#ive had it for like 3 years and one of my friends bought it for me in high school :(( and she finally gets to go up

[gawainism]

i am going to move out and make friends. manifestation is real and im doing it

[vampiromano]

fuck it I'm starting singing classes

i actually wrote a lot of tags on this one. it's mostly personal reminders. but I'm posting it bc I'll forget to do any of this otherwise

i do not check my scheduling apps I'm a disaster❤️

anyway the tldr is I'm leaving this year's seasonal depression behind‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ fuck yes

i get it in summer bc I'm built different (got a few mental disorders) but yeah anyway I don't fucking care I'm DOING SHIT AGAIN somebody clap

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic finder

~*~

1. I'm looking for a fic that's during the Cloud Recesses study arc where, WWX I think, found out Wen Chao couldn't read and started teaching him. I think a couple of the other kids started helping him, MianMian maybe? I can't remember much but they definitely helped him learn how to read and became friends. TIA

FOUND? Wei Wuxian’s Super Special Super Secret Book Club by Anonyma (T, 31k, WWX & WC & LQY, WangXian, Canon Divergence)

~*~

2. hello!! All good? I'm looking for a collection of one shots, and I can't find it, I read it a little while ago but I remember a one shot, where Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying were discussing the fact that Wei Ying had saved the heirs of the sects in cave and Jin Ling was listening and Wei Ying was saying that if he hadn't saved the heirs Jin Ling wouldn't exist and Jiang Cheng said something like, Whatever.... Honestly, I don't even remember the tags, but Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying realizing that Jin Ling had heard, Wei Ying asks what Jin Ling wants. @sweettiebah

FOUND! 🔒 Chapter 11: Careless Words of Short Prompts by Vrishchika (JL POV - Not JC Friendly - WWX loses his patience)

~*~

3. Hello !! Ive read this fanfic a while ago and I have multiple ss of it since i like to save memorable parts of the fic but now i cant remember it anymore </3 i dont remember the synopsis but there was a scene where Lwj and Wwx were in an inn while out night hunting, and wwx suspected the person serving them to have poisoned lwj, wwx got really angry and threatened the guy to the max

quote:

Wei Wuxian slammed him against the wall again, cutting off his rapid ramblings and jostling his fractured arm. "Your stories bore me," he spoke lowly, peering his head around slightly so as to almost look into Heng She's face. He still had yet to acknowledge Lan Wangji's presence. "Tell me why you poisoned the tea, or I will hang you in the street by your intestines, ripped open to let the crows feed on your liver." @jingyisbff

FOUND! let me sing to you by greybird_crookedbranch (T, 61k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, adorable Juniors, Minor Original Character(s)for plot purposes, Minor Violence, Demonic Cultivation, resentful energy, Trauma, Guilt, Protectiveness, BAMF WWX, Hurt wwx, Protective WWX, Protective LWJ, Baby Lans, Mental Instability, Possession, it's a case fic but the case is for the hurts, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV LWJ, a tasteful seasoning of Yunmeng Bros Reconcilliation, CQL canon except LWJ is not chief cultivator, Nightmares)

~*~

4. Hello! T__T I have my focus mode on so my distracting apps like twitter (x) are paused. I took a 5 minutes break and opened it. I saw a threadfic of Bottomji/Topxian (Omegaverse) They already have 3 kids (Yuan, Twins) but they are all alphas. lwj wants a daughter (or an omega son). He rode wwx that night then let him knot him for 3x. They were on a date and lwj bought some robes for a girl the confronts wwx that he wants a daughter.... Thats all Ive read. I want to read the whole thread but my app closed. 💔 Can you guys help me with it? I cant find it anymore.

FOUND! sounds like this twt threadfic by @/omegawangji

~*~

5. Hi, I need help finding a fic I’m pretty sure I’ve seen recommended on here a couple years ago.

I don’t remember the title or the author. It was on AO3. It was an Alternative Universe fic where WWX is an art student (and lived in a dorm with the Wen siblings) and LWJ has a very active but discreet sex life. WangXian know each other but they’re not together. Eventually they start sleeping with each other (WWX doesn’t realize LWJ actually likes him and he’s not just another hookup). There is also a secondary plot about one of LWJ’s past hookups stalking and tormenting them at a club or party at some point? T

his is all I can remember, unfortunately. I hope to reach someone who knows which fic this is by asking on here. WangXian nation, do your thing! 🙏

FOUND? show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending) It doesn't match exactly but some details do

~*~

6. For fic finder, a fic I read a good while back.

It was one of those “jgs magically spies on the burial mounds to get people to hate wwx and the remnants” but in this one wwx and lwj did the “a-yuan is birthed from wwx” thing and the people spying believe it. Lqr passes out for a bit and lxc and jc start planning a wedding since lwj apparently deflowered wwx. I think it was completed

FOUND! Assumptions by draechaeli (T, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, not mpreg, Not Established Relationship, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, gender non-conforming titles)

~*~

7. Hello! Here's one I've read a dozen times and would swear I have bookmarked, but now I can't find it. Basically, LZ is a courtesan/assassin who's sent by JGS to seduce and kill the powerful Yiling Patriarch. Meng Yao is working with LZ, although he has his own plans against JGS, of course. WWX later realizes LZ's brother is alive and looking for him, so he brings them together. (By the way, are you thinking of adding a Courtesan compilation? There are plenty of good ones to rec!) Thank you! @ladysalieri (we don't have a courtesan au specific comp but we do have a royalty one that includes a few! ^^ - Mod C)

FOUND! out to get you (to get you) by iliacquer (E, 41k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, switching, top/bottom LWJ, top/bottom WWX, power play, courtesan LWJ, assassin LWJ, dark lord WWX, bondage, happy ending, past slavery)

~*~

8. Hello i am looking for a fic where modern lwj time travels to the canon era and becomes original lwj, in the fic he is betrothed to yilling patriarch wy who sends him letters, and wy becomes more desperate and insane because lwj doesn't answers his letters. @ahiku-chan

FOUND? if this is a dream, i pray to never wake up by dangodangomilk (M, 27k, WangXian, Marriage, Weddings, Engagement, Canon Divergence, Parallel Universes, YLLZ WWX, false amnesia, Implied/Referenced Sex, Fluff and Angst, Sexual Content)

~*~

9. hello! i'm looking for a fic from lwj's pov. he runs into wwx (dark) in yiling i think, after burial mounds but before his new body. lwj is horrified by how bad he looks and convinces him to go to an inn (wwx mean), they have sex. during this lwj realizes that wwx's bones are all broken from his fall in the burial mounds and he is holding them stable with resentful energy. he can't heal them, but the resentful energy is working as a stopgap. possibly of it's own volition? bittersweet? thx! @saydams

~*~

10. Hello!! I love this blog, where I find fics to read!! A few days ago, I asked someone to find me a fic, but I'm here again because I remembered med and another fic that I loved reading, but currently can't find.

The things I remember: Wangxian has an spiritual connection, which is why the golden core transfer does not occur (and it is qing who informs Wei Ying of the connection, as Madam Yu knew and gave tea to undo the connection but it did not work ) and if I'm not mistaken Yanli is the one who told Wei Ying that the spiritual connection no longer exists (which is obviously wrong)

If you can't find it, I ask you to recommend something similar.

Thank you ❤💛🖤 @sweettiebah

FOUND! Half of my soul by Asphodel_Meadow (T, 8k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, 5+1 Things, kinda soul bond but with their golden cores, POV Outsider, POV Alternating)

~*~

11. Hi, im looking for a fic where when Wei Wuxian was dead others tried to flirt with Lan Wangji. I remember one of the scenes where Shizui was walking to the jingshi and overherd someone (a cousin of Lan Jingyi?) trying to flirt with Lan Wangji. I think it was a 5+1 type of deal. No matter the way i word it, i cant find it. I`ve been looking on and off for months. @herebedragons02

FOUND? Criteria by incendir (T, 10k, LSZ & LWJ, WangXian) Criteria from the Resolutions series! I've reread ot enough to know that description on site

~*~

12. I hope you don't mind me asking, i'm looking for a wangxian fic where there is a scene that takes place in the cloud recesses where jiang cheng injures nie huaisang and nie mingjue almost declares war on the jiang sect. Thats as much as i remember I hope it's enough to go on. If it helps any it was either a Jiang Cheng bashing fic or a Jiang Family bashing. / Hi i'm looking for a Jiang Cheng or Jiang Family Bashing fic (can't remember which it was) where Nie Huaisang gets severely injured by Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue almost declares war on the Jiang Sect. Thank you. @hanabichan2018

FOUND? Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

FOUND? A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, Not JIang Family Friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly, WWX Needs a Hug, Family Dynamics, What is a good family?, Fear of emotions does not excuse abuse, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, LXC needs a hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not YZY Friendly)

~*~

13. Hello I’ve been looking for this fic but I cannot find it I remember seeing it before it’s where in order to survive the burial mounds WY exchanges his heart which changes how he acts and then at the end JC, JYL, LWJ and NH decide to go to the burial mounds to see what happened to WY

FOUND?🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, wangxian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)

~*~

14. Hi! For next fic finder, could you help me find a modern wangxian au with combination of arranged marriage, marriage of convenient (i think it is), and contract marriage. YZY arranged a marriage between WWX and LWJ for a bussiness cooperation. WWX agreed to that so he can get away from the Jiang (especially YZY) and to make his own carrier. Then LWJ and WWX make a contract to make the marriage last until 2 years and decided if they want to keep the marriage or not. I think LWJ playing his guqin and WWX is used to that and when 2 years almost up, WWX didnt want to get divorce. The fic is focused about them getting to know each other. I think thats all i can remember. I read that in 2021 so the detail is kinda patchy. If you dont know the fic at least a confirmation that im not the only one that ever read this. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Hi, im #14. Unfortunately its not the fic that iam searching for. The one that iam serching for focused on wangxian, other characters barely appears. Even the jiangs only gets mentioned. Wwx didnt work for Jiang, i think he is graphic design freelancer? The agrement for divorce is between the two of them, their family didnt know about their agreement. They choose how long they stay together before divorce after they think that the project between their family is finished so their divorce wont effect the project. WWX even has a plan after their divorce to open his own office. If i remember corectly, WWX realize he didnt want to get divorced is a few days before the day of their divorce. Like he is in his room and thinking that after their divorce, he cant listening to LWJ playing his guqin and spend their days together and he didnt want that.

I really hope i didnt mix several fic together. Thank you!

NOT FOUND! you're the only thing i think i got right by sandustorms (lucianclouds) (M, 48k, wangxian, Arranged Marriage, Falling In Love, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Domestic, Married Life, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, do you remember that fake reddit post abt the guy that fell for his husband, that he was arranged to be married to, that was kind of what inspired this, Happy Ending, Modern, Strangers to Lovers, Romance)

~*~

15. Hello Mods, hope you are having a good day (^ ω ^)

This is for the fic finder and I'm not quite sure about this so just to be safe I don't want to upset anyone so

Trigger Warning! Trigger Warning! Trigger Warning!

This is what I remember: WWX is roofied or SA'ed in the Cloud Recesses ( I don't remember if that is shown) and there's a lot about how he handle it (denial? minimizing? disassociation?), and LWJ is there, he didn't do it, he is good, and anti-victim-blaming? if that makes sense?

FOUND? obscura: ink stain by AvoOwO (M, 20k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Canon Divergence, Emotions, Heavy Angst, Painting, Temporary Amnesia, Drugs, Drug Use, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drink Spiking, Victim Blaming, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ Has a Crush, Soft wangxian, Holding Hands, Blood and Violence, Good Sibling JC, Protective JC, WWX is a Mess, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Protective LXC, Good Sibling LXC, Good Uncle LQR, LQR Tries, OCs, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, WWX Needs a Hug, someone gets punched a lot, LWJ contemplates murder for a moment, JC almost gets it done, not quite about romance, as much as romance elements there, more so about the small things, LWJ loves how WWX smells, some nasty things are said, WWX def needs a nap, he gets one dw, LQR Gets Shit Done, NHS Is A Little Shit, Scheming NHS)

~*~

16. Hi! For fic finder, I am looking for a short-ish fic where Jin Ling learns that Wei Wuxian is the one who named him “Rulan.” Jin Ling then realizes he is named after the Lans, and he has a teenage meltdown about how he is named after his uncle’s crush. Does this sound familiar? Thank you, everyone, for all your help! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! three days gone by occultings (microcomets) (G, 4k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Family Bonding, Homophobic Language, Fluff) there may be a few fics that fit, is it maybe the one where jin ling and jiang cheng are reading sect letters together, and jin ling got mad about being called "rulan"? so far i found another fic, ig it's "similar" since jin ling's only mad for one sentence, but i thought to link it anyway

~*~

17. Hi! I'm looking for a fic, but i only remember a specific scene from it: wwx and the wens on the horses and it's raining and lan zhan lets them go, but then i guess granny wen says go back and get him, and when they return, lan zhan is soaking wet and she says something along the lines of 'dramatic young people'. Thank you so much!

FOUND? Turn Around by mondengel (Not rated, <1k, wangxian, humor)

~*~

18. Hi, I'm looking for an AU WIP fic where WWX has to wear a mask; nobody but family is allowed to see his face. He and LWJ have an arranged marriage, but LWJ still refuses to let him take his mask off, and doesn't make any effort in the marriage. Very soon after they are married, he takes Wen Qing as a concubine, without explaining anything to WWX. WWX moves to a house near Lotus Pier, and there is a bit about him adopting children, but I can't remember how that came about... Thank you! @godiva696

FOUND! Sounds like the deleted "A price to pay" by wangxianist.

Not FOUND! sounds sorta like shana's identity porn fic here on tumblr

~*~

19. Hello! 😃 I hope you can help me find this fic that I have been looking for!

I only remember that Wei Wuxian gets reunited with the sect leader of the Yu sect,(she is basically his grandma I think) and he get very emotional, it is also at a discussion conference or something like that, it is a very sweet/happy scene.

thank you 😊

NOT FOUND!🔒补救; to remedy, to do something to correct or improve something that is wrong by ravenditefairylights (G, 21k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, Healing, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Getting Together, Everybody Gets Their Shit Together, Family Feels, Teacher WWX, Soft WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Marriage Proposal, Assassination Attempt(s), Family Bonding, soup as a metaphor, Meishan as a metaphor, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Forgiveness, BAMF WWX, Assassin WWX) i'm not positive this is it, but has a scene like that

Not FOUND And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) has a wwx-Sect Leader Yu relationship a bit like that? They meet up in Meishan, though, it's not a conference

Not FOUND The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Timeline What Timeline, Sexual Harassment Threats) has wwx summoned by an OC Yu cousin instead of mxy, so there is some wwx-Yu sect interactions in the story. I don't remember it being particularly sweet or happy, but the setting is a conference

Not FOUND Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, magical healing and how it fails, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed my, Families of Choice, Original Supporting characters, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession) last suggestion, and this probably isn't it, but it has a lot of Yunmeng Trio & Yu sect interactions (mostly Jiang Cheng centric, but wwx is there too lol)

FOUND! Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics) the reunion scene is on ch31

~*~

20. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where during the Sunshot Campaign, Wei Wuxian was able to tame the Xuanwu, resulting in victory. However, he wasn’t fully able to control its bloodlust so it was sequestered onto an island in Lotus Pier.

However, he leaves one day for a brief visit to Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, JGS paid a child to visit the island and the child is killed. This causes WWX to go with the Xuanwu into the water surrounding the island and he disappears for many years.

Later on, Jin Ling ends up trying to prove himself by going into the forest surrounding this island (which has since filled with resentful energy). And finds that WWX has come back and the Xuanwu has been purified.

I’m not sure if it’s been deleted??

FOUND? The Turtle Master by Gotcocomilk (M, 40k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JL & WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Character Death Fix, shijie lives, Hurt/Comfort, OC Child death, zombie turtle!!, BAMF WWX, isnt he always, Fluff and Angst, first half is pain second half is soft)

~*~

[bentosandbox]

Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🍕to find this later

Aita: i called the pizza my husband was eating nasty

For some context, this will seem random but it may factor into emotions right now

My husbands best friend just moved in with us 3 days ago

My mother in laws dog was diagnosed with cancer today, and will be put down tomorrow. Everyone is very heartbroken

We were in the car after getting some groceries and my husband mentioned he was thinking of picking up pizza since he knows no one has eaten much today and definitely wont feel like cooking

I dont like pizza much, i especially dont like little caesers, im very very open about this and always have been. If im ever given a choice i never choose little caesers, but if i am hungry enough ill eat a slice or two.

We all have really dark senses of humor and often poke fun of each other and of each other's interests and laugh it off no big deal. We do this daily

So I'm sitting in the bedroom playing games, my husband and his best friend are hanging out in the living room. My husband comes over to the bedroom and says hey Im going to pick up pizza Ill be right back

Time passes and the pizza comes and everyone goes and sits at the dining room table to eat. Theres three boxes, two different types of pizza, my husbands favorite, stuffed crust, and my usual favorite thin crust. Everyones talking and I don't remember exactly what was said but my husband mentions something about thin crust my favorite or something like that. I say something like "actually with little ceasers i prefer the normal pizza the thin crust doesnt have much sauce and i like the sauce". I finish eating and get on to my handheld console and keep playing my game, half paying attention to the conversation. At some point, I honestly don't remember at all what I said or what was being said, but I remember vaguely my husband saying the box they got is "normal pizza" and i said no its not his is stuffed crust which is nasty. I was being playful, i dont like pizza to begin with, i like the crust even less, and stuffed crust just really really isnt my thing.

A few minutes later i notice my phone has a notification, i look to see a text from my husband saying I was being rude because his friend paid for the food.

I was at first extremely confused, was me playing games at the table rude? They were using their phones while eating and talking so i didnt think so. Was it because i said i didnt like the thin crust? At this point i genuinely dont remember saying the stuffed crust is nasty and dont understand what i did wrong. I text him back asking what he was talking about and he says that i called the food nasty. I thought about it and vaguely recall saying it Playfully but again i was paying attention to my game and not so much to what was being said so i dont even remember for sure.

I got really upset and kind of mad, I had just been joking and i never say ugly things to people ever so it hurt that he assumed i ment the worst.

Even then there had been absolutely no way for me to know his friend bought it. He told me he was thinking of buying pizza then he said he was going to pick it up. Plus it happened to be my and his favorite pizzas so it seemed like he picked them. I had been in a different room there was no way i could of known what they planned or who paid or anything.

Plus whenever he buys or cooks food i always tell him his is gross or nasty or w/e Playfully. And he calls my food gross too. We joke like this all the time.

And even still, weve been together for three years and weve known each other longer than that. He knows i dont like pizza. He knows i dont like crusts. Its not a strange thing for me to be vocal about it. In faxt itd be strange if i didnt because like ive mentioned we Always poke fun of each other's foods and of each other.

And maybe this is just a me thing but. I dont feel like its rude to call something like little caesers nasty, especially around people who know i dont like it? Itd be one thing if it was a strangers cooking id say something polite like "i dont think its for me" or just say it was good if i wont see them again. Or if i was at someone's house and they bought pizza for everyone. But for all intents and purposes it seemed like my husband bought it and, i cant stress enough how normal it is for us to pick fun at each others foods. He makes fun of my subway order all the time. I always call little caesers gross.

I dont know if feelings are just tense because the beloved family pet passed

Or if he's feeling extra defensive of his friend since he just barely moved in

Or if im in the wrong entirely for being upset and it actually is highly rude of me. Though. I genuinely dont understand since we make fun of each others food all the time. So if i am the asshole can people please try to explain why because i genuinely dont understand what made this different to him saying the black olives on my subway are gross. Or me normally saying little caesers is gross. Like i really dont get whats different so id really appreciate an explanation

What are these acronyms?

[lovely-showtimes]

hello person thing I would like to request (seperate) shiho himomori and akito shinonome date night hcs thank you very much your writing is absolutely scrumpdiddilyumptious

date night . . . ♡

characters - shiho, akito.

type - headcanons.

contains - fill in later

a/n - thank you so much nonnie <3!! sorry this is a little late, ive been kinda busy these past few days (definitely not playing warioware move it. i have not been spending all my time doing that. absolutely not). sorry that both of them are so short, they always feel longer when i'm writing them and then i look back and they really aren't long at all...

You're quite aware that for some time now, Shiho has wanted to take you somewhere

Sometimes she'll off-handedly ask you things like "What type of food do you like?" and "Do you mind eating somewhere noisy?"

After discovering your food preferences, she finally just asks outright, "Would you like to come with me to this ramen place? It's pretty close by."

And now, here the two of you are! You're pleasantly surprised by how she managed to find somewhere that fits your tastes.

(How many different places does she know, anyway...?)

Shiho is kinda quiet for most of the date, mostly because she's really enjoying the ramen, so you'll have to carry the conversation

But she's happy to listen to you talk while you eat. She loves the sound of your voice, after all <3

She makes sure to check that you had a nice time afterwards as the two of you walk back home together.

The two of you mutually decide to go to the local mall! It's a fun place to talk and walk around, after all

You stop by the food court to eat, of course. The two of you have a mild gossip session over your shared friends and classmates

"Did you hear that third-year weirdo somehow got on the disciplinary community this year?" "Really? Him? How'd he manage that? Doesn't the teacher know about everything he gets into?" "Must've mistook him for someone else. No one in their right mind would choose someone like that to be in the position."

After you've both finished, Akito's drawn to some of the clothing stores, so you both go in together

...And you end up coming out with about four bags worth of clothes Akito bought for you

You could only stand by and watch in horror (for his money) as he picked out more and more articles of clothing that he said would look nice on you

If you protested or tried to at least buy some of it yourself, he would either shrug you off or straight-up ignore you

He even carries them around for you for the rest of the date as to not tire your arms

You intend to pay him back for this at some point, but when you get home and can properly look at everything, you have to admit, he did pick out pretty nice clothes for you. <3

[ordinorultor-if]

So I decided a while ago to do some facts about me when the demo dropped. Even though the demo’s been pushed back to Friday, I wanted to share some stuff about myself anyways!

So! You guys can call me JB, and today is my 21st birthday (shoutout to that one anon whose birthday is also today). I’m a cis man, and while I’m questioning my sexuality, I’m fairly certain I’m bisexual. I’m a practicing Roman Catholic, but I’m not an asshole about it - be who you wanna be, love who you wanna love, and believe in what you believe in, as long as you’re not an asshole I’m cool with you.

I was born in Chicago and lived there for a while, but me and my mom moved to Wisconsin shortly after my father passed away. Up here we basically live on a farm. We have a garden and lots of animals - two dogs and a whole flock of chickens, and we used to have horses and ducks too. I also used to have a bearded dragon (named George, because of St. George and the Dragon), but I took terrible care of the poor guy and he got sick and passed away.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a scientist really bad. To some extent I still do, but I’ve always loved story telling, so a few years ago I realized I wanted to be a creative writer instead. While I’m currently on break from university, while I was attending I had an English Major with a Creative Writing Focus. I never declared a minor, and I was intending on a Chemistry Minor, but I might decide on an Engineering Minor when I return.

Besides reading/playing IFs, I’m into video games, TTRPGs (which is actually how I got into Interactive Fiction), firearms, history, religion and mythology, and general culture stuff. Seeing some of that, I think you could see how I ended up with the ideas for this game lol. Some of my favorite games include Crusader Kings 3 (which is how I came up with the idea for this game, playing a custom character in the Duchy of Aquitaine), Hearts of Iron IV, Skyrim, Fallout 4 (I haven’t seen the show yet, please don’t spoil it ~_~), and Cyberpunk 2077.

As mentioned above, I got into Interactive Fiction because of my love of TTRPGs. I think I’ve mentioned this story before, but I’m into Vampire: the Masquerade, and shortly after V:tM - Night Road released, I bought and played it. Around this time last year I looked into Choice of Games because of it, and the rest is history.

Also, since I couldn’t fit it in anywhere else, some genres and writing/trope stuff I like:

Childhood friends to lovers (all time favorite romance trope)

Peggy Sue fix-it fics (after all, I’m writing one over on AO3 lmao)

The former friends reconciling while facing impossible odds

Blending genres, like with sci-fan or gothic western

Related to the above: when fantasy settings have sci-fi lore/origins, and vice versa (FE3H my beloved)

Tarot motifs (again, FE3H my beloved)

Eldritch/cosmic horror

Gothic settings

Dragons that are really weird (FEA my beloved. And again, FE3H my beloved)

Anyways, that’s really all I can think of. Also, a reminder: Warlock is the best class in D&D 5E /s

[roe-and-memory]

UHMMM in your guy's pinned it says your ok with asks sooooooo

You guys should totally hand over all of your Lightning headcanons :3

HIHIHI IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN LIKE 4 DAYS

hi this is roe quick interruption

thats all ty

ok so…. a magician cannot reveal all of their secrets so ive picked a Select amount of our favourites because obviously we need some surprises,…. its still a LOT though so dont worry i wouldnt dare cut you cheap on our headcanons

if you guys want us to make a separate post on a specific one going into detail of the Lore behind it or just like, more detail in general, dont be afraid to comment and your wish is my command

HERE WE GO!!!

- “HE IS A DUMBASS AND I HATE HATE HIM” (roes words, affectionate)

- he is a liar, sometimes good sometimes bad (only when he wants to) and doc sees through All of it

- he has a walkman he’s had since he was little, he broke the headphones once and mack bought him new ones

- we’ve mentioned it before but he has vision light sensitivity issues

look at him. he cant see SHIT

- he grew up in henderson, nevada, every time a race came to vegas he walked FOUR HOURS to see it from outside the track (he lived an hour and a half from some of the only family that would ever love him in radiator springs EL OH EL!)

- hes a natural redhead but harv thought having him bleach his hair blonde would get him more attention so he did it because harv knows best! sally made him stop when he tried to do it after his roots took over and she was like erm no ! thats destroying your hair and ur curls. and him, not knowing much about his hair was like yeah sure ok

- he has Freckles. So Many. sally tells him he has stars and constellations on his cheeks and hes just giggling and kicking his feet

- also mentioned before he has a lanyard with keys and keychains on it that he carries everywhere hanging out of his pocket

- he has. Horribly. vivid nightmares. so he doesnt sleep much and when he does its always restless

- being a racecar driver he has MASTERED the ability to climb out of windows. he uses this ability to not only cause doc grief (he sleeps across the hall and hears everything), but also to sneak out in the middle of the night when hes restless and prance around in the field like a deer to make himself so sickeningly exhausted he passes out as soon as he lays down

- lightning and sally dance sometimes at the wheel well, neither of them are too good and he wants to practice for her - doc catches him in the living room poorly dancing to rascal flatts and doesnt let him live it down the entire rest of the day

- lightning runs away when hes 15, after walking 4 hours to vegas for a piston cup race he wanted to watch and then deciding he never wanted to go home — there was nothing there for him anyways. he had everything from home he wanted, which included his walkman and thats basically it

- (adding onto above) mack found him at a truck stop somewhere on an interstate asking for either money or a ride somewhere, and as an older brother of 5 little sisters who are his worlds, he saw him and immediately thought . if that was one of my siblings i would never forgive myself. and boom he has a new little brother and boom lightning has an older brother

- he knows how to operate a transport truck courtesy of mack

- he loves stickers, he always has, his walkman and an assortment of his other things are decorated in stickers

- lightning didnt have any friends in his rookie year, so when he has mater, doc, sally, cal, and bobby, he makes little random collages out of magazines and newspapers to keep them as memories

- he loves country music and HATES taylor swift (bobbys fault, bobby is a swiftie)

- doc has sunglasses that lightning finds in his garage, BURIED in a box, they have “hudson” engraved into the arm and he immediately takes them for himself because sometimes its Too sunny (doc when its sunny, he’s out enjoying a beer on the porch and his annoying boyfail son comes outside and stands expectantly awaiting his sunglasses in which he forks over hesitantly)

- crocs or converse there is no in between

- autism.

- he pulls on the threads of his clothing when hes excited or nervous

- talks with his hands, very expressive and he also kicks the ground sometimes for no reason

- he was never taught how to ride a bike. doc is slowly writing down a list of reasons he can KILL 👹 lightnings parents for being HORRIBLE ‼️‼️‼️

THATS ALL FOR NOW…. with time you will learn more but I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE ONES!!!

[timextoxhajima]

Sonder: Part V [Final]

Parts: I II III IV V

member: enhypen heeseung! x oc! woo ki yeom [3rd person pov]

genre: coming of age, slice of life, angst, romance

w/c: 4k

taglist: @missychief1404 (i had this chapter written out months ago, but you're the reason why i decided to post it! thank you for reading <3)

warnings: topics on religion, distressed relationships, mental health (I want to leave an a/n here that I grew up with my maternal family being Buddhists so what I've written is based off what I researched online and the way her family practised Buddhism. I'm personally a free-tinker and this narrative is not in any way meant to offend nor support any particular religion.)

synopsis: after being kicked out of her home, Woo Ki Yeom is forced to live life on her own. struggling to find herself in the midst of her chaotic life, she meets lee heeseung, who, like her, can't give any more fucks to life than she does.

"n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own."

Author's Note:

Before you embark on the closing chapter of Sonder, I would first like to offer you a virtual hug! <3 Sonder is a love letter to all lost relationships (be it familial, friends, romantic). In the last few months of 2023, I lost a couple of friends whom I trusted. I'm still in the midst of healing and recovering from it.

Sonder started out as an angry rant when I felt anger from the falling out, but I couldn't bring myself to continue because at some point, I felt like this wasn't the right way to cope. I was still angry and hadn't come to terms with it. But the longer it took, the more I realised I just wanted to heal, and that things truly just happened. No amount of anger was going to undo what was done. They had apologised for the things they did, but I reacted by cutting them out, and I'm not sorry for it.

The chapter has ended, but the book doesn't.

I hope you have found comfort in Sonder, be it through the eyes of Ki Yeom who represents my anger and process of healing, or Heeseung, who is lost in life and has no direction. Perhaps through the eyes of Ji Yeon, who simply did what she thought was right but yet it wasn't, or Ki Yeom's father who had neglected to care for something when it was in need. Last but not least, Ahn Yoo Hyeon, who is my innate desire to be my own person, but cannot, due to the things that naturally bind her to her purpose in life.

I'm not sure when I will write again, or if I ever will, but if I were to leave one last story for my readers who have been with me for the last couple of years since my Capital Letters and Hostis days, I thought it was appropriate to write Sonder.

My ask is always open and I still do check Tumblr every day. I'll try my best to respond if any. I hope that my words, stories, and characters stick with my readers for years to come.

Writing for everybody has been an absolute pleasure.

With Love,

Dana

"So this is the million-dollar book!"

"She'll kill you if she knows you touched it."

"Have you?"

"I didn't touch it but she showed me once."

Gasp.

"Yeah, go through my things while you're packing," Ki Yeom pushes her way into her apartment, a folded box in hand.

"Jun Yeol touched it first."

"I was curious," He closes the book and places it on the table. "It doesn't kill to be a little curious where all your ideas are stored, is it? I can't believe you've shown it to Heeseung but not us!"

"In my defense, I'm rarely curious about her shit," Heeseung raises his hands in surrender and shrugs.

"Then how did you get her to show it to you?" Soo Min squints at him.

"I caught him snooping around my stuff so I caved and let him see it," Ki Yeom finally gets the folded box into shape and pulls out the tape.

Her colleagues' jaws drop as they scream 'unfair', rolling their eyes as they pick up the book to flip through it again.

Ki Yeom can hear their whispering as she packs her newly bought pot-and-pan and kitchenware, and it cracks a little smile on her lips, knowing that she would miss their voices and their bickering in the years she will be away.

In truth, she doesn't know if she would even be coming back.

They must think she's selfish for taking up the offer that their boss had offered her elsewhere and overseas, but even if they did think that, it's not her problem, is it?

She gets the box taped up and she stands up straight, turning around to see that they've gone back to helping her pack the rest of her things. But Heeseung was still, backfacing her, head looking down and his arms barely moving from where she could see him.

So, she walks over and tiptoes, trying her best to look over his shoulders without letting him know she was right behind him.

"Hard to believe this was six months ago."

Ki Yeom relaxes, rolling her eyes as she walks around him.

In his hands was the letter her father wrote her, with the wrong unit number written on the envelope.

"What can I say, time waits for no man," Ripping the letter out of his hands, she crumples it into a ball, playing basketball with it into the trash bag they had by the door.

As the ball of paper lands in the plastic, Ahn Yoo Hyeon appears by the door, purse hanging from her forearm and sunglasses pushed onto the crown of her head.

"I was wondering if they had taken the day off to come help you."

"Honestly, a waste of time!" Jun Yeol dramatically replies. "She has nothing."

"It's good to travel light where you're going anyway," Ahn Yoo Hyeon takes a deep breath and looks around the apartment. "Let me know if you need anything before you fly. I'll see you on Sunday at eight."

Then she turns around on her heels and leaves.

The funniest thing about the last six months is that Ki Yeom wondered how different it would have been if her 'arcs' had been spaced out or in the wrong sequence. How strange was it to have all the events lined up almost one after another?

Sometimes, just for fun, she would imagine if she hadn't met Heeseung, and her father hadn't written the wrong address. She wouldn't have met him because neither of them cared enough to talk to each other.

Imagine if Ji Yeon hadn't showed up. Ki Yeom knew for sure that nothing would've changed. Ji Yeon would still be texting her every now and then, begging her to hang out when she didn't want to.

Imagine if her father hadn't showed up either - Ki Yeom sometimes wonders if he's going to come back again, find out she's moved away, and think about where she's gone.

Then again, that's not her problem either, is it?

"You left a tissue in your machine last week, you know?" Mr Hsien nags at her the moment Ki Yeom appears in his line of sight.

"Sorry!" Placing her laundry bag down, Heeseung helps to push a token into her machine first. "I'll make sure to check this time round."

"You better. Else I'll charge you two times next week!"

Ki Yeom glances at Heeseung. A knowing smile.

"You're not gonna tell him?"

"What for?" She loads her clothes in, fingers digging into the pockets as she does. "He'll be more than happy I'm no longer using his washing machines. Besides, you'll be here to tell him."

"I'm not gonna have a conversation with him telling him where you've gone and why you're gone."

"Well, too bad."

After the washing machine starts its usual humming and vibrating, Ki Yeom sits next to him on the row of seats, listening to the TikTok and Instagram Reels play on his phone while she looks through the digital documents that the art organisation had emailed her.

Ki Yeom hadn't thought that four years of isolation and loneliness could be undone in just six months. Maybe 'undone' is the wrong word.

Though she must admit, she didn't know what she was waiting for. In hindsight, she wonders what it was like to aimlessly tear through each day. It wasn't even that long ago, so she does remember that feeling of emptiness. She wonders if that's the exact same feeling that Heeseung has been dealing with, and probably will have to for longer.

She considers herself lucky. That for her, this four-year chapter is coming to an end.

But it's bittersweet. There's nothing attractive about being in constant fear and worry of having someone unwanted showing up at your doorstep or leaving you messages, but it reminds you that someone out there is still looking for you. This knowledge that someone still gives a shit about you... that's the thing that's addictive and hard to let go of.

Sometimes, she wonders if this is a good thing. Even though she has closed the chapter with her parents and Ji Yeon, it meant that she no longer had a reason to be interlinked with them and vice versa. Her parents are just her parents now. Ji Yeon is now an ex-best friend.

She looks up from her phone and ever so slightly, turns to Heeseung, whose soul is quite literally in his phone screen.

There wasn't enough time.

To explore. This friendship.

Or whatever you called it.

Ki Yeom had never crushed on anybody. She wonders what it must feel like. She always does. She had watched Ji Yeon entertain the boys that ogled over her at school, but she never had one herself.

She recalls the first time she met Heeseung. She was uncouth. Rude, cold and nonchalant. Which boy would like that kind of girl?

She snickers to herself.

"What?" Heeseung asks without looking up from his phone. "The video wasn't even that funny."

"Nothing," Ki Yeom shakes her head. "Though, can I ask you something? Feel free to ignore me or change the subject if you can't answer."

Heeseung hums in response. He scrolls.

"What is it like to have a crush on someone? What's it like to... be in university?"

Such simple questions.

But Heeseung feels stumped. He knew Ki Yeom didn't have the luxury to attend university, but he never thought she would think and ask about it.

He stops and turns down the volume first, then locks his phone and puts it down in his lap.

"The second question's easier to answer. Depending on the crowd you hang out with, university is either a four-year-long party before you go into the working world or... where you go through your existential crises before you go into the working world."

"So either way, it's kind of a shitshow, just whether it's on the fun side or the depressing side?"

"Bingo," Heeseung snaps his fingers and points at her. "The first question, however... I think it's different for most of people. A crush could mean many things. Like an eye-candy, or just a periodic infatuation just 'cause the person's cool or pretty. Or it could be some love-at-first-sight shit that's genuine."

"Do you believe in that? Love at first sight?"

"No," Heeseung shakes his head and puckers his lips in thought. "I mean when you're younger, yeah. I had a crush when I was a kid. Liked her for a couple of years, even though she rejected me right at the start. But my perseverance got me a short run with her."

"'Short run'? How short?" Ki Yeom smiles.

"Like... three months."

"Wow," She laughs and scratches the back of her neck. "Three years for three months?"

"That's exactly what a friend of mine said."

"But you said that was when you were younger. What about recent times? Has it changed for you? I never... had the chance to like someone. When I was in high school with Ji Yeon, I was so caught up in finding myself... with my art and dealing with... being poor. Then not being able to go to college pretty much sealed the deal. My last chance to be a student and a kid and meet people and fall in love and have break-ups was in high school and I didn't know."

Heeseung squints at her. "I don't think that going through all that in high school is advised. I mean, yes, that's when everybody goes through all that, but like... usually it's stupid and messy."

"At least they have the privilege of going through something stupid and messy and not have to worry about... other things. I thought that's what being a teenager is about. Being obnoxiously ignorant about everything else... only thinking about the guy or girl you liked and whether they would ask you out on a date."

He tilts his head at her, eyes looking away as he thinks.

"I think you were destined to... lead a life that the regular person doesn't get to experience. I know how terrible and shit it sounds because it just sounds like I'm trying to comfort you, but I do think you're special. In a resilient and talented type of way. That you were pulled off the average, regular path, and forced onto a better, more rewarding one. Albeit tough."

"Risky game."

"I don't think that if you had spent just a single minute thinking about a guy or a girl... it would've been worth it. It's like asking a God to worry about what color I should dye my hair."

A pause. Ki Yeom nods, a gentle smile on her lips.

"Thank you. For putting it that way."

Another pause. Heeseung was thinking. Then he parts his lips, a breath coming out before a word does.

"For me, I take awhile to like a person. It doesn't come easy nowadays, especially that I'm busy trying to find life fun. But I think right now... I wouldn't know it. I think I would've liked someone without knowing, and then something would happen that made me realise I liked this person."

"So like, 'never knew it until you lost it' kind of concept?"

"Something like that."

Ki Yeom hums in response.

"What about you? I mean, hypothetically, what do you think you're like? If you had a crush?"

"Hm," She rests her elbow on her crossed leg, chin resting on her folded fingers. "I probably have a curse of some sort. All that talk about me being on a more special path would give me tunnel vision, to the point that even if I did like someone and I knew, I don't think I'd stop my life to entertain it."

And just like that.

For some reason, it felt like they had a whole other conversation without even having it. There's a strange, bubbly feeling in Ki Yeom's stomach when she realises how quiet it's gone, on top of the machines' whirring.

She turns to look at him, whose eyes are a little bit sad, like they had heard something he knew was coming, but didn't want to hear. They were flitting between hers, as if waiting for her to say something else.

He blinks, then turns to look at his hands, thumb running over the mild callouses that have formed from playing the piano. Then Heeseung turns back to her, head tilted and eyes unable to focus.

"In an alternate universe... maybe we'll meet in school. And... you'll be the nonchalant, quiet, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything girl, and I might find it in myself to be curious about you... In a life that you didn't have to worry about your friends or the way you reacted, about your family or money. In a life where you could be 'obnoxiously ignorant'."

"In a life where I'd be your only problem. A crush that you wouldn't know how to fix or solve. Or maybe leave you with a heartbreak that would change your perspective of life and become a better person."

"I'll admit that I was worried. That I'd be the heartbroken one after you leave, knowing that you bought a one-way ticket and have no plans to return. But I'm no longer worried, because... I think I'd rather be heartbroken while you're still here."

By now he's looking at her, eyes slightly widened and glistening.

Ki Yeom's insides have been stretched, crushed and wringed, like towels on a spring cleaning day.

This gut-wrenching feeling felt all so familiar, and yet, so different.

Heeseung blinks and takes a deep breath, stretching as he leans back.

"I watched you fight your way out of your own life. Your own problems came knocking on your door and you somehow pushed through all those chapters and mishaps and everything. I was not going to be the person who confessed and made you feel like you had to stay."

Then he turns and looks at her, eyes still full of wander despite everything he's seen her go through.

"But now that I know how you feel and what you think, I'm thankful that... You care about yourself. I'm glad that you are the I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything girl."

"You know sometimes I hate being that girl, don't you?"

"I know you do, but you are, and there's nothing wrong with it."

Ki Yeom frowns, trying to accept it; trying to accept herself; trying to accept that some chapters were never meant to be written. Some arcs were never meant to happen.

Perhaps this acceptance was an arc of itself.

In another life.

On the day Ahn Yoo Hyeon met Woo Ki Yeom, she was having a particularly horrid day. Coming from her, that was unusual. She would never know if it was fate or some kind of sign, but it was the first time in ten years that it rained on her brother's death anniversary.

Just earlier that morning, she had to brave the rain to get to the florist to pick up the flowers she had ordered. But not only was she almost completely drenched by the time she had gotten there, the florist had lost the order form and forgotten to make the bouquet.

Half her day had already been ruined, and she wasn't even at the cemetery.

But her brother's best friend, showed up like an angel, to the florist as she was making the bouquet in a frantic manner. It's normal to see people freeze and get uncomfortable when they meet Oh Jihoon, for he was absolutely covered in tattoos. This included his face, his ears, the inside of his lips and into corners of the body you couldn't see.

"She giving you a hard time?" Yoo Hyeon remembers him teasing her to the florist.

"My apologies! I lost the order form, but the moment she stepped in- I remembered that she had ordered it-"

"Take your time! We're not in a rush."

Yoo Hyeon turns to him, brows furrowed. She lifts her sunglasses and glares at her with those angry orbs that her brother had as well.

"What?" He sits on a nearby stool, holding his phone between his thumb and index finger and gestures out the shop. "Take a look at the weather, would you? You're gonna make her wrap the bouquet up nicely then let it soak and drown in the rain?"

She huffs, wanting to retort but having nothing to say.

"How's the parlour going? Last you told me, you hired a couple of youngsters?"

She glares at him once more, then puts her glasses back on when she decides that he's right.

"The girl's a tomboy gangster and the boy's a gay unicorn. Funnily enough, they seem close."

Jihoon laughs boisterously. Yoo Hyeon can hear her brother's laughter in his.

"You sayin' that he's gay because you know for a fact?"

"He's got bright pink hair dyed down to his roots, and he talks like a girl."

"Hey, now," Jihoon raises both palms and chuckles.

"I think I know when I see a gay man. Plus, I say that with zero offence. What's wrong with calling someone gay if it's just an observation?"

"Ah- There's the education talking," He pauses, finger playing with the piercings on his ears. "You sound like your brother."

"Shocker."

"You know, back in the day-"

By the time Yoo Hyeon had finished rolling her eyes at Jihoon's throwback, the florist had finished wrapping up the bouquet and apologised for the hundredth time. Initially rejecting the payment, Yoo Hyeon knew better than to refuse the service, handing her a hundred dollar bill and telling her to keep the change.

Jihoon had given her a soft 'ooh' in a bid to praise her coolness, and honestly? Yoo Hyeon could barely hide the smile.

The cemetery was about a thirty minutes drive out of the city.

"I always wondered what he'd be doing. Like what would he be working as? Would he be married and have kids?"

"No clue. But, honestly? Maybe zookeeper," He places both hands on the steering wheel as he turns down the winding path, rain drenching the windshield despite the wipers clearing it every second. "Suits him. Not having to wear office attires or deal with people. Married with kids? Not sure. Depends on whether he knocked someone up by accident."

Yoo Hyeon smiles to herself, eyes watching as the trees blur past and the city's skyline blending into the mountains behind.

"Anyway, your interview. You just had one recently, didn't you? For a touring art organisation?" She turns to him.

"Yeah. I'm still waiting on the results but I think I'm gonna get it."

"And when you do, you would have to move?"

"Seasonally, yeah. I guess I'd be spending months overseas, at a time."

"So, you wouldn't be here? On some years?"

Jihoon goes quiet. "Maybe. But you know I'll try my best to come back."

She hums in response. "It'd be different without you here."

"I know, but you know... One of the last things he told me was to never look back. He always told me that the damage had been done, so what for writhe in your own shit and cry about it? Don't think he'd be all that pleased if he knew we were fussing about him. In fact, sometimes when we visit him... he might not even be there."

Now, Yoo Hyeon can't stifle the laugh that comes out.

Later that day, Jihoon had wanted to drop her off at home, knowing that she was drenched that morning and knowing that it wasn't an easy day for her. But something in her told her to go back to the parlour. For whatever reason it was, she would never know.

But grief works in strange ways.

Yoo Hyeon knew that, to some, it was a stretch to think that her brother was the one who led her to Ki Yeom, who was starving and had obviously cried her eyes out when she found her down the street from the parlor, hiding herself from the rain.

But she will always think it was, because it was comforting to think that perhaps, her brother was watching over her, and even the people who might need her help.

She doesn't know why she hired Ki Yeom so quickly. She doesn't know why she felt the need to help her find accommodation. She doesn't know why she felt like she saw something in Ki Yeom, that would lead her to this very moment.

At the airport. Seeing her off. Into Jihoon's care where she will most likely blossom into a whole other person artistically.

"Jihoon's abit weird when you first meet him, but don't mind it. He's covered in tattoos and that's the only thing that's scary about him. Otherwise, he's a loser," She pulls off her glasses and folds the arms inwards.

Ki Yeom smiles and nods, hugging her jacket in her arms.

"Thank you, Ms Ahn. For taking care of me, ever since we met. I really wouldn't be here without you. I mean it. And it's true. Nothing can refute it."

The older takes a deep breath and raises a brow, "You have my brother to thank for that. He's dead, but I'd like to think he was there the day I found you on that street. Jihoon will tell you more when you get there."

Something in Ki Yeom turns sad and sour as she processed Yoo Hyeon's words. She purses her lips, offering a small smile.

"If you ever come back, I expect you to return."

"Of course."

Yoo Hyeon nods with intention, and slides her sunglasses back on.

Ki Yeom turns around, in her peripheral vision, noticing Soo Min and Jun Yeol getting into another bicker as Heeseung approaches her.

He sucks in a deep breath and shoves his hands into his pockets, shoulders shrugged up to his ears.

"New arc, new season."

She smiles, turning to look at the gate into the departure hall.

"It was nice... being a character in one of your seasons."

A knowing exchange of looks. Ki Yeom doesn't know what to say. Heeseung doesn't either. What else is there left to say?

"Will you hate me if I end up treating you like Ji Yeon?"

Heeseung parts his lips and frowns, then a smile creeps up on his lips. "Maybe. But you know what? I don't think I'd blame you. I'm just... a character in a season."

Ki Yeom takes a deep breath, and reaches out to wrap her arms around him, pressing her head into his collar and shutting her eyes.

"You'll be the character that everybody shipped me with, but never got together, and would write fanfics or canons about us if we happened."

She can hear him chuckle in his chest as he returns the hug. He intentionally lowers his head and nearer to her ear, "Accurate canon."

For the first time in Ki Yeom's life, she felt truly free.

Free from all the things that kept her here, free from all her worries and concerns. She was now going to live the life of one of those girls online, talking about how they moved abroad to work and explore a new culture and lead a new life. Ironically, she worried if she was going become one of those girls.

But even if she did, it's not her problem.

Is it?

[brae-brae]

I speak Italian Darling

This is part one of something I've been working on. this is my first post on here so please don't judge:))

Gia Iseppa De Luca. the only daughter of an immigrant mother and sister to 6 boys, one of which is in prison, which isn't exactly smooth sailing. Ive lived in the sunshine state most of my life. That is until the end of last school year. My parents had the bright idea, "Oh let's move from Florida to Massachusetts! WHO NEEDS SUMMER BREAK WHEN YOU CAN MOVE STATES AWAY! It's not like we could have just stayed there after we had our 4th kid and just bought a bigger house which we obviously could afford if we moved to FLORIDA! Oh how smart we are." Yea no. Not to mention just when I think I have this 16 year old girl shit down with making friends and fitting in, they throw 2 boys into my house for A WHOLE MONTH?! Whatever summer I have left, I better enjoy. I will be blaming my parents.

Sinceramente tuo, il pasticcio adolescenziale

P.S. I speak Italian Darling

  As I got out of my shower I heard my mom welcoming some guests. “Hey, boys! Hey Susan and Frank, how have you been? David and I..” I walked into my room, cutting out their convo. I turned on Spotify on my TV, blasting The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls while I got ready to go to Kristi’s house. As I threw on my sweats and plain black bra, I heard my door open and my mom’s voice. “This is Gia’s room, the boys are at their clubs and whatnot right now. Oh, dear! I didn’t realize you were getting dressed!” My mom quickly shut the door. Before she closed it, I caught a glimpse of a black-haired boy with eyeliner, looking at his phone with headphones in. “Dio, mamma! Impara a bussare! Gesù!” I yelled through the door. I quickly put on a plain black shirt with the band name KORN, putting my unruly curly hair in a low-effort ponytail. I put on some mascara, eyeliner, and highlighter and grabbed my guitar bag, phone, vape, and AirPods. I walked out with my things in hand, jogging down the stairs. When I got to the door, I looked over at Mom catching her attention. “Hey, I’m heading to Kristi’s. I’ll be back later. Love you!” She made a huff before stopping me. “First I want you to meet the guests. These are the Heffley’s!”

     I looked over at them. Normal, basic-looking people. Then I realized the older boy was staring at me. I thought I grew a 3rd eye or something. Honestly, it was getting a bit awkward. Before I could dwell on it anymore, the mom chimed in. “Hey Gia! Oh my goodness, I haven’t seen you since you were as big as Manny!” she said lifting the little boy in her arms. I straightened my lips into a line and looked out at my car in the driveway. 

     “Wish I could say I remember you..” I said looking at my feet. “Gia Iseppa De Luca-Void! That was rude!” I threw my hands up in the air, “Hey I! I wasn’t trying to be, I just don’t know who she is!” I told her. I looked at the dad and the boys, the older one not having moved an inch. “Oh well, the last time I saw you, you and Rodrick were only about 3.” my mom quickly gaped,” Oh Susan, do you remember when they would take cute little baths together? Oh, I miss those days..” my mom said holding where her heart should be. 

     “Ma! Really? What the hell?!” Her face hardened. “Iseppa! Watch the language! Ci sono piccole orecchie per sentire! Continua così e passerai il fine settimana qui. Capire?” I rolled my eyes. “Sì, capisco, mamma…” I mumbled, “Kristi is texting me, can I go now?” my mom rolled her eyes. “Introductions, then yes.” I put down my guitar and walked up to the family. “I’m Susan, as you might have guessed, this is Frank, Manny, and these are-” the smaller one walked up to me taking my hand. “bonjour beauté..” I looked at him questioningly. “I speak Italian. Not french,” I smiled. He blushed and dropped my hand. I turned to the other boy and looked up at him, his eyes following me. 

3rd POV: 

Earlier

     As the Heffleys arrived at the house, Rodrick put his headphones in and texted Bill. They started planning when our next band practice could be. He wasnt paying attention as he made his way up the stairs, causing him to step on Greg’s shoes. “Hey! Watch it bigfoot!” Greg snapped back, which only made Rodrick do it purposefully. “Mom, why do we even have to be babysat? We learned not to throw parties! Promise!” Susan turned to them quickly. “No, you learned how to be sneaky, not responsibility. So you are staying here. There are other boys here, you'll be fine. Your father and I need this, so please. Behave.” Greg looked at his shoes and Rodrick, well, rolled his eyes, popping his earbuds back in. He didnt even notice the half naked girl that was just walked in on. 

     As they stood in the dining room, Rodrick felt a light poke on his side. He ignored it, only to be poked again. He looked at Greg who was pointing at something. Rodrick looked up and locked eyes on her. His breath stopped and his hands instantly got warm and sweaty. Even his loud music went silent. He saw her lips moving but he couldn't focus on what she was saying, only how her lips moved and how her pale green eyes popped against the dark colors around them. Small strands of hair escaped her ponytail that hung against her back, bouncing with every step she took closer. Wait, is she walking over here? Well no shit, we are the only ones over here she could be walking towards. Think Rodrick, fuck. His eyes never left her, especially when she inched closer and closer at him.

He didn’t even realize she had said something until she looked at him and stopped talking for a moment. “Huh?” was all he could muster. He internally punched himself at his stupidity. Now is not the time to be dumb, get it together!  “I said, do you want some water? Your mouth seems a little… Dry..” she grinned and looked at his lips. He closed his mouth and shook his head, maybe a little more than he should have. She looked back at his eyes and spoke. “I’m going to assume you’re Rodrick. My bathing buddy?” my heart stopped. “W-What?” he asked rather fearfully. She tried to suppress her smile and looked at him, probably noticing how nervous he became at her words. “Mom was saying that we used to take baths together when we were babies.” The thought of them taking a bath together when they were babies made Rodrick cringe, but then another thought ran across his mind. A more present one, one that made him blush and wouldn't let him get words out. “Anyway, Ciao! A dopo, mamma, Papà!” with that she walked out, guitar in hand. Oh hell. This girl is gonna be the death of me. 

“I'll show you boys to your rooms!” Julieta announced. 

Well shit.

[vampirewillows]

was tagged by the ever lovely @zhalar to share 9 albums i've been listening to, thank you for the opportunity <3 i've included my self-indulgent commentary on each, and i tried to mostly pick ones that i've specifically been listening to recently! (ps. thank you for songs you shared in the previous tag game we had, several ended up on my playlists)

lazily tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just say i tagged you. i love hearing ppl talk about music

my album commentary under the read more cut bcs i ended up elaborating a lot

i. chappel roan, "the rise and fall of a midwest princess" — ALBUM of the YEAR. to me. i know it came out last year but still. no skips, love her and this album so so dearly. i need it on vinyl stat. inject that shit into my veins etc. current faves: guilty pleasure and super graphic ultra modern girl, but i did also recently listen to california for like a week non-stop

ii. ethel cain, "preacher's daughter" — again i'm LATE to this one, but as far as concept albums go, this is. the peak. like just. screaming crying throwing up, even. i made a powerpoint presentation abt this just so i could share its story with a friend. INSANITY. faves: american teenager, ptolemaea, sun bleached flies (i forgive it all as it comes back to me............. kill me)

iii. taylor swift, "tortured poets department" — i went to the eras tour earlier this month. speechless! wow. i still haven't recovered OR finished listening to all of anthology but i sure have been blasting who's afraid of little old me and but daddy i love him

iv. metteson, "look to a star" — actual album of the year for me. saw him live this spring and he was so so sweet (was manning his own merch booth afterwards and complimented my make up <3 also signed my vinyl) ANYWAY insane voice? like simply unbelievably beautiful. and this is just the debut album??? future records might simply eviscerate me i'm afraid. faves are second heart (!!!), naturally (but nothing comes natural to me / nothing comes naturally...... augh) and heavier than a heart

v. pet shop boys, "nonetheless" — breaking news my favourite old gay men are still releasing bops and bangers and heartbreaking melodies. this released close-ish to my birthday so i've claimed it as a birthday present. what more can i say, they're my favourite band of all time <3 faves rn: new london boy (skinheads will mock you, call you a fag / last laugh is yours, there's a brick in your bag!!) and bullet for narcissus

vi. orville peck, "stampede: vol. 1" — i adore this cowboy beyond measure. as i think i said in a different post, i don't usually care for features and duets, but this does indeed fucking slap. insane vocals as per usual. love the concept. can't wait for vol 2, and also, mr. peck PLEASE come to europe. faves: miénteme and cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other <3

vii. sea power, "disco elysium" — this is FINALLY on spotify!!! the game of all time, and the soundtrack is equally heartbreaking and hardcore (to the mega). i was going Through It at some point this spring and replayed DE and then just listened to burn baby burn outside whilst smoking. european depression core. faves rn: burn baby burn, saint-brune 1147 (small pinewood church) and precinct 41 major crime unit

viii. jan valta + adam sporka, "kingdom come: deliverance (OST)" — finally bought this recently when it was on sale and my god i'm so glad i did. an immensely entertaining game that you can tell was made with much love. henry of skalitz my SON. been listening to the soundtrack on/off, currently absolutely obsessed with the song poverty and famine (and särmä if you're reading i think you might vibe with this one?)

ix. alkemie, "pentiment (original soundtrack)" — rounding up with another video game soundtrack because i'll simply never get over pentiment. stole my heart in a major way. this soundtrack is STUNNING. can't do it justice with words. my faves rn: sic arsit historia kiersis and rüdeger's rehearsal

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[badgerhuan]

Mitsunoko :3c

@saltyfilmmajor NANCY HI I KNOW IT'S YOU

so I've waited until I'm stuck on a bus for about an hour to answer this on my phone bc otherwise it's going to turn into a 10 page propaganda manifesto with screenshots and I do not actually have the spoons for that.

they make me UNWELL.

Ship It

1. What made you ship it?

my beloved friend @twotwinks was playing through Ace Attorney Investigations and liveblogging it at me. and at one point jhe sent me a screenshot where Itonokogiri swears to follow Mitsurugi through thick and thin. and then was promptly dragged away from him kicking and screaming.

famous last words

jhe then started microdosing me with content about these two in the games, and after I told my treasured friend @maverickcalf about it they also started putting posts about them on my dash. and it took about three weeks before I caved and read through the entire ao3 tag of the ship in one night and. the rest is history, as they might say.

ive always had a passing interest in Gyakuten Saiban but just never got around to getting into it properly. I'd bought and played through a bit of GS6 when it first came out but didn't get very far bc of my limited Japanese then. when MT got really into it I thought it was the perfect chance for me to familiarize myself with the franchise (nothing better than a friend that infodumps) but I. never expected to fall into the franchise as hard as I did, especially not in This Specific Way. this will now be my entire personality for the next three years.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

god where do I START.

I think what really does strike me is in the first game, how much they clearly trust each other. Itonokogiri is Loud about it so we know clearly where he stands, but while Mitsurugi doesn't say it out loud there are so many scenes where his actions dictate he does trust Itonokogiri. small instances that makes you go HUH. like the fact that he feels bad about keeping things from Itonokogiri in Turnabout Goodbyes!! and the fact that Naruhodou suspected it would hurt him and WEAPONIZED that against him. like. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW IS THAT CANON.

another thing I love so much about them is that despite fitting the stereotypical roles of a smart character + a not so bright character, Mitsurugi is never condescending to Itonokogiri. it delighted me so much in Gyakuten Kenji 1 where Itonokogiri would have a question about something, and Mitsurugi would just explain it very plainly and straightforwardly to him, without judgement. it means so much to me!!! he never calls him dumb or stupid to his face!! even in his thoughts the most he does is phrase it tactfully in a way that doesn't outright insult Itonokogiri whenever he does something unexpected. I just. oughhh I love them so much.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

oh boy do I.

having only played the games in Japanese and only learned about the changes made in the English version through my friends, I strongly believe the English localization of the franchise is at best a pale comparison to the original and at worst a purposeful character assassination of many of the characters, ESPECIALLY Itonokogiri. to me, Ace Attorney is a completely different franchise from Gyakuten Saiban and the characters in the localization are not and will never be the same characters as the ones in the original. I respect the people in the fandom that love version of the ship and the characters in the localization but I need people to understand. they have a very different vibe from the original version of them. because Itonokogiri, a Japanese man, not understanding what a ceiling fan (katakana) is, and Gumshoe, an American, not understanding what a ceiling fan (English) is, have very different implications, and Mitsurugi's and Edgeworth's reactions differ greatly based on that.

I can never engage with the English-speaking fandom at large bc of that and it saddens me, but at this point I care about Mitsurugi and Itonokogiri's characterization in the original Japanese versions of the games Too Much to compromise on it.

oh and even among jp fans I am camp mitsunoko instead of nokomitsu (it's less about the top and bottom thing and more about the vibes and dynamics bc on GOD Itonokogiri would NEVER be the one to make the first move are you KIDDING ME) and that pigeonholes me into an even MORE niche corner LMAO.

anyway I think that still turned out longer than I meant for it to be sgskhsjs but godddd they plague my every waking thought. ITONOKOGIRI CHECKS UP ON MITSURUGI AFTER AN EARTHQUAKE. MITSURUGI ONLY TOLD ITONOKOGIRI ABOUT HIS TRIP ABROAD AND NO ONE ELSE. THEY CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT AND NEVER TALK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL. WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS.

[dykevanny]

TRANS GREG AND NESSA IM GONNA CRY OVER THEM. xe has totally bought every article physically possible in the mens section. AUGH.

and greg in skirts is everything…. ik it can be a lot harder to like. experiment (safely, at least) w ur gender presentation if everyone thinks ur a guy n u were raised a guy. cause ppl are still weird about guys in skirts! but ness wouldnt be weird abt it and xe knows that Look and even tho greg thinks shes being discreet (‘oh yeah i just want to grow my hair out cause i havent been able to before’ ‘oh no cassie just wanted to paint my nails, cant say no to her or else shell pull out her puppy eyes’ ‘cassie wanted to practice applying makeup to other ppl and i was her training dummy cause i didnt care’) ness knows. dudes like ive been there. but also she has no idea how to tell the twelve year old sib she adopted that its okay without freaking gregory out.

IM JUST THINKING OUT LOUD. i love them both sososo much.

I WAS ABOUT TO SEND THIS ASK BUT THEN I HAD A THOUGHT. DOES CASSIE KNOW,,,,,, shed totally let gregory borrow her skirts and accessories and shed do their makeup and nails for them and give all the tips and tricks for stuff they might not have been taught AND SHED BE SUCH A GOOD SUPPORTIVE FRIEND

(also no worries abt taking a while to respond! /gen)

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. UESSSSS YOU GET IT YESSSS YESSSSS…..it takes greg a while to. Open up abt it but ness being there as a positive role model openly genderfucked def helped him out so very much.. also freddy’s support.<3 he may not be trans but he’s also openly queer and does his best to make sure greg feels like he can be open about everything with him. The Father okay,,

and YES CASSIE KNOWS<3 in theoretical everything okay everything niceys au where cass and rox get out and find 3stars cassie (openly nonbinary for all the time they’ve been friends) is the first one greg asks about things. She is ofc so so supportive. Plus she has a new victim for playing dressup with<33 they are having a sleepover and roxy is there (even though she holds a grudge she’s never gonna pass up dressup.plus cassie said to be nice.plus she’s also trans cause i say so(which is why the foxy mysteriously disappeared ha ha….)) and i think cassie would def show greg how to dress fashionably. They would probably still dress like a bit of a loser though<3 i care them so much did you knowww

And YES🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥GREG SKIRT IS REAL.

[jommunism]

im still in my post-show-comedown period and cant sleep so time for a story :3

so, im in kaiju queers, we're a queercore punk band in denton, tx. i joined back in february of this year, taking the place of the former drummer

for this band, i bought a new-to-me drum set, a 2017 yamaha stage custom kit in cranberry red, and i LOVE them omg look at my pwetty dwumbz

its a 5 piece kit (pieces in drummer speak means drums, excludes cymbals/other pieces of kit), comprising a 20 inch kick, 14 inch snare, 10 and 12 inch rack toms, and a 14 inch floor tom. ive also carried over the 16 inch floor tom from my circa-2002 childhood pearl export kit for more boom

i also have a very odd cymbal configuration. from left to right, i have a set of 13 inch zildjian planet z hi-hats (cheap, brass beginner cymbals i got for $50 used), my childhood 18 inch sabian b8 crash/ride, a secondary hi-hat without a pedal using my childhood 14 inch sabian b8 hats, and a 20 inch b8 ride with a 12 inch b8pro splash mounted upside down on top of the ride

pic for reference

ANYWAY

in between practices/shows/etc my drums live in our frontwoman dana's house for convenience, we rehearse there and operate out of there on gig days, so while it makes practicing with the band far easier, it also means i dont have immediate access to my gear

however

it also means that my drums get used when im not around, like when dana jams with the rest of the band or with other musician friends

and on one such recent occasion, the former kaiju queers drummer (whos actually on the EP) was over jamming, using his kit, but when he packed up to leave, he took some of my kit with him

and then he put it in a friend's rehearsal space

so last week, i roll in for practice, and my hi-hat stand (with pedal) is gone, a cymbal stand is gone, my snare stand is gone, and the lil doohickey that goes into the kick drum and holds the rack tom and second hi-hat was gone too

but fuck it we ball, the show must go on, etc

so i had to improvise and make my already unconventional kit (there's a reason for all of it, promise!) even weirder

i used the one cymbal stand for the ride and splash like normal, and just went without a pedal hat (which was not pleasant), using the auxiliary contraption i built plugged directly into the kick

for toms, i used the smaller floor tom as a rack tom at times and as a double floor tom at others depending on the song

observe, shenanigans

this completely broke all my muscle memory for playing fills and other accent parts and i had to constantly adjust things and it never felt comfortable, but i managed

and at times it ended up making me more creative with improvising

oh and the kick kept sliding around on the carpet cuz the little rubber feetsies on the legs got pushed too far up and exposed the spikes which only grip by chewing into the floor

now for some band operational behind-the-scenes shit

when multiple bands are playing a show together, its rather common for one band's drummer to supply the core kit (kick, toms, sometimes a snare, stands/hardware) with each drummer swapping in their own cymbals and snare if desired

since i play such a weird and bigger than average kit (most drummers ive played with only use a 4 piece kit (one rack tom, one floor tom) with a handful using a second rack tom for a 5 piece)

i usually supply the drums for the show (called backlining)

but for last friday's show, i didnt have a full kit to bring, i had to use a backup snare stand (which is literally shaking itself apart) just to get thru rehearsal

so i had to play the backline drums from another band

and of course, that drummer uses a 4 piece kit, so i was having to adjust on the fly, on stage, during the show

i made it thru by bringing my own snare and larger floor tom along with the auxiliary hi-hat contraption, which made it not as bad as it could have been, but damn it was weird. that guy likes to keep his shit tuned LOW with almost like, flabby-loose heads on the toms, whereas i keep mine tuned up a bit higher, so my 16 inch floor tom (my lowest tuned not-a-kick drum) was dramatically higher pitch than his floor tom

and my muscle memory still was off, going for drums that werent there constantly

i got thru the show, but definitely wasnt my best work

for this past tuesdays practice, i still had to go without my normal set up, as the previous drummer still hadnt been back with my gear, so once again, had to improvise, using the smaller floor tom fully extended as a makeshift rack tom, and it went a little better

but i was so fuckin happy to see him roll up after practice that night with a trunk full of hardware

and for the show i just played a few hours ago, i was able to roll up and backline with my full 6 piece kit assembled how i like it :3

[romanarose]

Leather and Lace: Chapter 4

Santiago Garcia X OC

Previous part here : Next part here

Fic masterlist

While on the mission, Pope and the guys find a girl tied up in the basement of a drug lord. Through a few unforeseen circumstances, the girl and Pope get separated from Will, Frankie and Benny and have to find their way back in the woods. She doesn’t talk, is malnourished and traumatized, and Pope has the instinct to protect her at all costs.

(Pretend this is him leaning over a railing while talking to Fish okay)

WARNINGS!!!: for whole fic there’s gonna be violence, mentions of blood, mentions of sex trafficking, ptsd, sexual trauma (past), physical trauma, gunshots, eventual smut!! Don’t read just for the smut tho cuz it’s not smut focused.

Warnings: UUUHH maybe nothing really? Will being a dick? kissing? at worst? Kinda soft, lil angst then soft.

I wrote this,,,, SO TIRED. Not my best work tbh. I think I'm gonna keep updates to once a week until Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside is done bc between this, SSSB, Seattle, the han solo story ive been trying to finish for two years, and the one shots i wanna do AND taking 19 credits and working 4 days a week.... it's a lot. I want my work to remain as good as I know I'm capable of. Thank you for all for patience, and thank you for all your lovely encouragements! Fanfiction writing can be so thankless sometimes, it makes me so emo-tional to see your nice words. In the mean time, come read Sunshine! I've been told it's pretty bingeable if I do say so myself. I see a lot of people like it chapter by chapter and inhale it in a day or two. 27 chapters out of 33!

*****************

“Home sweet home” Santi opened his front door, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, despite being exhausted from the flight. He let her in, holding the door as she wandered in, carrying her backpack. Lace had refused to let Santiago Garcia carry it. He was already carrying his bags plus one of Benny’s, and she already felt uncomfortable with her dependance on him. Benny’s friend had picked them up, dropping Santi and Laci off at his place. Frankie and Will had stayed behind for a few extra days to finish what they were supposed to all do in the days after they raided the house. Unfortunately, between Santi’s disappearance from the house and Benny’s gunshot wound, they had gotten side tracked. Will had a fucking fit about Santi leaving, which had turned into some choice words and a Frankie once again having to separate them before it got too far. Frankie, who was less than thrilled about Santiago leaving with Laci, agreed Santiago should go. Ben wanted to stay as well, but his shoulder was still out of commission. Frankie also thought it was a good idea to separate Will and his injured brother to allow Will space to calm down without constantly seeing his brother damaged

Laci took in the space. She wore pants and a long sleeve, covering the array of bruises she was still recovering from. She turned to him with a smile. ‘It’s nice’  The place wasn’t huge, but it was clean, it was safe, and it was his. After he had retrieved the money that was thrown in the canyon, Santi had split it with his 3 other friends. Most of them felt… wrong, having the money, so they all kept the money aside for emergencies, donated a lot, and made a few smart purchases. All of them had bought houses, no mortgage. At the very least, they’d always have a home. 

“It’s late, but we can go to the store tomorrow and get you set up with some more clothes, anything else you need.”

She turned to him, nervous and shaking her head. “It’s fine”

“No, Lace it’s okay, let me do this.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get a job and get out of your hair” She dodged his eyes again. They had made a lot of progress, she was talking more freely, but she never held his eyes for long.

“Lace…” Pope wondered how he could make her see, make her believe that he just wanted to help her. He took her hands, careful not to startle her. “This… this is your home now. You can stay here as long as you need, I mean it. Don’t worry about working until you’re ready. Let’s get you set up with services, counseling, medical… Don’t even think about work yet.”

She leaned into him, holding tight on his hands but looking away. “Expensive.” She muttered.

He sighed. “Listen, it’s a lot to explain but… I came into some money recently. Don’t worry about that. Just…” He took her face in his hand, turning her face to him, and she finally looked at him. “Lace, let me take care of you” He kept her eye contact, watched her eyes searching his face. She was looking for a hint of a lie, of malicious intent. She found nothing but tenderness.

Before Santiago even had a moment to react, her lips were on his. He kissed back the moment their lips met, purely on instinct. When his brain caught up and realized it was her, it was her lips, chapped and hesitant, he kissed back with more fervor, wrapping his arms around his waist and she melted into his arms. Then, he realized what was happening. Santi pulled away, taking a few steps back and away from her, disgusted with himself.

“I’m sorry” He said all too quickly, as soon as he saw her distressed face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He expected her to cry or panic, he didn’t expect this response. Her face set into a nervous determination. She pointed at him and shook her head. Then she pointed at herself. ‘You didn’t do it, I did’

“I know,” He clarified. Here he was with a traumatized and vulnerable girl in his home, she probably felt obligated to sleep with him, she thought that's what he wanted… He scrubbed his face, then looked back at her. Laci’s face was red, looking at the floor. She was embarrassed. “Can we just… let's pretend this never happened, okay? Finish showing you around?”

She nodded, not talking. Santi fought the urge to sigh again. Two steps forward, one step back. “C’mon, I’ll show you the yard.” He wanted to just block out the last two minutes from their collective memories. He started walking toward the sliding glass doors, but stopped when he heard her footsteps stop. He turned around and saw her staring at his bookshelf, staring at the 5 porcelain dolls on the top shelf.

She cocked her eyebrow up at him with a teasing smile. ‘Yours?’

He smiled, happy the tension was gone. “My sister’s, actually.”

Laci grinned, still lookin at the pretty, well cared for dolls, but was slightly nervous. She pointed to the house in general “does she live here?”

Santi’s kind smile waved a tad. “She died. It’ll be two years next month. Overdose.”

She turned to him, but he remained focused on the shelves, so she turned back. After a moment, she spoke. “My brother. I was 20. He raised me after our parents died.” Another pause as Laci took a shaky breath. “Suicide.”

Santi took her hand.

******************

A week later, Santi was parking his car on Frankie’s street. “You sure you’re okay? We can still turn around, Fish will understand.”

Laci had thought she was hiding her anxiety well, but somehow, Pope always knew what she was thinking. This was helpful, seeing as she still hardly spoke. It came and went in moments, he was never exactly sure what caused her to start or stop talking. If she was anxious or upset she shut down, but sometimes there didn’t seem to be a cause.

She looked at him with a little smile. ‘It’s fine. You want to go, so we’ll go.’ The two of them had gone everywhere together this week, every appointment and every meeting with a social worker or doctor. He wouldn’t leave her at the house alone, and he knew she would insist on going despite her reservations. She had asked who was coming. Pope knew that was code for ‘is Will coming’. The two of them had yet to interact. With Frankie, at least, he made an attempt to speak to her, dropping by when he got back to the states and asking yes/no questions to Laci so she didn’t feel left out. Will hadn’t been over, nor had be called. But she was fairly comfortable around Ben. Benny had been over a few times, and Laci even let Santi leave the room to go to the bathroom or get snacks, leaving her alone with Ben while they watched tv. Always Sunny in Philadelphia, of all things. It made him smile when he’d return to the room, watching her and Benny laughing out loud together. 

They hadn’t addressed the kiss and neither made a move, but the tension was palpable some days. Her first full day there, she had tried to make him dinner while Pope showered. When he heard a bunch of banging, he rushed out, only stopping to wrap a towel around his waist and ran to the kitchen. He found Laci  cleaning up a bunch of pans that had fallen on the floor. Looking up, her eyes widened as she stared at his shirtless torso. When her eyes flicked up to him, they stayed like that for a moment, Santi trying to read her face. He was good at it, he usually knew what she was saying or thinking… right then, she was unreadable.

She took his hand as Pope let himself in through the back gate and she took in the scene. It was a small gathering, Frankie had promised that it would just be the guys. Frankie usually held a cook out when everyone comes back from a mission, a way for everyone to decompress. Usually, it was a fucking party. Alcohol, lots of friends, family, and any random stranger Benny had met off the street that day. Today was small. Ever the peacekeeper, Frankie was hoping Will would warm up to Laci. Fish recognized, even if Pope was in denial, that Laci was going to be  part of things for a long time. On a phone call with Ben while he was still out of the country, Benny had told him he thought something was going on between the pair, that they were absolutely inseparable. Benny was the one that noticed Santi’s watch was missing on the flight, and relayed the story Pope told him to Frankie.

“Hey guys!” Benjamin Miller swaggered over, hugging Santi and putting his hand on Laci’s shoulder. “C’mon! I’m on grill duty” It was a warm day, and now that Laci got to pick out her clothes, he found she liked to wear a lot of flowers. Her dress today was pink and white floral and a flowy skirt.

“Oh god,” Pope muttered, following the blonde boy.

“Relax, Garcia. Fish is cooking, I’m just in charge of making sure the burgers don’t burn.” Benny, Laci and Santi stood on the deck for a few minutes before Will opened the screen door, and he felt Laci tense.

He was carrying pop, tossing one to Ben and one to Santi, one for himself. 

Santi called him out. “C’mon man, don’t be a dick.” He felt Laci’s hand on his arm, and turned to see her face. ‘Let it go’

Will rolled his eyes and cracked open his pop. Benny handed his to Laci “Here, I’m grabbing a beer” He walked into the house, grabbing Will with him and shutting the glass door, no doubt about to chew out Will.

Santiago turned to her “Sorry Lace, he’s being a dick.”

“You don’t have to… defend me or anything. I don’t want you guys to start fighting…” After learning about Santi’s sister’s death, and how most of his family is gone, she started to realize what these men meant to him. She didn’t want to be the one to cause any more problems than she already had.

Will and Benny returned, Will looking irritated but calmer. “Here” He handed Laci a snack pack of cheetos. A small gesture, but a gesture nonetheless. 

Laci kept looking at the floor, but touched her hand to her mouth, then moved it out. ‘Thank you’ in sign language. Ben had taught Laci several basic sign language phrases to prepare for the party. All the guys know passable sign language, and this way she could communicate a few things without having to talk or have Santi translate her facial expressions.

When the door opened, Will’s grumpy face lit up. “Here’s the woman of the hour!” And held out his arms to snatch the little girl from Frankies arms. The one year old practically dived into Will’s arms. It was strange for Laci to see Will not glowering. One by one, each of the guys held the tiny toddler, Laci was absolutely enthralled with the sight of Santi holding the adorable girl, blowing raspberries on her stomach.

“Laci?” Frankie spoke up. “Would you like to hold her?”

Laci nodded frantically, and held out nervous arms for Frankie’s daughter. The 18 month old was hesitant to leave her tio’s arms, but once she was in Laci’s around, she put her little hands on Laci’s face. It was an immidiet bond between the two.

“Rosie,” Frankie steps over to the two girls, tickling the toddlers neck. “Meet Laci. Laci, this is Fatima Rosa Maria Morales Ferndanez. Or Rosie, as we usually call her, when she’s not in trouble.”

Benny smiled at his friend and his niece. “Powerful name for a powerful little girl.” 

Frankie noticed Laci’s eyes welling up and her lip quivering. “You okay, Laci?” 

Santi kicked himself for not picking up on her discomfort, moving to take Rosie out of Laci’s arms, but Laci held on, looking at the little girl adoringly. She turned and whispered to Santiago, who then turned to his friend, smiling. “She said she’s beautiful, Frankie.” Frankie smiled back.

The evening had been delightful. Santi always enjoyed seeing the guys, especially after a particularly stressful mission. Even if Will was being a bit of a dick. It wasn’t bad, Will knew how to tow a line, that was for sure. Just enough where Santi didn’t feel it was worth making a scene, but enough where his irritation was growing. Laci was mostly oblivious, she had Rosie on her hip, even so much as straying away from her ever-attachment at Santi’s side to play with her in the grass. Santi leaned over the deck, beer in hand as he watched her. 

“I think Rosie has a friend.” Frankie joined him, looking at his daughter lovingly.

“Yeah.” Santi’s smile was huge. Frankie knew he was down bad.

“How’s she been adjusting?”

“She’s doing alright, considering. Therapy starts next week and she’s been to a few medical appointments, got her on meds, a diet to get back the nutrients she lost. Dentists gotta do some work, shit like that. She’ll have… she’ll have her moments. It’s hard to watch.”

Frankie nods. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I’ll find her asleep on the couch watching tv. She had to get on medicine for the nightmares, they seem to help, but she likes the light. She says the TV helps her focus. She watches Friends reruns. She doesn’t even like Friends, It’s just something else to think about, nothing serious, stupid sitcom.” He paused, unsure if he should say it, but if he could be honest with anyone, it was Fish. “She kissed me”

Frankie laughed. “Oh yeah. She kissed you.”

Pope turned to Frankie, finally looking at him “I’m serious!... I mean… I kissed back.”

“There it is.” Fish smirked.

Pope was defensive. “She did! Fish I would never want her to think she has to do anything just because I’m helping her.”

“But you wouldn’t mind if you and her… we’re together?.”

Pope rolled his eyes, “Well, she’s-” pretty he was about to say, turning back to Laci. She was on her back, legs up in the air with Rosie on her feet, playing superman. Laci’s skirt rode up, showing off the smooth curve of her ass. “Oh fuck” Santi and Frankie quickly turned out, but gave each other a side-eyed smile. 

An hour later, Frankie was putting Rosie to bed, and Laci was back to Santiago’s side. When Frankie came back, everyone was gathered on the porch. “Hey Santi, I think you forgot something.” He tossed the watch to his friend.

“Fish, what the shit? How did you…?” Santi hugged Fish tighty “Hermano, how did you know I lost it?”

“Benny can’t keep a secret for the life of him.” 

Benny meely shrugged, smiling.

Will, however, was confused. “Wait, is that Fatima’s watch?” He looked back and forth between Fish and Pope. “Why does Catfish have it?”

“I um…” Pope hesitated, his grin fading. “When we were in the forest, I sold it to get some food and water…”

“What the fuck Pope?” Will looked irrationally irritated.

Frankie put a hand on Will’s arm, trying to calm him. “Calm down.”

Will shrugged him up. “You sold Fatima’s watch because of her? Jesus Pope, what the hell?” 

Pope put himself in front of Laci instinctively. “Back the fuck off, Ironhead. Now.”

Will look at Santi condescendingly. “What is she doing to you man? She almost got you killed, now you’re just being her bitch”

Ben saw it coming before Santi even made a move, smacking Frankie, signaling him to move. Ben grabbed Pope, holding him back as he went to punch Will and luckily, Frankie caught Ben’s message and grabbed Will’s shirt, warning him not to do anything. Laci stepped backwards until her back hit the deck railing, and there she froze.

“What is your fucking problem Will?!” Santi shouted at the much taller man.

“Do you have ANY IDEA how close you came to dying, Pope? It’s a goddamn miracle you didn’t get your head blasted open! You and Ben could’ve died! Then what? Do we spit up the money again and give it to your non-existent family and pretend it’s okay? If Ben died, would you just give me a pat on the back and say ‘Oh, sorry!’ and move on?”

Santi was in too much of a blind fury to possess what Will was saying “None of that has ANYTHING to do with her!” Santi pointed to the scared girl in the corner of the deck, clutching onto the railing for dear life.

“I told you we needed to move, but you never fucking listen! You had to baby her, you had to play knight in shining armor and rescue the pretty girl, meanwhile Benny gets shot and you literally dodge a bullet!”

Benny mumbles something about not bringing him into this, but no one was listening. Benny knew he wasn’t getting anywhere. Santi and Will would hash this out, Frankie would stop them from killing each other. He looked over to see Laci scared as shit. Carefully, he walked over to her. Her eyes were shut tight, but she knew it was Ben, because she knew what Santi’s hand felt like.

“Enough!” Frankie shouted after a few more pointless back and forths. “You guys hear that?” Through the upstairs window, everyone could hear Rosie crying. “You guys woke up and probably scared the shit out of my baby, not to mention Laci.” Santi suddenly noticed she had left his side, and felt a tinge of guilt and jealousy to see her so scared, but also holding the handsome young man’s hand. “Santi, Will, go inside and fucking sort this out like adults.” He noticed Santi glance to Laci again. “She’ll be fine, man. Jesus, Ben will be here. I’m going to put my daughter to bed and I swear to god, if you wake her up again, we’re gonna have a problem.”

Will and Santi stormed off, and Frankie went upstairs to try and put his toddler back to bed. Benny and Laci stood in silence as Laci held his hand tightly. They couldn’t hear what Will and Santi were saying, but it sounded calmer. After a while, Will opened the door, looking embarrassed. “I need to talk to her” he told Ben.

 “No way man-”

“Okay.” The Miller brothers turned to Laci, eyes finally open and looking directly at Will for the first time.

Hesitantly, Benny let go of her hand, telling Will not to be an asshole, closing the screen door instead of the glass door. “Can I close the glass door? I don’t want them eavesdropping.” Laci nodded, and Will closed it. Much like Santi, Will scrubbed his face. “How much did Santi tell you about our history together.”

She held up her fingers together. ‘Very little’

“He tell you bout Tom?”

She shook her head.

Will sighed. “Last year, a mission went wrong. I got shot.” Despite how much of an ass he had been, he swore he saw a bit of pity on her face. “But we had another friend, his name was Tom. He got killed after things went very, very wrong and… I think I’ve always held onto a lot of anger and guilt over it. A lot of feelings I don’t know how to let out in a normal way. Seeing my brother get shot, and those few days where I thought Santi had been killed or taken, I think… Well I think maybe it brought a lot of feelings out. I don’t know if Santi told you, but Benn is my brother. My actual brother, I mean. I know we all refer to each other as brothers…” he trailed off, realizing he was rambling. “I thought I was going to watch him die…” He shuffled his feet, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

Surprisingly, she spoke up, although barely audible ”I didn’t ask for any of this…”

God, that hurt. Of fucking course she didn’t. This poor girl had gone through hell, and here he was making her feel worse. “I know. And I’m really sorry. I’m not good at this kind of thing…” Despite his best efforts, his voice was just a little choked up. It was a high emotion week. “I don’t really have a good excuse, but I am sorry. I know you’re going to be around a while, maybe forever-” he cut himself off. He didn’t exactly know what Santi and her relationship was., and wasn’t sure if they knew either.“I don’t want to make an enemy out of you, and I don’t want to be the person who makes you feel worse.”

Laci thought for a second, then smiled a soft, nervous smile. She tentatively walked towards him. “It’s okay.”

He shook his head. “It’s not-”

She held up a hand. He didn’t need Santi to translate that. “I get… I get really angry sometimes. Sometimes I get angry at Santi and he did nothing wrong. He doesn’t know. I push it down. But sometimes I worry I won’t be able to stop it. It’s okay.” 

Will nodded. He felt like they had an understanding, at least.

She walked past him, going to find Santi. When Laci found him, he surprised her with a hug. “Are you okay, Lace?” He asked, rubbing her back.

“Yeah, I’m great. Take me home please?” She nestled her head into his chest, taking in his smell.

On the drive home, Laci asked about the watch.

“My sister gave it to me a few months before she died.” He took it off, handing it to her. “The inscription translates to ‘count all the stars and add one more’ it’s about how much the singer loves someone. It’s a song by Jesse and Joy and it features Luis Fonsi” Santi turned to her, smiling sadly “I couldn’t stand Luis Fonsi, but my sister loved him.” He turned back to the road. “Her name was Fatima. Frankie named his daughter after her. He and I grew up together. Anyway, she gave me this watch as a half joke since I hated the song. Now it’s one of my favorites. I think she knew she was dying.”

Laci put her hand on his shoulder. Usually, their touches were for Laci’s sake. This was for Santi’s. “That’s really sweet, Santi. And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Muñecita. For Will.”

“I think Will and I are going to get along fine.” She turned to him. “I like your friends a lot.”

Santi smiled. “Yeah, I do too.

***************

THANK YOU FOR READING! Reblogs help a lot, comments mean the world! lmk if you'd like to be added to my tag list!

Since google doesn’t really translate it, Muñecita means little doll. Muñeca is doll, and adding -ita makes a name or object diminutive.

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings