#jon is actually the funniest person ever

[vicioustoker]

tfw you've been kidnapped so many times it's starting to get more annoying than anything

[copperhawks]

The funniest thing to me about Kel, and maybe one of the most interesting because of how understated it is, is that Kel becomes a good commander in the end, not by emulating Wyldon who was cold and implacable and insensitive, or by emulating Raoul who mostly only disobeys orders out of principle or because he has an issue with what the order says about his personal relationship with Jon, but by emulating JON.

Kel doesn't even LIKE Jon, she BARELY respects him as a person. He's a good enough ruler that she's willing to fight for him and swear loyalty to him and to at least mostly believe that he wouldn't work with Blayce to make his own killing monsters, but that's as far as it goes for Kel. If he's kind to her, she finds it uncomfortable and almost untrustworthy because she assumes he doesn't care about her and so his kindness and respect towards her must be fake.

But from the outside, as readers, we know just how much Jon fought for Kel. We know how much he does respect her right to be a knight. Jon is the sole reason that Kel DID get the opportunity to prove herself, if he'd capitulated to Wyldon completely, she just wouldn't have ever been allowed to join. Kel doesn't KNOW THAT, obviously, but we do. We know that Jon did everything he could to find a way to convince Wyldon to let Kel become a page. While Wyldon claims later that the reason he chose to let her stay at the end of the probation year was because his better judgment convinced him she'd earned it, I'd be willing to bet that part of that better judgment also included knowing if he couldn't prove to JON that she needed to go, then he'd be in trouble. Kel was training and working in front of plenty of other trainers and teachers who could easily contradict Wyldon's lies if he'd tried it, many of whom are closer to Jon than they are to Wyldon.

Kel's experiences and feelings about that experience are entirely valid, and she doesn't have the knowledge we do about how hard Jon fought for her, so it's not shocking that she's upset with him for a good portion of her series. She never even discovers this truth by the end of her series, even though she does get a lesson from Jon and Thayet (and Raoul to some degree) about how politics and compromises work in order to make changes happen. So her opinion of him by the end is boiled down to the quote from Squire: "good kings weren't always good men." It makes sense for her to think this, but because Kel's knowledge base is so limited (and her worldview so black and white for much of her series), it makes her an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator about this particular issue.

Kel believes that while Jon generally does his duty and keeps the peace, he doesn't actually care all that much about his people as individuals. But in their only meaningful conversation in Squire, Jon is able to point out that he (and Thayet, who is actually equal to Jon in power, something Kel either doesn't know which would be a failure in her education or just tends to ignore so she can focus her ire on Jon) has to make a LOT of compromises in order to get ANYTHING useful done at all. Sometimes, often, it means making deals with people he doesn't like or people he just fundamentally disagrees with, because it's the first step in a multi-step plan to help more people in the long run. He also points out that just throwing his weight and authority around in order to be able to change everything he wants to change immediately regardless of what anyone else thinks about it is a great way to get himself and his family killed. Because even if he had good intentions, that would be tyranny. It does make Kel think a little, but she doesn't tend to like him much still afterwards, her resentment from her page years will always color her opinion of him a little.

However, then she gets to Haven and she's suddenly tossed into a position of leadership over a lot of other people, many of whom disagree with each other or disagree with her or both. And all of the sudden, Kel has to make compromises. She doesn't LIKE the way the sergeants often treat their men, especially the sergeants whose men are convicts, but there's very very little she can do about it without really pissing off those same sergeants and that's not something she can afford to do. There's a moment when Neal starts getting frustrated about the treatment of the convicts and she takes him out to vent to her so he doesn't vent to the sergeants, something that the sergeants would then take out on their men. Kel's reasoning as she does this is that she "preferred to avoid battles with them now so she would have authority with them later if she needed to use it." Later, Kel is talking to Daine and she says "That's all this job is... Trying to please everyone and pleasing no one. And it will only get worse, not better."

Both of these moments showcase Kel choosing to make compromises. She may not like the way the sergeants treat the convicts, but she needs to stay on the sergeants' good sides because she doesn't have enough resources to butt heads with them nor enough authority to just force the issue, and even if she DID, it could cause the sergeants to become troublesome or take out their frustration with her on the men in ways she can't see as well. But staying on the sergeants' good sides might mean letting some of their maltreatment slide if it's not physically harming the convicts. And even setting that aside, she's dealing with nearly 500 refugees eventually, all of which are from different towns in the area and have different needs, not all of which she can accommodate. This requires compromise. Sometimes she can please some of them and not others, but mostly she probably just ends up not pleasing anybody because that's often how compromises WORK.

She never makes the active connection to Jon and his lesson on leadership from Squire while she's in Haven, but that quote up there about how this job (aka being a commander) is all about trying to please everyone and pleasing no one? It sounds a HECK of a lot like "good kings weren't always good men." You can try your best to help others, but often doing the right thing can involve making everyone unhappy. You can't be everybody's friend if you're going to get anything done.

Some of this she might've learned from Raoul's style of command, but Raoul commands a fairly small amount of people (at least in comparison to a King), and so we see him able to be pretty friendly to the people he commands in a way that Jon is perhaps unable to do. And she might believe that she learned some of this from Wyldon, but Wyldon had a tendency to be very unfair and biased due to his raging bigotry and conservative values, as well as the fact that he doesn't actually even LIKE being a training master and that likely impacted the way he treated the pages (he's almost never that kind to the pages, whereas we see him capable of being quite kind with the refugees later, which is where Kel comes to the conclusion that he hadn't enjoyed being a training master).

But Jon makes an entire speech about how he (and Thayet) have been working THEIR ENTIRE REIGN to change laws that help people. He explains how they have to consider the needs of merchants, nobles, farmers, street people, priests/priestesses, and mages. They have to consider not only what these people might need or want, but also what they could do when they feel sufficiently offended and how that could impact not just the royal family or the nobility but the realm as a whole. Jon points out that they HAVE made changes, for the better, and that just because they don't always succeed at everything or because they have to compromise sometimes, doesn't mean they aren't working at making changes or that they don't care about helping people. Not everyone you have power over is going to be your friend, they might not even be someone you like. But if you're going to take on the job of leadership, that's something you have to be willing to accept and work with, which often means making compromises with people whose needs and values are contradictory to your own.

Jon probably knows when he makes the compromise with Wyldon that it will likely impact a lot of people's good opinion of him. Alanna is right there and clearly angry, and we know Thayet doesn't like the decision, either. And it's entirely possible that Jon knows in the moment that Kel herself will put the blame on him because he's the King. But he also knows that if he insists on Kel being allowed to be a page without trying to compromise with Wyldon, Wyldon will quit over it and he'll end up with ten DIFFERENT problems that could cause a lot bigger issues to far more people than just one girl. So he makes the compromise. He sacrifices Alanna and Thayet and even Kel's good opinion of him in order to ensure that Kel gets the opportunity to become a Knight without turning all of his nobles against him which could ultimately lead to a civil war. Is it fair? No, and he knows it. But it's the best option he has in order to get the outcome they all actually want which is just for Kel to have the chance to prove herself.

Kel has to make similar choices once she's finally in a position of leadership of her own. And whether she realizes it or not, without ever even spending more than a few minutes with Jon, she ends up emulating his leadership style more than anybody else's because it WORKS and it works WELL. She'll probably never admit it, she might never even realize it herself, but she's so much more like Jon than any of the other men she sees as role models. And I love that. I love the dramatic irony of that, that the one person Kel only barely respects because of a compromise he made on her behalf that she'll never even know about, is the person Kel ends up most resembling. Jon is the reason she has the opportunity to become the Protector of the Small in the first place, Jon is the person who created that environment that allowed her to nurture those values, and she'll probably never even really be able to acknowledge that, because sometimes that's what being a good leader means.

[phantomrose96]

Been doing a selective relisten of TMA where I skim and listen to old episodes I remember quite liking. I'm enjoying this and it works considering the majority of statements are stand-alone but the funniest impact this has on the story is just speedrunning Jon's *gestures* everything.

Dude spends approximately 4 days being a stiff stuck-up pompous ass skeptic and on day 5 he's like "I'm DONE with that, actually. We're about to die by 5-trillion worms so I have to confess I am in fact scared of EVERY ghost ever and I've ONLY been acting like an asshole because I am so afraid of the thing watching me and also because I'm an asshole. I promise to no longer be an arrogant skeptic I will NOW be a paranoid conspiracy theorist who thinks every fart is a gunshot trying to kill me."

But the actual funniest impact is when I scroll and remember an old s1 episode I do wanna listen to and listening to that out of order is like "Statement ends. Btw I'm NORMAL again. I'm not a conspiracy theorist anymore never mind that. I'm the smartest person in the room again. Anyway this person's fucking stupid for thinking bugs exist. I hope Martin dies today."

[girlrot-girlworms-girlhive]

re listening to tma and s2 jon is actually the funniest person ever. he’s surprised and suspicious that his coworkers are avoiding him after being caught STALKING them. he’s all like “i’ve noticed everyone’s been keeping their distance. i think they’re plotting against me. i don’t like this.” like he’s so goofy

[jazzically]

mag 178

AWWWW MANNNNN THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!! AND SAD!!!!!!!!!! DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uhh the endless abattoir the mag called Killing Floor in season 2 i think?? anyway thats one of my favorite statements of all time URGH and this one reminded me of that so yay

but aside from the epic Flesh content BASIRA. IM SO SORRY BASIRA I DONT WANT DAISY TO DIE EITHER....... ... . ...... and jon ily but would u please be better at communicating youre driving me nuts here

sighhg I LOVE THEM ALL this is a really interesting situation jonny has put them in huh

update never mind i forgive you jon you and martin are wonderful

mag 182

the concept of this episode was brilliant. reminded me of the hostile hospital (soue)!!! tickled me right where i love horror

mag 183

MC ESCHER MENTION god i love that guy's artwork

hehehehehe martin is so real for this

i.......HA

that is crazy

..

GUYS THEY SAID IT IM BOUNCING OFF THE FRICKING WALLS AWWWWWWWWWWWW AAAAAHHHHWWWEHSISHEKSJDODHODHDODJD

mag 184:

poor jonny having to come up with so many names /j

..OH MY GOD THAT WAS DEVASTATING THAT WAS SO SAD

poor jordannn og my god wtf i dont even know how to feel about that :(

mag 185:

preceding notes - honorable of rusty quill. respect to jon for owning up to his word and to everyone for being conscious of how their episodes may affect the audience because of the situation at hand

oooo this sounds really well done so far

also it's very cool that, since jon is now canonically in the places he describes, soundscape team can add actual sfx for specific parts of the story in addition to ambience

i like that the statement format has stayed despite even the apocalypse

aw maaan

poor tina ,,,

which power is this? stranger? id love to see more hybrid domains like martin's, i think

mag 186:

HAHAHAHA WAIT THIS IS AMAZING

ALEX IS SO GOOD AT TALKING TO HIMSELF??????

DUUUUDEEEEE THE WRITINGGGGG

this episode is awesome and it also makes me want to shriek

AAAAAUGH NO NOW I'M SAD

this man will do anything for tea i swear

ayyyyy and now martin gets to read a statement what an incredibly elaborate scheme

what.................ohmygoodness.......................this is upsetting methinks

187:

HELEN INTERRUPTING IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER IVE WAITED 186 EPISODES FOR THIS

i love the distortion so much as a character i really miss michael tho

hey is this the first first-person statement in s5??? i remember jonny saying he was saving the name alex for something??? unless that was a joke??? did jonny name the statement giver's hypothetical son after alexander j newall?????? what does that mean HELP

the door knocking noises and breathing are giving me anxiety /lh

......WHOOOOOAAAAAA. OKAY THAT WAS FREAKING COOL. THE PERSPECTIVE SWITCH HOLY SHIIIIIT????!!!! does that mean his pseudostatements are... live???? what????? mind bLOWN i need to listen to that again hang tf on

[cha-melodius]

9 books

I have been tagged by a bunch people on this (thanks @cricketnationrise, @clottedcreamfudge, @kiwiana-writes, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @myheartalivewrites, @cultofsappho), so I guess I better do it even though choosing my 9 favorite books sounds impossible. A bunch of these are series, almost none of them are in any way new. Let's go!

Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien A perennial favorite. Fun fact, I once planned to pull a Christopher Lee and reread these every year but then my hyperfixation faded a bit lol. Still love the story and Tolkien's prose.

Dune by Frank Herbert This counts for the whole series, yes, even God Emperor. It took me a while to get to the last two books but I love them just as much, actually.

A Song of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin Still obsessed with this story and desperately hoping we get the full ending that it deserves and not just what D&D butchered on the show.

The Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde The perfect combination of literary nerdery, comedy, and crime-drama intrigue!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams Quite possibly the funniest book I've ever read, full stop.

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer A nonfiction entry! I love all of Jon Krakauer's books but I'm also obsessed with mountain climbing (reading about it, not doing it lmao), and this one is one that still haunts me.

Blindness by Jose Saramago Read this in college, became obsessed with the poetry and imagery of it.

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske Became absolutely obsessed with this one very quickly. Also I'm pretty sure the third book is going to become my entire personality when it comes out.

Dracula by Brahm Stoker Gonna be a hipster and say I've been obsessed with this book since I was in high school, which was long before Dracula Daily.

(Also reading everyone's lists has reminded me that I really need to actually read the copy of Circe sitting on my shelf...)

I can no longer remember who has and hasn't done this, so apologies for any double tags. @indomitable-love, @mirilyawrites, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @wolfpup026, @tedlassc, @beskarsoshiny, @lilythesilly, @jettestar, @iboatedhere, @pragmatic-optimist, @thesleepyskipper, @heytheredeann, @swearphil, @sweatersinthesummer, @petrodobreva, @b13-maybethistime, @liminalmemories21, @nontoxic-writes, @designatedgrape, @noahreids, @leaves-of-laurelin, @celeritas2997, @orchidscript, @athousandrooms, @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @dumbpeachjuice, @ikeepwatchinghelicopters, @okilokiwithpurpose, @thetamehistorian, @hummingbee-o0o

[rise-my-angel]

stannis must be so bitter knowing that ned just took his place for half of his family members.

robert "you were the brother i chose" baratheon was one thing and then the reader's like "even when i thought my own father was gone he was still the one i missed"

must be tough that two of your closest blood relatives look at you and go "damn i wish ned was here" 😭😭

The funniest thing is that while Robert loving Ned more then Stannis isn't personal it's just really a result of them being so different, the reader seeing Ned more as her father then Stannis is ABSOLUTELY Stannis's fault but he 100% blames Ned for it.

He's always been resentful of Ned ever since the rebellion, and how Robert never listens to him the way he does Ned. But then he marries his firstborn daughter to Ned's firstborn son as a political move using her as a secret pawn for his plans, and is later like "Why is she calling herself a Stark and siding with her husband instead of me?"

Half her life he sent her to Winterfell to serve as a ward in her most formative years, didn't go to either of her weddings one of which ROBERT OF ALL PEOPLE WAS THERE FOR, fought in a war started to save Neds life while Stannis publicly declared her a traitor for it, sent her back to Kings Landing specifically with instructions to assist Ned when he was named Hand of the King after returing home once dumping a sudden marriage on her right after a mans shes known and worked alongside for 6 years died while Stannis went home to Selyse and Shireen. His ONLY conversation after that with her before she died was lecturing her in front of her men and her King about how she is a traitor and purposley did not at all address the fact that he wanted her to be his heir again in front of her men and her King as if she wasn't even there, was so out of her life he didnt know until she was dead he was to have a grandson.

And STILL he's like "Ned Stark stole my daughter from me" because he has the social awareness of a lobster that literally all of this was his fault. And to add onto it, he treats Jon more like a son then he treats his actual daughter like his daughter.

When really, she's actually a lot more like Robert then she is Stannis and its those traits and tendencies that lends herself to become more attached to Ned and the other Starks much like Robert was.

Like he is fully aware at she and Jon are married and he hasnt sent a single raven addressing the matter whatsoever, but is going to be surprised when she's mad and resentful about it.

The Baratheons are all such clowns I swear to god.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

For the ask where you talk about tim deliberately not seeking further information about jon bc it’s already going to be hard enough to abandon him, I keep thinking back to the recording jon made to gerry where he says basically he can’t be saved, *but no one has ever tried*. I just think if Tim ever listened to that, then he would have to try to save jon somehow. Which would prob only get himself more stuck. Also, I love the idea of a wwdits style jon and daisy shenanigans. I would read/watch a whole series of just that lmaoo the idea is hilarious. Also I’m glad that they have each other in such a fucked up situation

oh yeah what happened to Jon is so far beyond the pale that I don’t think Tim could stomach being another guy complicit in it if he knew the truth. He wouldn’t be able to turn his back if he listened to a recording of Jon as a little boy slowly being eaten and begging the only person who’s really loved him to abandon him and get out. But Local Book Publisher Who’s Just Fine Not Knowing This Shit Exists Actually also doesn’t have much of a chance to do anything effective or meaningful about what happened.

I am a HUGE proponent of “tma is an office comedy” as seen in the fact that I actually made a tma/wwdits crossover and legitimately I just want to put Jon and daisy from nhthcth in Situations. They’re the funniest fucking duo to me and I want them to have to do talking heads explaining their actions. I’m aware that I’m the writer and therefore controller of this universe but I’m also beholden to my desire to make a functional plot and I’m so mad that I can’t just write 100k words of Jon and daisy fucking around as the ultimate world saving buddy cop

[dykeyote]

question because i have seen you tma post a bit: do you have thoughts on jonathan sims archivist of the magnus institute london (or anyone else)

barring that how do you feel about cecil kanagawa because i’m trying to get into penumbra a bit

FUNNIEST anon ask ever because idk if you know ths about me but i spent all of 2020 centering my entire personality around jon sims and all of 2021 centering my entire personality around cecil kanagawa . so yes . you could say im a fan of their work

more particularly i find jon delightful im not suuuupes into tma nowadays but i am quite fond of that little freak and whenever i think about said freak too hard i go spiralling downwards into a deep depression because i am so clinically insane about that fucker . 10/10 character

cecil kanagawa is PEAK character tho hes genuinely so fucking delightful i love that fucking idiot he made me transgender so i owe him my life . hes actually kinda fascinating is the thing like when youve thought abt him as much as i have (during said 2021 period and also whenever he randomly takes up shop in my mind again) you realize he is actually kinda deeply interesting and really sad but you dont have to be depressed thinking abt him bc he is also the worlds stupidest guy and is sooo funny but also he is objectively quite impressive and intelligent but also hes maaybe insane and has made some of the worst decisions ever . now thats versatility . he can serve anything . also love that hes a disabled trans guy who is without a doubt evil and insane and has committed horrible crimes but also too pathetic and silly for it to be like demonization . thousand out of ten character i started relistening to murderous mask today cant wait to get to his freak self

[briamichellewrites]

15

Jon brought Phoenix to meet his band before they went home. They didn’t know if he was a boyfriend or just a casual thing, but they were respectful to him just the same. He looked young. They guessed he was in his early twenties. They were straight, so they couldn’t tell if he was attractive or not. Jon found him attractive, so they would take his word for it. They found out he was touring with his band, Tasty Snax. What kind of music did they play? They were a Christian ska and punk band.

It was him and a group of guys from high school. He was also in another band, Linkin Park. They were a rock and rap group. What instruments did he play? He was a bass guitarist, but he also played the electric guitar, violin, and cello. His mother encouraged him to pursue music. They also found out that no, he was not dating Jon. He had a girlfriend named, Bria.

They’ve heard about her from Jon. What was she like? She was one of the sweetest, funniest, kind-hearted women they could ever meet. But, she also kept him accountable and she swore more than anyone he knew. They laughed. She was just super adorable, especially with her cat.

“Is she a cat person”, Richie asked.

“She’s an animal lover. It doesn’t matter what animal it is. She wants to have a house full of animals someday. Cats, dogs, rabbits, horses, hamsters, fish… we’re going to look for a house somewhere with enough room because I want to get a dog.”

“What’s that word she always uses”, Jon asked.

“Awesome. That, and the f-word.”

They laughed. He seemed like a good kid. Probably never really been in any trouble. They learned they were wrong in that assumption. He was arrested for underage drinking while in college. Did he go to jail? Yeah, he did. He was sentenced to probation and had to pay a fine. It helped him get sober. His former roommate, Brad kept him accountable for his sobriety, as did Bria.

They met her when she came in. She had cut her hair into a mullet style. It looked perfect on her! She introduced herself. David Bryan joked about Jon and Phoenix telling them all about her. Oh my god. They laughed.

“Somebody’s got to keep those boys in line.”

They laughed.

“I thought you were bringing Woody”, Jon joked.

“No, he hates his carrier because he thinks he’s going to the vet. So, it’s just easier to keep him at home instead of fighting him.”

Was Woody her cat? Yeah, he was named after Woody from Toy Story. He was an adorable asshole. Why? He was in his teenage phase, so he did things to be annoying like knocking things off flat surfaces or pretending he was starving to death. How did she know Jon? Her parents had a house next door to his growing up. She was around five years old when she met him.

Were her parents from New Jersey? Her mother was. She was from Red Bank, so she and her father bought a house in Middletown in 1986 or 1987. They visited about once or twice a year. Depending on their work schedules. Did they still visit New Jersey? No, they died in 1998 from a DWI accident. She didn’t know what they did with the house. They probably sold it a long time ago. Jon couldn’t remember, either. He would have to ask Dorothea. She would probably know.

Phoenix looked on at his girlfriend. How did he get so lucky to have her? She was having a lot of fun talking with the band. Tico noticed the shirt she was wearing underneath her jacket. It was a Bon Jovi Slippery When Wet t-shirt. He pointed it out and she looked down. She didn’t notice that when she put it on. They laughed.

“That’s a cool shirt”, Phoenix said.

“You want it? You can have it.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Awesome. I’ll give it to you later.”

“Awesome”, Richie said.

“You could write a list of everything I say and turn it into a drinking game.”

They laughed. Before they left, he had her play something on the guitar. What song? Enter Sandman. Hugh MacDonald handed her his guitar. They were curious to see if she could actually do it. She could! They were impressed. She could even do the guitar solo.

When they left, David joked about how entertaining she was. Yeah, she had been that way since she was younger. She had a rough beginning to her life. What happened, if it was okay to ask? She was born under the influence of crack cocaine. Her parents adopted her not knowing what her life was going to be like. She stayed in the neonatal intensive care unit for about a month while her tiny body went through withdrawal. They thought she would have significant disabilities.

Thankfully, she just had ADHD. Her parents sent her to boarding school because it gave her the structure she needed. They were both extremely wealthy. Her father was an investor and her mother was a professional makeup artist. They gave her whatever she wanted while teaching her how fortunate she was. They both did a great job with her.

When they died, they left everything to her. She had a house cleaner and an assistant, who were part of her family. Why did she need an assistant? Because of her ADHD. She was scatterbrained so she needed someone to help her remember to do things and keep her organized. If she had to do things herself, she would have a lot of trouble. She would possibly lose everything because she wouldn’t remember to pay the bills.

But the girl they just met was the girl he had known for almost fifteen years. What about her boyfriend? He was great for her because he was the calm in her hyperactive world. They were best friends. He had problems with alcohol and unhealthy relationships. She was one of his biggest cheerleaders. He was going to see if Dorothea would let him invite them to New Jersey.

Since he didn’t have his permission, he wasn’t going to tell them about the abuse Phoenix went through. They could see what he loved about them. They could visit them whenever they wanted. He would let them know that. Awesome. They laughed.

When they got home, they were met by Mike. What’s up? They went inside where Woody made his presence known. Meow. I’m starving! Phoenix told her he got it. She and Mike went to the living room and sat down.

He hated to ask but he needed a place to stay for a few days. What? Why? Wasn’t he living with Joe? Yeah, he was. They disagreed, so he left the apartment to give him space to cool down. What was the argument about? It was over chores. When Joe got angry, it was best to let him calm down than to poke the bear. Yeah, he could stay for as long as he needed. Thank you.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[vicioustoker]

very underrated scene

[kanansdume]

@gildatheplant via this post

I wanted to make this a whole new post rather than clog up the OP's notes on something that's not totally related, but I LOVED these tags!

I'm a huge personal believer in the idea that Anakin's master likely wouldn't have mattered much. He and Obi-Wan do clearly get along quite well, but he doesn't love Obi-Wan at all when Obi-Wan becomes his master. He barely knows Obi-Wan at all. So you could make the argument that he might have ended up equally as attached to whoever became his master, whether it was Obi-Wan, or Yoda, or Mace, or Luminara, or Shaak Ti, or Kit Fisto, or Plo Koon, or Quinlan Vos*. It wouldn't really matter.

Because yeah, Palpatine is the major cause of what Anakin becomes. Anakin's got issues, but they're issues the Jedi could probably help Anakin overcome if given the time and space to do so. It's Palpatine poisoning Anakin against their teachings that keeps him from being able to actually follow the teachings he preaches.

Note that I do NOT think Anakin would've ever made a good Jedi. But I think with proper training, Anakin would've been able to embody Jedi TEACHINGS: mindfulness, acceptance, compassion, etc.

And a LARGE part of that is removing him from Palpatine's presence.

Which wouldn't happen with any of the usual suspects when you see people wondering about alternative masters for Anakin. A lot of them are Council members which, prior to the war, meant that a lot of them probably spent a good amount of time on Coruscant. Which is where Palpatine spends his time, too.

Which means that, ironically, had Yoda and the Council just stuck to their guns about not letting Anakin into the Order and Obi-Wan left the Order to train Anakin the way he threatens to, Anakin might've been better off. Obi-Wan and Anakin either go back to Tatooine to deal with that situation and then go off traveling/training again, or they do their wanders early without immediately running back to Tatooine, or WHATEVER. But they probably don't stay on Coruscant that much if at all. Which takes him pretty far out of Palpatine's ability to manipulate Anakin.

There are also other Jedi that exist in Legends I think that tend to spend VERY little time on Coruscant.

Nico Diath, who apparently spends most of his time out in the Outer Rim FREEING SLAVES and who takes his own nephew as his Padawan.

Jon Antilles who ends up on so many undercover missions that he apparently just gets declared dead over and over again and no one ever really knows where he is until he pops up again. This seems like it would REALLY fuck with Palpatine's plans in the funniest possible way.

Anyway, I love that there's a component to Anakin's fall that shows that it's really NOT the master he gets that matters here. Because what happens to Anakin isn't ABOUT the Jedi. It's a combination of Anakin's own failures and Palpatine's manipulations. The Jedi do as much as they are capable of doing with the information and resources they have, and it's not enough. That's not on them. Nothing they did, nothing any alternative master did, would have made a difference. Anakin wouldn't have necessarily fallen faster OR slower, he wouldn't have been saved by any one particular master.

The only thing that would save him is just getting him out of Palpatine's vicinity. Which only happens through pure accident rather than any sort-of knowing choice made on the part of the Jedi.

As Jean-Luc Picard and Beyonce have told us, you can do everything right, work really hard and give everything you have, and still lose. It's not weakness, it's not failure. That's how life works.

*I am only excluding Qui-Gon here because Anakin DOES have a previous relationship with Qui-Gon that he could pull on. This would change their dynamic in a way that doesn't exist for anyone else, including Obi-Wan. This is not a commentary on whether Qui-Gon would've been a good or bad master for Anakin in general, just an acknowledgment that Anakin might've been MORE attached to Qui-Gon due to their more recent history together, and so he does not fit into this pattern or this argument.

[thevindicativevordan]

On Kong Kenan/Super-Man

It should've been him. He should've been the Superman of 5G/Future State/right now not Jon, and he should be the one getting an HBO Max series not Val. Hell he should be getting a movie!

God this dude is literally the best legacy character Superman has ever gotten, wholly his own person with his own lore and status quo while still building on the idea of "Superman". I am so pissed at DC for essentially just dropping him after his ongoing ended, what the hell Lee? You keep trying to make the Wildstorm characters happen, I need you to get my man Yang another Kenan book.

Have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about whether or not Kenan would be a worthwhile character. Yang's New 52 Superman run had been a disappointment to me overall, with only the the arc where Superman has underground wrestling matches against forgotten gods really sticking with me. Now he was introducing a brand new Superman? Didn't feel like he had "earned" that yet. But from the first issue I was hooked on this new character.

Kenan was unlike any other member of the Superfamily. He wasn't kind or sweet, he was an asshole! He was a bully! He was fantastic! Right from the start Kenan was set up to undergo a very different kind of character journey than the other members of the Superfamily. Empathy, humility, respect for people weaker than himself, these are all traits most heroes wearing the S-shield already posses by the time they first don the crest, but not Kenan.

Like all bullies he was even a bit of a coward himself at first, trying to bail on the experiment meant to give him Superman's powers right as it begins. After "saving" Lixin (the kid he bullies and steals lunch from every day) from Blue Condor he demands all the money Lixin has on him as payment. He's not courageous or selfless either at the start, Kenan is as much of an opposite of Superman as you can get short of being Bizarro. Learning the appeal of these traits formed the basis for his growth over the course of his series.

Seeing Yang bring in a lot of recognizable "Superman" elements in the series, but with a twist, was also great. Kenan is the one who bullies "Luo Lixin" rather than the traditional Clark/Lex friendship of Pre-Crisis and Birthright. Initially Kenan develops a crush on intrepid reporter for Primetime Shanghai, Laney Lan, but she dismisses him as too young and Kenan eventually ends up pursuing Avery Ho (Flash) instead. Baxi the Bat-Man of China has a similar relationship with Kenan as the traditional Superman/Batman in terms of being vitriolic best buds, however Baxi is the one who has the most respect for authority while Kenan is the rebel. Kenan is a part of the "Justice League of China" which does not meet with the approval of the already established Chinese superheroes, the Great Ten. That contrasts nicely with the good relationship the Justice Society and Justice League have, as well as seeing Yang lampshade the "Chinese copy" trope and incorporate that into his storytelling.

One of the funniest differences is how Kenan chooses to immediately reveal his identity as Super-Man to the world by taking off the compliance visor he was forced to wear, contrasting with Clark's choice to hide his identity. He was so eager to impress people that he never gave any thought to the danger he could put himself or his family in by revealing his identity until it was too late, something Clark is well aware of and has taken great pains to keep his identity secret. Was a missed opportunity for DC to have Kenan comment on Clark copying him for once when he outed himself under Bendis.

But one of the most poignant differences between Clark and Kenan is the gulf in separation between their relationship with their parents. Clark has a loving relationship with Ma and Pa Kent, trying to live up to their lessons as best he can. In contrast Kenan's mom was believed to have died in an airplane crash when he was just a child, and he never really knew her. His father was distant from him after that and the two weren't really close despite Kenan's attempts to impress him. So Kenan lacks that strong connection while still clearly loving both of them.

Pa Kent's death is one of the most tragic examples of Clark's love for his parents, and I've always been a fan of takes where Clark promises his father to fight for the powerless on Pa's deathbed. Kenan gets a similar scene at the start of his career, his dad "dies" (after being exposed as Flying General Dragon, a pro-democracy "supervillain" from the Chinese authorities perspective) and wants Kenan to promise he'll fight for Truth, Justice, and Democracy. But because Kenan's dad never really bonded with him, Kenan doesn't know what those mean, and can only promise that he never wants to see people die, something his father takes comfort in at least. In classic comic book fashion it's revealed that Dr. Omen, Kenan's "boss" and the one who gave him his powers, saved Kenan's father, because she is Kenan's mother! Kenan's relationship with his parents forms a lot of the crux of his character arc, and seeing how Yang utilizes the classic Superman concept of family kept the storytelling exciting.

Yang's brilliant exploration of the concept of "Superman" through the prism of Chinese culture was a great way to differentiate Kenan as well.

I absolutely freaking love how he tied to the concept of Qi to the S-shield in particular. Connecting the shape of the shield with the way Kenan has acquired his powers along the path of the Bagua (eight trigrams used in Taoism that represent the fundamental principles of reality), with his octagon S-shield outline representing all eight principles together, was mindblowing! So was the idea of restricting Kenan's access to his powers unless he was actually acting in a Superman manner, that tied his character growth to his power growth in an entertaining manner. There were so many characters and concepts that meshed Chinese and DC lore together, like how Emperor Super-Man was Kenan's "Doomsday", they even recreated that iconic dual kill shot! The Chinese Wonder Woman Peng Deilan, being based on the Chinese Legend of the White Snake! There was even some Korean mythology referenced with the Aqua-Man member of the JLC "Dragonson".

Yang also managed to do a Superman Blue/Superman Red story with Super-Man Yin/Super-Man Yang!

Shameful that it took me a while to realize what Gene Yang was doing but once I caught on I was touched. You can tell how much Yang loved Superman and his mythology, and how he was excited to incorporate as much from Clark as he could, while still using it in a way that was solidly Kenan's. And not just Superman's mythology, but the history and lore of the entire DC Universe. I-Ching got to be brought in, fleshed out, and used as Kenan's mentor! The "Yellow Peril" villain from Detective Comics #1, the comic DC gets its name from was brought in and revamped as I-Ching's twin brother All-Yang! Hats off to Yang for taking a racist caricature and attempting to make him into something more.

This series was a beautiful attempt by Gene Yang to build a space for Asian heroes and villains where they could be more than stereotypes, Kenan himself being a defiant mold-breaker in every regard as the complete opposite of most Asian characters in Western media (a jock, a bully, loves his dad but not on great terms with him, a powerhouse as a hero, etc). So much thought and hard work was poured into this by Yang and his team of artist collaborators.

Especially the costumes, man Kenan had so many great looks. From his starting outfit (which is my favorite Superman variant not worn by Clark himself), to the one with the Yin/Yang shield he acquired later on, to his Super-Man Yin & Super-Man Yang outfits, Kenan looked damn cool. Part of me is bummed they didn't go with the Chinese character shield they toyed around with, but I loved how Yang used the "s-shield" as a plot point, so I'm not too broken up over it.

All that great work Yang did to build that space up has been more or less forgotten sadly. It was nice to see Kenan in the DC Asian Month Celebration issue. Avery is going to be in Justice Incarnate at least (unsurprising considering she was created by Williamson). So fucking bummed that Superman Family Adventures cartoon didn't happen, they were going to have Kenan and John Henry Irons in it! Would've been a dream come true for me to see Irons in animation again, and Kenan making the jump to outside media! Maybe that would've encouraged DC to let Yang keep writing New Super-Man, or at least encouraged them to use him elsewhere instead of allowing him fall into Limbo.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what the future holds for Kenan. Jon is being pushed as Clark's replacement in the comics, with DC keeping all the other contenders such as Kon benched. Calvin is leading the Justice Incarnate team likely due to the upcoming Coates reboot that will make Clark black. Val will probably get something once Taylor leaves Jon's book or once they officially announce the HBO Max show is happening. So where does that leave Kenan, my new favorite PoC legacy hero? Currently my only hope is that Yang is working on something for DC involving him. Yang left Batman/Superman, where I was hoping to see a Baxi/Kenan team up, to go work on "exciting other opportunities" per his Twitter. So fingers crossed that there's something in the works for Kenan!

One day I hope he gets his day in the sun again.

[thecatspasta]

HELEN: “Fine. So if that’s all true… why? Why would I do any of that? What’s my actual motive?” JON: “I don’t think you even have one. It’s just what you are.” I have asked myself this question so many times. And I’ve come to the same conclusion. There is no grand motive behind that. Just doing it over and over again, torturing others, they like that. The feeling of being able to make a person so submissive, so obedient that they will do everything to stay your friend. 

The distortion has always been like that and it was so skilled at making you think it has other motives. Remember in mag92 when Jon asked "What about Michael?" and Elias just immediately goes "What about him? He's just bored."

The distortion does things because it wants to. Not to help, not to anything. Just to confuse. Just to trick. It will only ever do things that will help itself and nothing else. Helen laughed when Jon asked for help because it would help her. Helen took over Michael because the distortion got bored of that plaything and threw it out.

Helen and Michael are not people, they are masks, they are facades. They have their own wants and desires filtered through the distortion and when it gets bored of them it throws them out and replaces them.

I love both of them so much (helen is my wife, all my friends have seen me simp over her), they are such good parts of the spiral (which btw, is the scariest entities of all of them, I will write this essay someday) they are literally the funniest and best characters in the series, but they are not people. They are door monsters who are here to feed on you.

It is meant to confuse you, run circles around you till you can't think straight, until it got sloppy. And there was no replacement to come hide behind a new door.

MAG 187 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: taking a bath.

Lol, that elevator music xD

HELEN: “So, where’s the old ball and chain?” Fucking Helen… Always talking about others in a degrading way… Also typical narcissistic behavior, pushing others down in order to feel like they’re better.

JON: “You hoped that by nudging us past his domain, Martin would still be there when I arrived… so I would have to pass through on my own. Apparently, you were right.” HELEN: “I thought you said you weren’t going to look inside people’s heads?” JON: “I thought you said you weren’t people.” HELEN: “Touché.” JON: “Well, for what it’s worth, I have tried not to look inside you.” By now Jon has seen enough of the Distortion’s behavior as Helen, it has become easy to predict what she’s up to.

Keep reading

[shasta-reese]

Finale (good) thoughts

In the light of trying not to dwell on the things that didn't happen in the finale. I'd like to talk about the things that I did like about the finale. I'm not doing this in chronological order so it'll be jumping around a little bit, sorry, but here ya go:

- Lena and Lillian having one genuine moment was nice. Lil of a bittersweet ending cuz y'know Lillian died, would've been nice if she lived and spent the rest of her life making it up to Lena for giving her a shitty childhood, but I digress I feel okay with how they closed Lillian's arc because aside from Lillian's questionable parenting choices you cannot deny that she does (in her own twisted way) love her children

- Loved that despite Nyxly being so driven and willing to do almost anything to get the All Stone, she is NOT gonna harm an innocent child in order to to so. It's nice when even villains have a line they won't cross (*cough* unlike Lex *cough*)

- Again with Lena being Kara's humanity and trying to get her to see reason, love that for us (Kara still almost went through with the sun thing but she didn't in the end)

- So glad that they finally got rid of Lex, although I would've rather he be actually dead cuz then he'd definitely not appear again but being sent to the Phantom Zone by essentially himself is doable. (don't get me wrong I love Jon Cryer's portrayal of Lex but his arc should've ended in Season 4 when Lena shot him dead)

- CAT GRANT. Definitely a highlight of the finale, her buying CatCo back and making Kara editor-in-chief is such a fanfic moment. I absolutely loved that it became canon.

- Obviously the Dansen wedding was so wonderful. The vows were beautiful. Loved the version Canada got cuz it had extra scenes that include Lena becoming Esme's godmother, the extended Kara/Lena conversation just felt more complete, that lil bonding moment Esme and James had was nice, and the implication of a definite Brainia wedding was the best. Azie and Chyler being technically legally married cuz David Harewood is a certified officiant has got to be the funniest bts fact I've heard lol

- BRAINIA ENDGAME. God I knew they probably weren't gonna make Brainy leave but fuck I was so scared that they were gonna do that. Nia and Brainy just deserve all the good things, their relationship has not been easy and I'm glad that they can finally have their happy ever after.

- Honestly I knew that SC had a very, very, very low chance of happening and I am upset that they didn't go through with it but what we got was better than what I was expected (which wasn't much let's be honest here, we were all hoping for bare minimum). I feel like if they didn't force in the word "friendship" and "friend" into the dialogue it would've been a very good open ending for SC to potentially be more in the future. But nonetheless that scene was still great, Lena being the one to talk to Kara about being herself and who she wants to be was a great choice that highlights how both their character arcs parallel each other. And just how much they've grown with each other since they met. Because at the end of the day Lena and Kara are each others person and each others most significant relationship. And even though we didn't get official endgame with them, in a way we still did because we've been reassured that no matter what happens these two will always be there for each other.

- And the very last scene of Cat Grant introducing Kara Zor-el just made me feel so much. I love that Cat Grant was the one who essentially introduced Supergirl to the world is doing it once again but with Kara being her true self just made me emotional. Especially with that final shot of Kara smiling just fucked me up so bad (in a good way)

I have made many critiques about Supergirl throughout its run but I am genuinely sad to say goodbye to these characters that I've come to love so much. This is the first fandom that I've truly interacted with and I can't express how much it means to have been a part of this (no matter how small), this fandom like many has of course seen bad times but there is also so much good and I wanna hold onto those. Just like the show. Despite the plotholes and infuriating moments of this show, I will always remember the characters that have changed my life and I am forever grateful for the actors and actresses who brought these characters to life. And I am grateful for the actresses who fought so hard for these characters because they knew how important these character meant to us. So just for a short moment I wanna hold on to those good things and moments. I'll probably post a full critique of the finale but just for a moment I wanna remember the good among the bad. That's all.

Goodbye, for now.

[argelladurrandaun]

Lol jonsas came up with the most laughable crack of crack wish that arya will somehow kill dany because they hate the fact that arya and dany stans get along. So they want to turn them against each other 😂. Which is only something derangerd jonsas would do.

Its so convenient for them that it would kill two birds with one stone. Dany will die and arya will go travelling. Jonsas problems solved. Its so fucking pathetic. But funny how they agree that the only way sansa could become relevant 'queen' is if both dany and arya are either dead or gone. Also the only way jon would ever give her any time of the day is if arya and dany are no longer in the picture. So they agree that arya and dany are superior to sansa. Otherwise why would they so vehemantly wish for their death?

This 'theory' has absolutely no rhyme or reason to it. Why does it sound like ramblings of jealous karens threatened by these two powerful female characters? possibly becoming friends?

The funniest part is they never give a reason 'why' arya would possibly want to kill dany? Especially given that dany is a person arya would admire . And want to be like, actually she is like. Not to mention dany and her dragons is the only thing standing between white walkers and humans. Also Dany is exactly the ruler arya wishes to see.

They killed the slaves. That did not seem right to her. They should have killed the masters.

Dany is doing exactly that.

They are both the Noble pricesses and the only nobles who care for the oppressed slaves and smallfolk. And wants to do something for them. When all other nobles only care for themselves.

Dany and arya think the same way. Their morals, ethics and value system is the same.

“Woman?” She chuckled. “Is that meant to insult me? (dany)

+

The woman is important too. (arya)

Also their nature is very similar . They both have a quirky fun loving pesonality. And they both 'willful' girls. Their femininity is different from the stoic staight faced femininity decteted by the society. Thats why they would both understand each other. And if they meet they have great chances of becoming friends.

Im sure i am forgetting a thousand other similarities but my point is, thats why the same people who stan arya also stan dany. And the same people who stan dany also stan arya. Because they are very similar characters. It has nothing to do with sansa and her stans.

Im sure sansa stans are forgetting that arya and sansa are foils, opposites and have a very different and opposing views and opinions of people. So if sansa doesn't like dany only means that arya would absolutely love her. And so would jon since he and dany are also very similar. I don't believe that fanfiction of an ending which is an insult to dany and jons character.

Also arya is not sansas servant and neither are jon and brienne. A/c to jonsas arya has to be on sansas side because they are 'sisters', no matter sansas behaviour. (also notice how their pathetic 'fav' cant even kill her own 'supposed' enemies herself and for arya thats all they reduce her character to be, killing, specially sansas enemies, yikes and then they claim to lOvE arya, and claim that they don't hate dany only want her dead, sure jan) Only thats not the case for asoiaf. In which its very clear family can be toxic too. And its not necessary that family always have your best interest. And thats definitely not the case for sansa and arya who has always been antagonistic towards each other.

Arya always takes the side of what is right. Even if that means going against her sister. Which has happened before many times. Including the trident incident where arya decided to be on mycas side and not her sisters. Arya has a mind of her own. And she always takes her own decisions. Jon has a mind of his own. So no arya or jon wont kill dany just because sansa doesn't like her or sansa asked them to.