#ive been looking periodically for some time and it finally showed up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

toxic3mmy · 7 months ago

Note

haiiii :3 can you perhaps do alex comforting you after you find out you guys are pregnant? >~<

ummm yes!!!!!! is that even a question!!!!

prompt: you find out you and alex are pregnant together

no warnings! fluff!!!!

you found yourself pacing back and forth in your restroom. you were practically biting your nails completely off as you waited. finally your phone timer vibrated. you sat on the toilet lid and took a deep breath.

the pregnancy test was laid in your hand. you slowly flipped it over and saw those two little lines. you didn’t know what to do.

of course you were ecstatic! ever since you got with alexis, you decided that you wanted a family with him. it was just… very unexpected and a lot earlier than you planned. you hadn’t even brought up family making talk with alex.

oh god, alex…

as if on cue, a light knock on the restroom door brought you back down to earth.

“baby? are you okay? you’ve been in there for quite some time…” he jingled the doorknob to let him in

you quickly looked everywhere for a hiding spot for the pregnancy test and the box it came. you shoved it under the sink and pulled yourself together.

you slowly unlock the door and put on a fake smile for your boyfriend.

“hi”

“what’s wrong? were you throwing up again or?” he asked, worry written all over his face

“no i was um pooping… i had a coffee earlier and it did not settle well in my stomach” you laughed, trying to seem normal. you needed time to prepare for the talk with alex. you had absolutely no clue of how he’d react to the news.

“i told you too much caffeine is bad for ya… well, sorry for interrupting you. i thought something was wrong. i’ll leave you to it then” he laughed lightly

and just like a god damn miracle, the box flopped out from under the sink. you should’ve cleaned that cabinet out a long time ago. it was so full that the damn pregnancy test just decided to show itself. your eyes teared up as alex walked forward and pulled out the test from inside the box.

“y/n… is this? is this real? please tell me it’s a prank..”

anger filled within you. he wanted this to be a joke?!

“i knew you would react like this! i don’t need you! i don’t need anyone! i can raise my baby alone!” tears were now streaming down your face as you spoke

alex had a sad look on his face. he stepped forward and grabbed your face in his warm hands. you sniffled and looked at him.

“baby girl… i never said i didnt want the baby. yeah, it’s a little bit early but i would never hesitate to raise a baby with you. i want to be the baby’s father.” he gently dried your face of tears

“you mean that?”

“of course i do y/n. you had me worried.. i thought you would force me to leave you or assume i wanted you to have an abortion. i want you and.. i want the baby” he smiled softly, relief evident on his face

“i guess i do assume the worst in situations like this. this is 100% your fault by the way! you can’t keep your hands off me!” you laugh, teasing your boyfriend a bit

“i guess you’re right on that one. but isn’t it your fault for being so sexy in the first place?” he smirked

“oh shut up!”

“but in all seriousness, how far along are you?” he asked, taking your hand in his

“i think three weeks? i haven’t had my period in three weeks and ive been pretty nauseous daily ever since”

“that makes sense. im really sorry for not being responsible and wearing condoms. but are you sure you want to keep it? i’m not saying i don’t want you to but i just wanna make sure you think about it, i mean a baby is a big decision” he rubbed your hand soothingly

“im really sure alex.. are you sure you still want me? i’m never going to have this body again and.. i’m scared of you losing interest in me after i have the baby” you said, feeling insecure about how much you’re going to change throughout this pregnancy

“is that what you’re worried about, mi vida? that’s got to be one of the silliest things i’ve ever heard. you being pregnant won’t stop me from loving you.. nor will it change my attraction for you, if anything, i find it really attractive..” he said, touching your smooth face gently

“you do?”

“i do. you’ll be carrying our baby. our baby.. the product of our love. you’ll have a growing being inside of you that’ll have both our features. and seeing a baby grow inside of you that’s mine and yours… that’s goddamn attractive if you ask me” he chuckled lightly

“oh alex” you let out a sob, practically jumping into his arms as he held you close to his chest

“don’t worry baby girl, we’re gonna be fine. i’ll do everything in my power to make sure you and our baby are okay and safe, okay?” he said with a kiss to your temple

“yeah… i’ll have the best man in the world helping me raise our baby..” you snuggled into him more

“you make it sound like i’ll be an amazing father. i mean i can see myself being the best father possible but i can’t say i’ll be perfect. i’ll definitely do my very best to be a good father because our baby deserves it” he explained, caressing your hair

“woah… daddy alex? that’s pretty hot, im not gonna lie. i kinda see where you’re coming from that me being pregnant is attractive to you” you pulled back a bit to look at him as you spoke. you saw him visibly freeze

“did you just… did you just call me daddy??” he blinked a few times, processing what you just said

“you’re already an amazing daddy to me, always taking care of me. i’m good practice, no?” you practically purred, loving the blush that crept out onto his cheeks

“th-that’s, th-that’s not what i meant!” he stuttered, very flustered,

“i mean yeah i take care of you and look after you to the best of my abilities… but d-daddy?” he continued

“i know what you meant alexis, i think i just have a lot of hormones in my body right now. i think… i think these baby hormones are making me feel stuff already. i mean, the thought of you being a father is really sexy… im definitely turned on, not gonna lie” you confessed, not even feeling embarrassed

“so daddy alex then, huh?” he smiled, the blush still bright on his face

“mhm…”

“i dont know what got into you but, hey im not complaining” he chuckles and wraps his arms around you

“you’re such a dream..” you sigh

“y tu eres la mujer de mis sueños, eres la cosita mas hermosa y perfecta que me ha pasado” he said lovingly to you

“god, im going to love you forever”

“i love you so much too, forever. this baby will definitely make that love even stronger”

“i agree, mi amor”

“by any chance, have you thought of any baby names? i know you said you thought about us having a family and stuff..” he asked randomly

“i have actually, have you?”

“it’s kinda weird but i have. for a boy, i think carlos or joan and for a girl maybe paz or xochil” he said thoughtfully and you gushed at the fact that he even thought of baby names

“those are actually really pretty. i was thinking for a boy, ezekiel or alexis jr and for a girl something like hyacinth or eliana” you said

“are… are you serious” alex asked, looking down at the floor

“yes, i mean its perfect. i’ve always adored your name and he could be our little junior” you shrugged as if it wasn’t the biggest compliment to alexis

“our little junior… that’s just… wow, i have no words” he smiled

“maybe if it’s a girl, she can have my name or something similar?” you said after a minute

“it’s settled then. if it’s a boy, alexis junior and if it’s a girl, she’ll have your beautiful name” he smiled, leaning in to give you a quick kiss

“then it’s decided” you agreed

“can you promise me something? well, two things” he asked

“sure baby”

“can you please promise not to stress yourself about this pregnancy? i don’t want anything bad happening to you or our baby..”

“yes alex, i promise”

“and also… please don’t stop loving me after the baby is born. i know it’s common for women to have postpartum depression and things like that or even resentment towards the father for getting them pregnant… but i promise to do everything in my power to ensure a good life for you and our baby. i’m going to do everything for us, y/n. just, please don’t stop loving me…” his gaze shifts to the ground once again

“ay mi corazóncito… i could never ever stop loving you. you’re the only person i want to raise a family with… you’re my family” you say genuinely

“oh my god… thank you amor. thank you for everything. i’ll take care of you, okay?”

“okay alex” you nodded and after a while,

“maybe… maybe we should celebrate” you say suggestively

“oh… you mean..” he said innocently

“yeah..”

“yes… we definitely should celebrate” he nodded

“well then get to it daddy, mommy needs tending to”

alex lifts you from the toilet seat cover and takes your hand in his. he leads you to your bedroom and he made love to you. he was absolutely gentle and just overall a gentleman, tending to your needs.

he was going to be an amazing father, that was for sure.

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity x y/n #quackity fanfic

79 notes · View notes

dreaminginthedeepsouth · 1 month ago

Text

David Rowe

* * * *

Good morning. This is what fascism looks like.

Lucian K. Truscott IV

Oct 26, 2024

It crept in overnight, while we were sleeping. Fascism showed its face not with jackboots and concentration camps…not yet, anyway…but rather as just another day in Capitalist America. Two major media companies, the Washington Post and the LA Times, made decisions to capitulate to the man they fear will be elected president before a single vote has been counted. They decided not to run editorials endorsing their preferred candidate for president, Kamala Harris, because the owners of the companies, Jeff Bezos and Patrick Soon-Shiong, are afraid if they anger Donald Trump, he will hit them where it hurts: In their pocketbooks.

Bezos sees himself as particularly vulnerable to the wrath of Donald Trump. Before he left office in 2021, Trump appointed a puppet to run the United States Postal Service (USPS): Louis DeJoy, a long-time Republican fund-raiser and major Trump contributor who was appointed as one of three deputy finance chairmen of the Republican National Committee shortly after Trump took office in 2017. The USPS prioritizes package delivery for Amazon and sets the price it pays for the service. Trump has threatened Bezos with jacking up his Amazon delivery prices before, in 2018. The Postmaster General was then Megan Brennan, appointed during the Obama administration, who resisted Trump’s demand to raise delivery prices, but such resistance is unlikely to happen if Trump is elected and DeJoy is there to carry out his wishes.

This is the way it happens. An autocrat like Donald Trump, with his history of impulsive decisions and threats against perceived enemies, has two billionaires cowering in fear, and he didn’t even have to pick up the phone.

Fascism is not an all-at-once transformation. We’ve already had our Brownshirt day, on Jan. 6, 2021, when Trump’s MAGA army stormed the Capitol waving Confederate and Nazi flags and assaulting police officers and attempting to hunt down and kill Nancy Pelosi and Mike Pence, all of it, we now know, with Trump cheering them on from the White House. Fascism uses symbols – MAGA this time, Swastika last time – to rally followers, and then it feeds them fear and lies and the demonization of minorities and others perceived as not like us.

I don’t even know that you can name the period of fascism we’re in right now. Giving it a name doesn’t matter. What matters is that it is happening right in front of our eyes, and little if nothing is being done about it, other than fascism finally being called out by political leaders such as Kamala Harris and other Democrats, and some news organizations have at last crossed the Rubicon of using the “F” word of fascism and the “H” word of Hitler in the same sentences with Donald Trump.

What can we do? We can all vote for Kamala Harris and whatever Democrat is running for whatever office in your district and state.

Journalists everywhere, but particularly at the Washington Post and LA Times, have a crucial role to play right now. It is journalism about Donald Trump’s crimes and political extremism that has revealed him as not just a totalitarian politician, but as a man consumed with a fascist lust for absolute power. It has been people like Timothy Snyder and Heather Cox Richardson who have put Trump’s rise in historical perspective and compared what is happening right now in this country to what happened nearly a century ago in Germany with the rise of Hitler, when German corporate titans of the day bowed down to him in fear.

Now the reporters and editors at the Post and the LA Times can help show the world what contemporary fascism looks like by refusing to countenance the craven subservience of their owners. There are leaders at the Washington Post, in particular Bob Woodward and Eugene Robinson and David Ignatius and Ruth Marcus and Karen Tumulty, who can show the way for their colleagues by leading a newspaper-wide walk out. With what we are seeing every day from Donald Trump, they can call it a “Strike Against Fascism,” or “A Call to Arms.”

You might accuse me as a freelancer of not taking seriously the possibility that people at both papers might lose their jobs for leading or participating in a walk-out. But people have already resigned in protest at both papers. This isn’t a time to show fear. It’s a time to stand up to power. The writers and editors have a lot to lose, but they have already been treated as expendable, and they’ve been told they are in danger of losing their jobs anyway.

The guy Bezos put in as publisher of the Post, former Murdoch hitman Will Lewis, bluntly told Post staffers when he was appointed, “We are losing large amounts of money. Your audience has halved in recent years. People are not reading your stuff. I can’t sugarcoat it anymore.” He could have been talking as well to the staffs of the New York Times and the three major television networks and cable news like CNN and MSNBC. All of them are in an existential crisis at this crucial moment in our history. Newspapers are closing across the country. Television networks and cable news shows are hemorrhaging viewers.

The arrival of Bezos and Soon-Shiong to “rescue” two major American newspapers has shown us how hollow were any hopes that billionaires will or even can make a difference in today’s economic and political climate.

But workers can make a difference. With ten days to go until the election, let’s see if a day with no newspaper in Washington D.C. and Los Angeles can make a difference. Maybe a strike will teach reporters and editors and the rest of us that we are beyond the point of being able to affect our lives and the lives of others. Or maybe rallying against the fascism that has been stealing our national politics will help to send more people to the polls to vote for Kamala Harris on November 5.

I do know this: When you are bullied, you STAND UP or you lose your self-respect and your dignity and your right to life. The fascism of Donald Trump would take away all three.

Lucian Truscott Newsletter

#Lucian Truscott Newsletter #Lucian Truscott #Bezos #Soon-Shiong #newspaper #Fascism #will Lewis #billionaires #WAPO #Washington Post #LA Times

12 notes · View notes

rkrkerked · 6 hours ago

Text

details about memoir of rati (aouboom specific)

im back and finally over my disappointment

overall I do find most of the series in the gmm lineup interesting. obviously memoir of rati but also the shows featuring g4 (this one is hmm bc im not big on religious trauma, i just have a hard time relating, but the production looks insane so im hopeful), taynew (marcpoon subplot <3) and perthsanta (i know some ppl are iffy but it could be v interesting if done well) all look amazing and are in my ballpark. hopefully the directors and writers actually put in effort and do them justice.

memoir of rati honestly looks and sounds great. i love period dramas and aouboom suit their roles v well while it also being something very new for them. greatinn are gorgeous and ive heard great things about them. im excited! so i thought id compile some info ive heard about production while we wait.

Filming starts in February so we might get AouBoom in this before P10L lol (probably not because I think PerthSanta’s story starts soon - idk im still waiting to catch up so cmiiw -)

AouBoom’s characters aren’t actually in the book (or they are but they aren’t in a rs or anything) so their story is completely new and being written in rn (which makes me think…)

The project does seem to be very big. It’s a channel 3 production and it being second to last on the reveal makes me think that this will be one of the main series pushed by gmm for next year (yay).

The novel writer is very active on twt (here) and seems to also be pretty involved in the project. They’ve stated that they’ll try to ask about putting in a special episode for AouBoom’s characters (bc of the enthusiasm?). Seems like production is still working out a lot of the story.

A Thai fan did a great compilation of the characters but idk Thai. Just thought I should leave it here anyways.

General gist of the characters -

Mek (Aou): Servant of Dech or Rati (Inn’s character), boxer on the side secretly, could have been a servant for the family since childhood so there’s a chance he knew Dech for awhile because they talk more casually to each other but maybe not.

Dech (Boom): Son of a high ranking officer (?), basically like Rati’s younger cousin, spoiled, doesn’t like studying and just wants to play around. He snuck out to try boxing and got beaten up by Mek. He’s taking French lessons too since he was in the classroom with the other officers.

Aou was with a vocal coach yesterday so either they’ll get an OST or (more probable) it’s for the dance collab that’s been hinted for him, Pond, Santa and Joong.

Talks of fanmeets/fancon and the cast doing Thai traditional dancing have been floating around.

Boom’s not a fan of his hair style lmao so we might see a different styling for the actual show (but I think he looks good and quite distinguished).

A lot of Thai fans think that they’ll have a sad ending because of the setup and it’s more likely for the second cp. I’d be down tbh…but maybe not if I get too attached.

#gmmtv25 #gmmtv 2025 #aouboom #memoir of rati #gmmtv

11 notes · View notes

9w1ft · 1 month ago

Note

Hi 9! I've been supzr busy and its hard to catch up. I'm wondering if "we're watching a specific date rn or if there's a new pattern of hints from Taylor that we're examining?

hello!

don’t worry, i think it’s hard for anyone to stay on top of stuff these days!!

for me, i’m not watching a specific date at this time, but i have my eyes on november in terms of a potential tv announcement somewhere. i just have a feeling that taylor will probably announce a 2025 release date for either rep or debut or both while she is still touring. and i think she might also announce another tour movie before the tour ends, maybe on the final night. she has concerts until december 8th, hence why im interested in november! she’s giving us plenty of reasons to continue to tune in.

let me summarize some of the stuff i’ve noticed skimming twitter while watching the miami show livestreams

i did see on twitter that a swiftie has a theory that maybe she’ll release rep during one of the indianapolis dates? which i thought was sort of interesting? so you can take a look at that if you’re interested.

more generally i saw more than a few people (i think gaylors?) point out some stuff about the timing of lent (the religious holiday) or about how new orleans is the location for mardi gras, and mardi gras is also known as “fat tuesday” and is held on the day before lent starts (“ash wednesday”) and is supposed to be a celebration where you eat a lot in anticipation of fasting for lent. lent is a period of time observed by christians leading up to easter, a period to reflect on jesus’s death and resurrection. taylor sang guilty as sin? at this last concert before going to new orleans, and there’s the line “what if i roll the stone away? they’re gonna crucify me anyway” which to me is a direct reference to the bible story about the stone door in front of jesus’s tomb rolling away with his resurrection, which ties to lent kinda… just this idea that maybe she’s gearing up to do something big?

for a lot of gaylors that something big is assumed to be a coming out i think? at the recent miami shows, she debuted a new reputation outfit, and she wore new surprise song dresses that were widely seen as being bi colors and lesbian colors, so i think this is contributing to the hype. so would she do some sort of death/resurrection arc in new orleans… and then come out in… *checks notes* …indianapolis? i’m not too sure about that but i had a mutual point out to me that indianapolis *is* home to the indy 500, so, race cars..getaway cars.. a checkered flag, mayhaps?

anyway, as i’m sure you know, i’m not expecting anything huge but i do think that we have prime conditions for a content drop of some sort, so, ive been keeping one eye open for something like that 🥴

7 notes · View notes

vwoop-prince · 10 months ago

Text

spoilers for the pjo show episodes 1-7

as of 10pm pst 25/01/2024 i have finished watching episode 7 of the pjo show and i was going to wait and see the final episode before posting my thoughts but i feel like critisism is fine at all points of a show so. this accidentally turned into the majority of my points & some are just poking fun/funny notes

some notes before i get into complaining: im having fun. this is fun for me. complaining about differences is fun for me. if its not for you, dont read this. i also havent even read mark of athena EVER and the last time i properly read a pjo book was in 2021. ive been skimming the first book alongside watching the episodes. and i am not seriously pissed off about the show as a whole. there are parts im pissed off at. there are parts that i think are fucking hilarious comparatively. there are parts im neutral on. i dont hate this show on principle just bc its not the books.

anyway the funniest takeaway from this adaptation is that we can literally complain down to a single grain of sand. if that vibe isnt what you like, maybe dont open the read more

yeah its hilarious how they changed the "grover nearly falls into tartarus" scene from gravel floor in the books to a sand floor in the show. idk why they did it but i can complain down to a single fuckin grain of sand. this is hilarious

look okay i love hades. just. period. in the actual myths, in the pjo books, how most people characterize him as a whole, and how i worship him as a pagan. notice how i didnt mention the show. like. show!hades is fine. hes just not book!hades. not even CLOSE. wheres the yelling? the "and I will have my helm back!" wheres the "He was the third god I'd met, but the first who really struck me as godlike." in the show hes just flamboyant. in the books hes a drama King and rightfully angry and complains about the state of his realm. whyd they do this to him. what the fuck

on the topic of godly gods. only hermes and hades have seemed like gods. hermes more than hades. ares, dionysus, and hephaestus are all just Guys. just some fuckin dudes. and the only reason hermes and hades actually seem like Gods is bc of their attitude/dialogue/mannerism and the scenery around them respectively. not combined. respectively.

i would LOVE to see the mental gymnastics percy had to do to guess that kronos is behind this shit. in the books there are five times kronos is mentioned. 1: as the first mythological being ever mentioned. 2: talking about the big three's dad before percy gets his prophecy. 3: when percy questions what it was like before the gods' time just before going on the quest. 4: when percy is speaking to zeus and poseidon alone on olympus. 5: when percy realizes who luke serves. they do NOT explicitly state that its kronos in the underworld. percy doesnt even finish his THOUGHT of who gave him the bag with the bolt before he tries to make amends with a pissed off hades. hes not able to explain to hades that it was ares EVER.

typical "oh percys so much smarter in the show than in the books" except its the kids are so much smarter about the myths than they should be. and like i Understand okay? i get it. sally made sure to grow percy up on the myths so hes prepared. annabeth has been at camp for five years, learning all she can as a child of athena. grover is in his mid twenties and a satyr. a protector. of course they should know shit. but figure it all out before even meeting the monsters? they knew it was medusa as soon as they saw the 'aunty m' sign. they knew it was procrustes before even ENTERING the building. why? why not have the kids be blindsided by shit? especially with medusa, who is meant to have either an enchantment-type thing like cc's island or who can bend the mist to have an enchantment-like thing that fooled annabeth. and crusty worked so fast they didnt have time to compare notes before grover and annabeth were trapped on their beds. why do they immediately know whats going on? wheres the suspense? wheres the showing not telling?

i always thought sally wouldve been yknow Normal just frozen in time and with gold dust around her similar to the sulphur of monsters disintegrating. not that she Was Gold. its like they really wanted to show off their fake gold statues idea

remember how hades looked in the show. now heres a screenshot of percy describing him. they are not the same (yes im salty about it)

How Fucking Dare they skip Persephone's garden. Why. absolutely Why. yes i do worship her too and im so damn salty theres not even a MENTION of her in ep 7

did i mention that the area around the pit to tartarus is meant to be gravel and not sand? bc its meant to be gravel. and they sure as hell couldntve leasurely stuck around it to chat bc its meant to INHALE. ITS MEANT TO TRY AND SUCK THE KIDS IN.

btw the 4 pearls? im fine with that. grover shouldve lost his on the tumble towards tartarus and we shouldve seen it fuckin fly away and watch the kids watch it plummet to the bottom. hell having a little after credits scene at the end of ep 8 where a random monster gets sent to the beach bc the pearl landed on them and shattered wouldve been HILARIOUS.

the missed deadline however? no. bullshit. 'its so the lotus can be even more dangerous' my ass. percys determined to see this quest through to the end, determined to stop the war before it fully starts, and yet theres no urgency. id even say theres LESS urgency than the books where they had a DAY to get the bolt & get to zeus (with added helm to hades & ares fight). sure it didnt make much sense for ALL THAT to be within a DAY but yknow what? time is fucky and they couldve had the underworld take like three overworld minutes yknow?

speaking of the war theyve know it could happen since the WINTER SOLSTICE. its now passed the SUMMER SOLSTICE. 'your father must rally his men' WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN DOING FOR HALF A YEAR??? SITTIN ON THEY ASSES TWIDDLIN THEIR THUMBHS???

lets go back to hades's aura btw bc ares didnt even have his. not a single fucking deity has had their aura. there was nothing with dionysus about madness and grapes (no scared reaction from percy), no war and fighting with ares (no weird anger from percy), and no hades feeling like he owns your very soul. why? whys there no aura? that might be the biggest reason none of these guys feel like gods to me

where's perseus "sass & improv" jackson. theres no "lord and uncle, i come with two requests". theres no "who said anything about dreams?". theres no fucking "big bathtub" no "circus caravan" not even fucking "you look taller"

why didnt the other flying shoe kick them on the head. cmon guys

the souls in asphodel arent ALWAYS bound with regret and their choices (or lackthereof) in life. sometimes thats where the ordinary go. thats where the regular ass people go, or the people that dont want to even have a chance of going to the fields of punishment. you got this right in the books, why did you revert to this in the show?

also no hint of hazel? i dont care if we never get to hoo. we might not get to titans curse, making the nico & bianca hint useless. im not sayin they shouldve casted someone as hazel for that scene, im not sayin she shouldve been the only root-bound spirit talking (dislike that idea, btw, what happened to wandering spirits thatre not spooky. theyre just sad.). one of the root-bound spirits just having fucking crystals sprouted up next to them wouldve been good enough.

also yeah wheres elysium and the fields of punishment

WHEN DID GROVER GET HIS MEMORY BACK

WHY DID HE EVEN LOSE ANY TO BEGIN WITH

charon would never turn down that much money

book sally and show sally are two different people

also not once has there been a mention of a monster smell?? of the underground smelling like monsters, of grover's distaste for being under ground, for anything like that???

speaking of grover. why isnt he eating shit. wheres his tin cans. his diet coke cans. his pinochle cards. his hacky-sack apple that he accidentally eats that gets the kids to be kids. whyd annabeth have to throw shade at him in the lotus scene about eating shit when hes not eaten a single non-edible thing in this entire show.

oh have i mentioned that they just got rid of every single fucking bit of foreshadowing the books ever have btw? bc holy shit lemme rant and this is somethin im GENUINELY pissed about

annabeth doesnt realize it could be kronos on the cab ride bc theres no cab ride. theres no 'its hades. it has to be'.

kronos is not the first mythological being mentioned

all these dreams??? not a single one was even important nor was luke even in one as a voice like i remember most of the first books dreams i dont remember any of the show.

no thalia hint in a dream which. okay i guess. dont want to cast her too early. but cmon man casting a thalia and changing her actor when she gets out of the tree wouldve been like an easter egg to messing up her eyecolor in the books. it wouldve been funny for the readers. cmon guys

the only hint we have of luke disliking his dad is when percys just about to leave for his quest and not? throughout the weeks percy spends at camp? Why

LUKE DOESNT EVEN THROW ANNABETH AND GROVER UNDER THE BUS IN THE SHOW. WHY. no 'youd have to be invisible' no 'maybe this time no one will turn into a tree'???

also dislike how we get all of the thalia lore basically Immediately wheres that slow release story that we gotta piece together alongside percy

oh gods another thing i fucking HATE: THERES NO SWORD TRAINING SCENE. theres also no showing that percy is rejuvinated via water/rain/is good with boats/horses that is like small foreshadowing that hes a son of poseidon but THERES NO SWORD TRAINING. THERES NO 'lukes the greatest sword fighter in decades!' compared to the final book where percys the best sword fighter now, theres no 'really difficult sword technique done first try' theres NONE OF THAT. WHYYY

the whole annabeth and percy were each other's tethers in the lotus casino is an early percy using annabeth as his tether in the styx and them sticking together in tartarus yes but also. why they gotta figure out the lotus immediately. wheres the fucking charm and enchantment though? wheres the ''its 1977' 'its WHAT'' wheres annabeth playing her architect sims wheres grover killing polluting humans wheres the fun. wheres the dawning horror that somethings not right. wheres the terrifying realization that percy nearly forgot his mother's name, that they have a quest, that they dont remember how long its been

hot take: lin manuel maranda is a fine hermes. i didnt even know who he was until i asked my dad btw. hes a jumpscare for yall hamilton nerds. im built dif (dislikes musicals)

take this copy-paste from my discord notes bc tumblr is lagging as im writing this:

they made grover smarter here than the books and i do like that tbh. him manipulating ares into giving some answers. him realizing that theyre not eating lotuses and augustus is still forgetting even new shit. and then grover forgetting what he was doing before augustus & pan in the same breath. i feel like theyre just using grover in place of longer and more drawn out back-n-forth convos & scenes though and that i dont like

TALKING ABOUT MAY NOW WAS GOOD. LEARNIGN THAT SHE WENT MAD FROM LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE? NOT GOOD. LEAVE US MORE OF A MYSTERY GUYS THAT COULDVE BEEN MENTIONED IN SEASON 3 BY THALIA OR SOMETHIN

also can they stop splitting up the kids. look i think the fields of asphodel was like that bc scheduling conflict with leah? right? why split aryan up from them TWICE tho with waterland and lotus tho. we dont need percabeth shit rn guys theyre TWELVE and prob didnt have crushes crushes until the next year at the earliest (spoken from someone that didnt ship percabeth until the kiss at mt st helens)

oh yeah have i mentioned that them blaming clarisse is Awful. its Terrible. they owe that girl the biggest fucking apology. yes i know percy threw clarisse out in his talk with ares on the beach but im pretty sure its never stated ever again and not before that

also? clarisse being a bully bc she cant fathom that percy fucked up the minotaur? why? why isnt she just a bully for the sake of it?

i dont think theyve even named her spear though. no ones called it lamer. no ones said it was a gift from ares

also im pissed at them saying ares doesnt care for his kids/hates them. no he doesnt. (insert that one myth people were throwing around about him killing his daughters assaulter) as well as clarisse being is favorite daughter in a while. she got the chance to get that fuckin chariot thing from her godly brothers or whatever i read that mini story once an wasnt paying too much attention. is ares a good dad? no. no mythical being is a good parent period. does he hate his kids? no

logic issue: how the fuck do the roller coasters in the lotus work. when they first pan up to look at the outside theres people on roller coasters and theyre on the OUTSIDE of the building. does the time bubble extend to them? then why are they normal-paced when the lotus moves far slower than the outside world? or are the roller coasters outside the bubble, but because of the time fuckery, it kinda just looks like they blip out of existence for less than a blink and are straight back inside the casino? and the lotus in the air makes them not question the rapidly changing outside world's appearance?

"we take a zebra to vegas" no zebra

writers stop writing monotheistic views into polytheistic worlds challenge. WHY dont monsters attack on sunday??? huh??? bc i dont know that historical connection to ancient, before 1AD, greece. please. enlighten me as to why ancient greek monsters from the ancient greek polytheistic religion wouldnt attack demigods on something known as 'the lord's day' anytime after 1AD. enlighten me. and then explain to me why MONSTERS care

i will say im glad they kept annabeth's mess up with the IM. "show me camp half-blood. chiron's office." compared to "half-blood hill." she was a bit more specific sure and it could bring the question of why luke was in chiron's office in the show.

first: how percy tossed the coin was shit and shouldntve gone that far. second: was that a reference to jason grace.

is getting an IM signal a new thing? as in "not percy jackson and the olympians" thing, and a "heroes of olympus and higher" thing? bc ive never heard of that, and it makes sense for a prism. which also makes sense for them to have since IMs are very important. just sucks that the water mist isnt gonna foreshadow sea of monsters when percy creates a mist so lukes confession has more witnesses (& the like dozen other times that percy makes mist for an IM, showing his power & control on such a minute scale, showing that hes way out of almost anyones league in power scale)

idk why they didnt have ares hoard knowledge on sally over percy's head to try and get him to do the quest. whyd they have him use poseidon ("your dad had plenty of kids he stopped caring about once he lost interest") to rile percy up? oh thats right bc theres no fucking aura

i dont see the point in changing hephaestus's trap. maybe it wouldve costed too much to do the spiders and water and net or somethin (what else is the 12-15 mil per ep being spent on? hope its not that fancy screen thing that honestly was kinda obvious in some scenes and not good oops). anyway i didnt like the change to the throne, didnt like the self sacrifice (theyre really hammering that in), and i didnt really like them changing it to immediately showing it was hera that threw hephaestus off olympus? i feel like having one more thing against zeus for a while wouldve been good, or at least waiting until annabeth and hephaestus somehow got on that topic so hephaestus can correct annabeth

speaking of correcting annabeth: the medusa scene? where annabeth is all 'youre wrong bc my mother is just'? they shouldve had conflicting myths. i can understand doing the most modern retelling of medusa's myth (bonus points for it being roman in origin) bc the gods and monsters are heavily susceptible to belief. if enough people believe that retelling of the myth, then of course its gonna become the "true" one. they shouldve had annabeth argue that thats the roman myth and this is greek, or that medusa's story was modern and she knows the most ancient version we know of (ie: medusa & her sisters were always monsters). them talking about the same myth? doesnt really make sense, unless that was the only surviving medusa myth that just so happened to be the "truth". doesnt help the 'constantly shifting capital of power' thing

speaking of that: was that even mentioned? in the show? that the gods shift to the place with the most power? i dont think it was. why.

back to hephaestus and the shield tho: wheres aphrodite's scarf.

percy EXPLAINING myths to ANNABETH??? the seat myth with hera n whatnot??? WHAT. book 1 annabeth would NEVER

"it's like people only see what they wanna see and ignore anything at all that doesn't fit the story they like to tell themselves" / "exactly! like you being the one to find the lightning thief and not her." i didnt understand that leap in thought btw. very confused.

percy saying 'from an orthodontist's office maybe'. ow. gods. im not that much older than him and i recognize that from my dad playing it. an ortho office. oof (couldnt tell you the title or artist tho dont care that much bout it)

oh yeah this is the ONLY time we get a 'satyrs dont eat meat' thing. "satyrs eat tofu" ares says. like i know percy & grover swapped something on their sandwiches in the first episode but do you really think id be able to recognize what they swapped?

oh yeah speaking of the first ep: bit disappointed they didnt do the digenerative leg disease thingie as a cover for grovers legs. i mean. makes sense. dont want to downplay that disability. also consider though: grovers legs arent human legs & he needs a cover for why he cant do some things & shouldnt do others, and a leg issue wouldve been the best choice

also the no mist on his legs throughout the entire quest? dont like that tbh. i dont care that this isnt in JUST percy's pov anymore. the mist should affect shit outside camp

speaking of the mist. where the fuck is it. was it even mentioned once. its not a thing in the show for some fuckinggg reasonnnnnnnn

annabeth trying to rile ares up btw? what the fuck? plus grover not being scared shitless & doing the beach talk on his own in the diner? dislike. this is what happens WITHOUT THE AURA

oh yeah the diner is just called 'diner' in the show btw and that was hilarious bc theres so many places just called 'place'. ive seen small walk in clinics just called 'clinic'. diners called 'diner'. bars called 'bar'. place for hearing aids LITERALLY CALLED 'HEARING AIDS'. its funny

take this discord screen shot about some of the ares diner thing bc copy pasting as straight text would make this longer and rewriting it is not in the cards (yes i numbered all my complaints and made live notes to myself)

not aging the show. name drops twitter. like im sorry guys if you show a car or a phone then youre aging the show but did you have to name drop TWITTER of all things???

have i mentioned theyre meant to IM luke before ares btw. have i also mentioned that the kids get to the diner first and ares appears then. small timeline changes i no likey (only half joking)

imma be real i dont like that they changed it so annabeth witnesses the fates cut the string. dont like it that grover doesnt pay attention until its passed. dont like that percy is NONCHALANT about it when hes told. be chalant man. book percy knew it was a big deal even when he didnt know shit.

(insert the continuity error of waterland near denver colorado and the arch in like illinois or somethin and theyre now WALKING in the show when its a two day TRAIN ride in the books that everyone already talked about)

ah right THEY DONT SHOW THE FIRST NEREID TALK. WHY. also WHY IS PERCY WET. WHY DID HE STILL NOT KNOW HE CAN BREATHE. WHY DIDNT THEY SHOW THAT WHATEVER PERCY TOUCHES CAN STAY DRY WITH THE LIGHTER. THAT WAS SO COOL

i do like the change that percy doesnt pray to poseidon when he gets off the arch. i was going to say jumps off but then i remembered that he fell off in the show which was definitely a change that im not neutral on but im not 100% on if it was positive or negative

what happened to the clear sighted mortal btw

i dislike how echidna and the chimera were handled. again. what happened to being blind sided. what happened to shock and sudden appearances. i dont care if the chimera was learning to hunt. the realization that echidna was a monster with her forked tongue was great.

i was going to write "wheres the suicidal thoughts" (ie percy thinking the monster wont attack mortals if he dies/jumps out of the arch) then remembered that this isnt 1st person and theres no voice over (which wouldve made this show 1000% better)

okay. so. they dont show percy nailing the difficult sword technique, but they DO show him getting hits on the chimera. when in the books he doesnt get a single hit on the chimera. to quote my disc notes: percy gets precisely ZERO hits on the chimera. first slash at neck, deflected by a collar that name-drops Tartarus. second slash at the mouth just after the tail stabbed his leg, tail wrapped around leg and pulled him around dropping riptide down the hole. again, poison Immediate

right the poison not being immediate. im. why

WHY DIDNT PERCY GO THROUGH THE CHIMERA'S FIRE BLAST. IT WOULDVE SHOWN HIS RESISTANCE TO FIRE AS A SON OF POSEIDON THATS PLAYED WITH BIT MORE IN SEA & LABRYNTH

the rivers meant to be way more polluted btw

i do like the accurate change to the arch tho. showing that the water reached up and grabbed him was kinda the "duh" answer but if you read this scene plainly without much thought then yeah in the books the arch goes over the river so. it wasnt even that much of a discussion point bc pjo universe architecture was different i guess

anaklusmos is meant to fall out the arch during the fight, not further in, and percy's meant to have a good length of time standing on the arch without the sword returning to his pocket

have i mentioned that so far all these monster fights are disappointing and lackluster

oh btw the taxi scene after lotus? fucking hate how thats MORE dramatic than the actual MONSTER FIGHTS

the arch being a temple to athena or whatever? nice change, dont really like how it replaced more architecture talk tho. shouldve been an add-on in the middle of annabeths geeking out bout the math n structure that percy tries to focus on but annabeth shrugs it off and goes on about the perfect balance of the lean-to stuff (i dont know architecture)

her "so poseidon can't ruin it" about the earthquake protection plate things though? rude and not what show annabeth shouldve said since theres been no/little "poseidon vs athena" rivalry talk (besides annabeth praying to her mom and getting shunned & percy not praying and getting saved. that was a good parallel).

adding indigenous folk to grover's talk of genocide & erasure was good, just wish there was more on it & throughout more of the quest

them throwing in the "not all monsters are monsters" and "not all demigods are heroes" talk seemed kinda half-assed and like they didnt really know where to go with it. i like it bc itll be expanded on with like circe a bit & zoë & ethan nakamura / luke / the demigods on the titan's army & especially with tyson all throughout sea. but like. if i hadnt read the books then id think they added those points just bc they were expected to, especially since its not even brought up again in later episodes

wasted opportunity for not saying "Isn’t that a kind of anteater?" what happened to my sassy boy you didnt have to change the sass guys that line is still funny pleaseee

rip gladiola & rip the signs of life whenver pan is mentioned

okay so i could understand the centaurs in the first book not partying bc maybe rick didnt think of that until the next one but? the show centaurs not partying? sure maybe its not the party ponies maybe its another sector/group but like. cmon. i wouldve laughed if they had those glow stick necklaces & a disco ball & shit

what latched onto the outside of the train car btw. what monster was that. i couldnt tell

1st what does froofy mean 2nd that was good dialogue on grovers part

annabeth & percys talk about thalia/luke/her dad... genuinely i dont have much thoughts on it (good or bad) besides that i reread lukes diary after watching that episode & luke & thalia were fine with annabeth joining them. thalia was proud that luke acted how he did with her. didnt really like that she said she had to "earn it" with thalia

ah yes. the dream just before the thalia talk. what the hell did kronos mean "she is coming" was he, for some stupid fucking reason, warning them about echidna??? the nereid??? OR DID HE MEAN GAEA. DID HE FUCKING MEAN HIS MOTHER. WHAT IN THE HELL

how they showed that olympus is connected to the empire state building at the end of ep 3? dislike that. doubly dislike how hermes already knew what was in the box before anyone opened it

"hermes express" hermes, walking to the elevator in the empire state building when we know for a fact they can just beam anywhere:

them not showing DOA at all & not showing the address to the underworld in medusa's area? didnt like that at all, felt less like a scavanger hunt & more like a fetch quest (ik getting the bolt is a fetch quest, but this is like double fetch quest instead of one part fetch one part egg hunt)

ANYONE LEARNING ABOUT THE BETRAYAL PART OF THE PROPHECY BTW??? DIDNT LIKE THAT. PREFERED WHEN PERCY WAS TRYING TO GO AROUND THE PROPHECY/NOT THINK ABOUT IT. also the betrayal hasnt been mentioned since except when they decided to blame clarisse, but that was as the lightning thief & not friend betrayal

okay so the bus scene & them turning a fury (alecto?) to stone. didnt like the changes. i feel like they changed it so percy's mortal kill count doesnt start so young (half joking) but it kinda gets rid of the whole "the gods dont take into account how their emotions/reactions affect mortals". plus the hurricane isnt sudden in montauk, it builds since percy uses the fountain

them shortening the yancy time btw? will agree it makes sense, dont agree that its better/even a neutral change. it gets rid of the gaslighting, the mist, the first instance of the winter solstice, this:

have i mentioned they got rid of all the fucking foreshadowing GODS IT PISSES ME OFF

okay back to medusa. her not being able to get you if shes invisible? isnt how i imagined her eyes working in pjo & the myths. also i understand not wanting to show beheading in a "kids show" but also why invisible you can just have it happen just off screen until they get it in a bag (which yeah wouldve been fundementally the same as invisible but cmon)

dislike the medusa plan change. 'i'll get in the air & draw her attention' thats literally the opposite of what they wanted in the books

WHY WAS THERE FIRE ON THE STAIRS WHY DID THE BASEMENT LOOK LIKE THAT WHY WAS IT A BASEMENT & NOT LIKE A BIG GARAGE-TYPE THING (my dad explained that the fire could have been a reference to the 1981 clash of titans with the flickering suspense kind of scary but may i point out: that would be a reference to a 1981 thing in a modern kids show)

good to know her veil material is enough to block her gaze btw though. like that was a thin material and it was ENOUGH??? you didnt even have to make her invisible you probably couldve just worn your shirt on your head & saw through the tiny holes

mother/son possible relationship between medusa and percy WAY BETTER than the grooming that happens & i could definitely see as a possibility. a wild possibility but its possible

the cgi for the nereid was terrible btw. the sound for the sizzling in the percy & medusa convo was so fake. the straw empty noise grover does drinking his lemonade should not be possible with how much was actually left in his cup. that pastry grover ate should not have crunched.

copy paste of a disc note: "and you are a liar" telling the person who is centuries older than you. from a time where the gods were actively worshipped. that they are a liar about what happened to them???? what in the FUCK

another copy paste note: "my mother is just. always" is your mother the goddess of what is just??? the goddess of justice??????? no. what the fuck

the slow release of medusa's "true" myth annoyed me bc every time new info came up i was like "oh so its this myth" and then more came up and i was like "okay its this iteration" and then more info came and i just about yelled in frustration

"i dont like bullies" giving percy's lines to medusa

another copy paste note: "WE'RE NOT OUR PARENTS AFTER ALL" IS WHAT PERCY SAYS ON THE CAR RIDE WITH ARGUS TO NY PROPER. WHICH MAKES ANNABETH STOP BEING AS ANTAGONISTIC

another copy paste: theres a reason aunty em in the books used fast food containers for her food and NOT REFLECTIVE SHIT. WHAT IS THIS SILVER COVER. YOU SPEAK OF THE MEDUSA MYTH AND THEN MAKE HER HAVE REFLECTIVE SHIT THATS NOT A CAMERA LENS

another another: "you are concerned that i would hold a grudge against you simply because you are a daughter of athena?" that. is what happens in the books yes. you hold a grudge against annabeth and you try and manipulate/groom percy bc you loved poseidon

grover was the only one not enticed by aunty em's magic/mist/food, which was odd, bc hes eaten most everything before and hinted that something was off. bc yknow in the books they DIDNT KNOW IT WAS MEDUSA TIL THEY ALMOST DIED

why was there a bell on her home door. why is her home next to her store

sally empathizing with medusa? fine. her not telling percy all of the different myth versions? not fine.

"i think we can trust her" is literally medusa

have i mentioned the poor travelling orphan circus bc i miss that

GROVER SHOULDNT CARE ABOUT HAMBURGER SMELL??? HES VEGETARIAN???

oh right zeus just not striking down the two vehicles. makes sense, he doesnt have his bolt for a precision strike, but come on

was this where we got "names have power"? i dont remember if its here or not at all. especially since they continue to say names. and yes this was in the book i know its both funny and smack-my-head-against-the-wall worthy throughout the series

copy paste: "youre not the frightened little girl i came for all those years ago" yeah you didnt go for annabeth. you went for thalia. you got what you wanted (maybe not entirely but whatever). the fuck are you ON about alecto

annabeth not knowing how to function in a gas station was good and funny and sad

carrying the shoes in the box btw? terrible. shouldve immediately given them to grover before leaving camp. or. better yet. luke shouldve had witnesses for giving the shoes to percy so it wouldve been immediate

FORGOT ARGUS WASNT IN THIS. DISAPPOINTED

copy paste: "do exactly as i say" im not sure i like how theyre trying to portray the bossiness of annabeth. its different but its still the same level of bossiness. "are we clear?" honey you havent been outside camp since you were SEVEN. youre TWELVE. get OVER YOURSELF

"she met a pinecone's fate" was fucking hilarious and i will not hear otherwise

annabeth saying goodbye to thalia is fantastic

"i thought about choosing you before i chose grover" I HATE THE CHANGES THEY DID TO GETTING THE QUEST. percy chooses grover IMMEDIATELY and is all "oh jee willikers i wonder who would be stupid enough to volunteer for this surely deadly quest" and annabeth rips her hat off and half forces herself on the quest (she was pushy but percy did agree so. half.). there wasnt the 'telling the entire head of cabins' there wasnt 'debating on luke' THERE WASNT ANY OF THAT SHIT

poor canada. that shade is meant to be next season with the cannibals and oh wait theres probably not gonna be cannibals bc "kids show". right. chuck e cheese was a good fuckin joke tho

chiron isnt that straight forward that he suspects hades and that the entrance to the underworld is in la. small thing but D: hes a teacher he should still have the 'lead the kids to the answer' instinct

now for eps 1 & 2 i didnt make live notes, i did it hours after watching them, so ill definitely miss shit

no myth to make zeus thinking poseidon would genuinely want to unseat him actually make sense

no storm getting past the barrier, no campers reaction to that, no calling zeus crazy

NO DOLPHIN THREAT D:

i hated that there was nothing between his claiming and the quest. wheres the alienating. wheres the dislike. wheres the new expectations & disgust & fear. WHERES THAT DAMN NEWSPAPER

also hated how there was NO HELLHOUND

no nemesis foreshadowing (ik rick got her wrong at first, saying she was a god n not a goddess, and it might not have been intentional but ethan nakamura sure was important)

no talking about zeus, hera, artemis, & hades cabins??? for some reason???

no balanced sword talk

NO BLUE CHERRY COKE WHAT THE FUCK

no monsters stoked in the woods, no harpies, no naiads, no "Not a single living thing."

no talk about how monsters revive, no talk of the move west, no mention of chiron age & still being needed as a teacher of heroes. also NO STELE. WHYYYYY

there was no pull to poseidon's cabin

THERE WAS NO HESTIA. IM SO PISSED

why did grover have to TELL percy that his mom might still be alive. percy IMMEDIATELY thinks that when he gets the idea that maybe this greek shit is real. or, at least, he thinks he can get her back

the hermes cabin was not NEARLY crowded enough. its meant to be FILLED. its meant to be BARELY ANY WALKING SPACE. not. like. maybe three kids on the floor. plus no laughter at percy asking when hes gonna get claimed

no mention of the romans???

percy didnt really??? go through a denial phase in the show??? for some reason???

personal opinion: i couldnt even get through the dionysus talk btw. too awkward. i skimmed the subtitles & didnt have my headphones on

the only mention of capital G god & the metaphysical & the Gods was when percy thought he was the second coming of christ. that was funny ill give you that. however. wheres the overwhelming lore dump

was there? a science talk? i dont think there was. whyy

for some reason they didnt get into mr d's restriction all that much

BARELY ANY GROVER FEARING MR D. NO MR D & SATYR CONNECTION

no ambrosia no nectar no grover bleating

theres been no cursing in greek or latin so far btw. why. i feel like you could ask plenty of people for a good translation, if the ogs sucked. and im sure the kids could get a good enough score from people who speak greek/ancient greek and latin

there was no memory of poseidon seeing percy as a baby???

no nature magic thing with percy replicating the thing grover did on the bus at gabe and having the door slam him. maybe bc rick didnt think that made much sense since its never shown again but that was Funny

gabe seems less like an abusive drunkard and more like a dirty loser (yes ik he restricts/feels entitled to all comunication & financial whatnot & that is abuse but so far (AS OF EPISODE SEVEN (7)) he doesnt deserve to get turned to stone for that)

ive basically already mentioned everything else previous except: percy vaporizing alecto bc anaklusmos just so happened to be opening in a way where alecto was in the way? and that made her die? wheres the instinct??? i dont care if percy's visibly shit at swinging that sword, there shouldve been the instinct to get up and swing

lastly: anaklusmos shouldve been given back after alecto & returned before quest. using her during the minotaur was useless and, again, didnt show the power boost percy gets from all water (rain)

now on the names topic: im not saying br-oo-ner. its spelt brun-er, i say brun-er. they also say th-augh-lee-ah. i will still say th-AH-lee-ah

i will just reiterate this is for fun. this is fun for me and if youve read all of this then it should be fun for you, too, to complain/discuss this. if its not and youre genuinely pissed off with my observations: i do not care. barely anything you say will change my opinions/observations, and if youre aggressive im immediately throwing your opinion away. this is fun for me. this is how i have fun. this is a saltwater fountain to those that also have fun discussin/breaking shit apart. if you dont find it fun, then go enjoy your olive branch away from here

to anyone that also has fun with this: tear my observations apart. tell me everything that i got wrong bc i only read some books years ago. dont worry about spoiling me. i dont care about spoilers. i prefer all the info upfront instead of gatekept behind "but itll ruin your experience when you read it for the first time!!!!" i spoiled myself about who nico's dad was when i was on sea of monsters okay im fine. i know jason's circumstances in trials of apollo. i might not know everything that happened in house of hades (or anything about trials and later) but that shouldnt stop you.

ill state again: i like the show. the show's alright. im not sure id call it good because ive read the books & i do prefer book lightning thief to the show. but i like it and am hoping it gets more seasons. i hope we at least finish last olympian, but i would like to see hoo get adapted.

some of these are complaining for the sake of it (down to a grain of sand), some of these are actual criticisms about the adaptation (the removal of the foreshadowing that was in the books & abscense of groundworks for later books & hoo (yes i saw the kids with purple shirts in the lotus scene thats not enough)), some mightve been criticisms of it as a show (plenty of people have mentioned that the pacing is bad, i didnt want to focus on it). it's all in good fun

i do have a thought though: This could've easily been a rewritten book. In fact, it would've been far better as a rewritten, first-person limited book. I think it would've taken less time (able to just write your vision and not have barely any stage directions as your only descriptors & run it by writers, directors, actors, etc.), less money (12-15 MILLION usd per EPISODE??? compared to a writing program & looking for someone to publish it???), and would've taken less time (writing, waiting for approval, casting, booking, filming, post production, waiting, uploading, waiting for renewal, repeat. compared to writing at your own speed & publishing whenever (possibly even waiting until enough books are done?)). My reading fanfic more than traditional books/watching shows/movies definitely affects my opinion, I will readily admit that. But I think my own imagination of the happenings in the book would've been fine. Would there be new fans? Probably not as many. Would old fans come back? Again, probably not as many. Would it have been better? I think so.

TLDR: there were more neutral changes than good ones, a lot weren't good (comparatively), some were funny, some got rid of the funny, this is fun for me and if it wasn't for you then L. die madge. i want to hear other's opinions though. and i think this show should've been a rewritten first-person book and not a tv show.

#pjo spoilers #pjo #percy jackson #pjo show #pjo tv show #percy jackson and the olympians #long post #cant wait to either get people disagreeing bc they think im a book purist or no one looking at this #vwoopis posts

26 notes · View notes

simslegacy5083 · 4 months ago

Text

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9

Today's (7/24/2024) Episode: A Double Triple Threat

Unfortunately for Peachy, who had been looking forward to celebrating his sudden acclaim, the morning following his impromptu stand-up special began with both he and Noemi feeling quite ill.

It was unclear whether Noemi brought it home from the hospital, Peachy brought it home from the studio, or some unwitting visitor brought it to them both, but the two sims found themselves down and out, suffering from some nasty virus.

Their partners were quite worried given Peachy's age and Noemi's fragile post-recovery state, but neither sim was willing to check in with an MD.

Noemi had just gotten home, and she was fearful of being admitted again. She'd already missed enough time with Skye, and she swore she didn't even feel that bad. She was sure some juice and rest would fix her right up.

As for Peachy, he was way too busy to bother with the doctor. He had new material to write, meetings for his new show to take… he certainly didn’t have time to “spend hours at the clinic being told what I already know".

“Besides,” he jokingly told his wife, "I'm five minutes away from kicking the bucket, what's the difference if it happens 2 minutes earlier?!"

The pair hoped that their illness would quickly fade, but reality decided to go in a different direction. That afternoon Luigi discovered Noemi in bed , too sick to get up, while Valentina found Peachy in the office, clutching his stomach and moaning in pain.

The remaining healthy members of the household agreed that this "wait and see" plan had officially worn out it’s welcome.

Calling Grandpa Candor over to watch Skye, they dragged their shaky legged loves directly to the clinic, accepting no more excuses or delays.

Even in his current state the long-time comedian found humor in his situation as he once again ended up sharing a hospital room with a family member.

“At least this time my made for TV face isn’t getting even more character, I don’t think the makeup team would thank me!” he chortled merrily.

It was as slow as Peachy had feared to get answers at the clinic. Feeling better on his IV drip, he was even begging Valentina to fetch his laptop when the doctor finally came in to tell them that they had both been diagnosed with Triple Threat, a serious malady that had a history with their family.

When Noemi heard she would have to go into surgery, again, she immediately started to cry. She didn't want another surgery and she certainly didn’t want to be admitted – she'd missed enough time with her baby already!

The doctor came over to help Luigi assure her that Triple Threat surgery didn’t typically require a prolonged hospital stay, and all would be well.

Noemi might have a slightly longer recovery period seeing as she was still not fully healed from her previous abdominal surgery, but even with that and careful monitoring of her recovery, she’d be on her way home to Skye that evening… tomorrow morning at the latest.

After that it was more hurry up and wait as the two sims were prepped for their procedure. When they were finally taken into the operating theater Luigi and Valentina retired to the waiting area. They’d barely gotten seated before Luigi’s frustration surfaced.

“What does The Watcher think they’re doing anyway!? What did dad, and especially poor Noemi, do to deserve this kind of treatment?”

Valentina and Peachy had never believed in Jack's tales of the omnipresent "other" overseeing their daily existence, but she didn't try to argue with her boy’s faith. “I’m so sorry this keeps happening, but you know I’ll be right here with you as long as I’m needed”.

Fortunately, the staff kept them informed as the surgeries progressed without any complications. Despite nearly a best-case outcome, the Doctor still recommended that they err on the side of caution and keep both high-risk patients overnight for observation, just in case.

Knowing that their partners were desperate to get home, Luigi and Valentina compromised on just a few more hours of observation and then careful monitoring by family, coming back in at the first sign of any worsening or worrying symptoms. Their loved ones would be coming home tonight!

Once Peachy and Noemi were back home and tucked snugly in bed to rest Valentina went to check in on Skye while Luigi texted his gaming buddies and fired up the living room console to relieve his stress with a few rounds of party frenzy.

Seriously, he thought to himself, enough was enough already! As he got logged in and filled his friends in on the latest disaster over voice chat, he silently prayed that no more bad luck was headed his family's way anytime soon.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

#sims 4 #sims 4 challenge #sims 4 legacy #sims4 #sims 4 nsb #sims 4 not so berry #sims4nsbstraud #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 let's play #sims 4 lets play

8 notes · View notes

binalakai-archive · 1 year ago

Note

i also wish people would be more receptive to relationship speculation, at the very least. there were so many moments in fionna and cake where simon and fionna’s interactions had me raising my eyebrows and thinking “wow, what’s up with this chemistry rn?” but i know posting about it to see if others also noticed would get me dogpiled lol. glad i’m not the only one entertaining the ship and its implications to/for the characters it encompasses.

also winter king/simon is intriguing as well, if only in a weird homestuck self-shipping (dave and davesprite anyone?) kind of way where both characters get to have major epiphanies bc they’re basically looking into a mirror (may be more of a funhouse mirror for winter king/simon but still works lol)

i do not ship any of these pairings, please dont take this post from a shipping perspective

i apologize in advanced if this post is said messy. its given an opening to many things ive been thinking about since the start of the show and i know i wanna come back to it in case any new developments were to happen at the final season 1 episodes tldr; Kai Talks About how much i Love Very Messed Up Pairings, not because i want them to actually be together, but because i am NOT the type to ignore Seeds That Have been Planted in canon so i will Grow Horrible Realizations i've been having out of them

YEAH NO BECAUSE I LIKE. I JUST WANNA POINT OUT WHAT'S CANON OKAY!! i think this post is like. the only one ive seen that Has Pointed out The Adventure Time Ice King/Fionna dynamic in the lenses of the Simon we have today....and even then thats just a joke post :")

because like. okay. i need people to think about this for a second: yes, ice king didn't Come With with Fionna and Cake's existence, but why in the world would he Choose to be responsible for writing it? for bringing their stories to life and showing off a world that's been living in his head? i genuinely think people don't really like the ugly side of how badly loneliness has mutated Ice King's way of thinking (i mean for gods sake the guy tries to kiss/get with anyone, mf cant even recognize the person he claims to be falling in love with). that, yeah. of course if he had a World Living inside his brain that felt so Real to him that he CONSTANTLY wished for it to not only but true, but one that would be close to him!! one that would welcome him!!!! no matter what itd be, romantic, platonic, To the point of Worship....like ANYTHING that would bring him closer to genuine Connection in his alienating experience. NOTABLY for fionna The Human!!! the human that parallels a real life actual kid that mostly has kicked Ice King's ass to eventually treating him like a Poor confused Old Lost Guy. still, i need to stress the kind of dynamic finn and the ice king have is NOWHERE near the kind of dynamic fionna and ice king have (and even with simon developments included). . ...except this time around, even when he does have his own parallel Ice Queen existing manifesting the Must Needed Rival for their universe to make sense, mutating her character into something that to make her more Vicious/Violent, making Ice King seem Nicer In Comparison and dare i say that, yeah...! some of that HAS been carried onto modern day Fionna!! who CANONICALLY has romantic feelings towards ice prince and the winter king, parallels to ice king/simon himself! just. sorry but i NEED both Simon and Fionna to like. Read Those Stories. I Need them to revisit the VERY specific stories that Ice King felt the need to tell in the first place, his and other people in their lives' inclusions. it would not only reinforce Simon's Influence in the world Period, something that he found himself doubting on ...but also I NEEEEEEDDD to see that can of worms opened. i NEED for Fionna to see for herself the people SHE'S supposed to be representing. i NEED for her to see what kind of void she's been filling in Ice King/Simon's time of existence. i NEED for her to see how big the Obsession GOT, how badly Ice King needed that outlet of escapism (and how much Simon still returns to it in the present day)

^ this moment has been living in my brain ever since the announcement of the Fionna and Cake series that Fionna's fixation on the ice prince, her life, her..everything in general, is more or less a Weird Reflection of the lives of People living Greater Lives than she ever believed to have lived, combined with how said proclaimed experiences of Magic have only been recorded by a guy who Inserted Himself in a world she doesnt even recall living in Im surprised that. hasnt been so Stressed yet in show. im prepared to eat my words if they DO come back to it. but for the time being i really wish Fionna found out how desperate Simon/Ice King was for someone to acknowledge and Desire His Existence, to a degree that would be absolutely humiliating/weird to uncover but Necessary to come back to in order to truly understand the Scope of what 1000+ years of Madness through Ostracization (from others and eventually the Self) Does to a MF

__________ AS OF FOR MY THOUGHTS ON THE WINTER KING, he alas only truly an episode to explore. but the thoughts still exist nonetheless!!! for the most part i can only truly indulge in it out of pure hilarity for its existence, while acknowledging how much im so thankful that winter king was characterized as he was n didnt overstay his welcome, as i didnt find him necessary to stay in the narrative . there's a lot of feelings i have about simon/ice king's perception of himself alone, and how most of it is Either Negative or Overcompensation Due to his own self negativity. which makes me curious on what could come of a Better Version of Himself, looking at the version of himself that has "failed" to conquer the crown the way he has, but contemplated on pursuing romantically, even for a brief moment honestly, i dont blame people for being invested in this pairing (in comparison to fionna/simon, where i cannot myself entertain it even as a joke unlike this one). it makes me curious on what the Winter King's definition of romance is in comparison to Simon's. what could even be desirable, possibly, in the eye's of the Winter King? Does the love of someone you'll go mad over truly make you a Better Person Or Worse? Simon and Winter King existing in the same room together brings up so many questions and possible ways to explore Simon's character. wayyyyyyyyyy less of a "this can be simon's way of practicing self love" thing and MUCH more of a "These Guys Kissing each other would be the equivalent of the Narcissus Tale but with a Distorted Reflection that only Represents You because the reflection Demands That of you"

#fionna and cake #adventure time #long post #text heavy #simon petrikov #the winter king #fionna campbell #i WILL delete this though genuinely if people start to get weird in my notes #but otherwise i genuinely would be very welcome to more CIVIL. discussion about this

32 notes · View notes

xelasrecords · 1 year ago

Text

All That Is Lost

Han Jumin x MC

Jumin is dying from cancer and there is nothing else you can do but wait. Featuring a minor appearance from Jihyun.

CW: Anticipatory grief

Words: 5.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

When she was young, she used to think grief was reserved for death. And in the period of mourning, joy would not exist. Sorrow would engulf her whole and she would waste away alone in eternal darkness and nothing else would matter. However, time had revealed to her that nothing was ever as simple.

She was grieving for her living husband. Living, but dying. Jumin was behind the hospital door that she teetered in front of. It would lead her to a private patient room surrounded by beige walls and ivory curtains, and she would see Jumin putting on his best smile even as the lung cancer drained his strength. More often now, his best was a single tight smile that took him a lot of effort to manage.

She was always gripped by fear when she came here, wondering how much Jumin's health had deteriorated in the brief absence Jihyun switched with her to stay over. They had tried everything they could to treat him, but there was never any good news.

Time was not on their side.

Clutching her overnight bag, she straightened her posture and pushed the door open—and found that Jumin had been waiting for her. He was propped up on the bed and outstretched his hand when she crossed the threshold, reaching for her as he always did. In the warm hospital glow, she caught the weak smile on his pallid face and picked up her pace to clasp his free hand, one without an IV line attached. His slender fingers were always stiff and cold now, but a tiny relief fluttered in her chest when they finally touched.

She set her bag down beside the couch and kissed his cheek, careful not to knock the nasal cannula strung beneath his nose askew. "Jihyun isn't here? I thought he was with you when I called."

Jumin lifted his brows, but the humour in his sharp grey eyes betrayed his serious expression. "I see you care more about another man when I am right here."

"Only because you're here and he's not," she said lovingly. Though there were deep crevices around his eyes and his sunken cheeks had left a sharp edge to his jaw and cheekbones, he was still handsome to her, his thinning black hair falling just past his ears.

"As it should be," Jumin declared. There was a permanent rasp in his voice that appeared as his illness worsened. "He would have passed out from starvation if I didn't send him away. I never expected him to be so adamant about staying by my side. I was always the one who worried about him, not the other way around."

"He is stubborn," she reminded. She slid her fingers down to the inside of his wrist to feel his pulse. It confirmed what she sometimes feared her sight was fooling her—that he was already gone. "He's so much like you in that regard."

"Perhaps I should have let him stay. Having a roommate would not be so bad. We could even recreate the sleepovers we had as children." There was a certain melancholy in Jumin's eyes, one that often appeared when he talked about his friendship with Jihyun. "I don't know why we ever stopped. We used to stay over at each other's houses all the time."

"You grew up," she said, and squeezed his hand. It felt more brittle than she remembered. "But that change isn't permanent. You've been recreating it these days. Look at how he sleeps here when I can't. Thanks to me, of course," she added. "I graciously spared my precious time with you for him. You're welcome."

Jumin smiled and stared at her with deep, tender attention as if he wished to preserve and immortalise this exact moment before he left. She was familiar with that look. She watched him the same way when he was not looking. She knew all memories faded eventually, but perhaps she could keep some for herself if she tried hard enough. "What a noble sacrifice," he said. "I shall make sure he shows gratitude for your kindness."

She smiled back, trying to keep exhaustion from showing. "It's nothing. I just want to make you happy."

But nothing slipped past Jumin. He grazed her cheek with his knuckles and frowned. "Did you not sleep well?" he asked, unable to keep distraught from his voice. He studied her with the same intensity that never dimmed despite the illness. All these years, those eyes like dark storms that had been nothing but loving to her, were still loving her now. How safe and grounded she always felt looking into them.

"You think I look rubbish," she joked. It twisted her heart that Jumin still put her well-being before his.

"I think you look like someone who did not have a good night's sleep," he stated, and then it dawned on him. "You had been crying."

She nodded. It was not a question and she would not lie. After the first diagnosis, she had anticipated an intense, unstoppable streak of wallowing, but her reality was quite different. In the first few days when she was caught up in the whirlwind of trips to the emergency room and doctor appointments and looking after mundane matters, her emotions had taken a back seat. Only after Jihyun swept in to help that she could find the space to cry.

Even the tears came on intermittently. She was fine on some days, perfectly capable of executing her daily routine with a strength that stunned her. But in the moments she least expected, she would break down and find herself bargaining for more months, weeks, days with Jumin, begging on her knees while knowing there was no one out there who could, that there was no magical cure. She had put Jumin's spell book away and learned to tuck herself into a bed that was too empty for one.

Last night, she noticed that their housekeeper Sunja had placed one of Jumin's ties at a ten-degree angle in the drawer. She straightened it because surely it would irritate him and then it hit her that there was no point, he would never come home and open this drawer again, she would never get another chance to tie his tie before work and soon she would have to refer to this house as hers instead of theirs. He would go. He would go first. She slid down the glass cupboard and crumpled into herself, unable to stop the chest-heaving sobs breaking out of her.

In the morning, Sunja found her asleep on the cold granite floor clutching the blue-striped tie. It was Jumin's favourite tie from her for his first birthday that they celebrated together. It matched his eyes, she had told him. He loved to recount this story to anyone who would listen.

Sunja then guided her to the dining room while she followed in a dazed state. She brewed her a cup of tea and cooked her a light meal, which promptly brought forth another wave of tears. It was not Sunja's job to cook for her, she knew. Altruistic kindness from people who did not want anything from her was rare, yet here it was, served to her when she had not done anything to deserve it.

But she was not in the mood to tell Jumin the long tale of her breakdown, so she sat on the couch beside his bed and wiggled her eyebrows. "My sleeping problem could be solved if someone wants to sleep with me. Right now. I might even cry from ecstasy instead."

Jumin's stare lingered on her. She was aware he could see through her, but he only let out a defeated sigh. "Believe me, I want to," he played along. "I would bed you properly if I could, but my doctor has barred me from doing rigorous activities."

"Well, I can only imagine the horror if your heart stopped mid-act," she said. "Like, what would your tombstone say? 'He came so hard he literally saw heaven'?"

Jumin laughed. She took in his quirked brows, the impish glint in his eyes, and the rasp in his laughter and committed them to memory. "He might not find heaven to his liking and decide to come back down," he said.

"The press would have a field day during your burial. Your reputation would be ruined. Legacy, over."

"It's fortunate—"

But Jumin doubled over with violent coughs that rattled his frail frame before he could finish his sentence. She jumped on her feet and rubbed his back repeatedly, feeling powerless to do anything else. His shoulder blades were sharp through the thin hospital gown, and his arms and calves had barely any muscle left, skin clinging to limbs desperately. She thought she had more time. His change had seemed slow and gradual, but now she saw how much the illness had taken away from him.

Jumin brought his hand away from his mouth, revealing an alarming amount of blood. He tensed and she willed herself to swallow her panic. Quickly, she snatched a handful of tissues from the nightstand and wiped his trembling hand. Though Jumin was silent, she could feel his helplessness rolling off him as he watched her clean his blood-stained mouth. It was not the first time he had coughed up blood, but it had never been this much.

Jumin attempted a weak smile. "It's fortunate I won't be here to see my downfall."

"No, not fortunate." She closed her eyes and steadied her breath. "Because your downfall would be mine."

"My love." His fingers encircled her wrist, but his hold was so fragile. "I am sorry to have brought so much pain upon you. I wish I could ease it somehow."

She tossed the tissues aside and fixed her gaze on him. "And what of yours?" she demanded. "You just coughed blood, Jumin."

"My suffering will not last long, but yours will. It is my most desperate hope that it won't last forever." He shook his head when she started to refute. "You're shouldering this unfair burden of taking care of me while I am simply lying here, useless to be of any help. I feel myself tearing apart from the inside knowing that I am the cause of your tears."

"Let me cry for you. It's the evidence of my love, nothing unfair or burdensome in that."

"Do you remember my vow at our wedding? I promised to be there with you every step of the way, to never leave you when you are struggling." His face twisted in agony that sent a sharp pang into her heart. "But it appears that I have become your problem."

"I'd rather you be my problem than cease to be my anything," she said fiercely. "But as it happens, you're not. I worry because I care. I stay here because sleeping on this couch and waking up with a stiff back is better than losing sleep alone in our bedroom. That's our home, Jumin. You should be there with me to make it feel like one, and if you can't, then I'll go wherever you are. Don't be sorry that I love you. I chose you too, way back then, and I still choose you now."

The look Jumin gave her was haunted and unseeing. She had the sensation that he was peering into the years that stretched out behind them. "I never thought there would be a day where I'm completely reliant on you without the ability to give you anything in return. I never thought it would be so soon."

"You can do nothing and I will still love you." She sat on the bed and tucked a thin strand of hair behind his ear. "Tell me you wouldn't do the same for me."

"I can't." Jumin groaned in despair. "God, I can't. Even as my life is coming to a close, you still show me how wonderful you are." He buried his face into the dip between her neck and collarbone and held her tightly, as tight as his weakening body could muster. She put her arms carefully around him and laid her chin on the side of his head. This was her love, her love that she was losing. He no longer smelled like the expensive cedar cologne he sprayed on every morning before work. This Jumin was covered with a stinging antiseptic scent and it was terrifying. He was changing at a rate that she could not keep up. "How can I ever leave you?" he whispered, his voice caught.

Jumin sounded so broken it almost broke her. "I don't want you to leave either," she murmured. "I wish I could follow you instead of being here alone."

Jumin withdrew and held her at arm's length. "Don't you dare entertain that thought. You have a life here." His face grew stricken when she was silent. "You will not throw it away for me. I will not ever forgive you if you do."

She made a choking sound. "My life has no meaning without you, Jumin." She knew she was speaking out of hysterical delusion, that her real life was more than a single love, but he was the love she lived with, that lived in her. She knew the pattern of his breathing like her own, knew what cunning retorts would come out of him before he could speak them. How would she live without him? What would there be to live for once the person who put sense into her life was gone? "You've changed my life with your presence alone," she said. "I've always looked to you for peace and comfort. My highest happiness is amplified because you're here to share my joy, and my deepest sadness is pacified because you sit with me through it all. I hear your voice every day. I see your face every day. How do you expect me to lose all that? I don't want to learn to be alone, not yet."

Jumin held her face in the palm of his hand. "You won't be alone. Jihyun is still here. He will accompany you—"

"But he's not you!" she shouted. "Every day I'm grateful that he's here and I know how much he means to you, but he is not you. I love him in an entirely different way from how I love you. He's my friend, but you're my husband. You're irreplaceable, you hear me?"

To her surprise, there were tears in Jumin's eyes. "But you will survive. I know you. You have a tenacious soul that persists in the face of adversity, and you will have a good friend to lean on. I can think of no one better suited for emotional support than Jihyun. You will not be alone. That fact itself placates my heart more than anything."

She rested her forehead against his. His skin was so cold. "You always say you'll give me anything I ask from you. I have one now: stay a little longer. Your birthday is only a few months away. Stay until then." Her voice cracked. "Please."

Jumin looked at her with great sadness. "That is the one thing I cannot control."

At that, her emotions broke through. She wept and wept and wept and it was Jumin's turn to reach for the tissue and dabbed it across her face. She had not wanted to cry in front of him for the guilt it would induce in him. It felt cruel to seek comfort from him when he was in the most pain, but it was Jumin she thought of telling whenever she was hurt. It was Jumin she went to for everything good and bad. Years of habit could not be unravelled in an instance, but beyond that was the familiarity and trust that she could find in nobody else. He knew her so well and so intuitively that she knew that when he left, he would carve out something crucial of herself and take her with him.

Jumin laid her head on his chest and pulled her into the bed with him. In the haze of her crying, she was aware that she should not put her entire weight on him, that he already had enough difficulty breathing as he was, and she cried harder. She tightened her arm around his waist, relishing in the realness of him, dreading the day she could no longer feel the warmth of his embrace. But when she felt his tears falling on the top of her head, she knew that whatever illness that would separate them would not truly sever their bond. Together they mourned for the loss of their planned future, for the life Jumin would never have, for the loneliness that would come for her in the days without him.

"Do you know what my worst fear is?" Jumin asked hoarsely.

She lifted her head and wiped the tears from his face. She imagined her eyes were as red as his. "That I'm only pretending to be sad when I actually can't wait to inherit your wealth after you go?"

A small smile played on his lips. "Now don't you instil more fears in me." Jumin poked her nose without any real offence. If he noticed that she had been avoiding the word "die", he didn't let on. "I fear losing my possessions and everything I deem important. I know nothing is absolute in this world, but I harbour an irrational hope that I could protect them with the power I have accumulated." He gazed at her with adoration so deep that her heart could have cracked in half. "You are on top of that list."

She caressed his face, and he leaned into her touch. "You're not losing me now."

"I know, and I'm grateful for it. I can see with clarity that my worst fear will not come true, for you have never left me." Jumin took her hand and splayed it against his heart. She could barely feel it beating beneath her palm, but it was there. It had not stopped beating. That was enough. "You stand by me through my endless treatments. You don't recoil from me after witnessing me in my worst state. I know you love me. You don't have to say it to make it true. But..." He sounded constricted as he tried to get the words out. "I'm sorry you are going to lose me."

"You're still thinking about me. You still worry how I will fare without you." She bit back fresh tears that threatened to fall, hearing Jumin's concern beneath his words. She could not yet bring herself to imagine a life without him, preferring to hold on to the slightest hope that he might get better no matter how impossible, but it hurt her more to see him fearing for her. "I can't promise I'd cope well, but I'm never really going to lose you," she said. "I keep you close in my heart. You are my heart. You will always be alive in me."

A sad chuckle escaped from Jumin. "I laugh the most with you, did you know that?"

She blinked. "I know I'm moderately funny, but I don't see the connection with what I just said."

"You make me happy. You have made me so happy this whole time, love," said Jumin softly. "I can see myself through your eyes. I see how much I am loved. Thank you for loving me."

The memories from the past pierced through her like an arrow. She remembered the first time she came to Jumin's penthouse and he was quiet for a beat too long before saying, Sorry, I just stared into your eyes. Even then he had seen the truth she held for him. She remembered the day she was seasick on Jumin's private yacht so he sat with her in the cabin for the rest of the journey, holding her while she curled in his arms instead of enjoying the breeze. She remembered the park under the rain where they were salvaging their ruined picnic and a kid came over and told her she was very pretty and Jumin had flashed him a proud smile and praised him for being an excellent judge of beauty while suggesting him to find his own match in the same breath. Jumin had been very pleased for the rest of the day. He was the only person she wanted and would ever want. If she could not have him forever, then she would have no one at all.

"You deserve it, my darling. Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done." She pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. They might be chapped, but they were more familiar to her than her own.

Jumin smiled against her mouth. His eyelids were fluttering close, but his fingers were tracing over her brows, her cheekbones, her ears as if he was trying to remember her. He mumbled a quiet I love you and she said it back, silently begging this would not be the last time they proclaimed it to each other. She was beginning to learn how resilient a heart was. How it could break and break yet never really shatter. How hers had been made invincible by the love she had for him and the love he returned tenfold.

Before she looked up, she already knew that Jumin had fallen asleep. His breathing was slowing to a steady but harsh, heavy rhythm. It frightened her. What should be effortless was painful to him, yet he never complained. She untangled herself from his arms, covered him with his blanket, walked towards the door, and paused. She turned around and gave him one last glance, in case it was the last time she could see him. It was a habit she had adopted since Jumin was admitted to the hospital.

Jumin's quiet presence used to have a strong, charismatic quality that pulled everyone's attention to him. Now her husband was a ghost of someone he used to be, a copy made by a printer running out of ink. The essence of what made him Jumin had not disappeared, but his defining marks had blurred. His calming confidence and childlike excitement felt out of reach. She could see them in her periphery, but she could not quite reconcile those traits and shape Jumin into the person he was, back when the fear of losing him was merely conceptual.

She also knew she would see Jihyun sitting outside the room because that was what he did. What they all did. They gave each other time with one another because there was never enough time.

Jihyun turned to her as she slid into the seat next to him and offered her a smile, but she did not miss the dark crescents under his dulled green eyes. Even his teal hair seemed unattended.

"Jumin's taking a nap," she informed.

Jihyun nodded and laced his fingers together on his lap. "He sleeps a lot now."

"That's good, right?" she said. "He should get as much rest as he can."

Jihyun stayed quiet and looked down at his hands.

She averted her gaze. There was not much time left. She was not so deep in denial as not to see it. "I know the signs of someone going away. I know."

She felt they were hurtling down the dark unknown faster than they were ready for. No matter how hard they resisted, they could not win. There were times when Jumin would seem better and a tiny hope flared between her and Jihyun, that perhaps they might not lose him after all. A chance of recovery was all they needed, but it never lasted long. By next week he would be worse than they ever imagined, and they would sit in fear and silence after discussing possible solutions with the doctors and among themselves and hitting another dead end. What else was there to do except to hope that he would not go so soon?

"I admire your strength and faith in his health," Jihyun finally said. "I feel as if we have switched roles. I used to do whatever I could to save the people I care about, but now that we have tried everything and will still lose him..." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I feel lost. I'd like to be more like you if I could."

She put her arms around herself. She was not sure if it was the cold hospital air or more likely, how much she needed to feel less alone in her own acute helplessness. "It's cowardice. I can't bear to accept the reality," she said. "If I stay hopeful, I don't have to move on to the next phase. I don't have to picture a life without him. I feel like vomiting every time I receive an update from the doctors. We've never got any good news since the first diagnosis."

Jihyun nodded slowly with the lethargy that always seemed to hang above him. What enthusiasm he used to have had faded. With a renewed cold dread she realised that in denying herself the acceptance of losing Jumin, she had failed to see that she was losing her friend as well.

"I regret not being more present for him," Jihyun said. "I travelled the world to search for my reasons to live, but it was right here all along. I lost count of the times Jumin had asked me to catch up with him over wine and I foolishly postponed them. I thought there would be a next time. He's the steady fixture in my ever-changing life, so I thought…" He shook his head. "I wasted so much time, and what was it all for?"

"You live for a lot of things," she said, making her voice as gentle as she could. "Your friendship is only one part of it. Jumin is glad that you found yourself through those travels. You know him. He doesn't think physically being there for him is the most important thing. You care about him even when you're not here, and now you've been trying to stay by his side every day. He notices that. There is nothing but gratitude and admiration whenever he speaks of you."

"Jumin is such a good person." Jihyun looked over at her, ocean-green eyes glazed with tears. "I cannot believe someone like him exists, and I'm even more amazed he chose me to be his best friend all those years ago."

"He's always had faith in you a great deal." She smiled. "That's one of the best things about him. He believes in the good of the people he loves."

"He believes in me when I cannot believe in myself. When I forget how to," he said in wonderment. "He has always done it for me and I didn't even know it."

When she thought about Jumin and Jihyun, she saw two men whose lives were so deeply entangled since they were boys that to be separated meant losing half a story that defined them as who they were. There was no part of their history that did not include one another in some way. When Jumin recounted their childhood stories and brought Jihyun up in conversations, he always spoke with a fondness that she had never heard for anyone else except her. Jihyun, she noticed, spoke with the same gentleness.

They were fortunate in a way that most people were not. She had seen one's whole face light up when the other visited, had noticed how Jumin sometimes would have something on his mind and relaxed after he talked to Jihyun. They never had enough time together. She hurt for them, for the time they had lost and could never get back, but was also relieved that Jumin was not as alone as he might think. He had someone who worried about him as much as he would if it was the other way around.

"Jumin made a request to me," Jihyun began.

"Awfully demanding even when sick, isn't he?" she interrupted with a laugh, but it sounded miserable coming out of her mouth.

"It's for you," he said. "He made me promise to be there for you after—after he's gone. I think he's trying to help by creating worst-case scenarios and backup plans. He is afraid you won't handle the loss well." He stared at the wall. "And that I would run off the cliff from madness if I don't do anything of help."

She locked the love in Jumin's plea away in her chest, a precious memory to recall when she missed him, and nudged Jihyun playfully. "'Run off the cliff'? Sometimes I can't tell whether you are repeating his dramatics or if it comes out right out of your head."

A flicker of amusement passed across his face. For one second, the past livelier Jihyun resurfaced. "It might have been both."

"I shouldn't have expected any less." She chuckled and sighed. "It sounds like he was tying up loose ends before he goes. I wish he wouldn't. He's in enough pain as it is. When was the last time he could walk more than a few steps without assistance? He can't visit his vineyard anymore. He can't hold the stitching needle without his fingers trembling. He hasn't met Elizabeth the Third for a while. She misses him." Her voice shook. "I'd bear all his suffering for him if I could."

Jihyun's arms came around her, and she let herself sink into them. "I'm sorry. Your misery must be greater than mine. Your life was upended when his was. It can't have been easy to get used to these extreme changes. You have built a life together, but now you lost everything that's been your normal for years."

"I wish I could go back to the person I was," she admitted, tears spilling over. "I miss loving him without the threat of death looming over us, when I could sleep and not think about how today might be the last time I see him. We were so happy—we are still happy, but this happiness is tainted with anxiety. We feel it even if we pretend not to notice."

"You can be sad for yourself," Jihyun said. "You lost that innocence, that peaceful ignorance of simply living when the thought of either of you dying is far-fetched. It didn't seem like it could catch up to Jumin when he's probably the most health-conscious person on earth. No one could have expected this."

Time did not heal all wounds. Every second of it pricked at her skin, a reminder that she could not save the person she loved the most. No matter how hard she steeled herself against the loss yet to come, nothing could prepare her for it. Last night she had a dream where she and Jumin sat side by side at a secluded beach on a quiet morning and they looked at each other's wrinkled faces and smiled, amazed that time had never worn out their love as their bodies had been. But Jumin's hair would always be black while hers would turn grey now.

"I will miss him so much," she whispered, and pulled back to wipe her tears. She used to wonder how people could cry and make a scene in hospitals without shame. She understood now. Shame did not matter in the face of loss. She would gladly make a fool out of herself if it meant she could save Jumin.

"So will I," said Jihyun quietly.

She thought of her nightly strolls with Jumin along their city that lit up in the dark, his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder, steady bright lights guiding them home. Of the wine they spilt on their white carpet because Elizabeth the Third had jumped on them and Jumin chuckled because she must be jealous of his undivided attention for his wife. Of Jumin's pure, undistilled laughter that carried her through her darkest days. She would have to live with these memories alone.

She did not want the torturous waiting to end, no matter how exhausting it was. The pain was a reminder that she loved him, that he was real and still here. She was not a child anymore. She had grown into a capable adult, a loving and grieving woman, a wife soon to be without a husband.

This was grief, she thought. This. They wouldn't go back to how they used to be and Jumin wouldn't get to live out the rest of his life. This was it. The rest of his life was so short.

She held fast to Jihyun's hand and listened to the clock ticking.

Footnotes:

-I've seen a lot of fics about Jumin receiving the news that MC is rushed to the hospital or diagnosed with a terminal illness or his reaction to MC's death, so I wanted to focus on the aftermath of the panic. What happens when the drama dies down and the hopelessness of knowing someone you love won't be alive for long rises, and the things you do and feel when you're forced to sit in the quiet.

-I didn't plan to include Jihyun since I thought it'd be sadder if MC had no one left after Jumin died, but it didn't feel right for this story. Jumin's character has a best friend who has greatly influenced his life, and I wanted to show how grief is handled outside the dying person and the main loved one. I think it's important to have a support system when you're grieving. It's even better if you can talk to someone who understands how you feel because you're both losing the same person, even if the form of that love isn't exactly the same.

-And yet the loneliness is still there because, at the end of the day, you still go back to an empty home.

-I noticed that all my fics so far have the inherent optimism of everything may be shit but there is love and you've done your best so that's good enough including my breakup fics, so I gave this a twist of what if there is love and everyone has done everything right but it's still not enough?

-Mentioned Sunja Kim the housekeeper guest from the game because realistically if they could afford to hire one, Jumin definitely would. It would lessen MC's burden who's going through a hard time and still has to hold down the fort. It's also my personal experience that when I'm going through something horrible, the glimmers of hope that I get that perhaps life isn't all bad are when strangers randomly show me kindness. This is for them.

-But really I could only write this story because of my best friends' encouragement. One who inspired Jumin and Jihyun's friendship in The Love We Live For and one who inspired MC's friendship with Jihyun here. Mostly, I think of the latter when writing the waiting room scene. If you're reading this (and you will because I will force you and point it out if you skip this), thank you.

-MC saying "I love him in an entirely different way from how I love you." about Jihyun is probably the most unrelatable line that I've ever written btw. I love him in a very un-platonic way.

-I added the canon line by Jumin "Sorry, I just stared into your eyes" in later edits so it was a fun surprise when it connected with the previous line "I can see myself through your eyes. I see how much I am loved. Thank you for loving me." Then I quickly reworked the paragraphs to make them flow.

-Considered including a scene between Jumin and Jihyun but scrapped it due to length and POV constraints.

-The feeling of drowning in grief is what I went for in the header. The ocean-to-sky ratio is slightly off from the traditional rule of thirds to evoke an overwhelming feeling while also making it seem like it's about to engulf the "this was her love" line, the love being the sky.

-For the longest time, I didn't want to understand grief.

Youtube | Goodreads | Letterboxd | Pinterest

#my footnotes are getting longer each time i post #xela writes #jumin x mc #jumin han #jihyun kim #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin han angst #mysme #jihyun kim platonic #mystic messenger v #jumin han fic

49 notes · View notes