#just now i was having a horrible time not knowing why i was feeling so uncomfortable
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Haiii !! I'm obsessed with your blog. Do you have any tips for staying motivated? I wanna better my life and I have all the resources to do so. it's just motivation that's the problem 😓😓
surround yourself with inspiration.
for me, my friends are one of my biggest motivations—having people around who inspire and encourage you to grow is everything.
it’s not just about support; it’s about energy. being in a circle of people who push you, directly or indirectly, to be better is so important.
don’t lose sight of your goals.
always keep in mind what you’re working for, whether it’s an academic milestone or something personal. knowing your “why” makes the process so much easier.
when you have a clear picture of what you’re striving for, working hard feels purposeful instead of just tiring.
set HUGE goals, and then work backwards.
start with the biggest, boldest goal, then break it down into smaller, manageable steps that fill the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.
here’s what I mean: let’s say you’re in high school, and your ultimate goal is Cambridge.
you now → finishing an essay → getting a specific grade → finding balance → acing exams → writing your personal statement → Cambridge.
this is a very vague example, but the idea is to create a roadmap where every step feels doable—and every step brings you closer. you guys get my point hahaha
find balance to avoid burnout.
I’m a total workaholic, and spending time on things that don’t align with my main goals usually makes me feel horrible. but balance is non-negotiable.
for me, balance means baking with my friends, diving into hobbies that challenge me outside of academia, reading something complex but unrelated to my studies, or creating content like this to inspire others.
whatever it looks like for you, find something that lets you reset and recharge.
visualise, but don’t let it become procrastination.
I’m all for making Pinterest boards and visualising your dream life and I highly recommend doing it because it ties into the whole “don’t lose sight of your goals” idea.
BUT: overplanning can become its own trap. making endless lists, moodboards, or ideas without ever starting the actual work is just procrastination in a prettier outfit.
so yes, make your Pinterest board, set your goals, but don’t stop there. Start taking action, even if it’s just one small step today.
I hope this is helpful to you, and I wish you the very best on your journey, if you (or anyone else hahah) have more questions regarding this, just let me know, and we can dive into this topic a little deeper. <3
my insta @ malusokay
#malusokay#girl blogger#coquette#it girl#pink blog#that girl#askmalu#aesthetic#dream girl#pink pilates princess#motivation#get motivated#studyblr#study motivation#study blog#studyspo#student life#glow up journey#glow up tips#glow up#academia aesthetic#chaotic academia#dark academia#light academia#academics#university#student#classic academia#manifestation#gaslight gatekeep girlblog
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An analysis of Mastermind (the Song)
Now this is gonna focus primarily on Stolas's perspective throughout this whole song. Not that I think Blitzø or Satan's parts are less interesting they're just more straightforward than the rest of it and I don't think I can expound on them that much.
So first we have Stolas using societies already baked in prejudices against imps to immediately square away the idea that Blitzø could be to blame for the whole thing. And you'll notice that when he's doing this he's putting on the same persona that he used in Circus when he got Blitzø out of trouble with his security guards. The act of a haughty Prince that is taking responsibility for an imp. It's a bit of a go to for him.
Then he starts building up the idea of a Mastermind whose actually behind it all that just using Blitzø for nefarious purposes. I also want to point out the look on Ozzie's face here because it is expressing exactly what I was thinking when I first watched this which was " what the fuck are you going on about Stolas?"
But if you notice something that I'll talk about a bit more later he's not saying he's the Mastermind at this point. He's just talking about a vague Boogeyman esque mastermind here.
Then he goes on to detail what killing Blitzø like this would mean in Hell. First he's doubling down on how lowly he is, meaning he couldn't possibly have done it and that he is clearly just a scapegoat. Basically telling them that doing so won't solve anything. But then next he says that it would "light a fire in the hearts of his race" which as we see afterwards, it did. This whole song stoked massive support for Blitzø and if we remember resulted in the first time in history where an imp sentenced with death got away and survived.
Fuck it! I am the Mastermind. There is the briefest moment here where Stolas closes his eyes and thinks. Right before he says Fuck It. I don't think Stolas had fully cemented on the idea of taking the blame himself until this point. I think this is the point where he realized he can't back down from this, he can't just make up a Mastermind he has to be the Mastermind. I think he has this sort of as the plan the whole time but that he was also giving himself a bit of an out before by being vague. He could have said he was the Mastermind the entire song but this was the moment he started taking full ownership of the title.
I have no regrets/ I have regrets. Publically Stolas is saying that he has no regrets about the whole scheme that he used Blitzø for. But then we immediately go into private mode where Stolas is having some regrets and second thoughts about doing this. He says " why am I throwing my life away for this idiot?" He doesn't like doing this but he's going to anyway.
And he decides to do it because the alternative is Blitzø dying. And that is too horrible of a fate for him to bear. Stolas probably also feels actual responsibility for the whole situation because he made the deal to let Blitzø use the book knowing it was illegal. So if he can do anything to let Blitzø live, this is it and he's gotta do it. So then we get to
I am the Mastermind, the master of my faith. No looking back, we're doubling down. Full on. So much of Stolas arc as a character is culminating in this moment. For so long he has just been a puppet in other peoples plans. He has never been in charge of his own life but now he is the master behind his own decisions and steering his own fate. Even if it's at his own detriment. He sings about how much he loves Blitzø and death itself is the only thing that can break them. He is resolved to this fate and he's taking it head on.
There are so many fucking layers to this episode, it's a gift that keeps on giving. It's my favorite episode containing my favorite Helluva Boss song. I hope you enjoyed this attempt at a breakdown I did.
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#stolitz#blitzø#stolas#Mastermind#mastermind spoilers#song analysis
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cutely slides in the yap post about their Sans AU that was previously accidently posted and jumps out of a window 😊
I've posted some art of my kid, but haven't given their name(I did) or any other info. I will eventually make a proper info post on them, but for now...
this booger right here is Error Print Sans, or just Print Error (or Error Print)
an absolute feck ton of words under the cut that's me just throwing up my thoughts ⇓
they originally started out as a passing thought that was just Error!Sans but CMYK colors, which evolved into a whole different character who didn't even have anything CMYK going on and I forgot about them for around two or three years until I re-entered my Undertale/UTMV phase recently. seriously disliked the character and the direction I took them in so I decided to start from scratch, took the original CMYK concept, and Print Error was born
am still working out their lore. I have ideas for some events that led to their current state, though how they got into the Anti-Void or why their attire changed after becoming an error is still beyond me
I called them Print Error because inkjet printers use CMYK ink and they're an error (very creative ik) they also feel weird being called just Print but they don't know why
even though I made its design with the CMYK color model in mind, its more CMY than CMYK due to actually not having any black, the way its body works just makes it look like it has black↴
Print Error's being is composed of 3 overlapping color layers (cyan, magenta, yellow) that each depict how much of that magic they have. less saturated colors means less magic left, and running out of all three colors will leave Print Error in a mindless "no color" or "all white" state where they can't use any magic unless they absorb color through physical contact
the alignment of Print Error's layers reflect their mental state. more misaligned layers means more mentally unstable or intense Print Error's emotions. more aligned layers means Print Error is more "there" in their own chaotically fragmented way, but layers rarely ever align too closely...
Their body is not affected by lighting, which means they stick out like a sore thumb with their bright colors and vantablack bones (it's already hard enough to just make the effect, shading them would just be an absolute nightmare 😭)
Print Error's strings are much thicker than a typical error's and come from both its eyes and mouth. Print Error can additionally absorb CMY colors from objects/beings with its strings
Print Error's attacks (bones, gaster/printing error blaster blasts) come in cyan, magenta, and yellow, which all have their own properties, but Print Error can't control what color their attack will be half of the time
Print Error is cold to the touch but has thermoanesthesia, so it doesn't know its a walking ice cube. its confused why others react so weird when coming in physical contact with it
Print Error does not understand social cues and personal space. they're often in a chaotically playful mood, though not always
Print Error is morally grey and can't tell the difference between good and bad, everything is neutral to it... apart from mistakes
Print Error's thoughts are inconsistent, usually jumping from one topic to another, having multiple thoughts at once, or not having any thoughts at all. it usually "lives in the moment", often going with the flow
Print Error's fragmented mind kind of leaves them absent minded most of the time, getting easily distracted and forgetting things like it's nobody's business. though they can often hold their focus if they're intrigued by something
even with a horrible memory, Print Error can remember things at random, though often it's something that it was previously intrigued by, or just something completely random. either way its gonna forget not even 2 seconds later
Print Error deeply believes that any mistake, no matter how small, can be catastrophic, causing them to have a sort of perfectionist mindset. they try to avoid making any mistakes, and punish themself over any mistakes they do make (leaving out details)
if Print Error witnesses someone else make a mistake, there's a chance their mind might not register it, but more often than not, will get seriously exasperated at the person for making a mistake and might even crash out of frustration. not because of the mistake itself, but more so out of fear for the person, though Print Error doesn't recognize the feeling nor reason behind it
though they do heal quicker than usual, it's a double-edged sword as it subconsciously encourages Print Error's more self-destructive behavior
I originally had Print Error have excellent depth perception, until I thought of Print Error seeing everything in the same layered effect others see them in. definitely gonna explore that idea!
there are many more ideas I have for Print Error but I don't know how to "coherently" include them so those are gonna be revealed over time 😉
If anyone wants to ask anything about Print Error, feel free to ask! I would love to answer any questions about them and I got nothing but time!
been stressing over this post for like two weeks and I just set a deadline so I wouldn't tweak things till the heat death of the universe
was heavily inspired by @ossiethegreat's Static Hue/Error!Color post to make my own rant on my own kid, so there might be some similarities cuz I am oh so ✨️creative✨️. link to the post because I absolutely loved reading its ideas and I love Hue
I AM SO SORRY OZ IF YOU DID GET A NOTIFICATION FOR THE UNFINISHED VERSION OF THIS POST THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN I AM SO FRICKING SORRY 😭😭😭
I really tried to explain my thoughts and I feel like I failed in certain areas 😭 I struggle with explaining my ideas and especially the more in-depth ones, so some things might change if I find better ways to explain them
I definitely plan to share more of this gremlin, and especially if more than one person is interested in them!
also found some older drawings of Print Error I made previously but didn't share, so I'm sharing now because I don't think I would have shared these at any point in the future
also a lil lore one 👀 which I like but also don't like
#undertale au#undertale au oc#sans au#sans au oc#sans oc#utmv oc#utmv au#utau oc#utau au#undertale sans au#undertale sans oc#heck why not#ima create some tags for them too#Error Print Sans#Print Error Sans#Error!Print
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Sometimes I wonder if Cora survived would law still hate Doflamingo? Cause I feel he won’t at all
Like genuinely he didn’t do a lot wrong to Law personally expect killing Cora hmhmhmhm and law doesn’t seem like someone who would hate him just for being big bad flamingo like he do understand him quite well and they are VERY similar by mind set especially when law was a traumatized hateful kid , it is the detail that mentions specifically in canon that Law and Dofi nearly identical before Law changes thanks to Cora and pure love he showed to him
Law even state that he is not a hero or a savior , I do not feel like he care about Dressrosa for a second as a country, he is simply an avenger and tries to do right by Cora , to justify his death for him , to repay a debt he feels he owes Cora ( although deep inside I believe he knows that Cora would want him to have happy free from Dofi life and don’t find reasons to live only in vengeance but that’s another topic which was partly touched by granpa Sengoku in canon )
And I am absolutely sure Law do understand WHY Doflamingo killed Cora. He would kill a traitor too , without a second thought. He just happen to love and care for Cora more than justify and understand Dofi’s choice
Their conflict is not about morals it is about personal feelings
So he might hate him only if Cora maybe influence Law but at the same time I don’t have a feeling Cora hates Dofi either and especially I don’t think he would put any hate-like feeling on laws shoulders
Cause Law is a kid , who saw too much hate and blood and cruelty, Cora 100% knows another awful complicated feeling is not what that poor kid need after they escaped in a new free life ( if we assume they both survived and run away from Dofi )
Yes Cora does think Dofi needs to be stopped and put away but he doesn’t seem hateful towards him
He thinks Dofi is monster indeed and very much wrong but does he hate him?.. I don’t think so , cause Cora is a person who is deeply loving and caring to the point where it is hurting him
I do believe his attempt to stop Dofi is still a sign of love he has towards his brother , he does not want to see him doing whose horrible things, but he understands how much trauma both of them went through as children and that Dofi was awfully raised and awfully influenced later by creeps who praise him for being a monster
In my head at least
Cora doesn’t pull the trigger after all
P.S I just saw a lil post about au where Cora lived and there was a joke about Law waiting for Dofi to appear in necrology in newspaper , so I start to think about it and now this rant and this sketch exists lul
#art#sketch#drawing#small artist#one piece#one piece fanart#trafalgar law#donquixote doflamingo#one piece doflamingo#one piece rosinante#one piece donquixote doflamingo#trafalgar one piece#one piece art#one piece trafalgar law#one piece thoughts#headcanon#one piece headcanons#donquixote rosinante#donquixote corazon#donquixote brothers#trafalgardwaterlaw#sometimes I think about dressrosa too much honestly#especially about those three#I am just one weak person who craving a happy ending xdddd#FOR DOFI TOO#HE DESERVES IT I EVEN DONT KNOW WHY BUT HE DO
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alt au claggor x reader childhood friends to lovers maybe mylo convinces claggor to confess maybe spicy??? thank you ❤️❤️
>:3 made this feeling sick as heck but so proud of it🙏
Arcane Imagines- Claggor
Confessions Lead To…
⚠️WARNING🔞: SMUT [arcane] [main page] prompt: in which Mylo actually has good advice for Claggor, leading him to a wonderful night. (I made it modern college au, just little mentions of modern day things) containing: fem!receiving oral, missionary, riding, anvil position, unprotected sex, creampie, slight cockwarming.
“Just do it, she obviously has a thing for you too!” Mylo tells his brother, hanging from the top of his loft bed. Claggor was pacing back and forth. “I can’t! I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What if I make it weird?” He esperates, rubbing his hands through his hair dramatically.
“Dude, would [Name] do that? Honestly, answer me that.” The shorter one of the two asks with an annoyed expression laid on his face. “I mean, no but it could feel awkward between us and then I’ll look stupid.” Claggor frowns deeply.
He’s had a crush on you for months now, it’s only getting substantial. “Claggor, I can’t tell you what to do. But I am telling you if you don’t do it you’ll be a pussy.” Mylo points a finger down at the larger man who gives him a deadpanned look. “You were the same if not worse when it came to Gert!”
“Hey, at least I’m with her now. I shot my shot.” He defends himself, crossing his arms and looking up at the ceiling. Claggor sighs, knowing that his annoying brother is actually right.
“Ugh, I swear if I’m doing the wrong thing no one will see me for a while.” His shoulders drop in defeat, leaving his brother’s room to get ready to confess his long-time feelings. Mylo wasn’t paying attention, raising a brow when he noticed that Claggor left… ten minutes later.
•••
You hummed in your kitchen, finishing up some chores you wrote down to do for the day. You had the house to yourself since your roommate decided to go on a trip with her girlfriend.
You get a ring from your phone in your back pocket, wiping your sweat and you pull it out. Answering it without checking and putting it up to your ear. “Hello?” “Oh, hey [Name]! That was a quick answer.” Claggor chuckled on the other line. A smile erupts on your face.
“Hii, Claggs.” You threw your rag on the counter, leaning next to it. “Can I come over? For a little bit. If not, I understand.” He seemed extremely timid which caused you to tense up. “Um, of course! I’m just doing those chores I told you about but I could use a little break.” You happily say despite the horrible gut feeling you got.
“Awesome, see you in 5.” He hangs up the phone before you even get the chance to respond. You stare at the phone for a few moments, placing it beside the rag. You go to the bathroom to clean up a little bit, interrupted by the sound of your doorbell.
Claggor’s apartment was two floors down from yours so you’re not surprised he got here as quickly as he did. You go to the door, swinging it open. You move out of the way allowing him to enter. “Something wrong?” You scrunch your nose. “No, not at all. Why?” He asks with sweat forming on his forehead. “You seem a little off is all.” You shrug your shoulders. He heads to your bedroom, you behind him.
“What’s going on? You’re worrying me a little bit.” You mustered a meekly smile. “I’m sorry.” He sighs, drooping down on your bed. He comes over often so this is normal for the both of you. He was too embarrassed of Mylo so he deemed your place to be better to hang out if you guys weren’t going out.
“Is there something I should be worried about?” You hold yourself now. “I don’t know. I’m just going to come out and say it so prepare yourself I guess?” He avoids eye contact, his eyes wandering everywhere except at you. “I think I like you. Well I know I do. A lot. I have for a few months now. I didn’t know how to stop them and when I tried it made it worse.” He explains leaving you in shock, this being the last thing you were expecting from Claggor.
“I feel like a child, giddy whenever the smallest thing happens between us. It’s truly pathetic.” He laughs at himself, your lips twitching upwards. “It’s not pathetic.” You tell him.
“I’m the same way when I like someone.” You sit next to him on the bed, grabbing his hand. “When I like you I should say.” You watch his face blush a bright pink. “You feel the same?”
“Yeah, I have for a little bit now.” You nod your head, keeping his hand folded with your own. “That’s crazy to me. How could someone like you give me such the honor of liking me.” He whispers it was mainly to himself but you heard. You rolled your eyes playfully, grabbing his face with your other hand. “You’re so dumb. You’re perfect for me.” You coo, slowly leaning forward. His eyes widen but he follows your lead.
Your lips locking, the warm, soft feeling on one another. You deepen it by getting on your knees and unlocking only a few times to go back for more.
Swapping saliva as your tongues tease each other. His hands travel to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Your plush thighs on either side, straddling him. “Hmph.” He breathes roughly after you nibble at his bottom lip. You go to apologize but he does it back. Making it fair.
You grin into the make-out, grabbing onto him as you attempt to pull him even closer to your body.
Your hips subconsciously roll back and forth across his crotch. His lap tenses at the motion but he doesn’t stop you. His arm is latched around your waist as the other is keeping himself along with you propped up.
The further into the make out the more blood progresses to his boner. It’s now prominent enough for you to feel against your area.
Arousing you both to a degree you’ve never felt before. The wetness of your juices soaking through your clothes. He swore he could feel your cunt spasm on him. He loved it.
He wanted to feel more. With the arm that was around your waist he pushed you down gently enough you couldn’t even tell what he was doing. You moaned in his mouth at the pressure.
Your head was beginning to feel dizzy at the lack of oxygen you were taking in from being too excited to breathe. You had to pull away from him to catch your breath. His chuckles at the sight of your flushed out face, lips plumped out even more, your hair slightly a mess. You were beautiful.
“I need more.” You huffed out, lifting your hips up only to plop back down upon him. He gasps from the movement. “Yeah?” He asks with hooded eyelids, giving your body a once over as he leans back. “Mhm.” You nod your head and then all of a sudden your back was against the bed as Claggor was in between your legs. You squealed out, laughing.
“I don’t have condoms on me.” He suddenly remembers, he goes to get up but you grab the hem of his shirt to stop him. “I’m on birth control.” You say, legs wrapping around his thighs since his waist wasn’t close to you anymore. He smiles eagerly, passionately kissing you.
“Such a pretty girl.” He mutters in your mouth, pulling back. He takes his shirt off and you admire his body as he does so. He had muscle that showed but also such a soft adorned tone. You were obsessed.
And if you weren’t wet before, you definitely were now. You followed suit though, throwing your shirt and bra over your head, throwing it to the ground.
His eyes glued to your chest, a little too long in your opinion as you grew self-conscious. Covering yourself without realizing it. He takes your wrists, pulling them to your sides. “You’re too beautiful to be doing that.” He shakes his head. His hand touches your face, digits trailing down from your jaw to your neck… Lower now as he dances around your nipples before lightly pinching them. You whimper at the feeling causing him to smirk. “They’re sensitive?” He tilts his head and you quietly nod your head.
He chuckles, now doing the same with the other one just to hear the little noises that exit your mouth.
He innately rubs his crotch against yours, pushing up against you. You rut your hips up to meet him, wanting more.
“Please, I want to feel you.” Your hands go to his shoulders, lightly prodding him away. “Alright, I guess I had my fun.” He sighs jokingly, he moves back a bit, repositioning lower on the bed. Once he gets comfortable laying on his stomach, face to face with your clothed pussy his fingers find the top of your shorts. He toys with you, heavily breathing at your core. You wanted to squish your legs together so he’d stop but you resisted. Finally after what felt like minutes to you he tugs your shorts and panties off of you.
“I made you this drenched?” He satirizes, you frown, looking away from him. He snickers at your shy response. His pointer and middle finger pull your lips apart to get an even better view. It caught you off guard from the sudden coldness at your pussy. You gulped down your own saliva that built in your mouth.
Claggor glances up at you as his own mouth watered. Impatient to taste you. His best friend that he had just confessed to. His best friend that likes him in return. He was so worried that you wouldn’t like him and now here you are letting him eat you out.
His tongue lays down flat in between your nub and entrance. His top lip above your clit. You felt his teeth rub against you and you wince in pleasure. And as his muzzle moves, so do you. You felt your body squirm as his movements were intense but so so so satisfactory.
He somehow was paying attention to your clit and your achy hole at the same time. And to be honest he didn’t have a technique he just wanted to taste all your juices.
His tongue slid into your hole for its last time before attaching your nub once again, this time it was for longer. His tongue swiped left and right to up and down. Writing his name at one point and then yours. He felt your thighs closing against his head and your body tensing up.
“H-hah- holy shit, Clag… I’m gonna-” You breathed rapidly, grabbing hold of his short hair and practically yanking at it. He groans in slight pain but keeps his focus on you, only going faster. Your torso trembling upwards. “I’m- I’m cumminngh-guhhh!” You wail, accidentally pushing your hand down on his head, keeping him in place against your pussy.
He doesn’t mind, he feels you twitch on his mouth. All your delicious sap flowing onto his tongue. Your hips rolling throughout your high.
And as it was over all you could do was lay there, letting him go. It was one of your most intense orgasms you’ve had in a while. “Thank you.” He whispers as he gets up to kiss you. “I should be thanking you.” You pant out, his small hands wandering around his torso.
“Mm agree to disagree.” He shrugs, pecking you once more. As his torso goes up your hands slide down back to the bed. He plays with his belt buckle, undoing it. Claggor gets off the bed, letting his pants fall. You eye his boxers that clung to his skin. The noticeable bulge that stuck out. You were ready yet again.
Your own fingers go to your clit, it was now delicate to the touch but you still rubbed it slowly. When he sees you touching yourself he feels his cock jump in its barriers. “Restless so soon?” He beams.
“I need you inside me.” You mewl, spreading your legs even further than before. And just at your movements his boxers were being kicked off his feet. You giggle as he climbs back on the bed. Your eyes stuck on his large member though.
You figured he would be blessed but… blessed was definitely an understatement. You now worried if it would even fit inside you.
“Gosh, you’re too gorgeous for your own good.” He clamps his hand on your jaw, squishing your cheeks making your lips puckered out before he kisses you. As he leaned over his dick laid on your tummy.
“You ready for me?” He quizzes your jaw still captured in his hold. “Yesh, scared ‘s too big thoughh.” You muttered through your squeezed cheeks. He snorts, not expecting that answer. “I promise it will fit. I’ll go slow.” He kisses you again before letting you go.
Your eyes observe as he pumps his dick with his hand with his own spit. His mushroom tip slipping through your folds, hitting your clit a few times. “Are you sure you want this?” He looks you in your eyes. You smile at his question for consent, double checking even though you’ve already came once and pleaded for his cock. “I want this more than anything.” Your hand wraps around his wrist, helping him proceed into you.
He hisses at the feeling of your gummy walls just being around his tip that leaked precum. Your chest heaved up and down with anticipation. “Keep going.” You encouraged with a nod of your head. He listens to your words, inching more and more inside.
As he bottomed out you clamped around him, flinching at the string that you felt at first. Your face contorting slightly. “Are you okay?” His hand caresses your cheek. “Yes, one second though.” You stuck your pointer finger up, you swore you felt every crevice of his cock. He was huge.
“Okay, okay…” You shiver out. “Start moving.”
His hips move away before clicking right back. Your mouth opens at the feeling. Now keeping a steady pace. He grips at your waist, hearing your moans make him want to cum at the spot. Only being in your pussy for two minutes.
“H-harder.” You claw him, trying to keep him as close as possible. Seeing this along with hearing your words his hands lift up your thighs around his shoulders and he presses down closer to you. Now in an anvil position. “Ohmygod!” You shriek, feeling him deeper than he was before. He fucks into you at a harder, faster pace.
Your mouth letting babbles come out, words mashed together and not making any sort of sense. Claggor grunts in your ear each time his skin slaps against yours. Your toes curling above his head.
“Fu-uck meee~” You cry, throwing your head back against the bed. The exhilaration, the adrenaline, the sex of it all filling Claggor’s mind to keep going. Hear your voice lighting a fire in his brain. No other thoughts.
“Gonna cum soon, princess.” His thrusts grow sloppier. “Wa-wait! St… stop!” You cry out, his pelvis immediately hitting a halt against you at your singular word. “What? What happened? You okay? Did I hurt you?” He asks, forgetting what he had just said.
You pause for a moment, taking a quick breather. “I um…” You puff, “want to ride you.” You tell him, propping yourself up on your elbows. He lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding at your words. “Oh okay.” He grasps at his heart, calming down. “What?” You furrow your brows confused.
“I mean, I’d love for you too but you scared me.” He slowly slides out of you, your pussy now clenching around nothing.
“The way you said stop… I don’t know. I blanked.” He rubs the back of his sweaty neck. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t exactly get my words out.” You nervously laughed, reminding him of what he was just doing to you. His cheeks blush brighter, not because of embarrassment but because it made him a little proud of himself for pleasuring you so well. That’s all that mattered to him.
You got up to your knees and you led him to sit down by the headboard. His back against the thousands of pillows you have on your bed. “Comfy?” You ask him with a closed eyed smile. He snickers, tugging at your waist to pull you closer to himself. “C’mere.” Was all he said.
You climb back onto his lap. His torso was leaned back so you had a good advantage when riding him. Your feet planted on either side of his hips. Your hands held onto his shoulders as you now stood over his dick. Your lick your lips, practically drooling at the sight. “Help me?” You glance up through your lashes. He smiles, using his left hand to keep his member up for you.
You lower yourself down on him, excited to be filled back up. As your ass fully goes against his thighs you go back up then right back down all in slow movements. He watches as your pussy sucks him in each time again and again.
Then you get bored of yourself, going faster, bouncing on him. Your tits are right in his vision. His hand grabs at both of them as his other is laid on his own stomach, keeping it to himself.
“Too good, ‘s good.” You moan out, gripping his shoulders with each bounce.
The stinging in your thighs were slightly bothering you but you had to keep going. One of your hands that held his shoulders went down to your clit. You rubbed it intensely. “Fuck!” You whisper out, he can tell you’re getting tired fast. He holds onto your hips, helping you go up and down.
Still admiring the way you focus on getting to your release. And all he wants to do is help you get there. “Get on your knees.” He taps against your hips with his pointer finger. “Hu-huh?” You look at him confused. “Just do it.”
You let your feet slide backwards so you were now back on your knees. “There you go, more comfortable?” He asks sincerely. You only nod your head, not rolling your hips on him. He lifts his hips up and slides his body down so it would be more comfortable for him.
You fuck yourself on him. “Ooh, I’m close.” Your voice rings out, Claggor hums in response, feeling his own orgasm coming. “Me too, where do you want me?” He asks, just so he knows before he cums. “Inside, don’t worry.” You pant.
“A-ah, cumming!’ Your nails accidentally dig into his biceps as you feel your release. The pain only brings him over the edge, his jaw slacking as his seed spurts inside you.
You feel the warmness spread within you. Feeling his cock soften inside. You kiss at his chest before laying down on him. Keeping him in place with his dick still stuck within those fluttered walls.
“Fucking hell, Claggor.” You spit out, his arms wrap around you. “You were amazing.” He mumbles. “No, you were.” You lift your head up at him. “That was insane!” You exclaim, accidentally jolting your hips causing him to hiss at the sensitive feeling. “Sorry.” You chuckle.
“It’s okay.” He waves it off. He goes to help you get up but you stop him. “I want to stay like this for a little bit.” You tell him with a heated face. He raises a brow.
“I was hoping for round 2… But I want to feel you grow inside me.” You quietly admit to him. Now it was his turn for his face to heat up.
Flushing as he now replays everything the two of you just did. And you get exactly what you wanted.
#arcane smut#arcane meta#arcane league of legends#arcane spoilers#arcane x reader#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#claggor smut#claggor x reader#claggor arcane#claggor#arcane claggor#mylo and claggor#mylo#mylo arcane#au#x reader#x fem reader#x female reader#arcane x female reader#x fem!reader#x female y/n#x you smut#smut#mlw smut#reader insert#claggor x you
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My take on Blitz's intimacy issues and why everything that's happening now with Stolas just plays into them even more (the essay):
Okay before you get mad at me, I love this development for Stolas, it makes perfect sense for his storyline to live as a regular demon and see the class system first hand, and understand how he was part of it. also the fact that basically everyone predicted this is an indicator for me that this is the right way to go, since it makes the most sense for the story. But this post is going to be about Blitz so there we go:
The one thing that bugged me for a while since realizing this is the direction the story is going to take is the fact that Blitz will not have the chance to get over his inferiority complex.
We see throughout the show that Blitz actually doesn't have a problem loving people who are equal or "beneath" him in status. He loves Moxxie and Millie, he loves Loona, he loves Fizz (i know Fizz is more successful but he's still an imp, and someone Blitz has known since he was young and vulnerable). The way I see it he's fine as long as he sees himself as useful to them, as the protector and provider. He employs the M&Ms and Loona, he even adopted Loona, putting himself in a position of superiority and responsibility, and them in a position of dependency on him.
He is also VERY protective with the ones he loves. I always see posts about how sweet it is, for example how he protected Fizz when they were kidnapped, how he put himself between him and any potential danger, and that kind of behavior is shown all the time in the show. And while sweet, it's also his comfort zone. As long as he can be the one protecting them, the one in charge, he's okay with their relationship.
One of the reasons he's so uncomfortable with his and Stolas's power dynamic is that he doesn't see where he can fit into his life. Stolas doesn't really need his protection, he knows Stolas is basically playing out a fantasy when he asks him to bodyguard. He's very dismissive when Stolas is in real trouble, since he's so powerful, so Blitz can't possibly be of any use. It makes him feel belittled to have his weaknesses in comparison to Stolas thrown in his face.
He is maybe impressed (and turned on) when Stolas saves him from DHORKS but he's also uncomfortable, because he doesn't like to be on that side of things.
We only see him warming up to Stolas when Stolas appears weak. When Stolas is very sad over Blitz, Blitz suddenly gets more invested. Because even if physically he's still so strong, maybe mentally Blitz can be his protector, and Stolas might be dependent on him, which is what Blitz seeks in relationships.
I think it's very natural but also a bit toxic (not in a "he's horrible" kind of way, but in an "interesting for the narrative" kind of way). Blitz needs this dependency to feel comfortable in a relationship, because then he's needed, and then he's not going to be left behind.
I think the same thing probably happened with Verosika. She's more successful, she has a higher status, she doesn't need him. But she wants him, and that's not enough, because wanting can change. He can screw up her wanting him, since he doesn't believe someone can love him genuinely, but someone less fortunate (like the M&M's, like Loona) will always need him. And even though Fizz for example is a lot more successful, Blitz can still somehow find his place with him as his protector, it's still a position he's comfortable enough with.
Now if we look at stolitz again, Blitz is suddenly very willing to be openly affectionate with Stolas. Yes, it probably also has to do with the fact that he had time to think about it, he came to the realization that he actually did like Stolas and all that, but still, I'm pretty sure Blitz's sudden willingness to take Stolas in, the sudden gentleness and adoration, has something to do with the fact that Blitz, deep down, is pretty happy with the turn of events. Taking care of a wounded bird that has nowhere else to turn to, that need Blitz to protect him and provide for him? Sign him right up.
Now Stolas is obviously weaker than him, hated, in need, it's very easy for Blitz to be his hero (doesn't help that Stolas basically shoved his own "knight in shining armor" fantasy down Blitz's throat their whole relationship). They are not forming a relationship now as equals, they just switched the roles, and Blitz is a lot more comfortable like this.
Now I don't actually have a problem with this since I think it's interesting, but I do hope it'll be addressed. Like if Stolas gets his power and status back, will Blitz be able to handle it? Will he put up walls again? Will he feel tossed aside since when Stolas is powerful, he doesn't need him, so how possibly can he want him?
Part of me wishes they didn't take the "easy" route for Blitz's character. That they let him learn how to be loved even when he's not necessarily needed for survival. But we still have 2 more seasons to go, so I'm optimistic!
Anyway this is my essay on this subject lol, I know it's super long but I would love to read more takes on this so tell me what you think!
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#i mean not really#but maybe a little#stolitz#blitzø#blitz#character analysis
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Hello, hope you are doing well
I just read your child of divorce fic for the 100th time (i love it so so much) and i had a funny idea for the future, when the marc-cheating-allegations aren't new anymore and i'd love to hear your thoughts on this
So picture this: there is an interview or a podcast or whatever and some messy rider or journalist/interviewer/whatever is like "yeah maybe who knows, maybe rossi is self projecting with all the accusations of infidelity because HE is the one that cheated and tries to cover it up by throwing mud at his ex bc he can't handle the fact that the he ruined such a beautiful thing and that it is his fault alone, just like he can't handel the fact that 2015 was all his fault and needs a scapegoat that isn't him and Marc is too nice to ruin his reputation bc he still loves him?
Oh anon, my love! That was wonderful. I laughed so hard when I read this.
You definitely nailed it! (pls if you ever have another idea feel free to sent it!) That so happened!
I will definitely write a snippet about that (I'm hoping you're okay with that cause... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) but I can't 100% promise that it's going to be in the main story.
But it sounds very real. After a consolation with @calia23 we agreed that it was definitely Casey who dropped that. Our little Australian hater would NEVER accept Vale talking like that about his own kid. He is giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Like imagine Casey metaphorically slowly sitting down infront of a mic like "Okay... My fucking turn" and then he just spills that because why is cheating the first thing on Vale's mind? Rossi? Wanna tell us something?
And OOOOH the conspiracies that would follow - everyone is reviewing the 2015 materials to figure out who the possible mistress of rossi was (he denies it btw but nothing else was expected) and the rumors about David's possible real father resurface.
Now if we put this in 2017/18, David would be around 4-5 years old, so he'd be more conscious about what's happening. So imagine he's overhearing his grandparents or his uncles talking with his papa about that. He's hearing them say that his father (Vale) might betrayed his papa. But his papa is denying it all.
And he just doesn't know what to believe. He was told his father had listened to bad people who didn't had the best in mind for him and he fell for it. That's why he left. But he had always loved David. He was just currently being too stupid to see it. Like Marc had always been civil since he doesn't want David to grow up with resentment. But now they are suddenly openly talking about real betray?
A part of David's view definitely shatters. Like it's maybe the first time the golden view of his father really takes a blow. Of course he heard his grandparents curse Vale but Marc had always had a good explanation why they were wrong. And his papa always talks so lovingly about his father and sometimes even shows him pictures about their time. There is still a picture if Vale and Marc holding baby David on a shelf. But now there was no explanation for David. So he thinks there's no excuse, no explanation. He never asks. He's too afraid to get the confirmation from his papa that it's true.
The discussion about Vale were never done in secret too. Alex was more careful about his words but still... And now suddenly they are discussing the betray in silence? In secret? And in the Marquez house, there are no secret. So does that mean that there is some truth in the words? That's why David is kept away from it all and isn't supposed to know?
I can imagine David being very confused about his families behavior. Maybe he somehow hears about the accusation but he's too young to really understand them. He doesn't understand how deep the accusations actually run. He just understands that his father apparently broke his papa's trust in a horrible way.
And mind you, David is a child. He's taught to never lie and never hurt anyone. He is never allowed to break someone's trust, so he understands that this is bad.
Honestly I can't see Marc honestly believing the rumors. Like, at least at the till mid 2015/ Sepang 2015 they were a happy loving family, Vale very much involved and completly in love with Marc. So an affair seems too out of character. And Marc tries to be a good example for David (unlike Vale) so he doesn't want to participate in that mudd war Vale started.
Okay so those are just own quick thoughts on the matter. I hoped you like it and pls, anon - or literally anyone - what do you think?
And OMG I am so happy you like the AU so far that means SOOOOO much to me :)
#motogp#marc marquez#valentino rossi#david alonso#motogp rpf#Child of divorce AU#I feel like those are just some messy thoughts but thats literally how most of my writing thoughts are written#If it's not an excevt scene in my head#Hi anon#I REALLY hope you like it#I thought I play a little witb Davids reaction#But I have some thoughts on Vale's and Marc's reaction too#Hehe....
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So, my question is; What the hell is Satella doing during all of this? The way things are going I'd expect her decimate the entire planet. And how is she feeling during everything?
Now, personally if I were in her shoes I'd snatch up Subaru right there and then cuz' even if everyone has their reasons and believe what they're is for Subaru's own good. This plan of theirs is completely and utterly stupid!
I understand the whole Emilia and Julius situation but couldn't Emilia have tried a gentler approach to this?
Honestly this just proves that none of them deserved Subaru and I get the feeling they feel that way themselves.
Keep up the great work!
Well — what was Satella doing during the whole White Whale Incident, or the Wolgarm situation, or the Great Rabbit attack? What was she doing when he killed himself to save other people, or was getting tortured in the woods by Rem for hours on end, or slowly bleeding out to Elsa? What was she doing in Ayamatsu, Oboreru, Kasaneru, Tsugihagu? If she didn’t interfere in any of those really, REALLY horrible situations — why would everyone seemingly being a dick to Subaru out of nowhere suddenly cross a line?
We don’t know the exact nature of Satella’s interference yet but — what I’m going with is that she will not interfere unless Subaru actively attempts to break his taboo. Everyone else suddenly knowing comes CLOSE, but considering that Roswaal figured half of it out and was fine, I’m gonna say that the only way Satella can actively attack anyone is if Subaru goes out of his way to try and intentionally reveal RBD to a third party. Which means she’s kinda just. Watching all of this go down.
(She also does not know what the hell is happening btw. She didn’t go back in time either, so she’s just kinda like “The minute Subaru gets somewhere safe I’m resetting his checkpoint so that he’s away from all of these people.” It’s all she can really do from her angle rn.)
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I'm straight up frothing in the mouth for these
🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
🧜♂️🧜♂️🧜♂️🧜♂️🧜♂️
⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️
YAY! That makes me so happy.
36 for 🌲:
---
“That was more about you than me, so…”
“Don’t do this,” Eddie sighs.
“Do what?” Buck demands.
“This thing you do, where you only acknowledge other people’s problems, like your own feelings aren’t important,” Eddie says.
Buck sighs. “Sometimes I make everything about me, sometimes I don’t make enough about me. Can’t win with you.”
Eddie scowls at him. “You’re deflecting.”
Another sigh.
“Eddie, really. I’m okay. Is the hearing stuff a lot right now? Obviously, yeah. Am I crushed about Tommy? I mean… He already reacted like shit to my hearing loss, so… I don’t know. I think I’m mostly just pissed you were hurt.”
“I’m okay,” Eddie says. It’s a lie. He’s not okay. But that’s not exactly Tommy’s fault, is it? “I mean, I did that to him, right? If your research is right.”
Buck looks torn.
“Look,” he exhales. “I don’t know how much agency Tommy had in what he did. But I know you had none, right?”
“I mean… I shouldn’t have let him in.”
Buck scoffs. “You should be able to open your door to a friend without worrying about that happening.”
“Except apparently not,” Eddie says. “Because apparently this is what I am.”
---
15 for 🧜♂️:
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So Eddie tries to figure it out.
“So you’re from Pennsylvania,” Eddie says, when they leave Maddie’s apartment. A fact he didn’t know until the two of them mentioned Hershey in conversation.
“Yeah,” Buck nods. “We are.”
“Why did you leave?” Eddie asks.
“Uh…” Buck trails off a little. “Just… Well, I just had to get out. Get away from my parents. Figure out who I am.”
Okay, yeah. All the pieces are fitting together pretty well.
“That’s hard to do, if you don’t have the right support system,” Eddie nods.
---
27 for ⚖️:
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How horrible. To need this.
“Yeah, this is just a random coupon,” Lawrence says when Buck finds himself back in reality.
“Oh, man. Sorry,” Buck says. “My bad. Guess I should’ve taken a closer look.”
Lawrence looks annoyed.
“Guess there isn’t much reading involved in putting out fires,” he grumbles.
Buck forces a smile, resisting the urge to make a comeback about how much time to read he will have once in jail.
“Guess not,” he replies tightly. “Bye, Larry.”
“It’s Lawrence,” he grits back.
“Right. Right,” Buck shrugs. “See you around.”
Or on the news. Whichever.
⚖️
Back in his apartment, Buck paces. He has a pretty significant dilemma on his hands. Beyond just the Nemesis thing as a whole. It fucking sucks in general, but more specifically, it sucks because of what he knows it means about Tommy.
He doesn’t have to do anything about it right this minute. The job is not to track down people and distribute justice. That’s Nemesis’ job. To look for the really bad ones.
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It's word vomit time because I can't help myself when it comes to this franchise and particularly when it comes to Solas. Even some old blogs that I really enjoyed the analysis from I had to unfollow because it seems that all that's being taken from the game is "Solas did everything bad in history ever but actually it was also Mythal" and going wildly between completely absolving Solas of all responsibility because "Mythal made him" or "Solas is actually the root of everything wrong in the world". That they're just two dimensional cartoon villains.
Which???? That's not what Veilguard was showing us!!
Much longer rambling under the cut but the tl;dr is Veilguard showed us the build up and exposed just how high the stakes are and just how deep Solas's regrets are as he tries to wade through the mess he was born into. We got just crumbs in Inquisition/Trespasser and Veilguard just handed us the whole loaf. Looking at this as them saying he's just an uber villain is y'all eating the crust and being pissed about how crusty it is. Dig down to the fluffy center!!! He says time and time again that he's not a god, he's just a man that made mistakes. He's a man burdened by war and when all you have are horrible choices he tried to pick the least bad of them. It just added layers and reaffirmed that in war, there are no good choices. There's survival. You can't apply black and white morals to war; it's messy as fuck and there's no good choices. Veilguard exposed the motivations of a broken man drowning in guilt and showed us how he got there. It pulled back the layers like an onion and exposed the heart in glaring light; it added so much nuance and so many layers to Solas and his motivations and actions.
The cut hides me just rambling and breaking this down further, be aware it's a wall.
First off; the first elves were spirits. We've learned time and time again that spirits don't think the same as humans. Especially when speaking to Emmrich about Manfred and his rambling included teaching Manfred morals. Human morals. You can't really apply human morals to ancient immortal creatures that decided to fashion bodies for themselves cause they thought it looked fun and was new and novel. They probably didn't think ahead to the future where the creatures they struck down might be upset. They don't care; it's a rock to them. Why should they care? They're spirits mucking about in this new world and having a ball. They didn't stop to think about the consequences of it.
Which brings me to the second thing we got reaffirmed; THERE WAS WAR. Even now we live in war times. War is fucking scary. War changes people. We have so much media from survivors trying to express how terrifying war is and share that with people that haven't been through it. (LOTR I'm looking very pointedly at you and waving you around.) The first war was the Titans striking back at the Elvhen for what they had done. (Very justified.) This is when Mythal pleads with Solas to give up his very much loved form and Fade to help her. As they were originally spirits and are effectively immortal, they would have probably a.) felt emotions far more deeply and richly (if more narrowly/with less range) than modern mortals and b.) their morals are probably very different considering they're new to physical bodies and their own growing complexity instead of remaining as more simple spirits and c.) it's clear he feels at least some sort of trust and devotion to Mythal in a fashion we can't really grasp. (The writers confirm that a romanced Lavellan is the first time he's fallen in love so we know that's not what he has for Mythal. But devotion and service? Those are still powerful.) Anyway, that war is wrapped up decisively in one fell stroke thanks to Mythal again making use of Solas's wisdom to craft the dagger that would sunder the Titans. (Even though she, herself, apparently doesn't even do the final blow she again has Solas do it with the weapon he crafted. In the art book, it shows him trapping their dreams in a small black cube and he himself bringing that prison cube back. This is probably why he becomes known as her lapdog/attack dog.) War over, their people are safe. Oooooo elves are just so evil. Except. What were the alternatives? Continue hunting and killing the Titans until they're all truly dead? Would the dwarves have survived this or would they have died with their creators? How would this affect the physical world if the "pillars" are struck down wholesale? The elves can't just fuck off back to the Fade anymore, they have physical bodies crafted from this world now. They're no longer spirits. Do they all just roll over and die? It's in your nature to survive no matter what and this fundamental truth means there would be no peace between the elves and titans, even if the elves stopped their colonizing bullshit. Instead, they were sundered from the fade and left in comas alive. The dwarves were sundered from the titans and each other, but they also lived on. It was a terrible choice when all there were were terrible choices. There were no good choices. The elves sacrificed the titans for their own peace and their war with their world ended.
The second war was the newly named Evanuris against the Forgotten Ones for not helping the Elvhen in the war with the Titans. This is when the elves would have been fearful and already fallen in behind the strongest of them in want of protection. The fight of "those that protected us" vs "those that abandoned us". It just set the stage for more intensely divided elves, more intensely dependent elves. The Evanuris were powerful enough to protect them and end the war with the Titans, they would be powerful enough to protect them and end the war with the Forgotten Ones. (In Bellara's quest, we learn that at least one of them crafted an army of demons to fight for him.) We also learn through Solas's memories that the Evanuris aren't above propaganda and lies; they slaughtered their own people and claimed the Dread Wolf did all of it. This was a war of vengeance, plain and simple, prettied up as good gods vs evil gods. Even the later legends paints it as the good Creator gods vs the evil Forgotten Ones.
After that, the war focus shifts to Fen'harel and his "rebellion". The game shows us that after their war with the Forgotten Ones, Elgar'nan decides they deserve to be gods. Why not? They're already incredibly powerful and rule as kings/queens. Why not be gods? Their people already serve them in body, lets just amp that up to in spirit and in mind. They're marked in blood writing to show who owns them. Just take their minds and have their total obedience, love, and devotion. It's what they deserve after all being so powerful and cool! (Sarcasm in case you miss it.)
Solas pushed back at every opportunity. He started with letters and moved on to freeing their slaves and moving against them period. He was making such progress against them they got desperate and delved into the Titan's prison, using it as power. "They were blind to the horrors." They didn't realize how horrible this new power was because they were already corrupted. He begged Mythal to stop them and they instead murdered her with her own dagger/the weapon Solas crafted for her. To save the living world, he had to imprison them and the Blight away. The Veil locking away all of the Fade was a mistake on his part; considering the power of the magic he was casting, kinda understandable.
We can see, through his own memories, how he changes through this time. Where he begins to make more and more "acceptable sacrifices". Where he cuts problems off entirely instead of taking the time and risk to try and save people. The greater good is what drives him and he can't risk getting caught up in the small details. Like individual lives compared to all the lives they're working to save. Like the trolley problem but more extreme; does he let this person die, or does he let them carry their infection out to kill untold people? Does he ask these spirits to die doing what they love making the distraction or does he have their very limited bodied forces serve as the diversion and die instead?
The memories we play through in the Crossroads and hear through the murals aren't painting him and/or Mythal as the worst villains ever. They're not simplifying their motives or actions. I mean, they're not even justifying their actions either. They fucked up, they did wrong, but they fucking survived and tried to do so with the least casualties possible. The writers are handing us the story, colored only by Solas's feelings/memories. No longer are they colored by the personal biases and limited perceptions of the unreliable narrators like the rest of the game lore and history that has been given to us. These were practically straight from the source! And instead of it being given to us through the distorted lens of other characters, y'all get to distort it all yourself. :)
I had a good conversation with @hyperions-light in the comment section of this post where they also pointed out that the meetings show us just as clearly how this is happening in real time.
The game showed us, IN REAL TIME, how being presented pretty straightforward information is filtered by each person based on their own life's perceptions and biases and their own motivations.
I'm sorry y'all walked away from all that with the most basic surface level understanding colored in black and white.
The whole fucking thing was heartbreaking. What Solas has been through, the situations he was in both of his making and out of his control, were terrible. He did his best but it still wasn't good. Veilguard didn't cheapen what he did or what he went through; it added layers and honestly made it more tragic. He was born into war and desperately fought his whole life like he was the only one standing between his people and total annihilation. You can't live thousands of years like that and not fuck some shit up. I'm also not above that and I don't think any person would be. I'm in my 30s and have fucked plenty of stuff up; gimme a few thousand years and multiple wars and I probably also would have committed war crimes trying to save my people.
Every time I see a new post complaining that Veilguard reduced Solas and Mythal to cartoon villains that did everything wrong, I want to start biting.
#veilguard spoilers#batty is rambling#this is long as fuck#but i'm to the point of biting people for bad takes
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)
apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this
i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either
are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all
something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)
given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??
are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )
(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#idk if others feel like that too but i cant shake the feeling there was something that either went horribly wrong during development-#-or the entire thing was neglected the whole time which is why its so .. i hesitate to even call it bare bones#...which is WILD given that its the supposed sequel to their best seeling zela game#like wtf where you doing#i get that the pressure can be immense but imo it wasnt that hard to make a sequel to thats better than totk#like i think it was harder to make totk like it is NOW bc it scraps and throws away so many things you could have easily used-#-as sequel material#its all so weird to me#my tin foil hat theory is still that they saw the success of the mario movie and immediately shifted everything to make more movies#bc it made so much money#and a movie is easier to make than a good game#so totk or botw2 at the time got the short end of the stick#which is why everything feels like .. so ... bare bones .. untested .. unfinished .. non sensical...#like an alpha build that got enough visual polish to look like a full game when its still an alpha build at its core#some main ideas like the abilities implemented and the basic map layers#mechanics functioning but untested on how it feels to play#like the sage controls and arrow fusing and ... contradictory game mechanics that dont work together#like the bulding WORKS but its clunky and underused- everything can be cheated so easily you dont even feel good cheating-#-bc it feels like the teacher just allowed you to mark your test with a green circle and you still got an A (or however USA grades work)#despite not even reading the questions- why attempt to solve a puzzle if you can just skip it#and how they tell you to be creative with it yet creativity gets punished and only efficiency is rewarded#which completely undermines the entire thing#...theres so much more you know i have ranted about it all before#ALSO rauru and sonia seemed like a rather newly wed couple to me- not one that had multiple kids that never appear-#since it only mentions rauru ..... if its only his then ... that doesnt explain anything bc zelda needs both sonia and rauru dna#................do sonau leave eggs to incubate somewhere heavenly or sth#watch out the springs where built to hatch rauru eggs bc they need the gods holy blessing bc they are oh so holy to hatch
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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A thing about trying to plot out QS canon-divergence fixit where the marriage is averted is that the obvious solution to “she was already pregnant before they knew the truth” is, well, end the pregnancy. The wider world doesn’t seem to know that she’d conceived prior to marriage, so can’t be more than a month or so along as of the wedding for it to be plausible. People have been inducing abortion in dire circumstances despite physical risk and moral stigma throughout history. QS has magic at her disposal and the means to remove herself from society unnoticed during the recovery period, and even if it’s taboo, is it more taboo than incest?
#tfw when the text’s misogyny results in everyone operating on post-Roe Texas logic#*post-Dobbs rather#like come on JGY grew up in a brothel he would know how shit gets done#I can only see him not suggesting it if he’d witnessed someone dying from attempting to give themselves an abortion#and his panic brain was like ‘it would be Just Like That and she would DIE HORRIBLY so we must marry!’#and even then it doesn’t explain why QS’s parents wouldn’t suggest it!#or (more distressingly yet still plausibly) pulling a Hoster Tully and forcing it#don’t mind me I woke up in the middle of the night and started pondering and now I’m grumpy#bc it’s like you either have to go FULL divergence where she and JGY never hook up at all#or you don’t give her the information until she’s already in the marriage and her options are much more limited#bc if she finds out at the same time JGY does possible outcomes either feel like a PSA about the importance of abortion access#or (if she marries someone else or otherwise sticks it out) GOP glurge about how keeping a pregnancy is always fine and good in the end#miscarriage cw#just in case
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#matty watches#i am not even talking about things like carol (which absolutely did leave me with an indescribable aching sensation for days)#or bloom into you which i am watching now (i can't get the opening song out of my head and it feels like it's stealing my breath)#i'm talking about fucking Enchanting Grom Fright from the owl house! which made me so so so sad when i watched it back in aug 2020#and WHY. and for WHAT.#god.#it's like. it's some Gender Feelings for sure. plus ya know. my overall shall we say delicate mental state (:#but for god's sake i can't even watch some yuri without wanting to curl up and weep and subsume into the mossy forest floor#gender blogging#matty's mental health#i watched carol when it came out in 2015 while having the worst time of my life working on ssv oliver hazard perry#and like i said. already was having a horrible horrible time. and left the theatre absolutely emotionally devastated#feeling like i'd been shattered & the pieces just leaned back against each other#and not... really knowing why it was hitting me so hard or why i was feeling so fucking fragile about it#and that. was definitely an Egg Moment. i'd started id'ing as nonbinary like 6 months earlier.#idk. this got away from me#what i'm trying to say is. i'm watching bloom into you and i'm feeling incredibly fragile about it.#but also Why do i feel so incredibly fragile about every single fucking piece of lesbian media i've ever seen#ALSO INB4: I AM ALREADY A GIRL BY NOW AND AM A LESBIAN SO IF ANYONE IS GONNA MAKE AN ~I SUGGEST FORCEFEM~ JOKE PLS DON'T
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