for it anyway, if only to keep your citizens safe."

"Of course. You... you are a great scholar," he tells you, resuming the slow walk down the shore of the Nile.

"Oh. Uh, thank you," you mumble as a blush fills your cheeks.

"What did you do in your time?"

"I was an artist, but I spent a lot of time giving lectures on the role of autistic people in ancient Egypt. Autistic people are often timekeepers," you say, and you know he'll figure out what you mean. Autistic isn't a term here, but many timekeepers of these ancient times were autistic, and considered highly by their societies.

"You might be able to give lectures again, if you'd like," he suggests. "People would come from far and wide to hear you speak. And you've got things to say that I know many scholars will find interesting."

"Mmm," you wince, "I kind of want to stay away from altering history too much."

"Oh, yes. My apologies," he says in a softer voice.

"It's alright," you say. "I'm glad you think I would be a good choice for that kind of thing, though."

He chuckles bashfully as he turns to the ground, scuffing his sandals as he walks.

Ahkmen is sweet––much sweeter than any of his family members, and you find yourself appreciating that every time you pass by his room. You pass his door often, always stopping a second to contemplate the tall, wooden doors. He's on the pathway between your room and the library.

Most of the time he's not in his room. Actually, you can usually find him in the library––there or outside in the markets or near the stalls. Today is different; he's been missing all day, and only when you walk the path back to your room do you hear his voice, talking to himself in his bedroom.

"They're bombarded with just such compliments, though. I can't – I can't stand out!"

"Or maybe you should, because you still haven't said a single thing yet and they probably think you're completely uninterested and that's why they aren't noticing you?"

"You and your... logic," Ahkmen spits.

"Come complaining when you kiss them under my advice."

As you attempt to peek through the crack in the door you stumble, knocking your hand against the wood. You barely hesitate before knocking again––cool and collected, smooth to slip into another lie.

"Oh! Hello, um – hi," he says awkwardly, slipping out of the room when he sees you. He quickly closes the door behind him, careful to keep you from seeing the other person in his room, but you can't bring yourself to care about the stranger.

Think of an excuse, why am I here?

"Oh, that's... I like your flower," he comments softly, eyes flickering between your eyes and the flower tucked into your hair. You'd forgotten about it, but raised your hand to touch the petals as you smiled. The perfect excuse

"Thank you. I thought you might like it, so I," you take it out of your hair and grab his hand, holding his palm upwards, "wanted to show you.. um, here."

Setting the flower in his hand, you curl his fingers around its' stem and push his hands back into his chest. He stares at you for a moment, confused by your strange behavior, but accepting of your gift anyway. You know him well enough now––he'd never decline a gift from you.

"A white iris," he tells you in a lofty tone. "A symbol of the dead. Funny it looks so lively on you."

You need to get out of here before your chest combusts.

"I need to go now, but I'll see you this evening, yes?" You ask, stepping instinctively closer. He doesn't back away.

"Of course. And, um," he takes your hands, keeps you where you stand as he slips the flower back behind your ear, "keep it. I want to see it on you at dinner."

He's close to you––close enough that it gets hard to distinguish his breath from your own, when you started holding his hand. When his other came up to your face. When he leans in and kisses your forehead. It's barely there, just barely, but there's no mistaking the soft plush, the affection clear behind gentle, precise movements.

You rush away the second he lets your hands go.

#ahkmenrah x reader #rami malek

196 notes · View notes

speechlessxx · 4 years ago

Text

Bring Him Light - xii (King!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter Summary: While Lord Rumlow is being tortured, his fellow disgraced comrade is found in another kingdom’s port.

Warnings: underwhelming filler chapter, descriptions of torture,

Word Count: 2.3k

<- Last Part -=+=- Next Part ->

The musical clattering of the coins in the cloaked man’s pouch were muffled beneath the several hollered orders. York’s docks were packed to brim with several ships that brought in various goods for the young prince’s name day. From what the man could make out, the king and queen were determined to make this the best name day the young boy had ever experienced. He was surprised to find out, it would be the young man’s last.

He overheard one sailor planning to ship off. Good. He thought. Put as much distance between me and Brooken. The man stopped the sailor, hailing him over and flashing him the pouch of coins. “Where to, old man?” the young sailor asked. The cloaked man scoffed, not used to being addressed in such a manner.

“Far.” The cloaked man answered, swallowing his pride. He thought his life was more valuable than a status or a label. “Wherever you’d take me, boy.”

The young sailor stared into the pouch. The coins shimmered under the hot sun’s rays. There were enough coins in the bag to help his aunt. He probably wouldn’t have to sail ever again. “I’m headed to the Old World, sir,” the young sailor explained. “I’m setting sail in a few hours or so.”

The older man grumbled a bit. He didn’t like the idea of staying in York for a few more hours. He remembered the advice he had told a young queen days before – the longer you wait, the slimmer the chances at escape became. But he was in no place to argue, and no other ship was leaving, so he agreed. “What’s your name, sir?” The young boy asked.

“Alex.”

As Anthony and his wife were busy with the name day arrangements, trumpets blared out a somber tune throughout the halls of Iron Tower. The king stopped midsentence, registering the meaning – a noble had died. An awful feeling bubbled in his chest as he began to think his son did not make it to his final name day.

Moments later, Ser James Rhodes pushed open the throne room doors. Anthony frowned when he saw the redhaired Natasha, who was supposed to be in Brooken at your side. It was her duty as one of your ladies in waiting.

“Your majesties,” Natasha bowed.

“What’s happened?” His wife asked with a similar confused frown that mirrored his own. “Is your queen with you?”

Natasha took a deep breath as she looked around the crowded throne room. All eyes bore into her, all wondering the same. They had all heard the low notes from the trumpet… Some had assumed it called for the death of their prince, but had Lady Natasha come to deliver the body of their princess, instead?

“No, your grace,” Natasha answered after long beats of silence. “My queen is safe in Brooken.” She wasn’t sure how true those words were, but after witnessing the pure desperation on King Steven’s face and voice as he tried to find you, she had a bit of hope.

“Then, why are you here?” Anthony asked the younger woman. “Why aren’t you with your queen?”

“She asked me to deliver the body of …” Natasha gulped. Saying her name made it all too real. “Lady… Lady Wanda, who recently …” She choked on her words, tears brimming in her green eyes. “Who recently passed.”

“Oh, dear god.” The queen gasped. She nervously clasped the pendent on her necklace.

The king’s frown did not relent. He stared down at the young woman. Her tears were justified – she had lost a friend after all – but her eyes spoke a different story. There was something more to the simple tale she spun. He waved off everyone in the room, dismissing them from the chamber.

“Tell me the truth, Lady Natasha,” he urged, “for I see a deeper sadness in your eyes.”

“Your grace,” Lady Natasha muttered. Under your orders, she was not to spread the story of Wanda’s assault. As gruesome and horrible as the events that lead to her death were, the mention of her losing her maidenhood before marriage would tarnish her reputation. York’s laws would call that she be buried in an unmarked grave alongside common criminals who had no family. “My queen has demanded my silence.”

“You may be my daughter’s lady, but you are in my court,” Anthony pushed. His tone menacing, but after being in Brooken’s court under the rule of the once hailed Cruel King Rogers, it did not phase her. “You can tell me yourself, or I can bring in someone who will force it out of you.”

“Tony.” Your mother scolded. She cast a look of pity to Natasha. “Please, Lady Natasha, speak freely.”

»»————-　⚜　————-««

The arrow whistled in the air as the arrowhead pierced through the massive wooden board. A loud thuck! echoed throughout the silent stables followed by a pathetic whimper. Three men watched in the sidelines as the queen pulled another arrow from her quiver.

“Do you think she’s taking this a bit far?” Lord Wilson, though thoroughly impressed with your archery skills, grew rather restless as his queen toyed with her prisoner. Another arrow sliced through the air and made a similar thuck sound.

“She hasn’t even hit him once,” Steven reasoned. He, too, was impressed with your skills though he was rather disappointed that you had yet to graze his cousin’s skin. “My love,” his voice echoed, “you can get much closer than that.”

“Is that a taunt?” You asked, readying another arrow. Your husband smirked and shrugged.

Rumlow, whose chin was previously tucked into his chest as he cowered in fear, raised his head and shot an angry glare at his cousin. “Steve, you son of a –“he gasped when an arrow flew right in front of his face, inches from his eyes.

“And before, you think you can run,” you called out. Rumlow didn’t even hear – nor see – you draw an arrow as he screamed out in agony. The pain shot through his body as his eyes found an arrow lodged into his knee. You lowered the bow and sent a smirk his way before walking off towards the castle. “Bring him back to his cage.” You ordered the two guards who were in charge of his imprisonment.

As they dragged the disgraced lord away, James sent a curious glance towards his king. “I’m worried about her.” James muttered.

“As am I,” Sam agreed.

“She’s angry,” Steven said. “Her anger is rather justified.”

“Rumlow should’ve already been executed for his crimes,” Sam reminded. “If you are keeping him alive to sate your queen’s vengeance, then I’m afraid you are the cruel king you’re painted out to be.” The men chuckled at his jest.

“We cannot execute a noble without a proper trial,” Steven sighed.

“You beheaded Sharon without – “

“She confessed to the king about her betrayals,” James explained. “Rumlow has not.”

Steven added, “(Y/N)’s merely trying to coax it out of him.”

“He’s a rather tough shell to crack.” Sam agreed. “How is she, really, Steve?”

The king sighed. He glanced to the castle to see that you had already disappeared within its walls. Steven could barely understand your grief nor your pain. In the days that followed Rumlow’s capture, he had expected it to be easier for you. You had the opportunity to lash out and torture his cousin, and, to his surprise, you gladly took it. Steven thought that after wreaking havoc on his cousin that you would finally open up to him and allow him to be there for you, but you barely spoke to him about the incidents that plagued your nightmares. In fact, you barely spoke to him at all.

“It’s as if I’ve married a ghost,” Steven shook his head. “She thrashes around at night. I fear she replays the terrors in her mind when her eyes close. I see it in her eyes. Beneath the anger, the rage… She’s … She’s broken.” He sighed and rubbed his chin, slightly missing the roughness of his beard. “Any word of Pierce’s whereabouts?”

“Some say he’s hidden within the ranks of Thanos’s army. Others say he’s fled on a boat, but we would’ve caught him by now if he had been…” James said.

“Has King Anthony been informed?” Steven asked.

“We sent word we were looking for him, yes, but I’m sure Nat would relay the current events that took place to him,” James sighed. “Perhaps, you should talk to your wife?”

Steven shook his head. He didn’t want to pressure you into reopening the wounds – though he wasn’t even sure if the wounds had healed, yet. He felt as if he were walking on thin ice around you. Too harsh of a step forward, the ice would snap, and he’d get lost in the cold. He didn’t want to lose you by pushing you too hard. He had to believe that you’d come back to him in your own time.

»»————-　⚜　————-««

Steven slowly entered the bedchamber. He had expected you to be sitting on the bed or standing on the balcony – it had become one of your favorite places after the night with the lanterns. But you were nowhere to be found. The king began to worry about your absence when he heard sloshing of water coming from the bath.

He knocked on the door before he entered. “(Y/N)?”

“He has yet to confess,” you muttered. Your knees were pushed up against your chest with your head resting on top of them. You were growing increasingly annoyed by Brock’s resilience. You glanced up at your husband who had nothing but concern all over his face.

“He will eventually,” Steve whispered. “But I’m not concerned about his confession…”

“No,” you said. “You shouldn’t be. You should be preoccupied with finding Pierce.”

“I’ve sent men out to look for him.”

“They aren’t doing their job!” You snapped. “Pierce is a powerful man. He’ll bribe his way to safety! You have to –“

“(Y/N)…”

“No!” Steve’s tongue grazed the back of his teeth as he watched you thrash about in the water. “We can’t… I can’t… I can’t just sit and wait while he – they – get away with this.” Your voice shook as you took your head in your hands. “I … I don’t – I can’t.” He watched as the rage slowly receded as the grief took over.

Instinctively, your husband rushed to your side and wrapped himself around you. He didn’t mind his clothes getting wet – he was just concerned for you. He rubbed your back as he tried to soothe you, allowing you to cry into his chest.

“I want him dead, Steve,” you whispered, voice muffled into his clothes. “I want them both dead.” The words frightened you. You would’ve never wished death upon anyone, but the two men deserved it.

“As do I,” he nodded. “But we cannot execute him without a confession.”

“He will not confess.” You repeated.

“I will make him confess,” Steve promised.

“Is it awful that I want to be the one to swing the ax?”

Steve shook his head. “No. You deserve to be the one to put him into his grave.” He kissed the top of your head.

“I want him to look me in the eyes and tell me everything,” you muttered. “I want him to confess.”

“He’ll crack.” Steve promised. “You will make him crack.”

»»————-　⚜　————-««

“Boy!” Pierce called for the young sailor – Peter was his name. “Boy!”

“What, old man?” Peter snapped as he loaded the cargo onto the ship. Peter grew rather annoyed with the man’s incessant complaints. If he got off his lazy ass and helped, maybe I’ll load these faster, Peter thought as he rolled his eyes.

“What’s taking so long?”

The sailor sighed as he looked over to see kingsguard searching every boat. Peter shrugged. “Can’t leave, yet.”

“And why not?”

“You hidin’ from somethin’?” Peter asked, arching an eyebrow at the cloaked man. He wondered why “Alex” wore a cloak… The sun was blistering hot.

“I’m just not fond of boats,” Pierce waved his hand. “Just want to get the travel over with.”

Peter sighed as the kingsguard approached. “Well, I think the king’s looking for something… or someone. He’s got kingsguard searching boats.”

“What?” Pierce’s eyes widened.

“You!” Ser James Rhodes stalked up to the young sailor. “Have you seen any strangers recently?”

Peter shrugged. “Just him.” He said, pointing to the cloaked man who was huddled up in the corner of the boat. “He’s just hitching a ride with me. What are you men looking for?”

The knight paid no attention to the young man’s question. His attention focused on the man in the cloak. “Odd choice of clothing on this hot day, sir,” Rhodes told the man. The boat rocked beneath his feet as he stepped onto it.

“You’re the one in a metal suit.” Pierce faked an accent.

Peter’s face scrunched in confusion. The man hadn’t spoken like that before.

“Well, you’re the one hiding behind a thick cloak,” Rhodes chided, faking a laugh. He took another step towards the boat. His hand clutched the hilt of his sword, ready to draw it if needed. “Please do reveal yourself, sir.”

“I’m fine where I am.”

“I’m afraid I must insist.” Another step. Another.

The cloaked man suddenly leapt up, a short dagger in his hand. He swung at the knight, who brought his sword up, deflecting the older man’s attack with ease. His sword cut through the man’s wrist. Pierce groaned in agony as his free hand shot up to grab at the bleeding stump. Rhodes grabbed Pierce by the cloak and hauled him off the boat.

“I believe the Brooken King has been searching for you, Lord Pierce,” Rhodes said. “But my king wants a few words.” He walked past Peter. “Thank you, kid. The crown appreciates it,” he told him. “Sorry ‘bout the boat.”

#steve rogers #king!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #king!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #king!steve rogers imagine #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #captain america imagine #captain america #captain america x reader #royalty au #marvel royalty #marvel au #bring him light

560 notes · View notes

addictedtomanga · 4 years ago

Text

Shoujo manga recommendations - unrequited love

1. 360 Degrees Material

Taki is the cool yet strange guy in Mio's class. She bumps into him at the subway station after school and saves him after he almost gets pushed onto the tracks. The next day, he returns the favor by saving her from an incoming car. This marks the start of Mio's love.

2. Ai Kara Hajimaru

Sakura Ai has always loved sunflowers, as they appear like the sun, which incidentally also was the name of her first crush, Taiyou, in the 3rd grade. From since then, Ai has never had another love and has also become quite introverted, but after meeting a guy with the same name, somethings will begin to change…

3. Anta Nante Okotowari

Yui has a deep love for her "older brother" (they're not actually siblings, but are related), and she is devastated when he gets married. While at the wedding, Yui meets a sobbing boy, Kaoru. It turns out that his cousin (that he was in love with) is the one Yui's brother is marrying. When Yui moves into a boy's dorm so she can seek out new love, she finds that the head of the dorm is none other than Kaoru!

4. Ao Haru Ride

Yoshioka Futaba has a few reasons why she wants to "reset" her image and life as a new high-school student. Because she's cute and had a demure personality she was ostracized by her female friends in junior high, and because of a series of misunderstandings and mishaps, she couldn't get her feeling across to the one boy she has always liked, Tanaka Kou. Now in high school, she is determined to be as unladylike as possible so that her friends won't be jealous of her. While living her life this way contentedly, she meets Tanaka-kun again, but he now goes under the name of Mabuchi Kou. He tells her that he felt the same way as she did when they were younger, but that they cannot go back. Will Futaba be able to continue her love that never even started from three years ago?

5. Awayuki no Namida

Ritsuka, who likes to watch the snow as it falls, has an unrequited love for Fubuki, who lives with an older woman. Ritsuka and Fubuki fall in love, but Fubuki still has past debts toward the older woman, who was his dead brother's fiancee.

6. Bambi to Dhole

Yukimi is her real name but everyone calls her Bambi. She is the student discipline committee member who locks students out of the school if they're a minute late, but sneaks cigarette breaks on the roof. Lone wolf transfer student Tetsu Nagasawa hops the fence after she locks it and breaks her cigarette in half when he finds her on the roof, but he's a super nice guy to a mother and baby on the train. Bambi already has a boyfriend but will the wolf steal her heart?

7. Celeste Blue

Eishi is one of those popular guys that are smart, good looking, and is good at sports. However, he thinks people and "love" are bothersome and would rather not deal with either of them. When his teacher told him to help this girl, Uta, to study, he dreaded the idea of having to stick with such an annoying girl. Soon, though, his heart starts to lighten up towards her.

8. Datte, Kimi ga Warau kara

Let’s get into a time machine and return to that time. Where it was always fun and you were always laughing, to that time... "I only have three more months to live" Yui who just transferred to a new school in the countryside becomes Ryo’s classmate. Yui who is suffering from an illness has a "wish" that she can’t tell anyone, but Ryo wants to grant her that wish but… After death, reality hits Ryo and Yui. This is the story of the eternal promise that was made by the two of them.

9. Eien no Mae

Arisa has had a crush on classmate Nageki since the school festival, but has never spoken to him. Will she be able to strike up a conversation before they part ways at graduation?

10. Futari no Himitsu

Saijou Kiki is a model and child star and with the release of her new commercial her popularity skyrockets. At school, she harbors feelings for Takumi-kun... but somehow ends up kissing his friend Teppei?! And what's more, they've switched bodies due to some sort of old legend?!

11. Getsuyoubi Kara Kataomoi

Despite his one-sided love, a prince at school encouraged his crush to confess to her crush. But he also could not resist confessing to her. What will happen?

12. Hachimitsu ni Hatsukoi

Koharu and Nacchan are childhood friends which many of their friends thought they are a dating couple. Soon, after getting into senior high school, Koharu feels something different with Nacchan. While Koharu tries to figure out her feelings, Nacchan's already falling in love with someone else, the beautiful Saionji, but his love doesn't stop him from caring for Koharu. Does what Nacchan feel towards Saionji really be love? Why can't he let Koharu go on a blind date?

13. Hatsukoi Hakusho

A collection of one shots.

14. Hiren Trip

Miyu, an ordinary new first-year student who hopes to become a mangaka meets the schools’ class president who seems to have a hidden side to him. While being pushed around by the cool but private class president, the curtain on Miyu's stormy school life is raised.

15. Katakoi Triangle

Sekiya-san of the cultural library has an unrequited love for Yuuki-kun. The one who cares about Sekiya-san is the popular Kasai-kun, who is also Yuuki-kun's friend! And, what's this? Yuuki-kun is rooting for Kasai-kun?! It seems that everyone's feelings are one-sided... or are they?

16. Kimi ga Inakya Dame tte Itte

Nayu and Oumi are childhood friends. Without realizing it, Nayu finds she has fallen for Oumi over the years. However, just as she comes to terms with her feelings, Oumi reveals himself to be in love with the pretty Tsuzuki-san in his class. How will Nayu deal with such heartbreak?

17. Kimi o Omou Toki

What does it mean to love? Most of the time, I don't know... Falling in love with someone always ends up with a farewell. Encounters in which you can meet a kind man are very rare. For someone to tell me, "Momo-chan, I love you very much~ ♪" and to caress me with a smile... I don't understand the meaning of those things. Still, that kind of behavior gives me a warm feeling and makes my head spin.

18. Kimi to Kyun Koi, Shiyou

A collection of one shots.

19. Kobayashi ga Kawai Sugite Tsurai

The comedy starts when the cross-dressing begins! The Kobayashi twins, Mego and Mitsuru, were named after historical figures, but only Mego has grown up with a taste for history. So when Mitsuru is in danger of losing his weekends to extra history classes, he convinces his sister to swap clothes with him and ace his tests! After all, how hard can it be for them to play each other? But Mego can’t rely on just her book smarts in Mitsuru’s all-boys, delinquents’ paradise of a high school. And Mitsuru finds life as a high school girl to be much more complicated than he expected!

20. Koi dano Ai dano

After constantly transferring during middle school (Warau Kanoko-Sama), Naedoko has entered Takara No Tani High along with Tsubaki. Follow her adventures as she tries to restore the Newspaper Club's status without being noticed by the Broadcasting Club or Student Council...!

21. Koi ni Dokubari

Youthful, real love between a pure girl x sharp-tongued boy. ‘The boy I’ve had a long unrequited love for has found himself a girlfriend. On top of that, she’s my best friend. Even though I’m the one who met him and fell in love with him first. Why did he not choose me…?’ Heart-broken Aya meets Ryuu, an unpredictable, older boy. Aya gradually begins to be drawn to this sharp-tongued, but kind Ryuu. However, this love isn’t straightforward at all. “When you fall in love, you can’t keep being a ‘kind, good girl’.” Ryuu’s words pierce her heart, doesn’t disappear and is painful, but…?

22. Last Game

Yanagi is rich, smart, a girl-magnet, and always at the top of his class... well, until Kujou transferred in his primary school. She was quiet, plain, and poor, yet not once has she failed at beating Yanagi, both in academics and sports! Yanagi has made it his life goal to defeat her and thus, followed her from elementary until college over the past 10 years. Only when he decides to change the rules might he finally win. Here comes their last game!

23. Love so Life

Shiharu is a high-school student who loves kids, lives in an orphanage, and works at a daycare... Until the handsome uncle of two-year-old twins offers her a raise if she'll be their babysitter. Often relying on memories of her mother's actions for guidance, Shiharu quickly finds herself falling in love with her new makeshift family.

24. Mako to Aki-chan no Koigokoro

A collection of one shots.

25. Metallic Colors

The story of a stylish and gaudy girl who strives to win the heart of the boy she likes.

26. Nonchan to Watashi

Risa and Takumi are childhood friends, but due to a fight in the past, they stopped talking to each other. Now university students, Takumi is a famous playboy who goes out with a different girl every day, and Risa still regrets not having been able to apologize for what she did six years ago...

27. Orange

In the Spring she was 16, Takamiya Naho receives a strange, but detailed letter from herself, ten years in the future. At first she thinks the letter is a prank, but then the things written in the letter actually happen, including the new transfer student that sits next to her in class, Naruse Kakeru. The letter reads just like her diary entries, down to the same characters. It is not till two weeks later, when Kakeru shows back up at school, that Naho finishes the letter. In the letter, her 27-year-old self tells her 16-year-old self that her biggest regret is that Kakeru is no longer with them in the future, and asks her to watch him closely.

28. Propose no Okite

A high school girl becomes a wife?! And her husband is the worst man? Because she had to pay her family’s debt, she married! The husband is the son of a big Hotel company. The first time she saw him she said "You got a wife thanks to your money! You’re the worst!" "I maybe the worst", he said "but you’ll have to live all your life by my side…"

29. Saboten no Himitsu

Miku Yamada has a longtime crush on classmate Kyohei Fujioka. But no matter how many times she tries to show him how she feels, clueless Kyohei just doesn't get it. Frustrated, Miku gives up on him, only to have him start calling her "Cactus" for being prickly when he's around. Will Kyohei ever figure out Cactus's secret?

30. Shitsuren Biyoushitsu

A collection of one shots.

31. SP x Baby

A romantic comedy about a privileged man and his kickass female bodyguard. Tamaki Hasegawa misses an interview for a much-needed job in order to stop an assault on a man running for his life! The man—Kagetora Sugo, the prime minister’s nephew—then asks Tamaki to become his bodyguard. Tamaki isn’t sure she’s cut out to be a bodyguard, but Kagetora has another reason for wanting to hire her. Unbeknownst to her, they’ve met before…

32. Special A

Her whole life, Hikari Hanazono has been consumed with the desire to win against her school rival, Kei Takishima--at anything. He always comes out on top no matter what he does, and Hikari is determined to do whatever it takes to beat this guy!

33. Suki desu Suzuki-kun

Suzuki Hikaru, Hoshino Sayaka, Ito Chihiro and Suzuki Shinobu are all new students who have just entered the same middle school. Sayaka is a shy girl who secretly loves acting. Hikaru is an energetic boy who loves basketball. Incidentally, he shares the same last name with Shinobu, a popular rich boy who would be perfect if not for his rotten personality. Chihiro is Hikaru’s childhood friend and has long had a crush on him.

34. Wana Love - Wanna be the Honey Trap

Mayuko is a model. She's acting like a beauty in front of guys but in fact she's suffering of an unrequited love with the cameraman Nagumo...Will she reveal her true nature through his lens...?

35. Yoshiwara Hana Oboro

Hana is a normal teenager who goes to school normally, that is until she gets run over by a car... or did she? Suddenly, she finds herself in a weird place known as the "Red Light District"... in EDO PERIOD?! Trying to find a way to get back to her own time, she somehow gets mistaken for a prostitute and has to escape. Not expecting to be saved by a gentleman, she suddenly ends up in a geisha house.. but then she is bought by the same guy who helped her earlier?!

36. Yumemiru Taiyou

While loitering in the park, Shimana Kameko, who intended to run away from home and skipped school, meets a suspicious man in a kimono. This man, who had been locked out of his house, offers Shimana a place to stay. However, he requests she fulfill three conditions in exchange for her tenancy?!

#manga #shoujo recommendation #unrequited love #romance #ao haru ride #bambi to dhole #kobayashi ga kawai sugite tsurai #last game #love so life #orange #special a #suki desu suzuki kun #yumemiru taiyou #one shot #sherlock #shoujo manga #mangacap #mitsuki kako #wana love

129 notes · View notes

thesedangeroustemptations · 3 years ago

Text

Decided to post one of my OC’s on here, so I hope y’all like her

( the devil's match ) ┊ ❛ ya know, being a dick will not make yours any bigger, so can we skip that step and get to the part where I break your neck? ❜

character name . . kyomi tausa'afia ka'uhane.

title / ring name . . ms. ka'uhane / 'the goddess of volcanoes and destruction, pele!'

meaning of names . .

kyomi: "pure and beautiful, to cleanse." named after her paternal grandmother, it was one handed down every few generations to those who seemed to shine bright with purity from birth, which was exactly what she appeared to have done. as she grew, she always had a shining glint in her eye, though many would say it's one of mischief while others see differently.

tausa'afia: " pleasant, lovable " in the first few days of her life, she didn't have a middle name as their family reserved it for when their personality began to shine through, that way they had a name that fit them that emerged later on. kyomi was a sweet and adorable baby, capturing the hearts of anyone who held or even looked at her, hence why her middle names meaning reflects just that.

ka'uhane : " soul, spirit " the surname is from her father's family line, having been derived 1500 years ago to distinguish his family's martial arts as users of spirit and soul, versus just muscle and occasional mind.

nicknames . .

" i can't believe you'd put yourself in danger like this, kyo, do you thrive on getting your head kicked in that badly? " — wakatsuki takeshi, seething, after winning her battle against saw paing but sustaining major injuries.

" pele, you'd better not fucking lose, fuck him up! " — adam dudley and cosmo imai yelling at her from the stands during her match.

" the strength of your spirit never ceases to amaze me, tausa, but remember, even the strong need to rest sometimes, and you need to realize that doesn't make you weak. rest now, get your revenge when you're healed. " — sawada keizaburo, attempting to comfort his best friend after being unsure of whether her unborn child will survive due to being forced to fight in the kengan annihilation matches despite her condition.

" you still haven't figured it out yet, 'omi? you cannot love both of us and act like it's fine and dandy. fucking pick or i'll kill him right now. " — ohma tokita confronting kyomi after finding out that she's been sharing a bed with Ichiro Nakata as well as him, ready to kill the supposed 'superman'.

age . . kyomi is is twenty years of age

gender . . she was born of the female gender.

height/weight . . she stands at 5'2'' while weighing 155lbs of pure muscle.

appearance . . " oh, but that's the irony, broken people like her are not fragile. "

kengan match records . . 46 wins, 0 loses.

physical scent . . kyomi's natural scent is one of the saltwater and sandalwood, with hints of plumeria flower.

sexual orientation . . she is bisexual, biromantic.

marital status . . currently not married.

" i can't believe your sweet-tempered father was reincarnated into that girl. she's tough as nails. "

occupation . . kengan fighter, personal body guard / assassin, head of the ka'uhane clan with the inherited abilities of her ancestors. *

personality type . . enfj-t — the protagonist.

[ positive ]

‣ motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others

‣ very perceptive about people's thoughts and motives

‣ fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic

‣ strive for "win-win" situation

‣ loyal and committed

‣ warmly affectionate and affirming

[ negative ]

‣ tendency to be smothering and over-protective/manipulative and controlling

‣ doesn't pay enough attention to her own needs

‣ critical of opinions and attitudes which don't match her own/sometimes unaware of social appropriateness or protocol

‣ extremely sensitive to conflict, with a tendency to sweep things under the rug as an avoidance tactic/blames herself when things go wrong, and not give themselves credit when things go right

‣ her sharply defined value systems make her unbending in some areas/she may be so attuned to what is socially accepted or expected that she's unable to assess whether something is "right" or "wrong" outside of what her social circle expects

personality description . . ❛ part of her mystery is how she is calm in the storm and anxious in the quiet. ❜

‣ kyomi is a typically bright, energetic and friendly individual, radiating warmth and acceptance to all those who come in contact with her. her kindness is talked of in abundance with her people, as well as her humor that can at times have the entire tribe rolling about with laughter. exceptionally considerate of others feelings, she will often force hers down to where she no longer has to deal with them so she can focus on the tasks/needs of others at hand. despite all of this, she is a skilled warrior who’s talents outshine those who are double her age and trained every moment of the time, leading to her confidence in her abilities to border on cocky. with these abilities however, she is able to defend her tribe and grow an ever expanding bodyguard service from those she’s trained, hiring them out to the highest bidder with these skills. her intelligence is what helped her launch the idea, her mistrust and misjudgement will end up being her downfall; getting her into situations where she’s forced to be the compeditor for Omni Air International, who threatened to level her village if she didn’t comply. over her family and fellow villagers she is fiercely protective and thoughtful, willing to lay down her life if need be for them so they could continue to live in peace. aside from that, she at times can be extremely angry and resentful of the hand she had been dealt, knowing that it was beyond her control and that was what bothered her the most. in competition, she is a blood thirsty and calculating competitor, who would rather break necks than ask or answer any questions directed at her. when pushed to it, she will shut down the side that everyone knows and loves entirely, revealing a murdeous monster who would tear down anyone in her path.

likes . . relaxing in the sun, training, eating exotic and new foods, spending time with her twin children.

dislikes . . being told what to do/forced into situations where she has no control, arrogant people, disloyalty, early mornings.

skills . . healing by meditation, knive throwing, rock/ice climbing, cooking, drawing/painting, ballet, hula dance.

any flaws . . she can be very critical of others with no real cause, her jealousy is out of control, she’s got a large scar on her back, left hip and left thigh from when she was attacked by a shark at the age of 12.

personal phobias . . deep bodies of water, dark spaces, being alone,

habits . . nail biting, smoking, constantly triple checking her surroundings, self isolation when feeling vulnerable.

weapons . . seismic senescing through her hands and feet, pressure point and medical knowledge, garrote, knive throwing, judo, kenpo, jujitsu, grappling, wrestling.

family or blood relatives . . — akela ka’uhane | father, 39 years old | alive | intermediate chief along side his wife in his daughters absence/guardian of his grandchildren.

— makani ka’uhane | mother, 37 years old | alive | intermediate chieftess alongside her husband in her daughters absence/guardian of her granddaughter/healer

— noe olina ka’uhane | daughter, 3 years old | alive | living with her grandparents while her mother is away, training in meditation and energy control with her grandfather.

—- kanoa haikili ka’uhane | son, 3 years old | alive | living with his grandparents while his mother is away, training in meditation and energy control with his grandfather.

affiliated company / empoleeyer . . omni air international

friends . . — miyuki dotokayashi | best friend | alive | daughter of naga dotokayashi, ceo of Omni air international

— sawada keizaburo | best friend/unofficial bodyguard & uncle to her children | alive | kengan fighter/employed by murder music.

— wakatsuki takashi | best friend/father figure | alive | kengan fighter/empoyed by furumi pharmaceuticals.

— saw paing yoroizuka | close friend | alive | kengan fighter/employed by village of the dawn.

— adam dudley | close friend | alive | kengan fighter/employed by boss burger.

— imai cosmo | close friend/brother figure | alive | kengan fighter / employed by nishihonji security services.

— okubo naoya | close friend/ex-lover | alive | kengan fighter.

— himuro ryo | close friend | alive | kengan fighter.

— kaneda suekichi | close friend | alive | kengan fighter.

— gaolang wongsawat | close friend | alive | kengan fighter.

romantic interest(s) . . ohma tokita & ichiro 'lihito' nakata — ❛ you’re selfish, is what you are. making us both love you and then refusing to choose, what the fuck is your game? ❜

— ohma 'the ashura' tokita : my, oh my. the relationship between ohma and kyomi began when they first encountered each other during her first trip to japan 2 years prior, representing Omni Air International and winning 27 consecutive matches before the annihilation tournament took place. they met in a coffee shop, he decided to stop in and devour whatever pastries they had on display for the day, and due to his large, intimidating frame, most people were afraid of him and kept his distance; not kyomi. she found his seemingly brooding and potentially aggressive nature comical in contrast to the sweet treats he was eating, so she being the outgoing individual she was, went up to him and asked him how the desserts tasted now that he'd robbed everyone else of the chance. her boldness and confidence in the way she carried herself was enough to catch his attention and intrigue, so he invited her to sit with him and try the remains of what he hadn't inhaled just yet. it was in that sit down, taste testing the different assortments that laid in front of them, that a bond was formed and only grew with the more time they spent together, finding more commonalities than initially suspected. as close as they got, there was still a wall put up between the two of them, set up unintentionally by both parties to refrain from either getting hurt. this didn't stop jealousy and possessiveness to overwhelm the 'relationship' that they had developed, resulting in it's momentary end in an explosive way. now, two months later, they met once again at the kengan annihilation tournament representing their respective companies, which was a shock to them both, especially on her end. the greatest shock for ohma was when the new 'superhuman' he had been introduced to a little while prior to this, was now following around his woman like a puppy, only sparking the killer instinct within him that lie just beneath the surface. that, and the hickies and love marks that covered her body in the most obvious and infuriating places. now aggressive and hostile toward the woman who somehow held a vice grip on his heart, he couldn't help but blame himself at the same time for allowing her to slip through his fingers, however he will be damned if he lets 'lihito' steal what's his. with kyomi seeming to decide that she was fine with loving the both of them, fucking the both of the, that was when he snapped and would become a much more outwardly angry person than his usual calm demeanor, lashing out at any person who happened to make the wrong comment in his presence. despite his feelings of rage and hostility toward the situation, he couldn't help the fact that he loved her, and he would continue to love her even if he hated the choices that she was making, and the fact that even though he knew her for two years time now, it still felt as though she was hiding a part of herself from him, which was frustrating for the fighter, because in their long nights together, he had spilled his guts to her, given her every part of him, and he was met with this.

— ichiro ‘lihito’ nakata : meeting this goddess was a complete accident, one that ichiro was more grateful for than he cared to admit out loud- scratch that, he'd happily yell it from whatever roof top she requested. having met after he was observing his competition for the next few matches, he quickly took notice of the seemingly unbeatable 'pele', swiftly deciding two things: that she would soon be his, and he did not want to fight her in any upcoming matches, because he knew he would get his ass handed to him, and that wasn't something the self proclaimed superhuman could afford to his ego or image. after she mopped the floor with her opponent, he approached her and asked if she would like to get something to eat, explaining he knew just how strenuous and appetite increasing these matches could be, it didn't take much pressure to get her to agree. the two went to an authentic japanese ramen shop, as she had never been before and had only been in japan for a few days, which was mostly spent fighting or training, this being the first time she actually had a moment to herself to breath. they ate bowl after bowl, stacking the piles high as they could go before ichiro realized that this woman had not only stolen his heart, but emptied his wallet as well, not that he minded. her smile and full belly was all he cared about at that moment. over the next few months, the two became closer and closer, though there was weeks where she would pull away and disappear, for reasons he did not know of; come to find out much later, she was spending the other parts of her time with the infamous ohma tokita, his self decided rival in the kengan matches. this discovery once they had arrived at the tournament only fueled ichiro's rage and desire to win, to prove that he was the better man, the stronger man, the one for her. though the two decided amongst themselves that they would compete for her heart, they were infuriated to see that she decided that it was fine to simply love them both, which wouldn't have been too terrible for him if it wasn't for the fact that ohma made it abundantly clear that he wasn't okay with that, and would repeatedly threaten ichiro's life, which was met with the response of 'try it' every single time. the relationship that they have is a rather lax and easy going one, though at times he can be a bit smothering and over-protective, that's only because he doesn't want to lose out on what he sees as his one chance at happiness.

backstory . . kyomi was born the only child to a long line of renowned martial artists, one that had developed it's own style that included many aspects that weren't included in the traditional way of teaching. over 1500 years ago, her ancestors figured out how to manipulate matter and atoms, giving them partial manipulation over their surroundings as well as a physical power up. they also figured out the ability to heal themselves faster through the power of meditation, which came in handy for those who chose to be warriors, such as kyo. the longer the line, the more ancestors that could be called upon for assistance in a fight, using their knowledge and own distinct styles of fighting, the stronger the power up, making kyomi at the time, the strongest ever of her line, surpassing that of her past life and previous tribal chief by what seemed like miles. from a young age, she displayed strong discipline and technique, mastering things thrown at her within a few days time and leaving her teachers in absolute awe, as well as her parents, though they also beamed with happiness. the ancestral spirit didn't manifest in every generation, it only happened when the current host dies, so it can be passed to the new one, which so happened to be a feisty, strong-willed and opinionated young woman who was more than willing to kill for her goals and those she cares for. at the age of 16, she made the mistake of getting too attached to a tourist visiting one of the vacation spots on the main parts of her island, resulting in her losing her virginity and discovering she was pregnant a few months later. with the support of her family and village, she had her children and would not have been able to handle it without the backing that she had. as chieftess in training, her father and mother handled most things for her while she focused on her own children, but also growing up still given she had them so young. it was during this time that it became apparent that she was suffering from post-partum-rage, which was honed and harnessed into a deadly weapon to add precision and greater force behind her strikes. at the age of 18, she was brought to omni air international headquarters by her best friend, being told that her father wanted someone strong to represent his company in what was known as the kengan matches in japan. this didn't appeal to her too much, initially she refused, but when her home and tribe were threatened with extinction, her own children who were innocent, she had no choice but to comply. her best friend had no knowledge of this, and was unable to stop her father from forcing her companions hand, but it was no use, he would not budge on his decision. she was the strongest by far that he had come across, and he wouldn't let her slip through his fingers when he had the power to bend her to his will, no matter the rage and resentment he was building within his fighter. after saying her goodbyes to her one and a half year olds, her parents and her village, she set off to japan, where she found it hard to adjust to the culture and the language, resulting in many fights and brawls due to misunderstandings. it was during this time that she met several people who would become close friends and mentors to her, the relationships forming due to their close proximity from the kengan matches, as they were all participants in some way or another. the romantic relationships she did not plan for, and being the privileged person that she was, assumed that she would just be able to have both of the people who had captured her heart, not taking their feelings into consideration whatsoever. this was a result of no one taking hers into consideration for bringing her there in the first place, forcing her to fight for the lives of her people and not being allowed to lose no matter what. she cared very little for what people viewed as 'fair', even if she did love them.

extra . . — kyomi is ambidextrous, though the punches from her left hand hurt far more than the ones from her right, she believes most of her past lives were prodominantly left handed, which she finds awesome as hell.

— even after two years, the people closest to her, aside from sawada and wakatsuki, known nothing about her life back in hawaii, which is something that she prefers to keep due to her not knowing who she can truly trust anymore.

— though both ohma tokita and ichiro nakata have perminent places in her heart, if she was forced to choose, she would have to drop them both because she couldn't bear hurting one by choosing the other

— sawada interestingly enough knew kyomi before she came to japan, having met her a few times when he and his employer made trips to hawaii to open new stores there for murder music, as he was her body guard as well as fighter. the two clicked while she was pregnant, he was very kind and thoughtful when interacting with her, never once judged her and was there when her twins were born. he's a brother that she never had, acting as her protector and best friend all at the same time; the relationship she has with lihito makes him sick to his stomach but it's her life, and he refuses to say anything for fear of getting his face kicked in.

— she and raian have an unspoken rivalry, due to them both having destructive power, and her being referred to as 'the devil's match'. kyomi finds his blood lust entertaining and would love to fight him, him feeling the same with her, but having a bordering obsession with her as well, having to keep constant tabs on her and be aware of where she is at all times, something he does his best to keep hidden from everyone, including those in the kure clan. If anyone is going to beat her for good it would be him.

#kengan ashura #kengan omega #kenganverse

14 notes · View notes

jade-doodles-questionmark · 4 years ago

Text

On Alexander, Angelica and Eliza

Heres some long-ass personal interpretation based on the musical that nobody following this blog signed up for lol. Not gonna be touching on history coz i’m no expert and there’re ppl way more qualified for that. and it’s good to keep things separated.

there’re obviously many similarities between the two A’s. Both are witty, outspoken, center of attention, and a bit of a flirt. To me, the most interesting trait shared by both is their awareness: They know exactly where they stand socially, and subsequently, how to play by the rules to climb up. This clear awareness is where I got the idea for the staircase drawings. “i’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich/ my father has no sons so i’m the one who has to social climb for one” is a demonstration of Angelica’s awareness, just as “As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war/ I knew that I was poor/ I knew it was the only way to rise up” shows Alexander’s.

it’s different for Eliza - i know as the show proceeds, she gradually becomes more ambitious and active, but in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story, what she asks, instead of how to rise up, is: “Have I done enough?” this quiet insistence is why i always see her as someone who does things because she thinks it’s a right thing to do, no matter whether that thing in question would benefit her personally or not. sure, she gives off "cinnamon roll" vibes, but girl’s no less strong or badass than Alexander or Angelica.

More under cut coz I’m incapable of being concise:

Angelica:

what always strikes me as interesting about Angelica is the contrast of what she says vs. what she does.

In The Schuyler Sisters, the majority of her lines are about empowering women, which, I think, is where the depiction of Angelica as an angry feminist comes from in some fanfics. But in Satisfied, we see she plays squarely by the rules of patriarchy and social classes (the three fundamental truths part).

Similarly, in TSS, she says "so men say I'm intense or I'm insane", seemingly unbothered, if not lowkey proud, by these comments, but in Satisfied, she talks about the resulting gossip if she were to marry Alexander.

I saw a post which expressed that Angelica thinks like Alexander but acts like Burr, and I agree. She has a sharp mind and is unafraid to speak out, like Alexander, but she’s also got things to lose, like Burr. Having family responsibilities means that she does not, and cannot, act without restrictions and hesitations like Hamilton. She doesn't necessarily wait it out like Burr, but she does think things thru, because the important decisions she makes carry enough weight to not only affect the future of herself but also of her family.

I had mentioned in an old post that Satisfied is basically Angelica assessing cost & gain for each of the options she has, for all the parties involved. even though that song's ending has mixed feelings and it's DEFINITELY a heartbreaking song, Angelica's choice did maximize the gain for everyone at the time: She was able to maintain her bond with Alexander and married rich to ensure her material comfort. Alexander was able to marry a Schuyler and elevate his status. Eliza got the boy she loved and was happily married. She even foresaw some possible challenges the newly wed Hamiltons were likely to face (“He’ll never be satisfied”).

She knows she lives in a world of patriarchy; she isn't happy with it, but she knows how to take advantage of the system as much as she can. She knows how to be the center of attention, be charming, and appeal to ppl. She knows what kind of husband is beneficial to have. She knows how to influence politics in her own way (take a break). Part of why I found Satisfied so sad is that her mind and her heart wish for two different things. Angelica is a realist, over everything else. She can be a feminist, but definitely not an angry one.

Alexander:

I talked a bit abt him in an older post on Maria - and a lot of what I said abt Maria applies to him. If the challenge Angelica was facing is invisible societal restrictions on women, what Alexander faces is purely regarding survival. Having needed to fight and compete for resources, I imagine he's at least somewhat influenced by the philosophy of social darwinism. I also said, in the same post, that I don't think he'd be really inclined to help ppl in the same difficulty he used to be in, for the same reason. If he could make it this far with his own hard work, how would it be fair to make things easier for others now? Would those ppl even deserve their success now the bar has been lowered? It's not exactly a right way of thinking, but it's also hard to blame him. after having to compete for resource w others in order to climb up, it’s hard to change the mentality.

I've seen a music analysis (by Howard Ho on YouTube) on Hurricane, and it concludes that when Hamilton was singing that song, he wasn't exactly recalling the past - he's been mentally living in that reality and never truly left. (There's similar remarks that Hamilton's past in the Caribbean had always plagued him despite his power and position in Chernow's biography, but we're only analyzing the musical here.) He never fully turned off his survival mode.

To clarify: by survival mode, I don't literally mean he fights to survive. He didn't exactly show a strong will to survive and was quite willing to give up his life for noble causes, up until he met Eliza. What I meant is, he remembers being destitute and helpless, he remembers seeing deaths of trivial importance, so he fights to be as far away from destitution and helplessness as possible, he fights to have the opportunity to die a glorious and noble death. Because to be able to die for something matters is still a privilege. No matter how high up he rose to position, his insecurity that he may end up losing those never faded away. This raw energy, I guess, is what gradually turned the others in the musical to be more like him.

Eliza:

Eliza seems to be the one who's the most content abt their situations out of the three. After all, one of her motifs in the musical is "look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now", and the other one is “that would be enough”.

ppl usually say Helpless and Satisfied should be listened back to back (and nothing wrong with that), but comparing these two songs, Helpless doesn’t explore as much of Eliza’s character as Satisfied does Angelica. Throughout Helpless, she’s spent most of the song narrating what happened and falling head over heels for Alexander. As for her first appearance in TSS, she doesn’t have as much of a voice and show of character in comparison to Angelica, Burr, other Peggy either.

The first moment we truly see her thoughts is in That Would Be Enough. It’s also in this song, her two other motifs (”that would be enough” and “narrative”) are introduced. Unlike Alexander and Angelica at that point of story, she’s happy with her life, wants it to remain that way, and doesn’t ask for more.

i dont mean she’s not ambitious like the other two - she’s driven, but by other things. she doesn’t think of legacy, material comfort, status, position, etc. as important as Angelica and Alexander, as we can see in Burn. it’s not that she doesn’t know the rules - girl’s not playing the game at all.

unlike the two A’s, Eliza’s growth happens in the second act. Angelica’s barely in the second act, and in the same act we see Alexander’s most trusted weapon, writing, contributing to his downfall. but for Eliza, she turns from the observer in Helpless, the supporter in That Would Be Enough, to the only one on stage in Burn, and to being the center of stage in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story. in the second act we see her going thru the series of most crushing heartaches: Reynolds Pamphlet, death of Phillip, and death of Alexander, but we also see her strength. she’s a good person, but ppl usually forget that being nice takes energy and strength too. it takes strength to support, to forgive, to mourn the passing of your loved ones, and to preserve their memories and legacy. she shines and grows after overcoming the loss and heartbreaks. Angelica says in Satisfied “she’d say 'i’m fine' but she’d be lying”, i don’t think she’s giving Eliza enough credit for her mental strength there lol.

side note: this is where i got idea for the eliza art from a few days ago - kintsugi represents the idea that your wound becomes your history and forms part of who you are, rather than something ugly to be ashamed of. I think it fits well with Eliza’s development.

Congrats! you’ve made it till the end! don’t know why u’d do that, but thanks!

if u’re reading this feel free to send me a simple art request to compensate the time u took reading my bullshit

#hamilton #alexander hamilton #hamliza #eliza schuyler #eliza hamilton #Angelica Schuyler #hamgelica #the schuyler sisters #character analysis #long post #*cough* Excuse me my lit major is showing #jades weird ideas

59 notes · View notes

elizabethvaughns · 3 years ago

Note

I listened to if then recently and I'm CONFUSED. I also watched a bootleg wich didn't help since I'm not really good in English and the bootlegs have bad audio quality. Do you have tips how I can understand it? Or can you explain it?

It seems like a cool musical and I wanna understand it so badly!!!

if you want me to explain it, i'd be happy to :)

(when i first watched it, i only understood some of the dialogue but i didn't know about the libretto so i just browsed the tumblr tag and hoped for the best lmao.)

i'd recommend reading the libretto of the musical if you want the exact dialogue, lyrics, and locations.

@ifthenslashers has it linked in their pinned post (thank you for that, by the way💙. your resources are very helpful :))

but the libretto is very long, so i'll try to summarize it best i can(under the cut).

i hope this is helpful!

elizabeth vaughn moves back to new york city after divorcing her husband oren after 12 years. as he's waiting for her, her best friend (and ex-boyfriend this is relevant), lucas talks to this kindergarten teacher, who walked up to him and started talking to him. when elizabeth comes to the park(they're meeting in a park), both lucas and kate(the kindergarten teacher) walk up to her. it turns out that kate is elizabeth's neighbor. kate asks elizabeth to go with her and meet new romantic prospects, have fun. she calls her liz. lucas(a housing activist) asks elizabeth to come with him to meet the other members of the new york citizens for change and to go to his street action in the subway. he calls her beth. this is where the timelines diverge.

liz-verse (liz chooses kate):

so liz goes with kate to get coffee. josh barton, an army doctor who just came back from his second tour, walks up to liz. he awkwardly flirts with her. liz gets a call from a number with the area code (347). she doesn't recognize it so she doesn't pick it up. josh asks for liz's number, liz says it's a new number so she doesn't know it, josh asks her if she believes in fate, she says she doesn't, she walks away. ("what if?")

the next day, liz, kate, and anne (kate's girlfriend) are on the way to brooklyn on the subway. the subway car stops for a bit due to a street action (lucas's group's). the three talk about men, and kate keeps pointing out different men on the subway. josh(also on the subway) walks up to liz. again awkwardly flirts. he's from nebraska(are any falsettos mutual reading this? if so, you know exactly what i'm thinking of lmao). kate conducts an instant public poll about fate and whether liz should take josh's number. liz eventually gives in and takes josh's number. ("it's a sign")

over the course of the next few days? weeks? kate sets liz up on various blind dates. during one of them, liz sees josh in the distance. she runs up to him and hugs him in a last-ditch attempt to end that date. she pretends josh is a very old friend of hers, josh plays along. it's been three times that the two met now. josh asks liz out, she says yes, they go on a date that very evening. they end it at liz's apartment("map of new york"). liz expresses her apprehension with...relationships due to the probabilities. josh basically says "you never know"(bc that's the name of the song) and you can never really tell what's going to happen. ("you never know")

soon, josh and liz go on a date to a baseball game(yes, my dear falsettos mutuals, that is absolutely correct). kate, anne, and lucas tag along. soon enough, josh and liz set lucas up with josh's best friend, david. lucas and david hit it off. ("ain't no man manhattan")

liz and josh hang out in liz's apartment, again. josh reveals that he was on the way to the airport when he was on the subway that day and he didn't go back to nebraska bc of her. they make out, liz runs into the bathroom to get her shit together, they....do the do.("what the fuck?").

the next morning, they wake up. they talk about their relationship. they say "i love you".("here i go")

in a few weeks?(by my best estimation), it's liz's birthday! lucas sees liz pouring her champagne out of her glass and confronts her about it. he and david find out she's pregnant. david asks lucas to move in. he says yes. liz tells josh about the pregnancy. kate proposes to anne. she says yes. josh proposes to liz. she says yes. ("surprise")

a c t t w o

josh and liz get married! ("this day/walking by a wedding")

liz is pregnant(duh). she reads in the newspaper that the idiot mayor's nephew's incompetence with city planning cost the life of a child. josh sings about his excitement for a kid, they have their first son, jake. ("hey kid")

time skip some two years.

liz and josh had a second kid, cooper. lucas and david are babysitting jake. lucas is riding on a skateboard with the stroller. liz is (justifiably) bewildered. david's like he's belted in and has a helmet, he's safe. liz and jake go back home, bc liz is free due to spring break(she teaches urban planning in a uni) and josh is on days.

david talks to lucas about having a kid. lucas is apprehensive because...reasons. they sing "best worst mistake" which is objectively the cutest song in the whole show. they say "i love you" to each other for the first time. ("best worst mistake")

josh gets deployed. liz is mad, she tells him to quit. he says he can't. soon enough, he has to go. after some time, some officers come to liz's door, tell her josh died due to an rpg attack on the medical facility. lucas helps her with the kids, she tells him to go, stay with david. ("i hate you")

(sidenote: i'm on the verge of tears rn bc i'm speedrunning the whole musical in my head. sorry.)

liz is grieving for josh. ("you learn to live without")

the gang(minus anne) goes to josh's funeral. it turns out kate and anne divorced because anne was cheating on kate. kate and lucas ask liz about giving josh an honor guard. she says that he wanted to be cremated and have his remains scattered over the platte river in nebraska(who even knew there was a river in nebraska?). david says that he's imagined his life without josh the past few weeks: josh was his best friend, he introduced him to the man he loves, etc. he asks liz that if she met josh the next day while still knowing that she would lose him, would she avoid taking that chance to avoid the loss, or take the chance anyways? ("what would you do?"). lucas, kate, and david go to get the car. liz has a revelation, of sorts. she promises josh to "start over" with her life every day, and, in a sense, not wallow in the what-might-be's("always starting over").

time skip a few months. liz meets stephen(you'll find out who he is, soon enough) and his wife cathy. he offers her a job in the department of city planning. she takes it. lucas and david are walking in the park with their kid, huck, in the background. lucas walks up to liz, sits down, they talk. lucas reveals he's always been a bit in love with her, liz is surprised. they are the brotp and i love them. ("what if?(reprise)")

the end.

beth-verse(beth chooses lucas):

beth gets a call, area code (347). lucas informs her it's the nyc area code. she picks up. it's stephen, one of beth's old friends from grad school. he offers her a job under him as deputy director of city planning. lucas tells her not to go because he doesn't like stephen and he thinks a job with the city does not make enough of an impact. beth and lucas reminisce about their college days. lucas kisses beth. josh, who is seen walking toward beth in the background, walks away. beth recoils. it's all awkward. beth says she'll still come to the street action. ("what if?")

lucas and beth get bench warrants because of the street action.

beth goes to meet stephen. she's a bit hesitant at first bc she doesn't have experience. but she interviews for the job and she gets it. kate sets beth up on numerous blind dates. on one of them, she discreetly texts lucas to help her out. he comes, she runs up to him and hugs him, the date takes his leave. lucas and beth head to lucas's apartment. beth gets a text from stephen. lucas is still miffed about beth taking a city job. lucas tells her it's a bad idea to get involved with the boss. beth denies that she is in the first place. ("map of new york")

time skip. a couple weeks.

the nycc is protesting the redevelopment of the far west side (bc,,, gentrification). a project that, coincidentally, beth is working on.

beth and stephen go to a baseball game. stephen asks beth to convince lucas to back down from the project. beth does so by promising lucas to introduce him to an editor she knows if he backs down from the project.

time skip, the project is a success. ("ain't no man manhattan")

a few weeks? later, stephen comes to beth's place with some plans. she kisses him. he kisses back. he leaves bc he's married. beth calls lucas, who comes right by.

beth and lucas hook up. ("what the fuck?")

beth tells lucas she's sent in her resignation. he tells her that even though he despises stephen, this cannot be the reason that she quits.

lucas wants to know the status of their relationship, beth claims it was purely a one-time thing. lucas tells her he loves her even if she doesn't love him back and that he will always be there for her. ("you don't need to love me")

beth goes to work. she hires a young grad, elena. kate comes in, tells her that she's her kindergarten class's american hero. stephen comes to beth with the resignation, she rips it up. stephen asks beth to do the speech for the project bc the deputy mayor resigned and he has to step up (which means beth is the new director of city planning! yay!). ("no more wasted time")

it's beth's birthday! beth, kate, anne, elena, and lucas have a small get together. when lucas is off getting the cake, the girls find out that beth is pregnant(because...lucas). beth is confused bc she doesn't know what to do with the pregnancy and the job opportunity. elena tells her to follow what she wants to do. lucas is smashed. he asks beth to move in with him. she refuses. he proposes. again, she refuses. ("surprise")

(it is implied that kate proposes to anne here as well)

a c t. t w o

beth walks by a wedding and contemplates shit about weddings.("this day/walking by a wedding") she aborted the pregnancy.

beth is babysitting elena's kid. elena tells beth that she's moving with her husband to oregon. beth is upset because elena reminds her a lot of herself.

2.5 years after the end of act one, we see lucas in the park. he has published his book. a young woman(paulette) comes up to him, asks for an autograph, implies he's old, you know how it goes. beth walks up to lucas. we learn that lucas has avoided all contact with beth bc he had to grapple with the fact that she aborted the fetus. lucas asks beth if she had, at least, thought about the possibility of the two having a kid together. the two contemplate various alternate universes. beth asks if they can still stay friends. lucas wonders if this was his last chance at love. he walks away. he almost runs into a bicyclist—david. ("some other me")

beth is at an awards ceremony preparing to receive an award. stephen comes to say hi. he asks her to come work with him in albany. beth refuses. we learn that stephen has divorced his wife, cathy. ("map of new york(reprise)")

(ok i'm crying again one sec)

beth learns to cope with being alone(romantically).("you learn to live without")

she goes on a flight to london, which has to make an emergency landing in maine. kate decides to divorce anne because she was flirting with someone else(and kate thinks anne doesn't love her anymore). beth calls lucas, and they mend their friendship.("the moment explodes")

lucas tells beth that kate and anne are getting divorced. beth rushes to the bookstore where the two are dealing with the papers. she convinces them not to get divorced. ("love while you can")

a few weeks later, beth, lucas, kate, and anne meet in the park. kate won the nyc teacher of the year award. beth is planning to run for the city council. josh, who just returned from his third tour overseas, walks up to beth. he says hi, asks her out. she says yes, but her friends are waiting for her. lucas and kate pretend to be engrossed in their own thing. beth agrees to go on a date with josh that very day. ("what if?(reprise)")

the end.

#if/then mutuals feel free to clarify/add on/correct me #ik the timeline switches can make it kinda hard to follow #i hope i summarized it better than wikipedia #long post #anon tag #hmm might rewatch if/then tonight #if/then

7 notes · View notes

hexhealed · 3 years ago

Photo

˗ ˏ ˋ ( kristine froseth, twenty-one, cis woman, she / her ) — is that ANDROMEDA BLACK just saw in the courtyard? i hear they’re a SLYTHERIN, returning for their SIXTH school year, but something more juicy is them being ENTERPRISING & THOUGHTFUL as well as DETACHED & CONFLICTED. if you want some more details on them, i guess i could tell you that they’re PUREBLOOD, and from the rumors i heard, they’re currently allying with THE NEUTRALS. personally, i think they remind of: solemn family portraits lining a darkened hall, puppet pulling at her strings, archaic tomes precariously stacked, aristocratic nose to the grindstone, the sweet sting of venom, honey, & healing. but that might be just me. — ( kit, she / they, 23 ) ˎˊ ˗

TW — unhealthy family dynamics, emotional abuse / neglect, v. vague allusions to mental health issues.

basics ,

full name. andromeda cygnella black. known as. andromeda, andie. age / date of birth. twenty-one / april 2nd, 1960. year. sixth year. blood status. pureblood. house. slytherin. alliance. neutral. gender / pronouns. cis woman, she / her. orientation. bisexual, biromantic, grey-ace. extracurriculars. chaser for the slytherin quidditch team; member of the herbology, potions, slug, and occamy dueling clubs; hospital wing volunteer. additional stats. click here.

early life ,

andromeda is born a mere few months after bellatrix, and is instantly her mother’s darling. for a long time, she doesn’t question — doesn’t even truly comprehend — the way her mother favors her, desperate as she is for her parents’ approval. they are exacting, demanding, withholding; they praise one daughter or another, it seems, only to shame the other two in their failures.

andie takes what she can get, where she can get it, for as long as she can, letting her parents pit her against her sisters in a constant battle for attention, affection, and approval. but it’s a battle she starts to lose, middle child that she is. despite all andromeda’s efforts, it seems being perfect comes as naturally as breathing to little narcissa, and druella redirects her favoritism towards her youngest daughter. and while bella is at a disadvantage, she makes up for it in sheer willpower; she turns herself into their father’s perfect slytherin heir, what andie was supposed to be. ( note, of course, that this is how andie experiences this; the truth is that each sister was of course neglected and traumatized in their own way ! )

for most of her early childhood, andie doesn’t really question the world she lives in; doesn’t think too hard about the wealth, the blood purity, the high society circles in which her family moves. it is as natural as the air around her. yet she manages nonetheless to ruffle feathers, draw suspicion. at age six she questions innocently why uncle marius has been cursed from the family tree; the answer horrifies her, though she tries to hide it, saying nothing and staying up late at night wondering if her parents would ever disown her for something like that.

( ..... will probably add some more once i’ve sorted some more black sisters plots ? )

she really enjoys quidditch and plays whenever she can find an opponent ( bella doesn’t care for the sport, and lets her know as much. ) it’s not a ladylike pursuit, her mother reminds her, but at least her father approves. at first, it’s only the children of her parents’ friends, all pureblood, all high-society, but as one by one they start going off to hogwarts, andie needs to find herself new friends. this is how she takes her first steps out of her ignorance, more interested in finding playmates than purebloods; but the common little muggleborn derisions that are the black family bread and butter do not do well among her new friends, and she starts realizing for the first time the unkindness of her family’s beliefs.

this is where the split starts, between andie and andromeda black, because whatever she is, she must be hidden; she leaves the façade of andromeda standing as she carefully slips out from behind it, and no one is much the wiser.

hogwarts ,

to finally go to hogwarts is a relief for andie. it offers an escape out of the stifling environment and the constant disapproval of her parents; at the same time, though, it gives her every opportunity to impress them. and she still wants to, especially following in bella’s footsteps; she’s always admired her older sister, always wanted to be just as clever, just as talented, just as capable. it’s this burning desire to be valued that has the sorting hat deciding, after just a few moments, to place her in slytherin.

and so without realizing she slips back, subsumed once more into pureblood ideology, so much stronger when impressed by her peers; it’s much easier to dismiss her parents as outdated, and keep her mouth shut, than it is to disagree with the cool upper years, especially when they are conspicuously nice to her.

as time passes, though, she slowly becomes something else other than bella’s little sister, expanding her horizons at last somewhat. she excels academically, as is expected of her — cygnus and druella would not suffer their children to enter school unprepared — and joins the potions and herbology clubs, spending less and less time in the slytherin common room. hoping to play quidditch, she tries out her first year but fails; in her second year, she secures a spot as a chaser.

her year three electives become something of a bone of contention over the preceding summer; alongside arithmancy, andie signs up for muggle studies. her family disapproves. she has to assure them it’s a purely academic pursuit, that she’s only curious but never sympathetic — and she doubts whether they’re convinced.

she’s still trying to be and seem apolitical, trying to toe the line, but with each passing year she finds it less and less sustainable. once, she might have been ignorant, simply might not have known better; now, she knows better, and she’s just a coward. at this point she can see straight through her family’s pureblood supremacy. but then, as much as it turns her stomach, they are her family. she loves them. and more than that, she fears them.

so to assuage her guilt andie simply overworks herself. ( can’t feel guilty if you’re too tired ! ) between club meetings, quidditch practices, and homework, she’s overworked as it is, but when her potions professor approaches and suggests, given her skill, she may be helpful to madam pomfrey in the hospital wing, she cannot refuse. it’s simple work, preparing ingredients, cleaning, changing sheets, but she finds it oddly rewarding.

in her o.w.l. consultations, andromeda decides to pursue healing; she’s fascinated by magical medicine, and fantasizes about doing research and experimental magic, about pushing boundaries. but her parents would be happier if she simply said she wanted to be a st. mungo’s healer, so that’s what she says. the christmas holidays in her fifth year are the first holidays she chooses to stay at hogwarts; she tells her parents she simply must, that between her clubs, quidditch, and o.w.l.s she’s much too busy for a holiday. truth is, she simply dreads spending two weeks alone with her family.

she excels at her o.w.l.s, but it doesn’t leave her feeling proud, just relieved that she won’t have to face her parents empty-handed. the idea of spending all summer back in her family home is torturous, but thankfully she doesn’t have to; her parents pull some strings, talk to some old family friends and secure her an internship at st. mungo’s over the summer. she expresses her gratitude politely to them, and her relief to her friends in cautious letters, and stays in a room in the city for nearly the whole summer.

personality , hcs , etc. ,

got the nickname andie at hogwarts; her family has always called her by her full name. her parents seemed unreasonably upset with her about it — something about throwing away family tradition, not honoring their wishes for her, and other nonsense.

loves to throw herself into her responsibilities, hobbies, and interests as a way of avoiding inner turmoil; has a strong problem-solving impulse that gets way worse whenever she has bigger, unsolvable problems.

speaking of, she loves herbology, catch her in the greenhouses most days of the week. she loves the smell, the warmth, the dirt beneath her nails, the way the rest of the school grounds outside feel so distant behind the glass. the greenhouses are her church and sanctuary.

monstrously overworked and definitely verging on a burnout; between school, quidditch, career thoughts, the impending war, volunteer work, and sorting through some deep-seated personal issues.

might be the nicest black sister, but that’s not really a high bar to clear. though she carries a lot of guilt and tries to resolve that by doing good work, keeping her head down and not being explicitly hateful, she’s not exactly kind. she’s a bit of a know-it-all and loves to argue with people, can be really condescending, lashes out when she’s feeling insecure, and can hold a grudge like nobody’s business.

very much enjoys muggle music, after it was shared with her by friends. she named her owl ziggy after ziggy stardust, knowing full well that her parents wouldn’t have the faintest clue what it meant.

plots ,

just wanted to say first of all that i love plotting, hc’ing, brainstorming, etc. so please hit me up ! if nothing here works i’m super happy to think of something else. also, every single one of these is open to all genders unless specified ! i also especially love plotting based on other connections ( i.e. muse a and muse b are friends, muse b and muse c are exes, therefore muse a and muse c do not get along, or smth ) idk i just have a lot of ideas !

friends. this could go a lot of ways ! very importantly, andie doesn’t pick her friends for their politics; they could be death eaters, order members, or neutral. more important is their ability to put up with andie’s nonsense. that being said alliances would definitely play a part in how they interact, etc. ofc.

unofficial engagement. a betrothal is a bit archaic, andie’s made clear in so many words. her parents and this muse’s parents, rather than putting their foot down and making demands, are quite cunning in their attempt to play matchmaker. they invite each other and their family to dinners, ask after them in every letter, and never pass up an opportunity to throw the pair of them together. would definitely be a pureblood, ‘respectable’ and probably but not necessarily a slytherin ! how the two of them feel about it is also very open-ended — enemies, slow-burn, fake dating, friendship, i’m happy with anything !

exes. give me a bunch of these ! there’s so many options for this. their first little ‘relationship’ that maybe lasted only a few months, going on their first lil hogmeade dates together ? first loves making plans to visit each other over summers ? some hookup that one of them thought was much more serious than the other ? something a lil star-crossed & pushed apart by families ? an ex andie unceremoniously dumped last year to focus on her studies ? exes who are good friends, exes who hate each other, exes who are so embarrassed to have dated each other they pretend nothing ever happened, just. any of them. pls.

crushes / flirtationships. all the crushes ! an youthful crush that she swears she’s gotten over but she still gets flustered whenever they talk to her; someone who’s interested in her, but whom she has less than zero interest in ( or, alternatively, is pretending to have no interest in ); mutual crushes but they’re both convinced the other person hates them or is out of their league; mutual crushes but they’re also constantly bickering and everyone thinks they’ve already been married forty years; bad crushes that she feels bad about for whatever reason ( they are death eaters, or seeing someone else, or a rival in some way, idk ), etc. etc.

childhood friends. lots of options here too; high society pureblood kids her parents approved of, but also any halfbloods in and around london who are into quidditch, and would play with andie ?

study buddy. andie’s a big nerd. give her some friends to study with ? someone who won’t give her a weird look when she threatens to hex chatty first years in the library. they can ask each other questions and help with charms practice and share their hopes, dreams, and aspirations ! definitely made a pact last year to get x amount of o.w.l.s. should be in sixth year, but doesn’t necessarily need to be an overachieving nerd like andie.

potions partner. fairly self-explanatory; they’re adjacent to a study buddy but work together pretty much exclusively in potions class. this would ideally be one of two types: either they’re also very, very good at potions and they’ve partnered together to make sure they both get top marks each class, or alternatively, this is someone who struggles with potions and who was partnered with andie, either against her will ( thanks slughorn ) or out of the ( unlikely ) kindness of her heart, and she helps them get up to speed.

academic rival. the opposite of a study buddy. study enemy ? should also be a sixth year so that they share classes with andromeda. they’re both overachieving students and will stare daggers at each other in class whenever the other person raises their hand. andie feels very threatened and definitely lets her insecurity get the best of her in this dynamic.

quidditch rival. is there anything better than a sports rivalry ? no ! this could be anywhere from a friendly bantering rivalry to a full on, hate-your-guts, will hex you on the pitch if i can rivalry ? could be simply because of their teams, because they have issues off the field, or because they accidentally ran head-on into each other in their first match and now can’t let it go ? just think this could be fun !

frienemies. okay, hear me out. gimme a buddy for andie where their entire friendship essentially revolves around gently verbally abusing each other — or at least, that’s andie’s side because she’s a great big bully ! but if they’re ever in trouble or getting shit from anyone she will drop anything and go fight. someone she probably really adores but will only begrudgingly admit to. mostly she calls ‘em names.

petty enemies. so, i know it’s stupid to hold onto old grudges when there’s a literal war on the horizon, but andie ? andie does not. she’s really pettier than that. would love for this to be someone who she just really butted heads with in her earlier hogwarts years and they’ve both just never gotten over it. they’re very petty and don’t even really remember why they don’t like each other but are they gonna get over it now ? heck no.

true enemies. not petty, not somewhat friendly, not a rivalry but a true and burning hatred. just. give it to meeeeeee. this could be a muse with strong political opinions who really hates where andie stands & isn’t afraid to say so, but could also just be more personal; maybe andie did something ? i’m very okay with her being the bad guy here too.

confidant. andie has a lot going on that she doesn’t/can’t really talk to other people about; maybe this muse is just a very good listener, or maybe they have their own deep dark secrets ? either way, they can tell each other things very few others are privy to.

patients. might be a bit of a stretch of the definition since right now andie’s not a medical professional any more than a candy striper might be, but has your muse been injured at any point in the past year/year and a half or so ? it’s possible that you might be entitled to some compensation for them having to put up with andie being annoying as hell during their hospital wing stay.

#ehqintro #⧽ always half - hidden ∖ development .#i hope this is ok ! i triple checked family intros but if there's anything that conflicts or anything pls let me know and i'll fix it !#will i ever write an intro under 2k words ? probably not lmao

8 notes · View notes

we-are-colleagues · 5 years ago

Text

Villanelle - Character Analysis: Power & Growth:

Villanelle doesn’t kill without reason.

This season has put a spotlight on her motivations, that can be traced back to S1. Villanelle kills for power and for Control. She’s not some Ted Bundy who kills to get her rocks off. It’s the power that she craves (and she gets off on). The changes we are seeing in Villanelle in the recent episodes are a product of this core drive and motivation being challenged.

In S3, we hear Villanelle vocalise this connection. A lot. She names the scent she confronts Eve in "Power". She purses her family because she believes the knowledge – the truth – will make her more powerful. She agrees to work for the Twelve again because she is promised power.

The key to changes we are seeing unfold in Villanelle is due to them unpicking the driving force behind her actions. In her mind killing and violence has always granted her power and control. It’s a link her upbringing cemented in her and that The Twelve have fostered ever since.

The Evolution of Her Kills

The first kill we ever see on screen is bone-chilling (The Hairpin). She absolutely delights in the kill. It’s like she drains the life force out of him as he falls to his knees before her. She feels powerful watching him die.

But even in S2, her glee is diminished. I think immediately of the pig kill. Konstantin is distracting her in Amsterdam with this job. She’s killing for a scorned wife, hardly the world-changing targets she’s used to. She’s bored the whole episode and missing Eve. She has to dress the kill up to intrigue herself and to get Eve’s attention. To Konstantin, afterwards, she remarks, ‘It didn’t feel like anything’. That thrill from S1 is absent. She didn’t feel powerful killing this man and the experience pales incomparison to what Eve makes her feel.

In general, as of S2 there is no more looking into people’s eyes as she kills them. The last time she really felt the power she chases was when she killed Aaron Peel and it turned out Carolyn was using her. Then, of course, when she watched Eve kill Raymond, where she was the one controlling Eve and seemingly, getting everything she wanted.

The kills in S3 ramp up this contrast to S1. Her spice kill lacks her usual flamboyance, she’s more interested in posing the body and challenging Dasha than the kill. She wants to prove she’s better, more powerful. Her garden kill is almost merciful. She takes more joy in playing with the woman than killing her.

Villanelle is motivated this season not so much by the power she feels from each kill, but the power promised to her by Dasha and The Twelve if she makes it to the rank of Keeper.

Her Relationship With Eve

This hardwired understanding is challenged when she attempting to kill Eve and their connection. Let’s dive into why she shot Eve, framed through this understanding of why Villanelle kills.

Villanelle’s perception of love is also skewered around control. Villanelle tries to narrow Eve’s world and her options to just running away with her to Alaska. When Eve realises she’s been manipulated, Eve acknowledges how they are alike by chooses to walk away anyway.

Villanelle has just borne her soul to Eve, made herself vulnerable by telling Eve that she loves her and she’s shut down. Completely. As soon as that happens Villanelle feels like she’s lost control of this situation, of Eve, of herself and she shots. It purely an attempt to regain some control and power, as killing and violence have always been for her.

Villanelle believes Eve is dead and six months later she is talking about her on her wedding day. When she finds out Eve is alive, she can’t pretend that she was in control of their connection or had gotten over Eve. That is why she makes such a show of her power to Eve as if to say “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t die, I’m more powerful than ever now”. She dresses in a men’s suit, wears the perfume Power and invades Eve’s life on her commute to work. Even physically she takes control of Eve. But it doesn’t mean anything in the end. Eve has just as much if not more power than Villanelle in that scene. She has the power to give Villanelle what she really wants.

(Look I was gonna put a quote here from Sandra Oh about Villanelle being physically stronger than Eve in the bus scene but she still never hurting her. And that it demonstrates how Eve’s power over Villanelle’s psyche continues to grow. I can’t find it anywhere so like let me know if you know what I’m talking about. I swear it exists.)

UPDATE (edit): I found it.

"Villanelle at all times can physically overpower Eve, but what grows is Eve's influence on Villanelle's psyche. Which is like [Villanelle] won't, even though she can" X

Villanelle entire relationship with Eve is a push and pull of power where Eve maintains her power without violence (aside from the stabbing in S1). In the bus scene, it is won through an act of affection, or omission that she feels similarly about Villanelle.

Her Mother

What trying to kill Eve started, killing her mother finished.

Villanelle thinks killing her mother will give her control, give her power over herself. Literally serve as a way to kill her demons. However, I think Jodie put it best in this interview:

“You can see the regret that she is already feeling but feels she has to go through with it — because I think she feels it’s the only way she feels she can fully kill her past and the woman that she was,” Comer says. “But actually in some ways, it’s like she kills Villanelle; it’s Oksana who is her true self and who she can’t get away from. So I think actually by doing what she has done, it has the complete opposite effect of what she was hoping for. For me now, at this point, I think Villanelle is her own worst enemy, and she’s coming to the realization that that may have been the case all along.” x

If we compare her killing Tatiana to say her first kill. The choice to not show her killing her mother cannot be ignored. It’s like even Villanelle doesn’t want to look at it:

“Villanelle has always looked into the eyes of those she’s killed, and in one draft the kill was actually [depicted], and I was like, ‘Maybe she can’t look at her; maybe she has to cover her mother’s face. This isn’t as easy as she thinks,'” Comer tells Variety. “I think Villanelle’s having a real identity crisis after the events of Episode 5.”

Villanelle doesn’t expect it to but killing her mother wounds her. Robs her of some of her power and makes her lose control.

S3 pulled off what could have been a disastrous dive into Villanelle’s past. You are encouraged to understand Villanelle was always like this. Probably would have always been. But we are also meant to see her mother’s influence, especially on her understanding of power and control and why she would be so fixation on obtaining it after being under her mother thumb.

We see Tatiana’s influence affecting her brothers lives as well. Pyotr stays there simply because he is told to. He has his own anger issues which he takes out on a couch. Pyotr attempts to control that side of himself, while Villanelle has always lent into it. She even suggests he just take it out on people instead, it will make him feel better. She doesn’t understand the need or benefit in controlling her own darkness.

In many of the scenes where Villanelle speaks to others about her mother, she mentions her mother’s covert and overt attempts to control all of them. Villanelle hopes that killing her mother might finally free her, give her back control. But in a echo of her advice to Pyotr taking it out on her mother doesn’t make her feel any better.

Dasha

My assessment of Dasha’s role in this season has change from 3x01. She was quite impressive in the first ep. She looked dangerous, which she is, but having spent more time with her and seen how Villanelle easily copied her signature kill, how she messed up killing Niko and how she lost at bowling to Eve. It’s clear she’s a washed up has-been assassin. I think in a way she is meant to make Villanelle consider the future available to her in this kind of life.

Dasha is one of the few assassins that makes it to old age. Villanelle is too confident to consider she would die doing this job. That said, I don’t think she’s given much thought to her future, especially not one without Eve.

Dasha is our glimpse at it. A woman, who when she should be retired, rich, and happy is still playing this game. She can’t even return home. Whatever power Dasha wield doesn’t grant her what she wants. Her legacy and her status have earnt her little. She is still taking orders from the same people. This must surely motivate Villanelle’s ascent through the ranks of The Twelve. Villanelle is after power and Dasha is dwarfed by the likes of Hélène

Keeper, but not a keeper

This brings us to 3x06. Villanelle is finally made a Keeper, the job description isn’t as lavish as she hoped. They offer her more money, more material possession but send her on the same old missions. Where is the power she was promised? It is here where she finally gets a whiff of how much The Twelve are truly controlling her.

I think this is why the Hairdresser kill goes so poorly. To kill this man is almost a forfeit of her power, to knowingly do it when she is being control. She knows she’s been fooled. It must be driving her crazy. Cause this is bullshit. For the first time she feels like a pawn working for The Twelve rather than powerful.

She’s just killed her mother. She’s head deep in her childhood trauma, that is all centred around being used and controlled. This insult from The Twelve hits different. Killing no longer offers what she always sought from it. The strings are pulling loose on what makes Villanelle, Villanelle. Talk about an identity crisis.

It’s all quite raw, she’s changing before our eyes, I doubt we will see this weepy emotional Villanelle forever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this unlinking of power and control with killing suddenly make Villanelle a saint. Not a single part of her felt bad for the man she killed, she just didn’t want to do it.

It might lead Villanelle to ask whether she has ever been in control of her own darkness. We talk so much about Eve letting go, perhaps, on the other side of that Villanelle needs to take control and realise she is her own worst enemy sometimes.

In the same episode, Villanelle falls apart we see Eve wield her own power and darkness without violence, even though we know she’s capable of it. We are watching Eve reach an equilibrium with her darkness while Villanelle is seesawing.

In summary, this season has reinforced and emphasised why Villanelle does what she does – for power and control - and then gone on to challenge her understanding of it completely. It’s given Villanelle room to grow and change.

I think it’s so interesting, if you can’t tell from reading this whole thing. I always thought the show would be too scared to change Villanelle so drastically, though some change is definitely necessary, especially for her and Eve to have anything stable. I thought the show relied too heavily on Villanelle pulling of a hit every episode to tamper with her drive to kill. But it’s delicious and opens up a world of possibility. This doesn’t mean we’ll get soft Villanelle anytime soon but maybe a more calculated Villanelle, whose interests better align with Eve’s.

#killing eve #ke character analysis #at least thats my take #killing eve spoilers #ke spoilers #im as shook as you an analysis on this blog? who knew

189 notes · View notes

obxparadise · 4 years ago

Text

Rebel Love Song

JJ Maybank x Female Reader

Word count: 3,836

~JJ’s had enough of his abusive father and life on the Cut, so he tries to convince you to run away with him~

Song: Rebel Love Song by Black Veil Brides

A/N: Leave a comment please :)

*GIF is not mine, but found on Google. Creds to the owner!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I cannot hide what’s on my mind

I feel it burning deep inside

A passion crime to take what’s mine

Let us start living for today

“You are a worthless piece of shit.”

“Shut up!”

“Your mama knew!”

“Shut up!”

JJ’s fist strikes his bedroom door, although he wishes it were his father’s face. It probably wouldn’t be as painful, and he’d feel good about it. But his dad would retaliate like he always did, and JJ’s face couldn’t handle another black eye or split lip. Luke had already done a number on his face twenty minutes prior.

Luke turns up the volume of whatever rock song is playing throughout the house, and JJ clutches the sides of his head, digging his palms into his temples, the thoughts in his head drowning out the song. What the hell was he listening to anyway? Judas Priest? Black Sabbath? He had no fucking clue.

He should be used to it all by now. The loud music. The constant drinking. The verbal violence. The physical abuse. The mental manipulation. It’s been going on for years. And there’s no way to stop it.

The cut on JJ’s lip burns as a salty tear mixes with the dried blood. He drags his fingers across the bottom of his lip, wincing. Thirty grand in restitution for a boat he didn’t even sink. He should’ve seen the punch coming, anticipated it as soon as he slid in the passenger’s seat of the beat up pick up truck. But it happened so fast, over and over, until Luke’s knuckles were painted red with blood.

He doesn’t regret taking the blame, though. Even if he now has to scramble to come up with thirty thousand dollars, JJ’s glad that he did the right thing for once in his life. Pope was a good kid, had too much to lose. But JJ? He had nothing.

The music dies down in the living room and JJ peers toward the door, heart hammering against his chest as he waits for Luke to bust into his room. His fists are balled by his sides, ready to attack if necessary, but the door never opens.

JJ takes it upon himself to crack open the door, just enough for him to peer out into the living room and see Luke passed out on the sofa. Empty beer bottles are scattered along the coffee table and a pill bottle is just barely sitting in Luke’s hand that dangles off the couch. Just another typical Tuesday in the Maybank household.

It’s times like these JJ wishes he wasn’t an only child. Although he’s glad no one else is subjected to Luke’s abuse, the house gets lonely. Talking to his father is impossible. His mother is nowhere to be found, and he resents her for leaving him to live with a monster, to fend for his life.

He could always talk to his friends, though.

Ah, scratch that. They’re all busy tending to their own lives.

Pope’s in and out of scholarship interviews.

Kiara’s working overtime at the Wreck.

John B is glued to Sarah Cameron’s hip.

But there’s one more person left. One person that would always make time for him. One person he could confide in no matter the circumstances.

JJ retrieves his phone from the back pocket of his shorts, typing out a quick message.

Can you meet me at the dock?

He smiles as your name pops up on the screen, promising to meet him in ten minutes.

You watch from afar as JJ stands at the edge of the dock throwing rocks into the bay. The sun has begun to set, the sky now painted a light orange and pink, and there’s a slight chill in the air thanks to the open water. Tugging the sleeves of your hoodie down to cover your hands, you shuffle quietly along the wooden boards.

JJ’s body instantly relaxes when your arms circle his middle, forehead resting against his back. The cologne on his body mixed with his natural scent is what keeps you still against him until he turns around to hold you. He needs this hug. You can just tell.

“I owe thirty grand for sinking Topper’s boat.” His voice is defeated, arms limp around your body.

Wherever trouble was, JJ found it. He was always getting into scuffles with the teenagers on the other side of the island, parents turned their noses down at him, and the cops had no problem blaming JJ for crimes he didn’t commit. The boy was an easy target.

You shake your head, refusing to believe his story, but asking the question anyway. “Why’d you do it?”

JJ pulls away, stuffing his hands in his pockets, eyes downcast on the dock. He doesn’t want to tell you the truth, but you have a guess as to who he’s protecting. “Just sick of everyone treating us differently because we live on the poor side of the island. Money isn’t everything, but it’s all these people on Figure Eight know.”

He’s not wrong. The rich kids on Figure Eight can’t separate fantasy from reality. They’ve never known struggle. They’ve always had designer clothes, food on the table, a roof over their heads, plus the perks. Motorcycles. Boats. Cars. Status. Friends. Opportunities. So much more than the average person could afford, or wish for.

And you were one of them.

It’s a wonder how you and JJ became friends. You knew of his hatred for rich kids before you’d even met him. But JJ saw something in you. You weren’t like the rest of them. You had a pure heart, kind soul. Being rich wasn’t a personality trait for you.

“I just,” Dragging a hand through his hair, JJ gazes at you sadly. His frown tugs at your heart. “I just want to get away, you know? I can’t hide it, but I’ve had thoughts about leaving the Cut, the OBX in general.”

Now that’s something you never would of thought would come out of JJ’s mouth. He lived and breathed the Outerbanks. He didn’t know anything else.

“Where would you go?”

He takes a seat on the end of the dock, feet dangling just above the water. You join him, sitting close, head on his shoulder, toes skimming the cool water. “Paris. England. The Yucatan,” JJ chuckles, nudging you. “That’s long term.”

“What about now?”

JJ exhales, thinking hard. “Maybe Florida. Or Texas. California, possibly. I want to go somewhere warm, like OBX, with a beach and some palm trees,” JJ looks down at the top of your head, resting his cheek on your hair. Your presence calms him. “And I’d take you with me.”

He knocks the breath out of you. You were never one to plan for the future, but the future is all JJ can think about it. And he sees you in his future, wherever he decides to be. How could you possibly tell him that the life that was destined for you would always be in the Outerbanks, breaking his heart in the process?

“Don’t you want to start living? The way we want to?” JJ asks softly, fingertips grazing your leg. Goosebumps rise on your skin at his intimate touch.

“I already am,” you say, considering his words. “My life is here, JJ. I can’t leave it behind.”

“No, it’s not,” JJ retorts instantaneously, voice unwavering. “This life you’re living? It’s not yours. It’s your parents’.”

Bringing your knees to your chin, you reposition yourself to look at JJ, whose staring out at the bay, blue eyes scanning the water, tuffs of blonde hair dancing in the breeze. It’s the first time that night you really took notice of his face. Dried blood dots the corner of his mouth, and a purple bruise rings around his eye. There’s a tick in his jaw and his fingers drum quickly on his leg. He’s tense. “How so?”

He’s never been anything other than blunt. He hides nothing, letting you know how he thinks, what he feels. “Because you don’t stand up to them. They drag you to yacht parties on the weekend because you’ve never told them who your real friends are. They think Susie Milligan and Delia Pratton are your best friends, except they have no idea that you can’t stand them and would rather be surfing with Kie and John B. They make you stay in and study your dad’s old college textbooks, convinced you’re going to be the world’s greatest attorney, but you complain to Pope that the material is dry and you’ll never be happy working as a prosecutor.” Pulling a cigarette from his pocket and then lighting it, JJ takes a drag, puffing out the smoke before turning to face you. “You let them dictate what should be your life. What is it that youwant to do? You never talk about the future, but one day it’ll be here, and it’s sooner than you think.”

His eyes are focused as he waits for you to consider his question. The truth is, you know what you want, but you’ve never said it aloud. No one ever cared to ask, except for now. Except for JJ.

“I want to be a marine biologist,” you’re confident in your answer, and it leads you to spill more. A weight lifts off your shoulders. “I want to go to school in Hawaii or Australia and learn about animals, nature, sea life. I want to surf, fish, and wear flowers in my hair, embrace my free spirit.”

JJ’s smile encourages you. Opening up to him is so easy because he understands. He listens. And he wants the same freedom as you do. The only difference is, JJ will chase after his dreams.

“I want to learn how to play guitar, climb a mountain, run a marathon, learn Chinese, ride in a hot air balloon,” you take a second to catch your breath, feel the chill of the breeze on your legs. “I want to find love. Maybe get married, have a kid or two. Adopt five kittens. Build my own home with a pool that has a waterfall. I want to try escargot, visit a rainforest, and see the Northern Lights. I want so many things, JJ.”

“Then let’s do it,” JJ says, standing and pulling you to your feet. A smile lights up his face as he grabs your hands in his. It’s the happiest you’ve seen him in the last hour, but it contrasts with what you feel inside. “Let’s start living.”

Never gonna change my mind

We can leave it all behind

Nothin’s gonna stop us

No not this time

“Hawaii, huh?”

You look up from your soup. Kiara leans against the bar top, watching you curiously. JJ has gone off to the bathroom, the perfect opportunity for Kiara to grill you with questions.

“He seems pretty adamant,” she remarks, flipping hair over her shoulder. “What’d you say?”

The spoon clinks against the metal bowl as you set it down, dabbing your lips with a napkin. “I didn’t answer.”

“Don’t you think you should?” Kiara asks, playing with the beads on her bracelet. “From what JJ said, he seems pretty sure that wherever he goes, you’re following.”

“Oh, he’s set on us moving to the west coast, but I can’t just leave the OBX,” you counter, shoulders slumping. “My life is here.”

“Then why did you tell him all the things you wanted to do if you don’t ever plan on doing them with him?”

The million-dollar question.

“Because I knew he’d listen,” you say quietly. “I didn’t think he was serious about us leaving together, though. We’re sixteen, Kie. What sixteen year olds do you know drop everything and leave their home behind? And besides,” your laugh comes out strangled, “My parents would never let me leave. You know how they are. They don’t even like that I’m friends with JJ. They think he’s trouble, a bad influence. How do you think they’d react if I just up and left with him?”

Kiara leans in close, whispering, “That’s why you don’t tell them.”

You roll your eyes as Kie laughs. “I’m not going to change my mind on this, Kiara.”

Her face turns serious as she chews on the corner of her lip. The gears turn in her head as she contemplates. “Would it matter if I said JJ’s in love with you?”

Your eyes roam her face, waiting for a laugh, a smile, a teasing wink, but her composure is kept intact as she stares at you. Your face falters. “He—what?”

She nods. “What boy asks a girl to travel the world with him if he’s not in love with her?”

Color creeps up your neck, mouth dry, heart beating irregularly. Your body is jelly, almost sliding off the bar stool, but you slink back further into the chair, hands gripping the arm rests. “Are you sure?”

“If I was a gambler, I’d bet it all. That’s how sure I am.”

“I—no,” you dig in your purse for some cash, slapping the bills down in haste. “I’m either going to disappoint JJ or my parents, and I can’t disappoint my family. So, no, JJ being in love with me doesn’t change anything,” you say, exhaling a breath. “I’m not going with him.”

“Well, that’s good to know.”

Kiara’s eyes expand, and you freeze. JJ’s boots pad against the floor as he pushes through the front door, angrily stomping into the night. You thank Kiara for the dinner before rushing outside to chase a visibly irritated JJ.

“JJ, wait!” Your hand clamps down on his shoulder, spinning him around. The look on his face is disheartening. You try to cradle his cheeks, something you normally did to comfort him, but he pushes your hands away. “Please, stop.”

“You were never planning to come with me, were you?” JJ questions, twirling a few of the rings on his fingers. “You were just…what? Entertaining me?”

“JJ, my life is here, in the OBX!” The words that use to flow perfectly off your tongue don’t even sound right anymore. Part of you doesn’t believe them. “I can’t just leave it all behind. And my parents…God, JJ, they’d never let me go with you. I mean, we’re so young.”

JJ nods, although he doesn’t understand. He knows you. He knows your heart. He knows where you really stand. But he can’t persuade you anymore than he’s tried. “I’m taking my dad’s boat and I am leaving tomorrow. I’m getting out of here because I know what I want and nothing is going to stop me.”

JJ turns, and your heart squeezes as you watch him leave. Your fingers twitch, begging to reach out to him. This can’t be it. He can’t be leaving you. “Is it true?”

He stops in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder. “Is what true?”

You choke back a soft cry, voice croaking. “Are you in love with me?”

JJ faces you, staring absentmindedly. He wants nothing more than to hold you in his arms, kiss your breath away. But he keeps his distance, shoving his hands back into his pockets, whispering, “It doesn’t matter, because it wouldn’t be enough, anyway.”

Back home, you’re surprised to see your parents still awake, chatting softly at the island in the kitchen. You hastily wipe away any leftover tears before they can hound you with questions.

“You’re home late,” says your father, giving you a look. He’s the stricter parent of the two. “I assume you have a good reason?”

You keep the conversation short. “I got caught up talking to JJ. I lost track of time.”

Your mother wrinkles her nose, wine sloshing in her glass as she takes a sip. “How many times have we told you to stay away from that boy, Y/N? He’s trouble.”

“He’s not trouble,” you fire back, wishing you had come up with a lie instead of telling them the truth. “You’re just judgmental.”

“That’s enough,” your father snaps. He runs a hand over his tired face. Being an attorney has aged him ten years. And to think he wanted to send you down the same dreadful path. “I’m having lunch tomorrow with DA Lance Nicholas. I figured you could come along, ask him some questions--.”

“No.”

Your mother stares at you quizzically. “No?”

“Is tomorrow a bad time?” asks your father, loosening his tie. “I’m supposed to meet with him next week as well, if that’s better for you.”

You feel the rage building up inside of you as you remember JJ’s words. You let them dictate what should be your life. What is it that you want to do? “No, dad, there will never be a time that’s good for me to meet the DA, because I don’t want to meet him. I don’t want to be a lawyer.”

You’re sure they’ll yell, give you a hard time, but the laughs that come out of their mouths are surprising. You don’t understand why they’re laughing, but you’re determine to stand your ground, speak up.

“You’ve never once asked me what I wanted to do with my life.”

“Well, yes, because—.”

“Because you planned it for me.”

Your mom glances at your dad, unsure of how to continue the conversation. “Sweetie--.”

“I’m not going to law school,” The light dims in your father’s eyes, face growing red as your tone grows serious. He’s silent, but it doesn’t scare you. “Because I want to be a marine biologist.”

“Honey, listen,--.”

“I want to travel, see what the world has to offer me. I’m tired of being your puppet. I’m tired of pretending to like Susie and Delia. I’m tired of going to stupid yacht parties with out of touch rich people. I’m tired of reading college textbooks about a career I don’t even want while I’m still in high school. This is my life, and you don’t get to choose how I live it.”

Your mom speaks up after what feels like an hour of silence. Her eyes are full of sorrow, voice low, disapproving. “What happened to you? You’re so…outspoken.”

“It’s that damn Maybank kid,” your dad’s forceful voice cuts right through you. He slams his fist on the counter, startling your mom. You stand your ground, unflinching. “I always knew he’d corrupt you sooner or later.”

“Corrupt me?” A laugh escapes you. He can’t be serious. “He helped me, dad. He taught me to stand up for myself, which is what I’m doing right now. He taught me that there’s a life outside of our world in Figure Eight. JJ helped me realize that I don’t belong here,” your mother’s face drops. Guilt briefly flickers across your face. “I belong with him, wherever he goes. Whether it be California or Texas or Hawaii. I belong with him.”

“You are sixteen years old,” your father reminds, looking at you in disgust. “You have no clue what you’re talking about or what you are doing. Go on, get out of my sight.”

You shake your head, turning your back on your parents. It didn’t matter what they said. They wouldn’t be able to stop you from chasing your dreams, from living your life the way you wanted to. They could say you were too young, too naïve, until they were blue in the face. But you know what you want, and no one, especially not your parents, would stop you.

So take your hand in mine

It’s ours tonight

This is our rebel love song

Staring down at the note in your hand, you exhale a sigh before dropping it on the kitchen counter. You sign it with a kiss, letting your family know you love them, before venturing outside, quietly closing the door behind you.

The last night in your house was spent packing, constantly checking that your bedroom door was locked to keep the helicopter parents away. There wasn’t much you could fit into the duffel bag, but you squeezed as much as you could, the contents varying from clothing to toiletries to small mementos you didn’t want to leave behind.

The plan was to surprise JJ at the dock. Tugging your duffel higher onto your shoulder, you walk with a content smile.

When you reach the dock, your heart rises to your throat. JJ stands with his back to you, one foot on the dock, the other in the boat. He’s ready to take off, and your legs break out into a sprint, daring him to leave you behind. “JJ!”

The voice makes his ears perk up. He turns, wide-eyed, smile brighter than the gleaming Carolina sun. JJ’s heart swells as he watches the girl he loves run after him, one hand waving frantically in the air, the other tugging the bag higher on her arm.

“JJ, wait!”

But he’s not going anywhere. He’d never go anywhere without you.

You drop the bag onto the dock, launching yourself into JJ’s body. He wobbles slightly, arms coming around your middle, pulling you as far into his chest as you’ll go. You fit perfectly.

“You came,” JJ breathes into your hair, kissing your forehead. The soft pecks are quick, friendly.

It’s not enough for you, though.

You grab his cheeks, pressing your mouth to his, hard. Your heart reacts, beating wildly. The feeling in your body, the sensation you get from kissing JJ, it feels like sunshine. Warm. Blissful. Happy.

There’s no hesitation as JJ kisses you back. His hand creeps up your spine, pressing you impossibly closer to him, almost as if he’s testing to see if you’re real.

It’s all real. You, the kiss, the moment.

He pulls away, slightly breathless. His eyes flicker to the dandelion lying on his drawstring bag, and a smile tugs at his parted lips. He’d picked it for you on his way to the dock, just in case.

“It’s true,” JJ says, reaching down to tenderly pick the flower. Doe-eyed, you watch as he tucks the dandelion behind your ear, shielding the stem with a few strands of your hair. “I am so deeply in love with you.”

“And you were going to leave without ever letting me know.”

“A part of me hoped you wouldn’t let me leave without you,” JJ answers, helping you settle into the boat.

“You’re right,” you smile. “I couldn’t let you leave without knowing I’m in love with you, too.”

The kiss that follows is better than the first. It’s softer, more intimate, and it feels like a rainbow.

It completes him.

It completes you.

After grabbing your bag from the dock, you help JJ untie the boat before joining him at the wheel. The boat rumbles to life, sailing slowly across the open bay. A new life is just in the distance.

“You ready?” JJ asks. There’s nothing in his eyes other than hope, nothing in his grin other than happiness.

Taking his hand, you smile. “I am now.”

88 notes · View notes

introvertguide · 4 years ago

Text

City Lights (1931); AFI #11

The following review is for my very favorite Charlie Chaplin film, City Lights (1931), yet I always feel like I am not the right audience to make a review. I cannot talk about the rave reviews because at the time because it did well but was not nominated for any awards. It was Chaplin’s last silent film and the world was generally enamored by “talkies” at this point. It is most definitely a favorite amongst critics and film polls today. Many of the greatest directors like Orson Welles and Stanley Kubrik have called it a masterpiece. But the story is 75% slapstick set pieces and a thin love story, so it is not a movie that I should like as much as I do. But I do. Let me go over the plot and then I can better explain myself:

SPOILER ALERT FOR A NINETY-YEAR-OLD MOVIE!!! i DON’T KNOW WHY I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR A FILM THAT CAN BE SEEN FOR FREE ON YOUTUBE, BUT PEOPLE LIKE TO COMPLAIN!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The film starts with a little set piece in which a new statue is revealed in the city and the tramp is sleeping on it. He tries to blend in to the white marble statue but it obviously doesn’t work. He catches his trousers getting off the statue and eventually leaves. That is it for the scene.

This tramp then encounters a blind flower girl while she is selling flowers. A bunch of coincidental sounds make her think he is rich, since she can’t see his tramp attire, and he buys a flower for his lapel with what little money he has. Remember this girl, she is the best part of the film.

The tramp keeps a drunken millionaire from committing suicide when he tries to jump off a bridge and this is turned into a series of pratfalls in which the two keep falling in the river and helping each other out. They go back to the rich man’s house and he gets the tramp drunk. They go out to for a night on the town and drunkenly cause problems in a set piece at a dance hall.

In the morning, the millionaire does not remember the tramp and has him thrown out. The tramp takes the opportunity to quickly borrow the rich man’s car and buys all of the blind flower girl’s flowers and gives her a ride home. He returns the car and the rich man angrily takes it to go out and get drunk. Later that night, the drunk rich man invites the tramp to a lavish party but again throws him out in the morning. This becomes a Jekyll and Hyde situation with alcohol that repeats throughout the film.

The tramp goes to see the flower girl and she is not there. He goes to the house where he dropped her off and overhears that the girl is sick. He decides to get a job (a street sweeper) that has one of the few legitimately funny moments. The tramp is cleaning up horse poop (which is gross) and starts walking and sees a whole herd of donkeys being led threw town. He wants no part of that so he turns to go the other way and an elephant walks by. Not a bad joke.

On his lunch break, the tramp brings the girl flowers and groceries while the grandma of the girl is out selling flowers so there is nobody to identify the tramp visually. This is important. One day it turns out that the girl has not paid rent and she will be evicted if she can’t come up with $22. I think I have more than that in my change jug, but that was a lot of money back then since the average yearly wage was about $1200. This was during the Depression and a couple hundred a year was good for a flower girl. Anyway, the tramp promises to pay off the debt the next day.

The tramp goes to work and is fired for being late again. He takes an opportunity to enter a boxing match in which he will fake the fight and split the $50 prize with the other contestant. Unfortunately, the man has to leave suddenly and another man is chosen who is actually a very good boxer and doesn’t want to split anything. The two dance around in another set piece (which is actually well choreographed) and the tramp loses.

The tramp wanders that evening wondering what he will do when he runs into the drunken millionaire. The two go back to the mansion and he gives the tramp $1000 to help out. It turns out that some burglars broke in try to steal the money but are chased off by the tramp yelling for the police. The rich man is struck on the head in the ruckus and this sobers him up enough to not remember the money exchange and he wants the tramp gone. The police show up and the tramp has a bunch of cash so he is accused of being the burglar. The tramp manages to escape with the money, but the police are looking for him.

In the morning, the tramp gives the girl the money so she can pay the rent and get an operation for her eyes. He knows he can’t hide so he says goodbye and leaves. Honestly, if this film was made today, he would have been killed in a hail of gunfire. Luckily, this was Charlie Chaplin so the tramp was caught by police in a slapstick set piece.

He is incarcerated for a couple of months and gets out to find things are a little different. The girl can see and had enough money left to buy her own flower shop. She sees the tramp outside staring at her and she proclaims “I’ve made a conquest!” She offers him a lapel flower and a coin out of kindness and grabs his had had to give it to him. She suddenly realizes from the feel of his arm and hand that this was the man who had helped her. The tramp is uncertain that she will like him and says “You can see now?” and she replies “Yes, I can see now.” The tramp’s face breaks into a smile and the film fades out. The end.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have to say that I really don’t like anything that has to do with millionaire. I have seen this film about a dozen times and I always begin to wonder why I like it during the dinner scenes with the drunken millionaire and tramp. But then I see the tramp being kind to the blind flower girl. I laugh at the elephant and then feel impressed with the boxing much. A true twist with the jail time and then that moment of pure joy when the flower girl can finally see the man who changed her life and he smiles at her. This might be my favorite ending so far of the movies we have watched on the AFI list.

The actress who played the blind girl was Virginia Cherrill and she was very convincing in her role. This had something to do with her not being legally blind but having poor eyesight to the point of barely functioning without corrective lenses. She could barely see anything and it really shows. There were times in which she put out her arm for guidance and she meant it. She could not climb stairs or walk along a sidewalk very well without some help.

I really had a hard to getting into this film when I was younger and didn’t make it all the way through until I was in my 20s. I am not a fan of slapstick and the start of this has so many set pieces. That 4 minute statue scene really doesn’t do this movie justice. My mom is one of the group that is watching these movies along with me (as supportive parents do) and she said that the ending is worth it. It is well worth dealing with a lot of drunken slapstick to see that smile at the end.

So should this movie be on the AFI list? Absolutely. And not for the Chaplin comedy that he is known for because it almost seems like he was phoning that part in. The comedy was far less creative (with the exception of the boxing) than his other films on this list, but that simple plot line with the blind flower girl is one of the mostly involving and satisfying that I know. Bravo movie and bravo Charlie Chaplin. Would I recommend it? Yes, just be patient with the film if you are not a fan of slapstick. A couple of the scenes between the introduction of the drunken millionaire and the house party are cringy and don’t hold up (for me at least) but the end is well worth it. Looking back at the beginning of this review, maybe I am perfect for this critique because even somebody like me who hates slapstick can love this film.

#charlie chaplin #city lights #film critique #movie critic #comedy #silent film #black and white #30stm #depression era #little tramp #romance #AFI list #introvert #introverts #film review

21 notes · View notes

musicalexplanations · 4 years ago

Text

Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812

A song-by-song explanation of The Great Comet!

Broadway Recordings Spotify Link

Lyrics

Cast members are listed as those in the Broadway recordings!

Prologue: this song is almost exactly as it sounds. A prologue. It sets the stage for the rest of the musical. It’s sung by the whole cast, with introductions to each of the main characters, including Pierre, Natasha, Andrey, Sonya, Marya, Anatole, Hélène, Dolokhov, Bolkonsky, Mary, and Balaga. It goes like this:

Pierre (Josh Groban): Pierre is the sad guy who basically narrates the whole thing. Natasha (Denée Benton): Natasha is the main character. She is engaged to Andrey, who is away, fighting in the war. She goes by Natasha, Natalie, Natalya, etc. Andrey (Nicholas Belton): Andrey is the man Natasha is engaged to. He’s away fighting the war. Sonya (Brittain Ashford): Sonya is Natasha’s cousin and closest friend. Marya (Grace McLean): Marya is Natasha’s strict godmother. Anatole (Lucas Steele): Anatole is a major playa. Hélène (Amber Gray): Hélène is married to Pierre. She is also Anatole’s sister. She’s a slut (as labeled by this song). Dolokhov (Nick Choski): Dolokhov is Anatole’s good friend. Bolkonsky (Nicholas Belton): Bolkonsky is Andrey and Mary’s father. He is old and rude. Mary (Gelsey Bell): Mary is Bolkonsky’s daughter, Andrey’s sister, and Natasha’s future sister-in-law. Balaga (Paul Pinto): He is literally just for fun. He’s just there. He drives a troika for part of the musical.

Pierre: This song is mostly just here to introduce Pierre a little more. The gist of it is that he’s sad and rich and lonely and drunk most of the time. He feels guilty that his friend Andrey is off fighting the war and he’s sitting at home wallowing in his wealth.

Moscow: While Natasha waits for Andrey to return home from the war, her and her cousin Sonya go to stay with Natasha’s godmother Marya in Moscow. This song is basically just Marya welcoming Natasha and Sonya to Moscow. Marya also has a conversation with Natasha about how Bolkonsky doesn’t like that Andrey is engaged to Natasha, but if Natasha can make a good impression on Mary that all will be well.

The Private and Intimate Life of the House: This is a look at what goes on in the Bolkonsky household while others aren’t around. The elder Bolkonsky is kind of a meanie, not gonna lie. It’s obvious that Bolkonsky definitely does not like Natasha right from the start, just like Marya predicted. Mary feels bad about her father’s declining mental state.

Natasha & Bolkonskys: This song is the initial meeting between Natasha and the Bolkonskys. From the very start, both parties do not like each other. Founded in jealousy and outdated prejudices, Natasha and Mary fight. There is some BEAUTIFUL dissonance between Natasha and Mary which is some really fun tone painting in the actual music. Also mentioned: Bolkonsky meeting Natasha in his underwear because he does not feel like she deserves the privilege of seeing him fully clothed.

No One Else: In my opinion, this is THE song of the musical. After Natasha is finished meeting the Bolkonsky family, she longs to see Andrey. It’s a pure and elegant song of love and longing and it’s stunning melody will make you feel just like the lovesick girl that Natasha really is.

The Opera: Natasha and Sonya go to the opera and everyone is shocked at the presence of two pretty girls in Moscow. Here we’re introduced to Dolokhov, Anatole, and Hélène. Natasha is instantly impressed with Anatole and it’s obvious he’s impressed with her.

Natasha & Anatole: This song is about Natasha and Anatole’s first meeting. Anatole invites Natasha to a costume ball that’s happening and there’s obvious attraction. Enough said.

The Duel: This song is a bit confusing, but it’s basically a fight (duel, hence the name of the song) between Pierre and Dolokhov over Pierre’s wife Hélène. Hélène and Pierre are having marital problems (but let’s be real, when are they not?) and Dolokhov gets involved in the wrong moment. In a gunfight, Pierre fires a gunshot at Dolokhov and hits him, although not fatally. People leave the room, and come back in, and eventually it’s Anatole telling Hélène how infatuated he is with Natasha. Hélène tells him (in true slut-Hélène fashion) that he’d better wait until she’s married. He ends the song by proposing he ask her to dinner.

Dust and Ashes: This song is sung by Pierre, a lamentation of how depressing his life is. It ends on a positive note, however, with Pierre committing to making his life better.

Sunday Morning: Natasha longs to see Andrey and Marya takes Natasha to church with her. Natasha, Sonya, and Marya talk bad about Bolkonsky after church is over.

Charming: This song is sung mostly by Hélène and a little bit by Natasha. Here, Hélène convinces Natasha to attend a costume ball at her house that night. (She definitely WASN’T commissioned to ask Natasha to the ball by her brother Anatole ;) )

The Ball: Here is Natasha and Anatole’s first ‘real’ date. It is, namely, at the costume ball held at Hélène and Anatole’s house. Natasha and Anatole kiss, say I love you, blah blah blah UNTIL Natasha mentions her engagement to Andrey. Anatole pushes it aside and they pledge their undying devotion to each other (despite only having had one real conversation).

Letters: This song is performed in almost the same manner as Prologue, with the whole cast on the main part and solos given to the main characters. Natasha struggles, starting and restarting a letter to Andrey over and over throughout the song. Anatole writes a love letter to Natasha and convinces her that he loves her. The song ends with Natasha falling asleep as Sonya arrives and reads Anatole’s letter.

Sonya & Natasha: This song is a conversation between Natasha and the only true voice of reason in her life at the moment, Sonya. Natasha is ecstatic to hear that Sonya read Anatole’s letter, as she feels that she has hid her love for Anatole for far too long. Sonya, being reasonable, says ‘girl, you’ve only known this guy for three days, you can’t possibly be in love with him,’ and Natasha counters with ‘well it FEELS like I’ve known him for a hundred years’. Sonya has to make the decision between saving Natasha from the mistake of marrying Anatole but losing her friend, or keeping her friend but allowing her to make the mistake of marrying Anatole. The song ends with Natasha sending a letter to Mary, breaking off her engagement to Andrey.

Sonya Alone: This song is sung by Sonya (alone), really as a type of platonic love song to Natasha. She is committed to protecting Natasha, even if Natasha will never say her name again.

Preparations: This is an important song. It starts off with a conversation between Pierre and Anatole. Anatole tells Pierre that he and Natasha plan on eloping in Poland. HOWEVER, Pierre calls Anatole a fool, as he is already married. On the day that Sonya plans to save Natasha from this mistake, Anatole and Dolokhov plan to kidnap Natasha before Sonya can get to her. Dolokhov, however, starts to think a little more, and talks about the risks of the plan, including but not limited to: the fact that Anatole is married, the potential of the elopement not being valid, etc, all of which Anatole blatantly IGNORES. The song ends with the arrival of the troika driver, Balaga.

Balaga: This song is really just for fun. A conversation between Anatole, Dolokhov, and Balaga on the way to go get Natasha.

The Abduction: Here is where the aforementioned abduction plan takes place. Well, almost takes place. Anatole and Dolokhov are blocked from entering the house by the heroic Marya.

In My House: Marya is upset. Understandably, I would say. Despite the reason, Natasha is upset that Marya got in between her and Anatole, and sits by the window, waiting for her love to return.

A Call to Pierre: This song is a conversation between Pierre and Marya, where they fill each other in on all the gaps in their collective knowledge. The biggest bombshell that is dropped is that Anatole is already married. Marya suggests that Andrey may be killed after a duel between him and Anatole when Andrey returns home from the war.

Find Anatole: Here, everyone is looking for Anatole, Anatole is looking for Natasha, and Marya tells Natasha that Anatole is married. Hélène wants to have a conversation with Pierre, but he refuses, knowing that she was, at least in part, a piece of the relationship between Anatole and Natasha. The song ends at the beginning of a conversation between Pierre and Anatole.

Pierre & Anatole: Pierre and Anatole fight over how Anatole has treated Natasha, mostly in that he is already married and planned to also marry Natasha. Pierre basically threatens Anatole, telling him to leave Moscow and never make contact with Natasha again. Anatole ends up leaving for Petersburg.

Natasha Very Ill: This is sung by Sonya, telling of how Natasha has poisoned herself with arsenic. She told Sonya what she did and became very ill. The doctors gave her the antidote and she’ll be fine, but it’s still upsetting to Sonya, as she hates seeing Natasha this weak, and she dreads the return of Andrey.

Pierre & Andrey: Andrey finally makes an appearance! He has returned from the war and this song is showing his reunion with Pierre. Pierre updates him on the status of Natasha and Andrey states that he cannot ask for Natasha’s hand in marriage again.

Pierre & Natasha: Pierre comes over to Marya’s house to deliver the news to Natasha, that Andrey is not going to ask for her hand in marriage again, and to return his letters. She begs Pierre to ask Andrey’s forgiveness through him, and doesn’t expect anything from him, just hopes for him to forgive her. Pierre reveals that, in another life, he would ask for her hand in marriage. Having cleared the air, Pierre and Natasha both end the conversation on a positive and almost joyful note.

The Great Comet of 1812: Pierre walks out of Marya’s house, onto the street to see the Great Comet of 1812 passing in the night sky above. For most people, they believed the comet to be a sign of the end of the world, but Pierre took it as a new beginning, a sign to finally start living life honestly.

BONUS - The Epilogue: A hopeful ending (added later) to a dramatic story.

5 notes · View notes

worryinglyinnocent · 5 years ago

Text

Fic: Moving On

Summary: Coming out of a bad relationship leaves Belle fearful to move on and start another with the shy Mr Gold, someone she recognises as sharing her own plight. Dr Hopper helps out in his own way.

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: "We accept the love we think we deserve."

Rated: T

CW: Past domestic abuse

===

Moving On

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Belle is no stranger to that acceptance. She has done her share of accepting the love she thinks she deserves, the love that she thinks she is worth. The love that is not really love, but that calls itself love in order to dig its claws in and make her believe that she cannot accept any other form of love, that this is the only type that she will ever be worthy of.

She has accepted that love, the false love that hurts and harms and weasels its way into her head to tell her that this is the love she deserves. She is broken and incomplete and as such she deserves a broken and incomplete love. She does not deserve something pure and unconditional, so she accepts what she can get, the littlest scraps of affection in the midst of the toxic mire that she found herself sprawled in the middle of.

It’s only what she deserves, after all, he says. She should be grateful for anything that she can get, as broken and unloveable as she is. After all, it’s not as if anyone else is going to give her anything better.

In hindsight, she knows that’s why it took her so long to leave that love that wasn’t really love. The fear that anything was better than nothing and she would never find another offer. It took a lot of time and clarity of mind to see that the twisted version of love that he had always given her was not, in fact, better than nothing. Nothing would definitely be better than that.

At least, it wouldn’t be any worse.

She feared never finding love again, and she feared what kind of love she might find. It’s been so long since she knew what true love really is, so long since love did not come with a price tag or a condition, so long since she didn’t have to beg for scraps of tenderness like a puppy.

(He literally made her beg like a puppy once. He thought it was cute.)

Because after all, she’s spent so long being told that she’s not worthy of anything other than cruelty that naturally it’s going to have a lasting effect. On the surface she knows it’s not true, but deep down, the wounds received from that last love are still there, and they fester.

Belle wants more than anything to be healed, to be whole, to be worthy of love. Proper love, true, unconditional love.

Dr Hopper tells her that she is worthy of love in any guise, that she does not need to present a perfect facade to the world in order to be accepted. She does not need to perform or conform.

Belle knows that it’s true, but sometimes it’s hard to remember, and she has to play his words like a mantra over and over in her head. You are worthy of love. You should be loved the way you are.

Up until Baeden Gold moves to town, Belle does not think that love will be on her radar again. She wants to be loved, she wants to find love, but she is not ready for the work that finding love entails, and she still does not think that love will find her, not in the state that she’s in.

But then Baeden Gold moves to town, and more importantly, his father moves to town.

It’s Baeden that Belle sees more than his dad, at first. He’s a bright and precocious child, an avid bibliophile who shares her passion for stories and loves to talk about books more than anything. He’s a regular at the library’s story time and checks out new books every week, always eager to discuss them with her. His father stays on the sidelines, hidden in the shadows of the stacks, trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. When their eyes do meet, a nervous half-smile flashes over his face for a brief second before he slips away, like a deer caught in the headlights, and Belle has to wonder, because she knows that reaction all too well.

It’s the terrifying thought of being seen, being judged, being known to be less than ideal and less than perfect. Oh, she knows that very well indeed, and she wonders how she can tell Mr Gold that it’s all right, that she’s just as broken as he is and there is no need to be alarmed or ashamed.

One night after Baeden has come into the library and Belle has exchanged half-smiles with Mr Gold, she lies awake, staring at the ceiling and wondering how she can apply Dr Hopper’s advice so well to Gold, but not to herself. Why does she hold herself to a higher standard than everyone else around her?

She knows the answer, of course, deep down inside, but she prefers not to think about it, tamping down all of those negative emotions. Now is not the time for them, not when she is beginning to think seriously about the possibility of moving on with her life and discovering something new, of discovering friendships, and maybe more than friendships, that will help her to grow rather than holding her back.

Belle wonders just how well she has read Mr Gold. She recognises her own victimhood in other people now that she has escaped from her own situation, but she would hate to be drawing erroneous conclusions based on his behaviour. She doesn’t exactly want to use his son as a go between, but Bae is always happy to talk to her, and perhaps she can garner a little more information about the familial status that way.

She shakes her head. No, if she wants to get to know Mr Gold better, then she’s going to have to take that first step herself. She is going to have to do the brave thing, and maybe once she’s done that, the bravery will come. She did not feel at all brave when she had first left that toxic love behind, but she came through it and she knows that in the end, with enough help and guidance from Dr Hopper, she’ll be all right. She will recover. Her bravery will have paid off.

Maybe it can do so again, even if she’s not feeling very brave at all right now.

She can do this.

Belle waits patiently for Bae and Mr Gold’s next visit to the library, but her mind is on a rollercoaster ride as she tries to work out the best way of beginning their interaction. Ultimately, when Bae comes to return his books, his father waiting in the shadows of the stacks like always, she chickens out at the last minute, exchanging their usual little half-smiles but not venturing out from behind the desk to talk to him. The old fears and doubts have started nagging at the back of her mind again. She’s broken, too broken to be worth anything, too broken to find someone new. The feeling gnaws at her, even more so because she knows that she thinks no less of Mr Gold for whatever cracks there might be in his own veneer.

Dr Hopper picks up on her indecision during their next session. He doesn’t call her on it. He calls her out on her destructive thought patterns and always helps her to put a healthier mechanism in place, but this time, he doesn’t state anything explicitly. He simply gives her a knowing look and asks a question that is both disarmingly easy and deceptively difficult to answer.

“Is there anything else that you want to talk about today, Belle?”

It would be easy to say no and leave it at that, but Belle knows that her quandary is clearly written all over her face, and she knows that Dr Hopper will know that something’s up, even if she doesn’t tell him in as many words.

She sighs. He’s here to help her after all, and maybe he can provide the impetus that she needs to let go of this baggage holding her back and take a leap of faith.

“I’ve met someone,” she says. “I’ve met someone, and I want to get to know him better, but I get the feeling that he’s like me. He’s been hurt and he’s scared of moving on. And I want to let him know that it’s ok, that I’m not going to judge him, but I can’t do that if I can’t even tell myself that. How can I let someone else know that they deserve happiness when I don’t believe it for myself?”

Dr Hopper takes a moment to digest this, and thinks before he speaks.

“There are a lot of schools of thought that will tell you that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself, or various iterations upon that theme. I don’t necessarily buy that myself. You have a lot of self-esteem issues, Belle, which you have made wonderful progress on in the time that I’ve been seeing you, but I know that you are a naturally friendly and affectionate person and you have a lot of love to give. So I think that there’s a lot of scope for you to go out and get to know this person better.”

He polishes his glasses on the edge of his sweater vest before he continues. “Yes, it is important for you to be aware of your self-worth before embarking on a relationship. It’s important to have a sense of self, or you’ll find that the relationship becomes unhealthy very quickly, if you’re so focussed on the other person that you begin to lose yourself. But that’s why I’m here; that’s why your friends are here. It would be a terrible thing indeed for us to stop you from moving on with your life and stop you from beginning new friendships and relationships based upon your relationship with yourself. If you think that you’re ready to start afresh, then we’ll help you to do that. And of course, the more that you apply my advice to other people, hopefully, the more you’ll begin to believe it yourself.”

Belle nods. “Yes. I think I’m ready. Thank you, Dr Hopper.”

Their session comes to an end, and Belle steps out of the office, startling as she does so, because Mr Gold is there in the waiting room.

He looks just as surprised to see her as she is to see him, and for a moment, the air is thick with awkwardness and embarrassment.

But then Belle holds her head high, and after a while, Mr Gold does too. There’s no shame in seeking therapy, for either of them.

“It’s, erm, lovely weather we’re having,” Mr Gold says eventually, very pointedly making no mention of the fact they’ve bumped into each other in the therapist’s office. Belle glances outside at the warm sunshine.

“Yes, it is. Would you…” She falters, but she’s determined to push through. Nothing about this is planned, but she knows that if she were following some kind of grand plan, then it would all be falling down around her ears anyway. Going in with a wing and a prayer is perhaps the best idea after all. “Would you maybe like to get ice cream later and enjoy the weather?”

“I…” He too falters, his deer in the headlights look back again, and for a moment, Belle wonders if he’s about to run for the nearest bolthole.

Then she hears the soft click of Dr Hopper’s office door opening.

“Cameron? Oh, I’m sorry, Belle, I didn’t realise that you were still here. I’ll leave you two in peace for a moment. Come in whenever you’re ready, Cameron.”

He lingers in the doorway for just a second longer, and Belle sees the moment that Mr Gold - Cameron - pulls his courage together with Dr Hopper’s encouragement.

“I’d like that, Miss French.”

“Shall we say four o’clock?”

Mr Gold nods, and the date is set. Belle feels like she’s walking on air as she steps out into the sunshine, and she wonders if Dr Hopper realised that she was talking about Mr Gold when she was speaking about her dilemma.

She wonders if Mr Gold has been talking about her in his own sessions.

It’s such a strange thing to have brought them together, but in the end, Belle thinks that it’s fitting. They evidently have a lot of baggage between them, and it will take a while for them to get going and trust each other, and more importantly themselves, to make a go of this. It makes sense that they might need some help along the way to see the important things, to see past their own negative thoughts getting in the way of finding new, true love.

She’s certain that with Dr Hopper’s help, they’ll get there.

#A Monthly Rumbelling #rumbelle fic #rumbelle #Belle French #Mr Gold #Archie Hopper #relationship beginnings #domestic abuse cw #Fic: Moving On

33 notes · View notes