#jfc this took me all day to write

[millenniumdueled]

Their Duel begins, and Raphael starts off strong, with powerful monsters to guard him against everything the Other Yugi tries to throw at him. Even the attack that had defeated the god Obelisk is useless against Raphael. And like before, Raphael seems to be willing to do anything to keep his Guardians from the Graveyard, even at the cost of his own Lifepoints.

Would a man like that really play the Seal?

Other Yugi tries to remind Raphael of his bond with his Guardians, to make him look at himself and the respect he shows his monsters.

But it's no use. His words never seem to get through to the man.

"I'm willing to accept the darkness in my heart. That's what makes us different, Nameless Pharaoh," he says flatly, staring down at the cards in his hand with a neutral, tight-lipped expression. "Unlike you, I'm willing to make it a part of myself, to fulfil my destiny until the time of my own sacrifice."

On the street far below, Yugi's friends stop in their tracks outside the Paradias headquarters. Téa gasps, her heart sinks as a pillar of teal light illuminates the rooftop that towers over their group.

Are they too late?

They all race into the building, across the lobby to fill the elvator. It ascends achingly slow, every second filled with trepidation. Tristan shifts the unconscious Joey on his back. Kaiba taps his foot.

When the doors finally opens and they all spill out onto the roof, it's to a dismal scene. Their friend standing at only 500 Lifepoints, facing a powerful Guardian Eatos with black feathered wings and 7000 Attack.

"That's the monster that beat him last time--" Tristan gasps.

But this time, Other Yugi has a plan. He's able to force Raphael's turn to end, to buy himself some time.

But is that all he can do? Stall?

He glances at the group of his friends cheering for him now.

Another turn comes and goes, before Other Yugi finally pulls the Eye of Timaeus. Yes!! It fuses with Yugi's beloved Dark Magician to create a dragon with an effect to make it powerful enough to destroy Raphael's Guardian.

Will this finally make him see?

Watching his beloved Guardian fall?

A storm of black feathers swirls across the field. When they settle, Raphael has steeled himself once again. He stands with his fists clenched, his jaw set, his shoulders tight. As he shakes with rage, he sets a cutting, red-eyed glare at the Other Yugi.

The Seal pulsates. Throbbing like the pulse in Raphael's ears.

Other Yugi feels his blood run cold.

"You sent my Guardian Eatos to the grave...." Raphael's voice shakes with resentment.

The rooftop seems to crack open, a black mist errupting from the crevice. A rotting hand, bound in dirty bandages reaches up from the depths of hell.

"But you can never kill it. Their corpse will take revenge."

The monster that climbs to the field stinks of decay, red eyes glowing behind a white mask and a mess of long, matted hair. It reaches out one of those rotting hands, and a massive, black scythe appears.

In order for the zombie to attack, Raphael has to sacrifice all of his other monsters on the field. He sends them all to the grave without a hint of hesitation.

"How could you," Other Yugi gasps. "After all you did to keep them alive--"

There's nothing he can do as the undead Guardian Dreadscythe destroys his Amulet Dragon. Other Yugi's Lifepoints drop to 300.

He can't give up now. Even without his powerful dragon, the Pharaoh swears to see this through.

But his heart aches for his enemy.

And all he can seem to do is stall.

Even after returning the Eye of Timaeus to his hand to play again, he can't destroy Dreadscythe. He lets out a frustrated scream as his dragon is destroyed again, leaving him with a measly 10 Lifepoints.

"Why are you just drawing out the inevitable? What makes you think you can escape your destiny?"

Other Yugi is quiet as he draws for his next turn. He looks at the card he's just pulled for a moment, and his expression softens. "Why are you so sure you can't?"

"It hurt, didn't it? When you sent all of your precious Guardians to the Graveyard, your heart was screaming. Wasn't it?"

Raphael falls silent, narrowing his red eyes at his opponent.

"My Partner helped me see how important it is to understand the burdens of my enemies. To feel their pain.... You've accepted the darkness inside yourself, but that Seal is keeping you from accepting the sorrow you feel too. So, I'll remind you."

The card he plays next lets him take Monster Reborn from his opponent's Graveyard. But this time, it isn't his own monster he revives.

White feathers rain from the sky as Eatos rises again, on Other Yugi's side of the field now.

But Other Yugi isn't done.

He still has one card in his hand, and as he looks at it now, a little smile crosses his lips. He glances behind him, to the unconscious form of his best friend, still held on Tristan's back, and plays the Claw of Hermos. The Goddess Bow that it creates raises Eatos's Attack, matching that of the Dreadscythe.

The zombie's effect prevents it from being destroyed, at the cost of one card in Raphael's hand. But the Bow's effect allows Eatos to attack again whenever that effect activates, over and over, until Raphael has nothing left to discard, and the two Guardians go down together.

Raphael falls to his knees as he calls Eatos's name.

A hush settles over the battlefield.

"I knew you'd call for Eatos. And not that thing," Other Yugi says, after a moment. "You called out for the light, you changed your heart. You can change your destiny--"

"I said it's too late for that." Raphael takes a deep breath. He doesn't bother to stand again. When he looks up from the card he's just drawn, that pointed malice in his eyes has once again turned to sorrow. "The Seal of Orichalcos will take the loser's soul. You still can't change that."

He plays Soul Charge, instantly bringing back every monster in his Graveyard... except for Dreadscythe. The resurrected monsters can't attack this turn, but it doesn't matter. Every one that takes the field drains 500 Lifepoints from Raphael.

They hit 0 as Eatos takes their place on his field, and the Seal closes in around him.

But as the Other Yugi swallows down the bittersweet taste of this victory, his eyes go wide.

Though the light of the Seal fades, Raphael doesn't. The man blinks in confusion, reaches for the turquoise stone around his neck, only for it to crack and shatter in his hand.

There's little time to assess what just happened, however, as the building begins to shake.

"Run," Raphael orders. "This building is set to collapse when our Duel ended."

Though the others immediately turn to run for Kaiba's waiting helicopter, the Other Yugi hangs back, trying to pull a man twice his size to his feet. "I'm not leaving you, Raphael. Get up," he urges, but the Duel had taken its toll on him. Though the Seal had left his soul, it had seemed to sap all of Raphael's energy as it faded.

He tries to stumble along, to support himself and follow, and the Other Yugi does his best to support him. But as pieces of the rooftop crumble around them, it's clear they can't both make it in time.

Raphael slips something into the Other Yugi's hand as he makes up his mind. Takes a deep breath and summons every trace of strength he has left to scoop up the much smaller man and toss him onto the open ramp of the helicopter that hovers at the building's edge. But there isn't time for him.

As the others help pull him safely inside, the Other Yugi screams for Raphael as the facade of Doma's corporate empire crumbles to dust.

[commander-damneron]

I have never felt so vibdicated to be in so much pain

[fire-lizard-ro]

Hi Roro, hope you’re doing well! Let me start by saying your Sunday stuff is MAGNIFICENT, oh my gosh this MAN-

I’ve come with a request for you…

Dr. Veritas Ratio x fem or gn reader. Bathtub. Sex. Like most of the time he’s only interested in reading in the tub, rejecting reader’s advances. But one day, idk, he’s in a MOOD but he doesn’t want to admit it, so he lets reader go a little further than normal with her advances, but he’s still being petty about it, kinda denying and still trying to read his book or whatever and it just Escalates eventually…

Aaaa thank you so much if you decide to do my request! Remember to take breaks and stay hydrated!

I'm ILL over this man jfc-

Dr. Ratio here to prescribe you with a dose of vitamin D-//SHOT

Veri, my love, please just one chance I'm begging just a crumb oisego-

But yesssss gimme the bathtube sex I want it- I wanna do all kinds of wild things to or with this man. Crazy.

But hehehe I know what you are. 👁️👁️

A s i m p . 🫵 (Like I'm any better.)

And thank you!!! This took a While, but I did it. I had lots of fun with it so feel free to request again~

CW and writing under the cut:

CW: vagina and cock (gasp), PIV sex, cockwarming, rough sex, hair pulling, choking (+some breath play), cumming inside (wrap it before you tap it folks), spanking, degradation+praise, objectification, kinda sorta human furniture thing???, name calling (ex:slut), use of words like "cunt" (wow that feels weird writing here-), marking, ignoring you during cockwarming, doggy position(?), cum play, holding your hands behind your back, discussion of safe wording (check-ins), kinda cum as lube?, funishment, d/s aspects to the relationship (though you are dating for romantic reasons as well), slight pussy slapping, talking to your pussy (I know this man a freak <333), crying during sex (+dacryphilia), dumbification (ofc this was gonna be here), ruined orgasm, edging, slight cum eating, a liiiiittle bit of gagging (w/ fingers), usage of "pet" exactly once

Reader gender: fem (I talked with anon separately and they decided on this when I asked for preference- I also only have one fem reader ask. If people want, I can write another version tweaked to be gn or AMAB/male reader~)

Disclaimers:

>>>Dr. Ratio will be referred to as Veritas here since reader is dating him.

>>>This was written and almost finished before 1.6 release.

Bathtub sex, surprisingly, probably isn't the norm for you two. After all, Veritas (oml it feels weird calling him that after so long of calling him Ratio-) enjoys his down time in the bath where he can relax with you and read his books. I like to think that it's one of the few times when his ever racing mind is a bit quieter. So when you are finally pent up enough at just the right time to want to pounce on him in the tub, he's a bit surpised at first. But the surprise would soon melt into mild annoyance. "Can't you just stay still? Quit it- I'm trying to read."

Of course he says it in that ever dramatic way of his while not even glancing up from his book. Speaking of said book- "You're going to get my book wet, darling-" (Yes, he's a "darling" kind of guy. It's sophisticated as he is. And you know he'd say it with that drawl of his and drag the word out. Sometimes in those more intimate moments, it sounds almost like a sultry purr with the way he says it, commanding all your attention.) "And if you do that, you know I'm going to have to punish you, hm?" You almost want it if it means he'd touch you where you want him, but you know that his punishments aren't necessarily fun. Yet still you like them all the same.

(They're more of funishments than punishments in this case- Please do know that funishments and punishments aren't the same, my dear little kinksters~ Since the reader actually enjoys these "punishments" a lot and they are done for their and Veritas' mutual gratification, it's a funishment. These are normally for bratting behavior while actual punishments are for serious things and are meant to actually discourage the behavior that earned you the punishment. Hopefully I explanied it well, lololol-)

But of course you continue to try and rouse his interest, touching him here and there. It reaches the point where you manage to wiggle your way between his arms, in front of his book. Not only does this block his view, but you're dripping water all over his book! (It was all of one or two droplets.) If you listened close enough, you'd probably have heard the sound of his reason breaking in that moment. Like you had poked a sleeping bear one too many times. (And some little part of himself that knew it was also partly because he also was getting into a mood was squashed. Of course it was just because you needed to be disciplined.)

"That's it. You want my attention, darling? Well now you have it.” There was something dark in his voice that sent a shiver down your back and made your nethers tingle in anticipation. He snapped the book closed and set it on the table by the bathtub almost gently, a stark contrast between how his voice sounded and how he was looking at you. He'd tilt his head and consider you, seemingly thinking about how best to punish you for your transgressions. "Hands on my shoulders and do not move them. Color?" Veritas was launching right into it, huh? "Green." "Good."

With hands on his strong shoulders, you watched him with eyes darting around his form to try and figure out what he'd do. Your question was answered by a hand gripping your hip and another dragging down between your breasts, then over your belly, then stopping on your mound. He didn't move any lower, fingers thrumming there just above where you wanted him. Teasing. "I can see your cunt drooling from here. Was she just so hungry that you couldn't be good and hold it until we were out of the tub?" Heat bloomed in your cheeks as he spoke. "Should I punish her? Hm?" Veritas gave your wetness a few light slaps, just enough to make you jolt but not enough to do more than just barely sting. "No- It isn't her fault she's so empty and wanting. But it is your fault that you couldn't be obedient and wait. Isn't that right, my cute little slut?" He whispered in your ear, leaned forward to curl possessively over you while his fingers slipped down to trace around your twitching hole as it tried to suck his finger in.

"Mmmmm..." he hummed lowly, the sound vibrating against you where your chests were pressed together. He kissed the spot beneath your ear before his lips marked a path down your neck, sucking and nipping marks into the tender flesh there. Just as he reached the junction between your neck and shoulder, he suddenly sunk his teeth in and thrusted two fingers into you at the same time. Veritas had sneakily wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you still right before so you weren't able to squirm away from his teeth or his fingers that now plunged in and out of you, agonizingly slow after that fast, rough entry.

The man pressed a kiss to your new bitemark before sliding the hand of the arm around your waist up your back to latch onto your nape and hold you still for a kiss. He chuckled into it as you attempted to fight him for dominance, your tongues clashing. Ultimately, he won and was now devouring your mouth, licking into it with fervor.

At some point, his fingers began to speed up. Veritas was fingerfucking you with his palm slapping against your throbbing clit. And right as you felt yourself begin that climb- He slowed down, his thrusts going back to a leisurely rhythm. He swallowed the whine that left your throat, smirking into the kiss you were still locked in. As he pulled away, he looked incredibly smug. "Thought it would be that easy? Of course not. This is a punishment.”

He did this another time, bringing you close to the rise of pleasure (not at all that close to your peak, though) before going frustratingly slowing. The third time, however... It didn't seem that he was going to stop, and you felt it build and build inside you like a white hot flame. And right as you were reaching the end... He spanked you and ripped his fingers out, sending you over the edge but ruining your orgasm. It had tears beading in your eyes. Fuck did that make him want to fuck you absolutely stupid, but he had more control than that. Your punishment was far from over.

He soothingly ran his hand over your back as you leaned into him, body shivering. "Color?" Through your panting breaths, you managed a weak, "Green." "Good girl." He didn't let you rest any longer, manhandling you into a new position. Now you were leaned over the edge of the tub with your hands keeping you from falling out, Veritas behind you. "I'm going to fuck you now, and you're going to take it all like a good girl, right?" At first you thought he was talking to you, but then he caressed your slit and cooed at it. That mixed sense of shame and arousal shot through you and had you clenching around nothing, making Veritas laugh condescendingly. "So honest..."

Again he started out slow, the sensual slide of his cock inside of your pussy making you close your eyes to focus on the pleasure he was giving you. But he was faster to ramp things up now that he'd already edged you and ruined one of your orgasms. It may or may not have also been because he was quite ready to slake his own lust with your body.

The only reason you didn't slam your face into the tub's edge or fall out was Veritas' grip on you when he grabbed both of your wrists and pulled your arms behind your back. You felt a hand slide into your hair and then he was thrusting into you hard, the slap of his hips slamming into your ass loud in the confined space of the bathroom. It was obscene the way you could even hear the wet sound of his cock going in and out of you amplified by the natural acoustics of said bathroom. "You like hearing how well you take me, slut? I certainly do. It's filthy. Fitting-"

Your hips are bruising from them being pressed onto the edge of the tub, bumping into it with almost every thrust. It hurt but fuck did it all feel so good because he was pressing against your sweet spot every time he fucked into your wet hole.

The hand pulling your head back by your hair let go only to wrap around your throat and pull you up so your back pressed against his chest. "Fuck you sound like such a whore right now. Are you my good little whore? Just for me?" Of course you couldn't answer because your mind was blank from his hand pressing just right to cut off some of that blood flow. Oh and because he had also just tilted his hand to cut off your air. He held for a bit, waiting until your vision was a bit fuzzy at the edges before letting you breathe, the feeling of the air rushing back into your lungs making you dizzy. You felt so close you could scream- And then you nearly did when he pulled out and stopped your orgasm.

His hands let go of you and you nearly keeled over, but he caught you. With an arm around your waist, you couldn't tell what he was doing behind you until you heard the slick sound of him fisting his cock. Right as he began cumming, he slammed back into you to fill you with it while biting down hard on the back of your neck. Another bite to mark you as his.

Veritas then pulled out so the last few spurts of cum would paint your labia in white, marking you inside and out with his spend.

You could feel the frustrated tears pouring down your face as you felt your burning arousal festering in your belly and the mix of embarrassment and thrill at his actions. Fuck this man would be the end of you. He unlatched from your neck to lean forward and lick the tears off your face with a hum. "You look so pretty like this..." He patted your ass before that same hand was sliding down to open you up using your pussy lips as he leaned back to watch as the cum he poured into you began to slip out.

Scooping up the cum that had dribbled out, he fingered it back in, purposefully tapping at your gspot a few times. He then pulled the white covered fingers out and petted your clit, playing with it a little before bringing it to your face. "Clean them off." Your tongue kitten licked some of it off before he was shoving them in your mouth. You gagged a little, drooling over his fingers while weakly sliding your tongue over them to clean them of the cum clinging to them.

"Good girl," he praised with a kiss to your jaw before he let out a sigh. "I'm going to sit you on my cock and finish my reading. Color?" "Green, fuck-" "That's a good pet."

Warming his cock while leaned forward to rest your arms on the lip of the tub while your head rested on those was hard. You desperately wanted to cum, but you now were willing to be obedient to get what you wanted. You weren't sure how much more punishment you could take. It didn't help that he had an arm resting on the back of your hips, slung over them as he leaned on you a bit while his other arm rested atop the other one. That hand was holding up his book. He wasn't touching you besides that and your ass resting in the cradle of his hips, cock deep inside your pussy which still fluttered around his thickness occasionally. Every time you squirmed he would spank you with a pointed look before going back to his book, ignoring you entirely. Any whining or talking would be met with the same treatment.

He checked in on you after a bit. "Color?" "...yellow." His demeanor changed immedately. Petting your side, he eased you back to lean against him once more. "What's wrong, baby?" He typically saved that endearment for intimate moments alone together and times like this where you might need reassurance. "I wanna see your face... wanna hold you." It seemed you might be a bit sensitive, now, after being punished for a while and needed that from him. "Of course, baby. Your punishment is almost over. I'll let you come soon and we can continue in the bedroom, hm?" You loved this man. "Okay." He kissed your forehead. "Good girl."

He slipped out, making you whine. It was met with a chuckle and he helped you turn around to slide into his lap again, this time facing him.

Veritas pulled you to rest against him, tucking you into his neck as he wrapped an arm around your waist. Once you both were settled in, he went back to reading. He still ignored you, but it wasn't so bad this time.

You knew he was done when he set his book on the table again.

He settled his grip on your hips before going straight into fucking up into you hard and fast, what cum was still left in you from his cock plugging it in you aiding the slide of dick in and out of you. He fucked you and played with you until you felt like you couldn't think straight. Even when he asked you questions, knowing you couldn't answer, you weren't quite sure what you said. Whether it was even coherent or not.

"Such a cute, dumb girl for me."

As you came around his cock again, you moaned as you felt the warmth of his cum in you. "Did so, so good for me. Such a good girl." Veritas gave you some time to come down from your high before asking. "Do you want to continue in the bedroom or are you finished for the night?" "...m' done." "Alright, baby." He gave you some more time before cleaning you up and draining the tub. Another kiss was pressed to your forehead, then your cheek, then your lips. "Let's go to bed, darling. I'll take care of you."

Lololol hopefully you like it. 🙏

If there’s any typos or if it doesn’t make sense somewhere… Your honor my client claims “oopsie daisy”. It’s me. The client is me, your honor-

[angstandhappiness]

VERY FASCINATING, So MK and SWK is the classis JTTW slow-burn family feels while Macintosh and MK is the volatile, enemies-to-begrudging ally-to maybe friends

What are your in depth thoughts about MK’s and Sun Wukong’s vs MK’s and Macaque’s relationships? Because lemme tell you I’ve got so many it’s essay worthy

i saved you for last <3 but i honestly don't know if i can talk about this coherently T^T

short answer: they are on different levels in 2 ways, MK's comfortability and in how they grow

long answer: *inhales*

so you see, there are many levels that are set between the two relationships. and by levels i mean power dynamics, casualness, formalities, respect, and idolization :)

MK and Sun Wukong

with MK and Sun Wukong their relationship began very formal. MK was simply Wukong's student (with a wish to one day be close friends with his mentor/idol), but then by around 1x09, there becomes this shift in their dynamic. in this episode, we do get insight into how far Wukong actually cares for MK because for about most of s1, the monkey keeps his distance while putting up a laid back attitude. but after MK admits to his desire of being "good enough, like [Wukong]," you will notice that Sun Wukong, slowly starts to pull down his walls for MK. he even invites MK to stay over with him for New Years (2x00), despite knowing that it was more likely for MK to leave and celebrate with his friends. (WHICH MK EVEN SAYS BECAUSE BY THIS POINT MK COMES TO REALIZE THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP MIGHT NEVER BREACH INTO THE FRIENDSHIP HE ROMANTICIZED IN HIS HEAD. THUS SHOWING HOW THE TWO ARE DOING A REVERSE IN THEIR DYNAMIC AND- *gets dragged away to calm down*)

as i was saying.

in s2, Wukong ends up leaving to investigate a way to stop LBD before things blow over (which succeeds and fails bc it did, in fact, blow over). he didn't do it because he believed that it would hurt MK. personally, my assumption is that Sun Wukong didn't really see himself as that great of a mentor and that MK had been able to quickly pick up on new moves and techniques without much help from him, and with that thought, he believed that by leaving MK nothing but scrolls and a goal, MK would still be capable of mastering the new skills (which he did, thereby reinforcing that idea). but unfortunately, our beloved monkey king forgot that while MK is a very capable individual of incredible power, he's not confident in himself. he's simply "just loud" about himself and his prowess (which, if you noticed, MK grew even more quieter about this in seasons 2 & 3....fascinating).

so now there's this manufactured push to bring back their previous formality because Wukong is not completely ready to tell MK the truth despite how much he cares and trusts him (because, and this is my opinion, Wukong really wants to ensure that MK is not too involved in something as dangerous as LBD because she can get into your head and she can make matters worse for everybody). said manufactured push confuses MK because they had come so far from 1x01 and the distance they had before. sure, it's not as close as s3 and s4, but it definitely felt like they were at the cusp of something. this leaves MK sort of in his own limbo on where he stands with the Monkey King, and even if he sought advice about this with his friends, none of them have met the guy yet and can only make opinions based on their assumptions of what they feel like is going on (*cough, cough* Pigsy *cough, cough*).

and even after s2, in s3 Wukong is exhausted, a lot of his power depleted, and has to try and mingle civilly with MK's friends on a mission he originally planned to do alone (a suicidal mission to obtain the Samadhi Fire, if i might add). his reasoning for refusing at the beginning is because they are mortals, which MK misinterprets to mean that Wukong does not think MK can handle this mission and wants to prove himself.

omg their relationship is so complicated and messy T^T i love it

anyway, MK's and Sun Wukong's relationship is a push and pull between both people wanting to uphold and prove their worth to the other (Wukong lying to keep MK ignorant of a danger the monkey plans to eradicate in secret VS MK pushing himself into becoming powerful in order to prove himself as someone swk sees as worthy to trust). also, their dynamic is literally a platonic slow burn that slowly brings them closer and closer with s4 beginning with them (swk mostly lol) trying to be more honest and upfront about their thoughts and feelings. and s4 ending with the two actually fighting for each other and protecting each other and fighting WITH each other and T^T it's so beautiful. but also because their dynamic is a slow burn, that provides ample time to seed in doubt and insecurities and wanting to bottle up your issues to keep the peace and-

ugh T^T them <3

(side note: the actual timeline of this show is a tad confusing to me. how long was s1? a month, a couple months, a week? how long was s2? how long is the gap between seasons???? idk and i've tried to find something feasible to work with but i'm mostly just taking an "academic" estimation)

but now onto Macky and MK's relationship!

Mackenzie and MK

this one despite how rocky it looks is not a slow burn dynamic. it's got a fun roller coaster of levels because it goes "secret mentor/student" to "enemies" to "frenemies?" to "morally dubious but is actually a softie" to "potential mentor 2.0???" and i love it.

so, MK and Macky's dynamic begins in 1x09 (the blessed episode) since that's Mackackle's introduction to the show and MK begins to train under him in secret because MK is frustrated with swk's teaching methods. through the brief montage of MK's training, i can't help but notice the words and phrasing Macky uses:

Mackarell: [sounding disappointed] Not bad...[chuckles] [in a mocking tone] don't get me wrong, but I was expecting a little more with someone of your power. MK: [is defensive] H-hey, I've got more- I can give way more than that! [sighs] I can do better. Macaroni: [bemused] Kay, maybe show me next time.

ok, honestly, i just wanna talk about this. because if you heard it without seeing Marconi's face and how they animated him, you could side-step the the fake disappointment and mocking tone. what he's saying on the surface, isn't anything malicious or cruel. he is acting like a mentor and it appears like he is trying to encourage MK so he can stop hesitating. but that's not what Mac's really doing.

he is acting disappointed in MK because MK has a need to prove himself. the scene before MK meets Macaque, he is with Wukong and is frustrated by how slow his training is. he knows he can do some pretty powerful moves if his mentor allowed him to, if only he can prove to him that he can level up from the "baby stuff", if only he could have someone see that potential and train him in something more his "style." how convenient that right after he vents his frustrations MK encounters exactly what he wants, but oh no, they're disappointed in his strength and prowess, he has to prove that wrong, he CAN prove that wrong.

see where i'm going? MK fell for Macky's web, hook-line-and-sinker because it was tailor made for him. BUT! this mentor/student dynamic does not last very long. and that's mostly because it never a long term relationship in the slightest. Macky always planned to use MK's powers for his own, so now the two are slotted into the enemies level. they were never on equal ground like MK thought, or even on a similar mentor/student level MK has with Wukong. Macaquack absolutely abused that dynamic for his own gain and MK lost his trust for it.

MK cannot trust Macky, why should he? in s2, MK and Macky's relationship is mostly antagonistic because Mk cannot trust Mac and Mac enjoys tormenting the guy by hanging his insecurities over him. they are not on equal ground. Mac only sees MK as some mortal child who is in over his head and thinks he can be a Wukong 2.0 while MK sees Mac as someone who betrayed his trust, tried to kill him and his mentor and it is very personal.

but then there's this interesting choice made by lmk. Mac warns MK of an upcoming danger. why does he do it? he had just proven that he is an enemy! but also, he ends up freeing MK's friends on the basis that it "wasn't fun anymore". why take pity (should we even call it pity) on MK enough to tell him that "big things are coming"?

why choose to give MK some (very vague) advice about what's to come? what caused Macky to decide to offer this information?

well, 1st it is clearly the writers' way of showing that there is more than meets the eye with Macky. this is a little indicator for the audience about "hey! keep an eye on him! he's more complex than you think! he's more than a stock villain!" 2nd, this is the very first push into Mac's more amiable relationship with MK.

in s3, Macky is under LBD's command and has to follow her orders or else she might send him back to the Diyu either by ripping his soul from his body, or encasing him in ice/bone. he is only on her side to survive. he doesn't even plan to stay. instead, it really looks like Mac wants to escape from her hold (which he eventually plans out after learning about the gang's mission to find the Rings of Samadhi).

when it comes to MK, Mac is very antagonistic. @shadowpeachyuri made a really great analysis on Macky's antagonistic behavior in s3. especially in 3x04 where he taunts and mocks MK for his self worth and powers, but he's also stalling from his own mission in retrieving MK for LBD. most of s3 is him stalling and picking fights with people rather than do his own job. not to mention, that he purposefully separated MK and Wukong believing it would be easier to retrieve them. but why all the stalling and hesitation? because he's upset with his circumstances, and wants to take out on everyone? yeah, that's definitely part of it.

still in s3 Mac is not trying to befriend MK, he's not trying to help him either, but he also isn't truly trying to catch him. his main objective is getting out of dodge, escaping and finding somewhere that is far from here. yet, he can't help but challenge MK into using his powers, offer some (very biased and skewed) advice on who the guy should trust. and it's not until "Embrace Your Destiny" when his on-again and off-again mood finally gets to MK because he saved MK, he brought MK to Mei and he gave them the Not-Mayor guy for information.

just...this whole exchange T^T

Mackardy: Look, I brought you the Lady Bone Demon's lapdog, but I'm not up for being a hero, kid.

here lies, Macky trying to tell MK that he is not on his side. he has been constantly antagonistic and while LBD is also his enemy, he was planning to just give MK and his gang enough help for them to plan out how to defeat her.

MK: We don't need you to beat him. We just need you to keep him busy. As long as he's [Monkey King] under her control the Mech's vulnerable. We can do this! You can do this.

enter MK, looking at Macky with such optimism and arguing back at Macky with the guy's own logic. it won't be a battle to try and defeat Wukong, Macky just has to "keep him busy". Stall, like he's been doing for all of s3. and he sprinkles in a bit more optimism and encouragement to sweeten the deal.

Macaroon: Nice speech, kid but it's not gonna- MK: [frustrated growl] STOP! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you're just in it for you! But I know deep, deep down: you're not that guy. Help us. Make it right. Macadoodle: I'm not a hero, bud MK: Then be a warrior!

personally, i feel like this is the moment where the two's new dynamic begins. also, Macky and MK's relationship feels a but more on equal footing. neither of them hold a pedestal or an image of who they are. MK is able to figure out that a lot of Macky's outward appearance is just that, an appearance. and Macky is able to see that MK isn't some Wukong 2.0 he imagined up in his head in s1. MK is the Monkey King's successor but he is also his own person who will and has made different decisions than Wukong.

after s3, their dynamic is very similar to mentor/student in 4x10, but not in the same way as in 1x09. Macky isn't trying to be manipulative or play with double meanings, he's actually trying to help and figured a video game rpg would be the best bet since MK likes video games. MK is able to snap back at Macky and isn't afraid of showing the monkey his worries and fears (something he's struggling to with Wukong and vice versa) because Macky has seen that side of him already.

idk it's fascinating. i feel like i'm repeating myself a lot, but my main takeaway is that MK and Wukong have a slow burn friendship that began with formalities and over the seasons, they gradually grew closer and more comfortable with admitting that they care about each other (mostly Wukong needed this help but it's ok). and MK and Macky's relationship though began as enemies, grew into 2 characters who view each other as equals by the end and respect ach other loads.

there be my thoughts *jazz hands*

[drenched-in-sunlight]

"Marika becomes the sum of all the Fromsoft girlies" is nice but you forgot Nashandra who actually has parallels with Marika! Recommending to check it out, she's cool!

let’s get this out of the way now… I love DS2, I think the vibe and gameplay is immaculate and I’ll defend it as a whimsical and enjoyable videogame experience till the end of time.

But my god, I hate how they handle female characters in that one 💀

In fact, I don’t like how they handle female characters in DS franchise in general. It got a bit better in Bloodborne and Sekiro and especially AC6, but overall ever since I started playing Fromsoft game in 2020, my main gripe with them is they only have 2 tropes to shoehorn their female character into: helpless victim of a system that would mangle and exploit them OR serious sword lady. And if I’m being real, it’s the main gripe I have with Elden Ring base game too?

I didn’t discuss it on tumblr because back then I were still trying to keep this blog art-focused, but when the game came out in 2022, I did express my concern on twitter that I found the female characters cast… strangely lacking. Because I went into the game expecting Ema-level of writing (literally Sekiro’s Ema is one of the best female characters Fromsoft has ever written to this day I could and have talked ppl’s ears off about her. And I’m glad she on her own is very different from Marika. That means they could at least write 2 more types of female characters now the bar is on the floor but I’ll take it and cherish what I have), but it felt like they got reset back to DS franchise with ER base game.

(This has an added layer of me being a girl born, raised and lived in a Sinosphere country that is entrenched in Confucius values just like Japan, so yes I do understand and experience firsthand the underlying culture values that shapes their writing. Hell, I live and study postgraduate in Japan for 2 years too).

But we are going off track, this is about DS2. Now, my problem with DS2 is, see, with 1 or 3, the female characters either have very little agency or no agency at all. And it just…. be like that. The male characters are somewhat the same, so it really doesn’t bother me that much. The cool, unique, not sexualized design is enough. But 2?

2 has a lot of female characters…. who either play no role in the world setting or sinister figures that charm men and bring ruins to kingdoms? What?

(Before anyone says “but Lucatiel—” Lucatiel is the beacon of light in that game, yes, but at the same time her purpose centering around her brother is… also a problem I have with the way they handle Malenia’s story. My Fromsoft experience has lore to it as well jfc)

Like, it’s just ??? to me half of those women have no agency or backstory whatsoever apart from being the Dark’s daughters that would bring doom everywhere they go??? You can say everything wrong in DS2 world is their fault and I actually wouldn’t have much to argue. Actually, it’s interesting you bring up Nashandra because I do think Nashandra has parallel in Elden Ring. But not to Marika.

Nanaya.

That’s who reminds me of Nashandra in Elden Ring. Literally the mysterious, lowkey nefarious lady and her old man husband with questionable dynamic DS2 trope 🧍‍♀️ you can actually see that in their name too.

If I have to pick a character in DS franchise specifically to make parallel to Marika, it’ll always be Gwynevere. Because I honestly think it’s amazing they took a character that has the least amount of agency they’ve ever created, and turned the core concept of her (warmth, healing spells, sunlight, mother, daughter, queen, faith) into another character with actual good writing.

That’s why I didn’t include Nashandra in my previous post. Not because I don’t know about her. It’s because I know.

[epitomereally]

H/D Erised 2023 fic claim: True Love Gave To Me for @bicholsdrarrysideblog

It’s the first of December, and all Draco wants to do is make Christmas lovely for Scorpius. But then Harry Potter shows up, asking him to save the world, and it turns out they’ve almost saved the world a couple of times before. One-hundred and forty-four times, to be exact. Or: what happens after the time loop?

BICHOL, I had the absolute best time writing this fic for you. I spent about five million years trolling your bookmarks (which are hilarious & you have the best taste jfc), and lovedlovedloved pining Harry + doesn’t-believe-he-deserves-good-things Draco. Add in Scorpius and just a pinch of a plot and voila: this fic was born! Thank you so much again for pinch-hitting for Erised this year ♡

This fic took a gaggle of Christmas elves, angels, ghouls, and Krampus to drag over the finish line—@citrusses and @mallstars for their incredible alpha work, and @queenie-jinny and @sleepstxtic for pushing me to fix my tenses, catching all my typos, and generally betaing this fic on a timeline that I cannot even comprehend for myself. All of you are so so so appreciated.

a little Christmas snippet ♡

It’s only as he’s pounding on the door, Scorpius holding his hand in his most darling emerald wool cloak, that Draco begins to question his actions.

It’s too late though. Harry Potter answers it.

“Draco?” He’s still in pyjamas, red and covered in tiny fluttering Snitches. They look like childrens’ pyjamas magically sized up, with how Potter’s knobbly ankles show. “How’d you get past the Fidelius?”

Draco waggles his fingers, and says, “Loop magic?” Then he immediately remembers how absolutely idiotic Pansy looks when she does that and drops his hands to his side, lickety-split.

“Hi, Potter!” Scorpius waves.

Potter’s face lights up instantly, and the gnawing ache grows inside Draco. It’s just—how can anyone just wear their feelings on their face like that? It’s not fair: not fair to Draco, not fair to Scorpius, not fair to Potter. Not fair to Draco’s heart—144 days sounds like an eternity, but it doesn’t feel like enough for Potter to—for whatever Potter’s feeling, right there on his face, for the world to see. For Draco to see.

But Draco knows he made the right choice as soon as Potter squats onto his knees and starts chattering to Scorpius. Scorpius is unusually gregarious with Potter, and Draco wonders if perhaps the finger-waggly loop magic may actually have something to do with it—the easy way Scorpius takes Potter’s hand when it took him ages to warm up to Blaise when he’d returned from abroad. Or maybe it’s just Potter: his palpable warmth, the way he acts genuinely interested in what Scorpius has to say, how his smile lights up his whole face and his eyes say I could love you; let me love you.

for those who care: fonts are aquiline two and alegraya. painting is by bruno liljefors, vintervita trädtoppar med orrar

[viburnt]

Takami K. (Hawks) || Public

Type: Reading bites

Genre: NSFW/Suggestive

Notes: Oh, God. Oh, fuck. I still don't know how to write sex, jfc. I'm practicing.

Characters involved: Takami Keigo (Hawks)

Prompt: “You smell so sweet”/ Public indecency

It would be a scandal if the number two pro-hero, Hawks, dated someone in public. It'd backlash, that's for sure; the media is known for its vicious bite once they manage to catch a prey.

Perhaps that's why Keigo is tangled up between your legs this morning, his hips erratically moving as he shoots one last load before getting ready for work.

—Fuck, baby, you have me shooting blanks!— The dirty blond hollers with a slight grunt, allowing himself to rest next to you.

You purr in content, feeling him cuddle against your naked torso in search of warmth.

—I guess it's true that birds are a very horny kind.— Keigo hears you tease as your hand gently moves away the hair from his sweaty forehead. —Now if only you took the boring part of your job as seriously as this.

—I don't wanna go to that fucking meeting.— The hero pouts, throwing a small fit.

—Can't do that, you have an interview. A deal's a deal, remember?

Yes, pro-hero Hawks doesn't date anyone in public, but he certainly plows his personal assistant in secret.

—Now, now, hop in the shower. I have to pick my suit for today.— You instruct, allowing Keigo a couple more seconds of laziness between the cotton sheets of your bed.

Stretching, Takami curses underneath his breath. He hated public interviews, and even though he was a sucker for the camera lenses, he hated having to leave the comfort of your body to go pose for the fans.

—Can you at least wear the blue one? The one that makes your chest pop out more.— He begs, finally leaving the bed to run the shower. —I like it, it's sexy as hell.

You rise a brow, but indulge into his petition.

—Alright, I guess. Anything else?

The blond's golden eyes scan the way your naked body waltzes from one corner of the room to the other, picking up all the necessary items to dress up.

—Say, is underwear really necessary?— Keigo's lips trail, testing the waters. It was common for him to slip a sly comment like that to gauge a reaction from you. —You know, we could always play a little while working.

And for the very first time, you decide to follow the flow.

—Oh, yeah? What kind of game, hmm? Gonna sneak a hand on my pocket?— Takami hears you say with a ribbing tone, his lips curling into a smirk as you continue. —Or perhaps you want to open that little new gadget I saw you buy a few nights before?

The blond raises his hands, much like a thief caught red-handed.

—Guilty as charged but, it's cheating if you peek at my Amazon account.— He blurts with a lazy side smile.

—Not really, specially not if you leave your account open on my laptop.— You laugh.

—Want to shower together? You know, save the planet, be eco-friendly.— Takami says, inviting you.

—We just had sex, though.

—Doesn't mean I can't grope your butt while I get clean.

…

—So, see this little remote here?— The hero says, shaking a black device between his fingertips. —If I feel like it, it'll vibrate just enough for you to cum.— He whispers into your ear.

You feel your heart beating hard inside your chest, biting your lip for a second as your eyes wandered to the many people in the studio.

—Alright, then I must be quiet while you play, huh? Wouldn't want anyone knowing your out here playing with me.

A grin splashed Keigo's face.

—Exactly! You catch on pretty fast, baby. Just sit nearby where my eyes can see you squirm.— He commands, sending a shiver down your spine.

The interview begins normally. You sit next to the cameras in a chair the staff provided. Keigo eye's you, waving his hand briefly.

—I also want to thank my lovely assistant for making this meeting happen, they work real hard every day!—

A camera lens quickly lands on you. The shocking sensation of the toy was, more or less, expected, but it still made you wriggle once it started. You just nodded your head, not wanting to draw much attention.

As the hero starts answering more questions, his fingers quickly shifted between speeds and patterns, edging your body up and down. He could see the way your hand tried to- unsuccessfully -hide the embarrassment on your face.

—Thank you so much for allowing us to interview you, Hawks! That's all for tonight's show, everyone, wonderful night!

The show wraps up.

Keigo waltzes up to you, helping you stand as your knees weaken. He leans closer for a second, taking a deep breath of your perfume.

—You smell so sweet… I wanna push my cock inside you again.— He mutters, earning a needy whimper from you.

—Please, just - take this off, I can't hold it any longer.— Takami hears you whine.

—Walk with me for a second, there must be a bathroom nearby.

Finding a private spot, Keigo leans your body against a wall and allows his hand to cross the limits of your clothing.

—Fuck, look at this, you are a mess.

In a swift movement, he lowered your pants enough to have access to your hole. He rubbed his clothed election against you, making you hiss.

—Say you want it.

—Please, please give it to me. Keigo, I need to cum...— You cry, feeling the toy still going on. —I feel like I'm going crazy, just put - fuck- put it in.

Plunging two fingers inside your drooly mouth and unbuckling his pants with the other, you feel his cock slowly pushing into you.

—Oh my fucking God.— The blond hissed, feeling you clamp around him as your climax was just next door. —You're so tight, Jesus Christ!

His pace is fast, messy, trying to give you as much as he can as quickly as possible. Besides the very slight buzz the toy produced, only his grunts and your heavy breathing could be heard.

—Want me to cum inside you? Just look at you, you're practically swallowing my cock effortlessly.

You roll your eyes behind your back as his free hand grabs your throat. The numbing sensation of your climax soon reaches you, milking the hero on the process.

Keigo likes this part of the job a bit more now.

Like my content? Comment and follow! The feedback encourages me.

[whereisten]

Valentine Boy

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 (Final)

Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama &lt;3

Summary:

You've been dating College Student! Jaehyun for a few months now. He's unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you've ever had. He's the love of your life and you can't see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly.that is….until you discover his biggest secret. He's been hiding the fact that he's a camboy and you start to wonder..ls Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?

Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Chapter Word Count: 13.5K

Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), brief sexual assault mention (nothing detailed), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, minor character death, descriptive smut (fingering, dirty talk, BDSM themes (toy usage, spanking), oral sex (m receiving), threesome, some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, anal sex, breast fondling).

(A/N): HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!💗💗 Jfc I cannot believe this took 3 years 😵‍💫 please PLEASEEEE forgive me for completely abandoning this as well as other fics, things happen and I couldn’t find any motivation to write for a while. It’s slowly starting to come back, so you’ll notice my writing style is rusty, please be patient with me❤️Anyway, I’ve introduced a new character *hint hint* his name starts with T hehe! Thank you guys so much for reading this series!! I really want to know if you love Cam Boy! Jaehyun or can’t stand him after this finale. So please comment or send an ask! I hope you enjoy! low key, I’m relieved but I’m also kinda sad, anytime I finish a series it’s really like closing a book and leaving the characters behind, it’s weird.. nonetheless!! ENJOY!

Tag List (if you’re still here, I’d be VERY impressed😭): @teddybella @nakayutasama @nainjun @moonflower-98 @cherrym4rk @hwangjinkkami @jeongyoonohs @starlightdustspots @80sjaeden-blog @poisonedsultana @breadjaehyunie @lilaewe @hash-brownsss @lazydepkkst @greatbakerypaperoperator @mymy127 @tiramisubox @cactus-rocks @justineasian @nakamotonikkoru @joyfulghosteagletree @nainjun @bluehippoo @suhtements @lonely-moon-in-the-sky @ratchet-sebooty @mrshatakekakashi-blog @painted-hills @haylo4ever @celestiababie @ubbesson @tinybangtanstan @oddeyecirca @hongtyong @johnnysmybabydaddy @yesitsmeavi @polarlight-b @chanyeolscoon @ncteaxhoe @suhweo @jiyoungiejae @suhfluffy @the-universe-in-you-jjh @yutyongie @isolemnlyswearimgood @staywritten @hnvbin @jhhooppppeeee @yunohflwr @gotoartistprofile @shiningstarsarah @glitterfall @minsik-k @yoooori @26zcl @ahtisa02 @wonw00t

-----------

[2:30 PM]

“Miss y/n, I understand that you believe you’re innocent in this situation, but the fact of the matter is that these scandalous photos WERE taken with your permission. You voluntarily posed for these photos”

The Dean flips the posters over on his desk so that he doesn’t have to look at them anymore. You appreciated it, but really, you wished she’d be more sympathetic.

“Y-yes, but not with the belief that they’d ever leave my boyfriend's computer..I’m sorry, I don’t know who is trying to blackmail me, but I’d really appreciate it if campus police could do an investigation. I think my boyfriend was hacked.”

You say quietly, unsure of whether or not you even believed that.

“Of course, miss Y/n, this will be done and the perpetrator may be convicted of sexual assault, should there be enough evidence and should you wish to press charges, but right now, our main concern is maintaining our campus peace and the respectful treatment of others that we pride ourselves in having.”

You nod.

“That being said…” she sighs.

“Myself, as well as your professors, have decided to forbid you from entering the campus.”

Your mouth falls open as your eyes widen. “Wha-“

“It’ll only be for the remainder of the semester. You can join us again in the Fall, but in the meantime, you must finish your classes online at home.”

Your eyes start to fill with tears.

“But it isn’t my fault, I-I don’t understand.”

“Things have to calm down right now, you’ll also be at risk for even more harassment if you stay.” She stands and fixes her blazer, signaling that the conversation was over.

You nod and stand up. She was right. You were in a vulnerable state right now. People that hadn’t known you before now knew what your body looked like without your consent. They’d have perceptions about you, they’d look at you scornfully or maybe even make advances. 

“Thank you for your time.” You hold your head down and leave the office.

————

Back in your apartment, Bella and Jackson talk about how they ran Jaehyun away. He came to look for you, but they told him they’d have him arrested for trespassing.

“He and the fucking bitch Reina deserve to suffer! I swear to God I will ruin them!” Bella stomps through the apartment.

You hold your face in your hands and sob while thinking about what your life has turned into. You couldn’t show your face on campus now and it’s all because you decided to trust Jaehyun.

“I know what I’ll do, I’ll hack into their account and fucking delete it, how dare they make money after this!”

Bella continues. “They’ll have to start all over.”

“Bella..please..that won’t do anything right now.” You cry even harder. You knew she cared for you and hated seeing you like this, but her getting revenge really didn’t make you happier.

Bella stops in her tracks, rushing to sit beside you and hold your back.

“I’m..sorry, I’m so wounded up, I didn’t even remember that your health is a priority right now. You don’t deserve this and you didn’t do anything wrong, people are just assholes. Have you eaten?”

You shake your head.

“I’ll grab something for you, okay? Stay right here, I’ll be right back!”

While waiting, you hesitantly unlock your phone to check your notifications.

You had nearly 100 missed calls and texts from Jaehyun. You ignore them and block him. You aren’t sure what to think at this point, and it’s not like Jaehyun hasn’t deceived you before. You refuse to be taken for a fool any longer.

You open up the college social media app, CamPak, an app that allows only students on campus to connect with each other anonymously. It’s like Twitter, but for college students whose IP addresses fit the location of the college. You know you probably shouldn’t, but curiosity eats away at you in the silence of your apartment now.

You sigh and scroll through the posts.

Did anyone see those posters this morning? Is this a new nsfw club kkkkk sign me up

She’s hot!! Put the flyers back up

Poor girl must be so embarrassed

Why? She’s the one that posted them obvi, she wants attention

Nah that’s revenge porn

I’d show her a good time

Whoever posted these is a HOE

We don’t need to see this..let it stay on OnlyCams girl

The posts could’ve been worse, you think to yourself and put your phone down. You still feel embarrassed and know you need to be away from it all.

———

[Two Days Later]

“Hey, mom” you drop your duffel bag to the floor and pull your mom into the biggest hug.

“Oh! You’re home early, I thought you had about another month or so?”

You sob quietly, but not because you’re sad, but because it felt good to have someone hold you so lovingly. You’re relieved to be away from it all, and although it sucks having to switch to online classes so late, you prefer working from your home with only your mom around you.

“Yeah..well, I decided to leave early and finish up my classes from home.”

She pulls away to look at you, a frown coming across her face when she sees your swollen, red eyes.

“Wait, what’s wrong?”

You hesitate to tell her the truth, how could you explain that you were the one that allowed the photos to be taken in the first place? The last thing you needed was for her to scold you for not protecting yourself.

“Nothing…it’s just been a difficult semester, I’m glad to be home now.” You give her a small smile.

“If something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?” Her eyes plead for an answer.

You nod. “Of course.”

You don’t need to relive your embarrassment by showing her the pictures and explaining everything, it’s all going to be okay now.

———

[Two Weeks Later]

You focus on your studies and get your work done online as expected. Bella tells you that students stopped talking about what happened a few days after you left. Luckily, social media and preparation for exams kept them busy enough to forget about it.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you finally feel like things are going back to normal, slowly, but surely. 

However, you still cry yourself to sleep on some nights. You miss Jaehyun and wonder what you did to deserve this treatment from him. All you did was love him with your entire heart. He took that for granted by risking your privacy and pulling you into a game you had no understanding of.

You never think of texting as this distance is necessary, but you didn’t know that he was keeping in contact with your mother. 

She loves him so much, thinking that he is incredibly charming and thereby, perfect for you. She thinks of him as her son already. So when he shows up to her house one day, she doesn’t hesitate to let him in.

“Honey!” She calls out to you as you wrap up a final paper while sitting at your desk in your room.

“Yes! I’m almost done.”

She still opens the door and peaks her head in.

“Jaehyun’s here. He says he couldn’t get you on your phone, so I told him you’ve been studying h-“

“What?!” You turn to look at her with wide eyes, your fingers begin to tremble over the keys of your laptop.

A week later, you’re finally starting to heal, and here he comes to ruin it all, to remind you of everything that went wrong.

Your mom’s brows furrow. “What’s wrong? Did you guys have a fight?”

“No..no, it’s fine.” You know how much Jaehyun means to her, but now is not the time to explain everything that’s happened. 

“Oh..ok. I’ll tell him to come up then.”

You fix your hair and put on lip balm to look somewhat decent while wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.

It doesn’t matter what you look like, but you don’t want him thinking your life has fallen apart completely.

He knocks and waits for you to answer.

“Y/n..”

You clear your throat. “Come in.” 

He pushes the door, stepping in quietly.

He wears a black hoodie over sweatpants too, but his hair is disheveled. He has a faint mustache and beard under his dark eye bags. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“What are you doing here?” You find it hard to look into his tired eyes so you look to the floor.

He closes the door behind him and steps towards you quickly, raising his hand to caress your face.

“Y/n..I’m so sorry, please forgive me..I-“

You step back away from him, bumping into your desk before gripping the edge hard. You feel the blood start to leave your knuckles.

“Get out..I don’t want to see you..” your eyes start to fill with tears as you speak weakly.

“Y/n..baby, it wasn’t me, and I swear to you I will get Reina back for this. She’s ruined you, she’s ruined us.”

“Us?” Your eyes flicker up to him.

“Stop acting like this is as difficult for you as it is for me, you’re not the one whose nudes were plastered all over campus and parts of the internet without consent. If you really cared about me, you would’ve done something already.”

Jaehyun’s hand goes to his side as his face falls. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I was a fool..please let me make this right.”

He leans in again, and you flinch as if scared of him for some reason.

He stares in confusion. You don’t want him to touch you anymore.

“Jaehyun…you can make this right by leaving. Don’t contact me or my mom again..” you start to cry and turn your back to him.

“It wasn’t me, I was hacked, you have to believe me!” He starts to cry as well. “I’d never do this to you.”

But the fact of the matter is he already did. He betrayed you by getting this job with Reina in the first place.

”You’re pathetic for trying to claim innocence right now. You know what’s funny, Jaehyun? I would’ve never known of Reina had it not been for you..”

He swallows hard and steps back.

You turn to face him. “If you hadn’t lied..if you hadn’t been greedy..If you weren’t the coward that you are.”

You’re almost unrecognizable as Jaehyun sees the rage in your eyes.

”Get. out.” You say firmly with tears streaming down steadily.

Whether or not Jaehyun released the pictures and posted them online, he was still the one that took them, he had possession. It would be hard to prove his innocence, not only to you, but to the world as well.

He knows this, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to love you again.

He turns to leave, but stops at the door. “I don’t blame you for being upset with me..but I will always love you, regardless of what happens.”

You exhale before falling onto your bed and wrapping yourself in your blankets. Your heart still aches for him, it hurts to be so cruel.

———

[Later That Day]

A plastered drunk Jaehyun slams the counter at the bar.

“Another shot!”

“Ooo..don’t you think you should slow down a bit?”

Reina sneaks up behind him while rubbing his back.

“Fuck..” he puts his head in his hands. She’s the last person he wants to see.

“You’re always so happy to see me, makes me feel loved.” She says sarcastically while sitting on the stool next to him.

“You’re..such a bitch..” he slurs out.

“But you love it, don’t you?” She pouts and places her fingers on his chin to tilt his face towards her. “If it makes you feel better, I do like the scruffy look.”

He pushes her hand away and stands up, he drunkenly stumbles through the crowd to get away from her, but she wraps an arm around his waist and helps him to the back. She pushes him against a wall and leans in close.

“Come on, Valentine Boy, it’s just you and me now, we can do whatever we want. We can make so much money again, what do you say?”

Jaehyun chuckles. “Reina..even enhancement pills won’t get me hard for you again.”

 He was done with her and completely disgusted after all she’d done to hurt you.

Reina’s fall smiles. “You don’t mean that..”

She tries to kiss him, but even in his drunken state, he’s able to push her way.

“Get off of me!”

She still doesn’t stop. “Look at me, Jaehyun, don’t I remind you of her? Treat me like you would treat her if she comes crawling back. You’d love to make love to her, wouldn’t you?”

She kisses his neck while holding his face in her hand. And for a brief moment, Jaehyun does imagine it’s you kissing him. Then, he has flashbacks of your heartbroken and angry face watching him leave. He’d never forget it, because it had been burned into his heart.

“You’re not her! You’ll never be her!” He brushes her off again, but in a fit of rage at his declination, Reina throws herself to the floor to make it seem as though he pushed her.

A ruckus is caused as men storm over to Jaehyun. “What the hell was that?!” They push him into the wall before he can explain.

“He hurt me!” Reina pretends to cry.

Jaehyun said no to her again, and this was unforgivable. She made her feel pain, so it’s only right that she does the same.

“Is he bothering you?” One of the men asks.

“Yes.” She sobs and stands up slowly.

The men take turns kicking Jaehyun down on the ground, making him spit up blood and groan. They pick him up and throw him outside of the bar and onto the street.

Eyes black and blue, stomach filled with bruises, and arms sore, but Jaehyun was convinced that he still didn’t feel as bad as you did. If this was his way to receive pain for what he did, then he’d gladly take it.

Reina hasn’t given up on him just yet, so she devises a plan. She bends over Jaehyun and chuckles. “You should’ve just said yes, Valentine Boy.”

She takes his phone out of his pocket and looks for your number. When she finds it, she puts it into her phone and heads home, leaving Jaehyun to groan in pain and roll around on the dirty pavement.

She calls you up and to her surprise, you actually answer.

You aren’t sure if it’s a professor trying to reach you about one of your finals so you answer just in case.

“Y/n..it’s me, Reina..I’m so sorry.”

You roll your eyes. “I should choke you for what you did.”

“I know..it seems like I’m the one that did this..” Reina starts to cry and sniffles over the line. “But it’s not true..I want to explain everything, I want to help you.”

And for some reason, you listen to her, you trust her. Jaehyun had proven he’s a liar before, but you wanted to hear Reina’s side of the story. So you listened and decided for yourself what you needed to do.

—————

[Three Days Later]

Your thumb hovers over the [send text] button on your phone. Did you really want this? Were you ready?

You take a deep breath and hit send.

You to Jaehyun: let’s meet

You put your phone face down on your desk right away and look to the floor, but just a few seconds later you hear a notification.

Jaehyun to You: yes, I can pick you up now if you’d like

You to Jaehyun: ok

You finally style your hair and put makeup on. You hadn’t felt like yourself since everything happened. You felt ashamed for some reason and a part of you felt that you didn’t deserve to feel pretty. All that changes tonight, however, you’re going to get your life back.

Within an hour Jaehyun arrives at your mom’s place to pick you up.

His eyes grow large at the sight of you in a flowy dress that compliments your body so well.

He hurriedly opens the passenger door and smiles.

“You look amazing.”

“Thanks..you look..better.” You give a small smile and sit inside his car. He cut his hair and shaved his beard and mustache. His eyes still look tired though. 

You look at the side of his face and observe all the features you missed. The way his slender neck looks in white crew neck shirts and how his sturdy pecs often peaked through if the collar was stretched. His arms looked toned, his veiny hands gripped the wheel hard. It all reminded you of the many nights you spent together with him pinning you down and making the best love to you.

Is this all that you missed him for though? Is it just lust, is it truly love? You question everything as you sit next to the man you once swore you would grow old with.

The air is tense during the drive to his place, neither of you want to be the first to say what’s on your mind.

“Are you…almost finished with your exams?”

Jaehyun breaks the silence.

“Y-yeah..I have one more. You?”

“I’m done, had my last one this morning.”

He nods and focuses on the road.

“That’s good” you look outside the window.

More time passes between you, creating an awkward space that you just have to break.

“I…forgive you, Jaehyun.”

He hits the brake a little too hard, causing the car to jerk you both forward in your seats. He turns to you now that you’re parked right outside his apartment.

“I-I’m so sorry, y/n…thank you, I promise to make it up to you and find those assholes. I was hacked and the techs at the library were able to wipe my hard drive so it never happens again.”

Did he wipe it to hide something or did he really get hacked? You thought to yourself.

You nod, desperately trying to hide your skepticism.

He leans in close, caressing the side of your face like you’re a precious jewel. “I love you..so much, you mean the world to me..and I’m sorry this happened to you.”

You place your hand over his, keeping his stare, but finding it hard to feel the love for him that you once felt in your heart.

“I know…let’s put it behind us..I just..want to spend time with you.” You start to tear up. You wish things to go back to how they used to be, but deep down you know that isn’t possible. He’s broken your trust more than once now, and you’re finding it hard to put the pieces back together.

Jaehyun, however, is ready for a third chance, his heart racing at the thought of you being his again. He’s going to do everything in his power to keep you this time.

“You mean everything to me.” His eyes fill with tears and it breaks your heart. You can’t help but feel sad when you see him like this. Despite all he’s put you through, it still hurt.

“I know..don’t cry, I’m right here..I’ll always be here.” You wipe his tears away before kissing him.

Your lips stay together for a few seconds before you pull away.

“Come on..let’s go inside.” You tilt your head towards his door.

As soon as you get inside, you resume your kiss while peeling your clothes off of each other, but stop when you feel movement around your ankles.

You pull away from Jaehyun’s lips and look down. “Wh-what’s that?”

“Oh!” He chuckles and bends down to pick up the gorgeous white and brown dog with huge ears. “This is Dora, I got her for you..for us, before everything went down..”He says softly as Dora sniffs your face.

You take her from him, your eyes welling with tears in the process.

“She’s..so precious, Jay.”

His eyes follow your soft face and he thinks of how much he missed you and hearing you call him that.

Your heart kept breaking that night, an overwhelming amount of emotions flowed through you. 

Why is he doing this to you? Why is he making you fall in love with him all over again?

You sniffle and place her back down.

“She’s perfect…thank you.”

You take his face in your hands and resume kissing him.

He drags the zipper of your dress down with one hand behind you, then overtakes your tongue with his, gaining a quiet moan from your body. 

The way he did things with such skill always turned you on.

Your dress falls to the floor, bunching up around your feet. You step out of it and bump into his kitchen counter while your lips are still attached.

When you open your eyes to unbutton his jeans you see bruises all along his midsection.

“Jay…what-what happened to you?” You pant.

“Oh..it’s nothing.” He tries to go back to kissing you, but you pull away.

“No..it definitely looks like something to me. No more secrets.” You look into his eyes.

“I-it’s stupid, I don’t want to talk about it right now..”

“Well..I do.”

Jaehyun sighs and looks to the ceiling. “Reina tried to get back with me and I told her no…she got a couple guys to beat me up.”

Your mouth falls. “What? Why would she—“

“Because she’s delusional..now kiss me before I go crazy.”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow. “Why should I kiss a guy that can’t win a fight?”

He sticks his tongue in his cheek and chuckles while stepping back. “Touché”

“I’m just joking, come here..”

“Nah..I’m good.” He walks to his room.

You run after him. “Okay I’m sorry, let’s forget about-“

He turns around and grabs you by the waist, swiftly bringing you onto his bed.

He kisses you harshly, biting your lip. He shows off his multitasking skills once again by taking your bra off for you as you hover over him.

Once off, he lets your lips go and smiles. His dimples and soft crescent-shaped eyes make your heart weak. He holds your arms while nuzzling his face into your neck. You giggle at how ticklish it feels.

He then flips you over onto your back and looks into your eyes.

You feel goofy as you smile up at him.

“I missed you so much, baby” he whispers while searching your eyes.

“I missed you too..”

“Oh yeah?” He raises an eyebrow.

You nod and bring your bottom lip between your teeth.

He leans back on his knees and licks his lips.

“Did you touch yourself when you missed me?”

You nod again.

“Sweetheart, let me hear your pretty voice..” he says lowly.

Your chest rises and falls rapidly as he looks down at you with lustful eyes.

“Yes..I did.”

“Naughty girl, you know your fingers can’t replace me, right?” His eyes fall from your exposed chest to the waistband of your panties.

“I know..but they still feel good.”

“Hmm, show me.” He demands.

You take your panties off and throw them to the side, then begin to finger yourself with Jaehyun watching intently.

He brings his jeans and underwear to the middle of his thigh before cupping a fist around his hard member.

You watch him move it up and down slowly and at the same tempo at which you tease your entrance to build your own arousal.

When you put two fingers in you moan and throw your head back.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck..you’re so wet already”

“Only for you, Jay..” you whimper and close your eyes tightly while thinking about the times when Jaehyun had you reeling from his thrusts.

He nearly cums from hearing your breathy words.

You move your fingers in and out of your silky walls, pushing in deeper and deeper. You find that fleshy spot and massage the tips of your fingers against it, just barely applying pressure.

Jaehyun pumps his cock up and down as well, nearly drooling from the sight of your essence-covered fingers entering you over and over.

“Fuck..I’m gonna fun, baby.” You move your fingers faster, but Jaehyun quickly grabs your wrist, placing your dripping fingers into his mouth to suck them clean.

“So good..you taste so good..”

He kisses your neck while aligning his cock with you. Your hands massage his back as you call out his name. 

“Jay..it’s been so long baby, I need you.”

He teases you for a bit, running the tip just along the slit.

“I know..” he groans into your neck and finally pushes into you all the way. You gasp, your nails dig into his back.

No matter how much you prepped yourself for him, he always felt big. 

He thrusts into you slowly, ensuring that you feel every vein while adjusting to him.

You mewl as your head spins. It feels so good to have him on you after all this time. For a moment, you forget about everything that's happened.

“Ahhh pretty baby, God you’re so tight.”

He kisses your neck and thrusts harder.

“All for me, right? I just have to stuff you well. You can handle it, right?”

You moan. “Yes! Harder, please!”

And Jaehyun listens, pounding you into the bed over and over to hear your scream louder. 

He places both legs over his shoulders, grasping your ankles as he fits himself into your body at a different angle.

Your mouth falls open as you call out his name again.

It doesn’t take long for you to quiver around him, cumming hard while your eyes roll to the back of your head. He moves a few more times then cums too, coating your walls with so much, you’re sure that some will leak out.

“Better than your fingers.” He smirks and falls down onto the bed beside you.

You chuckle and lay on his chest.

“I think I need another shower.”

———

[One Week Later]

For Jaehyun, everything went back to normal. You love him and he loves you, you both take care of your darling Dora together. You go on dates and talk about life  as you always do. You make love and spend time cuddling together whenever you’re at his place.

For you, however, it feels different. Jaehyun was the love of your life, but he kept hurting you and you felt the scars on your heart hesitating to heal. You try your best to smile and act as if you don’t suspect him. Your brain tells you everything is okay, but your heart is saying something else.

In the end, would this hurt you or him more?

“Hey. What do you think of this one?” Jaehyun breaks you out of your thoughts as you stare across the vast land of the vineyard.

You’re on a vineyard tour together and get the pleasure of trying different wines.

He hands you a small cup to take a drink out of.

You drink it and close your eyes for dramatic effect. “Oooo..” you exhale. “Nice.”

Jaehyun smiles widely. “I like that one too. Come on, let's grab a bottle.”

“Whoa whoa there, we just started the tour..” you laugh. “What if there are others we like?”

He steps closer to you, gazing down into your wide eyes. “I’ll buy every single one you like.”

You look away and scoff. “You’re so cheesy.”

He chuckles before taking your hand in his and kissing it.  “Only for you.”

The day goes by and you finally get to Jaehyun’s place.

You make out by his front door as you say goodbye.

“You sure you don’t wanna stay over?” He says in between kisses. He rubs his hand along your back.

“I’d love to..trust me, but I have something to take care of.”

You smile back.

“Oh..ok, do you need me to drive you?”

“No, I got it!” You say quickly while stepping back.

“Oh. Well, I’ll see you later then.” He smile before waving you off. “Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay!” You yell over your shoulder then walk swiftly out of his sight.

Jaehyun felt something was off about the way you said bye just now, but he shrugs his shoulders and heads inside to Dora.

“Just me and you now, girl.” He bends down and kisses the top of her head.

Meanwhile, once far away, you look back to make sure Jaehyun’s door is shut and he is inside. You then call an Uber.

The Uber drops you off at a place you never thought you’d be at again.

Reina’s apartment.

——————

[One Week Later]

You and Jaehyun have dinner and a Netflix movie date. The food was fantastic and you truly enjoyed your time with Jaehyun. It was romantic and reminded you of the old days.

 Something about him at night with his sharp facial features illuminated by candle lights made him irresistible.

Your dress suddenly felt tighter as he gazed into your eyes while holding your hand.

“Should we go now?” He asks smoothly as if hearing your thoughts about how badly you wished he’d rail you across the table right then and there.

“Sure.”

While on your way to his place, you receive a text.

You’re coming over tonight, right?

A big bidder messaged me saying he’ll be there

Remember you get half

You quickly closed your phone screen and looked out the window.

“Everything okay?”

Jaehyun squeezes your thigh gently.

You turn to him. “Yeah..yeah definitely. It’s just…”

His brows raise. “Just what?”

You frown. “I have to take care of something again tonight.”

“Oh! Are you sure? Is it something I can help you with?” His hand grips the wheel as he speaks huskily. He was slowly starting to get  tired of you leaving him alone at nights. Something felt off again and he wasn’t sure why.

You sigh. “Unfortunately, no, I have to go in about 30 minutes.”

“Oh…damn.” He exhales.

You sit in silence for about two minutes as he drives home, then he pulls over on the side of the road.

“Something wrong with the car? What are you doing?” Are you nervous about him suddenly stopping? Does he know?

Jaehyun puts the car in park then turns to you. “You said 30 minutes, right?”

You nod as you stare at him with wide eyes.

“Okay..we have time..I’ve been thinking about you in that dress all night.”

He runs a hand through his hair then licks his lips.

He leans in for a kiss and you kiss him back fervently, he kisses you like he’ll never get a chance to again, tugging your bottom lip before licking over it. He turns his head to get more and you give him just what he is asking. His hands hold the sides of your face still as you fall into him more and more, but then, you remember the texts and pull away after a few seconds.

“God..you’re so good…but I really can’t..” you say breathily.

Jaehyun’s brows bunch together. “W-why?”

You look at his lips. “I really want to…I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“But baby, we have like 25 minutes at least let me taste you..”

You shake your head. “I’m sorry, I’m just not in the mood tonight.”

You lied to him, but it was the only way to get him to start driving again.

You hadn’t had sex in 2 weeks, you wanted to, but it didn’t feel right.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head again while looking to the floor. You couldn’t look him in the eyes as your heart beat out of your chest.

“No..no, it’s not you, it’s me..I just need you to be patient with me, okay?”

“Oh, of course! I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun nods and puts the car back in drive, feeling like a huge jerk for making your discomfort about him.

As you’d done a week prior, you wait for Jaehyun to get inside then call an Uber.

You head inside Reina’s apartment and get ready for your second love video with her and Taeyong, her new male counterpart.

“Are you going to be able to do it this time?” She asks as you place your bag down on the couch. You look onto the intimidating setup with lights and a tripod before swallowing hard.

“She doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to..although it would be nice, I’m sure she tastes amazing.” Taeyong leaves the kitchen and heads towards you.

“I’m ready.” You look into his eyes. You couldn’t put up with this game of playing with Jaehyun’s heart for much longer. You were slowly starting to fall in love with him all over again, only hurting yourself in the process.  You knew how this would work out.

If it hurt you to do this to him, why didn’t it hurt him when he had done the same for months? Did he truly care about you?

“Great.” Reina smiles before handing you a baby pink lingerie set complete with a leather collar to put on. 

You freshen up in the bathroom and put the lingerie on. You look amazing, but you wished you felt the same way. It’s hard to be cruel, especially to someone you once loved.

You step out and hear ooo’s and aaa’s by both Reina and Taeyong.

“Thank you..” you smile slightly.

Having your pictures being shared all over,  being labeled as a slut awakened something inside of you. Was it so bad to have people list after your body? Well, not really. But you should at least get paid for it, right? At this point, you didn’t have anything to lose, but you’d get the opportunity to enact revenge on Jaehyun. That was your true goal.

“Now..let’s have some fun.” 

Reina places the final touches on your lipstick and looks into your eyes. “You look beautiful, y/n. I know it’s your first time, and I know you’re nervous, but it will be okay, just follow my lead.”

You lay down on the bed and stare at the camera as she turns it on.

Comments flood the screen of the laptop behind it almost immediately. So many people were waiting for her, and in your novice mind, you still couldn’t compute just how big this online community is.

How could Jaehyun hide this from you for so long?

Taeyong wore pink shorts to match your set and a collar as well. He crawled onto the bed beside you before getting on his knees and leaning down.

“Baby girl..look at me..” the tattooed boy says smoothly. He uses two fingers to tilt your chin towards him. He smiles softly before placing his thumb on it and kissing your lips.

You had met him once before this to take your tests at the clinic together. Everything came back negative for all 3 of you, relieving you of any concerns regarding that. Nonetheless, he seemed to be a sweet guy and his looks were just as striking as Jaehyun’s. 

His sharp jawline provided a wildly stark contrast to his large brown eyes. Reina described him as the perfect partner, and even thanked Jaehyun for leaving her as Taeyong was more “flexible,” and not just in terms of working hours.

He’d take any position she asked him to.

But when preparing for tonight, you asked that they both be in charge. You’d be the one to listen and follow their instructions.

Taeyong maneuvered his lips in a way that made you dizzy. Jaehyun was a great kisser, but Taeyong wrote the guidebook. His tongue overtaking yours as his bottom lip caressed yours. You moaned quietly, raising a hand to grasp his arm and pull him closer. He smelled and felt amazing as he bent over your body.

For a moment, you forgot about everything, you didn’t think about Jaehyun or even remember the blinking red light of the camera. All you felt was Taeyong, but then Reina places her phone down and gets onto the bed beside you. She kisses your neck, leaving her rouge and warmness all over it.

She kisses along your shoulder, sucking hard and biting into the skin slightly. You whimper at the sudden harshness of her teeth against you.

She then kissed lower and lower until getting to your bra. She pulls the cup covering your hard nipples down and begins to suck the nub. Taeyong releases your lips and kneels back away from you.

“Mhmm..just as sweet as I imagined.”

He smirks while rubbing his thumb along your lips, dipping it in and out slowly as you hollow your cheeks and suck.

They way he looks down at you with swollen red lips and they way Reina flicks her tongue against your sensitive breast makes your toes curl.

You watch him palms his hard member through his boxers, noting how a wet mark appears where his precum has already leaked. Turns out he’s just as turned on as you are.

“Do you want it?” Reina pulls away to ask.

You nod, completely unashamed of how desperate you seemed.

She chuckles. “You have to work for it first.”

Meanwhile, Jaehyun gets a text on his phone after getting home from his walk with Dora. His eyes widened.

He immediately tries to call you, but you don’t answer. He doesn’t stop, dialing you over and over hopes that you pick up. Little does he know that all parts of you are currently occupied by Reina and Taeyong.

Your phone lights up on the kitchen counter from his notifications while you take Taeyong’s cock into your mouth.

Your fingers find Reina’s dripping flower as she continues to suck your nipples.

Taeyong grabs the leash attached to your collar and tugs it slightly to choke you.

“Such a good girl..taking me all in like that.”

You involuntarily moan, sending vibrations onto him. He groans and curses as he moves his hips to drive himself deeper and deeper into your throat.

Reina dips her fingers into your thong and begins flicking the tips against your clit.

You begin to choke as you have trouble breathing while Taeyong destroys your throat. The feeling is raw, but you’re so wet by being like this for them, you don’t mind it.

You feel dizzy and drool drips down your chin.

Taeyong is turned on by the sight below him, his movement stutters as he pulls out and pants. You look up with wide eyes while breathing heavily. Something about him was hypnotizing. You lay your tongue out as he unloads onto it, feeling yourself clench around nothing as you cum as well.

Jaehyun stares at his screen after hearing your voicemail come up for the 10th time. It was vital that he get through to you now. What could’ve been so important that you wouldn’t answer him?

He then sees a notification pop up at the top of it.

“watch Rein on Me Live right now! First 2 minutes FREE” 

“Rein on Me” is Reina’s username.

His breath hitches in his throat. Why does he still have her notifications set to “on”?” He thinks to himself and turns the screen off. 

He sits down on the couch and puts his elbows on his knees while thinking about where you could possibly be right now.

And then, curiosity gets the best of him. He picks the phone up, clicking the link while holding his breath.

Why is his heart racing? Is he curious to see if she’s gotten another partner for her videos? He’s not sure why, but what he sees shocks him, breaking his heart instantly.

You are on your knees with your ass up, having your collar pulled by Reina who is below you.

Taeyong pushes into you while you choke on Reina’s strapped on cock.

Taeyong grabs your ass, slamming into you so hard, feeling tears escape the corner of your eyes. 

“Oh look..she’s crying, Tae. I think you should give her something to cry harder about.”

You put a hand up behind you and onto his abs, pushing him away slightly, begging him to be softer on you.

But he chuckles then slams into you again while placing two fingers into your clit and rubbing circles onto it.

“Oh? Is this too much for you?”

They did give you a safe word for when it all came to be too much, but you wouldn’t dare say it now. Although you were being stuffed on both ends and had trouble breathing as a result, Taeyong felt amazing in between your velvet walls and his loud groans and whimpers told you he felt the same.

You shake your head.

“Good, because you’re gripping my cock like you love this. Isn’t that right? Our girl is a slut, Reina, look at her drooling again.”

The chat room is filled with praises and donations. The viewers loved seeing you like this and hearing the dirty talk between the two. Some wanted to be you, and some wanted to fuck you.

Jaehyun’s eyes grow, his focus shifts from the video and to the comments requesting even lewder acts from the 3 of you. How could this happen? How could you betray him like this? Either way, he has to stop this now.

He puts his phone in his pocket and heads out.

He drives angrily, finding it hard to see the road through his teary eyes. He was so angry he could feel the heat escaping his nostrils as he gripped the steering wheel hard.

Meanwhile, it was Reina’s turn to fuck you with her strap.

She lays on the bed on her back, facing the camera upside down. She rubs her soft hands along your thighs as you mount her.

“Ride me well, or we’ll spank you until you can’t sit on your ass for weeks.”

“Yes..” you lower your aching pussy onto the dual ended strap and begin moving.

Reina whimpers as her side of the dildo enters her with each time you go down.

“That’s it, baby, don’t stop.” Taeyong says breathily in your ear while unhooking your bra. 

“Fuck.” He kneels behind you, bringing your hand to cup his hard cock.

He kisses your neck as he pinches your nipples to hear you cry out his name.

Reina rubs your clit with her thumb making you gasp and swivel your hips faster to gain another high. Taeyong then tilts your head towards him and kisses you deeply. He grips your throat, squeezing slightly as his tongue explores your mouth.

He begins to leak all over your hand, but you don’t stop pumping him. You close your eyes and ride Reina even faster, enjoying Taeyong’s passionate kiss as you imagine it to be him you were on top of.

He pulls away, allowing a string of spit to connect your two mouths.

He licks it up then looks into your eyes with a lustful stare. “She’s close, be a good girl and make her cum.”

You nod then lower yourself onto Reina, pulling her bra down to reveal her incredibly perfect breasts. You lick and suck her nipples while fingering her clit.

Taeyong licks his lips at the sight of your dripping opening gliding up and down on the dildo with ease. He pumps his cock and aligns it with your ass while your focus remains on coaxing a well deserved orgasm out of Reina.

He enters you unexpectedly, forcing just half of himself into you before you let out a high pitched scream.

“Oh my god!” You grip the sheets on either side of Reina’s head while your legs tremble at the feeling of being stretched out.

“Ahh kitten, so tight..fuck.” He grabs your waist, digging his fingertips into it to leave what may be a permanent indentation.

He pushes himself all the way in, making you cry again.

You rub your own fingers into Reina faster, making her cum hard. Her eyes roll to the back of your head as she pulls on your leash.

“You’re so pretty like this, isn’t she Tae?”

Reina moans out. “Yes..the prettiest kitten.” He struggles to get out while watching himself enter your tight opening once more.

Reina moves from under you, pulling the strap out of both her and you.

She takes the end that was inside you and puts it in front of your face. “Open, and taste yourself.” She demands.

You open your mouth, sucking it off while looking into her eyes.

You whimper as Taeyong goes so deep inside you, you feel you might go crazy and truly won’t be able to walk for another week. It’s a miracle how he's able to be so big.

“Come on, baby, tell me how good it feels to have me fill you up like this.”

“Feels..so good..” you can’t hold your body up anymore, you fall into the bed as he pounds into you.

More and more payments flood the notification on the laptop screen. Taeyong pushes into you faster while grabbing your leash, and you’re both about to cum again when you hear the front door fly open.

Your eyes open in confusion as you look up at Reina.

She looks confused too. She quickly pauses the broadcast and right after the bedroom door flies open.

“Get the fuck off of her!” Jaehyun stomps towards Taeyong, laying a fist into his face so fast, all 3 of you fail to comprehend exactly what’s happened.

Taeyong falls into the bed as Reina rushes over.

“Jaehyun!” You yell, jumping off of the bed and grabbing the sheets to cover your body.

There goes your dazed feeling.

“What the FUCK is going on here? Reina, what the hell did you do? How could you get her involved in something like this?!” Jaehyun is so angry, his hands create fists at his sides as he glares at Reina. She doesn’t pay attention to him, however, trying to see just how bad his punch was towards Taeyong.

You calm your nerves and finally tell Jaehyun the truth.

“It was my idea, Jaehyun..I want to do this…to get back at you.” 

He turns to you with a confused look in his eyes. You don’t turn away from his stare this time, you look into his eyes and remain strong. You thought of all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, of all the times you felt like you weren’t good enough for him.

You thought of his betrayal and the acts it left you.

“W-what?”

You scoff. “Don’t give me that, Jaehyun. I know it was you..I know that it was you who sold the pictures of me and put them up on campus.” You walk closer and closer to him while speaking harshly. 

“I know you wanted to embarrass me and make me desperate for you..so I tricked you..like you tricked me this entire time, I made you fall in love, just so I could break your heart.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as they fill with tears. His mouth falls open. “You…you really think I could do that to you?”

You nod. “After everything you did to me, you still try to pretend to love me.”

Jaehyun gasps. “Pretend?” He shakes his head. “I have always loved you. There’s not a moment in my goddamn life that I don’t think about you.”

You finally break your gaze, finding it hard to keep your eyes focused on him as he cries endlessly.

“Look..I may have done something shitty and I deeply regret it, but I could never embarrass or dehumanize you like that.” He sniffles. “I’d never put you in danger.”

“Stop lying Jaehyun! We know you were trying to get back at both of us, I tried to stop you!” Reina yells while holding Taeyong, who is still knocked out.

“Fuck you! You’re the reason all of this is happening.”

He takes his phone out and shows you a text he received from his friend. The text he had been calling you about all night.

“Look.. it’s a photo taken from a security camera on campus. I asked my buddy, who volunteers at the police station, to do some digging for me two weeks ago because I wanted to find out who’d done this to you.”

You look at the picture, a breath leaving you once you see who is stapling a print out of your scandalous photo onto a tree.

You turn to her, tears falling onto your cheeks.

“You fucking bitch.”

Reina loses a semblance of her coolness and clears her throat.

“Why? Why did you do this to me?” You sob.

“Because she wants me! She’s so desperate to have me to herself, she’d do something as cruel as this!”

You hold your face in your hands.

“Jaehyun..I’m so sorry..” you reach out to hold him, but he pulls away.

“I’m not surprised by her, but I’m disappointed in you. You’ve hurt me..so badly.” He walks out as you run after him, still clutching the sheet to your body.

“Jaehyun, please!! She showed me the video you made a week before you came to my moms house! She said you were back to making videos together!” You tell him, but Jaehyun shakes his head and turns to you in shock.

“I’d been taking exams the entire time, y/n. There’s no way I’d do that! She just uploads old videos of us to get more money!”

You look back at Reina as she leaves the room too. “Oh..my God.” You crouch down to the floor. How could you be so easy…again?

Reina chuckles and crosses her arms before leaning against the door frame. She nods. “Well..this isn’t exactly how I’d expect things to go down, but I should’ve known you’d still be subscribed to me as part of the notification crew..” she whistles before continuing.

“Yes..I lied, yes..I hacked his iCloud and printed those sexy pics of you, y/n. But it’s only because I wanted to teach him a lesson. He can’t leave me..I made him.” She laughs again. “And to leave me for you? Oh that pissed me off even more. He makes you seem like you’re an angel on Earth. No..he doesn’t deserve you, he deserves someone like me.“ She walks towards him and attempts to touch his chest but he steps back and looks down on her in disgust.

“Valentine Boy deserves someone as lustful, self-centered, and greedy as himself..”

“You’re cruel. And what you did was a crime. I hope it was worth it.”

He speaks sharply.

You cry and remember the call you had just a few weeks ago with her.

[REINA’s CALL]

“I understand why you’re upset..I’d be too, but you have to understand that this is just Jaehyun’s way of getting back at you.. he was upset that you made him stop. He was desperate for cash so he sold your pics y/n.”

You gasp while listening to her over the phone. Should you have listened to her? Maybe not, but could you really trust Jaehyun after everything? After all, he did take the photos.

“I begged him not to..I told him this would ruin you, but he did it anyway..he made some cash, but he didn’t expect whoever these jerks were to print them out and put them all over campus as a joke.”

You scoff. A joke? That’s all this was for them, a joke.

Reina continues. “He got drunk the other night and came to see me. He said that he didn’t expect all this to happen, but that it worked out in his favor anyway. You’d eventually realize that no one else would love you because you've been exposed and praised as a pornstar slut all over campus. You’d be reliant on him forever..or so he hopes. But I won't let that happen, y/n. I want to help you get your revenge.”

“Why should I believe you?”

Reina exhales. “Listen, I have nothing to lose by telling you the truth. As a matter of fact, I have something to gain. If he gets back with you, he’ll stop doing videos with me, and I’ll stop making money. So I’ll need you to break his heart, therefore he’ll come running back to me. Capeesh? Everyone is happy. And I’d you don’t believe me, take a look at the link I just texted you..”

You look at your phone and click the link. It’s a video of Jaehyun and Reina on OnlyCams with the broadcast date showing “One Week Ago.”

Your brows bunch as you grind your teeth. This bastard was already back to this without you being in his life.

He was misleading you again.

“See? You’ve only been separated for a few weeks and he’s already back to making videos and money with me..”

You can almost hear her smile over the phone as you sit there with steam escaping your ears.

“What is it you want from me?” You let out through clenched teeth.

“Ask to be his girlfriend again, then start making videos with me..break his heart this time so that he gives up on you..get your revenge and make money at the same time. You’re pretty enough and by now I’m sure you’re used to everyone looking at your body. So…join us.”

[PRESENT DAY]

“Jaehyun..wait..please, I was stupid, I’m sorry I hurt you!”

You stand up from the floor and hurriedly change into your T-shirt and sweatpants that you brought. You run after Jaehyun as he heads out of the door.

However, Reina pushes you to the side to run after him first. She hurries down the stairs.

“Jaehyun!! Don’t go..I love you more than she does, can’t you see? I went through all this trouble for you! I never doubted you, I never hurt you, I only loved you and shared what I had!”

She wraps her arms around his waist from the back, keeping him still as she sobs.

“You’re everything to me, I need you, baby.”

Your mouth falls open as you watch from the top of the stairs.

This was Reina’s plan all along and you fell for it, like an idiot. You allowed yourself to be played.

You rush down and run away, through the trees, hoping that no one will find you. You’re beyond embarrassed and devastated at how everything has turned out.

Jaehyun pries Reina off of him, grabbing her arms off and pushing her away. She calls onto the ground and reaches up for him, but he only grimaces and steps back again.

“Leave me alone!! You’re fucking crazy! If I see you again, I swear I will call the cops!”

In a final desperate attempt, she grabs his ankle. “If you leave me, I will send everything to your dad!”

Jaehyun’s mouth falls open.

“You wouldn’t dare..” he says with venom on his tongue, he truly couldn’t believe she’d do this to him.

“I don’t love you, I never have and I never will.” He pulls his foot away and continues to his car to drive after you.

He looks all over but doesn’t see a trace in the night sky.

He then takes his phone out of his pocket and goes to dial you, but Reina grabs it out of his hand and throws it to the ground in a fit of rage, breaking it instantly.

“You fucking bitch!” He places both hands around her neck and begins to choke her.

She smiles. “Yes, Valentine Boy, come inside and punish me.”

He grows even angrier, letting go and jumping into his car.

“No no no..don’t go!” She slams the trunk of it as he drives off.

“Fuck…” he drives everywhere, looking through the woods to see if he can catch a glimpse of you running through them. 

You find somewhere to rest and crouch down while crying. Your hands shake. How could everything go to shit so quickly?

You take your phone and call Bella.

“Hey..I’m coming over.” You sob.

When you get to your shared apartment, Bella welcomes you with a big hug. “I missed you so much.” She tears up.

You sit down and explain everything to her as she consoles you. Jackson is there as well, making ramen noodles in the kitchen for you.

“Y/n..it’s not your fault, I probably would’ve done the same thing.” He says as he walks in with a bowl.

You take it from him as you sniffle.

“She’s a bitch, she manipulated you. God I can't wait until she gets arrested!”

Bella clenches her fists.

“How..will Jaehyun forgive me? He’ll never look at me again.” You cry harder again.

“No no don’t say that, you’ve forgiven him more than once, he’ll probably forgive you too. Just talk to him…give him some time to calm down, then call him.” Bella rubs your back as you listen. She was right, if Jaehyun truly loved you, maybe he would see it from your point of view and forgive you.

You nod. “Okay.”

And after finishing your noodles and taking a shower, you fall asleep.

———

[The Next Day]

You rub your swollen, red eyes and pick up your phone instantly.

You have no new notifications Jaehyun, only his missed calls from before everything went down. You swallow hard and dial him back, but it goes straight to voicemail. You then send him a text, but receive a message.

The subscriber you are trying to message is not accepting calls or texts at this time.

You sigh and put your phone down on the bed. As expected, Jaehyun blocked you. He’s deeply hurt and wants nothing to do with you. And so you cry again, clutching your pillow to your chest as the day goes on.

Jaehyun stares out of his window and thinks of you. He misses you so much, and now he can’t call you as his phone was destroyed by Reina.

Now that he’s calmed down and erased the image of you having sex with another man from his mind for a moment, he realizes you  both messed up, you both hurt each other and he wanted to talk with you to see if you still don’t trust him or rather, do you love him at all anymore?

He’s not sure if you’re at your mom’s place or your place near campus with Bella, or if you even made it home safe..but he needs to find you.

He takes a shower, feeds and walks Dora then gets ready to head out in the afternoon, but he is stopped when he hears a knock on his door.

Dora barks before he shushes her and taps her behind lightly.

He braces himself. Could it be Reina? Could it be you? Could it be the guy he knocked out?

He looks through the peephole and sees someone he didn’t expect.

He opens the door and allows the man in.

“How’s my favorite nephew doing?” Jaehyun’s uncle, Charlie, pats his shoulder before stepping towards the couch.

Jaehyun looks at him nervously, but follows behind.

His uncle is a professor at the college. He was instructed by his father to watch over Jaehyun carefully, but in respect for Jaehyun’s growth as an adult, Charlie never overstepped or took his role too seriously.

“Hi..what’s going on?”

He places his bag down and sits beside him.

“Well..you and I…I guess I should say, you are in some deep shit.”

Jaehyun places his hands in a fist in front of him and his eyes lay on the coffee table.

He placed his fingers over his bruised knuckles, swallowing hard as he anticipates what his uncle will say next.

Not many things bothered Jaehyun, but impromptu visits from his family members always made him uneasy. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that girl whose pictures were put all over campus the other day, would you?”

Charlie leans forwards

“Why do you ask?”

Jaehyun clears his throat.

“Oh well…I just thought you might know something..” 

Jaehyun turns to him and speaks softly. “Uncle..why are you really here?”

“Jaehyun..you know..how your father is..”

Upon hearing this, Jaehyun suddenly remembers Reina’s threat. His eyes widened.

“He knows..I know, your mom knows…I mean, personally, I don’t care, it’ll all be erased at some point, but Jaehyun..it’s not looking good for you.”

His uncle continues as he sits back on the couch and exhales.

“Why’d you do it? It’s not like you need the money. Is this like a young couple thing? Is she your..girlfriend?”

“No!…no, not at all..” Jaehyun stands up. He’s furious that Reina really actually exposed him to his father despite knowing their rocky relationship with each other.

“I’m not sure why I did it, Charlie, maybe I needed to feel independent. Maybe I just don’t like asking my hypocritical father for anything..”

Charlie nods, sighing again before fixing his tie. “Well, Jaehyun..whatever your reason is, I get it. You’re your own person.”

Jaehyun stands in silence while clenching his fist.

“Nonetheless, your father is pissed…he wants you back in Korea.”

“What?!” Jaehyun turns around and stares in shock.

“I know..I know..he’s a bit dramatic, but he’s not happy about you becoming a “pornstar.” His words, not mine.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “I’m not going back.”

Charlie stands and holds his hands out in front of him. “Look, I know you love it here and you don’t want to be anywhere near your father, but think of it this way. You can start fresh back home and learn what it’s like to run a business. Eventually, you’ll make your own money again and won’t have to rely on anyone!”

“But that’s exactly what’s gonna happen! I’ll have to rely on him to get the position! It’s not fair!”

“Jaehyun..I know, you’re upset right now, but just go..at least for the summer break. Maybe you need some time away to rethink everything.”

“No..I won’t.” He looks into Charlie’s eyes.

“Tell him I said “no.””

Charlie sighs and looks to the floor. “He won’t pay for your college anymore…you’ll officially be on your own, cut out of the family name completely, is that what you really want?”

Jaehyun remains silent as he contemplates his choices.

“Think about it and let me know soon so I can help, I’ll try to calm him down for now.”

He lays a hand on his shoulder and leaves.

———

[3 Days Later]

You finally leave your bed and decide to treat yourself to some coffee from the cafe on campus. Jaehyun never showed up or called so you stopped expecting him to. However, you still thought about him all the time. You missed him so much, but if space is what he wanted, then you were in no position to deprive him of that.

This was your punishment for hurting him.

You stuff your hands in your hoodie and look up at the menu, knowing very well that you’ll just choose what you always do. An iced grande caramel macchiato.

You smile while taking the drink from the barista and look for a seat.

You find your favorite comfy chair in the corner and place your laptop on the table in front of it.

So far, your day is going pretty well. Favorite drink, favorite seat. What else would go right for you?

You needed to distract yourself from thinking of Jaehyun. You take a few sips while reading a novel Bella recommended to you. 

Gentle Monsters.

It’s about a woman who runs, literally, into a handsome man that operates a glass conservatory. The catch is he happens to be hiding a dark secret.

Your eyes scan through the pages quickly as the drama gets juicy and then..your laptop screen is pushed down.

“Hey! What the h-“

“Hey..”

Your eyes grow when you see who takes a seat across from you.

“T-Taeyong?”

“Mhm” he smiles while sipping a pink drink. He wore sunglasses and as he tilted his head, you could see remnants of the bruise Jaehyun left him.

“What..are you doing here?”

“Oh, I didn’t know dashingly good looking boys couldn’t be college students too.”  He says sarcastically.

“I didn’t know you studied here..so does that mean..you saw my pictures? Did you know about me before we met?”

Your face becomes warm as you lean forward and whisper.

“No..I didn’t..I don’t pay that much attention to what happens on campus to be honest.”

You exhale and relax in your chair.

“And if I had, what would it matter now? I’ve already seen…everything..” he eyes you up and down. His gaze is almost too much to bear and you start to feel like Patrick Starr’s rock home under the sea is the perfect place for you right about now.

“Ugh..” you close your eyes and shake your head. “Please..don’t remind me.”

Taeyong’s mouth falls open. “What? Was it that bad?”

“No..it was..magnificent..you were, I mean, are magnificent..it’s just…”

He chuckles as you stumble over your words.

What could you say? He had an intense aura about him that made you nervous. What made matters worse was the fact that a small part of you wanted to kiss him again.

“Oh..magnificent, I like that.” He says in a growl while running a hand through his luscious brown hair.

For some reason, it felt like you were cheating on Jaehyun again so you looked away quickly. “I’m..sorry about Jaehyun, he shouldn’t have hit you..it’s all my fault.”

He shrugs. “It’s fine..you can just make it up to me later.”

You laugh and look outside the window. “Gosh you’re interesting..”

“And magnificent..” he places his sunglasses on top of his head to wink at you.

“Hey!” A girl stops by your table and squints.

“Aren’t you that girl from the posters?” Her friend beside her snickers.

“Oh..” you look down at the table.

They laugh loudly, and begin to create a scene inside the quiet cafe. “Nice! I guess nothing is left to the imagination anymore! Talk about desperate!”

You swallow hard and tap the table while waiting for them to just walk away. You could’ve gone off on them, but what would that do? They’d only make fun of you as more people look up and start to recognize your face too.

Taeyong grows angry once he sees how upset you look. “What’s so funny? Look, I’d be insecure too when she has a perfect face and body and I look like..” he looks her up and down and grimaces. 

“that..” he fakes a total body shiver.

“Better get going, I think Shrek is looking for his long lost cousin.” He says smoothly while giving an evil glare. He puts a finger on his chin and squints. “Congratulations on being the first ogres to be admitted to this school. Yay! diversity!”

You can’t help but laugh.

“Go away now before I call animal control.” he shoos them away.

Damn, he was lethal. You’d hate to be on his bad side.

The girl’s friend scoffs before saying “fuck you..” and walks away.

“I wouldn’t fuck you with the lights off, bitch.”

Your eyes grow.

“Taeyong!”

“What? They’re rude and ugly.” He rolls his eyes.

You found it hot that he’d defend you like this and simply laugh again.

“Anyway, once I found out about Reina’s plan and what she did to you, I left. I want nothing to do with her.” He sips his drink again.

“Yeah..I’m sorry she used you too..”

“Oh don’t be sorry, on the bright side, I got to meet you.” 

A moment of silence rests between the two of you.

You nod and start to gather your things.

“Well, I should get going!”

“Y/n..” he says as he touches your hand on the table.

“I’d love to spend time with you again..”

You take your hand away and tuck it into your pocket again.

“Oh..I don’t plan on doing anything like that ever again, I’m sorry.”

Taeyong laughs. “No..of course not like that, get your head out of the gutter…I mean, time like this at a cafe or park, or something..you’re nice to talk to.”

“Oh..shit, I don’t know why I was thinking that like of course you meant just regular time like this, it’s just the way you said it, you know like the way you touched my hand, I-“

He laughs before standing up from the table. “You’re a mess, let me walk you out.”

Taeyong held your hand to help you stand up from the soft chair.

You walked outside together, but said your goodbyes as you headed in different directions.

“Y/n..” he calls out to you as you walk away.

“Yeah?”

“Phone.”

You fish your phone out of your pocket quickly and hand it to him. He smiles from ear to ear as he puts his number into your phone.

“Don’t be shy now, remember I’ve already seen everything..” he leans in close to your ear. “And I love it..”

You gasp as you punch his chest lightly.

“I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

He waves while trotting away.

You stand there dumbfounded and completely smitten by the man, then you suddenly remember Jaehyun and wonder if these new feelings told you you were over him.

Jaehyun wonders the same thing as he watches from across the street.

He was heading to your place with a bouquet of flowers when he saw you and the man he punched leaving the cafe. He decided to park into a spot a few spaces away and watch your interaction.

You looked..happy. This man made your eyes light up, and the sight was much more painful than watching you get fucked by him.

He now knew that emotions were involved. But did he have any right to be upset? If you decided to move on, why shouldn’t he accept that? You’re doing what’s best for you.

He looks at the flowers in his passenger seat.

He was hurt by everything, but he still felt bad for dragging you into all of this in the first place. He was going to apologize and attempt to prove his worthiness as a boyfriend once more, but after seeing you so happy with another man, he isn’t sure if he had any more chances to take.

A few hours later, you receive a call from campus police.

They positively identified Reina as the person that placed the photos everywhere so they ask if you’d like to press charges for harassment while they charge her for vandalism and breaking into private property.

You nod and say “yes.” The process would be long to convict her of this crime against you, for anyone could argue that you voluntarily took the photos. But you’re determined to teach her and anyone else that thinks of posting “revenge porn” a lesson.

———

[One Week Later]

You finally receive a text from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun to You: I just got a new phone..I’m sorry for taking so long, would you like to go somewhere?

You tremble slightly and respond. You were starting to get used to not hearing from him so this shocked you

You to Jaehyun: yes

You needed to apologize again, but more importantly, you needed to know how Jaehyun felt about you after everything. Does he still want to date you? Could you make this work?

Later that day you meet up at the park.

Jaehyun arrives with Dora and sits on a bench.

You immediately sit down as well and start to per her.

“Y/n..” Jaehyun says with his warm honey voice. You always grow weak when he calls your name.

You look up at him, taking in the brokenness in his eyes

“I’m so sorry, Jaehyun..I..I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry. After everything I put you through, I honestly deserved that.”

“Jaehyun..I’m so tired..I don’t know what’s going on anymore, everyone on campus thinks I’m a slut and I feel so dumb and pathetic.” You start to tear up.

“No, they don’t. They’ve already forgotten about it, okay? And come fall semester, absolutely no one will remember you as that girl.”

You sniffle and nod. Thank God for summer break.

“I think..I just need time..it’s all too much.” You look up at him and Jaehyun isn’t sure if you need time away from everything or just time away from him.

He scoots closer to you on the bench and takes your hands in his. “Don’t worry about anything, I’m here for you, okay? We can start over. We can be completely honest with each other this time.”

You look to the sky as he continues.

“Please, y/n, please come back to me. I promise to make it all right.”  

If you say yes, I’ll stay, even if that means betraying my father, he thinks to himself.

You still sit quietly and think to yourself.

You loved Jaehyun, but you found yourself second guessing everything, could you truly be like how you once were. Then, there are your wandering eyes and emotions. If you loved him with all your heart, how could you possibly think of another man in that way?

And the question that screamed the loudest was why? Why did Jaehyun click the notification from Reina’s livestream in the first place?

You look back to Jaehyun who anxiously awaits your answer, his eyes glossy with tears.

“Jaehyun…I” you start to cry, you can’t hold back your emotions as you fear that  deep down, you already know the answers to all of these questions.

”Do you still love me?” He asks with tears flowing in a steady stream. Your heart breaks to see his lovely eyes so red.

Your mouth falls open.

Why are you hesitating?

“I- '' want to, is what you wanted to say, but just couldn't.

You can’t answer because you know you still don’t trust him. Furthermore, you aren’t sure if you love him or only lust after him.

But still, why is your heart cracking slowly while you both cry? You can almost hear it inside your chest.

Jaehyun nods and stands up before wiping his tears away. “I won’t bother you anymore, y/n..”

“Jaehyun..don’t.” You stand up and grab his hand before he can walk away.

He pulls away and takes Dora’s leash.

Make it easy, lie and rip the band aid off. 

He clears his throat. “I actually wanted to meet with you..because I’ve been thinking during our time away from each other…I don’t think I love you anymore…”

And there it was, the sound of your heart finally falling to the ground and breaking into a million pieces that were beyond repair.

You weren’t sure if you loved Jaehyun, but to hear him say he doesn’t love you is a pain unlike any other.

“…and I think it’s time to move on.” He turns away from you, knowing that the look on your face would only make him fall to the ground and sob.

But deep down, he knows he lies because it’s easier for him to decide for you. This was the only way you could move on. He had to make you hate him.

“You and I both know we only use each other for sex…this isn’t love, it never was, and it has no chance of ever being that..that’s why I cheated on you and felt no emotion.”

He turns back to you and speaks sternly. “If we were to date again, I’d probably cheat again in hopes of finding the true love I crave and don’t receive from you..”

His words stung like sharp daggers and you’re pretty sure even Caesar had an easier pain than what you feel right now.

For a few minutes, you are completely speechless and debate whether or not you should argue with him. But instead, you nod and walk away. “Okay Jaehyun, goodbye.”

You can't see your way through the park as water floods your eyeballs. You finally stop at a stream and clutch your chest.

The tears never stop, your head starts hurting and you feel yourself on the verge of a panic attack.

You call Bella who hears your gasps and panic over the phone. 

“Take deep breaths! I’ll be right there!”

She rushes from home to get to you while you go dizzy.

Jaehyun has trouble driving home, his teary eyes causing the road to blur. He pulls over and pounds his fist against the steering wheel.

“Fuck!” He yells before holding his face in his hands. He didn’t expect saying goodbye to be so difficult, he didn’t expect to regret it for the rest of his life.

He just broke the heart of his one true love.

———

[A Few Months Later]

“Come on, Dora, let’s get back inside.”

Jaehyun calls after Dora to go back into his mom’s house in Korea.

His mom sits at the table as she goes over the final preparations for his father’s funeral.

The real reason Jaehyun’s father sent for him was because he was ill and only given a few months to live by doctors. He did scold him for creating such scandalous videos, but didn’t spend too much time on it as he had more pressing matters at hand.

Jaehyun deleted all social media and focused on his father’s health as a result. To you, it seemed he had fallen off the face of the Earth.

He trained Jaehyun and taught him some of what he needed to know about the business during his final days alive. Jaehyun was thankful for the opportunity and finally found himself bonding with him after all this time.

“I can teach you all about finances and numbers, Yoon Oh, but I can’t teach you about being passionate about it. At the end of the day, you’ll only regret what you didn’t do for your heart..I guess, that’s why we didn’t see eye to eye before.”

He chuckles before coughing. “It took me getting to this point to realize..All my life, I had no true passion. Nothing worth missing.”

Jaehyun sits at his father’s bedside as he prepares to say goodbye.

He cries while listening to him speak.

“You were always so passionate about art and all this stuff I didn’t understand..I didn’t respect it because I didn’t get it..but what does it matter? It’s about you.. and if it makes your heart happy…if it makes your soul complete, then why should you let it go?”

His father passed away peacefully the next day, leaving Jaehyun with wise words he’d never forget.

A few weeks after the funeral, Jaehyun is tasked with deciding whether or not to stay and gradually take over the business or to go back to college and finish his studies.

Being away from you gave Jaehyun the chance to learn more and think with a clearer mind, hence his decision to go back.

He told his mother he’d be going back only to get his degree, but really, he found his fathers words hard to ignore.

“If it makes your heart happy, if it makes your soul complete..then why should you let it go?”

For Jaehyun, this was about you. He couldn’t fight the urge to love you, he couldn’t just let you go like that.

So he leaves Dora with his mom and heads back.

He knows it will take some time to make up for his shitty actions, but he’d do whatever it takes to love you again, even if that meant watching you from a distance. Just seeing your smile and laugh was enough for him.

He’d complete his studies, but he’d always have you on his mind. 

He keeps in touch with your mom without you knowing, that is, until Christmas dinner that year.

He knocks on her door and waits patiently for her to open it. It would be the first time you’d see each other since he broke up with you. It was going to be difficult, but he had to try. 

What he didn’t account for was the fact that your mind may have already been set on someone else..the strange, handsome fellow named Sicheng that sat across from him now at the dinner table.

The End

Thank you again for going on this journey with me, i hoped you enjoyed it xoxo - Krys

(Hint: check out the agreement to see what happens during the Christmas dinner hehe)

[shehungthemoon]

Just dumping my Ina Paha thoughts here. 🙃

First of all I did NOT know it was the 100th episode going into this, so i was very confused watching the montage at the end lol

I also had to click out and make sure I didn't click the wrong episode when the Pilot started playing at the beginning. When I heard Danny's voice on the phone instead of Hesse's I swear I got whiplash

It's filmed so well (bar where they reshot the pilot where Steve gets Danny on the phone instead of a dead dad, in which they literally forgot to put the same filter over the scene to make the stitching coherent) and I absolutely love the camera work they did with the white-room and the video projections. It felt very much a level above normal network television cinematography, especially the parts where Steve's going in and out of the hallucinations.

Steve finally FINALLY killing Wo-Fat was so cathartic, it should have happened ages ago but I'm willing to look past all the dumb ways he survived just to allow this incredible ending to his story.

Ina Paha gave me Kono doing... this. I owe Grace Park my whole life. Pls costuming department put her in hot pink again 💗

yes, it was a Steve episode. but Danny REALLY shone, first as the only resident Actual Detective figuring out what happened to Steve by the tire-tracks, rampaging through the compound steadily and efficiently and knocking people off without a pause, and then in Steve's mind shooting Hesse's kneecaps off?!?!?! That was CRAZY and probably not suppose to be as hot as it was and definitely made me want an ex-mobster AU immediately. Basically I have a competency kink and really like badass!danny shit 😊

Seeing Chin's long hair again made me swoon

My jaw dropped when I saw Jenna! I think it's really interesting that Steve still thinks of her so much, and I was surprised that she showed up in both the actual dreams and the montage. I definitely underestimated how much she impacted Steve's life, it seems, and I hate that we'll never hear him address that and we'll only know about it inadvertently like this.

(hand over the heart for how lori got like. one team shot. poor girlie.)

⭐I took the montage at the end as being flashbacks and memories that Steve was having as he left the compound. Looking at it through that lens certainly makes one unwell.

Obligatory squeal for Adam appearing just to save the day :))) look below to see the love of my life! :)))))) ⬇⬇⬇

Of course, the obligatory mcdanno bullet(s). It writes itself! The way Danny said Steve's name so small and broken when he found him. The way they look at each other on the ground, the pain their faces. I need an official apology statement from Scott and Alex for it. Can we talk about what flashes by during the montage at the end? (IMO it being Steve's memories.) So much Danny.

The first thing is Danny and Steve's first meeting. Jfc. The showrunners milk it SO MUCH and who's complaining

The big, rocking hug. The hands clasping underground. Gracie of course. And then Danny collapsing from the bioweapon, which to be honest I was NOT expecting to see at all--it felt like a genuinely strange choice to include in there and it really ONLY makes sense if you go along with all that being what Steve's remembering. Even then, I was surprised to see it, so basically this is Hawaii Five-Oh making mcdanno gayer than even I was wanting them to be. Steve still thinks about that? From so long ago? Even with so many other close calls in between then and now? Good fucking lord ok then loverboy that's WILD. Canon accepted ig this show is just pure whump.

Danny goes through all of this just days after losing his brother and killing Reyes. JFC can we please address that. I need a 30k introspection fic to let me into this man's mind rn.

The Wo Fat v.s. Steve fight at the end was INCREDIBLE. I would love to give the choreographer's hand a shake, it's some of the best work I've seen on television in a long time. It was impressive for a procedural like this. It was long and physical and you truly didn't know what the outcome was going to be; it everything that their built-up relationship deserved for a conclusion. It also happening with a Steve coming off of hours of torture and drugging was crazy (guess we finally know who would win a PVP if they were both at full strength!). That being said I was really impressed with Wo Fat's capabilities and physical prowess, I was not expecting it to be so even and close to the line. I actually jumped when Steve LIFTED him up into the lighting fixture. We do not talk about Steve's (Alex's???) raw upper-body strength enough.

Anyway. Electricity in the water play. The physicality hell that this gif below is ⬇. Fire extinguishers and loaded needles. Crazy martial arts. Chair and buckets (holy shit did y'all see the force with which Wo Fat SHOT that bucket?????) flying. All's fair. I loved it.

The shot going right through the forehead, clean. I don't know how to put into words why that's so monumental to me but it is.

The mystery bad lady was SO intriguing, I wish we got more from her... How does she know Wo Fat? Why was she entrusted with all that information on him and Steve and especially Doris? Absolutely where did she come from, what was her name? Why did I have a huge huge hot crush on her? All important questions. (Goes to show that h50 CAN give us some more genuine badass, not just there to date someone women characters, just explicitly choose not to. I'm holding out for Ellie to remain platonic so hard right now.)

Almost forgot Danny in that black Hawaiian shirt. Will be whimpering over that image forever. The whole episode I was trying to focus on the underlining betrayal mystery they were laying out but every time my brain started working too hard Scott with his stupid waist and those flower patterns just started flashing into my head

Again, are you seeing this:

I'm unwell and so so happy.

H50 you're a gem when you want to be.

[heiayen]

to think that we could stay the same lumine x gn!reader

summary: “Whatever it will fix? Will it fix the world around us?” You made a wide gesture around yourself, at the world you learned to love and enjoy that now was ruins, and then you pointed at yourself, “Will it fix us?” of foolish love and apologies, of ruined world and warmth that will never come back.

tags: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, hurt/no comfort, reader dies but the scene isn't detailed, this is... kind of abyss!lumine but to be perfectly fair, this fic is also very canon divergence.

notes: jfc shoutout to @kopidense who is the one and only reason this fic exists!! okayy sooo this! is for secret santa event for @mafuyuslover!! it was absolutely a pleasure to write and once again massive thanks to kopi!! i kinda went in different direction than yours but... the end is the same. silly. this fic just took my soul i fear. anyways. happy holidays i come with angst.

"...why are you crying?"

Gaze into the abyss for too long, and it will gaze back. That’s what you learned, after spending centuries hunting her. Searching every nook and cranny, letting your mind be corrupted with desperation and despair, grabbing the dark, clawed hand reaching you from the abyss. 

Hunting.

When did your adoration for her turn into the need to bring her down? To bring her to her knees, to yell out all your sadness and longing for something, that will never come back. For the days full of light and warmth, with Lumine holding your hand, fingers intertwined, Aether looking at you two with a smile, still alive– 

You looked at her. Once, you would whisper poetry into her lips, of your never-ending love for her, your hopes of always staying together because, oh, so much you defeated together, surely there was nothing that could ever separate you. 

Nothing could. You foolishly believed in it, and yet were proven wrong.

"There you are..." You gritted your teeth, looking at the woman you once loved. Maybe you still did. A part of you did, drowned by the grief of losing her. "I've been looking for you for so long..."

Lumine raised her chin, her steel gaze meeting yours. A little broken, tears threatening to spill out, lips twisting into something akin to a frown.

"You didn't answer my question." 

And yet nothing seemed to match her gaze. Not the gentleness of her voice, causing goosebumps on your skin. How you missed her voice, how you missed hearing it, the softness directed at you and only you. 

In Lumine’s hand, a sword materialized. The same she used to put down every enemy daring to attack you, to raise its own weapons at you. None of them had the time to react before meeting the sharp blade of a lover.

And yet this time, her fingers barely gripped her sword. 

You materialized your own, gripping it tight. 

“[Name],” she repeated, her voice losing its softness and gaining cold in its place. 

You really didn’t want to cry. Not in front of her. 

"I am not." Yet your voice broke and you felt first tears drop from your eyes into your cheeks. 

Her eyes softened.

She approached you slowly and you couldn’t help but just let her, despite everything screaming at you to move away, no, don’t let her get any closer–

She reached out her free hand to cup your cheek, but she froze mid-air. Her eyes looked all over your face, looking for anything– something telling her what to do, and you only continued looking at her.

Her thumb swiped at your cheek, meeting a lone tear falling from your eyelashes.

“I didn’t mean for it to end… like this,” Lumine said softly, her palm gently cradling your cheek, her eyelids dropping slightly, tiredness evident in her features, now that the stern mask she wore on her face broke down even further. “I’m sorry.”

Something also broke down in you.

“Sorry?” you breathed out, eyes widening in sudden anger, “You’re sorry? After leaving me completely alone, for centuries and centuries, and the most you say is… sorry? You can only apologize as if it would change anything?”

(Something else screamed in you, wanting to throw yourself into her arms, cry into her shoulder, and act as if everything was fine again. To ignore the blade in her hand, sharp as always.)

She stifled a gasp and moved her hand away as if burned, eyes wide at your words. She took a step back and let her hand fall to her side. She opened her mouth to speak, but you were faster.

“What will an apology do, Lumine?” you asked her, forcing your voice to sound stern, blinking the tears away, not wanting to show any more weakness.

She didn’t answer. 

“Whatever it will fix? Will it fix the world around us?” You made a wide gesture around yourself, at the world you learned to love and enjoy that now was ruins, and then you pointed at yourself, “Will it fix us?”

Her eyes were now wide, brows furrowed and lips twisted, the mask broken completely. 

Was she finally feeling the centuries-old sadness that you lived with for the past years? 

(Could she? Though Lumine lived for millennials, you were sure, could she feel even the tiniest drop of your sadness? Could she?)

“Answer me.”

That seemed to throw her out of whatever state of shock she was in and she took a deep breath, looking down.

She stepped back.

“...I had my reasons.”

“Reasons?!” You burst out, in complete disbelief that something like having reasons could be an acceptable excuse for all the pain that her absence caused, “Fuck your reasons, Lumine! Whatever could be possibly–”

“I had hoped that the next time we met, it would be in a better place, with no need to bring out our weapons,” she said quietly and you wanted to laugh, “Where I would tell you of my journey and why I made all these choices. And none of them was easy.”

When she looked back at you, there was– something in her eyes– newfound intensity and hurt underneath it. It hurt to look at her, sudden fear climbing its way to your mind.

She gripped her sword tighter and now it was your turn to step back, raise your weapon higher.  

“I never wanted to end it like this,” her tone was sincere, you could easily tell, yet you found it hard to believe.

“If you never wanted it to end like this, then… gods!” you yelled in frustration, “Why couldn’t you just do something else?! Was leaving me and this world to ruin the only possible choice?”

“I never told you, because I knew you wouldn’t understand my choices, not until you would see the truth of this world for yourself,” Lumine said, her voice loud and harsh to your ears.

“What truth? Of what world” you interrupted her, ”The one that your very hand led to ruin?” 

And that seemed to take her aback for a moment, lips parting and closing before she spoke again.

“...I’m sorry, [name].” She raised her sword, as if ready to lunge at you.

You blinked.

“You’re going to what, kill me?” you barked out, a smile of disbelief tugging at your lips. But silence was the only reply you got, and a terrible realization started to settle in.

“...you’re going to kill me.” 

There was only silence.

With her first move, your fate was sealed and her blade meet your own.

(It was only when your cold body was lying in the pool of your blood, completely lifeless, Lumine allowed herself to cry for you, not for the first time in the past centuries and certainly not the last.)

taglist: @ryuryuryuyurboat

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Hot Chocolate, Ice Skates, and Prince Charming

Heya! I’ve just been quietly reading and rereading all your Roman angst and I hope you’re not tired of writing it because I have an idea 😅 How about some christmas Roman angst? I can’t think of anything specific but there’s that XD Keep up the writing and don’t feel pressured to post the fic on Christmas or to even take the request ❤️- lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie

Hello hello! :) Absolutely adore your work, and I hope you're having a wonderful holiday! I have come with a request for whenever you're up to it. If you would, it would be amazing to see your take on a Christmas-y themed fic with a focus on disabled Virgil. I had a hankering for Hallmark styled Christmas movies lately and I was just thinking about how fun it would be in your style. Hope that's ok! – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: some ableist language

Pairings: prinxiety (i am ashamed at how long it took me to fucking remember what their ship name is jfc)

Word Count: 10,080

At some point, Virgil will work out the exact science of how much to say 'yes' to friends who desperately want to do holiday-spirit-festive-stuff because they're his friends and he loves being there to watch them love things, but he also does not enjoy dying of either pain or sensory overload. This year doesn't look to be one of those years where he does better than others, though, if being surrounded by screaming children and off-key grainy speakers belting Mariah Carey for the past Too Fucking Long is any indication. He ducks his head to avoid yet another flying something-or-other as he huddles in on himself, making sure his cane doesn't get knocked over for the fourth time in as many minutes. "Excuse me?" He turns, half expecting someone selling cotton candy or those little memorabilia keychains, and— Oh. Hello. *** Virgil, fed up with the holiday spirit, meets Roman, a man who seems far too good to be true for such an auspicious time of year. From apology hot chocolate to late-night Christmas lights, maybe this year the magic will linger just a little bit longer.

 

At some point, Virgil will work out the exact science of how much to say 'yes' to friends who desperately want to do holiday-spirit-festive-stuff because they're his friends and he loves being there to watch them love things, but he also does not enjoy dying of either pain or sensory overload. This year doesn't look to be one of those years where he does better than others, though, if being surrounded by screaming children and off-key grainy speakers belting Mariah Carey for the past Too Fucking Long is any indication. He ducks his head to avoid yet another flying something-or-other as he huddles in on himself, making sure his cane doesn't get knocked over for the fourth time in as many minutes.

May your days be merry and bright indeed.

He sighs, squinting fruitlessly through the crowd to maybe catch sight of one of his friends' coats or something, before realizing that there's absolutely no way he's going to be able to do that when he can't even see the skating rink over the crowd gathered around the outside. And sure, he could stand, but is he going to? No. So he may as well just continue sitting here until one of them remembers that yeah, he's here too, and wades through the horde to his little bench oasis.

"Excuse me?"

He turns, half expecting someone selling cotton candy or those little memorabilia keychains, and—

Oh.

Hello.

"Sorry," the actual fucking model in front of him says, smiling sheepishly, "is the other half of this bench taken?"

"No," Virgil says way too quickly, but can you fucking blame him? The prettiest human that's ever existed just asked if he could sit down next to him. "Bench, uh—bench is very much not taken, you can—you can sit."

"Thanks."

Well, this might have backfired, because now very-pretty-attractive person is sitting right next to Virgil. And he definitely knows how to deal with this. Yeah, this is fine. This is totally fine. He just has to not keep sneaking glances at his perfectly coiffed hair…or his jawline…or the freckle right on the end of his nose…

"Is there something on my face?"

Shit. Fuck. "No, no, you're fine—" really fucking fine, dude— "sorry, I, uh, didn't mean to stare."

He chuckles. Not fair. Not fair at all. "It's okay, honey, no harm done."

Abort fucking mission, abort fucking mission, Very Pretty Person just called me a pet name, shit fuck holy shit what the fuck am I supposed to do?

He's spared the humiliation of verbal floundering when he chuckles again and holds out his hand. "Roman."

"Virgil." Please God, I hope my hand isn't too sweaty. "Nice, uh, nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Roman nods his chin toward the skating rink. "Taking a break?"

"Oh, I, uh, I'm not really big into ice skating."

"You've dragged yourself all the way to the madhouse and you're not going inside?"

"My friends," he says lamely, waving toward the entrance, "they really wanted to come, so I tagged along."

Roman hums, tilting his head. "Not very nice of them to leave you behind, is it?"

Shut up, he hisses at his heart which starts to pulse threateningly towards his throat, it's fine. This is fine. "It's fine. I don't really mind."

"Yes, being surrounded by extremely loud children and sitting right underneath a speaker," Roman says skeptically, "I'm sure."

"Well, I—uh—"

Roman sighs. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. It's none of my business, I know."

It totally could be your business though. Like, I would have exactly zero problems if you decided it was your business.

"I'll go with you if you want."

Virgil shakes himself out of his thoughts in time to see Roman smiling softly at him and he needs to figure out what the fuck he just said real fast before he gets lost in it. "Sorry, what?"

"If you want to go skate," Roman repeats, "I know it's hard if you're by yourself, especially in a crowd this big, so I'd be happy to come with if you wanted."

His heart sinks and the cane at his side grows a little colder. He forces himself to smile and shakes his head. "Sorry, I, uh, really am not into skating."

"Come on," Roman coaxes, holding his hand out, "I promise I'll be nice."

This is torture. This is literal actual torture and Virgil is about to sink into this fucking bench because the most attractive person he's ever fucking laid eyes on is asking him to skate and he can't and he's going to have to say no and then Roman might leave and they won't get a chance to talk anymore or he'll find out why Virgil doesn't want to skate and then it might turn out that he's not actually as sweet and charming as he's acting right now and—

Virgil's eyes slide to his cane and back up to Roman's. Roman follows his gaze, a cute little wrinkle between his brows, before his eyes widen in realization and his mouth drops open.

"O-oh," he stammers, "sorry, I thought—I didn't—"

"It's fine," Virgil mutters, picking up his cane and hunching over it.

"There's—well, I suppose there's no coming back from that." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Roman's cheeks turn a little pinker—so cute—and scratch the back of his head. "Can I buy you a hot chocolate to make up for it?"

Virgil's head snaps around. He stares at Roman. "What?"

"As an apology. I'll even make sure they put extra whipped cream on it."

He vaguely hears himself say something about sprinkles and then Roman's grinning again and sliding from the bench and vanishing into the crowd. Part of Virgil wants to immediately get up and run after him, but his hands are still wrapped around his cane and all he can do is hope to God that Roman wasn't some hallucination or fantasy and there really is a cute guy going to but him apology hot chocolate.

Five minutes pass.

Ten.

Fifteen.

No sign of Roman.

Virgil checks his phone and sees nothing—no text messages from his friends, no alarm, nothing except the battery he really should have charged before leaving the house and he now has to use extremely sparingly. The sinking feeling in his stomach is back; maybe Roman just wanted a quick and easy exit away from the pathetic whelp with the cane, or maybe he realized that there was something better he could be doing. He wouldn't blame him, not really. He might call him an ableist asshole the next time—if they ever saw each other again, but—

"Sorry, I'm so sorry," he hears breathlessly, "the line was miles long and then they couldn't find the sprinkles."

He turns, hardly daring to believe it, when he sees a massive cup of still-steaming hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream and red and green sprinkles held out toward him. He pries one of his hands from his cane and takes it, looking between it and Roman with disbelief. Roman smiles at him again and nods to the cup.

"Is that enough whip-cream?"

"Yeah," Virgil says faintly, "that's—I don't think I've ever seen this much before."

"Well, you deserve it," Roman says like an asshole because now Virgil has to down like half of it in one go to prevent him from seeing how fucking red he gets at that one little comment and he nearly burns his tongue off for it. "Whoa, whoa! Slow down, no one's gonna take it away from you, don't burn your mouth!"

"Too late."

Roman just chuckles again, like he's fond, like that's something they do, and he leans back against the bench. "Suit yourself, honey."

And now he has to do it again. Honestly.

You could not pay Virgil to remember what all they talk about. He doesn't know. He's too busy memorizing the crooked half-smile Roman has when he's vaguely amused by something, or the cute wrinkle that forms when he's thinking or concerned, or the way he keeps reaching out to almost touch Virgil's shoulder before changing his mind last-minute and leaning on the bench instead. He wants to reach back for him so bad but he's trying to hold the hot chocolate and his cane at the same time. His cheeks hurt from smiling and blushing and apparently Roman is really good at saying little things to make that worse. Does he remember what they are? No, because he's not paying attention to shit like that.

They're laughing at something—again, who knows what—when Roman checks his phone and sighs.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. But it was really nice to meet you and sit with you."

"You, uh, you too."

Roman grins and stands. "Happy Holidays, Virgil," he says, and disappears into the crowd.

"You too," he says, way too late, just as he realizes that he didn't even ask for Roman's number.

He looks down at the dregs of the hot chocolate and finds himself smiling slightly.

Maybe being dragged out here wasn't the worst thing after all.

2.

He truly doesn't expect to see Roman ever again, and he may have moped around the house for a few hours upon realizing that, so it takes him by surprise when he ends up sitting in the corner of some mall as his friends go last-minute shopping and a familiar voice calls out.

"Virgil?"

He almost breaks his neck with how fast he turns around. "Roman?"

Roman grins at him, a bag over his arm, before nodding to the other chair at the table. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Yes! I mean, no. I mean—please sit down."

"That's on me, I should've asked it in a less-annoying-to-answer way." He sets the bag on the floor and tucks his hands into his pockets. "Can I be really honest with you?"

"Sure."

"I wanted to run back to the bench the second I left because I realized I didn't ask you for your number. So, can I do that now before I forget again?"

"Yes," he says, pulling his phone out before Roman's even finished speaking, "yes, absolutely, go ahead. I wanted to do the same thing."

They exchange numbers and Virgil's in the middle of totally not putting a bunch of cute things after Roman's name because he has standards and a reputation—but come on, his last name is literally 'Prince,' what the fuck is he supposed to do?—when Roman calls his name and he looks up, surprised. Roman laughs and holds up his phone.

"Can I take a photo? For your contact?"

"Uh—um—sure?"

"Not that I'd forget what your pretty face looks like," Roman says as he takes a picture in the middle of Virgil blushing like an idiot, "but in case I want a reminder."

This. This is what he didn't remember. That Roman is apparently really good at being charming—literally Prince Charming, this is fake, this isn't real, people like Roman don't actually exist, where are the camera crews and reality show hosts?

"Alright, now that's out of the way…" Roman trails off when he notices that Virgil's still staring at the table, his cheeks bright red. "Hey, you okay?"

"I—uh—you—"

He chuckles. "Still stunnable, I see? Sorry, honey, am I being mean?"

"Okay, well, it's hard to tell how sincere you're being when you're still doing it, so—"

Roman throws his head back and laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay, you got me."

"Rude."

"You're still smiling at me, though."

"Shut up."

"Your smile is cute."

"Shut up," he mumbles again, trying to hide his face in his sleeves. Unfortunately, that means he's not balancing his cane against the table anymore and it falls to the ground with a loud clatter. A few people walking by turn to look. He goes to pick it back up only to realize Roman's already doing it, leaning it back against the table. "Oh, uh, thanks."

"Of course." He inclines his head toward some of the stores nearby. "You here by yourself?"

"No. Friends scrambling for last-minute stuff."

Roman makes a noise. "I'm not getting a fantastic impression of these friends of yours who drag you places and then leave you."

"They're not so bad, they know to pick places with easy seating so I can take breaks when I need them. Besides, they know better than to take me in certain places."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Apparently there's only so many times I can call out fancy soaps for smelling like ass before I get politely asked to leave, but—"

"Wait, wait, wait," Roman says, sitting forward with a grin, "you gotta tell me everything now, you can't just leave it there."

And so, Virgil dutifully recounts the story of the time some of his friends decided a fun way to spend the afternoon was to go into the fancy soap and other scented things shop to 'browse,' when in reality they were just going to see what the most obscure and specific scent was and mock it mercilessly. They managed to find everything from 'Bourbon-soaked Cotton' to 'Miasma,' which of course prompted Virgil to point out that they really didn't think that one through because miasma was the 'bad air' that supposedly caused things like the Black Death and you probably didn't want a candle called 'Miasma' in your house, which logically led to them all pretending to be plague doctors by wrapping up the complimentary cardboard box/bag things and holding them in front of their faces like plague doctor masks and acting like they'd discovered some new herbs to treat the nefarious diseases with.

Needless to say, they were politely asked to never come back ever again, and they definitely kept pretending to be plague doctors as they were 'escorted from the premises.'

Roman's fully collapsed back into the chair, shaking with laughter, by the time Virgil finishes telling the story. He has to stop and just look at him, because of course Prince Charming is really fucking pretty when he's laughing, and then he looks up at Virgil with that soft smile again and he can literally feel himself melting inside his hoodie.

"Well," he says through the last of the laughter, "I can see why they asked you not to come back."

"Yeah, well…" He shrugs. "Plus, if my friends actually want to get any shopping done, they decided it's best if I don't tag along so they can actually, you know, focus."

"Can't say I blame them, then. I'd be distracted by you too."

"Roman!"

"Okay, okay, I'm done, I promise." He grins. "I think your face might explode, it's so damn red."

'Yeah, well, whose fault is that?"

Roman holds a hand over his chest and bows halfway, like he's actually out of some period drama and wearing a fancy knight's costume instead of a button-down coat and scarf. "My deepest apologies, Virgil."

"Yeah, yeah, knock it off," Virgil grumbles as he chuckles.

They sit there in the quiet for a few more moments as a few groups of kids run by. The lights strung up around the pillars and various levels of the mall sparkle with that faux-snow-wet look as Christmas carols play over the speakers, Virgil taps his fingers absentmindedly to the beat, watching an ad play inside one of the stores.

"Okay, I have a potentially rude question that you can totally tell me to shut up for."

Part of Virgil immediately raises its hackles, but he turns to look at him. "Okay?"

Roman nods to his cane. "Where did you get your cane? My great-aunt uses one and she's been complaining about how boring her current one is for like, as long as I can remember, and yours is sick as hell."

It is pretty cool—it has this purple holo body and Virgil's stuck all sorts of stickers to it and the base is really nice and it's got an adjustable length too. "I can text you the name of the place?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, thank you."

He sends it off and puts his phone on the table. "That wasn't a rude question, by the way. That was fine."

Roman's shoulders visibly slump. "Okay, great, I wasn't—I really wasn't sure. I don't—sorry."

Virgil's eyes widen slightly as Roman starts to…fluster?

"I don't know a lot of people who use mobility aids on the regular and so I don't…really know what sort of things are appropriate to ask."

"You're fine," he says, still a little bemused, "you're doing great."

But then Roman smiles at him all soft again and he has to look away and cough before he starts getting all red again.

"Besides, you're right. My cane is sick as hell and it deserves compliments."

"It's definitely the coolest one I've ever seen. How did you get the stickers to stay so well?"

"There's this Etsy seller who specifically made them to go on mobility aids—she has forearm crutches and hers are decked out with cool shit, so I bought a couple for mine just to try them out and then, well, I couldn't stop."

"Could you send me the name of that place too? My aunt might want some."

"Sure, yeah, give me a moment to find it."

As he looks through his phone, he catches sight of Roman watching him. Not in a creepy way, he's just doing that fond thing where he's got his head slightly tilted and he's still smiling like he's just happy to be here with Virgil and he needs to stop thinking about it right now before his ears start going bright red too.

"There. Sent."

"Thanks, Virgil." He checks his phone just to make sure he's gotten it before he stands up. "I'd love to sit here all day with you, but I do have to run."

"Oh. Okay."

"I'll text you, okay? If you're not—I mean, if you don't have plans, I'd really like to see you again."

"Yeah," he says, grinning like an idiot, "I'd like that too."

He's still staring off in the direction Roman went when his friends come to tell him that they may have gotten kicked out of another store.

3.

Prince Charming: I have another potentially rude question.

Virgil tries not to grin when he sees Roman's text. He knows better than that. Absolutely not.

He fails.

Me: what's up

Prince Charming: How far of a walk is too long of a walk before you need a break?

Me: walking is actually fine it's standing that makes me want to die

Me: i mean i'm not trying to hike a mountain

Prince Charming: No, I suppose that makes sense.

Me: why?

Prince Charming: One of my favorite things to do this time of year is go to the Tadford Park Conservatory. They have this really cool thing they do to get all festive and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? They have places to sit on the way and it's basically a greenhouse so we don't need to lug big heavy coats around.

Virgil quickly looks up 'Tadford Park Conservatory' and scrolls through the pictures of the plants and decorations. Honestly, it looks stunning. He's about to say as much when he gets another text,

Prince Charming: And I have a car so I could pick you up and we could drive.

Me: that sounds really amazing when do you want to go?

Prince Charming: Are you free tomorrow?

Me: sure am

Prince Charming: Can I pick you up at 9?

Me: absolutely see you then

Prince Charming: Perfect :)

Only after Virgil's put the phone down and gone back to what he was doing does he realize he has no idea whether this is supposed to be a date or not.

Is it? No, Roman would've said. Right? That seems like something you'd say. You'd be like: 'hey, I want to do this thing with you as a date.' Or 'hey, I want to take you out and I thought we could do this.' Something like that. Something that puts a big and flashy 'this is a date' sign on it. Roman didn't do that. And Roman seems like the person who would do that. Right? Maybe Virgil should ask. That was reasonable, to ask if something was a dare. But then what if Roman hadn't intended for it to be a date? Then it would get really awkward and Virgil would have to backtrack and then Roman might offer to make it a date out of pity and then it would be even more awkward and Virgil wouldn't actually get to enjoy anything they did because he'd be too busy thinking about how awkward it was and then it would be ruined and—

No. He's just gonna act like he's going to do something fun with a friend. He does that all the time.

Just so happens that Roman's Roman.

It's gonna be fine.

So fine.

He really is so fine—okay, that's enough of that.

He definitely stresses over what he's wearing for way too long before he gets a knock on his door and he just throws a coat over it before he can overthink it and goes to meet Roman. Roman opens his car door for him like he's really some prince that crawled out of a storybook and it doesn't even feel like he's doing it out of pity, like he'd do it even if Virgil didn't have a cane, which is another thing to fret about as Roman drives them to the conservatory. As they walk inside, Virgil goes fumbling for his wallet only for Roman to reveal that he's already gotten their tickets, scanning the code at the front and going over to the coat closet.

"How much do I owe you?"

"Oh, it's on me." Roman hangs up his coat and huffs a laugh when he sees the way Virgil's staring at him. "What's that for?"

"No, really, I saw those ticket prices, there's no way—"

"My mom has a membership, we basically got in for free. It's okay, honey, you don't have to worry about it."

Virgil mumbles something about pet names being unfair as Roman chuckles and they start walking toward the doors. A wave of warm air washes over them as they step through and Virgil's eyes widen as he looks around at the plants and decorations hanging from the ceiling. It's like he's stepped into some alternate reality, trees curling up and over him in a green ceiling as vibrant flowers bloom impossibly bright, catching the glistening light as the giant ornaments overhead twist and turn in the faint breeze. The faint smell of freshly watered plants mixes with the pine and gingerbread from the lobby as they start walking and he can't pay attention to where he's going because every few seconds, he sees something else incredible. Bright blue flowers. A tree with bark like peeling parchment. A crawling vine straight out of a fairytale book. Roman keeps him as much on the path and out of the crowd as possible and he can't even spare the attention to thank him.

"It's beautiful," he manages as they near another door, "it's so pretty, Roman."

"Yes, it is."

"If you're looking at me while you say that, I swear to God—" Roman pushes open another door and they start into a room filled with flowering trees— "holy shit."

Roman chuckles and guides them to a bench underneath one of them. "Do you want to sit for a second or keep going?"

"How close is the next bench after this one?"

"Two rooms down, I think."

"I can make it until there."

They walk through a room of twisting and turning jungle trees, ferns and other smaller plants hiding between the leaves. They pass a pond of koi fish swimming underneath a massive tree. The room with the bench has a long, clear pool in its center, flanked by paths through what look to be walls of moss and other ferns, a waterfall at the far end. Roman walks them carefully over one of the paths to a bench tucked into a little alcove, through which they can see the pool and the bright green foliage on the other side. Virgil sits down, still spellbound at the room.

"I'd ask if you were enjoying yourself," comes Roman's voice, "but I think I know the answer."

"It's like I've been transported to some fantasy realm, this is so cool. How have I never known this existed?"

"A lot of people don't come here. Which is good because I'm selfish and I really like when there's not a lot of crowds." Roman sits back, one leg slung over the other. "But—I don't know why. Maybe it's because they think plants are boring or something."

"They're fucking wrong."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I think so too. I'm glad you like it."

"Okay, it's my turn to ask a potentially rude question."

"Shoot."

"Why here? I mean, it's gorgeous, and the decorations really help, but it's not—a conservatory isn't really what I think of when I think of festive stuff."

Roman sighs. Ripples from the waterfall spread out along the pool's surface. "I don't know, really. I think it's just because holidays are really hectic for me and this place…never really feels like that. It's always sort of like this, calm, serene. Quiet. I think…I think I just really like that."

Virgil turns at the wistful note in Roman's voice, watching him send one of those soft smiles at the pool. The greenery around them almost seems to curve, like the petals of a flower around its center. Roman…fits here, like he really is some prince that even nature itself can't help but adore.

…fuck, he's so far gone.

He loses track of time as they sit there, just enjoying the still quiet of the room. The ferns have their own smell, soft and sweet, that mixes with the crisp dampness of the water as some misters turn on to water the plants. He holds his hand out in front of one, just for a second, watching the droplets catch on his hand and sparkle as he turns them in the light. Roman's side presses against his after a while and he finds himself lost slightly to the solid comfort of it. And then, well, then that's all he thinks about for a while.

At least until his stomach growls and ruins the moment.

"Come on," Roman chuckles, "the food's not far from here."

The cafe bustles with energy after being in that quiet room for so long, and Virgil quickly finds a table to sit at while Roman goes and gets the food. He does have to slightly threaten Roman into letting him pay for their lunch, but Roman concedes after a while and goes to stand in line. He pulls out his phone to send the few pictures he remembered to take to the group chat, when suddenly—

"Shame on you, young man!"

Virgil startles so badly that he almost drops his phone. He looks up to see a stern older woman glaring at him, hands on her hips. "Uh—"

"How dare you?" she says again, wagging her finger at him. "You go and find whoever you stole that from and give it back right this instant!"

"I don't—what—what are you talking about?"

"What do you mean, what am I talking about?" She points at his cane. "That does not belong to you! You're old enough to know better, especially to steal something like that, your parents would be so disappointed in you!"

Oh. Oh, fuck, it's one of these. Disgust and embarrassment crawl up his throat as a few people at the surrounding tables start to look over. He swallows. "Actually, that is mine."

The woman scoffs. "What do you think, I was born yesterday?"

"That is my cane," he says, voice a bit firmer. "I bought it with my money, I use it for my disability. I didn't steal it. It's my cane."

She looks him up and down over the rim of her glasses. "You? You expect me to believe a young person like you uses a cane? What on earth could you possibly need a cane for?"

And really, he should be used to it by now, he's had ableist assholes like this yelling at him for actual years, he shouldn't be this upset over it. But goddamnit, this day was going well. He was having a good time. And now someone is telling him his disability doesn't exist and he should be ashamed for using a mobility aid and he can feel his eyes starting to water even as he struggles for words.

"Excuse me."

Roman. He looks up to see Roman setting a tray with their food on the table, his hand coming to rest on Virgil's shoulder.

"Would you like to explain why you're bothering someone you don't know?"

The woman splutters. "I—well, I—"

"It is none of your business what someone else does to take care of themselves," Roman says, cutting her off firmly, "you do not get to make assumptions about someone else's life and act as though you know the truth. No one would be so rude as to insist you don't need glasses, would they?"

"People your age don't need canes!"

"And people your age should know to treat people better." Roman gives her a look that's so profoundly disappointed that he can see a few people wince in sympathy. "This time of year is supposed to be about sharing compassion and kindness. I hope for your sake you learn that this season."

He turns his back pointedly and the woman shuffles off without another word.

"Are you okay?" Roman asks, his voice so soft and worried that it almost gives Virgil whiplash. "I'm so sorry that happened."

"It's not your fault," he mumbles, "and…thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for being a decent person, honey."

"Yeah, well…" Roman's hand is still on his shoulder and he dares to lean into it a little. "Still. Thanks."

Roman still looks a little worried but he pushes Virgil's food towards him. "Here. Eat."

"Thanks."

Roman doesn't sit across from him. He sits next to him and after a moment, lets his leg rest against Virgil's. Virgil almost chokes on his sandwich but quickly shakes his head when Roman looks up, concerned.

"Is this alright?"

"Yeah, it's…more than alright." Virgil smiles. "You're really great, Roman."

Nice one, asshole.

"So are you." After a moment, his smile widens. "When we're finished, do you want to go see the desert room? There's a bench in there too."

"Cactuses?"

"I think it's technically cacti, but yes."

"Don't make me look up grammar while I'm eating."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

4.

Virgil gets another text the night before he's supposed to get lunch with Roman. He peers at his phone, sitting up from his horrible position on the couch.

Prince Charming: Hey, I'm sorry to do this so last minute, but my boss really wants me to come in in the morning tomorrow. I don't think I'll be able to come pick you up to go to the place.

Me: is there public that can get me there?

Prince Charming: You'd have to walk a fair ways and it's not like it's nice outside right now.

Virgil glances at the snowstorm outside and winces at the thought of all the ice. He's about to figure out a way to propose a rain check—or snow check—without upsetting either of them when his phone buzzes again.

Prince Charming: I mean, if it's not too much of an ask, I could always pick you up before I go into work and you could come with me? I don't think it'd be longer than a few hours at the most and then we could just go straight there afterwards.

Me: what do you mean come to work with you?

Prince Charming: I could pick you up and drive us both to the arena. There are the offices and stuff upstairs where you could sit and work or do something until I'm done then we could go?

Me: would your boss care that there's just some random person with you?

Prince Charming: You're not just some random person, Virgil. And no, he won't care.

Virgil's too caught up in the fact that Roman said he's not just some random person to really think about it when he sends back a 'yes,' nor did he really read the part where Roman mentioned an arena.

But sure enough, that's what they pull up to the next morning and Virgil's left blinking at the giant sign that says 'Stadium Entrance' as they get out of the car. He glances at Roman, who looks truly nonplussed as he leads the way to the door. He waves at the person at the front—Virgil waves too on instinct—and nods toward the elevator.

"I told them I was bringing someone, you can go on up and find somewhere to sit, if you want. I can come with too if you'd rather?"

"You, uh, you can go. I think I can find something."

"If anyone tries to give you shit, just say you're with me, okay?"

He huffs a laugh. "What, are you some kind of famous person?"

Roman laughs too, but it comes out a bit too forced. "Something like that."

And before he can ask what the fuck that means, Roman's walking off down another hallway and Virgil just shrugs and goes to find somewhere to sit. The elevator takes him up to something that looks almost like an office and he wanders into an open room, sitting down and shooting off a text to let Roman know where he is. He gets a quick acknowledgment and that he'll let him know when he's done. He switches over to the thing he'd been looking at in the car and loses himself quickly in the mindless scroll of the Internet.

He's not sure how much time passes before he glances around for an outlet to charge his phone. He drags a chair over to the corner and plugs in the charger, looking around as he waits for the little beep that lets him know it's working. There's a set of screens on the far wall, each showing a different camera, he presumes. One of them looks out at a loading dock, one of them shows a skating rink where someone's training, one of them shows another empty rink, and the last one has another door—probably a secondary exit of some kind. He shrugs and looks back at his phone.

"Excuse me?"

He looks up to see a man with glasses and a big coffee mug with cat whiskers peering through the door. "Uh, hi?"

"Are you supposed to be in here?"

"I, um, I'm with Roman? He said I could find somewhere up here to sit?"

"Oh, you must be Virgil!" Virgil blinks as the man grins and comes over to offer his hand. "I'm Patton, nice to meet you."

"Hi, Patton. Uh—you are? Sorry."

"No, it's fine, you're all good. I'm one of the event coordinators for the arena. Roman talks about you all the time, I was wondering if we'd ever get to meet you."

"Yeah, I, uh…nice to meet you too." Virgil shuffles a bit. "You, uh, have you worked with Roman for long?"

"Sort of—I don't work with Roman directly, but I see him when he's booked here. They've decided to train here this year, which is exciting, but he's so busy all the time." Patton grins, crossing his arms. "But I guess you know that, huh?"

"Yeah, I—wait, you—" he frowns. "What do you mean 'booked here?'"

"For a show or a competition or something." Patton leans down, muttering like they're sharing a secret. "Between you and me, I don't blame you for sitting up here. It gets cold in the rinks, doesn't it?"

"Sorry—can we go back another step?" Virgil shakes his head. "What do you mean, for a show or competition?"

Patton frowns. "For the season."

"What season? Season of what?"

He frowns for another second, before something like exasperation makes him sigh. "Did Roman tell you what he does?"

"No. Not even a little bit."

Patton sighs again and nods to the screens. "That's him, on the camera there."

Virgil turns to look. The only person on the screens is the one skating. Wait—

"That's Roman?"

"Roman Prince, reigning champion," Patton says, coming up behind him as Virgil stares at Roman training on the ice, "I'm not that surprised he didn't tell you, he's surprisingly private about his off-stage life."

Roman skates. Roman is a figure skater. Roman competes at a professional level as a skater. Roman is the fucking reigning champion?

He hears Patton say something about getting back to work but if he needs anything, let him know. He must respond—he hopes it wasn't too rude—but he's too focused on the way Roman is literally fucking dancing on the ice right now. He looks like he's at the Olympics. Shit, has Roman been to the Olympics? Why didn't Roman tell him he skates for a living? Why is he here while Roman is training? And what the fuck did Patton mean about Roman talking about him all the time?

He completely fucking forgets about his phone as he watches Roman skate. Every so often someone else skates up to him—his trainer, probably, even though Roman called him his boss. Shit, Roman really didn't want him to know about this, did he? Is he gonna be mad that Virgil's watching him?

He's really fucking good.

It feels like no time at all before Roman's disappearing from the frame and then he gets a text that he's almost done, coming up to find him, and Virgil's still staring at the screen trying to fit the pieces together that Roman's a professional skater who talks about him to the people he works with.

He doesn't quite manage that by the time Roman's pushing the door open with a breathless smile, his hair slightly messy, and his cheeks glowing from the exercise.

"Hey, sorry about that, but I'm all done, we can…"

He trails off when he notices Virgil staring at the screens, smile fading a bit.

"Right," he says, mostly to himself, "forgot about those."

"You, uh," Virgil mumbles, "so you skate?"

"Yeah. I skate."

There's a moment. Someone down the hall opens a door.

"I'm sure you have questions," Roman says finally, "but can I answer them in the car?"

"Yeah, sure."

Roman's quiet as they go back downstairs, waving to the front desk person again. They get in the car and start driving. Virgil bites his tongue for as long as he can before they finally stop at a red light and he musters his courage.

"Why didn't you tell me you skate?"

He hears Roman sigh. "I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you, it's just…I didn't know how you'd react."

"Did you think I wouldn't think it was a real job, or something?"

"What? No, no, I just—I didn't know if you watched skating or followed it at all or—or if you'd know who I am, or something like that." The light turns green and Roman turns onto the next road. "And then…well, it's not like I know what you do for a living either."

"I'm a systems engineer."

"Oh. That's cool."

"Thanks."

They drive for a few more minutes.

"Patton said you're quiet about your private life," he says, like an asshole, and he wants to take it back as soon as it comes out but Roman's already answering.

"Yeah, well, I'm not famous famous like some people are, but I'm…people know me. And it's not like I want people poking into what I do when I'm not being Roman Prince on the ice. Plus, especially with it being the holidays…" He trails off and sighs again. "Sorry, I don't want to bring the mood down."

"You're not bringing the mood down, you're just talking. You can tell me if you want to."

They stop at another red light and Roman looks at him. Really looks at him, like he's trying to figure out if Virgil's telling the truth. Which he is, he totally is, and he hopes Roman can see that. He must, or at least decide Virgil's not just asking to be nosy, because he looks away again.

"There are people who are into figure skating all year long and that's great, but they're, like, fans. And I love my fans, really, but I don't—sometimes it gets a bit much, you know?"

"Yeah."

"And then there are people who just like it for the holidays because it's 'festive.' Like, 'oh, let's go ice skating, it's Christmas,' or 'oh, let's go see a skating show because it's winter,' that sort of thing. And then they do it, and then it's done, and they go home and have their actual holidays together, and…"

Something terribly sad enters Roman's voice as they sit in the snow at the light, and Virgil suddenly has the image of a performer's smile fading as the lights go out. And it strikes him how terribly lonely what Roman's describing sounds, like he's just something people check off their lists and then move on with those they actually care about. And how much Patton seemed to understand that of course Roman didn't tell him what he did for a living.

"You want people to want to spend time with you for who you are," he says quietly, "not what you are."

"Yeah," Roman says back, equally soft, "that's it."

He looks down at his cane, spinning it in his hand. "I get that."

"I know you do." Roman reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder. "I really didn't mean to keep secrets."

"It's fine, I get it. But thank you for telling me."

The light turns green and they start driving again. The silence feels gentler, somehow, Roman even starts humming under his breath. It's that same song that was playing over the speakers when they first met at the park.

Wait a fucking second.

"You asked me to skate."

"Huh?"

"When we met, at the park, you offered to skate with me. Even though you skate for a living and someone might have recognized you."

"What was I supposed to do?" Roman sighs, but this time it's clear he's going for drama. "I was talking to this cute guy and my brain fell out of my ears."

"You—what?"

Roman glances over and chuckles. "You're getting all blushy again, you know."

"I—what—shut up!"

"Did Patton also say I talk about you all the time?"

"Maybe!"

"Well, there you go, cutie. Wha—hey, hey! I'm driving!"

"You'll fucking live, you absolute dick."

But Roman's laughing again and he looks so happy that Virgil can't be mad for very much longer. And, you know, he is driving, and he would like to make it to the restaurant in one piece.

"You're paying for lunch, you know."

"Whatever you say, cutie."

5.

"If you dragged me all the way out here for nothing, I swear to God—"

"We're almost there, I promise, I promise."

Virgil groans, slumping down in the car seat at Roman makes yet another turn. Roman texted him two hours ago asking if he was free and could they go somewhere really quickly, he promises it's worth it, and Virgil had been too caught up in the sappy floaty feeling of Roman's excitement to say no, and now here they are, driving who the fuck knows where, in the dark, up a path that barely has any lights.

"How do you even know we're not getting lost?"

"We're not lost, I know exactly where we are."

"So if I got out a paper map and said 'where are we,' you could point to it and you'd be right?"

"Well, I'd be more impressed that you had a paper map with this exact area that you could be accurate about—"

"What, you don't think I've got maps?"

"I'd never doubt your map capabilities, Virgil."

"You'd better not, the atlas my mom got me for fourth grade would be so disappointed at you when I throw it at your head."

"I'm sorry, you're the one throwing it and it's going to be disappointed at me?"

"Yeah, 'cause you did something so outrageous it's made me need to throw it."

Roman chuckles as he makes another turn—are they going up a hill or something? "My mistake. Really, we are almost there."

"Uh-huh."

"What, you don't believe me?"

"I believe you about as much as I did the last ten times you've said it."

"I have not said it ten times!"

"No, you've said it way more than ten times."

"Well, if you keep asking 'are we there yet,' I'm going to keep answering you."

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost."

"Are we there y—" Roman reaches over and pushes his shoulder lightly. "Okay, okay, I'll knock it off."

"Look, see that sign?"

Virgil sits up and peers through the windshield at the sign that reads 'Observation Point.' "Yeah."

"That's where we're going."

"Fine, fine, you're not a liar."

"Thank you."

Sure enough, it really is only a few more moments before Roman's pulling the car out onto a large flat overlook and putting it in park. Virgil looks around, trying to figure out what exactly they're doing all the way out here and why Roman was so insistent that they go tonight, when Roman turns the headlights off. "Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?"

"Relax, I'm keeping the heat on so we don't freeze." He nods out the window. "Look."

"I can't see shit, Roman, look at what?"

"Give your eyes a second to adjust."

He looks, truly not expecting to see anything. It's just blackness, the afterglow of the headlights still burning his retinas out. He squints. There are surprisingly few clouds out tonight, especially considering the winter weather they're supposed to get later this week. He can sort of see something through the gloom, below them, but it's not that clear yet. Slowly, little by little, his eyes adjust and…

"Oh," he says in a rush of breath.

The entire city sprawls out beneath them. Glittering and shimmering houses, buildings, Christmas lights and flashing decorations. The snow sparkles with it, the glow almost a sea of wonder against the inky blue night sky. Reds, greens, blues, purples, far-away inflatables that must be giant but look like nothing more than storybook characters from this high up. Some of the houses closest to them have trees, right out front, others have sleighs and reindeer, even more have snowmen just barely lit by the edges of the shining lights.

It's incredible.

"I didn't think I'd get a chance to see it this year," Roman says, as if he's afraid to break the silence, "but then it cleared up and I knew it'd be perfect."

Virgil can't say anything. He's too spellbound.

"Thank you for coming with me."

"Thank you for asking. This is—holy fuck, Roman, this is so fucking cool."

"I'm glad you like it. I was a bit worried with the roads, sometimes they don't clear them properly, but at least we can sit in the car instead of having to walk or something."

Maybe it's the fact that he's tired, or the surge of sappiness when Roman had said he'd known it'd be perfect and he'd reached out for Virgil, or maybe he's been holding this in since Roman held out that stupid hot chocolate. Whatever it is, Virgil sniffles.

"Whoa, hey, hey," Roman murmurs right away, reaching out for him like the stupidly perfect Prince Charming, "what's wrong, honey? Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Virgil spits through his stupid tears, "no, you did—you did everything right."

"O..kay?"

"You did everything right," he says again, "you—you made sure we could drive so we could just sit in the car and you picked me up so you could drive me instead of making me take the bus and you asked how much walking was too much walking and you stood up for me and you asked me if it was rude before you asked about my cane and you got me hot chocolate and you're—you're—"

An actual sob chokes out of his mouth and he claps a hand over it, only for Roman to let out a noise of dismay and coaxes his hand away, holding it tightly. He leans over the console and tenderly wipes away one of Virgil's tears and it's too soft and gentle and perfect—

"You did everything right," Virgil manages, not daring to look at Roman's concerned face, "you—you're too sweet."

Roman lets out the softest noise and strokes his cheek again. "You're worth being sweet to, honey."

"Shut up, you're gonna make me cry more."

"That's okay, honey, you can cry. That's—it's a good cry, right?"

"Yeah, you bastard, it's a good cry." He sniffles. "Now shut up."

"Can I shut up and hug you?"

"Yes."

And goddamnit, an awkward hug where Roman has to lean halfway out of his seat over the console to get his arms around him should not feel so warm and safe and comforting, but fuck it, Virgil's already crying into his shoulder anyway, he might as well fully commit to it. If Roman has a problem with contorting himself to hug a sobbing mess, he doesn't say anything about it. No, he just keeps humming and shushing Virgil with sweet nonsense, his hand alternating between carding through his hair and stroking his cheek. It's not fair, and Virgil's not giving it up for anything.

Eventually, his tears run dry and he scrubs his nose with his sleeve as Roman sits back down, keeping one hand on the back of his neck. Fingers play with the hair right above his collar. He sniffles.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, honey, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I just cried all over you."

"Oh no," Roman says dryly, "however will I survive such a terrible fate?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up."

Roman chuckles, fingers still scratching lightly at Virgil's scalp. "Really, Virgil, it's alright. I'm just glad I'm not the only one getting all sappy."

If he were less emotionally drained from crying, or if Roman's fingers were less good at making him melt into a boneless little puddle, he might have had a retort for that. Instead, he just looks out over the lights in all their sparkling glory and sighs, leaning into the touch. Roman starts humming again and there they sit, enjoying the night.

"If I fall asleep," he mumbles, "will you wake me up?"

"If you fall asleep, I'll drive you home and then wake you up so we can get you to bed."

"Fine."

He tries. He tries doggedly to stay awake, to not miss a moment of this, of the lights, the night, of Roman and his stupid Prince-Charming self. But he must fall asleep, or at least get close to it, because the fingers in his hair slow, and stop. Roman chuckles softly, and the car starts, and they drive through the night. And for a moment, as they leave behind the sea of lights, he thinks that Roman lied to him—they can't be in a car, just driving home.

Not when it feels like they're flying.

+1.

It's really a surprise that he managed to hold it back for this long, but it was eventually going to happen.

The swirling mist of a monster that is his anxiety has been biding its time, waiting for him to let his guard down to spring out and warp him up in its stupid fucking mess and make him stop appreciating everything that's going on and make it just the fucking worst.

Roman Prince is too perfect, it decides. There's no way this all gets to happen to him and there's no catch. The image of the hidden cameras and the reality show crew comes back; when do they jump out and say it's all fake? When is the illusion going to shatter?

Maybe he's just biding his time and trying to find a way to exit Virgil's life and never return. Maybe he has a partner, or something, and he really thinks Virgil's just his friend. Maybe he's not even gay. Maybe Virgil's just a fling and he's going to leave as soon as New Year's is over. Maybe he's going to get swept up in his life of professional figure skating again and Virgil will be stuck with chasing down his shows and competitions to even see him ever again. Maybe they're going to become the friends that aren't really friends but they still have each other's number for some reason.

Maybe—

"You're thinking too loudly," Roman murmurs from where his face is tucked near the crook of Virgil's shoulder, reaching out to pause the movie, "are you okay?"

Virgil sighs, leaning back into Roman's embrace. He'd surprised him by coming over—well, no, he'd texted to ask if Virgil would mind if he came over, but that was out of nowhere, so it counted—and then they'd ordered way too much food and put on a Christmas movie, and Virgil had pushed for The Nightmare Before Christmas and Roman hadn't protested. And then Roman had asked if he could cuddle him—"Because it's a crime to leave you sitting there on the couch, in the dark, like you have no one to cuddle you, honey."—and then he'd wrapped his arms around him and it'd been all warm and soft and cozy and Virgil hadn't wanted to move to get his hot chocolate from the coffee table that probably wasn't even hot anymore—

"You're still drifting." Roman sits up, pulling away. "Is everything okay?"

Virgil bites his lip. "It's dumb."

"I like dumb things."

"You'll laugh."

"Only if you say something funny."

"You'll be mad," he says in a very quiet voice, and he feels Roman stutter above him. He squeezes his eyes shut.

"Oh, honey," he hears distantly, before the couch is shifting under him and there are warm hands carefully cupping his face. "Will you look at me, please?"

He doesn't want to. He wants to stay here in the dark with Roman touching him like he's something precious, but then Roman's calling his name and fuck it, he can't disappoint Roman, so he opens his eyes. Roman smiles at him with that same fucking soft smile that's been taking him out at the knees since day one, and he can tell he's pouting before Roman even says anything.

"I'm not going to be mad," he says with all the patience in the world, "if something's bothering you, I want to know about it. Please, tell me?"

"You're not leaving, right?"

As soon as the words leave his mouth and Roman scrunches up his face in confusion, he wants to run away and hide under all his blankets and never speak to anyone again.

"Never mind. Forget it."

"What do you mean, am I leaving?"

"I said forget it. See? Dumb. Never mind."

"Don't do that," Roman chides gently, pulling his focus back, "don't hide from me. What did you mean?"

Virgil sighs, trying to not lose himself in how warm Roman's hands are. "It's just—everyone leaves. Sort of. I know—I mean I get it. I get how these things go. You—it's the holidays, right? You get all the emotions and then New Year's happens and you move on. I know that happens, I know that's how it works sometimes, and it's fine, I get it, but—"

"Slow down." He sits up. "Why do you think I'm leaving?"

Fuck it. "Because you're too perfect, okay? You—you're sweet and kind and you help me with everything and you're fun to be around and you're funny and you're smart and—and you're really fucking attractive, and I don't—" he takes a deep breath— "I don't know what to do about it anymore, okay?"

Roman's quiet. He's quiet for a long moment. Then his hands leave Virgil's face and he cringes, curling up in on himself—he's done it, he's made Roman leave, it's his fault, it's all his fault, they didn't even make it to New Year's—

His eyes fly open in shock when Roman suddenly hugs him tightly. His breath leaves him in a rush as Roman squeezes, holding him with such a fierce strength that he just ends up going limp in his hold.

"I don't know," Roman growls, "what sort of absolute assholes have been so cruel to you that you think everyone is just going to leave, but they'd better fucking hope we never meet."

"Wh—what?"

"You're fucking perfect too, Virgil. You're smart and you make me laugh and you're genuinely kind to people and you—you make me feel safe, okay?" He pulls back but somehow this is worse because now they're just staring into each other's eyes. "You're amazing. Why the hell would I want to leave you?"

"I—um—well—"

"I don't want to leave," Roman confesses, and fuck, Virgil can hear his heart breaking, "do…you don't want me to leave, do you?"

"No," he says in a rush, "no, I don't want you to leave."

"Great, 'cause I wanna be stuck with you until you're sick of me."

"I'm not gonna get sick of you—"

"Well, I'm not gonna get sick of you either—"

"Great!"

"Great!"

And then he's the one leaning forward to knock Roman over with a hug. Roman wraps his arms just as tightly around him and suddenly there's a kiss being pressed to his head.

Everything stops.

"Shit," Roman breathes, and it curls around his ear, "I…I meant to ask if that was okay before I did it, I'm sorry, I—"

But Virgil's already turned and pressed a kiss of his own to Roman's jaw. He feels more than hears Roman's breath stutter, the chest under him jumping as Roman turns to look at him. Like this, their faces are barely a few inches apart, and Roman smells like hot chocolate.

"It's okay," Virgil mumbles into their shared space, "it's…more than okay."

And there Roman goes, curling his mouth up into that fucking soft smile again, and then he's sliding a hand up to cup the back of Virgil's. "So I can kiss you?"

"Yes, you can kiss me."

Fuck, he tastes like hot chocolate too.

"I'm not leaving," Roman whispers against his lips, not bothering to pull away, "I'm not leaving you, baby."

"Fuck."

"No good?"

"Very good," Virgil mumbles, leaning forward again, but then his phone is buzzing and he's pulling back with a curse to make it shut the fuck up. Roman comes up and wraps his arms around him again, hands slowly playing with the hem of his sweater as his chin hooks over his shoulder. "I'm almost done, I promise."

"Am I 'Prince Charming' in your phone?"

"No," Virgil says, like a liar as he throws his phone onto the floor.

"Aww, that's so cute, baby."

"Shut up and kiss me, Princey."

"As you wish," Roman murmurs, and then Virgil doesn't have a chance to think about the fact that he just called Roman 'Princey.'

They don't end up finishing the movie, but Roman says they can watch the rest over breakfast instead.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[sound0ut]

Nine people I’d like to get to know better

I’ve never done a post like this before, so be gentle, y’all. Thanks for the tag, @augustjustice!

Last song I listened to:

All My Exes Live In Vortexes by Rosie Tucker. Highly recommended if you need a way to vent your existential angst about living in the Anthropocene.

Currently watching/reading:

Currently watching season 2 of The Bear. I know I’m late to this one but as someone who used to work in a kitchen and had some of the most stressful days of her life there, it took me a while to feel ready. It’s really well-done, both in terms of writing and acting, but jfc it’s triggering for me sometimes.

Currently reading a bunch of stuff, as always, but what I’ll mention is that I’m in the midst of a reread of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, one of the texts I tend to return to when I need a kick in the pants, creatively. Current favorite piece of wisdom from Gilbert (or Seamus Heaney via Gilbert) is this:

“A particularly elegant commentary on this instinct [trust in your creativity] came from Nobel laureate Seamus Heaney, who said that—when one is learning how to write poetry—one should not expect it to be immediately good. The aspiring poet is constantly lowering a bucket only halfway down a well, coming up time and again with nothing but empty air. The frustration is immense. But you must keep doing it, anyway” (148).

Sweet/savory/spicy?: Depends on my mood, but probably savory.

Relationship status: Happily married bi bb ✌️

Current obsessions: I tend to be a person of varied and rotating obsessions, including: finding the perfect early 80s tunes as the soundtrack for my current podfic project, Monster Theory scholarship (ask me about my personal theory about yonic imagery and the gates/monstrous mouths in ST), adding miles to my long ride, getting better at Travis picking, improving my voice acting/narration, writing my silly little stories (and never sharing them b/c 😱).

I have few mutuals on here and have talked to even fewer folks, so apologies if this is out of the blue, but @chaoskiro, @wynnyfryd, @cuips-not-cute, @onirislanding, @teddywesworl, @geddyqueer, @hullomoon, @n0connections, @xiaq I would love to learn more about you if you feel moved to share :) Or from anyone else for that matter, if you want to connect!

[quotessharry]

Welcome to New York (DR3 one shot)

I am very keen on writing for Danny as you can see so here is it :D

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x original female character

Word count: 5803

warning: none

Synopsis: Daniel lands in New York for redbull's car launch and meets his best friend but the lines kept getting blurred

She impatiently paced the JFC airport, waiting for Daniel to show up. She missed him dearly, they haven’t seen each other since the Austin GP that she travelled for.

On the other hand Daniel’s heart was bursting out of his chest at the thought of seeing his best friend after months, he would’ve go to her much sooner if he didn’t intend to spend time in Australia as much as he did but they tried their best to keep in contact and it created a never ending cycle of Daniel calling her at midnight when it was only noon in Australia, then apologizing rapidly and saying he’d call another time but she knew he is calling to show her his talent in dirt bike or riding a horse and how could she deny the smile shinier than the sun behind him? They’d end up speaking until 2-3 AM and finally she’d excuse herself to get few hours of sleep before work.

Daniel was bouncy like a child to finally reunite with his best friend, he started waving his hand like crazy as soon as he saw her small figure in layers of wintry clothes due to how cold New York was. She noticed his action and smiled, waving back.

As soon as they stood in front of each other, without exchanging any words they embraced each other, his large hands fitted her comfortably as she struggled to hug all of him with her short arms. both unknowingly being touch starved. Daniel looked at her face, staring at her deep blue eyes and smiling wide “hey there, you look even smaller in these clothes” Daniel took pride in the fact that he was the only one who was allowed to tease her about it and wouldn’t waste a moment to take the privilege for granted.

She slapped his hand away from her shoulder and spoke “really Daniel? You see the greatest friend the world has gave you after months and this is how you treat her?”

He knew she wasn’t deeply offended “then what does the greatest friend the world has gave me, wants me to say to satisfy her?” He said with a laugh

“Oh I don’t know how about I’ve missed you so much and I can’t wait to spend time in your company?” She said, pretending she is thinking too deep.

Daniel laughed louder and pulled her into a tighter hug “I have missed you so much and I indeed can’t wait to spend time in your company, pun intended”

Her laugh was muffled by her face pressed against him, despite the fact that he hated cold he was always warm “no way I’m taking you to the company, it’s not bring your child to work day or something”

They started walking to take his bags as he talked “what? So you just gonna leave me unsupervised? That’s brutal”

Her hand slid down from gripping his arm to his wrist, fingers wrapped around his skin and she took him with her “come, we gonna be late for lunch”

They were finally in safety of the car from the rain and brutal wind, she settled back and waited for him to start the car, enjoying the warmth her hoodie and oversized coat was providing her.

“What are you waiting for, Daniel? Start the car” she said, after sitting there aimlessly.

Daniel pouted “you didn’t say it back”

She looked puzzled “say back what-? Oh I’m so sorry I thought it was pretty obvious how much I’ve missed you considering I drove all the way from Tribeca to Queens all by myself to see your pretty ass” she said the whole line pretty seriously.

Daniel was trying to hide the smile but failed and soon his face was adorned with his dimples “aw that’s why you’re the best” and he drove away. She told him the car is all his and he did use the opportunity, he played with the radio button until he found a channel playing those country western songs he loved and he made sure to sing along to every single one of them even though he just got off a 21 hour flight.

Both of them let out a sigh out of relief when they sat back on red leather sofa in restaurant, waiting for food to arrive. The rain was hitting the window and made them feel cozier in the space they were in. They didn’t know what to say so they just stared at each other, both feeling blessed that they got to stare at a beautiful human being in front of them. Daniel broke the silence, corner of his lips almost forming a smirk “so which hotel am I driving myself?” She yawned before replying “oh shut up you’re not staying in a hotel, I cleaned up a room for you. No way I’m letting you out of my sight”

That was her way of showing emotions and Daniel loved how indirect but genuine it always was, she would never bother to use pet names and sweet words but instead would do it with actions no matter how small or big.

“I mean we’re going to the same place at the end of the day aren’t we?” She said, shrugging her shoulders.

“What? You’ll be at car launch?”

“Yeah? They’re announcing me as new sponsor so I might as well come”

That’s how they met, she was an sponsor in his Redbull days and as he kept attending events they grew closer, they got close enough that she followed Daniel in every team he went and after a long circle they both ended up where they started.

Daniel had plenty of calls from Christian and Blake asking him to go to the hotel but he refused all of it, he didn’t want to mess up his stay with her after months. Staying with her felt warm and cozy, almost like he was back in his farm in Australia and he wouldn’t trade it with a repetitive hotel room with cold bed.

She unlocked the door and they both got in, Daniel headed for the windows to see the spectacular Tribeca view “rich lifestyle looks good on you” he teased, his face half facing her as he kept his eyes on the view of the skyline and the buildings ahead. She threw herself on the sofa, legs dangling above the floor so she wouldn’t get dirt on it, face hidden between the cushions as she spoke “rich lifestyle? Says the guy with 3 houses in three different continents, who owns 7 cars and got paid millions”

Daniel briefly turned his head to look at her, only to find her hidden in her extremely over sized winter clothes on the sofa with her head being the most obvious thing, his gaze was soon back to the view but he continued speaking “yeah need I remind you, you bought this house from Lewis for what, like $70 millions?”

With her head still buried, she showed him a middle finger “touché”

He saw her reaction through the reflection on the window and laughed, a loud genuine laugh that echoed through the empty house and made her feel better, it’s been a while since she heard him laughing as nice in her presence and she smiled to herself at the fact that he just seemed better and healthier. She left her spot and walked to him, slapping his ass to get his attention causing him to yelp “I didn’t know you have it bad for spanking”

“If i were you I’d be thankful I have it bad for spanking and not choking” she said, raising eyebrows and waited for him until the realization settled on his face “savage”

“I know Daniel, I know. Why don’t I show you your room and while you’re settling down I’ll think of dinner?” She offered, putting a hand on his lower back as she started guiding him to the elevator.

It was late, neither troubled themselves by checking the clock and they couldn’t careless. She carried two wine glasses and laid back on the bigger sofa, she heard footsteps on the stairs and soon Daniel came into the view with nothing but underwear and the burgundy silk robe she ordered for him with “DR3” sewed on its chest, he put two wine bottles on the table and filled both glasses, the sound of the glasses making contact broke the silence but neither said anything until she drank it, humming in approval “this is nice but I prefer my wine a bit more sour, this tastes a bit too sweet for me” she observed, and finished the glass nonetheless.

“So you wouldn’t mind if I take away both bottles?” Daniel teased and slurped his wine, eyes not leaving her figure. Even under the low lights it wasn’t too hard for him to notice her dark green sleepwear. Deep down he considered himself the luckiest for witnessing her sleeping on her back in nothing but a thin dark green silk that if the lights were on, he’d be seeing much more due to the sheer materia. He also knew he doesn’t need bright light to know she looks hella good in it and he’d have trouble to convince himself that he should be keeping his hands off from trying to get a small taste. He threw his tattooed leg over the other and didn’t take his eyes off her, it would be a crime to do it.

She held herself on her elbow and looked at him, frowning while actively tried to balance the wine glass so it wouldn’t spill on her flawless white sofa “what? No bitch those are mine they stay until one bottle is completely empty”

He laughed while taking more sips, cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand as his eyes tried to regain focus in darkness, god he missed her so much “whatever you say your highness, you know you can order more if you want right? You were there when we launched it for US” he made a valid point and pointed at the bottles on the table.

Her eyes briefly drifted to his thighs and the colored ink but she didn’t let it linger. She’d never admit it in a presence of another human being but it was her deepest desire to sit between his legs and get a close detailed look of the inks and ask him one by one what does every single one of them means, for now she’d settle with a view in the dark. She narrowed her eyes, hoping he’d see “now why would I do that when my best friend can get me a bottle filled with eternal love and friendship?”

Daniel didn’t bother to tie back his robe as it was loosen due to him constantly sinking deeper into the sofa “ just accept that you’re too stingy to pay”

She sat straight and poured herself another glass, before drinking she spared him a glance “sei incredibile” and gulped down the entire thing.

Daniel couldn’t say much but to laugh again at her.

The glass was filled again and she leaned back, letting her hair to fall on her bare shoulders “you know it’s nice”

“What is?” He asked innocently, Daniel knew the answer, he just wanted to hear her say it, he wanted something exclusive from her for himself to hold on to, something to let his mind to linger on when he had nothing to think about.

She laughed softly, shaking her head at him “you gonna make me say it, aren’t you?” and then she looked him as if the darkness had no effect on her eyes and she could see all of him, with a smile that he could see even if all the lights were off. He knew he’d do anything and everything to relive this moment over and over again.

She put the glass on the table and tangled her legs, her hand supporting her head “fine I will, it’s really nice to have you over here, satisfied?”

He smiled widely at her, the corner of his eyes crinkled “very, very satisfied”

He pointed at the loose robe “was the robe part of the plan? Be honest you just wanted to see all of this glory” he pointed at himself and his abs.

She was indeed enjoying the view, Daniel was one of the most good looking guy in her life, she had seen him all naked considering the multiple times they’ve shared a hotel room or went skinny dipping, but there was something in seeing him sitting in front of her, wine glass in his hand and a teasing smile on those perfect lips while half of his tattoo was hidden by his underwear and he sculpted body was only visible cause the robe was loose, it kept her guessing and asking for more but only in her mind.

“I could only hope you’re enjoying all of this glory as well” she threw back his line at him, the wine in her system making her not to care how much she’d flirt.

He sipped more of his wine, it felt good to finally drink in a presence of someone he deeply craved, and he wasn’t committed to the sport before so alcohol couldn’t really hurt. Through the low light he could see the perfect skin of her legs and hands, bare shoulders hidden underneath an army of long hair, no trace of makeup could be seen on her face, he knew she only appears like that in front of him and him only. She’d never say it loud but he also knew it’s because she feels a deep insecurity towards her face even though he would definitely say she is the most beautiful woman his eyes had the pleasure of seeing, he tilted his head to the side and kept looking at her “you” he said, laughing silently.

“Me?” She asked, slightly confused by his one word statement.

He laid his head on the sofa and blinked, the wine starting to make its affect obvious “yes, you. Just you. I don’t think anything else can do you justice”

It was only then that he noticed something else, wine wasn’t the drink she’d go to when the purpose was getting drunk, unless she wanted to stay drunk more than usual, the empty wine bottle makes his suspicious even more evident and he started to think something was wrong that she was actively ignoring.

“I think I’m going to bed now, sleep well Daniel” she said, before he gets the chance to ask something.

He rubbed his eyes and blinked rapidly “hey, hey wait” he called out before she gets into the elevator.

She stopped in her truck and turned around, watching him taking long steps towards her. He stopped and looked her down, eyes searching to see if he can find anything in those icy blue eyes, his hands resting on his sides. He subconsciously brought up his hand to put it on her face but changed his mind the last minute and pulled back, closing his fist. She didn’t miss any of this, her eyes fixed on his hand “you know, I don’t bite. Not you at least” she murmured, gulping loudly.

He stepped closer, his knuckles ghosting over her cheek “are you well?”

It was a simple question but with no simple answer for her, she blinked up at him, placing her hand on his bicep “I’m ok Danny”

He placed the palm of his hand on her face, she already loved the warmth and softness it gave her and she leaned into the touch much to his surprise. He traced the skin with her thumb and his face dropped lower, he noticed the strap of her nightgown fell and he reached with two fingers grabbing the strap and dragging it back on her shoulder, his fingers leaving goosebumps behind, he talked quietly “but I can tell something is wrong, it’s me, I’m not an stranger” he dared himself and put his other hand on her waist while dragging the hand resting on her cheek to her neck. She closed her eyes to fully enjoy his touch and long finger, letting herself to get lost in the warmth. Her reaction made him ballsy and he pulled her closer, his hand running up and down her side, feeling her hot skin through her nightgown. She hummed in response and didn’t move, not wanting the moment to end.

His hand moved from the side of her neck to grip the back of her head, his fingers digging into the muscle and kneading it, giving her a much needed release, he moved his hand higher and tangled her hair, she immediately leaned back into the touch. The sound that left her mouth hits him too hard and his grip tightened, he leaned down and pressed his forehead against her, closing his eyes to enjoy their closeness “talk to me, please, I’m worried about you”

She smiled at his words, it’s been a long time since someone has said words like that to her, the sweetness and feelings behind those words had her stomach dropping and tears gathering at the corner of her eyes, she put her hand on his face, feeling the roughness of his beard, his actions had her heart racing like crazy.

She nuzzled her nose to him “this is all about you, my issues doesn’t matter. I’m...I’m fine” she tried so hard to keep her voice steady but failed miserably. His eyes opened immediately at her broken voice and he decided not to push it more. They both looked at each other, his heart shattered in his chest at the sight of her blue eyes filled with tears. In all the years of their friendship he has never seen her as broken as now, not even when he was having the shittiest day ever she was the one who held him, made jokes and played music to lift him up. She accepted the hug with no hesitation, her hands wrapped around him as tight as she could and hands gripping the soft material of his robe harshly, her face hiding in his neck.

He softly kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms securely around her, keeping her as close as possible and felt her rapid heartbeat.

“It’s ok, you can let it go, I’m here” he murmured to her as softly as possible.

She felt like she has kept it all inside for too long and she finally had the chance to let it all go.

In that moment Daniel would do anything for her to stop sobbing uncontrollably, the sound of her was so heartbreaking for him to endure. He just stood there and held her in his arms, rubbing her back and saying he is always there for her and it’s ok while leaving small kisses wherever he could reach. They don’t know how long they stood there and she cried in his arms, he only let go when her body stopped shaking and he no longer could hear her heart wrenching sobs.

She looked up at him with teary eyes and wet face, his thumb wiped away the tears and both smiled at each other.

“Come, let’s wash your face and tuck you in” he said with a smiling face, booping her nose and throwing his hand over her shoulder as she smiled sheepishly.

The pair only got a good look at each other when he flicked the light on. They both stood in front of the mirror and she stared at their reflection, taking in how good they looked and more importantly how much healthier and happier Daniel was and it warmed her heart.

He moved behind her and gathered her hair, humming a song under his breath.

“You look good” she said, smiling at him.

He peaked from behind her “aw thanks, you look good too”

“This is going to look so weird but a man gotta do what he gotta do” he said before wrapping her entire hair around his fist causing her to laugh loud.

“I didn’t know you’re into that” she didn’t get the chance to say anything else as he pushed her head down by his fist and splashed cold water on her face.

“Oh you were saying?” He said staring at her wet face, she looked like a fish.

“Literally fuck you Daniel that was cold” she gritted between her teeth and grabbed the towel. “I know, but don’t you feel better already?” He tried to make a point.

“I’d much prefer warm water in winter” she opened a cabinet, grabbing hand cream and lip balm.

Daniel tried to be a good friend and not to stare at her when she stood in front of him, wearing the thinnest material of sleep gown she could find not to mention how well the color looked on her skin, he could swore if his eyes goes down lower than her neck, the things he would see gonna keep him all night with his hand dipped in his underwear.

He stood in front of her, his hands keeping her face straight so he could look at her “seriously, how are we feeling? And don’t tell me fine”

“I’m better now, satisfied?” She said, not wanting to look away from his handsome face.

He left a kiss on her forehead, lingering his lips before speaking “that’s good to know”

She reached and grabbed the lip balm, opening the tube and applying some to her fingertips “don’t you moisturize those pretty lips of yours Danny?”

The sentence made his brain glitch, and a blush made it’s way on his sun kissed cheeks, the thought that she found his lips pretty danced in his mind ruthlessly.

She laughed at his face as she touched his cheek “Danny? Oh my god, did I just make the great Daniel Ricciardo blush? What a day to be alive”

“Oh shut up you, you don’t see me making comments about you in this thing you’re wearing, what are you gonna do anyway” he scolded her, arms folded in front of his chest.

She raised her eyebrows, challenging him with the ice in her eyes “maybe you should” She stepped closer “stay still”

“What? No”

“Why no?”

“I’m a grown man I can apply my own lip balm”

“If you could, your lips wouldn’t look like you just escaped Sahara desert, it’s midnight cmon it’s just a lip balm it won’t hurt your fragile masculinity” this time she scolded him.

Daniel didn’t know how he was gonna get through her touching his lips but he shook his head as yes. She stood on her tiptoes and ran her finger on his chapped lips, he just stood there and reveled in her soft finger touching his lips ever so delicately.

“Look it’s over, you can go to sleep now”

“Yeah let’s tuck you in first”

He wasn’t joking about tucking her in, he helped her to get on bed, pulled the blanket over her body and made her promise if she ever felt like she isn’t ok in the middle of the night, she’d go to his room without a second thought.

Daniel was never happier about seeing a bed and being alone in a bedroom as much as he was in that moment. How was he supposed to get over tonight?

Her head was comfortably between two pillows and she was enjoying the warmth of the blanket until her phone ranged under her pillow, she whined and reached her hand to pick the phone, answering it with closed eyes “what the fuck do you want so early in the morning?”

“Early? Girl it’s 10 am and you were supposed to be here 2 hours ago” a male voice who belonged to her assistant spoke

She face palmed herself “what? Oh god sorry I was a bit wine drunk last night and-“

“And you forgot to tell me you won’t be coming in today cause you have guest over” he finished the sentence for her

“Well yes” she admitted

“I figured, enjoy your day and tomorrow, and weekend. I wouldn’t say no if you decide to show up though” he said, while laughing

“You dick, figure it out yourself, I don’t know forge my signature” she suggested

“That’s what I’ve been doing but I feel better now knowing you allow it, enjoy” and the line went quiet.

She got out of the bed, not caring enough about bed hair and went down stairs.

Daniel was in the hall, still in his underwear and a big box in front of him, he turned to her with his usual smile “hello pretty, good morning, slept well?”

She blinked multiple times at the pet name but brushed it off fast “morning, what’s that?”

He happily brought out a dark blue RedBull shirt “2023 team kit, I gave your address and it came in this morning”

She made her way to the kitchen to make breakfast “that’s why you’re standing naked in my hall at 10 am?” She threw him a look, letting her eyes enjoy the glory in front of her.

“Naked? You plan all of this to get me naked?” His hand teasingly moved to his underwear waistband and grabbed it with his two fingers, carefully sliding one side down and showing his hip bone.

She just watched with dry mouth and heart rate so loud she could hear it in her ear.

She opened her mouth to speak but the silence was broken by her Apple Watch giving high heart rate notifications, she slammed her hand over the watch trying to shut the alarm and screamed “fuck fuck fuck”

Daniel watched it all with an amusement in his eyes and a knowing smirk telling her it’s useless to try and make any excuses “I assume if I proceeded with the rest you’d have a cardiac arrest”

She silenced the watch and looked at him, not knowing what to do or say and went back to the breakfast.

She put the plates on the table “it’s too hot now, let it cool down then we can eat together” and made her way into the hall, standing next to him and peaking into the box.

Daniel didn’t miss the chance to enjoy the close approximate, she ruffled through the box and picked a hat. He breathed deep, she smelled natural without any odor, his eyes followed the lines on her neck and it stopped on her shoulder, watching the way the green strap fell from her shoulder. She took away her eyes from the box and glanced at the strap, then at his face, he felt her eyes on him but didn’t stop looking at the shoulder.

“What’s stopping you?” She commented, hinting last night.

He put his hand on her wrist, fingers dragging on her soft skin, he felt like he was dancing around something but didn’t stop until he felt the silk. He hooked his finger on the strap and made sure to tease a little before pulling it up “I really should buy you some new ones” he commented.

She let out a breath she kept and hoped to god it was not obvious, secretly wishing her watch wouldn’t make another fuss “come on, the pancakes are getting cold”

He bullied her into sitting on the chair, creating the scene in movies where someone would constantly change clothes and another one would give opinions sitting on a chair. Daniel was fresh out of the shower, hair sticking to his head and water dripping as he held two pairs of suits for his appearance on tonight’s show. One was the typical black tux and the other one was a green suit with a simple white buttoned up shirt.

She looked at both pairs thoughtfully, and pointed to the green one quietly.

“Fantastico madam, enchanté” he bowed.

“So you gonna watch me get naked and dress up or-?” He mentioned her presence in his room, then it strikes him that there’s a walk in closet “ok you know what, never mind”

He went inside and she waited, but not too long after he ran out, shirt undone and green pants on “I’m gonna look like an olive, let’s do the classic black one please”

She smiled and walked to him, smoothing the shirt with her hands “you will not look like an olive, now let me handle the rest” next she started to button up the shirt, her roaming eyes not missing the custom made 3 necklace she got him from his favorite designer matched with a chain but she kept the comment to herself.

He looked at her, holding back the urge to kiss her lips. He leaned down, lips hovering over her cheeks and he left a peck, causing her to look at look up at him with a smile.

Soon, he was fully ready and he looked as delicious as an olive. Lucious curls wild around his head that made her wanna run her hands through it and play with curls while comfortably sitting on his thighs but she put the idea behind “I might rent an ambulance and send it behind you cause all the ladies gonna swoon and drool” she complimented him, taking his hand so he can spin.

Currently they were running around the house trying to make it on time to the launch.

“I don’t understand why a car launch must be so early in the morning, what was wrong with 3 pm or something” she whined, untangling her hair cause she didn’t like the brain.

Daniel hurriedly slipped into a Redbull shirt “yeah I’ll make sure to bring that to Christian’s attention” the truth was they both overslept.

“Come on we should go, Max arrived at 7 AM” Daniel noted, already at the door waiting for her

“For christ’s sake he is just a fan boy, I love my sleep” she picked her bag “ok choose a car”

“Choose? It doesn’t matter we should go” Daniel urged her to pick one

“Daniel no this is important, we can pick something with driver like a Cadillac, something classic like Mustang or shelby cobra, or we can just get a good old BMW” she thoughtfully gave him a speech, but he reached and picked the BMW keys, both finally heading out.

She mostly stood backstage, watching Daniel jumping around and smiling so hard that his jaw must be hurting. She had no way to explain how good it felt to see him happy instead of pain and misery, a feeling settled at the pit of her stomach anytime she’d glance and see his smile reaching his eyes.

He walked backstage, quietly laughing to himself, he felt like he can’t contain himself due to how well he felt. He stood in front of her but neither said a word.

She placed her hands on his cheeks, feeling the stubbles, alooking at him smiling with bright eyes. She didn’t think twice, she stood on her tiptoes and pecked his lips, it was a light kiss just for the sake of feeling something.

She blinked “nah that wasn’t enough” this time she did it more delicately, making sure their lips are completely connecting. His lips tasted like the Redbull they had before the show.

He embraced the kiss wholeheartedly, a moan left her throat but neither broke the kiss, he saw an opening and his tongue entered her mouth, exploring every corner, lips nipping and biting shamelessly. He enjoyed every second of their lips connected but they finally separated. Neither truly wanted to end it, they stayed close and brushed their lips one last time, breathing each other’s air. She didn’t know why she did it but that was the best kiss she ever had.

Daniel dared to say he had never seen her as red as she was in that moment, lips swollen from kiss and he had to physically restrain himself from kissing her pretty lips again. but he knew it wasn’t the right moment to make a joke so he just pulled her into his chest, hugging her, she heard the loud thumping of his heart beating against his ribcage but didn’t make a comment about it.

“I kinda don’t know what to say right now” she said, confused.

He touched the back of her head, letting his hand to massage her scalp “you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to”

Before she says anything else, he was called again on stage “we uh talk about it later?”

“Yes, if you want to” he smiled to show her that it’s all good.

After the kiss he didn’t expect her to hang around but she stood even when he had to record a podcast. She picked a chair and placed it behind the equipments, smiling and waving anytime he’d catch his eyes.

They were about to leave when Christian found them “we’re having a dinner at the hotel tonight, I’m expecting both of you, no excuses”

She gave him a salut “yes captain, roger that” and laughed.

“I really missed you two, see you at dinner”

They didn’t have time to go home and change so they went straight to the Hard Rock hotel. The restaurant only included Redbull staffs, between sea of people and tables it wasn’t hard to find the two remaining empty chairs for them.

Daniel being the gentleman, pulled back the chair until she was settled in, his act cause the table to clap and cheer his name, Max slapped his back “nice one mate”.

Drinks were put in front of them and soon both flew in the conversation as if they were part of the family and no one made them feel otherwise.

It was close to midnight when she excused herself and went outside for a smoke, getting a fresh air have never felt better.

“I thought you quit” Daniel’s voice said from behind her.

“I thought I did too but don’t knock it till you’ve tried it boy” she teased, poking the cigarette. He threw his arm around her, tucking her in his embrace and resting his head on her hair “are we ok, Danny?” She asked, trying to get herself closer to his heat.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” He asked, playing it cool.

“Well you know, the kiss and stuffs”

He left a kiss on her temple, rubbing her hands to warm her “yes of course we are”

“It was such a damn good kiss though wasn’t it?” She scoffed

“Now that you brought it up, I can’t be opposed to that”

“We should do it more often”

“Now that you brought this up, I absolutely can’t be opposed to that, and next time I'm making it nasty.

I loved this one so much! Now I’m stuck if I should do another chapter and make it smutty or just leave it at that?

[nerdnag]

The time has come for me to finish my philosophy bachelor's.

...Lots of ramble below. I mostly just need to get my thoughts out, but there is a plan by the end!

For those of you who were around in May, you may recall that I struggled a lot to get a sort-of-presentable draft ready for my supervisor, hoping to be able to hand the thing in before the end of the semester, and was then completely slammed down into the dirt by said supervisor when he returned the draft a few days later with... pretty strong words about it. Few of which were positive. I couldn't bring myself to read the comments he'd left in the actual document at the time, because the email was enough to bring me to tears.

Yeah.

I mean, he wasn't wrong, it was just a bit shocking to have him go from "hey, how's it going for you, the thesis treating you well? oh and here's a link to a fun video i found on the internet" one day to almost-kinda-petty critique the next. And also, I am wholly unused to disappointing teachers, supervisors, mentors or superiors of any kind. That may sound strange considering my ADHD, which should in theory have gotten me in lots of situations like that, but my entire life, I've usually managed to make use of three things that have helped immensely to get things done well and on time: 1) special interests/obsessions/hyperfocus, 2) perfectionism and performance anxiety, and 3) high IQ. Number one has helped with motivation and creative flow; number 2 has helped motivate me through shame; and number 3 has helped me "bullshit" my way through assignments/relatively easily create a coherent and acceptable final product without doing all of the actual work I should have done (...and also making the actual work I do put in a pretty good quality).

But for some reason, these tactics didn't quite work out this time. I could come up with many different ideas about why this was, but one really important part of it was probably the fact that I've been heavily overloaded with work at my job and still haven't fully recovered from the immense stress I was under from March 2022-June 2023. I might not be able to recover from that period of my life without doing some pretty extreme changes in how I live my life, and although I've been working on trying to make some of those changes over the course of the first half of this year, it hasn't been impactful enough yet.

And so in the middle of this, of trying to recover from a backlog of both work and stress, while still being under quite a lot of stress at work (although not even remotely compared to how it was a year ago), I was also trying to write a bachelor's thesis in my spare time.

Oh, and did I mention I also took on a volunteer position in my spare time from April onwards that has demanded quite a lot of time?

(Jfc why do I do this to myself. ...Because it's fun and I am bad at saying no. That's why.)

Anyway, enough rambling about what's happened and the reasons for it - long story short, I realised I wouldn't be able to finish the thesis in time, and so I told my supervisor I'd hand it in by the end of the summer instead. And wouldn't you know it, the end of summer is closing in. :)

So with the help of my partner, I managed to finally open the document containing my supervisor's comments, and rather than lose myself in complete and utter anxiety and horror over the words, we could sort of laugh over how unnecessarily harsh he was being. (I guess my supervisor actually was a bit disappointed, since he'd seen before that I was more capable than that. I don't blame him.) I also realised that it wasn't quite as bad as I had imagined, and that my life isn't actually over and done for. So yeah. (He even had a couple of positive comments for me, actually.)

Then we made a plan for how to tackle this thing. I'm going away on the 22nd of July, so the goal right now is to have a finished draft to send to my supervisor on the 21st. Then he can read it, give comments, tell me whether he gives his approval or not, and after I've made any necessary adjustments, I can hand in an opposition version by the middle of August. Since I am currently on vacation, and I do need to actually try to wind down from work as well, I've settled on working on my thesis for 3 hours each day, starting tomorrow (the 13th), and my deadline each day is noon. If I realise after this Sunday that I need more time, I'll increase it to 4 hours every day.

It should work. I know what I need to do, and my supervisor's comments are clear. I enjoy writing and doing research and I will finish this in a way that I'm proud and happy about.

So there. That's my promise to myself. I'll climb out of this hole, fill it in with new dirt, and then start building the collapsed tower of blocks up again.

[fuchsschatten]

oooof...

obviously Aoi was in a rough spot so it was good and right to not leave her alone, but the fact that Makoto just completely forgot about his date and didn't even think to write him that he'll be by later or smth and then the fact he even saw their embrace without context hurts so much T-T

And that Aois mum was actually planning to see her but then turned around so it's kind of a misunderstanding makes me angry too bc jfc it's been 10 years woman!!! how much longer do you want to wait if you did care all this time?!?!

Also - Ryuji is way too nice....I'm glad they met up a day later and are having a good time together but still....it must hurt him so much, even though he treasures their friendship just as much as his romantic feelings so i don't think he thinks it less at all (especially since it took him a while to realize and accept in the first place) but still....i just want all three of them to be happy somehow idk

maybe neither of them gets together with makoto but they can just be besties forever - so ofc i loved that they went together to star watch, but then the cinema moment between Makoto and Ryuji tore my heart apart...

nothing about your feelings is disgusting and don't say that Makoto was disgusted just bc you didn't kiss or were comfortable to hug closely etc, that's not it at all T-T

and smiling all the while saying this bc he wouldn't want to make him sad by seeing him sad i just- this isn't fair

[captawesomesauce]

For the asks, 15, 24, 45!

15 Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Huh…. you know… I don't. In fact, I don't think I have ever had a house plant in my entire life. Mom had outdoor plants, Sally had a little herb garden, and that was it. It's never really been a thing for us.

Are you a good driver?

The simple answer is yes.

When I was learning to drive, I only went out with an instructor 3 times and then took my test. He said after the 3rd time, I was ready. Of course, the first time we drove together, we almost died… so… ya know.. there's that.

My truck was an old 87 S-10, so about 10 years old, and over 100k miles on it. It was an old work truck and had been beaten up hard. So I'm driving it for the first time with the instructor, and we're doing about 45-50 approaching a T intersection with a lot of cross traffic. The problem is that when I went to press on the brake, the accellerator sunk to the floor and wouldn't come up! It was STUCK down and we were speeding up faster and faster and the intersection was getting closer and closer! I tried to dislodge it with my toe, I put all of my weight on the brakes, and even the instructor tried reaching down to grab it with his hand, but there just wasn't enough time to really do anything!!!

I ended up going wide right and yanking the wheel left, through the red light, and missing everyone coming crossways!!! Tires screeching and truck shaking the whole way!

As soon a we were going straight, he had got the pedal free and all he said was "Good job, and make a right at the next light." Totally fucking calm about it.. and that's what I did.

Next time we went out we worked on parking and the final time was freeway driving. After that I took the test lol.

But I still hate driving, absolutely despise it. Short distances, long distances… major hate. I always have. I never even wanted to get my license, but that wasn't an option lol.

I've driven a lot of different things over the years… a big Chevy 3500 crew cab, an old 87 and later 2003 Chevy S-10, a corvette for a while… but I love my Murano. I love the warning/safety systems, the radar cruise control, the radar side warnings, the automatic braking… but most of all I LOVE THE 4 WAY CAMERAS!!!!!

JFC, I'll never buy a car without them again. They make parking and driving so much easier.

When W and I first met, one of the things that made her feel really comfortable with me is that I drove safely and while not slow-as-fuck, I'm not big on going too high over the speed limit. The rule of never go faster than you're willing to pay for always rings true! lol. So I go with the flow, get there when I get there, and tend to not be too risky with the suicide lefts we have here in SoCal. I don't mind waiting for the next light, and if I can't merge in time, I am ok with exiting later if I have to. It is what it is.

Do you have good handwriting?

BWAHAHAHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA OH FUCK HAHAHWHAWAHAHHAHWAAAAAAAAA

That's a good one.

I'm dysgraphic! I can barely write at all!!!

Holding a pen/pencil, even the special ones for people like me, causes intense pain in my hand and arm and headaches like you wouldn't believe.

For those who have never heard of dysgraphia, it's the little unknown brother to dyslexia. Dyslexic's have trouble reading, we have trouble writing and with fine motor skills.

In my case, I have to spend every bit of energy I have just willing my hands to create the letters, one by one. In school, back in the day, and before I was diagnosed, I would spend so much effort writing the first few words of a sentence, that I would lose my train of thought, or lose my place in the thought so that you have the start of one sentence, and the end of a sentence way later in what should have been a paragraph. My letters rarely are uniform in size/shape, often mixing capitals and lower case for what ever is easier to write, and of course the biggest issue is that I don't actually control my hands like y'all do. They LITERALLY have a mind of their own. I want to write an E… maybe I'll get a Q. Why? No idea.. hand wrote a Q.

So yeah, it's a bitch!

It was made worse by the fact that my mother was a legal secretary and believed good penmanship was CRUCIAL to success in life. Oof. She made me practice and practice and practice… I still have a callous on my finger from it. All it did was make me hurt like hell. Hand pain, arm pain, headaches… she just said keep writing!

That … wasn't fun at all.

In fact, it wasn't until I started college that I was diagnosed! I even went back to my HS teachers and asked them why didn't they say anything and they all said the same thing, "We thought you knew!!!"

Well, I didn't. lol But that's why I gravitated toward computers so much as a child and could type over 100wpm at an early age.

But yeah, no… my handwriting is atrocious and if you ever saw my signature, you'd laugh.

Thanks @southcarolinagoddess for the questions!