#jester wife and funny wife mention

[glitchyk]

opinion on your wives?

I don’t know how my dumbass managed to get these two goddesses to tolerate my presence-

But really, I love them both, as friends or not, their both fun and goofy, but they are also serious at times, their both genuinely fun to talk to, they have fucking amazing art and great storytelling— xhuxkdlslld I could go on a whole rant about them but I knowww it would be too mucchhhh

[mafia-kay]

YES

YES THE GAYS ARE BECOMING A THING IN THE MAFAI AU

YESSSSSS

[[Lmao @rabid-mercenary16 @unfunnyaceartist look how psyched these people are for us to be officially gay lol]]

[glitchyk]

What I’m getting my wives for when I meet them irl

[homunculus-argument]

"Maybe magic, maybe mundane" is one of my favourite tropes, especially when it's featured in something where magic could plausibly exist.

One book idea that I had that is currently only a pile of haphazard notes features a character only known as The Queen's Mute - or simply "the mute" for short - who is exactly what it says on the tin: the queen's personal jester, who does not speak. He is also ambiguously human. An eerie, elfin creature who seems to find it funny when people are puzzled by him.

Besides being completely silent, he has an uncanny skill in copying how people hold themselves and move. Gait, posture, the expressions they make, he could just be standing completely still doing nothing, and it's still obvious whether he's standing like the king or the head cook. If you've seen the subject once, you'll know who he's impersonating. He's quick to spot every opportunity to insult someone by doing so - like spotting a nobleman who isn't faithful to his wife and following after him across the room in the exact same gait that his mistress walks in. The king once remarks that he can't understand how the hell someone who can't speak can have so many rude things to say.

The protagonist was sent to spy on the queen, and the mute is almost always with her - making no sound, not even footsteps, but making himself seen, and seeing and hearing everything. One never hears him come or go, he is just suddenly there, sitting on the floor, waiting to see who's the first person to glance down and get startled out of their mind because people don't just pop out of nowhere like that. Being fond of climbing furniture as well, he might also be sitting on top of a shelf.

Though the protagonist first assumes that he is somewhere close to her own age - somewhere in his late teens - and the narration refers to him as "boy" more often than "man", the queen corrects her. He is just as grown now as he was when she first brought him with her, and though she doesn't know his exact age, she knows he is older than she is herself.

The king - despite of being the mute's favourite subject of vicious mockery - tolerates him for some reason. Despite of being aware that the relationship between the queen and the jester is romantic as well as sexual in nature. Their marriage is as loveless as political arranged marriages get, so he finds it preferable to let the queen keep her mute if his taunting antics and his unsettling way of just appearing into places at least keep other men away.

The queen occasionally mentions things that she wasn't supposed to know - and couldn't have known - just to let the protagonist know that she knows more about what's going on than what she lets on. When the protagonist fails to hide her shock and asks the queen how she knew, the queen explains that the mute told it to her. The protagonist assumes this to be a joke, her way of saying "none of your business", since obviously the mute doesn't talk.

But he does talk. Only to the queen, only when absolutely no other soul is there to hear it. And as a plot twist on the last third of the book, it turns out that besides knowing how to move like other people, the mute is a frighteningly good vocal mimic. He can copy the queen's voice perfectly, which they have often used for her advantage. Looking back to every scene where the queen was heard but not seen - behind a curtain or a dressing screen, talking through a door, or just overheard singing to herself in the garden - there is no telling whether the protagonist was actually talking with the queen, or if she had that whole conversation with the mute. This would explain at least one incident where the queen was supposed to be in one place but somehow shows up somewhere else.

The protagonist never figures out what the mute's whole deal is. She never finds a satisfying answer despite of the queen clearly telling her that he is just as much a human of flesh and blood as either of them. The queen often sounds like she's lying when she's telling the truth, as she is now. The mute is completely, entirely human, just somewhat autistic and trans.

[carnival-beetle]

Down with the Monarchy [Past Event]

TW: Murder, mentions of abuse, graphic depictions of violence, blood Winds howled outside as a storm slowly brewed. The royal family, consisting of a king and queen alongside their three children, two girls and one older boy, were safe and sound within their respective sleeping chambers. Although the king was alone tonight, his wife, the queen, was off in a different nation trying to form some sort of alliance with them, leaving the king alone and asleep in their shared chamber. Bare feet silently shuffled against the hallway towards the king and queen's chamber, a young male demon with two sets of horns was making his way there, a large butcher's knife clutched tightly within his left hand. The kingdom's jester stood outside of the chamber doors, a blank expression dressing his deformed and scarred up face, scars that he sustained from his king's cruel hand. He still remembers the burning sensation as someone in the crowd suggested the use of acids as a "punishment for not being funny enough". His blood boiled, his forehead began to throb with rage. He wanted to storm into the room, swinging and slashing his knife wildly, but he didn't. He placed the knife down and got onto his knees, using his claws to unlock the doors ever so silently.

The jester grabbed his knife once more before he slowly pushed open one of the doors, slipping himself inside. The king's bedroom was beautifully decorated with reds and golds and lion motifs. Jester hated it, he hated it so much. He hated the KING so much. The throbbing in his head only grew more and more as he approached the king's sleeping form. An old man the king was, graying hair and wrinkles scattered across his pale skin. Jester wanted nothing more than to see that face splattered in blood. And that's exactly what he was going to get. He jumped onto the bed, startling the elderly demon awake. He tried to scream, but Jester was faster and brought the knife down with one strong swing, plunging it deeper into the king's chest without a second thought. A gurgled cry escaped the king as he began to thrash around which seemed to anger Jester more. The orangish-pink demon pulled the knife out, stabbing the king in the chest over and over again until several large wounds opened up, slowly spreading downwards across his whole chest. Blood was gushing out from every wound Jester delivered, exactly how he wanted. He pulled the knife back and grabbed the dying king's hair. With a hard yank, he pulled the king's head forward and plunged the knife directly into the top of his head. Blood spurted outwards, dripping down the king's forehead and decorating his pale complexion. Jester dropped the king back down to the bed, moving himself off. His eyes were wide, pupils slit, there was no emotion to his face. The dead king lie dead, wrapped up in his silk sheets and found in the early morning by his wife and two guards when she had returned home. But Jester was nowhere to be found.

[ask-missparker]

The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing | Wandavision 60s blurb 📞

Pairings: Wanda x Vision, Nikolai x Amelia, Marlene x Melissa

Extra characters mentioned: Agnes, Herb, Ji-Hoon, Norm

Summary: A nice day in WestView isn’t it, neighbor? Just a nice day for a talent show in the park.

Click here to read them in the 50s episode

———

“Why are we doing this again?” He yelled from across the room.

“Because it is our neighborhood duty to participate.” She called back.

“And who’s brilliant idea was that?”

“Yours!”

“WAS I DRUNK WHEN I SUGGESTED THAT?”

She looked up with doe eyes shaking her head and said, “No. You were your normal amount of drunk when you came and suggested it.”

“Oh.” He repiled looking surprised for a moment and turned back on track, “Well I’m not going.”

As he turned on his heels, she yelled, “They are serving free drinks and well made sandwiches.”

He stopped his tracks, amused by the latest news and began walking backwards, “What I meant to say was I’m not going without a quick shower to fresh up.”

She smiled and winked at the camera with a shrug. She crossed her eyes, “How about we did a little dance at the talent show tonight as well?”

He yelled from that bathroom, “Only if you wear that sassy little number that make your eyes pop and fit you in all the right places!”

“Now you sound like yourself.”

“Wouldn’t be if I wasn’t!”

“And it’s for the children.”

“We already got one, who needs more?”

“Niky!”

“I love you too!”

~~~~

At the town meeting, Nikolai was sitting down near the round table stuffing his face with a donut half listening to what Ji-Hoon saying as Marlene muttered his ear to share the food.

Herb was talking about the Jesters new playground in the front yard and how they should all invest in their lawns looking just as good.

That’s when Vision walked in standing all awkward and said, “I’ll just stay here and be as quiet as a church mouse.”

Nikolai yelped pulling up a chair, “Nonsense man, come sit! More the merrier. Maybe you can make the place more interesting. Uh, no offense Norm.”

He muttered, “None taken.”

Marlene snorted at the comment, handing Vision a box of doughnuts in which Nikolai stole from his grasp.

She rolled her eyes instead passing around sandwiches and said, “You’ll love them. My wife made ‘em this morning.”

Vision kindly denied, “Oh no thank you. I don’t eat food.”

“Uh what?”

“..uhh what I meant to say is that I don’t eat food inbetween meals, but at meal time. I’m a regular eating machine.”

“Well more for-“ Ji-Hoon exclaimed about to put them a little to-go box for later but Marlene slapped his hand away, “-ow!”

“No more! Then you won’t be able to fit into your pants later.” Marlene respones scowled at him then turning back to Vision, “Would you like a stick of gum instead?”

Norm was about to say ‘is gum even food’ but one glare from Marlene shut the man up. Vision shrugged saying it couldn’t hurt and took a stick of gum from Herb which made him act kinda funny. They all assumed it was the flavor must’ve been different to his taste buds.

Nikolai and Herb smirked saying it would be great to have a game of horseshoe out back. Vision nodded excited which had Marlene and the others holding back their laughter.

~~~

The ladies however had an interest time at Dottie’s house. Amelia arrived somewhat easily carrying Milo in her arms as the the puppy playing patty cake with Geraldine. She thanked the women for keeping her company as they waited for the others. The girl said it was her pleasure to do so, she wasn’t sure why she came in the first place because she thought it would be more fun. Melissa arrived just in time, saying that her and her wife were having some exact fun that morning.

Both girls laughed.

Dottie looked around counting head and raised an eyebrow, “Uh Amelia right?”

“Hm?” She asked.

“Uh I don’t remember saying dogs could come.”

Melissa smirks as she added, “And I don’t remember you saying that florals were on the list today. I guess we’re both disappointed.”

Dottie looks down at her loud floral dress, flowers rounding her tables set up and the floral curtains. She groaned and walked away as if she was fuming. Melissa smirked to herself as Geraldine and Amelia giggled, they liked florals but this was overkill. Agnes, Wanda and the other ladies finally joined in. Her puppy was being treated well by the staff members there, which made her smile.

Dottie was discussing the incident and plans for today, reminded them that this whole show was for the children. In which the other ladies repeated in unison.

“Did I walk into a cult or something...” Marlene muttered to herself as Amelia snorted.

That earned a little smile from her other friends. Agnes was just drinking meanwhile Wanda was biting down on a cookie that she forgot what was happening.

She removed the cookie from her mouth to clap and repeat along, “For the children.”

Afterwards some ladies went to get ready for the show, but Amelia, Melissa and Wanda stayed behind to help clean up with Dottie.

“Thank you for helping us clean up today, we feel so lucky.” Wanda said with a smile, picking up plates.

“You are.” Dottie responded with a fake ass smile.

Melissa muttered, “I should’ve ran out when I had the chance.”

“You and me both.” Added Amelia with a smile.

The four of them wanted to correct the situation, trying to avoid any confusion and become friendly. Everything was going fine. Melissa was fixing fix up a few napkins hearing the girls speak when the radio started to turn into an oddly specific voice asking ‘Can you hear me, Wanda? Who’s doing this to you girls?’

Dottie got concerned asking who they are, in pure curiosity and shock the glass in her hand shattered as the radio returned back to normal. But she was bleeding a daring red as Amelia rushed over with some napkins to clear that mess up. Dottie was looking between both girls in confusion and slight embarrassment then calmly smiling like a perfectly good housewife should. Wanda stood there with no words coming out of her mouth as Melissa tried to defuse the situation.

“How do you know this much?” Dottie asked.

Amelia smiled, “Well, when your married for so long and had mishaps..you know when to stay calm..”

“Good. I’ll take care of this.”

“But you sure?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Dottie just walked away leaving the girls and Wanda to themselves wondering how uptight and strange the blonde could be. Amelia rushed over to see is the redhead was okay as Wanda nodded saying she was fine, having to get ready for the show.

———-

The show at the park was in full swing, as couples were in their fun acts. Marlene and her wife, Melissa, did a little balancing act for the whole crowd. Everyone clapped and cheered for their performance.

Ji-Hoon was hosting the show talent show dressed in his trademark suit, as Amelia and Nikolai were up next doing their best dance routine yet. The two dance Jailhouse Rock on the stage, doing swings, kicks and twirls. Their footwork was excellent in their eyes, having the whole stage be their dance floor.

They finished off the dance with Nikolai dipping Amelia’s head with a classic grin and wink to the audience. She giggled and smiled across the crowd as they clapped loving their performance.

It didn’t matter if they won, they could all tell the couple had way too much fun. But winning would be nice of course.

The two raced off the stage watching Wanda and Vision getting ready. Amelia noticed that Vision looked like he was drunk, as she muttered if Nikolai had of them drink during their meeting. He just put a finger to his lips chuckled, when in reality he had no idea what happened to Vision.

But they got their answer once Wanda and Vision were performing on stage. It was honestly hilarious on their own magic act how silly Vision was out of the loop meanwhile Wanda was playfully showcasing their tricks.

Some of the crowd was confused, others were laughing meanwhile the whole time everyone was entertained piecing together the magic up.

Suddenly Vision walked off the stage and yelled, “Stand up, Shebert! Say hello to the crowd.”

Herbert stood up awkwardly, “Actually it’s Herbert..”

“Pipe down Sherbie and pick a card!”

Vision was fumbling around with his words, instructing Herbert to do as told. Afterward the tall blonde shuffled the cards then flipping one out with a confident expression.

“Is this your card?”

“Uh no.”

“I beg to differ.”

“No.”

“R-really?”

He threw the card over his shoulder and went to pick another one, as Hebert kept telling him, ‘no’. Vision made a grumping noise flipping across the card rapidly in front of the other man’s face repeatedly asking the same question.

All the cards went flying around the park until Vision held up the last one in frustration asking, “Is this your card?”

Herbert smiled, “It is!”

“It is what?!”

“It’s my card.”

Vision scoffed exclaiming, “Well pardon me, Herbert, have it back!” As he shoved the card onto his chest scrambling away and onto the stage saying he did the trick right. The crowd clapped and laughed.

Vision went on and on with tricks running around the stage like a maniac trying to get a hold of himself but failing. Marlene snorted as Melissa laughed. Poor Wanda had to deal with all of her husband’s mishap, covering it up with fake magic to go ahead his real magic act. Soon enough it was over.

Everyone clapped and cheered at their performance, as Ji-Hoon and Dottie called up all the acts to the stage for hand out awards. Everyone got a little ribbons or small trophies, but the real winner was Wanda and Vision. 

All that mattered is that everyone had fun!

——————

Marlene took Melissa on a walk along the park afterwards then home for a special little treat of their own. All Amelia knew that Melissa was blushing after something her wife said in her ear before they left, Nikolai snorted loudly knowing those two were gonna have fun. He decided to take his wife home where he was greeted by their growing puppy Milo was leaping into his lap the moment he sat down on the couch.

“Sometimes I think you love that little mutt more than me.” Amelia joked putting their small trophy on the coffee table before taking a seat beside them.

Nikolai was kissing Milo’s face who was licking and curling up against him ignoring his wife’s jokes as he smirked. That was tall tale sign that she was right about that. He then pressed a kiss to her face as she tried to scurry away.

“You got dog slobber on you!” She yelled giggling.

“Really?! Can you remove it?” He shouted jokingly, picking up Milo who licked her cheeks as well.

“Ahh! You boys will be the death of me!”

“Take it back!”

“No!”

Nikolai and Milo were attacking Amelia with kisses and doggie breath, as laughter and yelling echoed the room.

The two heard a small rumbling sound coming from outside the house, pausing to look outside the window to see thunder and lightning coming. Nikolai’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment sensing something in the air, as Amelia stayed curious onto the sudden weather conditions.

Which meant a short stormy night for them, but a cozy one. As the pair looked at one around their respective features gleamed in the only bright lights of the living room.

The room temperature dropped then rising again for a moment as a wave of shifting sparkles washed over their home. The streets started to brighten up in brighter shades as well.

Every single house was turning into actual color. It felt completely natural and refreshing to the eyes of everyone in town.

~~~~

Instead of black and white, they were all in color now.

~~~~~~~

————

—————

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this addition to wonderful world of WandaVision. Anything you liked? Let me know 🎶

Tags: @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @meiramel @gcthvile @rickb-chaos @gaminggirlsstuff @wizzzardofoz @thechoooooosenone @luna-d-marsh @rooster-84 @thecavalrywife @cherrysft and etc

[glitchyk]

The fact that @onimusha095 gave one character I have a title with ‘Paladin’ in it now makes me wanna laugh at this. Or like for my character it’s all.

Someone to @unfunnyaceartist: “Why does your child look be try similar to Kay/Rabid/Kay and Rabid?”

Ace, not ready to admit that she is a very gay princess: “Uh- Um- uh— SORCERY.”

Kay, just standing there unamused, meanwhile @rabid-mercenary16 would probably watch, and laugh when it’s over, but only when it’s over

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

[unlicensedmortician]

bad movies with j&j: divergent part two electric boogaloo.

- they have multiple personality traits. which means they are the worst people ever.

- i can’t even go “this is such obvious propaganda how is anyone falling for it” bc ive been on twitter recently

- oh girl that haircut is really bad

- that haircut is “this is the first time i’m asking for a masc haircut and the hairdresser my mom took me to just goes with fuckass pixie cut” bad

- “only a divergent can open this box” be so fucking for real. what are you talking about. it’s a magic box? that only a divergent can open? because they’re so special? because they’re acoustic? what are you saying

- hey . what? “i need to kill jeanine” didn’t a large chunk of the plot of the last movie revolve around how tris doesn’t want to kill people. what’s happening

- “tris you can’t just go around killing people”

- caleb. shut up

- “hey how do these people know you? why are they looking for you?” “:)” hey king that’s not? an answer?

- this man’s mother looks like. 28. he looks older than her. what the fuck

- she and tris look the same age?

- four looks like he’s 36. he looks like he has a mortgage. he looks like he doesn’t pay child support. his mother looks 29 at MOST

- THE ACTRESS WAS IN HER FORTIES IN THIS MOVIE?? GIRL WHAT IS UR SKINCARE ROUTINE!!

- tris rocking up in a forever 21 ass outfit

- hey caleb are you wearing a white tshirt a denim flannel and a suit jacket made by carhartt?

- ah yes the ya dystopian female lead uniform: extremely fitted utility vest with 25% of ur back exposed and nothing underneath

- christina girl what was she supposed to do

- “i’ve been assuming all divergents are the same” and you’re supposed to be the smartest bitch alive?

- oh i wonder who could be the most specialist special one of them all

- “sometimes i think i see lights out beyond the wall” wow that’s crazy girl

- jester said she runs like a sim and they’re right oh my god

- i can’t tell if i keep zoning out or if this movie just makes no sense

- this fucking guy again?

- summary execution. average good guy behavior

- wow she’s 100% divergent? she’s who they’ve been looking for? that’s fucking crazy. who could have seen this coming.

- oh shit girl you fucking kilt him

- is this nonbinary representation

- girl how did you get a full beat and a blowout in this economy

- can’t get over how much jeanine looks like a pastors wife

- yeah ok that was a pretty effective way to send a message. also, what the fuck

- i feel like. this whole divergent problem could be solved if you just didn’t mention that they exist and let them pick a faction and stick to it. like they would probably just do that.

- please don’t make me watch them bone on screen i can’t do it

- oh yep she’s turning herself in. thought so

- i feel like most people would be pretty willing to try to stop innocent people from being forced to kill themselves no matter what their dominant personality trait is but ok

- peter is kinda serving cunt tho

- “it’s ok u can kill him if you want we have plenty of guards” “… WHAT” ok. that was funny

- damn they acupunctured her

- i love watching actors do a muscle up that engages absolutely none of their muscles

- unfortunately i just think these trial sims are kinda dumb as hell and i don’t really care that much

- standing in the shower really normally tris

- this movie is almost completely relying on tris being a pretty skinny blonde white girl in order for you to care about what’s happening

- this is giving me a migraine

- tris you look really stupid unfortunately

- hello?? is she fucking dead??? there’s a whole other movie with her in it ??

- also like. what the fuck is in the box

- imagine if it’s just like. a piece of paper that says “i fucked ur mom”

- ok slay go off peter. i guess. sure.

- he’s the realest bitch here

- tris vs tris with an even worse haircut somehow

- honestly couldn’t tell you what happened in that last simulation

- plot twist! the entire base concept of this worldbuilding is fake and made up and contrived!

- so she’s the savior of humanity? with that haircut?

- yeah that’s p average dictator behavior

- do you guys think the milf is gonna end up being the new dictator

- and there’s a whole other movie after this ¿? this sort of feels like. the conclusion.

- she’s soooooo special. oh my god. what ever

- oh fours mom shot jeanine. ok

final thoughts: hm? huh? what? this has to be one of the stupidest things i’ve ever seen. sorry to everyone who was really into this in 2014 i will not be changing my opinion. how do i get @ghostcasket back for showing this to me i genuinely can’t think of anything

[bedoballoons]

What medieval/royalty roles would you give to your anons?

Oooo good question! (Also not sure if these are all the same person, but the Christmas present version of this I am in fact saving for December <3)

Im also gonna add a bit of fantasy in here too!

Fairy anon: Starting right off the bat with fairy anon being a fairy of course! It's not only fitting name wise but she just truly has the perfect vibes for it!

Mushroom anon: They would definitely be a mushroom person, a adorable very small (and I mean mushrooms are bigger than them kinda small) person with a cute little mushroom hat and a sketchbook to write/draw about the mushrooms they grow!

Sleepy anon: Sleepy anon would be a royal guard! Might snooze off a little here and there but the second there's any trouble they are right there to help save everyone! They also like to sneak away when they have a break to sketch fish in the river!

Starstruck anon: A astrologist! They are searching the stars for answers and figuring out the things that make the world go around. Commissioned by royalty often to see out prophecies, although they themselves look to find love!

Bananon: I feel like bananon would be a sweet maiden, they find life hard sometimes but also see beauty where others don't. They wish to find someone who understands their point of view, romantic or simply friends! Definitely talks to animals too!

Donut cat: A black cat who actually brings luck to others! (Random I know but hear me out) They constantly appear when others need a laugh, causing a fun ruckus or just finding ways to make people smile! Good friends with the maiden too <3

Princess: Clearly a princess! But truthfully a kind ruler, wants the best for her people and has alot she wants to say as well. She likes to have fun and flirt alittle with her royal guard 😉 A magical person all around though!

Fox anon: A traveling adventurer! They appear every so often with gifts and stories to share! They are always mentioning the wonderful people they met on their journeys and always make the people who listen wish to adventure too!

Ramen anon: The royal chef, doesn't always know exactly what he's doing but he tries. He loves his beautiful wife and spoils her the best he can with the royal spoils he receives as payment. Hopes one day to learn the most delicious recipes so he can get more payment and buy his wife the perfect home to live in.

Pancake anon: The royal jester! Full of jokes and super funny, but when royalty isn't looking they are just adorable! They give treats to little kids and also attempt to make everyone laugh! Sweet and funny!

(Goodness I hope I remembered everyone this time 😭)

Also...isn't this technically writing headcanons about my anons...

[glitchyk]

@unfunnyaceartist @rabid-mercenary15

Clover has something for youuuu

[glitchyk]

Why in the flying fuck does this not have more attention—

This is how I see myself with my wives, y’all/hj

And aside from the gayness—

FUCK YEAH I WANT A SWORD

But it will be made from the iron within the blood of my slain enemies, I know it would take a lot of people to kill to get that much blood (I know the exact amount… ssshhhh I got bored), but… I am willing to wait

enough with this whole "oOh i wAnNa mArRy a rIcH gUy OoH i WaNt tO bUy a MaNsIoN aNd hAvE a PeRsOnAl mAiD"

I WANT A SWORD.

I WANT A FULL, BULKY SUIT OF ARMOR.

I WANT TO BE THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD, SERVING THE ROYAL FAMILY.

I WISH TO SLAY THINE ENEMIES, MOUNTING THEIR HEAD AS I EARN MY VICTORY.

I WISH TO RIDE HORSES INTO BATTLE.

I WISH TO COME FROM ACROSS THE KINGDOM TO SERVE MY HOUSE UPON THE QUEENS HAND.

I WANT TO KNEEL BEFORE HER AS SHE KNIGHTS ME AND EARNS ME THE TITLE "SIR".

[ithinkabouttzu]

Hi!! Can I have a BoB ship?

I’m pale, sort of auburn-blonde, green grey eyed, 5’6” and fairly slender but with big boobs and hips.

I'm very passionate, always smiling, empathetic, sarcastic, smart, and easy going. I hide behind my humor so people can’t get too close, and I overcompensate my shyness by talking to everyone, so no one believes I really am. I’m riddled with anxiety and massively self critical and can be stubborn and proud. But I try to always put others first, and I like to challenge myself. I’m fiercely loyal once I let someone get close to me. I’m a nurse, and I’ve been told that instead of being like “work wife,” I’m “work jester” because I just go around trying to make everyone laugh.

I love animals, especially dogs (I have 9, plus 1 geriatric cat and 8 chickens). I also love learning about anything and everything; I spend a lot of free time listening to lectures or watching documentaries. I’m an avid traveler and reader. Music is very important to me, and I listen to just about every genre from every era. Drawing and painting are my catharsis, but I love doing anything creative.

Thanks in advance! 🦊

Thank you for your request sweetheart!!

and you gotta hear me out ok this but

I ship you with…

Denver “Bull” Randleman!

- Okay so let me say how ENAMORED this boy is first upon meeting you, like man thinks you’re GORG

- HAS to come up to you and introduce himself, and that’s when his southern hospitality really comes to play LOL

- Has millions of pet names he calls you (darling, princess, sweetheart, pumpkin, honey, doll) Be ready because he can get CREATIVE with names 🤣

- He thinks your smile is SO pretty and tries so hard to see it whenever he can 🥹

- He loves how outgoing and funny you are! When you guys first met, you showed that side of yourself to him and he couldn’t get enough LOL

- Always tries to see more than your funny jokes and (even though he loves them), he knows it’s just a defense mechanism and wants to see that genuine side of you.

- but don’t forget how *obsessed* he is with your body and curves, like if you wear tight fitted tops or pants he cannot keep his hands to himself

- Sometimes he can tell when you get shy or nervous and will make sure to talk to everyone with you!

- He also loves how loyal and passionate you are, He knows you keep the people you love close to you and he admires that so much.

-He also knows if you want something you’ll try your best to go for it! He sees that fieriness in you and loves it!!

- He hates when you start to be hard on yourself and always reminds you it’s normal to not be perfect in everything you do (even though you are perfect to him 🤭)

- Literally breaks his heart when he sees you get nervous or when he can tell when your anxiety acts up.

-he always tries to talk you through it (if you let him ofc) or if you guys just want to get away to take your mind off of whatever it is, he’s ready!

- Both of you are MAJOR animal lovers and i could def see you guys having a whole farm of animals ( like loves ALL 9 of your dogs once he meets them) Also those chickens 🤣

- Saturday nights are definitely movie nights where you guys watch all of your favorite documentaries. bull isn’t as much of a fan as you are but he still enjoys it (cause he’s with you ofc 🤭)

- and whenever you guys have free time, oh boy, he’s planning all these cool places you guys can look at and go to. Both of you are ambitious to explore together and make memories with each other 😩

- I can see you and bull just winding down together and listening to music (he definitely sings all of the romantic songs to you 🥹) There’s definitely songs that remind him of you and whenever he hears them he just stops and smiles like omg

- Also can we mention how he loves your drawings?!? Like Van Gogh who? He finds it so cool that he can see your feelings and emotions through your work, he feels closer to you in some way when he looks at them (so cute omg)

- But overall this boys main goal is to just SPOIL you and love you! he just cherishes you so much 😭 (and can’t wait to put a ring on it) LMAO

Hi honey thank you again for requesting! If you want another BoB ship with someone else let me know and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hi honey thank you again for requesting! If you want another BoB ship with someone else let me know and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hi honey thank you again for requesting! If you want another BoB ship with someone else let me know and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hey honey I hope you like this and thank you again for requesting! Let me know if you’d like to request for another BoB guy and i’ll do it!! 💝

Hi honey I hope you love this and if you want another BoB guy just let me know!! 💞

- He thinks you are such a special person,

- loves your curves like so much 🙈 whenever you wear something tight that accentuates your chest or your hips he literally cannot keep his hands to himself 🤭

-

-

[wrestlinghistorywithkay]

Say His Name and He Appears: Counting Down My Favorite Joe Hendry Songs

Hello All My Awesome Readers! Before you ask , you did read the title of this article right! I will be counting down my favorite Joe Hendry songs! Joe Hendry has been one of my favorite wrestlers to watch recently. He is a talented wrestler and one hell of a musician. I laugh every single time I hear his songs.

#5 - Edge’s Bitch

I couldn’t stop laughing when I first heard this one. This song was done for Matt Cardona in 2023. Hendry debuted the song in TNA after Cardona and his tag team partner , Brian Myers , lost in a tag team match . The song is about how Hendry says Cardona will always be Edge’s bitch , referring to his time in WWE. It also included Myers and Chelsea Green, Matt’s Wife. The music video is also hilarious too.

#4- Backstreet’s Back Parody- I know wrestlers will and try to do anything to get booked. But , I have to say , this one is one of my favorite ways a wrestler has gotten his name out there . Hendry talks about how he professional and punctual he is when he goes to shows. Plus , I really think that this one really shows his talent as a singer and also a cool way to get booked.

#3 - I Believe in Joe Hendry - This is most well known song. It is also his entrance music for TNA and NXT. This one first debuted in 2019 when Hendry was wrestling in Ring Of Honor . Hendry wanted to make a song where he wanted fans to participate. The cool thing about this song is that it went to the top of the charts , beating out artists like Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift. I will admit , it’s on my playlist.

Honorable Mentions :

Joehemian Rhapsody ( Bohemian Rhapsody Parody )

Hendry Ball ( Wrecking Ball Parody )

Local Hero ( My Hero Parody )

Pokémon Intro

Cheez-It Champion

#2- Jack Jester’s In My Room- This one is too funny to me. It is a parody of the Venga Boys. The video for this song is even funnier. I couldn’t get it out of my head the first time I heard it and I will never be able to. When I watched this entrance , I could tell that Jack was trying so hard not to laugh. He was even fist pumping to it as well.

#1 - I’m Drew - This one is a parody of Eiffel 65. It came out when Drew came back to Scotland and went back to ICW. I love it because I love Joe and Drew , and I also thought it was super cute and funny. Drew also confirmed that he had to hide his face behind his hair to prevent fans from seeing him laugh because he was a Heel. This means that he was a bad guy and was supposed to be angry that Joe made the song about him. Thus, they praised each other in different interviews.

My Final Thoughts:

I love Joe Hendry. I think it’s so unique how he uses his musical talents to stand out in the ring . I also think that he is a great wrestler as well! I’ll be going to WRESTLECADE and I hope that I will get to see him there. I saw online that he will be there for TNA and a meet and greet. What is your favorite Joe Hendry song? Let me know!

Love You All,

- Kay

[chipper-smol]

Hollow Knight Telephone Round Two: Pale Jester Chain 1

Prompt: PJ finds himself alone with the Grimmchild after the bug who finished the ritual abandons the Grimmchild charm

By @alaska-ren-works​

“Oh, the red casts great and terrifying spells Ones which no one knows The drums go bang and the bats ignite ‘Lo and behold a toad!”

The Pale Jester hummed to the beat of his steps, the atmosphere of King’s Pass having a little color now, PJ thinks. Little taps from crawlids and squawks of vengeflies adding a little harmony to his cheery bells. Ah, to have an orchestra of his own to play and dance to. Never the mind, there’s always his friends he could sneak away with. He’s sure Brumm wouldn’t mind if he borrowed him and his accordian. Brumm was always a lovely companion with his somber mood. Hm, now if only he could remember where he left his lute he’d be on his way to play with the troupe.

The jester paused when mued noise echoed from a tunnel above. Shrugging, his bells jingled as he scaled the stone up and up while wondering what this little mystery was. A statue of a great bug with red eyes a-plenty loomed from the jester's place on the edge, guarding over a single opened chest. The noise echoed from its hollow depths.

A grub? It must be. Unless something else can make such high-pitched sounds.

The jester jingled quietly to the chest, preparing a little song to cheer the poor sap out. Who would leave a child in a desolate place such as this?

He'd have a word with the young one's parents. A strongly worded one at that. If he had a child, he would never abandon them when they needed him most.

Indeed. You have done far, far worse. Strange. Is the wind howling voices? What a peculiar land this is.

The sound whimpered louder and at this the jester froze. It couldn't be. No, of course not. Master had made sure the bug was to be trusted. They would never... They would never do such a thing...!

He hurried and his claws dug into the chest's metal. His heart stopped when he saw what, or who, was inside. The black gleaming horns. The scarlet flame stuttering under glassy eyes.

No.

"Grimmchild?"

A stuttered whimper his only reply.

How dare that excuse of a life betray our child.

Grimmchild did not respond when the jester picked them up, cradling them in his puy-sleeved arms. Dark red stained their cheeks. Dark, sorrowful red.

"Child," he gently cooed, frowning when they hardly moved their head. "How long were you left here?"

No reply. What have they done to you?

“Let’s go home, little one. I am certain you are tired after your long adventure,” he sang with restrained tones, his fury marbled with his grief for this little one. "I have a few tricks I want to show you! Made them perfect while Brumm learned how to juggle. He's not the most dexterous of us all but perhaps one day he can handle flaming darts! What fun that would be!"

No reply.

The Jester trembled with every rocking of his arms for the child. He remembered how the child laughed and beamed when the bug took them to gather the scarlet flames. The child sang with such glee at the bug's performance with the master. The child grew more brilliant with every step this bug took with them down to the kingdom's last flame.

Come to think of it, he had not seen the bug once the heart was defeated. ... No.

"O, child," the jester piped. Taking one step, a stalactite fell from above. His hand moved on its own and in moments, the rock turned to powder under his clenched fist. The child merely curled in his arms, eyes dimming to a close. "Child, you need rest! Once you wake, you'll be in such a lovelier place with the most delightful of games to play with!"

That... fiend... left the child when the ritual was over? Like a mere toy to be buried once play time ends?

That abomination will pay. For every tear this child shed.

Every. Damned. One.

-------------------------------

By @lametinkerer​

-------------------------------

By The Grimm Chronicler

At first, it was easily muffled by all the noise outside. Then he heard it. A thud, a sudden cry of desperation.

Investigating at the source, there he found it, hidden away within a small chest. A child. A weeping, frightened child, clinging to his robes so tight and desperately as though the mere mention of legging go could mean that they would return to the chest and be trapped once again. 

"Oh, child..." The Jester whispers. "Who could do something like this to you? How long have you been there?" Questioned the Jester, though he knew he'd receive naught but silence. Embracing them as gently as possible, he rocked them evenly back and forth until they stilled, having given in to slumber.

His investigation has proven itself to be quite uncomplicated. Within no time, he found out about the child's former guardian and how they were so utterly left aside to simply rot away in the confines of an ornate chest in a secluded area. The mere thought brought forth despicable, hideous emotions he never thought himself capable of experiencing.

Anger. Pure, unbridled anger.

He swore that he'd find the one responsible for this sick malevolence and bring them to justice. Mayhaps even the Master would offer his aid. It mattered little whether he did so or not, the Jester sought naught but to seek out the evil being and he would do so relentlessly. He promised that. As he held the child in his hands, their crimson eyes staring innocently at the funny man with a strange makeup and even stranger outfit and pointy prongs on his head, they giggled at the sight. "That abomination shall pay for every. Single. Tear you ever shed. I shall see to it. They will not go unpunished for such atrocity."

The Jester brought them closer to him, closing his eyes. They giggled at the contact, embracing him back.

"I promise you."

-------------------------------

By @lagt-duck​

-------------------------------

By @al-the-frog​

the unexpected isn’t always desirable

-------------------------------

By @largeegg​

-------------------------------

By @wasabi-arts​

The audience departed, the stage left empty, not a sound. Usually Brumm’s pleasant tune filled the halls draped in red with faint echoes of the notes, but tonight remained silent. It wasn’t often the bug was left with the distinct lack of noise, with no joke to entertain himself or company to keep. All that greeted him was the faint whispers of an audience no more, the spirits that haunted the troupe.

And to think at first you loathed him- a creature created by the king of all nightmares after humiliating your very existence as the king’s little fool. However. . now? You feel pity for him while you watch the jester in red with his head in his hand, sitting on the edge of the stage. He’s weighed by a misery he can’t understand, memories he’ll never recall, all in a world through the holes of a stice striped mask. The stamp of the Grimm Troupe.

On the stage, the jester just stared at something in one of his hands, round and white. Normally, it's something you’d dismiss- perhaps a relic spawning a curiosity that would be short lived- but the curled carving, the white charm shape- it was unmistakable. Something that he and his wife had once shared, then split in two- was suddenly regained.

Several emotions filled your mind as you, in your ghostly shadow of self that remained trapped in the nightmare realm bound by a red string, inched closer to your physical counterpart. The kingsoul. Last you remembered- no, last you knew you held it on your cold dead corpse in the palace long since gone, hidden within a lingering dream. The other half was to your wife, if she even still considered you as much after everything you had done.

Tears ran down his face while he laughed, unaware of the peeking figure standing by the entrance- Grimm, though not the one bound by nightmares. Though the cloaked one’s look of pained sympathy wasn’t where your interest lay.

“Ah. . . .h . a . . ha h.” He laughed through tears, some falling on the kingsoul he held in his hand. “Isn’t this hilarious- laughing over a rock!”

He cringes at calling it such a thing as you do, staring with a mix of disgust and sadness, watching the red flame’s reflection flicker in the charm. The broken crown even seemed to sag even more, a dinky replica of what you yourself once were.

“Did-” A pause from the fool sitting on the edge of the stage- his stage that was built for him in this troupe of misfits. “Did she give this to me to make me cry? Hah-ha! M-Maybe it has a crying effect.”

Your annoyance and anger switched into a deep sadness, watching your counterpart laugh through tears, tears of which he knew not where the source was.

“That’s not what that is-” You say to no one, letting out a sigh as you turn away, responding to a world that wouldn’t hear you regardless. “You won’t know, and I doubt anyone would tell.”

The jester and the peeking Grimm didn't respond, as you expected. Though, finally your counterpart peeked up, catching the taller, monstrous bug in a spare glance. In an instant he hopped up on his feet, charm in hand, greeting the master of the troupe with four open arms- the charm in one.

“H-Hello hello!” He cheered, voice cracking through his tears, the unfamiliar sense of deja-vu crippling his very being. He bowed. “Why, my performance as long since ended, but if my master himself wants another show- then I shall prepare for one-!”

“That is not needed, dear Jester.” Grimm said simply, waving a hand to pause the jester’s actions, finally deciding to enter the room. “While I do enjoy a good show- I didn’t wish to disturb your thought.”

“Thought. . ?” The jester questioned, stature changing from fun to a distinct slouch. You huff- and he looks in your direction, though he doesn’t see you. You’re merely a shadow haunting this jester’s mind. Soon enough his focus drifted back to the round object in his hand. “Ah.”

“Are you feeling alright-”

“Splendid! I am doing fantastically, Master!” He exclaimed as you scowled. Master- what a disgraceful word for a wyrm to call such a makeshift god. Though he’s not a wyrm, nor are you. Not anymore. “I have just been given a cute little charm by a fair lady deep within the gardens. Well- half of it! The beauty said I had the other half, haha!”

Grimm cocks his head, in worry and curiosity, making you wish your counterpart- the one born for the stage and as a mockery of yourself- wasn’t nearly as tone-deaf.

“Hm, you had the other half, she said?” Grimm asked, moving closer to the jester.

“Why, yes! And you’ll never believe where I found it- in some dark little place deep below. How odd!” Grimm let out a ‘hrm’ in response as he spoke.  “Found it on a corpse of all things- a hollow shell of armour! Don’t you find it curious, Master?”

“Hmm- that is quite odd. What do you plan to do with it?”

You watch the jester flinch in a rather odd fashion at the question.

“Well- I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll hang it on to it- or perhaps I’ll wear the darling little thing! Maybe it will help me cry on command, wouldn’t that be hilarious?” Silence. A long, agonizing silence greeted both for a moment, the red flame glittering in the dark room. All these tents had for light were shades upon shades of red- you quite hated the color.

“I suppose it is.” Grimm said, extending out a hand. Long, bony, black. He seemed to lack a lot of the segmentation that typical bugs had. “Why don’t you allow me to hold on to that until you decide what to do with it? We certainly don’t need such a thing getting sawed in half during one of your splendid performances!”

“Why- of course, Master! If you would like it- who am I to refuse such a request!” He hummed back, reaching out to give it to the taller bug. The action disgusted you. Giving away such a precious charm that was your’s and no one else’s, let alone to that made your blood boil.

“Are you going to let go?”

You turn, finding that the jester hadn’t let away his grip of the carved white stone. In fact- it was almost like he couldn’t.

“I--I apologize, Master. I feel like. . . I don’t want to let it go? That’s not very funny, though! Ha-ha! I-”

“Then you can keep it.” he said, the slight smile of his pointed teeth not hidden under his collar for once. “It is yours- so you will do with it what you wish.” The Pale Jester turned his gaze from Grimm to the charm once more, turning it in his hands once. Twice. “However, let’s not focus on that- you have a grand show tomorrow, and I would love to view it from the audience this time around.” He turned to leave with a bow. “I expect an even grander performance than before! ANd I am greatly looking forward, my dear Jester. Have a pleasant night.”

“Goodnight, Master.”

And with Grimm gone, you look back on your counterpart, giving a joyful wave with a solemn, sad expression on his face. The charm lay loosely in his hand. And for once, you wonder what he was thinking in that separated mind of his as he left the stage.

-------------------------------

By @ded-lime​

-------------------------------

By @vivifrage​

The wyrm was in tears.

In times like these, it was even harder to remember that the broken, warped Jester dancing around the Troupe’s grounds used to be these lands’ god-king. Cold. Stoic. Unfeeling, many claimed. Ruled by and ruling over pure logic and calculation.

Easily enough disproved with sufficiently annoying input; Grimm’s own memories trotted out tales of delighting in that knowledge over and over. The wyrm was a stick in the mud, a hardass, arrogant and prim and so fun to bother until he was literally incandescent with anger he’d deny up and down and up again.

Yet here the wyrm stood, muddied white carapace given a pink cast from the tent’s fabric all around, tears still slicking the black tracks in his mask, giving them an obsidian shine. And for the life of him, Grimm couldn’t feel that spark of delight in seeing the pale bastard showing some kind of emotion.

(The Heart certainly could, but its smug pulse felt oh-so-alien versus this dismal thing dampening all the rest of his core more thoroughly than any rain could soak an eternally-burning god.)

He couldn’t quite bring himself to a smile, even a polite one, when the Jester hopped over, something clutched tight in one hand. He settled for an inquisitive look, a soft tilt of the head, eyes alert and bright, hands raised in greeting.

The Jester waved back, in that brief moment as cheery and oblivious as ever. But the moment passed, and he hesitated, hands sinking back against his sides, the closed fist kept close to his collar.

Whatever he held, he pressed it to the lower third of his mask, be it in hesitance or reverence.

Or both.

Grimm let him take his time.

It was the least he could do, really. For the both of them. The wyrm to find his words, Grimm to settle the dread rising in his throat. That rather particular sort of dread, too, that one that anticipated an ugly, ugly task.

“Master?” the Jester asked at last, “May I tell you a story?”

“Of course,” Grim said. It was not a lie. It felt like it was.

“Well, once upon a time, there was a- a-” He clicked his fingers together. “Something bright, almost shining. Resplendent. White, white as snow or ash or death. A tree! No, a tree’s root. And she had crystals for eyes, but they’ve long clouded.

“And in exchange for a laugh, a smile, and a goodbye, she told the funniest tragedy. One of two lovers who saw in each other the world, and whose deeds drove them apart. She gave me a token of their story, of their love, and told me to do with it as I will.”

He opened his fist.

Cradled in his palm was half a charm. White, a colder color than even pale ore, so white and with such a sheen that it seemed to cast the tent in winter tones, the most direct reflections twinkling like evening stars. All save for a black stripe cutting across the face, through the hole of the eye, dug through the detail in the same way the marks on the Jester’s and Grimm’s own masks featured their otherwise plain faces.

Grimm’s stomach dropped. He clenched his jaw to keep it from hanging open. Deep within his chest, the Heart sang in shock, confusion, and uncertainty.

That was wrong.

That was so, so very wrong. In so, so many ways. In ways the Jester could not know.

His eyes traced the mark from halved forehead to fractured jawline. That should not be there. It never should have been in the Jester’s hands but that should not be there-

The Heart swallowed his burst of flame-hot anger, echoed it back with the roar of a furnace.

Grimm put on a polite face. It just so happened to bare his teeth.

The wyrm continued.

“Personally, what I would like to do is mug the other half of the other lover’s no-good corpse!” He twittered with laughter in a way the dour king never would have. The sound just made his carapace crawl. “Ah, but that would require finding it, and the Ritual has us so busy, Master. It must be a matter for later fools.

But, in the meantime, I don’t- It hurts. Such a story. It’s cliché, is it not? The doomed lovers? I could tell you six like that with my tongue tied, and I’m sure you could tell me twelve right back, and we’d both laugh at how silly they all are, to think their love could ever be enough. Perhaps it’s something about holding this little trinket but-” He closed his fist again, held it to his throat. When he spoke, his voice was choked, and he pressed two hands to his temples, another two covering his mask. “The sight of her stung my eyes and I drank her words as sorrowful wine, and now my tears fall and my tongue bleeds in all the pretty reds-”

“Jester?”

The wyrm stared at the waiting hand Grimm held out between them, eyes slowly rising to meet his. There was a spark in there, shadowed behind those vacant carvings in the mask, something bright and cold staring back at him. He smiled at it, and let the chill sink into his teeth.

“If it upsets you so, may I hold it for a time? For your respite, of course. I seek no undue pain from my people, and perhaps I could look into this local legend myself, so we could discuss it together. Besides, it is quite the curious artifact, and I would love a closer look.” His hand bobbed, palm up and curved into a perfect receptacle for the little broken charm.

(Well, not perfect. Only two beings in the world had ever had hands for that.)

Wordlessly, the Jester handed it over. It clinked into Grimm’s hand, its weight off-balance in a way that itched at his mind. And, for everything he knew it was, it struck him as so mundane. Like there should have been something to it, holding a wyrm and a root’s wedding charm. Even half of it. But rather, the thing felt…

Dead, it felt dead.

Comatose, at best.

(Or worst.)

(He glanced back at the Jester. The spark had faded from his eyes, replaced with mellow-warm embers.)

(The Heart thudded its relief.)

“Thank you,” he said, and stepped back.

The Jester blinked, visible only as the slightest hint of eyelids moving behind the mask. He stared at his empty palm, touched the tracks of his mask and rubbed the lingering wet he found. “Was I upset?”

He stared up at Grimm, searching his face. “What was I upset about?”

Grimm offered only a shrug before he turned away, and left the Jester standing alone.

“Brumm,” he muttered, clasping the other bug’s shoulder as he passed by, “Prepare a fire. I must commune.”

Brumm hummed in that low, doubtful way he always did when he sensed Grimm was up to something he ought not to ask about directly. “Are you sure you can’t rest for it? I’d not blame you a moment’s respite.”

Grimm paused, reached back, took his wrist and squeezed it gently. “I know. But I must be of clear mind for this.”

His thumb rubbed the halved charm, stroking up and down the new line carved into its face. The Jester’s story turned over in his head, biting in like a sliver of carapace caught between the teeth.

The dread grew sour.

This could not go on.

The Jester didn’t come to dinner. An odd happening; his appetite easily rivaled Divine’s, and he knew it had been suppressed. Allegedly for how recognizable a wyrm trait that was. But also, the Troupe only had so much in their stocks.

Still, a Troupe member in poor state was a Troupe member in poor state, and Grimm sought him out.

He wasn’t hard to find, exactly. Easier than it used to be by far. The Jester was loud, extroverted, and flashy. But even in his quiet moments, he had a pull to him.

No matter his background, though, Grimm should not have found him in the first tent he checked, hidden away under the first curtain he got a suspicious feeling from.

The Heart sank, staring at the Jester’s back as he curled up, sobbing into his hands. Something was going horribly, horribly wrong. The Jester was the dancing fool the wyrm had shown himself to be, that was all. If he cried, it was when something got too close, and Grimm had told the Grimmkin to ensure he stayed very clear of anything that could trigger that again.

Grimm sunk to the floor beside him, letting the curtain fall back into place. It brushed his back, the fabric thick and heavy, and absorbed everything but their breaths and the sound of the wyrm’s sobbing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, with all the fireplace warmth he could muster. His hand ghosted against the Jester’s back, bumping over the rings dangling where wings once laid.

(Going back up, stroking again, this time pressing harder, he swore he felt slight swells where the buds should have been burned out.)

“I don’t know.” Desperation bit through the wyrm’s voice, through all the tears and despondence. He shuddered, sucked in a raspy breath. “I don’t-”

He turned his face away, pressing his knuckles into his eyes. He keened, the low sound of a hurt creature, kept close and intimate by all the fabric they’d hidden in.

Grimm just rubbed his back, and let him find the words.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have. Perhaps he should have taken a more directorial role in this two-bug production, and told the Jester what was going on, what his poor soul ought to be feeling. How he was new to the Troupe, and some of the changes took time to settle in, he would be fine. Most everyone had been upset for at least one Ritual, especially their first, and sometimes it was hard to place those feelings, wasn’t it? It would pass, it would get better, it meant nothing, really. Not in the long run.

And, if his memory ran long, that sometimes stories just struck a chord, but he need not be upset at simple trinkets and tragic stories with doomed lovers. They were all so silly, weren’t they? Thinking that, in the end, their love would matter.

Why, he ought to set all of it out of mind, and come to dinner. Surely he was hungry?

His tongue laid still, his mouth stayed shut.

“I- I miss- I don’t know. Someone? Something? I don’t know. I can’t find them, they’re slipping through my hands every time I reach. But Master-” His voice broke, cracking into a plaintive cry. He clutched at his chest, hands pawing uselessly at the fabric over his heart. “It hurts.”

Grimm clucked his tongue and cooed. His arms wrapped around the Jester, drawing his form, at once limp to his touch and much too tense, close, until he tucked him against his chest. Head held to heart, listening to its steady beat. All four arms wrapped around his abdomen, knees bumping against his thigh, while Grimm held him and drew his wings from their resting place to wrap around them, shielding the Jester even further from the world beyond.

“I’ve got you,” he purred. The side of his jaw brushed against the wyrm’s horns. “I’ll make it better.”

The Jester shifted in his arms, head tilting up til Grimm found himself cradling its back. When he stared down to meet his eyes, he found that spark staring back, cold as ice and with just as sharp an edge. “How?” he asked.

It could have been a coincidence. A slip of the tongue, the familiarity in how he spoke, with a voice like a lone gust of wind trailing through a cavern. The weight to just that one word, the melancholy it steeped in.

Grimm fought the chill clawing at his back to give him a smile. Gently, he rested the wyrm’s head against his chest again, where the Nightmare Heart beat. “A nightmare feels so very real, does it not? As false as it may be?”

(Again, the sickly sweetness of a lie on his tongue.)

The Jester hummed. After a moment, he snuggled close, full body up against Grimm’s, cool against the Troupe Master’s warmth. “I guess.”

“Take your respite, Jester. Let me care for you.” He leaned back as far as he could, letting the Jester’s weight rest on him. “Then we can get dinner, yes? I bet you’re hungry.”

“Oh!” The Jester’s hand curled against his stomach. “Yes, that would be good. But… a moment, first. To catch my breath.”

“Of course.”

Forgetting was the greatest kindness he could offer the Jester, and the cruelest punishment the wyrm deserved. Let his troubles slip his mind. Let him cry and wail for things he didn’t know, acting out grief for the horrors he didn’t know he committed.

But there was not supposed to be such a gouge in the Kingsoul’s face. There was not supposed to be that soul behind his eyes. There were not supposed to be stories of beautiful roots or jokes about horrible wyrms. There were not supposed to be wing buds in the Jester’s back. The side of him that resided within the Nightmare was not supposed to have such a strain in its voice, nor was he supposed to feel the snap of spellwork.

Something was going wrong.

And all he could do was watch and try to stuff the wyrm back into the Jester’s shell.

-------------------------------

By @artisticdragons​

[glitchyk]

Probably

But

Bros just jealous that I have two wives.

Suck on that

GOD.

@glitchyk do you think my ads are trying to tell me something 🧍‍♀️

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 32 (01/10/21)

Brody was missing from this session so Joker filled in for him.

(also, as weird as this sounds, cw for mentions of blood IRL)

…

Astro: Joker, do you wanna vouch for me that I didn’t kill this person? Joker: Astro and Skizz didn’t, but Astro was thinking about it. So, you know, take that for what it’s worth. Etho: We all have those thoughts though.

...

Impulse: I will admit, I have a weird new role that I don’t know what it means. Astro: Poisoner? Impulse, the poisoner: No. Skizz: Jerkface McJerkyton? That’s not new.

...

*Evil and Skizz are accusing each other, Astro is the deciding vote* Astro: I have a question. Give me a number between one and twenty. Skizz first. Skizz: Wow. I go first? Astro: Yup. Skizz: Uhh… ten. Astro: Okay. Evil? Evil: Eighteen. Astro: By the… laws of the… averages, uh… *votes* Sorry, Evil.

...

Joker: I’d like to make an announcement. Skizz: Go. Joker: I’m not friends with Skizz anymore. He marinated me. I’m not talking to him anymore, so if someone can tell Skizz this information, that’d be great. Skizz, laughing: Impulse, if you could tell the Joker I don’t care.

...

Etho: I trust Evil the most this round. Evil: ...and I’m not sure I trust you, Etho. Impulse: Ooooohhh. Spicy.

...

Evil: -and when I came back up, Pearl was dead. And I only heard one other voice. And he’s a very slippery fruit. Endless: Oh dear. Impulse: Apples are slippery too. It wasn’t me, though. Tango: Go slip on an apple! Endless: I was reading way too much into that statement, okay, let’s go.

...

Impulse: I was heading to the microwave in the cafeteria to cook a burrito. Skizz: Was it bacon and egg or bean and cheese? This matters. Impulse: I didn’t make it to the cafeteria cuz this got called. Tango: How do you know it was a burrito, then? Skizz: OOHOOHOOO. VOTING IMPULSE. Impulse: Cuz that’s what I’m hungry for! Allow me to dream!

...

Joker: I was there with the body. It was Endless. The last thing he said, and I quote: “Joker is amazing. And I’m sorry that I have to die.” Impulse: Don’t buy it. Don’t buy it. Joker: That’s what he said. I held his body as he died and that was the last thing he said. *pause* Joker: He also said “make sure to let everybody know that Skizz smells like poop.” Skizz: Ah, there it is.

...

Tango: Voting Skizz. Skizz: Whoa! Impulse: Was Skizz on the stack? Etho? Skizz: I was several steps away from it. Tango: I dunno, Skizz deserves to be voted off. Joker: I mean, I have to agree with that.

...

*Skizz cut his foot on broken glass during the break* Endless: Not gonna lie, my wife would kill me if that happened. She’d be like “yeah I’m sorry about your foot but what’d you do to the carpet?” Tango: Yeah, you heal; the carpet doesn’t.

...

Impulse: Think we might have to go another round without Skizz. Joker: Are they gonna have to amputate? Impulse: Probably. Joker: Yeah, I’d imagine so. Impulse: Be cool if he got one of those peg legs. Joker: I think he’s got an extra foot in his mouth, so he can use that. Evil: Wow… Impulse, snickering: Brutal. Joker: Was- Was that too soon? Impulse: Too soon, too soon. I mean, the dude’s still bleeding, you know?

...

Tango: Is Skizz back? Skizz: I’m back. Tango: Eyyyy, Skizzleblood! Skizz: Dude, I cleaned up all the glass, I cleaned up all the blood- Tango: Tell me it’s like a crime scene in your living room right now, that’s all I wanna hear. Skizz: -and then I made myself a drink and I’m coming up the stairs - I have tile stairs - and I’m like “oh there’s blood all over the stairs- I’ll get that later.” Tango: YEAH! Priorities! That’s what I like to hear!

...

*Skizz’s colour has turned from blue to grey due to a glitch* Tango: So Skizz, you’ve been grey. Skizz: I got- I got nothin’. Tango: Did you- How much blood did you lose? Are you turning into a- Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Evil: Zombieeeee.

...

*body is reported* Tango: I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! *pause* Endless: Congratulations? Tango: I PIPED!

...

Joker: If Tango could just finish his pipe dream earlier, the game would’ve been over. Tango: Is there a kick feature in this game? Just curious, asking for a friend. Endless: Yeah, if you go into the chat, there’s a boot option. Tango: OH! Joker: Endless. Shut up.

...

Evil: Do we wanna switch maps and see if there’s more stability? Tango: Yes. I’m done with this map. Impulse: But I just took pictures! Tango: Can we play, like, the real map? Impulse: I got kicked off the ship for taking those pictures! Joker: Whoa. I dunno what I just walked into but that did not sound right. Endless, overlapping: Yeah, I’ve been there. That’s- That is not something you want on your record.

...

*Impulse saw Tango morph back from being yellow* Impulse: *calls meeting* Impulse: What’s it like when an apple tries to become a banana? Skizz: Ooh, it’s like a smoothie! Endless, chuckling: What? Skizz, in a funny voice: Put a little blueberry in there. Tango: We got a little fruit action going on there or what? Joker: How much blood did you lose, Skizz? You feeling okay?

...

Skizz: Etho. Say words. I like your voice. Etho: What’s up, buddy? What do you want to know? Skizz: I wanna know why you killed sweet Pearl. Etho: Which round? Skizz: Ohohh man. THIS round! Body’s not even cold!

...

Astro: We’re trying for our first task win. Oh, unless Joker’s not gonna do his task. Joker: I- Uh… What, Astro? Astro: Huh? What? What? Where? Huh? Joker: Tasks?

...

Skizz: Who is not doing their tasks?! What IS that? Astro: I’ll give you seven guesses. Skizz: Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker. Joker: Someone called? Skizz: Are you- Are you not- Do you have tasks, Jokes? *long pause* Joker: Um… Are we talking about like, around my house? Skizz: *sighs* Okay.

...

Joker:*reports a body* Joker: OH I found this! Impulse: *laughs* “Oh I found this”? Joker, also laughing: I don’t know why I said it that way.

...

Skizz: Can you do your last task? Cuz that would just be super. Joker: Yeah, Endless. Can you do your last task? Endless: My tasks are done, dude! Joker: Oh. Then I guess you don’t need to do it. Skizz, why are you asking him to do his last task? Skizz: Talking to YOU, Jokes.

...

*Mrs Tango’s body is reported* Endless: It’s just Mrs Tango, let’s move on. Joker: That’s rude, Endless. Endless: Skipping. Moving on.

...

Endless: Whoever killed Mrs Tango, you’ve got my full support. Joker: Endless. Stop it.

...

Impulse: I wonder if Endless and Evil were both imposters and they were trying to cover it up by having a fake conversation in the upper left engine. Evil: No, it was a conversation about the fact that I miss him. Impulse: Yeaaaaah, that felt strange. Like, nobody misses Endless ever. Skizz: Yeah that’s definitely fake. Impulse: That’s what sold me, dude. I was like there’s no way he’s giving him compliments.

...

Skizz: I love you buddy but I just- I’m not even gonna vote for you, I just want to put some sus because- Impulse: You’re wrong. You’re wrong; you lost too much blood. You’re wrong. Skizz: That could be it. That could be it. Impulse: You’ve admitted that you’re off tonight, right? Skizz: No I didn’t, I’ve been crushing it. I was off on Etho ONE time and it got me a little- It shook my confidence. Impulse: Get me voted off, Skizz. I want your confidence to be crushed. Skizz: Oh…

...

Joker: You know what, I just wanna vote Endles out cuz I’m getting tired of his… poop. Endless: Do it, let’s do it. Etho: He might be jester. Endless, in an ominous whisper: Yesss, I’m jester.

...

*Joker is ejected* Endless: If this is wrong, we’re never gonna finish this game. Joker: Nope. You’re not. Now you gotta figure it out. Skizz: If we’re wrong, you gotta [do your tasks]. Do it for me. Oh, that was never gonna sell him.

...

Skizz: I think Impulse might be jester, I think the imposters are Etho and Evil, and the only legit people are me and Pearl. Impulse: *gasps* Evil: Wrong. Skizz, you are so wrong. Skizz: I KNOW I AM; I CAN’T DO THIS GAME ANYMORE! I WAS SO GOOD WHEN WE STARTED! I HATE THIS GAME! Pearl: You are wonderfully right, I had my hand on that scanner. Skizz: I BELIEVE PEARLY POP! VOTING EVIL!

...

Skizz: Hey! Tango! Why is Joker done with his tasks like three weeks before you? Tango: I dunno, man. I don’t know what’s happening right now. Joker: Yeah! Yeah! How’s that, huh?! How about now, sucker?! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Joker: I- I dunno, I felt… I felt vindicated for some reason.