#jophiel's dog

[7clubs]

quick orv stuff. i'm gonna pretend my favorite character isn't extremely obvious

(no spoilers past 415, please!)

[ leave a tip / commissions / other sites i’m at ]

[asleepyy]

i've just realized the biggest difference between crowley and jophiel

crowley is nice

jophiel is terrifying

thanks for giving that to us <3

AHAHA You’re very welcome🤭🤭

Crowley is like a wet cat, Jophiel is like a wet dog. This might not make sense but it does to me

[kaledya]

I have two questions for you:

1.)Are there special places for animal souls in heaven and/or hell?

2.)You mentioned that angel blood is able to change animals. The question for me is now, changed Azrael his crows with his blood or was he created with them?

1.most animals go to heaven (dogs big cats small cats birds other animals etc.) an yes they are special place for them.

Azrael's crows are special ones Azrael created them himself. (Azrael created all crows in general)

God charged the archangels to create some of the animals of the world.

Michael - lions - dogs (he wanted to give humanity a friend they could always count on)

Azrael- crows, cats.

Gabriel- pigeons, falcons.

Uriel- She created almost all species of birds, and lizards (She was going to make a dragon but Michael didn't let her)

Rahpael - cows, rabbits, deers

Jophiel - Butterflies, Peacocks

Lucifer - Snake, ducks, Platypus (with Jophiel and Garbriel), he was going to create a unicorn but Michael wouldn't let him.

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Brand New Day

Next

Author's note: Jophiel's debut in Husbandry.

Summary: You encounter a wounded astartes. He looks... different thank you expected. You heard that Dark Angels could look Angelic, but you didn't know they had angel wings.

Warnings: none? Let me know if I need to add something.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @whorety-k

You had heard something rustling around in your barn recently, something large, which was concerning you. You eyed your cattle, none of them seemed particularly spooked and your guardian dogs, herder dogs and your 'recon cats' as you called them. They were excellent mousers and helped guide your guardian dogs to trouble spots that they noticed.

One of your mouser cats had entered the barn recently, but had yet to come out. So, carefully, cautiously you entered the barn to see what had entered the barn that shouldn't be in there. At first all you can see is feathers- you blink in surprise, massive white feathers floating down as you go through your head what kind of bird had such massive white feathers, and come up blank.

Then you spot something dark, almost blood red and see the massive form of an Astartes. You had heard of Astartes, and knew of some of your cousins in the city had an Astartes, and you'd seen videos and read stories about them online, but no one had told you that some of them could have wings. At least, not Loyalist Space Marines.

The Chaos ones could come in an almost insane variety of forms, some more human-looking while others are looking almost eldtritch in nature. You'd head that some of the 'Death Guard' could have insect-like wings. While some of the skull-faced Space Marines, known as Night Lords could have bat wings. But you haven't heard of Space Marines having Bird wings.

You see that his helmet is off and he looks unconscious. He has long blonde hair and light-colored skin. You fluster a little, as he looks so handsome with large white wings spread out haphazardly. The armor that the space marine had looked like it was broken in several places, which had you frowning in concern as you fumble for your phone to try and contact someone who knew someone that could get one of the medically inclined Space Marines over to where you were as you could see blood pooling and clotting around him.

Before you can finish entering the phone number a large hand grabs the phone and pulls it from your grip. You jump back, startled, and wide eyed, some how for someone so big and wounded he'd moved so fast. He chirps and trills at you in the language of the Space Marines frowning at the device and he says something in their language. You guess that he doesn't want to get any one involved as you gently take the device and turn off the phone.

"Okay buddy," You say nervously, but trying to keep a soothing tone.

He tilts his head and looks at you with deep red eyes, a questioning trill in response to your words.

"I won't call anyone," You say, "but you are hurt and need help."

You gesture at his wounds as he looks to where you gesture as he frowns at his wounds. Then looks back at you with another bird-like movement. You nibble on your lower lip trying to figure out how to communicate with a very large, very dangerous sentient being that doesn't know a language that you do, who's wounded and likely upset.

"I can get bandages to help you heal," You offer to the wounded Space Marine in the armor of a Blood Angel.

He chirps and trills at you and as you slowly move, he follows after you carefully, slowly, his feathers and wings which had half mantled like a bird's threat display had slowly de-mantled and he'd slowly closed his wings behind his back as he followed after you are chirping and trilling.

His voice was very melodic, and a calm fell over you. He didn't want you to contact anyone, but you knew you could help him with the bandages and other first aid equipment that was good to have on hand, just in case.

So, you carefully get out your medical supplies and slowly turn to the Blood Angel Space marine and nervously eye the large, you thought that he was a bit larger than normal for a Blood Angel, but you have only seen videos and pictures of Space Marines, so he could be normal size for a Space Marine.

"I know that you can't really understand me, and I can't really understand you," You say carefully, "But I want to help you and part of that is you need to remove your armor so that I can help patch you up since you don't want me to call for help."

You try to project confidence, calm and an aura of I-want-to-help-you. Which has the Blood Angel chirping and trilling down at you tilting his head from side to side before slowly removing the parts of his armor that reveals the nasty wounds on his chest and sides. You slowly approach, narrating, rambling almost, what it is you are doing and the next step. Half remembering your first aid classes.

Although, he does seem to be healing on his own. The rumors about Space Marines having a crazy fast healing factor is something that you now know is fact and truth, instead of just the ramblings of people on the internet, which should be taken with a heaping of salt and knowing that it's likely inaccurate to some degree.

He had quietly watched you only letting out the occasional hiss of pain, mostly keeping still and silent as he watches you intensely. Such vivid red eyes and long golden locks. He's still very handsome, if somewhat intimidating. You immediately scold yourself for getting distracted by his musculature.

You scold yourself for getting distracted by how handsome he looks; how warm he feels underneath your fingers as you carefully tend to his wounds. He is trilling at you again, voice softer as he gently grabs one of your hands with his after you finish tending his wounds. He croons at you, likely thank you for the help.

"You are welcome," You say slightly flustered.

He trills at you again, and as you go about your day, he follows you around, occasionally singing at you in Space Marine Language. He occasionally helps you out, carefully grabbing and lifting heavy things, even though it makes you worry and fuss that he'll open up his injuries as he sing-talks to you some more.

[twost3ps]

Wait I just noticed on your Michael, Lucifer, and Gabriel post about pre-Eden

Gabriel also has hooves? Lucifer and Gabriel both have hooves while Michael has paws. It’s such a cute detail! I think it’s so adorable!!

Ooo thank you!!!

I'm actually stupid tho cuz I meant to put bird feet on the little guy

All my archangels have feet with their animal rep

Lucy has goat feet

Michael has lion feet

And Gabe is supposed to have eagle feet

I just didn't realize it after getting caught up lol

For some funnzies here are the animals the other archangels/angels represent

Raphael- dog

Uriel- bull

Jophiel- deer(?) Or dove

Azrael- Bat or butterfly

[ask-the-archs]

¡¡NOT CANON TO HAZBIN HOTEL, this is for fun interactions because I like this idea!!

Rules:

Don’t be weird

Ask before touching mod or characters (there are exceptions, but this is the main rule)

No explicit NSFW (but be advised of heavy topics here at times)

Anyone is welcome to interact, but Mod gets to make things silly

If you cross any of these and/or make me uncomfortable (even if it’s for ‘no reason’) I get to choose not to interact with you in the future

“Gabriel Speaking, they/them…”

Michelle Speaking, she/they

•Noah Speaking, Any•

#Bea speaking, they/them unless otherwise specified, please!#

|Ariel… writing. It/its.|

/Barachiel speaking, ve/vir/vis/virself./

≈Jophiel here, I don’t care what pronouns are used!≈

¡Sariel speaking, anything but he/she.¡ ( @reluctantly-angel-sariel )

(Mod speaking, they/them or any neopronouns)

[Sign Language, with colour signifier]

‘Thoughts, with colour and symbol if more than one person in a scene’

Quick temp reference for Michelle: (her design is wip)

Noah (left) and Gabriel (right):

Barachiel:

Ariel:

Jophiel:

Loki (Gabriel’s service dog):

Appearance

Why he’s probably gonna be a character used for the foreseeable future

Days since this blog has been post-limited: 0

Post Limit blog: @aask-the-archs

Main account is @nerdyquestier

[princes-and-problems-au]

obligatory how huggable are they

Okay! A little late, but I hope that can be forgiven! Alright, needlessly complicated answers, which we are doing in chronological order!

Michael: it matters when in the timeline he is. If you catch him pre-retirement, then his pricklier than a cacti. Only chance you’ll have is if you’re someone close, ie his siblings or Sera. Post-retirement, he’s slightly more welcoming, but due to lack of experience he’ll probably give you an awkward pat on the back if you try lol.

Gabriel: Will give you a full bear hug no matter the time, though they probably won’t be able to focus on one thing before he jumps to another.

Raphael: Literally one of the best huggers. He’s very adept at comforting others, since he needs to do that a lot in his line of work. His hugs are like being held by comfy, heavy clouds.

Uriel: You’d think they’d have no clue how to hug, but she’s Jophiel’s twin and gets forced to endure hugs on the daily. Theoretically is a great hugger, and in practice they’re actually really good. But she refuses to hug you unless you’re their sibling or particularly pathetic looking lol.

Jophiel: 10/10 hugs, love language is physical, would probably hug you if you asked, then take you out shopping, or give you a make over, or treat you in general. Better than the rest of their siblings anyways.

Ariel: an average hugger? She doesn’t really show her love via physical affection, but isn’t as bad as the rest of her siblings. Sort of like hugging a dog, or cat. The energy and love is there, just sort of awkward.

Haniel: he’s a more protector than hugger, she tries her best but would rather leave the comforting to the others while he fights.

Azrael: if you aren’t someone close to them, they probably won’t hug you, mainly because physical contact makes their skin crawl. They’ll try to avoid making you feel bad about it, and will probably endure it if they care about you, but it’ll be really uncomfortable for everyone involved.

so uhh, if you were a stranger and I had to put them in order from best to worse it’d be:

Jophiel, Raphael, Gabriel, Ariel, Uriel, Michael, Haniel, Azrael

[sxrrandomfanfics]

AITA Headers For My Fan Characters (Psychonauts)

WIBTA if I steal the kill my partner wants to accomplish? (Sadie Bell)

AITA for making rum cakes designed to get people drunk? (Jacques Baker)

AITA for rejecting help when when my powers bother people? (Naomi Nell)

WIBTA if I let my bosses know I don't feel comfortable around an old woman? (Hazel Nuss)

WIBTA if I don't let my mom back into my life? (Barrie)

AITA for confiscating a ten year old computer? (Zeke Ascaris)

AITA for wanting to be a single kid and saying that in front of my new sister? ("Kelp")

AITA for not actually stealing cause I was too busy with my rival? (Stella Wren)

AITA for stealing a girl's dog and rat? (Alpha)

AITA for changing the diety we worship? (Jophiel)

AITA for rejecting a gift of new tools? (Daizy)

[fallen--starlight]

୨ ♡ ୧

asks: open (●'◡'●) ★

site: https://remiel.straw.page/

last updated: 11/23/24

YO :D

call me whatever u'd like lolol but eden / atlas / jade is what i primarily go by

19 • nonbinary • aroace spec • audhd + bpd • any pronouns • latine • otherkin • fictionkin

INTERESTS & LIKES {strong interest, current hyperfix}

my ocs • mystic messenger • chonny's charming chaos compendium • good omens • hazbin hotel • helluva boss • labyrinth • the phantom of the opera • the band ghost • the amazing digital circus • angelology • demonology • music • writing • sky: children of the light • stardew valley • cult of the lamb • psychology • neon genesis evangelion • land of the lustrous • welcome home • vampires • strawberries • bendy & the ink machine • alice in wonderland • beetlejuice • the world of mr. plant • the little prince • howl's moving castle • bungo stray dogs (currently watching) • black butler (now reading the manga) • obey me! (currently playing) 

MUSIC !!!!

the band ghost • miracle musical • malice mizer • chonny jash • tally hall • will wood • lemon demon • jack stauber • yaelokre • waitress • aurelio voltaire • queen • abba • david bowie • melanie martinez • marina • dead or alive • the living tombstone • kishi bashi • train • iamx

KIN LIST !!! {colored = kin shift}

jade (oc) • soul (chonny's charming chaos compendium) • crowley (good omens) • alastor (hazbin hotel) • jophiel (oopsie!omens) • alice kingsleigh (alice in wonderland + through the looking glass) • christine daaé (the phantom of the opera) • lucifer morningstar (hazbin hotel) • charlie morningstar (hazbin hotel) • emily (hazbin hotel) • fizzarolli (helluva boss) • pomni (the amazing digital circus) • spinel (steven universe) • alice angel (bendy & the ink machine) • argos (the world of mr. plant) • michael distortion (the magnus archives) • halo (sky: children of the light, non-canon) • aster (the little prince 2010, non-canon) • yuki cross (vampire knight) • lydia deetz (beetlejuice) • sophie hatter (howl's moving castle) • forgetful storyteller (sky: children of the light) • mc (mystic messenger)

SOURCEMATES R WELCOME !! send asks !! dms !! lets have a chitchat <3

no actual dni, i block liberally if needed HOWEVER please bear in mind im 19 & also i will make it known im anti endo & anti transids/radqueers. if i break ur dni its likely because i dont check everyone's profiles before liking random posts, feel free to give me the ol' block-a-roonie if needed

side blogs:

@noncanon-fictionkin - ran by me & the wonderful @specter-soltare @thestarseclectic - kin blog >:))

[ourplegaymer101]

In honor of pride month i once again present incorrect quotes from my gay ass couple (the drawings will come later I PROMISE)

---

Phanuel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Azrael: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Phanuel: I said within reason, Azrael. How about I murder that guy?

Azrael: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Phanuel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

---

Lucifer: So you like cats?

Raziel: Yeah.

Lucifer: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

---

Lucille: That was so hot, Jophiel.

Jophiel: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Lucille: I'm so in love with you.

---

Chrono: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Thanatos: Wow. They sound stupid.

Chrono: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Thanatos: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Chrono: I guess you’re right. Hey Thanatos, I love you.

Thanatos: See! Just say that!

Chrono: Holy fucking shit.

Thanatos: If that flies over their head then, sorry Chrono, but they're too dumb for you.

Chrono: Thanatos.

---

Lilianna: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Valerie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Lilianna: ...

Lilianna: You mean ring bearER, right?

Valerie: ...

Lilianna: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

---

Azalea: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Crow: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

---

Vendetta: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Eunice: Hi.

Vendetta: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

---

Raphael: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Michael: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Raphael: But you’re always acting stupid?

Michael: ...

Michael: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

-----[Some announcements]-----

I swear I will draw or write some gay stuff but for this week I will die for a bit alr

[echomusings]

tag dump 4/?

[asleepyy]

AWHHH HYAY i’m so excited abt the new update I LOVE YOUR AZAZEL hes amazing,,, and jophiel also. analog horror -> wet dog like you said. AGH it’s so good tysm for updating again it was amazing. LOVE THE PARALLELS TO GOMENS SCENES AHHHDHG

AWH OF COURSE!! You’re very welcome! Glad to hear you’re enjoying it so much, it’s my biggest driving force!!

I’ll use this ask to also give you guys a heads up that a physical edition of oopsie Omens is currently in the works, but won’t be completed until all of oopsie s1 is wrapped up!! It’ll be pretty big, and I’m sorry to say that it probably won’t be cheap because of that, so it’ll be a pretty limited run!!

[istherewifiinhell]

reading progress: chapter 279

reading highlights: This is the story of a reader. At the same time it is the story of Dokja...

268 bihyung existential crisis

269 4th wall shaking about yjh in danger

calling on the asmodeus favour, literally a deal with a devil

yjh sponser "this guy always did the same thing. he watched yjh suffering from death. he placed the soul of a hopelessly broken man back into the world line of the past"

yjh thoughts "I can't die" "I'll never die here"

are they, you know, life and death companions [there is a pictogram of a hand bent at the wrist]

"I couldn't help laughing. Now we really would live together or die together"

HMO savig his daughter aww

LHS first to stand up "I was waiting" -> do i even need to say it

the old constellations coming back... crying... even god of a small planet

(cheok Jungyeong carrying kdj) great section for men being carried by other men

one day you will get to whip ass SWK i know you will...

uriel lol

sword girls!!! hell yeah! (ljh & jwh)

272 "The transparent shape of Uriel appeared behing Jung Heewon" -> sick. that fucking jjba shit

uriel has a fucking potty mouth

kdj listening to yjh thoughts cause he cant speak (🥺)

"Can't guarantee anything, maybe they all will die" "Let's go"

Giant story of 73 realm starts talking

273 beeg train..

omg its the subway [im riding in front seat of train car.....]

LHS can open the door cause he was the one who did it the first time

kyrgios and Sword saint!!! (kdj visions blurs -> you crying bro?)

274 "I lived in that world alone, I entered the minds of countless characters and became different beings again and again... Therefore I was a regessor who had never regressed... A returnee who never returned... Maybe I was a reincarnator"

HSY -> kdj shadow.

Yjh rushing to grab falling kdj [when they are all falling from the sky]

abyssal black flame dragon... damn

↳275 horror movie shit [taking out constellations in the cover of dark one by one]

kill with a borrowed knife -> about hankim... mwah

sword master held osu in her mouth -> oh like pupby

278 "Good... It was a word used by Yoo Sangah"

LHS demanding to be let out from med ward cause hes all better now

lgy... he so baby... baby boy. [finally getting to see kdj hugging him and crying]

HSY note "Anyway, that's it... Well goodbye, idiot. See you when you come back to earth"

Krygios and sword saint rivals over their disciples

persphone dances with ysa (as ysa??)

Jhw whistles "Ysa is cool"

277 ◼◼ story of the end -> different word for everyone

hsy nightmare. heart complicated at seeing kdj. sees him stabbed. Woof...

hsy and lsk interation... i am thinking about the milfhunter hsy post

kdj ◼◼ 'the final chapter'

ysa "you looked happy after [the scenarios started]" yes girl interrogate him

278 oh shit angel time

Gabriel calls uriel ◼ (i wanna know which insult so bad)

LHS LGY & SYS all get gifts from kdj and are so normal about it (they are being goofballs)

kdj looks tired as hell

↳ gives jhw a suit -> it will be more comfortable (ill bet lol)

jhw things ysa/kdj is a thing (Ljh thinks hes gay)

hmo prosthetic leg -> wow i thought they might just hand wave that. good for him

Jhw "when the epilogue comes kdj won't be alone"

red cosmos and a lily...

kdj ◼◼ isn't final chapter? was he just saying shit?

279 uriels door says URIEL⭐

uriels usb of handcrafted artisanal AMVs

red cosmos jophiel lily gabriel?

JHW oh yeah what the fuck is she supposed to do...

'LHS sitting like a big dull dog. LGY and SYS like baby cats. All watching KDJ' literally perfect fantastic love that.

and also. i wrote down everything the giant story "said"

The story stated on a train. There was a soldier who wanted to be righteous. There was the strongest loneliest man in the world. There was also a woman who hid herself for others. The sword demon wounded after losing a relationship was met. A child born in the gap between past and future wept. There was the strongest small person in the world. The world of the strongest giant was saved. Finally there was a man who knew the ending of all these worlds. This is the story of a reader. At the same time it is the story of Dokja. Only this story... The woman who woke up from a tigers crouch and laughed while holding a sword to destroy evil. The boy who lost his mother and held the insect in his hand cried. The man who built the castle roared for the family that wouldn't come back. The woman who built up the truth by lying gladly became his shadow.

rotating: very clear on this one. fucking finally. I'm thinking about how kdj did all that to keep yjh alive. how he convinced him, and the sponsor, not to regress, how he tried to shove him healing items he couldn't swallow. He had to use ORV to hear yjh thoughts, cause he was too injured to speak. Grinding a pill into a paste so he could swallow it. I'm thinking about all that.

also. holy fucking mana from the gods. tho thats not a good phrase to use in this story. finally. finally. hsy... there she is. the loaded gun, the last resort. The one who works in parallel but behind the scene. The borrowed knife. The person having nightmares seeing KDJ, seeing him get stabbed. Like how she stabbed him. Hello Han Sooyoung, there you are, there's your motivation, there's your internal self.

[inhuman-obey-me]

The Agony & The Ecstasy

Can also be read on AO3 here

Word Count: 5.2k

Description: #HappyBirthdayAsmodeus 2021!! Before he was the Avatar of Lust, he was the Jewel of the Heavens. A journey from the angel Asmo used to be, to the demon he's become.

[cw: sexual mentions]

The Agony

He sat before the mirror of his bedroom, sketching his lean cheeks with their high bone ridges, his soft lips, the gentle curls of his champagne-toned hair, the light in his orange-yellow eyes.

The Jewel of the Heavens, they called him. The most beautiful of the angels. So lovely that even Jophiel, the patron angel of artists, had asked if she could have a painting to keep of him. And so, here he was, trying to capture his image on canvas for the archangel.

Asmodeus was proud of how everyone admired him, but truthfully he didn't think it was anything so special. Rather, he was more focused on how lovely everyone else around him was. He wouldn't say that he wasn't beautiful, but so was anyone, in one way or another. There was so much to admire in everyone that his heart ached every day. He longed to help them see themselves the way he saw them.

The lilting notes of a bird's song through the open window broke him out of his thoughts, and he set his sketch down for the moment to greet it.

"Well hello, bluebird dear," he greeted it with a smile, holding his hand out. "How are you today?" The bird trilled with delight in response, rubbing its head against his fingers, and he laughed, petting the creature. "Your singing is so lovely, my dear. What a beautiful day to hear your song."

"Oi, Asmo, good, you're here!" he heard his brother call from below the window. "Lilith and the twins snuck off down to the human world again, could ya go get them? Geez, those troublemakers...I've gotta help Lucifer with somethin' so I need you to go, okay?"

"Whaaaat, they went and they didn't invite me?" he pouted. "I can't believe them!"

"Hey, hey, that's not the point," Mammon groaned, rolling his eyes at his younger sibling. "Gabriel is looking for Beel and Belphie, and you know he'll flip if he finds out they went down to the human realm without permission."

"Okay, okay, I got it. I'll get them, don't worry! Walk with me to the portal?"

"Agh, I'm busy you know," Mammon groaned, though he didn't seem all that upset. "But fine, I get it, ya wanna spend some time with your big older brother! Leave it to Mammon!"

"You tell yourself that," Asmo giggled. He hopped down from the window, fluttering down gracefully on the lightness of his robes. "So where in the human world do you think they went this time?"

"Well, you know, Belphie always wants to go to that circus he likes. He mighta dragged the other two along with him."

"Ooooh, right, the circus! The acrobats are so graceful, with the way they glide around in the air. They don't even have wings, but they figured out a way to look like they're flying! Humans really are interesting, aren't they?"

"You think so? I think it's kinda scary, man," Mammon shuddered.

"Well just because you might trip over yourself even on the ground doesn't mean everyone's that clumsy!" Asmo teased.

"Oi! Take that back! I can walk just fine, thank you!"

"Heehee!"

"Anyway, if they're not at the circus, maybe one of those restaurants? Beel's been eating a lot lately, maybe he wanted to try some human realm food."

"Ah, yeah! The fancy restaurants down there make such pretty dishes! The chefs are such artists," Asmo said admiringly, eyes glittering. "I'd like to try one too..."

"Hey, don't forget you're goin' there to get the twins to come back! Don't get distracted by running off down there yourself!"

"But I never get to go down to see the human realm! And the three of them like it so much, you know, it'd be nice to see how pretty everything is for myself," Asmo smiled innocently.

The two of them stopped as they reached their destination.

"Oi, Asmo, I'm serious. You better not go off hitting on everyone you see again," Mammon warned.

"Hey! I'm not hitting on them, I just think everyone is beautiful, and they should know it," Asmo protested. "You're just jealous because they like me more than you. But if you saw the good in everyone you met like me, they'd love you too! You should try it sometime!"

"Ugh, Asmo...don't be gross. And seriously, come right back once you find them. Gabriel's gonna have my hide too if they don't report to him soon, after he asked me to send them over."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll be back before you know it!"

The younger brother waved breezily as he stepped through the portal.

--

When the light of the portal faded from his vision, Asmodeus found himself in a quiet, hidden spot of a sunny park. Birds chirped, dogs were playing, and he could hear the screaming laughter of children from farther away. In the distance, he could see a news board by the nearby street, which seemed as good a place as any to start checking for information about the circus.

Before he could make it over there, though, a young woman stopped him. "Ahh, excuse me! I just, um, y-you're really handsome, and um...I-I just wanted to say hello. Are you visiting our town? Would you like to spend some time together....maybe come with me to the bakery down the street?! I want to get to know you," she blurted out.

He laughed with delight. "Oooh, aren't you adorable! Forget me, you're so pretty yourself! Your skin is so radiant, and your eyes are so sweet," he cooed. She blushed bright red at the compliments immediately. "Oh! But...I don't have time to go to a bakery right now, I'm looking for my little siblings. Unless you've seen a pair of boys with a girl around there? A tall guy with orange hair, and a sleepy black-haired boy?"

"I, um..." she paused, mind racing on how to keep him interested. "You know, I-I might have seen them. Or maybe, um...maybe the baker has! P-people are going in there all the time, you know, s-so maybe he might have seen them...? I'm sure he'll be able to help!"

It was fairly obvious that she was lying, but Asmo couldn't help but be charmed by her shy attempts at staying with him. His heart tugged him to go along with it anyway, just as it tugged at anyone he came across, especially those who were so drawn in by him too. He couldn't help it, even if it got him into trouble at times. So he agreed.

"Hmm, is that so? Okay! Let's go then."

She led him along the road to the bakery, an extravagant little spot for the size of the shop, where the man at the counter unhelpfully told them that he'd seen a lot of boys around and couldn't possibly remember them all. "Maybe if you buy some bread, I might remember better. I recommend some of these tarts...and you'd better take this big loaf right here too, to be sure I don't forget again," he said with a vicious grin. "We charge by the ounce, of course."

The angel gave him a bright smile back. "Oooh, they do look delicious! You must be so talented to create such beautiful things, sir! Oh, but...I don't have any money on me..."

This clearly irked the man, though something about Asmo's cheerful expression at least stopped him from throwing the pair straight out of the shop, as he usually might with people like this, who came in with no money. He eyed the golden bangle on his visitor's wrist. "Give me that then," he demanded, pointing. "I'll give it to my daughter. She'll like it."

Against his better judgment, the angel obliged. After all, it was just a part of the human world disguise he wore - he could just make another one later. And the baker was going to give it to his daughter, which was certainly kind. Or at least, he thought that was better than just selling it, like most people would. How lovely for a father to want to give his daughter nice presents. "Here, you can have this then. So, about my brothers...?"

The human greedily snatched the bangle from his palm. "Sure, they came in, just about an hour ago probably. The orange-haired one bought more bread than I thought I would sell all day. The girl, she was talking about wanting to visit someone in town. She didn't mention where, but it sounded like it was near the square. And the boys, they wanted to go to the circus that's visiting. They're over at the edge of town."

Satisfied with this new information but not exactly pleased about what the exchange had cost him, he thanked the baker and excused himself from both humans.

Frustrating as it was, this was how it always went. Asmodeus felt himself filled to the brim overflowing with love for everyone, painfully so. And no matter how they lied, or tried to trick him, or took advantage of him, he still loved them so much. It wasn't that he was naive, or that he didn't notice, but just that he always still saw the good parts of them too.

At least he knew where to head from here, though. It sounded like Lilith had probably split off from the twins, but since Mammon had only asked him to send Beel and Belphie back, he'd worry about her later. First, the circus.

Luckily, by this point, Belphegor had been caught dragging his twin to such shows often enough that Asmo could pretty easily predict what area of the audience he'd find them in. He made his way into the tent and quickly located the pair. "You two!" he hissed quietly from the row behind them. "You know you shouldn't be running off to the human world while everyone is still working! Mammon said Gabriel was looking for you. You'd better get back, right now!"

The twins looked at him guiltily, two sets of apologetic eyes. "Sorry, it's my fault...Lilith said she wanted to visit someone, and you know Lucifer always scolds her not to go down alone. So I said we should come too," Beelzebub explained quickly.

"It's my fault too, Beel," Belphie added. "After she met up with them, I wanted to come see the circus again...sorry."

"Ahhh, okay, okay! I can't be mad at such cute younger brothers! Just hurry up and go!" Asmo said, waving away their apologies. "I'll find Lilith to make sure she comes back okay too."

Relieved at his easy forgiveness, the two of them slipped out quietly to head back.

The elder brother sat there a while longer. He'd never actually been to a circus himself before, and he was curious. It was entrancing - contortionists twisting their bodies in fascinating ways, trapeze artists flying gracefully across the air, the balance of the tightrope walkers and the authority of the ringmaster. Though he didn't know them, his heart ached with admiration at the performers below. It was easy to see why their youngest brother loved coming to these so much.

Before he knew it, he had stayed to the end of the show, and the audience was filtering out around him. But he didn't want to leave just yet, and longed for more. Without really thinking, he wandered out to the back of the tent, to the performer's entrance.

"Oh? A fan?"

He blushed a little as realized his mistake, meeting the eyes of the acrobat who had addressed him. "Hi there! I guess you could call me a fan, yes? Your performances out there were just sooo beautiful!"

An amused smile crossed her face. "Well aren't you a cutie. What's your name, hon?"

"I'm Asmodeus!" he replied cheerily. "But my brothers call me Asmo."

"Asmo, eh? Heh. Well, thanks for the compliments, Asmo," she said, leaning in to play with a strand of his hair. "I'm Naamah. Glad you enjoyed the show."

From this close, he could see every detail of how stunning the woman was. Her makeup was thick, as it needed to be for the stage, but it suited her somehow, like her face had always been meant to wear it this way. A tight bun of dark hair sat atop her head, ringed by a blue and red crown of feathers that matched the bright colors of a costume that showed off every curve of her slender, athletic body.

"In fact, Asmo, my dear fan," she continued, "today's your lucky day. I don't feel like sticking around for another of the top hat's fucking lectures about how we need to do better tomorrow. So what do you say we go find ourselves a party, love?"

He thought guiltily back to Lilith, who he had promised to find and escort home. But on the other hand, she had come to see someone, and he didn't really know when she'd be done meeting with this person, or where they were at this point. And he'd never actually been to a party before...

--

"Have another drink, Asmo, I insist," Naamah laughed tipsily, passing him another cup of wine. "You act like you've never let loose before!"

Truthfully, he sort of hadn't, and for his part, Asmodeus was having a magnificent time. A quaint little band of musicians played upbeat, joyful music from the edge of the courtyard, which was packed with merry folks in all sorts of costumes. His new friend had mentioned on their way here that it was a costume party, and the costumes truly did not disappoint - people here were dressed up as angels, demons, all kinds of animals, and even as things he'd never heard of before. Even after changing partially back into his angel form to let his wings free, he didn't feel like he stood out any more than anyone else.

And the dancing! The overflowing love he felt had an outlet for once, here where he could feed the energy back through his movements, passing from partner to partner without anyone to scold him for being too loose with his love. He couldn't help but think that the Celestial Realm felt so stuffy by comparison - all music back home being generally restricted to choirs to their father, and none of the raucous laughter and chatter filling the air the way the humans were doing here. The seraphs were strict on the lower angels, insisting on upright perfection at all times.

"This is so much fun," he said as he clinked his new cup against Naamah's with a laugh, giggling even harder when she then leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Pass it on," she dared in a whisper to his ear.

Being the Jewel of the Heavens, always filled with love as he was, it didn't take long for him to find another person to pass the kiss on to. He got up and lightly pecked a man by the sidelines on the cheek. "Hi there, darling. Would you like to dance?" he asked sweetly.

The man reddened slightly at the kiss but agreed quickly to a song, and Asmo found himself soon in another round of dancing, whirling between partners until he had probably danced with each person at least three times. Mid-step as he was about to pass to Naamah again, he noticed a figure moving quickly by from across the road.

A very familiar figure.

"Ack, I'm sorry - I've got to go," he said quickly, leaving his companion very confused as he dashed off from her and the rest of the party.

"Lilith!" he called out, chasing after her in the now-fallen night.

His sister startled at the sound of his voice. "Asmo? What are you doing here in the human realm?"

"You know, really I should be the one asking you that, sis!" he responded, patting her on the head as he caught up. "Mammon sent me here to find you and the twins. Although I, hehe, might have gotten a bit distracted on my way to find you after I sent the twins back. Okay, your turn, what were you doing here?"

She looked away shyly. "I was just, um...meeting someone."

"Ooooh? Tell your big brother more," he teased.

"Well, um...a-actually, Asmo, you love everyone, right? But how do you know you're in love with them?"

That certainly caught him off-guard.

"Hmmm? I never really thought about it," he mused. "I guess it feels kind of warm and fuzzy, right? Or...sometimes it's stronger. Like fire! Like your whole body is in flames, and you're going to burst apart in one biiiig explosion!" Teasingly, he grabbed her by the shoulders and mimicked some explosion sounds. "Why, my dear sister, have you fallen in love with somebody? Were you down here to ask the humans for loooove advice? Who is it, hon? Uriel? Israfil?? Camael?? Or - don't tell me it's Michael?!"

"N-no!" she said, eyes wide. "Ahh, no! No, it's not like that! And don't tell Lucifer or Mammon that I asked about this either!"

Her older brother just giggled mischievously in reply. "Well, let's just get back," he answered, placing his hand on the tree by where he'd landed earlier to open the portal back up.

When they stepped through, their two eldest brothers were waiting for them with scowls.

Lucifer spoke first. "Where have you two been, exactly?"

"Eep! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stay out so late!!" Lilith squeaked, quickly hiding behind her other brother. "I just, um--I just wanted to go meet with someone. And I lost track of time."

"What about you? Don't tell me ya got distracted hitting on people again," Mammon said, turning his attention to the other just-returned angel. "I've been havin' to cover for ya all day! Raphael is not happy."

"Hey, you're the one who sent me down there to find the twins!" Asmo argued back.

"Yeah, and they came back ages ago! So where have you been!"

"Well, one of the acrobats from Belphie's circus invited me to a party, so I--"

"A party?" Lucifer growled. "You were out late for a human party?"

"I mean...! I didn't know where to find Lilith or when she'd be done meeting her person, so I just thought I'd have some fun while I was down there," Asmo pouted.

"You still shouldn't be going to human world parties, Asmo," the eldest lectured, refocusing his gaze on their sister. "And as for you, about that person you went to meet...why are you meeting with a human?"

She just looked away.

Lucifer sighed. "Never mind, we'll talk later, Lilith. Just go back to your rooms for now, it's late and the next patrols will be by soon. You're lucky Mammon was the one on duty tonight and reported it straight to me so the other seraphs don't know yet."

With relief, the two of them scurried away back to their respective living quarters.

Back in his room, Asmodeus looked over the sketch of himself he'd been working on earlier that day. After the excitement of the day and the party, it looked so bland now that he looked at it again. It was perfectly in line with the classic portrait style of paintings all over the Celestial Realm, but it felt so flat. He saw the good in everyone, right?

And the best thing about him wasn't his face, or his hair, or the way the sunlight fell perfectly across his face at noon. No, the good thing about him was how he loved everyone, wasn it? The love that filled him to bursting at every moment, the love that felt like heavenly fire coursing through his heart every time he looked at someone. That was what made him the universally admired angel that everybody loved back. This painting needed to show that overflowing love too, didn't it?

He tore the canvas off, stretching a fresh one across the frame to start again.

&

When Lucifer came to the brothers to say he was going to rebel against their father, Asmodeus didn't hesitate. All of them had heard about what Lilith had done, and how she was set to be punished for it with obliteration. Utter destruction, wiping her from existence. And for what? For her love?

Well, Asmo was intimately familiar with getting in trouble over love. He'd certainly felt the sharp end of Raphael's spear enough times to know that love was not especially prized or respected in the Celestial Realm. Their father had created him with this overwhelming burning of love towards all, yet that same father commanded the angels without regard for love. It was his rules that forbade Asmo from having outlets to express his love, and it was those same rules that would now destroy his sister.

Lucifer had already tried arguing for mercy, to no avail. It didn't matter if it was out of love; all the worse, in fact, because Lilith wasn't supposed to have gone down to the human realm in the first place, let alone fallen in love with one of them. Their father didn't care about love. So, Lucifer would fight.

And so would Asmodeus.

The Ecstasy

When he came to, the first thing Asmo felt was weightlessness.

It wasn't just his clothes, which had transformed from a billowing mass of white robes to a slender, form-fitting black tank top and pants. Nor was it how his large, elegant wings were now turning to four smaller, curled bat-like ones.

No, it was the lack of burning fire in his chest. What normally felt tightly contained within him was looser, freer, like something had unlocked inside of him, allowing it to spill out.

It was such a jarring, unfamiliar feeling that he gasped out for air.

"Asmo!! Beel, Belphie! Levi! Are you all okay?!" Mammon called out at the sound, rushing over. He had landed not too far away, and seemed to have undergone his own transformation, his usual softly draping outfit now full of sharp, cutting lines instead. In fact, it looked like everyone had either changed or was mid-transformation.

"Where's Lilith?" Beelzebub asked immediately, sounding panicked. "She got hit by an arrow earlier and fell during the battle, is she here?! Is she okay?!"

Belphie sat up and looked around before shaking his head. "I don't think she's here," he said softly. "What happened?"

"Mmm, well judging by how we all look, I guess we're...demons now?" Asmo chimed in.

"Aaagh, dammit! I saw Lucifer fly down all of a sudden while we were fightin', but I don't see him here either. He's gotta be around here somewhere though," Mammon said. "C'mon, get up, guys. Levi, you okay over there?"

A pitiful mumble of affirmation came from the cerulean-haired lump. Levi had awoken but, it seemed, simply opted to stay laying on the ground, as if laying there would erase away everything that had just happened.

After a quick check over each of them, Mammon seemed satisfied that there were no major injuries, at least. Aside from, obviously, them all having lost their angel forms, and seemingly having transformed into demons here. Which meant...

"Welcome to the Devildom." A demon in a crisp black and red uniform walked up to them with a polite smile. "Lord Diavolo has requested for all of Lucifer's brothers to come to the RAD student council room at once. Of course, Lucifer himself is there as well."

Ignoring the confused chatter of the brothers, he led them to a grand building, through beautifully sculpted hallways, and into a large courtroom-like chamber.

A large, dark-skinned demon in what looked to be a red school uniform was seated at the judge's seat, and beside him...Lucifer, in a similar uniform as the man who had led them here, as well as a scary-looking blond individual they didn't recognize.

Five piles of cleanly folded uniforms sat on a table in the center of the room.

In what felt like a whirlwind of explanation, the demon at the center introduced himself as Lord Diavolo, confirmed that they were indeed demons now, and explained that, as the demon prince and current ruler of the Devildom, they were now part of his domain. This was RAD, a school for demons, and the demon who had led them here was Barbatos, his personal butler. His father, who had passed the reigns of power but still commanded more respect among the nobles, would help work out the details of their new positions here in the Devildom, but he wanted to welcome them as members of the RAD student council.

It was a lot, but most importantly, they would stay together down here. They would live together, with Lucifer working out the details of their new home, and they would attend this school. Apart from this, they would be eventually assigned other responsibilities, but they would be otherwise free to enjoy the Devildom as they pleased.

As they pleased. Asmodeus wasn't sure what this all meant for them, but he liked the sound of that phrase.

--

Asmo sighed happily, gazing at himself in his vanity mirror. He looked perfect. His outfit was perfect, with pearly flower earrings perfectly matching the flowery sleeves of his shirt.

After they fell, Mammon had worried and fussed over everyone - not that he would ever admit it outright. Still, the worry had been unmistakable, checking in on each brother every day to make sure they were adjusting okay. But for Asmodeus, things were more than okay. It was like a blindfold had been removed from his eyes.

When he looked at himself now, he understood why everyone had always fawned over his looks - he was gorgeous! How had he never seen it before? He was dazzlingly beautiful. No wonder they had called him the Jewel of the Heavens! And though he was no longer part of, well, heaven, he was still the most stunning being to exist, in all the three realms.

That being the case, it was only right to share himself with everyone, right? Everyone had always wanted to gaze upon him, and at last, with the chains of celestial modesty shed from him, he understood that it was his responsibility to share this gift of his beauty with all.

"I'm heading out!" he called out to his brothers in the common room as he skipped out of the house with excitement. By this point, he'd been to tons of parties, but the joy of it never really wore off. The energy, the dancing, the drinks, the new people, and most importantly? Getting to do whatever the hell he wanted.

The pumping music and the flashing lights of the club greeted him as he threw open the doors. "Who's ready for an Asmo party?! Your Avatar of Lust has arrived!" he cheered.

Everyone in the club went wild immediately, as they always did for these. A night of partying, hosted by the Avatar of Lust, filled with dancing and drinks, and inevitably ending in a wild orgy at some nearby hotel room with as many bodies as could be crammed in? The demons at the club always went wild for an event like that.

Cambores, his good friend, came up immediately to give him a kiss on the cheek and pass him a drink. "Asmo, baby, we've been waiting for you! There's a whole line of succubi who have been begging for a dance with you tonight!"

"Only a dance?" he giggled impishly, as he waved to the line his friend pointed out. "Well, they do have to take turns, since a beauty like mine has to be shared with everyone. But we'll have to see if any of them can tear themselves off of me after a dance!"

Wasting no time, he grabbed the hand of the first one and whirled her onto the floor. "Bothothêl, you're back for me again tonight," he teased. "Didn't get enough of me last night?"

"No, never, Lord Asmodeus," she responded, gazing adoringly into his eyes. She shimmied against him, pressing herself close against his body, and he responded in kind. "I want you every night if you'll allow it."

"Well, I'm flattered, my dear," he answered in a sultry whisper against her collarbone, "but I'm afraid you can't hog beauty like this. But maybe next time I eat you out, I'll eat your heart along with it so I can carry you with me, if you want to stay beside me so badly." He felt the lust emanating from her at that, and took the opportunity to give her a little nibble against her neck, before twirling her away to pull forth the next two succubi from the line at once.

By the tenth or eleventh song, he was about ready for another drink - and some actual action, rather than the intimate but very short flirts he was having with his dance partners. "Sarabocres, darling," he greeted the bartender cheerfully. "Can I get a Brimstone Kiss? And...a Death Tequila Sunset for this new friend of mine right here," he added, tugging over a random demon who had caught his eye from further down the bar.

"O-oh, um, Lord Asmodeus! T-thank you," the demon sputtered in surprise.

"You're welcome," he smiled sweetly back. "So you know my name, what's yours?"

"Kamusil, sir," she answered. Her eyes sparkled as she took him in, though she quickly scooted back and looked away. "Wow. You're even more beautiful than everyone says."

Smirking, he placed a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze back up to meet his. "Well, no one can accurately describe perfection, after all. But no need to be shy, cutie, you can drop the sir and all those formalities. Tell me, what kinds of secret desires are you hiding? If you could have, hmm...let's say, ten demons here in your bed tonight, who would they be?"

As if in a trance, any hesitation in her dropped away immediately. She pointed out various demons to him, some he recognized and some he didn't, all of them drop-dead gorgeous.

A mischievous smile spread across his face. He gave her a quick smooch, and whispered, "Okay, wait for me just a bit then, and don't you leave before me. Okaaay? We'll have a good time tonight, I promise."

With that, he downed his newly arrived drink and returned to join the throngs of dancers.

--

What a fun plaything she'd been, truly. Despite having been so shy, Kamusil had really had a knack for spying some of the wildest partners he'd been with in quite a while. He lay idly in the bed, tracing the sleeping form of one of the many sexed out demons beside him.

It would be an exaggeration to say they'd all explored pleasures together he'd never dreamed of - he was the Avatar of Lust, after all - but certainly there were some obscure things he got to try out that night. And there was always tomorrow, or the next night, or the next.

After all, there was nothing stopping him anymore. No shame, no modesty, none of the rules binding him. He could do whatever the hell he wanted.

And he loved it.

[nanoland]

new chapter (lucifer fic)

(earlier parts are here; whole thing is here) 

Ponder on the Narrow House, part 3 

Mazikeen + Eve + Michael, gen fic (for now), warning for gun violence 

0   

Along the California coastline, the cruise ship Illustrious Voyager bore four thousand three hundred and ten passengers, one thousand two hundred and ninety-six crewmembers, and two guide dogs.

Five thousand six hundred and eight souls, in total.

At around 4pm, without anyone noticing, that number became five thousand six hundred and nine.

Hands clasped behind her back, Eve strolled down the promenade, admiring the vessel’s size and beauty. This fresh new millennium’s wealth astonished her. Sickened, sometimes. Entranced, sometimes. But always astonished.

Back in the garden, they’d slept on and under rocks. When it rained, they got wet. When large animals came by, they hid. No weapons. No shelter. No blankets. The only resource they’d had in abundance was food. Good grief – so much food. God had been so proud of all the different fruits and nuts and mushrooms he’d made available to them, and Adam had been so grateful. Eve supposed she had been, too.

It hadn’t stopped her from one day approaching her husband and the plump rabbits resting in his lap – two of several dozen pets – and asking if he didn’t think the cold nights would be much more endurable if they each had a warm pair of fur slippers.

Then she’d met Lucifer. Fallen in love. Bitten the apple. Learned how powerful he and his Father truly were. That was when the real questions, the sticky, prickly questions, had come bubbling up.

If Lucifer has such a vast family, with so many siblings, why can’t I have even one? she’d asked the sky. Why is Adam all I get?

And later: If You can simply bring people into existence, why must I scream and bleed and shit myself in order to have children? Am I doing it wrong? Is there another way? If there isn’t, why not?

And later: Why is nothing fair?

And, most recently, after meeting Mazikeen: Why isn’t everything at least equally unfair? Why do humans get a world of options while Maze and her family are expected to serve angels from birth to death? Why isn’t Maze allowed into Heaven, even after an eternity of loyalty and hard work?

“Sorry,” she said, flashing white teeth at a passing crewmember. “I’m trying to find a friend of mine. Can you tell me how to get to Room 835?”

Half an hour later, there was a splash and the ship’s population dropped to five thousand six hundred and seven.

Before binding his arms and legs, Eve had secured Andrew Bismarck’s lifejacket and gagged him. Furious and helpless, he bobbed alongside her as the ship moved on and Mazikeen rowed up in her inflatable raft, wearing a sunset-orange swimsuit.

“Should I be worried about those, babe?” she asked as she gripped Bismarck’s lifejacket and hauled him out of the water.

Eve smiled at the dolphin pod swimming in playful loops around her, and patted the nearest one’s nose. “No. They’re my friends.”

The inflatable wasn’t big enough for three people, so Eve held on to a friend’s dorsal fin and let him drag her back to The Choronzon.

Michael stood on the deck, looking bored. As they climbed aboard, their prisoner slung over Mazikeen’s shoulder, he drawled, “Seriously? This sad specimen’s worth two million dollars?”

“Actually, his net worth is eight hundred million,” said Mazikeen, dumping him down. “Two million is just what his ex-wife is willing and able to pay.”

Wringing out her hair, Eve added, “She took half his money in the divorce but she gave almost all of it to a chimpanzee shelter. I really like her!���

His lip curled. “How delightfully sordid. Isn’t this all a little beneath you, Ms Mazikeen? I mean, you’re a big deal in Hell. High Commander of Lucifer’s legions, head advisor to the king himself. Aren’t you worried taking jobs like this diminishes you?”

Busy handcuffing Bismarck to the railing, Mazikeen said, “Eve, honey? Do me a favour?”

“Boop!” Eve chirped, having already snuck up behind Michael, and pushed him overboard.

“I know it’s your whole gimmick,” Mazikeen called down as he splashed and spluttered, his face red with princely indignation. “And I know you don’t have a lot else going for you. But the next time you try that on me, I will stop being nice. Kapish?”

“Kapish,” he muttered.

The Choronzon had barely travelled a mile before Eve spotted Bismarck’s henchmen coming after them.

“Someone gimme details!” shouted Mazikeen, busy putting a bulletproof vest on over her bikini and opening up the box she’d told Dan contained a fishing rod, not a halberd.

Eve peered through her binoculars. “Two speedboats. Twelve guys on jet skis. Guns everywhere.”

“Heh. Awesome. Mickey – move that tight ass to the front and make like a nice juicy target.”

“Wait, what about-…” Michael began, trailing off as Mazikeen dove gracefully into the sea.

Bouncing from foot to foot, Eve shot him a grin. “Don’t look so glum, sourpuss. This is the fun part.”

She’d never spoken to Michael in Heaven, despite the millennia they’d both resided only two miles apart, her in a lakeside cottage on the outskirts of the Silver City, him in the crystal palace in its centre.

Granted, she’d not exactly had a warm and fuzzy relationship with any of Lucifer’s siblings. They all knew what had happened in the garden. Some had been nice – Amenadiel had visited often, even though he’d never had much to say and they’d spent their time together skipping stones across the lake’s surface. But the others had kept her at a distance. She was a bad influence.

Michael, however, was the only angel she’d not ever said one word to.

She’d seen him, now and then, in the early days, when she was the only human in Heaven and, as such, grudgingly invited to divine family get-togethers. On those occasions, she’d spent too much time feeling awkward and out-of-place to pay attention to the sullen figure lurking in whatever shadows were available. The one time she’d glanced his way, it had been to marvel at the stories of people getting the twins mixed up; beyond the raw basics of bone structure, Michael couldn’t have looked less like her old lover.

Bullets sprayed across the hull. Humming, Eve stepped daintily into Michael’s shadow, seconds before they started bouncing off his shoulders and chest.

“It is beneath her,” he muttered.

She made an ambiguous noise. “How d’you figure?”

There came a shout and a splash from the nearest jet ski. The bullets stopped.

“C’mon. She’s Mazikeen. Everyone in the Silver City knows about Mazikeen. Ordinarily, we couldn’t give two dry shits about Lucifer’s minions, but her? She’s a minor celebrity. The power behind Hell’s throne. Christ, it’s no secret my beloved twin couldn’t govern his way out of a paper bag.”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling fondly. “He’s kind of bad at everything. Except music. He’s a great musician.”

More shouting. More shooting. More bullets bouncing off Michael’s torso. Mazikeen rode by, one hand gripping her newly-acquired jet ski’s throttle lever, the other clutching her bloodstained halberd. Watching her circle the enemy, Eve was reminded of a sheep dog.

Michael went on: “And then there’s the fact that for a while, everyone thought Lucifer was going to marry her. It was all anyone could talk about. Jophiel was taking bets on when the proposal would happen. She’d have been High Commander and the Queen of Hell. Instead? All of a sudden, Lucifer takes an indefinite vacay to the mortal realm, drags her with him, and next thing anyone knows, she’s working behind a bar.”

The remaining jet skis and their terrified, wounded riders had been neatly rounded up, which meant it was time for Eve to open her purse.

“Um – how long have those been in there?” asked Michael, watching her take out three grenades.

��You want one?” she offered. “Don’t forget to take the pin out before you throw it. I did that my first time.”  

One thing to be said for millions of dull, dull years spent sitting next to God’s Greatest Warrior, skipping stones across a lake; your aim got good.

The first blast was a warning, not close enough to actually kill any of Bismarck’s men, though the resultant waves did knock several into the water. They tried to retreat, turning their vehicles around, only to remember Mazikeen, corralling them single-handed and now armed with machine guns she’d confiscated from those already bested.

When they saw the second and third grenade incoming, they gave up and abandoned the jet skis, jumping into the sea and swimming for their lives.

“Fuck!” Michael yelped, blocking his ears at the concomitant explosions.

Gazing past the debris and smoke, Eve saw Mazikeen head for the nearest of the two speedboats. Its occupants, preoccupied with aiming a rocket launcher at The Choronzon, saw her coming far too late.

“I get your point,” said Eve, as her girlfriend and her halberd made short work of the crew. “But that’s a really… how can I put this? It’s a really angelic way of looking at things. Maze doesn’t consider anything ‘beneath her’.”

“Wow. Sick burn. You’re basically admitting she has no pride.”

“Oh, she’s got pride. Tons of pride. Her pride’s just dependant on how well she does a job, not on the type of job she has. She wasn’t happy working at Lux, but that wasn’t because she thought bartending was ‘beneath her’; it was because she prefers doing things she’s good at. Customer service isn’t really one of her strengths.”

The second speedboat was abandoned by its crew mere seconds before Mazikeen rammed the first speedboat into it, cackling victoriously.

“Actually,” Eve said, moving from Michael’s shadow to where Mazikeen had earlier set a crate of peach soda – her favourite – out on the deck, “now that you mention it, I guess I’m the one with no pride. Haven’t really ever had anything to be proud of. Your Dad never gave me the chance. I was never meant to do things. I was just meant to be.”

Michael snorted. “Lucky you. Trust me; he may have softened in his later years, but back in the day he never, ever stopped riding our asses. You think Lucy really rebelled because he had better plans for how the universe should be run? Because he was an innovator? Nope. Lazy dick just hated being told to do his chores.”

By the time Mazikeen swam back to them, saltwater had washed off the blood and her ponytail had come loose.

“Oh, hey,” said Eve, gripping her hand and pulling her up. “A mermaid.”

After pressing a rough kiss to her cheek and taking a swig of peach soda, Mazikeen asked, “You okay? He did his job?”

Eve patted the angel’s shoulder – the one that wouldn’t hurt. “He was terrific! Awesome addition to the team.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Michael mumbled.

Ignoring him, Mazikeen snatched up a towel to dry her hair. “Glad to hear it. Alright! Let’s get Bismarck back to shore, get paid, and find a place to have dinner so we can toast Team Hellrazor’s first successful mission.”

“R-A-Z-O-R,” Eve informed Michael. “To make it cooler.”

[castiel-kline]

cas and balthazar meet again post finale

This one really got away from me, and it got really long. I promise it does answer the prompt but I also made it super plotty for some reason. I hope you don’t mind!

Being taken by the Empty didn’t feel like dying. 

Of course, that’s what was happening to him, but it didn’t feel like that. It felt cold, and painful, and vengeful. Lonely and miserable and laced with glittering knives of regret.

It was his damnation. Not the traditional sense of the word, but true nonetheless. 

But if facing it meant he’d save his family? Save Jack from being subject to the same fate? He’d damn himself to this a thousand times over, without a single shred of hesitation. 

The Empty had him entirely covered in its goo, tendrils snaking under his skin and into his body from every angle. In through the eyes, the nose, snaking down his throat. Under the fingernails, into the ears, scraping through the tattered remnants of his grace and pressing down around his true form. 

It was agony. 

Eventually it subsided, and some of the inky tendrils retracted, leaving him gasping for air that neither existed in this realm nor was truly necessary. He collapsed in a heap, the Empty bubbling around him. He spared a glance up, wondering if the Shadow were nearby to gloat before sending them both into slumber. What he saw… well. Unexpected didn’t quite cover it. 

“Jack?” 

“Hmm. Guess again, Castiel.” 

“No.” Don’t you dare look like him.

“Oh, yes. Because it hurts you to look at him, doesn’t it?” The Shadow leaned down, condescension clear as day in its every move. So wrong on Jack’s face that it twisted something deep within him. It stared him down, watching him squirm, mania-painted smirk stretching wider. “Good. I want you to suffer, so that’s what you’re going to do.” 

“I thought you wanted your peace and quiet,” Cas managed, as more tendrils snaked out over his wrists and ankles. Dragging him a little bit further down, completely at the Empty’s mercy. Somehow he suspected that was the point.

The Shadow straightened, looking down Jack’s nose at him. 

“Of course I do,” It said, emulating Jack’s earnestness. Liar. “But I can’t!”

“What?”

“Wonderboy-” the Shadow gesticulated wildly in the direction of its facsimile body “-woke everybody up when he exploded all over me. So I don’t get to sleep, no, and if I don’t get to sleep then you definitely don’t get to sleep. None at all.” 

Quicker than a blink, the Shadow had fisted Castiel’s collar in its hands, bringing their faces inches apart. 

“At least,” It whispered, eyes wild with an energy Jack had never, and would never, possess. “I get to make you suffer like you’ve made me suffer. So I want you to look at this face, Castiel. Look at it, and know that it’s contorted in tears right now because Papa Bear abandoned him.” 

The Shadow threw him down, the goo swallowing him right back up. Submerged in the dark, he scarcely felt its weight. He was too busy drowning in a fresh cascade of guilt.

It yanked him back up, tendrils leaving him suspended in the middle of nothing. Some of them twisted at his feathers, pulling them just enough to be excruciating but not enough to rip them free. He screamed.

“Be quiet!” The Empty released him, and Cas fell back down, every fibre of his being crying out in pain.

The Shadow cackled, everything about it from the pitch to the cadence to the intention screaming wrong, wrong, wrong.

“You’re never going to regret this, are you?”

Cas glared at it, mustering up as much defiance as he could. 

“No,” he croaked. “Because saving my family? That’s worth dying a thousand deaths.”

The Shadow doubled over laughing again. Then, quick as a blink, kicked him across the face, sending him reeling backwards.

“‘Die a thousand deaths’? Please. You’re pathetic, you know that?”

Castiel pushed himself back up, following the Shadow’s pacing with his eyes. It walked with one arm tucked behind its back, the other gesticulating as it spoke.

“Death isn’t going to be enough for you, hmm. Oh, you know what you’ve never been able to take?” It spun back around, grinning down at him. “You can’t stand seeing the pain you’ve caused. And since you can’t see what’s left of your precious little family- not that they even care that you died, by the way- how would you feel about seeing the angels again?”

No. He must have looked visibly afraid, because the Shadow only smiled wider. 

“Not so pleasant a thought, hmm? Seeing as you killed most of them.” It laughed again, clapping its hands in an expression of glee that would have been endearing coming from Jack, but now simply served to be disturbing. “Oh, yes. It’ll be just like throwing a scrap of meat to a pack of starving dogs.”

Cas shook his head, but the Empty pressed on. It waved its hand, and Castiel was thrown some immeasurable distance away. He pushed himself to a sitting position, and watched in horror as the ground bubbled around him, and his brothers and sisters began to crawl their way out.

He recognized them, of course, because he’d taken care to never forget a single name. He saw Hael first, then Bartholomew, then Jonah and Efram and Ambriel and Samandriel. He saw Raphael, Uriel, Anna, Jophiel. He scrambled to his feet, unable to do anything but watch and wait for their wrath to undoubtedly descend upon him. 

Someone grabbed him from behind and pulled, running and dragging Castiel with them. He didn’t fight it, figuring that whoever had him was going to inflict a world of pain and there wasn’t a thing to do but accept it. They’d gone a fair distance, if there was such a thing as distance in nothing, before they stopped and Cas turned to face who had taken him. 

“Balthazar?” His voice came out strangled, as scarcely more than a whisper. 

“Cas,” Balthazar said, staring at him with something unreadable in his eyes. “Your wings…”

“Balthazar,” Cas repeated, finding himself unable to say anything else, mind swirling in an inescapable vortex of grief and guilt and pain. “I’m sorry, my friend. I’m so sorry.”

“What, for killing me? You weren’t yourself.”

“I was. That’s the problem.”

Balthazar just shook his head. “It’s going to take more than a stab in the back to get rid of me. You do know that, right?”

“If we weren’t already dead I’d offer you my blade to kill me. I deserve nothing more.”

“Castiel.” Cas forced himself to meet Balthazar’s eyes directly. “I know you, and so I forgive you. As I’ve told you before- nothing’s changed.”

Cas smiled bitterly. “Except me.”

“What happened to you?” Balthazar’s fingers traced the air where Castiel’s wings lay mangled and twisted in another dimension. “You look like you’ve been clawed apart by feral house cats.”

“I destroyed everything, Balthazar. So many times.” And he felt like he was being crushed under the weight of all his mistakes. Perhaps this was the torture the Empty preferred for him- giving him back a lost friend, giving him forgiveness- and then ripping it away again. Surely even someone as loyal as Balthazar wouldn’t want to associate with him after learning of the things he’d done.

“You, Cassie? I’ve only ever known you to do what’s right.”

“How can you say that when you saw me make one of my biggest mistakes? When I killed you because of it?”

Balthazar scoffed. “Mistake? Cas, you were trying to stop our control freak of an older brother from letting the other ones out to destroy the world. What about that is a mistake? Sure, Crowley was a bit of a snake, but come on. It can’t have been so long that you’ve forgotten your good intentions.”

Cas didn’t say a word, and Balthazar narrowed his eyes. “How long has it been, Cas?”

Cas sighed. “Nine years.”

“Nine years.” Balthazar’s eyebrows had shot all the way up. “Wow. Not long at all. So what could… no. Tell me you weren’t.”

Castiel frowned. “Weren’t what?”

“Weren’t still kissing the Winchesters’ asses for the whole nine years.”

“They’re my friends, Balthazar.”

“Oh, really?” Balthazar crossed his arms. “If they’re your friends, why did they treat you like one of the guns they keep in the trunk of their wretched car?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it, Cas?” Balthazar sighed, backing down a little. Nine years of death wouldn’t stop them from bickering, it seemed, though he did put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. An uncharacteristic attempt to show solidarity through the sarcasm.

“Look,” Balthazar continued. “What you do is your business, but… just tell me there was something good in those years. That it wasn’t just you running around trying to prove yourself to them.”

There was something, in fact, something he’d never expected. Something beautiful.

“I had a son,” he admitted. He’d often wondered what Jack would be like meeting angels that weren’t hell-bent on killing him. He’d imagined Jack meeting Balthazar, or Hannah, or Rachel or Samandriel, but it would never come to fruition. The best he would get was telling them about him, assuming he would be able to escape being choked and stretched and drowned by the depths of the Empty for all eternity.

“Why, Cassie, I’m impressed,” Balthazar said wryly. Oh no. Before Cas could interject and explain, Balthazar continued. “Looks like you really did get that stick out of your ass. And you put it right up-”

“Balthazar! He’s not mine, not like that. He chose me, and his mother was a friend. That’s all.”

Balthazar seemed to enjoy how flustered he was, but his tone was serious. “You adopted a human child?”

“No, he’s a nephilim.”

“Ah,” Balthazar said. “So they changed the rules regarding them in the past nine years, then?”

“No,” Cas said again, getting frustrated. He’d forgotten how much Balthazar loved to hear himself speak. Even if he had missed it, it was still mildly insufferable.

“Well, you rebel Cas, you. But, ah- who was the sire?”

Cas winced. “Lucifer.”

“Oh, my. That is unfortunate.”

“Yeah. Jack’s nothing like him, though. He’s… he’s very much like his mother. And I like to think he’s a little bit like me, too.”

Balthazar looked at him, somehow still reading him like a book after all this time.

“You spoil the poor child, don’t you?”

“I most certainly do not,” Cas huffed.

“Oh, yes you do. You’ve always been soft, but now you’re practically a down pillow.”

Cas’ smile was sadder, again. “I told you I’ve changed.”

“Maybe so. But we haven’t.”

“Thank you.”

Balthazar smiled. “I do have one question though, Cas.”

“Of course.”

“How did you die?”

Well. He supposed it would have had to be asked eventually. Unfortunately his hesitation gave Balthazar another opportunity to talk over him.

“Please don’t tell me it was for the Winchesters.”

“I love them.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “Of course you do. And unfortunately I love that about you. Well, go on. Tell me a story.”

Cas shrugged. “I made a deal with the Empty. My life for Jack’s, which- it wasn’t even a question. It said that when I was finally happy, it would take me.”

Balthazar frowned. “What did you in?”

“You know, I’m not really sure. But I managed to save Dean, and that’s all that matters.”

“Oh, Cas,” Balthazar muttered, sounding deeply sad. “Well, at least you were clearly a better father than our dear old absent God. That much is clear.”

Cas’ heart sank. He couldn’t not tell him, though he didn’t necessarily want to break the news.

“Balthazar.”

“What?”

“Um. A lot has happened since I’ve last seen you, and there’s a lot you need to know, but God- God was never on our side.”

--------

They walked aimlessly through the Empty, keeping aware for signs of their siblings or the Shadow, but oddly finding none.

“Well then,” Balthazar said, flippant as ever. Cas was nearly sure he was deflecting.

“That’s all you have to say? You’re not angry?”

“Nope.” Forced cheerfulness. “Never liked him anyway. Frankly, I’m surprised you even met the man.”

Cas paused and stopped moving, feeling something tugging at his grace.

“Cas, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” Balthazar had stopped too, hovering closer. 

A pocket of the nothingness in front of them seemed to pull itself inward, caving in like a black hole and then cracking open just a bit. Was this what it looked like when someone died and came to the Empty?

Hopefully not, because the distortion cleared and Jack was standing there. And it was painfully, obviously Jack, clearly indicated by everything from his posture to the grace Cas could feel reaching for his own.

Balthazar stiffened, preparing for a fight, but the minute Jack caught sight of Castiel the angel found himself with an armful of nephilim. He held on tight, feeling Jack trembling slightly.

Having connected the dots, Balthazar caught his eye over Jack’s shoulder and mouthed “down pillow.” Cas shook his head slightly, but turned his attention back to his son.

“Jack? Are you-”

“I’m getting you out, Cas,” Jack said, pulling back. “We’re both getting out of here.”

Balthazar’s stricken expression tugged at Cas’ heart.

“Just me?” Cas asked.

Jack’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“The other angels are awake, Jack. Can you…”

“I… maybe. But, Cas, I don’t… I don’t know them. Why…”

“It’s alright if you can’t,” Cas assured. “But if we can help them somehow, be that bringing them back or putting them to sleep… I need to try to make things right.”

Jack nodded. “I’ll try to help.”

Cas smiled at him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “Thank you. And thank you for coming to get me.”

“Of course. I missed you,” Jack said, eyes wide. Cas felt something else inside him twisting.

Balthazar cleared his throat, and Cas gently turned Jack around to face the third member of their party.

“Jack, this is Balthazar. He’s a good friend.”

Jack and Balthazar looked at each other, Jack frowning and Balthazar smirking in a horribly misguided attempt to be friendly. The silence stretched on, utterly deafening. Jack broke it first.

“I… I met an alternate universe version of you that was not very nice.”

Balthazar didn’t miss a beat.

“Well, you know what they say. Don’t judge an angel by their alternate universe counterparts, right?”

That got a bit of a smile out of Jack, though he was still wary. Cas couldn’t blame him, so he kept in contact to keep him at ease.

“We need to find the Shadow. Make an arrangement so that we can take a few angels with us and the Empty goes back to peace and quiet,” Jack said. The self-assuredness was clearly a front, but somehow Cas felt as if he’d have time to help Jack through it. 

“Okay,” he said, nodding at Jack. Jack nodded back, and the three of them started walking. Into what, they didn’t know. 

But Castiel had the strangest feeling that it was all going to turn out alright.