#jars serving on and off the ice like the perfect treasure that he is

[sidsthekid]

a loss is a loss but are you ever really a loser when you've got someone this pretty tending your goal?

[forever-rogue]

Javier Prompt, if you're willing!! Javier comes home late from work to find the apartment empty, and begins to panic because his pregnant significant other isn't there. He's been nervous the last few months, and it's only gotten worse. When the phone rings and she's on the other end asking for him to come pick her up, he just imagines the worst possibilities.

I’m just...so...soft at the thought of dad to be Javi. Like...just imagine it... 🥺

I also realized that I read this prompt a little wrong and changed it slightly, but I hope you still like it!

Javier Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

It was the heart of summer, the warmest time of the year, and Colombia was in the middle of a heat wave. It was a stifling heat, the kind that was pervasive and deep to penetrate deep into your bones no matter how hard you tried to find relief. Warm mornings turned to even warmer afternoons which led to balmy evenings. Normally, you’d be able to handle it fairly well, as the heat generally didn’t bother you that much. But the not so little fact that you were almost eight months pregnant during all of this did not help. It only served to make you more miserable and it was almost impossible to find any sort of relief.

Javier, your boyfriend and the most Nervous Nellie of a father to be, was attentive to your needs, finding all sorts of ways to ease your discomforts and make you feel better. You were pretty sure that he’d read more pregnancy books than you had, and there was a small growing library of them in the living room bookcase. As soon as you told him you were pregnant, something you had been reluctant to do since you had no clue how he would respond to this surprise, he had shifted into dad mood. Sometimes you were sure he was more excited than you were - the way his eyes had lit up when you had first announced the news and shown him the positive pregnancy test was forever burned into your mind. It was a treasured moment that you never wanted to let go of.

All the knowledge he gathered and all the little tips and tricks learned along the way had been helpful more times than not. But unfortunately, nothing could help you in this heat - no amount of cold showers and drinks and fans seemed to help. You could barely sleep at night, finding it hard to sleep any position with your large belly, and Javi’s warm body to you. He seemed to run warm as it was and it certainly wasn’t helping now..

The one little bit of relief you did find, however, came in the form of the frozen yogurt that Javier had found by chance at the supermarket, thinking you might like it. And you had; you’d almost devoured the whole container in one sitting, and it seemed to cool you ever so slightly. One late night, when you really couldn’t sleep, you’d gotten a hankering for the sweet dessert, and but also something sour. Imagine Javi’s surprise when he woke up to go to the bathroom and found you sitting on the couch watching late night television and eating pickles dipped in the frozen yogurt.

“Oh honey,” his voice was tired and thick with sleep as tried his best not to laugh at the sight. You looked up at him, with a small, sheepish smile on your face as you took another bite of the crunchy pickle. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your before plopping down on the couch next to you, “pickles and ice cream?”

“Froyo,” you corrected him, waving the pickle in front of his face and offering him a bite. He shook his head before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and watching as you dipped the pickle back in and coated it in the frozen yogurt before eating it, “you should go back to bed, Javi. You’ve been exhausted, my love.”

“I couldn’t sleep...again,” he admitted with a small sigh, “and then I found you gone, and then I saw the light on. Why...why on earth are you eating that?”

“Your kid was hungry,” you shrugged lightly, looking pointedly between him and your large stomach, “and I was hot, so I figured this could solve both of my problems.”

“Hey, that is half your kid as well,” he snorted with laughter as put his hand on your belly, rubbing it gently. The baby always seemed to know when it was Javier touching your stomach, moving softly and kicked at the feel of his touch and sound of his voice, “they’re moving.”

It always seemed to amaze him, each time the same as it had the first time, his face lighting up with joy and sheer love. You tried not to get emotional, but with your raging hormones, it was hard to keep anything in check, and you felt that familiar prickling start at the back of your eyes. Putting a hand on top of his, you turned to give him a smile, a tear inadvertently slipping down your cheek. Javi gently reached over and softly wiped it away before giving you a sweet kiss, “honey, don’t cry, it’s alright.”

“I know,” you said softly, feeling the water works preparing to well up, “it’s just...I love you so much, and I’m so excited and happy, but right now being pregnant sucks and I want it to be over and I don’t at the same time because I’m so nervous to meet the baby, our baby, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I know you’ll be the best father, but I worry that I won’t be a good mother. I mean, look at me, I’m sitting here and eating frozen yogurt and pickles and crying.”

“Honey,” Javi put his hand on your cheek and leaned in closer to you, his lips brushing faintly against yours, “you’re alright, you’re going to be just fine. It’s just your hormones - I promise. You’re going to be an amazing mother - the best mother. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be in your position right now, or how it feel at all, but you are incredible for everything you’re doing. I mean, think about it, you’re carrying our child right now. Do you have any idea what a feat that is, how amazing you are?”

“You’re just saying that because I’m pathetic and pregnant,” you sniffled lightly, but he cut you off with a firm kiss, his hand going to the back of your heading, holding you close. It warmed you up completely, in a different way this time, one that was not unpleasant and overbearing, but comforting, “Javi...”

“I know,” he whispered quietly, “I love too.”

“Really?” you asked, your voice but a mere, soft whimper. He nodded softly, nuzzling his nose against yours. Of course you knew he loved you; it was just all of these crazy hormones making you question everything.

“Really, mi amor,” he promised, “you, and our child, even if you’re resorting to silly things such as eating ice cream and pickles.”

“Froyo,” you laughed lightly, feeling a wash of reassurance flood over you. It was hard, especially this far along to remain positive, but it was always easier when you had Javi. He was your rock, your anchor, and helped you keep a level head through all of this, just like you often did with him. The two of you made a good pair, and you hoped that would translate into good parenting.

“Froyo and all,” he corrected, “I love every part of you. Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

On this particular evening, you were at home by yourself, boredom and warmth setting in as you couldn't find anything to hold your interest. You'd made dinner and saved some for Javi, who was working late. He'd told you when he left in the morning that it would he a long day, but a part of you had wished that something would happen and allow him to come home sooner.

But it was nearing ten in the evening and you weren't sure when he'd be back. He was on a stakeout with Steve, meaning it was anyone's guess. Feeling listless, you decided to go for a short walk. It would at least give you some exercise and maybe help to cool you down, should you find some sort of breeze.

You scribbled a note on the pad next to the phone, in the off chance that Javi would return before you came back. Perching the note up so it was easily visible, you walked, or waddled over rather, to your purse and grabbed a few dollars and your key before heading out.

It probably wasn't the best idea to go out, at night, alone, in the midst of everything going on in Colombia, but you really just needed to get out at this point. Surely Javi could understand that, right? But....perhaps he wouldn't.

He'd been such a mother hen lately, ensuring that everything was perfect and attending to your every need. While you didn't mind, not for the most part anyway, sometimes it was a little overwhelming. Being pregnant was enough of a chore, but having someone constantly underfoot wasn't any better. You loved him and he meant well, but sometimes you just needed a break.

Stepping out into the slightly cooler evening air, you let out a sigh of relief as you started your little trek around the block. Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck you; the supermarket where Javi had found your treasured frozen yogurt was close by. Making up your mind, you decided you'd pick up a carton of the stuff and a new jar of pickles.

»»————-　♡　————-««

When Javier arrived home, he was tired, exhausted even, and couldn't wait to get in bed and have you in his arms. It was late, later than he would have liked but his long day was finally over. He'd even come to the decision that he would be working fewer hours and staying out of the field when possible. It was going to a be a big change, but his main priority was you and your baby and he wanted to be around should anything happen. He had a feeling that you'd try and argue with him, but his mind was made up.

"Hermosa," he let out a long sigh as he tried to unlock the door, but stopped, eyebrows knitting together in confusion when he realized the door was already unlocked. Strange. Neither of you ever kept it unlocked, and you definitely knew better.

A tingle of nerves started at the base of his spine as he opened the door and walked inside slowly, unsure of what to expect. The television was on and the window was open, all signs pointing to the fact that you would be home.

"Honey?" his voice faltered slightly as he walked down the hallway and poked his head his head in the bedrooms and bathrooms, trying to see if he could find you. But you were nowhere to be found.

His heart started to race slightly as he reached for the gun in the waistband of his jeans and pulled it out, holding it at the ready. His mind immediately went into overdrive as a million horrid, dark thoughts appeared. Every single bad thought he possessed within the far recesses of mind were suddenly right up front.

What if someone had come and taken you? If someone had broken in? What if something had happened with you and the baby? What if, what if, what if?

There appeared to he no signs of a struggle, but he knew better than anyone that appearances could be deceiving. Your purse was still here and the smell of cooking lingered in the kitchen.

"Fuck," he said softly to himself, running a hand over his face in exasperation as he came to the conclusion that something had to have happened, "Fuck!"

He grabbed the phone, throwing the notepad face down onto the floor in his haste and quickly dialed Steve's number. Anxiously waiting for him to answer, he almost shouted in the receiver, "she's gone! I just got back but she's not here!"

It took Steve only a beat to figure out Javi was in distress about you and he tried to calm him down. Surely there must be there another explanation, "hey, hey, hey, I'm sure it's alright-"

"The door was unlocked, her things are here, TV on. It looks like someone got in here and just took her," it was hard to remain calm when not only could you possibly be at risk, but also the baby, "fuck! Has she talked to Connie at all? Does she know anything?"

He heard Steve mumbling something to Connie, asking her if you had mentioned anything to her or spoken to her. He let out a heavy sigh before returning to Javi, "Con hasn't heard anything. Javi, just relax, I'm sure there's a reasonable-"

"She's missing, Steve! She's almost eight months pregnant and you expect me to calm down!?" he didn't mean to sound as harsh as he did, but he was extremely stressed. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been this worried.

"Make whatever calls you need to and I'll be there to help," Steve hung up the phone as Javi nodded, trying to focus as he tried to make a game plan for how to find you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

After some time you'd finally managed to find your favorite flavor of frozen yogurt and a big jar of pickles, you made your way home, ready to dig in and wait for Javi.

The evening had cooled down further and you strolled back at a leisurely pace, not that you had much of a choice this far in, taking your time to get back. When you got into the complex and made your way to your shared apartment, you thought you heard some voices, and grew excited to think that Javi might be back.

Unlocking the door slowly you stepped in, mouth dropping at sight in front of you. Javi, Steve, and Connie were all around the kitchen table, pouring over what looked like a map, the phone next to them.

"Hey everyone," they were so immersed in their little discussion none of them had noticed you at first, "what's going on?"

Javi's dark eyes flicked up to meet yours momentarily before looking back down at the map. It took him a good few moments before he finally realized it was you, "honey! You're here...you're back! Where the hell have you been?"

"Yeah, of course I'm back..." you walked over to the table and set your bag down, "I live here? I went for a walk and stopped at the market for frozen yogurt and pickles."

"Why!?"

"Your kid was hungry as normal?" you said as if it was no big deal, "and I wanted to get out for a little bit."

"The door was unlocked," he come over to you and put his hands on your face, a clearly distressed look on his face, "the lights and the television were on and I could smell dinner, and you weren't home. I was so worried."

"I just left everything on because I was just going on for a little bit. And in case you came home before me, I didn't want everything all dark," your heart sank a little when you saw how upset he is, "I'm sorry, Javi, I honestly thought I'd be back before you."

"I was so worried! I thought someone had come and taken you or something had happened to baby!" he threw up his hands in exasperation. You knew he wasn't mad at you, he was just in general panic mode over anything related to you right now, "what was I supposed to think?"

"Javi, I left you a note where you would see it," you let out a small sigh as you spied the notepad on the floor, your note still face down. Making your over to it, you tried to pick it up, but quickly came to the conclusion that it was going to be a herculean feat. Connie quickly came to your rescue and swooped it up and studied it before handing it to you, "how did this get on the floor? I left it up so you would easily see it."

Javi came over and took it from your hand, quickly reading it over. He hung his head when he realized he must have knocked it over, "fuck. I must have done that and not noticed."

"If you'd been in the office I would have called you, my love," you put a hand on shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, "but I didn't know if you'd be there...so I just left the note."

He let out a soft groan before taking your hand and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles, "I'm sorry, honey. I just...the door was unlocked and I worry. Especially with everything going on right now and you're so close. I...might have overreacted a little bit..."

"You think?" you teased him, wrapping your arms his neck, holding him as close as possible, with the exception of your stomach, "trust me, if someone was breaking in, I would put up a fight and someone would have heard my screaming. If anything was wrong with the baby, I would have gone to Connie."

"But honey-"

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't I can't put a fight. Anyone tries to come for you or our baby, they're going to catch sight of these hands," you insisted, causing him, Steve, and Connie to break into laughter, "what?! What's so funny?"

"Hermosa," Javi met your eyes for a moment, putting his hand on your face as he gave you a soft smile, "baby, you're 34 weeks pregnant, you cry when you can't pick things up off the floor. You cried at a commercial last night. I don't think you're going to kick anyone's ass."

"Try me, Javier Peña, try me," you put your hands, and tried your best to give him a mean look, "I've got that crazy pregnancy strength!"

"I love you," Javi just laughed before giving a soft kiss, "so much. I’m so glad you’re okay."

"I love you too," you grinned at him, "sorry for worrying you. The one time you come early! If I had any clue I would have just waited. Sorry Steve, sorry Con. You got dragged into all of this because of me. I should have just told Connie and made her come with me."

"It's dangerous to go out alone," Javi reminded you and just pouted your lips at him.

"I just needed to go out and damn kid just wanted a damn snack," you laughed lightly at yourself, "now half the city is probably out looking for me."

"Try half the country," Steve corrected as you just looked at Javi and he sheepishly shrugged at you. He gave Connie a look and the two of them shared a nod, deciding it was time for them to go, "glad you're okay and it was just a misunderstanding. I think this should serve as a lesson to keep calm, right Javi?"

"Fuck off, Murph," Javi flipped him the bird but gave him a thankful smile nonetheless. You gave them a wave before crossing your arms over your chest and shaking your head at him, "I was worried, alright? Every single thought bad of what could have happened to you went through my mind. I would never forgive myself something happened to you, either of you, because of me."

"I know," you put your hand on his cheek and rubbing your thumb gently over his cheekbone, "nothing will ever happen to me or this bean. At least not because of you, probably because I tried over my own feet, which I haven't seen in months, thank you very much."

"You don't know that-"

"Javi, I do," you insisted firmly, "you take such good care of us all the time. You do everything. I know nothing will go wrong, we're safe and sound, here with you.”

“I cannot believe I was this worried about my wife going out and getting ice cream and pickles,” he let out a long sigh of relief as he watched you with a small smile. He took your hand and laced your fingers together, “you are...something else.”

“Firstly - froyo,” you reminded him with a laugh, “and secondly - not your wife.”

“Not yet,” he beamed at you with a little wink. He had plans for that, big plans, but he wasn’t about to tell you that yet.

“Oh yeah, is that so?” you played it cool but internally you were bubbling up with excitement.

“Yeah,” he promised, giving you a nod, “but that’s a discussion for another time. Now why don’t get your...dessert? Snack? Whatever you call and we can go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“That’s what you get for panicking,” you traced you a finger down his nose before kissing it gently. He held you there for a moment, resting his forehead against yours, “I love you, Javi. Really.”

“I love you too, honey,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “even if you do stress me out.”

“Out of love.”

“Aye, dios mio,” he made quick work of scooping you up in his arms, making it effortless and like you totally weren’t heavily pregnant, “you’ve lost all privileges now. Time for bed.”

“Okay, but when you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like a punishment, it just sounds sexy,” you giggled as he started carrying you towards the bedroom, “and that’s how I got pregnant in the first place!”

“Honey...”

“And don’t forget my froyo and pickles!”

[everydisneymovie]

Review #37: Old Yeller

Post #41

8/3/2020

Next up is 1957′s Old Yeller

Enjoyment : [6]

I was very torn on giving this movie any more than a 5. While this movie is engrossing, it is also very placid. It isn’t boring, but the exciting scenes are spaced out just enough that it threatened to get boring a few too many times for my comfort. Once it is all said and done though, this movie engages you enough to see it through to the end, and there is enough effort put into the acting and writing that it isn’t without value. I think it deserves most of the praise it has gotten over the years, it was certainly one of the best Disney movies I have seen in months.

Quality : [5]

There isn’t much to write home about in terms of the nitty gritty film making. Some shots are reused to save time and I assume, to keep the animals safe. The camera does a decent job showing the action when moments get tense, and the music accents important moments. There isn’t anything glaringly wrong with the craft behind this movie, and the way the story is structured is actually rather smooth once you look at the theming. However I just can’t find any exceptional and so it just sorta lingers comfortably in the ‘average’ category.

Hold up : [4]

There isn’t anything terribly offensive about this movie overall, which is a huge relief. There is a very tiny moment towards the end where the father gives the younger son an Indian feathered headdress and he runs around with a tomahawk making whopping noises, but it is like 2 seconds and right at the very end. There is a noticeable softness to this movie, and I think this is 100% due to the core cast being a mother and two very young sons. There are barely any men around to strut around and make toxic comments and it ends up making the movie a real refreshing experience when compared to some of the other machismo movies on this list. The violence towards animals is lighter this time around? There are several scene where Old Yeller is clearly actually fighting a bear, pig, bull and finally a wolf. They actually let the animals like, fight and smack each other around and it really felt uncomfortable. However from what I can find most of the animals were trained and there is at the very least some editing trickery to keep the animals safe for more risky shots. Still, you are on thin fucking ice Disney I have seen too many animals die in your movies to trust you anymore.

Risk : [6]

I think the reason Old Yeller stands the test of time, is that it has a clear thesis from the start that all other scenes exist to support. It is honestly a little jarring to see a Disney movie actually have a structure and a basic narrative, since 90% of the movies on this list just meander about aimlessly and then end. The entire movie centers around Travis being without his father for the first time in his life, the expectations to be the ‘man of the house’ and his fear of the larger world. It is a coming of age story, and his relationship with Old Yeller is a microcosm of his acceptance of adulthood. He is shown to be hostile to others mostly out of fear, and when he opens up, even a troublesome mutt like Old Yeller can be a friend and ally. Old Yeller having to be put down at the end is a big narrative risk, and it actually serves a purpose for Travis as a character. This movie had a tiny nugget of a risk and it really paid off, and it even got me to feel something for the briefest moment. 

Extra Credit : [3]

The movie is very charming in places, and the episodic nature of Travis and Yeller running around the farm solving and/or causing problems is rather fun. I liked that a lot of narrative questions are answered by the movie, and there is decent set up and pay off for certain element like the hydrophobia or the boar catching. I felt tension in some scenes and the movie ultimately works as a small little slice of growing up in the wild west and the everyday hardships of pioneers. 

Final thoughts:

Good on ya Disney, you made a decent film. I think this movie is one of the better live action movies I have seen on this list, I still like 20,000 leagues and Treasure Island due to their larger scale and more bombastic storytelling, but for a small intimate movie about a boy and his dog this is perfectly fine. I feel like all those crappy westerns I had to slog through were practice for this. A smaller cast and a smaller setting was just what they needed. Old Yeller dying is a sad scene to be sure, but it only works because of how much we get to know all the little nuances of this dog throughout the film and how much he matters to Travis’s character arc. Old Yeller is more lovable as a dog since he bites and barks and knocks stuff over and steals food. He isn’t trying to be adorable all the time, he is a dumb flawed animal and learning to love others in spite of, or because of their flaws is a lesson Travis needs to learn as he grows up. I feel like Old Yeller is a perfect movie to show to kids when you need an introduction to darker and more mature media. It is a fun movie about hijinx on a farm, but it doesn’t really sugar coat anything the way you’d expect from Disney and I think that is why so many people remember this movie and were so effect by the final few scenes. I don’t think this movie earns a *diamond in the rough* award but it is still worth watching if you haven’t seen it before. It is perfectly fine.

Total Score: 24/50

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the list

[artistcheez]

Why I Hate Blue Raspberry, an Autobiography

Y’know, I’ve always hated blue raspberry.

The taste, the color, the fact that it has no real relation to actual raspberries?

It’s just always thrown me off.

Tonight was a night like any other, ignoring a particularly ugly banana split and an explosive MnM glacier with a Kamikaze Pilot complex, and I had been doing well. I wasn’t a newbie at the fast food restaurant anymore, I had been working there since March, no small feat for a first job, and had long since learned my way around the store. Within a month or two of starting, I already had the lay of the land and my way around sweet treats and fries. I had most prices memorized and a good portion of how to make the more complex Delights.

Tonight was unusually rough, but I could handle myself, this was just another bump in my road that I was quickly leaping over in order to get my weekly paycheck.

Making ice cream, filling orders, cleaning tables and counters, just what I always do with a few minor hiccups.

A family, two daughters, mother, and father come in and I start taking their orders.

The oldest, is at the very oldest ten, and the youngest, at least six. The youngest is hopping around for blue ice cream

“Blue! Blue ice cream! Blue, blue, blue!”

She’s pointing at the dip cone selections next to me, at a picture of the blue raspberry dip cone, and jumping around.

Her father bends down to explain what it is, and she insists on having one.

She NEEDS one.

She’ll die if she can’t have one.

The father, as excited as her to watch me dip a cone in a vat of warm dipping chocolate, agrees and orders one for himself after ensuring she’d get her precious treat.

I write the family’s orders down and save the ice cream orders, charge them, and send the ticket to the back so that our fry cook could complete her end of the deal.

Let me tell you, blue raspberry and the general dislike of anyone under the age of twelve or not, I love making dip cones for kids. They are always so excited and think it’s the coolest shit ever and treat me like some kind of hero, and I live for that ego boost. So I asked my coworker to help me by making the Delights, another dessert I especially enjoy making, and prepare a cone for dipping.

All afternoon and evening, I had been making amazing dip cones.

Perfectly sized, evenly coated, and satisfying for customers to watch.

I’m still not confident, but I enjoy it enough to get a lot of practice, and it’s one of the few things I can assure will always come out perfect.

Earlier in the evening, I made a large cone and dipped it into a warm chocolate vat and managed to swipe a cup and put it under just before it broke off and handed it to the customer, shell unbroken but cone separated.

I blame the beautiful save for the ugly Banana Splits and explosive MnM Glacier from earlier in the shift.

And for what would happen next.

The little girl is scooped up by her father and he starts getting her hyped up. She’s practically exploding as I stir the blue raspberry and dip her beloved cone into the treasured candy coating. I lifted it and let it drip.

It was beautiful.

She gasped and started clapping, chanting “Blue ice cream, blue ice cream, blue, blue, blue!”

I flip it over and see the most disgusting thing ever.

A dead fly was crystalized onto the side of the unmarred blue surface that was quickly hardening against the icy surface of the cone.

I shout to her father over the glass divider that there is something wrong and that I need to get rid of the cone and the dip. He understands as I promise his daughter a fresh cone.

I lifted the tub from its metal steam chamber after hurriedly tossing the contaminated cone and quickly scurried to the back.

I soon found myself alone in the kitchen, this shift’s fry cook using the bathroom beside the walk-in freezer near the table I set the tub on. My floor coworker comes in and gets the details on the situation and grabs me a new tub, then heads out, already covering for me and heading to the front.

I dump the contaminated blue liquid into the sink and powerwash the candy stir, leaving the tub to stew in soapy water and artificial flavors.

I wheel around, a little panicked but prepared for the worst. I’ve been working this for months, I knew what I was doing. I wasn’t a swaggering veteran of the industry but I had more than proved myself with several long unplanned eight-hour shifts throughout my months working here.

I quickly spot the blue raspberry can on top of the walk-in freezer and bound over.

And then it slipped away from my fingers. 

Annoyed, I got on my tip toes, cursing the genetic lottery for dooming me to an eternity of almost being able to reach things.

I try again and again, determination rising in me.

And finally, I grabbed it.

Now, you see, dip cone topping is like a very fickle girlfriend.

Like a good quality jar of organic peanut butter, the oil and the goodies separate, and since this can had been opened before as evidenced by the strawberry tub lid recycled from the frozen fruits we use, would be greasy on the outside.

It was hard to properly serve and portion from the can, meaning it would be especially greasy on the outside.

No matter, it was in my grasp and ready to serve!

I grabbed it, and soon, the treasure was over my head and ready to be poured into a fresh tub to be served to a little girl with a frankly worrisome obsession with artificially flavored raspberry blue candy.

But before I could claim my prize and the ego boost of dipping a come in front of a toddler, it slipped.

It was so greasy, the can slipped through my hands and had spilled over most of me.

Just as the tidal wave of sticky, greasy, sugary blue goo washed over me, the fry cook opened the bathroom door right next to me and the doorbell went off.

The backroom is set up like so; front door, counter, walkway, walk-in, bathroom. 

And I was smack-dab in the middle of the front door and the bathroom just as two people, a customer and a coworker walked in on me covered in cheap candy.

The customer was a little old man and he blinked at me as I realized that my eye was filled with blue candy and that, no, that wasn’t a new dye job I’d paid nearly two hundred dollars for, that was a bucket of cheap dyes and preservatives. I turned, eyes wide, one with a big, gooey blob of blue staining my sclera and watering furiously. 

And the fry cook had just left the bathroom to see me grovel and gape with half the contents of a can of maybe-edible-but-still-not-actually-food all over myself.

I coughed into my mask dryly, awkwardly lumbering to a table to fill the tub in privacy, somehow slipping and catching myself in the oily mess on my short walk over.

As I did, she watched me over the order table, preparing my most loathsome specialty, covered in a slippery concoction of sugar and splattered ice cream from an MnM Glacier and two dozen perfectly blended chocolate milkshakes.

I sheepishly went back to the floor and rejoined my coworker and apologized for the wait to all involved as I redipped a new cone with shame, one I couldn’t appreciate the effort gone into after making it pretty and served it to the little girl who was just thrilled to even be in possession of blue ice cream.

The father said nothing, his face said nothing, but his eyes said all, and I later heard him telling his kid to finish the ice cream, especially after ‘all the trouble that poor lady went through to get you one’. My coworker pointed out that my right eyebrow was crunching and crackling as I passed a blasting AC vent later, and I washed my face in the tiny bathroom sink. Luckily, my eye had cleaned itself and if my glasses weren’t coated with a thicc layer of syrup, I would’ve had full vision.

I cleaned up my mess during a slow period, the eyes of the fry cook watching me from her station and punched out a few hours later after making sure everything was mopped and ready for tomorrow’s opening shift, most of my brain cells stained as blue as a Dum-Dum Pop lover’s tongue.

Greasy, stinky, and sticky, I walked in the dark down the street and to my house, unlocked the door, and took a very long, very hot shower in peace.

Days like this, I wonder how I ever managed to get a date.

[artsoccupychi]

9 Ways to Get Kids to Drink Healthy Green Smoothies

If you’re in the habit of drinking a green smoothie every day, you already know how healthy and delicious it is.

You probably even reap some of the benefits, including more energy, weight loss, better digestion, skin tone improving, and fewer cravings for sweets and processed foods. (My survey of 175 new green smoothie drinkers yielded these top 5 answers, published in The Green Smoothies Diet [2009]).

Of course, it’d be even better if you could get your family on the bandwagon – and if you’re like hundreds of parents who have asked me over the years, you may be wondering how to get kids to drink healthy green smoothies.

The nice thing about getting more nutrient density in a child’s diet, in the form of a pint of green smoothie a day (which is 7+ servings of raw greens, superfoods, and fruit), is that he or she is less likely to beg you for candy and treats, especially as an after-school smoothie becomes a habit.

In this article:

Start with something your kids already love.

Be smart about how you serve it.

Include your kids in the selection and preparation process.

Teach them to whip it and shake it!

Work with your kids — not against them.

Pull back on pressure, but take responsibility.

Make it matter — what’s in it for them?

Set a good example?

Challenge each other.

The epic battle between kids and parents who want them to eat their veggies is a common one, but including greens as part of a healthy diet is crucial for children’s development, as well as reducing the risk of chronic disease and helping maintain a healthy body weight.1

The US Department of Agriculture ChooseMyPlate tool2 recommends that kids fill their half their plates with fruits and vegetables at every meal, aiming for one to two cups of fruits and one to three cups of vegetables each day, depending on a child’s age and sex. Sadly, the Center for Disease Control reports that 60% of kids don’t meet daily recommendations for fruit, and 93% don’t eat enough vegetables.3

And most other government estimates are far lower. The USDA reports that the average American child eats just 1-2 vegetables and fruits daily, with most of those being in the form of ketchup, french fries, and the juice to wash it all down.

These aren’t exactly the best fruits and vegetables. (If I were in charge of classifying foods, I’m not sure that I would call french fries a vegetable.)

What if you could get spinach, kale, chard, sprouts, blueberries, cashews, flaxseed, ginger, and turmeric in your child (just an example of what you could throw in the blender) before she starts her school day, every day? It’s brain food for getting A’s and staying focused and happy!

And what’s even better, it’s not particularly expensive, and it can be achieved in 10 minutes every morning, with a good blender.

As a parent, would you be excited about that?

Green smoothies are the best way to get lots of nutrients in little time.

If you can get your kids on board with green smoothies, you have an easy way to help them get the vitamins, minerals, calcium, fiber, and other nutrients they need.

Luckily, there are plenty of ways to make it happen and make it easier. I’m a veteran green-smoothie mom, having raised four children to adulthood drinking green smoothies daily. I think I’ve pretty much seen it all, and everything I share with you below came from the “school of hard knocks.”

For instance, I learned early in the process NOT to send the daily pint of green smoothie to school in the lunchbox. It’s too easy for them to not drink it, because 5th graders care about little more than not standing out among their peers. Blended spinach isn’t exactly standard in school lunches.

For us, the green smoothie as breakfast or after-school snack worked better, because I was there to supervise it.

What happened when I took my eye off the ball? I once found 11 pints of rotten green smoothies in my younger daughter’s bedroom, in a toy “treasure chest.” Apparently she hadn’t learned to “treasure” nutrition yet. I had been wondering what happened to all my pint jars, which sent me on a treasure hunt that ended in Libby’s closet.

(Happy update: that same girl loves plant-based, whole-foods nutrition nowadays, and is away at college and asking for tips and help on a weekly basis because she’s learned she feels better when she eats greens, vegetables, fruits, legumes, whole grains, and nuts and seeds as the foundation of her diet. Teaching your kids correct principles when it comes to nutrition is something we both model and teach, and the benefits aren’t always immediate.)

Check out some of the tips and tricks I’ve learned through the years for how to get kids to drink healthy green smoothies, and watch your kids start slurping!

MAKE IT FAMILIAR AND FUN

1.    Start with something your kids already love.

To get kids to drink green smoothies painlessly, think of developing this habit as a process, rather than an event. If your kids are new to whole foods, and you’re trying to right the course now that they’re rather addicted to processed foods, start out simply with ingredients they already love.

Make sure some dark-colored berries are involved at first; a “green smoothie” doesn’t actually have to LOOK green (a color that kids may react to negatively, at first) — it just has to have greens in it!

A green smoothie can come out looking purple, orange, pink — any color of the rainbow!

Use flavorful fruits like berries, pineapple, or peaches that have natural sweetness – and use only mild-tasting greens like spinach to start. After your kids love green smoothies, you can sneak in higher amounts of greens and other superfood ingredients like cabbage, sprouts, bee pollen, and ginger.

Here are two yummy green smoothie recipes, with video demos, that are perfect for starting kids out with:

Greena Colada Smoothie

Bumble Berry Pie Smoothie

2.    Be smart about how you serve it.

Getting your child to try a green smoothie can be an uphill battle, but a little creativity goes a long way. Whip up a concoction and give it a fun name you know will entice your child.

If your child can’t get enough of Marvel comics, make a vivid green smoothie and call it “Hulk Juice.” Younger kids might respond well to “Frozen Elsa Elixir” if they’ve watched Frozen 361 times, or “Thomas the Tank Engine Turbo Fuel” if they love talking trains, as my youngest son Tennyson did.

  Make it even more appealing by putting it into a fun “character” cup or a colorful kid-friendly container that belongs to just him or her and can be used only for green smoothies – and you may just get your kids to drink super-healthy goop every day of the week. I know one family who started with shot glasses of green smoothie and worked up from there!

MAKE IT HANDS ON

3.    Include your kids in the selection and preparation process.

Turn your family green smoothie experience into a bonding opportunity, and get your kids in on the fun! In fact, it just might be “training” that you can hand off to the eldest children, as a permanent assigned job, which might be called “Family Sous Chef.”

Decide on what kind of potion or hero-juice you’re going to whip up, and make a list of ingredients together, guiding your kids toward healthy, reasonable options. Then, go on a scavenger hunt together at the grocery store or farmers’ market to pick out the ripest, juiciest, green-smoothiest ingredients you can find.

To get your kids even more invested, plant a green smoothie garden. Talk with your kids about what ingredients they’d like to plant, aiming for easy-to-grow produce like greens and strawberries. You can even purchase miniature citrus trees if they’re suitable for your area.

Gardening is one way to get your kids more interested and invested in what they eat.

Whether you create it in a small plot in the backyard or in a few containers on your patio, your kids will love digging in the dirt, planting the seeds, and watching the garden grow. Of course, you won’t have ingredients immediately, but when your produce is ready for harvest, your kids are bound to be excited about finally tasting all their hard work in a delicious green smoothie.

If they grow it, shop for it, or prepare it, they are far more likely to enjoy drinking it.

4.    Teach them to whip it and shake it!

If your kids are old enough, let them handle any age-appropriate kitchen tasks. Collecting the ice or peeling oranges may be fun for younger kids, while older children might be able to help clean vegetables or juice citrus fruits. Even the little ones are probably able to press the button on the blender under your close supervision.

A kid-friendly, healthy recipe book with easy smoothie recipes is a great way to get them excited about taking the initiative in healthy choices. My Big Book of Green Smoothies features 50 kids’ photos, submitted by my readers, and even a horse, bunny, and dog green smoothie mustache I didn’t ask them for! Let kids see that other kids do it, and love it, and they’ll be more likely to jump in and join you.

MAKE IT EASY

5.    Work with your kids – not against them.

If your child automatically rejects anything that’s green, don’t be afraid to adjust. Maybe it’s time to step back, meet him where he is, and quietly start praising every positive choice (like a full glass, instead of a shot glass, or a smile on his face rather than pouting or complaining).

Maybe it’s time to have a full-fledged incentive chart. What does she get if she drinks a pint a day, for a full month? (Make sure the reward isn’t a box of ice cream or a package to herself of Oreos. Can you say “mixed messages”?)

We all respond to encouraging behaviors and praise. I’ve seen very famous, successful adults do fairly ridiculous things to please a teacher in a training and earn a small reinforcer.

What would your child be willing to do to spend a few hours with Mom and Dad, ice skating on a Friday night, all by himself, no siblings included? (This was a common reward for completing a goal chart for my kids as they were growing up.)

If your kids are young, no pressure here, but as an older parent, I’d love to share this with you:

From ages 0 to 11, you have a lot of control. Later, you will have decreasing impact on your children’s choices, so not only am I telling you to enjoy being the center of your child’s world; I’m also suggesting that you take very seriously that ages 0-11 is where you create habit. You are creating deep associations with food that will be powerful for the rest of their lives. Your child will have a very difficult time changing his associations with food — positive or negative, junk food versus nutritious options — after setting those tastes and habits and attitudes in the early years.

So, I’m asking you to consider how your example, what you talk about, and what you present to your children has everything to do with whether they’ll be healthy at 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, and beyond.

That might feel heavy. But it matters. Even if everything you serve isn’t the “perfect” diet, do you think you will ever be sorry if you’re writing a blog post like this, 20 years from now, telling other people you made a blender full of superfoods-and-greens smoothies every day your kids were growing up?

I don’t think you will. I don’t think you’ll say, “I just wish I hadn’t fed my kids all that healthy food.” No parent has ever said it, and none ever will.

(Quite the opposite. Check out this blog post I wrote, collecting reactions from parents when I said, “What do you wish you’d done differently, as a parent?” You WILL find responses that say, “I wish I’d modeled and taught healthier dietary choices.” You’ll find no one saying the opposite.)

6.    Pull back on pressure but take responsibility.

“Forcing” your kids to eat anything can backfire. Once I watched one of my girlfriends, on a weekend at the lake with our little kids, hold her son down and shove pieces of a hot dog in his mouth. It was a shocking sight — an otherwise good mom driven to momentary insanity because her little guy was severely constipated and refusing to eat meals.

But just because we don’t “force,” does that mean everything should be a “choice,” even when a child is 3 years old, 7 years old, 10 years old?

Take advantage of the time in your child’s life when you have the most influence on them.

My own advanced study of child development leads me to this basic conclusion: we are not equipped to make all of our choices at a very young age. We should have increasing choice the older we get. And how a family rule or requirement is presented makes all the difference.

Remember when your mom made you clean your plate because kids in China were starving?

(I’m one of 8 children in a one-income military family [read: money was scarce, groceries were rationed], and I remember many times I woke up in the morning to have my dinner plate still at the table, and I wasn’t allowed to have oatmeal until I ate the two cold pieces of zucchini stuck to the plate from the night before. Because “there are starving children in Africa.” I always wondered, will they not starve if I eat all my zucchini? Or, is there any way I can send the starving children this zucchini? Because I would really love to.)

I don’t think everything about the “eat what you’re served” old-school mentality is bad. It’s an easy mentality to criticize, since most of us who were forced to “clean our plate” had to later overcome an eating disorder. (I gained the Freshman 15, because I didn’t have the self-awareness that I could go through the buffet line and then not eat every bite I’d put on my tray.)

On the upside, though, my 7 siblings and I will all eat pretty much anything, regardless of how it tastes. This serves us well in making our food choices based on what that food will do for us, rather than all our choices being related to whether it “tastes good.”

How can we have the best of both worlds from old-school parenting (“eat your vegetables, dammit”) and new-agey parenting (“here are some choices”)?

I understand that modern parenting believes that everything should be just giving your child choices. However, it’s foolishness to think that if you offer a kid a piece of pizza, versus a vegetable tray, that any kid would choose the veggies.

(I’ve actually tested this on groups of 25 children and gotten 0 takers each time on the vegetables.)

Most adults can’t resist junk food when it’s available to them — how can we expect kids to do any better?

I often tell my kids, “There are two kinds of foods. The kind we eat because it’s good for us, and the kind we eat because it tastes good. Most of our choices need to be in the first category. So just eat it, please.”

I think I’ve said it so many times, it’ll be quoted from the mic at my funeral, and all my kids will laugh their heads off.

It’s not very New-Agey parenting, I know. Parenting advice today is all about not “making” anybody do anything and just helping kids feel good about anything they choose as long as it’s not murder or grand larceny.

But it was all theory, this idea that kids should never be required to do anything; they should just be shown some vegetables on a regular basis, in case they might feel like trying some, and to break down their aversion to them.

Part of “getting real” about our responsibility as parents, as the primary teacher and behavior model, is not bringing junk food into the house.

It’s already next-to-impossible to avoid kids being fed donuts and soda at daycare, school, and even church.

So we’re doomed if sugary garbage foods are constantly tempting our kids in the pantry and fridge. The home is where food habits are taught, where most meals are eaten, and it’s where our children will learn habits that either serve them well, or lead them into obesity, the dieting yo-yo, and health problems for life.

I didn’t have junk food in my home. Ever. Not everyone will agree with that philosophy or practice, but I decided to give some healthy respect to how addictive these foods are and just not bring them home in the first place.

But if you put chocolate in my pantry, no matter what my PLANS were, I’d have it all gone within two days, guaranteed.

And I’m a certifiable health nut, with a fully developed frontal lobe, at my age, aware of higher purposes and consequences of my actions. And still, I’m helpless against chocolate. I’ve learned I just cannot have it in my house.

It’s rather foolish to think we can put Cheetohs and Diet Coke in our pantry and expect our kids to make healthy decisions and go for the big salad instead. While this is the prevailing popular parenting advice, I think it lacks a healthy respect for the addictive qualities of processed foods that are hurting our children, and dogging virtually all of us, into adulthood.

I am responsible for the food I bring into my home. I am responsible for the eating habits I show my children I am committed to.

And I am responsible for the things I need to know, and then teach, my children, about health, consequences, and how to optimize their life using food choices.

Parents are responsible for modeling healthy eating habits for their kids.

Oh, and one more thing:

While it might be tempting to try offer a green smoothie as a treat or a reward, that can send the wrong message to your kids.

Treating food as fuel for a healthy body is a smarter strategy for helping your kids to develop healthy eating habits and attitudes. It takes more creativity as a parent, to avoid defaulting into “food as a reward,” but even rewarding kids with a green smoothie teaches them some dangerous thought patterns.

Once I went to my children’s charter school and asked that my child not be assigned to a popular, excellent 5th grade teacher for the following year. Why? Because she rewarded all good behavior in her classroom with a drawer full of candy.

It wasn’t just that I didn’t want my daughter eating candy all day, which is bad for her physical health. It’s also that I didn’t want psychological hard-coding, at that impressionable age, that if you do something good, you deserve some junk food.

7. Make it matter: What’s in it for them?

When I talk to my kids about a healthy choice I wish they would make, I always talk about health benefits that matter to them.

Be very specific.

For instance, a motivated student will care that getting lots of vitamins, minerals, and enzymes will help her think more clearly and perform better on tests.

An athlete will care that all the muscles he depends on for fast-twitch activities, like pitching and fielding and hitting, are optimized when the foods highest in minerals keep the neurons and muscle fibers firing.

A child with acne will care that gluten, dairy, or sugar (or more than one of these) are causing inflammation in his gut and liver, showing up on his skin.

If you don’t have that conversation, he will think that his acne is a skin problem. (It’s never a skin problem–it’s a hormone and a gut problem, and while terrifying drugs like Accutane can mask symptoms, the problem remains.)

If I have any regrets as I look back at the time I had with each of my four children, it usually starts like this:

“I wish I had talked to him more about…..”

Deciding to have regular conversations with the kids about food, and its impact on the symptoms they complain about, is part of great parenting.

We must do it without heavy judgment or condescension. Information is best received by teens and young adults, I’ve found, if you start with this:

“You probably already know this, but….”

Try that. It’s magical. It disarms them from their automatic response of trying to prove to you how smart, independent, and sophisticated they are.

A series of smaller conversations about healthy eating will probably be more effective than one huge lecture.

And keep the conversations that could be construed as “lectures” short. Kids tune out instruction that goes on at length (you can probably imitate the teacher in Charlie Brown, symbolic of every time we’ve all spaced off during a long lecture).

I remember thinking I did a great job of teaching my kids about sex.

Later, my then-21 year old daughter scolded me, “You told me so much, all at once — you should have spread that out, and had lots of conversations over the years.”

And it was true, I realized. I delivered a mighty sermon on human sexuality, complete with a fabulous nuanced values statement of my own — and then considered the job done.

The best kind of sex ed is delivered, like most classes, in bits and pieces.

Food and nutrition are so very important — they deserve a lot of coverage. Not just “eat your vegetables!” But rather, focus on the WHY. Know your facts about food and health, and be very specific, and make it relevant.

MAKE IT A FAMILY AFFAIR

8.    Set a good example.

If you’re wondering how to get your kids to drink healthy green smoothies, it’s likely you already drink them yourself – but if you don’t, it’s time to start.

Kids learn by watching you, and modeling healthy food attitudes and behaviors will help them to develop their own. As an older parent, let me assure you that the results of what you model to your kids will be clear only as they become teenagers and adults.

Kids pay attention to your choices, and everything you eat matters. If your kids see you drink a green smoothie but then devour an entire bag of chips every night or scrape half of your own serving of broccoli into the trash, while taking seconds of the chicken dish, that green smoothie probably isn’t having the effect you hope it will.

Example is far more powerful than lectures.

9. Challenge each other.

Gamifying your daily green smoothies is a quick way to get the whole family into the habit. Try a green smoothie challenge where everyone commits to adding one smoothie per day for a set amount of time. I like a nine-day challenge, because it’s long enough for kids to see great results in their energy and sleep and try a variety of different smoothies.

At the dinner table, have the kids share with you what they notice during and after the 9 days. Maybe the family can discuss whether to continue on with the 9-day challenge. Ask them if they notice they have better/more poop and any other changes.

  Getting kids to drink greens can seem daunting in a world where few of their friends, and none of their social life, models this kind of choice – but it’s not impossible. With a little creativity and lot of patience, you can teach your kids to love making healthy choices that have long term positive consequences.

A FINAL NOTE

Because I did battle with the junk food world myself, and learned everything I write about in this blog post from experience raising four children, I wrote a book that many parents find very useful, to engage their children in making good choices.

The Adventures of Junk Food Dude is all about a boy named Connor who is suffering in grade school due to his diet being primarily processed food. Like one-third of America’s children today, he is significantly overweight.

Another boy in class, the Green Smoothie Guy, befriends him and challenges him to eat no processed sugar for 4 days. He teaches his new buddy how to make a green smoothie.

As Connor changes his habits, his family is inspired, and things turn around for him at school, too.

Many parents have told me that this book, geared for ages 4 to 11, is their child’s favorite book, and that they re-read it to them often.

Some parents tell me that their child asks, at the grocery store, “Mom, is this a Junk Food Dude food, or a Green Smoothie Guy food?”

When this book debuted, I made green smoothies for kids at book readings all over Utah, hosted by health food stores, and I let them choose a badge that said, “I’m a Green Smoothie Guy!” (or Girl)

A quiz at the end of the book lets your child point to foods Green Smoothie Guy taught Junk Food Dude about–foods they could choose more, so that they perform better in academic, athletics, and life in general.

READ NEXT: How one GreenSmoothieGirl reader is raising her kids to be healthy eaters–great tips!

  Robyn Openshaw, MSW, is the bestselling author of The Green Smoothies Diet, 12 Steps to Whole Foods, and 2017’s #1 Amazon Bestseller and USA Today Bestseller, Vibe. Learn more about how to make the journey painless, from the nutrient-scarce Standard American Diet, to a whole-foods diet, in her free video masterclass 12 Steps to Whole Foods.

    [1] Pem D, Jeewon R. Fruit and Vegetable Intake: Benefits and Progress of Nutrition Education Interventions- Narrative Review Article. Iran J Public Health. 2015;44(10):1309-21.

[2] US Department of Agriculture “Choose My Plate – Kids” Retrieved from: https://www.choosemyplate.gov/kids

[3] CDC Newsroom: Children eating more fruit, but fruit and vegetable intake still too low. Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2014/p0805-fruits-vegetables.html

  Disclaimer: This article may contain affiliate links, which allows you to support our mission without costing you extra.

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[smitty7535-blog]

Wine Storage Tips Making The Most of Your Wine

Wine Storage Tips: Making The Most Of Your Treasure Wine has been set apart from the other beverages consumed by humans, rather like the gods and goddesses themselves were set apart from mere mortals in their aerie on Mount Olympus, since the first flagon of grape was allowed to ferment. Wine has had a role to play in religious ceremonies form the time of the ancient Greeks to the Christian rituals of today, and when it is released from its bottle like a genie, wine has almost the same effect. Yet wine, for all its mystery, requires some rather mundane care. Wine which is not to be consumed immediately needs to be sorted, and its proper storage has certain rituals of its own. For those uninitiated into those rituals, wine storage tips might prove helpful. Although many people love to store their wine in plain sight of the envious eyes of their visitors, or because the shade of the burgundy exactly matches the roses on Grandmother’s china, the first of the wine storage tips is that wine should be stored away from light and heat. If you’re not going to be drinking the lovely burgundy within a few weeks, put it back in the wine storage rack in a dark cool part of the house. Watching The Humidity And while you’re putting it back, check the humidity in your main wine storage area. The second of the wine storage tips is that you don’t want the humidity to drop to a level at which the bottle corks will begin to dry out and shrink. If they do, air will get into the bottle s and the wine will eventually deteriorate. Storing Leftover Wine Another of the more useful wine storage tips regards what you should do after the party with the wine in your half-empty bottles. Feeding it to the kitchen sink hardly seems justified; if you can find the cork and it still fits, just replace it and make sure to finish the wine in the next couple of days. For more info see http://www.winestoragerating.com/Articles/Wine_Storage_Temperature.php on Wine Storage Temperature. Nitrogen Sealing But if you’ve had as much wine as you can take for a while, and you can find one, get yourself a nitrogen wine storage unit. It has a cylinder of nitrogen attached to a hose, and the hose is fitted to the bottle of leftover wine, pressurizing it with nitrogen gas so that the wine is protected from oxygen in the air. Oxygen will destroy the wine’s magical properties, but nitrogen will leave them intact. The final, and most obvious, of the wine storage tips, is to forego the entire storage process and drink the wine as soon as you bring it home. That’s why you bought it! WineHomeBrewClub.com   Wine Storage Temperature And The Art Of Imbibing Modern science, when applied to the millennia old art of wine making, has let the great vineyards of the world produce many vintages which to not need to age in their bottles for extended periods before reaching the peaks of flavor and aroma. But the question remains of how to store other vintages for which the journey to perfection will take more time. A wine cellar is the perfect answer for those who have both the space and the money to indulge in one. For the rest of us, though, something more modest will have to do, and any wine storage which is to succeed will have to be done at the proper wine storage temperature. Finding the correct wine storage temperature is not really mystery; warm is bad; cool is good. Heat will cause wine to deteriorate just as it causes fresh fruits, vegetable, meats, and dairy products to deteriorate. On the other hand, going to far in the chilly direction can also be dangerous; frozen wine, unlike frozen grape juice, does not a Popsicle make. Frozen wine, in fact, loses forever its aroma and taste. Color Coded Temperatures One of the factors which should influence your choice of wine storage temperatures is the color of the liquid in the wine bottle. Is it white, or red, or something in between? Once a bottle of wine has been fetched from wherever you keep it during its long nap, you want it at the optimum serving temperature before you drink it. Red wines should not be served chilled; the cold will rob the wine of its ability to dazzle your palate with all the sublet tones and nuances of its flavors and aromas. A temperature of about 65F, or 18C, will show off your merlots, pinots, and burgundies to their best advantage. White wines and blushes are to red wines what ice is to blood; they need to be thoroughly chilled before serving if they are to have any impact whatsoever. No matter their wine storage temperature where you have been keeping them, get them to 39 F, or 4C, before taking the first sip. For more info see http://www.winestoragerating.com/Articles/Wine_Storage_Temperature.php on Wine Storage Temperature. Enjoying The Drink All wines, no matter their color and their wine storage temperatures, should be given a chance to breathe after they have been opened. They should be allowed at least fifteen minutes--thirty would be much better-- of exposure to the air before they are poured and consumed, and they should never, ever, ever be swallowed without being allowed some intimacy with the drinker’s mouth and tongue. If you are brave enough, or drinking alone, you can even try trilling--gently gargling--the wine so that it comes into contact with every part of your mouth.   WineHomeBrewClub.com Wine Storage Temperature And Serving Suggestions The love of wine has existed since the dawn of time. Fossil vines, 60-million-years-old, are the earliest scientific evidence of grapes. The earliest written account of viniculture is in the Old Testament of the Bible which tells us that Noah planted a vineyard and made wine (well with all those animals on the Ark what was he expected to do!) Exactly when it was discovered is unknown, but an ancient Persian fable credits a lady of the court with the discovery of wine. This Princess, having lost favor with the King, attempted to poison herself by eating some table grapes that had spoiled in a jar. She became intoxicated and giddy and fell asleep. When she awoke, she found the stresses that had made her life intolerable had dispersed. Returning to the source of her relief, her subsequent conduct changed so remarkably that she regained the King's favor. He shared his daughter's discovery with his court and ... The wine industry and consumption continues to grow every year. Wine connoisseur are continually buying great wine to keep either for later consumption or for investment. One of the most important aspects to ensure your wine stays fresh during storage is the wine storage temperature. The basics of wine storage temperature are fairly simple. First, the wine should be kept cool. Like most beverages and foods, heat is the natural enemy of wine. A cool temperature is optimal, but the temperature should not lowered too much as this too will harm the wine. In the unlikely event that the wine freezes, it will probably only be suitable for vinegar! The basics of wine storage are really straightforward with whites, reds, and blushes. However, the serving preparation for each of these wine types is different and something worth discussing. After removing the bottle from storage, getting your wine to the correct temperature is important. With red wines, such as a merlot or sheraz, approximately 65 degrees Fahrenheit (18 degrees Celsius) is what is recommended. This is basically room temperature. Secret tip: in a room of about 70 degrees Fahrenheit the wine, due to being a liquid will naturally be cooler. It is highly advised to not chill red wines. This is a more common error than you think, the cold can be very destructive on the wine and its flavor. With whites and many blushes the need for refrigeration before serving is key. Chilling truly brings out the flavor. For these types of wine 39 degrees Fahrenheit or 4 degrees Celsius is usually a good temperature. In the case of both darker wines and the lighter types, it is advisable to let the bottle ‘breathe’ after opening. It is recommended you do this about half an hour before drinking (longer is often better) Now to tasting. Swish the wine around the mouth to truly get the most out of the flavor. I however recommend drinking as opposed to spitting it out! In the end ENJOY the wine, it is after all a pleasure that has been with us for centuries.     Wine Storage is the Key to Preserving and Aging your Wine Wine storage is key to the success of any collection. If you enjoy collecting find wines then you will want to look into the best of all wine storage options. There are many different ways to store your wine but no matter which wine storage solution you choose you will need to keep the conditions constant. The temperature of any wine storage space needs to be at a constant 50-60 degrees. There should also be plenty of ventilation of the area and this wine storage should be far away from the main area of the house. You do not want to have your wine collection suffering due to too much vibration and you need to keep any source of light to a minimum. No sunlight should be permitted into the wine storage area. You can use a wine cellar for your wine storage or you can have a special cooler. Wine racks are a necessary part of your wine storage. The wine racks can be made of metal or wood and the wine storage that you choose will be a matter of personal taste. Both of these sorts of racks are wonderful to look at but the metal racks tend to be more flamboyant and stylish while the wood racks are classic and traditional in style. You may want to choose your racks in order to have them match the rest of your wine storage solution. The final choices that you make will be affected somewhat by whether or not you are planning to show off your wine cellar to your friends. If you are then your wine storage solutions will need to be a little more coordinated. So look into the wine racks and other wine storage options that will all look well together. Your wine storage area can look like those of a professional wine collector. It is not hard to do but it can cost you a little money. Your temporary wine storage options are a little simpler. Just before you serve your wine you will probably want to chill it, this of course depends on the wine. In order to store your wine for chilling you can look into cool wine storage solutions. Wine coolers are easy to find, you can find them in many department stores or wine stores. Even the Internet is a great source for finding these types of wine storage options.   Wine Cellar Cooling Units Building a wine cellar can create the ideal environment to store your wines. Temperature is always a major consideration in wine storage and the ideal wine storage temperature is between 55ºF and 58ºF (13ºC–15ºC), although any temperature between 40º–65ºF (5º–18ºC) will suffice as long as it doesn’t fluctuate too much. Ideally, the humidity should be around 70%. If you can't achieve these temperatures in your passive wine cellar then you may require a wine cellar cooling unit. A standard home refrigerator makes a poor wine cooling solution for several reasons. It is designed specifically to store and look after food products, not to store wines. An atmosphere that works well for meat and vegetables is far too cold and dry for your expensive wine. The preferred temperature for home refrigeration is somewhere between 35ºF and 38ºF (1.7 to 3.3ºC) Home – or even commercial – refrigeration equipment is built to cool food quickly to prevent it spoiling. This is achieved by blasting cold air until the desired temperature is reached. Then a cycle kicks in whereby once the set temperature is reached, the refrigerator shuts off. When the temperature rises to a pre-determined point, cold air is again blasted. This continuous fluctuating temperature cycle isn't good for your wines. Standard refrigeration equipment is designed not only to cool but also to remove moisture. Wine gives off neither heat nor moisture so you end up with an environment that's way too dry for wine. This will cause wine corks to shrink, which will allow air to get in. Once the air is in contact with your wine the irreversible process of oxidation begins and your wine is ruined! Vibration can also be an issue with a home refrigerator. Wine requires a calm vibration-free environment in which to develop so any vibration will eventually destroy a fine wine. Similarly, home air conditioning provides a poor environment for aging your wines, as it removes the humidity from the air which can lead to corks drying out. Additionally, if air conditioning is only turned on at certain times during the day then the wine will become subject to wide temperature fluctuations, which will inevitably cause irreparable damage to your wine. To properly cool and humidify a cellar you will need a cooling system designed specifically for cooling a wine cellar. Wine cellar cooling units can be set at any temperature within the optimum range for successfully aging wines and they cool the air slowly and gently. They are designed to maintain humidity rather than dehydrating the cellar although sometimes additional humidification may be required in extremely dry climates. This type of wine cellar cooling unit is usually installed approximately 18 inches from the top of the room in order to achieve maximum cooling. The unit will also require an unobstructed airflow and adequate ventilation to dissipate the heat generated by the unit. It is also possible to install a split air system into a wine cellar although these units can be very expensive with prices running into many thousands of dollars. A split air system is installed outside the wine cellar and the supply and return air is ducted to and from the wine cellar. This wine cellar refrigeration system works like a central air-conditioning system and is similarly quiet. This system would usually include electronic controls and a digital display. There are many options available with split system cooling including humidifiers, dehumidifiers and alarm units. With the addition of the options, a split air system will provide you with total control of your wine cellar refrigeration, albeit at a large cost. If you find that your wine cellar requires a cooling unit it is worthwhile shopping around and comparing brands. There are few bargains, however, you should be able to save money with a little research.      

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