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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 6 months

Note

okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.

ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.

reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.

a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.

so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍

HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕

Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao

Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 2

Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.

Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)

A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.

You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.

They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.

You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.

When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.

“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.

“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”

“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”

She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”

“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”

“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”

Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.

“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”

“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”

“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.

Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.

Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.

After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.

“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.

“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”

“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”

“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.

“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”

You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.

“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.

“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”

He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.

“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”

“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.

“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”

“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”

“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”

“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.

“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”

“I’d like that.”

Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.

Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.

“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.

“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”

“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.

“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.

“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.

“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”

“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.

“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.

Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.

“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.

“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.

“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”

“Sure!”

Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.

“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.

“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.

“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”

He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.

He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.

“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.

“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.

“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.

“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.

“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”

He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”

“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.

“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.

He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.

He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.

“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.

He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.

That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.

“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”

“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”

“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.

“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.

“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.

“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”

“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.

Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.

“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”

You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.

“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”

“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.

It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.

“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.

Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.

He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.

“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.

It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.

“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.

You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.

He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.

He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.

“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.

You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.

“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”

He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”

“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”

“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.

“I won’t.”

You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.

“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.

“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”

Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.

“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.

“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.

When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.

‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream smut #ethan landry smut #smut

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froggibus · 2 years

Text

The Three Times You Share A Bed - Leon S Kennedy

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x reader

Genre: fluff, some light angst thrown in towards the end?

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: two times you sleep in leon's bed, and the one time he sleeps in yours

CW: roommate! Leon, kinda friends to lovers?, light angst, abandonment issues, paranoia, fear + insomnia, mentions of zombies, bedsharing, leon has intimacy issues (get therapy challenge)

OMG HAPPY RE4 RELEASE!!! I am SO excited to play once im done work this weekend! Leon looks so damn fine in the gameplay ive seen and i am going FERAL! pls no spoilers for anything new in the game! <3

RE4 remake spoiler free zone!! I have yet to play the remake so there are no spoilers in this!

————

The telltale clicking of a key in the door has you on your feet in seconds, abandoning the plush throw blanket on the couch. Before it even opens, you’re standing on the doormat. You feel a little silly, like a golden retriever waiting for its owner, but the shame is washed away when Leon steps through the door.

It’s been three weeks since you’ve last seen your roommate and best friend, and just as long since you last had company. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of you standing in front of him, the dark circles under his eyes becoming more prominent.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” He sighs and drops his backpack on the floor, locking the door behind him.

“How was it?”

You fight the urge to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and inhale his scent, knowing that’s not what friends do. Still, the feeling is there and if he went in for it, you’d reciprocate in a heartbeat.

He opens the fridge and beams at the fully stocked drinks and snacks. He cracks open a can of cider and leans against the counter. “Long,” he admits, “way too long. And my nose is still burning from the smell of rotten flesh.” You crinkle your nose at the thought. Leon’s never been much of a talker and most of his work being classified didn’t help. Whenever something wasn’t top secret, though, you were sure to sit there and listen no matter how horrific the details were.

You settle in on the couch next to the agent, listening to him drone on about a zombie-like creature that had peeling flesh and fifty eyes. You could vividly picture it from his words alone, and the image of the creature sent a shiver up your spine.

Leon talks for hours, spilling every miniscule detail of every horror he encounters. You stay the whole time, nodding along. Leon laughs at the way you scrunch your face in disgust or close your eyes in fear. He hates how cute you are, but he can’t seem to stop telling you stories. After many hours and a few drinks between the two of you, he’s almost run out of stories to tell.

Leon pats your shoulder gently, collecting his cans from where he’d set them on the coffee table. “I need a shower,” he states. “I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.”

“Go shower. You stink,” you joke and punch him in the ribs.

He feigns injury at your blow, pretending to suck in a breath like you’d really hurt him. He keeps up the facade the whole way to his bedroom, only leaving character when he shuts the door behind him.

It’s only when he’s disappeared that you realize how late it's gotten—and how dark. Even though your shared apartment is on the 19th floor, you can’t help but worry something is going to crawl through your window. You shake the thoughts away and get ready for bed, but every gust of wind and rustling of leaves makes you flinch.

You close your eyes and tug your comforter over your head, hoping that if there is something out there, it won’t know you’re there. You toss and turn for a while longer, staying dead quiet and pushing your fears away.

Finally, you can’t take it anymore. You take a deep breath, throw your comforter off of your shoulders, and sprint to Leon’s room. It’s like your brain is on autopilot—it knows exactly where to go to be safe.

You don’t knock on the door, instead quietly twisting the knob and slipping in through a crack in the door. Leon sits up as soon as your feet touch the wooden floor, eyes snapping towards your silhouette. He’s been a light sleeper ever since Racoon City, waking at the slightest of sounds.

He relaxes at the sight of you but only for a second. He glances at his digital clock, eyes widening at the time. “Y/n? What are you still doing up?”

“I-I couldn’t sleep…I feel like a flesh eating zombie is going to climb through my window and eat me.”

He chuckles. “That would be my fault.” He shuffles over in bed and pulls back the comforter. “You’re more than welcome to stay here for the night.”

You crawl into bed next to him, keeping as much distance between the two of you as possible. You can feel his body heat radiating through the blankets and smell his body wash on his skin. The feeling is new, yet so familiar it eases you instantly.

“Leon?”

He hums in response.

“Is it safer to sleep next to the window or the door? From like, a secret agent standpoint.”

“We’re on the 19th floor so window, but unless it's a hotel room, the door. You would more than likely hear it if they broke down the front door so you’d have more time to get out.”

You think for a second. “Can we switch places?”

“Honestly, y/n,” he laughs dryly, “the safest place to sleep right now is next to me.”

Your face warms at that and you nod, relaxing into his pillows. While you drift off to sleep, Leon watches over you. He knows nothing is going to come for you here, but he did promise to keep you safe, and he’ll keep that promise no matter what.

—

When you get home, you’re in a foul mood. You practically throw the groceries onto the counter before walking to your room and throwing yourself onto your bed. It’s been a long day. All of the stores were so busy you could hardly get through the aisles, and all of the people you encountered were rude.

Leon comes out of his room a few minutes later. Seeing the groceries abandoned on the counter, his first thought is to check on you. He doesn’t check on you, though. Not yet, anyway. He knows you’ll just be more upset if the frozen items melt and the milk sits out all night, so he sets out on putting them away.

After almost an hour of laying in your bed trying to recuperate after the day you’ve had, you’re snapped out of it by a text.

Leon: Come here, I have a surprise for you

You don’t feel like leaving your bed, but you force yourself out of it anyway. It’s not Leon you’re mad at. Leon is probably the only person in the world you don’t hate right now. You knock on his door softly, holding your arms behind your back.

“Come in!” He shouts.

You open the door, shuffling into his room and closing it behind you. Your jaw drops when you see a tray in the middle of his bed piled high with your favorite snacks, drinks and two wine glasses. Leon pats the spot next to him and you’re happy to oblige, relaxing onto the mattress.

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

He shrugs, pouring you a glass of wine. “It already seems like you had a bad day, I just wanted to do something to make it a little better for you.”

“Thank you.” He nods in acknowledgement, turning on his tv and handing you the remote. “You can choose the first movie. Just—maybe no zombies?”

You snort at that. Classic Leon, using his corny jokes to make light of even the worst of situations. You settle on an old favorite movie you love, handing the remote back to the blond and switching it for a wine glass.

Between your favorite movie, the delicious wine and your favorite snacks, your spirits are lifted in no time. One movie turns into two, and two turns into three. Soon enough, you’re dozing off in Leon’s bed.

He moves the tray of snacks and the glasses off of the bed to give you more room to sprawl out. Laying down next to you, he watches you sleep. A part of him wishes he could see this every night—the same sight he fantasizes about on even the hardest of missions.

He flicks off the lamp on his side table and settles in. “Good night, cutie,” he mumbles, knowing you’re far too deep in sleep to hear him.

—

You wake up in the middle of the night, moonlight streaming through the window and illuminating Leon’s bedroom. You’re still numb from sleep, your senses dulled just enough that it takes you a minute to realize that something is grabbing you. No, not grabbing—holding.

You blink a few times. Leon is laying next to you, his chest pressed to your back, his arms around your waist. You can feel the slow beating of his heart and the heat coming off of his skin. He’s so close it overwhelms you, yet it’s all you’ve ever wanted.

You think about slipping away but you know what a light sleeper he is, and you don’t think you could handle it if he woke up and saw how close you were. You close your eyes and try to calm the beating in your heart so you can fall back asleep.

When you wake up again, Leon is gone. Your body feels cold where his once was. You sit up—is he showering? He can’t be, the bathroom door is open. You sit up, letting the blankets fall off of you. You swing your legs over the side of his bed, walking out to the kitchen, but he’s not there either.

Did he leave to go get something?

You check your phone, expecting to see a text saying he ran out to go get more milk or something, but there’s nothing. You sigh, typing up a message and sending it to him.

Y/N: where’d you go?

You practically jump when your phone lets out a noise, but your heart sinks when you see what it is.

Message Not Delivered. Try Again?

You sigh. That can only mean one thing: he’s on another mission. Typical Leon, disappearing in the middle of the night to go god knows where for god knows how long. The frustration bubbles up in your chest and you feel like hitting something, but you don’t. It’s not worth it.

You try to keep your mind off of his sudden disappearance by throwing yourself into chores. You wash his bedding and make his bed, then wash your own. You sweep and mop the floors and vacuum the carpets. You dust the blinds.

It doesn’t help.

Your mind keeps wandering back to the fact that he left without saying goodbye. That he woke up at some ungodly hour, saw you laying in his arms, got up and left without another word. He didn’t even leave a note. He really cares that little.

You shake your head and even though the pit in your stomach makes you feel like not eating, you make yourself a sandwich regardless. Seeing the untouched groceries in the fridge just adds to the feeling.

Even though you know he’s not going to get it, you pull out your phone and start typing.

Y/N: do you at least know when you’ll be back?

Message Not Delivered. Try Again?

The message makes you roll your eyes. Leon fucking Kennedy.

—

A week goes by, and then two, and you still hear nothing from your roommate. You send texts here and there, hoping for an answer, but none of them go through. Eventually, you start venting to him through there, too. Expressing how frustrated you are that he didn’t say goodbye, how annoying your feelings are, how sometimes you wish you didn’t know him so you didn’t have to go through this.

It’s a random Sunday night when you’re sitting on the couch, watching trash reality tv and eating snacks. It’s cold in the apartment, but you can’t be bothered to turn on the heat. Only when your arms puff up with goosebumps do you scour the room for a sweater, settling on a random one hanging on the back of a chair.

It’s Leon’s, an old one from the Police Academy. His smell floods your nose when you pull it over your head, and it's so bittersweet you don’t know if you should laugh or cry. You settle back on the couch, but a rustling at the window makes you freeze in your tracks.

It stops for a moment, and you can almost convince yourself you’ve imagined it or it’s a part of the show—until it happens again. You scramble for the remote, pausing it so you can hear better. The noise starts again, and you waste no time in hightailing it to your bedroom and slamming the door behind you.

You flop onto your bed, trying (and failing) to remind yourself that it’s just the wind. That you’re safe here. But it’s hard when it’s late and you’re tired and you’re alone and the only person you feel safe with just abandoned you.

You curl up into a ball, pulling Leon’s sweater over your mouth and inhaling the familiar scent. It’s enough to calm you down, if only for a few moments. If you close your eyes, you can almost trick yourself into thinking he’s there, and for now, that’s good enough.

—

Leon knows he fucked up when he gets back to the country and turns on his phone. Almost fifty messages from you, each one more sad than the last. He wants to slap himself—why couldn’t he just grow a pair and say goodbye? Why did he have to be so noncommittal?

He reads every message on the cab ride back to the apartment, and his heart breaks for you. He didn’t think about how you would drive yourself crazy over him or how worried you must have been. All he thought about was getting the call for the mission in the middle of the night and not wanting to wake you up.

But he didn’t abandon you. He thought about you every day and god—he wishes he could have talked to you. Hearing your voice and seeing your face was enough to make everything better. With the horrors he’s seen lately, all he wants is to be back in that bed with you for one more night.

He’s quiet coming into the apartment, hoping he doesn’t wake you up or scare you. And even though he knows you’re sleeping, he’s still disappointed you’re not waiting at the door for him.

He tosses his backpack into his room and strips off all of his holsters and velcro. He’s quiet walking down the hallway to your room and even quieter opening the door. He relaxes at the sight of you curled up in a ball.

You look so cute and so peaceful and—is that his sweater? The sight brings a smile to his face. He closes the door behind him with a soft click, climbing into the bed next to you.

You wake up when the bed dips down and arms wrap around you. You’re so tired you don’t even care who or what it is.

“If you’re gonna kill me, can you at least let me sleep first?” You mumble.

You fully awake as soon as you hear Leon’s laugh.

“You’re back?” You say, and you hate the way your voice cracks.

You turn around to face him, tired ocean eyes meeting yours. He nods sleepily, “‘m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. It was stupid of me.”

“It’s okay,” and it really is okay. All the resentment you felt melted away at the sight of him.

“C’mere,” he mumbles.

You lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around him. You can hear his heart rate slow down at the contact.

“I just—I just need you tonight.” Those are big words coming from the agent, and they leave you completely stunned. He must have seen or done something horrible while he was away for him to be this vulnerable, even with you.

“You can have me tonight.” You try to keep your voice even, “you can have me whenever you need me,”

He kisses the top of your head. “But I always need you.”

“Then I’m always yours.”

Neither of you speak after that, Leon falling into a light sleep. You stay up a while longer, watching the blond boy rest beneath you. He looks so fragile like this, you can’t imagine him fighting off monsters and handling weapons. You kiss his collarbone through his shirt and let yourself fall asleep with him.

#resident evil angst #resident evil fluff #resident evil #re4 leon #resident evil 4 #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #x you #x reader

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whenlilyfallsinlove · 2 months

Text

i know you

eli moskowitz x reader... (y/n) is basically jess in gilmore girls.. ive been obsessed with cobra kai lately

"what the fuck are you doing?"

"excuse me?"

you don't think you have ever felt as angry as you have done today. finding out that one of your best friends, that you just so happened to be in love with, had changed completely as a person was one thing. finding out he tried to beat up the third member of your little trio was another.

so you did what you had to, you always felt the need to go out the way to protect eli and demetri. you didn't think it would end up being from each other.

approximately half an hour earlier:

"(y/n)." demetri's face flooded your screen, as you were sprawled across your bed. calls were usually a common thing between the two of you now eli was distant.

"demetri.. hey! you okay?" you respond, taking note of his face.

"no." he says, in a deadpan tone.

"umm why? what happened?"

"eli happened."

of course. ever since your best friend since age 6 joined cobra kai, he had felt like a whole new person. he even gave himself a new name for goodness sake! you and demetri both knew it wasn't the real him. you'd known him for too long. that being said - this new persona didn't stop him avoiding you both.

"what did.. what did he do?" you look into your phone camera, worry evident on your face.

"he tried to beat me up! i was at the mall with sam and robby.. and i went to the comic book store.. and he was there. wasn't happy with my yelp review and tried to fight me."

"what the hell." your eyes widen slightly. rage soaring through your veins. what was he playing at? putting on a front to show off to his friends. why didn't he remember who his real friends were?

"i know.. i just can't believe he would do it. we were friends with him!"

"i know.. are you sure you're okay?" you ask, concerned.

"i'm fine.. robby and sam helped fight them off it just.. caught me by surprise."

"i bet it did.. look i'll ring you later, okay? i just need to take care of something."

demetri knew you all too well.

"don't do something you'll regret." he says.

"i won't."

now here you were, shouting at someone that was supposed to be your best friend. the boy you have had a crush on for so many years.

"don't 'excuse me'. you know what you did." you scoff, walking closer to him. you had decided to wait until he had finished karate to talk, it seemed appropriate.

"oh yeah? and what's that?" eli looked at you, his tone cocky.

"you tried to beat up demetri! what are you doing?" you question, looking at him in disgust.

"he shouldn't have put up that yelp review." he scowls.

"oh who cares about a stupid review! he's supposed to be one of your best friends." you say, angrily.

"not anymore. i'm not friends with pussies."

"what the hell is your problem? what.. you gonna ditch us just because we don't want to beat people up like you do?" your voice raises slightly, causing eli's scowl to falter.

"I told you, i'm not friends with weak people." he says.

"are you kidding? seriously! who was the one that used to fight your bullies in elementary? me! who was your first friend? demetri!"

"we're not kids anymore. people change. friendships change. it's not my fault you guys aren't strong enough for this." eli says, looking away from you, his demeanour crumbling.

"you're not like that either. you're putting on an act!" you exclaim.

"an act? the fuck? this is me now, accept it." he shouts.

"what's going on with you?!"

"nothing.. im fine." he says, his eyes searching your face.

"i know you. i know you better than anyone! this isn't you."

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean! starting fights with demetri.. ditching us for those idiots.. being so violent. why are you being so violent?" you ask, looking him in the eye.

the pleading in your voice makes his face soften slightly. you always had a way of getting to him. i mean, of course you did, he'd always had a massive crush on you.

"just tell me what's up with you! i care about you. why are you being like this?" you beg.

eli struggles to get his words out. he wanted to reach out, he wanted to hug you. he wanted to go back to yours and watch doctor who with you and demetri. but he coudln't.

"you don't.. you don't know me anymore." he forces out.

your face falls and eli swears he could feel his heart break.

"fine. don't expect me to wait for you anymore." and with that you turn and walk away, a small part of you hoping he stops you.

he doesn't.

he wants to, he really does. but that's not him anymore.

he watches you walking off with a pained expression, knowing hes fucked up. he just can't bring himself to stop you.

#x reader #fanfic #angst #cobra kai #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai x you #cobra kai x y/n #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz x you #eli moskowitz x y/n #hawk #hawk x reader

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smoshyourheadin · 5 months

Note

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

#spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew #smosh #smoshyourheadin #angela giarratana #amanda lehan canto #arasha lalani #courtney miller #shayne topp

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hughesluver43 · 16 days

Text

“𝐈𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮“ (Quinn Hughes)

Warnings: oral sex (m receiving)

Summary: Quinn and the Canucks clinch a playoff off spot, and reader thinks he deserves a reward.

Word count: 817

————————————————————

I waited for Quinn outside of the arena by his car. The Canucks just won their last ‘game’ of the season, the next game they would play would be for the Stanley Cup playoffs.

I was looking down at my phone when I heard him call my name.

“Y/n” I heard him all out behind me

I immediately turned around and through my arms around him. This was his first time clinching the playoffs as captain. I was so happy and excited for him.

“Im so proud of you.” I say into his jacket, my head tucked into his neck.

“Thank you baby.” He says. I can hear the excitement in his voice.

I pulled back from our hug and both of my hands are on his cheeks, cupping his face.

I pull him to a long awaited kiss.

After a few seconds I pull back and rest my head against his. As we relish in the moment I can’t help but have a huge smile on my face, and so does Quinn.

After we pull apart we get in his car and head back to his apartment, the place Ive been staying at for most of the week.

Once we get back to his apartment we lay on the couch with a movie on in the background, cuddling in each others embrace.

“I love you, and I hope you know how proud I am of you.” I say looking up at him and into his eyes.

“Thank you, I appreciate you and I couldn’t have done it without your support.I hope you know that.” He responds, kissing my forehead.

I smile into his neck and move one of my legs to go on the other side of him, straddling him. As my head is in his neck I start kissing him under his ear, kissing his sweet spot. Both of his hands move to my waist and he pulls me closer so our bodies are flushed against each other.

I start kissing lower down his neck before I say

“I think you, captain, deserve a reward for how great you played tonight.” I whisper in his ear.

“Oh do you?” He says in my ear.

“Mhm” I mumble as I slowly slide down to sit between his legs. I play with the band of his sweatpants as he leans down and kisses me hard, and full of passion.

I rub his hard on through his sweatpants and I hear him groan. I tug at the band if his sweatpants, hinting at him to take them off.

He lifts his hips up so I can slide his pants and boxers down to his knees.

His rock hard cock springs free from it’s restraint inside his boxers. I smile up at him from my spot between his legs and grab his cock with one hand while the other rubs up and down his thighs.

I jerk him off with my hand and gently run my tongue along the slit of his tip. Quinn throughs his head back and groans. His hand comes down to pull all my hair into a make shift ponytail with his hand.

I wrap my whole mouth around his cock as he pulls my hair back. Once he does he throws his head back against the hard backing of the couch.

I feel Quinn push my head all the way down, till my nose is nuzzled against his pelvis. I gag a little then Quinn pulls my head back up and I take back over, running the bottom of my tongue down his cock, while make a vacuum with my mouth, sucking him.

“Fuck” I hear Quinn mumble

“Don't stop baby, i’m almost there.” He adds

I suck him harder, if I even can.

I bring my head all the way down so i’m gagging around him and I feel his muscles twitch under my arm that’s resting on his thigh. He’s close.

I keep my head down as far as I can but I guess Quinn doesn’t think it’s far enough down because he pushes my head down more, my nose is smushed all the way down into his pelvis as I feel him come down my throat.

Once he takes his hand off my head I come up and he cups my face and pulls me in for a kiss.

He pulls his pants and boxers up and pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around my waist.

“I love you.” I hear Quinn say into my neck, where his face is nuzzled.

“I love you too.” I say into his neck when my face is rested against.

We stay like that for the rest of the night, cuddling each other, with a movie playing in the background. We don't even move to the bed to sleep, we just stayed on the couch resting in each others arms.

————————————————————

With lots of love -Jazzy 🎀🧸

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader

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cecilysobsessions · 2 years

Text

ALL YOURS (m.) | levi

↬ word count: 11k

↬ slight enemies to friends to lovers except levi has always been in love but he’s in denial, fem!reader, ive decided that this takes place in a time in aot when nobody was dead and titans were the only problem lol, sassy reader, jealous levi, inexperienced levi, sub!levi, typos

↬ summary: ever since you were promoted to captain, all levi ackerman has ever done was shit on the way you run things. turns out he was only acting like that because he couldn’t handle his feelings for you.

↬ genre: fluff / smut

↬ warnings: swearing, begging, levi on his knees for you, oral, vaginal sex, desperate levi lmao

↬ a/n: i havent watched aot in so long so forgive me if i get some things wrong 😭 also im such a slut for sub characters im so sorry

m.list

To Levi, you were the most infuriating, idiotic, and impatient person to ever join the military. Every little thing you ever did he hated with his entire being: from the way you spoke to your squad, to the way you disciplined and trained them, even to the way you made your tea he hated. But, of course, he wasn’t being a hater for no reason.

You were a good fighter. Talented, agile, naturally gifted and athletic. You were capable of ridding a large area of titans within minutes, something not many scouts had a skill for. And although Levi had always silently admired that about you, that was the only thing that kept him from trying to get you kicked out. The two of you were opposite in personality: like opposite ends of earth, sun and moon, fire and water, the two of you had nothing in common and were never able to agree on anything.

“Everybody likes the new captain more than Levi,” he had overheard one of the other scouts whisper in the dining hall after you got promoted.

“Well, yeah. She’s so much nicer and a way better captain than Levi. She’s pretty, too.”

Pretty? Please, were those scouts blind? There was nothing pretty about you. Except for the fact that he seemed to be at a loss of words whenever his eyes looked into yours and the fact that whenever you pulled your hair out of your ponytail he got a whiff of your shampoo and took in a breath just to get a sniff of your shampoo and the fact that when you walked into a room you stole the attention of everybody there and the fact that you were so confident in your ability to run a squad and the fact that he did you find you pretty but he would never admit it and would rather feed himself to the titans than say so. But other than that, you spoke too much and too loud, you were taller than him, and you were annoying.

•••

“We’ve got a couple new scouts coming in,” Erwin spoke as he pulled out a sheet of paper from his desk, looking at the list of the new names of soldiers. He had called you and Levi into his office to discuss “important” things.

“I know you’ve just been promoted,” he looked up from the paper and into your eyes. “But these new recruits need some training and no one else is available to train them. Since you’re still a new captain yourself, I think it would be a good idea for Levi to help you and maybe teach you some things.”

Did he think you were incapable of training some new kids just because your promotion was recent? What kind of stupid logic was that? You were perfectly capable of training the new recruits all on your own and did not need that grumpy old short guy to help you.

“Sir, do not worry. I don’t require the assistance of captain Levi to train these new recruits. I think I know how to do that already,” you kept your hands behind your back and in clenched fists; your ego had taken a blow due to the fact that Erwin believed you needed help to do your job. Besides, you had a squad of your own and trained them yourself, so what made Erwin think you needed help?

“I think you do,” he replied flatly. “You’re a great captain and you’re good at training, but I think you’re too soft on your soldiers. Your soldiers need more discipline themselves…” he continued to list more stupid reasons as to why you needed Levi’s help, but you spaced out. Sneaking a peek at Levi standing beside you, you eyed his resting bitch face, absolutely no trace of human emotion on his face. Why was he being so quiet? Was he already informed of this before you? If so, why did he find out before you? Was he okay with doing it and that was why he wasn’t saying anything?

“They’ll be here this afternoon,” Levi turned to look at you, his voice stern and cold. “Their training will begin as soon as they arrive and if you’re late, you’ll be cleaning all the horses for tonight.”

“I’m never late,” you corrected.

“At yesterday’s meeting you showed up six minutes late. You are always late.” he told you bluntly.

“Well then, it’s settled. Try not to kill each other in the process of training the new recruits. We need to set an example and show them that the two of you are capable captains.” Erwin said proudly.

“Only one of us is a capable captain,” Levi says, rolling his eyes and turning to leave the room. Your eyes twitch in annoyance and your footsteps follow Levi’s out the office door. What the hell was he thinking? It would be such a waste of time to have both of you train the new recruits, so why would it be the two of you? And why did he say you’re always late? You’re never late! And if you weren’t a capable captain, why were you promoted? All Levi has ever done is shit on you and take any chance he can get to throw shade at you.

“I’ll have you know I’m a very capable captain. In fact, probably more capable than you. That’s why everyone likes me more than you,” you start lecturing him, catching up to his footsteps quickly as you follow him.

“People only like you more because you are nicer. Niceness does not kill titans; skills and weapons do.” he refuses to look at you, choosing to stare straight ahead.

“I know that.”

“Do you? Because since you became captain and began training more recruits, we have had a higher number of deaths since your dumb promotion.” he finally looked at you, eyes filled with such hatred it was like he could murder you if he stared long enough.

“That’s not true!”

“Of course you think that,” he rolled his eyes, his flat and monotone voice gone; he was beginning to get pissed. “You would know our deaths have been higher than usual if you bothered to put in effort and actually read the mission reports.”

“I do read them,”

“No, you do not. Because if you did, you would realize that the way you discipline and train our soldiers is doing them more harm than good. And you would change your ways of training. But instead, you hang around drinking with the others and making jokes and pulling pranks instead of doing your job properly.” Levi lectured, his voice laced with annoyance and hatred.

You always knew Levi thought you did a bad job as a captain, but you never thought he would actually say it to your face. He never said much to you, but when he did, it was just insults and lectures about everything you did wrong as a person.

“At least I leave time for fun! You’re all work and no play and this is why nobody likes you, Levi. Why do you think everyone calls you an old grumpy man?”

“Our soldiers are out here dying and you want to have fun? Are you that stupid, or do you just not have a brain? We don’t have time for your dumb little games, you idiot. Do you not care about the lives of our soldiers at all? Are you that much of a stupid brat that you are unable to comprehend that?”

You stare blankly at Levi. He was right. You didn’t realize it until now, but everything he said was right. While you never intended to poorly train anybody or get anybody killed, you realize that the way you did things probably caused the death of a lot of people because of you. Your heart sank and you were at a loss of words. You would never describe Levi as a nice person, but you didn’t think he was going to blow up in your face and insult everything you did. When all you do is stare at him in response, his eyes leave yours and he looks away awkwardly. After blowing up on you and practically yelling at you in the hallway, you grew silent and he was starting to feel awkward.

“See you tonight.” is all he says before he walks off, leaving you alone in the hallway.

•••

You were late. And not even by a few minutes, but by two hours. Two whole hours. After yelling at you in the hallways, you had gone to your room to take a nap and sleep off how you were feeling. Unfortunately, you overslept and nobody bothered to come and get you to wake you up.

Levi was going to kill you.

After sprinting your way to the training area like your life depended on it (because it did), you found Levi standing in front of the new recruits, his chin held high and proud as he spoke to them. When you walked up awkwardly to his side, he turned and rolled his eyes at you.

“Ah, the incapable captain I told you all about,” he begins, his eyebrows furrowing in annoyance because of your presence.

“At least I don’t need a step stool to grab some cups in the kitchen cabinets,” you automatically responded, straightening out your uniform. Your comment earned a couple laughs from the new recruits.

“Don’t forget you’re washing the horses tonight, captain.” his sharp eyes looked up at yours, a mischievous glimmer glowing in them. Ha! He thought you were actually going to listen to him and clean the horses?

“You are not my captain anymore, Levi. We are now equals, so I no longer take orders from you.” you grinned sarcastically. Now that you were standing in front of him again, you began to feel re-pissed from earlier.

“I’ve been a captain longer than you.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You might be a captain now, but remember you used to be in my squad.”

“Thankfully, I’m no longer part of it.”

Levi turns to you and eyes the pillow mark on your cheek, a smirk coming to play on his lips. When he noticed you weren’t on time, he had thought that maybe you were still mad at him earlier and decided you weren’t going to show up. While that might have pissed him off, he wouldn’t be surprised if that was what you were going to do.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” you retorted after noticing that he was looking at you for more than half a second. His stupid face was a waste of good looks.

“She is a perfect example of what you don’t want to do,” he turned back to the recruits. “Too lazy to show up on time and too lazy to fix themselves up before leaving the room.”

Your eyes twitch in annoyance and you lean down slightly to whisper to Levi. “When I wash the horses tonight, I’ll be sure to miss yours. I know how pissed you off you get when something or someone isn’t clean.”

He knew you weren’t joking. He knew that you knew exactly how to push his buttons. And if there’s one thing he knew about you, it was that you were petty and what you said wasn’t a threat, but a promise. But when you leaned down to whisper into his ear, your strands of hair that softly brushed against his cheek had him hesitating to say anything. He got a whiff of your shampoo and looked away. It smelled like peaches. Your whisper felt like a gentle tickle in his ear, your voice so low and sultry it annoyed him.

You were annoying.

“You don’t want to be on her squad. Trust me everyone, she’d probably get you killed.” Levi tells the recruits, his feet planted firmly where he was standing. He wasn’t moving away from you.

“Captain Levi here would probably overwork you all to death before that happens.” you send a sweet smile to the soldiers standing across from you and Levi.

“Right, well there’s a reason I’m humanity’s strongest soldier and not you.” the not-so-subtle brag had you rolling your eyes.

“There’s also a reason everyone calls you a grumpy old man behind your back,” you smile at everyone and Levi takes a deep breath in annoyance.

“Nobody calls me that.”

“Everybody calls you that.”

“That’s not true.”

“Of course you wouldn’t know. I just said that everyone says it behind your back. Were you not listening?”

“Every time you speak I choose not to listen.”

“Choose not to? Or can’t because your hearing is so bad now that you’re old?”

His mouth twitches. He is annoyed. “I might be older than you, but I’m still stronger than you.

“Oh, are you getting irritated, captain? I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were so sensitive to words. Must be a thing that happens when you get old…”

Before Levi is about to insult you back, the two of you hear a faint voice in the background. “Captain!” both of you turn around. It was Jean.

“Why are you interrupting us?” Levi glares, crossing his arms. “What do you want?”

“Hange told me to come get you guys. We’ve got food in the dining hall to celebrate the new scouts.”

“We’ve barely begun training. They can eat when they’re fin—”

“Dinner is serrrrved!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air in victory. “Let’s go eat, newbies! You’ll need all the energy you can get if you are gonna kill some titans!” as you holler and hype up the scouts, you walk off and direct them all to follow you, leaving Levi in the dust.

As he watches you walk off, Levi’s eyes can’t help but drift to the person walking beside you. Jean.

•••

It’s like his eyes had a mind of their own. Almost like it was against his will, Levi’s eyes followed you around the dining hall. You were the life of the party: charismatic, friendly, and humorous. There was music and food and laughing and you were dancing for the scouts, a bright smile plastered on your pretty face. Normally he wouldn’t think much of it or even care to look, but a certain someone wouldn’t stop looking at you and touching you and being friendly with you.

Jean.

He knew the two of you were friendly, but he never thought it was anything more than that. But tonight, as he was watching you dance, Levi noticed that he wasn’t the only one watching you. Jean’s eyes followed you like you were the only person in the entire room. Jean admired you from his seat, hollering in excitement and hyping you up to the music.

Not that Levi cared. Of course not. Why would he? He totally wasn’t just sitting on some chair in the corner of the dining hall too cranky or upset to talk to anybody because he didn’t like the way Jean was looking at you. Where was Mikasa? Didn't the kid have a crush on her?

Levi scoffs to himself, taking a sip of his tea as he continues watching you. He sees you saunter over to Jean, grabbing his cup and taking a sip of it before smiling at him. Levi’s eyes can’t help but roll back. Why did you look so happy and smiley next to Jean? Why did it look like you were flirting with him? And why was Levi getting annoyed?

Why did he care anyway? He just found you annoying. Your presence, your personality, your entire being annoyed him. He stood up abruptly, setting his tea down and walking out to get some fresh air.

“Enjoying the party?” It was you.

“Did you follow me out here?” He leaned on the wooden fence railing and looked up at the night sky.

“You stomped out like a cranky old man, so I thought I’d check up on you.” you teased, coming up and resting your arms on the railing as well.

“I was doing just fine until you came out here. Don’t you have your boyfriend to go back to?” he couldn’t help but bring up Jean. He was nosy and wanted to so badly know if there was anything going on between the two of you.

“Which one?” you tried to joke, but you forgot he didn’t have a sense of humor because he just stared at you.

“Are you curious if I have a boyfriend or not?” you ask after a beat.

“I don’t care.”

“Bullshit. You must be curious at least a little bit. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked.” you tease, leaning towards him and tilting your head and waiting for an answer.

Fuck, why did you have to look at him like that? Head slightly tilted, hair tousled from dancing around, a bright glimmer of hope beaming in your eyes, something he lost a long time ago. His eyes met yours, and he found himself staring at you. Observing, admiring, memorizing your features. He blamed the glistening stars and the shining light of the moonlight that made you look so beautiful. He had found other people beautiful before, but your beauty couldn’t even be compared to others. There was something about you that always hooked his attention, always had his eyes searching for you, and always had his heart beating faster. Although he found you annoying and couldn’t stand being near you, when you weren’t around he found himself searching for you. Thinking of you. Longing for you.

“Are you staring at me, captain?” you teased sarcastically, a smug smile on your pretty lips.

“You’re just so ugly it’s unbelievable someone as ugly as you even exists.” what the fuck just came out of his mouth? It was an automatic response, something he would say out of annoyance but not actually mean. Levi felt himself panic a little, his heartbeat speeding up in fear of how you would respond.

“Oh yeah?” you smiled once more and his eyes wandered down to your lips. He wondered what they would feel like against his own. “If I’m so ugly, why do you keep looking at me? Why don’t you look away?”

You leaned in closer to him once more, your lips close to his if you even slightly moved forward you would be kissing. There was a moment of silence that sat between the two of you. You felt his breath on your lips, your gaze moving down to them. His heart began to race; why did it look like you were about to kiss him? Why were your eyes on his lips? And why were his eyes beginning to drift to yours?

“Levi,” your voice a whisper. His head tilted slightly to the side, like he was getting ready to lean and kiss you. The background noise of music and the scouts cheering inside faded away because all he could focus on was your lips.

“Yes?” He sounded so sweet, so soft. It wasn’t like him at all; he had never been this nice to you. Usually when you tried to get his attention he always answered with nothing but a cold attitude.

“What do you want?”

“If you’re going to say something stupid like you usually do, go bother someone else. Unlike you, I actually have work to do.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me right now. I’m not interested in whatever bullshit you have to say, you brat.”

“Do you—” you began.

“CAPTAIN!” the door behind you slammed open, a slightly drunk Jean stumbling out and holding his beer up. “We’re playing a drinking game, come join us!”

“I’m not interested. Fuck off.” Levi angrily replied.

“Oh. I wasn’t talking to you,” Jean awkwardly said, eyes drifting from Levi to you.

“A drinking game? Sounds fun!” you excitedly smiled, straightening back up and pulling away from Levi. As you began to follow Jean back inside, you felt a firm grip on your arm.

“She’s not interested either,” Levi spoke for you, his hand tugging you back to where you were standing next to him. “We’re discussing mission stuff.” he doesn’t know why he said that. A lie like that just rolled off his tongue so easily and so automatically. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want you to go back inside, but stay out there with him.

Jean seemed to notice the hostile vibe from Levi, nodded, then walked back inside. Levi’s hand stayed wrapped around your arm, his grip strong and firm.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“If you go back in there and start drinking, you’re just gonna get drunk and I’m going to have to take you back to your room again.” he complained, but really it was just an excuse to get you to stay out there with him.

“That was one time!”

“You fucking threw up on me! Twice!”

“Well, where was I supposed to vomit? My bed?!”

“Just don’t throw up at all!”

“How could you say that to a drunk person?!”

“Maybe don’t get drunk and I won’t say that!”

“Ugh, whatever. This is why nobody likes you, Levi.” you roll your eyes, shaking your hand from his grip. You get drunk one time and he decides to bring it up at every chance he gets.

“You think I care about what other people think?”

“I think you care what I think of you.”

“You’re thinking wrong. Maybe if you actually had a brain you wouldn’t say that. I don’t know what Erwin was thinking when he promoted someone as stupid and incompetent as you.”

“Whatever, short bitch.” you snorted.

“What did you say to me?”

“Oh sorry,” you sarcastically apologize, dramatically leaning down. “Lemme lean down to your level so you can hear me. I forgot you’re old, too.”

He scoffs, flicking your forehead aggressively with his middle finger. “OW! What the hell was that for?”

“For being such a brat.”

“What? Me wanting to go and have some fun is being a brat?”

“Yeah. If Jean hadn’t suggested something so stupid, you wouldn’t want to do something so stupid.”

“What does this have anything to do with Jean?” you questioned. Why was he suddenly bringing Jean up? “Wait,” you pointed an accusing finger at him. “Are you jealous?”

“What? Are you stupid? What kind of dumb question is that?” he scoffs again, leaning back on the railing and rolling his eyes. He tried to hide it, but the faint pink on his cheeks was obvious.

You gasped dramatically, covering your mouth. “You are, aren’t you?!”

“No!”

“Would you look at that,” you tilted your head in amusement. “Captain Levi is jealous.”

“Not only are you stupid, but you’re crazy too.”

“Insult me all you want; I know you’re jealous.” you couldn’t help but grin to yourself. Excitement fluttered in your chest and you peeked at Levi, trying to see if he had any sort of reaction.

Although you looked at him and waited for some sort of reaction, Levi was still able to keep himself together. It felt as if his heart was about to explode and his hands were clammy from being nervous and he wanted to avoid all and any eye contact with you because if he even looked at you for one second his facade would break.

You wouldn’t stop staring. Your soft, inviting, and beautiful eyes would not leave his face and the more you stared the harder it became to keep a straight face. He needed to change the subject.

“About the other day after leaving Erwin’s office,” he started. “I’m sorry for what I said. I should have been a little nicer about it.”

Levi apologized? To you? If there was one thing you thought you would never hear from the old grumpy guy, it was an apology.

“Even though what I said is true, I could have worded it better so that you wouldn’t cry.”

“I didn't cry!”

“I know you did. I walked by your room after that and heard you.”

“You listened in on me crying? You’re such a freak,” you poked fun at him. “I didn’t even know you were capable of apologizing. Or even feeling bad.”

“I know you’re a sensitive person.”

“I am not a sensitive person.”

“Yes you are.”

“No, I am no—”

“Would you just shut up and accept my apology?” he burst out, ruthless eyes glaring at you.

Levi was an impatient man. “You don’t apologize to someone and demand for them to forgive you,” you lectured. “That’s not how it works, captain. Of course you wouldn’t know; this is probably the first time you’ve ever said sorry.”

He knew he shouldn’t have apologized because all you were going to do was critique it and annoy him again. “Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the fence. You knew he was about to leave. “Don’t get too drunk. I’m not going to take you back to your room if you do.”

“I’ll have Jean take me to my room then. Or maybe his.” you brought him up again, just to test the waters and make sure he was actually jealous and you weren’t just crazy. You didn’t actually intend on getting drunk or having Jean escort you back to your room, you just wanted a reaction.

“Do whatever you want.” he brushed you off, waving a hand in dismissal as he began walking away.

•••

Maybe it was the alcohol or the midnight sky or the glistening stars, but since that night you and Levi were able to have a somewhat decent conversation without wanting to throw the other across the room. And since that night, his insults haven’t been as harsh as usual and he didn’t jump at every chance to point out everything that was wrong with you. Surprisingly, he actually began to speak to you as if you were a human and had human emotions. It felt weird at first, and you thought that maybe he was only acting that way because you were forced to train the new scouts together, but even after their training finished, he was slightly nicer to you. If he kept it up, you might even consider him your friend.

He might have begun being nicer to you, but that wasn’t the case for Jean. Jean was getting scolded more often and more harshly than usual, over the smallest things that didn’t even matter. It was so obvious that even the other scouts started noticing.

“Jean’s getting scolded again,” you overheard Armin inform his friends in the dining hall. Your eyes shifted to Levi and Jean a couple feet away. Jean was looking away in shame and Levi was staring up at him, mouth going off and blabbering about how his tea was lukewarm.

“Over what?” Eren asked.

“Captain Levi asked Jean to heat up his tea, but apparently it wasn’t hot enough.”

“HA! He probably deserved it!” Eren cracked up, grabbing his stomach in the process to soothe his laughter.

“But haven’t you noticed too,” Armin lowered his voice in an attempt to be more secretive. You heard your name and all of a sudden their conversation was interesting and now you were listening on purpose. “He’s been so nice to her lately…”

You began to crane your neck towards the young scouts, nosy and desperate to hear what they were saying about you. Nonchalantly taking a sip of your drink, you felt a firm hand grip your shoulder. “Captain,” you looked up.

It was Levi. You never thought much of it before, but now that Levi was referring to you as captain had your heart doing leaps in your chest. It was small and insignificant, but something about him putting respect on your name and calling you with your title made you feel appreciated.

“Come with me. Mission meeting.”

•••

You had forgotten that Erwin asked the two of you to team up and join squads together on an upcoming mission. Since Levi had toned down his attitude towards you, Erwin took it as a sign and assumed the two of you were growing closer. Unfortunately, the mission didn’t run as smoothly as you had hoped.

You sustained an injury, it was light and minor, but it still worried everyone. You had crashed into a tree, a couple tree branches scraping you and drawing blood. You had hastily ripped off a part of your shirt, clumsily wrapping it around the injury on your arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Now that you were back in the walls safely, you were trying to wrap your arm up again with bandages with one hand. You struggled, failing to wrap it around your bleeding arm, cursing under your breath and debating whether or not you should go out and ask for someone’s help. Luckily, someone walked into the room to help you.

That someone was Levi.

He walked in silently, his light footsteps were the only sound in the room as he walked up to you. “Need help?”

“No, I don’t. I’m perfectly capable of doing it on my own.”

“Doesn’t look like it. You’re still bleeding.”

“I’m not blind, I can see that.” you remarked, once again struggling to wrap the bandage around your arm. You hissed in frustration and pain. Why wouldn’t the stupid bandage just wrap around you?

“You’re such an idiot,” he commented, stepping in front of where you were sitting. He stood between your legs, your legs touching his. He didn’t make a move to pull away, his slender fingers brushing against yours as he took the bandage from your hands and gently wrapping it around your wound. His hands were soft. Contrasting his personality and attitude, his hands handled you with a gentle touch.

“I told you to be careful before we left for the mission,” he said, securing the bandage around your arm. Your eyes drifted to his slender hands, veins slightly protruding as he applied pressure to the bandage. “And you didn’t listen.”

“You think I wanted to get hurt on purpose?” you retorted, rolling your eyes and wincing at the pain of your injury.

“Does it hurt?”

“Duh.”

“Weakling,” he finished wrapping you up, his eyes staring down into yours. “You need to be more careful next time.” his voice was almost a whisper, filled with a slight touch of concern.

“I know that already.” your eyes stayed on his. His sharp eyes focused on your face, his pupils darting around the details on your face. Was there something on your face? You felt a rush of insecurity and an embarrassing blush grew on your cheeks. “Is there something on my face? Why do you keep looking at me, huh? Got a crush on me or something?”

You watched Levi inhale deeply, his breath lightly brushing against your cheek and you suddenly realized just how close he was standing in front of you. Even though he already finished wrapping you up, he was still standing close to you, his legs brushing against yours. You watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed nervously, his eyes going from watching your face to looking away.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he warned.

“Oh?” you suddenly smiled with confidence. You loved watching him when you irritated him; he got annoyed so easily it was amusing. And when he got irritated, the warning look he shot at you with his eyes sharpened and hard, made you want to push his buttons even more.

“Is it really so ridiculous? Because you can’t seem to take your eyes off me, just like the other night. Am I really so ugly you’re unable to look away?” you remark, thinking about how he called you ugly the other night in a panic when you caught him staring at you.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I’ve never seen anyone as unattractive as you are.” his eyes dropping down to your lips and lingering on them.

You don’t know why, but in the moment you wondered how he would react if you kissed him. The looks he kept giving you made you weak in the knees and you couldn’t help but want to give into your desires.

“Then why are you staring at my lips, captain?” you challenged, a teasing smile creeping up.

“Because you talk too much,” his eyes darted to yours for just a beat before dropping back down to your lips. “You talk too much…” he repeated, but this time it was a whisper, his lips hovering over yours. “And you’re too loud…” he whispered, his voice laced with a strange sweetness you had never heard before.

“I talk too much and I’m too loud? Oh yeah, then what else do you hate about me?”

“You’re too cocky,” he answers you, his arms coming down to rest on the chair you were sitting down on either side of you. You got a whiff of his scent and inhaled the smell of bar soap. “And when you’re hanging around the other scouts, you dance so horribly it hurts to look at.” his head tilts to the side almost as if he was ready to kiss you. All you had to do was move forward the tiniest bit and you’d get to taste his lips.

“You watch me when I dance?” you grin, tilting your head the other way and leaning in just a bit. When you leaned in, you noticed he didn’t make a move to lean away from you. You have never been this close to Levi, so now that you were, you felt a rush of excitement and wanted more of it.

“Yeah, you’re so bad at it, it’s entertaining.” you saw a small grin appear on his face, something you almost never saw.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he quickly says before leaning down and lightly brushing his nose against yours, if he moved any closer his lips would be on yours. He exhales against your skin, his breathing uneven as he attempts to hold himself back.

When he doesn’t make a move, you grow impatient and lean in to kiss him yourself. To your surprise, he doesn’t pull away, but instead surrenders to his desires and closes his eyes. He is still for a moment, and you wonder if it is because he regrets kissing you back or if it is because he’s nervous. You lean in to him a bit, trying to signal to him to start actually kissing you back. The faint taste of black tea covers your lips before a sudden realization, and your eyes shoot open.

“Was that your first kiss?” you ask, pulling away and smirking down at him, the new memory of levi moving his lips against your clumsily in an attempt to kiss you made you smile.

His eyes widened in fear and embarrassment. “W-What? No!”

“Oh my, captain. I didn’t know you had this side to you. Wanna kiss again? I'll show you how to do it.” you wink, enjoying the slight blush that crept up on his cheeks as his eyes looked everywhere but yours.

“I’ve kissed people before!”

“Your mother doesn’t count.”

“I wasn’t talking about her!”

You grab his chin, tilting it downwards as you look up at him. “That’s cute. You’re cute. Kiss me again,” you lean in excitedly. After finding out how inexperienced he was, it made you want to kiss him even more. When you’re about to lean in and kiss him again, Levi panics and hastily puts his hands on his shoulder to stop you.

“I—what are you doing?!”

“What? You don’t wanna kiss me anymore?”

“You… you brat. You made fun of me,” there is a slight pout on his lips.

Oh. He was hurt you had made fun of him. Well, you didn’t know he was that sensitive to it. “Sorry,” you tell him. You stand up, stepping away from him because now you’ve just made it awkward and feel the urge to leave. When you wait for his response and it’s silent, you decide to leave.

Levi can’t believe what he just did. He let you kiss him?! What the hell was he thinking? Was he actually out of his mind? Of all the people there, why did it have to be you? All you ever did was annoy him with your stupid face and stupid and arrogant attitude.

But as he continues standing there after you had just walked out, he can’t help but want to go after you and apologize. He can’t help but want to tell you that he was just nervous and excited and that he didn’t know what to do and that he actually did want to kiss you.

Your lips were warm and soft and even though it was a moment, your kiss made him feel safe. Your kiss had him melting, wanting more. More of the kiss and more of you.

•••

It was freezing. Levi should have gone back to his room and tried to light a fire again and cover himself with his blankets and gone to sleep but his mind was too busy with thoughts.

Thoughts of you.

His eyes fluttered closed for a moment as he leaned on the fence outside his room’s porch, breathing in the crisp midnight breeze. In his head, vivid images of your lips on his invaded his mind. A pink blush crept on his cheeks as he recalled the exhilarating feeling of your lips on his. He hastily shook his head; he didn’t want to give into that feeling. He was falling for you and he was falling hard. He had to get his head straight.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to push away thoughts of you, he walked back into his room and tried to light a fire again. His stupid clumsy hands couldn’t light the stupid fire and was getting annoyed. His mind jumped to an outrageous idea: what if he just visited your room so he could just use the fireplace there instead of wasting his time trying to use his? Was he just using that as an excuse to go visit your room? Of course not. It would be such a waste of matches if he lit his own fire. And, of course, he wouldn’t want to waste his matches…

Levi felt ridiculous. What the hell was he doing, standing in front of your door in the middle of the night and knocking? Was he that desperate to see you he had to come find you in the middle of the night? And what was that dumb excuse of using your fireplace for heat to come see you?

“Levi?” you raised an eyebrow in confusion when you opened the door. “What’re you doing here?”

His eyes immediately looked you up and down, admiring your figure as you stood there in your nightgown, waiting for him to answer you.

“Captain,” he spoke, at a loss of what to say. “Um, well it’s a little cold…”

“Yeah.”

“A-And I was trying to make a fire, but I couldn’t.”

“Okay.”

“So I thought maybe—maybe you had a fire going in your room.” he sounded awkward and rigid. God, why was he struggling to get words out that made sense? He was already mortified enough he came knocking at your door in the middle of the night, but he was even more mortified when he noticed the way you look. Your nightgown was thin, almost see through, and he could see the curve of your breasts through it, your nipples peeking out from the thin material.

“Well, as you can see,” you opened the door slightly wider and showed him your fireplace. “I do have a fire going.”

“That’s what I thought,” he paused, trying to decide how he wanted to ask if he could come in. No matter how much he thought about it in the mere second he hesitated, there was no good way to ask. No matter how he would word it, he’d sound desperate and obvious that he just wanted to come in and see you.

“You already said that.”

He decided to just rip off the bandaid; he already looked pathetic showing up at your room, there was no point in pretending anymore. “Do you mind if I come in? For the… for the fire? It’s a little cold.” he sheepishly asked, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. Jeez, he felt like such a loser.

Until now, he didn’t see you show any sort of reaction or emotion to him knocking on your door, until now.

You tilted your head in amusement, a smirk growing on your face. “Oh? Are you sure that’s the only reason you want to come in, captain?” you teased, leaning down slightly to meet his eyes.

Levi’s eyes couldn’t help but wander down to your cleavage, the cut of your dress was low and exposed you. “What other reason would I have?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you feigned innocence. But if someone saw us, they could assume you’re here for something else besides just wanting to warm up…” you told him mischievously, your eyes checking the hallway for anyone. His eyes bulged and his breath caught in his throat, unable to come up with a response.

“I’m joking,” you break the silence, crossing your arms and smiling at his response. When Levi wasn’t lecturing you or yelling at you, he was cute. “Come in.” he walked in silently, choosing to sit on a chair as you sat on your bed.

“So what brings you to my room at this hour?”

He didn’t want to outright say it was because he wanted to see you, but he wanted to see you. “I’m sorry,” he began. “About earlier. I panicked, so that’s why I pushed you away.”

“No worries, there’s no need to apologize. I wasn’t mad.”

That was it? Levi was overthinking and worried that he had upset you, but you brushed it off like it was no big deal.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Was that all you needed?”

“Um,” he’s trying to think of something else to say—something else to say, so that he won’t have to leave (really so that you won’t kick him out and he has an excuse to stay), but his mind has been blurry since he stepped foot into your room. He is nervous: hands clammy and shaky, breathing uneven and louder than usual, and eyes struggling to meet yours.

“You look like you want to kiss me.”

“What?! No, I don’t!”

“Oh yeah? Then why do you keep looking at my lips?” you questioned.

He didn’t realize his eyes kept running back to your lips. He stands up abruptly, heading for the door in embarrassment. Levi reaches for the door, stepping forward to walk out. When he’s halfway out the door, he panics, quickly backing into your room, but he bumps into you.

“What’re you—” you had originally stood up to watch him leave and close the door when he backs into your space. You get a whiff of his hair, it smells subtle and clean.

“Shit,” he slams the door and turns around. “I saw someone in the hallway.”

“And?” you look down into his eyes, panic rising in them.

“What would people think if they saw me walking out of your room in the middle of the night?” he nervously says, fidgeting with his hands in front of him, his back pressed against your bedroom door as he looks into your eyes.

“Well,” you start. “Why are you really here anyways? Is it actually because you’re cold? Or is it something more?” your tone sounds suggestive.

“You’ve misunderstood.” he speaks, his voice barely a whisper and his eyes lingering on your lips.

“Did I?” you reply, your eyes dropping down to his lips. He licks them unconsciously, almost leaning in.

“Yes, I don’t like you that way.” a total lie.

“You don’t like me?” you smile and lean closer to him. He stands there firmly, his nose brushing against yours as he finally looks up into your eyes.

“Not at all.” he doesn’t even bother to try and hide the fact he’s lying.

“Then why do you keep staring at my lips? You look like you wanna kiss me.” you told him again.

“No,” he inhales sharply, his breathing uneven as he moves his mouth dangerously closer to yours.

“So what? You hate me?”

“Yes,” he leans in, pressing his lips against yours. His lips are still against yours for a moment before he pulls away, cheeks red and eyes droopy. “I hate you.”

Maybe it was because your room was warm and cozy and inviting, or maybe because it was late at night and he was just desperate and lonely, but kissing you had Levi feeling shaky and nervous but excited. Your lips were warm and soft against his and he found himself wanting to press his body against yours in an attempt to be closer to you.

He had tried so hard to suppress his desires to be with you, to be near you, to want you. But the walls he forcefully put up were crumbling so easily with a simple kiss from you.

He leans in again, this time more aggressive and desperate. You smile into the kiss—he had no idea what he was doing. But the fact that he was so desperate and wanted more so badly he was willing to make a move himself had you feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. You pull away, his lips searching for yours as you do.

“Gentle now, captain.” you whisper. It felt as if he was in a rush when there was no need for that.

Your hand gently came up to his cheek, softly touching his skin. He leans into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed. It was like he was under a spell: he was so quiet and so desperate, it wasn’t like the usual Levi.

“Still hate me?” you joke.

His eyes open. This time, they’re no longer empty. His eyes are soft, focused on yours, hopeful of what is to come next.

“Yes.”

“I like you, too.” you lean in, kissing him slowly and gently. Your hands snake through his hair, tilting his head slightly to gain better access to his lips. His arms wrap around your neck, pulling you closer to him as he presses his body up against yours. His back is pressed up against the door, and you can feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt causing you to smile into the kiss. He quickly becomes breathless, pulling away from you, his lips hovering over yours.

As quickly as he pulls away, he pushes himself into you again, longing for more. You kiss him back, your tongue lightly licking at his mouth, asking for permission. He hesitantly opens his mouth into the kiss. Kissing him makes you feel as if you’re drunk. It’s so addicting and so satisfying it makes you want more. You lick inside his mouth, your fingers tightly gripping the roots of his hair. You pull away, your fingers grabbing his hair and tugging on it and forcing him to look into your eyes. He breathes heavily, his eyelids barely open and lips glistening wet.

“Kiss me more,” he breathes.

“Why should I?” you tease.

“I want—no, need more of you.”

“If you want me that bad, beg for it.”

You wanted Levi to beg for it?! As if he wasn’t already embarrassed enough, you were going to make him beg for more? Did he look that desperate you thought you could make him beg for it and he’d pull through and actually do it? There was no way he was going to do that. Absolutely not. He’d rather—

“Please,” he automatically said. Even though his head was telling him not to, his heart wouldn’t listen. His hands run down your back and wrap around your waist. You can feel the warmth of his hands through your nightgown, his hands rubbing at your hips soothingly.

“Hmm?” you pretend you have no idea what he’s talking about. He leans into your side, his breath tickling your ear as he breathes in the scent of your hair. The hands on your hips pull you towards him, his hips pressing against yours, the pressure causing him to twitch in his pants.

“Come on,” he whispers as he tries to control his breathing. He felt unsteady, his breath uneven as he held himself back. “Don’t make me beg.”

He’s embarrassed. “Guess you don’t like me enough to beg,” you shrug, letting him go and crossing the room to sit on your bed.

Levi stays at your door for a moment, debating whether or not he wants to give into your desires. When his hand comes up to lock your bedroom door knob, you smirk. He makes his way over to where you’re sitting, politely kneeling down in front of you. He looks up at you through his strands of hair, his usual sharp eyes looking round and soft like a puppy.

“Please,” he says again. “Tell me what to do.” his hands come up to grab your shins, his fingers sneaking underneath your dress and caressing your skin gently. His slender hands make their way up to your knees and he tentatively lifts your nightgown to leave a loving kiss on your knee.

He looks back up to see you staring down at him, a playful smirk painted on your face. You can’t help but smile at the fact that Levi was on his knees in front of you, so willing and eager to do whatever you wanted. He looked so submissive—his back slightly arched, shaky hands holding onto you, and voice whiny. You felt a throb in your core, taking a deep breath in an attempt to control yourself so you wouldn’t pounce on him right then and there.

“Come up here,” you whisper softly and he follows you immediately and crawls up the bed, his legs straddling your lap as he nervously sits on top of you.

Your hands come up to squeeze his thighs, his muscles tensing as soon as you do. He wraps his hands around your neck, pulling you closer to him as your eyes move to his neck. You imagine he would look good with hickies. So you lean in, leaving a small kiss on his neck. After a few small kisses, you can’t help but nibble on his skin, biting the sensitive area and sucking on his soft skin. He reacts quickly, pulling you closer to himself and pushing your head into his neck. It is faint and quiet, but a small moan escapes his lips and his hand comes up to immediately cover his mouth.

You wanted to hear more. As your tongue traces his skin and as you start leaving marks on his neck, his head tilts back in pleasure, whimpers beginning to leave his pretty lips. He bites down on his bottom lip, gulping as he tries his hardest to stay quiet. But the more he whimpers, the harder you suck on his skin, and he can’t help but start rocking his hips involuntarily.

“Hnghh,” he whines, his hips rocking against your thighs, desperate for some friction. Your hands move from his thighs up to his ass, grabbing it and squeezing shamelessly as his hips rock faster.

You pull away from him, cupping his ass one more as he whimpers in pleasure. Levi looks down at you, eyes dropping down to your lips as he leans in and licks at your mouth. This time the kiss is sloppy, rushed, and impatient. The more time that passes between the both of you, the more desperate you become. You bite down on his bottom lip, aggressively pulling him into you as you kiss him harder.

“Haaa,” he pulls away breathlessly, his rocking hips slowing down. “I’ve run out of patience.”

“I noticed.”

“I want it so badly. I want you so badly. P-please,” he huffs.

“Have a little more patience, Levi.” you stroke his cheek tenderly. “We’ve got the whole night.”

He blushes, his hands coming up to reach for the first button on his shirt. “It’s a little hot in here,” his hands tremble, failing to undo his button.

You smirk, watching him nervously try to undress. “Trying to give me a show?”

“Stop-stop teasing me,” he pouts, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his chest. “Undress me.” he demands.

“Whatever you say, captain.” your skillful fingers work at his shirt buttons, easily undoing them and pulling his shirt off for him. He’s slender but muscular, and when your eyes admire his figure, you spot his hardened erection through his pants. He doesn’t bother to cover it up out of embarrassment, instead, choosing to grab your hand and guide it to where he really wants it.

You start gently rubbing him through the cloth, his hips slowly, rocking against the friction of your hands. You were surprised he seemed so open about what he wanted—you had thought he was going to be shyer. You stroked his hard dick through the thin material of his pants, his head leaning into the crook of your neck. He breathes in and out slowly, trying to keep his composure but it slowly begins to fade the more aroused he grows because of you.

He whimpers, his hips slowing down to a stop. “I’m ready for more,” he whispers against your ear and climbs off of you, grabbing you on top of him as he lies on the mattress.

“Hmm,” you begin, your fingers slowly undoing his pants. “How many people have you been with, Levi?” you asked innocently, your hands tugging at his pants. He lifts his hips up, allowing you to slip off his pants and underwear. His hardened cock lies against his flat stomach, glistening with his pre-cum.

“Not many,” he answers. “I don’t have a lot of experience.” he continues shyly and looks away in embarrassment.

“Cute,” you grab him, your hand stroking him from his shaft to his tip. You lean over him, sticking out your tongue and letting saliva drip onto his tip, making sure to maintain eye contact with him. His eyes widen, surprised at what you’re doing but pleasured. Your saliva coats him, allowing you to more easily stroke him, your thumb circling over his tip. His hips automatically thrust upwards into your hand, his own hands gripping the bed sheets. You feel him twitch in your hands, smirking to yourself as you bring your mouth down to him once more.

Levi’s mind is hazy and his judgment is clouded. It’s like he’s under a spell from you, he desires so much from you and is so willing to do absolutely anything for you to fulfill those desires. His head tilts downwards to watch you, your eyes hungry and determined. He can’t help but whimper even though you haven’t gone down on him completely, he is just desperate for anything at this point. He watches you smack his cock on the tip of your tongue playfully, your hand expertly stroking his shaft. He moans, making sure to cover his mouth so that nobody else hears but you.

His eyes are still trained on yours though, watery as tears begin to fill his eyes. He feels your mouth take in all of his length, sucking him in as your hands massage his thighs. He feels you forcefully spread his legs wider, and his cheeks heat up. If it weren’t for the low lighting in the room, he would collapse from embarrassment. It was something about him splayed out on your bed, legs spread open by your hands that had him feeling a little too exposed and humiliated. Strangely, he liked it. He enjoyed being underneath you, allowing you to do whatever you desired with his body.

There was something about Levi in tears, whining and whimpering for more underneath you that had you shaking in excitement. His whimpers were like music to your ears and all you wanted in the moment was to hear more of it. He wasn’t afraid to hold back how good he was feeling and it made you want to please him even more. You took him in your mouth once more, your tongue swirling over his sensitive tip. His hips can’t help but thrust again, and you hold him down, pushing down on his thighs with your hands. You come back up, your mouth leaving a string of saliva as you pull away from him. He already looks out of breath, his forehead slightly glistening with sweat as he struggles to catch his breath.

“You look like you need some relief,” you tease, crawling up to straddle him. You begin lifting your dress to take it off, and his eyes immediately drift to your breasts. He watches you undress in silence, choosing to quietly admire you from a distance.

He chuckles quietly, his hands grabbing at your thighs. He rubs up and down at your skin, his eyes focused on yours. “You look like you want to sit on my face,” he replies.

“I think you’re the one who wants me to,” you smirk, moving to hover over his face. You catch a glimpse of excitement and arousal in his eyes.

“I do,” he confesses. “I want to taste you so bad,” he continues, biting down on his bottom lip. “Please—please let me.”

“Well, since you seem so desperate.” you smile, grabbing the headboard in front of you as he grabs you, forcefully sitting you on top of his face.

His tongue immediately comes up to lick you, and he moans. His hands snake back to grab your ass, pushing you further onto his mouth as he struggles to find your clit. You chuckle, angling your hips and thrusting in his face so that your clit gets the stimulation you need. You begin to ride his face, your hips aggressively thrusting as he moans into you. You wonder if he’s struggling to breathe, so you pull away a bit, but he pulls you back into him, his hands squeezing your ass cheeks as he laps at your pussy, whimpering in pleasure. You pull away, his face shining with your wetness and cheeks rosy.

“Not bad,” you tell him, grabbing his chin with your hands. “Now it’s time to open up, captain.” your fingers ghost over his lips and he automatically opens them, taking in your two fingers. His tongue is warm and wet and swirls around your fingers as his eyes close in pleasure. He moans against your fingers as you shove them deeper into his mouth, making sure to coat them in his saliva. When you pull them out, you bring your fingers to your wetness, rubbing at your entrance.

“Fuck,” he whispers, his hand coming up to stroke his dick as he watches you tease yourself. He moans again, watching as you rub your clit, your fingers teasing yourself once more as you insert a finger into yourself. You moan, thrusting into your own fingers and Levi strokes himself faster, captivated by you.

“Please,” he starts, tapping your thigh with his hand politely. Cute. “Fuck me, please. I need you so bad. Please, please fuck me.” he desperately asks, his eyes tearing up once again.

“Oh? How badly do you want it?” you hover over him, rubbing your clit on his dick, your hips slowly grinding against him.

“Ahh,” he moans and grabs your hips and presses you onto his cock. “Please… please ride me. I want you to fuck me so badly, please.” a tear slides down his cheek, more tears swelling in his beautiful eyes.

You feel yourself throb as you hover over him, patience thin. You push yourself into him, taking in his cock and throwing your head back in pleasure. You tighten around him and feel him throb inside of you. You bite down on your lip to contain your moans, making sure to keep quiet. Levi, however, was the total opposite. He was so aroused and so desperate and so turned out it was like he had completely forgotten that the walls were thin and it was late at night and people were trying to sleep. He was moaning loudly, tears escaping his eyes as he cried out to you in pleasure. He was thrusting upwards into you, frantic for some friction. His hands were gripping his bedsheets once again as he fucked himself into you, whimpers escaping his pretty lips.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as you bounced on top of him, taking in his dick. “People are going to hear you if you don’t quiet down.” you warned, leaning down to get closer to his face.

“Hnngh, I’m sorry,” he whispers, tilting his chin up for a kiss. You give in, sloppily kissing him as he opens his mouth to let you in, moaning into your mouth as his hips begin thrusting faster. You pull away from him, breathless as your hand sneaks down to rub your clit. He pulls you into him, holding you close as his hand strokes your hair lovingly. You feel him breathe against your ear, whimpering in pleasure as you continue to ride him. You feel yourself growing closer, so you begin to ride him faster as his moans grow louder in volume.

“H-Harder,” he breathes. “Please fuck me harder.” he pleads and you oblige, your hips speeding up along with his thrusts. He’s more vocal now, whining your name and moaning as if there isn’t somebody sleeping right next door.

“Haaa,” he sighs, face flushed and hips struggling to keep up. He throws his head back against the pillows, panting in pleasure and hands coming up to grab your thighs, fucking himself harder into you. You feel the familiar knot in your stomach, your pussy squeezing down on him as you rub yourself, hips stuttering as a wave of pleasure takes over and you cum, toes curling and holding onto his hands that grab at yours. When he feels you cum on him, he whimpers and bucks into you, unable to hold himself back any longer. You pull yourself off of him and he moans, his cum spurting out and landing on his stomach. His face is flushed and he’s out of breath; he looked beautiful.

His eyes bore into yours, and it is silent in the room except for the sound of both of you catching your breath. As you come down from your high, you climb off of him, your legs trembling. Levi immediately sits up, grabbing your shoulder gently to sit you back down.

“I’ll help clean up,” he assures you, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

After the two of you clean up in silence, he wonders if you are going to let him stay there, or kick him out. Now that the two of you have given in to your desires to have sex, what now? Should he confess his feelings to you now that he’s realized them, or wait for you to say something? What if you just thought tonight was nothing more than a no strings attached sex? His heart sank at the idea. He didn’t want that at all. He wanted to be with you. He wanted to be yours. Watching you finish changing your bed sheets, he awkwardly crosses the room to stand next to you.

“Um,” he starts, and you stop what you’re doing to look at him. “Do you need help? With—with your sheets..?”

“No, as you can see, I’m done.” you gesture to your made bed.

“O-Oh,” he pauses, nervous and unsure of what to say.

You look at him, watching him rub the back of his neck out of anxiety and awkwardness. “Levi,” you start.

“Captain,” he automatically responds.

“Do you like me?”

His eyes widen and he appears to be taken back. “Uh, I—Yes. I… I thought it was obvious.”

“You never actually said it. I was the only one to confess.” you point out.

“Oh.” here it was. Here was the moment he had to pour out his feelings and confess his love for you. The only thing was, he was so horrible with words.

“Um,” he starts. How many times has he said that already? Jeez, he felt so stupid and nervous and embarrassed. “At first—I thought I hated you. I thought you were a horrible captain and bad at your job and annoying and a terrible dancer and I also thought you talked way too much and sometimes it would give me a headache and you’re also really cocky, but—” he stopped himself. Why was he insulting you? He was supposed to confess his feelings and all he did was start insulting you? What the hell was wrong with him?

“S-Sorry. I’m sorry. What I’m trying to say is—I… I like you. A lot. And… and, if you—I would like to be yours. All yours.” he pouted, disappointed in his confession of love.

You smile, pulling him into a sweet kiss. “Well, you could’ve just said so, captain.”

•••

“Did you hear?” you overheard Armin whisper quite loudly to his friends as you sit a couple tables away from them in the dining hall with Levi. He was drinking tea as you munched on a sandwich.

“He confessed his feelings to her! Captain Levi?! Can you believe that? I always thought he hated her!” he said excitedly, hitting Eren’s arm.

“Please, she’s out of his league.” Jean pointed out sourly, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

You thought you were the only one listening in on them, but when you look over to Levi, he’s smirking in victory after hearing what Jean said.

“How do you know that?” Mikasa asks Armin.

“Hange said she saw Levi walking into her room a couple nights ago around midnight,” he begins. “And she said they were loud! Especially captain Levi!”

You eye Levi, and as soon as he hears what Armin says, he spits out his tea, coughing as his eyes widen in embarrassment. You laugh, rubbing his back to soothe him.

“I warned you that someone would hear.” you tease.

“That shithead Hange—” he coughs again, his face turning red. “Shut up, you brat.”

•••

a/n: thank you sm for reading! i didn’t mean for it to be this long lmao

m.list

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heartpascal · 1 year

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weight too heavy to hold alone

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: joel’s life in jackson is much more complicated than he thought it would be

▹— a/n: HEY. im not back just yet but thought i’d drop in to give yall this idk!! just something ive been working on between revision yk. hope you enjoy!

▹— warnings: angst, references to death of a child, references to past trauma (very brief, very vague reference, barely there), comparisons to dead daughter (but IS written as gender neutral i think, just behaviour wise), feeling unwanted and unloved

▹— tags: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

MASTERLIST

howl’s song recs

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It was meant to be a temporary thing, that was what Tommy had told Joel. It was the whole reason he had agreed, the whole reason he had relented to having you in his new home, sharing a room with Ellie just down the hall from his own.

Joel should’ve known, really. His and his brother’s versions of temporary were incredibly different, much like night and day, water and oil, hot and cold. Where Joel’s idea of temporary was a few days, at most, Tommy’s was, apparently, a couple of months. But what could he do? You were already here, already settled in on your side of Ellie’s room, with a mattress upon the floor and the bag filled with your things set beside it.

The first few days, Joel had been so on edge he couldn’t sleep, waiting for the moment Ellie made a peep, made the slightest inclination of being uncomfortable in your presence. He was half waiting for you to full-blown attack the two of them, after all, it wouldn’t have been the first time such things had happened to him and Ellie.

But you never did.

Your presence eventually became so… quiet that it was unnoticeable. You would leave the house before Joel and Ellie even thought about waking up, and would only return when they were either busy eating dinner, or already fast asleep in bed. It seemed like you did your absolute best to avoid the two of them.

It was only when he jumped up from his dozing, hearing the faint murmur of Ellie’s voice down the hall, that he clocked on to your presence again. Perhaps it was wrong, morally, for Joel to have crept down the hallway, shiv clutched in an untrusting hand, but who could’ve blamed him? He had done everything in his power to protect Ellie for a long time, by then. And he’d agree that you were young, that he was too harsh, but he’d already lost a daughter once. He wasn’t keen to go through that again.

The shared laughter was what stopped his hand from reaching towards the doorknob. It was quiet, and suddenly Joel was back in his thirties, listening to Sarah and her friends snicker and whisper in her bedroom, the door slightly ajar just to appease him. It had been nearing midnight, back then, Sarah’s birthday coming to a close, and it had also been the first time he had allowed her to have girls and boys over.

He blinked, and came back to the reality of where he was, of what he was holding, of who was on the other side of the door. Joel had only listened for a moment longer, another shared giggle making the tension slide from his shoulders, and it wasn’t long before he was back in his own room, door ajar, shoving the shiv underneath flannels in a shoddy chest of drawers.

Joel could remember that it wasn’t too long after that night that you had joined him and Ellie for dinner, for the very first time. It had been an awkward affair, and it reminded him of the first few times he and Ellie had shared a proper meal together in their new home. You were vaguely uncomfortable the entire time, shooting Ellie looks that you didn’t know he had noticed. Her only response was a snicker, though Joel would’ve guessed from the thunk underneath the table that you had placed a well-aimed kick against her shin.

Still, after dinner, you spoke to him for one of the first times. There had been the introduction when Tommy had brought you over, of course, but this was willing on your end. “Thank you,” You had told him, though didn’t make eye contact. “For dinner, and well, yeah.”

He had nodded at you, a tense smile on his lips, but it was a friendly gesture. Or, as friendly of a gesture as Joel could muster. He remembers the way you had scurried up the stairs almost immediately after, having stuck around only to help clean up and give your thanks.

You started joining them for dinner more after that, though Joel had the suspicion that the first half a dozen times were at Ellie’s command. But with time, and some patience, you warmed up to him just as you had to Ellie. You spoke more, asked more questions, even cracked a few jokes that he was sure you had gotten from one of Ellie’s books. It surprised him how… relieved he was to see the break in your awkwardness.

It had been the first time Joel had seen you with Tommy outside of when he had dropped you at his and Ellie’s that he realised you had a lot more warming up to do than he had thought. There you were, walking at Tommy’s side, chatting animatedly, hands flying around in gestures, face lit up like Joel had never seen before, and all the while Tommy only shook his head, fond smile on his face. There was a certain warmth on Tommy’s face that Joel had only seen when his little brother had been looking at his newborn child, and he couldn’t help but wonder why he had dropped you off at Joel’s if he felt that way? If he saw you as his own?

He tried to ask him those very questions more than once, but each time he found himself somewhat afraid of the answer he’d receive. Joel knew his little brother had always looked up to him, after all, that tends to happen when you practically raise the kid, but after everything… Joel found that he didn’t think he could live up to Tommy’s expectations of him any longer. Maybe, even if Joel would never admit it out loud, he didn’t want to see Tommy realise he couldn’t live up to the idealised version of himself his little brother saw him as.

It was already hard enough with having Ellie — the weight of everything he had lied to her about was tangible, an iron fence putting distance between the two of them. He tried to ignore it. Ellie did, too, but the truth was that she had lost some amount of trust in him. He saw it in the crease of her brows when they spoke, the slant of her lips when he left for patrol, hell — even in the way her gaze changed when she looked at him. It was like she saw somebody she didn’t quite recognise.

Joel felt like he was fighting a losing battle. He’d steel himself before dinners, he’d harden his features before coming home from patrols, he’d even lock himself in his little studio. And yet each time he saw you, there was an unmistakeable softness brought to his features, reminiscent of how it felt to look at Ellie. Each time you would come to him for help, he’d remind himself that he couldn’t be the person that everybody needed him to be. He’d remind himself that he would never — could never — be the person you so clearly wanted him to be.

Because it was more than obvious. Joel wasn’t blind, even if his sight wasn’t what it used to be. He could see it in the way you looked to him for help, in the way you’d heed his advice like you never doubted he could be wrong about something. It was clear in the way you looked at him, like he had the ability to carve the world into whatever he desired, like he possessed a strength you didn’t. You looked at him as if he could save you, and the truth was that Joel couldn’t even save himself.

He was an old man, a foolish man. Joel drowned in guilt he had brought upon himself, liquid a kind of heaviness that settled into his aged lungs. When he looked at you, he saw Sarah. He saw the resemblance in the way the both of you looked out for him — where Sarah had often cooked breakfast, you scraped together some form of dinner when he was on a late patrol, where Sarah had forced vitamin-rich drinks into his hand, you placed painkillers — that must’ve cost a fortune to trade for — on the kitchen counter when he hurt his knee on a patrol. He saw it in the way you looked up to him, the way you believed in him, and it’s like a mirror image of the night his life went to ruin. A reflection of his daughter dying in his arms each time you looked to him for safety.

What could he provide? What could Joel provide that Tommy couldn’t? Hell — that anybody couldn’t? Perhaps, he wondered, the guarantee of disappointment.

“So,” Tommy started one night, sat by his side at the small bar in town, eyebrows raised as he held a glass of twenty-two year old bourbon. “How’s life with the kid? Handlin’ two kids?”

Joel vividly remembers his response, despite his lowered tolerance for alcohol and the multitude of glasses he’d had that night. “You ever gonna get that kid a new place? Not my responsibility to look after your goddamn strays, y’know.” His voice had been gruff, harsh. He thinks, looking back on it, that it digs the pit of regret in his stomach deeper.

“They givin’ you trouble, or something?” Tommy had asked, all furrowed eyebrows then, an expression of something close to disbelief on his face. “Been a good kid, as long as I’ve known ‘em.”

“They’re a good kid, alright, just not my kid.” Joel had replied, scornfully. It was a low blow, he knew now, but he could remember the pounding in his chest, blood rushing through his ears, when he heard you yell out one night. It had been a bad dream, not that you’d admit to it, but Joel was familiar. He could’ve sworn his heart was going to stop that night, the way adrenaline rushed through him, the way he had leaped from his bed as if expecting to have to defend you and Ellie from an onslaught of attackers.

Tommy scoffed in response, and he had averted his eyes, looking away from his older brother as he took a sip of the alcohol that was warming his veins. “Y’know what? I’ll get ‘em a new place, and when it breaks their goddamn heart, I’ll let ‘em know the reason why you wanted them out. Not my kid.” Tommy had shaken his head, and had bid him goodnight soon after. Joel remembers drowning the sting the conversation left him with using decades-old booze.

Now, Joel can pretty confidently say that Tommy hadn’t been looking to get you a new place until that conversation. It wasn’t more than a few weeks after that that you came home with a frown marred across your face, returning much later from canteen-duty than usual. He had been walking to the hall to grab his boots when you had gotten in.

Your expression had only deepened further as you practically stomped into the house, kicking your unlaced boots off in the hallway. “You alright, kiddo?” Joel had asked, brows creased, and he remembers the way the movement reminded him of his younger brother.

“’M fine.” You had muttered out, all stormy expression and blunt words. Joel only tilted his head at you. “Tommy stopped by, said they’re gettin’ me a new place across town. Nearby the school.” You had told him, and your expression was almost hopeful as you waited for his response.

“Oh,” Joel had uttered, expression blank for a moment as he nodded his head, almost mindlessly. “Well, that’s good, right?” He responded, eyes studying you almost cautiously. If he hadn’t been looking, he probably would’ve missed the way your face dropped at his response, as if you had been hoping for him to say something else. Instead, you had let out a quiet scoff, before stomping away with a ‘sure’ said lamely back to him. Joel had looked after you, face plastered with confusion, but his mind had known, even back then, the reason for your disdain. Instead of going after you, of saying anything more on the matter, Joel had foolishly just wiped a hand across his face, and had murmured, “Teenagers.”

For the days after that, you seemed withdrawn but hopeful, as if Joel would finally voice what you had been waiting to hear. He didn’t see much of Ellie, who had made more friends her own age, including some girls named Dina and Cat. Apparently, you weren’t in on that friendship. Which had left you at the house with him, the crease between your brows getting deeper each time things remained silent.

Still, Joel was firm. This was what was meant to happen all along. You were never meant to be a permanent fixture of their lives.

So when the day was finally upon them, Joel accompanied you and his younger brother to your new place, carrying your backpack over one of his shoulders. He had tried to ignore the itchy, uncomfortable feeling in his chest.

“It’s a nice place.” Joel had commented, when the silence stretched for far too long, looking around the studio-like bungalow. It was a converted garage, much like what Ellie was going to have in his back yard, whenever the team could help Joel finish converting it. He was almost surprised when Tommy brought them here, however. For whatever reason, Joel hadn’t thought about the fact that you’d be living alone.

“Yeah, it’s great.” You responded flatly, picking at the cover on what was meant to be your new bed almost absently. Joel dropped your backpack beside the door, nodding his head as he took it all in. You tried not to scoff. “You know Joel, I think it’d be better for me to settle in. Alone.” You said, voice just a step away from miserable, expression blank as you looked at him, at the way he nodded his head, seemingly resigned to this conclusion.

“Sure thing, kid.” Joel sighed out, looking back in when he was stood in the doorway. He tapped his knuckles against the doorframe, opening his mouth to say something, but stopping before anything came out. Instead, he had just nodded, leaving with his hands in his pockets.

He returned to a quiet house, Ellie once again somewhere in town with Dina and Cat, having missed your moving day. Joel quickly found that the silence, the emptiness in the house, was uncomfortable. He hadn’t truly realised just how used to your presence he had gotten. Still, this was for the best. Joel didn’t need another kid on his hands. He’d failed more than once, and that was telling enough. He still couldn’t figure out why Tommy had brought you to him in the first place!

Joel didn’t see you for two days afterwards, though he had asked about you, cornering Tommy and demanding to know how you were settling in. It was unsettling when Tommy had only shrugged, expression harsh and unforgiving.

When he finally did see you again, it was at the Tipsy Bison, where he was sipping at amber liquid, waiting for his younger brother to finish talking to someone down the other end of the bar. “Joel!” You called out, immediately drawing his attention. He stood from the stool he had been sat on, brows creased in concern, drink abandoned on the wooden bar top.

“Everythin’ alright?” He asked, confused and concerned all at once.

“No!” You yelled immediately, seemingly outraged by his question, your features practically collapsing in on themselves. You pointed an accusatory finger at him, and he didn’t miss the way your hands trembled. “You asked them to move me!” You accused, and Joel quickly realised that this was the first time he had seen you outwardly upset. Every other time, your expression had been made of stone, voice cautiously flat. Now, here, your features were like clay, looking as if you had reshaped them over and over, trying to resist the slant of sadness that took over them. There was a distinctive gloss across your eyes, shining and trembling as you tried to force the tears away. “Admit it, Joel! You wanted me gone and you didn’t have the guts to tell me.”

Joel sighed, rubbing his fingers across his brows, pinching at the bridge of his nose. He glared across the bar at where Tommy was observing, false innocence on his face. He was quick to notice that Tommy wasn’t the only one watching, eyes on the two of you as you waited for his response expectantly. “Kid, it was always a temporary thing. You knew that.” He said, hands on his hips as he shifted his stance.

Clearly, that wasn’t the response you wanted to hear, your features falling further, crumpling downwards, and Joel frowned. “It’s not fair.” You said, voice breaking off halfway through, and you swiped your sleeve across your nose, rubbing tears away from your eyes with your fingertips.

“Life ain’t fair, kid, that’s the truth of it.” Joel responded, looking at your face as if your expression held answers to a question he hadn’t asked. “I’m sorry. But you got your own life now, your own place, you can live however you want. Doesn’t sound like a bad deal to me.”

“I don’t want any of it.” You told him, brows furrowed, the crease between them so deep that Joel was sure it was going to become a permanent fixture of your face. His own frown deepened when you blinked and tears marred your cheeks. “It’s not fair,” You repeated, hand outstretched as if you were reaching for him. “Why do I have to be alone?” You asked, and Joel’s face fell, clearly not expecting that question.

Tommy chose that moment to intervene, stepping in between you and Joel, glancing back at his older brother before focusing his full attention on you. He murmured words that Joel could only presume were reassurance. Joel noticed Tommy’s guiding hand on your shoulder as he led you out of the bar, neither of you glancing back. He ignored the stares on him as he turned back to the bar, finished his drink, and left, going home.

He encountered the two of you just down the street, sharing quiet words that seemed harsh even from a distance. Joel thought about turning back, but found himself approaching cautiously.

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel repeated his earlier question, hands outstretched when the two of you turned to him, the setting sun throwing a shade of orange across both of your faces. You openly glared at him, eyes squinted in a show of unrelenting anger, or maybe, more accurately, hurt.

“Go back inside, Joel.” Tommy told him, sounding nothing short of exasperated between dealing with you and dealing with Joel. He sounded tired, too. “Better yet, go home!”

“Listen,” Joel sighed, trying to reach some form of a truce. You cut him off when he opened his mouth to continue.

“No, Joel, Tommy’s right. Go home. I’ve heard enough.” You said, almost scoldingly, and Joel felt as if he was talking to Sarah again, as if it was her telling him off for something. He tried not to think of that last night, of the cake he’d forgotten, of the watch she’d gifted him, but a glance down it said watch reminded him of his failures. “I’m not your kid, remember?” You reminded him, throwing the words he’d said to his brother back in his face. At least this time, Tommy had the idea to look somewhat guilty for telling you that tidbit of information.

Joel frowned at you, cursing himself for his past words. He didn’t want to hurt you. Hell, that was the whole reason he wanted you gone! Joel was trying to protect you from him, from his inevitable failure. He had never really considered that perhaps this was his failure, that perhaps isolating you to a garage apartment on the other side of town was him failing you.

You stared at him, feeling that bricked up wall around your heart reforming, a promise in the back of your mind forming, a promise that said you wouldn’t let yourself be hurt again. “Go home.” You repeated, the words bitter on your tongue, a thought so sharp in your mind appearing that you physically flinched. Why couldn’t Joel understand? He was the only semblance of home you’d ever had, and he had taken that way from you. You thought that for once, you had found somewhere that you belonged, that you had found people who wanted you around, but you were wrong. Nobody wanted you around. At least that much was clear, at least you could be sure about that one thing.

When you had gone to Tommy all those months ago, your chest empty, tears staining your face, you hadn’t trusted his promise that Joel and Ellie would be good for you. You had been so determined to prove him wrong that you had avoided them, had fled the house more than once just to stay away from the two of them. It was horrible, at the start, it was suffocating. Living in a home that wasn’t yours, intruding on a father who wasn’t your own, a daughter who could never be your sister. To begin with, it had been the most isolated you had ever felt.

Up until that night that it all changed, where you and Ellie had laughed until you cried, sharing jokes and stories just to make one another laugh. It had taken a deeper turn from there, to sharing your experiences in the world that strived to end you. You told Ellie things that you had never told anyone, not even Tommy, certainly not Joel, and she had trusted you with things from her journey with Joel in return. Her voice was coloured with warmth when she spoke of him, though it got more despondent when she got to more recent events. Still, it was that very warmth that eventually caused you to relent to her dinner requests.

And then, finally, you had taken to joining them for dinner without being prompted.

You can remember speaking to Tommy about the two of them, about how things had started looking up, about how he may have been right about Joel and Ellie being good for you. Hell, you can remember seeing Joel from the corner of your eye as you told Tommy about becoming closer to Ellie, about a story she had told you.

Now, you wish Tommy would’ve just left you in the state you were pre-Joel and Ellie, because it would have been better than this. It was an all-encompassing ache that surpassed being purely physical. It bled poison deep into your soul, like acid crumbling the pieces of happiness that had begun to sew back together. It hurt. At least before, you knew that the pain wasn’t your fault, that it couldn’t have been. This pain, however, came from your very roots. You had been unequivocally you whilst with Joel and Ellie, and it had come back to bite you. You can’t help but wonder if, just maybe, you had kept to yourself, if you hadn’t immersed yourself in a life that didn’t belong to you, you would’ve avoided this pain. Because the reason Joel kicked you out was because it was you. That was the only explanation. After all, he kept Ellie around, and she wasn’t his kid in the same way you weren’t.

“Kid…”

“I’m not your kid, Joel. Go home and leave me alone. I don’t wanna say it again.” You responded, firm, voice bordering on trembling. Joel watched, with some amount of confusion, as you turned to Tommy, bearing your teeth at him like it would push him away. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

Tommy flinched as if the words were a physical blow, and you missed the betrayed look he gave Joel as you stormed away, walking with purpose towards your garage apartment, where you lived alone. Always alone. From this experience, you could safely say you were ready for it to stay that way.

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biibini · 9 months

Text

modern!mizu headcannons

a/n: my brain has been nothing but her so it’s ab time i write ab her. i’ve read a bunch of modern!mizu headcannons ab her but i need more !! it becomes a drabble at the end but my girl deserves peace and happiness pls

i’ve read a lot of hc w her in uni so i’ll prob stick to the similar things ive read + more

modern!mizu would def be in university studying mechanical engineering

ik this is specific but pls hear me out it fits bc shes a smartie & her adopted dad (master eiji) was a very technical person when she was growing up

she’s also in uni due to an engineering scholarship

modern!mizu is usually at the gym if it wasn’t for classes and fixing her bike

yes she has a motorcycle. i stand by this hc and many others who share similar ideas.

prob a kawasaki ninja but decked out w her own alternations

modern!mizu is a gym rat but is too stubborn to admit it, esp after taigen pointed it out once

likes to go in the early morning for the peace and quiet

she typically goes in for cardio and weights to keep her healthy and in shape but has dabbled in calisthenics before

taigen used to fence w her before he got into other sports such as basketball

(random thought but he just looks like he would play basketball player)

modern!mizu is very smart… but has a slight huge problem with procrastination

akemi has tried many studying techniques with mizu but it ends up her procrastinating and finishing alone

she prefers studying alone in the library or at her desk, until you came along

(ill elaborate on mizu & reader another time)

modern!mizu cannot cook for shit i’m sorry

she can kinda chef it up but it’s taken her a while she nearly burnt the kitchen and has repeatedly turned on the fire alarm and now ringo has ptsd

usually ringo will cook something or help her cook

speaking of ringo

her and ringo are roommates in off-campus housing 2 bed 2 bath

at first, dad eiji was a bit hesitant since he was helping mizu move in but warmed up to ringo once he cooked them dinner (his mom’s soba recipe)

mizu swears she saw a tear roll down her dad’s cheek that day

modern!mizu usually dresses more casually and comfy but still likes her dark blues

not to self indulge but she would like the baggy acubi look that she can move in

(i know this is so inaccurate of others’ headcannons but pls the baggy button up + slingbag combo would go crazy)

ik she got a uniqlo drawstring sling bag

or just any sporty crossbody sling bag

hear me out pls

it’s easier to get on and balance on her motorcycle with comfy clothes and a secure bag

on mizu’s and ringo’s move-in “anniversary” (as ringo like to call it), he got her a lil keychain for her bag with a jingle on it as a joke to her initial move-in gift to him: a bell for being so silent

modern!mizu usually keeps to herself and her friends

after her ex bf m*k*o (yes im censoring his name he doesnt deserve to be typed out) , she’s very cautious of who to trust

thankfully, ringo, akemi, and taigan (as much of an ass as he is) has taught her to open up and be okay with who she is

but there are days when she prefers to be alone and sticking to her own business in peace and quiet

headphones on locked in 🎧

modern!mizu likes to wind down before bed with some chamomile or lavender tea

her temper used to control her feelings, especially when she was much younger

having a small routine at night keeps her calm & well rested

eiji initially started this routine after their long days of welding in the backyard

she can’t cook but give her a teapot and tea leaves, she will make it right

(ok im done imagining her life lets get to the good stuff)

modern!mizu loves little touches

whether it’s holding u by ur hand or shoulder or waist, her hand will always be there

her main love language is physical touch

the more comfortable she gets with u, the longer she’ll leave her hand on u

whenever u and her are out at a party or gathering, u implemented the secret squeeze if either one of u wants to get out

u haven’t used it before but mizu did a few times

it was when she just wanted to be closer to u in the comfort of her own bed

modern!mizu enjoys shopping w u

she kind of knows her style: comfy and light

but she never explored how to pair clothes together until u showed her some basic pairing

when she first met akemi, she was uncomfortable with more feminine styles and shopping for going-out tops with her

it mainly stems from just not knowing a lot of trends and seeing a wide range of items

she got accustomed the items but seeing u have fun trying new tops

totally not sneaking into the changing room and stealing a few kisses many kisses

modern!mizu also enjoys holding ur things for u

she won’t say it explicitly but she is silently expressive ab it

u need someone to hold ur drink while u fix ur shoes? she got it. need someone to hold ur bag while u go to the bathroom? she got it.

need someone to get a glass of water even though ur all comfy in bed? she will get it (for a price aka some extra cuddles & kisses)

she’s also the type of put ur hand behind ur back when ur in a crowd

ok thats all for now but hope u enjoyed ♡

#mizu x reader #mizu bes #bes mizu #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu #modern au #mizu x you #mizu x y/n #mizu headcanons #mizu #headcanon #modern au fic #modern au mizu #blue eye samurai modern au #modern au blue eye samurai #modern mizu x reader

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starlightazriel · 3 months

Text

BAD BOY AZ FINAL PART <3 (I KNOW IM CRYING TOO)

warnings: FLUFF (you're welcome its not easy for me), smut, jealous az, childhood trauma effecting relationships(abandonment issues and overthinking everything), feeling unworthy, lots of time jumps

a/n: im sorry this took so long it shouldn't have because its short :( i struggled greatly. i just wanted to thank you guys for all the love ive received on this series, im just as sad as y'all but all good things must come to an end, i will eventually add additional drabbles for this series too and there's so many other things im working on rn, i hope y'all stick with me and read them i love you, requests are open. <3

additional parts can be found on my azriel masterlist

wc: 2.3k

"You know, I meant what I said the other night," Azriel says, leaning against the counter, his hands on either side of him. Y/n was sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen, her feet dangling as she sat on the counter, her hair was disheveled from sleep, hickeys covered over the one that Lucien had given her, Azriel couldn't bare to keep looking at it, so he'd remedied that the morning after they made love. They were spending time at his house now, her parents weren't coming back until Sunday so they had been at Azriels, fucking, making love, a lot of kissing, more than he had ever done in his life.

Fear gnawed at him, the anxiety was like a rock in his gut. But he ignored it, he was trying to change, trying to embrace other feelings.

"What did you say?" she cocks her head to the side, meeting his gaze, he swallows, his cheeks growing warm.

"I just said that um.." he struggles a little bit, his eyes shifting away from hers, "I want a fresh start with you.. I want-" he cuts himself off, feeling embarrassed. "Just want you to get everything the right way, the way that you deserve... Im probably not going to be any good at it, but I want to try," he swallows again, his eyes lifted back to hers, his chest warms at the smile on her face and he can't help but return it.

"Az I would love that," she breaths out. They hadn't really talked about anything in the past few days. He hated that the reason was because she was afraid to scare him away again, afraid that if she spoke about things that made him uncomfortable that she would lose him again. He hated that she had to be afraid about anything, she didnt realize that he wouldn't leave, even if he pushed her away. He physically couldn't stay away from her.

He was struggling for sure, especially with things like that, it made him feel even more like he didnt deserve her. He didnt deserve her kindness and her understanding, her love.

"So... See a movie with me tomorrow," he suggests, licking over his bottom lip.

He knew there was still things to worry about. His plans after graduation, which now seemed almost impossible, earning the approval of her parents who never seemed to like him much, even the thought of the approaching summer stressed him out. But right now.. Right now he just wanted to show her what she was truly worth, make her feel the way that he should have from the very beginning.

"I would love that too," she grins back at him, leaning her hands back on the counter, her feet swinging, gently tapping the cabinets. He wished he could freeze the moment forever, just there with her, in his kitchen, his t-shirt, oversized on her, draped over that beautiful body. And she was his, she loved him. "Az the pancakes," she reminds him, and her words cause him to snap out of his haze.

"Oh shit," he turns, smoke curling up from the pan. "I burnt them butterfingers, you distracted me," he smiles sheepishly pulling the pan off of the stove.

"Azriel, I didn't do anything," she laughs, shaking her head. "You should have just let me make them, I told you," she smirks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You don't have to do anything to always have my attention," and it was true, every time she was in his presence she consumed it. He figured, saying things like that were easier than saying I love you. She still hadn't said it again, he didnt blame her. He knew how she felt though, even if she was afraid of scaring him off again.

Her eyes gleamed at the statement, like it had warmed her insides. He blushed, when had he started getting flustered? "What are we going to eat?" she asks, a small pout forming on her lips.

"I should just eat you for breakfast," he says, closing the space between them so he was standing in front of her now , he rested his hands on her knees, slowly started sliding up, his fingers pressing gently. She bites her lip, her eyes drifting over his body carefully like she was trying to remember each and every one of his tattoos. She giggles softly when he burys his face in her neck, pulling her to the edge of the counter. "Shower with me," he mumbles softly against her neck, placing soft wet kisses there.

She giggles again quietly, nodding her head and he picks her up, carrying her to the bathroom. He sets her on her feet and kisses her forehead again, before slowly pulling his shirt that she was wearing over her head. He bites his lips softly, watching her breasts spring free, he hums and turns her around, bending down and slowly pulling her panties off, marveling up at her beautiful body. I love you. He didn't say it out loud though. He turns the water on and checks the temperature before gently tapping her ass as if to push her along into the shower. She laughs again. "Thanks Az," she hums softly, stepping under the warm water. "But don't forget I'm still hungry," she adds, glancing back at him, the curtain only half closed.

His lips twitch as he looks at her hungrily, pulling his own pants and socks off so he could join her.

"I gotchu baby," he nods, stepping into the shower with her. "Cereal remember?" he mumbles and she scrunches her nose at him.

"Maybe we should just go out for breakfast Az," she laughs and shakes her head at him, he smirks down at her shrugging his shoulders. He uses a washcloth, squeezing soap over her and watching it run down her perfect little perky breasts. "You look so good," he whispers, his eyes finding hers again. It was getting easier... The intimacy, the eye contact. The more time they spent, the easier it seemed to get. Azriel picked her up again, and she squealed.

"Az, I swear if you drop me," she breaths out, he could feel her heart pounding, their chests pressed together.

"I would never butterfingers," he mumbles softly, pressing more kisses to her wet skin. "Im gonna fuck you now," he mumbles, pressing her body against the wall of the shower her back arches at the coolness of the tile and she moans softly. "Put it in baby," he grunts softly, his lips everywhere, needy and desperate. He would never be able to get enough of her. Her breathing was heavy as she reached between the two of them, her hands sliding between their slippery bodies, no space between them. She pulls at his cock and he lets out a small sigh of relief as he buries himself inside her, filling her all the way up.

"Oh," she gasps out, her head tilting back against the tiles, he holds her up, burying himself inside of her over and over again.

"Fuckkk," he moans into her ear, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and desperate with each stroke. "You feel so good," he whispers into her ear, his voice husky and needy. She presses her bare chest against him, moaning again her release shaking through her whole body. Azriel groans softly at the feeling of her walls fighting around him before he spills himself inside her. They stayed like that for a while, water running over their faces, between their bodies, breaths heavy, chests heaving.

"How'd I get so lucky?" Azriel breaths out before gently setting her back down on her feet.

"You're not just lucky Az, you deserve this. Everyone deserves to be happy."

Azriel had been quiet since he picked me up from my house for out very first date as... A couple?

I could tell he was more nervous around me now. Like he was more careful, like he wanted to do everything perfectly for me. He would get flustered and shy any time he dared to say something that was sweet and out of character for him. It warmed me to my very bones.

"So this is your first real date?" Azriel asks, breaking the silence between us, his spliff hanging lazily from his lips. "Shot?" he asks after, offering me his flask, I take a small one before handing it back. We were in the parking lot at the cinema, Azriel had insisted that we had to pregame before going in.

"Thank you," I say and smile, our eyes meeting. "I mean technically yes it is, unless you count-"

"Count what?" he interrupts me, his expression shifting slightly. My cheeks burned as I recalled the night that I had shared with Lucien.

"I was just gonna say unless you count double dates," I add softly, his jaw flexes, and he looks away from me, staring forward out the windshield.

"Almost forgot about that tool," he mumbles, taking another long drag of the spliff, I watch him, pulling my lip between my teeth. Hes silently fuming, not looking at me, his jaw flexing and unflexing. "I should knock him out the next time I see him," Azriel shrugs, his eyes still trained on the windshield in front of him.

"I didnt actually fuck him Azriel... We just.." I trail off, remembering the night well. It hadn't been that long ago...

"Spare me the details," he mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "Lets go in," he opens his door, getting out of the car. I sigh softly, my eyes narrowing slightly at him.

"Must you always drink?" I ask quietly, watching as he finished off the flask and shoved it in his pocket.

"Not always," he shrugs and reaches his hand out for me, I give him a look but take his hand anyway.

"It's my first real date with someone that I love," it was the first time I voiced the word since that night I had been drunk on his chest months ago. I felt his hand tighten around mine, and he turned his head back, giving me a smile.

"Fuck you guys doing?" Azriel walks in to Rhys' and Cass' apartment, his hand in y/n's, pulling her behind him. She was nervous, he could tell. They were older than Azriel, which was mainly what she had been worried about, she had told him earlier that s he thought they would just think she was a baby. Azriel had assured her that they wouldn't care, though he knew they would comment on it later. Maybe even poke fun at him for it.

"Not a damn," Cass answers, his eyes landing on y/n, his brows raise as he surveys her, stopping at her hand tucked neatly away in Azriels, he had never seen that before. "Who's this?" he nods his head, beaming at her, she swallows, biting down softly on her lip.

"This is y/n," Azriel says casually. He hadn't spoken a word about her to them yet, he figured they would put it together, that this was the exact reason he had been behaving the way he was recently. "Y/n, meet my brothers, Rhys and Cass," Azriel points to both of them and she waves, smiling sheepishly as she takes in their appearance.

"Welcome y/n, I don't think we ever thought this day would come," Rhys chimes in finally, Cass begins snickering from his seat. "And this is your..." Rhys trails off, his eyes landing back on Azriel, Cass is grinning stupidly, expectantly in the corner waiting to see what Azriel was going to say, almost like a teen girl watching a reality show. This was new for both of them, Azriel had never brought a girl to meet them before, not since maybe middle school, but that didnt count.

"She's my baby," Azriel shrugs casually, his ears were hot, he knew they would poke relentless fun at him for ages.

"Your baby?" Rhys repeats, his tone laced with amusement, Cass is snickering again from his corner, a pause on the spliff he was rolling as he listened.

"He means to say his girlfriend," y/n chimes in, Azriel could tell she felt comfortable here, no more shyness in sight. Rhys and Cass were like that though, their vibe was just... Easy. All of their eyes snap to her and she smiles cheekily. "But hes absolutely petrified of the word," she tacks on, Azriel feels his cheeks burn and he shoots her a warning look. He'd get her back later. It wasn't that he was petrified of it... It was just that he couldn't get used to it.

"I like her Az, keep her," Cass is still chuckling to himself, marveling slightly. He never thought he'd see the day Az would bring home a girl.

"You two are embarrassing."

The pair were sitting on the beach, the warm summer air kissing their skin, the only sound was the ocean and the fair they had just come from off in the distance.

Azriel turned, admiring the way her hair ruffled in the breeze, in this moment, he didnt care about anything. Neither of them did. Azriel had decided not to move away, he was looking for a real job, hunting for an apartment that would be close enough to town that they could still be together... He knew there was still things to figure out, winning over her parents, that were nice enough but still looked down on him as if he would never be good enough for their daughter, the fact that she would eventually graduate, probably go off to college...

She wasnt worried though. She loved him enough to know that no matter what happened, or where they were... That nothing could break the bond they had built.

"Y/n, I love you," the words slipped out as Azriel gazed upon her, feeling so whole, so free yet so safe at the same time. He couldn't help himself. She deserved to know, anyway.

Her heart warmed, she turned toward him, leaning in, embracing the feel of his body against hers.

"I love you so much Azriel," she responds softly, their eyes fixed on one anothers. It was so easy now. For both of them.

"Thank you baby," he whispers softly, his throat bobbing. "Thank you for never giving up."

a/n: * not proof read yet, also im sorry its short don't hate me or kill me, i tried to warn y'all im trash at writing anything besides angst, i seriously struggled writing this because i feel like i forced it when I succk omg plus i feel like their story could have been over with the last part but i wanted to give you guys more you deserve all the fluff after everything we've been through. so here is your happy ending, i love you, stay tuned for what im working on next. <3

#acotar #azriel smut #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut #acotar fic #azriel spymaster #azriel fic #azriel fluff #azriel fan fiction

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