#james telling sirius he'll always be their brother but can't be friends again until or if remus forgives them

[enbysiriusblack]

i will always stand by the fact peter and james fully took remus' side after the prank

[sweeterelease]

regulus needs someone to kiss. pandora got him into this stupid muggle romance novel and while he can admit it's good writing, all the kissing going on inevitable makes him remember his past experiences, experience. he can't get his brain to stop comparing every affectionate scene with the three-way incident he had with barty and evan in third year. it wasn't even a kiss for merlin's sake, just awkward lips and cheeks pressing against each other, honestly, what were they thinking?

anyway, now he can't help the memory coming back whenever the male lead grabs his partner's face in his hands, it's actually a problem. so he'll listen to dorcas' just kiss someone else, that way those bastards won't be your only reference. dorcas is always right, maybe it could work. the issue now is where in earth does he get someone to kiss him?

he'll figure it out tomorrow. now, dinner is ready and he'll do pretty much anything to get his mind off the book’s happenings for a bit. regulus came in later than usual, the great hall is filled and it's kind of hard to walk through the sea of people, so he bumps into someone's back. shit, a gryffindo— oh hi reg, are you looking for sirius?

regulus stares into james potters' eyes, the boyish grin, he ponders. do the cons outdo the pros in this situation? would the consequences be worth it? hmm. james calls his name a second time and waits patiently, after a couple of seconds without response his eyes wander around nervously.

would you like to kiss me? he finds himself asking, in the middle of a crowded room, with his friends waiting for him at his house's table and his older brother looking at him curiously from across the hall.

james blinks once, twice, three and four times. he clears his throat and sorry, don't think i caught that right? it sounds out of breath, regulus can't tell if it's a good or bad sign.

regulus repeats himself, not sure what's so difficult about a yes or no answer. he continues with i need, um— experience, regulus feels a growing blush at that, definitely not a good sign.

experience. james calls, it's then when regulus catches the deep crimson around the older's cheeks, nose, neck? merlin, it's everywhere. is it really that embarrassing to be asked for a kiss by regulus? well then.

right. i apologize for asking that was— hands wrap around regulus' neck to pull him up. he can't do much but melt into james' embrace and take his kiss.

regulus blinks, he expected james to kiss like he does pretty much anything else, big, loud, unapologetic, and without holding back. but this kiss is tender, a tentative brush of the lips, almost fragile, and he holds regulus like he's made out of glass, like he's sad it has to end. frankly, it's sweet.

james pulls back and stares into regulus eyes, searching. he's shaking, regulus notices, and it takes until his feet meet the ground again to recover from whatever spell this man has put him through, actually— he's not sure it's over quite yet.

was that 'experience' enough? james rasps, brown eyes now glued to regulus' lips. he snakes both hands up the taller's back to mirror the ones still holding his jaw, relishing in the shivers he feels erupting. regulus stares into james potters' eyes again, the slightly bruised lips, he ponders.

no.

[natleecee]

thinking about how James knows so many of the Black Family secrets.

Sirius sneaks into James's bed and talks about it all for hours. His mother's abuse, his father's corruption, his uncle's vices, his cousins' lot. He talks and talks and James never lets himself forget a single word he says. James forces himself to listen, lays there like a sentinel charged with guarding his best friend's pain and shame. James feels every fiber of his privilege, his blessings, when Sirius talks about his curses.

The day Sirius finally leaves, James feels something in him loosen. Sirius is sleeping in the bed beside him, finally home, finally safe, and James cries and cries until dawn. He had never let himself cry for Sirius before. But it's over. He doesn't have to protect Sirius from anything but memories now.

And then James gets to know Regulus. He's found himself in the middle of the two brothers, and James feels for Regulus, he carries the guilt of stealing Sirius from Reg, but he knows everyone is better off for it. James knows Regulus is safe in that house because Sirius always protected him. And yeah, it also hurts because James has fallen more than a little in love with Regulus, but now isn't the time for it. The important thing is, James knows Sirius had to get out and he knows Regulus might resent it, but at least everyone is safe now.

So that's what James tells him. And maybe James was a little emotional about it, a little frayed from all the years of helplessness, and so he lists out the Black secrets he knows. He needs Regulus to know that he knows, that he understands.

But Regulus laughs. He laughs and his eyes turn dark and sharp, bitter and wounded. And then James finds out all the Black secrets he didn't know he didn't know. The ones Sirius didn't know. Because while Sirius thought he was protecting Regulus from abuse, Regulus was protecting Sirius from the truth. The same truth he uses as a weapon against James.

The worst part is that he doesn't even mean to. He's nothing more than a cornered, injured animal, kicked and starved and whipped one too many times. He can't help but bite the hand that holds the food. The hand of the man that doesn't even know how hungry he is.

Afterwards, they're both horrified with themselves. Regulus leaves before James can even say a word. They both drown in regret and uncertainty, at a loss for where to go from here.

James finally decides he'll do whatever he can to get Reg out of that house, too. He tells no one, but he starts making plans. He'll drag him out bodily if that's what it takes. When he sees Regulus again, James will make sure he never has to walk back into his parent's house.

The next time James sees Regulus, it's a picture in the paper, beside his obituary.

[del-stars]

i would sell my dignity to hear your take on bitchkiller

oh i have been waiting for this day i have so many thoughts about them

they absolutely despise one another but start hooking up after a gryffindor party, everyone is very confused (including them)

sirius is humiliated that he slept with one of his brother's friends and swears it will never happen again (it happens again, immediately)

they are the most toxic fuckers you have ever met

attached at the hip. never not touching. will fully start making out with tongue while you're in the middle of talking to one of them. however they both vehemently deny that they even like one another

regularly make out/flirt with other people to make the other jealous and it kind of becomes a competition to see who can take it farther and who can care less

james and regulus try to get them to break up after a week. this only spurs them on ('will you please stop fucking my brother?' 'fuck you, i'm going to fuck your brother even harder')

they get into the most random dangerous shit together and james loses sleep over it ('barty found this herb in the forbidden forest so we're going to smoke it and see if we die')

all of their friends want them to break up because they quite literally bring out the worst in each other. the only person who's supportive is dorcas and it's in a very do whatever you want, it's not my business type of way

their favorite activity is horrifying people by telling them weird fucked up things their dads have done

they refuse to put any sort of label on it and assure people it's purely physical even though they spend all of their time together and are literally going on dates

barty will not hint to anyone that he even likes sirius. ask him about it and he'll say sirius is the most annoying fuck he's ever met

but behind closed doors, barty worships sirius. on his knees 24/7. sirius is obsessed with this and loves seeing how far barty will take it, and barty loves being bossed around by sirius. like barty is crawling on the ground or letting sirius ride his face until he passes out from lack of oxygen. sirius doesn't have much sway over him normally but in the bedroom he could get barty to do absolutely anything he asks (sirius does of course ask if barty would kill someone for him and he answers yes immediately)

barty threatens to kill sirius if he tells anyone about that dynamic and sirius believes him

sirius, on the other hand, loves being worshipped. basically needs it. he puts barty up on the highest pedestal and blindly attaches himself to him. sirius goes wherever barty goes, does whatever barty tells him to, ignores all of their relationship's very evident flaws because he needs someone to adore him as intensely as barty does, or else he can't believe there's anything good about him at all

blood kink

is it hate sex or are they desperately in love with one another? nobody knows, not even them

their fights happen daily and almost always have to be broken up by a third party. it is over the stupidest things but neither of them can ever admit when they're wrong so it turns into an all-out screaming match and usually ends with sirius throwing things

they do not apologize and fuck it out instead

they have been caught fucking in almost every broom closet in hogwarts

it lasts a ridiculously short amount of time. like, three months max

sirius tries repeatedly to break up with barty, barty reels him back in by inflating his ego, this goes on for several days, then barty decides to break up with sirius solely so he can be the one to do it (this drives sirius temporarily insane)

everyone and most especially minerva mcgonagall breathes a sigh of relief

neither of them will ever admit to it, but they actually both did really like one another. it was entirely too intense and they're both too fucked up for it to ever work. they're both narcissists, can't handle being wrong, stupidly competitive, and have massive abandonment issues. instead of complementing one another, they're mirrors of each other. it really could have worked, maybe, if they hadn't grown up the way that they did-- in another lifetime, another universe, all that. for months, james will poke fun at sirius ('do you remember when you dated crouch, of all people?') but sirius looks back on those insane, chaotic weeks with a strange sense of fondness, knowing they were both broken and desperate to be loved and yearning for someone else

endgame wolfstar and rosekiller but that's another post

[soulfullives]

a narrow, dark, cobblestone alleyway, lit only by a solitary lamppost.

james winced, pressing his left hand against his stomach, thick, crimson blood oozing from between his fingers. he hissed in pain, slowly sliding against the wall of the building.

they had been ambushed in a lonely neighborhood of london. he and sirius had gone out to a pub to celebrate silly nothings, because hadn't they, they wouldn't have resisted the war. however, when they had left, tipsy and laughing loudly, sirius' arm slung around james' shoulder, something had exploded a few blocks away and the dark mark hung in the sky, green and black and sickly, an omen of death. it had been a matter of seconds until the death eaters faced them.

"hey, padfoot?" james whispered, tears welling up in his eyes. "have i been a good friend?"

"the very best," sirius gave james a small smile, rushing to his aid. "but you can't die, prongs. the order needs you. we the marauders, need you. your family needs you." sirius hesitated, pressing his hand against james' stomach to try and stop the bleeding. "i need you."

he laughed, ugly and bitter. "remember how we said that if something like this happens, the other shall die too? you better hex yourself until it's too late."

sirius chuckled, but his face was dark with worry. "no need to, mate. you're not dying tonight. you can't die." he looked desperately for a sign that james will laugh and tell him he'll be fine, but his head lowered.

"hey, mate?" james asked, looking up to sirius, a soft tear slipping down his cheek. "if something happens," he coughed, looking at his hands, stained red with his own blood. "if something happens, take care of lily and hari for me, yeah? you gotta keep your head up for them, whatever happens."

"no, no," sirius laughed, shaking his head, knelt in front of his friend, pressing harder on his abdomen. "you're not fucking dying!"

james held his hand up, signaling him to keep quiet. "sirius, listen. we don't know what's gonna happen." he laced his fingers together with his friend and gave his hand a weak, warm squeeze. "i'll die in a heartbeat for my family. you're my family, too." his chuckle was raspy. "but family always sticks together, yeah? and you're my son's godfather. take care of him and lily, if anything happens to me. i'd rather it happened to me than to lily. merlin knows the kid needs a mother."

"he needs his father, too!" sirius plead. "come on, james, let's go home. we'll fix this up, you'll be okay. hari needs his dad. lily needs her husband. i need my brother. let's go home, prongs."

james nodded, almost imperceptibly. "but you'll take care of my family if something happens to me, right? you'll be a father figure to my son. hari loves you, he really does. he's just too tiny to know how to show it. and, if anything happens to me, you'll take care of remus and peter too. they don't take care of themselves nearly enough. and of yourself too. keep your head up for me, pads."

sirius nodded, blinking his tears away and helping his friend up, hoping to whoever was watching over them that he'd never have to spend a day without his partner, his accomplice in mischief. "yeah. anything for you, prongs."

they disappeared into the night with a pop and, once again, the london streets were quiet, the dark mark still hanging deadly in the sky.

[bi-snape]

Chapter 4

Chapter Characters: Severus Snape, Female OC, Evan Rosier, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Lily Evans

Severus's mind filled with voices, so many that it was hard to tell what they were saying. He's dealt with these voices before, they normally speak to him one by one but sometimes they all start speaking at once and it causes him such great stress. These voices always tell him the same thing to give in to the darkness, to end it all but he never listens to them cause Lily is always there for him, she makes the voices go away simply by being near.

Tho she isn't the only person who could keep the voices away by being in his presence, no there was another person who could rid the voices from within his head. "Severus" well speak of the devil and he shall appear. Severus looked up tears streaming down his face, the voices that had filled his mind completely vanished at the sound of his savior's voice. "Evan" Sev said softly and quickly stood up "You came" he added as he practically threw himself into Evan's arms. Evan wrapped his arms around Severus and smiled "Of course I did, you said you needed help" he spoke softly. Severus's mind was at a complete blank, he had forgotten everything that had happened minutes before Evan had arrived. Sev always seemed to forget about his panic attacks when either Evan or Lily showed up, for some reason they both made him forget about everything that happened before their arrival.

"Oh yeah" He said quietly and removed himself from Evan. "So is everything alright?" Evan asked as he was still concerned about his friend, Severus smiled "Yup, I had what Lily calls a panic attack but it's fine now. Oh I got a surprise! Come Come!" He said excitedly and practically ran inside the house. Evan followed him inside all his worries having faded away the minute Severus smiled. The pair headed to Severus's room where a certain little girl was sleeping in. Once they reached their destination Severus slowly opened his bedroom door and quietly stepped inside, Evan followed suit and slowly entered the room "So what exactly is the surprise?" He asked in a whisper sensing that it be wise to not make a sound. Severus walked towards his bed and smiled "I have a little girl!" He shouted out in a whisper excitedly as he pointed at the little girl who was fast asleep.

Evan stared at the girl in complete shock "How the hell did you get a kid?" He questioned. "One night stand" Severus said quickly, Evan knew for a fact that that was a lie. The girl looked nothing like Severus and as far as he was concerned Sev never had any interest in any sexual activities. Sev always told him that sex was a waste of time and that he never saw the appeal in it anyways, later in their friendship Severus had declared he was asexual something that Regulus had brought up during conversation. Severus had also declared he was aromantic the very next day after he had spoken to Lily, now he was trying to figure out why his friend would lie about having sexual relations with a random woman. If Severus ever had to sleep with a girl Evan was certain Sev would sleep with Lily or her Sister, tho Severus and Petunia aren't exactly friends but they're civil to one another. Evan can tell that the little girl looked nothing like the Evans sisters, and the idea of Severus getting drunk and having a fling was out of the question. Severus never felt comfortable with drinking anywhere except within his own home and only drank when he was alone, on some occasions he'll drink with friends but he'll never drink any hard liquor.

"So did this chick just leave her in front of your house?" Evan asked, he wanted to know how Severus really obtained the girl but he knew Severus would never tell him. "Her mom died, she wrote in her will that I would gain custody so the cops brought her here" Severus said, he knew Evan wasn't believing a single word he was saying and to be fair he didn't care. The only reason he was saying such obvious lies is because Evan has no clue that he's Nevermore and he wasn't going to tell him anytime soon. "What's her name?" Evan asked, his mind still trying to figure out why Severus had this girl in the first place "Her name is Clair, tho I might get it changed I haven't decided yet" Severus said happily "I know you don't believe me but that's the story you're gonna tell people when they ask why I have a kid, okay" He added as he turned to look at Evan. "Okay" was all Evan said, he had a hard time saying no to Severus when staring into his eyes.

"So what is it that you need?" Evan asked "Everything that declares her as mine" Severus said in a serious tone. Evan nodded and the minute he did so there was banging on the front door that caused Severus to flinch violently "Oh god I'm gonna die" Sev said quickly and carefully picked up Clair and ran into the bathroom "Make them go away" He said as he locked the bathroom door. Evan shook his head and exited out of the room making his way towards the front door. The banging on the door continued which seemed to make Evan angry, he grabbed the door handle and forcefully opened the door "What!!" He shouted out angrily. "Where is he?" James said with just as much anger "I'm not telling you a damn thing until you calm down" Evan said as he crossed his arms. James sighed heavily and forced himself to relax "Where's Severus?" He asked as calmly as possible "Upstairs in his room in the bathroom, you got ten minutes to talk before I kick you out" Evan said as he stepped aside to let James in.

"Alright" James said as he stepped inside and made his way to Severus's room. Once there He stepped inside and looked around "Severus we need to talk" He said loud enough for him to hear but not enough to startle him. James heard movement and the bathroom door swung open "Hi Jamie" Severus said cheerfully as ever "What brings you here?" He asked jokingly. "Where's the kid Severus?" James said in a tired voice "What kid?" Severus questioned which caused James to groan. "The little girl Severus, you took her after you killed her parents and then you sent me a picture with the caption Fuck the Police" James said quickly "Hehe that was funny, she's in the bathroom I was giving her a bath because I forgot why I ran in there. Imma keep her and name her Yulia" Severus said excitedly while giggling softly.

"You can't keep her!" James shouted out "But I wanna have a kid!! I want her to be my kid!!" Severus shouted out with tears forming in his eyes "She needs to go to an orphanage Sev, you can adopt her later" James said hoping to keep Severus from crying, last time he made Sev cry Lily was practically poisoning him when he was in the hospital after being shot by a thief. Luckily Severus forgot about the incident and was confused as to why Lily was killing him so she stopped. "But I already have her!!" James watched as tears fell from Severus's eyes and before he could say anything to calm him down he felt a dark presence behind him. James slowly turned and came face to face with a very angry Lily "Hey Lily" he said slowly as his body filled with fear "L-Lily" Severus said sadly as he cried softly.

Lily glared at James and rushed over to her best friend "Hush now Sev" She said softly as she hugged Severus. Her attention soon returned to James "I think it's time for you to go" She said and snapped her fingers. James gulped unsure of what was gonna happen next but that was soon answered when he felt someone grab hold of him and drag him out of the house harshly. He felt himself get thrown out the front door and land on the cold hard pavement "So this is you handling the situation" James looked up to see Sirius smirking. "Shut up" James said as he stood up and dusted himself off "Dude you are terrible at talking to Severus, seriously you'd think you learn how to keep him from crying after last time" Sirius said while laughing.

"He won't give up the girl, says he wants to keep her but when I told him that he could adopt her he said no cause he already had her" James said softly "He really wants a kid huh, sucks that it won't be her" Sirius stated

"What do you mean it won't be her?"

"James we found out the girl's has a Aunt who lives in America, once we get her back that's where she's going. Severus won't see her again" Sirius said softly which caused James to sigh deeply "There's no way that Severus will give her up. What do we do now?" James spoke as he turned to look at Severus's home. "We let him keep her and fake the girl's death, I know someone who can help" Sirius said excitedly "So help me god if you call your brother for help I will-" James started but was interrupted "End me uh huh sure, don't get pissy cause my brother dumped you for someone better now come on let's go home and figure out how to keep Lily from poisoning you again" Sirius stated and grabbed hold of James before making his way back to their home. James sighed and allowed his best friend to drag him back home hoping for the day to end.