#jk I definitely WONT I’m just going INSANE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bangtanloverboys · 3 years ago

Text

groovy baby // jjk

summary - jeongguk powers, internatinal man of mystery, is here to save the day. but you sure as hell ain't having it with him

pairing - jungkook x female!reader

genre - crack/humor, smut; austin powers au

word count - 7.9k

warnings - crack that is literally taken seriously, absolute insanity, some 1960s lingo, austin powers references, jungkook being a cheeky bastard, flirty jungkook, swedish made penis milker that definitely doesn’t belong to jungkook, yoongi has one eye, gambling, bald kim seokjin, there is a plot that ends with porn, dom/sub dymanics, margret thatcher mention, sub!jk, dom!reader, whiny jungkook, edging, hand job, unprotected sex

author’s note - happy birthday to my dearest friend @jeonstudios behold the thing you have been fearing waiting for since i proposed the idea. it took me a year to do it, but it’s finally here. you’re welcome. hope you enjoy (also this wont make a lick of sense, it’s pure crack, nothing else)

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me? You’re really going to wake him up?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing as you quickly followed behind the Director of International Intelligence. You were called to his office that morning to discuss a new assignment to you. Well, it’s new to you; old to the agency. Apparently, the world’s most evil man, Dr. Seokjin Evil, had woken up from cryo-sleep and had returned to take over the world! You were being assigned the case to take him down, only you had to work with the only person who knows how to take down Dr. Evil.

Jeongguk Powers.

When he had failed to apprehend Dr. Evil over 50 years ago, he too went into cryo-sleep so when Seokjin Evil came back, he’d be ready for him. And since Evil had returned, it was time to wake the legend himself.

“I’m sorry, Agent L/N, but we have no choice. We need Powers, he’s our only hope!” Director Park sighed as you approached the end of the hallway. He pulled out his ID, swiping it in the scanner. “You’re welcome to join me while we wake him up. Otherwise, wait with Namjoon Exposition. He can brief you further on Powers and the mission.

You pondered for a moment; you had heard many rumors about him. How he slept with practically anyone that breathed, regardless of the time of day or who they worked for. His methods were very unorthodox but he yielded the results the agency needed. With a sigh, you nodded. “Fine, let’s meet him.” Stepping into the elevator next to the Director.

The ride down was surprisingly long, it felt awkward standing next to Director Park while smooth jazz played through the elevator speakers. He didn’t say anything though, just staring up at the descending numbers. The numbers continued to fall until you were well past the ground floor. You thought you’d been on every floor of the building, yet apparently not. There was still more than you’d ever know of the Intelligence Agency. Eventually, the words Cryo Lab displayed on the small screen and the doors opened. Immediately, you were greeted with stark white walls and freezing air.

“Excuse me, Director. . . Agent.” A new voice called out. Turning, you saw three new individuals all dressed in white parkas. “These are for you.” Two of them held out similar jackets for you and the Director to don. Once you were enveloped in the warmth of the parka, the five of you made your way down the long hallway led by one of the men you learned was the Cryo Lab Supervisor, Doctor Jung. “Mr. Powers is held in our celebrity vault, so if you may follow me through here.” He announced as you entered a large room with several dozen cryotubes lined along the wall. You recognized some of the faces and names: Steve Harvey, Walt Disney, Jackson Wang, Pewdiepie, just to name a few.

At the end of the line, there he was. You watched as machinery picked him up and began the de-freezing and re-animating him, the process being quite uncomfortable to watch if you were being honest. Is this really the price he was willing to pay in order to get the bad guy? Freeze yourself for who knows how long until you can fight your nemesis? Not to mention lose all the ones you’ve held dear for so long while you essentially stay the same? A blaring alarm pulled you from your thoughts as you watched as Mr. Powers was stood up and was led away by some cryo nurses to be fully looked over.

“So, Agent L/N. What do you think so far?” Director Park asked as the group started off towards the rehabilitation chamber.

“I mean there’s not much to him so far, just a slime covered man who woke up from a 50 year frozen sleep.” You were immensely confused by the question, what did you think? Pfft, you’d have to see him in the field to fully form an opinion on the man.

“Fair enough, I was only curious as to what you’d think of a legend.” He shrugged at you.

“Well sir, legend or not, he’s merely an asset to defeating Dr. Evil and ending his reign of terror.” You were straightforward with your answer, you knew what this job was and how important it was to not only the International Intelligence Agency, but to the whole world that Seokjin Evil is put behind bars for good. “Plus he looked like an overgrown slimy fetus. He didn’t look all that impressive.”

Your quip got a good laugh out of the Director as the two of you came to a stop, Doctor Jung instructing you to remove the parkas before continuing. “He may not seem like much now, Agent. But trust me, he’s not what you would expect.” Director Park chuckled as you started into the next room.

Before you could ask him what he meant, you were stunned into silence with the sight before you. There was the famous Jeongguk Powers, bare naked and strapped to a metal table as he slowly began to regain consciousness. While you had seen him naked only moments ago, he was covered in reanimation goo. Now that he was clean, your eyes traced over his exposed form, slowly beginning to understand the appeal so many had about him. He was quite fit, well defined v line and toned arms. As you took him in, he slowly began to wake up. His eyelids slowly blinked open as they adjusted to the bright light of the room.

“Welcome back, Agent Powers.” Director Park started as the man strapped to the standing table woke.

“Where am I?” His voice was weak as he spoke, still dazed and confused as he started to become more lucid.

“You’re in the Intelligence Agency, you’re waking up after being in cryo-sleep for 54 years Welcome to 2021,” the Director explained as Doctor Jung began to remove wires and loosen the straps that kept him in place.

“Sorry to interrupt, Director, but the mission.” You interjected, forcing the attention of the legendary spy onto you.

“Right, Jeongguk. Dr. Evil is back, and we need your help to stop him. Agent Y/N L/N, is to be your partner for the mission to take him down.” Director Park introduced you as you stepped forward. All while he spoke however, Jeongguk’s eyes never seemed to leave you, his dark eyes drinking you in.

“My god, she’s a fox.” His lips curled into a smirk as he spoke, “Bet she shags like one too.” Silence fell over the small room as everyone turned to stare at the man who just spoke aloud. “I hope I didn’t just say any of that out loud because of the unfreezing process.”

You could feel your face burn at his words, embarrassed that he would dare even think that upon first meeting you. “Oh you did,” you gave the man a tight lipped smile before continuing. “Mr. Powers, let me get one thing clear. We’re here to get this mission done and put Dr. Evil behind bars. Are we clear?”

Despite all the venom in your voice, his smirk stayed plastered on his face. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, Agent L/N will meet you in the waiting room to help you collect your things before the two of you get debriefed on your mission.” Director Park must’ve sensed the growing tension in the room, as he placed a hand on your shoulder to lead you out of the room.

Just before the door was about to shut behind you, you heard him call out “Looking forward to working with you, baby.”

As much as you wanted to walk right back in there and slap him clean across the face, the Director ushered you back up into another elevator, fully preventing you from getting the last word.

“Do I really have to work with him?” You hissed as the elevator door closed.

“Yes, Agent Powers knows Dr. Evil well and is the only one that can defeat him.” Director Park insisted as he stared up at the climbing numbers. “And not another word about it, you’re to help Mr. Powers adjust to the 21st century and complete the mission. That is final.” The rest of the elevator trip was silent.

The Director left you in the Cryo Locker Check-In for you to wait for Agent Powers to arrive. Rolling your eyes, you seated yourself in one of the chairs of the waiting room, who knows how long it would take to get that man reoriented in his body after being frozen for over 50 years. Legs crossed, you watched as many people (a lot of celebrities and politicians actually) checked in their stuff before they were led down towards the Cryo-Lab. Who knows how long you were waiting, you were only pulled from your thoughts when a stark white robe appeared in front of you.

“They told me I could find you here,” Jeongguk had the same sly smirk playing on his lips as he spoke to you.

“Mr. Powers, we’re here to collect your things before we go see Namjoon Exposition for further details on the mission.” You replied as you rose from your seat. He didn’t back away when you got to your feet. Now that he was standing on his own, you could now see how much taller he was compared to you. He kept staring at you, like he expected you to swoon into his arms. But that would never happen. Placing a hand on his chest, you pushed him away from you. “We can go get your things now from the check-in.” Not even waiting for him to follow, you walked over and asked the man behind the window for Jeongguk’s things. Coincidentally, the man himself saunted after you, leaning against the counter.

“All of Danger Powers’ personal effects.” The man said when he returned, placing a small plastic container on the counter.

“I think you’ve been mistaken, I said Jeongguk Powers-”

“No, no baby, it’s alright.” Jeongguk cut you off, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Danger is my middle name.” Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you ignored him and turned your attention back to the man who was ready to sign over Agent Powers’ things.

“Okay, Jeongguk Danger Powers.” He huffed as he began to sift through the container. “One blue crush velvet suit, one frilly lace cravat, one silver medallion with male symbol, one pair of Italian boots-”

“Oh buongiorno, boys!”

“And one Swedish made Penis Milker.” He finished, holding up a clear cylindrical tube with the Swedish flag plastered on it. Turning to Jeongguk, you raised a brow, intrigued at that mention. You wouldn’t have pegged him for a man to have that sort of toy, especially with his reputation. You could tell Jeongguk was slightly flustered at this toy coming to light, the tips of his ears bright red.

“That. . . isn’t mine, must’ve been . . . mixed up.” He protested as his things, minus the milker, were placed back into the container.

“Just sign it,” the man was clearly done with whatever Agent Powers was trying to pull.

Quickly, he signed the paper that would have his belongings returned to his possession. Papers signed, he took the box in hand. “Alright, baby, let’s get a move on.” Ready to change the subject and get back into the action.

“Mr. Powers, if you could refrain from calling me baby, that would be much obliged.” You said through a tight smile. “We’re going to be late for our briefing, so if you could please follow me.” Turning on your heel, you made your way towards the briefing room. After a few steps, you could sense he wasn’t following directly behind you. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw the end of the exchange of the worker placing the Penis Milker in the box with the rest of his things. With a roll of your eyes, you quickened your step. Maybe if you were fast enough, he’d get lost and you could do the mission all on your own. Alas, it seemed that fate had a different idea, as Jeongguk caught up to you in no problem and even seemed to know where he was going. Apparently the building hadn’t changed much in the past 50 years.

Reaching the end of the hall, you pushed open the door to the briefing room. It was a plain room: a circular table in the middle of the room with a white projection screen. Nothing too flashy or high tech. The only person in it was Namjoon, sitting in one of the seats at the table, no doubt re-reading the mission details all over again. He was very thorough, not wanting to leave out any sort of detail that might be important.

Clearing your throat, Namjoon’s eyes shot up to meet yours. “Agent L/N! And Agent Powers!” He practically jumped to his feet and rushed over to you both. He grabbed Jeongguk’s hand in his, shaking it. “God, it’s wonderful to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you-”

“Rapmon?” The agent asked him, cutting him off.

“Rapmon?” You echoed. You were familiar with the name, he was a hero in the International Intelligence Agency. You remember reading about his missions when you were in training and knew he worked with Jeongguk on occasion. But why was he calling Namjoon that?

Namjoon let out a nervous chuckle. “I am Namjoon Exposition. Rapmon was my father, he told me a lot about you.” You stared at Namjoon as he released Jeonggugk’s hand. Not once had he ever mentioned being related to the legend to you.

“Rapmon had a son?! And you’re a spitting image of him! Wow!” Agent Powers gushed as he looked him up and down. “How is he?”

A solemn look fell over Namjoon. “He, uh, he died. About two years ago.”

Jeongguk’s face froze in shock. “Oh, my condolences.” He bowed his head in respect.

“It’s fine, Agent Powers.” Namjoon waved off the apology. “You can get changed in that room over there, we’ll begin the briefing when you’re ready.” He continued, pointing to a door on the other side of the wall. Jeongguk bowed in thanks as he walked over to the changing room, ready to change into his clothes no doubt. With a click of the lock, Namjoon turned back to face you, still in a bit of shock. “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were related to Rapmon?” You blurted out, feeling slightly hurt that he never told you, yet immediately told Jeongguk.

Scratching the back of his neck, he sighed. “I don’t really like telling people, it never really seemed important.” He explained as he walked back over to the table and began rearranging the papers for the dull debrief. “Besides, I never wanted him to influence how people saw me or my work.”

You nodded in understanding. Legacy was everything in this business, the next generation always trying to outdo the last. You couldn’t imagine the stress that might’ve put on him. Namjoon gave you a tight smile in return, but before you could say anything else, Jeongguk burst back into the room, fully dressed in the blue velvet suit.

“Fits like a glove!” He announced, spinning in a circle so you both had a full view of him in his classic outfit. He pulled out a chair. “Now let's get down to business, baby!” Jeongguk said as he sat down, putting his feet up on the table. With a roll of your eyes, you sat down next to him, eyes forward as Namjoon began his debrief.

“Alright, from what we can tell Dr. Evil’s spaceship landed in the desert just outside Las Vegas.” Namjoon began as he clicked a small button, displaying a map of Nevada and marking the ship's landing. “We believe that the Two Mafia has been incharge of their finances the past 50 years. Currently Yoongi Two, or Number Two as he’s preferred to be called, is head of the family and working in Sin City.” He clicked another button, a candid photo of a man with dark hair and an eyepatch was shown on screen. “Your assignment is to pose as a married couple on holiday at the Two Hotel and Casino, and put a stop to whatever Dr. Evil and his crew are up to!”

“You got it, Namjoon.” Giving him a firm nod.

“Got that, but I have a question, actually.” Jeongguk said, removing his feet from the tabletop as he leaned forward. “Traveling to Las Vegas. . . is there by any chance my jet-”

“Oh right! We preserved your jumbo jet in perfect condition, it’s ready to take off as soon as your bags are packed and ready.” Namjoon cut him off, a bright smile on his face.

“My jumbo jet?! Smashing, baby! Let’s go!”

Before the day was up, you and Mr. Powers were in a multicolored jet flying over the Pacific Ocean to Las Vegas, Nevada. The inside of the jet was just as colorful as the outside but it felt like stepping back in time to the 1960s with all the furniture and layout of it all. There were fun patterned chairs here and there, a full bar, and a circular bed in the back. From the mere size of it, you weren’t sure if this was something that the Intelligence Agency gave him or if it was actually his; because if it was something he bought on his own salary, you were definitely going to have a talk with Director Park about your pay.

“Well, well, well, we’re finally alone.” Jeongguk said, two glasses of champagne in hand as he sat next to you on a zebra print chair.

Taking the glass from him, you roll your eyes. “Yes, thank you Captain Obvious.” You took a sip of the drink before placing it down on the small table in front of you, giving you use of both hands to go over more paperwork for the Agency before you landed in a few hours.

“Well. . ?”

“Well what, Mr. Powers?” You questioned, looking back up from your files.

“Are we not gonna shag?” He gestured behind him to the bed. “Because honestly, I’d like to know if my wedding tackle still works as good as it used to.” He winked, or more so blinked, as both his eyelids closed.

“Then I believe you have a perfectly good Swedish made Penis Milker for that.” You retorted.

“Aww don’t be like that baby, I know you like me~” He flirted, despite the all telling red tips of his ears. “Come on, just a quick one. Promise I won’t bite. . . hard.”

“Mr. Powers,” you set down your files on the table before looking him dead in the eye. “I won’t have sex with you ever. Not even if the fate of the universe rested upon us, I won’t ever, and I mean ever, fuck you. Even if I was drunk.” You watched as the once confident man was taken aback by your straightforwardness. He clearly wasn’t ever used to being told no, which unfortunately left you to be the one to set that boundary. You couldn’t help but wonder how many of his co-workers did he fuck in order for him to expect sex form you; or maybe he was just that horny.

The look of shock on his face quickly morphed back into a flirtatious expression. “Never say never, baby.”

“Mr. Powers, I don’t think I need to remind you that I am an agent, like yourself. But if you continue to call me baby, I might just have to remind you.” You narrowed your eyes at him, already wishing the plane would land already.

“Promises, promises.” He chuckled as he got up from his seat and towards the bed. “If you change your mind, I’ll be right here. . . taking a nap. . . on the bed.” He assured as he slowly pushed all the pillows off before stretching himself out over it.

“Mmhmm, sleep well.” Was all you said as you returned back to the paperwork you had in hand. However instead of the snoring you expected to hear, sensual music began blaring through the jet’s speakers, startling you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Jeongguk stretched out over the bed as it spun about, the top buttons of his shirt were undone, exposing the top of his chest. His dark eyes filled with lust as he stared at you.

“Join me, baby.” He curled his finger at you, beckoning you to come closer. “Come on, I make you randy, don’t I? Do I make you horny, baby?”

A strange mix of embarrassment and rage boiled in your stomach as heat blossomed in your cheeks. Rising to your feet, you stormed over and quickly shut off the music and ceasing his attempts. “Mr. Powers, I said no!” You hissed, glaring down at him on the bed. Standing above him, you watched as his attempt of seduction faded away. His expression was no longer salacious, but there was something deep in his eyes that remained. Like he enjoyed pushing your buttons.

But before you could even say anything, he bowed his head. “I’m sorry.” Was all he said, before he pulled one of the pillows from the ground and tucked it underneath his head. “Wake me when we land in Las Vegas.” And just like that, he was silent for the remainder of the flight.

After the jet landed, you and Jeongguk were escorted where you were finally able to settle down and prepare for snooping about the Two Casino. Remarkably, Jeongguk was able to refrain from any more dirty remarks or anything of the sort. In silence, you both were able to check your equipment, getting it ready for that night. On occasion, you’d steal a few glances. You’d never admit it aloud, but you were quite fascinated with how quick he was with loading his firearms. Interestingly enough, his weapon of choice was a pair of Walther PPK/Ss; a small, sleek gun that could easily be concealed.

“You’re staring.” His voice pulled you from your thoughts. Jeongguk didn't even bother looking up from his guns, but a smirk was pulling on his lips, plain as day. “See something you like?”

“No,” you responded, “I just didn’t expect you to use Walthers.”

Putting down the gun, he looked at you, raising a brow. “Why is that?”

“I figured with a man whose ego is about the size of the sun, he would use something about the same size.” Somewhere in the back of your mind your smacking yourself for giving him an opening like that.

Jeongguk however was silent for a moment, then he spoke again. “Well baby, I’m sorry to disappoint but I’m not one to compensate. And besides, it’s not the size that matters,” his smirk deepening as he spoke, “it’s how you use it.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you set down your gun and begin gathering your clothes for tonight. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Want me to join you?”

“Come anywhere near the door, Mr. Powers and I’ll shoot you in the dick.” With that, you slammed the bathroom door shut, locking it behind you. Jesus Christ, what got into you, you thought as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You needed to focus on the mission, because the sooner you found out Dr. Evil’s plans, the sooner you’d be done with Jeongguk Powers.

Finishing your shower, you slipped into a black cocktail dress, perfect for blending in at the casino. On your fingers was an array of rings, each one having a special use for gathering intelligence and getting you out of sticky situations. Unlocking the door, you stepped out of the bathroom, where you were immediately greeted with Jeongguk’s back. He was no longer wearing the crushed blue velvet suit, instead his suit was a pink satin one. At the sound of the door opening, he turned to face you. The cravat he was wearing earlier was also abandoned, a ruffled shirt in its place. You felt his dark eyes as they trailed down your body, shamelessly checking you out for the second time that day.

“You look smashing, baby,” he complimented as he held out his arm for you to take.

With a roll of your eyes, you linked your arm with his. “Let’s just find Number Two and see what he’s up to.”

As the pair of you made your way towards the casino, you kept your eyes peeled for Number Two as Jeongguk said hello and chatted with strangers as they walked past you. At first, you couldn’t understand what he was doing, bringing so much attention to himself. You turned to scold him, but you were caught off as you watched him talk. Sure he was friendly towards the people they passed by, but his gaze was calculating. He was surveying them, making mental notes who might be a possible lead and who wouldn’t. In that moment you understood why the Intelligence Agency valued him so much: he drew all the attention to him and was able to weed out everyone with a single look, all while not raising any suspicions. It was brilliant.

Approaching the roulette tables, Jeongguk stopped in his tracks. Frowning at his sudden change in disposition, you looked up at him when you noticed he was staring at something. Or someone. Following his gaze, he was locked on a table halfway across the room where a small crowd of people had gathered. A head of bleached blond hair stood out from the rest, barely reacting as the people jeered at the game. Before you could question Jeongguk, he pulled you in that direction.

“Mind if you deal me in?” He asked as he sat himself down in an open seat.

As Jeongguk spoke, the blond man faced you both. Immediately you were greeted with a familiar face, one you’ve only seen in photographs.

Yoongi Two. The owner of the casino, and Dr. Evil’s right hand man. Sure you were at his establishment, but you never thought he would simply be out in the open, so easy to find. Over his right eye was an eyepatch, the edges of a scar barely peeking out from underneath. His good eye darted from Jeongguk to you, sizing you up no doubt.

Concealing your surprise, you fell into your role of supportive partner, wrapping your arms around Jeongguk’s shoulders. You would’ve suspected the agent to be stiff, his shoulders tight and nervous, but he wasn’t. His muscles relaxed as he kept cool under Two’s heavy gaze.

“But of course,” he finally spoke, motioning to the croupier to deal Jeongguk in. You eyed Two as he placed a various amount of chips about the board, placing them on the Third 12 and the 18th tile. Once his bets were placed, all attention was shifted to Jeongguk.

Gathering all his tiles, he pushed them over to the black tile. “I always bet on black.” You couldn’t believe what he was doing, playing such a risky move. But you didn’t let your annoyance show, only watching carefully as the dealer spun the wheel, dropping the ball in.

“34 Red,” the croupier announced. “Sir, I’m afraid you’re out.”

“It’s fine, I like to live dangerously.” Jeongguk announced, his eyes not once ever leaving Two’s as the chips were pushed over to his corner.

“What a coincidence,” he said as he began stacking up all the new money he acquired, “so do I.”

“Gentlemen,” Jeongguk nodded to Two and the surrounding guests as he stepped away from the table, you in tow.

“What in the fuck was that, Powers?!” You hissed, still feeling Yoongi Two’s gaze burning into the back of your head.

“Relax baby, I know what I’m doing,” he said as he led you down further into the casino. “Dr. Evil and his pals like to think they’re clever, but it’s obvious to see that if Two, the main muscle is out and about up here-”

“Then Dr. Evil is alone, unguarded.” You finished.

“You’re catching on, baby.”

At the end of the casino hall, there was a private room, curtained off from the rest of the masses. Peeking behind, Jeongguk motioned for you to follow him. You took one last look behind you, making sure no one else saw you as you snuck behind the velvet curtain. The room was elaborate, a private bar and tables set up, ready for use. But evidently, no one was around. As you took in your surroundings, Jeongguk let go of your hand, walking behind the bar.

“Mr. Powers, what exactly are you doing?” You questioned as he began looking at the bottles of alcohol.

“You’ll see in a moment, baby,” he responded. “Ah ha!” He exclaimed as he reached up. His hand wrapped around the neck of a bottle labeled Big Boy ‘67. Gently, Jeongguk pulled the wine bottle, but instead of taking it off the shelf, it lowered like a lever. The velvet wall beside the bar opened up. It was a secret door!

“How did you know that was there?”

“I know Dr. Evil,” was all he said as he reached into his pocket, pulling out one of his guns. Following his lead, you did the same. Jeongguk pushed the door open a bit further, giving just enough room for you both to squeeze through. Behind the secret entrance, was a long silver hallway, screeching out in both directions. To your right, it was silent, nothing much. To your left however, you could hear the faint sounds of rock music blasting. Exchanging a look with Jeongguk, you quietly made your way down towards the noise to investigate.

About a dozen meters down, the corridor turned into a modified cave made similar to a business meeting room; a long table with chairs lined up, with an even larger chair at the head of the table. Needless to say it was the perfect place for an evil hide-away. Normally when you were infiltrating an enemy lair, you would’ve expected the place to be crawlinging with guards. But instead the place was near empty. You looked over the Jeongguk, who also seemed to have noticed the lack of bad guys, but his eyes were trained on the far side of the cave, where the music was still blaring from.

Not even bothering to consult you on how much further you should go, Jeongguk began rolling about on the floor, sneaking his way over to the music.

“Powers!” You whisper-shouted at him, but he was too far now to hear you. Left with no other choice, you began to sneak after him, careful not to set off any alarms. Turning the corner, you were met with a door, plastered with different stickers of punk bands and various threats. Jeongguk seemed to be just as confused as you were, frowning at such a strange door in the middle of an evil lair. Pressing your ear against the wood, you could hear a voice singing alongside the music.

Placing your hand on the door knob, getting ready to open it, Jeongguk grabbed your wrist. Your eyes shot to him, ready to hiss out another threat but he brought his finger to his lips. Before you could question him, you heard it. Footsteps were approaching the main part of the evil lair.

You had to get out. Now.

Turning on your heel, you both began to head back in the direction from where you came. Unfortunately, neither of you heard the door swing open behind you until a voice called out.

“Dad! You have visitors!”

Before you even had a second to process what was going on, the world went black.

When you opened your eyes you were bound to a chair, unable to move. Directly in front of you, was the man himself. Dr. Seokjin Evil. His face was objectively handsome, minus for the long scar that went down the right side of his face. And for the fact he was bald. But even then, he was still very good looking.

To his right was Yoongi Two, he must’ve realized who you both were and alerted Seokjin! Clever bastard. However, the man to the left of Dr. Evil you were unable to recognize him. He was a younger man, but just as handsome as the elder. His hair was a mess of light brown curls on his head, giving him a boyish look in comparison to his chiseled Greek god features.

“Ah, Mr. Powers we meet again,” Seokjin began.

“Let Y/N go, Dr. Evil, this has nothing to do with her!” Jeongguk shouted at the man.

“Excuse me?” Your fury of being captured was suddenly divided on to Jeongguk’s comment.

“On the contrary, Mr. Powers. It has everything to do with her! Because,” he paused for dramatic effect, “she’s my ticket into the Intelligence Agency!”

“What the hell does that mean?” You questioned, struggling against your constraints.

“Send in the Fem-Bot!” Seokjin shouted, never breaking eye contact with you.

“Send in the Fem-Bot!” A shriek voice repeated, causing you all to wince at the shrill.

A wall opened up and from behind Dr. Evil, you heard subtle clicks of heels before a figure appeared before you. It took a few more steps before it was fully in the light of the cave lair and your jaw dropped in shock. It was. . . you?

“What the fuck?” You blinked up at the figure. It was literally a carbon copy of you, same face, hair, hell you can’t help but wonder it had the same bra size as you. The only difference was it’s moves were stiff and robotic, giving away it’s inhuman nature.

“You see, Mr. Powers, since you froze yourself to defeat me, the International Intelligence Agency has grown weak with terrible agents, easily swayed with money,” Seokjin monologued. “I have moles woven into each and every branch of the agency, but little Miss L/N here is the only thing between me and turning the Intelligence Agency into my own personal Agency of Evil!” He cackled, his evil laughter echoing off the rocks.

“You’ll never get away with it Dr. Evil!” Jeongguk contered.

“On the contrary Mr. Powers,” Seokjin glowered down at your partner, an evil gleam in his eyes. “I already have.” Looking at Yoongi Two, he started again. “Take her to the mind switch lab, we need to download her brain into the Fem-Bot.”

“Right away, boss.” He nodded curtly, grabbing your chair (that apparently has wheels) and pushing you out of the main cave area, the Fem-Bot following close behind.

“Mind switch? What are you? Powers!” You shouted as you pulled on the ropes once again, trying to get out.

“Take him to the lazer shark tank.” With a wave of his hand, Jeongguk was getting pushed in the opposite direction. “Now, Tae-Tae, what do you think? Huh, huh? Your dad is pretty evil, right?”

“They both know your whole plan and you’re letting them get out of your sight? What if they escape?” The young man pointed out, barely hearing his voice as you were being wheeled away.

“Oh please, you have such little faith in Number Two. It’ll all be fine.”

Contrary to his belief, it was not fine. While you were tied to a chair, you were very capable of freeing yourself before you could get to the Mind Switch lair. As luck would have it, they didn’t remove your rings, not thinking they were anything useful. Wrapping your fingers around your right pointer finger, you began to twist and wiggle off the jewelry until it sat hooked on the top knuckle of your finger. With your opposite hand, you pressed down on the jewel, activating the gadget. After a few seconds, you felt heat emanate off the diamond, pressing it up against the rope, burning it off. Bit by bit, the rope fell away, slowly freeing you.

“Hey what are you-” Number Two started to speak, but was quickly cut off by you jumping off the chair and kicking it behind you, knocking Yoongi straight to the floor. “Why you- Fem-Bot, attack!” He ordered the robot, pointing at you.

Making eye contact with your robotic clone, you watched in horror as two small nozzles poked out where the nipples should be.

“What the fuck-”

The nipples began shooting at you. Tittie guns? What sort of mad man created this? You thought to yourself as you began running down the hallway, dodging the bullets as they ricocheted against the steel walls.

“Red alert, red alert. The agent is escaping. I repeat, the agent is escaping!” Yoongi Two spoke into his communicator, alerting the other bad guys that you were free.

You needed to find Jeongguk, and get out of there. Reconvene at base and warn Director Park of Seokjin’s evil plan. Turning the corner, you passed a huge glass wall, showing off a small chamber. Inside was Jeongguk! He was tied to a metal post that was lowering itself into a tank where sharks with laser devices attached to their heads swam about.

“Powers!” You banged on the glass, catching his attention. As soon as he recognized you, his face lit up. “I’m gonna get you out of there, hold on!” You pulled the ring off your left ring finger, pressing it up against the glass. Squeezing the sides of the band, you waited until it began to vibrate against the glass. Cracks began emitting all across the window pane. Once the web of cracks covered the entirety of it, you tossed the ring away. Raising your fist, you punched at the glass, shattering it instantly.

“I knew you’d come back for me, baby.”

“Powers, if you could kindly shut up,” you huffed as you stepped on to the glass covered walkway that lined the edge of the tank. “Where’s the off switch?” You shouted as you glanced around.

“I thought you wanted me to shut up?”

“Jeongguk Powers, I will let you die,” you threatened.

“To your left, behind that metal plating.” He tossed his head in the direction of the switch. Quickly, you found the panel and switched off the machine. Just in time in fact as his shoes were the only thing on him that was set. He was raised back up anova the water and a metal covering encased the top of the tank water, hiding away the laser sharks. Running up to him, you freed him of his restraints.

“We gotta get out of here and warn the director,” you told him as you both began running down the corridor again, looking for the exit. “Do you still have your other gun?”

“Always do,” he winked as he pulled his other gun from his pants. “Yours?”

“Taken, don’t think just go!” You hissed as you pushed him down another corner. Unfortunately, the hall you pushed him in led you both to be completely surrounded.

“You think you can get away so easily, agents?” Dr. Evil questioned.

“You’re not gonna get your grummy fingers on my mind you sick fuck!” You shouted as you frantically pressed the pad of your finger on the ring wrapped around your middle finger. A honing beckon, notifying the agency of your distress. Hopely they’ll send someone, and someone fast.

“Oh I will, Miss L/N,” Seokjin Evil smirked. “It’ll only be a matter of-”

“Freeze!”

From the ceiling, agents began lowering themselves surrounding Seokjin and his henchmen. Various guns were pointed at him and Number Two as they began to outnumber the bad guys.

“Dr. Seokjin Evil and Yoongi Two, you are both under arrest for attempts to take over the International Intelligence Agency and other various acts of villainy.” An agent started as he put both of the men in handcuffs, reading them their rights.

“I don’t understand. . . how did you get here so quickly?” Jeongguk asked, completely baffled as he lowered his gun.

“Yeah, I only just set off the beckon.” You were immensely curious as they got here in a matter of moments, like they were waiting for the moment to interfere.

“It was me.” A new voice caused you to turn your head, it was the young man from before, Tae-Tae? You believe Dr. Evil called him? “Taehyung Evil. An unfortunate last name, I know. I’m a double agent.”

“What? You went against your father?” You raised a brow.

“He wasn’t there for me my entire life,” Taehyung said as if it was obvious. “Suddenly he shows up out of the blue and wants me to join him in his business of evil? Fuck no, I want to be a rocker.”

“That makes sense,” Jeongguk shrugged as the two villains were taken into custody.

“I’ll be back Powers! You’ll see!”

“He always says that,” Jeongguk rolled his eyes at the evil man as you began walking down the hallway. “Ah anyways- wait where are you going?”

“Home? The mission is over, Mr. Powers. We can leave.”

“But we’re in Vegas, baby! Why don’t we have fun! Or do you have a bug up your ass?”

Your jaw dropped in shock at his words. “I have fun, just, not on company time.”

“We’re not on company time anymore?” He countered.

Kissing your teeth, you sighed, giving in. “Fine, one drink. Let’s go back to the room so I can change, this dress is getting terribly uncomfortable.” You sighed as you continued walking past him.

“Groovy, baby!”

Jeongguk followed you back up to your room, where you kicked off your heels and began pulling off the remainder of your gadget rings. Dropping them off into a bowl, you reached behind you for your zipper. You let out a noise of frustration, unable to free yourself of the cocktail dress.

No doubt seeing your struggle, Jeongguk stepped behind you. “Allow me.” Gently he placed his hands on your shoulders, stilling you. In one swift motion, he pulled your zipper down, exposing your back to him, but didn’t step away. “You know, you saved my ass back there.”

“I did.”

“Is there anything I could do to possibly repay you?” Your back was pressed up against his chest, you could feel his hot breath against the skin of your ear.

For a moment, you pause, pondering his words. On one hand, you were definitely annoyed with his constant advances and flirtations. But on the other, with Dr. Evil defeated- what was holding you back? Turning in his hold, you faced him.

“On one condition,” you said, taking note of his dark eyes, full of lust, “I’m in charge.”

That familiar smirk pulled on his lips once again. “Smashing, baby.”

“Oh shut up, Powers.” With that, you pulled on his satin jacket, meeting his lips in a messy kiss. Your teeth clanged against his as you took one step, two steps forward until Jeongguk hit the bed beside him, falling onto the mattress. Letting the dress fall off your shoulders, you stood before him in your matching black undergarments. You enjoyed the look on Jeongguk’s face as you revealed your nearly naked body. “Do I make you horny, baby?” You echoed the words he said to you on the jet.

“You make me absolutely randy,” he winked.

“Take off your clothes,” you ordered, pointing to his pink satin suit. “Now.”

Pride swelled in your chest as you watched Jeongguk scramble to remove his clothes, revealing the same muscular body you saw earlier when he was unfrozened. As he pulled down his pants, freeing his cock, it slapped against his lower abdomen. For a moment, you were stunned as his dick was quite impressive in length, you wondered if it happened because of the freezing process or if he was always just naturally hung.

Meeting his eyes once again, you saw he’d noticed your staring and wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Like what you see.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you snapped your fingers. “Hands on the headboard, now.”

Laying across the bed, Jeongguk raised his hands above his head, resting them on the headboard. Reaching down to the ground, you reached for his pants, pulling out his belt. With it in hand, you crawled onto the bed, seating yourself on Jeongguk’s muscular thighs. Leaning over him, you secured his wrists to the headboard.

“Do you need a safeword?” You questioned him as you leaned back, taking in the full view of him fully exposed and looking absolutely delicious.

“Marget Thatcher.” He winked.

With a roll of your eyes, you took his length in your hand. Jeongguk let out a hiss at the sudden contact. You smirked at him as you removed your hand, spitting into your palm before you began pumping him, slowly. With each drag of your hand, Jeongguk let out a series of soft mewls and sighs. You swiped your thumb over his tip, collecting the pearl of pre-cum that had been growing. Each noise he made you could feel the fabric of your underwear cling to you get more and more uncomfortable.

“Fuck- shit,” Jeongguk whined as you pumped his cock. “Please, fuck-”

“Please what?” You asked, not slowing in the fervent pace you’ve set. With a grown, Jeongguk thrusted his hips into your fist, trying to get closer to his high. “Nuh uh uh,” you tisked as you pressed your free hand down his hips, keeping him still against the mattress. “No moving.”

“Fuck I’m gonna come,” he moaned.

“Really? You wanna come all over my hands?”

“Yes! Please!”

“I don’t think so,” you tutted as you pulled your hand away, stopping him from reaching his orgasm.

“No, fuck, please. Please, need to cum. Wanna come,” Jeongguk whined, pulling against the belt that held him in place.

“You’ll come when I want you to,” you said as you reached between your legs, pushing your underwear to the side. Grabbing hold of his length, you brought his tip to your entrance and slowly lowered yourself down onto him. He wasn’t so big it hurt, but just big enough that it gave you a delicious burn as you sheathed him inside you.

“You’re so-so warm, fuck!” Jeongguk whined as he attempted to buck up into you, wanting more of you.

Experimentally, you rolled your hips against him. “Fuck,” you sighed out, as you lifted your hips, feeling every single ride of his cock drag against your walls before you dropped your hips back down.

“More! More!” Jeongguk cried out, no doubt feeling his stolen high creep back up on him.

Instead of teasing him more, you only continued to fuck yourself on his cock. Reaching down you found your clit, playing with it as you continued riding him. A knot in your gut grew as you thrusted yourself down on him over and over again.

“I’m gonna come, please-please let me come,” he begged.

“Hold it,” you hissed, rubbing your bundle of nerves until you felt the knot in your gut snap. Waves of pleasure washed over you as you moaned out Jeongguk’s name. With your walls convulsing around him, you don’t think he’ll last much longer. Pulling yourself off him, you wrapped your hand around his cock once again, not stopping until ropes of cum fell from him, painting his stomach white.

Hand covered in cum, you collapsed on the bed next to him, catching your breath.

“I was right,” Jeongguk smiled as he looked at you, his hands still bound to the bed. “You do shag like a fox.”

#btsghostie #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #sub jungkook #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x reader smut #bts x reader smut #sub bts #bts crack #jungkook crack #sub jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfiction

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jikookpancakes · 4 years ago

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JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

#jikook #kookmin #jikook fic rec #bts #jimin #jungkook #there's some that i wanna include but they're gone from ao3 now so sad #lesson: read these while you still can #i have so much more saved to read omg #i shall return with a part 2 #fic rec

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fact-fictionx · 3 years ago

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IN PERPETUUM ET UNUM DIEM (FOREVER AND A DAY)

Bridgerton University AU by @hallownight89 [A03] & @fact-fictionx [girlwiththeredballoon AO3]

Oxford University is a Bridgerton hub; for as long as they can remember, every Bridgerton went to Oxford. With Edmund and Violet's children beginning to grow up and settle into their future, join them as they follow in their parents footsteps and attempt to navigate family, friends, studying, and love.

Character bios: [Anthony] [Benedict] [Simon] [Kate] [Sophie]

*disclaimer. we are not latin speakers, the title is up to interpretation from many different google searches and reddit forums, but we like it. Q&A with the authors Ash & May under the cut 🥰

When are we getting it?

A: our boys birthday!!! M: SUNDAY 4TH JULY!!

I'm a Benedict sucker/lover/obsessed so...how much Benedict?

A: Have you met us…? Like 90% of our blogs are Benedict 😂 M: You and me both… so ALL OF IT. lol jk jk in all seriousness, Benedict will be in one of the main couples that we will explore in the first story.

Will the storylines be a little like the books?

A: the core essence of the stories yes but it’s modern so expect some changes and expect the unexpected M: somethings will be inspired from the storylines, other things taken from our chaotic brains. We have taken liberty with some ages & age gaps, and maybe given Violet a few less pregnancies 👀

Whom that mainly focuses on?

A: little bits of everyone one. The bios you’ve already seen will be the main focus to start with… M: Bit of everyone really. It’s a series, the first story will focus mainly on those we’ve already introduced.

Will there be other ships too? Like saphne, Polin or are they going to be just backstory?

A: it’s hopefully going to be a lovely nice mix of everything as we go through the ages... M: Yes, we have currently (partially) planned all couples up to Francesca, but they wont all appear at once (you guys do know it’s all just gonna be Benophie right < thats a joke)

Can’t wait to see your university AU - please say there will be a university ball or something similar where Kate will blow Anthony’s mind with her amazing outfit

A: it’s something that if it fits with the story we’d look to do…so maybe 🤷‍♀️who knows M: maybe, it’s not something we’ve really thought of, but will definitely look into it. Can’t say there was many stunning people at my sports ball but 👀

How many chapters are you doing?

A: ha given our planning document and ideas… god knows. M: no idea - but the plan is to currently split the university years into separate fic, all going under one series, so it hopefully will be easier to navigate for the future.

Will each sibling have a separate story?

A: stories will be told and weaved but it won’t be separate. They will intermingle M: if you mean like the books, no.

Who is your favourite character by now?

A: oooooo now that would be telling. M: Someone I cannot disclose…

How often chapters will appear?

A: once a week at a minimum we both work full time. May has Uni and I have a PT job and we have other series we do separate and prompts so… depends on how we are feeling but at least once M: Hopefully once a week - maybe twice if we’re feeling nice, maybe none if we’re completely bogged down

Will we see more characters than the ones you have already introduced us to?

A: definitely… like I said… expect the unexpected 😂😂 M: ALL OF THEM (well not all… but there will be more characters)

Hey when is your new fanfiction (the one you collaborated) is coming? Will it come after you've completed your All Fair and Wildest Dreams ?

A: As we’ve said above its coming 4th July so no. I shall still be working on All’s Fair and Wildest Dreams annnnd Baby Bridgertons and the prompts I get (i’m insane I know) oh and the other little pices of work I have on my “to write” list… AF is starting to come to a close anyway and WD will be winding down as well… but i have little one shots planned May will still be working on Poison and Wine and The Core of You as well, which if you’ve not read I highly recommend!

What are somethings you'd like to say about your fic?

A: If you all hate it… and don’t get all soft and squishy in parts then well I’m just gonna quit writing. M: if you guys all hate it, I’m going to be sad, so just pretend to like it ye?

Like are Saphne already a couple or will they be but the fic won't mention it

A: All will be revealed as we go... M: let’s just say there’s only one couple when we start off

Are the dad's alive?

A: We’re doing flashbacks, adorable cuteness and all the rest of it… M: they’ll be featured in our story, flashbacks and all that jazz

Will your new fan fic be very angsty?🥺

A: this is us… it’ll have a bit of EVERYTHING M: um maybe, fluffy, angsty, smutty, all of the above

#bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #benedict bridgerton #sophie beckett #simon basset #bridgerton fanficton #Bridgerton au #bridgerton fic #uni au

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animator19 · 7 years ago

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Interview with Alex Hirsch from after he had finished Gravity Falls

https://www.themarysue.com/alex-hirsch-interview/

Alex Hirsch: My main goal after Gravity Falls was finished was to take a vacation a BIG one and I spent about a year doing everything I couldn’t do while I was serving solitary confinement at Disney. I visited Hawaii, Japan, Portland, Burning Man. I did conventions in New York, Russia, Rio. My goal was to say “yes” to anything that wasn’t work. Sort of like Grunkle Stan on his worldwide boat tour with Ford, I needed some time away from the shack. But GF is a weirdness magnet after all and I can’t resist its pull forever. When Disney asked if I’d want to do Journal #3 I said yes immediately. It’s the number one thing I’d want to read if I was a fan, so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

Kaiser: Was the Journal done in stages? i.e. was the original draft for the black light version, or did you have to come back and do that once the sales proved viable?

Hirsch: Definitely stages, the very first thing I asked when they brought up the possibility of doing a journal was whether we could include the black light messages, but we were told that it would be way too expensive and to just try to forget about it. Then when the book came out and was topping the NYT bestseller list, Disney Publishing agreed to release a special edition for the superfans and give me my dream of black lights.

The challenge then was to try to fit the new messages over the old pages as though they always belonged. But these are fun challenges. Probably the hardest part was on the “Floating Eyeballs” page—there’s a spot where you see text coming from under a Polaroid. But in the Special Edition Journal, the polaroid is finally removable, so I needed to think of sentences that would credibly end with the words you’ve already seen

Kaiser: On that subject, Disney never seemed particularly keen on releasing much GF merch. Has the success of Journal 3 re-opened the conversation on things like the BluRay set?

Hirsch: The day that Disney bought Star Wars (AFTER buying Marvel) was the day I knew my merch dreams for Gravity Falls were basically toast. The company is too huge and we’re barely a blip on the radar to their consumer products division. Luckily the enduring popularity of the show has resulted in a few departments within the company sticking their neck out and trying cool experiments like journal 3. Everyone was surprised by the success of the journal except the fans. Their appetite for more continues to impress even this long after the end of the show. I’m hoping those numbers increase our likelihood of getting a DVD but I can’t make any promises.

Kaiser: Were you involved in getting The Mystery of Gravity Falls (@TheMysteryofGF) permission to do what is (according to them) small batches of sanctioned merch like the stone Bill figure and Grunkle Stan bobbleheads?

Hirsch: That guy is like my guardian angel. He’s some kind of brilliant, crazed super-fan who understands the show better than Disney ever did. Honestly, I don’t know how he contacted Disney and got the sanctioned merch—he’s some kind of wizard. I hope he runs the company one day.

[Note: I reached out to @TheMysteryofGF to check on this. Turns out I was slightly incorrect in my question. They have worked in conjunction with Disney on at least one occasion, but for the most part the merchandise they’ve made available has been of their own initiative, sometimes with help from an outside contractor. They also work with Bioworld, who provides the GF license to Hot Topic, in creating certain items.]

Kaiser: How did you approach fan interaction during the series? The codes are obviously built into the show from the get-go, but did you think it would catch on like it did? Did the response require you to adjust planned fan engagement on the fly?

Hirsch: The scope, size, influence and presence of fandom culture has gone through a complete and total revolution between now and when I first pitched Gravity Falls in 2011. Keep in mind- my first job was on Flapjack back in 2008-ish. Back then, you would release a cartoon into the ether, and it would basically disappear into a black void after airing. There’d be maybe two drawings on DeviantArt, maybe a message board with a few comments, and that was it.

That was the entirety of online feedback between cartoons and creators at the time. (And even those paltry scraps of feedback were still huge compared to fandoms when I was growing up. There was nobody in 1991 willing to die to make sure that their ship of Tommy Pickles and Reptar came to fruition. At least no one with a way of getting that opinion in front of Klasky-Csupo)

Tumblr’s rise happened just around the same time as Gravity Falls‘s premiere in 2012, so I was totally unprepared for the level of passion and engagement and fan art that would happen. I had to evolve along with all this in real time as it happened.

Kaiser: I always found it curious that you’d hold Twitter Q&As, but then delete the answers within a day.

Hirsch: Probably the best formats for answering questions were Reddit AMAs—I enjoyed doing two of those—and interviews. I occasionally answer questions on twitter when the mood strikes me, but Twitter is a TERRIBLE place for meaningful discourse.

Twitter has an ephemeral conversational glibness built into its core, but it ironically also has this incentive to cast every word said in bronze and isolate it from its context. It’s like if everything you said at a dinner party with every guest was carved into the wall and permanently became part of the house decorations. I’ll frequently prune my twitter posts to keep my feed clean from the residue of 100 little back and forths. Even if I tried to leave everything up, it disappears into the feed anyway. No matter how many times I say “There is no Season 3” people will never stop asking.

Kaiser: Obviously, that’s got to be a trial and error process. Any regrets?

Hirsch: I honestly don’t have many regrets from my engagement with fans, because everything that happens, positive and negative, is a learning experience and teaches me something about our world and the culture we live in. And overwhelmingly it has been positive. Back in the pre-fandom-culture days I never could have imagined I’d get such an overwhelming tidal wave of creative, kind, validating responses to my work. It’s every creator’s dream. It’s absolutely worth any weird prickly trolls or growing pains that come along with it and I’m insanely grateful.

Kaiser: The Cipher Hunt had to be an enormous undertaking to put together. How’d you go about organizing it? Did you ever take part in any ARGs (Augmented Reality Games) yourself that inspired you?

Kaiser: The Cipher Hunt was the most fun thing I’ve ever done.

I’ve never been part of any real-world treasure hunts, but as someone who grew up with games like MYST I love puzzles; the idea of doing one in the real world was too tempting to pass up.

The entire thing was organized by me and my buddy Ian Worrel, Gravity Falls‘ Emmy-winning art director. I’m a restless idea guy and he’s this master executor/craftsman—we were both totally in love with the idea of using our newfound free time to put something together totally for the fun of it, to build this strange Rube Goldberg Device and then watch how the fans would interact with it in real time.

Kaiser: Did you split up duties as far as where to put what? Who made the statue?

Hirsch: The statue was made by a brilliant props/effects fabricator in LA, Fon Davis of Fonco, a friend of a friend who was willing to make something weird for a price. Ian did most of the intellectual legwork in terms of figuring out which clues would lead to where, and I wrote all the actual codes. We took a road trip up to Oregon together to hide some of the final clues and had a lot of fun.

I hid the clue in Russia personally, which was a little terrifying. I knew if I got caught trying to hide a tiny magnetic capsule with a code scroll rolled up into it, Putin might not take to kindly to the optics of that. But Bill Cipher was smiling down on me that day and it went without a hitch.

Kaiser: Shifting a bit to the series itself: I recall you mentioning that the writing for season 2 had to be somewhat rethought because so many people had figured out the Author’s identity. Did that change how you wrote Ford’s arc? Were there other things you wanted to explore in general, given more time?

Hirsch: The truth is, no matter how many grand plans you have in your head, no matter what tentpole plot points or ideas you imagine, everything changes when you actually sit down to write. You discover what the show is as you make it through collaboration, trial and error, and what feels right.

In your question, you say season 2 had to be “rethought” but that implies that there was this already finished season 2 totally written out in our minds. But that’s not the case. All we knew after Season 1 was over was “Ford comes out of the portal. Bill probably creates the apocalypse. Dipper & Mabel complete their arcs. Fun stuff happens in the meantime.”

Figuring out how it all fits together in the writers’ room, discovering new things and surprising yourself—that’s the fun part of writing. We didn’t really know who Ford was, from a personality perspective, until we sat down to try to write him. The same is true of Dipper, Mabel, Grunkle Stan, and Bill. You learn as you go.

Kaiser: Fascinating! I suppose I must’ve heard about very early discussion, and extrapolated … as GF fans are wont to do. How embarrassing.

Hirsch: Casting also hugely affects a character. You have an idea of what a character is like in the writing room, but then when the actor comes in, everything can change. We cast JK Simmons as Ford late in the process. He was instantly perfect, but changed how we thought about the character. Regarding things I would love to explore if I could go back in time, I would definitely add a full episode about Wendy if I had the chance. We always wanted to give her more, but we never quite cracked a story that worked for us. But I do think she deserved more!

I deliberately tried to give her more of a role in Mabelcorn and Weirdmageddon Part 1 to make up for the lack of Wendy elsewhere. Linda Cardellini was amazing to work with. She gave the character such a grounded performance. Really was exciting to watch her work.

Kaiser: One of the issues around the show was representation/diversity, and there were a lot of rumors about what Disney would/wouldn’t allow—the little old ladies falling in love in “The Love God” is probably the most famous example. Any comment?

Hirsch: Definitely. If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I’ve never been shy about discussing my frustrations with Disney’s censors and this was one of the most frustrating incidents of all. Back on “Love God” there was a scene in the script that described a few random couples in a diner falling in love in through the power of cupid’s magic.

When one of our storyboard artists presented the scene to me, she’d made one of the couples two lovable old ladies. It was sweet and casual and I knew INSTANTLY that it was going to turn into a huge fight with Disney. So naturally I left it in. The note came back immediately “The scene of the two old ladies kissing in the diner is not appropriate for our audience. Please revise.” I responded with a one word answer: “Why?”

This basically broke the censors. The couldn’t think of a single way to phrase an answer to that question so they made me talk on the phone so there would be no paper trail. They were terrified of sounding like bigots—but I honestly don’t think they were bigots, I think they were cowards. They basically admitted that there was no good reason why I should change it, but that they get complaints about this stuff from various homophobic parents and would rather avoid the headache, and couldn’t I just drop it?

I said that if we did that we were basically just being held hostage by bigots and screw that, lets rise above this crap and just pull the trigger. The worst thing that can happen is that we get some letters. Who cares? Disney’s a giant company, we can survive some letters from some cranks. I don’t think they necessarily disagreed—but there’s no incentive in their job to say yes to things. But I kept going back to them.

We probably had 6 or so conversations about it. It’s one of the only times I had a face to face meeting with the censors. I didn’t want to go back to my board artist and tell her that I lost this fight. I wanted to win, and I wanted to set a precedent, and I argued that little things like this could mean the world to people and that anyone who was pissed off deserved to be pissed off. But despite my greatest efforts it finally came down to “change the scene or we’ll cut it out of the episode ourselves.”

I felt awful reporting to the artist that I’d lost this one. But I didn’t stop trying. In the last episode, I had the two police offers, Blubs and Durland, flat out say they loved each other, and I didn’t get a single note. I think the censors were finally less scared of complaining parents than they were of having to deal with how annoying I am again.

Since then, times have thankfully changed. I hear that Disney has allowed same-sex couples in Star Vs the Forces of Evil, and the Nickelodeon has done the same in Loud House. Both studios are way behind CN and what they’ve done with Steven Universe, but progress, slowly but surely, is being made. I would love to see a new Disney animated show have the guts to show a proper same-sex kiss on air. One of these networks is going to do it—I encourage Disney to keep growing and be the first.

[Note: We now enter the portion where I completely gave into my fannish id for a second. I hope you’ll all forgive me.]

Kaiser: Two things, purely to satisfy my curiosity as a fan: A) did Pacifica stay with her parents post-series? It seemed like a seriously bad situation, guardianship wise. B) what WOULD Bill have done if Ford had decided (that is, been dumb enough) to take him up on his offer?

Hirsch: I think a lot of fans read more than I meant into the awfulness of Pacifica’s parents. I never imagined them as being abusive, just very controlling—living vicariously through their daughter, treating her like a prize more than a person. I grew up in a town with some rich families and it was something I witnessed more than once—parents trying to make their kids extensions of their own reputation. Pacifica is still only a kid, so I think she’d continue to live with them, but I think she’d start to have a very needed rebellious phase to discover who she is outside of her family name.

I definitely imagined Pacifica getting a side job at Greasey’s Diner working with Lazy Susan after the family lost their mansion. I think learning the value of a dollar and having to interact with the town riff-raff would be good for her.

Re: What Bill might have done, like all things that happen off camera, that question has no true canon answer. But if I had to speculate, in my gut I think Bill would have incinerated Ford on the spot the moment he got the formula to shut down the barrier. I don’t see Bill as a romantic, sweet, or charitable character. He’s a psychopath who takes what he can get. He sees people as toys and when he gets bored of playing with them tosses them aside. I think at that point he was done playing.

Kaiser: Makes sense. There’s a decided inclination to read Bill as being sincerely impressed with Ford on some level because that’s the trope (i.e. Q in Star Trek), but it’s not quite in keeping with how things shook out, is it?

Hirsch: That’s not how I imagine Bill. I see him as a serial manipulator. While he’s “seducing” you with flattery his brain is somewhere else imagining playing ping-pong with a severed head. But people are free to imagine any headcanon they like! I’m genuinely excited by other people’s interpretation of the characters–but I never forget my own.

Kaiser: Is there a story behind that doodle you and Roiland (the creator of Rick & Morty) did of Rick and Stan? That’s a crossover that’s never coming, I’m sure, but I love the cross-show elements.

Hirsch: There’s been a lot of hay made out of the little winks about Gravity Falls in Rick & Morty, and vice versa, the truth is just that we’ve been friends since before we had TV shows, and enjoy messing with people. Although if we WERE planning something big we’d definitely deny it—so I guess you’ll never know!

Kaiser: You left one seriously huge plot thread open with Bill’s coded message in the finale and then the secret Axolotl page of the Choose Your Own Adventure book. Is that something you might come back to, or just a mystery for the fans to chew on?

Hirsch: In terms of Bill’s secret message … I like stories that complete their emotional arcs, but still leave some lingering threads to chew on. It gives the fans something to theorize on, and it gives me a window back into that world if I ever choose to return to it.

Kaiser: Do you have a medium you’d prefer? Or would it just depend at the time?

Hirsch: All depends on my schedule—and the creative urge. I’m involved in a number of projects right now, so it’s hard to say. Comics are definitely a possibility. And maybe a special one day. Honestly my dream would have been to do a Gravity Falls theatrical feature—Disney discussed it with me for a while, but ultimately (and probably rightfully) determined the show wasn’t big enough to warrant it. But if some lunatic wanted to give me 50 million dollars to make a Gravity Falls movie I’d probably do it!

Kaiser: Is there anything you can say about your other project (the one you publicly announced for Fox, or anything else), or is it too soon?

Hirsch: It’s too soon to say anything specific. I will say that Gravity Falls opened a huge number of doors and opportunities for me but I’m being careful not to announce anything until the time is right. (And most of the announcements and leaks you’ll see online about various things I’ve been involved with have been either inaccurate or premature) I can say that I have been working on a feature project that hasn’t leaked online (if you think you know what it is, you’re wrong!) that I’m very very excited about, but owing to the nature of the parties involved I can’t say anything. I’m counting down the days until I get to announce what it is.

Kaiser: As a closer, you published a series of tweets not long ago about the stigma against being allowed to fail that animators face. Do you have any advice for them?

Hirsch: Haha! Oh, that. My latest tweetstorm was specifically about a trend I see in animated series development, where executives will “develop” a show to death and waste time, money, and goodwill trying to come up with a risk-proof TV pilot. But every creative act is inherently risky. The key is to create an environment where risk is encouraged, and failures have as small a cost as possible. I believe failure is the first step to success. The key is to fail as quickly as possible and try again. To treat failure not as a terrifying ending but rather as an opportunity to learn something.

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survivorcordillerablanca · 7 years ago

Text

Episode 8 Confessionals

This is long overdue but I've been busy because my brother got married woooo! Okay so FINALLY WE MERGED! Jordan and I survived the hell tribe and we made it here. We had to lose Jay which absolutely sucks, I feel terrible for voting him out but I did what I think was the right thing. The biggest piece of news is that I was literally on the merge tribe for like 10 minutes and ended up FINDING THE IMMUNITY IDOL!! I WAS SO SHOCKED I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! I haven't told anybody about it but I might....MIGHT....tell Jordan about it to show that I do trust him after wavering so much on my decision about potentially voting him out. We have an auction coming up, I hope I get something really cool from it! Bryce told me that he was the one that gave me the idol but Zach told me that he was the one that pushed for him to give it to me so I'm thankful to the both of them for that. I think I could get good with Carson, Zach, Bryce and Charlotte. Katie and I have bonded over our love of true crime, she's super nice and her connection to Jordan Pines is incredibly strong so we can do this. I believe that Copa isn't dead just yet.

finally got into an alliance with charlotte and chris

i bid well at the auction and got a nifty apple that lets me sit out for a round #blessed

Finding out someone I want to work with is an Amy Schumer fan.... maybe shouldn't work with them :/. Jk!! But am I even DKSFJSD

zack just sent me this message "and im in kuang si (it’s a main season, if you know what those are) asdjfk" I dont know how to respond to that

Merge sweet merge! Okay so I'm officiallly in an alliance with Katie and Charlotte. We're the Senior Citizens. Katie is playing up to Jordan that she doesn't have any allies in hopes of him telling her any potential people from Ulta who might flip. Meanwhile I have to PUBLICLY pick 3 people to go to the wishing well with me. Obviously taking the Senior Citizens, but I then decided on Bryce because he was the only person not mention by Jordan as someone he thinks he's working with. Immunity just happened and as of right now I feel content with my score but some people are insane and will destroy me. I really hope I win because I feel like I'll get cut as soon as the opportunity arises.

me two days ago: I should probably try to be less hostile towards JP. me today: DISADVANTAGE GOES TO JP. i'd say i'm sorry but that would be a lie.

am i up to date on confessionals

hope i dont go home probably should have used my advantage

We merged!!! and im stressed as hell. i have NO idea what im doing. chris won this wishing well thing in the auction and took katie, charlotte, and bryce. so it set off alarms to me and zach so we're working on the me/willow/zach thing we were planning on before, we just have mroe of a reason now. the plan is: vote jordan pines this first round (even though hes trying to talk strategy with me and if eel bad bc i told charlotte to use the disadvantage on him) recruit luke and katie and vote chris out at final 8 and thats our plan so far bc... its hard to plan things in survivor! yeah i have no idea i hate the merge especialyl when i know where NO ONE sits

Whose got two thumbs and flopped at immunity? THIS GUY. But it's all good. We have two clear outsiders in the form of luke and Jordan. I feel bad because I genuinely like luke. I'm hoping we can get rid of Jordan and then I can swoop up precious baby luke to use him to get some of the ulta's I'm not close with out. For now, me, Katie, Carson, and charlotte are going for Jordan unless something drastic happens.

I'm tired and I've been essentially goating myself this game yikes

So at this point, it's the morning of the first merge tribal. Exciting? Yes! Nerve-wracking? Yes! Willow won immunity. I lowkey was going to force a tie because I know any intellectual could get 5 at most (Willow's smart, so I just expected it) then her comp adv. of -2 would ensure her a win since 3 is theoretically impossible. SHE GOT TWO! Good on her though! I overall chose not to snatch her score because I felt really bad, and it was with someone whom I potentially was going to work it or would work with. Speaking of, Willow, Carson and I formed a trio alliance. We both comprehend that the two Copa need to go soon. I think it'll be Jordan Pines this vote. However, a) I don't want Luke to go JUST yet, as we can utilize him, and b) the votes might flip and ADIOS me! I also have worrying speculation of an alliance including the newbies. This is purely because of whom Chris decided to take on his little... trip to the wishing well. It's just a little suspicious, considering Carson admitted to me he talks to Chris relatively every other day, so it was shocking. Nonetheless, it's a game decision, doesn't matter much.. My game plan from this point forward is to just try to be fairly more social. I've been talking to Chris and Katie a lil more. I'm on relatively good terms with Luke. Carson and I are best buddies. Willow is a LEGEND! - then we have Bryce, a king who I don't talk to much but is iconic. Charlotte, a literal icon. Jordan Pines! (that name along speaks for itself). It's going, I guess. We'll see ^-^

So I finally found the wishing well thing and I completed my task yay!! I can now see who votes who for one tribal but idk when im gonna use it tbh. I think I'll tell carson about it b/c hes my number 1. But for this vote i'm hoping itll be easy and be one of jordan/luke just gotta talk to the other ulta people.

Okay so I think its just gonna be the easy vote of Jordan? Hope its not too easy and im not too complacent

Here's the thing. Anyone who has ever played with me before, or knows me, knows that I pretty much play the same game. I stick with my alliance and only turn on them when I need to ... I'm not one for cannibalizing the alliance too early. But ... I'm bored. Everyone's quiet, no one's exciting me, and I really just want to watch the world burn. Do I like Jordan? Eh. Will he make the season more exciting? Absolutely. If I can convince Katie and Carson, or maybe Zach, to vote for Jordan ... the game will flip upside down. I'm here for a little Chaos.

is Jordan gonna die tonight? the answer probs wont surprise you as YES. AHHHHH. IM GOING HOME FUCK FUCK FUCK ME, FUCK YOU RYAN TEDDY PALMER. I am trying to save myself but i may be all out of lives.

I'm watching Shookstralian Survivor and writing a confessional, I hear this episode is iconic so I'm preparing! Michelle is winning btw! Okay so back to Cordillera Blanca...I didn't win immunity...Jordan didn't win immunity which means that both of us are vulnerable at tribal and one of us could potentially be going home tonight which is worst case scenario. As of now I think the votes are going to Jordan and I would be open to playing my idol on him but I would need to be 100% certain that I'm not getting votes because I DO NOT want to idol myself out. If I lose Jordan this round I do still have my Golden Monkey Idol to fall back on at the next tribal council so hopefully that work out in my favour. Right now Jordan and I are trying to pull in Charlotte, Katie and Zach to make a majority of 5 so that we can take over this tribe. Stay tuned...;)

Did Jordan just save himself? MAYBE?????? If all goes according to plan, me zach luke, charlotte and carson will vote for chris and blindside him 5-4. So #letsnotkilljordanpines

Omg so I have a randomized vote this round which really sucks but I sent in a fake vote so if people ask I can hopefully trick them also I'm shook I won immunity with4 guesses

So... charlotte wants to flip and zach does too which.. i gues?? djksd we with jordan andl uke.. a VERY tight duo pretty much, and its gonna be hard to break that, so we cant let them get far. but getting chris out right now?? idk if its right. im still a bit bitter over him not taking me to the wishing well [3:59:22 PM] Jordan Pines: same here <3 [4:00:34 PM] carson: (y) if i hear anything i tell u but just know I'm down with u lukle charlotte and zach [4:00:46 PM] Jordan Pines: same here <3 also jordan sent the same message to me twice which.. kinda shady but like i hope its not anything bad?? if he rats us out i dont think im the biggest target but like.. ya never know in this game. also idk if my social game is good bad or whatever, buti m hoping its good and it can propel me to a victory?? zach keeps saying hes my lapdog andj ust.. uh i dont want that i want to be equal allies. whatevs?? idk. also willow's vote is apparently randomized from what zach said and charrlote found where the iodl was hidden but it waas found so someone else has it... so idk. IDK i feel like flipping on the entire tribe and doing 5-4 the first vote is soooo risky. im thinking that me/zach can tell willow we're voting chris even though her vote is randomzied so she cant rlly do anything?? she doesnt talk a lot of strategy because she takes awhile to respond but she's cool and id definitely say i trust her more than most people here. like bryce, i cant read him or chris. katie's cool but i feel like shes a bit fake to me like saying how much she trusts me when we dont talk that much?? and charlotte/jordan/luke just give weird vibes idk. only person i trust 100% is zach ig uess because we talk 24/7 and hes cool. hope this vote can go as planned, and im still kinda having cold feet, but like... i dont wanna lose jury votes so i either commit or go home.

hi can i have an episode title i came up with someone very clever here it goes: Why are all my tribe mates children like hey whats up welcome to lord of the fucking flies.

So this vote for the longest time was going to be Jordan. I was going to stick with it, but knowing me, I don't like boring games and it'd be predictable to do that. Charlotte came to me about voting out Chris. Not that directly, I guess, but mentioned flipping. I was down for it, but I wanted to talk to Carson. LUCKILY, she wanted to include Carson to, so we made an alliance ^-^ I believe right now the vote is sailing for Chris. I feel bad but it's the game, and you gotta do what you gotta do. No hard feelings. The game is tough. WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS ALL THE TIME ARGHGH

#NotAGameForLapdogs

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