#just a heads up I’m 18 LMFAO so maybe at least be 16+? :]

[dieouma]

THIS SOUNDS REALLY DUMB BUT.

I’m looking for friends to play roblox with!! If you wanna be friends, shoot me an ask? :o] We can exchange usernames maybe chat n get to know each other n shit!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

[hidden-highlands]

Hope you're ready for these Xenoblade asks!! You don't have to answer them all if it's too many. 6, 7, 9, 14, 18, 21, 24, 25, 36, 41!

omg angel thank u for all the questions!! <3

gonna chuck these under a readmore for length

6: Favorite location?

SATORL MARSH AT NIGHT UGH IT IS JUST SO DANG PRETTY ;;u;;

also Agniratha, the sheer gravity and atmosphere of that place was so.... unsettling, but in the best way

7: Least favorite location?

generally? most of the locations on Mechonis; after how diverse each new location on Bionis was, it felt like a bit of a letdown for each new area to have similar aesthetics and enemies. i cannot for the life of me differentiate between Galahad Fortress or Mechonis Field or Central Factory.

specifically? the Ether Mines. i played through that entire stretch of the game in, like, a 6-hour sitting, and kind of burnt myself out a lil towards the end.

9: Favorite part of the story?

gotta be Mechonis Core! even though i expected ~something~ to happen i was in NO WAY prepared for what was to come. the way that it completely flipped everything you thought you knew about the world and the story of the game on its head and just kept delivering sucker punch after sucker punch .... i had to pause the game to scream into a pillow afterwards. 

14: Favorite party member to play as?

Reyn because i like to stare at his muscles

i don’t have an outright favourite i don’t think, but i tend to cycle between Melia, Shulk, and Seven! i like Melia for reasons i’ve mostly listed below, Seven for the damage output of haste + speed shift + sword drones, and Shulk bc he is the main character and also My Son :’)

18: Favorite Arts to use?

i’m a huge fan of all of Melia’s elementals! i love how they add another layer of strategy to the gameplay, and it’s so satisfying taking down otherwise overlevelled / powerful enemies with her DoT attacks :’)

21: Favorite battle quote?

BORN IN A WORLD OF STRIFE!

AGAINST THE ODDS!

WE CHOOSE TO FIGHT!

BLOSSOM DANCE!

bonus points for the way it subtly relates to the overarching theme of the game :’’)

24: Favorite ship? ;)

SHULK / FIORA TO THE DAY I DIE THEY ARE PRECIOUS TOGETHER AND I WILL PROTECT THEM WITH MY LIFE

25: Favorite Heart-to-Heart?

i haven’t unlocked them all yet but oh my GOD the one between Shulk and Seven on the Fallen Arm ????? absolutely MELTED my HEART ??????? i instantly replayed it in the Event Theatre like three times just for the lines “none of it matters as long as i get to be with you. you’ll always be my [redacted]” i am going to CRY i love them so much ;;u;;

36: Least favorite game mechanic?

oh definitely the timed quests, while i love that they reflect the way that the game’s world is changed by the events of the story, i stressed myself tf out trying to complete as many of them as quick as possible bc i didn’t want to look up when they expired and risk spoiling myself but i also didn’t want to lock myself out of them. i definitely burnt myself out a little bit on Bionis’ Leg because of it, and i think i missed a few late-game ones because by that point i was just so tired of timed quests and just wanted to get on with the story lmfao

41: How did you come to know Xenoblade Chronicles?

oooh thank you for asking this one, i think it’s quite a cool story!! i’d just started watching Chuggaaconroy’s LPs back in 2014 when he started his playthrough of Xenoblade Chronicles, and i watched maybe the first episode or two before i realised that, fuck, maybe this was a game i really needed to play through myself. dumb bitch highschool me forgot about the tiny lil detail that i didn’t own a fucking Wii -- but then the 3DS port was announced! so i was like okay, i’ll get the 3DS version. except it was specifically for the New 3DS, and i only had an original -- so i figured i would wait a bit, save up some money, and grab a New 3DS when i went to upgrade my old one. except, so few (new) games were announced for the New 3DS that i couldn’t really justify dropping the ~$300 on an upgrade, and by the time i had the money the Switch was a thing, so i bought one of those instead. second-hand copies of Xenoblade used to be on sale at my local game store aaaall the time, and i cannot count how many times i would stare longingly at that $38 price tag and have to talk myself out of buying it in hopes of ‘”one day”’ having the appropriate system to play it on.

AND THEN. THE DEFINITIVE EDITION WAS ANNOUNCED. the hunch that 16-year-old Cat had was 100% correct; i am so so glad that i listened to it because playing through the game for the first time blind was a really special experience :’)

i have spent, no lie, 6 whole fucking years in anticipation of one day getting to play this game, and it was worth every dang second of the wait.

[easyobsession]

litg tag

I’m a thief! I’m a thief! Also I’m that girl who enjoys participating in things she wasn’t tagged in. So thanks @mrsrennellx​ ;D Also sorry if some of our answers are the same- I guess we share a brain!

1. Tim or Bobby?

This might get me some hate but I choose Tim. I stayed on the Gary track the entire season, and while Bobby was amazing there’s just something about Timye and his rap crew/stripper Spanish tours/wrestling career that I can’t forget. Both are brotp but Tim takes it for me.

2. Choose two Islanders (from any season) to be quarantined with, and why? 

Aside from my LIs, I’d say Chelsea and Priya, because they’re my two BFFs. All of the other girls either had some sort of hidden agenda or seemed sketchy at various points. That was a big issue I had with season 1- MC really had no super strong girlfriends. As much as I loved Jen at the end, I took the Levi route and things started off super rough between us. Priya and Chelsea were the only two genuine females I’ve played with.

3. How/when did you discover the game?

Literally like 2-3 weeks ago lmao

4. If you could rewrite a scene, what scene would you rewrite? 

Aside from, like, no Cherrygate because I was with Levi, I think I’d like in season 2 to have a bigger reunion with Gary when I return from Casa Amor. For me, I was with Henrick and Gary was with Chelsea and I stayed loyal (for Gary), and I would’ve liked for them to have a bigger reunion. I get why it was so subtle, but I would’ve liked a hug or something. I also would’ve liked the family phone interactions to be less cheesy and lame. And I would prefer more time with my LI at the reunion in season 1. 

5. Favourite challenge?

I liked the one near the end of season 2 where the couples were guessing answers about their future. I still call bullshit that Lottie and Bobby beat us, btw. Gary and I crushed it.

(Idk where 6 is, lol)

7. Describe your ideal S3 LI.

Well, I had Levi season 1, Gary s2, so maybe a ginger this time? Lmao. I have no clue. Whoever it is better be ready to win, because I want my 3-peat.

8. New or old Hannah? 

Um, new Hannah went after my man. Old Hannah at least waited until we weren’t coupled up anymore. Bitch can back right on off.

9. Who was dumped too soon? 

Priya. She’s a good soul, that one.

10. Jakub or Felix?

Do I have to choose? I don’t like either of them. 

11. Henrik or Lucas? 

I was actually in to Lucas and was sad when he left early, but once he came back he was way too forward and disrespectful of my relationship with Gary. Henrick was always kind to me. I didn’t hold any resentment when he brought back Blake because we were a friendship couple, I was just mad he chose me at all when I could’ve coupled back up with Gary. But yeah, my answer is Henrick because he seems less full of himself. 

12. Jo or Hope? 

I’m not Hope’s biggest fan, but Jo was dull as a pair of white socks. Nice enough, but I’ll pass.

13. Lottie or Priya?

I was all for Lottie and girl code at the start until she fucked that up ten times over. Queen Priya always.

14. What originally drew you to your LI?

I’ll be honest- I first picked Gary because he was the cutest. I like a big buff guy, and he looked like a sweetheart. (I was right.)

15. Favorite LI of all time (both seasons)?

Gary. Because my other LI was Levi and he fucked up a lot. Gary did too, but only at the start. Levi continued to fuck up as time passed. Gary only got sweeter and, thus, more attractive. Plus, Gary very much has no clue how amazing he is, which is also attractive. He thinks he’s just an average guy that doesn’t deserve much, which is why I (and my MC) like him so much.

16. Favourite scene/day?

I know I said I wanted more from it, but when Gary walks out and sees MC didn’t bring anyone back from Casa Amor, I just lose it every time. TOO CUTE.

17. Who had the best character development?

Hard to say. I wanted to say Priya, but really she was just misunderstood at first. Cherry came a ways as well, though I’ll never be her top supporter after Cherrygate. Gary evolved a lot- he found some confidence and really came into his own. By the end of the season he was a strong and equal partner for MC, which says a lot.

18. One thing that irked you about the game?

Mine loads too slow lmfao. Also Hannah never apologized for being a hoebag and going after my man. She just moved on to Henrick and acted like everything was normal and we were besties. Like HELLO? 

19. Season 1 reunion or Season 2 wedding?

Season 2. Season 1 we got literally a single scene with our LI and I was pissed. 

20. Describe domestic life or a head-canon about/with your LI.

MC playing her instrument for Gary and him being super duper heart eyes. Maybe even performing something for him at the wedding reception, or that night- on the beach maybe? It might have to be somewhere private because I can totally see Gary jumping her as soon as she’s done.

21. Guess some of the Islanders surnames?

No. ;D

[nightwving]

i was tagged by @mollyweasly​ to answer these questions, tysm!! i did most of them the other night but got distracted and am posting them now lmao

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? idk, i’ll say maybe a 7 or so? honestly i’m feeling pretty decent for the first time in a while

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #ohfuck

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? that’s tough... i would never want to actually subject anyone to the horror or doing that with me, but i guess either tom holland or sebastian stan??

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? “a juxtaposed comedic disaster”

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? shit man i usually overshare pretty much everything, but i guess one thing would be that i got hit straight in the head by a golf ball while on a course with my parents when i was in middle school?? it came from way far out but miraculously didn’t seem to crack my skull or give me too bad of a concussion. my dad said it hit so hard that it sounded like it hit the pavement. now i have severe anxiety near golf courses and when things are flying near my head in general lmfao

6. what’s your wake up ritual? i check my phone real quick and then immediately go to pee and brush my teeth. depending on the day and whether or not i’d be late for class back when things were normal, i might shower lol. then either get dressed real quick and go to class or, these days, play video games or get on my computer

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? i’ll usually wrap up whatever i’m doing, make sure my fan is on, lock my door (when i’m at school), strip, take some melatonin, lay down, set my alarm, plug in and then get on my phone for a while until i (hopefully) get sleepy

8. what’s your favorite time of day? i love the evening around sunset or so but i also just love the night in general, especially when things get quiet in the am

9. your go to for having a good laugh? tiktok

10. dream country to visit? ummm... honestly canada 😂 or germany or something

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? last spring i spontaneously won an award in the department that i work for at school because my friends insisted that i get one for all the work i do on the newspaper and for my work study and stuff. they had to work some stuff around because i’m not actually a major and that’s who the awards are for, but they all agreed to give it to me at the ceremony and i was NOT expecting it whatsoever. it was one of the most amazing moments ever especially since i struggle with finding a niche and having faith in myself

12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers!!

13. vintage or new? i love vintage but that shit can be hard for me to find

14. who do you want to write your obituary? probably a friend idk i feel like my family would say some dumb corny shit lmao

15. style icon? i have quite a few but slash or duff mckagan from 80s GNR would be a couple ok don’t judge me. and john bender from the breakfast club

16. what are three things you cannot live without? internet, my ps4, and friends

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? chili or garlic powder

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i don’t even make dinner for myself lmao but if i really had the motivation, probs stan lee, carrie fisher, and my tiny son josh bassett

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? being institutionalized against my will and/or death before i’m ready/feel like i’ve done something worthwhile.

20. window or aisle seat? depends tbh

21. what’s your current tv obsession? i’m not really on a kick with it right now, but i’m slowly making my way through the clone wars in chronological order.

22. favorite app? tiktok

23. secret talent? uhh... i guess a lot of people would assume that i’m not athletic because of my weight but i’m actually naturally pretty sporty and can still be when i really feel like it

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? well i’ve tried to summon spirits in multiple different places, attempted to break into an asylum with my ex, done a pregnancy test with an old friend in a burger king bathroom... idk if those count as “adventurous” but that’s about all i got as of right now in my life

25. how would you define yourself in three words? eclectic, resilient, and real

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my denim jacket

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? also denim jacket lol

28. a superpower you would want? i debate this often... i think shapeshifting would be cool but also telekinesis

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? movies and stuff i guess

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? probably that it’s okay to do things at your own pace and to not be so hard on yourself when you aren’t doing things the same way as others

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? wear some better fuckin clothes lmao

32. a book everyone should read? bruh idk i don’t really read anymore, harry potter i guess 😂

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being honest and real but also someone that would’ve been there for you, or to have a good laugh with

34. how do you define beauty? beauty is like something that fills you with wonder and a sense of life or something

35. what do you love most about your body? uh... i have nice legs i guess 😂

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? find something that distracts you and makes you forget about all the shit. get lost in another world in movies/music/etc or just laugh with someone about anything

37. favorite place to view art? i like seeing it in the studios at school when people are still working on it

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? “somethin’ else”

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? ugh i would love to be a full blow pianist but i ain’t got the patience for that. i made it through a few periods of lessons throughout my life and three classes in college but i don’t have the capacity to do more than that. but i would also love to get even better with my voice. i’ve been taking classical lessons for the past couple of years but quit recently because of the anxiety that studio recitals and master classes give me. music major shit is rough

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i have one janky one behind my right ear that i got when i was 16, it’s a bird. but if i wasn’t a fatass bitch, i’d like to get more in different places on my body

41. dolphins or koalas? dolphins

42. what’s your spirit animal? it used to be a coyote according to a quiz years ago lol but it’s probably something different now

43. best gift you’ve ever received? probs my shitty first car that my dad got me last summer. but it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing

44. best gift you’ve given? shit i can’t even remember. i love doing personal little gifts for my friends. ACTUALLY i’d probably say the playlist i made for my friend last christmas because listening to music late at night was our thing

45. what’s your favorite board game? secret hitler is the BOMB

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow

47. least favorite color? probs brown

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore bitch, i’m broke

50. blow-dry or air-dry? air dry preferably but i’ll blow dry if i need to

51. pilates or yoga? neither lmao

52. coffee or tea? coffee unless it’s sweet tea

53. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? all of them

54. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark

55. stairs or elevators? elevators bih i got bad knees

56. summer or winter? winter, FUCK the sun

57. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? potatoes

58. a dessert you don’t like? a lot of things, i eat like a picky five year old. but i don’t like anything minty

59. a skill you’re working on mastering? singing. but also design-y stuff and videography

60. best thing to happen to you today? i went on a short walk with my mom earlier and there’s always a man across the street from us who sits on his porch every evening and sings with his guitar. i love it

61. worst thing to happen to you today? sitting through my zoom class lmao

62. best compliment you’ve ever received? idk, just when someone has generally called me beautiful? that makes me feel really nice

63. favorite smell? i love the smell of cookies or brownies in the oven. i’m also weird af and love strange things like basement smell and gasoline. also sharpies

64. hugs or kisses? hugs probably

65. if you made a documentary, would it be about? idk probably something about a niche community/town or some cult-y shit

66. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? avengers: endgame

67. lipstick or lipgloss? i don’t usually wear either very much but probably lipstick

68. sweet or savory? savory

69. girl crush? ana de armas or margot robbie

70. how do you know your in love? i feel like you’d do anything for that person even if it hurt you, and you think about them all the time and want to protect/be there for them

71. a song you can listen to on repeat? i usually avoid listening to things on repeat, but if i had to choose something... idk maybe africa by toto 😂

72. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? probs someone like elon musk or bill gates to see what it’s like to be that fucking rich and successful

73. what are you most excited for about this time in your life? just enjoying it and maybe honing some skills with all this extra time. also watching some movies on my watchlist

i’m tagging @verafarmiga, @northuldrra, @tmhnks, @spaceoddly, @breaksfastclub, and anyone else who wants to do it!! but feel free to ignore or just laugh at my answers

[sleepy-and-anxious]

Writing questions tag! (Sorry this took so long lmfao)

Thank you so much to my babies @reinkings and @theprissythumbelina for tagging me in this!

1. Is there any scene from any piece you’ve written that actually scared you? If so, describe the scene.

Hmm.. Well, I don’t really tend to write actually scary things but writing some scenes are scary because I get scared of not doing the scene justice. I get this a lot with highly emotive scenes, or when i’m writing a scene about characters who are different from me like when the subject of racism, homophobia or ableism or high key emotional trauma comes up because I just want to do a good job and be respectful, yanno?

2. What genre do you feel most awkward writing?

Historical fiction probably. I one tried to outline a victorian lesbian romance once and tossed it pretty soon because I was like.... Nah son this involves too much history research and I’m not about that - lets go look at some myths  

3. How many different types of writing do you write? Types of writing include novels, short stories, poetry, song lyrics, etc.

I dabbled in contemporary poetry for a few years in my early teens and posted a lot of it on twitter but I now prefer long prose and novels.  

4. How old were you when you first started writing?

Writing is a pretty new thing for me so I’d consider that i’m still very much a beginner.

5. How confident are you in your writing?

Not very. It’s gonna take a long time for me to get Good For Something to where I want it to be and to show it to people officially. But every compliment and constructive critisism I get on my work makes me feel a little more confident. 

6. Have you ever written and posted anything that was very personal to you?

Anything of GFS is very personal to me! I’ve had this story in my head since I was a kid. Its a part of me at this point and I guess thats a reason why I’m not very confident with it because its so personal to me. 

7. What inspired you to start writing?

Depressing as it sounds, the kick up the butt I got was that I graduate university this time next year and I’m still completely lost and decided that I might as well start writing GFS down and see where it goes. I mean, I always knew i’d write it down one day but I never felt confident enough in my skills to do it. So now i’ve just thrown caution to the wind and I’m going with it. At least, at the end of it, I can say I’ve accomplished something. 

8. Which of your OCs do you relate to the most?

Probably Hepton. His two main emotions are FFS and sigh. or maybe Ari because shes the cutest ball of shy fluff. 

I alternate between both depending on how my day has been lol 

9. Have you ever written self-insert fanfiction?

Nope! 

10. What is your favorite piece you’ve ever written about?

GFS because its my baby (and will probably always be my fave) 

11. How frequently do you actually sit down and write?

I try to sit down for a few hours every day and get maybe 1000 words done but somedays life is busy and I’m tried. 

12. How many hours at a time do you do research on your writing?

Depends on what I’m researching really. I usually research when something comes up that I don’t know about and I get stuck. I’ll make notes of things to research in my notebook and look into it when I have time. 

13. Do you like to branch out in your writing or do you tend to stick to what you know?

I guess I branch out on whatever takes my interest. Things would be boring if I just wrote about what I know. 

14. What would your antagonist of your current WIP say to you if they saw you in person?

They’d probably just walk right past me or give me a manic grin and a thumbs up. 

15. Do you consider yourself your OCs’ god or just kind of a guiding hand (or other? If other, please list)?

Naw, i’m that asshole journalist that follows them round like “but why?” 

16. What do you think you’d be doing with your time if you’d never gotten into writing?

Tbh I’d probably have reached my 150 books goodreads goal by now

17. Have you ever written a smut piece?

OH BOI. JUST YOU WAIT. 

18. What was the first thing you ever wrote about?

I mean it was probably some shitty story in primary school or nursery about faeries, knowing me. 

19. What is the most creative creature you’ve ever created for world-building?

I’d like to think my Demon Gods are pretty creative *shrugs* 

20. Tell me one random fact about your WIP that you have yet to tell your followers.

GFS originally started following different characters. Technically it started as some kinda prequel that followed August’s mother 20 years before the events of GFS where she sells her soul for the ability to wield fire. One day I might right that story too seen as thats how it started anyway.

DONE! 

Okay, Imma tag @tawnywrites @moiraaward @avatarwriting @dantedevereaux @writeawayjake @scrim-writes @katywritesbooks @mademoiselleink and theres no pressure to do it if you don’t want to my dudes! <3 

[eldritchsurveys]

o58.

1. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not?: >> Can Calah doesn’t use facebook, first of all; but second of all, if I had someone’s facebook password I wouldn’t be using it for that. I just don’t see the point of being that level of nosy, unless they’d given me express permission or something. Even then... meh. 2. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not, have you ever came close to?: >> I did once when I had a period for like three straight weeks and it was really heavy; blinked and suddenly I was on the floor somehow. The only other times that I’ve come close is when I was being asphyxiated with a plastic bag (consensually), and when I forgot to eat or drink for a while with drugs in my system and I had just walked a total of 60 city blocks. 3. Do you still trick or treat? If so, how old will you be when you stop? If not, how old were you when you stopped?: >> I have never done it. 4. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in that class or how you used to before you took the class?: >> Yeah, I’ve taken them. But I taught myself to touch-type when I was like six, so those classes were actually redundant (they made me do all the assignments anyway, even after I proved I could type at competent speed/accuracy). 5. What did the last umbrella you used look like?: >> It’s red and black and huge.

6. How many pairs of boots do you own?: >> One pair of fashion-y boots, one pair of rain boots, and one pair of snow boots. 7. Ever cut your hair (the entire thing – not just the bangs or a little part) yourself?: >> I always cut my own hair. It’s just a buzzcut so it’s really easy to do. 8. Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive?: >> --- 9. How much was your last paycheck?: >> Hm. 10. Do you get paid bi-weekly or weekly?: >> Monthly. 11. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want?: >> I either throw them away, give them to someone, or take them to Goodwill. 12. Do you cut out coupons?: >> I did as a child, because I liked the stim of cutting out things, not because I was actually going to use them for anything.  13. Does anyone in your house play xBox live?: >> I mean, our Xbox is connected to the internet... 14. What was the last school you attended (if you’re still in school, put the school you attended before you came to your current school?: >> Westfield High School. I mean, I did attend that one vocational school for a month before I left, but first of all it was just a month and hardly counts in my opinion, and second of all I don’t even remember the name of it anymore. 15. Would you ever date a co-worker?: >> --- 16. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards?: >> Yes! It’s hilarious. 17. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having?: >> Probably not. I don’t have the patience or dedication for that sort of thing. But I’d help someone else with theirs. 18. What’s the age to buy alcohol and to buy cigarettes in your area?: >> 21 and 18, respectively, if I remember correctly. 19. Do you ever eat candy cigarettes?: >> Yeah. Didn’t care for them. 20. Is there anyone on your block/in your apartment complex/whatever that you’ve never seen? For example, you know someone lives next door but you may have never actually seen them leave the house or anything.: >> Sure. 21. When shopping, do you usually head straight for the clearance or sales racks?: >> Depending on the store, sometimes. 22. What’s your biggest pet peeve at your job?: >> --- 23. How old do you want to be when you move out?: >> That ship has sailed. 24. Have you ever seriously considered dropping out of school or college? What made you decide to do it/not do it?: >> My father never would have let me drop out of high school, and besides, what else would I have done with my life anyway? He would have kicked me out and it would have been downhill from there, lol.  25. Ever meet and talk to someone from an online dating site?: >> Yeah, I met Darkness that way (on GothicMatch, lmfao). But I’ve also met other people on dating sites, it just never went anywhere with anyone but him. 26. Last type of candy you ate?: >> A sour Mike and Ike. 27. Last time you deposited money in a bank?: >> I don’t remember, I have direct deposit after all. 28. What about withdrew money?: >> I withdrew money from an ATM at the Rebirth show. 29. Ever kissed someone with braces? If so, was it any different than kissing someone without braces?: >> Never done it. 30. Would you date someone you weren’t physically attracted to? Why or why not?: >> I don’t think I’ve ever dated someone I wasn’t at least aesthetically attracted to, even if not fully like “I WANNA TAKE THEM TO THE BONE ZONE IMMEDIATELY” levels of attracted, lol. Also, sexual attraction is its own beast, like, sometimes I might not start out sexually attracted to someone but as I get to know them I end up that way, or something. Or sometimes I’m not sexually attracted to someone (not like “ew” but just like “meh, can take it or leave it”), but I’m attracted to other things about them. Life and love and shit just be like that, it’s still all love.  31. Ever had egg drop soup?: >> Sure. 32. How many tattoos do you want in the future?: >> As many as I can fit on this small frame of mine. 33. How soon do you start planning your Halloween costume each year?: >> --- 34. Last time you had Chinese food?: >> I don’t remember. 35. Are you any good at dying hair?: >> I suppose? 36. What brand of shampoo did you use last?: >> I forget. 37. Ever spent outrageous amounts on a hair product that ended up not working as well as you thought it would?: >> No, not outrageous amounts. 38. What color were the seats in the last car you rode in?: >> Black. 39. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out or just put up a few things?: >> We put up what few kitschy decorations we have, but it isn’t much. Sparrow’s mostly the one into the whole decorating business, I like to look at them but I find the actual process of decorating to be a little tedious, lmao. 40. When you were little (or maybe you still trick-or-treat now), which house gave the best candy?: >> --- 41. Last person to hang up on you?: >> --- 42. Are you excited for winter, or are you dreading it?: >> Can I have summer first, please, lol. 43. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?: >> I don’t really like pencil sharpening to begin with, I prefer mechanical pencils. 44. Do you still own a VCR? What about any VHSes?: >> No. 45. What’s your favorite scary movie?: >> I don’t know that I have a specific favourite, I just like a lot of horror movies. 46. How do you plan on spending your Halloween this year?: >> I don’t know... :/ 47. Which type of Halloween costume do you prefer, sexy ones or scary ones? Or maybe funny ones?: >> I like all of them. I’ve still never worn one, so... 48. What was the most boring costume you ever had?: >> --- 49. Heck, do you even celebrate Halloween? If not, sorry, those questions must’ve gotten annoying.: >> I celebrate it as well as I can, but I don’t really get to do much, is all. 50. Do you like cranberry sauce?: >> Sure.  

[vuisburning]

Guessing game

Who can guess who these people are correctly? I might do more rounds with different people

1. What is grammar correct? I never heard of it. I like to suck Intuitive’s dick and accuse girl of the flirt with me. Then I call she fat and use slurs of racial. YOU ARE ALL RACIST

2. WHY ARE NEW PEOPLE HERE? HOW DARE THESE NEW PEOPLE COME TO OUR BURNBOOK. GO BACK TO YOUR OWN COUNTRY. MAKE BB GREAT AGAIN. Anyway I love Jex and I’m going to marry him

3. RACISM? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD? Don’t say retard that’s ableist -Types 6 paragraphs about it- and I love to brag about my art sweetie. You’re jealous that I can finger paint. Sweetie I love being educated even tho I’m only in highschool. Keyboard warrior? I’m just smarter than you so it’s your own fault for being dumb sweetie LMAO. Anyway who’s personality can I copy next?

4. I don’t care what this post says just kys anon. I love being a hot head and making girls cry. What did you say about my girlfriend? LOL? I’ll shoot up your school bitch

5. -Sees a fight and jumps in- I don’t have time to fight with kids on the burn book -Leaves- -Comes back- You just like to argue and be extra. I’m wasting my time on you -Leaves- -Comes back- I don’t care if my friends are racist you are just a kid Blocks- -Unblocks- And you just want my attention. Anyway are there any guys I can flirt with?

6. ROFL BRO I want to give everybody nick names and never answer any questions seriously because I’m a big dumb jock and class clown who fetishizing woc BRO ROFL

7. Fttgdhgjd bitch nobody knows what I’m talking about ever and I’m never going to shut up even tho everyone wants me to. Hhhhhh I love to be dramatic bitch. Fftgdhgjdf and my eyes might be the size of melons but I’m not an alien bitch ffffffff. -Says something disturbing- Psycho? Who me? I’m an angel biiiiiitch. Anyway I love being a Gemini

8. I love to insult myself by calling myself fat and ugly even tho I’m not fat and just making fun of overweight people. I have no other jokes so I keep using the same boring one.

9. RYRUFUTUY -Tags boyfriend- You are out of service. You are mine and I want to gag on your dick. -Girl flirts with boyfriend- DGDYOTRIETJ this bitch don’t know me. I’m a gemini. Stay away from him, I have his wolfbabies. He better not ever cheat on me. Anyway where’s my wife and girlfriend DGDYOTRIETJ

10. I love BLM and you white people need to shut up and kys unless you’re my friend. -Submits 100 posts and spams the burnbook- -5 minutes later- Why are new people spamming the burnbook? We don’t like spam. Take your drama somewhere else. I’m just spitting fax and riding Jex. Anyway shop me

11. I love girls but I’m straight -Dates a girl- I’m still straight -Dates 5 girls in one week- Ok maybe I’m bi

12. -Calls someone a nXDger- Me? Racist? I deadass wasn’t deadass mad serious bruh. You retards r jus mad deadass obsessed wit me deadass

13. I’m better than all of you. People think I’m nice but I’m really a hipster asshole that is too broke to pay for my own movie production. Do you know who I am? I had the most popular room for years. These other rooms are just for edgy losers

14. Join uh xxx and where’s uh a girl for me to stab while I uh fuck her because I probably hate my mom

15. Join uh xxx and where’s uh a gemini for me to uh cry over?

17. I love asking girls to park in my room. My room must have the most hot girls in it or I’ll get mad af. If a girl won’t park in my room then she’s a ugly ho and I’m going to slide in her dms to tell her

16. Xxx best room. I love being edgy and calling girls thots even tho I’m a thot myself. Lmfao I’m a saint and at least my dog won’t break my heart. -Breaks 5 girls hearts in one week- Why are girls thots? Fuck geminis and fuck new people. Anyway I love my fans

18-21. We’re the only 4 new people that are liked. We have drama over nudes even tho we should be playing with barbies and action figures because we’re little kids.

22. BEEEEEEETCH I’m peng LOOOOOOOOL. Dawg stfu wiv your dumbass LOOOOOOOOOLWAT

23. I left this Imvu shit for 9 months. I don’t care if you call me a catfish, I’m still better than you. My new girl loves me so I don’t care about you losers. So what if I’m in discord talking shit. You all need to stop bullying me and get a life. I’m not into drama anymore. -Talks shit about 10 people in 1 minute- I’ve moved on from Imvu drama. You losers need to grow up. Anyway I love my girlfriend

24. -Likes every post about Chapo- -Flirts with him- Fuck up. He’s just my friend. Anyway where’s a post that I can comment on that has nothing to do with me

25. I’m just here to keep the peace and approve your posts. I don’t care about anything else. I have all these girls swooning over me but I’m incapable of love. I don’t even love my burnbook. You guys are lucky I don’t shut it down -Single tear rolls down cheek-

[its-love-u-asshole]

about me as a writer

I was tagged by @oiivkawa <3 Thanks so much, this was super fun!

Tagging: @emeraldwaves @ivyfics @calmgeyama @ohoholyshit @yatatsukki and?? anyone else who wants to I guess lol, I feel like most ppl I know how been tagged ^^ 

I’m putting my responses under the cut as well bc I know myself lmao, my responses can be long af ^^’’

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? bleh I have two usernames, and both stories are embarrassing LOL I’ll go with my actual ao3 name though I guess?? When I was in middle (?) school I used to watch the anime HOTD, which is like...awful first off. It’s borderline hentai, shitty fanservice, the whole thing (don’t ask me why I watched it, bc who knows, the music was A+) but my favorite character’s name was Saya, and her servants would call her ladysaya, so that’s the explanation for that ha. I put the x in front because I used to be obsessed with x men and all the marvel/dc animated series, so it felt appropriate pft. Man, even talking about this brings back so many cringe worthy memories lmao forgive me. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (Bookmarks/ Subscriptions/ Hits/ Kudos) for Haikyuu!! it’s definitely Slipping Underneath, and for K Project it’s There You Are <3 

3. What is your AO3 profile icon and why did you choose it? It’s Semi! The reasoning for this is because I have 3 fav Haikyuu!! characters: Tsukishima, Oikawa, and Semi. So I just try to distribute my love evenly tbh lol. I have a Tsukki icon on here and discord, Semi for AO3, and Oikawa is on my phone case ^^ 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? ahhh I have several but I’m not aware if many of them have tumblr?? A lot of people who comment on every chapter of my multichapters are very special to me, I love them all! Ofc on here there’s @emeraldwaves @ivyfics @momomirasaki124 @uselessvalshit @starjem and then I have my other fav supporters @serviceace @caelestisxyz and @urikawa-miyuki  <3 

5. Is there a fanfic you keep going back to read again and again? Ah damn there are so many lmfao, I have a lot of fav fics and I don’t want to make this post super long. Please check out the rec posts I’ve done here and here ! Or also message me for specific types of fics <3 I will say though, one fic I always go back to read even though it’s been YEARS is a kyoukao fic by potionwine! 

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? I consider myself pretty picky, but I do read a LOT of fic, so I have a decent amount of both ^^ About 187 bookmarks, and 16 fic/author subscriptions! 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? Probably college?? even though I know that’s super broad, and all kinds of different AUs can be based in college but that’s how it is lol. I think that’s because I honestly don’t like redoing AUs?? I like experimenting and making up really weird shit and original scenarios as much as possible. Though, I’m sure you can find apparent trends across all my fics ^^ 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? haha...I have 76 user subscriptions, 436 general fic subscriptions, and 792 bookmarks. I don’t even know how that’s real lmao I feel so blessed that so many people enjoy my writing <3 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) not really honestly, if I have an embarrassing or indulgent idea at this point, I just write it lmao idc but there are lots of types of fics I am scared to write just bc I don’t know if I could do them justice heh....

10. Is there anything you’d like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. yes lmao updating better would be something I’d LOVE to improve on ; ; Also writing action scenes too fff fuck action scenes

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? Uhhh I’ve dabbled in both but yeah, more often than not I stick to more popular pairs just because I need content to motivate me pftt

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day? 50! 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/ with your writing program? Like WIPs? ffff WIPs...maybe like 4 or 5 at this point, including multichapters, and wow that’s actually not a lot, usually I have a ton and I’m drowning in them loool

14. Do you write down story ideas or just keep them in your head? Both...I usually just keep things in my head, but if a fic starts giving me issues, I like to plot it out

15. Have you ever co- authored a story? Nope, but I’d really love to at some point with a friend! 

16. How did you discover AO3? Uh I honestly don’t remember loool I think one day I sorta just saw that no one was using ff anymore and I was like ‘aight’ 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? Not really lmao, I mean...my siren au does pretty well, but otherwise my fics get kinda slept on -shrug- it is what it is 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? lol i do not

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? Well I’ve always loved to write so no, but @brynne-lagaao is a big reason I started writing sarumi fics back when I was in K fandom! And nowadays in the hq fandom, a lot of amazing authors really push me to keep writing ^^ 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? don’t be afraid to write and write whatever you want basically lmao I know it can be daunting if you think your writing skills aren’t matching up with other authors, but the best thing you can do is practice, practice, and eventually you will see results! Also read a lot, reading other ppl’s stories really helps, and above all, just have fun with it! 

21. Do you plot out your stories or do you just figure it out as you go? I try to have a basic plot (beginning, middle, end) because I used to just DIVE IN to stories and it was awful lmao I need some sort of guideline, even if it’s small

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? yes ofc, but I honestly try not to dwell on them because they’re not worth it. I either ignore or delete in most cases

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (Action, smut, etc) action and smut are never easy for me lol

24. What story(s) are you working on now? well right now I’m working on two secret santa fics for iwaoi, as well as my two kurotsuki multichapters! I am also trying to write kacchako as a x-mas present for a friend lol

25. Do you plan your new projects before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? ha yeah, it’s a bad habit but I have no self-control

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? I do not! I just try to write at least a little bit each day if I can, but there’s never a word minimum I try to reach ^^ 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? oh 100% lmao comparing some of my old fics from even a year ago to my fics now is eye opening 

28. What is your favourite story that you have written? Shaking in My Skull for sarumi, it’s also the longest fic I’ve ever written and it holds a special place in my heart ; ; For kurotsuki it’s gotta be Let My Love 

29. What is your least favourite story that you have written? fuck me, Pencils and Paper LOL it was an earlier sarumi fic of mine and I just...hate it. I’m not even gonna link it LOL 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? Still writing fanfic most likely, maybe some original stuff (I hope!)

31. What’s the easiest part about writing? lmao nothing, writing is super hard work, sometimes even just thinking up ideas can be difficult, then there’s actually writing and making the ideas come to life, and don’t get me started on editing lmaooo writers are my heroes 

32. What is the hardest part about writing? Finding the motivation, at least for me. I struggle sometimes with it because I’ll have the time and inspiration but depression just kicks my ass every time fff

33. Why do you write? For me it’s super therapeutic, I love the satisfaction of putting hard work into an idea you love and finishing it, and the high that comes with that. Plus sharing the story with others and getting positive feedback is a feeling that can’t be beat. I’ve always loved writing, I love how the possibilities are endless, and I hope I never stop <3 

[laptrance]

July 28, 2020

it’s been over two years since my last entry. so much has changed. to update March 8 2018 me:

you give up on job searching atm until 4/24/18. that’s when you start reaching out to all the promotion companies from kucr. planetary was the other promotion company you remembered besides terrorbird. cirstina was super nice and chill and said they just wrapped internships for the summer but to inquire again for the fall. 

you wait those months while still working at mcdonalds. you get good at it and things are second nature to you. you still have moments where you storm out, but you get better at controlling your temper. 

you check back in august and cristina says there are positions open in the fall. it was pretty easy as they accepted you right away. you do this bat shit crazy thing where you try to balance the two. planetary internship Tuesday Thursday Friday and McDonald’s the rest of the days. you even do opening shift during the weekends (4am-12pm).

you’re mostly quiet during your internship. you participate in riyl’s. you mainly talk to cristina while mailing. you don’t open up much until hayoung joins in november i think. mcdonalds is the same as usual, but your sleep schedule’s FUKED UP.

you hear in december that maria (who worked in publicity) is quitting. cristina encourages you to apply. you talk with adam and the interview tbh goes horribly. not like you didn’t have anything to say, but everything you said was wrong LOL. you also talk to george and ben and they lay out what press does but you dont catch any of that.

christmas office party happens and you drink a lot. you open up a lot to EVERYONE, iNCLUDING BEN about your love life (embarrassing) you’re obviously too drunk to drive home, but you stay over the night with nik and alison (goth bless their souls)

you check in with adam on the position occasionally until feb. 2019 when he breaks the bad news. the position’s filled. like how can you be surprised? but you’re still upset. you’re able to turn this as a positive to use your experiences to boost your resume.

you continue to work at mcdonalds and interview at places until you get a random email from adam exactly one year after you first emailed cristina about the internship. adam offers you the job. ofc you accept. you quit mcdonalds and start with planetary on may 1.

learning publicity is one hell of a learning curve. heck, you’re still learning how to do shit even now. but you’re thrown on the deep end with Luna. not your fault. not totally kristen’s fault. but that was a crazy client. 

anyways, your sleep schedule’s still fucked up because of your commute. but at least you have free weekends now! 

some highlights of 2019: you finally get a macbook! but you have a galaxy s9 as a phone lmfao. placements in The Line of Best Fit and Paste! you get absolutely entranced with warehouse raves. you literally go to at least once a month. falling in love with queen of jeans and linking up with their publicist Jamie Coletta (she’s super cool and the best at the game), going on two (2) dates with a really nice girl named sara. you got in your head and probably fucked that up. but it really wasn’t the time. christmas party 2019. same shenanigans but this time you don’t drink as much. you really look for places to move out to with ryan and he finds a house that angeli and linda live. two people are moving out and the rooms go for $500 and $600. you get the $500 room and are set to move in on Feb 16 2020. news of a disease called coronavirus is first detected in china. this will be important later.

oh 2020. what a shite year. if i told myself the things i’ll write down below i would not believe it. but here it is. everything that has happened so far in 2020:

first cases of coronavirus appear in washington on january. you’re not too concerned about it. 

you’re working this country artist aminah hughes and land a placement in american songwriter for January 31 (1st time!). there are some issues and they post it one day later, but you weren’t as attentive as you should’ve been over the weekend.

adam talks to you about it the following monday (2/3) in a really calm matter but you beat yourself up over it. so much so that on your way home, you totally don’t notice a pedestrian crossing galloping hills and eucalyptus and run them over. everything feels like a blur, but you’re able to talk to the police, karen, and kimberly (state farm) about it. you take tuesday-thursday off.

you move in (night before you saw bored lord and octo octa until 3am wtf). you don’t have a car (for obvious reasons), but you’re able to commute to work via bus/subway (which you would’ve done anyway cause you love public transportation lol)

you’re able to return to normal life mostly until middle march. cases of the newly named COVID-19 have spread throughout the united states and you hear of workspaces transitioning over to work from home operations. planetary soon follows suit. our last day in the office is march 13.

literally the week after you start wfh animal crossing new horizons comes out. that keeps you busy for like two, three months tops. it’s also a nice way to keep in touch with friends. 

your first therapy session happens on march 31. you’re able to talk about the accident, but it’s quickly directed to self-esteem. it’s an ongoing process, but you’re slowly advancing. it’s not linear, but it’s better than doing nothing.

Bandcamp establishes “Bandcamp Day”, 24 hour periods in which the site’s share of profits go directly to artists/labels. Started in April, will continue through the end of 2020. All the money I would normally spend on concerts goes here now. That and I fall to the hands of food delivery apps (door dash wins)

your campaign with Atta Boy gets going. first track premieres at Atwood Magazine (2nd time! [1st time was with sophia st. helen, another awesome client]). band’s super happy about it (even mr. josh brolin himself gave a shout out [bias ofc]). by the end of may you land their second single on THE MOTHERFUCKING FADER (1ST TIME OBVIOUSLY). 

everything else is going surprisingly well for the most part (except for elp, but i don’t wanna talk about those fucking idiots) despite the ever-changing landscape of music journalism. huge blogs are letting people go while smaller sites are remaining mostly the same. 

On May 25, George Floyd is murdered by Minneapolis police which sparks the biggest wave of activity in the Black Lives Matter movement since Michael Brown’s death in 2014. organizing/activism is still going on to this day (7/28). 

For me personally, I’m making a conscious effort to highlight Black artists on my Bandcamp days and general sharing of music. I also joined a book club (6/18) and read “Are Prisons Obsolete” in its entirety. We’re currently reading a comic series called Bitch Planet. Deep and meaningful conversations.

the family hears news of Lola’s declining health. June 23rd (Manila time) is the day she passes away. We’re all able to say our last goodbyes via facebook video call. this is the first time i see my dad cry.

funeral takes place on june 27th. we’re able to partake in the ceremony via zoom. the first and only funeral i “attended” online (so far).

I start “fixing” myself physically. I went to physical therapy from 6/8-7/7. the exercises do wonders to my knees (ty dr. bailey!). also saw a dermatologist on 7/10. really quick appt. kinda felt rushed imo, but i was given a special sunscreen that works so far? also recommended otc meds like claritin.

ended campaign with atta boy. really sad to see them go. currently coordinating with their new managers on a possible podcast and press setup. 

and that’s pretty much it! it’s a lot of shit, i know, but it happened all within 2 years. overall i’d say we were pretty successful in finding a big-girl job and MOVING OUT, WHICH I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LMFAO. as for the shit you were hung up on with angelica, you’re so much better now, but you think about the good memories from time to time. sometimes it gets you down, but you’re thankful for the memories (come through fallout boy LMFAO AHAHA FALLOUT AMIRIGHT) and you learned from your mistakes. maybe it will be another two years before i leave another update, might be less, might be more. 

but i’m extremely proud at how far i’ve come.

im proud of you, me.

[kakkoweeb]

tagged by @atsumus thank you i see this is about writing and i love you for that

i,, don’t know who to tag WRITER FRIENDS ASSEMBLE okay maybe @karasunovolleygays hello i am interested to see you do this, if you haven’t yet

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i formulated it for tumblr and and decided to use it for ao3 to retain my branding. it’s basically just, cool weeb idk it’s not even true but i’m owning it

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

that would be the multi-chapter i guess. though i do want to maybe someday do actual math like. compare the kudos/comment ratio with the hits and then calculate which ACTUALLY performed the best based on that.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

oh it’s that one art i did of oikawa saying “4 YEARS WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER AND YOU DON’T WANNA SEE ME JUMP OUTTA DA CAKE” except i put a comic sans ‘excuse u’. not sure why i used it either; it makes me look sassy whenever i reply to comments but it got me a mutual (lolol hi vio) and people comment about it when they see it so No Ragrets

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yES. the oikage ao3 community is so kind to me tbh ever since i posted my first fics. of course i love every single commenter i get (with one exception, maybe.) and i appreciate the diversity when i post non-oikage fics too. (those are basically my ao3 categories. oikage and misc JDFKSJD)

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

i reread my own fics from time to time for no reason and the ones that i come back to the most are from the p+c series i did for oikage week. i’m sort of proud of them? but i feel like they didn’t get as much feedback as i would’ve liked so i appreciate them in my own time. #2 and #5 in particular.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

i’m a picky person, so i only have 25 bookmarks, 8 work subscriptions, and 3 user subscriptions. the bookmarks and subscriptions may overlap

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i am a private au royalty, and i have so many idek which to start, which i’m actually going to write, etc. i’m a sucker for complex and adventure aus, as well as the heart-wrenching ones

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

uhhh user subscriptions are 25, subscriptions are 86, and bookmarks are 331. doesn’t seem like a lot haha how dare you ask me this,

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

basically everything that i write yet don’t post. mostly because they involve my ocs. don’t get me wrong; i’m good at making ocs now i don’t mary sue or anything and they’re all really cool and story-relevant but people just don’t want/need to see that kind of thing, you know?

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

setting description, dialogue-heavy pieces, condensing a work to involve less words, romance in general u gh how an anti-romance as a genre person ended up here is a mystery to me, and just. writing in general. as far as i see, i still suck

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

rarepairs. i don’t think i’ve ever glorified a popular ship before. if ever i do write for them it’s just because it was requested or something.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

21

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhhh last i counted i had like 30+ non-drabble/short WIPs but that was last year. a lot has happened since then adfjsdkf

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

my head can’t remember what day it is, so i write em down. 

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

nope (i want to tho)

16. How did you discover AO3?

tumblr, i would think, back when i was still fixated on dmmd.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

HAHAHAHA no

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

nope lmfao but i could. because i am kakkoweeb from now on y’all are The Weeb Shits djdkf im joking of course. does anyone other than youtubers even do that?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

when i was eight years old, i think that would be anne mazer. right now, i’m inspired by my favourite fic authors bECAUSE THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD i’d name drop/tag but i’m embarrassed haha,, basically take a good look at my bookmarks you’ll know who they are

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

everyone has to start somewhere, and i think a pretty good start before the actual writing is reading. reading is where the whole thing begins, and from it you can get ideas and styles and words, and develop your way of thinking. as for actual writing: it’s important not to pressure yourself to be really really good and that you find ways to have fun with it. write for your own reasons. look to improvement, but not to the point that it’s all you care about. it’s normal to get stuck, it’s normal to go slow. but if you really love it, don’t quit. keep writing and you’ll never go wrong. oh, and editing is your friend.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

definitely plot out. it’s going to be impossible for me to remember everything on the fly, and ideas pop out at random times in the day and i can’t discard them, so each story has a plan. the level of detail depends on the complexity and my own creative ability at any given moment. sometimes tho i get ideas midway through speed-typing and just go with them.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

no, not really bad. some kind of off-topic, yes, but not bad. i just don’t reply.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

romantic things in general. the emotions and sensations that come with touch and affection, because i don’t write those based on experience.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

…a lot. just. a lot.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

bruh yeah. i even have projects that have spinoffs/sequels where i want to write the sequels before the actual project 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

ideally, that would be to write and then feel satisfied with what i’ve written, in terms of the degree of accomplishment (did i just finish a subsection or a chapter? get past a part where i was stuck?) and the quality. most days, it’s too high a goal.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

infinitely, yes. it’d be a little embarrassing if i didn’t improve since childhood

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i,, i don’t know, i like and hate them all to some degree lmfao

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

:)))) i don’t want to talk about it. if you read my writing journal though, you might be able to tell what it is.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

hopefully finished with a couple of things, still writing, and maybe with some writer friends? I HOPE AND CREI

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

…finding a word processor. LMAO idk each aspect has its own easy and hard moments depending on the type of project you’re working on. getting excited about an idea, maybe? that’s easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

writing

33. Why do you write?

because i have been for years and don’t know how to do anything else, and because i want to be the content i want to see in the world. also because i have like 34838 worlds in my head and need a medium for all of them 

[handgunz]

this really long questions meme thing that you can read if you want to get to know me but if not you can continue to go watch rick & morty or whatever shit you’re consuming this fine wednesday night

so many ppl tagged me for this like @shimmy-sham-with-the-fam​ and @www98vikitoo​ off the top of my head but i legit cant remember the rest and i dont wanna change tabs

for any questions i dont wanna answer ill just put “AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES” bc thats the answer to the “last song you listened to/what are you listening to rn” lmfaooo and yall should listen to that creepy ass RWBY soundtrack bc i listened to it to the point where it stopped being really disturbing and actually kinda catchy

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: @proofofhumanity​ it was probably yesterday or today, i dont really remember bc we call like almost every single day. aka im usually the only one talking while she types stuff in response. 

3. Text: it was @ DC like 2 seconds ago

4. Song you listened to: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES (this is actually the song tho)

5. Time you cried: i dont remember, probably a long time ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: lmfao worst relationship of my life

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really actually

8. Been cheated on: yep

9. Lost someone special: lmfao

10. Been depressed: im too cool for that

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not that stupid

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: silver, black, red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: i make new friends like every week lmao

16. Fallen out of love: yea

17. Laughed until you cried: wyd??? i do this literally every day. i laugh so fucking much every single hour at the dumbest shit, probably 30% of my life is spent laughing at someone or something. 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: uwu ya

19. Met somebody who changed you: im the only person who can change myself gtfo 

20. Found out who your friends are: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

23. Do you have any pets: yea, 2 doggies

24. Do you want to change your name: sorta??

25: What did you do for your last birthday: whatever my mom wanted to do for the occasion, i dont really remember bc i didnt care

26. What time did you wake up: 6am every day

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching rwby chibi, talking to abby, lost, and lotti on discord, was rlly warm under some blankets

28. Name something you cant wait for: im rlly excited about mercury being in volume 5!! i cant wait til he comes on because he’s one of my fave characters ever <33333333333

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 2-3 hours ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: n/a

31: What are you listening to right now: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i doubt it?

33. Some thing that is getting on your nerves: nothing that i can think of at the top of my mind

34: Most visited website: tumblr or discord

35. mole/s: wtf

36: mark/s: i have a birthmark that kinda looks like a heart on my hand

37: Childhood dream: n/a

38: Hair color: dark brown

39: long or short hair: it’s long ig, it goes down to a little bit above the halfway point in my back

40: Do u have a crush on anyone: i dont have time for that kind of thing

41: What do you like about yourself?: everything lmao i dont have low self esteem, at least i dont think so

42. Piercings: my ears are pierced but i dont wear earrings 

43. Blood type: A+ or A-, i dont really remember

44. Nickname: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

45. Relationship status: single and not available for flirting 

46. Zodiac: aries sun, scorpio moon, aries rising (yeah im the devil)

47. Pronouns: he/him or she/her 

48: Favorite tv shows: rwby, hxh, and nge

50. Right or left hand: both

51. Surgery: no thanks

52. Hair dyed in a different color: i dont do that lmao

53: Sport: too busy with grades for that

55. Vacation: las vegas is my favorite city so i would really like to go there again. french buffets are cool.

56: Pair of trainers: wyd??

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: popcorn

58. Drinking: citrus tea

59. I’m about to: sleep hopefully

61: Waiting for: rwby vol 5 ep 5 comin out this weekend 

62: Want: to write better and better til im the best. i dont really know what this question is asking. but that’s one of my various goals. 

63. Get married: i believe in prenuptial agreements but if that’s out of the way then sure

64. Career: gonna be a nurse or a physician’s assistant (while writing as a hobby)

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs definitely 

66. Lips or eyes: literally do not remember the last time i cared about lips, so probably eyes

67. Shorter or taller: doooon’t really care

68. Older or younger: preferably the same age honestly ?

70. nice arms or nice stomach: whoooo caaaaaaaares

71: sensitive or loud: anyways i want to die

72. Hook up or relationship: meeeeeeercuryyyyyyyyy blaaaack

73. troublemaker or hesitant: lusus naturae, bitch

HAVE YOU EVER:

74: Kissed a stranger: ugh

75. Lost glasses / contact lens: nope

76. Turned someone down: yea

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Had your heart broken: yea

80. Broken someone’s heart: yeaaaaaaaaa

81. Been arrested: why are you interrogating me

82. Cried when someone died: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

83. fallen for a friend: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: more than anything else in the world. i’d rather believe in myself than anyone i’ve ever met in my entire life. 

85. Miracles: nope

86. Love at first sight: noooope

87. Santa Claus: AWAKEN MY BROOD, TODAY YOU WILL RISE, I'VE GIVEN YOU LIFE MY LUSUS NATURAE OPEN YOUR EYES

OTHER:

90. current best friend name: lost

91. Eye color: brown because im a bitch of color

92. favorite movie: aaaaaaaaaa maybe kill bill? heathers? mean girls? no idea

this took like ten thousand years so maybe @driftingglass​ @decembercamiecherries​ @proofofhumanity​ @smooth-and-skeletal​ @abnirests​ @inspookswetrust​ whoever tf else wants to do this who’s actually read this far just idk say i tagged you or something

[wyrmsandrocs]

*kicks your door down* aLL THE FUCKING ASKS YA BINCH

1. selfie - cant link a photo on mobile but click this lmao 2. what would you name your future kids? - Bob. I have very little idea lmao i cant even name my characters 3. do you miss anyone? - Yeah, but everyone i miss was shit anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao4. what are you looking forward to? - tomorrow bc i can see wyna again lmao ((yes i know you asked but like just saying”when i can see you again” sounds weird in a general post)) 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? - Wyna lmao 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? - yes 7. what was your life like last year? - pretty good but I was struggling to detach myself from toxic people 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? - y e s 9. who did you last see in person? - aside from my fam, @canipetyourdragon and @softbutchnepeta 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? - when I want to, yeah 11. are you listening to music right now? - No but I have Merano from Chess in my head god save me 12. what is something you want right now? - A MOThERFUCKING APPLE FRITTER. PLEASE. 13. how do you feel right now? - pretty good, kinda tired, kinda numb but hey thats life

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? - like two hours ago when my lil bros hugged me

 15. personality description - ((im guessing this means my personality?)) Stressed, depressed, but well dressed. Anxiety Incarnate. Allergic to chill. ambitious, traumatized, FocusedTM. I’d like to say im funny but who knows. wyna am i funny? most likely annoying. 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? - y e s 17. opinion on insecurities. - a normal part of being human 18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? - n o p e im really really happy with how things are now, and I don’t truly miss the way things were

19. have you ever been to New York? - nope20. what is your favourite song at the moment? - Vincent (Starry Night) by Josh Groban. its so beautiful and im sobbing. 21. age and birthday? - ummm i dunno i stopped counting a few ceturies back. it’s been a while and no one remembers it any way so *shrug*22. description of crush. - Smart, funny, kind, a complete dork. Her hair is always rlly curly and it’s adorable but she usually keeps it back in a ponytail or smthn. a ridiculous hufflepuff nerd and a rlly Cool Person. ((disclaimer: platonic crushes only))23. fear(s) - Being abandoned, myself, getting into another bad relationship, spiders, and taxidermy. 24. height - im like almost 6 feet tall25. role model - uhhh idrk if i have a role model. Nina Zenik lmao 26. idol(s) - Leigh Bardugo27. things i hate - Spiders, idiots, assholes 28. i’ll love you if… - you send me asks or buy me cute stationary. 29. favourite film(s) - Fight Club, the animated Anastasia movie30. favourite tv show(s) - Voltron, Stranger Things, and Turn 31. 3 random facts - Polar bear fur is actually clear, the things on giraffes heads are called osocones, and the same opening literary device was used in The Odyssey, Romeo and Juliet, Sweeny Todd, and Hamilton. 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? - No. most of my friends are nb 33. something you want to learn - To play the piano, to cope better. 34. most embarrassing moment - okay kiddos buckle up it’s story time. once when I was like 9 and on Quotev I saw this comment thread that said “lyric chain.” I thought this meant people were making up lyrics, so i scrolled to the end and continued “She’ll fade out tonight, straight down the line” with “straight down that liiiiiiiiine,” extra vowels and all. It was only years later that a song played on the radio and i did a spit take. this was the song that I had added to years ago. I asked my mother what it was. It was the a team by Ed Sheeran. I have now died of embarrassment 35. favourite subject - history 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? - Publishing a book, being fluent in at least two languages, publishing a book of poetry37. favourite actor/actress - okay ngl first thought was jeremy jordan bc im musical theatre trash 38. favourite comedian(s) - umm im not really sure 39. favourite sport(s) - no 40. favourite memory - going to the leigh bardugo book signing in august with @canipetyourdragon @snicksnackknickknack and @a-digital-ace 41. relationship status - very very single lmfao 42. favourite book(s) - anything by Leigh Bardugo, specifically Six of Crows 43. favourite song ever - oh man idk maybe Believer by Imagine Dragons or anything off of Melodrama by Lorde 44. age you get mistaken for - like early 20s 45. how you found out about your idol - my gramma gave me a book she wrote 46. what my last text message says - And in crying bc this isn’t my freddy I love Freddy he’s a brilliant clever puppet master asshole 47. turn ons - um ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 48. turn offs - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯49. where i want to be right now - with wyna 50. favourite picture of your idol - ooh there was a rlly great selfie she posted a while ago on insta51. starsign - taurus sun libra moon 52. something i’m talented at - poetry 53. 5 things that make me happy - wyna, books, writing, music, chocolate 54. something thats worrying me at the moment - the future 55. tumblr friends - @sunshinesorbet we dont talk that much but ur great n ily friend 56. favourite food(s) - spaghetti, waffles, cake, and stroganof ((idk how to spell that)) 57. favourite animal(s) - cats, owls, doves, deer58. description of my best friend - amazing and great and kind and funny and wonderful. 100% a dork and i love her a lot 59. why i joined tumblr - bc of someone I dont talk to anymore lmfao.

ty so much for asking ily forever now!

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

10/26/19 3:40 am - Inventing A New Ranking System For People

Alright I don’t know if it’s sexist since I’m bi (LOL Andi would hate when I called shit gay and say that it’s okay because I’m half-gay).

But I did a lot of brainstorming and wanted to show off my new rating scale.

1-10 is trash. We used to parody it by saying it was more efficient to just do Binary where 0 is you wouldn’t smash and 1 is you would.

There’s just no depth there.

The crazy-hot chart is at least a little better because it’s got two factors you’re assessing.

So Here’s what I’ve got for you today.

I spent that one night at Darlin’s watching her stream and drawing this picture because I kept imagining what it would be like to write down all my feelings and have her read about how much I loved her and how highly I thought about her and maybe she’d take me back. I came up with this scale, but didn’t draw that part of this page out until just now.

I’m glad I’m writing the official scale part and all the numbers now that I don’t really want Andi back. It all feels more honest, though the opinions haven’t really changed. One of the things I said to Andi when I was breaking off our friendship was that I felt shitty like I was manipulating her back into a relationship and not being real friends with her.

Honestly I don’t know if I could control myself to try to be platonic friends with her now. Probably not, I’m tryna fuck like everyone I hang out with LMAO.

But anyway, Andi and I loved DnD and so that was the inspiration for this scale. Forreal here it is:

So here’s the rundown. You’ve got your normal 6 stats on the left, Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. 

It helps to fill these out as well, because then you have 12 points of assessment.

For example, Andi’s digestive issues means that there is no fucking WAY she’d be able to pass a constitution check on poison, since she can barely eat most regular foods; hence she has a -2 in that stat. It also helps to remember that when you’re doing real stats that 18 is like supergenius and 20 is literally unachievable naturally so there’s no way you ought to give a real person much higher than like a 16 or 17 intellect.

Okay now here’s the fun part. My made up stats are Hobbies, Spontaneity, Mental Health, Sex, Beauty, and Status/Refinement. 

Hobbies are what I consider to be the strength of a relationship. It’s how much you guys have in common with the things you like to do. On these stats I think it’s more natural to fill them out to a max score of 20. Andi gets two points off for not liking drugs and not liking fucked up shit from 4chan or videos where she gets grossed out like Me!Me!Me! but she was damn near perfect in terms of wanting to do stuff I wanted to do. Drinking, video games, sex? Yeah. got it.

Spontaneity is a subjective stat. One person’s SPO 20 is probably another person’s SPO 1, after all. You’d want someone in your life to be as crazy and willing to go out and do wild shit as you are, I’d presume. Or at least I do, which is why in terms of having Andi ready to go on road trip adventures across the country with me she didn’t quite hold up. I’d give her a -2 but she did fuck me in a parking lot the first night I met her. Really thought about giving her a flat stat just for that, but overall I think it’s negative.

Mental Health isn’t just a category for me to take a jab at Andi for having depressive issues, I fucking swear I’m not that much of a dick. Mental Health, or MHP, is a throwback to that Crazy-Hotness chart/meme/adage. You really do have to take into account if someone isn’t going to slice your ass with razor blades when they fuck you lmfao, or if they’re going to fight with you or fuck your friends any chance they get. Some people are just crazy and now here’s a stat for that. But alright yes, I am an asshole and took off points because Andi was depressed so much lmfao.

Sex + Beauty  I like these stats being their own categories for the same reason that INT and WIS are different stats. Raw beauty is your natural 1-10 scale of hotness. Of course, it’s more accurate because it includes .5 decimals by going 1-20. I’d give Andi a 7.5 on my hotness scale, where 10s are like Natalie Portman, Britney Spears ~Toxic era, and Kimberly from the Power Rangers. So in DnD Beauty she gets a 15. She had perfect tits, a great ass, a tight stomach, a pretty smile, and legs for fucking days, man. Pretty fucking hot.  For sex, I’d say you should rate someone on a scale from 1-18 normally, just because an 18 is the highest stat you can roll naturally before increasing your stats with feats. But then you can continue to add 1 or 2 if they actually have some mindblowing skills. Like if they give the best head you’ve ever gotten or something they can break into that best-in-the-world territory that a 19/20 stat in DnD is supposed to represent.  That being said, Andi was one of my favorite fucks. She didn’t have unbelievable stamina on top and didn’t give a legendary blowjob. But she was ALWAYS ready to fuck. And so enthusiastic. And so sexy. And kinky. The only area she loses points from rolling the nat 18 is for kissing and for whatever was causing the puss flavor.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really honestly think it was just because we were too lazy to shower most of the weekend though so I didn’t want to take a whole second point off for that.

And so that leaves us with Status (/Refinement) Status is a somewhat more nebulous stat, but I wanted to add a stat in for how classy someone is. Does she come from a rich family? Does she have money? Does she make more money than you? How is her taste in music and culture and art? Would you feel shitty not taking her out to a fancy restaurant? Like sometimes you have to acknowledge that you’re tryna fuck a hot piece of trailer trash. It’s fine, man. Like Mungo Jerry said In The Summertime, “If her daddy’s rich, take her out for a meal / If her daddy’s poor, just do what you feel.” It’s not a bad thing to not be classy.  For starters I liked that Andi made a little more money than me, but she wasn’t rich enough to take me in and be my sugar momma 😂 I also didn’t think she had Great taste in anime and music, so she ends up in an above-average-but-still-kinda-middling stat. 

And that covers it!

I hope this doesn’t make me the worst person ever. But I might start reviewing all the people I sleep with like this. I think it really demonstrates their appeal a lot more than anything else I’ve heard of. 

Let me know if I’m the biggest piece of shit ever for this so I know not to do it though lmfao.

Also Andi, if you ever read this for some reason I hope you’re... flattered? I guess? I really hope you meant what you said when you told me I could write about you because... this is probably a lot. I really don’t think I was out of your league though, and when you looked at your porn pics of us and said you couldn’t believe your ass looked so good I hope you know you always looked great. 

💕 It really was fun. Unblock me so we can be friends again. It’d be cool to chill now that I’m in a better headspace I think. 

I was thinking about calling you when I finally got to this part in my catching up, but I want to give you your space. Forever, I guess. You always said you were the bad bitch Ex’s And Oh’s girl who would have your exes chasing you to the end of the Earth and I’m not about that chase lmao.  But you were worth it. You were worth a lot more, to be honest lol, I wish I had gotten my shit together before we broke up instead of after. But you really convinced me to treat myself right, and take better care of myself in a way that nobody outside of my family has and you mean a lot to me for that. So I hope you’re doing well and I don’t want to do anything to fuck that up if you are, so I’m not gonna be that ex that calls you out of the blue that says “oh are you ready to be friends again, sorry for that shit I said.” Also because I’m not. But if you wanted to be friends anyway that’d be rad.  💕 💕

[the-madame21]

50 more interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @acrispyapple. Thank you! <3

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? Pixie sticks. Or onions. 

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? My phone recognizing my thumbprint every time so I don’t have to deal with physically unlocking my phone lmao.

3. Have you got any useless talents? all talent is useful.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? Not stressing. It’d be so nice to not stress and get worked up over every little thing lmao.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - Matt Damon (fight me) Hook from Once Upon a Time, the lead singer of Black Veil Brides 

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Playing pretend!! Ah me and my sister would make up the wildest stories haha. And we had an insane amount of stuffed animals and shit we used for props. I also loved swimming back then. 

7. What is something you’re proud of? I’m really proud of my writing even if almost no one I know personally reads it lol. 

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? I hate when people are fake friendly. Like you can tell when it’s genuine vs not and it just bothers me like stop fucking trying so hard. 

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? Uhhhh both I guess. I rather just follow since it’s easier and back in elementary through high school everyone always pegged me to lead group projects and shit so I’m kinda sick of it lol. 

10. What kind of student are/were you? 6 AP classes all in one go woo let’s do this lol. 

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? Not that I can really recall off the top of my head. 

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion  I can’t watch scary movies. Like at all. “But it’s fake” bitch that don’t mean it ain’t scary. 

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? Anything is relatable if you try hard enough. 

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I get really giggly. Like I laugh all the time anyway but it becomes especially true when I drink. 

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? I think I do. But I don’t know if that was just because I’m in love with the idea of love. 

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? One close friend. Which is basically what I got now lmao.

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? I’m kind of a slob since I’m lazy but never for very long because seeing everything dirty just like *screams* I can’t take it. Cleaning is like relaxing to a certain extent lol.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy Oh I always think of like rain or snow and just having a desk pushed up against the window or something like that. Or somewhere with a bunch of pillows where you can see the rain falling. If there’s a christmas tree too then that’s awesome lol. 

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? I don’t have any kids but I do want them someday. 

20. What was your favorite book as a child? The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness: Wolf Brother

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about Is it bad if I say kpop?

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated uhhhhhh

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? Abraham Lincoln.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? Visit all of the Disneylands. I’m only missing Shanghai and Hong Kong.

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? I usually stay quiet, judge you in my head, and then talk shit to my mom or bf. 

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? Does anyone remember those rubber bands that were like animal shaped and people wore them as bracelets? 

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? My entire middle school self lmao.

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? I think honesty. It’s hard being honest. And it’s like everyone is so used to lying like sometimes these people come off as blunt but like it’s appreciated.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) people don’t give me things. So. I guess things that are disney related?

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? Spanish, English, Fake French and even faker Japanese. 

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? City please for the love of god I would not survive in the countryside. 

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? Anime. Woops. 

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? ALL EYES ON ME IN THE CENTER OF THE RING JUST LIKE A C I R C U S. I like attention. 

34. Favorite holiday? Christmas! :D

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? Plans. Please. 

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) Mmmmm no. Things get better the more I know about them. 

37. What hobbies do you have? writing...other than that I’m an incredibly boring person lmao. 

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? shaving in like three seconds. Gods that’d be so useful. 

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you I’m not white.  

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out I religiously spelled “maybe” as “mabye” up until like the third grade because I was convinced my teachers were just wrong. 

41. Worst injury you’ve had? a busted lip I guess? 

42. Any morbid fascinations? not really?

43. Describe your sense of humor it’s fucked up. 

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I love/hate this question because as a woman like shit sucked back then. But let’s go with ancient egypt cuz I like ancient egypt. 

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at video games. I literally cannot game. How does it work. 

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through Walking the length of the golden gate bridge. That shit was awful. I’m scared of height AND bridges AND it was raining so and it’s a long ass fucking walk. But I guess I can say I did it so whatever. 

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) the ugly one. 

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? depends on my mood honestly. 

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? Idk all compliments are pretty flattering so I’m not too picky. 

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you I don’t really know. I don’t interact with enough people lmfao. 

not forcing anyone to do it, this is long af. So whoever wants to, feel free!

[blacknihilism-blog1]

1. have you ever been in love?

Yes. Twice. 

2. what are your favourite colours and why?

Black/Red. I love Black because it can typically match with any other colors and usually makes for dope color schemes. I also like darker colors more for some reason. I love bright colors as well but I’ve found that I don’t like to wear them too much or get them on items that I use often

3. who was the last person you held hands with?

If I ever hold hands it’s platonic considering I havent been in a relationship in 10 months lol. So probably one of my friends. 

4. what is your zodiac sign?

Taurus

5. how many times have you read your favourite book?

Honestly I dont know any books that were so good to me that I read it multiple times. I don’t read as often as I like.

6. what are your favourite films?

I don’t really have a lot of “favorites”. Any time I’m asked for a favorite *blank* my mind draws a blank lol.

7. what kind of weather do you like?

I love rainy weather. I love cold weather. But I don’t like cold rainy weather. At least not if i’m outside.

8. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I like sunsets. Although I love to see any transition of the sun whether it be rising or setting, since I love the night time I love to see it go from a beautiful range of colors to darkness rather than a beautiful range of colors into lots of sunshine.

9. what kind of weather represents who you are as a person?

Murky rain. But out in the corner of the sky u can see a huge ray of sunshine.

10. what’s your favourite animal?

I love dogs

11. what is your favourite song right now?

“Get You” by Daniel Caesar

12. what is your favourite song of all time?

Oof what did I say about favorites?

13. do you like sunny days or rainy days better?

I absolutely love rainy days unless I have to do a lot of driving.

14. have you ever been heartbroken?

Yes

15. what does the perfect kiss feel like?

I think the perfect kiss is less about the physical kiss and moreso with the perfect person at the perfect time. As in the kiss that signifies marriage or whatever. I think that’s what the perfect kiss feels like. The realization that with this kiss, you are promising to always love and care for whoever you’re kissing.

16. what is your favourite poem?

Eh

17. who are you most inspired by?

I don’t have much inspiration as of right now. In the past it was Childish Gambino but currently I’m just eh.

18. are you spiritual?

I have an appreciation for some spiritual studies and practices but personally I’m not too spiritual. 

19. what is your favourite plant?

lmfao weed

20. what is your favourite feeling?

Being in love and content with life.

21. what is your favourite word?

Fuck

22. are you an artist?

I don’t really make any art. I’ve made a few songs and I wanna get into poetry and video making. But I don’t know if my current level of confidence allows me to call myself an artist.

23. what is your favourite flower?

Bud

24. are you happy?

Not genuinely but I have my moments.  

25. what are you thinking about right now?

Honestly I’m thinking about someone. I wish I wasn’t just because I don’t like thinking about people who don’t want me in the same way that I want them. All that does is create pain and I rather avoid feeling that confusing feeling that is love. I mean if the love was returned then it’s great but who knows, Maybe it’s better if we aren’t together. We can only let time tell.

26. what emotion do you feel most often?

Confusion/Regret. In my head I’m always trying to avoid conflict/making someone feel any sort of negative emotion. And any time I make a mistake i regret everything. And I’m always feeling confusion because I never know how I can really improve who I am as a person. 

27. what is your favourite season?

Winter. I love cold weather. TMI but honestly I sweat too much to be comfortable during any hot season. And I’m a very affectionate person so I cant hug people as much during the summer. During the winter I’m always loving on my friends lol. Plus if you’re in a relationship, those “cold-outside-but-cuddling-inside” days are lovely.

28. are you in a relationship?

No. Honestly outta nowhere like yesterday or two days ago I realized that I had some strong feelings for someone I’m close to and dated in the past. I started talking about if we were dating and I just moved way too fast. I regretted everything i said instantly and just played it off as whatever. In the moments following her telling me that I’m moving too fast I was just snapped back to reality and decided I needed to calm myself down. Looking back I did seem crazy. But it’s been so long since i had any feelings for anybody (to the point that I’d date them) and I just got excited if im going to be real. And I was also sick at the time so I’m just laying in bed picturing me with them and it seemed like we could work really well together. But it’s okay. I’m just gonna take my time. I don’t know whether I should move on or pursue her at a slower pace. So for now I’m just gonna be big chillin.

29. are you an introvert or extrovert?

Introvert. Unless it’s really some people I’m comfortable with I’m pretty timid. Even with out with some of my closest friends I’d rather just be home. 

30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?

The stars. There’s this street not too far from my friends house and me and him have driven down it a few times now. When you’re on this street, if you turn off your headlights and look up the sky has very little light pollution and it’s beautiful. The moon is rarely close enough for me to enjoy. 

31. what is your favourite scent?

I love the smell of a lot of different foods. But looking back, my favorite smell used to be the perfume that my girlfriend constantly used. I ran into one person who used the same one as her some time after we broke up and for lack of a better term, it triggered lots of memories of her. But I used to love it. Not because the scent was so good, but rather because I was in love with her and everything about her.

32. where do you feel most at home?

In my room. I used to have these black bags over my window which allowed very little light into my room and as I said earlier, I prefer darkness. But I took those down recently as a metaphorical enlightenment and symbol for how my life was headed in a brighter, more positive direction. It sort of works, but mainly I love my room because at night time I’m never bothered. And it seems like a safe space. At 2 a.m. in my room, I’m alone. My parents won’t call me for random tasks, teachers can’t pester me about random assignments, and I can just do whatever I want.

33. what scares you the most?

Honestly the last time i was seriously afraid of something, I was afraid that I had caused some major damage to someone I trust and love. So I’m terrified of hurting other people. I’ve seen so many people be hurt by so many things. I never want to see myself become the source of someone’s terror.

34. do you believe in soulmates?

God knows I do. But honestly something about soulmates that I always question is the setting of a pair of soulmate’s birth. For example, what if you weren’t born in the same location and/or time period as your soulmate. If it’s just the location, you can roam the Earth and possibly meet them if your lucky. But if you never leave your hometown, in my opinion your soulmate probably isn’t born in your hometown. I think you need to explore to find them. And I hate to be pessimistic, but i think that you aren’t guaranteed to meet your soulmate, if they do exist. So the vast majority of people don’t meet them. But I hate thinking like that. It puts me in a very nihilistic point of view.

35. what is your favourite thing about yourself?

I try hard to spread love and positivity. I have so much love in my heart.

36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?

Honestly i dont know. 

37. who is your favourite music artist?

Childish Gambino. I had a huge Gambino phase during early high school. I connected to a lot of his music and his personality that was portrayed through different interviews. He was mysterious to me because he doesnt use social media and just keeps to himself a lot. But I like “Camp” because i felt like a lot of that music was relatable to a “White, Black Kid” which was something i struggled a lot with in middle school. I’m fully black but people called me “white” due to my behavior. Which was basically not enforcing black stereotypes. And due to peer pressure I took on the role of the “White, Black Kid” or the “Oreo” (Black on the outside and white on the inside). 

38. what was your first kiss like?

It was for my 14th birthday. Looking back on it, it was a mess because I was hella insecure at the time. I was just nervous and asked like 3 times which ruined the mood. I was just surprised that someone wanted to kiss me period. But it was at an ice skating rink for my birthday. It was just me and a bunch of friends but I was “talking” to this girl at the time. Basically we went sit on the other side of the rink and was just talking. All my other friends were trying to look at us which also didnt help my insecurity/bad nerves. But I did it. And i was so happy for the following few days lol.

39. are you a sensitive person?

Tbh, probably. I’m very open to criticism but I also get hurt fairly easily.

40. when was the last time you cried?

A few days ago. Either out of pain from my tooth or heart ache whenever I was first told to slow it down with the girl i was into. Ik its silly to cry over something that small but idk. I’m just being honest and letting yall know the last time i cried. 

41. do you believe that love can last forever?

Yeah. That’s the kind of love I want. I want to take some time and enjoy my teenage years but then fall in love with one person and i want to be with that one person forever. I just dont trust enough people to think that we’d last forever tho. That’s why I don’t get into relationships too often. I won’t get into a relationship if I don’t see me and that person lasting. 

42. what do you think happens to us when we die?

I’m not too spiritual but I wouldn’t be surprised if Heaven and Hell existed. I’m way too simpleminded to try and comprehend what lies in the afterlife though. 

43. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Sadly. I cried hard as hell myself afterwards tbh.

44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?

I’m not sure if this question is asking what thoughts keep me up, or what thoughts put me to sleep. A lot of thoughts keep me up. But it’s not the thoughts themselves, but rather my inability to sleep. I don’t have insomnia but usually if i’m up, I’m up because i don’t want to go to sleep, or im in some sort of discomfort/pain thats keeping me up. And sometimes I don’t go to sleep because I’m texting someone and either im hoping we can have an “interesting” convo or i just wanna stay up and talk to em. And lately either being sick, or my unattended dental problems keep me up.

45. do you believe in aliens?

Okay, lets be honest. As big as space is, you expect me to believe that we’re the only living beings? Yeah okay. Sure. Lol

46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

My friend brought me medicine at work and lord knows I was so grateful because I was seriously struggling. It’s not the nicest but goddamn did I appreciate it.

47. do you find it hard to trust?

I find it hard to trust somebody with my heart. As in I don’t trust many people enough to date them. I’m actually very open which can be a good or a bad thing depending on how you look at it. I see it as good because I feel that it makes me pretty approachable. But it’s bad because I leave myself susceptible to getting hurt by being open.