#just ask me stuff 😂

[omppupiiras]

jerenneito 🩵

[daincrediblegg]

Trick or Treat!!!👻💀🎃

Send me an ask with the name of a character and “trick or treat” and I will either respond with a snippet of them from a WIP OR an associated headcanon from a fic I’m working on.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Happy Birthday Lulu!! I hope it's a wonderful one 💞

oh this is so sweet, thank you 🥺🥺💖

[dotster001]

To the anon that asked me a question about Elder God lore...please hold, I am writing a Bible...

[levon]

i have to constantly remind myself that there’s nothing wrong with taking more than 4 years to get a bachelors because well i am doing that but it’s very hard to feel good about my education journey when all the people i started with in my program are now graduating with internships in their bag and even jobs lined up 😂🤗

[stargazing-enby]

What is your main fandom? I once noticed you wrote "if Hellaverse was my main fandom", and I thought it was, so now I'm curious

Well, that's a good question 😂 my main fandom from 2017 to about 2022 was Harry Potter (more specifically Drarry), but... Between the awful JKR bullshit and the fact that my love for the ship slowly died down over time, I haven't been very active in the Drarry fandom for a bit. Still, I feel like most of my followers followed me for my Drarry fanworks originally, and still know me for that.

Now I'm waaaay more into Helluva Boss, and I do think it's becoming my main fandom. But since I created a sideblog/alternate ao3 account for it, it doesn't feel main. It feels like a side gig accidentally turned full time gig 😂

I can't completely let go of Drarry, though, because of how much it has shaped my adult life. I don't feel like creating for that ship right now, but if I ever do in the future, I will very likely still post it, just with a huge disclaimer that I have no respect for its creator or her views. So yeah, it's... complicated. 😅

[cashweasel]

🏨 gimme those blorbo rooms fdsfdsfsfsd, since it’s Pinterest can I ask for more than one? XD if so ima ask to Karimas and Shaheens OH and also Gideons (low key I know what valens/yazans looks like but its a good excuse for u to get to share) so if u want to Valens and Yazans wild be fun 😌

K BYEEE <3 😘

LOLL im glad you asked and yes i will give you all of them 😌😂😂

Karima: she’s obsessed with collecting room decor and she has a crochet corner, half of her decor is crocheted too honestly 😂 I think she also has a thing for animal print stuff esp curtains and pillow cases, she’d keep small ceramics stuff she made with daemon everywhere

Shaheen: idk why it was funny to imagine his college dorm lol he uses space very efficiently also his desk is very important 🧠

Gideon: his room is so big and so empty but he’s barely home so who cares, the only notable thing about it besides the diabolical toys collection on display is the display cabinet he keeps all his medals, plane models, pictures, uniforms etc in

Yazan: yazan’s room as you know is a Dumpster 😂 it’s impossible to find anything in there and it’s never tidy, also so many posters and records + ofc drum corner

Valen: very pretty but his room is an entire house in itself you need directions to where everything is 💀 Texas king bed with a canopy, mirror above bed/on ceiling, maximalist unique decor and very beautifully coordinated color wise. Also huge portraits of himself obviously lol

[OC headcanons: Picture Edition!]

[definitelynotshouting]

(Hunger au) I'm going into ecology and it's fascinating looking at your au's ecosystem, especially since this doesn't necessarily seem driven by natural selection and instead by just. The universe creating what it needs, with a purpose in mind. That's so different from our world that it's fascinating to think about the implications. Rather than existing to take advantage of and respond to resources and selective pressures, theyre basically creating said resources/pressures. The watchers are having to manually adapt to survive after a bottleneck effect, which to be fair even if there was natural selection they'd probably have to cuz adaptation takes a looong time in species with long reproductive cycles. Do they have a genome? Or are they just being arbiters of mutation themselves (by that i mean theres no genome so theyre changing their species themselves since theres nothing to mutate)? Do offspring inherit traits? What does this mean for natural selection (cuz like. If they survive differently depending on how their traits match up to the environment and selective pressures there is)? With the seekers gone are expected to have a population rebound barring any other selective pressures/fitness independent factors on their population? Their reproductive strategy seemingly aligns with the low pressure they're facing... I read a paper to understand this and it's really cool:

(From https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-42562-7)

They seem to be an r-selected species and invest a lot in their offspring, but they just naturally have low infant survival rates. This is the sort of species that does not do well in the long run so that adds urgency to their efforts to edit themselves.

All this to say that I'm rotating the concept of an ecological system that has one of ecology's core tenants (evolution) heavily altered/removed. Tis fascinating.

between you and chem anon im going to have a heart attack over sciency people looking at my silly au /lh

I really did want to go like vastly different from how our world works since this is such a video game setting-- it was really fun to noodle about what a universe made out of code instead of DNA would look like!!! and having the universe be quasi-sentient, affected by a form of evolution itself as well (thank you julien gough for the universe evolution theory that i have wholeheartedly adopted into my worldview).... idk its led to some very interesting worldbuilding for sure 😂😂😂

Watchers-- or any entity in this universe, actually-- dont really have a genome like we'd understand it. Instead, theyre made up of code and code blocks, which i guess would sorta mimic that to a certain degree, but its more tipped in favour of computer programming than biology. The whole au sorta just wholesale marries the two together, along with physics and chemistry (i am currently percolating on how crafting works in this au rn and my current idea involves the concept of the crafting table acting somewhat like a catalyst, which. okay dont take that as gospel yet i havent fully cooked on that one) etc etc etc.

But the Watchers did intentionally change their coding to help defend against the Seekers when they were being hunted into extinction!!! Watchers already had a natural affinity for deep coding, so while it took a lot of effort and caused a lot of damage to themselves, they managed to rapidly change their code structure (aka this universe's version of genetic makeup) to get better at, well. Watching. Seeing the Seekers coming far enough in advance to run before they got there became their primary defense against getting voraciously hunted, and by the end of it the Seekers starved out and went extinct bc they'd gotten so adept at avoiding them.

Offspring is interesting because in my mind at their base level (so genetically/code structurally speaking), Watchers are identical clones of each other. They reproduce asexually-- think uhhh mourning geckos and some species of aphids, which reproduce via parthenogenesis. So yes, in a sense they do inherit traits, but its in a direct line from the parent as a genetic copy. Their memory codes and surface code layers are what differentiate themselves from each other

Reading this chart is so interesting.... i'd say you're right in that Watchers would be considered an r-selected species!! I think if they werent like. Essentially made out of tissue paper thats constantly getting damaged and having to be repaired, they would be able to bounce back to the point of population rebound for sure. The problem with that though is there are only about 40 Watchers left-- thats how bad and out of control the situation got. And since they have such a long reproductive cycle, and such a high infant mortality rate, and their experiment with Grian went so wrong, AND the universe formed Listeners to replace them via direct competition (Watchers cant feed from Listener-infected Players!!), they are unfortunately headed right for extinction too.

Hopefully this makes a modicum of sense and isnt just me totally talking out of my ass wkdnjedjkejdke but i hope this answered most of your questions!!! Im really glad you like the direction ive taken this, its a lot of fun to conceptualize a world that works on different rules than our own :]

[mobius-m-mobius]

Keep rotating a theoretical fic in my mind where our Mobius ends up with the two kids to raise, and introduces Loki to them. However. This is one of the universes where Loki attacked New York, and the boys very quickly realize who he is. They are understandably disconcerted by this (although they trust Mobius too much to be genuinely frightened because this is a very angst!lite fic in my head), and while they are soon awed/delighted/amused by Loki, they decide to keep up the act for a bit, on the Thor-ish child's side because he wants to make sure his Dad's not being overly nice and innocent and putting himself in danger, and the Loki-ish child for initially the same reason; however he very quickly decides Loki's alright but keeps egging his brother on because he thinks making the grownups sweat is very funny. And oh boy is it working. Loki is sweating bullets, puling out all the stops, has never been so desperate for approval as he is from these two small children because how long will Mobius keep around someone who scares his kids?? Mobius is having a less bad time on the whole; he can tell his kids aren't horribly frightened (even if he can't seem to make Loki believe he's not just trying to calm him when he says so), but he sure is on edge. Keeps coming up with new elaborate strategies to facilitate at least baseline civility from his kids towards Loki (he struggles to quiet the nagging fear that if it goes on too long Loki might decide the unpleasantness of engaging with this central part of Mobius' life just isn't worth it). Thinks maybe it'd be best if they give the kids a bit of distance to adjust *cue Loki materializing in the room with a gaming console that won't be out for another month and worryingly realistic wooden swords and three new kid-friendly magic routines and would the kids like to meet his brother's buddy Hogun who can train them with those sw—" Most importantly, Mobius has got to put a stop to this because he's pretty sure that whatever it started as this has developed into his children's scheme to manipulate a god into making them the proud owners of a sailboat and a horse. And it's working.

Anon thank you for giving me enough life to get through the upcoming day 😂💖

Honestly even though it's not something I see Mobius wanting in series I'm obsessed from a fic perspective with the thought of him stepping in to take care of the kids perhaps after Don gets taken by the TVA after his nexus event?? Then because he's always been smitten by minor facts like Loki taking over a major US city he doesn't really consider the impact that's had back on the timeline while it's always in the back of Loki's mind, so when it comes time to make introductions Loki assumes any nervousness or hesitation is because of his reputation when in reality Mobius is just worried they'll be upset he's been clearly dating this entire time and didn't say anything 😅

Cue Mobius being pleased the cautious greetings and wide eyed stares being passed back and forth are pretty much the best case scenario here while the kids instantly enter the exact situation you described of cautiously then much, much more boldly testing exactly how dedicated Loki is to their dad, first out of concern then just to push the boundaries of how much cool stuff they can get after realizing how amazing Loki is and how much they like spending time with someone who gets the need for chaos lmao.

(Cue Mobius not being so pleased when the house starts magically expanding like a Tardis to fit increasingly large and at times alarming sentient objects that were definitely not there when he made breakfast and no one's convincing him otherwise but who would want life any other way 🤣)

[aclowntiny]

No i totally agree with the nth member but only if its a male group with a female member. No. It has to be a male member, its legit weird otherwise.

Exactly! I feel like if a bg had ONE female member it would get bad reactions??? Ranging from shipping, her being treated weird by some fans, a lot of scrutiny having to go into dorms & how they interact, etc. & some people would probably be upset watching the male idols dance & be close with a girl smh 🤦🏻‍♀️ I think that already happened with Enhypen doing a choreo with female backup dancers I- 😔 mixed groups like Kard are awesome & I think it’s a great idea, but that group is balanced so it’s a 50-50 ratio for a reason! (& it’s not a woman issue- It would be just as weird for, say, Blackpink, Everglow, Red Velvet, any girl group to have one male member too!)

If I wrote x male reader I would probably feel different about it too, I just don’t feel fair doing that as a writer whose ID & experiences are as a lady 😅 or if I wrote for girl groups, it would be gg member x female idol!member. it seems more fun to do idols collabing with a different type of artist like a solo rapper, designer, singer, instrumentalist anyway hehe

[theflyingfeeling]

Fourtheenth Day of Gift-Giving: Fun Adventures

Prompt: A group project in school brings some unusual friends together

Yes, it's a high school AU, somewhat inspired by / based off this fic idea I had a while ago! I've never written a high scool AU before so pls be nice, also I've taken some liberties with the prompt again, because there's no group project per se, they're simply in the same chemistry class 😌

Banner made by @kraeuterhexchen again, thanks for suffering for me a bit I love youuuu <3

~

Aleksi muffled his third yawn in a row on his palms. Every single week at this exact time he regretted his promise to his father that he’d take at least four optional courses this school year on top of all the compulsory ones in exchange for a language course in Amsterdam next June. The tragedy was that his schedule was already so full with the compulsory courses alone that he could barely find gaps to fill with anything else at more humane times than at eight o’clock on a Monday morning, which was when his additional chemistry class was held. It didn’t help that none of his friends or acquaintances were taking the same class; Aleksi envied them for their superior life choices.

Chemistry could be alright at best, but in general it wasn’t among his favourite subjects. Rather than reaction equations, Aleksi was much more fascinated by the only other guy in the group he knew by name, who, by the happy coincidence of the two of them both being late to class on the first day, ended up being his lab partner. He didn’t know Olli because they were buddies, quite the contrary, in fact; one of Olli’s friends was still bitter about Aleksi standing him up regarding a music project (which had been but a case of bad communication, of which Aleksi was deeply ashamed, even though in the eyes of his own friends it had been ‘such a big-dick move to put that cocky emo loser back in his place lol’), so Aleksi wasn’t exactly surprised that Olli never replied to his sleepy greeting on Monday mornings. Thinking back to it, Aleksi couldn’t recall the boy saying anything at all during the chemistry classes, so that by now he would’ve started suspecting Olli was mute, if it wasn’t for the times he had seen Olli laugh and joke about with his friends at recess. From the little Aleksi had heard when he had passed by the group in the school corridors, Olli had a soft, quiet voice, often blending under the much louder ones of his friends, which was why Aleksi had set making Olli speak to him as his main ambition for the course, rather than getting a high mark.

“Morning,” he said to Olli like he did every Monday, and like every Monday, Olli barely glanced his way. What made this Monday different from all the other Mondays was that Aleksi could’ve sworn he had seen Olli nod at him this time, sort of in a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of way, although it may as well have been just his tired brain making things up. Nevertheless, it gave Aleksi the spark of hope that had him sit up straight, ready to converse Olli’s ears off in case he finally happened to be in the mood, but before he could open his mouth to ask Olli about his weekend, the teacher started the lesson by shoving hand-outs on their tables.

That day, however, Aleksi was determined to succeed in his plan at long last, even if he had to get a little creative.

While Olli was concentrating on keeping his eyes open as the teacher explained the theory behind the day’s experiments, Aleksi picked up his pencil and wrote on the corner of Olli’s hand-out:

Hi! :)

The anticipation nearly had him tremble as he waited for Olli to react in any way; for the longest time, bordering Aleksi’s patience, Olli did nothing but stare at the letters Aleksi had scribbled. He still didn’t look at him, still didn’t say anything or – god forbid – smile; he just blinked at the single word that had appeared in the corner of his paper.

Then, after a million years in Aleksi’s experience, he grabbed his own pencil.

hi

Those two letters alone made Aleksi feel like a winner already.

How are you?

Still keeping his eyes firmly on the paper, Olli seemed to be pondering his answer for a while.

good

Aleksi wondered if Olli was as terse speaking up as he was in writing.

Great to hear! I’m doing good as well :) Do you have a long day on Mondays?

Exactly like a moment earlier, Olli did nothing but stare at their brief written conversation. Aleksi wanted to believe that Olli was just about to write his answer but was ruthlessly interrupted by the teacher ordering them to walk over and look closer as she’d perform an example experiment for them to later mimic.

They didn’t get a chance to continue their little chat later on in the lesson, and they never spoke during the practical experiments they were asked to do – or rather, Olli never spoke, despite Aleksi’s best efforts to at least have him answer some simple yes-or-no questions, such as ‘do you want to try first?’ or ‘can you pass the pipette?’ or ‘oh fuck, do you think we should tell the teacher?’ when their experiments sometimes failed unexpectedly. The best Aleksi had gotten out of Olli was a suppressed snort when the other day Aleksi had accidentally spilled some red colour additive on his brand-new Off-White t-shirt.

“Quit laughing, or I’ll tell everyone it’s your blood,” he had said in hopes of making Olli properly giggle, but it had seemed to have the opposite effect, for Olli hadn’t let out a single sound for the rest of class after that. Later, Aleksi had wondered if it had been because Olli was scared Aleksi actually might, and to prevent his friends from getting wind of them being lab partners – because clearly he was that opposed to the idea of being associated with Aleksi – he had firmly kept his lips sealed for the rest of the class and all the ones that followed it.

This day, someone must have put something in Olli’s breakfast porridge, however, because when the class was dismissed, Olli spoke in his low, quiet voice, not even directly at Aleksi, but more to his general direction, so that Aleksi knew the words were addressed to him.

“See ya.”

“Yeah, see ya!” Aleksi replied, perhaps a little too eagerly, rolling his eyes in frustration when Olli hurried out of the classroom.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

~*~

The next Monday, Aleksi decided to go past formalities and straight to the point to get Olli to interact with him.

Had a nice wknd? :) 

Aleksi was most definitely too optimistic for his own good, but he had a feeling Olli didn’t take half as long to answer this time, even though his reply remained brief.

yup

Literally on the edge of his seat, Aleksi waited for Olli to elaborate on his reportedly ‘nice weekend’ – in vain. He rolled his eyes and picked up his pencil again.

What did you get up to?

Olli flipped pencil in his fingers like one would do with a drumstic, clumsily, almost dropping it on his desk. Aleksi saw an attractive blush slowly spread on Olli’s cheeks and hoped it wouldn’t discourage Olli away from the budding conversation. 

At last, Aleksi’s patient waiting was rewarded.

went to see a gig

Aleksi clenched his pencil into his fist out of sheer excitement. If there was a topic Aleksi could’ve chatted about for hours on end, it was music, his first and (so far) only love. He knew Olli played in a band and was sure that if he only could somehow make Olli lower his walls for him, they might actually find a lot to whisper about to pass the time a bit more merrily on Monday mornings.

So cool! Who did you see?

Olli didn’t keep him waiting for long, which Aleksi decided to take as a sign of Olli also being keen on their current conversation topic.

If only Aleksi knew how to help Olli get out of his shell a little more.

a friend’s band

Aleksi nodded, careful not to appear too enthusiastic or intrusive to scare Olli off, now that he had gotten him to write more than one word at a time.

Any good?

The teacher was just about to have the class gathered around her table again, so instead of a thorough review of the music show, Olli only jotted down a wonky yup in response before hurrying to the front of the classroom. During the whole rest of the class, Aleksi was not given another chance to fish more out of Olli’s weekend.

Well, he sighed to himself, standing up to join his coursemates, another Monday, then. 

~*~

Later that day, sort of by coincidence (of having purposefully lingered around the music classroom on the pretext of asking the music teacher about an upcoming extra credit class), Aleksi learnt Olli’s band had a practice slot in the music classroom on Monday evenings. His plan was not to spy on Olli, but he figured he might as well use this newly-acquired information to squeeze a little more out of Olli in their next chemistry class.

Any plans after school?

Only when he noticed Olli freeze upon seeing the question on the margin of his notebook, Aleksi realised how it must sound like to him, so out of the blue.

Just curious btw :) 

Olli seemed to hesitate before answering.

band practice

Aleksi hid his smirk behind his palm.

Hook, line and sinker, he thought to himself, the pencil in his hand itching to write down all the follow-up questions he had prepared. By the end of the class, Aleksi congratulated himself, for his plan to have Olli blabber about their common interest had worked out splendidly: Aleksi had learnt, for example, that Olli had been playing the bass for seven years already and that their band was actually working on their first EP, which Aleksi was genuinely impressed by. What really had made Aleksi feel like he was on top of the world, however, was when he noticed the smallest hint of amusement on Olli’s face; he still hadn’t managed to lure Olli to look him in the eye, but he had made him smile, which was perhaps even better.

The rest of the week Aleksi spent barely paying attention to what his friends were talking or laughing about in between classes, too busy searching for his chemistry class conversation buddy with his eyes. He did so every day, even though he was convinced the principal granting him the rest of the semester off with no consequences was more likely than catching Olli looking at him.

That was, until he did.

It was only a fleeting moment in time as they passed each other in the canteen and over before Aleksi’s heart could settle back to its place from his throat where it had jumped up to. He couldn’t tell since when his lab partner looking his way had started rousing this kind of reaction in him; then again, Olli had never really glanced his way before, so how could he have known?

Maybe that was also why Aleksi hadn’t noticed the shade of Olli’s irises until now. They were dark grey, he could tell, serious but not cold by any means. He couldn’t wait to take a closer look at them the next time he was given the chance.

Perhaps it was time for Aleksi to change his tactics.

~*~

“Hi Olli,” Aleksi said as soon as Olli walked up to his desk the next Monday. As if surprised to hear his name spoken out loud, Olli looked up at him, and Aleksi was granted another glimpse of those mysterious eyes.

Olli didn’t let him rejoice for too long, though, before turning his gaze to his desk as he sat down.

“Hi.”

And that was it: their first spoken conversation (in which Olli had also participated), despite Olli avoiding his gaze for the rest of the class, as was his right. Aleksi supposed. Even Aleksi himself was too giddy about the interaction to think of anything else to say.

It was almost ridiculous, if he was honest with himself. Yet, for the first time during the whole autumn semester, Aleksi was looking forward to the early Monday morning chemistry class.

~*~

Within the next couple of weeks, their conversations evolved from exchanging casual greetings (‘Hi Olli!’ ‘Hi…Aleksi’) to deep discussions about the current events in their lives (‘How’s it going?’ ‘Good.’ ‘Awesome’), which was equal parts exciting and frustrating to Aleksi. His heart would do the silly bouncing-up-to-his-throat thing whenever Olli blessed him with a quick glance of his dark eyes (Aleksi could swear they were a different shade every time he looked), but the moments only ever lasted for a second or two at a time. On the bright side, Olli would no longer rush out of the classroom to get out of having to perform any more small talk, but instead took his time putting his books and pencils back in his bag carefully, even if Aleksi never managed to open his mouth in time before Olli would make his inevitable escape. Aleksi suspected that it was, indeed, the newfound thrill of being graced with the occasional, fleeting look from Olli that rendered him speechless and caused him to miss his chance of getting to talk with Olli at least until they’d reach the classroom doorway. From there onwards they’d go their separate ways anyway, to their different worlds: Aleksi to one in which Olli was a moody emo kid with no sense of humour (or so Aleksi had been told by Isac who went to the same biology class with Olli), and Olli to one in which Aleksi was probably portrayed as a self-satisfied snob who once did his friend dirty.

The Monday after that, Olli never walked in through the classroom door, no matter how intensely Aleksi stared at it. When the days passed and Aleksi hadn’t caught a glimpse of the boy by Friday, he became worried, to the extent he considered walking up to Olli’s friend group to ask about him. He was almost certain that the one with the short platinum-blond hair might have actually told him, or at least he looked the least intimidating out of them all. One of them was almost two heads taller than Aleksi, so he saw it best to stay out of his way, although his smile – in those rare occasions he did smile – was anything but frightening. The one with the baggy clothes Aleksi had once heard rapping at a house party was tiny in comparison, but something about the angle of his eyebrows gave Aleksi the chills. Joel was obviously out of the question; Aleksi would probably never dare speak to him after The Incident. Joonas, on the other hand (Aleksi knew his name because he and Joel often squabbled loudly, with Joel shouting his name in bewilderment, his obvious affection for the boy poorly masked as annoyance), seemed like the kind of guy who would whisper you the right answer just in time before the teacher’s drill of a stare would bore a hole through your skull.

Taking a deep breath to brace himself, he watched as Olli’s friends were stepping in the Swedish classroom. As if on cue, Joonas was the last one about to walk through the door, and seeing his chance had come, Aleksi zoomed over and grabbed him by his sleeve.

“Hey,” he said once he had pulled Joonas aside, hidden from the disapproving looks of Joel and company.

“Huh?”

“Do you happen to know where Olli is?” Going straight to the point seemed like the best strategy to get anything out of Joonas, in case Aleksi had completely misjudged him and he was about to be punched in the face.

“He’s caught the cold. Why?” Knitting his brows and eyeing Aleksi up and down, Joonas seemed sceptical about Aleksi’s intentions, to say the least.

(It had Aleksi wondering if any of his own friends would act as protectively about him, but that was a matter of concern for another day entirely.)

“Ummmm… I have his chemistry homework for him.”

Aleksi could almost hear the cogwheels turning inside Joonas’ head until his expression brightened.

“Aaah… Right! Yeah, I suppose you would.” (Whatever Joonas meant by that.) “I’m gonna go over later today to see how he’s doing, so I can forward the message for you.”

“Oh, great! Thanks!” Aleksi said, as if he had any clue what they had actually been given as homework four days ago.

Ironically, Aleksi was saved by Joel calling for Joonas from inside the classroom.

“I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” Joonas winked at him, and then he was gone. 

Joonas never did catch up with him, however, and so Aleksi was saved from the embarrassment of admitting he hadn’t been following their chemistry lesson after all, more or less due to the disappointment of not seeing Olli after having spent the entire weekend planning what he’d say to him. Not knowing if Olli would be attending the upcoming Monday’s class either, the weekend went by slower than ever, which normal-Aleksi would’ve embraced; this new, strange, maybe-crushing-on-his-quiet-lab-partner-Aleksi was on pins and needles.

~*~

There it was again, that awful skip of his heart, when Aleksi saw Olli enter the classroom on Monday. So relieved he was that he had no means to tone down the excitement in his greeting.

“You’re here!”

Olli looked up at him but said nothing, his silence a pang to Aleksi’s chest. His joy upon their reunion changed into defeat in less than a second, and Aleksi felt like a right idiot for having thought Olli, too, might have been waiting to see him again.

Suddenly fascinated by the cover of his chemistry course book, Aleksi put his head down to hide his disappointment. He was already settled for staring at the abstract drawing for the next 75 minutes to avoid more heartbreak, but then a slip of paper appeared in front of him.

can’t speak doctor’s orders

On his face, Olli was wearing a kind, small smile. In that instant, Aleksi forgot what he had even been so saddened about. He flashed Olli a smile in return and started searching with his eyes for a pencil; he would’ve felt too weird talking to Olli out loud without him being able to answer. Tragically, it seemed that in anticipation of possibly seeing Olli again after so long, Aleksi had forgotten to pack his pencil case. Noticing this, Olli offered him his own, the same, tiny smile still on his lips.

Shame! You’re usually so talkative

He knew he was taking a risk poking fun at Olli’s quietness, but to his great relief, Olli’s smile widened and his shoulders twitched in a voiceless chuckle. Encouraged by this, Aleksi continued with an equally risky revelation.

I missed you in class last week

Having written down the words, Aleksi could barely look at Olli as he felt his cheeks heaten up. He let Olli take back his pencil from his fingers, as well as the paper slip from his desk.

Olli spent almost a minute writing down his reply, erasing and rewriting, until he finally passed the paper back to Aleksi, immediately directing his face to the opposite side of the classroom.

missed you too

Aleksi had never seen three words so pretty in his life.

~*~

What followed next was an entire week of unexpected encounters between the two lab partners, as if the universe was purposefully making them cross each other’s way to make up for the past seven days of not seeing each other. On Tuesday, their shoulders brushed walking past each other in a crowded corridor. On Wednesday, they were returning their trays at lunch at the exact same time and exchanged brief smiles. On Thursday, they almost ran into each other at the restroom door, which is when Aleksi learnt Olli had regained his voice, mumbling a small ‘oops’ after having bumped into Aleksi.

On Friday, at the last recess of the day, Olli’s friend Joonas grabbed Aleksi by his wrist and pulled him into an empty classroom.

“Wait here,” he ordered, and utterly confused as he was, Aleksi had no choice but to obey.

A moment later Joonas returned, pushing a red-cheeked Olli into the room before promptly leaping back to the corridor, closing the door behind him.

For one long, anxious moment, neither of them said anything, Aleksi because he was still too baffled by the latest turn of events to open his mouth, and Olli because he was… Olli.

“Ummmm…” Olli finally said, his voice a little hoarse, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “I just… ummm… there’s this… band… tomorrow…”

Aleksi had to bite his lip, both at how adorable Olli was, fumbling with his fingers as words fell out of his mouth one by one, as well as to keep himself from blurting out ‘yes’ before Olli even got around to asking him anything.

“And I was just… thinking if… ‘cuz I have an extra ticket… so… I thought maybe you–”

“Yeah!” To Aleksi’s turmoil, his tongue could sometimes be quicker than his brain. “I mean… what?” 

Behind the classroom door, someone clicked their tongue.

“Yeah, ummmm.” Olli scratched the back of his neck. “So yeah. Would you… like to come? To the show? On Saturday? With me? Maybe? I mean, of course you already have plans–”

“I don’t!” Aleksi hurried to say. “I can come. But… will your friends be coming too though?”

Olli shook his head. Aleksi decided not to dwell on what the evident horror in Olli’s eyes was a sign of. It might have been because he, too, thought it was a little too soon for Aleksi and Joel to make amends – or maybe he was just that terrified of being seen with Aleksi in public.

“No, they won’t. I mean, Joonas was supposed to, but he, ummmmmm, he’s going… ummmm…” Olli’s gaze wandered towards the door, as if for help.

“To my great-uncle’s funeral!” the door whispered at him.

“To his great-uncle’s funeral,” Olli confirmed.

“A-ha,” Aleksi nodded. “Sorry for your loss,” he said to the door.

“...Thanks,” the door replied. Holding back his laughter, Aleksi turned back to Olli who, for the first time since Joonas had urged them on the stage of their current scene, was looking at Aleksi, his round eyes expectant and hopeful for Aleksi’s final answer. Aleksi thought of taking a step closer to him, perhaps even gently touching his hand, but decided against it before his brain would command his limbs to make such reckless movements.

“Guess I’ll see you on Saturday at…?”

“At six. At Sandro’s.”

If Aleksi didn’t get a wink of sleep the following night, it wasn’t only because of excitement; the moment he laid his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, his mind was filled with pictures of a boy with twinkling eyes and a bashful smile, keeping him awake until he fell asleep to them.

~*~

Aleksi couldn’t bring himself to care if he looked a little dumb, smiling to himself and leaning his chin on his palm at eight o’clock the next Monday. Even the teacher announcing a pop quiz could not have washed away the dopey grin that had been painted on his lips since Saturday evening.

He was smiling at the way Olli’s eyes had brightened when he had spotted Aleksi in the crowd. He was smiling at Olli’s shy offer to get him a Pepsi. He was smiling at how star-struck Olli had looked when the band had first got on stage and the way he had lost himself in the music, rocking his head and closing his eyes as if to let the bass lines and guitar riffs swallow him whole. The band had been excellent, Aleksi had to agree, but more than half the time, all Aleksi had seen or heard was Olli.

And for the last three minutes of the show, all Aleksi had felt was Olli; more specifically, he had felt Olli’s hand searching for his, fumbling and hesitating until it finally clasped Aleksi’s during the final song of the band’s setlist, a melancholy rock ballad that prompted lighters and cellphone flashlights to be lit. In Aleksi’s eyes, they were all dim in comparison to the glimmer in Olli’s eyes.

Lying in his bedroom later that evening and throughout the entire next day, Aleksi had still felt the warmth of Olli’s hand in his, even though they had let each other go as soon as the stage lights had been turned off.

“Hi.” Olli’s voice brought Aleksi from Saturday evening back to Monday morning. 

“Hi,” he simply answered. There were a million things he wanted to say to Olli, but his sleepy, happy brain was still working on finding the exact words.

The smile on Olli’s face told him he’d have time to figure it out, at his own pace.

In the meantime, Aleksi could always improvise, and so he picked up his pencil.

♡

They both stared at the tiny heart on the corner of Olli’s notebook, and just when Aleksi was about to convince himself he had made a terrible mistake, Olli took the pencil out of his hand.

♡ ♡

[autumnapricot]

I looooove your writing!! I'm so excited for whatever you decide to gift us next <3

I have a question though, and I mean this in an inspired and curious, not an offensive way: Do you ever have a moment when you're like... what am I doing here writing rpf omegaverse mpreg fanfiction on the internet? I have some ideas and want to write too but I always feel a little weird at the idea because most people I know in my life would shame every aspect of that and think it's so weird, you know? :(

no no no, anon, listen. wrong mindset baby. your friends? ordinary. boring. they got nothing going on for themselves. you? extraordinary. creative and dedicated and blessing other people with your art. 💅

on a more serious note, no worries i‘m absolutely not offended in any way, because yes, sometimes when i think about it too much i do kind of like stop and think…damn. what am i doing? people my age are actually having babies and buying houses sheesh.

and i think unfortunately writing fanfiction is shamed by society, like it‘s accepted for teenagers, but it‘s seen as weird when older/ grown people do it, which is very much a shame itself. i personally admit that no one irl really knows i write fanfic, not even my partner (i will grill his arse rn and say that he knows that i‘m writing but not what exactly, and if he ever went through my docs on the phone…his english is not good enough to read it lol) or my best friend or other friends because yeah, i too think they would think of it as ‚weird‘ or ‚childish‘

however. i love writing. and if i feel inspired to write, i will. and i know that i have read so so many fanfics from other people in my life that even were more amazing, thought-through, and written beautifully than actual books by actual authors, and it would be an absolute shame if i would‘ve never been able to read them because these talented authors felt too scared to write and post them.

so if i may give you some advice—do it anyway. whatever you love to do, do it. your friends think it‘s weird? they don‘t have to know, (lovingly) fuck them. write the things you want to write if that is what you want to do. i sound like an old granny here haha but personally i‘ve held myself back in the past from so many things because i was too afraid of what some friends would say or if anyone would judge it, only to later on reflect and realize, fuck, i would‘ve loved to do that and i regret putting other people‘s opinion of how to enjoy my life over my own.

long story short—write all the damn fanfics you wish to! life is too short! let the f1 men get each other pregnant! 💃🏼💅🥰

[sneezarify]

idk why but for like 6 years now i’ve been pronouncing your name like “sneeze fairy” 💀💀💀💀 there’s sum wrong w me

looool! No, but wait, I totally see how that’s happened 🤣.

[rukiadriedhisrain]

Hi, I misread your name as "rukia dried his raisin" and spent like a solid minute wondering wtf kind of innuendo that was

haha 😂 this made my day honestly!😊

[cashweasel]

🚕 for the oc game for all your ocs!!

LOLL ok so valen has 2 cars atm one of them is a jacked truck which i think is great for him bc he’s a terrible driver and it will help ppl avoid him and also not totally wreck his car if he hits a curb or something 💀 the other is a very sleek convertible cause yeah 💅🏻 they’re both absolutely custom made

Gideon I think is a mustang guy, there’s nothing very special about his car at first glance just a regular black paint job then bam! Sun hits and you realize the boring black is actually vinyl that changes color in the sun FKSKAJDK he’s very proud of it and the reactions it gets. His bike doesn’t have that coat but it do have accents which I think are the same color the sun vinyl changes to 🤔

Karima, Shaheen and Yazan respectively fksksjdk

I love karima I love her red mini cooper it holds sm great memories she also has red mirror dice to match it and cushions and everything else lol her car is really pretty on the inside but gets cluttered so fast, shaheen has a regular family suv he’s a dad of 4 he needs something to fit all of them in 😂 yazan also has a nice car but it’s not too flashy, he doesn’t decorate or do anything to it just lets the engine rev speak for itself lmaoo

Angie has a crappy Corolla I’m sorry lmaoo,, hyacinth has a monster truck and it’s honestly terrifying how big this thing is idek if it’s even legal to drive something like this on civilian roads

[Oc headcanons: Picture Edition!]

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

came back to tumblr just to find that @worldsnotsaid is gone? girl whyyy☹️

Hi anon!

It was kind of abrupt, and I do apologize for that -- truly. It's why I am tackling this ask! But, it was very freeing to delete that blog, and it felt as if a weight had truly been lifted from my chest to see it go. Bittersweet, yes! But absolutely needed. Constantly seeing asks box jump from 300 to 400+, the constant hate messages, the inboxes -- it was all too much for me to tackle, and honestly, it felt as if my blog was just no longer productive at that point.

I am always 100% behind the points made on that blog, and the problems in SJM's writing. My passion for those points will never fade or change for that matter. But I think the book community and publishing are just not ready for an actual change -- and it's tough to have the conversation about racial and abusive themes in books when people pick and choose when to chastise and ignore. It's literally like having a conversation with a wall. I can't honestly have a conversation about tackling racism in the book industry when people can't even let go of a book series that isn't even well written. We aren't being militant about the problems in the book industry, and its exactly why it looks the way it does. I don't know, I think I've grown apathetic to it. The urge for docility among reviewers disguised as 'allyship,' the flip-flop about abuse and abusive themes in books. None of it makes sense. And it's like the legwork to make it happen just doesn't seem worth having someone constantly throw vitriol in your face. It just seemed like it becomes a tit-for-tat straw-man debate in the end, and that -- again -- isn't productive. 'Tamlin stans this' and 'Nesta stans that, and it was like ?? Can we just think outside of that? We can't complain about the way PoC are always treated in the story and then turn around and defend an author who would 100% kill them off and let her white character wear their trauma like a second skin. Like how serious are these conversations when the ones having them are unwilling to stop supporting the author propagating these harmful tropes to other authors. FBAA ran because ACOTAR walked; ACOTAR ran because Twilight walked. These harmful stereotypes in these books melded and made the environment we have today. And it is what is.

As another blog asked, I will not be returning to that blog as it was deleted. But there are so many beautiful and articulate antis in the tag that adeptly explain the problems in this series and in much clearer and more concise ways! My blog was a rambling mess anyways!

Funny addition: And do you know the sheer frustration of typing up an entire post that's 2000+ with links and citations talking seriously about abuse and racism and how its portrayed in the media just for someone to skim the post and make a follow-up, sub-post that starts with: 'Tamlin stans always think.' -- yeah never again.