#jihyun's mother

[pastelsapphy]

"I tried to be like a father to you, Luciel." V's eyes, more cloudy with each passing day, are sad.

Saeyoung's eyes, in contrast, are hard and cold. He hopes that V has enough sight left to see the hatred in them, blazing like hellfire. He feels a sort of twisted satisfaction that it could be the last thing he sees with those once oh-so-honest eyes.

"Well," Saeyoung says, "we both know I've never had much luck with fathers."

[natasha-in-space]

Absolutely crying my eyes out over this beautiful message, oh my God T_T

[minniesmutt]

⚠︎ ━━━ IN...

⚠︎ ━━━  SS + WC: 8 + 2K

⚠︎ ━━━  CONTENT: ANXIETY, TOXIC EX,

     “I’m here,” Y/n breathed as she approached the building

      “Okay. There’s a parking garage next to the building. Park in there. i gave the building management your car description so they shouldn’t say anything about you parking here.”

     “Alright.”

     Y/n followed his instructions and found a spot to park. 

     “I’m gonna meet you in the lobby. can you get over there for me?”

     “Yeah. can you stay on the phone?”

     “of course.”

     Y/n switched her phone off the car stereo and turned off her car. She grabbed her stuff and got out of her car. making her way towards the door where it said “LOBBY”

     She could hear Jeongin on the over end with Deiji; could even hear the little coos and babbles.

     “Astrid and ji are almost here by the way. should be another ten minutes till they get Deiji. Have you eaten dinner yet?”

     “No. I was trying to figure out what to eat when Jihyun texted me…”

     “Okay. We’ll order dinner. You can stay over in my guest room so you don’t have to go home.”

     “You don’t have to do that for me,” y/n said, opening the door and entering the lobby

     “Y/n, you’re creating a whole human inside of you. The least I can do is buy you food and give you a sense of safety.”

     She heard an elevator ding before she saw the doors opening and Jeongin walking out with a baby girl in his arms. he ended the call and quickly made his way over to her. y/n met him halfway and wrapped her arms around him. 

     “You’re okay,” Jeongin said as he held her against him. 

     “Thank you,” Y/n muttered

     “Come on,” Jeongin ushered her towards the elevators and took her up to his unit. getting her settled on the couch as soon as they got in.

     Jeongin put Deiji down in one of the stand-up toys and sat with Y/n

     “Still shaken up?” he asked 

     “Yeah,” y/n sighed 

     “Does he have your location?” 

     “No. I turned it off when we broke up.”

     “Still texting you?” 

     “Don’t know. ended up muting the conversation.”

     “Can I see?”

     Y/n nodded and handed him her unlocked phone. Jeongin took it from her hand.

 “Sorry. That was the only thing I could think of,” Jeongin sighed 

     “It’s fine,” Y/n sniffled

     “Come here,” Jeongin pulled her into his arms.

     Y/n wrapped her arms around him and hid herself in his chest. “I’m sorry…”

     “You don’t need to be sorry,” Jeongin told her.

     Y/n buried her face in Jeongin’s chest as Deiji hit one of her toys. The baby toys filled the silence as Jeongin did his best to comfort the mother of his child. A knock at the door interrupted it. 

    Y/n jumped a bit and Jeongin checked his phone. Seeing the texts from his two friends that they were there. “Just Ji and (Astrid).”

     Jeongin unraveled himself from her and got the door. Letting his two friends inside. Y/n said hi to the couple and (Astrid) checked on her. Jisung grabbed his daughter and the diaper bag. 

     The two didn’t stay long, letting the new soon-to-be-parents be. Jeongin locked the door and walked back over to the couch. Settling back down next to her and grabbed his phone, “Dinner?” 

     “‘M not hungry…”

     “You don’t have to eat it right away, but you need to eat,” Jeongin said

     Y/n nodded in response. Jeongin quickly ordered something he knew she’d eat before pulling her back into his arms.

     “You’re good at taking care of people,” Y/n said

     “Can thank (Astird) for that,” Jeongin said

     “So she told me. Putting you through hell,” Y/n said

     “Yeah. But I wouldn't change anything in my life.”

     “Even us sleeping together and getting pregnant?”

     “No. I wouldn’t change it.”

     The two sat on the couch— only getting up to eat which Jeongin was proud he got her to do when the food got there. Ending up with her laying back against him, his hands rubbing her belly. A random Netflix show playing on the TV. Y/n looked down at his fingers gently drumming on her belly. For a moment, living in a little fantasy that they were a little family. 

     “You okay?” Jeongin asked

     “Yeah,” Y/n nodded, not realizing she started crying 

     “Why are you crying?” Jeongin sat up more 

     “Don’t know,” Y/n said, wiping away the tears.

     Jeongin grabbed the box of tissues from the coffee table and handed it to her. Y/n thanked him and wiped away the tears more as he rubbed her back. “You want to talk about it?”

     “No.” Y/n shook her head

     “What do you need?”

     “Think I just need to sleep.”

     Jeongin nodded and helped her up from the couch. Leading her down the hallway of the penthouse to the guest room. “Text me if you need anything. Okay? And I’m just over there if I don't reply.”

     “Thanks,” Y/n smiled and walked into the room. She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed. 

     Y/n sighed and set her phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers of the bed. Trying to get some sleep but she was too worried to sleep. Eventually giving up and walking down the hallway to Jeongin’s room. The door was opened and he wasn’t inside so she wandered out to the living room.

     The TV was still playing while he was sitting on the couch with his phone. He looked over as he heard her walking in. “Thought you were sleeping.”

     “Tried, can’t.”

     “You wanna talk?”

     Y/n nodded and sat next to him, “Do you think I can stay for the week? just the whole thing with—“

     “Yeah. That’s fine. I can take you to get some stuff from your place tomorrow,” Jeongin answered 

     “Thank you,” Y/n smiled 

     “Something else bugging you?” 

     “Yeah, but nothing for you to worry about.”

     “I’m going to worry either way.”

     “Just, earlier when i was crying, i got in my head for second about us being a real family. And then i remembered we weren’t together and I always thought when I got pregnant I'd be in a relationship and getting to have a family.”

     “And it’s hurting you’re not?”

     “Just a little. That’s not on you though. we agreed to co-parent and that’s that. I think it just hurts more because I’m actually starting to like you in a romantic sense but—“

     Jeongin nodded, “What if we tried?”

     “In, you don’t —“

     “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t feel the same, Y/n.”

     “Huh?”

     “Okay,” Jeonging turned to face her, “I’d be an idiot not to admit I thought you were pretty when we were at S-class, even though we were drunk and didn’t remember anything. I’d also be dumb not to say I’ve thought about us as a family, dating and raising a kid. My family already likes you, which is a bonus. I’m not saying I'm in love because this is all fresh and it doesn’t feel like we’re there, but I do like you as more than a friend or someone I'm raising a kid with.”

     Y/n looked at him, tears welling in her eyes before she leaned for and wrapped her arms around him. Jeongin wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. “I know you're dealing with your ex but my offer is going to stay as long as we have the baby.”

     “I wanna try,” Y/n said as she pulled away from the hug, “I’m tired of Jihyun holding onto my life when he fucks it up. I wanna move on from that.”

     “We’ll go slow then, not rush anything.” 

     “Okay,” Y/n nodded as Jeongin wiped her tears 

     “Okay,” Jeongin answered, “How about we get some sleep and go out for breakfast in the morning after getting some stuff from your place.”

     “I’d like that.”

     “Come on,” Jeongin helped her up again

     “Can you… stay with me? maybe?” Y/n asked

     “Yeah.”

     Jeongin led her to his room and let her get the bed before him. Jeongin climbed into the bed behind her and wrapped an arm around her, laying his hand on her growing stomach. Y/n smiled to herself as she laid her hand over his and closed her eyes.

⚠︎ ━━━━━ M. LIST ⚠︎ PREV ⚠︎ NEXT

⚠︎ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

T A G S ⚠︎ @highlydestiny @lakoya @lilyuwon @2mins-world @caitlyn98s @mamieishere @innieandsungielover @hanniemylovelyquokka @rylea08 @kpopjackie @20crowsinahoodie @weasleys-wizard-weasleys @moonlight-the-writer @the-sweetest-rose @bandolls @asahisimpnation @vegetablesarefuntables @minkyugseokie @kangyeonie @ninisoul-space @dessianna1 @kibs-and-bits @aaliyaoaoah @tinyelfperson @minhwa @armystay89 @skzhoes @kiko-o-luck @puppy-minnie @skzswife @cookiesandcreammy @yjeonginlvr @alice-went-away @aalexyuuuhm @rockstarkkami @wh0re4mingi @4ln-stay8 @hrskt @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @porangporangmeong @kkamismom12 @highkeyinlovewithhanjisung @palindrome969 @alliumnightmare @thatgirlkay @borahae-reads @4l17h4 @realrintaro

highlighted blue? check you visibility settings as im unable to tag you properly 

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[astvrook]

洪水 | YANDERE THEMES | SUNGHOON.

when the «prince of the city» becomes the villain, his subjects are left unprotected from his ruthless reign even in the deepest darkness, and sunghoon, the minister's son, always carried with him the heady scent of his mother's favourite nina ricci lotion and an infectious, carefree, almost childlike smile. yet something about him disturbs the atmosphere, inducing a drop in temperature in the room as he enters, regardless of the season.

sunghoon's a masked angel, whose light fades at the emergence of the inner demon he harbours, being the culprit for the crimes committed on this earth. can be visualised manipulating the minds of those around him; with every apology and promise of amends after his cries, his parents forgive him despite knowing of his repeated wrongdoing. raised to outdo everyone in town, sunghoon's parents excused him again and again.

in the world of opulence, corruption lurks, and he shows no intention of slowing down, and true for you, you remained practically invisible to the park family due to your economic position, which allowed you to remain hidden from their eyes, but everything changed on halloween night.

when, in your boyfriend's house, an individual with an intense gaze and an unrelenting temper took control of his perfect aesthetic and the image of him sent shivers down your spine. sporting traditional day of the dead make-up, where the monochromatic combination creates a singular skull, adorned with flames, bloody roses and scars; his lack of eyes is unsettling.

you ask yourself "what dark impulse drove jihyun, with his flawed mind, to provoke park sunghoon like that?", because park had no intention of stopping.

«¡please let me go!».

it's too late for you, and you can't do anything to stop what's about to happen, so you just huddle in the corner of the room and cover your ears.

jihyun's head is bowed, blood dripping to the ground, moans and sobs escaping his lips. as the fear and pain reflect in his empty eyes and his screams echo, you find him pathetic for facing the demon with no defensive skills, while sunghoon's smile is indifferent to the suffering of others and seems to feed on pain.

dumb. dumb. dumb.

before you know it, sunghoon places your boyfriend's windpipe under his foot and takes his life in a single blow. for a moment, you are captivated as you watch him, yet at that precise moment, the world stops and you meet he's piercing gaze.

"are you enjoying watching?" he asks and takes the baseball bat and slowly brings the blood to his mouth, savouring every glistening drop. then, for the sheer fun of it, he approaches jihyun and slaps his ribs hard, an ominous cracking sound being heard.

as he approaches your presence, confesses: "it angers me to be spied on, darling."

you're paralysed, naked except for the lingerie you're wearing, as sunghoon revels in your discomfort. in panic, you try to escape, but he catches you and pushes you against the wall. with a threatening voice, he warns you that you shouldn't try to run away, at least not yet, and in tears, you beg for mercy, but he shuts you up abruptly.

slowly, he tastes you with malice, sensing every sensation on your skin as your fear grows. this night, he considers you his favourite prank.

"why settle for a mere piece of dying flesh when you can become my possession," whispers, and savours the taste of blood on his teeth, expressing his insatiable hunger. "you can't expose a lamb to a wolf and expect it not to want to devour it," he declares.

on that dark night, sunghoon is ravenous for you.

LISTA MAESTRA DE ENHYPEN.

[barsformars]

Lemonade

//

g - pure fluff

p - wooyoung x f! reader

w.c - 1023

t.w - none

c - you help out at wooyoung’s brother school carnival and get mistaken for his parents.

a.n - idk what inspired me to write this but i think its quite cute and i want a love like this frfr

//

it’s two in the afternoon on a saturday and you somehow find yourself in an indoor sports hall surrounded by parents and their elementary school children for their school induction carnival.

“so why am i here again?” you leaned back to whisper into wooyoung’s ears, smiling at the group of young teachers walking past your lemonade stand as they gushed about how they weren’t aware kyungmin parents were this young and beautiful.

“please give lots of love to kyungmin!” wooyoung waved at them with a bright smile which was reciprocated with even bigger smiles and head nods. “seems like kyungmin’s going to be popular,” wooyoung commented. the teachers weren’t the only ones, other parents seemed to share the same sentiment.

you pushed wooyoung’s fringe to the side, clearing his view as he sliced up more lemons. he surely is very handsome, and so you said, “i think you’re the one they care about.”

he laughed under his breath, creasing the corners of his eyes and revealing his dimples clearer than ever. “well, kyungmin is lucky to have such a good looking brother,” wooyoung added on.

you pouted upon hearing that as you pointed at the badge you had pinned on your shirt — ‘kyungmin’s mom’. wooyoung reasoned that they didn’t have time to get it reprinted since his parents had urgent matters to attend to. they felt bad pulling out last minute since it was also on volunteer basis and the school needed as much support as they could get. you had suggested writing over it but he whined that it would be ugly, and also harmless even if they mistook the both of you for his parents.

“i feel like i’m committing fraud,”you confessed softly, “this is the first time the parents are meeting each other, and we aren’t even actually them.”

wooyoung was about to lean in for a peck when a customer arrived at the stall with her daughter, ordering two cups of iced lemonade. he quickly puts on his million-dollar smile, his voice laced with honey as he sweetly makes small talk. “what class is our pretty jihyun in?” he asked, his gentle eyes shifting from her name tag to her little face.

you did your part by pouring the drinks and covering the lids before passing them to wooyoung, who very swiftly wrote a cute note on the cups while still holding the conversation.

“kyungmin eomma, your husband is so sweet, you’re so lucky!” the lady called out to you. you awkwardly thanked her and you can already see the weird faces wooyoung was making at you from the corner of your eyes.

once the lady and her daughter had walked away, you pushed his cheek towards the other side. you didn’t want him to notice how your own were starting to flush. you didn’t want to admit that you enjoyed having wooyoung being referred to as your husband, especially not when neither of you have ever brought up tying the knot yet.

“so i was going to say that you’re basically kyungmin’s honorary mother at this point,” wooyoung said softly from behind you, his hands resting on the side of your hips. he attempted to peek at your face but you shunned, flustered. you still turned to face him, reminded by the fact that this was not the best place for public displays of affection.

“why are you blushing so hard?” wooyoung questioned, genuinely surprised. he had started to think you were getting immune to his ways of affection.

you cupped your face with your hands, wanting to gauge just how red you were — you were burning hot. it did not help that wooyoung was guessing what exactly got you feeling this way, and getting it on the second try.

“you like it when people call me your husband?” he teased. wooyoung knew you long enough to tell that you meant a ‘yes’ despite you pushing him away again. “do you want to be referred to as my wife?”

you shot him a look. it doesn’t hit the same.

“alright, i’ll settle with a one-sided marriage then,” wooyoung joked. “you have yet to proposed though, by the way.”

“would you want to marry me?” your gaze locked with his. if he was serious about it, you would be down for it too.

“of course,” wooyoung replied without hesitation, reaching out to take your hands in his. “i was just kidding earlier on though, i want to be the one proposing,” he clarified.

he had been thinking about bringing this topic up for quite some time but the two of you have been too busy pursuing your own careers. but wooyoung realised that if he kept letting that excuse stop him, it would never happen till he retires. he’s not going to make you wait that long, even if you were willing.

you swiftly checked your surroundings before sneaking a peck on his lips, “thank you for always wanting me in your life, i feel very loved.” you may have refused his initial invitation to help out at the carnival with him but it didn’t mean that you didn’t appreciate it. you were always the first person on his mind, and always the person he chooses to go to regardless of the matter.

“and thank you for wanting to be with me, i love you, lots,” wooyoung replied before engulfing you in his arms. he couldn’t wait to live out the rest of his life with you, going on exciting adventures or staying at home accompanying each other in silence or doing simple things like slicing up and juicing lemons in an elementary school’s indoor sports hall.

“you know what they say about making lemonade when life throws you lemons,” wooyoung said as he suppressed a smirk.

“uhuh…”

“what do you do then when life gives you love?”

you slapped him on the shoulder and lightly shoved him to the side. “this is not the best place for that kind of jokes, woo!”

[marshmallowprotection]

it’s 2am and i need my daily dose of angst

what are the most angstiest hcs you have for the choi twins? like genuinely heartbreaking ones

TW; Eating Problems, Emetophobia, Body Insecurity, Survivor's Guilt, Life Attempt / The Explosion, and the expected past-abuse warning for the Choi twins.

Ray physically recoils and sobs whenever his red roots start to come back in. A part of him is happy to see it because he thinks he may be able to have his original hair back someday, someday when all of the things his Savior told him are in the past and it's revealed that all of it had been a misunderstanding. He wants to believe that he'll be happy with Saeyoung again.

It's an overwhelming moment, but it's over just as soon as his fingers touch the vibrant red.

It burns.

It burns like he's been sent to Hell, and he screams. "Not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair!" Images of lies burn through his mind as the worst of the worst begins to settle in. Every vicious lie Rika told him tangled in with the images he's seen of his brother in the RFA, laughing, having fun, and living a life without him that he promised he'd never lead on his own.

Ray was abandoned, forgotten, and left behind.

This red is wrong.

This face is wrong.

These eyes are wrong.

This body is wrong, wrong, wrong—

The bleach burns his scalp before he has time to process what he's doing. He doesn't care how he removes the color, just that the color is removed as soon as possible, and that's why there's traces of pink in his hair... it's not intentional. It's what he misses every time he tries to stripe the color from his head. He always misses a few spots, and it's a damn wonder his hair doesn't look more patchy, but frying the color out of his scalp makes the bad feeling go away.

Until it comes back, of course.

Suit Saeran makes the sweetest of desserts. He makes them so he can stare at them just like he did in his childhood memories. The cake you saw in the dead of night when he mocked you? That cake is what his Mother used to make a mockery of him when he was hungry and all he had to eat was old slices of white bread. He hates white bread... he hates it so much because it tastes like the driest crumbs he had to eat to survive alongside Saeyoung.

You want to know the worst thing about salivating at a treat you're not allowed to have? You want it. You still want it even though you've been told you'll never be able to have what you want. You want it so bad that you'll run over every scenario in your mind to find a way to eat the smallest dollop and not get in trouble for it.

If you've spent a long time staring at something, you've imagined every scenario in the book to get into your clutches... and do you want to know the worst thing about those treats Saeran made to "taunt" you? He didn't eat them, either. He didn't eat the sweetest strawberry cake... he couldn't. Because, he remembers what it felt like to have food after denied for a few days after being brought to Mint Eye.

...And when he stopped screaming, they brought him food... and in that variety of food was a meal that anyone who was starving out of their mind could only dream of. You know what happened the exact second he took a bite of the sweetest thing on the place? It... tasted wrong. Every time he makes this particular treat, it tastes like poison. So, not only was he tormenting you, he was tormenting himself, that cake ended up on the floor because it tasted WRONG.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

MINT EYE IS WRONG.

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

VAE Ray spent a few days in the rubble. It's a wonder he was able to survive in the first place. Jihyun had an operation to save his life from the elixir AND the stab wound. He was in the hospital for at least two to three days, and the only person who could've found him happens to be the same person who brings him out of the country to heal and recuperate for two and half years.

Can you imagine what it felt like to be in the rubble of a building you intentionally destroyed? To lay there for hours as the ash, soot, and God knows what else floated in the air all around you? To know that you can't do anything right, that you can't DIE RIGHT, and all of the people who promised they'd never leave you—left you?

To be unable to scream out for help because your lungs feel charred, to be unable to move because your entire body has been scorched from one side to the other? What was the meaning of your life? All you can do is lay there in the rubble, sobbing, because you can't get up, and every time you fade in and out of consciousness, you think it might be for the last time and maybe you'll be at peace next time and not wake up.

Or, maybe you are dead and this is just the hell you deserve to be in because you were never good enough for heaven, that's what you feel the longer you stay there... and you know the worst part? When Ray is found by Jihyun, it's not relief he feels, it's anger and fear, because he thinks Jihyun was sent there to mock him, bringing him false hope to believe he wasn't abandoned, but also fear, because part of him really didn't want to die but he saw no other option.

And underneath all of that?

Relief that feels like delusion because someone came back for him but it feels like it's too late to save his life.

SE Saeran doesn't sleep well at night. He lashes out, he kicks, and he screams. He has night terrors about Mint Eye. He has nightmares all about that place no matter how far away he is from that building and what it did to him. He has episodes where he wakes up and thinks he is back in his office, trembling, shaking, and his body pushes him to look for his desk to start working as soon as possible because he isn't in the mood to be punished again.

Nothing can stop these episodes, and while he is getting therapy and doing better during the daytime, nothing stops his nightmares, and it does keep him from sleeping with his possible partner. He has to stay in his own bed, possibly even his own room, while you video call each other from other sides of the house, and as painful as that is, it helps him feel safer than he would if he were to hurt you during one of the episodes.

God, you want to know the worst ones?

It's when he wakes up, screaming, and he has no choice but to sprint into the bathroom his brother built into his room to help him feel way more in control over his environment. He's sick, and once he's able to pull himself away from the toilet, he spends the next half-hour trying to burn his hands to remove the sticky feeling of V's blood from both of his hands.

He's trying to remove the feeling of Saeyoung's blood away from his hands, too. He has flashbacks about that day all the time, thinking his brother is dead and V is dead and it's all his fault and he needs to get rid of the blood because it feels wrong, and he's wrong, and he's just a PAWN WHO NEVER MATTERED BECAUSE—

RIKA SAID SHE WANTED HIS BROTHER. NOT HIM. SHE WANTED TO USE SAEYOUNG. NOT HIM. "USE" HIM. IT WAS NEVER REAL. IT WAS A LIE.

ALL A LIE.

Saeyoung can't stop looking over his shoulders no matter where he is. He can't stop looking. It doesn't matte where he is. He has to have a full view of the room he's in, and that means he spends his time on his phone looking for camera feeds and other means to control what he can in his environment. It's nice when he's in his bunker because he has a defense system and cameras all over the place. He's ready for war if it comes to that.

But, it's a horrible way to live your life, isn't it?

To be afraid and know that this paranoia you experience isn't just some fear you have that has nothing to warrant. His paranoia has a reason to exist and it doesn't matter when the party's over and his Father is out of the picture. He pissed off a lot of people during his years in the agency, and until all of those people are out of the way, he can't stop being afraid of losing his life, or being the reason why his loved ones lose their.

He has nightmares, too.

He wakes up in the dead of night, searching for the modified tablet on his bedside table, and he can't breathe until he checks the feed to make sure that nobody's come in or out of the house. Saeran doesn't mess with the system. In fact, SE Saeran doesn't want to touch any technology anymore, so Saeyoung never has to worry about his baby brother sneaking out or tampering with the system to leave.

But, still, he has to CHECK EVERYTHING.

Twice.

God forbid his MC left the room to get water and didn't leave him something to show they would be right now before he could check his system. I think you have to help him implement a system for his fears. He knows it can be overwhelming, he knows that most of his requests or fears come across as controlling, and God knows he is trying his best to be better about this, but... for his peace of mind, it's nice to know you left a plush or an object on your bed to say, "I'm just in the other room. Don't worry."

...He can't stop thinking about the damn near week he spent in that humid, agent-infested warehouse. His paranoia got that much worse after that experience. That's the nightmare he wakes up from most of the time if it's not about his childhood. That's what sets him off to be paranoid for the rest of the night. The fear of being cornered with not a single weapon to protect himself.

God forbid it happen to you or Saeran, too.

[jeeseth]

grumpy

pairing : park minju x fem!reader

summary : after not attending school for a week because of your fever, your girlfriend who is also the student council president has been living with a grey cloud with her.

genre : fluff, angsty, kinda nsfw at the end

cw/tw : men, harassing, violence, bruises and wounds.

“Good morning, y/n!” A bright Jeemin greeted you while hugging your side.

“Morning Jee!” You smiled lovingly, opening your arms so that Youngseo and Hyewon who was behind Jeemin can hug you too. You all shared a group hug before pulling away.

As you pulled away, Jeemin looked at you with her puppy eyes and pouted. You chuckled before caressing her cheeks.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you.” Jeemin muttered while fixing her hair.

“Sorry, I had a fever.” You chuckled awkwardly, scratching your not-so itchy nape.

You missed school last week because you had a severe fever. You didn't have enough energy to do anything, so you spent the entire week resting in bed. Your parents have already taken you to the clinic to get some medicine and have you checked out. You could hear a number of notifications from your phone, but you're so unwell that you can't even get it from beside the bed.

“I’m glad that you feel better now.” Youngseo smiled, patting your head afterwards. “But, I feel like someone is still in a bad mood since last week~” Youngseo giggled, you look up at her, feeling confused.

“Hm, I wonder why our students president was so grumpy last week?” Hyewon said, pretending to think.

You laughed and quickly realised what they meant. You feel bad for not informing your girlfriend that you're sick. Even your mother wondered whether you tell Minju about it or not, because you discovered that Minju had called your mom to asked why you didn’t came to school. You wouldn't be surprised if the notifications is all from her.

“She is?” You giggled as they all snapped their heads toward your direction.

“She’s like way grumpier than she already is!” Youngseo rolled her eyes playfully, remembering what happened last week.

They told you that last week, during the morning assembly, Minju won’t let them seat and suddenly her speeches were so damn long. You couldn’t believe it when they said that Minju was in her office all day long. Minju’s friends were also worried about that girl.

“Ay, there’s no way it’s all because of me-”

“It is!!” Your friend group and Minju’s friend group said in unison causing you to flinched.

“Where did you guys even came from?!?” You shrieked.

By the look of it, it seems like they were just passing by. You couldn’t help but to noticed that Minju isn’t with them, that’s weird.

“Uh, we were just passing by and couldn’t help but to eavesdrop y’all talking.” Yunah laughed out loud but then she stopped when Jeongeun slapped the back of her head.

“Talking about Minju, she’s still walking around with a grey cloud with her.” Jeongeun sighed, massaging her temples.

“Damn y/n, you really should go and talk to her asap. That girl isn’t even functioning properly since she’s so worried about you.” Jihyun said, wrapping her arms around your shoulders. “Did you not tell her that you’re sick?”

You shakes your head, “no I didn’t, I was so sick that I can barely open my eyes.” You pouted.

“By the way, do you guys have any meetings today?” You asked Yunah, Jihyun and Jeongeun since they’re also in the student council.

“Nope, we don’t have any today.” Jeongeun said as you nodded in response.

“Don’t worry, you have the whole day to make it up to Minju. Just don’t do anything freaky in her office!” Yunah teased and went to her class with Jihyun and Jeongeun trailing behind her, bidding you guys goodbye. Your cheeks flushed a bright pink tint at what Yunah just said.

“It’s time for us to go too, let’s go!” Hyewon said, linking her arms with yours.

Your first and second periods went well, and you have virtually the same classes as Youngseo. Even if you were told to stop chatting so much, it was still enjoyable. It was recess, and you sat next to Jeemin, drinking your banana milk. You also brought an extra one for Minju, as you want to meet her when school finishes.

“You sure, y/n?” They asked, when you told them to just go home first without you later.

“Yeah, I planned on meeting Minju for a while. You guys can go first.” You smiled as they all nodded.

“Bye, y/n!” Jeemin waved at you and you waved back at her, before making your way to Minju’s office.

You were almost at her office when you ran into someone, forcing you to fall. "Ouch…" you winced. You sense a presence in front of you and look up to find two terrifying-looking students. Their uniform made it clear that they were not from around here. You thoughts were cut off when one of them grabbed you by your collar.

“My my, what a pretty lady like you doing here?” He chuckled as he let go off your collar.

“U-um, I just need to go to that office so please excuse me.” You said, attempting to walk away but was stopped by another man standing in front of you.

"Calm down, what's the hurry for?" He stated while looking at you with hunger and lust in his eyes. He looked around before bringing you closer to him, pressing your bodies together. And there's another man at your back. You swear you want to cry at this point.

“Hey, why not let’s have some fun hm?” He whispered and started caressing your body, you let out a whimper when the other man covered your mouth with his hands. Your tears were pouring out like a waterfall right now and you wished for nothing but someone or that specific someone to save you.

The man in front of you was about to touch you again, but before he could, he was pulled back roughly by the hair. You flinched but took the chance to bite the man at your back palms, causing him to let out a yelp. You were quick to run a little bit far away, and you tried your best to look through your wet eyelashes. And there you saw Minju throwing blow after blow to the both of them. Her shirt wasn’t tucked in, she threw her blazer somewhere else, and her tie was loosening a bit. Minju kept fighting before a teacher came and stopped her. It seems like it was the two dudes, teacher. He apologised to Minju and your principal before pulling his students away. The principal asked if Minju was okay, and she said she’s fine, before the principal left to settle with those two. 

Through your vision you saw Minju came to you and kneeled in front of you before picking you up in bridal style. You nuzzled your face in her necks and let her carry you to what felt like her office. She put you down on the sofa before going to close the door. She came back to you and kneeled in front of you with her hands caressing your thighs.

“Love,” she called out, and you hummed in response. You wiped your tears away and looked at her. You saw that her lips were bleeding and her temple was bruised with an ugly purple colour. 

You cupped her face, and she leaned into your warm palms. You peck her nose softly before standing up to take a medkit. A few moments later, you sat back down with a medicine kit in your hands. You patted the empty seats beside you as a sign to tell her to sit down. 

In silence, you carefully treated her wounds. You’re being extra careful with the one that’s still bleeding. Without realising it, you were so focused on treating Minju’s wound that you didn’t see that she was staring at you the whole time. You only realised that when you started treating her lips and making eye contact with her.

She smiled softly before you went back to treating her bruised lips like you weren’t completely flustered by that. “Stop it, i need to focus.”

She just chuckled quietly and continued staring at you until you’re done. You pull away and look at her wounds, looking a bit better than before.

“Um, don’t i get a kiss for being obedient?” Minju asked nonchalantly, making you roll your eyes.

“Is this really the grumpy president everyone been talking about?” You scoffed before laughing at how Minju’s pouting.

“Aw, come on…” she mumbled, intertwining your hands afterwards. You giggled quietly before pecking her lips.

You pull away and saw Minju still pouting. “Why? Is that not enough hm?”

“I want a kiss, and that’s only a peck.”

“Minju, your lips taste like ointment you know.”

“Tch, if you won’t kiss me then I will.” she smirked before pinning you down against the sofa.

Let’s just say, the ointment on her lips were no longer there for some, reasons.

a/n — i don’t really like this 😭 imma make another one soon as an apology ;)

[itsdrawingmen]

I saw a dunmeshi art where they lined up the characters in their underwear, and got brainworms from it. I'm not really good at painted studies, it turns out, or maybe it just didn't work right now, but I like how the drawing came out. It was an excercise in different bodies, and I think they’re all neat.

Some headcanons and musings:

Zen has boobs, tits even, but that's canon, and all the time I was drawing him I was thinking about that selfie from his album where he's wearing a half-buttoned white shirt and his cleavage is visible. I am looking at him respectfully (not really, I am looking at him like this:

He's shaved everywhere, and he wears very plain, neutral-coloured underwear. His normal state is being pretty meaty, but he doesn’t like himself that way. He’s often dried out for his roles.

Yoosung is narrow-chested, thin, covered in moles, and comparatively kinda hairy — not by my European standards, but compared to the others here. He doesn't care about shaving, for himself or anyone else. He often wears funky boxers, and has sort of got a collection. Even when it's not funky-printed, his underwear is usually bright-coloured. He's cringe, but he's free. Also, not pictured, but he’s often covered in hickeys, normally from the chest up. Not gonna say who leaves them, but anyone who knows me even a little can take a wild guess 👀

Jaehee is wide in the hips and big-breasted. Her underwear is normally mismatched, because she doesn't care. The only thing she cares about is that it doesn't show through her clothes. In the canon timeline, she usually wears those thick stiff heavily padded bras that smooth everything out, and then over the course of the postcanon she gradually switches to softer cups. She's sedentary, often stressed, and doesn't eat well, so she's not really thin. She has acne on her face, neck, back, chest, and shoulders. She shaves because she’s too used to it, but she gradually gets more relaxed about it.

Next up is Joori Nam, the MC. She's a big, tall young woman, quite heavy and strong. She likes to show off her edgy and feisty personality in clothes and underwear, and she's also pretty expressive and energetic in gestures. She's depressed and a self-harmer. She barely shaves, only where is absolutely necessary to look ‘presentable’ for work. Otherwise, she can’t be assed.

The Chois are emaciated and scarred. They've both got some mild pectus excavatum. The Mother Choi used to stub cigarettes on them, and Saeran has got it worse.

Saeyoung is slightly more muscular and slightly less scarred. He has knobby square fingers, and nails bitten to almost nothing. He's also an active self-harmer. He's missing several toenails. All of his underwear is a little baggy on him.

Saeran is even thinner and less muscular. He has a lot of piercings, and his tattoo is blacked out into a full sleeve. He has barely any body hair at all. He is pretty much covered in cigarette burn scars, as well as scars from being whipped with cables, and several deep and crooked scars from gashes made with glass bottles.

Jumin, without his PR team, can't pose for shit. He is good at doing what they tell him, and he looks fine when photographed candidly, but as soon as he starts posing on his own, he just looks awkward and stiff. He has a weird case of CEO-body, where he's fit, but also weirdly soft in unexpected places (namely, his chest and arms). He shaves because it's 'hygienic'. He also wears briefs. Sorry, to me he looks like someone who wears briefs.

Jihyun is normally pretty toned, but after the whole ordeal with Rika and having to cover for her he has gained some weight and gotten soft. He has a long torso and wider hips and a bit of a belly. He hunches his back a lot, and picks at the skin of his fingers.

Rika is slender and dancerly, and very traditionally feminine. She’s small and graceful, not muscular, but soft, with smooth porcelain skin. She wears lingerie, always matching, always beautiful, and pretty much only owns thongs and tanga. Somehow, despite always looking up at people, she can easily make you feel like she’s looking down at you.

[xelasrecords]

Locus of Pain

Kim Jihyun x MC

NSFW

MC doesn't tell Jihyun she's hurt. He finds out anyway.

I'm back with smutty and messy ambiguous relationships! With GE Jihyun's personality. I will forever campaign for his GE personality until it becomes mainstream in fics and I don't have to put a disclaimer anymore.

TW: discussions on adult child abuse, self-destructive thoughts and actions, brief mild gore imagery, self-harm

Words: 4.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

She stumbled into the apartment with a pained grunt.

She ought to feel bad for staining the floor with her blood, but she had more important matters to attend to. Her back was burning with lacerations and every step she took was straining the bruises that had burrowed into her muscles.

She tried not to swing her hands too much as she headed for the bathroom, disposing of her jacket at the foot of the bed. For once she was thankful for Rika's cramped apartment. It could be suffocating at times, but it was easy to live in. Jihyun said Rika had a taste of unassuming minimalism. She thought building a gilded emerald cult with thousands of followers was pushing the definition.

Gripping the edge of the sink, she clenched her jaw and started peeling off her blood-crusted shirt. The injuries shouldn't be too deep since the blood had stopped flowing down her back like a free-flowing motherfucker. But as she pulled the shirt over her head, it tore the barely knit skin apart, and warm blood started to trickle down again.

She cursed her thin epidermis. It was not supposed to tear over a mere picture frame thrown at it, even if the frame was large enough to cover half of the bedroom wall.

Her father had excellent aim and strength. He had proven that to her many times.

Sometimes she fantasised about breaking his skull in with a scorching hot pan, wondering if his hair would melt from the heat or if his eyes would bulge out of their sockets. Would he scream for her help? Would he plead for mercy or curse her for being a demon spawn? Then, she could blame him for fathering such an evil inside her.

Her stomach curdled with guilt. The resentment was hers alone, and he had loved her despite her selfishness. She couldn't shed away the primal care she had for him. She was her mother's daughter, after all.

Twisting her body in the mirror, she made a quick work of cataloguing her injuries. Two long gashes that dipped into her flesh but wouldn't require stitches, one blackening bruise near her ribs, and several cuts and bruises that stippled across her back. She tested her breathing. No wheezing. No punctured lung. An improvement from the last time. Jihyun wouldn't need to know.

She stepped into the shower and washed off the blood. The cold water chilled her bones. But it had to. It was better to feel all of it. She had asked for his wrath and now she dealt with the consequences. Besides, it helped with closing the wounds.

After she put on a pair of shorts, she reached for a bottle of alcohol from the medicine cabinet. Sharp gasps escaped her mouth every so often as she tried to pour just enough. Medicine was costly and she shouldn't waste it. The burn blinded her vision white and she hunched over the sink, focusing on the cold ceramic under her fingertips and the slicing of tiles beneath her bare feet.

When her sight had stopped swimming, she took a deep breath and bent her arm behind her in awkward angles to slap adhesive bandages to the wounded area. She grunted in frustration. It was tougher than she'd thought. She was nauseous from constantly looking up to check her reflection, the evening autumn draft was pricking at her exposed skin, and the plasters kept sticking to the wrong place.

She glared at the mirror. Do not faint.

How many nights had she spent patching herself up? And yet she still struggled. Her lack of progress was almost laughable.

She didn't think there were any glass shards embedded in her though. One good thing that came out of this. She tried not to think about the larger shard she had pocketed when the picture frame glass shattered, now buried under the bloody heap of clothes.

She froze when she heard someone punching in the door passcode.

She was about to kick her bathroom door close when Jihyun entered and switched on the lights from down the hallway. Their eyes locked, and he stopped in his tracks. Her throat constricted.

This was not how she wanted him to ever see her.

His face grew horrified, and he dropped his satchel in his rush to get to her. She had a fleeting worry that his satchel might have dropped onto the blood-stained floor and she might have ruined his fine leather bag.

Jihyun stood before her, his mouth opened and closed. She schooled her face into indifference and waited.

"You—" he started, "what happened?"

The impulse to lie was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't find a good reason to when he had caught her like this. She doubted he would believe her excuses. The day had been long and she was so tired.

"A jolly good ol' catch-up with my parents." Her tone was casual.

Jihyun watched her with a worried frown, then squeezed into the small space and ran the tap water through his hands. He was moving with a surprising efficiency as he lathered his hands with soap before scanning her injuries and her first aid supplies.

"Please let me help." His teal eyes were desperate. She had forgotten how luminous they were from up close. "You can't do this alone."

"You shouldn't have come here tonight."

"I'm well-versed in healing people," he urged. "I used to heal my own injuries when I was with Rika. I treated hers as well. I know enough, so you can trust me." His fingers twitched, almost reaching for her before dropping to his side. "Please."

More than the fact that she was found out, she hated that she had made Jihyun worry about her. The only thing she excelled at was to instil negative feelings in people who cared about her. Always wrath in her parents, sometimes concern in Jihyun.

Jihyun had never lost his head at her, but she was waiting for it to happen. No one had the patience of a saint, not even him.

It was a pity she had condemned him to another relationship where he had to play the caretaker. Letting him treat her would be an appropriate compensation for his scare. "Go on," she said. "But I should probably lie down."

Relief flooded his face. "That would be the best. Can you walk on your own?"

She nodded, but he held her arm and assisted her to the bed. He sat her down, slowly, and helped her settle into a comfortable position to lie prone in. She buried her face into the pillow that smelled faintly of mint leaves. It was Jihyun's side of the bed. It comforted her that he was permanent enough in her life that she could find traces of him in her private space.

"Has it always been this bad?" Jihyun asked quietly. The feeling of his lithe fingers inspecting her skin with clinical precision was unfamiliar. His touches were always loving, adoring, not stiff with anxiety. He had never seen her with weeping wounds. She had never let him into the truth.

"Only when I deliberately provoke them. Mother goes off the rails, father blames me for not caring about my own parents, I try to save myself before things escalate." She raised her head and smirked at him. "I don't always succeed though. Got a picture frame to my back, as you can see. Took being backstabbed by your family to the next level. They were supposed to hang it where their guests could see, but I doubt they'd hang it without the glass now. People would ask."

There was a brief silence before he spoke. "That's terrible." His voice was soft, barely a murmur. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know they are violent."

She shrugged. "You're not the one who should apologise. And they will anyway, once they think I've iced them out for too long. Not that it means anything."

He shook his head, and strands of aquamarine hair fell across his forehead. They softened the distress that wrought his features. "You're not a mouse they can play with."

"No, I'm just their daughter they can hurt," she said. Jihyun pressed a bandage against the grisliest gash across her back and she winced. "Do you think it'll scar?"

"It most likely will. Had it been any deeper, you would have needed stitches." He paused, his palm resting on her spine. "Why didn't you call me?"

"It didn't occur to me," she lied. She wanted to lay down her defences and curl into his arms. She didn't want to keep fighting for herself. There were times when escaping was better than fighting for nothing, but it wasn't something she could ask from him. Her cage was her own.

Jihyun's fingers curled against her skin, and she could sense the waves of sorrow unfurling around her. "Can you think of me from now on? It doesn't have to be all the time, moments when you are hurt will do. If you call, I will come."

"I think of you all the time, Jihyun."

"Oh. I didn't know that." The surprise was evident in his tone. He applied another bandage to her back, smoothing it cautiously over the raw wound. "But I know no one is meant to bear their burden alone. You have been through so much."

"So have you, love. I'm not special." She gave him a bitter smile. "Now, why did you come here unannounced?"

Jihyun studied her for several seconds. "I wanted to see you," he said. "You've been withdrawn lately, so I thought something had happened."

She chuckled. "I suppose this counts as something."

"I never had to imagine you in my position before," he said. "I thought you'd confide in me when you're hurt. It's what you always urge me to do. You taught me to be more trusting. But seeing you like this makes me realise how much fear you and Jumin must have felt when I took matters into my own hands." He let out a ragged sigh. "I don't know how I would cope if I came here one day and saw you unconscious on the floor."

Lucky he wasn't here when she blacked out from a concussion a few months ago.

She made a dismissive gesture. "Do as I say, not as I do."

"Only if you let me do the same thing."

She levelled a glare at him. "Definitely not."

Jihyun snorted but worked silently after. The stinging pain was dulling into low throbs. She had lost count of the bandages he used, but it must have been more than necessary. She felt the adhesives even on the spots that didn't require them. Jihyun was being excessive. After everything she had gone through, she was confident that a small, uncovered cut wouldn't be her reason to die.

He should know. He had been stabbed and was still alive fretting over her.

She heard him uncapping an ointment and felt a cool sensation on her skin. He carefully massaged the salve into the bruises, sending shivers throughout her body. How nice he was. How patient. How kind.

When he pushed her hair aside to tend to the base of her neck, her breath caught. His fingertips sent fire down her synapses. It had been so long since they did anything. The distance she put between them was growing taut. The farther she pulled, the harder she would crash back into him.

Her arm moved on its own accord when she grabbed Jihyun's fingers and pressed her lips to the back of his hand. The strong herbal scent from the salve burned her nose, but this smooth hand was his. Hers.

Jihyun was always there for her to come back to.

He was not home. Home, to her, was not something that she ever longed to go. It was the misery that strangled her into obedience and shrunk her world into a dark, bleak place to survive in.

He was her sanctuary on a far-off island. Nothing could get to them when they were together.

Jihyun let out a light chuckle that sang to her heart. "Let me wash my hands. I don't want to make you any more ill."

She squeezed his hand. "I missed you too, you know. I'm glad you're with me."

He stilled, then crouched beside her head. He tucked the hair that obscured her face behind her ear and kissed her temple before gently wrestling his hand out of her grasp. The shape of his lips was just as she remembered it.

She watched him rinse the blood from her clothes and exhaled in relief when he didn't stray to her trousers' pocket. She watched him clean his hands with water trickling down his forearms, the brown sleeves of his sweatshirt pulled up and collecting water at the elbows. She watched him storing the first aid kit and medicines in the cabinet to her preferred arrangement. She watched him doing useless things for her.

When Jihyun climbed into the bed and rested against the headboard, she asked, "Do you know what the worst part of this is?"

He stared down at her, eyes carrying a heavy sorrow. "That your parents don't know how to love you?"

"Not even close." She rolled her eyes. "I've known that all my life. Not being able to lean against anything is the real tragedy. Look at me, I can't even sit comfortably beside you."

"But you can come closer," he said slowly.

She raised her brows but let him guide her to lie on his chest, his fingers resting on her bare shoulders.

He was clothed and she wasn't and it was something she needed to rectify.

She tangled her leg around his and relaxed her head against his beating heart. It was thrumming to a rising tempo that mirrored hers. She toyed with a loose thread on the neck of his sweatshirt. "I wish you weren't so good at fixing up injuries like mine. I wish you never had to learn."

"It's all in the past now." He slipped his fingers into the gaps between hers and clasped them. "I'd go through it again if I had known it would help alleviate your pain."

She snapped up at him. "Your martyr streak needs to stop."

"I have stopped. Just allow me this one exception." He planted a chaste kiss on her mouth, then cleared his throat. "Will you meet your parents again?"

She tightened the thread around her forefinger until it looked like diagonally dissected blocks of meat and she could barely feel its existence. "I know they do horrible things sometimes, but I can't cut them off. It's not that easy. I still love them. When they're not mad, they can be easy to love."

Jihyun frowned at her finger and gently untangled the thread before snapping it off. "That's what makes leaving harder, isn't it?" The haunting in his face revealed the extent of horrors that he had experienced. An angel with a darkened, torn soul who was still rising high above. He was not her. She liked that about him. "It's easier to hate someone when they have only been awful to you. It's their residual goodwill that gives you hope that they will change. When I look back to how stubbornly I stood beside Rika, I understand. Left in the dark, we cling to the light. We forget who trapped us there in the first place."

She didn't want to admit that Jihyun was right. That he was right, yet it would not change anything.

She wondered if she had been drawn to him because the subconscious part of her knew he would understand. Jihyun knew how to make her feel less alone in the guilt and resentment and twisted love that she couldn't untangle herself from. Most people were not like him. She learned from a young age that if people found out about the abuse, they would either urge her to leave—which added unnecessary pressure on her because it was never an option—or give her pitiful looks while stumbling over their words.

"Jihyun," she said.

He drew his thumb over her chin. "Yes?"

"Don't go." She pushed herself up and crashed her lips into his.

It was fervent, maddening, and she poured all the tension from their time of separation into it. The yearning to see him. The stress from her parents meddling with her happiness. Everything she had been missing after being alone for so long.

Jihyun reciprocated with more caution, treading her lips like they were a treasure trove. He gave in eventually when she didn't show a sign of discomfort, his kiss matching her intensity.

She bit his lower lip and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He gripped her shoulders, pulling her closer until she was pressed against him. His hands were not sliding down her waist and everywhere else like he tended to. He kept his hold staunchly on her arms even as he deepened the kiss.

It hit her what he was doing. He was being considerate of her battered body.

She let out a sob into his mouth. Nobody had ever cared for her like this. She could stand all the violence flung at her, but one act of kindness felled her to her knees.

Jihyun pulled away in an instant, his glazed eyes searching across her face and body. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "I was just thinking about you. You're wonderful. I missed you." Jihyun's expression was guarded, appraising her, and she let him. She had spoken the truth. She offered the truth so rarely that she would not omit more of it if it concerned his regard for himself. "I'm fine, Jihyun."

He gave a slow nod, and she tugged off his cashmere sweater. With a tender touch, she ran her hand through the ragged red patches of skin that stood out against his pale torso. Burn scars from a house fire. Both of them had childhood wounds woven into their very being. The past was made permanent on their skin.

Jihyun squirmed, seemingly self-conscious, despite her being familiar with the scars, but he made no attempts to stop her. He was beautiful, body and soul, she thought. He had more love and forgiveness in him than anyone she had ever known.

She trailed kisses along his jaw and sucked on the juncture behind his ear. He moaned and curved his body against her, and she smiled into his neck. It was amusing, the reactions that she could elicit out of him. No one could touch him as she could. He did not let anyone else know him intimately like this. He was only for her.

She suspected all of this played into his pleasure as well.

She twined her fingers around his hair, marvelling at the softness of it, and pulled it back to bare his throat. He had such a beautiful throat.

She didn't apply much pressure as she wrapped her hand around it, but his breath hitched. Her lips curved into a sly smile, her other hand wandering down his hard bulge. "I don't know why being choked always turns you on."

Jihyun held his gaze on her despite his reddening complexion. "I can feel you wanting me when you hold me like this."

"I do want you." She swung her leg astride him, straddling his hips and rested her forehead against his. The hard-on beneath her was hard to ignore. "It drives me out of my mind when I can't be with you."

"You shouldn't have pushed me away," he murmured. "I'll still want you, however you are, whatever condition you are in. You're always just you to me. Nothing can make me want you less."

"I'm sorry," she said. Jihyun closed his eyes, and she kissed his eyelid with a gentleness that she reserved only for him. "I'm sorry I left you alone."

He cradled her cheek, and she basked in the warmth of it. The safety of him. He was here and she couldn't fight the temptation to lose herself in him. "You didn't leave me alone. I belong with you. Anywhere you run to, you take me with you. I'm yours."

She tightened her hold on his throat to see his reaction. "You're mine," she whispered.

A slow smile graced his delicate face. "I am. I'm yours."

Jihyun drew her closer by the elbow and peppered kisses on her mouth, her chin, her throat, and her collarbones. He palmed her breasts and sucked her nipple while tweaking the other with his fingers. They hardened at his touch and she moaned his name, demanding him to be harder, rougher.

She needed to feel everything.

He bit her nipple and her hand slipped to the base of his skull, grasping at his hair. He was hers. His action and devotion were hers. It sent a deluge of pleasure down her core. Jihyun could be gentle, but he was also earnest to give her the satisfaction she sought.

She wanted him. She wanted him. She wanted him more than the freedom from her wretched life.

"I love you." She tipped his chin back. "I love you, Jihyun. Remember it."

He smiled up at her, his pupils blown wide with lust. "I love you, too."

She reached down and unbuckled his trousers. She had done more strenuous activities in a worse state, so fucking him wouldn't damage her already mangled body. But Jihyun stilled her wrist when he saw through her intention.

She narrowed her gaze. "I'm on the pill."

"You're hurt," he said. "I don't want to worsen your injuries."

"Have you not treated them?"

His grip wasn't loosening. "You need more time to heal. The wounds may open again."

"Then go slow."

Jihyun hesitated.

"Please," she croaked.

As soon as she uttered the word, she knew she had him. He sighed, but let go of her wrist. "You'll have to be careful. I'm stopping this if you push yourself too far."

"Brilliant."

Jihyun pulled down his trousers while she discarded her shorts. She lowered herself into him, relishing in the feel of him filling her. He ran his hands up and down her waist tentatively until he was sure that he wasn't touching any of the injuries on her back. Only then did he allow himself to move into her with practised ease. She held onto his shoulders and rolled her hips in tandem, burying her face into his neck and letting him control the pace. Jihyun had meant his warning and she was not eager to risk it.

It felt new. It felt familiar. It was what she had yearned for. His low grunts, her body slanting forward to hit the right spot, their skin sticking to each other in sweat and slick wetness.

Jihyun was slow, unhurried, with faint caresses down her back. His concern for her was easy to read. He was tracing back the pain that he couldn't protect her from. He might no longer bear a debilitating guilt, but she didn't think he could ever eradicate his need to shield her from misfortunes.

She couldn't blame him. It was the same with her, though the abuse done to her wasn't something that anyone could simply take away, and they both knew it.

She bit his earlobe, mumbling, "It's not your fault."

Jihyun tilted his face, and his lips brushed her cheek. "It's not yours either."

She stopped caring whose fault her source of agony was and thrust into him, picking up the pace while she dug her nails into his arms. He didn’t stop her, his hand snaking down to find her bundle of nerves instead.

She gasped and arched her back when he rubbed her. She was vaguely aware of the sharp jabs of pain in her back, but she welcomed them. Pain grounded her into him.

Jihyun's fingers were vigorous, and his thrusting was getting rougher that it twisted the coil in her lower abdomen. She writhed with need, whispering to him not to stop, and he listened, and it brought her higher and higher until the coil snapped.

She cried out in ecstasy.

Jihyun kept to his pace as she rode out the climax, not stopping despite her trembling legs and clearing haze. She focused on him overwhelming her in a way that annihilated her need for anything else. The alkaline tang of paint that lingered on him. His tightening grip on her bottom as she felt him reaching his climax. Him twitching inside her when he finally did, his muscles tensing as he came inside her. His pleasure-struck face that entranced her every time.

He was a marvel to look at, to have. He was hers. He had proclaimed it. He was the forest that shrouded her from the vultures circling above, the soft sand that sank her deeper into him with each pull of the waves, the hearth that kept her warm through the barren cold. With him, she could breathe.

She would give him everything he wanted. She would not let him go.

She slumped against him, their mixed fluids seeping down her thighs. He slipped out of her and she kissed the underside of his jaw. "I love you."

Jihyun's breath was still racing as he drew circular patterns on her shoulder blades. "Your parents didn't hurt you because you provoked them. They hurt you because they're abusive. It's not your fault."

She sighed. She had hoped he would let it go, but nothing could stop him once he made up his mind. "Knowing it doesn't make it any better."

"Do you really think so?" He ran his thumb up her inner forearm. She flinched and tried to jerk away, but he held onto her. The deepest scars had faded to silver, but the fresher ones were raised ridges along her skin. She had been careful, small cuts scattered on an easily hidden spot. She didn't realise he would notice. "Isn't this your form of penance?"

Her chest tightened. "It's the only thing I have control over. If I blame them and direct all my anger at them, I will hurt them. This way, the only person I hurt is myself. I'm not a weapon. I'm not a threat."

"Don't you think you've been hurt enough?"

She wore a thin smile and looked away. "Sure."

Jihyun's hands slid up her jaw and tilted her head back to him, his fingers resting on the pulse points on her neck. "You can be angry around me. It's natural to want to express your emotions. They're not something you're supposed to keep to yourself. Talk to me when you feel like turning to self-mutilation. I'm yours, remember? My ears are yours to talk to. My shoulders are for you to lean on."

She surveyed his pleading gaze with a twinge of pity. Jihyun was asking for more than he was supposed to receive. In time, he would see it.

Another waiting game had begun. She almost did not want to see the ending.

"All right. I'll do that."

-

Footnotes:

I went with Jihyun because I thought he'd be an interesting choice. The role reversal and all. He's forced to confront how he is seen through MC's eyes when he's involved in dangerous situations and refuses help.

MC's relief for living in Rika's suffocating apartment at the beginning parallels her feeling trapped in the familial cage that she doesn't want to leave. There's a reason why she doesn't move out of the apartment even after the cult drama is over. She's a bird caged too long that she can't take flight even if the door is open. She's not capable of leaving things behind, so she hoards everything she can (Jihyun) to herself.

MC thinking that her father "had loved her despite her selfishness" is the product of her parents' manipulation. Her belief that she's selfish if she feels negative emotions and wants anything at all is what drives her self-destruction, and ironically, her possessiveness.

With Jihyun, it's easy to make him fall into the rescuer role when the partner self-harms, so I was very mindful of depicting the discovery scene. I didn't want to romanticise it and make MC feel like if she got hurt more, she'd get more attention from him. Since this is GE Jihyun, he wouldn't default back to his old enabling methods.

I was dubious about making MC self-harm since I don't want this to be a gratuitous checklist of trigger warnings, but it makes sense for her to turn to cutting. If she has to be hurt, it might as well be by herself. Might as well be on her terms.

The nature metaphors are to show Jihyun's and MC's common interest in nature.

Are they actually in love or is it just oxytocin and loneliness? Who knows?

I felt pressured to write a romantic fic, but I haven't been able to these days so I turned to this. It brought relief somehow. This was cathartic.

I used to think I'd never write a possessive character in a non-antagonising light yet here we are. I compared this MC to the one from Wedge the Knife Under My Skin, but this one is blunter with her words and well, more possessive. She's bitter and sarcastic and resigned to her suffering. Fortunately, Jihyun is secure enough to see through her sharp defences.

The title is a twist on the locus of control concept in psychology, which is about a person's degree of belief on how much of their internal force governs their external life.

I don't know why I like to throw Jihyun into ambiguous relationships either.

Header Corner:

A quick process breakdown! Add a directional blur to the base footage > duplicate the footage, slightly shift the position and change the blur direction to get the hazy look > add a red filter overlay to fit the fic's bloody mood but retain the magenta in the background to resonate with the romance aspect > choose the appropriate angsty text and font!

Youtube | Goodreads | Letterboxd | Pinterest

[theedengirls]

❪ 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. ❫        ━━━        ❛        a look into the eden girls.         ❜

you used to be alive                                     now you're almost mystic

    ��           𝐓𝐖        ⦂        abuse, parental death, bullying, messy divorce

❛        𝕭y the lakeside, ever so diligently as delicately, she plaits strands of hair, tucking daisies where each overlap and tying off the braids with silk ribbons. She, this figurehead of patience in paradise, does this for each of the girls, and at supper, she hands them a freshly picked, gently washed and ever-gleaming . . . apple.        ❜

(  ᥫ᭡  ) ⠀ › ⠀ 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐍        . . . 

When Yewon was five, her older cousin placed her atop his shoulders, fingers holding tightly to her knobby knees in fear that she might fall as they raced down a hill together. Her arms waved like the blades of grass in the summer, and she swore that if she could reach even just the tiniest bit higher, she would touch the sun and melt into a twinkling star and everything would be alright as she watched above all that she loved. She has been chasing the feeling since.

Born to a nameless mother in 1997, Lee Jihyun attempted to plant himself into the ground to withstand the torrential storms on the horizon that would surely come for his daughter. By age three, most of Yewon's days would be spent in the care of her aunt as Jihyun worked tirelessly, innocent eyes curious to the blossoming purple on her aunt's lovely pale skin. And each time that the inquisitive nature she grappled with surfaced, distorting the vision of a quiet child, asking her aunt where they came from, why some were more yellow, more green, her cousin would shush her before his father heard. And so Yewon remained quiet, head bowed down, tongue tacked down by a rusting nail, the taste burning her mouth each time the storm berated their home, filling her senses each time she would help piece everything together in the aftermath.

In 2013, she would audition for Next to the Stars on her cousin's insistence, him far more eager to hear back than she ever was. He would check the mail every day, listen intently for the phone to ringing, even a knock at the door, anything for confirmation on her acceptance. He lived through her, and she made him promise to think of himself next. The letter arrived when it was Yewon who checked, her very soul telling her to look. She was favoured in the competition for her dance skills and attitude, and would rank third out of the nine who debuted in Silver Stars as a lead dancer, sub-vocalist, and the maknae. By their disbandment, she searched for what would come next.

STAGE NAME: Yewon ( 예원 ) BIRTH NAME: Lee Yewon ( 이예원 ) OLD POSITION: Leader, centre, main dancer, lead vocalist NEW POSITION: Leader, dancer, vocalist, centre BIRTHDAY: May 25th, 1997 ZODIAC SIGN: Gemini HEIGHT: 158 cm ( 5'2" ) FACE CLAIM: Kang Seulgi

❛        𝕯rowning in a sea of viridian, she lays beneath the warmth of the sun, floating in the in-between of sleep and consciousness. Forever dreaming even as she laughs with the others, she turns the fruit in her hands with the meticulousness of a painter capturing their muse, and with a single sharp blade, slices the . . . apple.        ❜

(  ᥫ᭡  ) ⠀ › ⠀ 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐊        . . .

She stood tall in her audition, head held up high in a confidence buried deeply beneath her skin. But Kittiya's hands shook behind her back, and her heart bruised the marrow of her bones in an attempt to break free. She counted down from ten, smiled at those who scrutinized every note, every breathe, every enunciation, determining if she was worthy. She could not disappoint her parents, even if she sometimes could not differentiate where her dreams ended and where theirs began.

One of Chatmanee and Niran Charoensuk's joys are mentioning how upon the birth of their daughter, Kittiya, in 1997, she did not cry. No, even then, newborn and still a stranger to the world, she had sung, sung so beautifully that the nurse who had handed the little baby to her eagerly awaiting mother noted that she would surely be a singer when she grew older with such lungs. There was simply no other option, her fate outlined so clearly that to delineate would be to spit in the face of the higher being who had blessed her with such gift. She could read sheet music before she could read books, tone near perfect even then that it brought tears to her father's eyes every instance she sang. By all means, she was a child prodigy, living in the faded legacy of her mother before she had given it all up to be a mother.

Between 2010-2013, Kittiya auditioned for SM Entertainment, Hybe, JYP Entertainment, all of which eventually rejected her, the disappointment so visible in her parents' faces despite their attempts to hide it that it made shame violently tear at her chest, so painful that she wished nothing more than to claw it out, her lungs and vocal chords too. 2014 saw a continuation of auditions in smaller companies, each telling her and her parents that they would get in touch with her at a later time to announce their decision. U-Sound had been the first to get back to her, and plagued with the fear that no one else would take her, Kittiya immediately joined.

STAGE NAME: Kittiya ( 키티야 ) BIRTH NAME: Kittiya Charoensuk ( กิตติยา ชาเรือนศักดิ์ ) KOREAN NAME: Choi Kieun ( 최기은 ) OLD POSITION: Main vocalist, lead rapper NEW POSITION: Vocalist, rapper BIRTHDAY: May 27th, 1997 ZODIAC SIGN: Gemini HEIGHT: 176.5 cm ( 5'9" ) FACE CLAIM: Nicha ❛ Minnie ❜ Yontararak

❛        𝕾and buries itself deep in the crevices of the body, she thinks if she speaks all that will spill is the sand of time, the past, the present, and the future all contained in her body. Guarding herself from the unknown that has captured her, she takes the hands of her saviours, and she cannot help but notice the sweet smell of . . . apples.        ❜

(  ᥫ᭡  ) ⠀ › ⠀ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐋        . . .

The day that the casket was lowered, it had been beautiful—a spring day where life and death softly giggled to each other, the flowers dotting the edge of the cemetery newly blooming. Rina did not shed a tear, she could not. Her mother wilted into nothingness before them and her sisters did not understand why their appa could not tuck them into bed. So she did it, kissed their foreheads, whispered blessings. And in the darkness, she finally cried, promising her father that she would make him proud.

Born in 1998, Rina is the eldest of four, all girls, all ever-so more rambunctious than the previous, a wild stamped of pigtails and squeaky sneakers that warned all of an impending torrent of never-ending conversations. Modestly comfortable, the Choi family bubbled with so much love that it was impossible to to not notice it even in passing. And while Choi Sangmin attempted to be there for his daughters as much as he possibly could, in the end, he would press tender kisses to their foreheads in goodbyes, whispering words of I love yous so gently that he hoped to form a cacoon around them by mere words to protect them from the world. Rina was thirteen when her parents died, her father physically, her mother metaphorically, a stray bullet, an act of service to his country. But no mumbles of sorrys could bring him back.

Left to take care of her family, Rina first auditioned for U-Sound in 2012 in a moment of selfishness, an escape when things had gotten difficult and she could not breathe without the suffocation of responsibilities. She declined her original acceptance, guilt too heavy. It would not be until 2014 when she had been scouted by the same company while taking her sisters school shopping. She had seen it as a sign, as the previous night she had asked her father for guidance. Despite her shorter training period in comparison to other trainees, Rina was one of it It Girls in U-Sounds arsenal, assured, despite the constant changes, that she would debut.

STAGE NAME: Rina ( 리나 ) BIRTH NAME: Choi Haneul ( 최하늘 ) OLD POSITION: Main rapper, lead dancer, face of the group NEW POSITION: Rapper, dancer, face of the group BIRTHDAY: April 5th, 1998 ZODIAC SIGN: Aries HEIGHT: 166 cm ( 5'5" ) FACE CLAIM: Kim ❛ BIBI ❜ Hyungseo

❛        𝕭eneath the blanket of night, she stands beneath the great tree, tilting her head upwards in curiosity, inquisitive, wondering how it got there. She cannot help but think that something has changed. And there, between her bare toes, squished and rotting, a decaying corpse of change that they will not be able to escape, is an . . . apple.        ❜

(  ᥫ᭡  ) ⠀ › ⠀ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐉𝐈𝐍        . . .

The TV crackled and boomed and shone so brightly that it hurt Yoojin's eyes as she practically pressed her face against the screen. She hummed along, mimicking the motions, the movements, the smiles and little vocal quirks that distinguished those on the family TV from those who mundanely worked outside of it. She could practically picture herself on the screen, on day, applauded and cheered and adored. She knew she was destined for greatness, and she would do all to reach it.

The birth of Yoojin in 2000 brought her mother to tears, and not simply for the hours-long birth that proclaimed Yoojin as the last of the Choi children. Park Sieun and Choi Inseong, at last, got their wish: a little baby girl. Yoojin was not just doted on by her parents, but by her elder brothers as well, despite the disinterest the second-youngest held for his baby sister at first. They had worried, Sieun and Inseong, that being raised with four elder boys would cause for extra picking. The reality of it was that Yoojin had them all around her little finger. From the very moment that she could put on plays, she would sequester her siblings, force them to sing, dance, act, anything, alongside her, the producer, choreographer, writer, and composer for the mix-matched family band her siblings reluctantly joined.

It came to no one's surprise, then, that as early as age ten, Yoojin began begging her parents to audition to become an idol, listing all that she could and their addresses, turned down each time. They had worried, then too, of how young she was to join such a thing. Yoojin despaired, yet again made another list, this time on reasons why she should be allowed, and yet again, turned down. It would not be until she was turning 16 when her parents at last caved in with the belief that they would prefer her to do something with their blessing rather than behind their backs, surprising her an advertisement for auditions at U-Sound as an early birthday present.

STAGE NAME: Yoojin ( 유진 )BIRTH NAME: Choi Yoojin ( 최유진 ) OLD POSITION: Lead vocalist, sub-rapper NEW POSITION: Vocalist, dancer, rapper BIRTHDAY: August 18th, 2000 ZODIAC SIGN: Leo HEIGHT: 175 cm ( 5'8" ) FACE CLAIM: Lee Gahyun

❛        𝕮limbing to the top of the mountain, she watches as the tides come and go and the endless horizon that encases her warmly into their own world. She, ever daring and bold, dives into the warm water, catching glimpses of a new world. When she goes back, she brings the world to her mouth and takes a bit of the . . . apple.        ❜

(  ᥫ᭡  ) ⠀ › ⠀ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐔        . . . 

Maru's debut was not her first moment in the spotlight, it was an accumulation of everything. Before that, she would hide beneath the covers, scrolling through the comment sections, type her name in the search engine, read everything, the hate, the criticism, the mocking. Her talent mattered not in comparison to her family name, the remnants of it, disaster swept beneath the rug by her father. She would prove them all wrong, she would show her worth.

The birth of Maru in 2000 was broadcasted for all across the nation—her pink, wriggling self on the front page of the tabloids, tucked in the arms of her mother, Kim Seoyun, dressed in silk and dripping in pearls as she left the hospital, and halfheartedly shielded from the cameras by her father, Jung Taeyoon. The perfect family, beautiful parents and an adorable little girl. But perfection could not hold forever, and the fissures began to grow larger and larger until simple patches could no longer due. Maru was more accessory than a human being, and in the messy, slanderous divorce between the two A-list actors, ammunition. It was Maru's statement to the court, so tiny and scared, eyes searching for the comfort of her parents, that cemented the divorce in the favour of her father. She had lied, believing it would keep her family together.

Maru was nine when she first appeared on live television, a video of a choir solo shown during a part of an interview Seoyun had given. Ten when she acted by the side of her father, eleven when she began making rounds on variety shows, first praised, the little Jung gemstone. But bound to a cycle, despair crept in, intense online criticism picking away at any armour that her parents had been kind enough to help her build. She would join U-Sound in early 2017, despite offers from other companies, determined to prove that she didn't require the endless resources of bigger companies, she was born with raw talent that could not be matched.

STAGE NAME: Maru ( 마루 ) BIRTH NAME: Jung Maru ( 정마루 ) OLD POSITION: Visual, lead dancer, sub-vocalist, maknae NEW POSITION: Visual, dancer, vocalist, maknae BIRTHDAY: September 22nd, 2000 ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo HEIGHT: 170.5 cm (5'7") FACE CLAIM: Yu ❛ Karina ❜ Jimin

[witchboyjimin]

maybe something bridgerton/regency-esque with duke or even prince jk/jm - i love you’re writing and hope you’re well!! <3

jimin is probably clutching his brother's arm a little too tightly, his nerves getting the better of him, but every set of eyes in the duchess's ballroom seems to follow him around, watching his every move.

"how, exactly, are you planning to meet anyone clinging to me like this?" jihyun says, his scent wafting about them in amusement.

"why do i have to meet anyone at all?" jimin grumbles, his eyes shying to the floor when one of the lord's attempts to catch his attention.

"weren't you the one who was dying to debut?"

"a person can change their mind." jimin feels queasy, too many alpha scents attempting to drown out all of the others in the room. it's suffocating and to jimin's sensitive nose, it's headache inducing.

when he'd debuted to the ton a week ago, jimin had been excited. he grew up reading more romance novels than his mother felt was entirely appropriate -- "they'll fill your head with unrealistic expectations", "love isn't everything, jimin" -- but jimin's father never denied jimin anything, indulging his every whim. he had a huge library at home and preferred spending his time holed-up in his favourite nook reading.

it turns out that debuting meant attending ball after ball, event after event, and it all sounded delightful in jimin's novels but in practice, jimin found it rather draining. the lords milling about, attempting to court jimin, were all rather...dull.

jimin had anticipated butterflies in his stomach and a giddy rush of happiness swirling in his chest at the sight of his future mate. instead, jimin felt mostly nauseated, and rather eager to slip away.

jihyun hums under his breath, nodding to a group of mamas, all vying for his attention. they all had viable beta and omega offspring they were hoping to have mated this season. who better a candidate than jimin's older brother, earl park jihyun.

"they can't all be that bad," jihyun whispers to him, having steered jimin over to a table of pastries. he appraises the table until he finds an eclair, making a little sound of triumph.

"they're boring and only ever talk about themselves." jimin pauses, his cheeks tinging red as he recalls one particular conversation with an alpha who had made it rather clear what his intentions were. "and some of them are quite indecent."

before jihyun can reply, the ballroom seems to quiet down suddenly, everyone's attention drawn to the top of the stairs. there, to everyone's surprise, stands jeon jeongguk, the duke's only alpha son.

jimin's brows furrow together. wasn't he supposed to be on the continent for his grand tour? as far as jimin had heard, he wasn't meant to be back for another few months.

as jeongguk makes his way down the steps, the hush that had fallen over the ballroom seems to erupt into whispers. some excited, and others tinged with something else, something far more impure.

jimin knows jeongguk is probably the most eligible bachelor here. moreso even than his own brother but at five and twenty, he was hardly in a rush to find a mate.

"it appears you have some competition," jimin grins, glancing up at jihyun. he's too busy chewing on the eclair he's inhaled to care much and gives jimin a shrug.

all of the debutantes have all begun a steady crawl toward jeongguk, each eyeing their competition to get to him first. jeongguk, however, smiles past anyone brave enough to attempt a greeting and makes his way directly to his mother's side.

it just so happens that jimin and jihyun are standing not ten feet away and jimin, who hasn't seen jeongguk for some six or seven years, finds his eyes widening as he takes the duke's son in.

as an omega, jimin's path rarely crossed over with any alphas and his penchant for always having his nose in a book meant that jimin paid even less attention to whatever was going on around him. jimin's last memory of jeongguk was from several winters ago when the jeons had come to the park estate up north where they preferred to spend their holidays.

back then, jeongguk had been thin and gangly, his appetite incapable of keeping up with how quickly he'd grown. jimin hadn't paid him much attention, not that his mother would have approved if he had, and had instead spent most of their visit conversing with jeongguk's younger omega sister, jihyo.

the alpha who stands next to his mother now looks nothing like the jeongguk from jimin's memories. he's filled out nicely, his suit jacket clinging to his broad shoulders and following the lines of jeongguk's tapering torso to a slim waist. his scent, a sweet, simple vanilla, floats over to jimin who is surprised to find he enjoys it, almost as much as the sight of jeongguk's strong profile. he has a prominent nose and a jaw so sharp, jimin wonders how it's even possible. his hair curls around the tips of his ears, a little longer than what was in style.

jimin swallows, forcing himself to look away and instead flushes pink when his brother's smile grows knowing, curling into a smirk.

"we should say hello," jihyun says, already tugging jimin along.

"we do not -- "

"don't be rude, jimin. it's been years since you've seen jeongguk."

jimin, in an effort not to stumble and make a fool of himself, allows his brother to pull him over to the duchess and her son. before jihyun can even pardon their intrusion, the duchess is already grinning in delight at the sight of them and nudging jeongguk over.

"park jihyun, what a delight to see you here," she smiles, ever the gracious host. "and of course, jimin, how are you, my dear? "

"i'm doing very well, and thank you my lady," jimin greets, curtsying to the duchess. he swallows before daring to meet jeongguk's eyes and offers a smile, hoping that it doesn't appear as nervous as he feels. "jeongguk, i hadn't thought you would be joining us this season."

jimin is expecting jeongguk to brush him off as he had all his fellow debutantes but instead, jeongguk returns jimin's smile, his scent sweetening with every passing second.

"i had some rather urgent business to attend to," jeongguk replies, reaching out to shake jihyun's hand. "and of course, i couldn't miss my mama's ball."

"no, of course not," jimin agrees, wishing he could remove his suit jacket, his skin crawling with a heat that has nothing to do with the stuffy ballroom.

jeongguk can't seem to look away from jimin, his eyes sweeping up and down the length of his body and jimin has to will himself to stay still lest he squirm and give himself away.

he finds it difficult to breathe, his cheeks flushed from jeongguk's attention. the alpha is handsome in a way jimin has only heard described in books and had he really never noticed? jimin finds he can't hold eye contact, his gaze slipping away, palms sweaty.

"my lady, i was actually hoping to discuss a small matter with you, if you had the time?" jihyun asks, expertly slipping his arm out of jimin's grasp.

jimin blinks, his belly swooping with anxiety. he nearly reaches out to catch jihyun's sleeve but manages to keep his hands to himself. how could jihyun do this!

"why of course, jihyun. how can i help?" the duchess smiles, allowing jihyun to steer her away and leaving jimin standing awkwardly before jeongguk. he almost doesn't want to breathe, attempting to find a reason he can excuse himself.

"it seems your brother's left me to look after you, hmm, jimin," jeongguk says, his voice warm and tinged with laughter.

"i'm so sorry," jimin rushes to say, wishing someone he knew would walk by. "i'm sure you're very busy. you don't -- "

"i have all the time in the world for you, jimin," jeongguk interrupts, extending a hand toward jimin.

jimin's heart slips a beat, his eyes widening as he notes the deepening of jeongguk's scent, something dark seeping into the air. "you do?" he squeaks out, mesmerized by how jeongguk seems to lean in ever so slightly, the rest of the room vanishing from jimin's sight.

"who wouldn't? i've never seen such a beautiful omega," jeongguk murmurs, giving jimin's fingers a gentle squeeze when he slips his hand into jeongguk's. "may i take this as a sign that you are amenable to a dance, jimin?"

jimin only manages to nod, struck dumb by his sheer desire for jeongguk. he follows jeongguk onto the dance floor in a trance, his breath coming out in a shaky rasp when jeongguk's hand slips into the small of his back and pulls jimin in as close as is proper.

"oh," he breathes, head swimming from the proximity to jeongguk and his scent. it takes all his will power not to lean right into the crook of jeongguk's neck and inhale him in. instead, he lets jeongguk lead him around the dance floor, their eyes never parting from one another and jimin's not sure he'll ever be satisfied with just a novel again.

not when the real thing has him floating through the room, his heartbeat in his throat. is this what love was?

[brighteststar707]

Receiving Gifts

✦ Written for Jumin Week 2023

✦ Jumin x Reader (but mostly a Jumin introspective)

✦ Words: 663

What gifts do you get for one of the richest people in the country?

It's a common sentiment that gets voiced around Jumin's birthday every year and has been one that he has heard since he was a child. He has everything, has enough money to buy up anything he may wish for. What is there left to gift him?

Despite what many people may think (and sometimes say out loud), Jumin has a great appreciation for the thought and effort that goes into the gifts he receives. In fact, he can remember every gift he has every received since he was a child. Every toy, every drawing he traded with Jihyun when they were children, even tokens business partners have brought him over the years.

There are a few, though, that he remembers quite fondly.

There is, of course, Elizabeth the Third. There are no words for how happy she makes him in his daily life, and not a day goes by where he isn't grateful to V for introducing them. It is no exaggeration for him to say that her companionship has changed his life for the better.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that V is, in fact, very good at getting Jumin gifts. There was that year when he managed to source a book on the mystical arts on one of his travels, a rare copy Jumin had only heard of and, (despite Jaehee's best efforts) never managed to find himself. They had spent that evening going through it together, Jihyun joking about all the spells that would be coming from the penthouse after that.

There were the collection of childhood pictures that Jihyun had found in an old box in his house that he put into an album for Jumin. It still sits on his bookshelf, and when he’s feeling sentimental, he likes to take it out and go through it. He also likes to keep it around as evidence for the memories that V sometimes forgets. They always seem to be in his favour.

He had come to not expect much as far as his family and gifting goes. His mother has long since stopped sending him gifts on holidays, but his father had a way of gifting him things that carried more symbolic weight than sentimental value that Jumin had come to appreciate. Many of those gifts sit in his office at C&R, memories of all he has achieved and reminders of all that is expected of him. Latest in that collection is the crystal pen, the one meant to be used when signing contracts.

As for the members of the RFA, they often seemed at a loss for what to get him. Funnily enough, for all of Seven's incomprehensible messaging and his concerning fixation on his cat, he has often managed to surprise Jumin with gifts that he enjoyed. The little clock with cat ears that sits on the desk at Jumin’s home office is just the first in a series of little creations that Seven has made him. Interestingly, most are cat themed, which is only an added benefit.

But you, by far, had become his favourite person to receive gifts from. Your presence in his life has surely been the greatest gift life could have given him.  Each object had a personal touch that he valued far beyond anything he could receive otherwise.

Often times, his favourites end up being the things that remind him of you throughout his daily life, like the cufflinks that have your initials engraved on the edge, or the tie you had recently bought while out shopping because it reminded you of him. Even the smaller gifts were enough to make his day, like the time you brought him flowers to the office just to see him smile.

Sure, he could have anything, but what Jumin really wants from his loved ones is a reminder that they care for him, be it through big gifts or small ones.

[snoreyua]

₊˚ෆ ⁀➷　come back to me // ep. 6

synopsis : you and riki were childhood best friends doing everything together. when you entered middle school, you overheard him talking shit about you to his so-called friends. out of frustration, you moved schools and cut all contact with him. now starting a new year in high school, what will you do when riki unexpectedly transfers to your school? can you rebuild your friendship or will something much deeper will bloom?

word count : 865

warnings : fight scene and mentions of blood (only a tiny bit)

yua's notes : my 2024 comeback?! this is kinda like a filler chapter so its not v long too... love writers block sm!!

previous masterlist next story written under the cut

"thank you so much for looking after her riki!" your mother beamed at him as he smiled back to her. riki had dropped you off back to your house, and was standing in your living room as you watched them from the couch. "of course mrs l/n! i'm always happy to help," he looked at you with a fat grin before returning his gaze on your mother. the corners of your lips curled at his grin. it felt nice to see him so smiley with your mother. "ah dear, feel free to come here whenever! tell mrs. nishimura I said hello," she bid riki farewell. he waved to her before looking at you and waving with the same smile he had earlier. your felt your stomach doing back flips as you waved to him back, watching him walk down the street until he was out of sight.

you slumped back into the couch as your mother closed the door. the mere thought of his smile made you feel giddy inside. your mother clearly noticed your lovestruck behaviour, only chuckling at you while shaking her head. "honey it's been a while since you've been in such a good mood hm?" she looked at you as you automatically sat straighter and went back to a monotonous expression, acting like you weren't smiling to yourself a second ago. she dismissed the change in your mood, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

despite of tossing and turning last night barely able to get a wink of sleep, you felt well enough to go back to school. the air had a slightly chiller feel to you, making you shiver a bit. you didn't realise the sound of footsteps edging closer to you before a husky voice beside you appeared. "y/n! why don't you have more layers?" riki threw his blazer around your shoulders before holding both your arms, rubbing them as you walked. you became startled from his sudden actions towards you, making your face flush to a crimson. "riki you don't need to do that! aren't you cold too?" your eyes shifted to meet his gaze. he shook his head and continued to walk you to school. "I don't think I can leave you again when I think you need me most."

you and riki walked down the hall, all eyes going to you two. some people were whispering and pointing at you, simply flabbergasted at the thought of how you and him seemed so close. "people are looking riki…" you mumbled as you discreetly looked at him. he just shrugged. "I guess we're that eye catching, especially me," he joked before winking at you, making you scoff and roll your eyes in response. he dropped you off to your locker, before walking away to his class. "what was that?" eunchae appeared behind you, shock painted across her face. you awkwardly laughed, your normal riki hating self disappearing. "haha about that… bye!" you bolted down the hall. "Y/N WHAT THE FUCK COME BACK AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF"

you dropped in your seat still being pestered by eunchae. she tugged on your arm while whining. "y/n we're literally like best friends I have a right to know." eunchae looked at you with puppy eyes, making you scrunch your face in laughter. "alright wait so what happened was-" you were cut off by a harsh kick to the back of your chair, making your stomach hit the edge of the table. you rubbed your stomach, turning around to see jihyun. "you bitch. I thought I told you to stay away from riki?" she hissed as she got close to your face. of course it was her.

"damn jihyun didn't know you were his guardian angel" you retorted as you stood up from your desk, looking her straight in the eye. jihyun crossed her arms, leaning away from your face before looking you up and down. you heard her scoff before she spoke again. "wow y/n didn't know you were such the smartass," she snarked at you as she brought her hands up to shove you. you had enough. you balled your hand into a fist before delivering a brutal punch to her face. she stumbled back from the force of your punch, a small amount of blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. jihyun stood up, somewhat recovering from the blow on her face. she turned red in embarrassment, realising the whole class had seen her tantrum towards you and left.

eunchae popped behind you, grabbing you by the shoulders as she shook you. "I've NEVER seen someone embarrass jihyun like that ever girl! you really taught her a lesson," she nudged you gently with a wide grin on her face. "only downside is that you're gonna get called in by the principal since she's a really good actor," she groans making you giggle. it's not like jihyun has proper proof against you, especially since she initiated the fight. "I wouldn't worry about it eun," you smiled. eunchae sighed, shaking her head. "no I mean she tends to fake videos or gets fake witnesses… oh well i'm pretty sure the whole class saw her throw her fit, you're in the clear." "right?"

taglist (closed) : @viagumi @lilriswife4life @keiipopped @w0nslvr @mizomani @k25vi @bacterla @yumilovesloona @wendypopsi @ak-aaa-li @jakevascaino @iea-tsand @bbinwrld @en-happiness @wonniewonwon @jayhoonvroom @lovelovelovebts @ploopy1423 @microwvdstrawb3rri3s

[jinjinranran]

Eunji x V 💙

Another couple sharing a flag hehe

My hc that Jihyun is asexual was actually my main reason why I gave him an ace mc! And again my memory is bad so correct me if I'm wrong, but I kinda remember there was a part when Rika was upset that V never loved her "the right way"? Or something along those lines? Idk but yeah he gives me many ace vibes ✌️

Also he's panromanic bcs Vumin is real and no I don't accept criticism 😤💜💙 no but I really can't see him caring about gender at all, he just wants someone who would love and accept him for who he is.

Other characters: 💛 💜 🧡 💗 ❤️ 💚 💙 🤍 🤎

Eunji's story under the cut:

💙 Eunji Kim ♡ she/her ♡ 24 yo ♡ panromantic asexual

Eunji never really understood why sex played so much importance in people's lives. She's a very romantic person and craves affection - just not in the same way as other people around her. She's been in a few relationships - and she was truly in love - but to them, her love was never enough. She was made to believe that there's something "wrong" with her. And she even tried to "fix" it by giving in, but it just didn't feel right - she felt like she was lying, to them and to herself. So she decided to give up on trying and remove herself from dating pool completely (to her mother's huge disappointment as she expected her daughter to marry and give her grandchildren, and kept setting her up for blind dates).

Only after a honest talk with one of her younger siblings (the only one she could trust in that matter and who had much more knowledge on lgbt topics than her) she realized she might be asexual, that she's not broken and doesn't need to be fixed.

Remembering her past experiences, Eunji's mind yelled at her to not fall in love with Jihyun. But her heart didn't listen. And so, she fell hard. She was scared that she wouldn't be enough for him, just like she never was for everyone else; but V never made her fears come true. To him, she will always be enough just the way she is.

[marshmallowprotection]

Jihyun's new birthday CG is out! I am surprised that it doesn't fulfill the theme that we have used thus far, the theme of the characters being children. However, I'm going to comment on something that I don't think anybody is going to talk about since this is V, after all.

First of all, you guys should be jumping up and down at the moment because this is the first time he's ever had a kiss picture. I am so sorry it took this long for you guys to get a sweet kiss with your very tragic artist, but this is your lucky day. I never thought he was going to get kiss contents so I am pleasantly surprised in the best way. 

Second of all, as I saw this picture last night, the first thing that came to mind was that whatever painting was going to be on his easel, was going to be something significant in my head no matter what.

This is just my conclusion, and it's something that I'm going to continue to keep in my brain no matter what since it can't be proven one way or the other, but I do believe this painting is a recreation of the one he ripped to shreds after that final argument with his mother. 

Here's the crucial detail, he's not trying to recreate a one-for-one copy of what he created. I believe he is revisiting it because what is a better homage to his childhood than going back to the very thing that caused the Catalyst event in his life in the first place? He denied himself the ability to be the painter he wanted to be when he was young, and he said awful things to his mother that he could never take back. 

Revisiting something he tore to shreds would allow him the opportunity to have something substantial to look at, to say to himself, “I am no longer denying my creative process, and as I remake this painting that my mother loved, I want nothing more than to be able to feel that same liberating feeling I felt and tried to crush because I was too insecure to live my dream.” 

Even the event is him learning how to be a better partner who communicates with you. That's something he has to do in his good ending, and that's where this takes place. I want nothing more than for him to finally have some peace in his heart about what happened to his mother, and now that he's come full circle and learned that her sacrifice wasn't a sentiment he needed to take to heart as a lesson to never abandon people, even if those people hurt you. 

That wasn't why his mother sacrificed her life for him. She did that because she loved him and that was her only child. She was his mother and she loved him no matter what. The horrible words he said out of insecurity were never something she was upset about, she was saddened, more than anything.

She wanted her son to follow his dreams, even if one day he couldn't continue those dreams.

Much like how she had to stop her passionate career as a violinist because she wasn't sure how to continue playing after losing much of her hearing. But she still got to spend so many years of her life following her passion, and even if she couldn't continue it, she still had the chance to do it. She didn't want her son to snuff out his own passion well before he even tried. So, by revisiting that painting, doing it again, and putting back in what he's learned over the years, it's the opportunity of a lifetime to make peace with himself. 

He's living as himself and I think that's a nice way to tie in the childhood theme without actually having him be a child. It's not like we haven't had a photo of him as a child on the title screen before, actually, one of his last birthdays gave us a photo of him and his mother. 

[cupcakefactory]

Mystictober DAY 29

Wordcount: 354 words

Original list by @/dailysaeran

“You don’t have to do this”

She hissed to the man as he put his hand on the doorknob again, the Savior, JIhyun had yet again called for him.. Not that it surprised either of them. The older man was becoming restless as each and every admin turned against him - unwilling to listen and unwilling to do as told.

“I know sweetie, but if i don’t he will only take it out on you.. Like before”

She closed her eyes knowing he was right, Jihyun was an evil man now - nothing like the devoted father figure he displayed to her in the cathedral years ago. Those memories she would treasure for a lifetime but the man that helped make them died to her the moment he forced the elixir past her lips. She had done nothing wrong, she had simply asked of her mother - Rika. He couldn't remove all the memories of her, no matter how hard he tried but thanks to his torment the name so much as entering her mind could cause a panic attack.

Her Hyun knew that, her sweet Hyun - she saw the pain in his eyes when she was finally released back to the normal dorms. They’re relationship was no secret to anyone as he darted through the halls to get back to their bedroom and back to her side. He knew she was in agony - everyone knew that, everyone was scared of the Elixir.

But that was before, recently something had changed. Was it all the admins; former members of the RFA turning against him? Was it the pain of watching as others formed bonds in a place meant to create hell - she remembered the first day she entered this place. Cold, Alone and scared.. She doubted shed believe herself if she was told what life would be like now. 

“I don’t know if he will.. He's a little.. Wet”

The laugh, his laugh was music to her ears as his mint eyes met hers, and not for the first time she knew that once they escaped this place they'd stay together.