#its the first fic ive posted in months so be nice to me

[mxltifxnd0m]

the sam winchester one shot has been posted!!

im so proud of myself lol

[just-spacetrash]

🦾

[prettiestboyreid]

fics that have altered my brain chemistry (eddies/joe qs version)

okay so ive been in an adhd brain rot?? where im just fucking HORRIBLE at reblogging fics that i enjoy and honestly it was my whole reasoning behind making this blog FOR GIVING WRITERS THE LOVE THEY DESERVE i just wanted to give a shoutout to these writers (and stories) they’ve made that just fucking messed with my brain (and in a good way okay??) over these last few months. please check them out and give them all the fucking love they deserve

like a poem (FINISHED series, but sometimes if you ask nice enough she will throw a blurb in there) - im so very fucking biased because i love her to the moon and back, but she writes the best fucking stories of joe that will keep you up all night having you rethinking all of your life choices. IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME to pick out a story that i wanted to highlight in this post, but the whole reason i fell in love with her writing was because of bookstore!joe and he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. love you boo

plot: “Joe finds solace in a quaint bookstore, your bookstore, from a hectic situation in the streets. But, you’re closed. But then also, it’s Joseph Quinn.“ from the authors page

echoes (FINISHED, series) - again im so very fucking biased because she is the sweetest person you will have the pleasure of knowing BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT - she writes so fucking beautifully she will literally have you CRY and this will forever and always be my favourite fic of hers. she deserves all the love she gets, and then even more so read it!!!! (she will make you cry its not on me tho)

plot: “When she laid her emotions out for her best friend, the last thing she expected was for him to turn around, walk away and never speak to her again. Years after, they meet again - different people, different feelings. Or are they?” from the authors page

the hideout (FINISHED, oneshot)- this was one of the first fics i read and fell in love with. it was in that timeperiod where all i could do 24/7 was read eddie munson fanfics and this was one of those fics where i went “holy SHIT??” and honestly i dont think there will ever be a time where this isnt just some % on my mind??

plot: “Eddie Munson made it big. Now, when he returns to Hawkins for a hometown concert with his band, he is reminded of the girl he’s been in love with for the past 6 years when Steve Harrington calls.” from the authors page

vintage reeboks (FINISHED) - this is one of those fics where you’re like???? holy shit i wish i’d come up with that?? i remember reading all of this in one day (summertime, sweating very fucking much) and its just?? holy shit its perfect?? the way eddie is in this??? and its something i could never think of would be this perfect?? i swear i think of this fic at least once a day??

plot: “The gate at the bottom of Lover’s Lake was meant to spit the quartet out in the Upside Down. Steve, Nancy, and Robin were meant to be there. He wasn’t meant to be alone. But when Eddie comes to on the shoreline, you’re there. It’s not the Upside Down. It’s not Lover’s Lake. It’s not 1986.” from the authors page

twenty four hours (STILL GOING) - the way this has me in a chokehold?? im a fucking sucker for when fics have a nice layout??? and this is just so pretty to look at?? like whenever i see its been updated my whole body is SHAKING?? i dont even know what to say?? this is just so amazing and the whole?? will they wont they?? i love them?? i want them both to fight with me all night long??? i CANNOT wait to see where this ends

plot: “in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?” from the authors page

to know you’re mine (FINISHED) - i saw someone talk about this in the “eddie munson x reader” tag, and DEVOURED the chapters that were up in one whole day?? the way eddie is so fucking soft and nice and the best fucking gentleman in this?? and also?? the relationship to steve in this is amazing??? but THE RELATIONSHIP TO EDDIE IS EVEN MORE AMAZING?? such a fucking fantastic author please go EAT all the chapters right now

plot: “You know the rules. You'd been there when your boyfriend, Steve Harrington, discussed them with the others. There are only two.Number one: Only play when everyone's together. Number two: No finishing inside each other's girls.You'd agreed to these rules, same as Chrissy. Same as Eddie.But then there's rule number three, and though it remains unspoken, it's by far the most important. And you have that feeling again, like when you propped yourself up against the barstool, straining to see him on that stage, craning for a glimpse as his husky voice reached inside you. Now, his dark eyes are doing the same thing: pulling at something buried deep, tugging it into the light where it can't be hidden. And, sure, of course, you didn't intend this. But what are intentions in the face of such things? Needless to say, every rule gets broken.” from the authors page

the customer’s always right (STILL GOING) - hehhehe im a hoe for cutie virgin eddie??? but they way she always manages to capture eddie in her fics?? fucking amazing??? and her writing??? yes PLEASE so do yourself a favor on this fine friday AND READ THIS AMAZING FUCKING SERIES because eddie will make you fall in love in this???

plot: “eddie munson is a virgin and doesn’t want anyone to know (because being an adult who’s never fucked anyone is a total reputation ruiner). but you, his favorite customer, are more than willing to change that.” from the authors page

sincerely yours... (STILL GOING) - like i’ve told her before - her eddie is fucking amazing and so very much to the point!! im so excited for this one and cannot WAIT to see where eddies teasing will make him end up!! the last fucking part of this??? amazing

plot: "Untouchable, is what he called you. Dating Jason, the captain of the basketball tea, most would call you the same. Living your holier than thour life, something else he said, you can’t seem to swallow the need to prove him wrong” from the authors page

burn one (FINISHED) - this is just the perfect fucking combination of smutty and sweet??? like this is just how i imagine eddie and this is so fucking sweet and perfect?? had me thinking about this for WEEKS UGH

plot: "When you move to Hawkins to start over, your new unexpected friendship with your weed dealer next door is your saving grace. It was never your intention to fall in love with him though.” from the authors page

Disjointed (STILL GOING) - this fic has me feeling ALL the feels in all the chapters?? makes me GIGGLE, makes me CRY!!!, i’m in love with all the chapters and i CANNOT WAIT to see them live happily every after

also now that i’ve finished, i’ve just realised this is a lovepoem to my favourite authors on this app heheheh im sorry but i DO love you guys. please do go and read their stories, and send them all the fucking love in the world!! they do have so many amazing stories on their masterlist you will not be able to sleep tonight!!!

authors mentioned in this post THAT YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT!!: @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead​ @inknopewetrust @storiesbyrhi​ @ghost-proofbaby​ @blue-mossbird @lovebugism​ @plumxwrites​ @loveshotzz​ @boomhauer

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

ty @alexturnersmommy for the tag!! 15 questions/15 mutuals - right. here we go

1. are you named after anyone?

nope. wish i could say more but its simple as that 😭

2. when was the last time you cried?

oversharing and its bitter aftertaste ahhh fuck it. sobbed my face off few days ago on monday at my grans grave

3. do you have kids?

nah. jesus do i want kids? ehhhh- nah no youre aright

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

...probably. nevermind - yes. one of the phrases i say the most is "aw you've only went and done it havent ye." in a really angry voice when someones done absolutely nothing- which is really confusing cause i also say it in a less angry voice when someone does something really good?? ah

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

their voice!! i find it really easy to like someone if their voice sounds nice and also the opposite, do love a good accent.

6. what’s your eye colour?

hazel ig?? ive got central heterochromia so the centre of my eyes are brown and the rest is green.

7. scary movies or good endings?

good ending all the way. having said that, i am an avid agnst enjoyer so put your characters through hell as long as everything works out <3

8. any special talents?

uhhh i can moonwalk and half stand on my head- that's fun at parties 😭

9. where were you born?

glasgowwwwwww... like 3 months before i should have been 😭

10. what are your hobbies?

writing (shameless plug: read my fic ahhh its my pinned post), playing guitar, sticking ungodly amount of posters and magazines on my wall and uhhh love a good wee dj sesh i wont like *record scratch*

11. do you have any pets?

got a cat called derrikk. aye.

12. what sports do you play/have you played?

does dance count as a sport? eh what the hell. dance, sailing if you count it as a sport- longboarding...if you can count that as a sport 😭 used to do basketball.

13. how tall are you?

oh here we go. i'm 6'... let me tell you i am unstoppable (very much stoppable im an unbalanced bastard) in heels

14. favourite subject in school?

music tech and drama - only class where i can just chuck on my headphones and listen to music while editing projects stuff and in drama i love a good wee bit of the spotlight

15. dream job?

wanna be a film writer and director!! #my first screenplay is a mile long and very much unfinished

oh heres the fun part (remembering tags has to be one of my weaknesses) no pressure/dw if youve already been tagged!: @ballad-of-what-could-have-been @uhbasicallyjustmilex @rainymongerbanditweasel-blog @smokinnicsuckindic @mileskanex christ my memory is actually gonna be the death of me, anyone who wants it, you're tagged!

[viscerawrites]

status update 9/28/2024

just a lil post to announce what fics ive worked on/tasks ive crossed off my checklist today! its mostly for myself rlly fcngnhkk buuut its here if anyone's curious ig? Im just chilling

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what ive accomplished today:

wrote 492 words for chapter 2 of where love didn't exist

today was the first time ive been able to work on this fic (w/o anxiety) since i first posted it in january, so that's pretty nice! tbh i lost so much confidence in it after i lost my therapist since i was hoping to use it as a coping fic while i processed shit. but who knows, maybe it'll still help me learn things abt myself. regardless, im excited to be back at it!

wrote 156 words for my sleep token oneshot wip, the body as a temple ; got it to 913!

i havent worked on this one in a while either lol, mostly bc i started it right before The Anxiety started hitting me every time i sat down to write. i was honestly rlly nervous to return to it cuz i was scared I wouldn't be able to keep writing it at all. but im giving myself the grace to move slow, so. rare W for me.

retyped/sorta edited 582 words for chapter 1 of my hollywood undead wip the exorcism of jorel decker

i actually posted this 1st chapter a long while ago! then i deleted it, tried to rework into original fiction, realized i was having much more fun writing it as bandfic, and then foolishly orphaned the original version instead of just deleting </3 but the good news abt that is. idk if i still have it in my google docs at all. so at least i have that to reference LOL.

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soo.

today is saturday september 28 (this month is going by way too fast fr) and it's just past 6pm rn. got a late start today bc i was exhausted as shit for a while, then i talked to my mom incessantly for what was apparently hours. So i only got started around 3pm (but i still needed to warm up, soo it took longer. Bleh).

didn't set my checklist goals at the start of the day like i planned to bc i was having The Anxiety and a bit of decision paralysis. and was also worried abt.. Various things. so it doesn't feel as successful today, but ive still gotten shit done and that's what should matter to me.

out of everything ive typed today, ive done abt 1,230 words in total so far. Most of that was unfortunately just me retyping shit ive already written and am now moving from google docs to ellipsus (which i highly recommend btw). i typically prefer to retype into new software instead of pasting; it gets the brain flowing better.

but i did still write some new words, and a lot of what i retyped was modified and added to. or cut. Whatever it needed rlly.

im still trying to find the proper schedule for myself + the best way to juggle my millions of projects/ideas. I need to allow myself some wiggle room while still having some structure. adhd is making this a bit difficult (as it so often does), but it's rlly just trial and error rn. Plus a lot of self-acceptance and focusing on making things easier and more fun for myself - instead of worrying abt the "most reasonable" way to do things. Or anything others might recommend.

I do still plan on writing some more before the night is done, so I might be back w/ an update for this before I head to bed. I got distracted by my brother while writing this post so it's now just after 6:45 LOL.

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gonna close this post off w/ music ive been rlly liking today! bc,, why not.

Animals - Ice Nine Kills (maroon 5 cover)

Disturbia - The Cab (rihanna cover)

What I Never Learned In Study Hall - Ice Nine Kills

[spacedlexi]

Tag 9 People You Want to Get to Know Better!

i dont usually do tag games but i'll take any excuse to have a reason to post wips lmao tagged by @foibles-fables

Favorite color: pink and purple baybee!! (my original fave colors ive come back to you im sorry i ever left...) green yellow and red are also nice (sorry i love colors)

Currently reading: nothing 😭 i keep trying to read books but i cant do it anymore the internet has brain broken me my attention span is non existent. tried rereading and then there were none last. couldnt find my murder on the orient express (i love mysteries)

Last song: shes not there - neko case

Last series: the walking dead but i had to give up i cant do it anymore 💀the games are better than the show im saying it. i got to S10E7 but i just cant go back i wont. currently mentally preparing myself to watch utena for the first time

Last movie: the lost boys :) its halloween time. been meaning to watch bound tho ive had the link up for a couple weeks now

Sweet/savory/spicy: savory > sweet > spicy honestly just depends on my mood. i like sour more than any of these tho wheres sour and salty >:( i eat lemons for fun

Currently working on: SOOOOO MUCH ALWAYS HELP ME heres just a small selection of my wips from the past month or so. i already want to re-draw half of them. dont be like me 😭

half of those notes are board scripts (other half comics) and that doesnt even include my unfinished fic (that ive been writing on the train i promise!!!!). started boarding the tower but we're about to learn storyboard pro in class so im gonna use it to help me get used to the program (no way i'll finish in time for clems bday 😔)

No-pressure tags: calling any and all mutuals who would like to play a little game feel free to say i tagged you :)

[indestinatus]

Hi, different anon, i dont know who sent the others. i want to say some things but please don't take any of this in the wrong way. ive followed you for a long time, you're well liked and well respected in the tiva fandom for good reason however, i agree with the anon that there has been a change that has nothing to do with your life commitments (which im happy for you BTW!)

You said its overwhelming on twitter because of the number of people there now but this isn't accurate, if there were a large number of people being kind on there then there wouldn't be a problem but these people are continuously unkind to anyone who isn't in their "troops".

You reference "tiva fights" on twitter but i don't remember a time before the spin-off was announced that there was drama on this constant scale like this in the fandom. you say you won't support "content stealing or random rudeness" yet the only people you now interact with on twitter are the very people doing this (i think this is an issue the anon was talking about).

You say you've made real friends here over the years and that's true! but like the anon said its like you've dropped these friends and are only focused on the people who are intent on tearing this fandom apart for their own egotistical gains.

Your "new" friends have created nothing but trouble since they appeared when the spin-off was announced. they have been rude, insulting, belittling, condescending, aggressive etc towards anyone who doesn't share their mindset. they gang up on people who say one thing they don't like and are also attacking random people not in the fandom who comment on announcement tweets. either you don't know the full extent of the damage they've caused inside this fandom to people who are friends with you (which is fine because there are many people who can explain it to you), or you know what they've done to people and you simply don't care. i think the ambiguity of this particular part is unsettling people because it seems as if you're condoning what they've done.

I think you yourself are a really nice and kind person but the friends you've now got are affecting the way people see you. i saw also you had quote retweets from hawaii fans and that's because your new friends have done nothing but attack them for months, so now you are receiving it too because you associate with them.

Overall it just seems like there is confusion to you not talking to these new people at all to suddenly they are the only ones you talk to. I know you can't control what other people do but this is more of a reflection of what your friendship with them is presenting.

hello, anon. this ask has made me immensely sad.

first of all, who am I in the grand scheme of things. for you to be monitoring my activity and debating who I should be talking to like... I admit I am a person moved by fandom. In the ncis fandom, especially the tiva fandom, there are waves of activity both here and on other socials like twitter and instagram. I've spent almost 2 years not posting on twitter and only making content for tumblr, both gifsets and fics, and talking to the fandom in here. Likewise, when it's more active there I tend to float toward where people want to talk about it. And who share fandom content and who are actually excited about what I also share.

I talked about some stuff you allude to in this ask only in my private twitter which means you're one of my closest friends in the fandom, and it makes me sad. And no, I never categorized myself in any friend group. I don't take sides in fights inside a fandom (which, idk if you know this but the ncis fandom was really big in 2010s and every big fandom has fights and wow do I even need to talk about the drama back then) and if you monitor my activity so closely I think you also know I wasn't aware of the details of this until a few days prior. Since then, I've collected myself again and I haven't shared content I know is from other people whom I respect and I don't interact with arguments about cancellations and other drama like this. I hate it. I'm here to talk about fictional characters and share stuff I'm excited about.

that said, I haven't dropped any friends. I'm not inside any "new troops". from what I remember, I tried my best not to be "rude, insulting, belittling, condescending, aggressive" against anyone. My real friends from this fandom know who they are and we talk constantly, they have my private phone number and my personal instagram. we support each other. I don't know anything other than seeing a few friends talking about having their gifs been stolen (so no, it's not like "I simply don't care") but also idk if I'm interested in fandom drama. since then, I voiced my opinion about taking someone else's content as one's own and focused on making my own content again, sharing the ones I know are from people who created them and staying silent.

since the spin-off news dropped I've been overwhelmed with the number of new people who suddenly arrived in this fandom and also with the zero amount of time I now have to create fandom content about stuff I'm so excited about. I didn't even have the time to digest this news and am constantly bombarded with new things and no time to process them like I wanted to. no time to make the gifsets, fics, or talk to people like I did before and also who aren't as active anymore anywhere. it breaks my heart to be excited about stuff in a way my life doesn't allow me to be.

anyway, after this whole ramble, I hope you realize I hate fandom drama and that is why I post my content, voice my opinion, and make myself scarce. if you want to explain what happened or simply talk to me, feel free and I'm OK with being judged. but also I don't intend to be as active anymore currently because of things like these and asks like these from anons. I'm sorry. if anyone wants to talk about tony and ziva, let me know.

[strwberri-milk]

Hi! I love your Genshin fics! I see you posting a lot about LADS and it is tempting me to try out the game.

Is it f2p friendly? Is it very time consuming like Genshin?

dear lord it is nawt f2p friendly if you like more than one character - it really depends on how invested you are in the game imo - ramblings under the cut!!

tldr; not the most f2p friendly - you just need to be strict w diamonds/cards you pull for, time sink would be highest in the first month, then end game content once you start getting to that stage but nothing likes genshin's aranara quest. i probably played around?? three hours/day when i first started lads? which @ launch mind you

if you love dating sims + hack and slash i think its great! i love the current story arcs and the direction the game is taking w its story + characters but i think you also need to be realistic. unlike genshin where i feel like i can feasibly grind out primos via quests/explorations theres not much in lads that you can do once you hit endgame - so as long as you save up your gems for wishes + are realistic about your expecations (wont be able to get every five star, avoid trying to get all the love interests, etc) i think it'd be fine if you can be like, casual about it?

i do spend on the aeurm pass which is just welkin in lads and bc i just pull for raf ive got a backlog of 223 wishes and im currently saving a guarunteed. honestly, you could just do 3 months aerum and then call it a night bc thats like, 90 wishes if you do your dailies in conjunction and its a healthy backlog to have while you play the game. rn the game does give you 10 - 20 wishes during events which are nice so you just need to be strategic

imo i spend signiifacntly less time playing lads then i do genshin bc my cards are all levelled enough and since theres no open world theres really nothing to do post completing all the battles. theres a large time sink in the beginning but once you start getting to the higher level stuff you won't be playing as actively, esp since the story is still in its very early stages. you need your cards to (realistically) only be around lvl 30 to pass the main story stages which would take maaybee two more weeks of grinding? i believe it should only take about a month to hit the level cap (lvl 80 currently) if you do your dailies so yeah. first month is gonna be significantly busier as you learn things but then you can play much more casually than genshin

i only spend hours when im doing smth like clearing orbits (i just finished rafs 112! and thats basically like. idk spiral ig) bc that took me like. three hours today of just doing the stage over and over again so yeah!! if you wanna know more feel free to send another ask lolol thats just my currently ramblings

[furymint]

2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

[akirameta84]

idk when or if ill finish this and ive had a habit of sharing my unfinished wip fics lately so heres the sequel to the werewolf au oneshot i wrote (and that i also shared the first part of months before i finished and posted it to ao3 lol)

id say its a bit under halfway done? idk. it follows directly after the last oneshot and may be confusing without it. and its an unfinished fic so you wont be missing anything if you just wait for it to eventually be finished and published (even if it might be a year rip)

but yeah. this is the first half or so wip of "Howling Harassment" sequel to the kubosai werewolf oneshot "Lycanthropic Liasons"

has not been edited or proofread obviously cause its not even done

its 5.3k words, and warning for vomiting mentions. if you want to skip the mini scene where kusuo is sick (he doesnt puke in the scene but talks about having done so) ive bolded the start and end of it. you wont be missing any plot details with it, but this wip preview does end shortly after it with just a paragraph so if you plan to skip that scene you can just stop reading at the first bolded part and be fine

enjoy i guess

also my italics didnt copy over so :shrug: place them where you think they go

Kusuo had been enjoying a very nice nap, relaxing peacefully and soaking in some warm sunshine, when the feeling of something wet dripping onto him slowly roused him from his slumber.

He blearily opened one eye but then immediately snapped both open when he caught sight of the tan wolf, shockingly with a normal looking chin, leaning over him and drooling all over his face. Recoiling and lurching to his paws in the same beat, he stumbled a good few meters away from Nendou, standing tensely in the grass.

They were right outside the makeshift and, honestly, poorly constructed hideout of Kaidou and Aren’s, and Kusuo had thought that if he took a nap outside he could both enjoy the sun on his fur and separate himself from Nendou, since the idiot would likely be enthralled by Kaidou and Aren attempting to play card games with paws.

Apparently Kusuo had been very very wrong. He sat down hard into the dirt and reached a back leg to scratch painfully at his head, like it would help get all the saliva off of him even though he knew it wouldn’t.

Nendou had been staring at him the whole time until a deep bark from the hideout entrance sounded, calling his attention. Aren’s deep purple and very furry but scarred head stuck out from the door made of blankets and glared at Nendou, having heard Kusuo’s mental distress. Nendou whimpered but strutted over to the entrance and headed inside.

In regards to the werewolf telepathy, since they were unsure if Nendou could hear them, attempting verbal communication without the ability to speak words was necessary to try and talk to the idiot who had also found himself lycanthropic by unknown means. At least they knew where he was now and Kusuo could fix any problems his disappearance has started to cause.

Kusuo was slightly worried as well that, due to the fact that he was missing all of the last week, Nendou couldn’t turn back like Kaidou and Aren had at first. Kusuo had been able to teach them by just instructing them through how he usually activated his shape-shifting, and it had thankfully done the trick.

He was still hoping that Nendou could hear their trains of thought even if they were blocked from his. He’d shown no signs of it, but this was Nendou. He could be hearing everything and not give a single clue.

Either way, it was still absolutely bizarre to have someone (Or up to three someones) reading his mind for a change, even if the fact that he didn’t have to bother with proper communication as much was pleasant.

‘It’s still bizarre to me that you’ve heard all of our thoughts up to now from when you met us, Kusuo.’

Yeah. That was fair. Kusuo lifted his head and gazed at the darkening sky that was many shades of orange and pink as the sun gradually lowered into the horizon. It was rather pretty and almost soothing to stare at. It’d been decently bright and blue when he’d gone to sleep, so he’d gotten a good few hours in.

That was good. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep once he went back home and dealt with what would be waiting for him. There was no way his brother had already gone from England to Japan in under twelve hours, even if their mom calling about limiter issues was fairly serious, but he’d still get harassed via television video call from his brother and either wait in dread for his brother to fly over or just teleport himself and get it over with.

Both sucked.

‘I think you’re over reacting. Surely your brother didn’t literally create something that turns people into werewolves. That sounds impossible. To be fair, so does being born an esper, but still.’

‘…B-but how else did it get…created?’

Kaidou was very bad at hiding his excitement at the concept of a mad scientist making something like lycanthropy, even if he posed his question as.

And also how he wondered if Kusuo’s brother could make him into a vampire instead, because when he watched a movie series called- ‘Hey stop stop sto-’

Kusuo snorted but obliged and cut that train of thought off, standing up and padding over to the hideout entrance.

Regardless, the answer was very much no to Kaidou, there really was no other potential source, and yes to Aren. Kuusuke was most certainly behind this and Kusuo was either going to make him fix it or commit fratricide.

‘…Can you…m-maybe-’

‘If he makes a cure I’m not letting you stay like this, Kaidou.’

Kusuo arrived at the blanket covering and stepped inside right on cue to see Kaidou’s best attempt at a canine frown and puppy eyes…the latter of which was quite a lot more effective in a literal dog form than it normally was for the boy seated on a pillow in the very corner of the hideout, front paws splayed over a bunch of cards on the carpeted ground in front of him.

He looked away before the eyes could take effect. He was getting far too soft and was not about to consider willingly keeping one of his friends a goddamn werewolf when he could reverse it.

When. Not if. Kusuo kept making sure he left no room for doubt in his mind. That way it would be easier to kill Kuusuke if he failed to make a totally guaranteed cure.

Aren was padding back over to the light blue wolf, a sulking Nendou in tow, and though Kusuo’s thoughts had already spelled out for the two of them that he was about to go home and get the confrontation or whatever over with, he still had one more pressing issue to attempt to solve beforehand.

‘Nendou,’ He projected outwards, staring at him as if it would help get his message across, taking a few more steps on the frankly uncomfortably textured carpet.

To his slight shock, the tan wolf spun his head around so quickly he feared Nendou would break his neck (A familiar sight, Nendou did that far too much, even if it had less of an impact without the…mildly disturbing human face), tongue lolling out of his mouth as he watched Kusuo expectantly.

Aren and Kaidou looked up, intrigued, their minds similarly surprised that Nendou could hear their minds just fine.

…Could he? There was a chance that had been Kusuo’s own inherent telepathy as it was hard to tell the two versions apart, unlike the ease at which he could separate the lycanthropic ability and his own shape-shifting.

If it was his own and the idiot couldn’t hear Kaidou or Aren that wasn’t that much of an issue. Kusuo was the one who needed to help him turn back, after all.

(Considering the fact that Nendou didn’t visibly react to any of Kusuo’s ambient thoughts about that, actually, Nendou was not connected to the werewolf telepathy. He can only hear projected thoughts from Kusuo’s. Kaidou seemed utterly fascinated by that, while Aren was just mildly annoyed at how it was so complicated. Kusuo was in agreement with his boyfriend, and not just because of that status).

Nendou’s head tilted after the good few moments of staring, and Kusuo realized he should probably elaborate on why he got his attention before he was licked or pounced on again.

‘Do you want me to show you how to turn back tomorrow?’

He almost offered to do it right now but remembered, bitterly, that they were all stuck like this for a good while longer thanks to the moon cycle.

To his surprise, Nendou responded by shaking his head no, slobber flailing from his tongue as he did so. He heard Kaidou yelp as a drop landing in his eye, according to his thoughts.

That was…not the expected or desired answer at all. Kusuo wished he could just ask why straight up, but he would just go through the options instead.

Aren had sat down facing the two of them, even though Nendou was still turned away from Kusuo and looking back with his head, face far too amused to be anything but smug.

‘I bet he’s going to already know how to-’

‘You’re jumping ahead in the narrative, shut up.’

‘…I’m what?’

Kusuo firmly decided to ignore him. Kaidou could probably use some help putting all the playing cards away, he not so subtly thought of but didn’t directly project as he looked over and saw the small wolf in question pushing around the cards with his paws to try and get them all in a small stack again.

Aren just rolled his eyes but turned away to assist, and Kusuo gave his attention back to the ever still and rapt Nendou.

Seriously, he kind of wished that Nendou had lost interest in their one-sided conversation during the decently sized breaks in it. That would be less creepy.

‘Are you saying no because you already know how?’ He asked next, using purely his own deductive reasoning and nothing else.

‘You are really something special, babe.’

Kusuo shifted in place, annoyed, as Nendou nodded. There was no bothering with asking why the fuck he had stayed like this a week when there wouldn’t be a reply. He just huffed out a breath of air and asked one last question.

‘Will you please turn back and be human again by tomorrow?’

Nendou unflinchingly nodded at the downright angry tone of Kusuo’s, finally spinning around fulling and raising a front paw up, curling it and uncurling it awkwardly.

Was that supposed to be a thumbs up? Probably. He could only guess that it was because the idiot tended to give so many of those normally.

Kusuo nodded to himself and walked away, putting as much space between him and Nendou as he could in the small hideout, ending up next to the other two slightly less idiotic wolves.

‘Slightly!? It’s more than just slightly!’

Aren just chortled.

‘Do you want help getting home before I go, Kaidou? I can teleport you and then make your family perceive you as human if they happen to see you before you’re able to change back. And, of course, make your disappearance today nonexistent.’

There was a worrying hesitation before Kaidou replied, his snout twisting awkwardly as if he were trying to bite at his lip, and he paused in gently nudging a few cards to the side and merging them with the growing stack. Kusuo used his telekinesis to grab them all and order them neatly into a stack, floating them straight into the box.

Kaidou blinked at him, startled but grateful, but refocused his mind quickly.

‘A-actually I want to. Uh…t-tell them. I don’t want to hide it forever and it would just be…easier. To tell them.’

Huh. Kusuo had heard Kaidou’s mind dance on that possibility, but it had been thought about so little that he hadn’t expected the boy to actually decide on that course of action in the end.

‘…I hope it goes well, then. Do you still want help getting home right now or will you wait?’

‘I’ll w-wait with Aren. Get some nerves out. And go home when we’re back.’

‘Very well.’

Kaidou and Aren had taken to keeping spare clothes in the hideout, so that plan would work just fine for them. Kusuo had no need, he could just teleport freely around those two since his secret wasn’t secret between them. And, in all honesty…it felt nice to have have a friend closer than Aiura or Toritsuka know, as well as someone even closer but not family.

But for now he also was definitely not telling any other friends. Not until he was ready to actually do it on his own terms for once.

Kusuo turned around and walked towards the exit of the hideout despite not needing to in order to head home, but it somehow felt more polite to leave this way and then teleport.

‘I’ll see you guys tomorrow, then.’

Kaidou and Aren seemed baffled that he’d said farewell which was rather fair since he never gave those or said hello much at all, but responded in kind themselves.

Before he could make it all the way out, though, footsteps sprinted towards him, and he didn’t have much time to react before Aren shoved his face against Kusuo’s, rubbing them together like he was a cat instead of a wolf.

Aren’s expression was far too innocent afterwards as he drew back and somehow grinned, and Kusuo rolled his eyes and turned away, keeping his body but most importantly his stupid tail with a mind of its own still as warmth bloomed in his chest, grateful his face couldn’t flush like this.

He continued walking moments after, only not doing something to be polite and reciprocate because he needed to leave and not because the prospect of doing so like this was embarrassing.

He briefly wanted to strangle Aren when he heard his mental chuckle at his denial.

As soon as he had fully crossed through the blanketed doorway, tail and all, Kusuo gathered his energy and teleported to his bedroom, a location so familiar he didn’t even need to conjure the image in his head to travel to it.

And, as soon as all four of his legs landed on his bedroom floor, his television turned on and his brother’s ugly face filled the screen, telepathy canceler adorning his long blonde hair, some of it covering his left eye and the rest of it in a ponytail, despite Kusuo being nowhere close enough to read his mind. He bared his teeth at the image and intentionally raised his hackles.

It took less than a second of being home for his brother to make an entrance.

Fifty six milliseconds, to be precise.

Kuusuke sniffled, feigning sadness as his tinny voice sounded through the speakers, “I can’t believe my own baby brother is so angry at me paying him a pseudo visit. How upsetting, after mom called me so worried about you and everything…”

Kusuo just sat on his floor and glared at the television, making eye contact not with Kuusuke’s image, but with the camera perched very visibly on top of the television.

His brother knew he’d be slaughtered if he had cameras permanently installed in Kusuo’s or their parent’s bedrooms. But he’d been barely spared when he added one to his TV that only activated when he was video calling, and the living and dining rooms got actual full-time cameras.

“Hmph, no response? Not even a rude comment?” His brother paused purposefully and smugly, “Oh, wait, you can’t respond! Without your telepathy, since even with my lovely canceler I’m still far out of range, you can’t speak like that.”

A teasing glint entered his brother’s visible eye as Kusuo continued to glare, unimpressed, “Or can you? Come on, can you speak, Kusuo? Speak? Like a good dog?”

He had to put physical effort into swallowing his growl, because that would have almost given Kuusuke exactly what he wanted. His bedroom sat in silence as they had an impromptu, or really, with his brother, expected competition to see who’s resolve gave first.

Kuusuke didn’t bother to try very hard, giving up with a shrug quickly because as much as he liked to make fun of his brother and attempt to win at every little thing, proper competition or not, they shared the same trait of impatience.

Kusuo’s patience was better overall, though. It had to be, growing up with his powers and all.

“I will say, it is a lot harder to decipher what you want to say like this. I’ve mastered your blank human expression, obviously, but I am very much not a canine person. Maybe I should have made werecats instead…”

Kusuo didn’t even bother to hide his growl that time, narrowing his eyes and translating his words clearly enough that his brother was easily able to garner the meaning when given more information than an empty glare.

“Oh? Am I responsible for you and your friend’s predicament? Obviously. To be completely truthful, though, you were never supposed to find out, and you were especially not supposed get infected yourself.”

Kusuo tilted his head to the side, keeping his eyes narrowed to hopefully keep his skepticism clear.

His brother laughed at first, “Aw, you look adorable like that. It barely looks like you’re angry,” Kusuo snapped his head back up instantly, “But no, I am not lying. That’s why I kidnapped and gave the virus to your brainless friend initially, so you wouldn’t hear any thoughts about it.”

Kuusuke paused to wave a hand dismissively at the question Kusuo didn’t even try to ask, anticipating the obvious.

“I never left London and your friend never left Japan, either. I had robots kidnap and inject him with the serum I had mailed to a private lab I own in the area beforehand. It was easier and I had no risk of getting infected myself. What I failed to realize is that your little pet idiot could break out of a room made of solid steel walls and take off the tracking collar in the process.”

The screen briefly flickered to an image of, presumably, the room Nendou had been held in. There was a large hole in one of the gray, metal walls, opening straight into the outside, and the image barely lasted a few seconds before his brother was back in view.

Ah. Kusuo didn’t think that was possible either, but this was Nendou they were talking about, who has done countless other inhuman feats like his stunt in the school marathon. If Kusuo didn’t know any better, he’d say that Nendou also had psychic abilities.

“Anyways, I’m sure you’re wanting my help with this…issue of yours?” Kuusuke questioned, not leaving room for Kusuo to respond before continuing.

Not that Kusuo would have replied anyways, but the implications were still rude.

“Why don’t you teleport over here right away and let me have a look? I have to admit, much to my shame… I have no way of making a cure without seeing the biological structure of the transformed state first. Otherwise I might be reverting things that are actually a part of your human body.”

That was the biggest pile of bullshit Kusuo had ever heard, and his eye roll only conveyed a tiny fraction of how pissed he was.

“Ah, you’re too smart for that, huh, Kusuo? Yeah, I actually don’t know if I can revert the lycanthropy at all, haha! I never planned to in the first place.”

…Sometimes, the truth hurt significantly more than the lie he had tried to get fed. Kusuo sighed, quite displeased, and stood with a stretch, walking right past his television and heading for the door of his bedroom, which he swung open telekinetically.

He couldn’t see his brother anymore, but he could, unfortunately, still hear him, “Cold shoulder, huh? I never said I wouldn’t try, Kusuo,” He paused mid-step, body halfway out of the door, “Teleport over tomorrow before school, since I really don’t think you’ll get anywhere near me transformed and you’re stuck like this until around six in the morning tomorrow, and I’ll see what I can think of. I won’t keep you anymore, mom’s about to call you down for dinner. Goodbye!”

Kusuo heard his television forcefully shut off with a faint click at the same time his mom’s thoughts grew in volume as they targeted him with ‘Ku-chan, dinner’s ready!’

He’d known dinner was ready. That was why he’d teleported home at this time and had started leaving the conversation when he had. Hmph. Maybe it was a little bit of intentional cold shoulder, sure, but it was mostly dinner.

Or at least that was what he’d tell his mom if Kuusuke whined to her about Kusuo being mean, because he was just being mean for the fun of it. It wasn’t like his brother didn’t deserve it. Sure, he said he was going to genuinely try and fix the whole stupid werewolf thing, but it was his fault in the first place so the effort overall amounted to nothing.

…Did Kuusuke say six in the morning? That probably meant the initial shift had been at six this morning, which added up. That was utterly ridiculous. It was from sunrise to sunrise on the day and night with the fullest moon. How irritating. Kusuo was very good at tuning out Kaidou and Aren’s train of dialogue at this point, helped by his seventeen years of experience tuning out telepathy in general, so much so that he could even forget about them, but their exclamations of horror at that time-frame brought them back into the forefront for a moment.

They’re going to be waiting in that hideout much longer than anticipated… Kusuo sent them a brief condolence. He sent himself a reminder to set an alarm for tomorrow morning so he could shift back promptly.

Abruptly done, Kusuo turned back into his room instead of stepping all the way out, finding and grabbing his dinner telekinetically and bringing it straight to himself, ignoring the silverware for obvious reasons. Upon seeing his plate float away from his table, his mom’s thoughts became rather worried, but he reassured her that he was fine, just still. Having issues.

“…And I’ll be going to see Kuusuke early tomorrow,” He tacked on as well, rolling his eyes at how that statement fully calmed her down in the end.

Setting the plate down on his desk, Kusuo did his best to hop onto his desk chair, grumbling as he landed and the chair teetered precariously before balancing. Doing that was much easier as a cat, considering he weighed around ten pounds as one compared to now in which he was probably a good bit over a hundred.

Mildly annoyed, he huffed again tonight, and started eating (And being a bit disheartened at how dull the normally delicious tonkatsu tasted. He didn’t have anywhere near as many taste buds as a human did, so it was like the flavor was distant and sad), debating on if even trying to sleep when he felt wild awake and irritated was even worth it.

Well, even just lying restfully in his bed would be nice, and Kusuo decided listlessly relaxing was how he’d spend the rest of the night. School tomorrow would probably be a pain after having to deal with his brother, and a mental break would be necessary.

If only he had his germanium ring to truly relax in silence, properly removing both forms of telepathy. As much as he was fond of his nuisances, it was socially draining to always be either in a conversation or hearing one, as the werewolf telepathy was louder than his.

‘Are you telling us to shut up?’

‘Of course not. I’m complaining to myself, not you.’

‘…Right.’

Back on track, even if he could wear a ring on paws, it was no longer functional. The initial transformation had taken his ring with it, just like his clothes, and it’d been warped and broken beyond repair due to Kusuo’s innate strength. If it hadn’t, he likely would’ve tied it to a string and placed it on his neck.

As it stood, it was one wrong tap from Kusuo away from shattering, which wasn’t good when one weak tap from Kusuo could kill a person.

At least in the fading hours of daylight as dusk transitioned to night, people were settling down; and while most people weren’t going to sleep, they were going from a busy day to a mellow night routine, and their minds quieted as a result.

Finishing his meal and barely stopping himself from zoning out and letting his brain decide to lick the rest of the plate clean, he squinted at the empty dish and activated his clairvoyance to see if he had any coffee jelly of equal value in the fridge.

Fantastically, he did. Thank god his parents didn’t splurge on fancy dishes and silverware. This cheap ceramic plate had the same value of a slightly high in value convenience store coffee jelly, and so he apported the two of them, not caring at all that his empty plate was now in the refrigerator.

Kusuo could put it up later, before his parents noticed. Probably.

The lack of hands was making Kusuo actually appreciative of the full scale of his ESP for once, as ripping the seal off of the cup of jelly was as simple as a flex of his mind.

His tail thumped against the side of chair from where it dangled downwards as he shoved his snout straight into the cup. The taste may be watered down and nowhere close to how divine it was normally, but there was still enough of it present for him to enjoy it blissfully.

When he finished it and licked the entire inside completely clean he apported the empty cup for a significantly cheaper but still good brand of coffee jelly, since eating the contents regrettably lowered the value.

He deserved two for this whole ordeal. Maybe three…

…Perhaps not three, actually, since it wouldn’t do if he ate too much coffee jelly while being unable to truly enjoy its delectable flavor…yeah, two would suffice. That reason was why he had avoided his favorite treat even when dealing with being miserable and shape-shifted against his will, but a whole day stuck as a dog warranted it.

----

Kusuo should not have eaten any coffee jelly.

His head and stomach burned fiercely but, at the very least, he heard little to no mental voices due to it being the middle of the night. Even Kaidou and Aren were fast asleep, evidently, since there was no trace of them in his mind. So he did get the reprieve of his headache was significantly less than it could have been in this moment.

His mom rubbed his back (Basically petting him but the comfort was something he would have gotten the exact same way in a human form, so whatever), kneeling down on the floor to be next to him as he sat on the same, chilly, bathroom tile, right in front of the toilet.

Caffeine was toxic to canines, as well as most other animals. Technically it was still toxic to humans but that was irrelevant due to humans having the constitution for it.

Wolves did not have the constitution for it. It made them very ill instead.

Yes, he’d known that, but he’s eaten coffee jelly in his cat form with no repercussions despite his biology being just as altered as it was now…but, on retrospect, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever spent the next few hours after those moments remaining in a cat form and letting that body start to digest it, instead turning back before that could happen.

His mom’s mind was frantic with distress which was fair considering she’d found her normally invulnerable son still transformed and heaving the contents of his stomach into the toilet in the middle of the night after waking up from the noise of him teleporting and landing loudly into the bathtub at first because he’d been disoriented and nauseous, but she’d refused to let her mind come up with and ask questions until she was sure Kusuo was going to be alright.

She was a godsend, and so he decided to explain of his own free will so she wouldn’t start crying, which she was far too close to for comfort, flicking his gaze to the side so that it met hers.

“I’m okay. Or getting there. Dogs can’t have coffee or they get sick. I ate two cups of coffee jelly after dinner…I think I forgot to take the plate I apported into the fridge back out as well. Sorry.”

“Kusuo…” The use of his actual name was usually a bad sign, but now it was more out of exasperation and worry than anything of the scolding variety, “Can you still not turn back?”

He just shook his head, not wanting to explain that he wouldn’t be able to until a time frame that was far too specific for what he was still pretending was a power malfunction.

Kurumi just hummed sadly at that, continuing to stroke his back even as his scooted a bit away from the toilet. His stomach was still rolling queasily, but Kusuo was fairly sure that his body was done being absolutely disgusting.

He almost shuddered remembering how it had felt. He was beyond glad his ESP made him neigh immune to disease, because vomiting was the most unpleasant thing he’d ever experienced so far in life.

As he continued to pull himself back together, staring blearily at the white bathroom floor tiles, his mom asked him another question, “Would medicine help?”

“Even if it did, given my powers, I can’t take it like this. Human medication is a very big no-no for animals,” He sighed mentally and slowly raised himself off the ground, taking shaky steps past his mom and towards the open bathroom door. It was dark in the house, and so the hallway outside looked pitch in contrast to the illuminated bathroom, even with his ability to see in the dark.

The bathroom was, fortunately, rather close to his bedroom, so he decided against teleporting and padded slowly back to his room, pausing as his mom rushed ahead to open the door for him, leaving the bathroom light on in the process.

That was sweet of her, even if he probably could have used his telekinesis fine. He sent a quiet thanks to her and closed the gap to his bed agonizingly slowly, as his stomach lurched ominously whenever he tried to speed up more than a tiny bit.

Kusuo had actually managed to drift asleep briefly before this incident, lulled sufficiently by soft mental voices as he laid on his bed, and now he was even sleepier feeling. It seemed like getting sick had actually assisted in granting him some much needed rest.

He didn’t bother to shut his bedroom door, nosing under the covers of his bed until he was completely buried and comfortable, wondering faintly where his mom had gone when he heard her footsteps go downstairs, but overall not that concerned about it.

It was only when he had nearly fallen asleep again that his heightened hearing noticed her approaching his bed, and she called for him as she approached the lump of covers he’d become, “Ku-chan?”

He stuck his head out from under his blankets, the rest of his body curled up tightly behind him, looking curiously at his mom as she held a bowl full of water out at him, setting it down on his end table once she’d confirmed that he knew of its presence.

“If you feel up to it, you should make sure to drink some water, okay? Otherwise you’ll get dehydrated, since you just threw up,” She reached a hand down and stroked his head gently, and Kusuo nodded both to signify that he heard her and to dislodge it politely.

He knew that. He just hadn’t felt like getting himself water when he would have survived the night regardless. But, now that it had been brought to him, he crawled up on his bed until he could stick his muzzle into the bowl and drink as his mom turned to leave, wishing him a good rest of the night that he almost forgot to return.

Drinking from a bowl like this was mildly demeaning, but it was significantly less of a hassle than using telekinesis to drink from a cup was. So, since he was feeling very icky and wanted to exert as little energy as possible right now, he decided he didn’t care, tucking his head right back under his blanket once he’d had enough to satiate his thirst.

----

Waking up to an alarm at six in the morning when he didn’t have to be at school until closer to nine would usually be a miserable experience, but for once, Kusuo was downright filled with joy when he remembered why he was startled out of a deep sleep so early.

[cathalbravecog]

some drawings i never posted because they were unfinished / i didn't feel like it that may be interesting to some!! (GONNA BE LONG !!)

do know that some of these ARE old and like.. dont reflect my current art! ok? ok! i just wanna show off some stuff.

ms paint doodle interaction comic between archie and frostbite - this had a lot of dialogue so i lost motivation to write it. is also unmotivated to just draw a fic and wants to draw character expressions. sad.... this prolly will never be finished but i may make a shorter version.

unfinished drawing of belle holding a baby tony - if you dont know, tony is my oc. theyre belle's child. they're an adult now, but i wanted to see them interact with belle as a Bebé. i rage quit on this drawing bc it was meant to be a quick doodle but i am a perfectionist and i overdetail stuff... yeah.

unfinished hr from a meme i was gonna draw - he was gonna be holding several sets of pronouns and honorifics to reference their shuffling pronouns when checked on cogs ink. "why does hr get so many pronouns?" idk. ask her.

whatever angst/vent this was gonna be...? stuff i probably wouldnt post anyway but i think the concept of this is cool.

dr sherbert gadgetmaker! my second toon ive ever made after getting back into toontown this year. originally his last name was icepop in ttr, i think. then i went. no. you gotta be more inspired by GARY THE GADGET GUY!!!!!!!! :3 anyways i cant figure out his design at all im struggling very badly! like with all my other toon designs, i think the flesh mouth is gonna GO ! GOODBYE!

first ever attempt at drawing pace. clean but i hate it. no stylization yet. but hey, gotta try stuff out before you make it cool. but uh yeahi dont like this drawing its boring, but some may appreciate it!

collin my boy what are you reading

also collin concept art when i was getting closer to his current design. YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THE INITIAL CONCEPTS. bro was a FLIP PHONE. excuse me abt the empty space but other art was there that i already posted months ago

eren

Let him play games on your phone. he needs at least 4 hours of subway surfers gameplay a day. be nice to the boy

chair.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi i would like to rant to u if thats okay because i saw ur rant u wrote like 6 days ago and it just kinda made me think so i hope u don't mind.

i love writing. i always have and when im writing i always get excited, except then i started posting on the internet. at first i got some attention which actually pushed me to write more and then i wrote this fanfic that blew up and got a lot of attention which dont get me wrong was GREAT like im proud of it, but it also changed my perception of writing

all of a sudden this silly little thing i wrote was now something people were talking about with their friends and reccomending and that was great but it made me feel different about my own work. it changed how i percieved writing, and more often than not i catch myself writing for them, not for me.

recently i started writing this fic that made me giggle and kick my feet while writing it. i wrote it SO fast because i could not get enough of it, and then i started publishing and it didn't get much attention. i've had other fics that didnt get attention before and it was like meh, but after the work i wrote that blew up, it felt like my fics NEEDED to become popular to be good, which is like,,, shit

and whenever i posted a chapter of my new fic or talked about it, i'd get comments on my fic asking about my popular one, if i'll make a second one ect.

it made me lose interest in my story because i'd gotton hooked on others approval and i didn't want to write something they weren't interested in, because then they wouldn't read it and it would all be for nothing.

i forgot the original reason i started writing. for me. and its been so hard to try and just get back into that headspace of writing for me and not others because of the attention i'd gotton from my previous stories.like how i felt now that i had a fair few followers i owed them stories THEY wanted to read.

i'm not sure how to get back into writing for myself, because i don't want to delete my works or stop posting, because i do enjoy it when people say nice things and help my motivation, but at the same time it also makes me feel like i have to write what they want and not what i want, because if i write it and they dont like it ive failed

anyway thats my little rant, i dont know if u even understand what im talking about but it was nice to get off my chest

thank you <3

no i feel u i can def relate 2 a lot of that experience! it can be a weird experience 2 have a fic go viral & it is definitely not always entirely positive. honestly think the only reason i've escaped a lot of the harassment + hate i've seen directed towards other people who have had fics go viral is that my fic that went viral was a rewrite of someone else's story, so most of the discourse remains centered around the original story + writer which honestly. feels like i managed 2 dodge a bullet lmao

but i can def relate 2 the sudden pressure of abruptly finding urself in a situation where tons of people are reading something u were just casually writing 4 fun, and suddenly feeling like u need 2 meet certain demands or live up 2 expectations. honestly feeling this pressure to keep up w those expectations led to some burnout 4 me last fall/winter, which is why i stopped posting for a few months. and like obviously i can't say what would be most helpful 4 u--that's something u kinda have 2 figure out 4 urself--but i do know that for myself + for some other writer friends who i've talked to, taking a break from posting can be really helpful in like...reframing ur mindset. i think getting some distance from the constant expectations + demands + feedback can help sort of clear the air and strips away both that pressure + that attention + sort of makes it easier 2 focus on writing just to write for urself. 4 me it helped me figure out that while i do love sharing my writing + getting nice comments + messages + talking 2 people abt it etc, that's just icing on the cake, and writing still brings me a lot of joy even without any attention. and once i was able to like...center that attitude + ground my writing in personal enjoyment rather than the online attention economy, it made me feel steadier abt coming back + posting again, and also helped get rid of some of the anxiety of meeting people's expectations, bc i realized that at the end of the day i genuinely don't really care if someone dislikes my story so much that they need to stop reading it; in fact, i think it's better for everyone involved if someone who feels like they're not getting what they want from my story goes and looks for what they want somewhere else! it's not a failure on my part to sufficiently like...entertain an audience or provide a product, because that's not what i'm trying to do in the first place, y'know? and i think that shift in mindset helped a lot, and continues to help when i start 2 feel that pressure again from posting my writing online. it's counterintuitive at first bc i think we're all sort of conditioned to think there's no point to making art unless you're making it for an audience, but once u realize that The Audience is not the be all end all of creating art, i think it makes the process of creation a lot more freeing + fun.

anyway hope u are able 2 navigate the weirdness that can come with sharing ur writing online + find a way 2 write that brings u the most joy!!

[fragilecapric0rnn]

i made this playlist for my friend @cheatghost's BEAUTIFULLY wonderful fic show me the place where he inserted the blade. i put a lot of thought into the playlist and was talked into doing an analysis. I will be diving into each part of the fic by going over how and why the songs i chose for each section relate to the themes and events that take place. each part will have it's own post.

here is part I. Before

I. Before

One of my favorite aspects of this story is how Lou started it with “Before”, for multiple reasons! The presence of a “before” means that there is this sense of looming danger, an uneasiness about all the events in this section. The anticipation as the reader waits for the life-changing event, which in this case is Eddie being taken into a very confidential WITSEC situation that cuts him off from everyone and everything in his life.

I. The Place Where He Inserted The Blade by Black Country, New Road

The playlist starts with the titular song, the song that is in the epigraphs of each chapter, and the song that has its roots growing in, around, and throughout this entire work. It was only right that the playlist be introduced by this song.

You’re scared of a world where you’re needed

So you never made nice with the locals

But you tied me up slow with your vine stuff

It takes a few years, but they break bones

It takes a few months, but our bones heal

We’re stronger, and we tell all our school friends

And they sign our cast in the playground

Darling, the rest of my body, it’s yours, then

This is the epigraph from the first chapter, which encapsulates the feelings in Before very well. The uneasiness.

II. Microwave Dinner by Petey 

This song, in general, just feels like a very Steddie song to me (if you see it on other playlists of mine - no you didn't).

Yeah, I guess I'm just a bit of a goofball

But we don't joke around like we used to

It's hard to have a laugh when you feel the truth

This just feels very much like those first few months. It's Steve figuring out how to build a relationship with Eddie after everything that has happened and everything that keeps happening in the aftermath.

But your eyes are the truth, and our hearts are congruent

And in the very, very moment I think that I love you

Yeah, I love you

And I think that I need ya

The word choice in this part is what sticks with me. That think. I THINK that I love and need you. It's Steve figuring all of this out while harboring these festering feelings that are stronger than friendship. It's him being awkward as he gifts Eddie the Garfield mug, and the moment in Family Video when Steve feels compelled to go after him and doesn't. He's figuring it out.

III. Pink in the Night by Mitski 

It's like a summer shower

With every drop of rain singing

"I love you, I love you, I love you -

The way that this song builds up from this slow tempo, slow serenade and into this intense and loud belting song feels evocative of Steve and Eddie's relationship. How the summer months it is this slow build up of stolen moments, words almost said dangling in the air, Steve being - as Eddie says it - "so damn agreeable" - and every move made and word said being filled with so much more emotion than either of them realize, but is so clear to the reader. It's the moment in the van when Eddie traces Steve's moles and points out Fawn. It's the sign! It's the kiss that finally happens after months of pining and yearning and build up. It's the moment!

I could stare at your back all day

This one line. It is so many moments in this section, echoing what was said above about that first set of lyrics.

This line: "Eddie presses kisses into Steve’s back, “Yeah.” He moves his fingers again, connecting the dots, tracing a particular shape, 'I see Fawn here.'"

When I hear this line, I see this scene SO clearly.

IV. Intertwined by Dodie

There are a few songs that I would like to copy and paste the entirety of its lyrics to this post and just wave my hand in front of it and say, "ya know?" This is one of those songs!  

Safe from the world

Though the world will try

This song, these lyrics in particular, feel very representative of the feelings in January/February/March. It's tender, it's soft spoken lyrics with even more subtle guitar. Just, soft.

I've pinned each and every hope on you

I hope you don't bleed with me

I'm afraid of the things in my brain

But we can stay here

And laugh away the fear

The scene in March where Eddie talks Steve down from a nightmare-induced anxiety attack, the softness of it.

This line: "So Eddie shows up for him. For Steve. He tightens his hold over him and brings Steve closer, tucks his head under his own chin, and he presses a kiss into his crown of golden hair."

The closeness between the two. The unspoken you are safe, you are with me and you are safe, is what came to mind with this song, especially the lyrics highlighted above.

V. First Love/Late Spring by Mitski 

Another instance of me wanting to point at the whole song and go "THIS IS THE VIBE".

And I don't wanna go home yet Let me walk to the top of the big night sky

I did pick this song more so for the vibe, as we are reaching that moment in April. The big moment, the turning point in not only the story but in Steve's life. It is a song about being terrified by the intensity of the love being felt. As a reader, you should feel terrified the more Steve falls in love with Eddie, because the reader knows that this is not going to end well. Similar to the previous Mitski song I chose, it has that anticipatory vibe, that looming threat that of this is not going to end well.

VI. Hang On Me (piano version) by St. Vincent 

I can't help but think of this scene in relation to this song: "Something is screaming at him to drive Eddie away, far away, and never look back. It’s making his bones ache, his throat is dry, and he wants to turn and push Eddie back in the car, but he can’t."

I cannot stop the aeroplane from crashin' And we circle down from the sky

Steve knows, deep down, he knows what is about to happen. He knows that nothing good can come from this second fire. He knows but he also knows he cannot stop it.

You and me We're not meant for this world

"In red marker, on a piece of lined paper ripped out from a notebook, Eddie’s written Don’t Forget Me." And Steve's life is forever changed. Everything that happens to him from this moment on will forever be tainted with feeling of after. After Eddie was taken. After his heart was stolen from him. After.

[scamanderishredmayniac]

heya! hope youve had a nice day when you get this:) i just wanted to ask a few questions if you dont mind? and apologies if the answer to any of these are on your blog, i swear ive looked and only resorted to this because i couldn't find them^^ 1. what are your pronouns? i always like getting to know blogs with this first:)

2. what are your wattpad and ao3 accounts? id love to read your fics!

3. do you mind if i do some of the newt appreciation month prompts a bit late? its been a hell of a month for me but i still wanna touch on some of the earlier ones (granted i get the time lol)

Hiya!

Thanks for sending in your ask, I don’t mind people asking me questions as long as they’re not too personal. Some of the answers to your questions are on the blog, it’s just that they won’t be easy to find. For instance,

1. I have never outright stated what my pronouns are, because I don’t think it’s important for anyone to know really, but I have given clues in tags in the past. Such as little things like ‘a girl can dream can’t she?’ So I guess I go by she/her.

2. My Ai3 account goes by similar name handle as my tumblr, at TheScamanderishRadmayniac. I’ve never mentioned my wattpad account name before, but I have posted links to two of my fanfics from there on here before. The one I mentioned the reader who read it in one sitting is here

Another one I posted the link to in December time you can find here

I don’t have many works posted on either account, although there are quite a few projects I’m working on, so watch this space. They’ll be more stuff coming soon on both accounts. :D @afrenchaugurey I know you were asking for links to my wattpad stories, and someone else too, but I forget who. But anyway for those who want to read my wattpad stuff, those are two of my works on there. I’m working on a few Fantastic beasts stuff too, that are in my drafts. One of them i need book cover for, and to make up my mind as to what I want to call it (keep changing my mind), but will be a book of one shots hopefully, and some other full length stories too. But we shall see.

3. Oh my gosh, yeah by all means do them, do the challenge. Honestly I don’t mind how late people do the Newt appreciation challenge at all. I just want people to enjoy and have fun doing them. Since I don’t know who you are, it would be great if you could tag me on each post as you do the challenge. I’d love to see what you do with them, and how you answer them. I’d really appreciate that.

Thanks so much for taking an interest in my works snd the challenge. I really appreciate it, and for taking the time to send the ask. :) hope that answers your questions and hope you have a nice day too! :))

[jjackfrost]

genuinely no better feeling than deciding to read something on a whim, only for it to completely alter your brain chemistry in ways you are unprepared for. i finished otnwas in 4 days because i literally couldn’t put it down i was severely suffering from just-one-more-chapter syndrome (and honestly how could i not with those cliffhangers) and have been re-reading my favorite parts over and over the past month. i can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful my experience has been, i love it so so so so much. i really felt like i time-travelled too because the way the hours were whizzing so quickly… what do you mean i was reading for 15 hours straight ??????

i’ve been stewing on how to properly convey the feelings i had for this story, only because it felt so much bigger than me that i struggled to find the words. otnwas has made a permanent home in my heart. thank you for bringing back the whimsy and magic i felt at 13 when i first watched these movies and fell in love with its characters.

the heartwarming brotherly relationship of jack and jamie, the slay of the century that was your majesty the snow queen, the rtte references!!, blizzard of 68 angst (how dare u..) the comedy, the chemistry, the MAGIC, the lore, the sweet and gradual romance between hiccup and jack (the slowest burn in history i was crying and shaking and ripping my hair out at the reveal) - seriously the rollercoaster of emotions i went through !!!!!!!!! giggling, kicking my legs, screaming, throwing up like the whole works ,, just unmatched.. i’m a mess i’ll be spending the rest of my days searching for the high that i had when i read this for the first time i’m so serious....

an enormous thank you for writing and sharing it with the world (and also for bringing me back into the hijack community) i’ll end this with my favorite quote ever from otnwas, though i have many but this is my top:

“it makes me wonder what time really is. if it’s linear, or if each moment exists in its own present… because then maybe a part of us will always be here… and this moment won’t ever end. even when we’ve moved on, i’ll know that there is still a jack and hiccup somewhere in the universe, existing just like this forever.”

wishing you lovely days ahead :)🌷🤍🌟❄🌙

MAN THANK YOU SO MUCH this was so nice to read 🥹🥹🥹 15 hours straight is actually kinda crazy, are you okay?

im glad theres so much in there you enjoyed (maybe especially snow, since i always feel a bit self conscious about including oc’s in fics. yet it keeps happening lol) and like ive said, ive been enjoying reading your posts about the fic 😆 the most fulfilling thing is to see it being talked about without me being part of the conversation haha

ALSO so happy you enjoyed that part specifically, because it is also one of my favorite scenes :’)

[sungbeam]

*clears throat & puts on my mic* why hello my fellow fiery elmo BEAM SOHN!!!

my favourite fic of yours:

two months - if the reason ain’t obvious enough 🤪 patiently waiting for you to read the house tour in ✨detail✨ (inserts the meme i sent you on dc)

best ship you’ve written for:

ain’t no romeo - everything abt hyunjae’s relationship with yn in this was so cute i was giggling throughout the whole fic like 🥹🥹🥹 they are the funniest and sweetest duo imo

a fic i haven’t read from you but i will soon!!:

剪刀石头布 - ofc i love my junjun so i’ll def get to this one day!! and your svt fics that you take pride in ofc 💕

what i like most abt your writing:

ummm literally everything???? gurl you’re my 妹妹 and yet this 姐姐 literally looks up to you like???? the way you’re able to convey your stories in your own unique ways/the way you describe the flow of the plot/your word of choice is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

a fic im excited for you updating/posting:

liu series - obviously duh. and we know which season im most excited abt 😌😌😌

crimes of passion - hey alexa play passion fruit but change it to “oooh gimme that crimes of passion!!!”

a fic of yours i reread:

gurl ive reread so many of your fics from time to time but the most recent one would be party people!!

if i've ever shared/talked about your fic to someone else:

all the time??? lol ive pretty much dumped your fics to so many of my moots at this point like “YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ISTG”

a fic I didn't expect to like so much:

simple gifts - hear me out. this was literally the very first chanhee fic i read since coming back at the start of the year and i was???? BRUH THIS IS PURE PERFECTION LIKE LITERALLY FROM THE START TILL THE END 🫠 and it has then marked a special place for chanhee in my heart (i know i dont talk abt him often but i swear he’s there)

a question i have about one/more on your fics:

well not specifically for a fic but rather a general question. when will you bless your jie with more sangyeon content 🥰 (lmao i joke but then at the same time not really 🤡)

anyways, me decides to be nice today cs its a happy friday so yes i wuv you forever my boo i hope this made your day 😘💕

*gives u an immense side eye*....... but thank you jie for your ask skfndknfjd :')))) you've always been one of the most supportive people ever of my writing and you're always so enthusiastic abt it all and i appreciate it so much 💖

pls i didn't realize u would like two months that much when i wrote it 😭😭 i felt so off my game writing that, i didn't know if any of the stuff would hit, but ig it did skfnkenfkf HELP WAIT I didn't know u liked hj and yn in ain't no romeo so much !!!! that's so cool for me to hear :'))

thank you again and again and again for hyping me up all the time too 😔💖 i love hearing ur thoughts abt the fic, as always, and i just trust ur judgment a lot :') and i hope u like 剪刀石头布 !! that one was soooo much fun to write, and there was so few xiaohenyang fics at that time 😔😔😔

OMG WAIT i didn't know u read simple gifts 😭😭😭 she holds such a special place in my heart omg i didn't KNOW U READ IT AHHHHHHHY it's one of my favorite things on this blog and im so warm, tytyty<333 (u have to be patient w the sangyeon content õ_ó)

anyways, i love you thank you 爱你多多 💖