#jack dean fits more of course because god literally forces dean's hand here like the retelling (and abraham)

[sirlancenotalot]

“father, i don't understand this religion” (cain, josé saramago) / spn: 1x22 (devil's trap) & spn: 14x20 (moriah)

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

-

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

-

[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

-

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

-

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

-

[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

-

[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

-

[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

[mittensmorgul]

Also I’m still kind of confused what happened to Jack. When he said he wasn’t going to live in the bunker anymore and be hands off did he just mean he’s going to be living in heaven now? Can Cas actually see/talk to him or is he literally a raindrop?

Hi there! I’ll share how I’ve always kinda seen Chuck as a character going back years, even before s11, because I think my personal interpretation on Jack actually relies on having thought this about Chuck... and obviously I don’t know if the show ever even considered what I’m about to write here but this interpretation is there in canon for loons like me who think way too much about the functional metaphysics and metaphors of the show who actually enjoy seeing it there. :)

WARNING: ENTERING MITTENS WILD HEADCANON TERRITORY

So I’ve been writing since after the s10 finale dropped about what the Darkness actually was... a destructive force, yes, but only in opposition to the creative force, or “light.” At the time I defended this read with my Armchair Scientist™ (i.e. I have no formal training in it, but to the best of my understanding this holds water) knowledge of astrophysics. This is how our universe functions. There’s light and stars and matter and elements that we can perceive, and yet that doesn’t account for why the universe functions the way it does unless there’s some unseen, additional force at work and powering all of it, as well. In astrophysics, this is referred to as “dark matter” and “dark energy.” And it’s as essential to the function of our entire universe as the stuff we can see, but its existence is only theoretical because we can perceive gaps where stuff should be based on everything else we are able to observe.

Gosh I hope that makes sense. >.>

so in the simplest metaphorical terms in the construct of the Supernatural universe, Chuck-as-Light and Amara-as-Darkness. but when Chuck locked her away at the beginning of creation, and tried to make his universe “work” without that dark force to support the rest of it, the universe kept trying to force balance on itself in increasingly complex ways as the story and the construct of the universe continued to evolve from only half the original elements required for that balance to truly function. I don’t think, and never have thought of Chuck and Amara as “people.” Or even “people adjacent.” They’re personifications of these two basic yet opposing forces.

So what does that mean in-story? That Chuck didn’t start at this beginning of his own story, at the moment of creation of the universe, as a “writer.” Like everything else about him, I think he himself as an Avatar of his own creation evolved as his creation did. When life emerged, without the Essential Force of Destruction (because he’d locked that up with the Darkness), he had to become that force in his own creation. Each time he encountered a new spontaneous detail that evolved in his creation, he also needed to manifest the parts of it that would’ve been naturally countered by the missing forces from his own creation. By the very nature of HOW he created all of this, he had to become destruction. And he’s never been very good at that part, because it’s not what he’s literally made of.

Chuck-- aka the generative force-- by necessity became a duality himself, and in doing so he became more and more essentially woven through the entirety of his creation until he actually manifested AS Chuck, “gave himself the ability to play music,” even. But like, the more of himself he needed to invest in keeping the entire universe in balance, the more he began to congeal into a more concrete entity, like the act of creation by necessity pulled his power out of the fabric of creation in some ways, and forced it into the unseen mesh of destruction in others. And from that duality, and from interacting with his own creation, The Force of Light and Creation that we label “God” evolved into Chuck the Author, because metaphors.

And I’ve reached the point of this essay where I have officially started to feel deranged because I don’t have the right words to express how this makes sense inside my own head. It’s like trying to write a literal description of what achieving Nirvana feels like, you know? We’re fully in “what is the sound of one hand clapping” territory, and apologies if I just sound like a crackpot at this point, but I honestly don’t have better words for this. It’s not really a compatible-with-words thing.

Okay, that said, when Amara was brought into the story, this was her journey of understanding the creation Chuck made without her, and her finding value and worth in it herself while also seeing the points at which she should’ve been there to crate the balance Chuck had to force on the universe in her absence. She’d initially seen it as “failure,” but now she truly seems to understand and love this creation and has been actively trying to find a way to fit herself into it. And metaphorically, that has been healing the parts of the universe that should have been hers all along.

I love her final appeal to Chuck before he crushed her with one final manipulation into capitulating to his will, in 15.17:

AMARA: It's not too late, brother. You can still choose this world, us. It doesn't have to end like this. I--

CHUCK: Amara. Shut up.

She really wanted them to achieve the true balance that SHOULD’ve permeated creation in the first place. In that same episode, we have Adam’s test for Jack, in which Jack “sees” this fundamental imbalance and Adam metaphorically “names” it:

ADAM: That's your choice?

JACK: Yes. [Adam looks slightly disappointed, but Jack goes on] And the others. All of them. They're just rocks but their existence makes them divine. Because God is in everything.

ADAM: [he sighs with relief and smiles at Jack] Right on. At least, he should be.

AT LEAST HE SHOULD BE.

Chuck... wasn’t in all things, even though that’s how the universe-in-true-balance SHOULD have functioned, if half the force of it hadn’t been cut off and shunted to the side. In trying to be all things to the entirety of creation, Chuck... failed at this basic level without the balance he should’ve had with Amara. Not as people, not even as “personifications” or “avatars” or “incarnations” of these concepts, but as the concepts themselves.

He broke his own creation by asserting his will on it in the first place, because as the force of creation, he should’ve never had a will to begin with.

And then we have Jack, who has been through experiences since his birth that have “split” him into each of these fundamental elements-- or at least into smaller-scale versions of these fundamental elements. He experienced balance at birth-- divine creative and destructive force held together through human love. But he was “split” into “grace and a human soul” and was forced to experience each of these states independently of one another. But he couldn’t truly exist without being reunited into his Whole Self. After the metaphorical spiritual journey that Billie sent him on after his own apparent “death” at Chuck’s hands in 14.20, he began a process of rebuilding himself and achieving a sort of “enlightenment” that culminated in an act of pure creation, and he began “absorbing” the power to contain the fully balanced unification of all the forces necessary to truly heal creation.

Jack became a crucible for this unification to exist in.

It reminds me of Chuck trying to force Dean into this role in s11, labeling him “the firewall between light and dark,” because that’s just.. not something a human being should even have to consider being. That was Chuck trying to force his narrative on Dean to avoid accepting the responsibility for capitulating and letting go of his story for himself. But Jack... wasn’t just a cute lil 3 year old human. His very creation was an act of defiance against the original creator, and like Kelly always professed, he would be the force to raise the universe up to its full potential.

I still feel disappointed that we didn’t have a final scene of Jack going to her in Heaven before he tore all the walls down, and telling her that it was all worth it, that they won and the universe was healed because of her, because she loved him and believed in him, and then saw the walls in Heaven fall (because the walls in Heaven were always Chuck’s power construct that only ever existed because of his need to fill the power gaps in his own creation through forcing angels and human souls into powering his narrative for him). 

But back to the point... I feel like as a “fully reunited” balance of the univrse-- Light and Darkness contained in the crucible of Pure Human Love that Jack represented, I don’t think “Jack” ceased to exist, but that as a being he’s... dissipated himself throughout ALL of creation-- heaven, hell, purgatory, earth... and even restored the Empty to its state of blissful slumber. Of course he wouldn’t have left Cas there, he would’ve visited him too and given him a choice, because this has always been about choice. Cas sacrificed himself DIRECTLY FOR JACK to have been able to achieve this victory in the first place. I cannot conceive of a version of events that would’ve relegated Cas to eternal oblivion.

And again, steering this bus back onto the road.... sorry for all the detours, I swear I am getting to the point here...

I think what we’re left with as an understanding of Jack is that he and his love and power are everywhere in creation now, in the stones were God’s love should have been but wasn’t anymore, in all of it if you’re actually looking for it.

I don’t think the narrative actually precludes Jack from manifesting as the guy we love, but I don’t know that it’s even important to the structure of the universe that he ever would.

As a character we love and feel for, though, I don’t think there’s anything stopping him from peacefully wandering the fields of the Paradise Heaven he built for the people he loves the most and sharing in their pure human joy at their reunion.

Does this make sense? Or is this... just... wackadoodle logic I’ve laid over top of all this nonsense...? It does make me feel better to think of it all this way. And it’s why I have been pretty sure since s13 that Jack would be the one character who did not “survive the series,” because this was literally the role he was born to fill in the universe, on a cosmic scale. Healing it out of love, for everyone who loved him. He brought humanity and balance to the universe as the guiding principles, and cancelled Chuck’s original story.

[amwritingmeta]

End of S15 Spec: Is Cas Returning to Heaven?

My dearlings, my sweetlings, my buttery, Scottish shortbreads -

We’re in times of great turmoil right now and my only way to relax myself out of the need to check my Twitter feed every other minute and retweet all the inspiring or infuriating or educational stuff that’s coming at me left, right and centre, is to write. I started working on this piece of spec a little while back, after talking to @waywardliliana (hey girl hey) and last week I felt inspired to start writing this spec-meta-hopes-and-wishes-whathaveyou, so here we are.

This spec was actually brought on by Liliana telling me a prevailing theory in fandom right now (or a few weeks back) which is that Cas is going to die in 15x18. 

As far as I understand it from Liliana, this theory is based on the fact that Jensen and Misha were talking at VegasCon about having shot a heavy scene just the two of them (and quite possibly with Alex) before heading off to the con, and this scene is taking place sometime during 15x18.

That’s literally all I know, but that’s what I’m basing this spec on: something heavy happening between Dean and Cas in 15x18 as per “confirmed” by the actors themselves.

So, off the cuff: I don’t think Cas is going to die. 

Mostly due to narrative reasons, because I can’t see how him dying would service the story they’ve built for him this season whatsoever (let’s not forget about his deal with the Empty) (and I’ll dig deeper into that) nor how it would play into his individual arc as a whole, but also because it’s too repetitive. 

We’ve seen him die an angel death, we don’t need to see it again, nor would it be as impactful as Cas’ death at the end of S12 (and beginning of S7) where both instances can be looked at as serving to push Dean into a state of grief, where we got the chance to feel the loss and absence of Cas through how it affected Dean. Yeah? (yes!)

It’s always been beautifully handled, to be honest. Dean losing faith (and most starkly his faith in himself) when losing Cas. It happened in the S7 greif arc, and it happened in an even more condensed and pointed way in S13.

Because in S13, unlike in S7, Dean is no longer forcing a smile and pretending he’s okay. Instead, he’s wearing his anger like the armour it is, while telling Sam he’s fine, which Sam sees through very easily, and we do too, because of course he’s not fine. Until we finally get Dean admiting he needs Sam to keep the faith, because right now Dean can’t believe in a damn thing.

*mh mh good*

(it even happened to some extent in S15 after Cas left) (though then he was more in the I don’t give a fuck anymore mood) (once Cas comes back who is it that suddenly cracks the case of how to fight God wide open?) (yup) (our Dean that’s who)

So what would Cas dying bring to Dean’s individual arc this time around? 

What would Cas dying mean for Cas’ individual arc? 

Cas has died specifically to underpin Dean’s progression (or rather, to show us where that progression needs to take him) (and to give us a gorgeous underlining of how Cas is Dean’s happiness because of Dean’s attitude change when Cas comes back in S13) (hey-oh!) and Cas has died specifically to allow for his own rebirth, to push him into a new stage in his own progression toward self-actualisation, so killing him at the end of his journey would mean… he ends up in the Empty?

But the tying up of the dangling loose end that is Cas’ deal with the Empty needs to be linked directly to Cas giving himself permission to be happy.

I will dig deeper into this, but I doubt we’re getting him permitting himself to be happy in 15x18, because looking at this show’s narrative structure as it’s always been used before: either this moment needs to be linked back to his individual arc and his growing sense of identity, or it needs to be tied to Dean (because no enormous turning point for either character happens without it affecting the other) and neither of these are, to me, entirely viable.

That said, I mostly don’t see Cas ever going back to the Empty based in what I see the Empty as symbolically representative of, which is Cas’ Shadow, his unconscious, and Cas returning to its dwelling is a symbolical statement of defeat. He can’t fight the Empty, he can’t destroy the Empty, not while he is in the place where the Empty has the upper hand completely. Cas ending up in the Empty means his Shadow has won, there will be no integration, no self-actualisation, and Cas’ journey ends on a tragic note indeed. 

Is that a fair reward for someone who has just overcome his fear of happiness? Because when the Empty shows to claim Cas, we’ll know that this is exactly what has happened, and it’s an incredibly important moment for Cas’ progression, signaling self-acceptance and self-love, daring to allow himself to feel that happiness, and, or so I would hope, doing so in clear defiance of the Empty’s lingering threat. 

Because Cas feeling that strong in himself that he actually permits himself the happiness of the moment, knowing full well that it means the Empty will show, and feeling ready to face it head on (I mean, I have a loophole in mind, but I’ll get to that), it would be gigantically symbolic of how he’s crossing that threshold he’s been stood on for so long, no longer letting any of his fears rule him, no longer feeling any doubt or mistrust in himself.

*gah*

Cas actually being claimed right after his happiest moment and ending up in the Empty is not a fair reward, and Cas will not be narratively punished for reaching the climax of his progression. 

So, no, I simply do not believe he’s set to die.

More on the Empty and all that happiness goodness as we go along.

Now, the following thoughts are based in my reading of this narrative, so let’s proceed with caution and I’m handing out salt for you to sprinkle all over this piece of pure speculation. Sprinkle it at will, please!

Let’s begin with my main speculation for the final few episodes of S15, which is:

Cas’ powers are fully restored and he goes back to Heaven.

How would this happen? I would suggest that, as we’re witnessing Jack begin to come into his full power (he’s already levelled up from archangel), growing ever more sure of himself in the process, we may get to witness the full extent and wonder of that power, and what better way to showcase the budding culmination of them, than through Jack mending Cas’ broken wings? 

Of course, this is mere conjecture. There are a multitude of ways that Cas might end up powered up. Even God could play a role. Suggesting Jack is the source of this transformation is merely to create a foundation for the scenario, and it’s also fitting, as Jack has served to bring Cas a great deal of faith in his own capabilities, so Jack would serve well to give Cas the final push toward self-realisation, and Cas may very well need to remember what being whole as an angel feels like, to gain perspective on how to answer the ever-lingering questions of who he is and who he wants to be.

The biggest questions on the table for me, if this were to happen, are: 

Would we get a heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas in 15x18 (heavy stuff), where their respective role in the other’s growth comes to a conclusion, and they take the lessons learned and carry on alone, but fulfilled, and grateful for having known each other, leading to a series ending where Cas stays in Heaven? 

Or—>

Would we get to witness that heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas, but then, instead of staying in Heaven, would we get Cas, fully powered, gain the perspective he needs of who he truly is and who he wants to be, leading to a series ending where Cas chooses to become human, returning to Earth and all the shenanigans of a hunter life?

And finally —>

Is there a middle ground here?

There’s an old narrative question that comes to mind, posed to Cas in S9 (you know of which I speak), which is an articulation of Castiel’s deepest internal conflict, serving as motor for the character journey he’s pushed onto through meeting, and saving, Dean Winchester.

Two years ago I wrote an essay based around this question, and now, at the very end, I’m going to pose it again, and build the following meta analysis and speculation around what my answers to the above questions are, and why. 

Angel or Man?

One straightforward question.

And yet, Cas’ identity crisis has been with him from the very start of S4, and this question has been at the back of his mind, grating away, causing confusion and erroding his sense of self, because he’s loyal to everyone but himself (perfectly mirroring Dean) and that dual loyalty - Heaven and Dean (humanity) - has always been the baseline for why he can’t answer this straightforward question for himself.

Since S13, when he got himself out of the clutches of the Empty and chose to return to Earth, there’s been, to my mind, a heavy subtextual hinting at Cas having made an actual and very real choice of where he wants to belong - no longer waiting to be told he belongs there, the way he’s shown to be throughout S12 - and this real choice of where he wants to belong comes after we’ve gotten to witness his declaration of love towards Dean and the Winchesters, Cas telling them they’re his family in 12x12, so it fits nicely with his internal progression.

It fits especially nicely when considering the Empty as a symbolic representative of Cas’ Shadow (Carl Jung for the win).

Because Cas standing up to his unconscious fears and telling them to release him makes a double underlining for why Cas, from 13x04 and onward, has been shown to be growing into his sense of belonging, leading to him finding clarity of where to draw the line for himself, without worrying about outside opinion; this moving into a sense of real self-worth reaching a culmination in him standing up for himself to Dean in 15x03.

In fact, Cas standing up for himself was an enormous internal turning point for him, and brought on an enormous internal turning point for Dean, which may hopefully lead to clarity for him as well, and healing, as Cas putting his foot down forced Dean to finally be the one to name the feeling that usually overrides everything else: his anger.

(many secondary characters have tried to bring this awareness as they’ve pointed this out to him) (dark!Kaia especially) (but it took Cas’ righteous anger and distancing for Dean to finally be forced into a position to admit it to himself) (and through it, admit his lack of control over it) (huuuuge step in his movement toward much needed self-insight) (being honest with yourself is the first step!)

*gah*

Now, if Cas has been shown to choose where he wants to belong, for himself: Earth; then throughout S13 and into S14 he was still shown to be heavily reliant on his core trait of loyalty in order to have a pronounced direction, because, to me, his purpose throughout these two seasons leading into S15 still needed to be dictated by where he could apply his sense of duty.

Once he returned from the Empty, it was made perfectly clear that his sense of duty had gone from Heaven, to Humanity. 

Not only is this shown through how Cas states, more than once, that he willed himself back to Earth in order to fulfull his promise to Kelly Kline and protect her son, but it’s also given to us in how he uses his angelic powers for torture, once of his own accord, and then (horrifyingly) under the orders of Dean: Cas no longer serves Heaven, he serves Man. (more specifically Dean)

However horrifying - because he shouldn’t be taking orders at all, and he shouldn’t use his powers as a weapon like that - this shift is necessary to underline Cas’ evolving relationship with Heaven, which had its first nail driven into its coffin with Naomi, when she forced Cas to slaughter all those Deans, and its final nail given to us through Cas killing Duma, Cas showing us that he is now refusing to allow Heaven to exact any authority over him and, intriguingly enough for where we’re at now, rather choosing to deplete the needed Heavenly power source in order to kill a would-be oppressor, rather than see Heaven fall back into its previous totalitarian mode of regime.

Cas learning lessons in humanity and wanting to take them to Heaven to fix his home has been part of his arc since the end of S5, to rather disastrous effect, since he was ill-equipped to properly understand and incorporate lessons only half-learned.

Through him breaking away from Dean and leaving the bunker in 15x03, Cas showed independence in a way he never has before. 

Of course, he’s always been the one to leave at a moment’s notice or disappear without so much as a by-your-leave, but this was a confrontation, tied directly to Dean’s inability to listen and to forgive. 

It’s Cas refusing to be taken for granted, and this shows us how the biggest lesson the narrative has been trying to teach him is finally beginning to take proper hold, because refusing to be taken for granted means that his self-worth is at a point where he’s able to expect more for himself, because he knows he deserves better.

And, or so this meta writer would argue, because he knows Dean is better than how he’s behaving, and Cas is fed up with enabling Dean’s self-righteousness. *headcanon*

So, Cas is now equipped with a lot of the tools needed to bring actual balance to Heaven, to bring strong, good leadership that doesn’t look at human beings as something to scrape off the sole of their shoe. He has a stronger understanding of why humans human, and a sense of compassion that doesn’t cause doubt or confusion, but leaves him secure in his own viewpoint.

That said, we still have him identifying himself as a “thing” in the latter part of S14, which is something that leaves us without the actual answer to the above question, because even towards the end of S14 we have Cas unable to label himself as either or.

In fact, I would say that labeling himself a “thing” alongside Jack - a nephilim who is of Heaven, Earth and Hell - speaks to some amount of identity confusion. 

So then. 

Let’s ponder the final episodes - keeping in mind we’re just having some fun speculating - and consider the possibilities surrounding the final destination of Cas’ character journey, as well as how the possible outcomes affect his relationship with Dean. 

Castiel, Angel of the Lord

Scenario the First —> Cas’ powers are fully restored and…

We get a heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas in 15x18 (heavy stuff), where their respective role in the other’s growth comes to a conclusion, and they take the lessons learned and carry on alone, but fulfilled, and grateful for having known each other, leading to a series ending where Cas stays in Heaven.

I mean, it’s emotionally neat, to be honest, because if we leave Destiel to the side and look at the plain text, Dean and Cas’ bond can be tied to their respective individual journeys through how Cas represents Faith to Dean, and Dean represents Humanity to Cas.

They are each other’s most repressed sides manifested, and they are an externalisation of each other’s internal compass, pointing them to the internal work they need to do to be able to reach self-actualisation through acknowledging, accepting and embracing what the other represents to them.

For Dean, it’s learning to have faith in himself, to trust, and in so doing, letting go of his need for control, tied directly to that anger of his.

For Cas, it’s facing and fully accepting the innate humanity he’s always displayed, trusting in it and having no reason to question, doubt or fear it.

So if we get a series ending where Dean is finally having pronounced faith (in himself, not in a higher power) (which is why God as the Big Bad is especially fitting like omfg), and this faith allowing him to tap into his sense of trust (in others rather than himself, but also this extended trust being possible thanks to his newfound trust in himself) and this sense of trust brings about some much needed inner peace, then Cas’ role in Dean’s arc has been fulfilled. 

And if we have Cas bringing his accrued understanding and internalised humanity (trusting that his sense of compassion is a strength, not a weakness) back to Heaven in order to bring about actual balance and finally mending what he himself has played a large part in breaking apart, then that would fit with Cas’ overall arc and the lessons Dean, as a role model, was meant to teach will be implemented. 

Neat.

Except.

Except for the fact that, if Cas goes fully-fledged angel, returns to Heaven and the series ends on him staying there, these three narratively unsatisfactory points hold true:

He will still, when dead, be bound for the Empty

He will be giving up his family

He will, end of the day, be embracing duty over freedom

Yeah, we need to talk about these three unsatisfactory points, fam.

1. The Empty

Ah, yes, here we go. 

The lay of the land is that Cas made a deal with the Empty to save Jack. I wrote a long meta on this so I won’t go into too much detail, save to say that it’s a deal that left Cas promised to the Empty, with the twist that the Empty won’t claim Cas before he gives himself permission to be happy.

Yeah. Ouch much?

I’ve already argued my point for why I doubt Cas will die, but what would happen in a scenario where Cas returns to Heaven fully-fledged, meant to remain there for the rest of his… existence?

I would suppose there would needs be a reckoning between the Empty and Cas before Cas commits to this return, because since they planted the Empty lording its deal with Cas over Cas’ head as recently as 15x13, I have a hard time seeing the writers solving this plot point with anything less than us seeing Cas relaxing into a moment of happiness-permission.

That said, let’s say they do. Let’s say there’s a flick-of-the-wrist solution. I don’t think there will be, but for the sake of argument. And by flick-of-the-wrist I mean we get the Empty showing up in a moment where Cas is truly happy, but the Empty’s appearance doesn’t hold sway thanks to some external force: Jack or Death herself, rather than an internal triumph linked entirely to his individual arc, or in any way linked back to Dean. 

(and though some may argue against the love story being canonically viable) (though I’d argue that it is) (the fact that Dean and Cas share a profound bond and a different dynamic to Sam and Cas, and even Dean and Sam, is canonically established) (through both grief!arcs for Dean) (and through Cas choosing to leave in S15 having everything to do with Dean and absolutely nothing to do with Sam)

Solving the deal with the Empty is fairly easily done, even though the flick-of-the-wrist solution won’t be as satisfactory for most of us who know Cas and root for him, and even if the flick-of-the-wrist moment could conceivably come with someone powerful enough (like Jack or even Death, who, though she won’t do hands on interference, seems to have made a promise to the Empty that it will get to go back to sleep once all is said and done) (but, as we know, Billie speaks in riddles), despite the viable characters possibly powerful enough to destroy the Empty, actually destroying it immediately feels, to me, like too big of a cop out and I doubt the writers would even consider it. 

Again, this is very much based in my reading of the Empty as Cas’ Shadow, and Cas’ Shadow shouldn’t be destroyed. 

For it all to symbolically line up, the Empty should be symbolically integrated. 

(the way Michael - Dean’s Shadow representative - wasn’t destroyed, but instead had his essence swallowed down by Jack, becoming a part of him instead, and all that symbolic toxic masculinity poison inside Jack leading to all sorts of narrative repercussions, needing to be levelled out by Jack growing enough to retrieve his soul and return his own internal equilibrium) (which, in turn, is highly symbolic on so many levels) (but enough digression)

Based on this, once the battles are won and God has been defeated, the Empty would remain. So even though the deal is dealt with through whatever means it’s dealt with: that dark, vast, nothing would be the place where angels who die go to suffer a restless, horrific sleep.

For eternity. 

And that’s my first argument for why I personally do not want Cas to remain an angel past the conclusion of the show: the Empty looms as victor and will eventually get to claim Cas, even if Cas gets out of the deal he’s made.

I mean, how likely is it that Cas doesn’t face death at some point, really? He’s pretty prone to dying, especially dying for what he believes to be right. 

Digression into The Middle Ground as it should be tied in here:

The Middle Ground

Scenario the Third —> 

Is there a middle ground here?

Now, here’s a bit of a rub, because way I see it, exploring if there’s a possibility of Cas ending up neither fully-fledged nor human needs to be based in the assumption that Cas isn’t getting his powers back at all.

Which means that, in this middle ground scenario, whatever exchange that occurs between Dean and Cas in 15x18 has nothing to do with them. 

For example, the heavy scene that Jensen and Misha were talking about Dean and Cas suffering through could have to do with Jack, though if something terrible is going to happen to Jack or if Jack is going to sacrifice himself for the greater good, I have a hard time seeing Sam not being present.

However, for arguments sake…

In this scenario, where Cas doesn’t power up, we should thirdly assume that we’re left with there being no reason for Cas to choose a human life either. 

He simply remains in the same shape and form in which he currently is. 

The same shape and form that he’s held since S9, when he suited back up after the human!Cas arc and readied himself for war, necessarily and formidably and to his emotional detriment for many years as it brought on his darkest arc (Lucifer possession). 

This choice was a narrative necessity, because human!Cas was already growing into his own skin by 9x09, and it’s made perfectly clear why Cas had to go through it all, because he had to face his fear of being useless without his powers, and unaccepted as an equal and nothing more than expendable with them.

So, would the middle ground scenario - keeping him as is, with all the character progression intact and him, clearly, set to grow and evolve beyond the series’ ending - be narratively satisfactory?

And by narratively satisfactory I mean that this scenario:

ties up loose ends

justifies the obstacles Cas has had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression

leaves us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative

I’ll get back to this, but for now I’ll reiterate how Cas remaining an angel in any shape or form, be it the one he’s had for many a season, or a new and powered up version, still means, as per our narrative, that he’s going to have to spend eternity in the Empty.

So, no. 

To me - not satisfactory.

Now for the second point up for discussion, should the series end with Cas becoming fully-fledged and returning to Heaven to stay there —>

(while bearing in mind that this is all conjecture and based in my reading of this narrative) (don’t forget them pinches of salt, my loves)

2. Giving Up His Family

Would he have to give up his family, though? If he goes fully-fledged and returns to Heaven to lead in any capacity, doesn’t that just mean that he’ll hear Dean’s prayers and return as often as he can? Which, if their previous track record is anything to go by, would be often. It’s not like this is an ending, right?

Well. 

I think it has to be for the narrative to actually have a conclusion. 

They could half-ass it and leave the ending open to interpretation, sure; but the question as it stands to be answered is for Castiel to choose between being an angel and being a man, and narratively the half-assed answer is how he’s been living for the majority of his journey.

He has, since S9, been sincerely stuck between these two modes of existing, one foot in Heaven and the other out of it, and for a lot of his progression, this half-assed state of existence has meant horribly broken wings and thinking himself only useful as a weapon.

The narrative itself has pushed for Cas’ internal conflict to be centered on how to honestly answer the question of what his true identity is, and the only way for him to answer it honestly is to gain perspective enough so that he’s able to take a long hard look at who he wants to be.

Due to this, Cas’ internal conflict, since S4, has been circling Cas’ avoidance of being honest with himself. (perfectly mirroring Dean)

So for the narrative to end on the answer being angel, only for Cas to continue to be allowed to half-ass it (because it would be too sad to watch him make a choice that means giving up his family) leaves his journey, and all those hard-learned lessons, coming across as rather pointless. 

He was stuck half-assing it for all these years because he hadn’t found the needed perspective to answer the question honestly, so if his honest answer is angel and this honest answer is meant to bring self-actualisation and a step toward real internal balance (or internal completion, if you will) then leaving him in a half-assing it state as the narrative concludes is unsatisfactory.

Let’s look again at the ways to narratively satisfactorily end Cas’ journey:

tying up loose ends

justifying the obstacles Cas has had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression

leaving us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative

The answer is yes to all of these points if Cas becomes a fully-fledged angel and STAYS in Heaven, with no detours to Earth, because angels aren’t meant to walk the Earth, and it was them walking the Earth after staying away for two thousand years that really started this whole roller coaster ride of destruction and mayhem, right? Right.

Castiel making peace with his past and accepting the fact that he was never meant to live an earthbound existence, taking all the good things humanity has taught him, and fully embracing his own innate humanity in order to take away the fear and indoctrination of Heaven, would make for a satisfactory ending to his individual arc.

At least the superficial reading of it.

And I’m not about the superficial reading of it. 

And of course I don’t want this for Cas. But looking at it from a purely narrative viewpoint, I can see how this could work.

It just means that Cas would have to recognise his ties to Dean for what they are (in this scenario): a teachable moment. And Cas has learned his lessons. And he’ll always be grateful, but it’s time for him to let go.

Yeah, like I said, I don’t want this for Cas or for Cas and Dean, but I can see it as viable. More viable than Cas half-assing it as a fully-fledged angel, because that leaves a much bigger narrative exclamation point for me in that it basically invalidates the necessity for his broken wings and rebellion as part of his character growth.

If he’s going to land back exactly where he started, then he should’ve been able to get there fully-fledged. But, of course, he couldn’t get there fully-fledged because the writers couldn’t work him into the narrative if he was powered up.

He was always too powerful an ally to the very breakable brothers, and if he’d been fully-fledged throughout, it would’ve messed up our sense of the stakes.

But now, should he be allowed to half-ass it as fully-fledged once the narrative has ended, his brokeness, which has always been so essential to his progression, will come across much less as an integral part of that, and all the more like nothing but a narrative necessity, rather than a way to structure and explore Cas’ needs as a character for internal growth that have always, so beautifully, mirrored Dean’s needs.

Of course, if Cas were to choose to go back (forever), then there’s the highly satisfactory tie-back potential of a goodbye between Cas and Dean linking right back to the end of S8, giving us the gravitas of the “ET goes home” moment in full regalia.

It would be heartbreaking af, but for it to hold that gravitas, ET really has to get on that spaceship and go off home forever this time. You know?

In my book, it would be the tragedy to end all tragedies. *please no*

3. Duty over Freedom

This is a big one for me.

It’s a big one because the overarching and driving themes of our narrative have always had to do with —>

identity (and self-worth)

family (and loyalty)

freedom of choice (and duty)

And the constant push and pull of these three thematic threads decrees the ups and downs of Cas’ progression, as well as Dean’s, because of the way that their deeply rooted view on duty is directed at everything and everyone but themselves, and this view on duty is informed by their sense of loyalty, and that sense of loyalty is all askew due to their lack of self-worth.

Sam has this same duty-triggered sense of loyalty as well, though in a slightly different guise, because though Dean and Cas have both been messed up by their respective fathers’ indoctrination into soldierdome (the root of the root of their view on duty) Sam’s sense of duty is to his father figure, which is Dean. 

Sam may have rejected feeling any sense of duty towards John, but the codependency has ensured that Sam is still stuck in the same pattern, has learned it, one might say, through looking up to Dean and, to my mind, knowing the sacrifices Dean has always made, putting Sam first, no matter what, and the codependency has held due to Sam’s diminished self-worth after every choice he made during his time with Ruby. 

Defeating the devil and saving the world, in spite of those choices, wasn’t enough to heal the trauma he inflicted on his own self-perception, and his trust began to seep out of him with every new situation lobbied at him where control was taken away from him. So he handed that control over to Dean. And let him lead. Because it was just easier. 

(I love this show so much) (the threading is so breathtaking)

Now, back to Cas —>

The narrative has worked to teach Cas a lesson.

The lesson of choice.

But making choices without having the self-worth to trust your innate instincts, as well as having an understanding of your own morals and boundaries, is a recipe for disaster.

As the narrative has shown us, time and again.

Each horrific choice Cas has made has been pushing for him to gain enough self-insight that he’ll learn from his mistakes, and grow.

And he has.

There is the darker side of duty, the one where one does what one has to, where one makes the bad deal, where fear is allowed to govern one’s sense of direction, and old patterns are easier to remain in than forging new ones.

This is the sense of duty all of our main characters seem set to break away from.

But, of course, their core traits are also informed by their deeply felt need to protect innocent life, to step in where they know they’re the only ones who can actually make a difference, to take responsibility for ensuring the safety of people who are in harms way.

Yah, this sense of duty (the one that makes them into actual heroes) is informed by the good side to loyalty.

What they need to break away from is following old patterns blindly, without asking themselves what they actually want, and without much planning or hope for the future. 

So if the scenario we get is the one that gives us Castiel, Angel of the Lord, where he goes back to Heaven at the end of the series, with all the bells and whistles that comes along with that, allowing Cas to actually bring about some sense of peace and order and fix his home, then we still get the unsatisfactory ingredient of Cas reverting back to old patterns, because we have this stated:

You listen to me. Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you… It’s been the best part of my life, and the things we’ve shared together - they have changed me. You���re my family. I love you. I love all of you.

We have it narratively stated through dialogue that Cas:

considers his time on Earth the best part of his “life” (a very human thing for an angel to say btw)

that what he’s shared with the Winchesters has changed him (and we’ve seen that manifested in all of the choices he’s made throughout S13-15 where he stopped serving Heaven, began serving Man only to, by beginning of S15, start to serve himself, listening to his own wants and needs and setting clear boundaries for how he expects to be treated)

that he considers the Winchesters - and, of course, this now includes Jack - as his family

and he loves them

He loves them. One might say that his heart is, symbolically, earthbound.

Back to the bulletpoint overview of how to narratively satisfactorily end Cas’ journey and, keeping in mind the three points discussed above of what remaining an angel at the end of his journey would actually mean for Cas as a character, we ask ourselves:

Does him remaining an angel satisfactorily tie up loose ends?

Does him remaining an angel justify the obstacles he’s had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression?

Does him remaining an angel leave us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative?

For me, it’s a pretty big and hella bold-lettered no to the first two, and a meh to the third one, because yes, we’ll get a good idea of what a Heavenbound Cas might do with his existence, but it’s not a satisfactory yes, because of all the already mentioned reasons. 

He’ll have answered the identity question by choosing Angel as his reply, but that reply nullifies so much of the emotional growth he’s done over the years, and goes against the multitude of narrative statements given to us of where he feels he belongs.

So, nothing else to do but to discuss the second possible scenario on our checklist, right?

Yaaaaassss indeed. Not going to lie. I’m partial to this one. Pardon me if my love for the human!Cas arc shines through. (it glitters and sparkles)

So Very, Very Human

Scenario the Second —> Cas’ powers are fully restored and…

We get to witness that heartfelt goodbye between Dean and Cas, but then, instead of staying in Heaven, we get Cas, fully powered, gaining the perspective he needs of who he truly is and who he wants to be, leading to a series ending where Cas chooses to become human, returning to Earth and all the shenanigans of a hunter life.

My main reason for standing so firmly behind the idea of Castiel cutting out his grace and choosing a human life is anchored in the three thematic tentpoles of this narrative’s push for character progression.

As already mentioned, they are:

identity (and self-worth)

family (and loyalty)

freedom of choice (and duty)

The in-between state Cas has been hovering in since Dean’s death at the end of S9, an in-between state that won’t be satisfactorily concluded (as per my above argumentation against it) through him becoming a fully-fledged powered up angel of the lord warrior of Heaven again, would be satisfactorily concluded should he choose, for himself, that where he wants to be, where he belongs, is with his family.

He belongs on Earth.

And the foremost reason for why he belongs on Earth isn’t actually based in the fact that it’s where those he loves are, it runs deeper than that, because in order for Cas to feel whole, in order for him to feel, as the narrative has put it more than once in the last few seasons, complete, he needs to accept what his true form is, he needs to open up to what the narrative has tried to teach him and show him, for all these years, that it is, and that true form is human.

Do we need him to feel whole? There are plenty of broken people in this world, right? Why can’t Cas be representative of someone who has found his place, regardless of whether he’s all fixed up? Perhaps he keeps his broken wings and still changes his attitude from feeling like he’s a “thing” to thinking of himself as simply himself?

Perhaps he already is doing exactly that?

This line of questioning brings us back to —>

The Middle Ground

Let’s reiterate Scenario the Third: based in the assumption that Cas isn’t getting his powers back at all, and we’re left with there being no reason for Cas to choose a human life either. He simply remains in the same shape and form that he’s more or less held since S9.

Now, I’ll ask it again: would the middle ground scenario - keeping him as is, with all the character progression intact and him, clearly, set up to grow and evolve beyond the series’ ending - be narratively satisfactory?

Does it tie up loose ends?

Does it justify the obstacles Cas has had to overcome in order to get to where he is in his progression?

Does it leave us with a good understanding of what the future holds for him, judging from where he’s at in his arc at the conclusion of the narrative?

Well, let’s see.

Does Cas remaining as he has been - broken wings and all - tie up loose ends?

Loose ends for Cas would be the fact that Heaven is falling apart; the deal with the Empty; answering that overarching question of Angel or Man? (no longer considering himself an in between thing); claiming the place where he belongs (a Cas is Back in Town moment); displaying a healthy sense of duty (shield rather than weapon) and narratively being rewarded for Big Lessons Learned.

Loose End: Heaven is Falling Apart —>

As mentioned, Cas has tried to fix his home since end of S5, where he declared that was he was going to do to a grief stricken Dean, and left (oh Cas)

Cas’ first attempt was to bring what he’d learned about free will to Heaven, trying to teach it to the angels, discovering, to his great despair, that it’s like trying to teach poetry to fish, but, again, I would argue that Cas wasn’t fully equipped to act the teacher, and because he forced himself into the role, seeing no other way to beat Raphael than to push for the type of rebellion he learned how to stage through his time with Dean, it ended with Cas’ confused sense of identity manifesting in him morphing into the figure he’d hoped could save them all: God.

Rather than believing he was enough, he could see no other choice but to become something else entirely, something that went against everything he truly believes to his core to be right, turning him into something violent and discompassionate, pushing him to finally admit the error in his choice, only to have it be too late, and that choice ending up setting the Leviathan loose on the world while he died in that lake, paying the ultimate price for his mistakes.

This part of Cas’ backstory, the deep failure, the shame, the guilt that came with it, has been underpinning Cas’ lack of self-worth and, more importantly, his lack of self-trust ever since he came back in 7x17. 

This is why Heaven now sitting on the brink of collapse is tied so specifically to his character journey and why it’s an important loose end that is in need of tying up, not only plot wise, but as part of a narrative statement clarifying Cas’ progression.

How so?

Because there should be good reason - whether Cas stays on Earth as is, or whether he makes the choice to become human - for him to feel at peace with that choice, and especially if Cas is to stay as is - broken wings and all - there’s even more reason for us to understand that he’s no longer in-between Heaven and Earth: he’s able to let Heaven go.

So if Heaven is no longer crying out for him to, out of sheer narrative necessity, stay dutifully tied to that sense of guilt and shame that his previous failures have placed in him, keeping him feeling ever so responsible for his birthplace, making it rather impossible for him to actually weigh what he truly wants for himself, then once Heaven is balanced out, what we might get to witness is Cas able to definitively let Heaven go. Cas making one final choice of remaining on Earth, and making it for himself.

Saving Heaven from this threat of continued errosion is most easily accomplished through two narrative tools that are already established in the narrative:

Jack using his powers to help restore this balance 

or an archangel returning to Heaven and restoring a semblence of it’s former glory (Michael might change his mind...for example)

Both these things can happen without Cas being fully-fledged, nor does he need to be human, he can stay just as he’s been and Heaven can still find balance. 

One could even see how Heaven actually being balanced out at the end of the series and Cas being allowed to breathe again could be structured into serving as his narrative reward for Big Lessons Learned. Because there should be a reward at the end of Cas’ journey. He’s literally been to Hell and back. 

The thing is that for that reward to be apparent to us, we need to see the moment where he truly earns it, a moment that establishes that he’s not only aware of what the narrative has been pushing for him to learn, but the Big Lessons are internalised and his journey has worked to evolve him.

The simplest way of showing these Big Lessons Learned to the audience and clarifying this moment of Cas earning his reward, is by giving us a sense of Cas choosing. 

Why? 

Because the narrative, as already offered, is based in the theme of Freedom of Choice, and ideally Cas’ choice would tie directly in with the other two overarching themes of identity and family.

Which lands us in this question: What exactly would Cas be shown to choose should he remain as is? 

Because, to my mind, Cas remaining as he is makes it pretty difficult to show him making any sort of choice, since he is literally just staying as he has been, especially as he has been since he made that choice back in 13x04 of returning from the Empty to Earth, being sent back in his old vessel. 

See, he’s already chosen where he wants to belong, and S15, if anything, has underlined this choice having been made, through Cas’ confrontation with Dean, Cas leaving the bunker because of Dean, and then returning, before Dean apologised, because Dean being a dickhead no longer interferes with Cas’ sense of self: he knows where he belongs.

(and without him returning nothing will change) *slow eye-brow raise*

And it may not have been an overt Cas is Back in Town moment, but it came damn close.

So, then, what choice does he need to make?

For me, the choice isn’t where to belong, because the answer has been given to us through his actions since S13, but especially throughout S15, but rather the choice still ahead of him is how to belong. 

And lest we forget, should Cas choose to belong on Earth as an angel, he will still, by all accounts, be headed for the Empty once all is said and done, Because at the end of it all, the Empty will (most likely) get to go back to sleep. I cannot see it going bye-bye. 

So the fact remains that, even if there’s some way out of Cas’ current Empty deal, there’s nowhere else for Cas to go when he dies.

And after everything he’s been through (and as per the romantic in me) shouldn’t he get to go to Heaven, and shouldn’t it be a shared Heaven, one where his soulmate resides? I would argue with my last breath that the answer is yes.

But, my loves, there’s only one way for him to get there. 

Oh, let me add that I don’t believe Cas still has his soul, because then he wouldn’t have gone so completely to the Empty after his angel death. Honestly, I like it better that way, because the humanity of humans is often professed to reside with their soul, but Cas is a statement of how one’s humanity is actually tied to one’s choices, giving us an excellent example of how it doesn’t matter what you are, it matters what you do. 

Jack’s choices, for example, may have become heavily influenced by him losing his soul and his ability to feel fully, but most of his mistakes were brought on because of the lack of guidance he suffered. WWWD was not a very good piece of advice, and had Dean been the one to take on the responsibility (which he couldn’t, because of his suspicion rooted in all his own fears, but if he had) then the outcome would’ve most likely been a different one. 

I’ll leave the How Cas Can Get Into Heaven topic for now, and focus us back on the loose ends, because the one that sticks out the most - at least to me - is how, if Cas were to remain as he is, neither getting his wings back nor choosing to become human, we will not get an actual answer to the narratively posed question of Angel or Man?

Loose End: The Question of His True Identity

Cas remaining as is, isn’t a final choice. 

It may be an acceptance of how he has to remain broken and somewhat stuck in-between if he’s to live on Earth and be with his human family, but it’s not a choice, not really, not this late in the game. 

For me, this isn’t a deal breaker (in fact, no scenario really is because I in no way expect all of this to be hitting the spot to a T anyway) but it would be highly unsatisfactory.

Why is it so important to get a definitive answer to the Angel or Man question? After all, it was posed six seasons ago and perhaps the narrative has actually moved on from it?

Yes, this is absolutely a good point and a possibility at that, and, again, I am in no way deluded enough to think that all of this speculation will hit on what we’ll actually get with even the slightest precision, but for my own sake (which is really why I’m outlining all these thoughts yeah?) I want to push for why I still feel, to my core, that leaving Cas with broken wings, even if he finds self-worth and self-actualisation in that half-state, there is something deeply unsatisfactory in the loose end of not actually answering the question of which side to him - the angelic or the human - that actually brings him the most happiness.

(I almost wrote “which side to him actually sparks joy”) (but no) (I mean kinda yes he should Marie Kondo his insides) (we all should do that once in a while) (them mean thoughts and them self-destructive impulses?) (yeah they can go) (anyway…)

Not giving us a definitive answer to the question of identity is especially dissatisfying as the narrative, for over ten years of character journey, has shown us how miserable it makes Cas to not be earthbound. In fact, the one time he made the choice to go back to Heaven and close the gates behind him forever in order to save humanity, the narrative said nope, don’t think so - and brought him right back to humanity. By making him human.

I will concede to this being my interpretation of Cas’ journey, because nowhere in canon is this stated, but way I see it, Cas has been transitioning from angel to human since the second he touched Dean in Hell.

And it’s not a desire placed there by Dean, it’s something Cas has carried within himself, a curiosity, and a seedling of doubt, ever since he came off the assembly line with a crack in his chassis. 

Gripping Dean tight and raising him from perdition merely served to give Cas’ already existing curiosity, and doubt, something to actually focus on. Something to focus on so hard that all the brainwashing done by Heaven couldn’t keep it at bay anymore, because it’s part of who Cas truly is to question authority, to seek free will, to not be used as a weapon, but to step in and act the shield of his own volition.

Which brings us back to the second scenario, which I’m now going to expand on —>

So Very, Very Human (again)

Remember those three tentpoles of this narrative’s push for character progression? 

identity (and self-worth)

family (and loyalty)

freedom of choice (and sense of duty)

And what were all those loose ends in need of being tied up?

Heaven is falling apart

The deal with the Empty

Answering that overarching question of Angel or Man? (no longer considering himself an in between thing)

Claiming the place where he belongs (a Cas is Back in Town moment)

Displaying a healthy sense of duty (shield rather than weapon) 

Narratively being rewarded for Big Lessons Learned

I am not saying Cas has to become human in order for his journey to conclude 100% satisfactorily, thus spake the lords of storytelling; I am open to (no I mean it sincerely) whatever is headed our way, whatever the writers choose as an ending that is satisfactory to them, I will accept it, whatever guise it takes, yeah? 

This is simply my personal preference for what would be the most satisfactory to me, and I’m making that statement now, because I’m about to go headfirst into outlining exactly why. Thanks for sticking with me this far. You’re awesome. *heart eyes*

Okay. 

Human!Cas. 

Before we look ahead, I’d like us to look back, all the way back to S9 and the human!Cas arc, because I’d like to explain, briefly, why I put down the need for a Cas is Back in Town moment amidst those loose ends.

You see, when Cas first experienced mortality, we all know it started rough. It started with him feeling lost and being all alone and getting himself killed and then it continued with him believing he’d finally come home to roost in the bunker, only to be inexplicably thrown out, by Dean, and then Cas went on to find himself a human persona (Steve) and learning to mimick other humans and doing simply what he figured was expected of him, and then Dean came into town and because Dean encouraged Cas to get in on the case, Cas was brought into a situation where he had no choice but to face the fear of getting himself killed again, only this time he’d probably stay dead - a fear that had been festering like a terrible festering festerer - and once he’d done that, he was able to finally admit to himself that “Steve” wasn’t anything but an armour and he dropped that armour and then we got the Cas is back in town moment of 9x09 fame.

So.

It would be awesome for him to have another Cas is Back in Town moment. 

Why, exactly?

Because that’s the moment in the human!Cas arc when we are shown, unequivocally, that Cas’ sense of identity is flourishing. He is choosing to insert himself into the investigation, even though the last time we saw Cas, it was when he was told by Dean Touchstone for all Things Human Winchester to go and live his life, basically having it explained to him, by his foremost role model for what humanity is, that life, and specifically this newfound life of Cas’, should be lived away from dangerous things. 

Cas being back in town, and happy and proud to be so, is all about Cas embracing his innate need to protect, even if that means risking his own life, and choosing a hunter life for himself, finding his way back to the people he loves by being entirely honest with himself about who he is and who he wants to be, not allowing fear to rule him. 

He follows his heart, you might say. (go on, you know you wanna say it)

And yes, out of narrative necessity - because Cas can’t see how he can help save/heal Sam or stave off the brewing war as a human - Cas then chooses to swallow stolen grace and get his powers back, which, btw, brings about the most heartbreaking phone exchange between Dean and Cas ever. Ow. My damn heart.

So then, that’s the human!Cas arc in brief, and the core reason for why I feel so very strongly that Cas - who screwed himself by swallowing that grace, unable to see how he could possibly be useful in the fight as a human, even though he displays a stronger sense of self as a human than he ever has as an angel - would be happiest, at the end of his journey, if he were to end it on making the choice to become human, to live a mortal life, with his family, on Earth.

And, yes, then, rather than spending eternity in the dread Empty, getting to go to Heaven with the man he goddamn well loves, innit?

Ah, but there’s more. Oh, yes.

1. Identity

In ways that remaining an angel narratively simply cannot provide, Cas choosing to become human would cement the end of his transitioning period and would be the final marker for those Big Lessons Learned.

The Big Lessons presented to him throughout the narrative, meant to bring him to a point of growth in his progression where he can finally and honestly and without hesitation answer the questions Who am I? and Who do I want to be? ie. What do I want? 

And, yes, if the answer to these questions were: Human. and To live a long and happy life. then this would also answer the question of what Cas’ true identity is, ie. it would provide the conclusive reply to the Angel or Man? query.

And yes, of course, so would the reply Angel, but as I’ve attempted to demonstrate through my above argumentation, replying Angel still comes with dangling loose ends.

I would also argue that Cas’ happiest moment could be, and even should be, tied to his moment of self-actualisation, his moment of finally being honest with himself, not only honest about where he truly belongs, but how he wants to belong there.

He’s been missing that PB&J, but he has never believed that he would be of any use in the fight if he doesn’t have his powers. He’s been unable to actually see himself as part of the Winchester clan if he doesn’t have something to bring to the table, because the last time he tried, he was left with what he saw as no other choice but to admit defeat and swallow that stolen grace, so that he could power back up and feel ready, feel less vulnerable, find those old, worn patterns and take comfort from them. 

To have Cas restored to full strength - because I do believe it would be a beautiful moment, not just for Cas, but for Jack as well, and if Dean is there, then it would be an all around gorgeous moment of healing - to then have Cas, with all his powers, finally admit that he doesn’t want them, because he doesn’t need them anymore, they’re not as much a part of him as they’re a helpful side effect to being an angel, and he doesn’t belong in Heaven, he doesn’t want to be in Heaven, and he may not know exactly what a human life will entail - he has an inkling, since his stint as a human, but there’s still so much he’s never experienced - he just knows he wants it.

And this would all be brain-crackling, full of satisfaction and tying up of many loose ends, as well as underlining the actual necessity for Cas’ journey through all of the Big Lessons Learned. *feels*

There could be stakes added here, tying back to S8 and the closing of the gates. To bring about balance, perhaps the gates of Heaven and Hell need to close for good? Ie. there’ll be no more angels and demons walking the Earth. So the choice for Cas wouldn’t be an in between one, it would be an either or. Stay in Heaven forever and remain an angel, or go back to Earth, but go back as a human. 

It fits the narrative if anything like this were to happen - Cas being confronted with an ultimatum that forces clarity - because Cas isn’t contemplating cutting out his grace. Not yet. He’s safe within the status quo and sees no reason to question it, not even with the Empty popping up to remind him of their deal.

Aw, yes, let’s explore how the Empty so neatly ties in with Cas’ fear of happiness. (perfectly mirroring Dean) 

Now, remember, I’m looking at this with the Empty as representative of Cas’ Shadow, which, in Carl Jung terms means the Empty is a manifestation of Cas’ unconscious. 

The Shadow, made up of repressed thoughts, desires and feelings, doesn’t trust that anything will ever be okay or that anything good will last - it’s up to oneself to consciously strive to dare to believe in such things, and conquer one’s unconscious fears, because if our fears are allowed to influence and rule us, then real happiness will be difficult to accept as lasting, and the emotional roller coaster will feel safer than actually standing still in a balanced frame of mind.

The Shadow is in charge of that roller coaster. It’s not really as menacing as it’s made out to be through the Empty, but it is still a side to oneself that one has to face, accept and integrate in order to find that balanced from of mind.

Looking at it from this point of view - and I do - the Shadow telling Cas to keep fearing that moment of happiness — because it won’t last, it will mean he’s bound for the Empty, and a horrifying eternal non-sleep, with no peace in sight — is a manipulative tactic to keep Cas from striving toward self-actualisation and integration.

Because if he does reach self-actualisation, if he balances himself out and gets a moment of perfect internal clarity, where there’s no need for fear, where he’s been able to be honest with himself and honestly LOVE himself in the process, then that moment of self-actualisation will allow him to see his Shadow clearly, and integrate it through acceptance of his own flaws - that shame and guilt and all of that fear of failure will begin to be healed, and his Shadow will have no more emotional buttons to push in order to keep Cas cowed, mistrusting of himself, and defeated.

His conscious self (ego) will no longer be ruled by his unconscious (shadow).

So how does Cas actually beat the deal?

I mean, from that above reading, I would say that a very effective way for him to break the deal is to stop fearing that moment of happiness, and by no longer allowing his fear to rule him, being able to reach his moment of self-actualisation, and the moment of integration.

Cas choosing to become human would be a moment of honesty, of self-insight, of acceptance. It would be a moment of deep, deep self-actualisation. A moment of real internal peace, followed, I would say, by a moment of true happiness.

So let me paint you a detailed spec scenario, because it demonstrates why I am so behind this idea, not that I think this is The Scenario, but because it simply makes sense and ticks all the boxes for satisfaction that are at the back of my head.

Fully-fledged Cas is in Heaven (which is balanced out thanks to Jack/Michael/Death or whatever constellation is created to Fix It) and Cas is now faced with the option to stay an angel, or to go back to Earth a human. 

He makes the choice - meaning his moment of true happiness. *identity based*

The Empty appears. 

But the thing is, Cas now knows what he’s found for himself by making this choice - a loophole.

He cuts out his grace doubly triumphant: he gets to go home, and the Empty has no hold over him anymore.

He is not for the Empty - he is human, and when he dies, he will go to Heaven.

It’s not about taking anything away from him or saying that he’s not fine just as he is, it’s building on the narrative push for him to accept himself, just as he’s always been, and stop fighting it, stop questioning it, stop worrying that he won’t be enough without his powers, that he won’t be able to contribute, that he won’t be looked at the same, because, in the end, when it comes to self-actualisation, all that matters is what you think and what you know to be your truth.

Self-actualisation is about your acceptance of yourself, it’s about your ability to love yourself through that acceptance, and it, in turn, opening you up to receiving love, knowing, to your core, that you are lovable and deserve to be loved.

With this scenario comes a Big Lessons Learned moment that sets Cas up for a reward. 

And what should it be?

2. Family

As already mentioned, we know who Cas considers to be his family: Dean, Sam and Jack.

If Jack doesn’t end up sacrificing himself for the greater good (which I feel is more plausible a death than any other), then his human side would, most likely, keep him on Earth. 

And then there’s Sam. Dear Sam. Who’s a friend in need and a friend, indeed.

Lastly, there’s Dean. And the depth of what Dean means for Cas, and what Dean narratively has meant for Cas’ progression, is pretty much impossible to overlook. 

I know I already brought this up, but I think it’s important to note, because whether we get a textual  pronounciation and conclusion to the subtextual love story between Dean and Cas, or whether it’s kept in subtext and merely strongly hinted at, the fact of the matter is that they matter to one another, more so than anyone else have ever mattered to them and this would, of course, provide the tragedy of a goodbye, should a goodbye be required, and the ending be tragic, but it also pushes on the very real fact of how a reward, in any guise, would most easily be tied to what they’ve narratively (and very canonically) have meant for one another.

Yes, when I say they matter more to each other than anyone else, this means even Sam for Dean, because Sam isn’t the character in the narrative put there to help push for Dean’s progression - Cas is. 

To put it plainly: the codependency is the placeholder, highlighting the progression that’s needed to reach self-actualisation. The trust and healthy challenges Dean shares with Cas is the opposite, underlining the fears he needs to face, and where he should get to emotionally, once he has reached self-actualisation. 

Cas’ relationship with Dean - and how Dean was a role model in all things human, at least up until the moment Cas stated there was nothing left to say and stepped out of that bunker, because he’d learned what he could and he had no interest in learning how to be so unforgiving, which was a Big Lesson, since it takes the label of teacher off Dean and allows him to be entirely something else - could easily serve as a satisfactory conclusion and statement of Cas having incorporated all the lessons of the narrative, especially since so many of them tie directly back to Dean.

Cas embracing his own humanity, for himself, without worrying about what that humanity might mean for anyone else, and believing himself deserving of love due to letting go of all those old fears, thanks to him reaching a point of self-actualisation, would mean that he would stop waiting for Dean to make a move, and might very well make that move himself. 

Personally I’m doubtful it will be textual, but what stronger statement could the writers make of who ends up with whom than to end the series on Sam with Eileen, and Cas returning from Heaven, human, and giving us something very akin to that Cas is Back in Town moment (even if it’s only in spirit)? 

It would serve to let us know that, of course, Cas isn’t fearful of his mortality this time around. He’s empowered by it. And him returning to the bunker, to his family, to the life, to Dean, signals to us how he’s very ready to get back to it all, including going out hunting (with Dean).

Simple. Neat. Non-explicit, and yet undeniable. 

Aka closure.

The good kind. You know? The one that leaves you exhilarated and dancing around your room laughing with joy at how amazing all the subsequent fanfiction will most likely be, exploring all of their post-series finale shen-an-i-gans?? Yeah, that good kind. 

*head exploding*

Most of all, for the people out there who, like me, are thirsty for satisfaction, they will remain Team Free Will (hopefully 2.0), they will remain a family, they will remain. 

There may be new dynamics to work with, but they will still be them and they will remain as close as they ever were, with the promise of them all growing even closer, following each other’s continued progression as they all move into a new phase in their lives. But together.

3. Freedom of Choice

Cas choosing to become human would effectively demonstrate to us how he’s leaving behind the yoke of his previous sense of duty. 

Instead of praying for guidance, or relying on external forces to dictate what his actions should be, he’ll still be doing what has to be done, but he’ll be doing it purely reliant on his own personal view of the world and his place in it.

This would be a rather remarkable way to address how so many of his choices have been made under duress, either because he’s been manipulated into them without having the wherewithal to see through the manipulation (Crowley, Metatron, Lucifer) or because he’s simply felt lost, mistrusting his inner compass and unable to follow any gut instinct that would’ve otherwise been able to guide him.

In making the choice to become human, Cas would cast off his past, shake it off, as it were, and move into his future, free to take it as it comes in a way we’ve only seen him be once before. (as a human)

I suppose my hope is for our love story to grow into the text before the end, but I’m also very aware that we’re rapidly moving towards the 11th hour, and I doubt we’ll get a last-minute confirmation or the show ending on a kiss between them, because this show isn’t about them. 

What’s important to remember, however, is that the fear of happiness runs deep in Dean as well, and Cas has been shown to provide Dean with a source of happiness that he doesn’t get from anyone else, so if Dean’s journey is to end on a high note, and he’s to face his fear of true happiness  and believe he deserves to be loved and the reward being… not linked to Cas in any way? I have a very hard time seeing that happening. So, I have faith.

What I hope for, more than anything at this point, is for an ending definitive enough that we don’t have to wonder and we don’t have to make it up for ourselves. 

An ending that is open enough that we know they will continue on, something for us to build on, and we most likely and most happily will build on it for ages to come, no matter what we get (at least I will), but still, an ending, a conclusion, a statement.

Closure.

*for the love of Ash’s hair*

To Summarise

Here endeth my long speculation and gentle argumentation for Cas to choose humanity at the end of our remarkable narrative. 

To give a brief overview of the points I’ve tried to make (hopefully I’ve succeeded in making them) (whether you agree or not is a different matter) —>

In 15x18 Cas makes the choice to return to Heaven to act as commander of the (handful? or will Jack be able to make more as his powers grow without, you know, transforming human souls?) of angels still there and make a concerted effort to defend Heaven, while Dean, Sam and Jack rally the troops on Earth, and Rowena rally the armies of Hell (please!)

He gets his powers back because the choice is the right one to make as he narratively needs the perspective in order to truly decide who he is and who he wants to be, and the reward for that right choice is that he doesn’t have to face the final battle with broken wings

There’s an ET goes home callback that makes us all fucking cry when Dean and Cas say their goodbyes, Dean being supportive af because that would be awesome, showing his progression

All the while, Dean wishes, fervently, that Cas would just stay, and at some point it would be doubly awesome for him to vocalise this

There is the possibility that everyone understands that if they win this war with God, and things start going back to “normal”, the best thing for everyone would be for the gates of Heaven and of Hell to close, but this might also be something that’s realised once the war is won

(of course it will be won) (thank fuck)

So, either Dean and Cas’ goodbye makes us cry because there’s the understanding that Cas won’t be able to just flit back and forth between Heaven and Earth as he pleases and so it’s really goodbye

Or it makes us cry because it’s still the end of them, as Cas is bound for Heaven again, and their relationship seems to be reverting to S4 status like N-O P-L-E-A-S-E

But because the gates of Heaven are closing (or not) Cas is pushed into making this choice for himself, and naw, he’s not going to stay in Heaven

The moment he makes the choice to return to Earth as a human, the Empty shows up to claim him

But the loophole allows Cas to tell the Empty to fuck right off as Cas (or another angel) cuts out his grace and he falls back to Earth. (in his human vessel) (if Metatron can do it, then an archangel such as Mike or even someone like Naomi, if she comes back on the board, can do it) (eh?)

Cas reunites with the gang, Sam and Eileen are lovey dovey, Dean and Cas are happy for them, and either they part ways here, Sam staying with Eileen, Dean and Cas heading out to Baby, or they stay together, a family unit, with Jack as well, of course, and it’s not like everything is perfect and they’re surrounded by a white picket fence and there are butterflies fluttering, because there’s still evil in the world that needs to be hunted and fought and they’ll always have work to do, but we see them together and we just know they’ll be alright.

All is peace.

And we are done.

FADE TO BLACK.

Buh-LIEVE me, this detail spec is not what we’re getting and I know it isn’t, but I wanted to write it out to explain what I got in my head, why it felt viable to me, and why the worry that they’ll give Cas his wings back and pack him off to Heaven and leave him there made me feel the need to write down why that is just not a good idea. (!!)

Do I actually believe they would ever do that?

I actually don’t. But, by that same token, I don’t know they wouldn’t. And to calm myself, I had to write out why I actually don’t think they would. Because narratively I cannot see how it would ever actually work that he becomes fully-fledged and goes away. You know?

Either he’ll remain as he is, and the Empty, and the sad parts that come with him not actually self-actualising before our eyes will simply be what it is, and I’ll accept it as it is, yeah? 

Or he’ll become human.

He won’t die again. I just do not believe he will. But hey, I’ve been wrong before! That’s partly the fun of this. It’s always so satisfying when you get it even in the ballpark of close to what we actually get on the show. Mh mh goodness.

What’s interesting to me, though, is the whole callback to S8 idea that hasn’t really left me alone since it got in my head, because it would be so lovely and so heartbreaking and so poignant. For Dean to be put in a situation where he supports Cas’ choices and does so without hesitation, but where he also ends up being compelled to say something, to tell Cas he wishes Cas could stay, or hopes Cas will come back or anything that just speaks to how Dean has let Cas disappear one too many times without properly expressing how, maybe, Dean would rather Cas stuck around.

It would, of course, tie back to the prayer, and to how Dean was absolutely ready to look Cas in the eyes, even though there were less then three minutes left on that ticking clock, and tell Cas what he’d felt compelled to say when he thought he was losing him again. There was no need for Dean to repeat it in purgatory, but maybe that was foreshadowing for what’s yet to come.

Even with the impossibility of Cas actually staying, because they have a war to win and Cas is needed elsewhere, it would be lovely if this is the moment Dean makes it clear that, under different circumstances, Dean would have preferred it that Cas stayed.

And for Cas to, instead of having humanity thrust upon him, the way it was in S8 when Metatron tricked him and cut out his grace, getting to choose it this time, and choose it for himself. 

The ET goes home moment would reflect S8 kind of perfectly, but with an actually happy outcome, hinting at a new human!Cas arc and, for me, that would be as good as textual Destiel because they’re on fire in the human!Cas arc. Like, they are moving towards something actual and tangible, the way they’re flirting with each other in that bar. I don’t think there is a more endearing or adorable moment than Cas drinking his beer and paying Dean a compliment and giving him a wink. And Dean then returning the flirtation. 

Um. Yes, please.

By the way, let me make it absolutely clear that there’s no doubt in my mind that the culmination of the love story in no way is relying on Cas becoming human. This isn’t a They Both Have to Be Human to be Together argument, because Dean has been in love with Cas for a long time, long before the human!Cas arc. It doesn’t matter what form Cas takes, to Dean Cas is Cas. 

The question is one of obstacles. We ask ourselves: what’s been stopping them from actually being together this whole time?

To me, all the choices that the characters make throughout S9 is an enormous turning point for all of them, but especially Dean and Cas during the beginning of the season, as their choices give us so much of what they need to do, what aspects of themselves they have to address, if they’re ever to find their way out of self-destruction and self-doubt, and into self-worth, paving the way for them being able to believe they deserve the love that the other has been proffering for all these years, and actually seeing it in its true light, accepting it, trusting it, and returning it without any inhibition.

Add to that the already mentioned shared struggle, as Cas and Dean have always had a deeply rooted fear of happiness, and we can all see the obstacles they’ve had to overcome to get to a place where they can share a healthy relationship.

They have had to build that healthy relationship with themselves first, and the reward at the end: happiness and love. *fingers so damn crossed though*

It really would be beyond amazing if we have it textualised, however subtle it may be, by the end of the series, that they are each other’s happiness, and that, without the other, there’s not much happiness to be had. There’s moving on and there’s not giving up and there’s finding purpose outside this one relationship, of course, but a long and happy life?

Not so much. 

To me, this is a fact that has been covertly explored throughout the entirety of their joint arc, because whenever one of them disappears out of the other’s orbit, their progression pretty much crashes to an absolute halt, or even undergoes serious regression. I talked about that in that other long-ass meta I mentioned, so if you’re hungry for more… 

I digress.

My final point, really, is that getting to witness  Dean letting Cas go, supporting him returning to Heaven, and Cas rightly feeling compelled to fullfil his duty, because it will lead to him being granted the choice of who he truly wants to be, would be mind-blowing. And if it all leads to an underlining of how Dean is taking the narrative lesson of easing up on his need for control, learning to let go and trusting that it will be alright in the end, which then leads to the love of his life returning to him, and Dean, finally, understanding that this is what Cas always does - he may up and leave, but he also always returns.

Only, this time Cas is staying…

I mean. Right? Anything like this. Anything even in the vicinity of this. Oh my God. I’ll be dancing.

I’m intrigued by the fact that Cas is subtly set up as a blindspot for Chuck the Writer, who’s first draft when at Becky’s house doesn’t even mention Cas. I have a feeling Cas will be a pivotal ingredient in them winning this stand-off, as he’s proven himself to be already, throughout S15.

And I’m intrigued by the phrase that has occurred at least twice in our narrative since end of S14: I had to die to get what I want. 

Could Cas almost cutting out his “life force” and bringing himself to the brink of “death” (angelic, as it were) be foreshadowing for how his angelic side has to die in order for him to get what he wants? 

I guess we shall simply have to wait and see, eh?

End of the day, it’s a question of legacy. And I’m just very curious to see what sort of legacy the writers room are gearing up to leave us with. I have every faith - all the faith - that no matter what we get, it’s going to be

s p e c t a c u l a r.

[dreamofasupernaturalchamber]

Dabb's Dream of a Red Chamber: Dean, Sam, Cas, Jack, and the roles they play

In my last post, I explored how Dean starts off as Qin Keqing in S14 but becomes Lin Daiyu later on in the season. The transition point is 14x13-- the 300th episode. I always found it funny that Dabb chooses the Ruyi Baozhu to start this episode. It's a Buddhist item, and of course, SPN becomes very Buddhist toward the end (which is why everyone hates the finale). What I want to talk about today is Baozhu as both a pearl and a name.

This name appears in Dream of a Red Chamber. Who is Baozhu? One of Qin Keqing's maids who volunteers to be adopted by her after her death so she can play the role of the daughter during the funeral. She then becomes a nun after the funeral-- fitting, no, considering her name? Let me tell you this: a monk (and this gets interesting, but I'll get to that later) arrives at Lin Daiyu's home when she's young and says the only way she'll live a long life is if she becomes a nun. Obviously she doesn't choose this route. But going back to SPN--Dabb twists the Baozhu into another Buddhist message-- so why not use some other artifact from Buddhist lore? Why Baozhu?

I think it's because Baozhu is the combination of the Bao from Baoyu's name, and Zhu, which means pearl. The emphasis is on the pearl, which makes sense-- Dabb isn't going to involve yu, or jade, when Cas (the character corresponding to Baoyu) is secondary in this episode. Dean is the one who makes the wish, and so the treasure is going to represent him.

So who is associated with pearls in Red Chamber? Qin Keqing, for one-- she has maids who carry "pearl" in their names. And Lin Daiyu, who is the reincarnation of the Jiangzhu (Crimson Pearl) Fairy. She's also associated with the Jiling Pearls, which foreshadow the Jia family getting dragged into the royal family's power struggle.

But Dean is nothing like Lin Daiyu, readers might say! He's not sickly. We'll get to the sickly part later-- let's first talk about Lin Daiyu and what she represents.

First and foremost-- Lin Daiyu represents rebellion. Not literal rebellion (although if I'm not wrong, the Jia family gets into huge trouble for aligning themselves with the wrong princes), but rebellion against societal conventions and patriarchal feudalism. The last thing Baoyu wants to do is take the imperial exams and become an imperial bureaucrat-- but this is exactly what his family wants him to do. This is what Baochai, Shi Xiangyun, Xi Ren, and all the girls want him to do-- except for Daiyu. Daiyu tells him, "You should do what you want." And so they think of each other as zhiji, which I suppose can be translated as soulmate, but really means "a friend who knows me." A zhiji is a friend who knows your soul.

And this fits Dean and Cas-- Dean is the one who encourages Cas to rebel against Heaven. Dean is the one who asks Cas what he wants. Dean is the one who bucks convention; he's the subversive one, the one who represents free will.

(And as a side note, Qin Zhong, the younger brother of Qin Keqing, is another one of Baoyu's more subversive loves-- he dies just as Baoyu's oldest sister is made the highest ranking imperial concubine, which indicates that Baoyu's attempts to buck against feudalism are destined to fail and foreshadows Lin Daiyu's death. Qin Zhong, Qing Zhong-- his name tells us that Baoyu is a lover.)

Dean doesn't die from what looks suspiciously like TB, which is how Lin Daiyu dies in the last forty chapters of Red Chamber-- however, we know that those chapters are ghostwritten and doesn't fit her panci, or the poem that foretells her fate, the hints that she's married off for political purposes, or Zhiyanzhai's footnotes which indicate that she dies of a broken heart. Zhiyanzhai is very likely the coauthor of Red Chamber, and their notes indicate they were there for most of the events of the story (Red Chamber is thought to be a retelling of how the author's family fell upon hard times-- of course, there are other interpretations too, which I will talk about in a separate post). Dean dies from a broken heart two times. The second time takes.

Now let's talk about Cas and Baoyu. Baoyu is usually considered the reincarnation of Shen Ying Shi Zhe, who is a heavenly monk in another dimension. He waters the Crimson Pearl Grass every day, and she becomes a fairy as a result; it's hinted that he falls in love with her, which threatens his cultivation/enlightenment, so he runs off to the human world to gain more enlightenment, and she follows him and decides to repay her debt by crying all of her tears for him (the lyric "don't you cry no more" comes to mind). Yes, Lin Daiyu is the fairy this blade of grass becomes. Yes, Shen Ying Shi Zhe is responsible for giving her life, much as Cas is responsible for lifting Dean from perdition.

Cas also falls from Heaven to experience love, but up until Dabb took over, this was usually framed as a positive thing. I'm-- not quite sure Dabb actually frames it as a positive thing. Cas's ending calls to mind the endings of the gods/fairies who fall from grace because they fall in love in Chinese folklore-- they either become human, or they become enlightened and regain their standing in the heavens. Baoyu's real ending is unknown, but it's not hard to guess that he becomes enlightened and goes back to being Shen Ying Shi Zhe-- which would match nicely with Cas's ending.

There's another version of Red Chamber (there are multiple versions-- again, remember, this is a work of metafiction, and this will come into play later) where he's considered to be one of the rocks Nuwa was going to use to patch a hole in the sky, but was discarded. We usually interpret this rock as the piece of jade Baoyu was born with, but I do want to point out this version, because Cas, given his performance in the later seasons, also fits this description.

Then there's Sam-- he contains shades of Baoyu (he marries someone after Dean dies, but he's never happy, which is what happens to Baoyu; this is foretold in a song Baoyu hears in Bo Ming Si), but I'm going to argue that he is Baochai. Who is Baochai? The other girl in the love triangle-- Baoyu loves Daiyu, but marries Baochai instead (this plays out differently here). What does she represent? She represents money (there's the gold radical in chai, and it's often said that her union with Baoyu is a marriage of gold and jade, and her family is exceedingly wealthy). She represents adherence to tradition. She and Daiyu are like "sisters" at one point, but that falls apart because Lady Wang hates Daiyu and wants Baochai as her daughter-in-law instead. And even though Baochai and Daiyu top the first volume of the beauties, they share a poem that foretells their fate; all the other women get their own poems. And what's Baochai's fate?

It's a one liner-- a gold hairpin (chai) buried in snow. I've seen all sorts of theories flying around that she's supposed to die in the snow, but honestly, I think the ending in the ghostwritten chapters is probably close to what was planned for her. She marries Baoyu, but he leaves to become a monk and she lives alone in the Jia family. In the ghostwritten ending, she also has a son. Her room at the Jia's mansion (she lives with them)? It's compared to a Snow Hole; she's a minimalist when it comes to interior decoration.

And let's look at Sam's ending. He basically lives in a shrine to the dead with his one son, and it's clear his marriage was short-lived (no pictures of the wife). His ending is a perfect match for Baochai's.

And then there's Jack. I compared Jack to Baoyu in the previous post, and again, if you look at the stories of Shen Ying Shi Zhe and the rock (especially when you consider that Jack was born to stop the apocalypse/make the world a better place), you can see the similarities. But he also represents other characters-- Daiyu and most likely Prince Beijing, who's the head of the four princes, or the old guard; those two characters are connected through Baoyu, which makes for a nice trio of characters.

How does Jack represent Daiyu? There's the way he's not entirely welcome in his own home (Lin Daiyu lives with the Jia family, and Lady Wang dislikes her immensely.) There's the way he dies in 14x08-- from what looks suspiciously like TB, just as Daiyu dies in all the TV adaptations and in the ghostwritten chapters. He changes identities after this death -- he becomes the prince.

Let's finally talk about Prince Beijing. He's young-- under twenty. The Jia family is close to him. He clearly plays a role in the power struggle-- if we're going off the real prince he's based on, then he should be in the faction against the dowager emperor, which means he's loyal to the emperor, but most analyses claim that he's not loyal to the emperor. One piece of evidence for the latter viewpoint: he attends Qin Keqing's funeral in full regalia, which is considered disrespectful, and hands Baoyu a bracelet of Jiling pearls that the king gave him to symbolize their brotherhood. That's-- not what you do with what the emperor gives you. It's just not done. (That being said, I can see the real prince getting away with that, because he was the real emperor's favorite brother.) Baoyu then hands Daiyu those pearls, and she throws them away. Later on, Baoyu will hand Daiyu the prince's straw coat and she tosses it away again. She doesn't accept anything from Beijing until she's forced to. We can interpret this as Daiyu disapproving of Baoyu's alliance with Beijing (and there are other interpretations that assert Beijing is responsible for marrying off to distant lands, but since the last forty chapters were never written...).

This fits Jack. He's TFW's only hope against Chuck, who is both the emperor and the dowager emperor in this story. Cas has faith in him, just like Baoyu likes Prince Beijing. Dean doesn't have faith in him, just as it's implied that Daiyu doesn't have much faith in the prince either. This is where the meta gets very interesting, because who is Chuck? The writers? The network? What does it mean if he's both the emperor and the dowager emperor? I'm going to talk about this next in a post on the meta structure of SPN and Red Chamber.

What I want to point out before I end this post is that it's very likely Dabb planned these very controversial endings for Dean, Cas, and Sam-- I doubt censorship had anything to do with it. SPN may have been a story about a fight between the writers and the network, or it may have been a Buddhist story, but either way, I'm pretty sure SPN ended exactly as Dabb meant it to end.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

15x11. A game of cosmic moves, heroes, and queer subtext

This was a very interesting episode that is about a game. The game being played by two cosmic forces: God and Death. The gamblers from the title refer to both the players in the pool hall, but also to the big game that is being played by Billie, who previously mentioned taking “a calculated risk” with breaking her rules. She’s playing a game and we wonder whether Chuck is realizing that.

But it’s also an episode about people handling phallic objects and playing with balls the entire time, which has a long history on the show of being associated to Dean (and men). Plus there are swords (the phallic object for excellence) and hearts, specifically hearts ripped out, which have a long history on the show of being associated to love and sex (2x17 Heart and multiple other werewolf episodes, 11x13 Love Hurts...), and it’s no coincidence Dean mentions suffering from “heartburn”: while it’s about the digestive system, the word itself evokes the heart. Of course it’s also about Sam, who’s texting Eileen at the beginning. But it’s also about Cas, who faces another soul-sucking angel, and much has been written about that kind of mirror back in the time of 10x20 Angel Heart.

So, Fortuna. And, interestingly, her son who is called Pax, which is Latin for peace, and thus drops the concept of peace/paradise in the episode. The pool hall is run by Pax, and it works a bit like heaven, especially the old way heaven was run, when the Grigori literally fed off humans’ souls. If you replace ‘luck’ with ‘soul’ you really realize what this episode is about and what it parallels to.

In fact, I think that the episode purposely blurs together callbacks to angels and demons: the pool hall Grigori torture scene is reminiscent of Alastair, for instance, there are callbacks to Crowley, to Abaddon*, to soul-selling deals (the cowboy mentions having gotten a year of extra life, the amount of time Dean got when he made his demon deal...), but also to Michael (who literally trapped Dean inside a bar, like Evie was forced to work at the bar of the pool hall) and heaven.

*In 9x17 Mother’s Little Helper, which also features Dean playing pool (and Misha’s unsubtle directing choices), demons stole souls to make an army for Abaddon quickly, and Sam released them. The episode also featured the concept of addiction - Dean and the First Blade, Crowley and human blood, the title of the episode itself refers to drugs - and now the pool players are unable to stop playing until their luck runs out, although the game is rigged.

Now, Fortuna is a clear parallel to Chuck; she keeps people trapped in her joint to play for her amusement or whatever, just like Chuck does with his narrative. But I mentioned before replacing ‘luck’ with ‘soul’, right? That makes Fortuna the goddess of ‘soul’. Who’s the cosmic lady that rules over souls and is also making someone play the moves of her own game? Yep, Fortuna is both a parallel to Chuck and Billie. Who are indeed the players of the cosmic game that is being played.

Fortuna “reads” the players like they were stories, just like Chuck writes people like characters, but also like Billie reads the destiny of people from the books in her office. Now, Fortuna calls Dean a “beach read” and laughs when he calls himself a Tolstoy, which is a clever bit because what really is a beach read is Chuck’s pulp novels, it’s Chuck’s narrative for them, while the real Dean (et alii) are much more complex and interesting than what Chuck’s story would reduce them to. Her dismissal of Dean and interest in Sam also mirrors Chuck in a way, and we wonder whether there’s some reason for that: Dean is better at pool than Sam, as Dean states and Sam doesn’t contradict him. Pool becomes the way they challenge the deity that is pulling the strings, and Sam loses. Is it a coincidence that the thing they were supposed to trap Chuck with in the last episode was shaped like a smooth ball...?

But I also think that this could be foreshadowing of Dean & co. also putting their foot down with Billie, because it’s pretty clear that whatever plan she has for Jack, they won’t accept to play it like she wants to. The Ma’lak box plan has already been labeled a bad idea by the narrative, and I’m sure that the story will frame Billie’s plan also not as the good thing to do, but they’ll find a third way between Chuck’s story and her plan.

Fortuna differs from Chuck in a fundamental way: she understands what makes a hero. Eventually she rewards them despite their loss -- it’s not about winning, it’s about trying despite zero chances of success. They went against the goddess of luck in her own joint, they were doomed from the start, yet they tried anyway, because they care. Reminds you of something? Death made a deal with Dean, his brother’s soul in exchange of being able to being Death for a full day. Dean lost, and yet Death rewarded him anyway, because Dean was never going to be able to succeed, but he showed something in his attempt.

Fortuna’s power outdoes Chuck’s “damage” (they indeed have an “average” luck: not because they are “normal” now but because they have wins and losses, they lost Jack and now they get him back, and so on...) because she acknowledges them as “heroes” -- not because they defeated her, but because they tried anyway. It’s not being exceptional, not being stronger or whatever, but it’s about being... very human. Trying against unsurmountable odds. People against something bigger than them. That’s why they are heroes -- because they’re human.

They’re human and they care about others, even if they’re strangers. Fortuna and her pool hall are a strong parallel (even in visuals, and, well, in the inevitable homoerotic subtext layer) to Lee’s bar. Lee's bar was based on the sacrifice of innocent victims so that he could prosper; Fortuna steals luck off the people in the pool hall, until they’re sucked dry, except of luck instead of blood. Lee, in fact, was killed with a pool stick, and the meta about the homoerotic subtext writes itself. Here, the homoeroticism is maybe less ridiculously blatant than in the episode with Lee, but, hey. Dean first plays a light match with a woman, then an intense match with a rugged man with a cowboy hat; Sam only plays with a woman. Yeah. *stares at the camera*

Last week, the episode with Garth was a manual of queer subtext, now the focus is more on other aspects, but it’s still an episode about pool, i.e. sticks and balls and shooting things inside openings. I think I don’t have to explain here. You have the history of pool in the show -- Dean and Ash, Dean and Crowley, Dean and Lee... but there’s also something that is not strictly about sexuality but in general about existing as a societal “other”, an outcast, a “freak” in the Dean side of the meaning since forever in the show.

Sam states that he learned to win at pool from his brother, and acknowledges that they had to hustle all their life to eat (a little reminder that they didn’t always rely on magical credit cards to pay for living expenses...), but Sam’s history with pool wasn’t an easy one. At the beginning of the story, he was against using that kind of things to get money. From 1x08 Bugs:

Dean: So what are you saying? That Dad was disappointed in you? Sam: Was? Is. Always has been. Dean: Why would you think that? Sam: Because I didn’t wanna bowhunt or hustle pool -- because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak.

Abnormality versus normality, big theme of the show and particularly clear in season 1. Sam rejects the hunting life, the life he led with Dean and John, to seek a “normal” life. But he was always trapped in a mental trap made of the concept of “freak”, because of the life he’d led growing up and the sense of being unable to fit in with normal people. On the other hand, Dean armored himself with the claim of being “abnormal”, or not fitting with normal people; but that was a mechanism of defense because he was troubled by being different. Except that the story explored how Sam’s “difference” was tied to the supernatural (his tie to Azazel, the demon blood) while Dean’s “difference” was always framed as something fundamentally human, fundamentally tied to his relationships with people. You know what the subtext was always about.

So hustling pool was always a metonymy for a wider picture, the life the Winchesters led in the margins of society, in an underclass environment Sam rejected and took a long time to accept, and Dean embraced because he felt like he couldn’t belong anywhere but there. (“I’m a freak among normal people because I’ve been raised in an abnormal environment” versus “I’m a freak so I belong in an abnormal environment”, in substance.)

So, hustling pool doesn’t equate queerness per se. In Sam’s case it definitely doesn’t, but Sam embracing it equates him embracing being different in a class sense and in a general hunting-life sense. But in Dean’s case, his “being different” was always connected to a different set of subtextual meanings. Sam was “wrong” because of the demon blood and all that jazz, Dean was “wrong” in a sense of societal expectations.

So pool is connected to queer subtext in a stricter sense but also in a larger sense, the semantic area of otherness, of outcast, of freak, of being in the margins. And they play for the ability of going against God -- a God that, in Fortuna’s speech, is framed in opposition to other deities (non-christian deities, female deities, non-white deities) and that represents societal order.

Now about the game. In 5x07, whom this episode is obviously a big parallel to, the high-stake game was poker. Another obvious parallel is to the Ingmar Bergman movie The Seventh Seal, where a man plays a game of chess against Death.

In 5x07, Sam won, now he loses. It’s a fundamental difference that brings us back to what the current narrative is telling us about what makes a hero. All the stuff about luck and whatnot is irrelevant -- Chuck wants us weak, Dean says, and he’s probably right, Chuck is doing this to undermine their confidence, but it’s not a matter of strength/weakness or even confidence. They’re heroes because they’re human, because they’re not special. Against someone stronger than them, like a deity, they lose. But the point is that they play. That’s what matters. They’ve always faced adversaries more powerful than them, situations where they couldn’t win. But they fought anyway. And now, Fortuna is right in saying that they need to fight Chuck by their own rules, not the rules of his game: Chuck will win his own game, because he’s God and they’re just human. But if they play their own game, it will become irrelevant that they’re just human and he’s all-powerful. And, of course, their game means more players, just like Garth attacked the big vampire from behind.

The point is that Dean and Sam aren’t particularly strong or special in any way. They’re going to win because they are not alone.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Inherit the Earth (15x19)

That was somehow simultaneously a crowded mess, and a complete anticlimax. I'm literally just like... super confused and afraid about what the finale is going to be now.

Cons:

Sam's the dog person. That's part of canon. I liked the moment when Dean found the dog, or whatever, but I wish Sam had gotten a moment with the puppy too, before Chuck took it away. A small thing, but one of those typical wrong details in Buckleming episodes, where it just honestly doesn't seem like they know the characters very well.

Lucifer and Michael have a fight in the Bunker and Michael takes Lucifer out really, really easily. So like. Remember when the first five seasons of the show were the buildup to the Apocalypse, and Sam sacrificed himself for an eternity in Lucifer's Cage to stop it from happening? Apparently a fight between the two archangels is just a bit of fisticuffs, nothing to get worked up about. That annoyed me. But I guess consistency has never been something this show has cared much about...

Also just... Lucifer in general, coming back for like five minutes so he can mug at the camera and then be unceremoniously killed? Here's the thing: we had Billie as Death, and she hated them but maybe it would have been interesting to see her and the boys team up to figure out Chuck's ending... but instead, she's gone, Lucifer gets a pointless return, provides us with another Death, who is there for two seconds, says a couple of vaguely funny lines, and then dies... and we still never find out what's in the book.

The fight with Chuck was so badly edited! It was so weird to see him just wail on Sam and Dean, and repeated shots of him hitting them, and them getting up, while he kept saying "okay fellas, enough, please stay down" over and over again. Given that the whole "erasing the people from the world" thing was so much like Infinity War, I kept comparing this fight with God to the climax of Endgame. In that instance, you have a small group of intrepid fighters going up against a big bad evil, and then just at the moment when they're run down and helpless, the whole crowd of friends returns and joins in the fight. Instead of that, it's just Jack showing up and absorbing God's powers, and then they leave him begging on the beach. Not a bad ending for Chuck, which I'll get to in a moment, but the epic-ness was seriously missing from this final showdown.

So, when Jack returned the world to its normal state, did he bring back all of their friends, too? I want to believe this was something that Covid took away from them, where instead of seeing shots of Charlie and her girlfriend, of Donna, Jody, the girls, Bobby, Eileen, they were forced to use stock footage of just random people around the world returning. Would have been cooler to see the epic return... and also super weird that Sam and Dean sit quietly in the bunker talking about free will, and we don't see Sam pull out his phone and call his girlfriend, like... I get not wanting to muddy the ending of the episode with a lot of fallout stuff, and I'm sure we'll get that next week? Like, I hope, anyway? But as it stood for this hour of television, it was super weird to me that the boys didn't immediately want to check on all of their friends to make sure everyone had returned from the dead.

Jack becoming the new God is actually a totally appropriate ending, people were speculating that he'd be the new God or Death or Empty, or some cosmic entity, anyway... and this honestly felt very fitting... BUT, I will say that there are two really, really stupid things about it. One, his "I'm everything and everywhere now" speech was super cheesy... "I'm in the air and the rocks and every drop of rain" or whatever. Such a cliche, I was almost painfully embarrassed listening to him. I honestly would have preferred less is more, here. Like, what if he'd said the stuff about how humans can be their best when they need to be, that was a good line... and then Sam says "what if we want to see you? Grab a beer?" And Jack just says "I'm around" and then vanishes, leaving it vague? I think the idea of a hands-off deity is perfect, of course... makes sense for the "free will wins the day" ending we've got going here, but I didn't think stating it outright was the best move.

The second reason Jack becoming God was rendered kind of comedically awful in the way it happened is... well, elephant in the room, let's talk about how Cas was handled in this episode.

Here's a quote from last week's review:

"I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends."

And... yeah. Look, I know there are people on Tumblr right now saying that this episode being the "brothers only" ending means that next week we'll get Cas back and Dean will confess his love or whatever... but y'all, it's not going to happen. I'm sorry. I'd love to be wrong. If I'm wrong, I will gladly eat crow and celebrate along with the rest of you, but I just... I've been burned before. I know what's going on here, and it's not what you think it is.

Dean was undeniably devastated in this episode. We see him drinking to excess, falling asleep on the floor, grasping onto tiny moments of joy like with the dog and then being furious and upset when they fall through. But that devastation was not textually about Cas specifically. Sure, there were moments, like him telling God to bring everything back, and then namedropping Cas specifically. Or the way he ran up the stairs when Cas' voice was on the phone. But what I'm saying is? Those are crumbs, there for those of us who care to gobble up, easily ignored and subsumed by the larger losses the boys are suffering. Sam is devastated too, guys. About his girlfriend, about Charlie, about Donna, and Jody, etc. etc. etc. Who's to say their grief is any different from one another, even though they're handling it with different coping mechanisms? The "I love you" wasn't even on the "previously on".

Like. There's a universe where Dean does get a moment of Cas-related catharsis in the finale, even though Misha's not coming back. Maybe he has a private moment to grieve just for him, to contemplate that specific loss. But I'm telling you: I don't care if an openly gay man wrote 15x18, I don't care that Misha found it moving. The bottom line is, Cas confessing his love for Dean was the moment of catharsis the show was willing to offer us. We ain't getting much else.

So going back to Jack, why on earth does nobody suggest that maybe when he's popping the rest of the world back to the way it's supposed to be, he also brings Cas back? This is what I'm talking about with contrived sacrifices. Last week, they could have written a way for Dean to get out of that scrape without Cas dying. And this week, Jack's determination to be a "hands-off" God is not enough to explain why he wouldn't restore his father Castiel from the Empty. Especially since Chuck brought Lucifer back from the Empty, proving that God can do that. Even though that contradicts earlier lore but whatever. The point is, I'm saying it's sloppy. Cas' death, Cas staying dead, does not feel like an earned inevitability to me. I'm prepared to eat my words if they bring him back in the finale, but even if that happens (which it won't), he's not going to be smooching Dean Winchester on the mouth, y'all. He's just not.

So then that ending. "Finally free," says Dean, completely unaware that he's echoing the theme from the end of season five but making it hopeful now for some reason? And that end montage felt like an ending 100%, and I won't say it was bad to see it, see all the memories, the characters... I mean, Charlie dancing in the elevator, getting glimpses of Ellen and Jo, Bobby, Crowley... I'm not going to complain about that, it was honestly quite fun, but it also felt extremely anticlimactic and gave us no sense of where the characters are going to go from here. And yes, I know we have an episode next week, it's just...

Here's the thing I'm scared of, and I'm going to go ahead and put it here in the "cons" section because I don't know where it belongs yet. Despite my complaints about this episode, thematically there was one thing it got right: the answer to defeating Chuck wasn't destined, it wasn't in a book of preordained endings. They had to come up with it by themselves, using the tools at their disposal, and they won, and they get free will now, they get the release from having someone else tell their story. Great. So... what does that leave us next week?

As mentioned above, I really don't think the final 43 minutes is going to be an epic gay love story where Dean fights to get Cas back, I really don't. That leaves us two options: either a tepid re-tread of the themes already established, an epilogue of sorts where we just get to see a life in the day, a new normal for the boys. I wouldn't be furious about this, but I also think it won't really feel like closure for me. They just keep hunting? They keep saving people? That's fine, I guess, but they can't really walk back the fact that God is their son, can they? When they die the next time, do they go to the Empty? Who is Death, now? Are Heaven and Hell okay? Are we meant to be convinced that nothing will ever come back to bite them in the ass, they'll live long lives, and a benevolent afterlife is waiting for them when it's over? I'm not convinced I believe in things being that simple, so it sort of seems like the show would end by saying "okay, and more of the same."

The second possibility is worse, though, that being a total status-quo shift, like the end comes and the Empty is after them and they have to become the new Death and Empty as some speculated, or some wild harebrained plot twist gets thrown in at the last second and undoes the actual good parts of the theme established here. I hope for the first, but I don't know that it'll make me happy, to be quite honest. I really don't want it to feel this way, but Cas being gone is the big elephant in the room, for me. It truly is.

Pros:

I did like the earlier parts of the episode, the eeriness and the helplessness of them being alone. Continuing with the Avengers comparisons, it was very similar to the long, slow opening to Endgame, where we see a lot of grief, a lot of helplessness, an lot of directionless moping. That felt appropriate and it made it all the more invigorating when Michael showed up, giving us a spark of direction in which to move.

While I thought the fight with Chuck was edited really strangely and didn't work for me, I did like this ending for Chuck. Very much like the end of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Chuck doesn't die, which he honestly would have found a satisfying, creative ending for his story. Instead, he gets to live on as a normal human, sans powers, and be forgotten. Brutal and appropriate! It ties back into the free will thing. Chuck can do whatever he wants with his remaining time, but he can't steal other people's choices from them any longer. It's the black and the white, the good and the bad, of being just... human. Which ties in with Sam and Dean being more or less hopeful about their outlook moving forward. (God, I'm so fucking scared they're going to screw up the few things I liked about this episode in next week's finales.)

Like I said, I did find Jack becoming God an appropriate ending for him as a character. It's the right type of bittersweet: he's there, and we can imagine that in the future, he does go visit Sam and Dean for a beer. Or maybe he doesn't, and that's okay too. Knowing he's at peace, knowing he's benevolent, and that he'll do the best he can for the people of the world(s). It's nice, a comforting deity instead of a manipulative overlord. And the fact that his benevolence and kindness and compassion are born out of a human mother, and two human fathers, and an angel who embraced humanity with everything in himself... instead of from Lucifer, who tried to create him in his image? Well, that's a lovely resolution for a character that became a surprising favorite over the years.

As I think I mentioned last week, I'm willing to let this show manipulate my emotions here at the end, when it can manage to do so. So yeah, of course I loved that Cas and Jack's names are added to the table along with SW, DW, and MW. Obviously that's adorable as hell. And as I said, the montage worked for me, it was certainly quite lovely. I just... like I said at the start of this, I'm just frankly terrified of what's coming next week.

I mean, here's the thing, I want an ending that honors Sam and Dean as the protagonists of this show, but I want it where they live in the bunker, and Eileen and returned-from-the-dead-Castiel live with them as their partners. If someone told me I couldn't change a thing about what's happened so far, but I could decide how the last episode went, that's how I'd end it. Showing a network of hunters getting support and able to live more stable, reasonable lives while still doing a dangerous job. Sam embracing his intellectual prowess and running things from the bunker, Dean and Cas going out on the road, Sam and Eileen going out on the road, or any combination therein. Jack watching over them benevolently from above. Jody and Donna and the girls living their best lives. Kaia and Claire as a couple, onscreen. A glimpse of a more stable afterlife, now that Jack is there to run things, the confirmation of a peaceful ending whenever our human protagonists do finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Peace, but change, too.

I just don't believe that's what we're getting. I can't believe it, and that makes me really frightened for what comes next week. I'm prepared to be pissed off. Quite frankly, I'm expecting it.

6/10

[tinkdw]

14x03 watching notes and mini meta

My feelings are summed up with this gif x:

So much good stuff, where to start?! Longer / specific meta’s to a topic are linked and underlined. Okay, let’s dive in :)

- Sam’s beard. This was too good I had to do a quick visual meta on it right after I watched it. Dean really loves scruff on men, has flirted with guys with scruff, literally told Cas he liked his peach fuzz, but on Sam? HELL NO thats my brother! Brilliant, funny, sibling jibing, cute and bi!Dean stuff Bobo, kudos.

- Dean’s repressing his memories and pretending he doesn’t remember just like Hell, a callback to season 4. While he’s got a different Supernatural scar (Michael wound v Cas’ handprint which is another Supernatural forced bond v chosen bond with Cas theme just as Amara was) and all the Dean / Michael parallels going on since season 4/5 pointed it out and Dean in the end bravely went against his duty and destiny to be true to himself instead of the Michael mirror he was supposed to be while now he’s being told/asked again “are you like Michael or are you your own person?” Next up: PROVE IT. Excellent.

- The perfunctory Jack hug v the Cas eye love making wow, I mean I speculated that we wouldn’t get a hug because thematically it made sense not to with the holding back and empty space theme between them so having a Jack hug but not a Cas one was so jarring and supposed to be. It was done so well to show how much deeper the feelings are between Dean and Cas without a hug. Wowzers. Dean is looking at Cas then Jack launches in to hug him which he accepts but then just continues to just keep staring at Cas. Those two can convey more with their eyes than most can do with their whole bodies, it was so intimate and so much while at the same time showing the whole empty space holding back thing we yelled about all of last year after the mirror opposite of Cas being restored to Dean, on top of the romantic music when the scene starts but crescendos like crazy as soon as Cas enters and ends when Dean walks out. Pfffft.

Kaia, Cas and Jack mirrors, Dean’s metaphorical “am I like Michael?” arc and all the rest under the cut.

- Kaia! My anon from last week was right kudos! I’ll admit to having been totally wrong about that link with the scar, this is cool! The symbolism of Michael, epitome of the metaphor of toxic masculinity and Dean’s hang ups being terrified of little queer girl Kaia is just... wowzers. So much symbolism there, meanwhile Dean is literally stuck in the middle being harmed both physically and emotionally by this tug of war. All we need is for Kaia to become textually good, be emancipated, to help Dean defeat Michael (come on, the symbolism of the two of them doing it together? With help from Dean’s family Cas, Sam and even maybe Jack?!) and we’re good to go on a Dean Sublimation Winchester to Dean Emancipation Winchester textual storyline. 

*grabby hands*

- Dean’s comment of “I didn’t mean to be a dick” while Jack’s all “everything is my responsibility” which is Dean’s MO makes me FEEL THINGS. 

- Dean is throwing himself into the case to avoid his feelings and left Cas behind with ease. IMO, totally metaphorical as well as useful for the plot. Leaving his feelings and things that make him emotional behind? Better leave Cas there then, can’t have Cas and all the feelings that go with him next to him just being Cas when he’s precisely trying to bury his feelings, running away from them. Sam then acknowledging that this is “kinda your thing” is great. Yes Sam.

- Note the different music between Cas and Dean and Sam and Dean’s “moments” >...>

- Jody loving Sams beard lol, I just... love this. Whatever meta wise, it’s gold :p

- SAM AND SERIAL KILLERS!!! Just before we get Dean and horror movies! Showing their different interests! Yasssssss :D :D :D :D :D THIS IS MY ENDING THE TOXIC CODEPENDENCY LETTING THEM BE THEIR OWN PEOPLE JAM!

- Jack was going to leave and now isn’t because he wants to help someone, he is truly a Winchester.

- IT’S MARKED GROSS STUFF. All the headcanons of Dean and Cas doing domestic shit around the bunker. Throw in Sam on occasion too where Sam and Cas both eye roll at Dean’s childish antics with indulgent smiles and you got me one happy headcanoning fangirl. Thanks Bobo :)

- One of my dads! *internal screaming*

- “My mum probably hates me cos I ran away” Sam mirror?! Jack mirror obviously, but hey everyone’s a TFW mirror. Everyone’s a mirror of someone who’s a mirror of someone these days. It’s hard to keep up.

- Dean’s barrelling ahead but Sam has actually done intel, he is the rightful leader here. Dean is an emotional liability. This is gonna rear it’s head.

- Ok but is the necklace clearly not cursed...

- “First love strikes quick and to lose it like that” - I mean!! 

A. Great that the GA get the textualisation that it was romantic that we’ve known since the ep aired, but great that it’s clearly canon now not just subtext. Though showing that clearly the subtext they did use (which was ALL DeanCas parallels) was supposed to show a romance story there >....>

B. Sam totally gets losing your first love to a Supernatural being and being set on revenge, throwing yourself into hunting to mask the pain. Jess rearing her head so late in the game is heartbreaking.

C. Insert matching gifs of Kaias death and Cas’s death too (which we paralleled to Sam x Jess and John x Mary at the time). Pffft. Then straight on to taking about Dean. More pffffft.

- Kaia was trying to stab Claire when they first met. Ok we get you want to write Destiel but openly queer Bobo, I love it, keep going.

- Jack losing someone and blaming himself while Cas looks like he is too. Jack is lamenting his powers... really to be a good Cas mirror he needs to find the solution here thanks to his mind and his human, powerless side to show this is just as powerful as having ‘powers’.- Oh look! He does ;) That’s not significant at all. Side eyes.- Cas is so proud :p

- Dean definitely seemed to have a Michael callback moment there. Excellent, I’ll be keeping a tabs in case it continues as per my spec that he will display Michael-esque behaviour over the season for plot and metaphorical reasons.

- Dean “I’m gonna do whatever it takes to defeat Michael” and going Michael on Kaia is an exact mirror of Nick murdering the neighbour in a fit of rage over “I’m gonna so whatever it takes to get revenge for my family”.

- Kaia / Bobo points it out that he’s like Michael okay lol hammer to the face but good that makes it simple :p

- Scared - “you always have been”. Flashback to Dean going nuts at Kaia and calling it what it is. Fear. No brainwashing, just Dean. As I said at the time >...> Of course it was all Dean and this is him too, it’s about how scared he is to be alone, to lose the people he loves, to feel unloved, unwanted, unuseful and all his hangups. This whole thing has been a giant neon sign pointing at Dean’s inner demons since day 1 and Bobo is clarifying for us just as Dabb clarified the Jack-Cas stuff earlier because of course it only makes sense to their character arc if they’re making their own decisions.

- God I love them.

- I’m already expecting stans to be mad that Kaia saved the 3 best hunters. *rolls eyes and moves* on ITS METAPHORICALLY SYMBOLIC and IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT.

- Jody feels like a John callback here about raising hunters and feeling like you’ve already lost before youve started whilst at the same time clearly is Bobo lamenting the loss of Wayward Sisters. Man... clutches heart strings.

- Cas “you made me so proud”. He’s so sweet and kind and argh. Proving that Jack is both hunter and angel. “Let’s go on a hunting trip” and Cas making soup?! End me! where’s the fan art?!!!!!

- Oh dear. Jack... Chekhov’s bloody cough.

- Dean actually opened up within one episode?! Wow. Character growth! He admits he was repressing and it was stupid. He admits he does remember some stuff as a clear mirror opposite to how long it took him to open up in season 4. He felt like he was drowning. Wow the depression metaphor. Now he feels responsible again. Sigh... a whole season of Dean pain. Well, we were prepared, let’s just tighten that seat belt.

- ALL THE HUGS FOR BOBO!!!

[orionsangel86]

13x01 - Episode Review - Part 2

"Nougat Winchester” and narrative mirrors in 13x01

It has taken me forever to finish this part of my review to the extent that we have already had another episode before I finished it! But rather than curse my inability to focus I’m gonna press on and complete this before I start my 13x02 review.

Ah Jack, Jack our little nougat Jack. The way the fandom has embraced you is very touching. The internet screams of “PROTECT HIM��� certainly show that Alexander Calvert has done an exceptional job of “pulling a Misha” and making us fall in love with him by the end of his first scene. I was not expecting that one bit. 

I’ll be honest and say that over the hiatus I haven’t paid too much attention to him. I did read some of the meta and speculation that @tinkdw and others put out there, but it was never really something I focused my thoughts on. I figured he would be another character that would test the team free will dynamic and would be a good avenue for the writers to comment on the concepts of nature vs nurture. I remember reading some speculation once the episode titles first came out about “The Scorpion and the Frog” and anyone who knows that story knows very well that the title itself foreshadows Jack going darkside – to his own potential destruction. (The scorpion, in carrying out its own “nature” and stinging the frog that carried it – not only doomed the frog, but doomed itself as well.)

Jack has officially won me over though. He was a charming innocent and funny character, and I think his interactions with Clark brought a lot of light to an otherwise terribly angsty and painfully heart breaking episode. (#bringbackClark2k17)

But what really blew me away was how both Jack AND Clark were such OBVIOUS mirrors for Dean and Cas and to a lesser extent to Sam. It amused me to no end. Therefore this review will focus on those mirrors, and what they mean. 

Long post under the cut

Jack is a narrative mirror of Team Free Will

This is the important thing to remember. He is all of them, and will have aspects of all them characterised into his personality as we continue to get to know the character in the coming episodes. 

I am sure that there are already thousands of words of meta on this topic (since I’m over a week late to the game) but I’m gonna throw my hat in the ring anyway.

The most obvious mirror we get from Jack is for Castiel. I have said already that Castiel was all over every single scene of 13x01. That Dabb didn’t want the audience forgetting him for a second. (thank you Dabb you wonderful man). I have already seen the many gifsets floating around comparing all of Jack’s “Cas” moments to the original famous Cas moments in the show - and we know that this carries over into episode 2 as well. 

Firstly, we can see immediately in the way Jack is dressed that he is coded as a Cas mirror:

Look at the tan jacket, the pale blue shirt, visually he is already a mini Cas. Remember they could have dressed him in ANYTHING. They chose a tan Jacket and pale blues. They chose these colours because this show has a visual library and certain things always mean certain things. Put someone in a tan coat or jacket and they are a Cas mirror. This is how these things work. 

(the bulls horns hand symbol does however have Lucifer connotations which ties him to his biological father whether he likes it or not - but more on that when I go on about signs and symbols).

Probably the most “Cas” like moment in this episode was this one:

(x)

Poor baby is just as literal as his dad:

(x)

But there are many more. The constant confused expression for starts:

(I’m still waiting for the moment he actually does the head tilt as we all know it’s coming)

The scene with the candy was delightful - and gave him the fandom pet name of “Nougat Winchester” which I have stolen from Lizzy as my new tag for him because its so fitting.

(and we like you sweetheart)

(on that note - I did find it interesting that Jack isn’t able to answer the Sheriff when she asks him for a last name. Surely he knows his mother’s name was Kline? Why didn’t he give her that? We were all calling him “Jack Kline” over hiatus, but now it doesn’t seem like its the case - personally I think this is because he will indeed get “adopted” as a Winchester and will use the surname at some point in future - probably in front of Lucifer causing a hell of a lot of anger. God knows the show has pointed out enough times over the past season that Castiel is a Winchester - leading to mainstream media giving him the last name:

Why yes I did add my destiel adjacent quiz results to meta about Jack. I have no regrets. :P

Anyway, as I was saying Jack is a huge Cas mirror, and his adorably gluttonous love of candy was a call back to:

Perhaps we can once again talk about angels and addiction and how this may affect Jack? Because they really don’t have the self control that human’s do (even though Cas was affected by famine at this particular moment).

So why is Jack a mirror for Cas? Well this is probably the first clue:

I screamed the first time I watched this moment. I think we all expected it to remain subtextual. We all know that this season will explore the role of fatherhood and how it affects each character, but this was so much more than we were expecting. Jack is a Cas mirror because he has majorly imprinted on Cas from the womb. He is first and foremost a Cas mirror because Cas is on his mind from the moment of his birth, and this reveal confirms it. Every question of “Father?” that he says so ominously in the first part of the episode is directed at Castiel. It is Castiel he was looking for, not Lucifer. 

I did say that Castiel was in every second of this episode, forcing the audience to continuously remember him and his importance - and this moment made me jump for joy. 

The way the episode continuously plays with the audiences expectations is really interesting. They want us to assume the worst of Jack, but each time he surprises us by delighting us with some adorable Cas like thing. Jack says “I’m hungry” and we are supposed to feel uneasy about that because just 2 seasons ago we had another very hungry powerful child who fulfilled her hunger by eating human souls. We are supposed to worry about Clark in that moment, and to follow the Sheriff down the darkened halls and flickering lights terrified of what Jack has done - but he is sitting there cross legged on the floor with Clarke surrounded by candy wrappers and proclaiming how much he likes nougat. Its a lovely moment and it forces the audience to change their minds completely. 

When Jack reveals that he thinks Cas is his father, our reaction is much the same as Sam’s, but we fall for him just like Sam does, and it sets the season up nicely because for once the audience is NOT supposed to be on Dean’s side here. (I’ll talk about this more in my review of episode 2 where it is more relevant but basically, we are supposed to feel sorry for Dean because we know that he isn’t seeing things clearly. We are supposed to root for Jack and be on Sam’s side in all this, and to see Dean as a character shrouded in a deep grief and anger)

I love that they made it textual that Cas is the father. (major flashbacks to 11x06 right now though)

“Jenny, he is not ready to be a father!”

I’ll continue jumping for joy over this as the season goes forward, but for now I want to talk about how Jack is also a mirror for Dean. Because he is and it again, wasn’t subtle. 

(x)

A young boy on a quest to find his father, to have to accept the death of his mother right at the start, and who is forced to grow up far quicker than he should? Yeah that sounds about right. 

Whilst Dean and Jack seem at odds with each other from the start, they are both set up as mirrors in their joint grief for Castiel. That heart wrenching moment at the end of the episode where Dean is wrapping Castiel’s body for the pyre comes only moments after we get to see Jack’s own grief for his mother so touchingly portrayed as a grip to her covered foot. Both Dean and Jack are only shown touching the feet of those they lost, there is probably some deep symbolic meaning to that linked to Christ and washing the feet of his disciples or something but I’ll leave that meta to someone far more versed in bible lore than me. 

We know that in episode 2 the Dean parallels get much stronger, with Dean being the second Winchester (after Cas) that he imprints upon. I’ll talk about this in my episode 2 review, and instead leave this here. Jack is Dean for his grief, and his ties to humanity, and how he has been robbed of his childhood. I am interested to see how they go about keeping Jack innocent. He is in the body of a man, but his mind is still so childlike. I hope that he becomes a symbol for Dean’s own innocence in a theme started in 12x11. 

Finally, the one touched on the least in episode 1 but probably the most significant to Jack’s own arc going forward - Jack as a mirror for Sam.

What so far is probably the least obvious in terms of mirror’s is actually the most obvious in terms of story lines. There is a reason Sam so desperately wants to believe in Jack, believe that he is good and can do good things. Because Sam has been in this situation himself. 

Sam’s entire early series arc was about fighting the darkness inside himself, fighting against his own dark powers that came from a place of evil, and resisting Lucifer’s pull. Sam’s been there. So of course Sam is rooting for the kid. Sam and Jack have the biggest connection in terms of their connection to Lucifer. Sam immediately tries to see things through Jack’s point of view. Yes, he’s not as tied down with grief and anger as Dean is - Sam hasn’t just lost the love of his life (though the deancas parallels to SamJess are very strong throughout 12x23 and 13x01 as well).

Sam still has hope, because he see’s himself in Jack. He knows he managed to resist that dark power, and he has faith that Jack can to. I expect the Sam/Jack mirrors to come through far more strongly in episode 3 when we see them interacting together without Dean there to cause conflict, so it will be interesting if we get to delve more into Sam’s past and trauma this season, as it’s about time the show focused on his issues around Lucifer.

Clark as the exposition for Cas’s return... among other things

I could talk for hours about Jack and everything he stands for, but right now I just need to add this about Clark, because boy did he pull focus. In an episode so heavy with grief and full of reminders of Castiel as well as establishing Jack into the audiences mind, Clark comes out of no where and almost steals the show (almost). 

When we are introduced to Clark only 5 minutes into the episode, he is mucking around with the menu changing every item into something ‘butt’ related. I could meta on this but tbh its so very on the nose that I don’t think it’s needed. You all know exactly what Burgers and Butts are making us think of. Its juvenile but its hilarious (my personal favourite is the salty butt combo - a bit of salt is a good thing especially in destiel fandom!).

So skipping past those obvious jokes, what interests me most about Clark is this:

“He’s fired me like seven times... and I keep coming back.”

Look at this face! Dark hair, Blue eyes, extremely charming? Hello Cas mirror!

also:

4x22 - Killed by Raphael

5x22 - Killed by Lucifer

7x01 - Killed by returning the souls (Dean thought he was dead before he healed himself)

7x02 - Killed by Leviathan

8x02 - Left for dead in Purgatory

9x03 - Killed by April

12x23 - Killed by Lucifer

At this point in the show, Dean has watched Cas “die” seven times. I don’t think the above was an accident. 

The fact that Clark then says “Around here, I’m untouchable” is kind of hilarious. Since Clark later gets stabbed with an angel blade - AND SURVIVES.

However for the rest of the episode, Clark is so much more of a Dean mirror, to Jack’s Cas mirror. Clark shows Jack his humanity. He makes Jack happy enough for his powers to make the lights flicker (honestly if this doesn’t make the whole grace orgasm blowing out the lights head canon real I don’t know what does). He feeds him candy, jokes around with him, and is generally such a playful and charming character that we can’t quite help but associate him with Dean.

I love how Clark’s mum the Sheriff tells the police officer that “There’s no such thing as weird, everyone is normal in their own way” because isn’t that just a massive shout out to anyone who is slightly ‘different’? All of us who identify with this show about the ‘weird’ things because we are a little bit weird ourselves? Whose to say what is normal and whats not? 

What I love about this line is that it backs up my claim that the show is trying to prepare the audience in a way for things they may not expect... especially the part of the audience that watches for macho men, guns and death - the Republicans, the dudebros, the right wingers, the assholes who think that to fit in in this world you have to fit into some idealistic little box. Well, believe me this show has a few surprises in line for those people. I can’t wait for it to all come to a head.

Team Free Will 

Ultimately, what 13x01 has shown us is that Jack is a combination of ALL of team free will. He is his own person of course, but he shares elements and traits with all of them. I think it’s so fitting that so soon after Dean’s memorable speech to Cas in 12x19:

“You, Me, and Sam, We’re just better together. So now that you’re back, lets go Team Free Will”

In which Dean brought this term back for the first time in canon since it was used in 5x13, do we now have a character who is the embodiment of all three of them. For me, it seems that this was intentional and that Dean’s words really were the truth - that once Cas comes back, all three of them will be able to save Jack from himself, along with any other nastiness that comes their way. It is my absolute belief that the moral of season 13 will be that Dean, Sam and Cas need each other, and need to work together in order to defeat whatever evil comes their way. Jack is proof of that. How he mirrors all three of them, and is at this point in time, internally divided:

He has Cas’s innocence, naivety and endearing curious nature, as well as his angelic power.

He has Dean’s humanity, his desire to be good, and a need to reach out to people and bond with them.

He has Sam’s inner darkness, linked to his emotions and leading him to question his own monstrous nature. His struggle between his own inner good and evil. 

When these three sides of him conflict, it will cause problems. Just like how conflict between Dean, Sam and Cas is usually the primary cause of disaster in the supernatural universe. Jack’s fate, and his ability to control himself and his opposing sides, is intrinsically tied to Team Free Will themselves coming together and actually working as a team once again. 

And I bloody well can’t wait to watch this story play out. 

[mittensmorgul]

omg... wait, literally... in 14.08, while they’re all grieving Jack and Sam goes out to build a pyre, he feels like it’s once again a failure on his part when his ax breaks...

I need to do a rewatch of s14 and list all the potential moments we can now maybe chalk up to Chuck’s interference just nudging things in exceptionally tiny ways. Because that broken ax was the reason the rest of the episode happened this way. 

This is exactly the sort of thing I’ve been talking about since 14.20 aired. Chuck hasn’t been shoving the narrative around in huge ways, but even these tiny nudges have sweeping consequences, and all of s14 needs to be reexamined for points where the entire narrative hinges on these seemingly inconsequential occurrences.

If Sam had finished building his pyre by the time Dean and Cas showed up, they wouldn’t have had a wake, they’d have had a funeral pyre. Jack would’ve been permanently lost to Heaven... or perhaps the Empty would’ve quietly snatched him as it planned to do and he would’ve had his little Empty Tea Party with the entity and Billie way back then. There would’ve been no deal for Cas’s happiness, just mourning Jack without Chuck feeling the need to show up and shove events over his personal desired finish line in 14.20. But instead, they go back to the bunker and drink to Jack’s memory, leading to Dean asking Cas, “We did everything we could, right?”

Next thing Dean knows, he’s waking up hung over in the kitchen, and Cas and Sam have brought in Lily Sunder. And the rest of the plot happens.

Sam found Kevin’s Angel Tablet translations in this episode, and Donatello is mentioned as well-- aka the soulless prophet they gave the demon tablet to last year when they may potentially have been able to give him Kevin’s translations (which we all screamed about in s13 so I’ll refrain here) of the tablet they were ACTUALLY trying to read... but Sam brings Lily Sunder instead to try to read them (this is the sort of stuff she was a professor of in life so it’s sensible this time at least).

We learn about Anubis who took over God’s duty to measure the fates of humans, but was that ever something Chuck would’ve done? Interesting, because Anubis himself tells them that God never decided, that people’s fates rest solely (pffft) within themselves, their choices.

Kelly Kline is distressed that Jack has died, of course, as any mother would be, but this feels like a bigger statement from her, to which Jack replies, “things didn’t go as planned.” YA THINK?!

Heaven’s distress signal. I’ve wondered for a while now if there was ever really anything “wrong” with Heaven, or if it was another symptom of Chuck’s interference in things...

Every gate in Heaven was opened, even the ones Metatron’s supposedly irreversible spell closed, when the Shadow invaded.

Cas meets three angels once he arrives-- the first lies dead on the floor near Dumah, who is apparently still alive-- but we quickly learn the Shadow is just using her form. Inside Jack’s heaven they meet Naomi, who I suspect is also being controlled by the Shadow just based on what she tells Cas: That in order to save Heaven, they need to hand Jack over to the Shadow.

BECAUSE! Jack’s soul, according to Anubis, was destined for Heaven based on his own cumulative life choices. And this ending... doesn’t fit Chuck’s narrative. Resurrecting Jack fits Chuck’s narrative. And the Empty has been waiting for Jack... but it’s also been waiting for Chuck. Cas’s sacrifice to save Jack? THAT fits Chuck’s narrative.

What doesn’t fit Chuck’s narrative is these uppity humans actually standing up for themselves to his face, not wanting to play his game anymore. Everything that happens in this episode seems to be setting the stage for them finally seeing they’ve been playing a game all along.

Right down to Lily Sunder visiting Anubis after her death and learning her act of sacrifice was enough to earn her soul admission to Heaven. And this minor god who’d been given this job that used to be Chuck’s... smiles on her and lets her go on to Heaven.

Cas earns a reward from Heaven, too, from Naomi. She gives him Michael’s location, which she suddenly seems to know. Which brings me back to everything I’ve written in this rewatch about Michael just being an irritating symptom of Chuck’s influence over their lives, intentionally flimsy and there only to serve Chuck’s narrative, manipulating his favorite characters into making these same awful choices again.

(and a random note because it pleases the heck outta me... in the final scene, where TFW 2.0 is enjoying a meal in the kitchen together: THEY ALL HAVE BURGERS AND BEERS. EVEN CAS. This has been a strange progression of Cas vs Food since 14.01.

below a cut, because I am an obsessive person who paused 14.09 to compile all sorts of food-related nonsense from all of s14 here, and it’s a lot... >.>

14.01 Cas told Kipling the demon that he doesn’t eat or drink and even questioned why Kipling would bother with food. Cas orders water:

KIPLING: Castiel, you sure I can't get you anything hot and black? CASTIEL: Coffee has no effect on me. KIPLING: Hm. Me either. (sips his coffee) You know, not anymore, but it's like saltwater taffy or infants -- you know, I just like the taste.

but now? 14.08, Jack’s Heaven Memory revolves around food, too. They’re at a burger stand they stopped at while working the case in 13.06, the first case where Cas came back from the Empty, and therefore Jack’s happiest memory, we have to assume. We don’t know if Cas actually ate or drank anything in 13.06 (he didn’t have coffee with Dean, though, but the assumption is that Cas MADE the coffee for him), but he did explicitly mention to Jack that he doesn’t sleep at all. So he probably wouldn’t have bothered with eating or drinking anything at that point. Yet for Jack, part of the happiness of that particular memory WAS eating, the whole family together.

14.06: Not Cas, but JACK, as we know his body is beginning to suffer the loss of his grace, sits at the ktichen table making himself coffee, pouring tons of sugar into it because it doesn’t taste right to him anymore now that his grace is gone:

DEAN - Geez, what's up with the sugar? JACK - Well, without my powers everything tastes different so, I can't get this how I like it.

I’m pointing this out for two reasons: Jack and his relationship with food serves as an inverse parallel to Cas’s here, but also it’s the first sign that something is wrong with him (which we learn by the end of the episode is catastrophically wrong when his coughing fits lead to him passing out). Coffee, specifically, has long been a direct metaphor for Cas and his relationship with humanity, going all the way back to 8.21 when he ordered coffee at every Biggersons he popped through while evading the angels, and explained to one waitress the history of humanity’s relationship with the drink-- you learned it from the goats. That’s literally my Cas vs His Own Humanity tag, and has been for years. So Jack feeling this disconnect from the coffee he used to enjoy-- and adding tons of sugar in the way we’ve seen angels like Ishim do before (considering we’ll be reminded of Lily Sunder two episodes later) feels like the first portent of Jack’s internal collapse.

In this episode, Dean also orders pie for Jack, telling him “pie is important.” At the end of the episode, Dean and Jack again sit at the kitchen table, Jack drinking his coffee with way too much sugar, Dean with some whiskey:

and then Jack collapses.

14.07: Dean and Jack’s father-son bonding road trip involves burgers, and after Jack falls ill, Dean brings him a sandwich and a glass of milk that Jack never even gets to eat.

14.08: After Jack’s been resurrected with Lily’s soul magic, we have the family dinner mentioned above. And Jack is the ONLY one we see eating his burger, despite all four of them having the same food on their plates. Everyone else is just watching HIM enjoy his meal, because they’re just happy that Jack is back and supposedly “cured” of his imbalance that sickened him in the first place, and his enjoyment of his food serves as a visible example of that fact.

14.09: Crunch Cookie Crunch. Sugary cereal that Jack is apparently sneaking behind Sam’s back, alone in the darkened kitchen in the middle of the night. At least he’s eating? But during this scene, while talking with Cas about the deal Cas made with the Empty in 14.08... Cas not only eats some of the cereal himself, we learn that he took the decoder ring prize from the box and decoded the secret message. Cas... has eaten some of the cereal in the past. Alone, without witnesses. And taken the prize inside. While having a conversation about keeping Cas’s secret. Cookietacular. (and further tying Jack’s experiences with food to Cas’s)

interesting side note, but since I’m still playing 14.09 in the background while I type this, here we see Ketch again-- the guy resurrected for nothing more than plot device purposes-- again functioning as an entry point to another narrative rabbit hole, i.e. something that initially seems like a success but becomes an abject failure for Plot Reasons. He has found the Yeet Egg, but it’s halfway around the world where it’s of no use to any of them. And as he tells them this, he’s sitting in a cafe sipping a tiny cup of coffee. This is how Michael gets hold of and destroys one of the two remaining weapons they had against him-- he snatches it out of the U.S. Mail. Two of Chuck’s little symptoms acting up and playing their roles, forcing the narrative to do what he needs it to do.

14.13: While Dean and Sam share a family dinner with their parents, knowing it will be their last because they plan to put everything to rights, Cas from the past who never broke ranks with the angels is brought to a pizza joint by Zachariah, walking over empty burger wrappers in the alley on their way there, where he threatens to kill the inhabitants if they don’t tell them what they need to know. I mean... worst case scenario for the Pizza Man and Babysitter trope, right?

14.14: An episode that forces A LOT of focus onto food-- both through the MotW as a gourmet chef preparing his victims, as well as through Jack, Cas, Dean, and Sam eating:

The entire cold open is devoted to watching the gorgon prepare his food-- chopping onions, sauteing things, dancing around a fancy kitchen, and yet having to flee before he can enjoy his meal.

Jack coughs while standing at the counter, and blames “pepper” in the food for it, insisting he’s not dying (spoiler alert: he is actually dying and knows this, yet lies about it to everyone), immediately before Rowena reminds us, “Everything means something.”

Cas, Dean, and Jack sit at a diner drinking coffee. But... only Dean and Jack have mugs in front of them. Not Cas. And Dean’s the only one who actually drinks.

Castiel: What you're doing, even just sitting here and having a cup of coffee, is a Herculean feat. I can't imagine the willpower it's taking to keep Michael imprisoned.

And then later in the episode, Jack... eats Michael. He burns up what’s left of his own soul to cook it up, too. Gourmet cannibalism at its best. Nom.

14.15: In an episode where Sam and Cas are faced with a series of food-related red herrings ranging from milkshakes to tiny coffee cups to pot roast to martinis, Dean and Jack have several interactions with food that all mean something more in the narrative itself: from the Angel Food/Devil’s Food cake test, to Jack unable to find something the Gorgon’s snake will eat, to the cup of coffee Donatello serves Jack in a huge mug and uses as a prop in his explanation of how he manages to do the right thing even without a soul to guide him, and what it feels like to him to be soulless.

14.16: Jack is put in charge of doing the grocery shopping, because Dean thought that was a safe activity for him. He buys the food, but then all the other terrible things happen... and he doesn’t eat any of it himself. And despite beer being on the list TWICE, that’s the one thing he fails to buy.

14.17: Back to Cas vs Coffee, and a waffle, waiting for Anael in the diner. He’s already ordered himself the waffle and coffee, and while Anael rejects a cup of coffee from the waitress, Cas orders ANOTHER. Unfortunately it’s never delivered to him (that we see), but he did order it, which means he’s already drunk his first cup. He ordered a refill. (he didn’t eat the waffle).

but also, back in the bunker as Dean sets up Mousetrap for family game night, Mary and Jack prepare a TON of snack foods. Jack makes popcorn, that Dean once made for Cas back in 8.22. Which again reminds me of our ridiculous crack theory from early s9 that popcorn had some sort of magical properties to weaken angels after Hannah is thrown into a rack of popcorn by Adina and is unable to fight back afterward. lol at the theory, but popcorn was also directly involved in Bobby’s final memory of Sam and Dean as they debated movie-watching snack foods, so it’s directly connected to death and humanity both. And Cas eats it. but back to 14.17... 

They never get to eat all those snacks, because Sam never returns with the pizza he was supposed to be picking up, and they receive the emergency call from Donatello instead. Things go incredibly sideways from there.

(note that I might add to this as I finish rewatching the season, since I’m still on 14.09 and the rest is just from memory after that point-- hence putting it all under a read more cut)

[mittensmorgul]

So how do you see Dean and Cas's storyline progressing next season? I'm not asking for predictions, but I guess i am asking for your thoughts on their narrative and what that's going to look like going forward since i'm not so good at things like that.

Hrm… I mean, I’m not really sure about this, because guessing about how a storyline will progress is the literal definition of making predictions in this context. I can point at what happened last season, and now knowing for absolute sure that we’re looking at the absolute endpoint of the series and kinda wave a hand in a general direction of what’s likely to happen in the absolute broadest strokes, but we still have a LOT of missing data in this set, so there’s no way any predictions can be even remotely guaranteed (not even these broad strokes).

Missing information: Is Misha contracted for his usual 15 episodes, or will he go all out in the final season and be in every episode? Will Jared and Jensen feel the same, after having asked for more time off the last few years, will they decide to push it for one last year? And the biggest piece of missing information of all, now that the spiral narrative has jumped the track, what direction are they even heading for the end of the road? We all HOPE they’re ending for an ultimate victory and a happy (or what *we* think of as happy, in my case the “evergreen ending” where TFW lives and finally frees themselves from the cosmic game they’ve been forced into their whole lives) ending, and I’m tempted to guess that this is what the writers will give us, but there are no guarantees, and even if they came out and did guarantee this tomorrow, we still have no idea how they would get there or what it might look like *in the writers’ minds* anyway. 

So I’m really hesitant to make guesses aside from the obvious, which in this case is the immediate (not in time-scale, because it could take time) addressing of Dean’s guilt and trauma that led to him losing faith in Jack (via heavy manipulation by Chuck), to addressing Cas’s insecurity regarding his place in the Winchester family. One of the big themes that came to a head at the end of s14 was not just “lying vs truth,” because we were given proof that telling the truth all the time creates more problems than it solves, but that concealing important truths out of fear or to misguidedly spare the people we care about from worrying while carrying that burden alone is just as misguided and has the potential to cause just as much pain and heartbreak down the road when the truth inevitably comes out.

It’s the interpersonal version of “nothing stays locked up forever” that the show’s narrative foundations have been built on since the Apocalypse era. And if you wanna look at it more metaphorically, since the pilot episode, with Sam’s attempt at going off and leading a normal life and boxing up his entire life to that point and pretending it didn’t exist in order to fit in at Stanford. Life, unboxed.

So it’s something that must be addressed before the end. They’ve got 20 episodes left. What we can’t possibly guess at is HOW this will be addressed, you know?

What we DO know is that everything has been set up for TFW to finally be honest, to use their words– because much as Cas claimed that he never got words wrong, we’ve seen there’s often a disconnect  between him and Dean, between Dean’s penchant for minimizing his own needs and feelings and his fear of rejection combined with his misunderstanding of Cas’s actual feelings, and Cas’s hesitance to be completely open and honest with Dean about what he actually wants and the fact he truly does consider the Winchesters his family now (and NOT Heaven and the angels… his duty to them ended years ago, but Dean can’t really see that because of all the times Cas has run off trying to PROTECT them from having do do horrible things, or tried to solve problems on his own by cutting off communication to shield them… Dean mistakenly believes it’s because Cas still feels duty bound because of his essential nature as an angel and that he will always come second to that…) there’s a LOT going on here to address and work through and only 20 episodes left to do it in, in addition to, you know, the actual plot they’ve set up of TFW vs God for control of their own lives.

Plus there’s the other side of the Big Narrative– what I’ve been calling Team Free Empty. Jack, Billie, and the Shadow. What have Billie and the Shadow been up to, and why are they please to have Jack in the Empty now, in a place where Chuck has no power and they can plot in secret?

Where is Amara in all of this? As Chuck’s already-established other half, where is she now (because I can’t believe she’s in Reno playing Keno), and will she have a role to play in wresting narrative control of this universe from Chuck’s hands?

Heaven and Hell are both… crumbling, off the rails… effectively leaderless and seemingly falling into chaos and decay. How will the revelations of 14.20 affect these realms, and what are the consequences we’re facing now because of it? What is the long-term fate of the afterlife in general, and the billions of souls housed there?

What are the long-term consequences of Chuck’s apparent purge of Hell, bringing all those souls back to earth in the form of spirits, zombies, et al? Because THAT is what he did… I’ve seen the assumption going around that some sort of zombie apocalypse is in the offing for s15, and I just don’t buy that. Like, not at all. I see it more as the punchline to all the zombie-baiting surrounding Jack’s story since he was born, much the same as Dean firing off the grenade launcher in 12.22 was the culmination of all the grenadebaiting in s12. I don’t see it as a logistically plausible season-long narrative, you know?

I also don’t see them having to literally go back to the start to redo every hunt they’ve ever successfully completed, as implied by the three spirits from their past we saw make comebacks in the end montage. The entire narrative point of this is that TFW is fighting to take back their own fate. Not to mention all of those souls might’ve been brought out of Hell, but the things TFW has done to send them there in the first place haven’t been undone. I don’t think Gacy’s cigar box has been un-burned, you know? The innocent souls of the children of the original Woman In White haven’t been dragged out of Heaven to drag their guilty mother back to Hell again. Bloody Mary’s mirror hasn’t been restored and holding her spirit bound to it. And who do we know who has power over the dead, ensuring they are dispatched to their destined afterlife? Who once pulled every single soul who died over the course of multiple years from where they’d been trapped in the veil after Metatron slammed the gates of Heaven? Even as a regular reaper before she ascended to the mantle of Death? Yeah, Billie. My best guess is that by the end of 15.01, all those souls will be returned to where they belong, because it literally cannot stand… TFW in the graveyard swarmed by zombies with no hope of being able to fight them all off is an untenable scenario.

Not that I don’t think Chuck will spend the season tormenting them, but I think he’s gonna get more creative than this… especially when forced to deal with the very powerful friends TFW has amassed… namely Team Free Empty, who together likely have the power to counter pretty much everything Chuck can throw at them.

Free Will is a force that Chuck may have “invented,” but I don’t think it’s something he truly understands, and like the Empty, I think it’s something he literally has no power to counter. Team Free Will is finally poised to break the invisible chains Chuck had saddled them with since the beginning of time. To quote Dean in 5.18, screw destiny, right in the face.

It’s a lot to work with in a limited and defined time period, so speculating beyond this until we start seeing the direction s15 will take and where narrative emphasis will fall as a result is practically impossible, you know?

[amwritingmeta]

Hey! Do you think that Chuck could come back/reappear in one, maybe even a few episodes? Bc I kinda want Cas to reunite with him in some way but to be angry and upset, culminating in him just yelling at him, "I've been praying to you. Why haven't you answered me?" - that's just me, though - or do you think that he wouldn't get involved with the nephilim/lucifer situation and just let the Winchesters (and Cas) deal with it bc he knows they can do it?

Hello, my lovely, lovely Nonny!

This is a Very Late Reply. I don’t know if you’ll even see it, but thank you so much for asking!!

Firstly, I don’t know if it even needs saying, but I adore Rob, so if Chuck did come back –> happiness! :) To be honest, though, I doubt we’ll get it. Mostly because Chuck is the type of character… um, no he is THE character to come in and fix everything pretty much ex machina, right? 

Secondly, I think they gave us ample moments in his episodes at the end of S11 to more or less tell us that Chuck has tried and tried and tried to step in and course correct humanity, but he finally realised it’s not his job to babysit - his job as parent is to have the strength to let go.

He’s still made mistakes, don’t get me wrong. To Cas and to Heaven - his firstborn creation - he was always the completely absentee father. I mean, four angels have seen the face of God. Four. He more or less left Heaven to fend for itself and look how great that turned out. Michael stepped into the role of fanatical leader and pushed and pushed for them to follow the Word of God to the letter, ensuring the Apocalypse. (well semi-ensuring) (didn’t count on them pesky vessels being all pesky about it)

So let’s look at the history of Chuck, shall we, and headcanon his backstory a bit.

Why did he leave Heaven to the rule of Michael?

God went off to focus on humanity, right? But why? Why did God love humanity more? Why did he command that the angels bow down to us? 

Well, he made the angels first. According to Amara he made them so that he could feel big, so that he could lord over something, and Chuck admits that’s true. But he also tells her that life was right there, waiting to be born - he didn’t create it, he merely grasped it and pulled it into being. The archangels, then, were created to be lorded over, but also to stave off loneliness and to seal away Amara so that life could… live.

So here’s the biggest question, at least for me –> did God assemble the angels without feelings to begin with?

If we look at Lucifer, I would say no. I would say all the angels had the ability to want and need and resent and long. Why did they have to bow to humanity? As a test of loyalty, of obedience? To God, their Father? I mean, you could look at Chuck’s history with Lucifer and wonder, quietly, to yourself, if that whole thing wasn’t a test for Lucifer alone. That God knew how bad it had gotten and he wanted to give Lucifer one last chance to prove he wouldn’t become as destructive a force as Amara had been. 

But Amara was infesting Lucifer through the Mark, the Mark enhancing Lucifer’s long established pattern of creating conflict and flexing his muscles, thinking himself daddy’s favourite, and when Lucifer refused to bow down, Chuck had no choice but to cage him. He couldn’t see Lucifer anymore, he could only see Amara, and Chuck’s fear of his sister’s power overrode everything else.

Oh, I’m totally, totally headcanoning right now, guys, btw - this is so not meta.

Here’s the twist, though. Because what the angels learned with Lucifer’s fall was that feelings were dangerous. Or, perhaps that should be: what Michael learned. Because why are the angels so averse to emotion in the first place, when God clearly indulges in them, rolls around in them, enjoys himself happily and lustfully on Earth?

Ask yourself this: did God issue the order of brainwashing and emotional constipation in Heaven, or did Michael? Did God issue decrees against angels consorting with humans, or did Michael? Is God the control freak in this scenario, or is it Michael? Was it always Michael in the wings (pardon the pun) dropping that curtain on doubt and questioning his orders, while God - the literal creator of free will, who didn’t want to create humanity to blindly worship him, but to choose whether to believe in him or not - if he was still ruling Heaven would not have been such a stickler?

Can’t the truth be that God tried to fix Heaven, to keep balance and peace, but with the fall of Lucifer things got out of hand? Because the angels had a choice as well, how to act, who to trust, what to do? Can’t the truth be that God was never very good at being controlling and self-righteous because he found it exhausting and dull and he’d much rather set his creations free, let life live, and allow it to prosper or destroy itself is it saw fit? 

And if Chuck has stepped back, the very foundation for the balance of the universe - dark and light entwined and content in familial bond - being secure in his kinship with Amara, then narratively we don’t really need him to come back. And as far as he and Cas goes, I believe there’s someone else that Cas should confront about his fucked up “childhood”. His parent guardian, as it were.

Yup, you guessed it - Michael, peeps. 

Michael may very well be the source of Cas’ biggest daddy issues. Because Michael kept the lie alive that every order ever issued from Heaven came from God, were of God, and this made them, every single one, into a justifiable action. The complete faith in the truth of this is what’s led Cas onto the wrong path more than once.

And what’s funny is that what Cas needs to realise for himself is the exact same thing that Dean needs to come to terms with, needs to fully accept as the truth, because it’ll help him move on from resentment and blame: their fathers did their best under the circumstances, and their fathers loved them.

Well, hopefully Lucifer is also someone Cas needs to chat to about this fucked up “childhood”. Lucifer can get under his skin like no other. (literally) (oh no you didn’t!) I’d love some more goading from Lucifer about how alike they are, about Cas’ huge fear that this is true, and his inability to let go of all the ideologies and stuffy rules rammed down his throat for millennia by the orders of Michael, the archdouche. 

Second part of your question: do you think that he wouldn’t get involved with the nephilim/lucifer situation and just let the Winchesters (and Cas) deal with it bc he knows they can do it?

I feel like Chuck handed over the reigns to Dean when they had that chat on that bench. When he told Dean the world would be alright because it has Dean and Sam and Dean is the firewall. (I still feel this is such a horribly counterproductive thing to say to a guy who has carried the weight of the world on his shoulders for so damn long) (but then on the other hand it’s God himself putting all his faith in Dean Winchester) (and that ain’t nothing)

Chuck was prepared to die, knowing the world would be okay. I think Chuck is zen with causality and now there’s Jack - the bringer of light and goodness - who only needs to find his feet properly and he will do good in this world, too. I mean, I don’t know he will, but I trust he will. Obviously he’ll go pitch black dark before bringing the light, but he will bring it. (love shine a light in every corner of the…) (stop it) (alright fine…….. ineverycorneroftheworld!)

If Chuck does come back I hope it’s solely to officiate the wedding. 

What wedding?

Oh, you know. :P

(btw that is totally tongue-in-cheek) (we won’t get an onscreen wedding) (but we’ll get 13x13 that seems hella wedding themed) (*squeeeee*)

[amwritingmeta]

Regarding Jack: comments on the finale, with S13 Spec

I love the curveballs this show throws at me. I love these particular types of balls because they are so goddamn hard to catch that when I do, oh, the satisfaction is so sweet. Let me begin by stating (as it needs to be stated) I was wrong when I said Cas was powered up as in full-feathered and back to his Castiel-shaped angelic form - this did not happen when the nephilim worked through him to kill Dagon. I read that wrong.

And watching 12x23 on Friday, what threw me for the absolute biggest loop was Cas’ description of “the future” that Jack showed him; Kelly’s death; and that final image of Jack in the nursery in the dark.

All of these things are on the side of the rather overtly ominous and it shook me to the core, because even though I believed they weren’t going to have baby Jack come out with rainbows shooting out of his fingertips, I did expect him to be neutral: not glow-y eyed spitting image of daddy Devil having just killed the Good Mother figure and seemingly happy with leaving that rainbow-tree-sunrise mural in perpetual shadow. *internal screaming*

Now, breathe, refocus, reassess.

Nothing is ever exactly what it seems at first glance on this glorious piece of television (okay, some things are, except usually not, not even the fucking car the brothers drive is simply “a car”. moving on) and this morning, mulling over my reading of 12x19 and the cliffhanger of 12x23 it suddenly struck me, like a curved ball flapping itself all over my face until I had to slap it away to be able to actually process what it was flapping at me about. It was flapping about this simple statement by Cas:

Call it a miracle.

And holy bedazzled Chuck in the sky with diamonds - that’s it, isn’t it? That’s how Cas will come back!! 

Jack is - or, at least he can be - the bringer of miracles.

And whether Cas comes back because he has residual nephilim grace coursing through him after the power up - which to me just makes an enormous amount of sense (and big shout out to everyone who has pointed out that Cas’ healing of Dean revealed that something was different about Cas’ grace, because I didn’t notice that on Friday) or because Jack actually physically decides to resurrect him, it doesn’t matter in the slightest to me: the point is that the resurrection will be tied to Jack and I am certain of this now.

So, why does this make so much sense to me?

Because the baby nephilim was good, it was the angelic side to Jack, reaching out for an angelic Protector because it didn’t want to cause suffering and rejected Dagon’s evil side, it wanted to protect Kelly at all costs, sending an image of the world THE ANGEL SIDE OF THE NEPHILIM WOULD THINK IS PARADISE BECAUSE IT DOESN’T HAVE FULL UNDERSTANDING OF FREE WILL YET in order to restore Cas’ faith and get him into Mission Mode. The nephilim did not control Cas by doing this, it never wanted to control him because above everything else, the baby’s goodness is pulled towards Cas’ humanity: his free will, that has always pushed Cas to break the mould and do what is right. This vision was a defence mechanism, however, stemming from a baby angel, meant to inspire and provide Cas with the certainty of being right in his OWN CHOICE TO PROTECT IT, and, to be honest, I believe this future is what the nephilim, in it’s innocence, would have wanted to strive for, it was not a lie or rooted in deception: because the nephilim did not understand that Utopia cannot exist without the exclusion of Free Will and it did not possess the capacity to UNDERSTAND WHAT FREE WILL IS. 

It didn’t. And Newborn Jack still doesn’t. Not yet.

Furthermore, there are so many reasons why this vision would appeal to Cas - especially where he has been at emotionally for so many seasons - and I know @mittensmorgul spoke about this in one of her recent posts that is saved for reblogging and there was so much that I agreed with there, but for here I’m leaving Cas’ internal motivations alone because it feels like a tangent. Safe to say it’s more than possible that to him Free Will is beginning to have a bad, bad connotation and a World Without Suffering is what has always, always appealed to him the absolute most, no matter what the cost. Remember him touching that crying baby and making it feel better: all Cas wants to do is to help. Cas on Mission Mode is not thinking straight: and that is why he died. To shed that persona. (I am screaming right now. I am sincerely screaming with glee at the very thought.)

Oh, my brain is on overdrive and oh, my God, I hope I could be right in this because then everything I’ve thought since 12x19 fits. It fucking fits! Ok, sorry, digressing, let’s continue.

Why does The Newborn Jack not represent the angelic side of the nephilim? Because what fun would that be for a cliffhanger? What fun would that be as a problem in urgent need of solving at the beginning of S13? Newborn Jack is the DEVIL side, the corrupted angel side, the side that is volatile and dangerous and in NEED OF GUIDANCE.

What makes me think this? Oh, this is the best part! I’m so sorry for being so over-zealous but I’m fucking ecstatic!

Newborn Jack’s Devil side is overshadowing not only his innocent baby angel side (underlined by the visual of Jack’s glowing eyes in shadow, tying him to all the times we’ve had that visual of Lucifer this season), but more importantly this side of Jack - just as his innocent angelic side - is not yet in touch with his humanity and this fact is LITERALLY SHOWN IN A FUCKING VISUAL AS HE SITS IN DARKNESS BY THAT MURAL.

Kelly’s LOVE was poured into that mural, her HOPE for the future, her FAITH in her son. Remember, what she chose to paint on that wall is not connected in any way to the baby nephilim’s vision of “the future”, the vision that it showed Cas, because KELLY DID NOT SEE THE VISION OF PARADISE, ONLY CAS DID. That mural was painted by the Good Mother, filled with true devotion for her child, and trust in what she was doing was right: because it was right, guys. The mural represents what could be up ahead, once the nephilim has been raised right. Not “paradise”, but a world in balance. And for Jack to be raised right, what needs to be reached by Dean Sam Cas TEAM FREE FUCKING WILL by that person who is strong enough to lead Jack down the righteous path is what that mural represents: Jack’s humanity.

He needs to be taught the value of choice because even though his father is an arch angel, he was BORN WITH THE BUILT IN CAPACITY FOR FREE WILL by having a human mother. A mother who is good and who died telling him that she loved him.

MIND FUCKING EXPLODED.

Okay, calming down. Again. This might all be wrong, my lovelies. But if it’s right…

I feel it’s still possible that the lingering goodness of the baby nephilim - the angel side wanting to perform miracles - brings back both Kelly - it’s mother - and Cas - it’s chosen and trusted Protector through both of them possessing its lingering grace, and that Kelly will prove a positive force in dealing with Jack, but that her function will still be to die at the hands of Lucifer, because it would be so profoundly symbolic for Jack to have a reason to hate his father, as it ties in so damn nicely with theme for the entire goddamn series.

The troubled family, guys, ’tis the name of the game, is it not? 

The family you’re born into vs. the family you choose. 

The perpetuated obligation of being bonded by blood vs. the bonds you choose to honour because they are unconditional and made of your own free will. 

For Jack to finally properly reject his evil side it is possible that a truly evil act will need to take place, so that he can feel the loss, gain perspective and realise who his real family is, his real friends, who the people are that truly have his back, no matter what he does or the mistakes he makes. I would really, very much love this to be part of the comment on our overarching theme for next season and, possibly, S14 (though I do get the feeling, after watching the J2 panel from yesterday, they might make that a shorter season and that they are ending the series with episode 300, which feels so right somehow.)

But hell, as with everything, all of these comments of mine is me spitballing and boy, I could be completely completely missing the mark here. It needs to be said. (I think I’ve got a pretty good aim though) (stop that) (sorry) 

Getting back to Lucifer, I just always felt like Luci would kill Kelly and there was no way around it. I’d like that, anyway. It makes sense to me because it ties Luci so firmly to the Bad Dad category of parents and Bad Parents get snuffed. *shrug*

For this to happen Luci obviously can’t be trapped in another dimension, but I think Lucifer and Mary will be back in the narrative fairly quickly (at least by 13x04 at the latest) and I think Lucifer will be a real, big, huge threat next season as he vies for control over his son. At least this is my very deep hope. This combined with the continuous threat of the BMoL Elders, of course. 

Lucifer deserves to be frightening again, and his demise at the hands of Team Free Will aided by Jack would be a fucking beautiful bookend to the series itself - where Lucifer has hovered somewhere in the background, like the catalyst of horror that he has always represented - and this demise needs a proper build up. I don’t count S12 as proper build up, it really did nothing to further Lucifer as a threat for me and he mostly annoyed the casual viewer into just wanting him to go away already, which I find understandable. I would love to see him interact with Jack and manipulate him into doing bad things etc. I feel Jack is volatile, but that he is literally Jesse now - our previous taste of the antichrist. Jack might do bad things, but from an innocent perspective, because he doesn’t know any better. 

He. Needs. Guidance.

For me all of this makes sense because I feel the narrative is pulling so strongly towards positive endgame that, for them to turn around and make Jack kill the world, well, it wouldn’t make any sense. Then again, perhaps he’s not here to bring balance either. I just really, really like that idea and I would love that ending for our TFW: they can all still hunt and engage in this life they love, but they don’t have to save the world and risk their necks on such a huge scale every year. Their suffering will lessen markedly. I want that so very much. That and happiness for them!! Please, Dabb!! :)

TEAM FREE WILL IN S13!