#just chillin in my crystal cave!

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Hopfully comprehensive list about things in Zelda 2 that might be important for folks doing fan stuff for the game but don‘t wanna play it for expected reasons cuz tbf, yea the game is hard!

(because if I read "8bitrule is a deadly wasteland" one more time I‘ll delete my save file and go join the Yiga Clan XD /lh)

It got VERY long so I sorted into different categories for some semblance of order lmao. It goes:

Backstory

Plot

General info on Hyrule

Towns

General info on Link (+ move set)

Spells

Items

Collectibles

And other funky stuff

Hopefully this will be of help/interest to someone. And if not, oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not enough Zelda 2 stuff out there anyways, so more is always good!

I do like talking about this game so for extra info pls feel free to ask :3

Backstory:

2 Zeldas, the new Zelda is actually a great-great-smth aunt of Zelda 1, and the reason it‘s called "the Legend of Zelda“

Long ago, her bro (and his wizard buddy) pressured her into telling them the secrets of the Triforce she got from their dead dad. Zelda didn‘t tattle, wizard buddy tried to strike her down via spell in anger

Spell went out of control, put Zelda into eternal sleep and killed wizard buddy in one swoop

Prince lost sis and buddy, fell into remorse, locked her in a tower Sleeping-beauty style in hopes the spell would be reversed one day and decreed every princess shall be named Zelda from now on

Plot:

16 old Link chillin his life when a triangle starts glowing on his hand?? Asks Impa for help, she brings her to the magically sealed door where Zelda the First sleeps, cue Backstory

gives him crystals he needs to put in statues in palaces to unlock a seal on the temple that holds the Triforce of Courage (because he did not have that before)

All the bosses are guardians of the statues + Dark Link is his actual shadow that he fights against to prove his heart is pure enough to hold it

It was brought to life by some old guy hanging out there (never explained but he’s probs supposed to be a sage and looks a lot like the Old Man from Zelda 1, though much like all Wise Men in this game do)

Ganon has literally nothing to do with any of that, his monsters just really want Link dead so they can sprinkle his blood on Ganon‘s ashes and bring him back. (Since they need him dead, it probs needs a lot of blood)

Hyrule:

different areas : fields, woods, beaches, caves, swamps, mountains, deserts, graveyards, and one Lake Hylia

2 continents divided by sea, west and east + a small island that is one big labyrinth (named maze island)

different towns, all of them have the names of Oot sages plus Harbor Town Mido and Kazuto Town

the locations/"elements“ of towns do not match their future sages in the slightest (Saria gets water. Ruto‘s in a valley. Nabooru‘s by the sea, fully green and far away from the desert sands).

towns in West Hyrule are well connected via roads

East Hyrule has broken roads (if at all) and Kazuto is even completely ransacked by monsters

there‘s a new Kazuto Town hidden in some woods, while Old Kazuto is an actual Ghost town

Stonehedge is not only a thing but appears in multiple locations

Big Fairies are a thing, but they come without Water Fountains. Instead just hang out in the woods, stonehedge, wherever

streets are always safe. You will never see a monster as long as you stay on it. If you stray, monsters will spawn (though sometimes its fairies instead). If you run back on the street and a monster gets you there, the "battle“ will be empty and you can just walk out. Streets are always safe.

the main graveyard got the King‘s Tomb in the middle of it; has a secret tunnel to one of the palaces

there‘s a smaller graveyard near Death Mountain by Spectacle Rock that‘s apparently supposed to be the Zelda 1 graveyard -> Zelda 1 played in a small part of West Hyrule

third graveyard near The Valley of Death (name is accurate gameplay wise too ._.)

Towns:

very lively communities

different styles of houses, some have bushes, fountains (with drinkable water), different sections separated by gates, etc.

you have to climb on roofs and jump through windows to get into some buildings

Link can get multiple things here: free healthcare from a lady in red, filled up magic from an old lady in orange, a side quest that usually leads to either a new sword skill or magic spell. Those can always be obtained from a knight/wizard in the basement of the main building.

pretty much all villagers can be talked with and either give: generic Hi‘s, vague hints about the next goal, the sidequest, some praise him as the hero and wish him luck

Sometimes they also turn out to be Aches (monsters that look identical to villagers until you talk to them, upon which they turn into bats and attack); pretty much exclusive to the later/Eastrule towns

Link:

16y old and left his equipment at home, only got a sword and shield

Zelda 1 was years ago for him

learned to wear pants between Zelda 1 and 2 (they‘re brown, same color as his shirt. You could make it a onesie if you want to)

hair color‘s somewhere between brown and ginger

Left handed gang

certified recorder player

silly goober

given that Impa got to him so fast, good chance he‘s at the castle often enough

if botw Link is a parry god, he‘s a blocking god

shield is only small enough to cover half his body, hence him learning how to move it at hyperspeed

unnamed sword but the Magic/White Sword from Zelda 1 is on the cover so it’s most likely that one

gains new equipment throughout the game via dungeons

can gain exp and level up, but unless you specifically set him up pre/during his quest, you wanna treat this lad like he‘s maxed out

skills: stab, crouch stab, up jab (like the one from smash), jump/down jab (also like the one from smash, this is where it‘s from)

Spells:

Shield (turns his tunic red and up‘s defense),

Jump (lets him jump high),

Life (restores 3 blocks of HP; your max possible HP is 8 with all Heart Containers. Doesn‘t start out the most expensive, but unlike most other spells barely gets cheaper with higher magic levels, making it the 2nd most expensive in the log run.)

Fairy (turns him into a fairy; small, no fighting but flying, and lets you skip through locked doors! 3rd most expensive.)

Fire (shoot fire from your sword; some enemies can only be defeated this way)

Reflect (reflects magic attacks, lets you block spells that would otherwise go past your shields; basically magic defense)

Spell (turns some enemies into slime + unlocks a secret area in New Kazuto)

Thunder (rains thunder on the whole screen; needed to defeat a boss. Most expensive spell in the game, regardless of magic level.)

the other spells are all dirt cheap in higher levels

if you wanna be real detailed: one magic meter block = 16 MP, totalling for 128 with a maxed meter. A fully leveled (in mp) Link will use 60mp for Thunder, 50 for hp, 40 for fairy, 8 for Jump and 16 for all others. Otherwise, here‘s a table for MP usage across levels.

Items:

Candle: equivalent of the magic lantern, infinite light source. Unlike Zelda 1, this one doesn‘t let you commit property damage :(

Hammer: breaks giant boulders on the road, letting you access shortcuts. Also lets you cut down any tree tiles on the overworld, turning it into fields- Property damage is back baby!

Handy Glove: Lets Link crush blocks with his sword. Even more destruction and a good compromise for the lack of vases imo.

Raft: used to cross from West to East Hyrule.

boots: let you straight up walk on water, but only in certain places.

Whistle/Flute: is actually a recorder (flutes are held sideways, recorders forward. That‘s like. The biggest difference between these two instruments, bar the reputation.) Used to make a monster blocking the road disappear and summon a palace, similar to how you shrink a boss and drain a lake in Zelda 1. Doesn‘t let you teleport though. Does play the same tune, though. It‘s the one also heard in the oot intro!

magic key: the key to end all keys, lets you open all the doors in every dungeon forever (despite the name does not need MP)

Cross: regarless of what some more zealous fans of the series claim as a means to justify their unjustified bigotry, Christianity is not canon to the series. But much like other Japanese media, it sure likes borrowing from its aesthetics! Case in point, this item is just the Kirbo meme. It lets you see invisible ghosts so you can kick their ass. (you don‘t need it to hit them, but they‘re a pain to dodge/ hit even with it.).

Collectibles:

magic jar: same as ever. Blue fills 1 mp block, red fills all. Doesn‘t fill instantly, so if your meter’s got points left you can wait till its half full, use a high mp spell, and still get the rest of the points that‘d otherwise go to waste. Dungeons sometimes contain statues, which drop one jar (or start attacking you).

treasure bag: holds exp (money doesn‘t exist in this game)

key

doll: weird but surprisingly cute doll that looks exactly like a miniature version of Link and gives you an extra life. (The game has lives- if you get a game over, Ganon gets resurrected on screen.)

Bowl of Hearts: Looks, acts like, is a Heart Container. Gives you 1 block of HP; you start with 4, for a max of 8. Can be found wherever Heart Containers would be.

Magic Container: Looks like a filled jar; Heart Container but for MP.

Other funky stuff:

you rescue a kid that got lost in caves

has instances of Link talking in 1st person; one appears by looking under a stranger’s table in a house: "I found a mirror under the table“.

Everyone knows the man the myth the legend, the npc named "Error“, but there’s actually a 2nd guy named "Bagu“. As in, Bug. Game bug.

Bro has a pet Bot (this games‘ version of Chus) sleeping in his house. You can annoy it into waking up and it‘ll tell you where he is so you‘ll finally leave

the waters are NOT poisonous in the slightest (seriously, where did that come from) …but they are infested with jumping Piranhas.

Saria Town only lets people use the bridge connecting the 2 sides of the river if you‘re a citizen or get a permit from Bagu. Vaguely remember you could also take a long road around it tho

With 9.5 towns, a lot of greenery everywhere, and ACTUAL. FUNCTIONAL. ROADS :O This might be one of the most well-off Hyrules in the series (ironically >v<)

Aaaand *looks at length of this post^ ok yea that is enough lmao, I might genuinely hit the word limit here, oof. I‘m a rare Zelda 2 enjoyer can yall tell XD

[lilbit-of-kizzy]

I found all the Pokémon in snap!! Finally!! (I had help lol)

My tips?

Just play the game, no seriously most of them are going to show up eventually on their own! Most on lvl 3 maps.

If you level up a map DON'T HIT REPLAY you will replay at your old level! Exit to the camp and go back into the map for new stuff to start appearing!

Complete quests! Try them first on your own, some of them are very straightforward and simple, some of them are gonna require a walkthrough 😅 that's ok! Just understand that most of the walkthroughs online were created quickly with "wait how did we do that???" players behind them! You may have to tweak what you do to get them to work (or find a different guide)

Don't get so caught up in completion that you forget to have fun! I did this, realized I was frustrated and not enjoying the things I was achieving and took a step back! It's a buggy game, just have fun with it!

Realize you can change the lvl of any map! I did not!! Lolol in small letters it says "x to change level" There are some quests and pokémon unavailable in the higher levels!

Those are the basic ones I can think of rn 😅 if you're ok with spoilers see below the cut for how to find some of the harder ones!

Ok! So some of the names of the places are just gonna be what I call them because I'm tired and don't have my switch on me 😅 you'll know what I mean I promise, also I'm not including different star walkthroughs! Only how to find the Pokémon!

Lugia: I'm putting this one first because I loath it in it's entirety. I swear the rest are nowhere near this complicated

Location: Undersea Cave (underwater map) must be a least lvl 3

Instructions: Scan to take the alternate path into the deep cave (once you're at level 3 this will be open automatically but you can open it before by throwing an orb at the Clawitzer as it shoots into the cave on the left early in the map! If you hit the kelp forest you've gone too far/haven't unlocked Clawitzer yet!)

You should see Starmie swimming around, this is how you know you're on the right level and path! As you pass Tentacruel you'll start your decent to the sea floor.

Look around spastically (I'm not kidding every walkthrough video I've seen has just turned in fast, crazy circles) until you see a Lanturn against the wall and immediately hit it with an orb, you'll know you've done it in time if it dives down instead of joining the throng of pokémon swimming up.

Wailmer/lord will block your view for a second but you should see a couple of Frilish now harassing said Lanturn. Hit it with and orb again to help it fight off the Frilish. It'll be grateful to you and show you a new path! (You'll still need to scan it!) You'll find Lugia around the corner on your right (it's hard to miss!)

There's a Crystal Bloom above it near a sleeping Magikarp, if you hit the bloom it should wake Lugia up! Have fun and memorize this because you have to do all of this EVERY TIME 😄

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Celebi: It's just there!

Location: Evermore Forest (is that right??? The mystery forest)

Instructions: get to level 3 on the forest (you may have to "beat" the game I'm not sure) and make your way to the end! Don't take the Sun Field route, go where the Beware are, then look immediately to your right! Celebi is flying around and will continue to zip around you!

.

Jirachi and Absol: again they just show up after beating the game!

Location: The Ruins

Jirachi is sleeping on top of the 2nd flower pool and Absol will be hanging out near the end! Once you find/interact with them they'll be around in other places as well!

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Mew: mew!!

Location: Jungle Forest (night) you must "beat" the game first!

Immediately upon start turn all the way around, hit the two Murell with an orb and play the melody, they'll dance and a familiar pink orb with spring out of the trees!

After a few seconds of flying around it'll pause in front of you, throw a fluff fruit at it and start snapping pics!

I haven't managed to achieve this myself yet but apparently if you manage to hit and get a picture of Mew every time it shows up, it'll then appear right in front of you at the end of the course! Get pictures and they should be flying around day and night without prompting!

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Suicune: tiny bit complicated

Location: Snow World (names man I'm sorry) Night

So actually activating Suicune isn't hard, getting to them isn't either but it's a lot of steps!

So if you haven't unlocked the 2 alt paths for this level you'll need to do that first so let's go over that!

Start in the day at lvl 2 and look to your left to see an Alolan Sandslash, take its picture! Keep looking to your left and, just beyond Beartic, up high on a snow drift you'll spot the rascal again, again snap a photo! And he'll lead you to a new path! Hurray! (Scan for it of course)

Now that path is open at night as well so, once you're finished, head back in at night lvl 2. Take the new path and you should find a Crabominable punching trees (as you do). He'll eventually go to punch a tree on your left that an Abomasnow is sleeping beside. Chuck an orb before he punches, this'll drop snow on Mr Aboma who will wake up pissy and will scare out a Froslass, take her picture! She'll be shy and show you yet ANOTHER path! (Scan ofc) Now you may want to just explore this area first as there's quite a few new Pokémon here! Both routes are now available day and night!

Anyways once you're out of a cave you'll pass through, you'll emerge to a Jynx riding an Avalugg through the water. Throw an orb at her and she'll raise her hands. At this point look to your right and Suicune should eventually run out from behind the glacier!

(btw Glaceon is up on top of the cliff at the natural end of this level! Where all the Spheal are!)

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Ho-oh: just chillin

Location: Volcano

Immediately look to your right between the two cliffs to catch them in flight! You have to take pictures every time they show up to get them to spawn at the end and I have yet to achieve this 😅 but hey we're just here to fill out the photodex right?

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Dianice and Jolteon: Oh THAT'S where Jolteon is hiding!!

Location: Ice Cave

I'm pretty sure you have to be at lvl 3 but not 100%

Take the Crystal Cave route near all the Croagunk (on the other side of the river) once you pass through the smaller cave, look down to find a Malwile and two Carbinks, orb all 3 of them and look to your right, Dianice will come out towards the happy sounds! If you orb her she'll give you some multi star reactions!

Her presence will have made the 2nd Malwile, the one standing on the crystal who refuses to face you, move revealing a secret path, scan for it, take a picture of the Malwile cause it's finally facing you and you'll descend behind the wall! Jolteon will be hiding in some leaves to your left! (The pictures will register! I'm sure it comes out eventually)

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Gardevoir and Ninetales: and the winter route!

Location: Evermore Forest (again!)

Be sure to be at lvl 3 as it's the only lvl this works on (not max!)

Scan and melody until you can make a right turn, this will ensure Trevenant is out of the way of the path! Espeon will run in front of you and sit, orb her! She'll lead you to the winter forest path!

Gardevoir is hard to miss and Ninetales shows up to your right far away, and towards the end of the winter path will still be to the right but closer!

Have you managed to do the Lost Little Deerling quest/path yet? If not:

Once you pass to the next part of the forest (where Sawsbuck jumps in front of you...3 star pic btw) look immediately to your right and orb the flower. You'll hear and then see a Deerling pop up! Orb the next flower, then you'll see 2 flowers, you wanna hit the one furthest back but NOT the closer one. Then hit the Espeon flower, which will still draw out Espeon but this time she has a friend :3 papa (mama?) Sawsbuck will be thrilled (pics of Deerling to complete the quest!) and all 3 will lead you to the Sun fields! Scan to take the path, it's near those two adorable Espurrs!

If you took the winter path Gardevoir and Ninetales will be here as well! Gardevoir will eat a Fluffruit now and Ninetales will be happy with an orb!

(a loooot of the quests for this map are also in this part of the forest!)

Welp...that was long!! But I hope it helps!! Let me know if there's any Pokémon you're missing that I didn't mention!!

[scifi-catastrophe]

Y’all wanna know about this really weird dnd session that happened when our usual dm left for a day?

Alright so it starts with our small little group going into this creepy inn and we talk to this guy and we ask for a room and he’s like “here’s a key. Idk which room it’s for” so we go to the hallway and behind the first door there was an orgy and one of my friends was like “I wanna join in” but she rolled a two and they kicked her out and idk what the other doors were but one of them had a dead body and a hole in the wall so we go out the hole in the wall to look for the killers and I somehow got lost

The killers were just a bunch a weird demon worshippers who were just tryna make a sacrifice.

But anyway back to my story because I am the most important.

Alright so I got lost in the forest somehow and I think it’s important that I mention that I based my character off of Alex Gaskarth because I have issues. So I was a bard and I run into some fireflies and our dm at the time was like “what do you do” and I said “I sing the song Fireflies by Owl City” And I forget what I rolled but I ended up befriending the fireflies

I would’ve kept a few in a jar, but I didn’t have a jar and the fireflies turned out to be assholes.

Anyway so the fireflies lead me to this random cave in the middle of nowhere and literally pushed my character into the fuckin cave like bitch I sang a song for you what the fuck

But it’s chill cuz ya know there were some baskets chillin next to a weird pond

I opened them and one of had a cake so I kept that

The next one was full of spiders and oh my god I actually screamed when she said it was full of spiders cuz like she went into great detail describing how they climbed up my arm and can we just take a second to remember that my character was based on Alex Gaskarth

So can you just imagine Alex Gaskarth sewing a bunch of spiders and screaming and jumping around until he knocks over the next basket that had a snake in it

Anyway so there’s a snake now

So I tried to bribe the snake into being my friend by offering it cake

But it just ate the cake??? And then went back to trying to kill me???

Like??? Bitch???

So then if you’ll remember there was a weird pond

So I jump into the pond and this fuckin giant lady just appears out of no where

And the snake leaves cuz

“what the fuck there’s a giant lady”

But then of course I’m a bard so I roll to flirt

And I got a five I think

BUT THE GIANT LADY WAS DESPERATE AS FUCK

So she flirted back and then asked me on a date and I said yes

So now back to the rest of the group who found the demon worshippers

They summon the demon without a sacrifice somehow and the demon kills them all and then the rest of my group jumps out of the bushes like “yo you’re cute”

Everyone in that part of the group rolled to flirt

And the demon asked them all on a date

So back to me because I’m important

This giant lady and I are going on a date, right? And we go to this city where everything’s made entirely out of crystals

I got a cool guitar made out of crystals that was cool. It didn’t work but just the fact that I had it was awesome.

This giant lady takes me to this random buffet and we sit down and then the demon walks in (he’s giant too btw) and I join the main group once again

So then the giant lady is PISSED

Like she absolutely despises this guy

And the we find out at they used to date

And then they start fighting and my friend has popcorn but I’m not sure where she got it from so we’re eating popcorn and watching this fight go down and then it comes out that

THEY ARE ALSO RELATED?????

Which is really gross btw

Absolutely disgusting

So as soon as that comes out I’m like “look lady I don’t wanna be the rebound for some weird incest person. If y’all slept with your brother I’m out.”

And then I left

And then idk what happened because we ran out of time

But anyway I was thinking about that cuz I was listening to Fireflies by Owl City cuz it’s a good song

[littlewhitetie]

Silence: Part One

An anti-Galra nanoweapon leaves Keith ill and Shiro badly injured. It's up to Lance and Allura to find them, take care of them, and get them home safe and sound.

(Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | AO3)

“Lance? Will you tell me a story?”

It’s a simple enough request, but Lance seems confused by it. He raises a thin eyebrow as he casts Allura a sidelong glance. “Uh, sure. What about?”

“Anything,” Allura says. “I just… can’t stand this silence.”

The cave is too quiet, nothing but the occasional crunch of crystals beneath their feet echoing through the tunnels. Her head is too quiet, the usual presence of the Lions muted by the strange walls. Worse than all that, though, is the dead silence over the comms. No word from Keith or Shiro; no way of tracking them down. They could be anywhere in here.

“Yeah,” Lance says. “I know what you mean. So, a story. How ‘bout this. Once upon a time, there was a really cool space princess, who had a knight. Well, she had five knights, but one of them was especially awesome. He was brave, and strong, and smart, and popular, and really, really good-looking.”

“Was her knight named Shiro?” Allura asks, with a teasing smile.

“What? No! It was Lan— …do. His name was Lando.”

“What a terrible name,” she says.

“Yeah, I regret it already, but too late now. So Lando and Princess… uh... Allana? Yeah, Princess Allana, along with two of her other, less attractive knights, were—“

“What were the others’ names?” she interrupts.

“Uh… Keef and… Shoro.”

Allura laughs aloud at that.

“Hey. It’s not their fault the person who named them had to do it on the spot,” he says, defensively. “So, yeah, Allana, Lando, Keef, and Shoro were chillin’ in their space castle out in space, while their friends were busy on some super boring tech mission in another galaxy. Suddenly, they received a distress signal from the, uh…” he pauses, scrunching up his face as he tries to think of a name. “Screw it, they’re just gonna stay the Ferexians.

“Ferexis had been hit by this really bad pandemic that had infected thousands of people in, like, a week. There was a cure, but the ingredients for the medicine were super hard to get, and the Ferexians weren’t in any shape to get it. So Allana, Lando, Keef, and Shoro went to go find the ingredients for them. Allana and Lando—who was clearly her favourite knight—went to the mountains south of the capital to gather serafi roots, while Keef and Shoro went north to find the atraxeth flowers that grew in the crystal caves.”

“How can you be certain Keef or Shoro were not her favourite?” she asks, her lips curving upward.

“Uh, ‘cause those other guys were boring, obviously,” he says. “So Allana was super happy she got to be paired up with the best knight ever, and she had an awesome time ‘cause Lando was so handsome and witty and smart. It took a while, but Allana and Lando eventually found the roots they were looking for. No problem.

“But while they were out, something bad happened. There was a terrible empire that had enslaved most of the universe, and Ferexis was the empire’s main supplier of one of the components needed for the ion cannon things on their ships.”

“What was the empire called?” she asks.

Lance groans. “Do I have to name everything?”

She nods.

“Fine. It was the Glara Empire. Happy?”

“Very,” she says.

Lance huffs. “Okay. So while our dashing heroes were off getting the ingredients, the Glara dropped by Ferexis to collect their ion cannon stuff. The Ferexians didn’t have it, but they’d prepared for this day. They unleashed a really terrible nanoweapon into the atmosphere that would infect the Glara and mess with their tech all at once.

“Allana and Lando didn’t find out about this until vargas later, when they came back to the city with the roots. When they got back, there were broken sentries all over. The sentries weren’t just shut down, they were, like, twitching, or—or fried. And there were… there were soldiers on the ground… sick, a-and convulsing, and dying…” His breath hitches.

“That is enough detail,” she says, tersely. She tries to ignore the prickling sensation behind her eyelids, wishing she could scour away the image burned into her mind. “Please move on with the story.”

“Y-yeah. Right. Um, well, Keef and Shoro could've been affected by the anti-Glara weapon, too. They hadn’t come back yet, so Allana and Lando went into the cave to find them. Allana and Lando couldn’t hear them over the comms, though that was definitely, definitely only ‘cause something in the cave was messing with their comm system. But it meant they didn’t have any idea where Keef and Shoro were. Lando and Allana walked for vargas and vargas and still didn’t see them.”

“So what happened next?” Allura asks.

“Next, Allana had to decide which way to go, ‘cause they’d reached another fork in the path,” he says.

Allura’s heart sinks as her eyes follow the path below their feet, finding the notch where it diverges. There are no signs of which way Keith and Shiro would have gone—if they’d even chosen this route in the first place. The odds of finding them along this route are already terrifyingly slim, and now the chances of finding them have been halved yet again.

The place is a maze. The winding cave is made all the more confusing by its reflective surfaces and too many light sources; crystals upon crystals in pink and blue and violet surround them, shiny and glowing. A ‘funhouse’, Lance had called it when they’d first entered, but this is hardly fun.

“She chose to go right,” she says, with a sigh. “Please tell me Lando and Allana found Keef and Shoro in time.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, totally,” Lance says. “It didn’t take much longer, and they found them, and Keef and Shoro were a hundred percent fine. They didn’t actually need rescuing; they were completely safe. They were just, like, caught up in finding the flowers, or taking a long nap, or playing patty-cake, or something. They were happy to see Lando and Allana anyway, and they were all—” Lance raises his voice an octave, “Oh, Lando, you’re so amazing and talented! If only we could be as cool as you are!”

Her lips turn up. “Did they really sound like that?”

“Yes. So Allana, Lando, Shoro, and Keef got back to the city no problem. They got the ingredients to the Ferexians and saved everyone. The Ferexians were super grateful and threw the heroes a parade—”

“A parade? Would they not still be recovering?” 

“It was a small parade. Everyone had a good time, and then they all went back to the castle and took a nap. The end.”

She gives him a smile. “Thank you for the story. It was perhaps not particularly imaginative, but I did enjoy the ending.”

“Yeah. …Maybe I should’ve changed up the plot. It would’ve been better if Lando had just gone with Keef, like he was supposed to in the first place.”

“Well, Allana did not object to the proposed change in plans,” she says. Far from it. Allura loved Shiro and Keith dearly, but Lance… Lance knew how to make her smile.

A low, throaty roar echoes through the cave. She stiffens and grabs Lance’s wrist, yanking him backward.

He furrows his brow in confusion. “What is it?”

“Did you not hear that?”

“No, but my hideous human ears are inferior to yours,” he says.

“They are… charming," she offers. "It sounded like some sort of creature. I think it may be behind us—we must proceed with caution. I can guard the rear.”

“Alright."

Several tense doboshes pass, the heavy plod of footsteps and occasional growls getting progressively louder.

Finally, a large, blue creature comes into sight. It looks like a monstrous crossbreed between a crocodile and a xznly sqiwl. It’s armoured in thick, shiny scales. Its fangs are visible from the outside, too many sharp teeth hanging out of its broad mouth.

She pushes Lance out of the way, and then she rushes at it.

“What—what are you doing?” he gapes.

“Distracting it for you,” she calls, veering away from him. She has to get its attention; she can’t let it get to Lance.

The beast kicks up loose crystals on the ground with its forefoot, stomping, and then it charges at her.

For such an enormous creature, it’s surprisingly fast. She manages to leap out of the way when it comes at her, tucking into a roll. But the blasts from Lance’s gun have no effect, unable to get past its plated hide. Dodging won’t be enough on her end.

She runs forward and, getting close enough, strikes it with her whip. It doesn’t hurt it, but it does make it very, very angry. It snaps its teeth at her. She nearly gags at the rank odour emanating from its fleshy mouth.

“Get back!” Lance yells.

“No! This is your chance,” she calls. “If I remain close enough, it will keep trying to bite me. Shoot it in the mouth when its jaws are open.”

“You’re out of your mind,” he says, but he doesn’t object.

She lashes the monster with her whip again, this time aiming for its face. It rears on its hind legs before lurching forward, mouth gaping open, rows and rows of pointed teeth exposed. “Now!”

Lance takes several shots in rapid succession. He hits his mark, the blasts aimed perfectly between its sets of teeth to find the back of its vulnerable throat.

With a hideous screech, the beast collapses. The smell of burnt, putrid flesh penetrates her nostrils.

“Ew,” he says. “So. Gross.”

“It is rather disgusting,” she says, wrinkling her nose. When she’s certain it won’t get back up, she turns to Lance and gives him a grin. “Great job. I knew you could do it.”

The smile he returns isn’t the usual beam he wears when he receives praise. “Thanks. But… Keith and Shiro. Would—would they have been able to…” He trails off. It would have been difficult for the two of them to defeat it even in top form, given their close range weapons and the beast’s natural armour and teeth. As they are now…

“We have been in here for several vargas, and this is the first we’ve seen of these,” she says. “There can’t be many in here. They may not have encountered any at all.”

“Okay, but still,” he says, “we’ve seen, like, ten of those giant snake things.”

“Eight at most,” she says. “And those would not be so difficult for Keith to take care of with his sword.”

“If he can use his sword. If he can even move,” he says. “You saw those Galra soldiers.”

“Keith is only half Galra,” she says. “I am certain his symptoms are not nearly as bad.” She reaches for Lance’s arm and begins walking again, pulling him along. “Keith and Shiro are strong. They always manage to pull through. We will find them, and we will bring them home, safe and sound.”

Lance gives her a slight smile. “How do you do that? Manage to sound so confident, when things get bad. Know how to inspire hope, and stuff.”

“Surely you know the answer,” she says. “After all, you do the same for me.”

He brightens at that. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing we’ve got each other, then.”

She smiles. “Absolutely.”

…

As they continue walking, Lance fills the silence with commentary on their surroundings. Apparently, there are no caves like this on Earth. They’re way more boring; the rock is always drab brown or grey, and they’re really dark. Sometimes, though, there are things that glow in the caves, like mushrooms or weird worm things that hang from the ceiling—at least, according to a documentary he saw. He’s never actually seen them in person.

There are a lot of things on Earth he hasn’t seen. Most humans, it seems, haven’t explored everything their planet has to offer. Allura can barely fathom the notion, but for a race that had never even travelled outside their own solar system before, it’s not all that unexpected.

When they reach a small pool of water, Lance runs to it. He cups the water in his hands, slurping loudly.

While Lance is busy quenching his thirst, another large snake-like creature noiselessly slithers toward her. It glitters pink, shiny spikes running down its spine. Its diamond eyes flash.

As quietly as she can, Allura slaughters the creature before Lance notices. It only takes a few well-aimed strikes. Immediately, she drags its carcass out of sight, hiding it behind a wide crystal pillar. There is no need to worry Lance further.

Lance has many fears, and he’s not quiet about them. He doesn’t have quite as many as Hunk, but it’s toward that end of the spectrum. He’s often frightened, so it makes it all the more commendable that he’s able to overcome that to protect others. He really is someone she's grown to admire.

As they continue onward, Lance keeps talking. It’s idle chatter, but it’s nice all the same. He tells her about a wide array of animals on Earth. It’s strange that there would be so many of the same animals as on Altea, completely different planets with galaxies between them. At the same time, though, it’s not all that surprising, considering how many uncanny similarities already exist between them. It’s not exactly random chance—the Blue Lion went to Earth for a reason.

The animals on Earth sound quite boring, generally drab in colour and not nearly as intelligent as their Altean equivalents. All the same, many people own pets. While not particularly smart, they’re supposedly nice to cuddle and play with.

Pidge is one such pet-owner. She has a dog at home that she misses. She had found great comfort in her dog when her father and brother went missing. Allura feels a pang of guilt for taking Pidge away from that, recruiting her in this war so far from home, but Lance assures her she’s not just here out of obligation; she’s chosen to stay of her own volition. She’s found a home out here, too.

Allura wishes she could have heard this from Pidge directly. She wishes they were closer. Her hopes for a sisterly bond between them had been quickly quashed, and they don’t talk all that much outside of missions. It’s not just Pidge, either; she wishes she were closer to all of the paladins. Allura had distanced herself when the paladins had first come to the Castle, too afraid to gain more loved ones to lose. The paladins found their way into her heart all the same, but by then, the paladins had grown so close to one another, she didn’t feel she could join them in activities outside of battle without intruding.

“Are you kidding?” Lance says, after she tells him—he has a way of getting her to open up in a way she never would with others. “We’d love to have you join us! We kinda always just assumed you wouldn’t want to, or would be busy hanging out with Coran, or playing with the space mice, or something. Seriously, you’re always welcome to hang out with us. We’d like that a lot.”

“…Are you certain?” she asks. 

“C’mon,” he says, with an easy smile. “If Keith’s invited, there’s no way you’re not.”

She laughs. “What even started your rivalry with Keith in the first place? He told me before that he had no idea; he didn’t even know who you were at the time.”

“That’s exactly it!” Lance says. “He didn’t seem to care about anyone other than Shiro. He wouldn’t give anyone else the time of day. I know better now, but at the time, I assumed it was ‘cause he thought he was better than everyone else. The worst part about it was he was better than everyone else, and he didn’t even have to try.”

She cocks her head to the side. “Why would that matter?”

He gives her a wry smile. “You’ve always been amazing at everything you do too, so you wouldn’t really understand.”

She’s not really sure how to respond to that. “…Tell me more about animals.”

He laughs. “Okay, maybe you don’t always win gold for subtlety. But yeah, sure. Ostriches. Did you guys have ostriches on Altea?”

Many conversations, six snakes, and two crocodile-xznly squiwl creatures later, Allura interrupts Lance’s explanation of ‘bowling’ when she hears the slightest noise from around the corner. It doesn’t sound like any of the beasts they’ve encountered. No, it sounds like… a groan.

Allura grabs Lance’s hand and breaks into a run.

[fanfictin]

3-2

“nothing as of yet” “Only you could be worried about the ships i already shot down”

aw duel fights, anaking again weird sith lady and obiwan ofc against grevious

i love how they just fuckin kick each other. they have lightsabers and guns but they also hit. pfft. she just straight up kicked anakin in the face. nice.

3-4

“Should you really proceed without the council’s approval” padme “We do it all the time. Don’t we, Snips?”  “Yep.” padme, quieter “I can’t believe they let you teach” anaking looks so smug,, pfft

3-6

“Master obiwan caused trouble? that’s a first.” “ugh” (he just Does Not want to Talk  about it rip. dont make anakin talk abt it ahsoka) “Just give me the lightsaber”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get hurt” “Nothing you wouldn’t have done” ahshsjflfsj ahsoka you’re killing your master ahsoka

3-7

“If I’m not with you, who else will watch your back?” oh ahsoka she cares for her master

3-10

(anakin should go to hang out w obiwan like My wife took my padawan and i have nothing to do)

3-12

star fighting duo,, i love their red and yellow ships. “Anakin! I’m going to need help!!” yes for asking for help

yes for fighting ventrress together

3-14

“so much for not starting something” “Hey don’t look at me!” they’re so dumb i love them fighting together

did anakin just do the salute thing that obiwan does???

obiwan w the hand on anakin’s shoulder briefly,, pls

with the holding anakin back again--

didnt that thing just land on them-- okay i guess jedi are impervious to crush injuries

“We’ll take him together” “RIght.” crey

3-15

DISASTER TRIO ADVENTURE AGAIN???!! YES

anakin is so fucking dramatic and petty i love it

all black out and all wake up. fun times. theyre just Who landed the ship

“we’ll be fine. as long as we stay together” thanks obiwan, now yu’re definitely not going to stay together

rockfall seperate! a favourite trope!!

anaking he’s just asking if youre alright and didnt get crushed by the rocks,, theyre no need to be so dramatic and angsty-- ankin pls obiwan just cares---

“is it true he is the chosen one” -activate obiwan protective mode- “What do YOU know of such things??” also why does ahsoka have 2 lightsabers--

lol he just turned into a bat. that’s pretty cool yo.

oh-- this is basically the crystal cave! hm. that’s not good. and a ghost quigon talking to obiwan? weird. “I’ve trained him as well as i could” bless

oooo they’re all having visions. nice.

“I think anakin may be in trouble” ahsoka i love you

eh that was pretty cool. many troubled anakin codas could be writen after that. nice.

3-16 

oh it’s still them! anakin is sleepin,, bless him

oh nice. action. “was it a nightmare” oh ahsoka. love it. and yes it was but now it’s reality.

another crash landing, nice. “I didnt think you saw it” o “it was a GIANT TOWER of COURSE i SAW IT” a

the SHOULDER stop. nice. and he didnt listen. of course.

well yeah climbing is hard work. stop being so dramatic anakin.

“you might want to check up on him” thanks bad guy, obiwan will do just that

okay that was cool. asoshka is fine now, anakin is n’t glowing any more, they’re going to head off.

3-17

continuation? whoa

they’re just chillin in their ship. “You did well anakin. how do you feel?” thanks obiwan that helps 

whelp bye anakin

aw waking asokha and giving her tea,, bless obewan

“Wheres. anakin.” protective master mode activated

“Look after the ship, i’m going to find anakin” ahsokas just like well ok then bye obiwan

oh it’s literally just rots foreshadowing premonitions, cool.

“anakin. are you alright?” no definitely not, in the bad side rn, but we’ll catch up with your worried tone later

okay yeah just nake him collapse again that’s fine. you guys are worse than the angels in spn

“are you alright” yes thanks for asking again, fine now master

okay yeah just throw em away that’s fine. yknow getting thrown on the floor hurts more than you think in like real life

okay sure that’s fine. just white out and wake up on the ship. sure.

3-18

“You’re just being protective again” why yes, yes he is.

“you either Do or Die. and that’s not a risk i’m willing to share.” oh. anakin pls that’s such a good quote.

fucking incredible “I must have carbon sickness bc i could swear that’s Ahsoka” “Your eyes are fine. it’s ahsoka’s HEARING that needs helps”

also oh my GOSH this is that gifset i’ve had in my likes FOREVER. the one where obiwan just fuckin snaps his head around to listen to ahsoka and just goes “I see anakin’s new teaching method is to do as i say not as i do” fuckin savage

i also like the return of Snips as the nickname, and quite often too - i imagine in fic they must have had a talk from when possessed ahsoka said she hated the name

aw ahsoka being teensy. also that’s a very ellie and joel thing. opening the door from the other side and the mentor being grumpy. nice.

well that was fun. snakin got sucked to the roof as well bc of his mental arm pfffttt and got hismelf down while being elecetrocuted. cool.

3-19

“sorry I’m late” a “how nice of you to join us” o Anakin don’t smirk at that. don’t smirk like that at your master.

see i knew that would hit you. now youre hittign the ground again aniakin. that shit hurts you know

3-20

no-- this is not how you use grenades- you have to save them for the shield enemies-- have you never playyed unhcharted---

you cant just burn his body in lava-- okay you did it. well. at least you used the force together.

anyway this is a pretty cool episode i guess. continuation, less h/c but still good.

3-21

ahsoka and anakin mission!-- never mind they’re spitting up. sigh.

okay well this episode is called padawan lost so. i’m sure she’ll be found. also this is literally just the hunger games.

aww what a nice reunion, that was sweet

“Thank you, master.” “You’re welcome. My padawan” pls stop,, anakin and ahsoka are too cute

4-1

oh nakin got his helmet off underwater and snips got it for him just “you call for backup?” and he just “I HAD it under control snips” while he’s coughing up water still ah,, them. also “Ha! I knew you’d say that”

4-3

this water level has gone on for 3 episode so far,,,,

you can’t, electrocute someone underwater-- oh well fine. that’s just anakin’s luck isn’t it.

4-4

wow anakin’s so used to lightening that it takes quite a bit to knock him out rip

whoa will padme trade grevious for anakin? yes. probably. esp when he’s being lighteninged even when unconscious. that’s rude.

okay anakin yeah wake up just when padme pulls you into her arms. and then she helps him walk,, bless.

4-7

the duo are back! oh is this the one where obiwan fakes his death bc i know that’s coming and i am not enthused.

4-11

oh wow that was very sudden. Anger Anakin appears and obiwan tells him to CHILL basically then when ahsoka asks, obiwan admits anakin was a slave and ahsoka says she’ll keep an eye on him,, they love so much

hey dont throw obiwan around like that, he’s an old man

anakin and ahsoka duo lookin for bombs

that was fun. anakin almost fell out of the ship. always good.

4-12

anger anakin abt slaves. nice. even mentioning his mother.

“Looks like i have to rescue you again, old man.” “I knew you’d have a backup plan”

well they all got electrocuted to unconsciousness. good plan gang.

4-13

and there anakin goes getting electrified by dooku again. sigh.

“Anakin, i’m please to see you” aw even beatne down obiwan is there

that was a good mission.

4-15 ah this one is called Deception so i’m guessing it’s the deception arc where obiwan fakes his death. ouch. anger anakin is definitely going to be back.

yes ouch. that hurt. 

this is just fasttrack anikan to the dark side run by killing his master

“Everyone knows how close we are. it was his reaction that sold it” this is fucking rude. but true. still very rude.

4-16

“He killed my master. My best friend.” oh dear. ouchies.

anyway chancellor palpatine is here now to continue anakin’s fast  track to the darkside by killing his brother

well at least he went with ahsoka. ..how long does this arc last....

aw well at least he still cares. ha. accidently knocks anakin off then hurries off to make sure he’s okay, then chokes him out. just normal stuff.

ahsoka straight up standing over anakin soul eater maka and soul style ,,, oh my

“Obiwan is still alive” and ahsoka helps him back to the ship. good for them.

4-17

hey well THANKS for telling anakin that yoda. so useful. so great to know. nice how you all killed his master in front of him for a plan. cool. he’ll brush that off.

4-18

yep anakin’s still pissed. honestly good for him.

“Hopefully i’ll be where i always am” a “he means saving the day” ah no he means next to obiwan

obiwan watching over them from a sniper,, aw

“Mace, Anakin’s down” he’s still looking out,, crey

well that wasn’t a fyll on yell but it was a telling off. good foryou anakin. yelling at your oncedead master is fine for a bit.

oooo surprise end twist! anakin facing dooku

obiwan running to help anakin and stopping to make sure he’s alright,, but points lost for still being in disguise

4-21

anakin and ahsoka go to a diner. that’s it that’s this episode.

“Master? Anakin?” Ahsoka trying to get his attention when he’s worrying quiet :)

okay so darth maul is alive apparently

4-22

haha obiwan getting the shit beaten out of him and saved by ventress then using a red lightsaber. hilarious.

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: “Man up and be a farther, ZACK!”

before rebegin Ryan (frost crystal) changed his name to Sam recently so if you’ve been following our antics for a while know that Frost Crystal is played by Sam. carry on~

we leave the earthen sanctum as it is collapsing. Envoy’s wing is crippled and the Monk tried to save her but got his arm smashed by falling rocks. the everything is crumbling and our witcher almost dies so many times!

DM: roll reflex. elizander: *rolls* DM: okay you trip but flow into a summer salt so you’re still running. elizander: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

everyone gets out BUT Zack!

me: Bardic knowledge! DM: you sense that someone is in trouble. me: I cast fish face folly! DM: odds or evens? me: eeevens? ryan: Odds just to be evil. me: *rolls 17* ryan: ODDS! DM: you cast FishFace’s folly. there is now a moose standing before you. Envoy: *silently screaming* DM: hes eating walnuts. he was gonna get attacked by a bear. me: oh okay. i roll to pet the moose. Envoy: *nat20* me: OF COURSE SHE WOULD! Ryan: this is envoy’s attention span: we are in danger! save the frie- OMG A MOOOSE!

there is now a moose named Oscar that hangs around the pokeball.

*WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO SAVE ZACK. ITS GONNA GET GRAPHIC PRETTY FAST.* 

Zack was in the mouth of the cave but it was collapsing. Tim was rolling horribly and fishface folly was our best bet but it failed so we went with the ranger’s idea: a arrow with a rope tied to it. the original plan was to shot the arrow and hit a leg or something fleshy so it wouldn’t be so bad and would be easier to heal. unfortunately Tim wanted to try and grab the arrow with his good hand. im pretty sure you know where this is going.... the reflex wasn’t high enough so the arrow shoots threw Zacks hand- and into his and out his elbow. his bone is splintered in the process but he can still grab firmly onto the rope. Spine (in his sadistic glee) helps Valekimin pull on the rope to get Zack out of the still collapsing cave. hes at 5 health and is confirmed for worst rope burn/road rash in the history of ever. it was taking too long how ever and Zack was bleeding out, so the ranger has her bear yank on the rope. this cause the arrow to go half way back into Zack’s arm.  once hes out the ranger (in a very bad case of miss wording) yanks the rope and arrow out of his arm, knocking him out. the necromancer boops him on the nose to give him 10 false life but he goes out again when we do the math for the rope burn ON THE INSIDE OF HIS ARM and the bleeding hes doing so the necromancer heals him again. why am i including this you ask?

lindsy: i give the bloody, gory bits of the rope to Rose. Rose: *takes the rope. licks it.* Spine:....do you like it??? Rose: >_>.....>u>....*starts pealing the gore off very slowly* Tim: *horrified into going unconscious AGAIN.*

*OKAY YOU’RE GOOD!*

we all go running off in our own ways to avoid a land slide (Envoy Nazul and Zack are in the pokeball, Spine blink daggers away, Vale flies with her companions, Frost Crystal plan shifts and Elizander....)

DM: roll reflex. coolie: *rolls* DM: you land on your hands and spring into several back flips before righting yourself. you keep running. elizander: FUCK YOU GUUUUUYYYYSSSS! (we actidently left him behind....>_>)

so alicaria goes to the plan where all the deitys are and finds no one there so she goes back to the normal plain HOW EVER....

Vale and Spine try to tree teleport and end up in Frank’s forest.

vale: *casts speak with plants* Frank? hello? Frank: Sup bruh? Ryan: *facepalm* hes a teenager now....

Vale has to go kill a evil yant to prove her worth to her qticotal and spine goes with to watch.

*vale and evil radio active yant fighting* Ryan: is there such thing a necrotic popcorn?

Alicaria brings everyone to the steam punk gnome village. its very bad. Envoy wants to stay and help but she needs to go visit Frank and do some things so they tree-port there. once there, Envoy does a song and dance of prayer to the moose asking for advice. she is told to return to the gnome city and help the people there, and that there is a meeting with all the deities at the moment.

Envoy: okay. i’m going to get some wood for a personal project and then head back to cogsworth! me: *nat 1 on finding some wood* Envoy: *picks up stick* this should be enough! Elizander: Envoy that stick isn’t enough for what ever project you’re doing. Envoy: and how would YOU know me I-Don’t-Have-WoodWorking? elizander: what are you making...? Envoy: rings. elizander: that stick would make 1/3 of a ring, Envoy....

Elizander and alicaria look for a log for Envoy and Alicaria nat 1s.

DM: you turn into a tree. you are comfortable as a tree. its very nice. Envoy: *flies up and sits in the Alicaria tree* Issac shelab and the griffion: *same* Elizander: come on alicaria! we need to go! Envoy: you ARE my only way of getting back to the steam punk city... Sam:.....im a tree :D Alicaria: *cats vines. lifts elizander up* coolie: PUT ME DOWN! Sam: IM A TREE MOTHER FUCKER! :D

evenutally Envoy (who can’t fly, is too far away to ride the yak or teleport) decides to ask Frank the blue flying moose tree for some help.

Frank: sup bruh. Envoy: Sup man.  Frank: wut ya need? Envoy: my ride is kinda tree right now. shes chillin so i ain’t gonna throw off her grove, but i promised the BFM id help out at cogworth. any ideas on how to get me there? Frank: nah bruh...sorry. Envoy: thats alright homie *pat the tree* Frank: wait. hang on i have an idea. *summons tree spirit* yo homes help her out. Spirit: why doesn’t she just fly? Envoy: this ones broken *pats wing* Spirit: *fixes it* eh... still got a job to do.

the spirit lifts Envoy high into the air and we all think shes gonna get thrown. she gets planted into the ground instead and she is sent flying through roots in the ground. still fun! 

DM: you stop. everything is dark. Envoy: *remembering everything Spine taught her about being buried alive, she takes some dirt and drops it to find where ‘up’ is* (this is funny cause it took Spine 12 tries to figure out what direction UP was when he too was shot underground and was trying to dig out)

Envoy pops out of the ground and, with no best friend necromancers to hurt with her ultra awesome flute that heals people, she spends the next 24 hours healing wounds and lifting spirits with her music. mean while...

Envoy: eli- elizander: Envoy. Envoy: i can’t get her to let you go- Elixander: EN-Voooy. Envoy: and i promised the blue flying moose i would help- Elizander: EN. VOY. Envoy: IGattaGoImSorryBye Elizander: DONT LEAVE ME HERE ENVOY! *envoy gets planted* Elizander: ENVOY!....ENVOY DONT LEAVE!....EEENNNVVVOOOYY! Alicaria: do you want up? Elizander: fuck you do you want to play chess???

Elizander plays chess and alicaria is a shore loser. she puts him on frank.

eventually Zack comes out the pokeball with the yak and he tries to help Eliznder but drops him. Eli hangs upside down thanks to the vines alicaria cast to catch him and the Yak boops him about with her snout before eating the vines.

Elizander: i want to go home... Shiba: *bumps the witcher* Elizander: oh? you... you want me to get on? okay. *gets on the yak* are you gonna take me to Cogsworth or- Shiba: *starts to buck him around, rodeo style. this is how she has fun*

Vale kills the thing and Spine takes the remains into his necropolis so he has a new friend.

when we FINALLY get everyone back together, Envoy has a surprise for everyone! While healing the gnomes non stop and keeping spirits high, the gnomes gave her the title “The Healer” (she gets a +10 to heal checks now) and as a thanks for her work, they gave her a air ship.

Tim: so wait- me: I HAVE A AIR SHIP YALL! WOOT WOOT! Ryan: wait JUST her??? DM: YES JUST HER! shes the only one that was helping the city. its HERS.

the wrecking crew has a air ship now. its piloted by flick!

Envoy got some wood along the way and after we fix Zack and stuff and blah im getting tired LETS GET TO THAT TITLE, SHALL WE?

so while Nazul was a baby, Zack decided to be his dad since Slyvia was bent on being his mom. adopting the assassin was pretty nice, and Zack even continued to refier to Nazul as his son when we fixed him. (this is hella sweet cause Nazul never had a mom or dad so this is like major awesome for him).

so what does our grateful neutral evil Assassin ghost boy do? WHY GO BACK TO THE DWARTH CITY AND BUY DRINKS FOR EVERYONE WITH ZACK’S MONEY AND NAME!

he gets caught at first. Drawth: arn’t you that prick that stole everyone’s money while the trolls were attacking? Nazul: are you sure it wasn’t the TROLLS who stole your money? DM: Roll Bluff. Nazul: *Nat 20 cause when DOESNT this group get nat 20s???* Drawth: YOU’RE RIGHT! DAMN TROLLS!

he gets up to alot of mischief. he also turns all the dwarths racist towards gnomes. eventually he gets caught caught and is sent to the king.

King: you bought the town ale with your farther’s money, sent the lot into a drunkin rampage resulting in many citizens breaking into the royal whine cellar, you cheated two times in the pits- Nazul: i was having too much fun. (he killed a orger, a 4 armed gorllia, and a lizard person. he broke the rules cause his rune brought him back to life 2 times) king: -and all this in your farther’s name. how do you think he will react to this? king: *teleports Zack there* this your son?

the result is Zack owes the drawths 100,000,000 gold OR he can return the cane algres stole from them.

and at the moment hes buying cheese for master spliter so he can be level 20 with the rest of us.

SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!

[cre0n]

"DWAL SSAAY ELIHC LRUG WEHW" (My Pet Unpopulars Reversed)

"Time to be quiet"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ0ECqMHfUQ

Prelude

Creon: First off rest in peace to this decade that got owned. From the phony fake feedback "they" have been reading this for the past several years and I can see people being bothered by it. It's nothing to do with a check or any type of fake fame from "them". I don't get paid for this or even have followers but guess who's reading it. Just think of it as a free schooling or in some cases pure sportsmanship. Where yall think all of that Rebel talk came from? Now all of a sudden a decade later everybody is Rebel this, going against the system that. Folks got Rebel Clothing lines, Rebel mentalities, and Rebellious attitudes. That's the pavement that was laid for you and you and every colored negroe that it meant something to. When your as powerful as this entity inside of my physical body the other side tends to tip their hand occasionally. I don't think "they" try to give it away it's just fear that drives them to surrender unwillingly. Ain't it amazing how some of the most powerful *people* in this Matrix will never make it to your TV screen or trendy news cast that entices humans so much. Could you be able to comprehend or fathom a supreme being that induces so much fear into the hearts of the most evil entities that dwell in this realm? That may be to much for a human to understand. That may even be hilarious to most simpletons but it's meant to draw the mind closer and it's working. The point of this is Top 50, Top 25, Top 5 whatever nobody is bringing the same substance, content, subject matters and skill all in one sitting. Where would your favorites be without the help? Would they even exist to you anymore? They need to piggyback the fame and media to be a dope somebody. You have a fresh start and don't have to do that. I myself don't even know what help is anymore and you should feel the same way. It's in the people to have that power and they should take it. Dumbasses, we don't live in the physical realm you wake up to everyday. The REAL is lived out in your mind. If you reincarnate on this planet after dying, YOU LOST THE GAME. Yes, some of us come here for a sole purpose with the intent of light bearing revelations....Then I think about things again and say maybe I shouldn't complain. Maybe I should just be flattered to say the least. Naw not this time fuck that. It's like one of the homies said, You Can Do All Things Through Christ Except Play With Me. What I'm doing and have been doing and already did is sculpting and designing a coded landscape typical to a highway for all of my "peers" in this so called "community" as grounds for their pitiful souls to maybe one day be spared. Even the jealous and cowardly ones that are the purest of maggots, the ones who try to block your very existence, or just flat out ain't shit know the end game. They even have to bend the knee.

"Spoken"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVijnZylMw0

1. Eye don't respect you and at the same time must protect you They swear this state that their mind is in equals revenue How you call it blessed when frequency filters through mess What is it n*gger you can't see or the fame is humanity's stress The North Pole with machine elves the holy grail My tree of life cannon ball into eternal wells Drink from our chalice the fountain  conception Stone Mountain His Russian time machine dream simply will not allow it A treasure chest no jewels to drop it's not for sale Forgot to reload my CERN account black Queens dwell in Hell Now you understand why EYE can't get signed Or go on tour for decades behind the black man's mind Let's overstand this sovereign case them people scared Came back to the planet ONE last time yall still unprepared

2. Wool robe eyes like the burning bush sandals bronze Magnetic field and aura like a lunar groupon Infinte is 8 we ate never ending planes Cut off by a cracked firmament our Summer's Gate reign Sea monsters like a Cripp by the Island of Thoth It's still moving yall still with me right?.... Cough Young brothas my Saturn Matrix black can't date no Iggy's They tryna turn Gibbs and Benny into new Pac's and Biggie Pay attention these folks is evil Dedication to easels.... draw

MJ KICK

"Model Duck Waddle"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StNUu-ayD4Y

Hella yaass young mamas got a story to tell CreezyBae from Souf Kak and keep that A-T-L A heartless reinforcer, socery is an order Magic shows blow some smoke up ya butt with this quarter Nada no nothing so don't be posing & stuntin' Curriculum spins this axis so wtf is you askin'? Babe it can't be love, 'cause love  don't love a soul And all the likes and comments in the world gets old Now all you got in ya life that air mattress with the plastic cups That cash app still working don't it? Hit em up You selling selfies and an advantage time still passing Several years later recommended by the garbage tragic Been underground for decades it made me an animal That orange box cutter didn't come with no manual Annual, pussy makes the world go flat And plus we fuckin', don't do no homegurl chillin' jack (BIG FACTS)

.....(Shuckin' x Jivin')........

"The Roth"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFViVsYLK84

Eye swear to White God Eye love wasting humans time 7 summers later that dumb bitch God is a *crime* Pinot Noir and your whole outlook The way you teach the children, straight from a crackas book Yall slaves kill me with this top 5 bullshit The whole industry revolving door pulpits Talking bout they positive movements with negative fads Well tell the folks the whole truth you hypocrite scabs Let's pull the strings and the puppets out I don't even need the sticks Wasting time on the couch flickin' this BIC (5th bedroom) Eye love my brothers to death even wished them death (huh?) Now feel the release, illuminastic reps Get BIG nigga 500k nothing less Yes the FEDS watching 2012 InkTober droppin' Yeah yall wasting time repeat the Matrix get the grind? My peers once again 3D chasing bags Eye'm at the North Pole Holy Grail Tree of EVERLAST (punching bag) "Til this day" Creon built lanes even for trash Walking on the highway then loiter off the exit stashed

............ "that part cost" -Coach

Before you learn to win you need dimensional Facts Rule 1: The 5th plane is Universal crack Rule 2: The time machines run everything back Now the whole community is back on his sack Bar none with more bars and stars than an Admiral match it Enough lower back blows she need a flak jacket We know a Propain who got special stanzas trapmatic Lost tapes, still buried outlandish Ridiculous approaches got my yella ass banned (Red) Or am Eye, he too heavy banned to a skid crammed Jammed up at some port with no support scammed Seems like the customer got another custom plan With even more bars than an empty Fort Knox Pen carries weight like the sky blue Ox Or maybe it's a Bull, bullish trending up sell now The purgatory princess gets raped by their cash cow Sodomite Gentiles flag for jumping on the pile (my fault) The Kings circle of life Creon is Royalty Blacker than the thought of the roots of a Sequoia tree...

"You don't just Like"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poB4dtpTdLQ

Can't leave out the conscious folks on his way to 7 Creon stay jammin' harder than a Mac-11 Boppin' with that NoTep confidence From the old moon to Hapis stop your nonsense Masterful the pen glides prolific spill aesthetics   More Hennessy for Carolina Cardi twerk sessions Got crackas seeing red they hate the message Don't message me just tag it yellow trend your own blessings cave pathetics The rose bloomed solid gold it's stems were magnetic Thorns crystallized easter eggs they found a Holy relic Breaking Matrix codes exposing Lyor's racist ass said it Donate a dollar and help the black channel out reverend You love this world so much well try not to get me pissed From now on Eye'm coming after souls next level shit...

**Hook**

Slangin' yarn in the yard lets get back to positive "The left field neighbor is the hardest kid" Was the agrument convincing me to slaughter this & still ended up lonely cause' the targets split The youngins say "lit" the crop a Megan Markel wrist 50 niggas deep somebody wrist game dope Bruh Eye give the soldout hope Make a famous fucka have to cope With the bullshit around them straight smoke May the Lord Jacob guide Baphomet in his prime As the Sirius Avyon one Universal mind Co-exist on a platform without porn shine Los Santos musik "Shittin while we Flyin" Etheric values nigga, the fallen and the risen In God mode the affirmations of metaphysics.....

"Dreams Don't Exist"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2ge9degkI

Can we just accept the stars at night & how the vibration sound waves replicate light Is the speed of bright faster than a black idea Are my peers slow or simple just backed up fears Been droppin' content on 9/11's, 23's, and the 13's With more New Jack swings for gangsta leans She clappin' it with no jumping he blowing gangsta green Choreograph a whole dance routine Be on some happy shit hoes wanna say Eye'm mean Just don't wake me up walking dead heroin fiends Moving around the room fly girls and crush grooves Been a shadow all summer pullin' J-moves Eye'm smoking bomb ass weed feelin' crucial They made sidewalks for black frats the feelings mutual Eye'm getting stalked by some bomb ass coochie & some of them rich legit never been a groupie......

...... & if yall can't relate then sue me (500k)

"Normalize the knob...tf"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGlXCLQ9aIw

For the new 16 Creon charging 2 properties And this was just a temporary situation now pardon me That's just some little money, the prophecy They saying buddy there's no chance you son of a slut You son of a bastard, you son of a bitch, you son of a mutt Eye got an angel now Eye'm summing it up You son of that cut, you son of that step, you son of that raw We Suns of the 7 summers son of a pause.... .....Moving Islands of Thoth A moving violation will get your team caught The Summer's gate will get a sea monster for da free Lifetimes of limitless mastery Education,  the soul is sold separately They ran out of Isotol to stretch the peace The whole album ended ran out of doggystyle to stretch the grease Dumb lil boy this ain't no NBA Envy great, pay your fares then Camelot shares Run the highway like a state chair (votes) State of Emergency Profoundly unearthining The blackest clout to create words surfing on the nearest curb Lickin' souls like them lizards whether Eye'm slizzard or sober From Langford to the Boulder-crest up to Panola Teach my Sun don't be a slave, certified owners Initially lobbied for peace Mishaps happen summoning beast Iron throne let the Ice wall melt in the streets...

Peace

[datingadviceonreddit]

EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Ugh, I feel like shit. I feel like I cried out my eyes enough to finally go back to my stone cold don't care persona but it's not the case at all. My heart hurts. It's been years since I really liked someone & it's pretty rare for me to since for the most part I am an emotionally detached person. I'm still outgoing, friendly & shit but as a defense mechanism I suppress negative feelings or block any type of attachment. The rare time I do it's with someone that doesn't want the same as me SMH.TL DR (why are these put at the end? It makes more sense to put it on the top lol): Say fuck it & communicate what's on your mind if it concerns you. Even if you're too scared you'll scare them off, just communicate. Learn how to let go & not care if they'll stop talking to you, end it, etc. You'll save yourself a whole lot of pain from caught feelings, doubt & confusion in the long run. I know this is sounds like common sense but sometimes we put ourselves in denial or are too scared to. I just want to remind people, sometimes we just need that constant reminder/support/encouragement/affirmation. Shout out to Pm_Me_Your_Fave_Joke for his very useful advice. Read their post, it's good.​​Warning: this is going to be a long post.I only told one of my friends about what's going on. Not too much into detail since it's hard for me to be vulnerable. Which is exactly the reason I'm typing this post & getting too much into detail but trying not to at the same time since dude told me he installed Reddit recently. I doubt he would follow this subreddit & he doesn't go on his phone that much so I'm kinda sure I'm in the clear lol.I found writing/typing is a good outlet for me since it gives me time to reflect on situations, how I could've improved, what I could've done better, etc. It's been years since I wrote in a journal due to a breach of trust with an ex. I'll start writing in a journal again so I can put literally every detail (for the most part I got hella good memory, it's curse & not at the same time) & reflect on it. Useful ones I might post here but heads up my grammar sucks & I suck at writing.​I have this friend that I developed feelings for but never expressed them because he told me wanted casual dating. I was in denial thinking maybe over time he'll change his mind & want a serious relationship. In his defense I developed a crush on him before he told me he wanted casual dating. When we hung out the first time I thought we did as friends, as we were talking I developed a crush on him. I would like to emphasized cuz I feel it's important & makes a big difference; not a crush on looks (he's not even my type but physical attraction did come afterwards), a crush on his personality, opinions, demeanor, etc. I didn't & wasn't planning on telling him at all, at the end of us hanging out he kissed me & I fucking fell head over heels. ANYWAYS, we continued to date/talk. His texting sucks, mine does too but since I started liking him I prioritized his messages. We started dating during the holiday season so it was hard to see each other a lot. We have great chemistry, our personalities are almost the same. It's so easy to talk to him, there's never an awkward silence, we can talk about anything.He's a very affectionate person & I'm only affectionate with people I like so there was that imbalance that was really fucking with my head. I spent the months in silence trying to pull back my emotions/feelings while trying to figure out if he even likes me. His phone communication is spotty so it was fucking with me too. Add sex, cuddling & holding hands & you got a cocktail of confusion, doubt & total bliss. When I brought up the communication to his attention he agreed (he's been told in the past & it added to his past break ups) & we started talking on the phone more but it still wasn't consistent or enough. I was in a 6 year relationship, we had a kid together & lived together but a little before or after the first year my feelings went away. I stayed due to our son, family pressure (both sides) & financial reasons. The point I'm getting at is that I'm needy. I'm used to having that companionship & constant communication even though I had no feelings (I told him I loved him when I didn't. It's a long story. I was a shitty manipulative person in that relationship). It's not right for me to expect the same from him or anyone unless if we're living together. I need to get used to not having that constant communication & company.A few weeks ago his life started getting more hectic so he wasn't responding or go days without communication. We had four opportunities to see each other that didn't pan out. One was intentional on my part cuz I'm stupid & followed advice from online articles (not Reddit). What's sad is that after I intentionally didn't go, later that night I caved in & asked if he was still available. He said no so I quickly ended that conversation to avoid any further embarrassment, god I disappoint myself sometimes 😖 2/3 of the other times it's up in the air, he says shit but who knows.The past few weeks I've been really caught in my feelings. I've been smoking an unhealthy amount of cigarettes & drinking too much. It's been close to everyday drinking. I fucking drank from 10:30AM on Friday to 2AM Saturday & practically smoked a whole pack, #notGoals. I was really shocked I didn't wake up with a hangover for school the following morning considering I went to sleep at 4AM to wake up at 8.A few days ago I couldn't take it anymore & called him to discuss it. Fuuuuck it was so nerve racking, it is so hard for me to talk about my issues. Luckily he's very good at verbal communication & is sensitive so it helped me a lot with attempting. Even after we talked it out I still don't know if he fully understood everything I was telling him. There was a few times where he kept misinterpreting what I was telling him or he was missing my point. This is why I like doing these things in person instead of over the phone. I feel like with over the phone shit could be misinterpreted, getting distracted, body language & facial expressions missed & I feel like the brain kinda isn't fully paying attention since the other person isn't directly in front of you. I don't want to talk it out again so fuck it, I'll deal with it & I kinda already forgot what parts really confused me (exactly my point).After stumbling over my words for what felt like an eternity, I practically blurted out hella fast something along the lines of 'I really like you a lot as a friend and more but it doesn't seem like you're interested do you want to back peddle into being friends?". I told him that his lack of communication & us not seeing each other for a while was bothering me but since we're not in a relationship & only dating I didn't know how to approach that. This is where I felt like he wasn't understanding what I was getting at. I kept asking him how he feels about me but he kept referring to liking me as a person & personality wise. On top of that, the way he was wording it or the way I was receiving it, I felt like he viewed us as friends while I thought we were dating... But it's like I'm pretty positive we were dating?! I don't date but I have an idea of what it is based off what friends tell me. Plus, he was the one that mentioned casual dating in the first place!! I wanted to know if he ever liked me more than a friend. One time when we were hanging out at his place talking, he was cleaning dishes & I was chillin on his couch, out of nowhere, not even close to what we were even talking about, he literally said "you know I really like you a lot right?" I was literally stuck like a deer in headlights & said "oh, I wasn't sure if you did or not" *double face palm* Anyways, we were on the phone so I can't hear crystal clear but I heard him say 'commit to the relationship' but he can't cuz of all the shit that's going on in his life & he doesn't know how long it'll take. Idk why I didn't ask for clarification, this is one of my issues is that I don't speak up. Idk if he said he doesn't want to commit or if he does want to commit. At the same time he said no so IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER (WTF BRAIN!).He explained that his work & shit that happened within the last year's been holding him up & he's hella busy cuz of it. He also felt the need to tell me what he's been up to for the past few weeks we haven't seen each other. Not to get into details but what he told me makes sense based off our previous hang out & our talks. He even told me about his female friend that stayed with him for a few days & how she's a 'gold star' in the lesbian world. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (liiiike okaaay..?) Last/2 week(s) ago we were on the phone & he mentioned her sleeping over at his for a couple of days. When he told me I didn't push it, question or get upset. It's normal for people to have straight friends of the opposite gender & not have sex (even if they were to sleep in the same bed). After we were done with that, we caught up, talked about bs. At the end of the call he asked if I got all the answers I wanted. I guess I did...?!? I mean yes, he did answer my questions but for whatever reason I still feel confused. Idk maybe it's just my feelings clouding my brain, it'll go away over time. Not part of phone convo: After everything, it's like yeah I understand his reasonings but it's like I don't care, I can help, I can try to help him manager his time better, help him grow. I want to help him, I like him. Wasn't meant to be. *sigh*We agreed to just be friends & 'continue to see each other'. He was the one that asked if we'll still continue to see each other, I automatically assumed yes in my head since that's what friends do? It's not like we're 'Facebook friends', I would assume we would hang out occasionally since we're only like 30 miles away from each other (we live in a metro area) & I already go to his city once a week for career stuff. For him, idk if he meant as FWD or as friends only. I'm constantly not voicing my thoughts. I seriously need to get my shit together. I'll find out if/when we hang out again.​So yeah, this is where I'm at. Fellow Redditors, do yourself a favor & learn from me. Voice your concerns. It sucks to put yourself in denial, constantly doubting yourself, constantly confused trying to read in between the lines, hold it in & be let down (lack of a better phrase). It is not his fault at all. I need to be better with communication & learn how to voice my thoughts even though I know it probably won't be in my favor. The beat goes on. It really fucking hurts right now but it'll get better with time. Smile now cry later type of shit. (if you got it, I fucking love you)I'm not sure whether or not I'll continue to date. I haven't dated for 1 1/2 years due to not being interested & working on myself. This happened on accident, I originally thought we were just going to be friends. I have exchanged numbers with most guys that approached me in person for the past few weeks. I thought talking to other guys would take my mind off dude but it wasn't the case at all. If anything it got me even more irritated since these men text back so much faster than him & myself. None of them interest me so meh. Idk if I want to get on a dating app, I refuse to use apps. I don't even have any type of social media other than Reddit, which kinda doesn't count since most of us are anonymous.Current mood: "In the rain" by The Dramatics (love me some oldies aaaand it's Sunday!). It's been raining here lately & it kinda sucks it hasn't rained yet today.If you made it this far you deserve a cookie. I'm using the post as an outlet since it's hard for communicate my feelings irl.Yall have a good Sunday & good luck with dating! Bieeee! via /r/dating_advice