#just one kilt please

[im-just-a-ghost]

Edwin living with Charles for 30 years but being clueless about the extent of his best friend's trauma, meanwhile on his fourth(?) encounter with the Cat King hitting him with the "lmao you're lonely that's why you change outfits" analysis

[deadlydelicious]

my one problem with the 15th doctor is i just want him to have a single iconic outfit. I know they were trying something new, but it feels like it just fundamentally breaks a key part of what makes the doctor feel like 'just a weird little guy'. they tried a similar thing with 12, giving him a bland and loose 'he wears black' directive and I hated it then too. I just want 15 to have his iconic outflit, please i'm begging.

[pcktknife]

unova loves to throw those fucking monkeys at you like Yes I saw them, I've seen the monkeys. You made a huge point to show them off in striaton city. I Get It.

[glossysoap]

Captain MacTavish in a kilt. that's it. that's the whole post.

sincerely,

a beloved moot😘

FUCK TUMBLR WHY DIDNT I SEE THIS UNTIL NOW 😭😭😭 also who are you? give me a hint 👁️-👁️

YEAH. like imagine his fucking beefy and hairy thighs all exposed!!! and his ass!!!!! what the fuck!!

tw: 18+, pup soap (can be interpreted as either sergeant or captain), free use, groping, mommy kink, dubcon/cnc (moments of him begging you to stop but there’s a safe word arrangement involved and he doesn’t use it)

I can definitely see you making him wear the kilt without any underwear (just a jock strap) so his cock is exposed for you to play with as you wish. You do it any time of the day.

Sometimes you do it while you watch television together and you’re sat next to your puppy. Not even looking at him while you’re casually, slowly jerking him off. Letting his slick slowly dribble from his tip as your hand moves up and down, spreading his wetness with every stroke until he’s fully coated. Throughout the movie, you’ll look down at his cock and watch for a moment as his foreskin shifts with every stroke.

“N-no, stop, please—,” He cries out.

He’s whining and bucking his hips into your hand, begging for you to speed up or even stop altogether. It’s so weak and pathetic, voice breaking.

“Such a wet and needy puppy.. You don’t really want me to stop do you?”

Similar things would be whispered in his ear as he performs daily tasks. Washing dishes, folding laundry.. You’d be there behind him giving him a reach around handjob under his kilt.

It comes to a point where he would just wear the kilt and nothing else. That and a collar. One with a good silver ring that you could loop your finger through to yank him down to your level.

A collar for a puppy.

Throughout the day, you’d come up behind him and press yourself up against his back. You’d feel him tense up a bit in surprise. He’d let out a pretty gasp every time your hands slipped under his kilt and started groping him. Cupping the curve of his ass, squeezing the plump flesh in both hands and even rutting against him.

Even if you didn’t have a cock, he would still let out a pretty little whimper at the feeling of you pressing yourself up against him. If you didn’t have a cock, sometimes you might even rut up against him with your strap slipped on.

You’d peg him too, usually while he was cleaning. Washing dishes or folding laundry. Your hands kept fondling and groping his ass, gripping the thick and hairy flesh as you guided the lubed up cock along his hole. He’d whimper and choke out a whine as he feels you prodding his hole. His posture would falter terribly, knees damn near buckling as you ease in. He doubles over, torso falling onto the counter or couch (or whatever other surface he was against while he was cleaning) and head resting against the surface. If your hands weren’t planted on his ass and he wasn’t resting on the surface, he’d be collapsing in a pile on the floor because his legs were so weak. You rut into him without abandon and he chokes out a cry. Tears prick in his eyes.

Then you’d reach around his bent over form and start stroking his hard, weeping cock while you thrust inside him.

“Ah-! M-mommy—,” He practically wails as you palm his tip and spread around his pre before stroking up and down, spreading his slick along his length.

You would jerk him and fill his ass till his orgasms ran dry. Till his hips were jerking as he instinctively tried to give you more. Every time it’d end with his kilt and thighs covered in his cum, his legs twitching like jelly, and tears in his eyes.

©️ glossysoap 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Look, This is gonna be one of those things that sounds bad until you read the whole story. Please don't read the title and go to 'yta' without reading.

AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

Look, My brother ISNT trans. He likes to wear kilts and sew, Which is what kind of started all of this. My brother is NOT trans, He loves being a boy (trust me, I can hear him enjoying being a boy in his room all the time. Theres no way he'd wanna chop it off(I mean this as a joke I don't actually know how the surgery works), He's told me multiple times that being told by others what he likes is 'feminine' and 'girly' upsets him because he's proud of being a boy and doesn't like being called a girl. Its not because he hates girls or thinks less of them, He just does not like being called the wrong gender which I'm sure you want to be called the correct gender too.)

Anyways lets begin. I (16F) am my little brothers (15M) best friend, Basically. We grew up together and do everything together, Including sewing. I liked it when I was younger, And eventually convinced him to try it as well. He loved it, And we love just sitting together and making random crap we usually end up selling at our yearly garage sale. (Our mom makes us sell all our unneeded crap every year, But we aren't complaining when we make like $100 for it, Mom and dad even help us figure out what we actually wanna keep (we sometimes see old things and go 'Oh I could never get rid of this' and then throw it away))

Sorry for the rambling, But you'll see why some of this is important to know.

Basically, We were getting our shit together for the garage sale, And invited over a mutual friend of ours, Who I'll call uhhh Ley (16F). Shes kind of obsessed with the LGBTQ and loves to help people 'realize' they're gay or trans or non-binary. By this I mean she'll literally bully people she 'knows' is gay or trans by always telling them they are and spreading rumors about them saying they are. The way she 'knows' these things are from gut feelings. I thought maybe she needed friends who would be honest with her and tell her gently that it needed to stop. She stopped being so bad with it and we even convinced her to admit to the rumors she started being fake. We've known her for around 3 years now, And she's stopped doing it as aggressively for 2 of those years. She still makes jabs and 'jokes' saying things like "Oh thats so girly, Are you sure you're not trans?" and "Oh thats such a boy thing to do, Are you a lesbian?", Both quotes she's said to me and my brother less than a week ago. I am straight and cis, So is my brother. We have nothing against the lgbt, We just aren't apart of it. We support the lgbtq as much as possible (with my part time job I like to donate some of my paycheck towards point of pride so people who need the surgeries or binders can get them), And are very open about supporting them.

While we were cleaning out my brothers room and finding stuff to throw into the 'sell' box (we like to do precleaning before our parents help us, It makes everything faster and less work on the people trying to help), And Ley found my brothers kilt. She did a long exaggerated gasp, Looking at my brother.

"So, How long have you been trans? Why didn't you tell me?? I knew it the whole time!"

My brother tried to explain that it was a kilt for men, And he wasn't trans, But she kept interrupting him saying crap like 'you don't have to lie I know now' and 'Its nothing to be embarrassed about, I knew ever since you started to sew'. The last straw for me was when she continued not listening to him and started to ask about how he was gonna come out as school. I yelled at her to get out, That neither of us were gay, Neither of us are trans, And neither of us are apart of any of the lgbtq. We are allies and nothing more. She tried to argue that he had a 'skirt' which OBVIOUSLY meant he was trans, I basically screamed at her that she was a stupid know it all who made everyone who wasn't apart of the lgbtq's life hell because she made sure everyone knew them as someone they arent (I know, I shouldn't of brought up 2 years in the past) and that I was tired of her trying to force everyone to be in the LGBTQ when its just not realistic. Not everyone is gay or trans, Some people are cis and straight. She started crying and left, We haven't spoken in a few days but I think I'm justified. I'm tired of living my life being told I'm something I'm not, I'm tired of seeing it happen to my brother too.

My brother later thanked me for standing up for him, Telling me it made him really upset when she said those things. To cheer him up we watched his favorite movies and I made him his favorite dinner (mom and dad both work day jobs so we both make lunch and dinner)

And for those who are gonna say that allies are apart of the LGBTQ I strongly believe the A is for aro/ace. Being an ally isn't a gender or sexuality

(unless people identify using ally/allyself of course or whatever it is, I'm not quite sure how neos work or whatever but I love to see how creative people get with it and am happy it gives people who don't identify with any of the normalized(? Idk the correct term but yknow the man woman and nb) genders a chance to be who they actually are)

Extra info on why I think I could be the asshole: I feel like we might've been able to explain it if we got her to shut up for a minute, But she kept talking over us. I feel like I went too far by insulting her, And I feel like I might be TA because she's also autistic (so is my brother though, And I have ADHD).

Why I think I'm NTA: My brother is really quiet and doesn't really defend himself often. He doesn't really know how to stand up for himself and is 'easy' to talk over (soft spoken, Quiet talking voice and nonconfrontational) which is why I believe I had to step in in his place, And I don't believe I did anything wrong defending my brother and making her stop calling him what hes not.

Anyways. AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

To see later: PINK PANTHER

What are these acronyms?

[blingblong55]

Model- 141+ König NSFW

Based on requests:

1.OKAY BUT 141+KÖNIG WITH A READER THAT DOES DIGITAL ART🏃‍♂️ 2.Can you write about TF141+König with an S/O what draws, animates, etc? I was thinking more digital art, but traditional is cool too. If you only wanna do one character, can it be Ghost? Thank you!

GN!reader, digital artist/painter!reader, established!relationship, civilian!reader, smut, 18+, MDNI, Sub!Male, Dom!reader

A/N: Some will be short...and you'll definitely notice who is my favourite on this one

As someone with the talent and skills to create art with your hands and a clean canvas, you always find yourself looking for a model. Thankfully, he is there now, in that position, just for you.

Price:

You mentioned before that you needed a model to help you with proportions for your art. Your strong and bulky boyfriend decided to be just the right model you needed. For months you and him work late at night, and he props himself up for you, wearing whatever you need to bring your ideas to life. The people who buy said art always admire how realistic your art looks, and how no other artist does what you do. And it's all thanks to him.

At the moment, he is on the sofa, dressed in a black suit, a collar around his neck, eyes looking at you, pleading for you. "Stay still, I have to get this angle." You sketch his body onto the canvas of your tablet. You had been teasing him since he woke up, vibrator to his sensitive cock. You had tied him up before this session, mainly because he kept touching himself for some release. Now, staying still and obeying was his punishment. And for him, it was the worst one so far.

"How...much...more...please..need-.." he said in between whimpers and moans. You approach, looking at him, taking in how needy he was being. You get down on your knees, and he moves a little only to find you sketching this position. He whines and closes his eyes, whimpers getting louder by the second. "Stay still or do I have to teach you another lesson?" The masochist in him wanted to be taught a lesson, "Please..please do" You grin, and slap his face lightly causing him to whimper in response. "Don't make any noise, I'm busy.." For an hour, he stayed still, cumming from just the way you teased and looked at him. For sure, this site would end up in someone's dungeon.

Gaz:

When he and you started to get more intimate and he'd make you look at what you and he were doing through the mirror, that's when you knew he had to be the model you'd use for your creations. It took time to mould him into who he is for you but it was all so worth it. Currently, he is leashed to your canvas' stand. Looking up at you, the bite marks and hickeys you had done hours prior still worn proudly on his neck. He was wearing nothing but the collar on his neck and the fishnets you made him wear. His face is slightly red from the heated makeout session you two had since he was a good boy for you.

Your paintbrushes colouring the canvas in front of you, he looked up at you. How sexy you looked when you were so focused on your art. You know he likes it when others watch as you fuck him. How well you can ride and how well he can listen to you. So, you brought a mirror into the art studio. Made him look at his reflection as you ride him, each time he would ruin a line in your art, it was another slap to his already abused face. Tears ran down his cheeks but a wide smile as he enjoyed the thought of how others would look at the canvas and see a moment where you once more made him yours.

Paintbrushes used to mess with his already-hardened nipples. His hands gripped your hips, guiding you to go faster, but you resisted, not wanting to ruin the creation you were making. Some paint smudged to his chest, your hand prints on them when you'd get carried away and ride him faster.

Soap:

He was the one who offered himself up, wanting to please you not just physically but visually. You had made him wear his kilt, war paint on as he spread his legs open for you. Hands in between his thighs, he leans forward, looking up at you with puppy eyes. You had been working with him in this position for too long now and all he needed was just some attention, physically. You knew you wanted this painting to feel more personal, needed a touch of yourself and him in it. So, you picked out the paints that were safe for the next activity you had in mind. You laid the cloth of a canvas on the floor and commanded him to go to it and get on his knees to wait for you.

Poured some of the safe paint on his chest, and you and he began to make out. The cloth filled with paint, art made from your bodies. By the time you and him were done paint was all over your bodies. He requested, as a reward, that you and him take a shower and if you wanted, he could also pose for you in the shower.

Ghost:

He loves to be your sub so when you mentioned that you needed a model for your art, he wanted to be the subject of all your attention. Currently, you have him tied up with leather ropes. A cock ring on him as you paint his position. He looks up at you with puppy eyes, his mask lifted only far up for you to see his lips. Every now and then, he closes his legs to get some friction, only to have his inner thighs spanked by you. He whimpers a little, asking for forgiveness since he knows what you will do to him after you are finished painting this position.

He looks at you, doe-eyed. "Please, please just touch me...just once." But you ignore his pleas. He shuts his eyes and begins to think of how you would touch him. That was the only way he could find some release while he was tied up. You look at the canvas, paint and figures finally making sense, and then you hear his loud moans and cries of pleasure. He was cumming at the thought of you, no one around to touch him, just his mind playing for him.

His whimpers were louder as he couldn't stop cumming, it all leaked everywhere, spurting out as he bucked his hips. "Oh...yes...oh..mmm." he moans. Leather leaking his own mess as you watched with a pleased smile.

König:

It all started with asking him for help in a position you weren't quite sure you knew how it worked or looked. He offered to help and now months later, he has become the man you please and base your art on. Tonight, you had a sudden idea, a man in a suit, touching himself as he wore some rather rougher ropes around his suit. König, is never opposed to the idea, he loves to listen to you and if he knows he can please you this way, then as your good submissive boy, he will obey. The tie he was wearing was now used as a choker that you pull any time he moans too loud.

When you finish sketching his position he looks at you, brows furrowed. "Can I please be touched now? I was a good boy...please" his voice soft, whimpers low. You stand up, the pen which you used to sketch his position in hand. You trail the cold pen along his skin, reaching his sensitive parts. He begins to move his hips, hoping you could go faster, to touch him sooner. Your hands are on his hip when his already hardened cock begins to throb, pre cum leaking as he looks at you. "Meine liebe, I'm so..." he moans. "I'm your messy boy..." he whimpers.

A/N: Maybe this was not part of the request...but a girl has her own needs...anyway..bye

[honeymoonblues]

Gossip & Giggles

Professor Remus Lupin x Professor!GN!Reader

Summary: You've gone away for the day, and Remus feels like everybody is acting strange. (Gender neutral reader)

Word count: 724

A/N: Fluffy little thing. Is implicated that the reader and Remus are in an established relationship. Please, let me know if there are any spelling errors, English is not my first language.

“I give him 10 minutes at most.”

“I’d say at least until he walks through the door of the first class.”

“Have a little faith! I think he won’t go five minutes without noticing.”

A few professors were clustered in the entrance of the great hall, murmuring to each other. Remus thought that was a bit odd, but didn’t question it much, it was far too early, and his hunger was stronger than his curiosity at the moment. 

When his coworkers felt his stare, they quieted down, which was even more curious. Were they talking about him? Lupin wondered. But the hot tea in his cup was much more enticing than whatever they might have going on.

His gaze was fixed at a random point of his table, his mind lost in the haze of the cold morning and the memory of you saying goodbye. 

It was much, much earlier when your owl had woken up both of you by clawing at your bedroom window. It carried bad news for you. Thankfully, nothing tragic had happened, but the letter received demanded your immediate attention. That’s how, before the sun was out, you left the castle, not before hugging and kissing Remus goodbye, of course.

Breakfast passed without giving professor Lupin much time to raise his spirits, so he walked to his first class with his mind still elsewhere. 

The students were lively, in total disregard of the early hour or the freezing weather, as expected from the second-years. When he called for their attention, however, they fell silent ridiculously fast and started to whisper to each other in a way that reminded Remus of the professors in the great hall this morning. The nervous tic in his eye started acting up, he sighed and tried to make his student’s concentrate on the class once again. 

Overall, it was an all-right lesson, even outstanding considering Remus was fighting his neck pain, five hours of sleep, and the constant gossiping the students seemed to have going on through whispers and notes for the whole two hours. 

Stretching and comforting himself, Lupin thought “the second years always have some drama to murmur about anyway”. But his next class with the fourth-years was somehow worse! 

This particular group of hufflepuffs and ravenclaws was usually quiet, so much that he had to beg them to participate. But this morning, they seemed to not be able to hold their tongues, or keep their giggles at bay. 

“What’s going on with you today!” Even Remus had to chuckle at the unusual circumstance. 

In spite of that, he took advantage of the energy in the class, and used it to make an impromptu dueling class, which would have been impossible with these students any other day.

Sitting down for five minutes between lessons, he scratched his head, in an almost meditative state. Why was everyone acting strange? Is he missing something? 

While making sure he had a matching pair of shoes, and had not magically changed his pants for a multi-coloured kilt somehow, the seventh-years entered his classroom.

The older the students, the more tired they usually are, so this class went along ordinarily. They did seem to be smiling more, and Remus thought he heard one of them call him ‘cute’, but what were the odds? 

As the hours passed, Remus felt more worn out than other days, so every little bizarre experience in class or after it, he ended up attributing to his own tiredness-induced-paranoia. 

To his heart’s content, you were back to the castle just in time for dinner. With all these odd happenings, he felt like you were gone a week rather than just a few hours, but here you were, finally. 

The silly grin he had on his face when he saw you, rapidly faltered when he noticed how you giggled at the sight of him. Merlin, you too?

Blinking slowly, he felt your arms wrapping around him.

“Hello.” his voice was muffled against your shoulder.  “I missed you.”

“I can tell, darling.” Moving away from him, you looked into his eyes and took his face delicately in your hands. “Is that why you decided to leave my lipstick mark on your cheek for today?”

Then, he laughed heartily in realization, while you wiped his face to get rid of the remnants of your morning goodbye kiss.

(i hope no one minded the concept of the reader wearing lipstick, considering it's a gender neutral reader, but i think makeup is pretty genderless! even us they/thems have to wear lipstick once in a while!)

[xxcrystalinerose]

Next up in the Sabzerus designs: Tighnari and Cyno!

I know this is unrendered, but I already committed to not rendering these two until I finish Haitham and Kaveh's designs which, in hindsight, is difficult atm because I have more ideas about Collei's design over them. With the recent release of Sethos, it seems that it would have to wait until I finish his and Collei's designs when I get to them. I'm writing a fic now lol so it the wait is probably quite long.

Tighnari's is relatively easy and I'm so pleased with the results! He finally looks put together and not... odd, palette-wise (to put it mildly). His clothing is based on the traditional dress of the Kabyle people, an Amazigh ethnic group from northern Algeria, with some modernized touches (I used references from modern-day photos of Kabyle dress!). The highlight is the burnous (hooded cloak), originally a symbol of resistance in the Algerian War of Independence and now a garment worn in special occasions such as religious festivals. I think it would be appropriate of Tighnari to wear one for his Sabzerus dress.

Cyno is so far the most difficult one to design. I have 0 references outside of speculative fashion plates and museum pictures of jewelry. I struggled so much with the outfit components, but I persevered and this is the result. His clothing is based on what Ancient Egyptian high priests of the New Kingdom wear. The long shendyt (kilt) and shawl are made from linen, which in higher social classes are woven so finely they appear as though transparent. Not just luxurious, but also airy for comfort against the desert heat.

Previously on: Nahida + Wanderer | Nilou

As usual, close-ups and some more thoughts under the cut:

Tighnari's canon design is incredibly confusing to me, because unlike some other Sumeru characters I have absolutely no idea which part of Algerian (or Arab, but that's a very wide ballpark) dress it's supposed to be based on. Where is that white fabric wrap even from? However, when I looked at his hoodie, I realized that it's probably supposed to be a "modernized equivalent" of a burnous. Probably.

The belt accessory is actually an article I always see on women's robe kabyle, but never men's. I think they look neat and Tighnari wears belt accessories, so I incorporated them. (If any of you seeing this are Kabyle or Amazigh, do tell me more of the nuances. Are they exclusively feminine accessories? I also read that Kabyle women tie their sashes differently depending on marital status, but does this only apply to sashes or does it also apply to these cord belts?)

It's not very obvious, but the burnous has a split back, so Tighnari's tail can poke out comfortably. It's also pretty fun to try and incorporate elements of his official design, such as the paw-print gloves, the boots, and the turtleneck. To me, Tighnari without a turtleneck is unimaginable for some reason.

I've been tentatively calling Cyno's design "the one time Cyno puts some effort into doing his hair". The little braids aside, his hair is actually in a half-up bun. I really should draw these refs from more angles... and this is unimportant in the grand scope of things, but I gave him some beef. My guy deserves more beef (and I apologize for covering his chest regardless).

The wesekh (wide collar) is made from gold and various precious gems/minerals. This one has gold, carnelian, and turquoise. The narrow golden beads on the outermost layer represents beetles, which in turn symbolize resurrection (i.e. Hermanubis' indwelling within Cyno).

I've always been baffled at the fact that Cyno wears mostly black, but would prefer for my design to contain elements from his actual design, so I kept the sash and helmet black. However, I do know that too much dyed linen (and animal fibers) are inappropriate to wear in temples. Unless you are a funeral priest, where you wear a leopard skin as a part of the rites. Then again, Cyno's biggest inspiration is Anubis, so perhaps he could get some leeway here...

To continue with the flower theming, I chose the Sumeru Rose for Cyno and Tighnari wears the yellow flower on his canon clothes once again. It's never mentioned in game, but I'd like to think the Sumeru Rose is among the national flowers of Sumeru along with the Padisarah, so it's appropriate for the General Mahamatra to wear it.

Lastly, I gave them matching double piercings. Tighnari wears them on his right ear (as per his canon design), and Cyno on his left. Another matching set :)

[thelaisydazy]

Band!141 x Reader - Subway

Just a little something I've had rattling around my brain this week~

You've never run faster in your life, you're not even sure your feet are hitting the ground between your frantic steps as you race towards the open subway car. You can't miss this train. Not today. Please, not today.

Today is the most important day of your life. The day you audition for a spot in the city's most prestigious ballet companies. If you miss your chance, you won't be able to try again for another year, and you don't know if you'll be able to afford to stay in the city if you don't get into the company. And you refuse to go home a failure. 

From the open train car you hear shouting. Voices calling for you to hurry. The train was about to leave. Nononono. The door starts to close as you run up to the train, just a split second too late. Then it opens again, a large black boot keeping the door from closing completely. 

You look up and see four large men, one of which has stuck his boot out to hold the door open for you. He smiles down at you, the corners of his blue eyes crinkling. He’s older, handsome. His dark brown hair and beard sporting some specks of gray.

“Y’made it love,” he says in a deep, warm voice that makes your heart race. 

“Thanks,” you say quickly, slipping past him and the three with him. The car is packed with nowhere to sit and almost nowhere to stand either. Except right near the group you pushed past on your way onto the train. Sheepishly you make your way back towards them. 

The one that stopped the door for you smiles again and another one, younger with dark curls, waves you over. You’re hesitant, but you go over. 

“One seat left ‘ere,” he says, beckoning to a seat he’d been standing in front of. You mumble another thanks and slip into the seat, trying your best to make yourself as small as possible, missing the way the group smiles at each other.  

“Where you rushing off to love?” the first one asked. The word burly comes to mind as you look up at him. He’s wearing a white tshirt under a well-worn leather jacket, a pair of beat up black jeans and a black beanie. Slung over his back is an instrument case, it looks like a guitar, but you don’t know much about instruments so it could be a bass. 

“I have an audition downtown,” you say, fidgeting with your duffle bag in your lap. 

“‘At Danc’n Knights place?” another one chimes in with a Scottish accent. This one is the shortest of the bunch, though he still towers over you. He’s broad, dark stubble on his pierced face and a mohawk. He’s wearing a spiked leather vest over a black sleeveless shirt and a kilt. He’s standing closest to the largest of the bunch, a large, blond man wearing a privacy mask that resembles a skull.

You nod. You hadn’t wanted to tell them, but the decal of a ballerina on your duffel bag, along with the tight bun you wore your hair in, was definitely enough to give it away. “Dancing Knights, yeah,” you say. “They’re looking for new ballerinas.”

“We’re heading to a recording studio near there,” the second man says. Getting a better look at him, he’s darker than the rest of the group, his eyes are the softest though, dampening the nervousness in your chest. He’s dressed similarly to the rest of the group, another instrument case on his back and a plaid shirt tied around his hips. “Maybe we’ll be seeing you around there.”

You can’t help but smile up at him and nod. He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a small black card, handing it over to you. “We’re I4I,” he says. “I’m Kyle, everyone calls me Gaz.” He went around pointing to the oldest man first. “That’s John.” Then to the Scottish man. “Johnny, we call him Soap.” And finally the largest of them. “And big guy there is Ghost.”

“Ghost?” you can’t help but ask, looking over the card in your hand. It’s a thick black stock with the band name and a logo featuring a skull with a sword running through it wrapped in a pair of white feathered wings.

Kyle shrugs at you. “Doesn’t like anyone knowing his name,” he says simply. You nod quietly, then give them your name with a polite smile. 

“You’re all in a band then?” you ask, relaxing a little. You were certain whatever they played, it wasn’t something you were into, but they seemed nice enough to at least check out their social media. It was the least you could do after they stopped the subway for you.

“That’s right lovie,” Kyle says. “Next big thing.” He gives you a wink. “Better keep your pretty little eyes out for us.” Your face feels warm at his shameless flirting and he chuckles at you. “We always post when we’re playing next, you should come to one of our shows. We’ll give you the VIP experience.”

“Oh!” you say. “Uh.. sure.. Maybe.” You tuck the card into your duffel. “I’ll keep an eye out if I make this audition.”

“You better make it then little one,” John says, smiling at you as the subway pulls into your stop. “For our sake.” 

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

the bafta livestream out of context: top 60 cursed quotes.

There is nothing more cursed than the livestream I just witnessed, and I made a summary post but now I'm just going to put in quotes by the worthy maggots in the stream with no context, because BELIEVE ME THE CONTEXT DIDN'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER. The livestream chat was NOT A PLACE OF THE LORD.

I'm going to make the quotes that were by me a different colour. Please know that I am NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A SINGLE QUOTE OTHER THAN THOSE. SO HERE'S THE TOP 60 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Barbenhimer awakened things in me ok

aroace people the most disturbingly sexual talkers on the planet fight me on this

WHO JUST GASPED

MICHAEL SHEENS BABY TALKING BARK BADK IM A DOG BARK WOOF

I feel so sorry for this woman. She's being so heartfelt and we're here thristing over a slinky that possessed a man

IRELAAAND PLEASE ADOPT ME AS YOUR OWN PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE LAND OF UNPRONOUNCABLE WORDS, GREEN FEILD, CATHOLISISM AND HOZIER PLEASE

the urge to go to france and misgender a croissant is real

Devastated the slutty knees have gone away

So many men nowadays are so submissive and breedable like thank you lord for these men thank you

witches and murder slime tutorial

speaking of royals did the bloke who ISN'T lizzy's husband but her son apparently die yet

Turtleneck Crowley is my gender.

WE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AS NOT SAFE FOR WORK WHY THE DRTAOLS ASMI

SAY AN BFUIL CEAD AGAM DUL GO DTÍ AN LEITHREAS AN WE'LL LET YOU THROUGJ

"Oompa loompa doopety dee, I really hated being in this movie" -Hugh grant probably

IF YOU'RE A CHILD AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THAT MESSAGE IM SORRY

i want the kilt back this a betrayal

if someone put me in a room with kilt!david tennant one of us is walking out of that room pregnant and its not gonna be me

a lot of these words are in the bible and none of them should be in that order you need jesus

Can we vote to make david wear that kilt back? Maybe make him do a twirl this time

You mean Bildaddy? 😏

Honey what make you think a dude who roamed around with prostitutes and got himself more holes for mankind won't be calling bildad bildaddy? [this was about jesus btw.]

FREE THE KNEE

Show us the knees!

AND YOU'RE COMING AFTER ME FOR MY BLOWJOB BANANA

He looks like those fancy chocolates. Imma take a bite outta him. Think you'll leak molten goo like them?

My brain isn't working, I read "bratty couch jr"

i'm sorry the what holes

FIND ME ON GOAD AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY APPROPRIATELY

I genuinely thought it was a road typo and I thought you were threatening asmi with physical violence on the road

OHH FLOWER OF SCOTLAAAAAAND

Combine that with the unfortunate oranges and see what happens.

DEVASTATING NEWS I ATE UP ALL OF THEM SO I'VE BROUGHT A BLOWJOB BANANA INSTEAD

That reminded me of the army video where the guy was deepthroating a 7 inch banana without a hitch.

OMG THEY JUST FLASHED BACK & I GOT A GLIMPSE OF THAT KILT 🥵🥵🥵

thats why apollo had to deliver you at an illegal sushi restaurant

How long do you think it would take to get david naked from his chocolate man suit? Can we set a new speedrun category?

SUPERBOWL FOR TENNANTISTS

Big feelings about pants straps in the chat tonight

Last time i check yoire supposed to thank the lord gor his gifts

HEY GUYS ASMI'S FROM A PARALLEL UNIVERSE CONFIRMED

I just have a deep appreciation for ireland

Can you use suspenders as bondage gear? I mean it looks like it would be fine? I mean if you make the length a bit more they might be more comfortable than ropes. Just sayin

All i can think when i see him in the costume is the one specific ken and oppenhimer slash fic. Lord help me i can't be saved

GIVE MY LOVE TO THE LEPRECHAAAAAAAAAAAUNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Like a giant orange slice on her one arm.

Stop hitting the lectern geez / what if its into that?

Men who wear suspenders are such losers like why do you need so much cloth to keep your pants up. Why dont you just wear a belt. Where do you live. What is your timezone. What are you office hours

what is this suspender shaming ari chappal for you

Aziraphales office hours are: fuck off

Put me ina room with a suspender wearing man and he shall have the same fate as kilttennant

MARIYADAM E ILLAI

It was titled "snake in my b***" It meant butt lmfao

CROWLEY AND LOKI MY GENDERFLUID ICONS

THE KNEES ARE BACK

THEKNEES GOD SAVE ME FROM THESE SINFUL THOUGHTS

What if slutshaming is my kink?

NOT THE BLOWJOB FACE NO

AT THIS POINT IF NEIL HASN'T UNFOLLOWED ME YET HE'S ASKING TO BE MENTALLY SCARRED IM SORRY

I am failing

Tagging the main culprits whose tumblr handles I know:

@thearoacemess @vitrilol @queermarzipan @good-usernames-were-taken

Cheers, maggots.

[whyse7vn]

BREAKING POINT -

[ ot7 x reader ]

this is like super short pls forgive me tan twitter tl for context

tan on twitter!!!

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

tae: yoongi pls unblock me on twitter

yoongi: kill yourself

tae: i tried guys why doesn’t he love me 💔

y/n: that was a pathetic try

tae: guess what

y/n: what?

tae: ligma man..

y/n: ligma??

jimin: no way 😭

jk: baby…

namjoon: really

y/n: WHAT???

jin: i’m with her

wtf you guys on about??

hobi: this is a sad day

tae: LIGMA FUCKING BALLS BITCH

y/n: drown

jimin: ur fault tbh

hobi: real

y/n: leave me alone

jin: look you made her upset idiots

y/n: IM NOT UPSET

hobi: cheer up baby ❤️

namjoon: it’s okay tae upsets me all the time

y/n: im fine

hobi: bts song

jk: i know bts

tae: me 2

y/n: i want to stab you with a pencil

tae: watch out namjoon

namjoon: she is definitely talking to you

tae: proof?

hobi: bts?

jimin: i’m gonna bts outta you shut the fuck up

hobi: aw man :/

jk: bts?

jin: beat the shit

tae: beat MY shit

jk: woah

yoongi: he actually needs to kill himself wow

tae: @y/n u 2

y/n: LEAVE ME ALONE

jimin: she’s mad

y/n: I’M NOT MAD

jin: y/n are you still with that scoups guy?

namjoon: didn’t we just find out they we’re together like a week ago?

jk: WE DID????

jin: she moves on fast tho so idk

y/n: NO I DONT????

jimin: yoongi mingyu jk scoups mark wonho minho san all of us

there’s more hold on i’m thinking

hobi: all of us?

jk: say sike…

y/n: ARE YOU FUCKING SICK???????

jin: woah major slut alertttttt

namjoon: shut up

y/n: ONLY LIKE 4 OF THOSE NAMES ARE RIGHT

jk: what

y/n: AND IVE ONLY FUCKED 2 OF THEM SO KILL YOURSELF LEAVE ME ALONE

yoongi: she’s a grown woman

y/n: RIGHT

sorry i’m hot as fuck and pull bitches it’s not my fault

jin: u mid

y/n: ur 30

jin: ok please leave me alone i’m sorry

tae: my body count is also 2

jimin: -2

tae: ummmm?

jk: i’ve killed no one

i could of but don’t worry

namjoon: ??

hobi: fyi she did not deny being with scoups

jimin: TRUE

jk: NO

y/n: i deny it

jimin: too late we know

jin: SLUT

sorry

pls i’m sorry i didn’t mean it pls don’t be mean to me

please oh my god i’m sorry it slipped out

love u

please

y/n: THIS IS NOT FEMINISM

namjoon: it’s okay if ur with him

jk: NO ITS NOT STOP SAYING THAT WHATS UR FUCKING ISSUE STUPID STUPID STUPID

y/n: IM NOT

tae: who have you fucked

yoongi: are you stupid?

tae: no i’m curious

hobi: OH IM CURIOUS YEAH

wow i love shinee

y/n can you please start talking to minho again and then get married to him so i can be at his wedding and we can be forever connected

jk: SHUT UR MOUTH

y/n: you guys know so much about my relationship life it actually makes me want to throw up

jimin: ur easy to stalk

hobi: she’s fucked jk and yoongi

tae: and me

jin: in dreams doesn’t count

yoongi: lol

tae: LOL AWAY FROM ME YOU NASTY BITCH

U THINK UR WINNING BUT UR FUCKING NOT

WHEN ME AND Y/N GET MARRIED IT WILL BE ME KIM TAEHYUNG WHO LOLS IN UR FUCKING FACE

YOU RAT

yoongi: L

tae: no

yoongi: O

tae: YOU FUCKING STOP RIGJT NOW MIN YOONGI

yoongi: L

tae: 6pm seoul south korea apartment block C floor 7 door number 279 a ak47 a man a mask and a fucking dream

namjoon: wow ok that’s great!!

nice vogue shoot btw jungkook!

jk: I WILL NOT FUCK U GO AWAY

namjoon: oh my fucking god

hobi: scottish pride!!

jimin: ???

hobi: was he not wearing a kilt?

jimin: a what?

hobi: killing myself

jin: why they put you in that dirty ass bathroom omg?

tae: dirty shoot for a dirty man

jin: ?

tae: what?

jin: just a bit crazy coming from u

y/n: tae you need to shower

tae: you in love

ha

fucking bitch

jin: do you fuck her or fight her damn?

jimin: right he’s pissing me off

tae: can you leave me alone i’m going through a lot rn

jk: dick

tae: ??

jk: a lot of dick

yoongi: lmao

namjoon: he likes men?

hobi: ewwwwwwwwwwww

jimin: homophobia?????????

jk: yes so he’s going through them

cuz he does not like y/n

yoongi: you say this like every 2 weeks

jk: because it is true

y/n: thank god

jk: no thank men

hobi: thx men

jin: so it’s not jimin?

jimin: what??

tae: i’ve never touched another man let alone sleep with one

hobi: amen

y/n: now that is just not true

namjoon: who cares

tae: I DO

hobi: no one will ever say those words to you

jin: i will

tae: fr 🥲?

jin: LOL

tae: ok kys

and fuck that bitch y/n

yoongi: have

tae left “tan on twitter”

hobi: cuteness overload ^_^

y/n: what crawled up his ass today tf

jk: hi do you need me do you want me do you love me

namjoon: can we just talk about life or like

jin: let me guess trees?

jimin: weed?

jk: OH MY GOD NAMJOON WANTS TO TALK ABOUT WEED

hobi: life is a downward spiral noting matters we are all slowly dying the government hates us money is worthless drugs are all around our water is running out

jk: where is it running out of

let’s catch it

y/n: tae was being super weird right?

hobi: super shy

namjoom: what’s new

hobi: new hair

namjoon: stop

hobi: forgive me master

namjoon: i’m at my breaking point

jimin: breaking bad

jin: drugs?

jimin: it all links back to namjoon…

jk: omgggggg namjoon is this true……..

namjoon: LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

—-

pls lmk if you like the twitter concept idk if i’m feeling her yet but if you guys are i will do more idk trying to be different 🙈

[ofmdrecaps]

08/28-29/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Ruibo Qian; Vico Ortiz; Ruibo Qian; Nat Torres; Eliza Cossio; Madeleine Sami; Damien Gerard; Cortney Andersen; Call To Action: Yahoo Survey; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika;

== Recap Status ==

Hey friends, my dad finally had surgery and he's alive but there are complications. I've compiled what I can for these two days, idk how useful it is. I'll try to get more done tonight since so much happened today but I'm not sure how far I'll get. Sending hugs and good vibes <3 Thank you for all the kind words and folks checking on me, sorry I'm slow to respond, been a lot the last few days. Pardon me for any mistakes, please feel free to let me know if there are.

== David Jenkins ==

David's mom Mary was just named US Open Employee of the Month! Congrats Mrs. Jenkins!

David retweeted this old post by Liam Gallagher <3

David Jenkins twitter

== Rhys Darby ==

= Cryptid Factor: Live in Edinburgh =

Rhys and the boys have posted a a partial video of the first night of The Cryptid Factor Live <3 Check it out on their patreon.

Source: The Cryptid Factor Patreon

The episode of Expedition X with Rhys is out on Discovery!

Source: Phil Torres Instagram

Rhys is being the best band manager Murray and promoting his son Finn's band! You can follow them on Youtube!

Source: Rhys Darby's Twitter

Yes, Rhys Darby has worn a kilt, take that information and do with it what you will <3

Source: @wastingyourgum's Twitter

== Ruibo Qian ==

The Pirate Queen is playing around with filters and having a good time <3

Source: Ruibo's Instagram Stories

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico made a shoutout to our beloved Samson <3

Source: Vico Ortiz Instagram

== Minnie Driver ==

New hair cut for our Anne Bonny!

Source: Minnie Driver's Instagram

== Madeleine Sami ==

More Double Parked BTS/promos from Mads and Crew!

Source: Madeleine Sami's Instagram

== Nat Torres ==

I forgot about the other dogs that the cast posted for International Dog Day back on the 26th! Here's one of our awesome writers, Nat Torres' beautiful pup <3

Source: Nat Torres Instagram Stories

== Eliza Cossio ==

Another one of our writers we don't see out and about too often has made an appearance! We miss you Eliza! So good to see you having fun!

Source: Elisa Cossio's Instagram

== Courtney Andersen ==

Happy International Dog day from Courtney, The Revenge's rope maker and his pup! (David popped in to wish the Prince well too!)

Source: Courtney Andersens Instagram

== Damien Gerard ==

Happy Acting Anniversary to our dear Father Teach! <3

Source: Damien Gerard's Twitter

== Call to Action: Yahoo Feedback ==

Thank you to our friend Lucy over on twitter for bringing this to everyone's attention!

Source: Lucy on Twitter

== Love Notes ==

Sorry I don't have a lot in me right now to get the fan spotlight section together lovelies. I hope you're doing so well and staying healthy. I think about you all all the time. I found a few things that made me smile/had some good vibes, sending them along to you. Take care lovelies <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by bailey ☻ (@anxiety.positive)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Studio After Cigs (@st.aftercigs)

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Smiles and chats for our guys tonight. Gifs courtesy of the so very talented @eddie-redcliffe and @celluloidbroomcloset

[nekohime19]

Mini Mac # 45 : Lil guy's giant

Monkeys courting. Babies being devils. Sanzang being kidnapped. A normal day.

Wukong didn't like the place they reached. Bramble Ridge, as it was called, was full of mist and odd whispers. The forest was veiled by an aura of deceit that pricked his skin. Nonetheless, Sanzang was tired, and everyone was looking forward to resting. As such, they decided to stop here.

“What are you even afraid of, Monkey? There are no traces of humans, let alone beasts here.” Snorted Bajie, as always eager to mock his elder brother.

“Aren't you being a bit over-precautious?” Tentatively asked Wujing. It was no secret that since Wukong confessed to Macaque, he became even more protective, if it was possible, of his tiny family. Wukong huffed, well as long as he was here, even if the forest was haunted, he could deal with it.

The great sage looked down at his heart-pocket, Macaque and the cubs were resting there, protecting themselves from the cold mist, curled together in a cute pile of fluffiness.

“We stopped?” Asked Macaque. Both cubs peeked from their dad's belly and looked up with wide curious eyes. Wukong cooed at his family.

“Yeah, Ao Lie is making the fire.” Macaque nodded at that, he climbed out of Wukong's pocket, the great sage carefully took him and put him on the ground.

Once they were put down, Savage leaped off Macaque's arms and ran on all-four around the camp, her tiny paws were soon full of mud, same with her tiger skin kilt. She was faster and faster these days. Wukong was excited for when she would try to walk on her own two feet.

“Well, that will be a delight to wash.” Sighed Macaque as he watched her daughter roll around in the mud. Rumble was put down from Macaque's arms too. These days, Wukong and Macaque were trying to make him walk on his own. Rumble looked up at them with a pout, he didn't like to walk on muddy floors, especially when he could be cradled.

“Come on, bud. You can do it.” Encouraged Wukong with a nod. Rumble pouted harder, he looked up at the great sage with puppy dog eyes. He lifted his chubby arms and tried to reach for Wukong, looking cute.

“Mrrp.” Chittered Rumble. And because he knew his parents loved it he added some incomprehensible blabber “waaa.” Contrary to his sister, Rumble didn't blabber a lot, he only did it when he wanted something.

“Awww” Cooed Wukong, he was about to cave to his son's whims but Macaque stopped him.

“Wukong, can you search for food please?” Asked the black-furred monkey with a soft smile. Wukong fur fluffed up and he nodded frantically.

“O-of course! Anything you want!” Squeaked the great sage before scrambling to satisfy his mate's wishes. They were still in the early stages of their relationship where they wanted to do everything the other wished. It was especially the case with Wukong. He became overly clingy. Macaque was more one for words. He was too embarrassed to do this sort of thing in public. But he was whispering honeyed words to the other all night. It began with “You look great today” and before he knew it he found himself writing full stanzas for Wukong.

It's been one week since their confession, and they were both in the thrall of the honeymoon phase.

Macaque crouched down before his son and playfully flicked his snout. “Now you can't use your Pa to get out of this. Come on, blossom, just walk a little.” Rumble sneezed because of the flick and glared at his dad. He pouted harder but he knew his dad wasn't as weak-heated as his pa. The cub let out a grumpy “mrrp” and began to slowly walk on all four.

Macaque cooed at him “That's good! You did good. You need to exercise those lil paws of yours once in a while.” The black-furred monkey picked up his son after a few minutes of crawling and walking. Rumble was pouting, he wiped his tiny muddy paws on his dad's chest.

“Mm, I should have seen this coming.” Winced Macaque as he looked at the pawprints on his chest.

Wukong came back at this moment with a huge pile of fruits, as tall as a pinetree. Macaque sweatdropped, he didn't ask for this much.

“Here I got food!” Proudly chirped Wukong as he showed off his enormous pile. He wanted to impress Macaque!

“You idiot Monkey! What are we gonna do with that much fruit!” Groaned Bajie.

“Eat them, what else?” Huffed Wukong.

“Well at least we're gonna eat well.” Cheered Wujing, always the one seeing the positive.

“Oh, he got dragon fruit too! Nice.” Added Ao Lie with an approving nod.

“Courting monkeys are the worst.” Grumbled Bajie as he pinched his eyebrows.

“You only say that because you have no mate, Piglet.” Mocked the great sage with crossed arms.

“At least I did not pine for litteral centuries.” Sneered Bajie. Both monkey and pig glared at each other.

“Let's not fight!” Interrupted Sanzang, he was trying to reach the lil devil who climbed in his headdress. Recently, Savage decided she wanted to explore Sanzang's headdress. It was big and shiny, and how could she leave it unexplored? Macaque sighed, he could already imagine all the muddy pawprints on the monk's headdress.

“Excuse me, great sage?” All the pilgrims stopped and turned towards the newcomer. It was an old man with a plate of steamed cake. “I am a local Deity of this forest, I welcome you here. But I'm afraid the only thing I have to offer is this plate.”

Bajie reached for the steamed cake, eager to eat them, but he was stopped by Wukong who grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him back.

“A local Deity?” Wukong frowned and scrutinized the old man, his smell screamed demon. “Who do you think I am? Get out of here!” Wukong grabbed his staff and swung it at the old man.

The demon clicked his tongue and transformed into mist, blinding everyone. He whisked away Sanzang and left quickly. Once the mist disappeared the pilgrims looked around and realized their master wasn't here anymore.

“Master!? This demon!” Growled Wukong. Macaque squeezed Rumble tightly, he paled once he realized Savage was on Sanzang's headdress.

“Savage was with Sanzang!” Fretted the black-furred monkey, Wukong paled before tightly gripping his staff, his daughter was in danger.

Meanwhile, Sanzang was transported to a hall with numerous other persons who all pretended to be righteous. They began to talk about poetry and philosophy. “Well, I've seen weirder.” Muttered Sanzang.

The monk grabbed his headdress and picked Savage, the tiny monkey peeked from the monk's fingers and looked around with wonder. “You stay still, alright?” Fretted Sanzang. Savage chirped, excited, and began to pawe at the fingers holding her. She wanted to explore! “Oh boy.” Sweatdropped the monk.

Sanzang managed to gold the tiny cub for one minute. It was an achievement in itself. But then he blinked and she disappeared. The monk yelped and looked around, panicked. He smiled tightly at the man around him talking about poetry and looked for his niece. He found her on the head of someone called Apricot Immortal, a young woman with luminous starlike eyes. Sanzang nervously approached the woman, she beamed at him.

“This is a great day isn't it?” She purred with delight. Sanzang gulped, his eyes darted to Savage, who was pawing at the women's hair. Luckily, Savage was so tiny her paws felt like feathers hitting you.

“Yeah, the greatest of days.” Gulped the monk. The next minutes were one of the most embarrassing of his existence. Clearly the young woman was trying to seduce him, which was already awkward because of his buddhists belief, but he had to pretend to be receptive to get ahold of his niece.

“You know you have great eyes.” Praised Apricot Immortal.

“Thanks. They're natural?” Replied Sanzang. How did people even flirt these days? He pretended to chase a fly and tried to reach for Savage, but she skillfully avoided his fingers and remained on the woman's head. The monk was at the same time frustrated by his niece slipperiness and impressed by her agility.

“You know I've been so lonely in recent years.” Sighed Apricot Immortal. “I long for company.”

“Well, huh, I'm sure you'll find it. Someday who is not today.” Awkwardly replied the monk, he patted the woman's head and grabbed his niece before she could run away. Savage squeaked in frustration. The monk then bid his farewell and walked away, as stiff as a board. He didn't know where he was but he needed to get out of here.

All the other guests began to encircle him, and Sanzang clutched Savage harder, not letting her out of his sight. But before one demon could do something, the roof of the hall was ripped off and a giant monkey made of smoke and shadows peered down at them.

Sanzang paled. Well this has been a great life. Savage looked up at the giant and chirped in delight, she lifted her chubby arms and tried to reach for it.

Luckily, the giant turned out to be Macaque and the demons, who were in truth tree demons, were all dealt with.

“I didn't know you could do that.” Muttered Sanzang as he watched Macaque fret over his daughter. Squishing her cheeks and looking all over her. Wukong was fretting alongside him.

“It's a new thing.” Answered Macaque once he was sure his daughter was fine.

“You should have been there, Master. Wukong became all flustered when Macaque transformed.” Giggled Ao Lie.

“Ao Lie!” Squeaked Wukong with red cheeks.

The pilgrims snickered at their brother's embarrassment.

+ cut scenes

Macaque *worried dad mode* *become giant of shadows*

Wukong : 😳, that's kinda hot

 

Sanzang *looking at the giant* : 😭 I'm dead

Savage *looking at the giant* : 😆 Dad!!

 

Rumble *refusing to walk* : I am a precious monkey and I refuse to be dirtied by mud 😤

Macaque : Come on, bud. For dad

Rumble :... I will do it, but only a little

Ch1 / Previous / Next

[vintagemulti]

a psa for those writing for johnny “soap” mctavish

as much as a love the works you’re all writing, a lot of people really don’t know how to write a scottish character (and that’s ok !!!! we get like no rep so) so as a scottish writer, i figured i should help you guys out a little bit.

dialogue

johnny has a VERYYY strong accent as i’m sure anyone can work out

however this doesn’t mean he’s suddenly speaking a different language

yes, a lot of slang is used and for a basic definition of scottish slang and how they should be used; use this ! if you have no idea of slang i’d recommend reading through every word

although we like to use slang, i can promise you that if we’re with someone that wouldn’t understand a word of it / someone who’s first language isn’t english, we wouldn’t speak fully scot (for example if johnny was speaking to alejandro or rudy)

there’s absolutely nothing to suggest he can speak gaelic. yeah i know this is an obvious one but i have seen a few people slip gaelic into his dialogue and that’s super duper inaccurate

barely anyone in scotland speaks gaelic (unless you’re up very high north or maybe in the isles). it’s actually almost an extinct language because the english pretty much wiped it out when we got colonised.

something i love to see is when he mumbles little scottish things under his breath. accurate af.

we say shite more than shit. and never ever will a scottish person say ass. it’s arse all the way.

we don’t call people (especially if you’re sleeping with someone !!!!) lass. or lassie. we call kids that.

pet names are normally along the lines of love, hen (my personal fave), sweetheart, little lady, bonnie (sometimes)

also, shagging is sex. shag, shagged, shagger. yeah.

mum not mom. maw, more commonly.

all that being said he does use a loottttt of slang so honestly go ham i love seeing scots language get used because it’s not been used in fanfic like ever before

culture

seen a few people write soap going mad for st andrews day

yeah no we don’t to that lol i barely every remember that it’s actually st andrews day

also, we aren’t all completely versed on celtic mythology. i could barely tell you the first thing about it.

in scotland we’re all kind of touchy, like we’ll greet people with a hug and stand weirdly close to each other so if that’s something you’re writing about it’s important to note that our personal space is really small

not sure where people get this idea from but scotland isn’t all sheep and highlands and fairies and like little huts

yes we have that but we’re a really modern nation and wayyy to many people have a weird perception of scotland

my man is literally from like glasgow (his accent sounds glasgow but don’t quote me on that) he’s not a farmer or anything

we swear. a lot.

KILTS. not skirts, very common to wear in scotland to events like weddings, christenings, anything formal really.

cunt isn’t a horrible word i literally everyone a cunt, sometimes it’s used affectionately

misc.

if you’re gonna write about scottish politics i beg you research it. johnnys probably pro independence and an SNP voter. google it for context

we’re really loud. and we talk really fast. yes, other characters are gonna be confused af

irn bru !!!!!!!!! it’s a scottish drink and ive seen one person mention it and i just about cried i loved it

in scotland you can vote at 16 and join the army at 16 if that’s relevant to you

if you’re going to write about something you don’t know anything about, either do research or ask someone scottish (im more than happy to help!!)

please don’t take these as complaints or anything !! it’s just very very off putting to see people make massive misconceptions and conclusions about scotland! i love that we’re finally getting some hype. anyways ask about anything!! <3

[coryothesub]

Coryo from the academy being bullied by his classmates, the reader defends him, but with other intentions *wink, wink*

Oh dear anon this is an idea I didn't know I needed but I legit fell in love with it! This is also my first time writing Academy Coryo and I really enjoyed it, he’s just so innocent I can't... 

nsfw / mdni / academy!sub!coryo / academy!dom!reader

You were on your way to the library when you noticed a couple of girls taunting Coriolanus Snow in the hallway.

He was a year younger than you and you didn't know much about him except for the obvious fact that he was cute. And apparently he had some money problems because the whole conflict was about some extra food he had taken from the cafeteria for later.

“I knew it!” Valentia Frost looked upon him with an evil grin waving that goddamn sandwich in the air.

“Look at this little snob trying to act like he's one of us, but the Snows are actually a bunch of hungry beggars. So pathetic!”

Coriolanus stood by the wall completely frozen clutching at his textbooks. His face was flooded in red and you noticed tears welling up in his big blue eyes. He looked as if he was about to die from embarrassment and you suddenly felt sorry for him. Luckily you had the reputation of a menace after you had knocked out the biggest guy in your class when he tried to put a frog down your shirt.

“Leave him alone Valentia!” you shouted at her across the hallway. “The boy just wants to eat.”

“What are you his chaperone now?” The mean girl looked annoyed by your interference but she was also hesitant to push your buttons.

You approached her and stood dangerously close.

“Just fuck off!” You hissed and she reluctantly walked away, her clique following her immediately.

You grabbed Coryo by the hand and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.

“Here you can eat your sandwich in peace.”

“T-thank you,” he said quietly, still looking terrified and embarrassed.

You approached him slowly and he started stepping back until he was stopped by an empty desk, he felt it pressing against his rear end and started leaning back as he felt your hot breath mere centimeters from his face.

“Don’t rush to thank me yet. Do you really think I'm done with you already?”

“I-I don't have any money…” Coryo confessed, his face bright red with shame.

You almost couldn't believe how innocent he was. He literally thought you were gonna make him pay for protection as if you were some kind of mob boss.

“I don't need your money, blondie,” you cooed and let your hand wander under his uniform kilt touching him rather inappropriately.

Coryo's mouth flew open as he slowly started to realize what were your true intentions.

It looked like he was trying to say something but words weren't coming out of his mouth, he just stared at you, his big baby blue eyes wide with shock.

You kept palming him for a short moment, then stopped abruptly.

“Of course, I’m not gonna do anything you don't like.”

The loss of contact elicited a soft whine from Coryo's lips.

“No, no, please…” he suddenly regained the ability to speak.

“Please what?” You teased, it was so arousing to see him all bushy and ashamed like that.

“Please continue… I did enjoy that.”

You leaned even closer to him, your lips lingering just near his.

“Okay then,” you whispered, causing his breath to hitch.

You let your lips press against his in what turned into a gentle kiss. You thought of it as pretty chaste, but Coryo almost jumped when he felt your lips on his.

Could it be possible that he hadn't even made out with a girl? The thought alone caused wetness to pool up in your panties.

You gave him a flirtatious smile and started unbuttoning your uniform jacket and shirt, revealing that you were wearing a pristine white bra. Without hesitation you pulled your titties out of the lacy fabric making Coryo gasp at the sight.

“Do you like what you see, Coriolanus?”

“I-I think you can call me Coryo now,” the boy was barely able to get the words out.

“You have beautiful breasts. May I…?”

Instead of an answer you took his hands and placed them on your tits. Coryo started fondling them carefully, his thumbs circling around your nipples, which were getting hard under his touch.

Enjoying his warm and soft hands on your skin you unzipped your uniform pants and let them fall freely on your neat shoes, followed by your panties.

You sat Coryo on the side of the desk and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, then got his kilt out of the way and slowly lowered yourself on his bulge, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of your naked wet pussy pressing against the raw fabric.

Coryo watched your movements in awe, his eyes widening at the sight of your bare cunt landing just above his aching cock. He wanted to fuck you so badly but you had decided to leave that for later.

You knew his virgin cock wouldn't be able to take it for too long so you started rubbing your dripping cunt against his hard-on slowly grinding your hips back and forth.

Coryo let out a cute little whimper and you echoed it with a moan finally feeling a little relief for your aching pussy.

“So responsive, baby, so hard for me already,” you whispered against his lips before catching them in another kiss. Coryo kept making the cutest sounds that vibrated against your mouth as you kept rubbing yourself on him making circular movements to get some friction for your clit.

The blonde boy moved lower leaving a trail of soft warm kisses down your neck and wrapping his lips around your nipple. He sucked on your titties hungrily as you dug your fingers into his soft blonde curls and tugged on them gently feeling your climax slowly approaching.

You sped up your movements grinding yourself against his rock hard bulge with full intensity feeling your wetness overflowing and staining his red uniform pants. The friction felt so damn good that it brought you over the edge and you threw your head back moaning loudly as you came all over his clothed cock.

You grabbed Coryo's face and kissed him roughly feeling his whole body trembling as he came inside his pants. The boy's mouth fell open and you licked along his lips and tongue as he savored his orgasm, probably the most powerful he had experienced yet. 

After climbing off Coryo's lap you looked at him with a satisfied smirk. The boy's pants were completely messed up, both from his cum and yours, he sat there panting heavily, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He looked so pretty like that.

“Look at all the mess you made,” you mused. “Turns out you're a little whore, Coriolanus Snow.”

Coryo had no arguments to refute that. The shade of red filling his cheeks only got a bit deeper.

“Are we going to do this again?” He asked, looking at you curiously.

You smiled at him and adjusted his kilt, hiding the big wet stains on his pants.

“Of course darling, I’ve still got a lot to teach you after all.”

[auspicioustidings]

Please please PLEASE!

Please write soft Soap treating reader like a princess just like he promised after Savage! I am begging with my heart and soul! 🙏🏻😭

Sure thing!

CW: non-con (for context there is no sexual content in this but it is set after Savage so it's implied)

"Och I ken princess, I ken. Just need tae bear with it a wee bit more."

You were so sore everywhere. It felt like you had been chewed up and spat back out and you pretty much had. You must have passed out, but now you were waking up to a sharp stinging pain on the back of one of your thighs.

It took a moment to figure out what was happening. You were on a bed and you were clean. Naked. The man who had taken you was gingerly rubbing something in that was making that awful sting happen. You tried to shift away from his fingers but could only groan when that caused about 10 other parts of you to ache. He sucked in a hissing breath through his teeth.

"Oh bonnie, made a right mess of ye. Ye need tae let me put this on so it can get better. Got cut up, must have been when ye were on yer back."

When his foot had been on your chest holding you down while his men had pleasured themselves between your legs. You started crying softly remembering it, remembering how by the end you had been drooling and thanking him. How you had enjoyed it.

He finished what he was doing, smoothing a cream over the cut, before standing and picking up little bites of food from a plate on the table in the room. He was clean too, in a fresh kilt. You wondered when you saw his damp hair if he had been the one to bathe you. He seemed less threatening like this, more like a man.

"Please dinnae cry, I'm sorry. It's the way of war tae take ye like that, tae send a message. Got carried away when ye got all wet for me. Shouldnae have taken ye so rough like that. Naw going tae happen again princess, going tae bed you in furs nice and gentle next time."

He pressed the food gently to your lips and you blinked away tears as you ate it. He smiled at you achingly softly, feeding you and giving you little sips of water until you felt less like you were on death's door.

You didn't know how long he spent coaxing you to eat and drink but at some point the food was all gone and you felt full and sore and sleepy. He tucked your hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your forehead before taking off his kilt and climbing into bed behind you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, tense, ready for him to take you again and thinking you would not survive no matter how gentle he was, not with how sore you were. But he only gathered you in his arms, skin against skin with no hint of sex about him.

This could not be the same monster. Not with how softly he spoke words of gentle adoration into your ear, not with how he pulled the blankets over the two of you and held you lovingly in his arms as you began to drift off.

"Ye can call me John princess, not going tae let ye hurt like that ever again."