#job hunting is the plague of my life atm
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November is almost over, I will definitely Not finish writing the missing scenes + editing That Damn NaNo tonight, plus I'm stuck on a piece of detail oh help me General Tumblrobi you're my only hope.
You know how at the beginning of the series Dave used his mafia connections to get Richard a job as a bouncer in Bag O' Dicks Zenkova's strip club? Do you think that in a slight AU Dave could ask the Holy Father to get his poor-social-skills, skinny, one-armed, don't-ask-what-he-did-for-the-last-ten-years and please don't ask what-he-did-with-that-college-friend-of-his either, a job? I raked my brain for ideas but I simply don't know if and what the Family could offer. Anyone got an idea please? even a bad one? even a stupid one? I'm open to anything, it'll always be better than nothing! Bonus points if it involves Howard somehow being forced to work with Harry, it would be hilarious. I don't know if I can handle him being forced to work with Milo (it would be horrible and entertaining but probably above my writing skills?)
#lastman#malu aligne des mots#malu dit n'importe quoi#job hunting is the plague of my life atm#and it's crawling into my writing too WHY#fishing for ideas#that damn AU#the plot clumpens#bag o' dicks (affectionate)
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Favorite Reads of 2020
I take back everything I said last year about how 2019 was a comparatively bad reading year for me. 2020 was even worse. I only read 48 books, I could barely focus on reading even when I did find a book I liked, and, just like last year, I ended up with fewer favorites than usual. Starting in August I’ve been having trouble reading any written media that isn’t TOG fic. And some of my eagerly awaited releases by favorite authors ended up being disappointments (Deeplight by Frances Hardinge and Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee).
2020—the year that keeps on giving.
I sincerely hope 2021 will be a better year in all respects, including my reading habits, but, as with everything else, who knows.
Regardless, here’s my list of favorite reads of 2020, in chronological order of when I read them:
Network Effect by Martha Wells
I’d read the first four Murderbot Diaries novellas when they first came out and enjoyed them, but I didn’t fall head-over-heels in love with them. Maybe because they were novellas, and too short to get fully invested? Possibly. As it turns out, Network Effect is the novel-length fifth entry in the Murderbot Diaries that turned me into full-on squeeing fan—SecUnit, aka Murderbot, continues to be its delightfully acerbic, antisocial self, SPOILER makes another appearance and oh how I’d missed this character, the supporting cast is fun and endearing, and the novel-length story means there’s time and space for the brand-new corporate espionage/colonization/alien civilization murder mystery to unfold and spread its wings. (Sounds like a Sanctuary Moon plot tbh). SecUnit is possibly my favorite non-human fictional character atm, and I am now fully on-board for every and any new story in the series.
This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone
When I first heard about this book and read the words “time travel romance”, I immediately went, “Nope, not gonna read.” I don’t like reading time travel stories, and honestly, I was imagining it to be something like The Time Traveler’s Wife, which granted I haven’t read but also sounds like it’d be the opposite of my cup of tea.
And then I went to a reading where Amal and Max took turns reading chapters – letters written by Red and Blue, enemy agents who repeatedly taunt and thwart the other’s plans to ensure their side is the one to win the time war and who can’t resist smugly outlining just how they’re staying one step ahead of the other – and the prose was witty and gorgeous and clever and intricate, and Red and Blue were snarky and arrogant and talented and fun. I had to read it. And I ended up loving it, this enemies-to-lovers story that is a meld of fantasy and science fiction such that they’re indistinguishable from the other, where the past is as equally fantastical and alien and imaginary as the future, where Red and Blue’s power play transforms into something different and scarier and more intimate than either of them imagined.
To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers
Becky Chambers has done it again, writing a gentle, hopeful story about humans working together out of a share a love and fascination for scientific exploration and wonder for all the possibilities the entirety of space can hold. With the advent of both space travel and technology that alters human physiology to allow them to survive otherwise inhospitable environments, a team of four astronauts and scientists have embarked on a mission to ecologically survey four distant planets and the life forms that inhabit them, from the microscopic to the multicellular—not to conquer, but to record and to learn and to share the gathered knowledge with the rest of Earth. In the meantime, lightyears away, Earth is going through decades without them, and the four of them must also contend with a planet that may have forgotten their existence—or that’s abandoned the entire space and scientific exploration program.
Reading Becky Chambers is the literary equivalent of sitting down with a warm mug of my favorite tea on a bad day – I always feel better at the end and like I can imagine a future where humanity does all the wonderful things we’re capable of doing.
A Song for a New Day by Sarah Pinsker
I started reading this book right as NYC was gearing up to go into lockdown, which should have made this a terrible choice to continue reading since part of the premise is that a combo of multiple stochastic terror attacks and a brand-new, deadly plague upend the world as everyone knows it by causing the U.S. to pass laws that keep people physically apart in public for their own safety and make concerts, theatre, and any other kind of artistic gathering obsolete.
But that’s largely just the set-up, and the real story is that of Luce Cannon, an up-and-coming singer-songwriter who played the last major concert in the before times who twenty years later performs in illegal underground concerts, and Rosemary, a younger music-lover who’s only lived in the after-times, and who’s taken a new job scouting out talent to add to the premier virtual entertainment company’s roster of simulated concerts.
It’s a love letter to live music and what it feels like to connect and build community via music in unusual and strange and scary times, the energy involved in making music for yourself, for an audience, exploring the world around you, imagining and advocating for a better tomorrow, and embracing the fear, the possibility, and the power of change, both good and bad. This was the book I needed to read at the beginning of the pandemic, and I’m thankful I ended up doing so.
The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2019 edited by John Joseph Adams and Carmen Maria Machado
When I end up loving half of the stories in an anthology and greatly enjoying all but two of the rest, that’s the equivalent of a literary blue moon for me. My favorites included the following;
"Pitcher Plant" by Adam-Troy Castro
"Six Hangings in the Land of Unkillable Women" by Theodore McCombs
"Variations on a Theme from Turandot" by Ada Hoffmann
"Sister Rosetta Tharpe and Memphis Minnie Sing the Stumps Down Good" by LaShawn M. Wanak
"The Kite Maker" by Brenda Peynado
"The Secret Lives of the Nine Negro Teeth of George Washington" by P. Djèlí Clark
"Dead Air" by Nino Cipri
"Skinned" by Lesley Nneka Arimah
"Godmeat" by Martin Cahill
"On the Day You Spend Forever with Your Dog" by Adam R. Shannon
Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
No one is more surprised than me that Harrow is on this list, given that I am one of approximately three people in the universe who did not unequivocally love Gideon the Ninth.
And yet the sequel worked for me.
Maybe because this time I already knew and was used to the way the world and the Houses worked, and I knew to not take anything I read for granted because I could be guaranteed to have the rug pulled out from under me without even realizing. Maybe Harrow’s countdown/amnesia mystery worked better for me than Gideon’s locked room mystery. Maybe the cast of characters was more manageable and fewer of them were getting murdered left and right before I got a chance to get used to them (and some of them even came back!) Maybe it’s that Harrow blew open the potential and possibilities Gideon hinted at and capitalized on just how fucking weird and mind-blowing the whole premise is in a way that felt incredibly and viscerally satisfying.
Also SPOILER happens three-quarters of the way through. That was pretty fucking awesome.
Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark
P. Djélí Clark is a master of melding history and fantasy in ways that are in turn imaginative and clever (his fantastical alternate-history, early 20th-century Egyptian novel A Master of Djinn is one of the books I’m most looking forward to in 2021), while also using fantasy to be frank and incisive about the history of American antiblack racism (as in the above linked story in The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2019). Ring Shout combines the late-nineteenth and early 20th-century history of the rise and normalization of the KKK with Lovecraftian supernatural horror, in which the release of The Birth of a Nation summoned literal monsters (called Ku Kluxes) that became part of the KKK’s ranks. Maryse Boudreaux is a Black woman who’s part of a grassroots organization hunting both the monsters and the human members in order to keep the Klan at bay. However, there’s soon to be another summoning ritual atop Stone Mountain that will unleash even more Ku Kluxes into the world, and Maryse and her friends are running out of time to prevent it from happening.
Maryse is a fantastic character, as are her two friends—brash, unapologetic Sadie and WWI veteran, weapons expert Chef—her mentor and leader of the Ring Shout group Nana Jean, and all the other members of the group who work and fight together as a team and a family. Maryse’s past and the journey she goes on in the book to uncover the truth and stop the summoning is harrowing and heart-stopping, the supernatural elements are both horrific in and of themselves while also undergirding the real-life horror of the KKK and the hatred they engender. It’s smart, it’s fun, it’s eye-opening, and it’s also being turned into a TV show starring KiKi Layne. It’s really, really good.
The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley
“Stick to the brief.” This is the maxim given to Dietz and all the other soldiers who join the war against Mars, where soldiers are broken down into light to travel to and from their assigned battlefields instantaneously. Only Dietz isn’t experiencing the jumps like everyone else – Dietz, like Billy Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse-Five, has become unstuck in time and is experiencing all the battles in the mission briefs out of chronological order, to the point that Dietz starts to build a picture of a war and a reality that’s been sold to Dietz and everyone else on Earth as pure fiction.
I’ve always appreciated Kameron Hurley’s stories, but this is the first book where she fully succeeded at writing the book she set out to write—it’s fast-paced science fiction thriller in the form of a loaded gun that takes brutal aim at late-stage capitalism, modern military warfare and the dehumanization of everyone involved on all sides, the greed of ungovernable governing corporations, nationalistic and military propaganda, the mythology of citizenship and inalienable rights, and it’s viscerally bloody and violent without being grotesque in the way all of Kameron Hurley’s books are. Especially important for me, I loved that Dietz went through the entire book not being gendered in any way, shape, or form (those last five pages didn’t exist, what are you talking about), and I love in general that Kameron Hurley is committed to writing non-male characters who aren’t less violent or fucked-up or morally superior to men just because they’re not men.
Other Words for Home by Jasmine Warga
Middle grade is a hard sell for me these days, as are books in verse, and I wouldn’t have known this book existed if it weren’t for the Ignyte Award nomination list earlier this year. As it turns out, this book, the story of Jude, a pre-teen girl who wants to be an actress who leaves Syria and the encroaching civil war with her mom to go live in the U.S. with her uncle and his white wife and their daughter while her dad and older brother stay behind, is full of beauty, curiosity, humor, confusion, grief, pain, and joy, and the poetic prose is both lyrical, nuanced, and perfectly fitted to Jude’s voice. I devoured this book in one day, which is the quickest amount of time it took me to read any book this year, including novellas.
Darius the Great Deserves Better by Adib Khorram
The first book Darius the Great Is Not Okay was one of my favorite books in 2018, and I’m ecstatic that the sequel is equally as amazing.
It’s been approximately half a year since Darius went to Iran, met his maternal grandparents in person for the first time, and found his best friend in Sohrab, and in that time he’s come out as gay, joined the soccer team, got an internship at his favorite tea shop, and started dating for the first time. Darius is also working through some things though—when and if he wants to have sex with his boyfriend, his grandfather’s worsening illness, his dad’s recent depressive episode, his emotionally distant paternal grandmothers on his coming for an extended stay, the fact that he’s getting to know and growing closer with one of his teammates who’s best friends with Darius’s years-long bully, and a bunch else.
Darius the Great Deserves Better has the same tender and vulnerable emotional intimacy as the first book, more conversations over tea, new instances involving the mortifying ordeal of being a cis guy with a penis, even more Star Trek metaphors, and so much growth for Darius as he works through a lot of hard situations and feelings, and strengthens his relationships with all of the people in his life he loves and cares about. I can’t think of any other book that’s like these two books, and I love and treasure them dearly.
The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson
I had zero awareness of this book until a bunch of SFF authors started praising it on Twitter a couple months before the release date, and I was intrigued enough to get a copy from the library. I loved this book. I happened to be reading it right at the time of the presidential election, and it phenomenally served the purpose of desperately-needed distraction from the agony of waiting out the ballot counts.
It’s book about the power behind borders, citizenship, exploitation, and imperialism, set in a late-late-stage capitalist future, in which a prodigy invented the means to access and travel to slightly divergent parallel universes to grab resources and data – but only if the other universe’s version of “you” isn’t there. It’s the story of a woman named Cara – poor, brown, born in the wastelands outside the shelter, security, and citizenship privileges of Wiley City – who’s comfortably employed to travel to all the parallel worlds no one else can visit, because all her counterparts in those worlds are dead from one of the myriad ways Cara herself could have died growing up. It’s the story of Cara traversing the muddied boundaries between her old life and her new one, the similarities and differences between her own life and that of her counterparts, as well as the figures of power who defined and shaped her and her counterparts’ existences, and solving a mystery involving the unexplained deaths of several of her counterparts and the man who invented multiverse technology.
It’s a story of the permeability of selfhood and self-determination, and complexity of power dynamics of all kinds – interpersonal, familial, collegial, intimate – and the interplay between violence and stability and identity, and how one can be both powerful and powerless in the same dynamic. It’s a story with literary sensibilities that is unequivocally science fiction, written with laser-precise prose that flays Cara open and puts her back together again.
I worry this description makes this book sound dry and removed when reading this book made me feel like I was coming alive every time I delved back into it. This is a book I cannot wait to reread again to experience the brilliance and skill and thoughtfulness and emotion of Micaiah Johnson’s writing. I have no clue what, if anything, she’s writing next, but I have a new favorite author.
Honorable Mentions
Catfishing on CatNet by Naomi Kritzer
With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo
The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo
Stormsong by C. L. Polk
The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin
Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather
Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh
The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djèlí Clark
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke (I feel bad putting it here and not in the first list – it is undeniably a modern classic and a brilliantly crafted book! But I had zero interest in any of the Italy chapters, and I found the way he finally figured out how to access fairy magic by essentially making himself mad to be both disappointing and narratively unsatisfying.)
War Girls by Tochi Onyebuchi
For my yearly stats on books written by POC authors, in 2020 I read a total of 24 books (one of which was co-authored by a white author), which is fewer than last year (30). However, because I also read fewer books this year overall, this is the first year ever that I achieved exactly 50-50 parity between books written by POC and white authors. I honestly wasn’t expecting this to happen, as I stopped paying deliberate attention somewhere around April or May. Looking over my Goodreads, the month of September ended up doing a lot of heavy lifting, since that’s when I read several books by POC authors in a row for the Ignyte Award nomination period. But also, it does look like the five or so years of purposefully aiming for 50-50 parity have materially affected my reading habits, by which I mean even when I’m not keeping my year’s count in mind, I’m still more likely to pick up a book by a POC author than I was five years ago when I had never kept track at all. My goal for next year is to once again achieve 50-50 parity and to not backslide.
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A MULTI MUSE SURVEY.
tagged by: @ourdawncomes tagging: @dirtharaxma
CANON MUSES. For the purposes of this meme (because I only have Andruil as a canon muse), I’ll be counting Sezja (Hero of Ferelden) and Zsofika (Inquisitor) as “canon” muses.
name of your favorite muse: I... technically only have Andruil, for canon muses, and she’s mostly an OC. My favorite canon muse outside of this blog has to be @skysteelsun, Stephanivien de Haillenarte from FFXIV’s Machinist job quests.
name of your very first muse: My very first canon DA muse was actually Evangeline from Asunder! Her blog still exists, actually, though I obviously don’t use it anymore. My first ever canon muse wasssss oh god I don’t even know. Garland from FFIX, probably.
name of your meanest muse: Andruil did sort of hunt her people for sport. And spread a plague that may or may not have been a precursor to the Blight.
name of your nicest muse: Sezja is ever-so-slightly nicer than Zsofika, if only because Zsofika is less forgiving.
name of your most troubled muse: Andruil. By a landslide.
character you have the most muse for atm: I’ve been toying with a lot of Andruil headcanons and ideas in the cooler at work lately, so arguably her.
two of your muses that would never get along: Neither Sezja nor Zsofika would get along with Andruil at all.
two of your muses that could be best friends: Sezja and Zsofika could be great friends; Sezja would love Zsofika’s kids.
two of your muses that would make a cute couple: Of the three of them, none at all. Sezja and Zsofika could play-flirt, but ultimately it’s not a relationship that would work out.
two of your muses that are most similar: Again, Sezja and Zsofika are both cool-headed under the weight of the world, and both never let the power and influence go to their heads. Both just want a quiet life when all is said and done - and they both know that isn’t likely to happen.
name of the muse you’d be best friends with irl: Zsofika, probably.
name of the muse you’d probably hate irl: Andruil, though the feeling is mutual. I’d just be prey.
a faceclaim you’ve been eager to use: I actively hate face claims as a concept.
OC MUSES.
name of your favorite muse: It’s always gonna be Kuja.
name of your very first muse: My first OC in this fandom was Ethial, Dirthamen’s high priest, the one who gets dismembered and reassembled for the Lost Temple of Dirthamen quest. I still love him. I’ve considered going back to his blog or putting him on this blog instead.
name of your meanest muse: Of the bunch I have here, it’s... probably Neirin? He’s not malicious, but he is extraordinarily self-centered.
name of your nicest muse: Halan is a gentle soft sweetheart who doesn’t deserve half the shit I put them through.
name of your most troubled muse: Kuja, in a big way, in every universe I’ve dropped him in.
character you have the most muse for atm: Uhhhh... Darcy? Darcy or Kuja, but I always have muse for Kuja, as he is of course my son.
two of your muses that would never get along: The easy answer is “Neirin and anyone but Kuja,” but realistically I think Neirin and Halan would drive each other up the wall.
two of your muses that could be best friends: Halan is Sulahn’s First, so they are good friends, despite their age difference.
two of your muses that would make a cute couple: Uhhhh... Darcy and Neirin could be a cute couple, but I’m not sure anyone would survive the two of them in one room for long.
two of your muses that are most similar: Kuja and Sulahn, oddly enough. They’re both very self-contained and quiet - though Sulahn sings a great deal, of course, she does not speak much, and when she does, she reveals little about herself. Kuja is much the same: he can get people to talk about themselves, and encourages them to lean on him, but will not open up if he can help it.
name of the muse you’d be best friends with irl: Kuja, probably.
name of the muse you’d probably hate irl: Darcy and Neirin would drive me insane. I’d also probably find Halan frustrating.
a faceclaim you’ve been eager to use: Again, hate ‘em on principle.
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I was going through my files and I came over this document I sent to my friend @distant-rain pretty much the same day I realized I had fallen in love with Arthur, after weeks of being in denial or shrugging off my daydreaming of this cowboy as nbd or thought experiments and boy was I confused.
I knew next to nothing about RDR1 when I wrote this December last year and I didn’t know much about RDR2 post chapter 2 either except for Arthur’s fate, which I had just learned of, and oml was I upset and confused. Though also scaringly accurate about certain things.
Now over six months later, I love this cowboy even more. And I kept true to my word. If anyone wanna read the rambings of a fangirl who had just found her new obsession be my guest.
I was blown away by how massive this game is. The level of detail is incredible and I greatly appreciate the effort put into creating this world. Yeah, we’ve all heard about the horse testicles shrinking in cold weather but it’s not like it’s just one bizarre detail being essentially a dick joke in an otherwise average game. No, RDR2 is detailed enough that it actually makes sense to add in peculiarities like that. The amount of wildlife alone, I mean, ever since the PS2 era I’ve been used to seeing animals in games but R* created whole-ass ecosystems in RDR2, several of’em, from snowy mountains to marshlands, with animals that act so much like actual animals. Just listening to the birds singing, it’s like being out in an actual forest!
Characterization is another thing that amazed me, in particular the protagonist. I knew nothing about the first RDR when started playing RDR2, nor did I know anything about RDR in general other than it was western-themed and made by the GTA-guys. I expected somewhat of a similar characterization as GTA where every character is a stereotype or a caricature. I genuinely liked GTAV’s story for what it was and even though every character was more or less an asshole, some of them were also weirdly likeable and even earned my sympathy (and hint of affection) occasionally.
But it never really went deeper than that nor was it particularly long-lasting (still way more than I expected tho). I bonded with one of the characters more than I thought I would but not nearly as much as I would had the characters felt more like actual humans and not like the epitome of stereotypes. But it is what R* wanted and it worked. I expected the RDR2 characters to be the same but to my surprise the characters, especially Arthur, are fleshed out, complex, even relatable (depending on your actions I guess). Unlike GTAV, they act and react like actual human beings. Well, human beings that have lived their entire life (more or less) as outlaws. In a country and time period foreign to me. But still they felt human. Ofc I’ve not gotten to know any of the NPC’s as well as Arthur but from various missions and eavesdropping on their conversation I’ve gotten to know them a bit. Hosea is my favorite. He seems like a good man despite being an outlaw and I love how everyone goes to him for advice and how supportive he is. I also wish more people (esp a certain Dutch man) could listen to him more. I also really like Charles. He definitely got morals and could be a good influence on Arthur and the others. I haven’t seen much of Sadie yet, but think I’ll like her too. Lenny seems nice. That one scene when he and Arthur went out drinking together was absolutely brilliant! And lil Jack’s adorable ofc. Only one I don’t like is Micha or Miach or whathisname. I know no one in the van der Linde gang are saints but that guy is a total psychopath. I kinda wish Arthur had gotten his way there when he said they should just leave him in jail as he was nothing but trouble and it annoys me how Dutch is sticking up for him. Yeah, speaking of, not too fond of Dutch or that German guy either atm.
But all in all very impressed by the large open world, the level of details to well, everything and the characterization. Soundtrack is great, graphics are stunning, animations smooth, the horse-riding simulation is just extraordinary and you never know what’s gonna happen as you ride through the map. The amount and variety of random events and encounters are truly impressive. Often comical, like that wildlife photographer who keeps getting almost eaten up by the wildlife he’s trying to document, sometimes eerie like the serial killer side story, or sad like when Arthur met with his former love. Or a combination of said elements like the pig farmers I ran into. With no pigs. But were still veeery well fed. You know, when people are just a liiitle bit too friendly? That eerie feeling you get when you just know something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until you can. I thought they were husband and wife I really did. You shoulda seen my face when I realized they were in fact brother and sister. Me and Arthur had the exact same face. They were living as husband and wife tho. Well, up until I killed them.
I also love the contrast between the more ‘modern’ world and the simpler life. I could go into town, buy food at the saloon and rent a room or take a bath at the hotel. Or I could ride a few mins out into the wilderness, hunt and gather my own food, cook it over a bonfire and sleep under the stars. Electricity exists, but people are still completely dependent on oil lamps and open flame. Trains and trams exist, cars have been invented, but people still mainly travel on horseback. This contrast between old and new as an era is ending and the modern era is about to begin has been an amazing experience considering the level of detail the game has. The colonization of the new land, which has been largely unknown to me, the contrast between this and modern-day America we see on TV. So many people did not even speak English, I often find abandoned buildings, or burnt-down buildings, some with bodies inside, leaving me wondering what happened to them, I found a ghost town whose inhabitants had been wiped out by a plague. It was tough for many I reckon.
In fact, I find the exploration of this foreign but also somewhat familiar, beautiful but harsh world and its many random events and encounters waaay more interesting than the actual main story itself, which is why it took me forever to reach chapter 3. In fact, the story is probably my least favorite part about RDR2, as backwards as it may sound. I’ve never been into western stories or aesthetics, and I’m certainly NOT into the whole ‘outlaws till the end’ stuff ugh. I fail to sympathize with the whole ‘boo-hoo the world no want outlaws like us no more it’s unfair’. Ugh, go cry me a fucking river. And then go get a job. A real job. Yeah, I get it that adapting to society is tough, life’s tough deal with it and stop preying on others. Wow, robbing two trains in short time and staying in the same fucking area actually has consequences, I’m so shook!
So yeah, story-wise I don’t quite ‘get it’ and Dutch is really starting to get on my nerves, which is probably why I prefer to just ride off alone and experience the world. I guess RDR2 story will rely heavily on being torn between gang loyalty and your own morality and principles but since I have virtually no concept of group loyalty that is all lost on me. My own morals and principles all the way. I’m like, ‘these people suck, take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly (maybe John Marston and his family) and leave these bitches behind’.
At the beginning, I did kinda liked Dutch. He seemed genuinely sorry for Sadie, took her in and saved her life, even if it meant another mouth to feed in dire times. And he showed Kiran mercy despite hating the O’Driscol’s. But as I’ve progressed thought the game, his grand speeches about sticking together, sticking with him, slowly but surely has turned from pep-talk to keep people’s spirit up to sounding like a cult leader desperate to keep his following no matter the cost. Yesterday when I was playing, I overheard him quote some quasi-philosophy book to Lenny and used the words to twist them into his own convictions to support his decisions. And when Lenny objected, Dutch literally said ‘you’re breaking my heart, kid’. Wow Dutch, talk about manipulating your protégé.
It was the mission when those lawmen approached Arthur as he was fishing with Jack that really made me consciously see Dutch in a new light. Up until then, RDR2 had mostly been fun and games but that conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. But I just figured it was the main story finally picking up pace and also, I figured I was near the end of the chapter. I carried on, suddenly eager to see what would happen and was thoroughly surprised by how the chapter ended. In a bad way.
While both chapter 2 and chapter 3 begins with a ‘new start’ vibe, chapter 3 felt very different from chapter 2. Mostly it was that feeling that Dutch’s obsession with ‘sticking to this life’ is going to get people killed. Idk, it’s this eerie feeling something’s wrong but can’t quite put my finger on it-feel again. But thanks to internet being internet I already knew some spoilers so I couldn’t help but to look up something and… well, let me put it this way. I’m never going to finish this game. Ever. It breaks my heart because in so many ways it’s truly an amazing game and a fantastic experience. But I’m just not that into the story, I don’t like where it’s heading and I don’t want to see what’s coming to character(s) I’ve come to care deeply about.
I still want to explore the world more, see what unfolds, do more challenges, add stuff to my compendium, maybe get some trophies… but I doubt I’ll ever progress much story-wise. Quite the contrary, I might reload an earlier save and just stay in chapter 2 forever.
(wrtten a couple of days later)
Seems my instincts was right on the money, esp concerning Dutch. Sad thing, I do believe he is sincere. In the first few chapters at least. He is manipulative but I also believe he’s convinced himself that he’s doing the right thing. And then his obsession will eventually get the better of him and when people and the lifestyle is slipping away from him, he doesn’t handle it well at all. Ugh, it’s so frustrating, I just wanna gather all my favs and yell: “leave nooow, before it’s too late!
It’s not for the sake of spacing it out or making it last. I just don’t want to progress in the story at all. I hated losing Horseshoe Overlook. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!!! Yes the new place is beautiful, yes I know it’s the life of the outlaws and RDR2 does show that life for better and for worse whereas most stories tend to romanticize the whole thing, yes as outlaws they can’t stay for too long in one place. But as mentioned I have a hard time sympathize with and immerse myself into that lifestyle. Yes, I got all my upgrades and a whole new area to explore, a bigger nearby town, and closer to that big city. Still hated it. Horseshoe Overlook was my place. The Heartlands was home. And the view was stunning! And I liked Valentine. It was small and dirty but I had good memories from there. Until I had to shoot up half the town. My motivation for continuing the main story is at absolute zero.
It was more what the transition represented, I guess. You never know what will happen in RDR2. And it’s true, for random encounters, and many of the individual missions. But when it comes to the story as a whole, I feel like I already now can predict how it’ll play out. Every chapter begins with the gang on the move, finding a place to settle down and have a fresh start, even chapter 1 (as they were on the run bc a heist gone wrong or something). Then they settle down, go into town to get to know the area and establish connections and looking for easy money, often at the expenses of others. X random events later, they get too overconfident or careless, screws up or get hunted down, it ends with a shootout, then they are on the run again, finds a new place to settle down where Dutch promises that THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT until they’re wanted on the entire map and can’t go anywhere cos the wild west is ending. I really liked it at Horseshoe Overlook and whenever Im in that area again I’ll just get sad.
I had no idea I’d gotten so emotionally invested so I was really surprised at how much I disliked moving camps and all. I’ve also gotten so fond of Arthur. I was so busy with exploring, doing challenges, learning to hunt etc I didn’t even realize it happening. Until one scene had me almost tearing up! I think because, we as the player really have to look out for him. Even though I make sure that he eats regularly, he’s still underweight. When out riding I usually set up camp when night falls so that Arthur can get some rest. Something I’d never think about in any other game. And I always give him coffee in the morning. Then it’s his journal that gives such valuable insight into who he truly is as a person. There’s no doubt he’s so much more than just a mere outlaw. He writes surprisingly well and is open and is surprisingly honest about his thoughts and feelings. How torn he is between the life of an outlaw and wanting to be a better man, a better person. How he admired Charles because, for him it was ‘so easy to just be good’ whereas he himself always feel torn between good and evil. And his journal entries when he meets his long-lost love Mary and saves her brother from the cultists. The expression on his face as he said goodbye to her on the train station… how utterly heartbroken he was… how she still loved him too… man, that one tore at my heart. Still does when thinking about it.
I wish I could take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly, John’s family and maybe Lenny too with me, run off and start anew. Charles would have good influence on Arthur and encourage him to turn his life around and find his place in society and encourage John to be a better father and role model for Jack and they could all learn how to live as free men and women without robbing or hurting anyone (unless they deserve it). Like, Charles is an excellent hunter and tracker. He’d totally get enough food for the gang and maybe even enough to sell. He could train Jack too. Hosea was always more of a conman/grifter than a brute/robber. He could con bad guys or rich assholes Robin Hood style. If anyone gave him grief, John and Arthur would settle the score. Arthur could sell animal pelts and John could take up carpeting. They’d be such a happy lil family. But, RDR1 is yet to happen so it’s all just wishful thinking *sigh*
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Hi TT :), I just went on your marauders threads masterpost and none of the links worked. Honestly it might be my computer (I have a super nasty virus atm) but then it might not be. To give you an idea, every time i scroll over the links the typing cursor comes up (y'know the one with the lines that highlights stuff) I've refreshed the page quite a few times and nothing seems to be working. I will carry on refreshing and see if it will work, but for now I just thought you ought to know :)
(( OOC: Yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on there. :P I’ll try and get that fixed… but in the meantime… let’s see if this works:
MARAUDERS THREAD MASTERPOST:
THE MARAUDERS:
SCHOOL YEARS:
Yer A Witch Lily!
After receiving her letter from Hogwarts, Lily wants to tell Petunia, however the conversation quickly takes a turn for the worst.
Love At First Sight
Lily Evans is the most perfect girl James has ever seen! Maybe if he pulls some smooth moves, she’ll fall for him… and maybe not.
Love At First Sight (Baby Marauder Version)
Just A Little Crushed
Frank and Alice have a chat, and it goes south quickly.
Unwanted Attention
Alice is cornered by a persistent Gryffindor who can’t seem to take a hint… or a blatant NO.
Wanted Attention
Frank has a question for Alice… and he’s beyond nervous to ask it.
Lily’s Birthday
Severus wants this birthday to be special. Lily’s worth the effort.
Shower Encounter Part 1
The Prefects bathroom is the nicest bathroom in the school, so of course Lily wants to use it… but it looks like James Potter forgot to lock to the door.
Knock it off!
James just doesn’t know when to quite being obnoxious… but Lily is more than willing to help.
Don’t Sell Yourself Short:
Sirius finds Remus fretting over a new scar after the full moon.
Part 1
Part 2
Shower Encounter Part 2
Lily is about to get some sweet, sweet revenge.
Au-Naturel
Sirius has some female admirers, and they have a bad habit of “finding” his clothes and wearing them… but what happens when he has no clothes left?
Drunk Antics
Lily may have celebrated a little too hard after Gryffindor’s latest quidditch victory.
The Rat
Peter seems very comfortable in his rat form… until Mrs. Norris shows up.
Keep Away
James and Severus were rivals from the moment they set eyes on each other, but they both have a common interest… and that scares James.
Question for Evans
James tries to pull the moves on Lily, but her reaction is less than favorable.
Snape’s Worst Memory
Severus says something unforgivable… something he’ll forever regret.
Runaway:
Sirius’s home-life has taken a turn for the worst… and the only place he can go is his sanctuary… the Potter’s.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Sugar Rush
After getting his hands on some cupcakes… Sirius is a little hyper.
We Will Rock You
The marauders are only mild sports fans…… mild.
Bromance
James and Sirius are the bestest of bros.
Meet the Blacks
Andromeda is engaged to a muggleborn, and the only member of the Black family she trusts enough to tell is Sirius.
The Yule Ball
The night didn’t turning out how Lily had envisioned, but James has a knack of showing up when she’s feeling down.
Sass Off
Dorcus and Marlene are dating… but Dorcas can’t help but feel that maybe Marlene’s feelings still reside with her old crush.
Blood Moon
Sirius, fed up with Severus, has told him about the Whomping Willow… during a full moon. James may be the only one who can save him.
You Fool Of A Black!
After rescuing Snape, James confronts Sirius about his dangerous little “prank”.
The Werewolf In The Shack
After Sirius tells Snape about the whomping willow and everything goes to hell… Remus starts to remember what happened.
The Shunned:
Sirius made a big, big mistake, and now he’s paying for it.
Part 1
Part 2
Merry Christmas Werewolf McWerewolf:
There’s a full moon on Christmas, and the Marauders want to spend it with Remus… but after Remus uses every form of persuasion he can think of, begging his friends to enjoy Christmas with their families, they begrudgingly agree to head home for the holidays.
However, as Sirius gets ready for the Potter’s Christmas party, he can’t stop thinking about Remus.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Remus Doesn’t Know Shit About Quidditch:
Looks like something is going on between Remus and Sirius… and Lily is going to get to the bottom of it.
Part 1
Part 2
Sectumsempra
Severus hasn’t forgiven James for saving him… and he’s been working on a little something… something just for Potter.
Joining The Order 1
The war is starting to hit home, and Frank wants to make a difference.
Drunk Antics Part 2
When the boys get ahold of some “fire whiskey”… things get a little crazy.
Sore Loser
James just cost Gryffindor the match, so, of course… he’s going to bitch about it.
The Monster Under the Bed
Remus has an unexpected, and very unwelcome, late-night visitor.
Can’t Sleep
Remus and Sirius are no strangers to nightmares… and after a particularly frightening one, Remus can’t get back to sleep.
You Wish
Like father like son.
She Likes Me… She Likes Me Not
Lily has a confession to make… a confession that Severus never wanted to hear.
Smitten
James and Lily have gradually become friends… but James still can’t help but want more.
Just Friends:
James Potter has been chasing Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams, for 7 years. However, after a heart-to-heart with Sirius, James realizes that Lily may never return his affections, no matter how much he likes her. Maybe… it’s time to move on.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Wallflower 1
The Yule Ball has come again, and Lily has finally said yes to going with James… there’s just one problem… James is sick.
Wallflower 2
The Yule Ball has come again, and Remus isn’t attending… or at least, that’s what Sirius thought.
A Visit With Evans
James has never been in a real, muggle house… and even better, it’s Lily-Freakin-Evan’s house… this day could not get any better!
The Talk:
James and Lily are having some fun at Lily’s place… but what happens when the parents come home early?
Part 1
Part 2
Dirty Little Secret
Remus has always been ashamed of his scars, and done his best to hide them… but he can’t hide them from everyone.
The Black Plague:
Sirius doesn’t get sick very often… but when he does…
Extra
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Mother Dearest:
After receiving unexpected and devastating news, James and Sirius must learn how to accept their grief.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Career Counseling:
The school year is coming to an end, and it’s time for the marauders to start thinking about their futures… but with a war looming, what kind of future can they hope for?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Check Me Out
Now that Lily sees James as more than a friend… she can’t help but notice other things too… particularly how good James Potter looks in that shirt.
Freaky Friday (NSFW):
After an terrible potion mix-up, Remus is going to have to survive a few days walking around in Sirius Black’s body…
Alright… he can handle this.
What he can’t handle is the fact that Sirius is now in his body… and embarrassing Remus seems to be his top priority.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Mirror, Mirror (Extra):
Part 1: Remus
Part 2: Sirius
FIRST WIZARDING WAR:
Put A Ring On It:
James is sweaty and nervous… Why? Because he’s about to propose to the girl of his dreams.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Joining The Order 2
Now that Frank is part of the Order, it’s his job to welcome new recruits… but he certainly wasn’t expecting to greet THESE recruits.
Four-Eyes
Desperate times call for… a really terrible good sense of humor.
Surprise, It’s A Baby!
Lily is pregnant… and… WHO IS THE FATHER!?
Surprise, It’s Another Baby!
Alice has a little secret.
The Hunted:
Sirius and Remus find themselves in a trap… and Remus isn’t prepared to face the person who set that trap… his very own monster under the bed.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Cry Wolf
After being released, Fenrir returns to the Den to find Bellatrix waiting for him… Looks like there’s no better time than the present to put his plans into action. Unfortunately, those plans revolve entirely around Remus Lupin.
Seed of Doubt
Sirius receives an unexpected and unwanted visit from his less-than-stable cousin, and what she has to say may lead to some budding doubts concerning Remus Lupin and his loyalties.
Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 1
The fear of war is growing… and now it’s starting to seep into Sirius’s dreams.
Nothing To Lose… Everything To Lose…
The war is taking its toll, and with mortality at the front of everyone’s minds, Sirius can’t hold back anymore.
The Downward Slope
Remus crashes at the Potter’s for the night, but he didn’t know Sirius was going to be there as well. Things have… changed… since the last time they met.
Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 2
Sirius has been cold and distant. Now he’s made his way into Remus’s dreams.
Power Play:
Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.
Part 1
Don’t Shoot The Messenger
Marlene is gone, and someone has to tell Dorcas.
What Do You Want?
The war is destroying everything… including Sirius’s faith in Remus. But his feelings are still conflicted… and when Remus confronts him, which path will Sirius choose?
The Kids Are Alright Part 1
With babies on the way, Frank and James are feeling a new weight on their shoulders. This war has taken on a whole new meaning.
Having Second Thoughts:
The Marauders are in the middle of a war, and Lily is about to have a child. What were they thinking!?
Part 1
Part 2
Bed Time For Harry
James and Lily haven’t slept in what feels like weeks. Having a baby is exhausting… but Harry just went to sleep. Maybe now they can get some shut eye.
Foreplay
Harry and Sirius are asleep, so it’s time for the adults to play. But… James and Lily seem to have a hard time being “sexy”.
Super Moon:
Being a double agent is tearing Remus apart, and when he gets trapped with Fenrir during a full moon, things take a turn for the worst.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Thrice Defied:
The war is taking its toll on the marauders, and James and Lily narrowly escape Voldemort’s clutches for the third time.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Liar, Liar:
Remus’s life has spiraled out of control, and now the only thing he can do is throw himself back into the war… but spying for the Order is a dangerous job, and Fenrir knows something that Remus doesn’t know.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Little One:
Remus has been caught in Fenrir’s twisted web since he was a child… But Fenrir has finally become bored of his little pet, and Remus is about to come face-to-face with a true monster.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Dark Times Series:
James and Lily are in a deadly game of hide and seek, and the seeker just found them.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
POST DEATH:
It’s Too Late To Apologize
Severus finds the Potter’s home in ruins. Lily is gone… and she’s never coming back.
The Man Who Loses Everything:
Remus Lupin’s world has come crashing down around him. Everything has been taken away from him… everything except…
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Just When You Thought It Was Over
Frank and Alice have been captured, and Bellatrix is out for blood… or worse.
The Cursed
Frank and Alice will never be the same.
The Nightmare
Lily was the love of his life, and Severus will never see her again, except in his dreams. But this isn’t a dream… this is a nightmare.
The Depths of Hell
There is an island, where the inhabitants have been forgotten, left to a fate worse than death…
HARRY POTTER ERA:
A New Era
Remus has been trapped in Hell since the fall of his closest friends, the people he loved… and now, after years of struggle, he’s on his way back to Hogwarts.
Awkward Reunion
The Order has a new member… and Remus hasn’t seen her in years.
Potty Humor
Tonks really shouldn’t have eaten that…
Never Be The Same:
After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius goes into hiding with Remus. However, twelve years apart, twelve years of false accusations, twelve years of torture… have left gaping wounds that may never heal.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
The Veil:
What happens to the people we leave behind?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
King’s Cross
What lies on the other side of the veil?
You Could Be Happy:
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” A story about a werewolf, a metamorphmagus, and finding happiness.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Metamorphmagus
Tonks has a little surprise for Remus.
Turntable
Tonks has spent the night with Remus for the first time… and now she has the house all to herself… so obviously a bit of “exploring” is in order.
Fatherhood
Remus is now a father… and it feels strangely familiar.
The Kids Are Alright Part 2
With the war hitting closer to home, Neville pays what may be his final visit to his father.
I Open At The Close
The Marauder’s final moments.
JILY AU’S:
James Deer
Lily can’t believe it… James Potter is an animagus?
Apologies
James thinks it might be time to make up for being an ass.
Truth or Dare (Jily)
Lily and James are stuck at Hogwarts for Christmas… but they find a fun way to pass the time.
Hormones
Lily can’t stop crying… and James is a flustered mess.
The Art Of Seduction
James pulls out his best moves… which are kind of like everyone else’s worst.
REMADORA AU’S:
What’s in My (Pockets)?
Tonks likes jackets… and stealing other people’s jackets… well, one person in particular.
The Whole Package
Remus has it.
Can’t Teach An Old Dog New Tricks
These jokes never get old.
Memories
A picture is worth a thousand words… but pictures can’t replace what Teddy lost.
Resurrection
Teddy decides to take a walk in the forbidden forest after a restless night… and he finds something on on the ground, an item long forgotten…
FENTRIX AU’S:
Power Play (CONTINUATION):
Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
And They Called It… Puppy Lust
Fenrir and Bellatrix have an… interesting relationship.
WOLFSTAR AU’S:
MODERN AU’S:
Snap Chat
Remus receives a bizarre snap from a total stranger… turns out that stranger has a pretty face framed by some nice, black hair. He might be okay with this.
BYOB (NSFW):
Remus is working as a bartender at a Gay Club. He’s witnessed a lot of… interesting stuff… But nothing has come close to Sirius Black.
Part 1 (Video):
Youtube
Vimeo
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Bloopers (Video):
Youtube
Vimeo
God Save The Queen:
Sirius has been acting strange lately… he keeps taking off at night, and Remus could have sworn he was wearing makeup… Sirius Black is hiding something.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
HP UNIVERSE AU’S:
Truth or Dare (Wolfstar)
Sirius gets wrapped up in a game of Truth or Dare… and ends up biting off more than he can chew.
The Morning After (A continuation of “Can’t Sleep”)
Sirius has a bad habit of unconsciously stripping when it gets too hot at night… and apparently Remus does too. This may become a problem if they keep sharing each other’s beds after nightmares wake them up.
The Morning After The Morning After
Remus is starting to have a hard time falling asleep… weird things seem to happen when he falls asleep in Sirius’s bed.
The Morning After The Morning After… The Morning
It’s time for Remus to get even… maybe.
Distraction
Remus is having a hard time paying attention in class with Sirius sitting across from him.
Amortentia
Things just got a little awkward in Potions class.
Fetch:
Sirius can be such a brat… but so can Remus, especially when chocolate is involved.
Part 1
Part 2
DYAC!
Damn you auto correct…
Wrong Place, Wrong Time 1
James recalls walking in on a not-so-pleasant scene.
Wrong Place, Wrong Time 2
Remus and Sirius are having a moment… but they forgot to lock the door.
Midnight Meetings
It’s getting harder to have some alone time in the dorm… so the boys take their shenanigans to McGonagall’s classroom. Bad move.
Long Hair Don’t Care
Remus grows his hair out, and Sirius can’t handle it.
What Doesn’t Kill You, Leaves A Scar:
Remus has always found his scars ugly… but Sirius is determined to show him otherwise.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
If You Wannit Come n’ Get It:
Sirius stole Remus’s hat… and Remus is trying to get it back… creatively.
Part 1
Part 2
Freudian Slip
Uh………… Whoops!
That Awkward Moment When…
You end up accidentally comparing dick sizes with your best mate.
Never Give a Werewolf Alcohol
James is going to be a father! Sirius and Remus have stayed up to celebrate… but Remus has had one to many drinks, and Sirius is enjoying his drunken companion so much… that he might just let something slip.
Plastered
After getting very a little tipsy, Sirius receives an unexpected… and very unwelcome… visitor.
Bellybutton Ring (NSFW):
Sirius has had a little too much to drink… As a result, he may be showing off more than Remus is comfortable with.
Part 1
Part 2
Polaroid (NSFW)
Sirius just got a new camera, and Remus has become an unwitting model.
Sleepy Pups
Sirius can’t help it… he just loves to cuddle.
Candy Cane (NSFW)
It’s Christmas and Sirius is enjoying his new candy cane a little too much. That insufferable git.
Baby It’s Cold Outside:
Remus is being a grinch, so Sirius is going to get him into the Christmas Spirit… and maybe get a little sing-a-long out of him as well.
VIDEO
BLOOPERS
Up or Down? (NSFW)
Sirius revels in the fact that he can make Remus flustered… using nothing more than his hair.
Don’t Play With Fire (NSFW):
Remus always becomes more aggressive as the full moon draws closer… He has always struggled to control it. But what happens when Sirius decides to threaten that control?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Extra
Never Be The Same (Alternative Ending):
After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius goes into hiding with Remus. However, twelve years apart, twelve years of false accusations, twelve years of torture… have left gaping wounds that may never heal.
Part 1
Part 2
Moving On 1
Remus has found someone who makes him happier than he’s ever been… someone who makes him feel safe.
Moving On 2
Sirius has been locked in a cell for 12 years… and now that he’s out maybe things can pick up where they left off… or, maybe, nothing will ever be the same.
NSFW Wolfstar
Exactly what it sounds like.
DARK SIRIUS AU’s:
After being sorted into Slytherin, Sirius Black’s life takes a complete turn. He never befriends the marauders (in fact, he becomes James Potter’s greatest rival), and he continues to grow up in an abusive home environment, with nowhere to run. Where will this path lead him?
Cornered Animal
A greasy little bird told Sirius a monstrous secret about Remus Lupin… So of course… he’s going to use this information to his advantage.
Betrothal
Sirius and Andromeda used to be close… but with years of abuse and no where to run, Sirius has become a different person. Can Andromeda get through to him, or will he continue down his self-destructive path?
Brotherly Love
Sirius has been through a lot with Regulus. He’s the only one in their crazy family that he can bring himself to care for… but caring just leads to hurt.
It’s A Trap!
Remus is sent on an Order mission to an abandoned mansion… when he arrives, he quickly realizes he’s not the only one there.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
TUMBLR PROM SERIES:
Ginny Weasley
James Potter
Sirius Black
Remus Lupin
Frank Longbottom
Part 1 (James and Sirius)
Part 2 (Sirius and Remus)
Part 3 (Sirius, Frank and Alice)
PROGRESSION SERIES:
Progression Of Fralice
Progression Of Jily
Progression Of Wolfstar
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