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wokecipher · 2 months ago

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p. 1 // p. 2

OKAY- so, awhile back, I made an AU where Bill had kids (twins!), I did this because I thought it'd be funny, and it was supposed to be ironic and stupid.

It's no longer ironic... and I wanna share this silly (incredibly fucked up) AU!

These two are Anthony (they/them) and Tony (he/she/they). I call them the Tony twins. This AU is directly attached to my Family of Shapes AU, but long long after Euclydia is destroyed (mentioning this because Tony is a square, which might confuse some people? Bill's uncle is Tad here, that's why).

The other parent of these two is a shapeshifter named Mendax (it/its), who was preying on Bill at the time to gain information before essentially disappearing from existence before Bill ever finds out.

I have a lot of lore on Mendax, but it's not the focus here right now, so I'll get to it LATER... just know I think about Mendax and Bill's relationship often and they're very fucked up and toxic and not good for each other.

Now the below will be a lot of lore and information about the Tony twins and Bill during all this.

MORE ART AND LORE VVV

So! for anyone familiar with how I perceive Bill's family, they'd know Scalene having a messy, awful pregnancy, and ending up with debilitating postpartum depression is a huge part of it.

Bill is no better than his mother in this regard.

When Bill found out he was going to have kids, he felt angry, miserable, and was mourning Mendax as well (since it up and left before Bill even Knew about all this). Having kids felt like the worst outcome of the relationship and he never even wanted them in the first place.

(hey, it's that drawing I said I'd never reveal the context for!)

Bill doesn't want to be a parent, and having two kids over just one broke him further, mentally speaking.

He wasn't the worst parent, but good God, he wasn't a good one either. Bill was incredibly emotionally abusive towards both children but was dead by the time they were 11, so he hardly had a chance to be there in the first place. (The timeline was my biggest problem to figure out because Mendax left before humans even evolved on earth).

To fix the timeline, I decided he'd have kept the kids in a pocket dimension where time runs so slow that it basically stopped. Millions of years could pass, and it'd be hours at most in that pocket dimension. This is me just coping to make the timeline work, LMAO (but it's in character, Bill doesn't wanna forget about the two somehow and wants to be there when he can. He also wants to keep them both safe and away from anywhere someone could hurt them).

The kids were brought out for Weirdmageddon, though (before Bill was aware there was a barrier and all that).

So long story short, Bill dies, the kids are left alone in the nightmare realm with the rest of the henchmaniacs, and things aren't going well. One of the henchmaniacs (8Ball) turns on the two and tries to kill them (considering how willing he was to turn on Bill, and didn't seem against eating kids, seemed in character enough).

This led to Tony (the square) killing 8Ball in self-defense in front of the rest of the henchmaniacs.

Tony hides Anthony in the pocket dimension and tells them to hide, then leaves to go "handle" things on the outside. She ends up slowly taking over the henchmaniacs group and basically becomes the "New Bill".

Although she's entirely unfocused on humans or anything, and more focused on gaining power to be more like her dad.

Eventually, Anthony leaves the pocket dimension by the time Tony is in his 20s. Anthony was shocked, and still 11, and ends up getting taken care of by some of the henchmaniacs and Tony for awhile.

I have more art on this, but I've hit the tumblr limit of 10, so I'll cut this shorter and make the rest of the plot its own post.

Anthony grows up and becomes a right-hand man for Tony, but after millions of years, they become tired and traumatized from doing all of Tony's dirty work.

Anthony ends up killing Tony.

Tony had slowly become more abusive and cruel over the years, and Anthony just couldn't handle it anymore. They end up taking over Tony's place as the leader of the henchmaniacs... but they don't really do anything. Around this time, they make a deal with the Axolotl (or some related party), to repent for all their crimes. They hated what they had done for Tony and wanted to be and do better.

They end up failing to save or do anything for anyone and ends up in the Theraprism. Unlike their father, they make it through the program and get reincarnated.

I'm still unsure if they would meet with Bill there, if either would know the other was just some many rooms away. I don't even know if they'd learn either was at the Theraprism.

If they did meet again, it would... be awkward for sure!

If you guys would like to hear more about any of these characters let me know, weirdly enough my favorite here is Mendax even tho it's not the focus here.

#wokecipher DRAWS #//#Bill & The Kids #\\#bill cipher #bill cipher au #kryptos #gravity falls #gravity falls au #book of bill #the book of bill #bill cipher fanart #gravity falls fanart #bill cipher art #billcipher #kryptos gravity falls #gravity falls oc

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edynsgarden · 5 months ago

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The Orchid

Chapter 3

There had been whispers of an American Jujutsu sorcerer with a cursed technique that rendered them unstoppable. No one could identify this sorcerer by face, but they were recognizable by photos of each cursed spirit with an orchid beside it. Typically, gossip about foreign sorcerers did not carry across the ocean to Japan, the pillar of Jujutsu, but it seemed that this American sorcerer dubbed “the orchid” was the only topic of conversation in the Jujutsu world. While many higher ups and special grade sorcerers feared the arrival of The Orchid, Satoru Gojo was excited. Finally, a rival, an equal, or maybe… a lover.

Story Warnings: heavy smut, breeding kink, spanking, spitting, violence, mentions of abuse, blood

Chapter Warnings: none <3 (no smut this chapter)

Author's note: We've approached the station squad, next chapter is about to be gooood.

Chapter 0.5 - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Other than the twin bed, the rest of the room was simple, it was a long bedroom, not as cramped as her college dorm with one shared bathroom. “Okay then,” Shiloh responded nonchalantly, sitting on her new bed. Something about this girl perplexed Gojo. Not to say that she is ‘unlike other girls,’ but her stoicism was incredibly confusing. Gojo was used to girls fawning over him or being completely done with his annoying antics, but Shiloh, she got over things too quickly. He could tell that the living situation initially bothered her, but now she seemed completely fine. But, little did Gojo know that Shiloh was freaking the fuck out. Not because she minded the mess, she could conjure the same clothes but folded, but she didn’t know how she would live with Gojo. Unfortunately, with the constant flow of cursed energy that was flowing into her body, her ambition and sex drive are constantly high, so she literally cannot help but want to fuck Satoru. But it’s a-okay their beds are on the opposite side of the room. No worries.

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Oh. My. Fucking. God Shiloh thought to herself. She had just finished conjuring all of her things and was exhausted, even though she didn't expend that much cursed energy to do so. But, what she was really “oh my fucking god-ing” about was Gojo, who just walked out of a steaming hot shower with nothing on but a white towel hanging low on his waist. “Do you need something?” Gojo asked, plummeting Shiloh from her trance. “Nope, I am all good, just tired is all. I keep spacing out.” Nice save Shiloh! She shoots! And she scores Shiloh prayed that Gojo didn’t notice her previous staring but the smirk on his face said otherwise. But how could she not? His tall, lean body was glistening from the water that dripped off of his platinum hair. He looked oiled up like some stripped in Las Vegas. Genuinely, he was hot enough to slide into Magic Mike and no one would notice. “It’s alright, I get it. People can’t resist these washboard abs,” Gojo joked, flexing his muscles. God help me Shiloh pleaded, she understood that he was joking but her exhaustion killed her mental resolve, one more flex or movement and she would be hopping onto Satoru. “Shut up. Boo, this is the worst show I’ve ever seen.” Shiloh said, standing up from the bed, an attempt to humble Satoru from his obnoxious posing. But seriously, she needed him to stop as soon as possible before she jumped his bones. “Oh so you want more? I am not giving you enough Shy?” Oh. The air made a 180 shift, and Shiloh was getting hot. But she was no pussy (said pussy being extremely wet), but aside from that fact, she does not fuck around. So she had to play the game. “I’m not quite sure you could handle what I want babe,” Shiloh cooed in a seductive tone. Now Gojo wasn’t sure if he would be able to survive this conversation. Shiloh’s big, brown, doe eyes glistened as she spoke, never breaking eye contact. Shiloh subtly bit her bottom lip, sucking on her cheek with a smirk. “Oh I doubt you could handle me, babe” Gojo spoke in a mere whisper. Their faces are intimately close, noses almost touching. Shiloh licked her luscious lips, Gojo too readied himself for a night yet to come, a tent forming in his pants. And before anyone could blink, Gojo quickly gripped the back of Shiloh’s head, pulling her into a deep kiss. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him, he was never this weak, but this girl had flipped his world upside down. Shiloh fell into the kiss, pulling the two down a rabbit hole of attraction and lust. But, their moment was temporarily cut short when Gojo slightly pulled away to say “This isn’t right. But I’m okay with being wrong.” “I guess two wrongs do make a right.”

#jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jjk satoru #satorugojo #jujutsu satoru #satoru gojo #gojo #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #satoru gojo smut

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daughter-of-sapph0 · 2 years ago

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quick question, what's an era 2 tumblr user? we have eras??

it's sorta something I made up myself. tumblr has gone through various shifts in presentation and tone that dramatically affected how people use the website. honestly idk if anyone besides me actually uses this system, but I'm gonna use it anyway because it's funny

so Era 1 is from the start of tumblr until dashcon. this is where the dashboard had those weird lines on the side of reblogs, was the hight of superwholock, allows editing other people's posts, and was filled the overwhelming prevalence of fandom. back then, tumblr wasn't very mainstream and most people who used it were big nerds (affectionate). so there was a strong sense of community between people who had shared interests.

Era 2 starts after dashcon in summer of 2014. this was a disaster of an event that sorta boosted tumblr's popularity for better or for worse. this is also when I first joined in late 2015 as an undertale blogger originally (my first blog has since been deleted though). this is what I'd call the meme era of tumblr. it's when most of the most popular jokes are from. it's when massive inside jokes and tumblr references started. and it's the time where the most people were active. and it lasted until about late 2018 with the porn ban

Era 3 was kicked off with many users deciding to leave tumblr near the end of 2018 beginning of 2019. tumblr's policy on porn up until then had been "go nuts. show nuts" until it was bought by virison who tried their best to make it "family friendly". the whole thing was handled very poorly ("female presenting nipples") and didn't even get rid of all porn, just porn from sex workers and artists who sold nsfw content to make a living. most of those people left for sites like twitter, and many other sfw artists (and also people who just used tumblr for free porn) left with them. for a while, tumblr was pretty empty. but not entirely. there were still very close knit communities, arguably even closer than Era 1 even. and honestly, this is when tumblr was at its most usable. it was quiet. the only thing that you had to worry about was the occasional porn bot (and staff's growing authoritarianism, but we'll get to that). it's hard to argue when exactly Era 3 ends. I like to say it's when elon musk bought twitter, but I also think it might have started a bit before then. it's more of a slow transition that happened sometime between early and late 2022

Era 4 is the return era. when everyone who went to twitter came crawling back. this was sorta kicked off with staff starting to be more lax with their porn restrictions. but don't think that staff was having a change of heart and suddenly nice. for the longest time, they had been overstepping boundaries and abusing their authority, such as banning mainly Black and leftist users calling them "Russian psyops". it was also around this time that people discovered that there were several terfs on the development team, and that was likely the reason they didn't ban nazis and terfs despite both being in clear violation of the tos. tumblr staff tried to distract from this controversy by adding a bunch of gimmicks. the crabs for April fools, blazing posts, checkmarks, tumblr live. this for some reason actually worked, and a lot of people just forgot or didn't care about staff any more, and it actually brought in a lot of new users. I have no idea how long Era 4 will last. all the Eras have been kicked off with a massive change in how social media operates that becomes more dramic and impactful each time. so short of the us government completely banning tiktok for good, I doubt Era 4 will end any time soon.

sorry this turned mostly into a rant against staff near the end. as you can obviously tell, I'm sorta biased towards Era 2 and 3, as that's when I had the best experiences with tumblr. and a lot of the problems I have with the site today can be traced back to staffs stupid decisions and abuse of power and authority.

but yeah. I hope that makes sense.

#dostxt #asks #tumblr eras #tumblr era

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nightingaletrash · 1 year ago

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Figured I'd write up some little summaries of Nem's friendships with her companions by the end of the game:

Lae'zel: they started out very much as an alliance of convenience with no real expectations of friendship or even mutual respect. Yet somehow, they've overcome the initial hostility, coming to respect each other's nerve and resolve, and have since become firm and loyal friends. They may never see each other again, as Lae'zel left Faerun to free her people from Vlaakith's rule, but they will make sure that no one could ever forget the role each of them played in the liberation of their homes from the so-called gods who crave them. Lae'zel's name will be told in song and story, and Nemeia's will be etched in slate. Their friendship will endure from Faerun to the Astral Sea.

Shadowheart: surprisingly, they warmed up to one another quite quickly despite the blatant secrecy and evasiveness on SH's behalf. And when the time came in the Shadowfell, it was Nemeia who SH listened to. And when she defied Shar, it was Nem who helped her to stay standing long enough to really process and accept what she'd done and what had been done to her. After the defeat of the Absolute, Shadowheart stayed with Nem the longest, as she still had to decide what came next. They're practically sisters now, and the bond they share runs deep.

Astarion: this friendship was a real slowburn, especially on Astarion's behalf. Nem accepted his vampirism with grace, allowed him to feed on her the first time, and she generally agreed to have his back, but she genuinely came to believe that he just didn't like her. It wasn't until act 2 that he stated otherwise; in reality he just didn't trust her to be capable of living up to her word. She's just too much of a reckless do-gooder and is vastly underestimating what Cazador is capable of. Yet as time goes on, he comes to believe that she might actually be someone worth putting his faith in. And in the end, she doesn't just save him from Cazador, she saves him from his own fear. She helps him break the cycle of abuse and helps him to be more than what he was made for. After he's forced to flee the sun, Nem is genuinely unsure if she'll ever see him again, but he shows up at the celebration after the sun goes down because he refuses to skip out on the party that he's more than earned. And he feels like he owes Nem a proper goodbye before he leaves.

Gale: these two get along like a house on fire from the get go, and it's thanks to him that Nem's view of Elminster takes a dip because how dare you tell my friend to kill himself on behalf of the goddess who could have helped him and chose not to. Still, they had their moments of friction whenever the Wizard Hubris started to show. Nem had to frequently talk him down from ideas of reforging the crown and dissuade him from the notion that he needs to be More to be worth something. While she still didn't believe that Gale ought to chase Mystra's forgiveness, she did encourage him to let her handle the crown because it was clearly a bad idea to leave it in the hands of mortals. After the Absolute's defeat, an agreement is settled upon: they have a bi-annual meet-up where they come to visit each other's homes and catch up. Tara still can't believe that Nem won't side with her on the matter of Gale's beard.

Wyll: another fast friend and one whom Nem was quick to offer her support to after his transformation at Mizora's hand. She tried to help him adjust to the change, offering him advice for dealing with the horns and trying to help him find foods that taste good. They've not made much progress on that front, but the effort is appreciated. Ultimately, Nem encouraged him to break his pact at the cost of his father because Mizora is toying with him and there might still be a chance to find his father without her help. And ultimately, she was right. They saved Duke Ravenguard without Mizora's help and Wyll was freed of his pact, leaving him free to decide his own fate as the Blade. They meet up for the occasional adventure, and Wyll knows that there's a place waiting for him when he needs a rest.

Karlach: oh boy. There were instant sparks there, and they got on super well from the start, so it was only a matter of time before they fell hard and fast for each other. They enjoyed each other's company and had each other's backs in every fight. Nem went out of her way to help fix Karlach's engine, and genuinely believed that they could find some way to fix it so that she could stay in Faerun and live a full life, filled with love and music and excitement. Even in the face of the inevitable, Nem kept picturing a life together with Karlach and refused to believe that there was no way out. So imagine the heartbreak when, right as they've won and defeated the Absolute, Karlach's engine finally gave out. Nem made sure that she got a headstone with her parents and makes sure to visit, but the thought of staying in the city is a bit too much for her. So she preserves Karlach's memory in every way she can - in stories and songs and art, so that no one can ever forget Karlach the Fearless. There's also a really mean goat named after her. It's what she'd want.

Halsin: considering that he was the first person who could actually offer any substantial help that wasn't a poison or a deal with a hag/devil, Halsin earned Nem's respect and friendship pretty early on. She actually pestered him about druidic practices too because all she ever knew about her own father was that he was a druid, and she wants some kind of connection. Then oops it turns out that Halsin is her father! There was definitely a spike of complicated emotions there, but they worked things out and talk about how they feel regarding the revelation, and they decided that they'd give this whole 'being family' thing a go. After the defeat of the Absolute and once she had sorted out her business in the city (such as Karlach's funeral), Nem joined Halsin in his new community for a time to get some distance from the city, heal from her grief, and to build a bond with her father.

Jaheira: the Cub and the Crow, that's them. Nem isn't much like Fianna at all - she's a fast talker who can talk someone into killing themself to spare herself the trouble of fighting them (and she's done exactly that. Multiple times!) - yet she still reminds Jaheira of her Bhaalspawn kid in her determination, her staunch belief in doing what's right, and her fierce loyalty to her friends. It wasn't hard for her to fall into the role of the motherly mentor (even if her brand of motherly is more sarcastic hardass than you'd expect). As for Nem, well, she likes to give Jaheira a hard time every now and then, but that's because the last legend she met told one of her friends to kill himself and this one threatened to kill her, so she's ready to push boundaries rather than fawn, and it turns out that Jaheira loves that shit. It's refreshing that she can take a few prods, and she has the exact kind of experience they need for taking on literal gods. Even after they go their separate ways, they stay in touch, and Nem has written a song about Jaheira that leans more into her being a prickly old woman than some legendary warrior. Jaheira prefers it to any of the other songs ever written about her, which means that all of her kids sing it whenever she comes home. Next time she sees Nem, she's grounded.

Minsc and Boo: Nem grew up in the Wide, so she's more than familiar with the stories of Minsc and Boo, and so she thought she was more than prepared for dealing with their quirks. As it is, the hamster is definitely the sensible one. Nem doesn't dislike Minsc in the slightest, but it'd be nice if he actually learned from his mistakes instead of trusting Jaheira to clean up his messes. But he's all in on stopping the Absolute, and he has his own strange brand of wisdom that is surprisingly insightful... but Boo is definitely the brains of the operation, make no mistake.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #nemeia #lae'zel #shadowheart #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #wyll ravenguard #karlach cliffgate #halsin #jaheira #minsc #boo

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hannahssimblr · 2 years ago

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Dean: A case study & my justification.

Now that part 2 is over, I can finally share my feelings about Dean, the thought behind him and where he came from.

First off, I didn't think he'd cause so much discourse. To me, because I knew who he was from the moment he was introduced, I was surprised to find that so many people liked him. I kind of thought "oh no, maybe I've done something wrong here" But then I realised that actually, that probably sounds about right. If I didn't know his motives I would have liked him too.

When I was twenty three I knew a guy a bit like Dean. Our relationship was complicated, and the exact ins and outs of how it was defined aren't really relevant, but the point is, he was manipulative and emotionally abusive.

I was young and fresh out of college, and he was in his late twenties and yet somehow there was a part of me that felt like I always had the upper hand on him, like I thought always knew what he was thinking. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I thought I was able to handle him, and I'd always believed deep down that I was too clever, too astute to be one of those women who ended up with an abusive partner. Now I know that I only felt that way because I'd never been in their shoes.

Abusive people don't come into your life announcing that they are going to hurt you. They come in quietly and nicely, they make you laugh and give you the type of attention they've figured out that you want. At the beginning, when I met him, I actually wasn't remotely interested, but he viewed this fact as a challenge, and tried extra hard to get my attention. He'd play all kinds of mind games - the same way that Dean did. Dean deliberately insults Evie's work in order to check how much it will bother her, and then acts like he's just being constructive. He blocks her from his phone just to test her and see if she'll come crawling back begging for attention. Every time they're together he's reading her, he's checking her face, he's watching her every movement to see if what he's doing is working and if he's bringing her around to being with him. He knows she is too good for him, but her self esteem is so low that she doesn't know that. He will play that to his advantage.

I got wound up around my guys finger without even knowing it, and looking back, I can't even tell you how I got there. But I know that there was one time that I began to get bored and lose interest in his flirting, and he came over to my house with a wrapped gift and a poem he'd written about me. Then we lay on the couch with the sun streaming in the windows and he stroked my hair for an hour. He didn't want to be with me, he didn't want to be my boyfriend, he was just reeling me back in. He was seeing what it would take to get me back in his orbit again because he could sense I was slipping away and he had a hunger for attention. Dean does the same thing to Evie when he sees that he's made a potentially disastrous mistake and let his mask slip. He goes to a bookshop and tries to find the most personal gift possible. Not because he cares about her, but because he needs to keep on playing the game. Men like this know the right things to do, they know perfectly well how to appear sincere.

The moment I confessed feelings to him, I'd lost. For me it felt straightforward, it felt like, oh, well we obviously like each other so let's date now. He didn't want to date. He "couldn't". I can pinpoint that as the day that everything took a sudden nosedive. Within a few weeks I felt completely trapped. He stopped pretending to be nice, and he took advantage of my feelings and my willingness to be kind to him. He asked me to do unreasonable things. He'd impose on me, force me to complete tasks and then insult me for doing them wrong. He camped out in my house one weekend working on a project he wouldn't let me help him with (because I mess everything up), and made me cook him three meals without ever saying thank you. In fact I think he said "I don't like this type of food." it was horrifying, humiliating, and for some reason I felt like I couldn't get away from it. There was a visceral moment when I cried in confusion on a set of stone steps in my town with my best friend, and I told her that I felt like I was in an abusive relationship, but couldn't have been because he wasn't my boyfriend. I didn't have the self esteem to get away from him.

Many of the things Dean says to Evie in the final chapters are variations of the things said to me during this time. I think that's why writing those parts was so painful for me. I literally paced around my apartment trying to get the nerve to do to Evie what had been done to me. In the story, Dean starts turning on Evie the moment they agree to date non-exclusively in the park. From chapter 16 until the end he is, in my opinion, horrendous with her. He struggles to keep the mask on at all in 16 and 17, covering up his rage and impatience with thin layers of rehearsed understanding. He says what she needs to hear, but he's not even really bothering to make it sound genuine anymore. She won't have sex with him. He says it's fine, but then leaves the library in annoyance five minutes later. She finally gives in and does it, and he doesn't enjoy it. He worked so hard and gave so much of his time and effort to getting her clothes off, and now she's let him do it and he wasn't satisfied. All of his manipulation was for nothing.

Dean eventually just uses her for her central apartment by the end. It's closer to work than his own place, and it's easier to crash there after a night out. He doesn't care about any of the promises he made to her, and even though they continue to have sex, he's not doing it because he has affection for her. She's just conveniently there. He cares about her feelings so little that he's happy to tell Marnie all of the personal details that Evie would be mortified to share. He doesn't care about her, nor does he care about Marnie or Fiona or anybody else. He cares about the pursuit of women, the challenge of snagging those who are 'out of his league' just to prove to himself that he can. I wanted to show that by chapter 20, he actually only wants to have sex with Evie when he's on MDMA, that's the only time that he enjoys it, and she, with self esteem whittled down, has accepted this as her reality, for any of his chemically enhanced affection is better than his sober disdain. She has nobody else in her corner anyway, so she might as well just let him drag her to the bottom with him.

I like to think that the hints of Dean's motives would be obvious if you were to go back and read it again. I was honestly, incredibly fascinated by the response to him and the debate around whether he was bad or good. It felt like there were people who could plainly see what he was doing and people who, like me once, saw the things he was doing as normal and easy to explain away. That's the thing though, he was doing normal things. Walking someone home is okay, maybe touching someone's palm at a party is okay, but it's not always about these singular actions. It's a gut feeling, something inexplicable. A heightened feeling, you noticing that something is missing from their gaze, a feeling of being observed or tested by them. I know to be aware of these things now, but I would have never ever known that when I was 19.

I’ve been holding off talking about my intentions for him for a very long time, and honestly, chomping at the bit to tell you who he really is, but the discussion was so varied and interesting that I was actually happy to step back and let everyone talk. I was also a little afraid of admitting my own blindness when I was in a similar situation. I realised during part 2 that I really don't have control over the characters and how likeable or unlikeable they are. A hero to one person may be a villain to another.

I know this is a long post but I'm glad to get it off my chest. Now you know ;)

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sillyinternetgf · 5 months ago

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here to tell all the things that no one asked

1. What do you really need right now?

- a jay, haagen dazs caramel cone ice cream, and a road trip

2. What are some of the things that have made you who you are?

- bad horror movies, generational substance abuse, and my childhood dog

3. What are some of your pet peeves?

- not reaching my potential and the lack of empathy

4. Share a dark thought? (Go on, vent a little)

- umm read my blog duhh

5. Something that makes you ridiculously happy?

- finding a toad after a fresh rain

6. What are you craving?

-affection only another person with mental illness could give me

7. Song stuck in your head?

-my first kiss by 3oh!3 ft kesha

8. Last thing you watched?

- x2 (god I love cheesy superhero movies)

9. Shows on your watch list?

-arrested development, jujutsu kaisen, and maybe eventually I'll get to shameless

10. Books on your reading list?

-keepers of the garden by dolores cannon and green delusions by martin lewis

11. Something on your wish list?

- headphones

12. Something you want to monologue about?

- the frustration of forced stagnation

13. If you were a note, what note would you be?

-post-it notes: that pretty mid blue color, music notes: G note, notes in general: pls don't tow my car i will be right back

14. Tactician, fighter, generalist, or supportive role?

-shikamaru nara

15. Talk about a stuffie.

- my baby kitty is my childhood stuffie that I carried around until I was 13 yrs old it's the "starlett 2000 ty beanie baby" and wow does she hold so much trauma

16. They say you can tell a lot about a person from the state of their desk... Do you have a desk? Can you describe it?

-no desk, the world is my surface and i do not wish to work at a desk

17. Space, enchanted forest, magical kingdom, or underwater city?

- enchanted forest

18. What are some of the meanings of your name? (Or url if you don't want to say.)

-my parents chose my name as a mix between a popular movie and something that sounded original. horrible idea. i just go by my nickname now, Dani.

19. What fictional doctor do you wish was your doctor?

- Dr. House

20. Are you a gamer? What was the last game you played?

-sims 4 with basemental drug mod

21. How do you take your pizza?

- large, green chile, pep, topped with parmesan and a side of buttermilk ranch

22. Strangest thing that has happened to you this week?

- getting sick for the first time in over a year

23. Share a bit of philosophy?

- just be ur weird, off putting self bc if they don't like u, then they were never able to handle u anyways

24. Do you follow the news?

-forcibly

25. What's on your mind?

- my summer plans

26. What is your dream mode of transportation?

- teleportation

27. What fascinates you about humanity?

- the love and pain we all share

28. What about life makes you smile?

- finding a song that tickles my brain

29. A dream you wish to make true?

- avenging my child/teenage self

30. What is your favourite way to create?

-through self expression and being funny i create relationships with people even if it means liking each other's posts

#questions #sad lol #shitpost

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sigurdjarlson · 2 years ago

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Not to be a hater, Daryl is one of my favs but I personally have doubts he can hold a show by himself and idc what rando they stick him with (probably a woman they’ll ship bait fans with) in it. I don’t think it’ll work.

Like don’t read this if you’re excited about the Daryl spinoff I don’t wanna rain on anyone’s parade. These are just my own opinions

Disclaimer: I haven’t watched the last season but I do know some major plot points and also a lot of the Carol and Daryl stuff

Like I can’t even express my disappointment that the Carol and Daryl spin off was cancelled. I absolutely respect Melissa’s desire for a break. This isn’t about her because she’s valid and I love her. I think they’re just..stupid to go ahead with it without her.

The Carol and Daryl spin off would have worked because they already have this deep rich relationship and it hasn’t been concluded in a satisfying way. (Whether they get together romantically or not)

Also Daryl has arguably always been at his best character wise when interacting with Carol (um prior to the last two seasons at least)

He only started to become a more complex character when his scenes with Carol began. Their shared histories of abuse, his insistence in finding Sophia and grief at failing. The immensely strong bond that develops despite on the surface being quite different at first Comparing s1 and 2 Carol to s1 and 2 Daryl) but they’re really not, they’re both survivors and they find solace in each other.

They both bounce off each other in this really fun way too in more light hearted scenes too. They’re funny together

I genuinely think the episode where her and Daryl are on their own and stay in the woman’s shelter is one of the best episodes.

His relationship with Carol does more for Daryl’s character than any other relationship he has in the show. Merle and Rick definitely play their roles too but she’s the reason most people started liking him.

And Daryl plays a huge role in Carol’s development too of course. (I do think Carol stands in her own as a character way better though and it’s probably because so much of Daryl gets reduced to cool bsdass dude with a crossbow and him grunting in the background for like several seasons)

Carol who goes from flinching at his anger, expecting and accepting what she thinks he’ll do vs Carol eventually grabbing him by the arm while he’s mid rage mode and beating the shit out of guy and telling him to cut that shit out with no fear whatsoever because she knows he’d never hurt her. And Daryl who canonically is difficult to stop when he’s like that stops. For her.

What about how Daryl, the big tough redneck, who once flinched when Carol of all people raises a hand to tend to his wounds because he expects pain. Daryl who covered his scars as quickly as possible so no one sees. And then how Daryl who grows to not only accept physical affection from her but initiate it. The level of trust and love there okay..

But now we have Daryl who fucks random women in the woods and apparently has this grand meaningful relationship with someone he never mentions until now. He then proceeds to kill her and this effects nothing. What even was the point of the Leah arc it was terrible

And don’t even get me started on how poorly their conflict about Alpha and Carol almost dying (and presumably getting Connie and Magna killed due to her recklessness although I’d argue it wasn’t her fault but I digress the show treats it like it is) was handled like it could have been so heart wrenching but no let’s keep this awkward angry tension until we decide it’s better now with no proper resolution.

Also they made Daryl a huge hypocrite in that arc

Like they even say outside of it Daryl is just terrified of losing her but why aren’t you as writers showing that? Why is he just glaring at her and snapping at her over trivial things but we never get him snapping and inadvertently revealing that to her on screen? Give us some kind of emotional catharsis.

Why does he seemingly know she tried to commit suicide and all he has to say about it “thanks for saving her” to Lydia. Also how does he know? did Lydia tell him bc I know Carol didn’t with how she’s been walking on egg shells with him

Canonically Daryl “flips the fuck out when Carol is in danger” would have a pretty damn big possibly explosive reaction to that I think. He’d be angry initially yes because Daryl responds to hurt and fear with anger but at it’s root it’s about losing her. He’d probably say all the wrong things at first but he’d reveal without meaning to how fucking scared he is and how could she even consider…that

And give me her finding comfort in her best friend, finally letting him in like he’s been begging her too and letting out the massive amount of grief and pain she’s been hiding. (She’s lost FOUR children in horribly traumatic ways)

Just we had so much potential and got none of it :(

I’ve seen the ending scene with them and it’s sweet but it isn’t at all what they deserve. I’m not whining bc they should have made them romantically canon (although I do wish they would have) I just want proper resolution to one of the best dynamics the show has ever created.

Angela Kang promised a heart to heart but we never really got that from what I’ve heard? Brief moments but nothing like she promised and Daryl’s continuous flip flopping with her is annoying af.

I don’t think his spin off will work. Especially with some of the silly stuff I’ve heard rumored about it. It’s gonna flop like most of the spin offs will flop.

Like I can’t think of anything less interesting than a Negan and Maggie spin off and I say this as someone who loves Negan.

Rick and Michonne might be alright and at least it’ll give us closure but honestly most people don’t even seem excited about that anymore.

#maybe my opinion will change when I eventually watch the last season but from what I’ve heard what we got was subpar at best and just #bad writing at worst #twd blogging #maybe I’ve missed things and context #I don’t think so tho

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mykneeshurt · 2 years ago

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Haunted pt 4

Price has some unexpected news for you.

Some smut heheh sorry the format is so weird I type it in my notes on my phone then copy and paste … also in my head he has hair like detective Loki from prisoners cause it makes me froth at the fuckin mouth. Part 5

If there was one way you’d describe Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley it would like an abused cat. He’d been hurt so badly in the past he struggled to trust, struggled to let people in. Everything was on his terms, no rushing, no pleasing, no begging for attention. When he felt ready you’d know about it, he’d make himself known. And when you earned that trust it never faltered. You knew when he relaxed into your hand on the plane, and kissed you first that you had earned it.

The rest of the plane ride was uneventful, you both shared furtive glances with one another. Trying desperately to not get caught, the last thing you needed was getting ribbed by Soap. Again in the jeep on the way to the safe house you were squashed in between Ghost and Soap. Except this time he relaxed into you, it took all of your strength to refrain from leaning your head on his shoulder. To feel even closer to him, longing for his warmth and touch.

Arriving at the new safe house in the dead of night was disorientating. You had no idea where you were, it was in the middle of no where, isolated and deserted. The old house was a modest size, 2 storey stone cottage. Must have been a farm house. On entering, the cold Russian air nipped at your nose making it go a bright shade of red. ‘Fuckin baltic in here’ Soap grumbled ‘get that fuckin fire goin.’ There were fire lighters next to the fire and fire wood outside which Gaz went to fetch.

While those two were starting the fire you wandered off to explore the house, Price opting to use the dining room to call Laswell. Walking up the creaky stairs you dragged your fingers along the bannister, you couldn’t help but wonder about all the people who have used these stairs. Who they were, what their story was. At the top of the stairs were 3 modest size bedrooms and one small bedroom. Opting for the small bedroom you could use as your sleeping quarters and clinic if needed. The house smelt old and musty, clearly not been used in a while. Flicking on the switch you sighed in relief, at least they’ve installed electricity. This was clearly the most impressive safe house you’ve stayed in, normally they were hovels with no electricity and a barely functioning toilet.

Setting up your clinic there was a small knock at the door, turning round to see who it is you instantly smiled. Ghost stood filling the doorway, ‘so you do know how to knock?’ you quipped.

‘Eh’ he shrugged ‘when the occasion calls for it. Besides it’s fun making people jump.’ Shooting him a glare you let out an unimpressed grunt, ‘you ok?’ Nodding he entered the small box room ‘just wanted to come see you. Make sure you’re settling in ok.’ Smirking you raised an eyebrow ‘I think I can handle unpacking Simon. Scariest thing here is you.’ He feigned offence whilst getting closer to you. ‘I’m glad you kissed me’ he muttered. You’re pretty sure your heart just skipped an entire beat.

Blushing you looked away from him ‘yeah? How come?’ Why did he make you feel like a giddy child with a crush? ‘Been wantin to do that to you for ages.’

‘Oh. And what stopped you?’

‘Not very good at that kinda stuff, I’m good at killin an’ telling bad jokes.’

‘Not something to be proud of, telling bad jokes’ you laughed ‘some of them are HORRIFIC!’ Letting out a quiet snort he closed you into the wall and placed his mouth watering arms to the sides of your head. You felt giddy, thighs once again seeking each other to relieve some of the pressure that was building. You placed your hands on his slutty little waist and pulled him closer still. Using your one hand you slipped his mask up just enough to see his lips. Both reaching for each other, your lips pressed together a moan slipping from your throat. ‘Steady now’ he drawled into your mouth ‘someone might catch us.’ Breathless you peered up at him ‘with how I feel right now I couldn’t give a fuck.’

Satisfied with your answer his giant hands cupped your face as he deepened the kiss. Gripping onto his tense forearms you felt his muscles ripple beneath your fingers. You slid your thumbs underneath to stroke the soft part of his forearms. ‘I’ve missed these lips’ he whispered.

‘It’s been less than 5 hours Simon’ you snorted.

‘Well, when you’ve waited a lifetime … ‘ he didn’t even need to finish the sentence before your mouth was on his. Sliding your tongue past his lips you met his, they danced slowly together. Your jaws moving in tandem with one another. You got lost in one another’s embrace, feeling every part of one another as if you’ve been touch starved.

A cough at the door interrupted the both of you. Peering round Simon, Soap was stood at the door arms crossed and eyebrow raised. ‘Price wants to see us … but I can let him know you’re busy.’

‘No! No no, we’ll be there now.’ You blurted out ‘Soap, not a fucking word’ you hissed pointing at him. He mimed zipping his mouth shut before walking downstairs. Giggling you placed a small peck on his lips before pulling the mask back down covering his face. ‘Come on, before they wonder when we went.’

Entering the dining room Price was at the head of the table, maps strewn all over it. ‘Nice of you two to join us’ he mused ‘now, intel states two of Makarov’s men will be meeting here, in this cafe tomorrow. We need to know what they’re up to. Ghost you’re on look out, plenty of buildings to use. Gaz and Soap you’ll be undercover outside the cafe, keep an eye out for any activity. Doc, I know it’s a big ask but we need you to go undercover too.’ Looking confused you went to speak but Price cut you off ‘nothing as bad as last time. Got another Sargent from Ghost team coming in to help. Knows Makarov like the back of his hand, his intel is priceless. You’ll be paired with him, act like a couple in the cafe and see what you can find out.’ Your eyes shot over to Ghost who was visibly tense and avoiding all eye contact with you. ‘Who is it im gonna be paired with?’

‘Sargent Keegan P Russ. He’ll be here in a few hours.’ Your face dropped and blood ran cold. Of all fucking people why did it have to be him? ‘There a problem?’

‘No, no. No problem sir’ you replied, voice wobbling.

But there was a problem. A fucking huge one. Keegan and you had been an item for a few years when you were younger. You were a rookie placed in his team and you were drawn to each other instantly. The sex was incredible, full of desire and passion. Pure lust.

𖦹

As soon as you stepped foot in your office, Keegan backed you against the wall. He sprang from behind the door, closing it as he crowded you. His arms placed either side of your head as he dipped close to your ear. ‘Fuck. I need you.’ Gazing up at him you could feel your stomach drop and thighs clench at his masked face.

‘How bad?’ You whisper to him, grinning slightly, making a conscious effort not to touch him. To deny him as much as you could. It’s more fun when he’s worked up. ‘I want to worship you. Feel you cum, hear you moan my name. Beg for me.’ Biting your lip you could feel your panties becoming soaked. He knew exactly what buttons to push.

The black paint around his ice blue eyes only made them more expressive, searching yours for any objection. He’d never find any. Ever. ‘Make me beg Keegan.’ Gripping your face you let out a small whimper as he reached inside your gym leggings. What the fuck is he doing? He let go of your face before his free hand met the other and you heard a ripping sound. One side and then the other, he did this so quickly, you didn’t have any time to register what he ripped before he’s tying your panties around my neck.

Your eyes widening in shock and hunger you whimpered again. This fucking man. Pulling your panties tight around your neck he moans in a low voice ‘You’re gonna have to beg me for mercy.’

𖦹

Suddenly feeling quite sick you left the dining room and quickly made your way outside. Retching into the snowy landscape the contents of your dinner reintroduced themselves. Eyes watering from the force of the vomit exiting your stomach you spluttered, trying to compose yourself. ‘Hey hey hey’ Ghost soothed rubbing your back. You reach back and gripped onto his arm to steady yourself. ‘Deep breaths, come on love. What the fuck has got you so wound up?’ Gulping for breath you steadied yourself and slowly stood up brushing the tears from your face. Moaning to yourself you eventually regulated your breathing. You walked over to a tree stump in the yard and plonked yourself with a thump. Ghost sat next to you and held your thigh with a reassuring grip. ‘I can’t do it Simon. I can’t do what Price wants of me.’

He slid his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in. All he wanted to do was to keep you safe and stop the obvious distress you were in. ‘Why? Price believes in you. I believe in you.’ That statement alone made you tear up, to hear that coming from him meant so much. Taking in a deep breath you flopped your head into your hands. ‘Keegan and I used to … be a thing. I’ve not seen him in years. We didn’t end on the greatest of terms … we hurt each other.’ His grip tightened on your shoulder, his breath sounded heavy. Feeling this you turned towards him and placed your hand on his face, forcing him to look at you. ‘This doesn’t change how I feel about you Simon.’

Without saying a word he got up and disappeared into the house. Feeling the bitter sting of rejection you stayed outside trying to calm your thoughts. ‘Alright kid?’ You jumped at the sound of Price’s voice cutting through the silence. ‘Oh, yeah, sorry sir. Must have eaten something funny.’ You tried to smile up at him but he saw straight through it. ‘You were fine till I mentioned Keegan. Anything I should know about?’

Letting out a deep sigh you crossed your arms ‘we were a thing, years ago. Didn’t end well. But I won’t let it get in the way of the mission sir.’

‘Make sure you don’t. But thanks for telling me kid. That have anything to do with Simon stomping off?’

‘Maybe’ you said blushing.

‘He’ll come round. Get some rest kid.’

Price was like the father you never had, reassuring, validating and truly believed in you. You went about your night routine almost mindlessly. Saying goodnight the boys you shut your door and ran your hands over your face. How you wanted to see Ghost, reassure him he’s the one you want. Settling into bed you tried to drop off, but your mind was racing all your thoughts muddling in together. Just as you felt as though you were finally about to drop off you heard your door creak open. The room was pitch black, you could vaguely see someone stood in the doorway. The light from the downstairs fire dimly lighting the hall behind them. You knew that silhouette anywhere. Simon.

The floorboard creaked underneath him as he made his way to the small bed. Facing the wall he slid in behind you, wearing a t-shirt and joggers. He snaked his hands around your waist and pulled you in close to him. Planting small kisses along your neck you reached behind you to find he wasn’t wearing his mask. Eye widening with realisation you went to turn round in the bed, which you’re sure would have looked comical. A man of his size trying to squeeze in next to you. ‘Shhhh face the wall’ he cooed. Doing as you were told you shifted back, his grip tightened on your hips. ‘That’s it … good girl.’ Biting your lip to stifle a moan you pushed back into him, his cock already hard. He slid his right arm under your neck and weaved his fingers into yours, before slowly inching his way into your pyjama bottoms. He coaxed your legs open slightly and tenderly dragged his fingers along your slit. Kneading your lips slowly, tantalisingly close to your clit you arched your back begging for him to touch you. Parting your lips with his ring and forefinger his slipped his middle finger down the middle. Just kissing your clit as he found how wet you were.

He let out a deep breathy moan in your ear ‘shit, already?’ You gripped his hand tighter, desperately seeking friction, any kind of friction, just something to ease the ache. He slowly inserted his middle finger causing you to throw your head back. He nuzzled into your neck, peppering it with kisses. He began to move his finger in a disgustingly delicious rhythm, before adding his ring finger. You turned your head into the pillow to muffle the noises coming from you. He was beginning to come undone, seeing you whimper beneath him. Your neck stretched out just as he’d imagined all those nights he spent alone palming his cock over the thought of you. The sound of your wetness filled the room ‘you sound perfect, let me hear you’ he cooed.

Reaching down you began to circle your clit, ‘that’s it … fuck’ he groaned. Circling your clit with a firm touch you began to feel your orgasm brewing. Whispering into the darkness you begged him to fuck you. Your voice giving out from pure need. He shifted slightly so you could feel how hard he was against you. ‘Not yet … you need be a good girl for me first.’ Becoming slightly teary eyed at the perceived rejection you muffled desperate begs into his arm. The tease of your orgasm had you writhing in the bed, sensing how close you were he shifted his arm so it laid over your mouth. ‘Moan into my arm love … let me hear you. Let me feel you around my fingers.’

That was it. That was enough to push you over the edge, your muscles tightening over him you let out a euphoric moan into his skin. Beads of sweat teased your brow as you rode out the blissful feeling. ‘Please kiss me Simon’ you somehow managed to mutter. Removing his fingers he inserted them into your mouth, coaxing you to taste yourself. Slowly sucking his fingers he hissed at the sensation before placing them in his own mouth, savouring your taste. Finally allowing you to shift you turned to face him, the darkness of the room still allowed him to feel comfortable. His face still hidden. Bringing your hand to his chest you slowly crept up his toned torso until you reach his neck, sliding your hands into his hair you pulled him close. His lips danced over yours as he nipped at your lips with his tongue, still tasting you on your skin. ‘You taste so fuckin good.’ Digging your nails into his scalp you silently urged him to kiss you. ‘Please…’ you pleaded again.

‘There it is’ he purred ‘you sound so good when you beg for me.’ Placing his lips on yours you sank into the kiss, involuntarily bucking your hips into his.

Your tongues intertwined as you became one in the bed, limbs tangled within each other desperate to feel every inch. He cupped your face, still revelling in the softness of your skin. He couldn’t believe his luck, not only did he feel safe with you, you wanted him. Knowing his past, what he’s been through, and it hasn’t scared you away. Soon enough you were asleep in his arms, he laid there with you for a while. Enjoying your warmth, your scent, the small noises you made when you slept. Before he knew it he allowed himself to … smile.

#fan fic smut #ghost x you #simon ghost riley #call of duty #smut #cod mw22 #fluff #ghost x reader

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linkspooky · 4 years ago

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Yuji, Alone.

I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support.

Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut.

1. Yuji and Geto

If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.”

Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all.

Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people.

This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?

Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously.

To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society.

Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.

Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap.

Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences.

To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid.

Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested.

Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only.

However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo.

Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other.

"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.

Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)

All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?

Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things. Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with.

Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them.

Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.

Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else.

2. Avoidant Attachment

This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother.

Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years.

Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one.

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help.

Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped.

During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people.

And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own.

It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo.

I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.

It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others.

I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.

Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird. I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.

At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional.

Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions.

Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him.

Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone.

#yuji itadori #megumi fushigoro #kugisaki nobara #suguru geto #choso #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #jjk 138 #jujutsu kaisen 138 #jujutsu kaisen

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bunnyywritings · 3 years ago

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bubbly s/o opens up about trauma pt. 1

bakugou katsuki & shouto todoroki x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k

requested by anon: Katsu, Sho, Izu, and Eiji headcanons to their bubbly, and sweet crush, and close friend, opening up to them about being abused by their parents growing up? They've gotten therapy and are living with their Grandparents but sometimes they get upset when someone brings up parents or asks about the scars from abuse. They tell them they shared this with them because they refused to lie to them. They hug him close, thanking him for being a good friend. -Morp

[a/n: i hope you don’t mind that I’m doing it in parts anon! i ended up doing scenarios for each one, i'm a bit rusty so i apologize if this isn't very well done. you can read part 2 [ here ] ,thank you for requesting sweet heart! here you go! - yours truly, bunny -`ღ´- ]

TW: mentions of parental abuse & scars, nothing explicit but implied

To an extent, he always knew. Maybe not the specifics, but whenever you were alone and thought no one was paying any attention, you’d let your guard down. The metaphorical sparkle in your eyes would dim, your shoulders would slump as if you were taking a break. Then someone would approach and in the blink of an eye, the sparkle was back and the familiar grin on your lips was present once again. Despite what others may think, Bakugou was a good friend.

He worried about you. A lot.

That may be due to the fact that he has a huge crush on you, but it was unlikely. He values your friendship so much. He’d rather have you as a friend than anything else, really. That was mainly his insecurity talking though. He just thought he wasn’t good enough for you. No one was, really. But that’s besides the point.

He had never explicitly said anything about his feelings for you but he didn’t need to. It was quite clear through his actions. Well...clear to everyone but you, that is. Even Aizawa had caught on. And he couldn’t care less about his students’ love lives. He’s had his fill of teenage angst and drama.

During training, he’d always make sure your water bottle was full or during lunch he’d keep an eye out and make sure you were eating. Sometimes he’d even give you extra pieces of meat from his plate, or if he had veggies he knows you like, he’d wordlessly place them into your rice bowl.

Now this wasn’t one sided at all. You also had your ways of looking out for him.

If you were doing a convenience store run with Sero and you saw the particular snack that Bakugou likes, you’d instantly grab a few. For his birthday, you had gotten him custom earplugs for quirk training. It had been after you and him were paired to spar against each other, he always insisted on not holding back against you out of respect, and you had experienced one of his full blown attacks head-on. Your ears were ringing for about half an hour before you could somewhat hear again, and even then, everything was a bit muffled.

Needless to say, you were worried about his hearing

He scoffed and rolled his eyes when he unwrapped the box. Scolding you for wasting money on something he had no use for.

He always uses them though. Especially when he’s doing stamina training, and it’s explosion after explosion.

Anyways. He notices your strange behavior, one day. You stopped trying to keep up the façade and you were sort of gloomy all day. He was absolutely pissed that no one had noticed the change, and he’d yell at them later for it, but he kept his cool and waited until he could be alone with you.

It had been around 8pm, just an hour before his bedtime, when he made some tea for the both of you and carried it up to your dorm room. He paused in front of your door, looking down at both his hands, a mug in each one, then looking at the door handle. Realizing he won't be able to physically open the door by himself, he awkwardly bumped the door with his elbow.

“Hey idiot, it’s me. Open the door.” He grumbled quietly, frowning when you hadn’t responded. Before he could repeat himself a little more aggressively, the muffled sound of your sniffling made his stomach drop. Panic rising throughout his body as he made up worst case scenarios in his head.

“(Y/n), seriously. Is everything okay?” All attempts to sound calm failed as his voice betrayed him, trembling the slightest bit.

On the other side of the door, you started to panic. Furiously wiping any evidence of tears or snot from your face before you slumped over to the door, turning the lock and tugging it open to reveal a frowning Bakugou. He wasn’t upset, he was worried. It was evident in his red irises.

“Here. Drink it before it gets cold.” He handed you a mug before walking past you and into your room. He admired the decor everytime he was in there, no matter how many times he had seen it already, it never failed to make his heart warm. You had a wall full of pictures of yourself with your friends. There were a few solo photos of your friends as well. Most were candid shots, there were a fair few of him.

It always reminded him that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. You cherished those candid photos because in your eyes, when your friends were carefree and themselves, no poses, no facade, that’s when they were their most beautiful.

He took a seat on your bed and patted the space beside him. Nudging the door shut, you made your way over and got comfortable.

“What’s up with you today? You seemed...not yourself.”

You didn’t respond, opting to take a sip of your tea. He knew there was something up and he wasn’t gonna push you. So he leaned back and got comfortable, waiting until you were ready. It was a solid three minutes of silence before you took a deep breath.

“I-I don’t want to lie to you, Katsuki. It just wouldn’t be fair so uhh, yeah. Here goes.” He could tell that this was overwhelming for you so, wordlessly, he put down his mug and held his hand out to you and you grasped it, like it was a lifeline.

And you told him.

You told him about the abuse from your own parents. He felt his blood boil as you showed him a few scars inflicted by your parents’ quirks. You explained that it was the anniversary of the day you ran away and went to live with your grandparents, and how you had been seeing a therapist on the regular since then.

It pained him to see you struggle through the tears, hiccuping a few times as you attempted to catch your breath. You didn’t even have to say it but he could see it, it was an all too familiar feeling to him. He tugged you to him, letting go of your hand and pulling you into his chest, his arms wrapping you up in a warmth that made the stinging tears return.

“You know, this doesn’t make me think less of you. You’re not weak. Those bastards don’t realize how bad they screwed up. You’re strong, and they’re gonna regret every goddamn choice they’ve made when they see how far you’ll go.”

“Thank you.” You whimpered as you gave in to the new wave of tears, hooking your arms around his shoulders. “Thank you…”

If anyone asks, no...he wasn’t crying. (He was though.)

If anyone was familiar with the signs of abuse, it was him.

It hurt him so much knowing that you had gone through what he did, maybe not to the same extreme but you had experienced it nonetheless.

He admired you though. Despite whatever happened to you, you were always bright. Always in a good mood and always choosing to see the good in people. He knows that he didn’t have the strength to do that. Maybe eventually, but not so soon. He had never wanted to pry. You guys were friends, practically best friends and he trusted that you’d tell him when you were ready.

To his knowledge, no one knew. No one mentioned the way you’d flinch around sudden movements or when someone raised their voice. Honestly, it was a wonder that you had even befriended Iida. He was the epitome of loud and sudden. Always waving his arms around at the randomest times and always shouting to chastise someone for breaking a rule.

He noticed that you tended to cover up your torso often. Never really wearing anything more revealing than a normal t-shirt. Even on the class trip to the beach, you insisted on staying covered up. No one questioned it, chalking it up to insecurity. Even during training when everyone had to wear their gym uniform, while others undid the top part and wrapped it around their waist, being clad in a tank top or sports bra, you had always kept it on. Even when it was extremely hot. More often than not, he found himself resting his palm against your forehead to cool you off.

It hadn’t been very hot, but Aizawa decided to run everyone ragged with combat training, so everyone was partnered up. Todoroki had been partnered with Denki and you had been paired up with Eijirou.

As he sat with his classmates, watching the two of you spar, he was quite impressed. Not that he doubted your skill but both fighting styles were drastically different. Eijirou and his quirk relied on close combat while your quirk worked best with long-range. He could see the frustration on your face when Eijirou kept charging towards you and engaging in hand to hand.

As the fight went on, Kirishima had hardened his forearm and hand, kinda like a makeshift blade and as he took you down, he had accidentally cut the top of your gym uniform. As the dust settled and the both of you got up, the tear in your clothes allowed the whole class to see your back and shoulders, skin littered with scars. All were different in size, color, severity, etc.

Everyone was stunned silent, not having expected anything like this.

“(Y/n)...what happened?” You could feel the breeze on your back and the pity in Kirishima’s eyes made you angry.

Everyone suddenly snapped into realization. Various questions of; ‘who did that to you?’, ‘where did those come from?’ and whatnot were shot at you from different directions. He could see you slowly being overwhelmed by everything. His heart dropped as he made eye contact with you, your eyes tired and filled with tears.

“That’s ENOUGH!” Everyone froze and looked at Todoroki with wide eyes, his voice booming.

Sensing the tension starting to rise, Aizawa sighed.

“Alright everyone settle down. Training is over, get back to class. (Y/n). A word.”

Reluctantly, Todoroki followed the boys into the locker room and changed into his school uniform. When everyone was out and he returned outside to the training grounds, you and Aizawa weren’t there so he had gone back to the locker rooms. He knocked and called out to you.

“Can I come in?” He heard a meek ‘yeah.’ So he carefully made his way inside.

There you were, dressed in your school uniform and sat on a bench with your face buried in your hands, shoulders shaking.

“(Y/n)...” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, he winced when you looked up at him. IIt ached him to see your beautiful eyes tainted by tears.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner Sho…” Your bottom lip quivered.

“Please, don’t apologize.” He opened his arms. You stood up and basically collapsed into them, clutching onto the back of his blazer. “Just always remember that I may understand more than anyone else will. I’ll never judge you, you know that right?”

“I know…It’s just, ugh-” You pulled away and wiped the tears from your face. “I don’t want anyone to change how they look at me because of what my parents did to me and when everyone saw, and they were asking all of their questions, their eyes...they were just full of pity.”

“Then look into mine.”

And when you did, you didn’t see pity.

You saw admiration. You saw belonging. Love. Understanding.

“Nothing will ever change with me, (Y/n).” He pressed his forehead against yours, “I will always be here for you.”

#anon request #bnha #bnha x gn!reader #mha x gn!reader #mha #shouto todoroki x gn!reader #bakugou katsuki x gn!reader #shouto todoroki x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #angst #comfort

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omgkatinka · 4 years ago

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Breaking and Entering

Summary: Your cat gets you into trouble with your grumpy new neighbour

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Reader

>>> chapter 2

Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of death, mentions of abuse; anxiety, angst, grumpy neighbour / Also: English is not my native language and this is my first and probably last attempt at writing. I do not even know why I tried. This is eventually a result of procrastinating from learning for my exam next week. I mixed up tenses.

Also not betad.

Words: 2.127

Here you were. New Job. New city. New apartment. Again. The past years have been a hassle of starting over.

When did your life take that turn? When your mother died? When you had to leave your grandfather to live with your father because you were underage? When instead going to study English literature like you always dreamed of your father made sure you’d get some fancy business master’s degree? Or when your ex-fiancé abused you and no one believed you because he was not just abusive but manipulative. Your life possibly finally took that turn when you ran. Head over heels. Leaving everything behind but your cat. You stopped counting the places you lived. Well rather visited for you never stayed long. Sometimes your ex would show up and you’d flee. Or you thought you had seen him in a crowd and flee. Or you were getting restless. High Functioning Flight Mode. All the damn time.

Moving days were a constant companion and those days smelled like freedom. It was just you, your SUV and your cat. The little fella would proudly ride shotgun while you sang along your old school rock playlist. Your whole life fit into a car.

This time it is Minneapolis. Large city. Anonymous, easy to vanish. You scored a job at a major financial player. Major as in Fortune 500 major. Thankfully, you worked project based for a while now, so no one ever really questioned your constant moving all over the nation. If they ever read that far in your resume that is. Summa cum laude in combination with a Harvard degree opened most doors for you.

The furnished apartment you found was in a half decent neighbourhood for a change. It was not the smallest you’d lived in and it faced the back of the building onto a yard hosting a huge oak tree.

Settling into Minneapolis was easier than it should have been. Your new co-workers were friendly. Too friendly. Not one lunch break you would get to spend on your own. Especially Marta from accounting was keen to talk to you. She was lovely. It was not her fault you never made friends. Because you never stayed. But still, that insistent woman and a couple of more people gave you a sense of familiarity you would never have expected from a huge company like that.

Most of the new neighbours greeted friendly too. Most, apart from one. When you were unloading your car, he stood right in your way, a bear of a man, shooting you a death glare. Mumbling something about not being allowed to park here and stomping off. You did not pay attention to his word, being intimidated by his sheer size. A broad beast, grumpy at that. You made a mental note to avoid him. Great plan.

Here ‘s the thing with your plans: they tend to simply not work. Three weeks after starting over, you come home to for once not being greeted by Jack. Your cat Jack. Named after an infamous pirate because of his funny face and weird way to walk. Not being greeted by Jack stirred panic. He was old but almost never failed to wait at the door for you. He did not today. Searching the whole place for him you came up empty. When you realised, you had left the bedroom window open in the morning you started to hyperventilate. He liked to sit outside on the fire escape while you got ready in the mornings. Looking outside he is not there either. By now you were freaking out, running downstairs, calling for Jack. Climbing up the roof. Nothing. By now you were crying. Starting to search the apartment one more time. And then once more. At some point you cried yourself to sleep until you are woken up by frantic knocking at your door. While still trying to figure out where you’re at, you glimpse the clock. It says 2 a.m.. Great. And what is this noise? Right. Knocking. On the door. Furious by now.

Opening your door, you find your grumpy neighbour. Even more grumpy. Scowling. „Is this thing yours? “ he asks, lifting Jack into your line of vision.

As relieved as you were to have your cat back. That was when things got out of hand. Thanks to that scare you frantically double checked every window every day before leaving for work. All is good for five days. When you get home on the sixth though – Jack is gone. Again. And the window you double checked the very same morning is open. You panic. Torn between hoping Jack broke into your grumpy neighbours’ place again hence being safe and him sitting on the roof calling out pigeons. You check the yard, the roof. No Jack. Hesitantly you knock at Mr. Grumpy’s door. No answer. Going onto midnight you hear the elevator and spy onto the floor. There he is. You brace yourself and head out. Looking apologetic. „um Hi, I am so sorry, but my cat escaped again. Would you mind checking if he did break into your place again? “. He does not answer. Unless grunts count as answers. He just raises an eyebrow at you and tilts his head in direction of his door. You avoid breathing and follow him into his apartment. Where you find your cat sits lounging on the couch like he owns the place. You cannot help but snort. That is what you get naming the little fella after a pirate. Breaking and entering seems to be his thing. It takes you a moment to realise Mr. Grumpy is staring at you, so you take a deep breath, apologize again and introduce yourself. „You really need to close your windows, you know? Not just from keeping that thing in your place but also to keep others out.“. Telling him, you double checked your windows just earns you a headshake. And there is that critical eyebrow again. Great. Then it dawns on you „if your so adamant on checking windows, how do you think Jack got in here? “. Now he looks puzzled. „Who is Jack? “ he asks and you fight hard to not snort again. “The cat, obviously” you answer. That earns you another grunt. ‘Great at communication that specimen’ you think and grab your cat. “Uhm, I am so sorry he, uhm…, we invaded your place again. So so sorry. Thanks for your patience. Good night, Mister?” “Marshall”. And that is the last thing he says. “Well good night Mister Marshall”. At that you hold on to your furry, purring companion and head back into your apartment. From now it will be triple checking the windows it seems.

Three times within the next you need to get your cat from his new favourite hideaway during the next week. The only new thing is Mr Grumpy telling you “it’s just Marshall”. Everything else is the same. Like being trapped in a fucking time lapse. Him scowling, telling you to “fucking check your windows” and giving you that critical eyebrow of doom. Each time though, you start to notice things. About his place. About him. He seems to live out of boxes. His shelves are empty. The only cosy thing seems to be the fluffy blanket Jack made his favourite place on the black leather couch. Also, he wears a gun. And a batch. You despise guns but guess this one comes with the job. And his accent is foreign. No, not foreign, it is English. A bit like a lost, grumpy Mr. Darcy. WHAT? Mr. Darcy? You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you finally going insane? Now take your cat and get out of here!

How do you reason with a cat? You surely tried but the next time you have not even noticed Jack vanishing. It’s a Saturday and you were just filling your coffee cup when there is knocking on your door again. You open the door to a sleepy looking Marshall, holding Jack. Shrugging. Something is different. Taking your cat out of his huge hands you are about to apologize again, when he beats you to speaking “did you just make coffee?”. You nod and he steps into your apartment. “Well, come in, why don’t you?” you mutter and find him standing in front of your kitchen island, scratching his head, looking kind of lost. With huge eyes and a suddenly small voice he says “sorry for barging in like that, your little fella here woke me up. Pretty sassy for such a small guy. Would you mind sharing a cup of coffee? I forgot to go grocery shopping and seem to run out of everything.”. For a moment you stare at him, stunned from the number of words he just threw at you and the lack of grunts. When you remember how to use your words, you tell him to take a seat, grab a cup and ask him how he prefers his coffee. Fixing both your cups and setting them on the table you finally get to apologize again for your little intruder, constantly breaking into his place. Marshall just shrugs at that and admits, that he has no idea how Jack opens the windows. He himself started to double and triple check his windows and it should not even be possible to open them from the outside. It is that moment you realise what is different. He looks sleepy but barely as tired as before and more important. He’s not grumpy. That’s new. And you do not know how to handle that. After silently drinking his coffee, he thanks you for the coffee and crouches down to pet Jack and tells him something that sounds like ‘see you mate’, then tells you goodbye and takes his leave.

It is the next Friday that you come home to a post-it on your door with “Jack is visiting” scribbled on it. Somehow you remember your cat not being overly fond with men, but he seems to have a soft spot for this one. Or his couch. Taking a deep breath, you turn and move over to knock at the next door. Heavy relaxed footsteps near and Marshall opens the door widely, motioning for you to come in. “We were just about to choose a movie and call for pizza. Why don’t you change into something more comfortable and join us?”. You look at the man as if he did just grow two more heads. Raising his eyebrow at you he adds “maybe choose pizza before you head over, so I can order already”. Shaking off the initial shock, you apologize. Before you can actually try to take a leave, he sternly asks “did you have dinner?”. When you shake your head, he repeats “come on, it’s just pizza and a movie. And maybe we should use the opportunity to discuss a shared custody arrangement for Jack.”. At that your stomach rumbles and when you see the glint in Marshalls eyes, you know this is a battle not worth fighting. And you are hungry. You tell him your pizza order and head over to shower and get changed. You wonder how you are not nervous about this. Since things went south with your ex you could hardly stand to be alone with one man. Let alone spend the evening at his place for dinner and movie.

Back at Marshalls place he offers you a bottle of water and his cosy looking armchair. While himself settling beside Jack on the couch. He suggests watching pirates of the Caribbean and you accept, telling him that you actually named the cat after Jack Sparrow to which he counters “It’s captain. Captain Jack Sparrow.”. The evening proceeds with you watching the movie, laughing and having pizza. You are taken aback to realise he actually ordered some extra tuna for Jack. From time to time, you catch yourself watching Marshall instead of the movie. He seems so much younger when relaxed. And handsome. How did you not realise what a beautiful face hides behind those curls and that beard?

After the movie you grab your snoring cat and thank Marshall for the evening when he pushes something cold into your free hand. You need a moment to realise, that he just handed you a key and give him a puzzled look. “I told you we’ll need a shared custody agreement, considering this little one keeps breaking and entering and claiming this apartment. I often work long hours and when shit hits the fan even spend the nights at the office. You might need it to retrieve the lodger.”. With that he winks - well tries to and fails – and opens the door for you, telling you goodnight.

#henry cavill fanfiction #walter marshall

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anonymousfiction211 · 4 years ago

Text

You always have a choice: 1

Summary: Loki and you are in prison together. An oppertunity presents itself and the two fo you can escape. But things take an unexpected turn.

Word count: 3.585 words

Warnings: Angst, mention of torture and abuse (but not in detail what happened), eventually smut!

A/N: Hope you like it! If you have any ideas, requests or comments, plese let me know.

Click here for chapter 2

‘Can you breathe any louder?’ Loki asked you irritatingly. Like your punishment couldn’t get any worse, you had to share a cell with the God of Mischief and Lies. The only upside was his mother, making sure he had plenty of books, a comfy chair, and a table. She even got him a bed, even tough it was one bed. Even her influence was limited, but you were more than grateful for these extra’s in your shared cell. Of course, Loki wouldn’t let you sleep in the bed. No, you should be happy he was not making you sleep on the floor. He gave you the chair to sleep in instead, bastard.

‘What was that, dear?’ you asked innocently. You knew how annoyed he would get when you called him by a nickname. Loki certainly was a dominant man, and nicknames was not something he accepted. You smirked when he didn’t answer you, he just grumbled at the name you gave him. You grabbed one of his books and began to read it. You were halfway the first chapter when you hear an annoying voice say ‘Who told you that you could grab my things?’

‘Come on, I’m bored out of my mind. It’s not like you need all these books at the same time’ you argued back. Loki, who was sitting on the floor against the wall, got up and strut towards you. He slapped the book out of your hands. The book went flying against the wall, the barrier burned it a bit. It made a hard sound when it hit the floor. ‘Those are MINE’ he growled. He didn’t move from his position, trying to dominate you with his stance. You were still sitting on the floor on the opposite side from where he sat. You weren’t having this. You looked him straight in his eyes ‘The fact that I’m stuck in here is also YOURS’ you said back.

Loki gave you a mean glare but returned to his original position, sitting across the ground on the other side of the cell. You had to admit, it wasn’t entirely his fault that the two of you were stuck in this cell. You had to steal the Tesseract from Odin’s fault, and it took a long time planning the heist too. Everything was in place, until he had to ruin it, of course. You knew he was planning on taking the Tesseract himself, some people close to him told you. But the idiot hadn’t taking into account the new alarm system. So, when he set it off the guards were gathering around you. They saw you holding the Tesseract and Loki standing right behind you. Your explanation to the Allfather didn’t matter, what you did was wrong and both of you needed to be punished.

You could handle the imprisonment, it wasn’t the first time you were. But imprisonment with him was. And you knew he hated it as much as you. You were convinced the only reason Odin put you in a cell together, was to add a sting to Loki’s sentence. You looked around the prison, your cell was the only on with furniture and books, thanks to Frigga. How the other prisoners coped, you did not know. You turned your attention back to Loki. He licked the tip of his index finger and turned a page. You got up and sat in the chair, also known as your bed.

‘Loki, I’m bored’ you whined to him. ‘That is not my problem, tell someone who cares’ he replied. ‘You are the only one here’ you sighed. ‘How lucky are you’ he said sarcastically. ‘What, if you weren’t there I wouldn’t be caught. Unlike you, I had an escape plan´ you argued. Loki just smirked ‘What was your escape plan on Jotunheim?’ he asked. The remark gave you flashbacks to the time you tried to steal the source of powers from the Frost Giants. But Loki interrupted you suddenly, because he was there with Thor and the Warrior Three on a different quest. You hadn’t had an escape plan and spend the next six months in this prison. After that you ran into him in a sleezy bar far away from Asgard, right before he tried to take over Midgard. You should have known he faked his death. Even tough you hated him, you had to admit he didn’t look like himself. He looked awful.

When you heard the Tesseract was on Midgard, you went yourself. When you saw him on Midgard he looked even more terrible. His hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes and was walking with a limp. Something that was weir, considering he healed fast. But you didn’t care, you had a mission the finish. If you didn’t you would pay for it with your life. It was annoying that Loki himself wanted the same thing you were after. You felt Loki trying to invade your mind. ‘Stop it’ you yelled. Hoping that he would, because you didn’t know how to stop this kind of attack. Loki just smirked and returned to his book.

Your favourite guard brought the two of you your lunch. ‘Thank you, Baldar’ you said when he opened a small part of the barrier and slide two meals inside. ‘My pleasure’ Balder replied politely. You saw Loki role his eyes at the interaction, but he didn’t say anything, You grabbed your tray and began to eat the meal, it tasted terrible. ‘How is it?’ Loki asked. ‘What do you think?’’ you replied. Loki got up, grabbed his tray, and tasted it You smiled when you saw his face scrunch. ‘I may have found something more terrible than you’ he said while scrunching his face.

The rest of the midday, you two didn’t speak to each other. You grabbed another book and luckily Loki didn’t smash it from you. The lights were going off and you realised was night-time. You had enough of the chair you were sleeping in and decided to lay down on the bed. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Loki asked, when he saw you laying down in his bed. ‘I’m going to sleep you answered while pulling the blankets closer to your chest. Loki must have been tired because he didn’t argue with you. He just sighed and walked towards the bed.

He laid beside you. Just before you drifted to sleep, he grabbed your throat. ‘What game are you playing?’ he asked. You tried to not be intimidated ‘Look, I needed the Tesseract, I wasn’t planning to use it for my own. But even if I do get out now, I’m in trouble’ you finally snapped. You had no interest in telling him your problems, but knew that lying to him was pointless. Loki didn’t say anything for a long time. He let go of your throat and laid back down facing you. ‘What if I’m in that predicament too?’ he asked you. You didn’t know how to respond to that. Loki could never know that you encountered Thanos and that he expected you to deliver the Tesseract. He didn’t have to know what you went trough, it was too painful to think about. You didn’t know what situation Loki got himself into, but you couldn’t let him best you anymore. Thanos’ patience had run out and you were in serious trouble. ‘Trust me, it’s not the same’ you replied. You closed your eyes and turned around.

It was the middle of the night when you woke from a loud explosion. ‘What is happening?’ you asked. You looked around your cell and saw another cell with its barrier breached. A prisoner was freeing some of the other inmates from different cells. This was your chance! Before you moved you felt one of Loki’s arms retracting from your sides. ‘Well, good luck to you, daring’ he purred. Was he just cuddling you? You decided not to dwell on it. You grumbled at him, you hated when he called you by a nickname, and you knew he knew that. The prison was now absolute in chaos. Guards were running around, and more and more barriers were breached. It didn’t take long before the barrier of your cell was broken. Loki and you exchanged a look before running in the opposite way from each other.

The chaos was your moment of opportunity. You ran towards the vault, there were only two guards guarding the door. You took them both out quickly and entered the vault. You ran to the end of the hall. There you saw it, the emulating light blue cube that you needed to escape whatever death Thanos had in store for you. You picked up the Tesseract when you heard a voice behind you ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you’.

‘You have no idea what you’re talking about. Just leave me alone’ you said.

‘If you bring him that he is just going to send you to get another stone. If you fail him you die, if you don’t and he succeeds that chance of you dying is about 50 percent’ Loki told you.

You just stared at Loki with wide eyes. ‘How do you know that?’ you asked. He took a few steps towards you, standing very close before you. ‘I’ve been doing everything in my power to stop Thanos, you on the other hand have not been making that task easy’ he growled.

‘How do you know about him?’ you yelled.

‘There was a time he thought I was working for him. I know more about him than you might think’ he answered.

‘Then you know I have no choice, I’ll be dead if I don’t do this’

‘I didn’t do it and I’m still alive’ he quipped back.

‘Unlike you I don’t have magic to help me’ you took a step back and turned around. Ready to teleport with the Tesseract out of the vault. Loki grabbed your wrist and spun you back around. ‘You have me’ he said.

‘What?’ you asked absolutely stunned. ‘There’s always a choice, darling. You have three options. One, you give him the stone and probably die serving him the rest of your life. Two, you hide on your own, but he surely finds you and you die anyway. And don’t for a second think it would be quick and painless. We both know Thanos doesn’t do that.’ Tears were starting to form in your eyes, thinking back to all the torture you had been put trough. You noticed the look in Loki’s eyes, you saw something vulnerable in them. ‘What is the third one?’ you asked. ‘You come with me, I’ll keep you safe. And we think of a plan to stop him’ he gave you a genuine smile.

‘You hate me, why would you do that?’ you asked.

‘Just because we’re enemies doesn’t mean I hate you. We both did what needed to be done to survive. But, you have 10 seconds to decide before an army of guards burst through those doors’

For a few seconds you looked at him and thought over your options. Did you really have a choice? you thought. ‘Fine, I’ll go with you’ you said before your time was up. Loki engulfed you in a hug and a green shimmer formed around you. You started to feel dizzy and closed your eyes, leaning on Loki. You heard him chuckle. ‘As much as I enjoy this, you can open your eyes and let go now’ he said. You did as he said and found yourself standing in the middle of a cottage. ‘Where are we?’ you asked. ‘My safehouse somewhere in the woods on Midgard. You can relax, Thanos won’t find you here. I put up shields, nobody knows we’re here’ he answered.

You moved around the cottage. It was slightly bigger than the cell you just escaped from. There was a fire burning in the hearth, with in front of it a very comfy looking couch. There was a big bookcase with a desk and a comfortable lounge chair. The kitchen was small, but all the essentials were there. There was one door which led to the bathroom, with only a shower, sink, and a toilet. When you closed the door and stood in the main room you noticed that there was one large bed. You glared at Loki ‘I’m not sleeping in a chair again’ you said. Loki laughed ‘The bed is big enough for two, I think you’ll be fine’

‘One thing, I need you to hand me the Tesseract. My shiels may hide us, but they can still sense it is here’

You doubted giving him the cube. He saw the doubt in your eyes. ‘I made a promise to keep you safe, all you need to do is trust me’ he added.

‘Would you trust you?’ you asked.

‘Probably not, but I need you to’ he said back.

You took a deep breath and gave him the Tesseract. What choice did you have anyway? A green shimmer started to shine over the cube, and it slowly disappeared in his hands. He gave you a reassuring smile. Despite the fire burning you felt a little cold. ‘I’m going back to bed’ you said. Loki nodded, followed you and laid down next to you. Even tough the bed had room for four people in it, Loki laid close enough for you to feel his warmth. The orange light of the fire was dancing over his face, and you noticed that Loki was quite an attractive man. The only thing you wanted to do that moment was cuddle closer, lay on his chest and fall asleep while he was holding you close to him. You were wondering what sparked these feelings. You never thought about him that way. But then again, this was the first time you felt safe in a very long time. He made you feel safe.

‘See something you like?’ Loki smirked. That was when you realized that you were staring a bit too long at him. You felt yourself starting to blush. You wanted to turn around, but Loki put a hand on your shoulder to stop you. He moved closer to you and you froze, not knowing how to react. He didn’t stop until his lips almost touched yours. He looked in your eyes intently, waiting for you to make a move. You shut your eyes and closed the distance between the two of you. His lips started to move softly against yours. The way his lips felt on yours, you needed more, more of him. You put a hand on his neck and deepened the kiss. Loki eagerly returned your affection by sliding his tongue in your mouth. His hand trailed from your shoulder to your lower back. He pulled you closer to him. You put a hand under his t-shirt, starting to explore his chest and abbs. Loki started to kiss down your neck and you felt him smile against your skin.

He stopped to crawl on top of you and removed his shirt. You couldn’t keep his hands off him. He ducked back down to kiss you. He starting to kiss you deeper and faster. Your hands started to stroke his back and you opened your legs to pull him closer. He moaned into your mouth. It spurred you on to undo the button of his pants. ‘Eager, aren’t you?’ Loki smirked at you. You stayed silence and pulled his pants from his bottom. He helped you by taking them off completely. You tried to pull him down to kiss you, but he grabbed your hands and put them down beside your head. ‘Now, I don’t think this is quite fair’ he said. ‘Well, I always was a few steps ahead of you’ you smirked. Loki let out a low growl. He found the clasp of your dress and unlocked it, immediately pulling the fabric from your body. You laid beneath him, in your lingerie. ‘If I knew you were this underneath your clothes, I would have done this much sooner’ he whispered to you.

He started to kiss you, while his hands were roaming your body. You did the same and couldn’t help but land your hands on his butt. You give him a light squeeze, making Loki moan hard. You really liked this side of him. He undid your bra and hooked his fingers on the side of your thong. ‘Wait’ you said. Loki immediately froze and looked at you questionably. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked. You felt a little bad, seeing the worry in his eyes. ‘Nothing, I just want you to undress first’ you smirked at him. Luckily, your comment put the twinkle back in his eyes. ‘Have you earned that?’ he challenged you. ‘I’ve bested you in most situations, so yeah, I’ve earned it’ you grinned widely at him. He just chuckled ‘I will let you think that, but you still haven’t earned it, darling’ he said. He pulled your thong down and you were now completely naked underneath him.

‘You look absolutely beautiful’ he sighed while kissing your stomach, trailing downwards. You thought he was going for your clit, but instead he just resumes kissing you. His lips went to your hips and your upper thigh, down towards your knees. He trailed back upwards, but still was avoiding the place you needed him the most. ‘Loki’ you panted. ‘Hmm, say that again’ he hummed. His lips trailed further upwards until he reached your neck. ‘Loki, please’ you panted again. You felt him hum again, and he sunk his teeth in your neck. You hissed from the sudden action, he didn’t bite down hard, it was enough for you to feel alive but not hard enough to actually pierce your skin. ‘If you want something, all you got to do is ask’ he purred. ‘You really think you got the upper hand here, do you?’ you asked. Loki didn’t have to answer you, his face said it all. He did.

That’s when you bucked your hips and rolled against his. You felt his erection clearly through his fabric. Your wetness left a small stain on his boxers, only adding friction to your movement. Loki let out a silent moan. He replicates the movement and didn’t stop. The fabric of his boxers between the two of you felt thicker each time he slid it against your core. Loki let out a hard growl ‘Fuck it’ he said. You were a bit shocked, you never heard Loki curse before, he always kept his composure. He leaned back a bit and undid himself of his boxer. He laid back down on top of you, putting more weight on you than before. ‘Normally I would play with you for hours, but right now I need you’ he whispered in your ear. Without any hesitation you opened your legs more and felt Loki enter you. He certainly was bigger than you first anticipated. He filled you up like you never had before. You felt every movement he made, every vein on his cock and it felt like Valhalla itself. Loki, who was thrusting slowly in and almost out of you, picked up the pace. The length of his erection reached all the way to your G-spot. The way he hit that sensitive spot inside of you made squeeze around his cock. He started to moan, grunt and curse under his breath.

He didn’t slow down. The way he fucked you could only be described as animalistic. Like he was denied his release for so long, he couldn’t hold back anymore. You put your hands in his hair and pulled him down for a kiss. He started to kiss you like he was fucking you. Leaving fast and open mouth kisses on your mouth, your cheek, and your neck. His put a leg over his shoulder and you felt his fingertips grab you hips tighter. You knew for sure his kisses and hands would leave you bruised the next morning. But you didn’t mind that people could see you were his, you knew he was doing this for that reason on purpose. ‘I’m close’ Loki panted. He put one of his fingers on your clit, drawing circles on it with much pressure. The only thing you could do was moan his name. You moaned it over and over again. Loki grabbed your chin and kissed you. He broke the kiss to let out a loud grunt. Your orgasm hit you hard and you felt his seed spill inside of you.

Loki pumped in and out of you a few more times, before he collapsed on his back beside you.

‘That was amazing’

he panted. You were out of breath and the only thing you did was hum in agreement. After Loki had cleaned himself up, you went into the bathroom to do the same. When you walked back to the bed you saw Loki almost drifting to sleep. He looked innocent and pure in that moment. You crawled into the bed and he immediately grabbed you and pulled you close to him.

‘I’m never letting you go’

he whispered to you.

‘You better not’

you quipped back. He nuzzled his face further in the crook of your neck. His arms tightened around you. For the first time you felt safe, peaceful, and relaxed. The problems the two of you were facing would come tomorrow, but right now, everything was perfect.

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